#GODDAMMIT...........my berries..................

[inoreuct]

zosan caretaking fluff feat. hair washing, banter and very soft vibes. dinner is served.

Sanji sighed, sliding down until the back of his head pressed against the lip of the bathtub. The water was toeing the line between too hot and just right and he'd poured in enough lavender emulsion to coat it with dense, heady bubbles; they tickled his chin as he let his eyes slip shut.

It had been such a long day.

He'd been rudely woken up by the sound of a cannonball crashing through their hull, tossed out of his bunk a second later when the enemy ship rammed into their side; having to fight moments after being startled awake had already put him in a horrid mood, and then he'd realised that the galley had taken damage and he would have to restock more than half of everything he'd had in there. The fridge had lost power too so he'd had to cook all the meat that had thawed (which, to be fair, was never a problem with Luffy around) but then his whole crew had scattered during their supply run and he'd lugged a shit-ton of food back to the Sunny himself and now his brain was buzzing and his everything was aching and he was pretty sure he had gunpowder in his hair.

The steam filled his lungs when he breathed in, damp and dense and warm, settling heavy as he trailed his fingers through the milky water. His neck hurt from staring down at goods all day and he could feel the beginning of a tension headache behind his eyeballs. It was a small blessing that he had the bathroom to himself—

The door creaked open.

Goddammit. Sanji sucked down a fortifying breath before he looked up— and relaxed, because thankfully, the one possible person he might be able to tolerate at the moment was sliding inside with one arm behind his back.

Zoro pushed the door shut with his heel, loose pants wrapped low around his hips and hair already darkening from the humidity. "Hi."

"Hello, marimo," Sanji sighed, tilting his head to the side. He watched as Zoro trudged over and stuck his free hand into the water before yanking it back with a muffled hiss.

"That's hot."

"Nearly enough to boil a lobster," the cook agreed mildly, eyebrows flashing up as he turned his head to track Zoro pulling up a stool, lazy and languid. "Now did you need anything, or are you just here to kill off more of my brain cells?"

Zoro gave him a dry look.

A heavy exhale slipped from Sanji's nose before he reached behind him, fingers brushing Zoro's elbow and sliding down to take his hand. He spread the swordsman's fingers out, tracing over hard-earned callouses with featherlight swirls. "I'm sorry, mon chou," he sighed, letting his temple fall against Zoro's knuckles. "Just... tired, is all."

"I know." Zoro flipped his palm, rubbing a thumb over Sanji's cheekbone before pulling away. "Brought you something."

Sanji heard the sound of glass being picked up and nearly turned before he was presented with a dark, stout bottle, the labelling font reminiscent of chalk on a blackboard. "Pirate Blend," he read, huffing a chuckle. Fitting. "No glass?"

"As if you won't finish the whole thing."

He let out a faux-indignant gasp, reaching out to whack the back of his hand against Zoro's bare chest. "Ass."

"That was my tit, cook. Think the steam's getting to your head."

The laugh that peeled its way out of Sanji's throat was sticky with exhaustion, steeped through with lavender suds and underpinned by the ache in his muscles as he popped the cork with his teeth and took a swig. "...Where did you get this?"

"There was a tasting booth in the market. Thought you'd like this one."

"You thought right," Sanji admitted, lifting the bottle to his mouth again and letting the wine coat his tongue; a red by the taste of it, with a nearly savoury spiced vanilla and dark, syrupy cacao, a rich core of sweet berry, an almost silky hint of dry tannin. He held out the bottle, but Zoro shook his head with a soft quirk of his mouth.

"Got it for you, swirly."

The cook smirked. "Suit yourself. So that's where you ran off to while poor little me was stuck doing all the heavy lifting," he lamented, sighing and emphasising it with an exaggerated sip.

"Not just that."

He heard twine sliding across waxed paper, packaging rustling as it was unfolded—

The water sloshed as Sanji set his bottle down and turned around, holding onto the edge of the tub as Zoro pulled the last bit of paper away to reveal the set of soaps in his lap.

The cook's breath caught. Each of the five bars clearly had a different scent, and a design to match; the one with green and cream swirls was matcha, surely, and the translucent one with rose petals was obviously rose. One more was oat and honey, and the one with a herb sprig on top was definitely rosemary mint— But the last one was plain brown, mild enough that his nose couldn't pick out what it was supposed to be. "Marimo."

"Hm?"

"How much did these cost?"

Zoro shot him a smug grin. "Just a couple of logs that needed chopping... And some charm."

"You." The cook blinked, stretching out like a cat to rest his chin on his hands, lips twitching as he tried to hide his awed smile. "Charm."

"Oi! I can be charming when I want to be!" The swordsman scowled at Sanji's fond, disbelieving scoff. "I charmed you, didn't I?"

"Yes, well—" Sanji felt a little breathless, buoyant, like if he let go of the tub he'd float with no effort at all. "Yes, I suppose you did." He held still, heart fluttering in the hollow of his throat as Zoro's face softened, leaning forward to poke at something in his hair.

"You've got gunpowder in your bangs."

"I— Ugh, I know!" he complained, rolling over with a dramatic sigh.

"Well, hurry up and pick one, then!"

"Pick one?" Sanji lurched up again, bubbles sloshing everywhere, eyes flicking between Zoro and the soaps. "I can't just pick one, they all smell so good and they're too pretty to—"

"Oh, for the love of— Curly, can you just pick one and let me wash your hair?" Zoro deadpanned, crossing his arms over his chest and completely oblivious to the way he'd just made Sanji's entire system freeze, the inconsiderate moss-headed bastard.

If a cannonball crashed into their ship again, Sanji wouldn't have noticed. If the Sunny was sinking, he wouldn't have cared. He was much too preoccupied with staring at the man sitting in front of him, skin flushed with the warmth, green hair mussed as it always was, soaps that he'd bought for Sanji on a whim in his lap. The cook's fingers dug into the edge of the tub and gripped until ceramic squeaked. Zoro wanted to wash his hair.

Zoro's throat bobbed as he swallowed, clearly fighting the urge to look away. "Look, if you don't want—"

"No!" Sanji yelped, startling himself enough that he nearly clapped his hands over his own mouth. "No, I— This one," he breathed, reaching for the plain brown bar and pressing it into Zoro's palm. "This one." He knew that he probably looked nearly shocked, eyes so wide it must have been unsettling, but his chest ached something fierce when he breathed in deep down all the way to his gut and he couldn't help it. His water must have been getting cold by now but he didn't feel it at all.

Zoro's lashes fluttered as he shifted in his seat, carefully wrapping the rest of the soaps up and placing them aside. "Okay, then. Turn around."

Sanji flipped, sitting still as Zoro gently pulled the tie from his hair and slipped it around his own wrist, holding back a shiver when calloused hands cupped his face to guide him nearer the running tap. The water seemed warm, but not warmer than Zoro himself; the swordsman always seemed to run ridiculously hot and Sanji—

"Relax," Zoro murmured, his hand broad and steady against the back of Sanji's head. "I've got you, cook. Lean back."

And Sanji was slowly coming to realise that he was loathe to deny Zoro anything, so he did. He let his weight sink back against Zoro's hand, trusting the swordsman to hold him up, letting his eyes close as Zoro carefully poured water over his scalp until his curls were soaked. He didn't open them even as he was pushed back up, settling comfortably in the tub as Zoro lathered the soap in his hands. What remaining suds left in the tub lapped at his collarbones; the water was a soothing pressure all around his torso, and he didn't bother hiding his soft sigh when Zoro's fingers slid into his hair.

"S'getting long." Firm fingertips started scrubbing at his scalp, kneading into spots of tension Sanji didn't even know he had. "You gonna cut it?"

"Mm? No," he sighed, shuddering when Zoro dragged his thumbs up from his nape. "Think I w'na grow it out."

Zoro hummed at that, tipping the cook's head to the side. "You'll look pretty."

"I know I will. And you'll tell me every day."

"Oh, will I, now?"

"Mhm."

The swordsman scoffed without any bite, doing something with his fingers that made Sanji melt. "You're so cocky."

"Mhm," Sanji mumbled again, not even bothering to find out what he was agreeing to. He had better things to focus on. "Just... keep doing that."

He heard Zoro chuckle and then pretty much zoned out completely, tension bleeding from his muscles, letting Zoro move his head this way and that. His bathwater was tepid at this point; he didn't care. Zoro's hands were big and warm and as the bubbles drifted down to his shoulders, he finally realised what this bar was scented with.

Sandalwood suffused his senses, a deep creamy sweetness with an undercurrent of leather and earth. With what little wherewithal he had left, Sanji decided that it suited Zoro more than it did him. Maybe he'd try to convince the mosshead to take it for himself. A few kisses should be bribery enough. Fingertips dug beneath the bones just behind his ears, working until the ache dissipated, and Sanji felt his shoulders slump because God, that felt good.

He didn't know how long he sat there, drifting blissfully between sleep and Zoro's fingers scrubbing at his crown, gingerly detangling his hair, but if you had to ask him his answer would be not long enough. His eyes fluttered open when Zoro tapped his cheek, and he squinted at the light. "Wh—"

"Wake up, baby. Gotta rinse."

The pet name made something tucked inside his ribcage pull tight like a gasp, but Sanji just closed his eyes again. "Just a while longer..."

Zoro chuckled as Sanji's head lolled in his palm. "We should get you to bed."

"Noooooo." Was he whining? This was ridiculous. He really didn't care.

"You're a spoiled prince," Zoro said matter-of-factly.

"Your fault." Sanji discreetly cracked one eye open to gauge the swordsman's reaction and immediately closed it when he saw Zoro's expression, sucking in a hitched breath.

That was enough devotion in a glance to kill a man, and it tore through Sanji like a fucking bullet. Right through the ribs, in and out faster than he could stop it, so quick that he didn't even realise until his love was bleeding out of him, all over his hands, filling his mouth, colouring his teeth, honeyed at the back of his throat and finally he'd be able to see how much of it his heart held. He didn't mind. He didn't think he ever would, actually; he'd fill this bathtub with red if it meant that Zoro would see. If it meant that he would understand how every time he looked at Sanji like that it felt like he had Sanji's heart in his fist, his lungs in a vice, his goddamn life under his thumb.

Sanji had come to terms with it long ago. He put his soul in these battle-scarred hands every day and he trusted them to be gentle because he knew that they could, they would be, for him. Even now, Zoro took his weight easily, one palm at his nape and the other stopping suds from getting into his eyes and it meant far too much for something so simple, but that was just how it worked, wasn't it?

The cook swallowed hard, allowing himself one more moment before pushing up so Zoro wouldn't accidentally waterboard him. It would possibly be hilarious but he might also very possibly just die, considering how low his guard was. The thought made him laugh a little, strained with how his head was tipped back; he saw Zoro give him a weird look upside-down and decided that he was either more tired than he'd thought or he'd had more of the wine than he'd realised.

Zoro rinsed his hair quickly, but he was no less meticulous than he had been at the beginning. It was something that Sanji had refused to admit he admired at first, that single-minded intensity regarding the things Zoro cared about, and oh, wasn't that a thought? That he belonged within that distinction now. Sanji pulled his knees to his chest when the swordsman leaned over to grab the towel he had set out, scrunching the cook's hair dry as best he could and then dropping the fluffy white cloth over his head just to make him laugh.

The bottle of wine was relatively full when Sanji picked it up, holding it up to the light as Zoro dried his hair. "Guess I didn't finish it after all."

"Yeah, well." Zoro shrugged as he took it from him to put aside and tugged gently on a stray curl. "Nobody's gonna want it now that it has your spit in it."

Sanji scoffed. "You'd still drink it. You'd drink any booze."

"...Yeah, I would."

Zoro's eyes were a soft grey as he stood up. Sanji had a feeling that he could have left out the second part of that statement and the answer would still be the same.

He let Zoro pull him up out of the tub, wrap him in the towel and hold open the pair of briefs he'd left for him to step into. He held his arms up as Zoro pulled his soft sleep shirt over his head, brazen as if he didn't know full well the shirt was Zoro's to begin with. If it were any other time he might have protested against being helped to dress like a child— but for now he'd just refuse to admit that he enjoyed it, enjoyed being cared for, even in minute ways like this. Plausible deniability and all that.

Sanji didn't resist as the swordsman took his hand, leading him back to the men's quarters and tugging the covers up for him, patting them into place around his shoulders as he settled. The bed dipped by his hip where Zoro sat, and Sanji sighed as his damp bangs were brushed away from his face. Zoro liked seeing both his eyes, he'd noticed. Maybe he'd start wearing his hair back more often.

"Goodnight, cook," Zoro whispered, leaning down to press a soft kiss to Sanji's temple.

Sanji's brain was full of cotton and sandalwood suds. He squeezed over underneath the blankets, cupping Zoro's face in his palms. "Stay."

The swordsman laughed under his breath. "Haven't showered."

Sanji considered letting him in anyway, but yep, nope, guess his brain wasn't that full of cotton. "Make it quick," he ordered, the effect broken by the massive yawn that interrupted his last word. Pulling Zoro down for a proper kiss was easier than breathing, the press of their lips just enough to wrap warmth over his skin like a blanket. "And use the soap from just now."

Zoro huffed at the words murmured against his mouth. "Spoiled."

"Your fault," Sanji yawned again, jabbing a finger into Zoro's chest before waving him away.

He heard his boyfriend's rumble of a laugh, smiled into his pillow as Zoro's acquiescence was brushed over his cheek, before the lamp was turned down and the door opened and shut. He'd been serious about Zoro being quick; they both slept better when they shared a bunk, and today had been more than enough of a shitshow for them to have earned a good night's rest.

Sanji snuggled down, fully intent on waiting.

He was asleep between one breath and the next.

(And if he woke briefly to curl closer when Zoro slid half-asleep into bed behind him, clean and warm and smelling of sandalwood, well. Neither of them would remember it in the morning.)

thank you for reading! part 2 where sanji takes care of zoro is already in the works, so keep your eyes peeled if you're interested :)

#wishing i was sanji rn #i'm telling you that man is fussy about his drinks but zoro knows his preference down to the last flavour note #that l.a.s. vino pirate blend is a real thing btw and it's absolutely delicious #zosan #zosan fanfic #one piece zosan #op zosan #zoro x sanji #roronoa zoro #black leg sanji #sanji #one piece sanji #zoro #one piece zoro #one piece #ino writes #it has been SUCH a long day it's 3am again #but writing this was like a balm to my soul

[gaviymarcsbride]

LOVED THE LAST FIC BABES💯 Maybe a part 2 with a lil smut🤏🏼

Part 1 can be found here

The number six stayed on top of you, arms starting to hurt. He was drinking you in, how your messy bun was starting to fall because of earlier, how good your acrylics felt against his scalp as you ran your fingers through his hair while your other hand gently scratched his arm, and how amazing you looked with his shirt showing everyone you were his.

"Pablo?" Brown eyes burning through you while you were under him, waiting to see what he would do.

"¿He mencionado lo hermosa que eres?"(have I mentioned how beautiful you are?) You cheeks becoming pink, he finally realized why he couldn't get away from you, your eyes entrancing him to believing he would never be able to love anyone but you.

"Todos los días, porque boni-" (everyday, why pretty bo-) he cut you off smashing his lips onto yours, not being able to hold himself back anymore. Savoring your lips, he smiled, tasting the berry chapstick you wore everyday. He never got tired of it, because he knew only you could taste so sweet.

It was a mess. Feet tangled, whimpers and groans bouncing across the room, there wasn't any other thought in your heads at the moment.

"Pablo, por favor haz algo" (Pablo, please do something). At these words, he immediately took your shirt off and attacked your neck, smelling the sweet scent of your coconut body lotion he got you spontaneously a few weeks ago.

But just as he was about to cave in and stop his teasing, he heard the voice of the one person he didn't expect.

"Ey Cabron, ¿donde estas?"(where are you?)

Goddammit Pedri, he thought. He felt you groan, head tucked into his neck, leaving soft kisses. "¿Porque le diste una llave extra a Pedri?" (Why did you give Pedri an extra key?), your head moved, and you're e/c eyes showed annoyance.

"Lo siento hermosa, pero el es mi mejor ami-" (I know beautiful, but he's my best fri-) he's suddenly cut off by the intro of the 2023 FIFA game.

"Tio, apurate que te voy a ganar, ¿o tengo que ir a arrastrarte hasta aca?" (Bro, hurry up so I can beat you, or do I have to haul your ass back here?).

A/N: Babes, I LOVED this request, I was literally GIGGLING while writing this cause I'm in love with this man and his best friend.

#gavi fluff #gavi imagine #gavi x reader #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi smut #Alewrites

[posttexasstressdisorder]

"The best revenge..."

...is living and eating WELL while (and in spite of) living in poverty.

I actually had the gumption to try and have a cafe 30 or so years ago, and I live with a guy who had his own bakery: a Danish-trained Chef currently working as a Sous Chef at a big hotel in The City, and his 21 yr old son (who has literally been an assistant sous chef to his dad his whole life).

We're all barely afloat, his son is looking for his first real job-job "out there", and getting discouraged. Y'all hear regularly about my poverty status, and my roomie chef is doin' as much as he can, and we're all three freakin' broke.

Fuck it. We may be broke, but we are are gonna Eat as best we can with what we got. So to the current example.

Yes, I know how to cook Mexican Food like any native ex-south-texan worth his salt and lime. Yes I learned how mama/grandma did it, either mine or someone else's.

Roomie and I are carnivores, son is veg. We all agree that Mexican Food is good, so I'm always looking for how to spend my "old-fuck-on-food-stamps EBT the best way.

Behold, Example 1: 20 lb. bag of dried pinto beans.

20 lbs for $17. And lookee there: it's Fiesta, no stranger to this former Austinite. And anyone who knows knows that this boy knows how to make a pot o'pintos, with/without carnivorousness. Keep 'em on the stove long enough you got Refrieds.

Somebody at Groce-Out is from Texas, gotta be: They have Velveeta and Rotel (for QUESO!) at near-normal prices! I laughed today. Velveeta was 6.99 at Groce-Out, and I shit you not, $14.95 at Lucky.

Got that along with a couple 2-lb bags of their "Hollis Street" whole bean French Roast (Dark) for $11.95 ea. This is surprisingly good coffee beanage, freshly roasted right up the road in Emeryville, evidently. So good coffee for cheap. A similar brand at the 'non discount' grocery store I go to is $21 for a 2lb bag.

While they aren't the winner in the coffee bean competition, Lucky (the non-discount store) is great for meat, especially mid-week, when they have lots of specials. Their "megapaks" of chicken thighs (10/pkg) were buy one get one free. So for ten bucks, I got 20 thighs (over 7lbs), which, when roasted with lots of salt and pepper, and cooled and shredded and deboned become something like 4 pounds of Chicken Enchilada Meat. For ten bucks.

Tomorrow I go to another discount store closeby roomie told me about that has the best commercial Hatch Chile in a jar I have ever found. Tastes like mine, when we would get a case at a time at Central Market, get 'em roasted in the parking lot, and take 'em home and shuck most of the the skins/seeds, and saute onion and garlic and add. In. A. Fucking. Jar.

So you see where this is heading.

We will be having a TexMex Enchilada/taco Feast that can be repeated at will until we've eaten/given enough away. Freezer. Vacuum sealer. Oooooooom.

And yeah, we got the dessert thing covered. I buy flour, the three sugars, butter, real cream, good organic milk, good brown eggs. I bake everything from fucking scratch. I buy berries and grapes as my main fruit. I don't buy a lot of processed ANYTHING. I buy ingredients. And bread/tortillas, obvs. And I'm happy I have the "card" that gives me my eeked-out apportionment of "food funds".

So that old adage of "The Best Revenge" being "living well" means we may be fucking poor, but goddammit, we are gonna Eat, with a capital E if I have anything to say about it.

All three of us are pretty much clinging to the same leaky life-raft, this accursed but oh-so-necessary apartment, not much overlap in our lives/diets/schedules, but every once in awhile I get to go back into "restaurant mode" and do up a Massive Feed. Share with the neighbors and stock the freezer.

And a pot of beans on the stove in perpetuity.

[tunashei]

First impressions of Animorphs!

I'm listening to the Animorphs series while I work, through Animorphs Aloud - a fan made reading of the series. Here are my first impressions/random thoughts about them! Spoilers below if you haven't read them.

Book 4: The Message

Cassie viewpoint! I quite like Cassie, and I thought this one would be Marco viewpoint which I am dreading.

Oh god Tobias almost killed and ate Cassie can you imagine the GUILT. He's had issues with having to hunt to begin with, and then he eats a friend? Horrifying. Surprised he was just grumpy and not freaking the fuck out.

Marco at the end of chapter: I would do anything for Andalite

Marco the in the next sentence of the following chapter: WHy tf are we doing this

Goddammit Marco.

Ok we're just straight up shooting at kids. These Yeerks are so trigger happy it's amazing they haven't been caught so far. Everyone in this series is terrible at stealth.

Oooh morphing into dolphins. I wonder if they'll be sapient, can you morph into a sapient species? Could the animorphs morph into other humans??'

Do you reckon Rachel acquired the dolphin called Rachel

Ugh man this series is TOO GOOD at describing animal mindsets and experiences. I want to try being a dolphin and be that graceful in my element. Humans are rather clunky creatures.

Hey I was right! You can morph away damage! Neat.

Sapient whale! I love.

Conversation between Marco and Cassie was sweet, and Marco surprisingly mature? I like him more when he's being serious. Pointing out that not acting is still making a choice is a powerful realisation. It's been pointed out a couple times that Marco is usually the one critiquing plans which is very necessary because these guys make a lot of bad plans. So I appreciate that aspect of his character too.

Case in point. The place they're going to is too far out in the ocean to swim, so they're hitching a ride on a boat. But you guys have to GET BACK. The boat will be gone by then.

Underwater dome world. Anyone else picturing Ponyo?

Andalite friend! This is another spoiler I knew, that they'd make one. He does sound way too similar to the Prince Andalite from book 1 in the audio version though.

The Yeerks make the earth barren. Hmm I'm starting to sense a theme of saving the environment from these books. xD

Ok but HOW did Axe acquire a shark? This was something I was musing on when I realised it'd be an ocean themed book - it's way harder to catch large sea creatures. The dolphins at a zoo is a perfect scenario, but anything else you'd really struggle to get your hands on.

Follow up question, can you acquire dna from dead animals? Dna degrades when you die but I don't know how long before it's too destroyed to use.

Seeings Visser Three's morphs is always a treat. So many new aliens. I like the water jet propulsion this one has.

WHALE EX MACHINA.

Acquire the whale. Acquire the whale. Acquire the whale. Acquire the whale. Acquire the whale. WHY DIDN'T YOU ACQUIRE THE WHALE.

Interesting, a fused morph. I wonder if you can only do it with the same species or if you could fuse say, a tiger and a mantis. There's been a couple of times when they've done a sort of half morph between a human and an animal. Is there advanced morphing technique.

So an Andalite can morph into a human which answers the question of morphing into sapient creatures. I wonder what a humans 'instincts' would be. Like how they get the urge to hunt if they're a predator, or run if they're prey. Urge to pick berries? Urge to dance to music?

#animorphs #the animorphs #book #first impressions #books #reading #audio book #animorphs aloud

[as-i-watch]

So apparently part 6 of the Strawhat Grand Fleet got eaten so it is here again

The Stories of the Self-Proclaimed Straw Hat Grand Fleet

Part 6: The New Giant Warrior Pirates

"To Buggy the Clown,

We quit.

-Signed Hajrudin, Captain of the New Giant Warrior Pirates."

Buggy: get those badtards back!! They're my top money makers!!

Mohji: and who are they exactly??

Buggy: the new giant warrior pirates. A small crew consisting of only 5 members

Buggy: The Captain, Hajdruin

Mohji: where are his pants??

Buggy: not important. Next we have Stansen, their Shipwright. Apparently Uncle Rayleigh broke him out of slavery when he met the strawhats.

Mohji: okay. Now who's this emo boy band looking wannabe?

Buggy: That's Road. The aptly named navigator of the crew

Mohji:I also expect that he's also a master swordsman

Buggy: Probably. Next is the Cook, Goldberg.

Mohji: the fuck is wrong with his shield?

Buggy: many things. And lastly is their Docotor, Gerd.

Mohji:Awoo-gah!!!

Buggy: Restrain yourself you filthy animal. She will destroy you.

Mohji: I know she's a giant.

Buggy: not like that you buffoon. She's a childhood friend of Big Mom.

Mohji: what?

Buggy: apparently she was their when Big Mom went on her rampage there when she was a kid. Goddammit I just lost ny best money makers.

Mohji: there's also a P.S.

Buggy: what is it?

Mohji: "we're taking 500 Million berries also"

Buggy: GODAMMIT.

Uncle Rayleigh

Also Buggy being like 'get a hold of yourself you pervert'. I cant wait for them to meet the straw hats again

#ask #ask: op

[e-the-village-cryptid]

not all disabilities/neurodivergencies were adaptive, sometimes people are just disabled and that’s ok, but the more I do things my ancient ancestors would have done the more I realize how ADHD could have been helpful in some ways

the people with me are tired of picking berries. I am not tired of picking berries. I will never be tired of picking berries. picking berries releases the Good Chemicals in my brain. I could stay out here picking berries until it is too dark to see the berries. I stepped on a wasp’s nest and was swelling up and in quite a bit of pain yet would have seriously considered staying and picking more berries had it not been for that one determined wasp still chasing me

20,000 BCE me would still probably forget every task they were given except the most recent one and be a huge pain to deal with if they ever had to do something they found boring, but goddammit I would feed the whole clan with my berries

#adhd #an e original #would also probably forget to eat and use the bathroom while picking berries #and that's why it's still a disability folks

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Some baby names for Wally and Linda's hypothetical and theoretical (my current theory is that Linda is pregnant 👀👀👀) third child:

Berry West- This name would be cute for a little girl. I think it'd have to be a girl (specifically with the E spelling instead of the A.) It'd just be too weird if Wally named his children 'Barry and Iris' after the married couple. It's like naming your kids Romeo and Juliet, it doesn't track for siblings. So the spelling 100% has to be different. A plus about this name is that it follows the family trend of naming children after other family members and it also allows for cute berry related nicknames like Blueberry and Strawberry. Also technically Wally has named a kid 'Barry West' in alternate universes before so it's not that unlikely of a name.

Lin or Lyn West - I put two different spelling variations here but both work. It's a very unisex name which is great and it also follows the family trend of recycling names. I like this one because it's a tribute to Linda and Linda's side of the family (for once).

Parker West - I think it'd be a neat tribute to Linda's maiden name and Linda's side of the family. Also Parker is a cute name.

Jas West: Linda's middle name is Jasmine. I want a kid named after Linda's side goddammit.

Jesse West - HEAR ME OUT!!!! Wally and Linda's best friend???? Jesse Hathaway. Wally's pseudo sister???? Jesse Chambers. It's a double tribute people!!!!! Its honoring two people in one name!!! That's double the honor!!! Also it'd be funny if there was a Jesse Hathaway, Jesse Chambers, Jess Chambers and a Jesse West.

Joe West: No, stop. It's actually not what you think. I know you see Joe West and think of the CW Joe West but that's actually not what I'm going for at all. I'm looking for a genderflipped 'Joan' name and I think Joe is the closest thing. They can't have kids named Jai and Joan, it's the Barry and Iris thing all over again. But Jai and Joe??? That's doable.

Joanie West: Look it might still be weird but I think it's a different enough name that you don't think about the married couple when you hear it. Also I think Joan deserves a kid named after her for everything she's done.

Thoughts on the third West child? Thoughts on baby names? Here's a thought I just had: What if it's twins again holy shit

#the flash #wally west #dc #dc comics #linda park

[ackerslut]

Eugene and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Scavenger Hunt

Prompt: Family II ao3

Eugene is having a perfectly pleasant morning when Varian’s pointy nosed boyfriend bursts into the kitchen like his ass is on fire.

It isn't- Eugene checks twice because there HAD been an unfortunate incident concerning Hugo and some fireworks that haunt Corona to this day and then he has to mentally slap himself for inadvertently checking out Hugo’s flat ass. 

“EUGENE!” Hugo shouts and that's when Eugene knows that it's going to be a Day.  Pointy never calls him Eugene, it's always Fitzherbert or class traitor. 

“Hugo,” Eugene says back, calmly stirring his carrot soup. 

(He thinks it's carrot soup. No telling what the palace cook puts in their meals these days. But it's orange and tastes salty so. Carrots.) 

“You're looking unusually…” he squints. “Athletic.” 

Hugo is red to the face and out of breath. His wide eyes narrow. “Varian’s gone,” he yells into the mostly empty kitchen. 

Fladkis and Victor, both part of the morning kitchen staff, don't even blink in their direction. Eugene supposed that after the past five years shenanigans, it would take something a bit more serious than one of the palace alchemist misplacing his boyfriend to faze them. 

“Have you checked-”

Yes.” 

Eugene shoves another spoonful of soup into his mouth. “You don't even know what I was going to say.” 

“I've checked everywhere.” Hugo’s right eye is twitching disturbingly. “He’s been kidnapped.”

How the turntables, Eugene thinks with no little amusement. As a former kidnapper himself, there were very few people who could manage to get the drop on Varian. In fact, the only person Eugene can recall who has is Cassandra. Who barely counts because she was hopped up on rock juice and evil ghost wizards. Wizard ghosts. Creepy girl children. 

Whatever.

“That,” Eugene says, “is very unlikely.”

“I know. That's why I'm worried.” Hugo glares at him. “Are you gonna help me or not?” he demands which is how Eugene ends up spending his morning traipsing through the forest in the sweltering summer heat. 

“Really, Rapunzel is the better candidate for this,” Eugene says- even though he’s relatively renowned when it comes to finding lost things. Ha. 

“You wanna tell Queen Rapunzel that her baby brother got kidnapped by bandits the day before his birthday?” Hugo deadpans. He pushes a branch out of the way and almost smacks Eugene in the face when he lets go of it. “I like my eardrums intact, thank you.” 

He reluctantly has to admit that Hugo has a point. Although Rapunzel is more prone to silent anger than shout-y anger. 

But Hugo’s neck is burning pink and he’s studiously avoiding Eugene’s eyes, which immediately makes him…suspicious. 

“There-” Hugo points to a note painted in…blood? blood on the Snuggly Ducklings street sign. 

HELP!!! -varian.

And just over the “i” in “varian” there's a squiggly heart. Eugene is going to strangle this kid. 

“He's fucking with you.”

“That's what I thought, but look!” Hugo points at the ground. Two pairs of tracks that abruptly turns into one and a following indent in the ground that could be a body being dragged. Maybe. 

Eugene looks at the stupid note. Walks toward and runs his finger over the drying red. It's raspberry juice. 

“DON'T LICK IT!” Hugo screeches, loud enough to be heard in Koto. 

“It's berry juice.” 

Hugo visibly deflates. “Oh,” he says and looks so relieved that Eugene flushes in embarrassment. Pointy will not make him feel feelings today goddammit. 

“When did you see him last?” Eugene asks instead. 

“This morning. At dawn.” Pointy is flustered all of the sudden and you know what? Eugene doesn't want to know.  “Did he say anything…?”

If anything, Hugo looks more embarrassed. “Uhm.”

“About where he was going or what he was gonna do today?”

“Scavenger hunt,” Hugo says through his teeth and then turns darker red. 

Honestly if this kid turns another pigment in the next five minutes he's gonna die of…something. Nothing pretty and then Eugene’s gonna have to explain to Varian that his boyfriend died via blushed too hard. 

“Scavenger hunt,” Eugene feels like he's missing something. “What kind of-” 

“It's a thing we do for…his birthday and stuff. He leaves a bunch of clues and I solve them.” 

That sounds incredibly boring, but also something Varian would be into. The solving part, not the leaving shit around for Hugo to find. “Why are you getting the fun part when it's his birthday?” 

Hugo scowls. “None of your business. Look, can you just help me find him, please?” 

Finding him seems to be more troublesome than Eugene had been bargaining for. Turns out their little “scavenger quest” was more in the vein of “hide and seek: the bandit edition which rapidly turns into “hide and seek: CULT edition” when they finally stumble upon the lair Varian is—presumably—being held in. 

“We don’t know that it’s a cult,” Pointy whispers, face smushed against Eugene’s arm where he’s trying to lean in. The cave entrance doesn’t allow for a lot of room and Eugene is the Superior Adult Here, so he gets to see what’s happening first.

“They’re wearing robes.”

“Doesn’t mean they’re a cult!”

They turn the corner and find themselves in a massive room with a stone alter in the center bracketed by torches. There’s five people in white robes holding hands and chanting. Eugene gives Hugo a flat expression.

“Aw fuck.”

Varian is tied down to the stone alter, shrieking so loudly it's a wonder they didn't hear him from miles away. Eugene decides to be amused rather than furious that cultists choose him of all people to be part of their ritual sacrifice. 

“Nice robe,” he tells Varian, and is confused when Hugo lets out an embarrassed squeak. “They give those out for free?”

“We do not,” says Cultist #3, hands on her hips, instead of, like, attacking him and Hugo when they entered the room. 

And then Eugene realizes that Varian is NAKED underneath the nice satin robe and that he now had to kill everyone in this room. 

“YOU MADE HIM GET NAKED FOR YOUR RITUAL?!” he shrieks. Hugo begins rapidly shaking his head and making cut off motions across his neck, but no one pays him any mind. 

One of the cultists squints at him. “Uh, he was like this when we found him.” 

Varian abruptly stops struggling. “Oh SHIT,” he says- the first phrase that isn't I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU I COULD DO IT I ONCE BLEW UP CORONA WITH A MURDER MACHINE out of Varian’s mouth since they found him. “Eugene stop thinking,” he orders, eyes big as dinner saucers but it's too late. 

“HUGO WAS YOUR SCAVENGER HUNT A SEX THING.”

Cultist #2 and #3 exchange a glance. 

“NO!” Hugo screeches back at approximately the same volume. Varian thunks his head back against the stupid stone alter like he’s trying to knock himself into a different dimension via brain damage. 

Cultist #1—and Eugene has him labeled as #1 because he’s the one with the sword (not because he’s tall, dark and intimidatingly handsome, that would be ridiculous)—scowls. 

“He’s supposed to be a virgin, idiots!” he yells at Cultists #2 and #3 respectively, who in turn look sheepish. 

“It’s weird to ask people that!” 

“Now we have to start from scratch!” 

“Nobody’s starting from scratch!” Eugene can feel a stress headache coming on top of the stress headache that was already aggravating his Hugo-induced migraine. Why is Eugene’s family like this. 

He draws his sword. “I’ll take care of the ho—uh, the tall one,” he tells Hugo, “you take care of the others.” 

Predictably, Hugo’s definition of “taking care of the others” is to throw his beanstalk body straight at them. This is the guy that Varian wants. 

“Oh my gods, that was hot,” Varian says, eyes wide as Hugo squawks and kicks Cultist #4 in the face from where he’s slumped against the wall, upside-down. Eugene is going to have to invest in a healer to melt his brain when this is all over. 

He quickly disarms his opponent and knocks him out. Once they see that their leader is out of commission, the other cultists surrender hilariously quickly. 

“Honestly, the sex thing kinda bummed me out for the whole thing anyway,” Cultist #5 said, holding his hands out obediently for Eugene to bind. “Like there’s just some shit you don’t wanna know.”

Eugene grits his teeth. “Can we stop talking about this?” he snaps, over Hugo saying, “you weren’t supposed to get kidnapped for real! I can’t have celebratory sex over rescuing you when I’m having heart palpitations, Goggles.” 

“Consider this, Hugo. I’m tied down to a ritualistic alter.”

Eugene wants to die. He lifts the hot, unconscious cultist up and over his shoulder and motions for the other one’s to follow. They don’t even protest, wanting to get as far away from whatever the fuck those two having going on. 

“I’m taking them back to the castle,” he says, over his shoulder. Varian is giving what Eugene assumes is his version of…bedroom eyes?! Oh GOD. And Hugo is biting his lip and—

You know what, Eugene has had enough family bonding for the day. 

#effingvarigoweek #varigo #eugene fitzherbert #hugo vat7k #varian the alchemist #varian tts #tangled the series #varian and the seven kingdoms #vat7k #my fanfic

[circle-girls-tower]

These new paws were very handy for getting berries off of bushes and fruits off of tress...but that's all they seemed good for, really. Her fur kept getting tangled in everything. It wasn't close to her body at all. And her legs were awful for walking now! At least the front two. Somehow she could stand on her hind legs and not lose balance.

But she could hear so much. She could hear anything she wanted. Even make others hear it too! She made other animals hear bear roars and scare them off. It was so much fun watching birds fly into trees as she made them hear rain and thunder. Then there was the cries of the other animal that got caught in the rainstorm. The one she kinda looked like now.

"Goddammit I hit my leg back there fuck—"

What a strange animal, to have so many cries. But with some practice, she felt that she could make those noises. Just took some movements of her throat, making her tongue and lips move in strange ways. But she could make them herself.

Then one day, there were more creatures like that one. And they made even more sounds. Could these things exist outside of rain and thunder? Maybe that would make them feel better, if they heard what was natural to them.

So very casually walking up to them, she made them hear lots and lots of wind and rain and thunder. Every single variation she could think off, she flung out there. At once they flinched, and started to run away! No, no no no...maybe if she made some of their sounds herself-

"I leg fuck goddammit! Back fuck hit!"

But they just kept running away...

...but why...?

#Hatsuyo

[garbagefarm]

Garbage Farm (#42)

2023-03-17, Garbage Farm session #42 (I think), spanning from Summer 4 Year 4 to Summer 15 Year 4

Cast:

me (@mothmute )

E.B. (@salamand3rin)

Kimi (@2kimi2furious)

Highlights include, but are not limited to:

Alex is gonna start reading books and be a nerd now, to everybody’s horror

we’re out of wood!

Pierre called, says he has “the finest” seeds and produce

what produce is that, pierre??

Robin finished Pam and Penny’s new house!!

she spends some time rambling about the woodworking

we choose not to take credit, causing Pam to refer to their anonymous donors as “pure angels”

Robin evidently tells everybody anyway, ‘cause everybody seems to know.

“snitches get stitches, robin!”

Frucko isn’t visible in E.B.’s version of the cutscene, so she just sees me running around and doing a little hop

Should I buy shortcuts for $300,000? yolo

Harvey is nowhere to be found, it’s E.B.’s turn for garbage marital strife :(

We forgot to remind Kimi to make the fancy purple shorts

Haley sleeps through rock time when Kimi goes to use Emily’s sewing machine

Lewis is now afraid of and mad at Kimi

The ducks keep taunting us by going up to the edge of the pond ... and stopping.

Shane wants garbage money too, now, goddammit Robin

Speaking of Robin, she’s now hitting a cliffside with her hammer in the middle of the night

BIG WINE MONEY

Kimi likes jumpscaring Lewis

Marnie just giggles about it

I get caught with iron crumbs all over my face.........

(There was a train but I missed it)

Robin mailed me some wood, I guess she realized we direly needed more (we always need more wood)

New cows, Jumbus and Zartino

Kimi says Stardew’s random animal names are “so cursed”

I begin breaking down the keg-shed, but hitting each keg is taking forever

hey, what if I just set off a bomb to break them? I’m so smart :)

OH NO IT DELETED THEM I AM NOT SMART THIS IS A DISASTER

lmao RIP me, laughing about it is the only way to keep from crying

Emily mailed me a sea urchin!!

We were talking before the session about somebody marrying Emily just to get her very special hat, only to give it to a sea urchin — this is approval!!

Worst part of making new kegs is gonna be getting enough oak resin, so I plant a buttload of oak up by the train station

ugh I’m gonna have to make extra tappers...

(it’s my fuckup, I can take responsibility for it)

A rare crow is spotted on garbage farm, eating the fiber field.

I start buying my way out of my mistakes (specifically: iron, copper, some wood, some stone, some extra coal)

Kimi borrows Frucko

Alex and Harvey both want to know what their spouses are gonna put in the soup. I guess they haven’t been initiated into that level of the Garbage Mysteries

Starting another pond, I get a special line about how Robin’ll start the day after tomorrow, since she always takes festivals off. I don’t think I’ve seen that before, it’s a nice touch!

okay, I made a bunch of extra tappers

Luau day!!

The melons are ready, but we can leave those for the day after

Everybody is at the luau except for Pizza :(

Every year, the Governor says this is the best soup he’s ever had—

is our soup getting better every year? is the governor a liar??

“maybe he’s forgetful” shhhh my theories are more fun

“maybe he goes around complimenting towns’ soups”

“maybe it’s a new governor every year, they replace the old one with a clone”

The Bloobening!

(ask not for whom the berry bloobs; it bloobs for thee)

Witchcraft?? In Garbage Farm???

(it’s just a void egg, we’ve got void eggs at home)

more cows, Bollello and Matchu

This is not good weather for sports!

Kimi visits the desert for fashion!

(dweeb fashion, she gets suspenders)

“we got oak resin?”

... actually, no!

Kimi stays up crafting in the shed and dies.

Marlon says he found her face-down in the mud ... in our shed.

???

E.B. tries to pick up some batteries near the desert obelisk and gets sent to the desert, good thing there’s a bus

“who’s watering the fiber? you don’t need to”

I think it’s Elliott, actually!

starting to tap the new oak

I suggest a garbage derby someday

KEG TUNNEL is starting to come online......!

TO-DO:

fix my mistake ;_;

more kegs, also more preserves jars

Finish Kimi’s Hoe

if it isn’t finished already

Even more ponds??

We’re gonna need so many sea urchins

still need a big melon......

I mean I guess worst case scenario we leave the cauliflower up and try again next summer, right?

still need to venture deeper into skulls............

still need a prismatic shard for the museum???

#garbage farm #stardew valley

[tsuki-sennin]

Oh what's this!? A double-stuffed deluxe serving of PreCure, served at late night! 25 and 26! We're goin' out into the woods! And make a new nemesis, but such is life! And in Episode 26? Who knows~! But with a title like "Kokone's Promise! Challenging King Green Pepper" I think this might be a simple one.

Spoilers, I guess...

This is a long boi btw, figured you'd like to know.

-Ohayo, Yuin~!

-Yeah kicked ass two weeks ago, huh?

-That's definitely a Delicioustone, but what we buildin', Narshe?

-Spiritoru?

-Bundoru bundoru?

-Holy shit he made a robot.

-Nikoniko? Nico Nico Nii?

-Alright ladies, I realize there's quite a natural bounty before us, but don't take chances with mushrooms and unfamiliar berries, eh?

-They put shades on the fox.

-The dog and dragon too!

-Oh Mari-chan, you too?

-Guess Kokone would feel nervous. I can't imagine she's spent much time so far away from an urban setting.

-Oh fuck

-Ghoast!

-To be fair, ghosts are kinda real in other PreCure titles.

-What a nice town!

-I see the soundtrack's followed us here, hmm?

-"Fuck it, I can't find my way around here, I'm gonna set this whole forest on fire."

-Alriiiight, let's go!

-Koko-neechan!

-Y'know, for a murder ghost robot, Spiritoru seems like a pretty swell chap.

-Spin the tent!

-We used to play this game a lot in elementary school.

-No pot!

-It's okay, I know a dealer~!

-...Takumicchi, did you run here!?

-Oh, Minato-san.

-"Goddammit, I have to wake up early..."

-Listen to Amai-kaichou. Having a meal out here in such a beautiful campground as this would be perfect!

-Ooooooh, paella~!

-Oooooh, a seafood paella~!

-No fire, huh?

-Well, can't really blame them. Most of the fires I usually start are by accident.

-My grandmother said this... "If you wish it to be so, luck will always be on your side."

-Ranchi, my girl.

-Hooray! Fire!

-Spoooooky happenings!

-Oh, a thicc boi, huh?

-Ranchi got Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen's number 1 hat.

-There was a thicc boi!

Ran-Ran: He was the Eggman! Takumi: He was the Eggman? Amane: He was the Walrus!? Goo goo g'joob!?

-"Dinner's ready, bitches!"

-Oh shit, Narshe's building up.

-Y'know Seccy, I'd probably like you a lot more if you actually did something!

-Oh shit, Spiritoru face reveal.

-I love him already.

-Ooooh, a whole barbecue goin' on!

-Recibepis

-"Fuck, my clout!"

-And just like that, Takumicchi takes his leave.

-Ahhhh, c'mon lad!

-Recipeppi, hellooooo!

-Don-Don! Iitotokomkke! Oh wait, wrong series

-Cubed meat?

-Is he... spoiling the eat?

-"Is he a fucking robot. That's cringe."

-As a recently converted Ruru Amour stan, your distaste is noted, Rosemary.

-"Ohhhhh, the famous Pretty Cures!"

-Oh shit, he's got a wrench!

-I see, so an Ubau-zo doesn't have to be strictly a kitchen tool, eh?

-I kinda knew that, but feels weird to see this used.

-"On behalf of my Dad, I will beat you up!"

-What should I call you, Spiritoru? I like you, I'd hate to be mean to you the way I am to Narshe and ambivalent like I am to Seccy...

-"Ganbare! Ganbare! U-Bau-Zo!"

-One of my favorite villain archetypes is the "Surprisingly strong comic relief", so I'm definitely having fun with Spiritoru. He's got such a banger design, I love him.

-"You meatbag humans don't get it! Why eat when you can recharge!?"

-That's it, Yuin, punch that gigantic solid metal monster thing.

-Don't stop on our account Precious!

-"Nisen Kilocalorie Punch!"

-Unit conversion tells me 2000 Kilocalories is equivalent to 8368 kilojoules. 2 kilos worth of of TNT!

-GIrl's got a lot of power behind those punches.

-We did it! The barbecue has been saved!

-What a nice guy he is!

-Men need their beauty sleep just as much as men do!

-Ah, old maid! I kick ass at this game, deal me in!

-Gotta water your mind for your

-Oooooooh, that starscape is very nicely drawn.

-Kokone episode, hell yeah!

-Well, I'll see you all next time when I see Kokone talk about green peppers.

-.

-Next time, let's go!

-Mmm... Spiritoru, Spiritoru...

-Supi-kun?

-Supi-kun, definitely.

-Oh shoot, there's nobody who can make Delicioustones huh?

-...I have to ask though... what exactly is Supi-kun doing to the food by capturing the Recipepsiman?

-Like, Gentle fucked up the flavor and ruins everybody's meals. I can see how this can completely fuck over a restaurant's reputation and how Amane would feel guilty over this.

-Narshe steals memories associated with certain foods, and we saw first hand how that can hurt a person and how tragic it'd be to lose a cherished memory.

-All we've seen Supi-kun do is cube meat. I can see why having something like that happen to you while you're eating dinner would frazzle you, but the food seems otherwise just fine.

-"Fuck it, lunchbreak!"

-Oooooh, I love green peppers!

-God, stuffed with cheese and baked, or chopped up into a salsa, or cut up with beef in steak fajitas...

-I should pull a Shinichi Saruhara and imagine myself some of my favorite dishes after this. It's super late at night and it'd take way too long to cook, and I don't even think we have the ingredients...

-Kome-Kome's suffering is incalculable.

-Kokone, a hardened veteran of the Pepper Wars.

-I will save you, Kone-Kone.

-I mean, Koko-meechan.

-Koko-Koko

-I used to be a pretty picky eater as a kid. I don't know exactly how I grew out of it, but nowadays I usually try to recognize ingredients I like and how they fit into the bigger picture of the dish.

-Takumicchi's dad has the right idea! Introducing them as components to something you do like.

-Oh, Takkun!

-...Takkun...

-Ah, sorry, uh... "Takkun" is a nickname reserved for somebody else, in my heart.

-Yeah, help us out!

-Hide the bitterness.

-Green peppers in a pound cake?

-I'm a big carrot cake guy, but... how on earth?

-Is Yui one of those moms who'd try to bake brussel sprouts into brownies?

-"Nooooo, Kokone! They'll murder you!"

-King Green Pepper seem a charitable and courteous capsicum.

-He and his other bell pepper kin actually register at a solid zero on the Scoville scale, so if he proves too much for you, the name "Cure Spicy" will unfortunately prove to be wasted on you, Kokone.

-"Yo Godatz, I'm the new guy!"

-"NOOOO DON'T TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT YOU FOOL! YOU LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER WHILE SHE'S TALKING TO YOU!"

-I think I'm liking Seccy more and more now jhkjlh

-Eat the food, fox girl!

-"HOLY SHIT WHAT WHY IS SHE SO BIG"

-"...Fack."

-Oh wow, she bonked.

-C'mon Koko-neechan, be a big girl! This is... honestly very embarassing!

-Good evening, DILF Butler!

-Yeah, you at least attempted, huh?

-Y'know, there's quite a bit of what I personally read as neurodivergent subtext to Kokone's character, so I get where she's coming from with this.

-Hell, my distaste for non-fried shrimp even has a similar origin to hers.

-Let's just say there's a very good reason why you devein and remove the shells from them. No amount of thorough cooking will undo that pain.

-Dish washin' time.

-"IF THAT BITCH DOESN'T EAT THESE FUCKING PEPPERS I AM GOING TO SHIT"

-Y'know, maybe Narshe should've installed a GPS in Supi-kun. Probably would've helped.

-Whomst

-Ooooh, that pepper is a thicc boi

-That shot of Pam-Pam hiding in the peppers is honestly super adorable.

-Friends with the peppers!

-The secret ingredient is always love.

-Oooooh, that's tantalizing...

-"Pepper Detected."

-Don Don! Toru Toru! Bundoru!

-Takumicchi, you gotta breathe better man!

-Pepper flavored curry and rice! Smoked turkey and pepper jack panini! Bell pepper udon stir fry! Bell peppers are botanically fruits because their seeds are on the inside of the pods!

-Delicious Party Pepper Cure!

-Oh yeah, you're technically not that kinda pepper, huh Blackpep?

-Man, Supi-kun's way better at monster design than his Dad.

-Hmmm... part of me wonders if Narshe intentionally programmed him to have this kind of conflict?

-"For fuck's sake, just eat your goddamn peppers, kids!"

-Crusty Bread Barrier!

-Daaaamn, Kokone opening fire on her own.

-You go girl!

-Humans do a lot of things, Supi-kun.

-Don't look back Takumicchi, just run!

-Hell yeah, we've recovered!

-Oh god that mouth shot

-That was unneccesary

-Pepper Steak! From hit indie RPG Maker game off!

-Mmmmmm...

-I thoroughly enjoyed both of these episodes as usual. Not a lot left for me to say, other than "Goddammit, I need to imagine those peppers right fucking now."

-Now, if you would excuse me... Join me when I wake up for Kamen Rider Geats, Episode 1! And on Saturday! With episode 27 of this show~!

-Episode 27!

-RANCHI EPISODE

-Lot of Kome-Kome focus, huh?

-...Oh god, she's gonna fucking morb.

-Anyways, look forward to that, this has been way too fucking long~!

#if you receive a little kindness give them a large serving! #precure #pretty cure #delicious party pretty cure #delicious party precure #depapre

[silvermuffins]

Pokemon Scarlet Livblog! Part 7!

I have a goal of accomplishing three objectives in one part. Also the war with my E ky ragees on.

We lft off at thee Levincia lighthouse! oh tumblr is glitching.

A random trainer battle was like "Hey! Wanna buy this?" and I felt sure I was about to b faced with a poke-mlm scheme or a cryptobro.

Anyway, Rolycoly. Gonna name you Lizard. I actually want to complete the dex in this game, it's insane. Chank the Cufant. Plyfon the Voltorb. Oh! A Varoom! You'r Ponk now.

Picnic....which of cours mans naptime. Oh my gosh Pebbles sleeps on top of her hammer. She also now gets mad if I try to clean it. Today w are making a fruit bonanza sandwich, with lots of banana, and also...strawberry, apple, kiwi, pineapple. And whipped cream, marmelade, jam, and butter. Barely held together, the game was glitching graphically, and i lost a berry, but i got it!

special fire tera kirlia! with volt absorb...oooh. Now how to catch without killing...fuck i need to hope. OKay I broke tera. Crit capture! Okay! You're Palermo!

heey Arven tell me about the local Beast. oh hey he's being nicr about Koraidon. Okay, i found an exit (there is a cave too step to walk into)...there's a distinct Area in front of m and supposeedly thre's an amazing pokemon here but my marker's a ways west...

Well. I definitely see whre the herb hollow is gonna be. ?!?! Holy shit, shooting stars?!

one break for some christmas shopping latr, w're back! And I think I found the titan. Man from up on the watchtower this whole area is caves. Orthworm?! Don't mind Jupe oneshotting it. Twice.

Okay! Time to be sad again! As pr usual Koraidon want snac. Arven is getting less angy. Ooh! I get More Jump, thank god! So the remaining two are "climb stuff" and "glide", neat.

HELP ARVEN IS SO CUTE once again sada how do you know. Actually how does Arven keeep knowing when I'm somewhere near a titan? Nemona is stalking m and Cassiopeia has a tracker in my phone, but Arven and Sada...

Excellent, got into a battle with an Orthworm. Your name is Nood. Excellent, Ankles is volving, can swap out for Chonkster. FOUND GOOMY. Finoo.

I have reached Zapapico! Gonna take down Atticus soon....once I decide which Pokemon to use for that. Poison, so I want steel and ground... Town explored, found Torkoal! Kettelmint. What's this? Glimmet? You'll b Dohrts. Aaaa so many caves around here! Where am I now?'

sir if your baby is due any day now WHY AR YOU IN A HOLE OKAY i think I'v xplord almost vry hol in the ground. Now then. Atticus. I mean, Pebbles is a must, Sotero is a shoe-in, too. Daya hasn't done much in a while and will have levels if nothing else.

oh yah Clive is here. Kind of wish these cutscenes didn't move me, I am lost again. Love that you can se the trees all graffiti'd up. Oh goddammit you're a Zorua? I thought you were an Impidimp! Oh well. Oh fuck you the Oranguru is a Zorua too??? Okay YOU'RE a real Impidimp! Hraivin! And a real Oranguru, running into a wall for some reason. you're Galatz.

Found the base! Oh no, there's a kid. Listen to the kid, my guy, he seems to know what's up. ...awww this is the gamer base? KID WHO ARE YOU. ???? HY CLIVE NO I want in on the chitchat!

Navi squad....playing video games.... They totally named themselves after a certain fairy, didn't they. Ooh, atticus designed their outfits? And he's a bit of a maverick...

Oh my god this nerd. Oh my god he's in fucking cosplay. And now the car. ...wait h actually sent out a Pokmon it's not JUST the car this time? It's clearly the same Pokemon that's ON th car...maybe this is a bug. Or is that just...a diffrent Revavroom? Bc now Muk...okay yah it was a different Revavroom. This is a war of attrition.

oh....that's what h looks like under there. What a handsome fellow. such pretty eyes.....and of course, he was bullied. I LOVE THESE KIDS......i want to protect them.

ok no seriously can i just defeat all five bases and be the new boss and take over the world i don't want to destroy their safe space

so Team Star made it so a lot of bullied kids could go back to school... No big boss means no tam star means no good going back to school. Nobody has actually sen or met the big boss? Cassiopeia grows more and more sus.

A bullied recluse. Penny???

yeah mr director you're pretty out of touch

i am Hurting

Yes, Cassiopeia. Enlighten me. What are we aiming to achieve? Take down the big boss, okay, I could have guessed that. There has to be more to this. OKAY everything is good now Penny is here!

Taking the big boss down will protect Penny's treasure...

Alright. Next....i ascend the peak, tackle the ghost gym, then had south for the psychic. Then I'll do the desert titan and Eri's squad...then it's just ice, fairy, and dragon, thn the capstones to each plot.

Okay I have consulted the Nebula and I am gonna approach Icefuck Mountain from the west. Which is Medali. i have the correct west this time. Once we download an update.

Found a Cetoddle oh my gosh look at it. Baby. ...o.o okay so i just watched the baby eat a vigoroth. So, your name will be Slotheater.

ah heck that's probably my worst sandwich yet...oh this is not where I'm meant to be. OH I FOUND A DITTO. You'll be Fred. Okay now we are properly en route to the ghost gym! I have also been advised to do Ortega before Eri so we're doing it that way now. TOEDSCOOL i am not going to kill it this time! You're gonna be Hogus.

Got it~ Okay and then we go up icefuck mountain, because it just isn't an rpg without at least one icefuck mountain. Chonkstr finally evolved, we'll get a level on Vani before we swap out. Next we need...sunkern, kricketot, and rookidee, then happiny, since som of those will happen real quick. Bob is only here to fill my dex so I'm using a sun stone right away. The rookidee is going to take a while, though...okay that's the cricket, so it'll be Happiny next.

There's Sunny's evolution! Now just gotta befriend this brat and level up and she'll evolve again. ...oh that was fast, turns out three baths and a yummy sammich will do it. So Azurill is next! Let's try the same techniqu for friendship....

I JUST FOUND SIX EGGS IN MY BASKET AT ONCE?

Okay Balto has evolved once, and Orb will be an Azumarill in no time....if it ver warms up to me. Hm. Happiny went much faster. THERE we go. One more level and Azumarill. doot! I don't hav a Surskit, never went back for on, so nxt is Buizel. And I think i'll actually start heading up Icefuck Mountain now.

OKAY up th airy mountain down th rushy glen! Nanze the.....first ice typ Jupe dosn't murdr. Snover. Mechalli the Sneasel. Koeagal the Cubchoo. Havdy the Bergmite. Camdycor the Snorunt. Tachulca the Delibird.

Oh, sure, THAT'S a safe place to be (on a narrow cliff, over about a million foot drop, in a blizzard, cornred by a floatzel)

aaaaaaa this cliff doesn't go anywhere

[ALL SCREAMING]

it's fine we're fine

AAAAAAA I FELL OFF A DIFFERENT CLIFF

what is tatsugiri it's strong wait is that th psudo

im gonna name you Maya. Ooh and here's a boy to name Tatsuya, because I am An Nerd. I think this is yt anothr version? nope it is not. Oh but THIS is! This on can b Lisa.

wherever th hll I am is th prettiest picnic spot. One horrifically spicy sammich later...

there is a cav hre...what's inside? Pokemon. Frigibax. You can be Zartd. Oops nvermind, you faintd and thre isn't another here. Ah! Mermert volved! Swapped for Psyduck. Whoa, hello Hawlucha! Annnd it died. Found anothr one you can b Rhumbacho.

We are going to fly back to Glaseado's Grasp bc otherwise im stuck here...thr's a wild flaron just chillin here....oops i killd it. Gonna ned this lady snorunt. Zaleet.

How the hell do I gt where I'm going??? Oh well. This femal Glaceon could be my tickt to more eeveelutions. You'll thusly b Mamedar

I MADE IT. Oooh, hypr training is back? oh! this sushi place has an xclusiv menu! Whether or not I accomplish my third objcetive today depends entirly one the gym test.

#letty plays pokemon scarlet #letty plays shit #livebloggin #had to delete som sntencs #apparently tumblr has a lngth limit

[jlf23tumble]

Harry or Mary Berry: The Resurrection (1/??)

About a year or so ago, I created the masterpost of masterposts for @iampackratseemehoard because I adore their thrifting game, “Harry or Mary Berry,” beyond all reason. (It is as it says: go to a thriftshop, find the wildest shirt you can find, and try to determine if it’s better suited for Harry or Mary Berry (or in the best of all cases, both).) 

But then tumblr purge 1.0 happened, and I deleted it because it contained a lot of ~questionable copyright material, and I’ve regretted it ever since because I lost all the pictures/text I had under the cut. What a thing of joy and beauty in a dumb, cruel world! Why can’t we have nice things??? But here’s why messaging a blog directly pays off: @joyfullyswimminghottub wrote and asked me where it went, and I love a good procrastination task as much as the next person, so I’m bringing it back! I have way too many to put into a single post, so you can blame @justlarried for the suggestion of splitting them up. I’ll start today’s batch with the ones that survived the purge because they lived above the fold...more to come soon!

The more you compare these two style icons, the harder "Harry or Mary Berry” is to play…they’re both tremendous clothes horses who adore color, and they aren’t afraid to step outside the comfort zone of their respective cohorts (editor’s note: I wrote this before ambiguous grandparent Harry Styles doubled down on comfort clothing, lol).

God, where to start, but this is probably one of my favorite side by sides (no comment on their collaring choices):

One of the absolute best kinds of florals = dark florals, and I’m not surprised that they both look fab in it. I have a friend who insists that these are called winter florals?? whatevs, gaze at this perfection (editor’s note: I’ll do a gucci dark floral later):

The craziest thing I learned as I pulled this post together is how much Mary Berry loves stars, I mean, there are literally dozens of pictures of her in different starry jumpers, but I like this pairing the best (sorry for cutting off the cheese grater, Mazza…and your arm, Hazza):

I want justice for Harry’s suit, and I have it in the form of Mary Berry wearing something pretty damned similar:

Both of them ADORE pink, so picking just one for each was kind of a chore...you’ll see more later:

I never want to cause more scroll rage than I already do, so I’ll dole out the rest in the days ahead. If you want to send me suggestions, go for it, but I guarantee you, you’re in for a treat!! I adore these two!

#harry styles #mary berry #harry or mary berry #part one #masterpost #i won't do links in the future so people can find them #goddammit tumblr is a pain in my fucking ass

[outivv]

— “Fine… I’ll take pity on you.” —

Synopsis: when everyone’s else refused him he turned to you, his crush to try his… experimental food.

Warnings: minor swearing, lilia’s cooking (/j), food, and not proofread

Game/ fandom: twisted wonderland

Characters: jade, and Lilia

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: when everyone hates their cooking for some reason <3

— Jade —

“Now don’t take this the wrong way… but why did everyone refuse to try this?” You asked looking at the casserole before you. Jade had made you his little test subject for all the dishes he tried, mostly because everyone else refused, still weary of mushrooms since… he made the entire menu and mostro lounge mushrooms. The horror.

But, now you, the ever so nice prefect that he has fallen head over heels for, is now his little mouse to experiment on. Okay it’s just that bad, but who knows! The mushrooms in this casserole could be poisonous OoOoo. “I’m honestly not so sure…” jade said in response, clearly lying. But he has that look. His eyes pleading, with his brows upturned, and his usual smile. Goddammit , that look gets you every time. It’s like he has puppy dog eyes… but the eel version. Eel eyes. (Don’t look that up I actually got jumpscared)

You sighed, trying the price of casserole that he had for you. Surprisingly? Not bad. Actually pretty good. Wow… this is… wow. What the hell is in this thing??? It’s so good your mouth was practically watering. You are that price of casserole so fast, jade blinked and it was gone! He chuckled, “was it good?” You look at him, a crumb of casserole stick to the side of your mouth, “it was delicious!” Jade smiled tenderly at you, reaching to wipe the crumb off your face, sending butterflies through your stomach. Gah! He was so… dreamy sometimes, and the worst part is he knows it! Pretty boy knows he’s good at cooking, and a dreamy bastard.

— Lilia —

“C’mon you just have to take a bite!” Lilia said holding out a plate of… food? It looked more like someone’s ashes, Maxie’s with some berries to make it look somewhat edible. However, that clearly plan failed. “Uh… Lilia I.., no. I’m not putting that into my body.” You responded feeling sick just look at… whatever was on the plate.

Lilia pouted, looking like a kicked dog, “Oh come now, it’s not that bad, here!” He suddenly shoved a form full of the burnt… dust, into your mouth. It was awful, unsurprisingly. “Lilia what is this?!” You said, literally wiping your young as whatever he just fed you felt like sandpaper. “I actually don’t know!” He responded cheery now, much different from his pouting just a minute ago. “You’re Lucky you’re cute.” You said wiping your mouth, shooting him a sharp glare,

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst fluff #twisted wonderland fluff #twst jade #twst Lilia #twisted wonderland jade #twisted wonderland Lilia #jade #Lilia #jade leech #lilia vanrouge #jade x reader #lilia x reader #jade fluff #lilia fluff #jade headcanons #lilia headcanons #jade x y/n #lilia x y/n #jade x you #Lilia x you #jade leech x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #jade leech x you #lilia vanrouge x you #jade leech x y/n #Lilia vanrouge x y/n

[caffeineforbucky]

The Things We Left Behind

Synopsis: It'd been years since you've seen Frank Castle; let alone spoken to him but, one night while working at Nelson and Murdock; you get an unexpected visitor.

(set before the punisher gets introduced in daredevil)

Pairing: Frank Castle x reader

Warnings: soft angst, profanity, some fluff...maybe?

Special thanks to @firefly-graphics for the text divider(s), doing God's work ppl.

A/N: I have recently been binge-watching The Punisher and lemme tell ya...Frank Castle can punish me any day...Jk. (Or not) I noticed that there aren't enough punisher fics on this website, and I decided to take matters into my own hands and write one. Please Enjoy!

Working in the city had its pros and cons. None of which you particularly enjoyed but, you didn't loathe them either. As opposed to the crime and violence that went on—the quiet nights at Nelson and Murdock were something to appreciate.

It was a late night in the office, the steam from your third cup of coffee clouding the lenses of your reading glasses as you took a sip—traces of berries and cloves gracing your taste buds.

"I'm heading out," Karen Page voices firmly, your eyes flickering to meet her judgemental gaze. You knew she didn't like when you stayed in the office by yourself but, no one was going to proofread your case but you. "You good to lock up after you're done?"

You set the mug down, flashing her a smile intertwined with tired eyes. "Yes, Kare," You respond, nodding your head along. "It isn't the first time, and I'm sure it won't be the last."

Karen sends you a tip of her head, tapping the frame of the door before she disappears down the hall—the sound of her heels still evident, even with the cheap carpets throughout the building.

You blow out a tired sigh, brushing your hair back with your fingers as you read over the file for the third time—trying to understand how your client was convicted of murder without evidence. Sure, they were the only ones at the scene, and law enforcement had nothing else to go off but, you trusted Matt's judgment when he said they were being honest. Not to mention that your client had just turned eighteen, and the victim was their ex—you believed in their word.

"So, this is what you're doing now?"

Paralyzed in the spot, a sharpness creeps down your spine as you straighten your posture. A deep, gruff—almost gravelly voice holds you like a relative you hadn't seen in a while. As if it were a family member you hated but also missed on occasion. Fear became tangible. A living force that crept over you like a ferocious beast, immobilizing you; your brain. No. You thought, your breath caught in your throat. No, it couldn't be. He was dead. Frank Castle is dead.

"F...Frank?"

It wasn't—isn't—possible. It'd been two years since you had heard about the tragedy that took place in Central Park. It broke your heart into pieces when you learned of the Castle's deaths. You hadn't spoken to Frank since he enlisted—he had served for eight years, and you'd only heard of his accomplishments from keeping up with the reports. He was your best friend once, alongside Billy Russo, and it fucking killed you when he died. Having met him when you were just fifteen in Highschool.

It wasn't until you turned in your chair that you saw a figure looming in the darkest corner of the room—heart palpating at an alarming rate. You grip the armrests, pushing down to stand up on your feet—legs wobbling as they step out of the shadows. You almost pass out from the shock, placing your palms flat on the table to anchor yourself. There Frank was, his face illuminated under the warm lighting of the one table lamp that was lighting your space.

"Hey there, darlin'," He spoke up—hands tucked into the pockets of his black parka, lips quirked into half of a smile but not quite there.

He was so much older than you saw him last; taller. That boyish charm you remembered—consumed in the lonely trenches of war and death. It was him, goddammit it was him. You couldn't find the words, all the things you wanted to say getting jumbled at the back of your mind. Your eyes wandered his being, lingering on the scars embedded into his skin. You told yourself it had to be a dream. That you had fallen asleep at the table for the umpteenth time.

You swallow hard, trying to wrap your head around Frank being alive. How was that possible? "You're..." You start to say, finding that it was difficult to speak. Your eyes meet his obscured gaze, fine lines, and engraved crinkles combined with the bags that made him look fucking exhausted. "They said...the papers said you were..." You shut your eyes, biting your tongue so hard; you started to taste the faintest of metals. You had to wake yourself up somehow.

Frank saunters to your hunched-over figure, only stopping when you meet his gaze once again. He felt his throat lock, watching your mascara mixed with tears undulating down your left cheek—lip trembling the slightest before you took a breath, shoving off the table to stand tall. "You look like shit," You quip, wiping away your tear with the back of your hand. "Have you always looked like that?"

Frank huffs out a laugh, glancing at the exit—shaking his head at your poke. "Glad to know that you haven't changed a bit. I'd almost forgotten how pretty you were."

You scoff, sniffling as you fold your arms over your chest. "Frank Castle, ever the flirt. I don't remember your lines being that charming but, I guess faking your death for two years will give a guy a chance to think about what to say when approaching someone." A snarky tone; mean. You didn't mean to come off as rude or an asshole but, you had a right to be angry. You couldn't fathom Frank ever lying to you, keeping something like his existence a secret. Then again, you didn't know Frank at all. Not anymore.

"Darlin'," Frank's smile falters, the stoic nature crawling back to make a home on his stance. What did he expect? For you to break out the warm and toasties? To greet him with open arms and that goddamn smile he missed so much? "I'm sorry," He mumbles, lowering his head in shame. "I didn't...I mean, I wanted..."

You pursed your lips together, watching the man trying to find the right words to soothe you. And while you had a right to be angry, Frank was entitled to his secrets. He didn't owe you a single thing. Castle did whatever the hell he wanted—you knew that faking his death wasn't the hardest. It was burying his wife and kids.

"I could use a drink," You chime, cutting his ramble short. "Care to join me?"

"Ten years is a long time, Frankie," You say into a glass of whiskey before taking a swig—the amber liquid burning the back of your throat. "I'd of appreciated a call or a letter."

Frank stared down at his glass, swirling the alcohol a few times—frowning deeply in thought. You both occupied the small breakfast table in your kitchen, sitting across from one another—a bottle of opened Jameson in the middle. "Yeah, it's been...some time, hasn't it?"

You nod, setting the glass down in front of you. Frank left for the Marines on his eighteenth birthday, whispering promises you knew he couldn't keep as he hugged you goodbye—tears coming down your cheeks. You were going to miss him but, it's what he wanted for himself and you respected his decision. You chew on the inside of your cheeks, debating on whether or not you should bring up his family. He had to know that it was in the papers, and nothing could control the elephant in the room. "I, uh..." You trail, flickering your attention between your drink and the burly man across from you. "I'm sorry about-"

"Don't," Frank whispers, shutting his eyes as he shook his head. "I know you are, darlin'. I know you are."

You swallow your apology, nodding your head in agreement. You inhale deeply, mentally shaking the thoughts from your head to stray the conversation to a different topic. "What brings you to Hell's Kitchen, Frank? I mean, why the sudden visit? How do you know where I work?"

Frank sets the glass down, turning his body towards you—gaze settling on your own. "You honestly think I haven't kept tabs on you?"

That was surprising, and yeah, you assumed he stopped giving a shit once he married his wife, once he left. You don't respond to that, casting your eyes somewhere—anywhere—but him.

"I always knew where you were, darlin'."

Your eyes snapped to him, brows suddenly furrowing at that answer. "So," You start, repeating his words to see if you had it right. "Lemme get this straight. You knew this entire time where the hell I've been, and not once did you try to reach out? What kind of shit is that?"

Frank sighs, knowing damn well that this was the reaction he was expecting. It was shitty, keeping a close eye on you, and not even sending a text or letting you meet his family. You were his best friend growing up, and it was the least he could've done.

Maybe that's why he decided to show up tonight. Guilt was a real bitch, and now that his family was taken from him, you were the closest thing he had at the moment. Not that he couldn't trust Billy but, you were a hell of a lot easier on the eyes. "I...I just needed a friend."

Your shoulders visibly dropped. Hardened eyes softening at the tone of his voice; gravelly, faint. Friend. After all this time he still considered you a friend. If you were being honest with yourself—you never stopped being his friend. You lean forward, reaching for his rough hand that rested on the table. "I never stopped being your friend, Frank."

He looks down at your hands, his thumb grazing soft circles beside your thumb. He missed you—so much and there wasn't a day you didn't cross his mind, especially when he got married. He still regrets not sending you an invitation. "Not after you left for the Marines, not when you stopped sending letters, not even when..." You pause, your eyes meeting at the same time. "The point is, I'm here. I always was."

You weren't expecting it, the unanticipated tug of your hand as he stood up—pulling you right into his rock-hard chest—thick arms wrapping around you to hold you close. His cheek pressed onto the top of your head before kissing your hair. It took you a second to register the hug, but you sank into it as soon as you felt his grip tighten around you. Your arms came around his back, not even touching from how broad he was. You missed him. God, you missed him.

"I have some business I need to take care of in Hell's Kitchen, thought I'd stop by and see you." He says, grabbing your shoulder to draw away from the hug. "So you're a lawyer now, huh?"

You blow out a breath, rolling your eyes at his smirk as you step away into the kitchen. "Yeah," You breathe, reaching for the handle of your fridge. "I used to be a family slash child services lawyer but, I couldn't stomach some of the cases I had. Too much on the conscience, you know?"

"Thought you wanted to be a teacher?"

"You remember that?" You ask in disbelief, glancing behind your shoulder at him. "I told you that when I was sixteen."

"How could I forget? You asked for a chalkboard that year. Weird ask but, I got you one anyway. God, you loved that fucken chalkboard. 'Member when you took it to Graduation and made everyone sign it?"

You choke out a laugh, lowering your head in shame. "Oh, fuck off, Castle," You turn away from the fridge, smiling from ear to ear as you start down the hall, leaving Frank in the kitchen for a moment to enter your bedroom. Flickering the light on, your eye caught the wooden frame of the board hung up on the wall. You pad over, taking the frame in both hands before heading back to where Frank stood.

"No fucking way," He downs the rest of his drink, placing the glass onto your table, and he chuckles. "You still have it?" Frank takes the frame from your grasp—eyes filling with crinkles from his bright smile, his eyes tracing over the entire graduating class. Then, his eyes land on his name, his smile dissipating.

To my best girl, Frankie's gonna miss you but, I'll see you very soon!

"I shouldn't have left you like that," Frank grunts, his grip on the frame making his knuckles turn white. "You never deserved that."

You dismiss the obvious apology with a wave of your hand, taking the chalkboard to lean it against the counter. "Don't even worry about it, Frank. You had a helluva lot to worry about than someone you used to know." You say with a shrug, giving him a gentle smile. "I'm okay, I promise. We both left things behind from our old lives. I don't blame you for trying to move..."

Frank's calloused palms are cupping your cheeks suddenly, the warmth of his body emanating around you—your sentence faltering. His big brown eyes are boring into yours, holding you in their trance. "You shouldn't have been the one I left behind." He whispers, eyes fluttering shut as he rests his forehead against yours.

Read pt. 2 here

I don't know how I feel about this one but, I had fun writing it. Lemme know what you think; feedback is wholeheartedly appreciated. And let me know if you want a second part or sm. Thank you!

#frank castle #the punisher #frank castle x reader #frank castle x you #the punisher x you #frank castle oneshot #i fucking love frank castle #oneshot #the punisher oneshot

[cooliogirl101]

When they meet, Hashirama is a 18-year-old boy who’s known as an idealist fool with dreams bigger than himself and Hisana is a 15-year-old civilian girl with a cranky, elderly donkey as her only companion.

“No, no, no, not again,” Hisana groaned as she woke up to see that Carrot had-- once again-- chewed through her ropes and was now chomping away at some flowers further down the road. “Goddammit, get back here, you stupid donkey!”

At the sight of Hisana running towards her, Carrot took off at a fairly impressive speed, considering she was 22 years old and had arthritis. Not for the first time, Hisana considered just letting her go-- but then, that wouldn’t do. There were wolves out there (probably), just waiting to make a meal out of some poor old donkey, and Carrot was pretty slow when she wasn’t making Hisana’s life difficult. She wouldn’t survive.

The sound of muffled laughter caught Hisana’s attention and she looked up to see a teenage boy perched in a tree (where had he even come from??), one hand covering his mouth in a very poor attempt at hiding his amusement.

“Need some help?” He offered, eyes glinting with humor as he took in Hisana’s sorry attempt at chasing down her donkey.

Hisana briefly considered turning him down to try and preserve what remained of her dignity, then glanced back at Carrot’s departing figure and promptly decided it was too early in the morning for things like personal pride and chasing down donkeys.

“If you don’t mind,” she said, only a little grudgingly. The stranger’s lips quirked up and he disappeared in a swirl of leaves, only to reappear holding Carrot’s reins a second later.

Hisana blinked. So he was a shinobi. Alrighty, then.

“Here you go,” the stranger said cheerfully, a grumpy donkey trotting behind him.

Scowling, Hisana marched up to Carrot and swatted her lightly on the head.

“Do that again and I’ll make donkey skewers out of you, don’t think I won’t,” she threatened. Carrot nudged at her, nosing around for something to eat, and Hisana sighed, wrapping her arms around Carrot’s neck in a hug before turning to the stranger.

“Thank you. Really,” she said, giving him a faint smile. “You saved me ten minutes of chasing after her.”

“No need to thank me! It was no trouble at all, honestly,” the stranger laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I was glad to help.”

Hisana studied him for a moment. She didn’t think he was acting, exactly, but there was something almost scripted about the way he spoke, his posture, his expressions, every movement carefully telegraphed. Like he was taking care to appear as harmless as possible.

It didn’t take a genius to realize why. This may have been her first time encountering a shinobi in person, but she’d heard more than enough stories.

They’re killers, Hisana, plain and simple. People without honor, who slaughter children, innocents, each other-- whoever they’re paid to slaughter-- without hesitation or remorse. Monsters in every sense of the word.

“Hey, um,” she said slowly. “Have you eaten?”

“I beg your pardon?” The shinobi asked, startled.

“I asked if you’d had breakfast yet,” Hisana repeated. “If not, would you care for something to eat? I can offer you--” She paused to mentally take stock of her food inventory. “--leftover meat buns, half an apple, and some vaguely sketchy berries.”

The shinobi coughed.

“Vaguely sketchy berries?” He asked, lips twitching. Hisana shrugged.

“I mean, I’m pretty sure they’re harmless. I’ve been snacking on them for days and I haven’t died yet, which is a good sign.” She smiled at him. “So, breakfast?”

“Yeah,” the shinobi said quietly, after a pause. There was a hint of uncertainty in his eyes, almost like he was waiting for her to withdraw her invitation. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

~~

“I’m Hisana, by the way.”

“Hashirama. It’s very nice to meet you, Hisana.”

~~

Hashirama ended up staying for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and then for another two days past that. Shinobi, it turned out, made for very good hunters, something Hisana discovered very quickly into their acquaintance.

“Hashirama,” she said, staring at the struggling rabbit in Hashirama’s hand. “This is the fifth rabbit you’ve brought me. I appreciate the thought, but--” She gestured helplessly in the general direction of the rabbit. “--it’s really too much.”

“It’s okay, you can save it for later!” His expression fell. “Unless you’re tired of rabbits? Wait no, of course you’d be tired of rabbits, I should have thought of that. I can get you something else instead? Maybe a pheasant? I think I saw some pheasants around here.”

Hisana studied him for a moment.

“Hashirama,” she said abruptly. “Why did you decide to travel with me?”

“What do you mean?” Hashirama asked, brow furrowed.

“I mean that I’m well-aware I’m slowing you down. Don’t deny it, you can’t tell me that your maximum speed is that of a twenty-something year-old donkey,” she said, exasperated. “I’m not the best at cooking, and we’ve already established that you’re a far better of a hunter than I am. So why stay? Why travel with me when it’d be easier for you to travel alone?”

He was quiet for a long moment.

“You knew I was a shinobi and invited me to stay anyway,” he said finally, voice soft. He wasn’t quite meeting her eyes. “And besides, I like talking to you.”

Hisana swallowed, caught off guard.

“And I like talking to you,” she replied quietly. “I didn’t invite you along because I wanted your protection, or someone to hunt for me, or anything like that, Hashirama, I did so because I have fun spending time with you. If you like catching rabbits or whatever, that’s fine. But don’t feel like you have to do so for my sake, or that you need to-- to prove something to me.”

Hashirama let out a slightly shaky laugh.

“I’m sorry. I guess I’m not very used to this,” he admitted. “You know, you’re the first civilian I’ve spent time with outside of a mission?”

“Well, you’re the first shinobi I’ve ever met,” she replied. He looked at her, surprised.

“Seriously? But you weren’t scared at all!” He exclaimed.

“Well, that’s on you,” she scoffed. “You weren’t very frightening.”

“Or maybe you’re just not very easy to scare,” he answered.

“If that helps your ego, sure,” Hisana grinned.

She reached down to stroke Carrot’s neck.

“So tell me, what was it like, growing up as a shinobi?

When Hashirama hesitated, she added, “You can lie about all the classified parts. It’s not like I would know, anyway.”

Hashirama laughed, shaking his head.

“Alright, then,” he said, smiling. “But I’m warning you, it’s really not as interesting as you’re probably imagining. I grew up in a large ninja clan, and--”

Bonus:

“Care to explain why you came back from your mission three days late?” Tobirama asked flatly. “Half the clan thought you’d died.”

Hashirama smiled, a slightly dreamy look in his eyes. Tobirama didn’t like it at all.

“Just took a detour, that’s all.”

The next time they meet, several years later, Hashirama is the newly appointed leader of his clan and Hisana has built a name for herself as a wandering clan-less healer (she listens for rumors of recent battles/bandit attacks/shinobi disputes and goes wherever there’s recent bloodshed. In doing so, she creates quite a few connections and ends up building the shinobi world’s largest, most detailed information network completely by accident).

#wtl!au #hippocrates au