Demon Angel Swap: Chaggie
Charlie: (wakes up with a stretch and yawn) Morning, Vaggie.
Wings: (poof out of Charlie's back and fluff up)
Charlie: (struggling to stay upright from the added weight) WHOA!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! VAGGIE?!?!?! (Turns towards Vaggie and her jaw drops)
Vaggie: (wakes up with a yawn as she sits in her nightgown like she's on the cover of Sports Illustrated, demon horns sprout from her head and demon tail flicks behind her playfully) What? What is it, babe?
Charlie: (nose bleed) .......Breed me.
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Charlie: "Dad. Don't freak out now. But it turns out my girlfriend is...."
Lucifer: "? Lesbian, yes?"
Charlie: "...an angel."
Lucifer: "Oh I KNOW she is Char-char! Just look at her!"
Charlie: "You whuh?"
Vaggie: "It's- it's not that obvious! ...is it?"
Lucifer: "Aww Maggie, anyone who's known you for two minutes could see that you're just the sweetest most angelic girlfriend."
Charlie: "Oh noo..."
Vaggie: "Uhhh. How, sir?"
Lucifer: "Why, the way you look at Charlie! All soft and gooey! Like caramel melting on an apple!"
Vaggie: "Oh."
Charlie: "No dad I didn't mean 'angel' as in she's sweet like an angel or pretty like angel- I mean! She IS pretty! The most pretty!! Gorgeous, stunning-"
Vaggie: "Getting off topic babe."
Charlie: "We mean it literally. Dad, Vaggie's an angel. Vaggie?"
Vaggie: (wings go floomf)
Lucifer: ".........."
Lucifer: "...."
Lucifer: "Oh." (tears up) "Wowzer."
Vaggie: (PANIC) "Shit oh shit, Charlie- Charlie I made your dad cry-"
Charlie: "H-happy tears, right dad!? Happy tears!"
Lucifer: "Oh, yes. It's only. Standing like that. You two, you look a lot like..." (clears throat) "Golly!"
Charlie: "We look at lot like...?"
Lucifer: "A whoooole lot of happy! Just. Wow! HA!"
Vaggie: "Are you okay sir?"
Lucifer: "Am I okay- are YOU okay??? How did you get down here, Maggie! And without anyone telling me! I would've LOVED to have helped- errr ah well, or at LEAST given you a place to crash- oh GOSH not the best word choice is that ha ha oops! Um!"
Vaggie: "It's alright sir. Charlie kinda... took care of all that. And, me."
Charlie: "She was Exorcist. She is NOT like that anymore. She left them all on her own, and they- they just left her here."
Lucifer: "An Exorcist? One of Lilith's ex's scary vengeance ladies?"
Charlie: "Dad-"
Lucifer: "OHHHH THAT IS HILARIOUS- oh Lili would LOVE this- did you leave him too? The-"
Vaggie: "First dick? Yeah."
Lucifer: "HIGH FIVE! Ooh ooh AND DOWN LOW! Oh haha, I haven't done that part since Charlie was still my size!!!"
Charlie: "Daaaaad..."
Lucifer: "So you left Adam like Lili did and you're dating a demon like I was and you're and angel like me and- oh do you. Do you miss heaven? Are you, trying to get back...?"
Vaggie: "No. I like it here."
Lucifer: "Preferring and happier in hell, another point like Lili! But why?"
Charlie: "She didn't exactly have the best time up in heaven."
Vaggie: "No shit. You weren't up there."
Charlie: "Vaggieeee."
Lucifer: "Youuuuu're looking at her all melty and sweet again~"
Vaggie: "Anyway sir, we just wanted you to know."
Lucifer: "Well gee whiz I sure hope you kids didn't stress over tell me! This is PERFECT!"
Charlie: "It is?"
Lucifer: "Of course it is! Maggie." (takes Vaggie by the shoulders) "Do you know what all of this means?"
Vaggie: "...that i can... keep dating... your daughter..?"
Charlie: "Vaggie of course you c-"
Lucifer: "YOU WERE DESTINED TO BE MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW!" (hugs her) "You're like a perfect mix of me and Lili! It's like creation made someone specially to understand our daughter- and it's YOU! Charlie's matching other half, her soulmate- exactly the right wife for her!"
Vaggie: "Your- wait- HER-?"
Demon Charlie: "DAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!"
Lucifer: "Two beautiful brides!" (sniffles) (pulls charlie into the hug and cracks them both like glow sticks) "So! When's the wedding!?"
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