#Betty’s entire family is fucked

[crazy-god-bunker-jughead]

Runs in the Family AMV has me feeling things. Like wow nobody in Riverdale can escape their family legacy it weighs over them it’s an ever present shadow.

#Veronica can’t escape the lodge name #she’s obsessed with her father #she is her father she married her father (atleast a punk ass version) #Jughead becoming an alcoholic addict just like his dad #unable to finish a second book like his grandfather #Betty’s entire family is fucked #the serial killer genes #while insane #a representation of the violence and the darkness she inherited from her father #half her family has it #her brother succumbed to it #Cheryl with the Blossom family twin curse #eternally haunted by her family’s history which keeps repeating itself over and over and over #half the serpents were born into the gang and will die in the gang #and Archie was there #Riverdale

[melonteee]

Oda's depiction of "liberation" is just the complete opposite of the savior bs and I love it so much. Like, when we first saw the Revolutionary Army actually liberating people, there was a big emphasis on how they weren't just taking care of people's problems for them, their goal was to empower the people to fight for themselves. Belo Betty's devil fruit, especially, is amazing at showing that, even beyond the dialogue just outright telling us. Then this last chapter dropped and I love it so much. Luffy, Joyboy, Nika, whatever- that SEEMS like an obvious savior figure. But what does he do when Bonney realizes he is Nika and asks him to beat up the bad guy? He agrees, of course - they are friends - but he doesn't just do it. It's a TEACHING moment. Luffy goes "here, this is how you should punch the fuck out of corrupt old men" as he is doing it!!! Nika is an inspiring legend, and Luffy will fistfight God if he has to, but people's liberation isn't something a shonen protagonist can just punch into reality. It's about giving people the hope to fight back, the hope to dream. That's so refreshing for a shonen. (It's also something Oda struggled with at the start, I think, with the limitations of One Piece being a shonen story where the rubber boy has to punch the bad guy. He has handled it amazingly post-TS though, imo) Sorry, I HAD to ramble about this. IT'S SO GOOD

lmao this is a good ramble, and I've said before One Piece is really un-shonen like in many aspects. On one hand it's about friendship and family and fights and ballsy main characters, on the other hand Oda evolves that and takes it to a whole other level that ends up being something entirely different. Almost something that goes against modern shonen themes and even laughs in the face of what a 'hero' is.

Oda has stated he hates what modern manga art is becoming, in terms of losing that sillyness and removing goofy expressions their manga forefathers used, and refuses to let One Piece/Luffy become serious the same way other shonens have. That's definitely one of the reasons why Luffy's version of liberation is so hopeful lmao

#ask #melonask

[valiantstarlights]

[The Proposal AU]

Inspired by: @voukkake 's art, and what @valeriianz wrote.

I have totally forgotten that I said Betty White's character should be played by Destiny. 😂 And while I changed my mind about the blanket just now, I'm still pushing for him to do the forest ritual scene. 💃 Anyway, here's my contribution to the dreamling The Proposal AU. 🖤

"Hey, are you both decent?" Johanna, Hob's younger sister, calls out as she raps a quick knock on the door of Hob's bedroom.

Hob, currently lounging on the bed and reading a novel, rolls his eyes and says, "Dream has never been decent once in his entire life, but I suppose we're both fully clothed at the moment."

Dream, who is getting some editing work done at Hob's desk, glares at him from the corner of his eye.

Hob beams at him as the door opens and Jo enters with one hand covering her eyes, while the other held out a wrapped package for either of them to take. "Just delivering this," she says. "Gran said it came in the mail this morning."

"It's already open," Hob notes, putting his book down as he moves to take it from her. "Who is it from?"

"Oh, uh, the entire Endless family? There are a lot of signatures on the letter."

Dream notices an envelope peeking out of the package, and it, too, has been opened. He stands quickly and slaps Hob's hand away before grabbing the letter himself.

"Well, okay, that's all," Jo says mysteriously as she turns back towards the door, trying to navigate her way out of Hob's room with one hand still placed firmly over her eyes. "I'm gonna go and find my noise-cancelling headphones and some duct tape. Just give me like a ten minute headstart, okay? Please? For my sanity?"

"I have literally no idea what's going on," Hob says to the room at large: to Dream, who is reading the letter accompanying the package with a furious look on his face, and to Jo, who is using her other arm like a blind man's cane as she exits the room.

"You'll know soon, Hobsie!" Jo calls out as she crosses the threshold, and immediately slams the door shut. Hob then hears her tearing down the corridor to her room like the hounds of hell are chasing her. "Remember: ten minutes!" she yells out. "Not one second earlier!"

Helpless, Hob turns to his boss. Fake fiancee. Whatever. "Wanna clue me in on why my sister is acting weirder than usual?"

In response, Dream holds up a hand, nonverbally telling him to wait until he finishes reading the letter. A few seconds later, he scoffs in disgust and throws the letter towards Hob, who scrambles to catch it.

"The last paragraph," Dream spits, tone utterly disgusted, then stalks back towards the desk. When he starts typing again, it sounded like he was manifesting for his fingers to turn into hammers so he could destroy the keyboard. "And once you're done reading, burn both the letter and that..infernal package, will you?"

Hob, mystified at what the fuck is actually going on, turns the paper over to read the last paragraph.

'We are sending this letter with The Babymaker, which, if you have already forgotten--like you have forgotten all about our entire family's existence for the past few years--is the Endless family blanket that has been passed down through the generations, in the hopes that you and your fiancee will be blessed with many children.'

Hob chokes on his spit as he reaches the end of the paragraph. "What the fuck?"

"Precisely," Dream says bitterly. "No doubt my parents and a couple of my siblings find this entire situation amusing."

"Okay, first of all," Hob says, very gingerly setting both the package and the letter with the envelope at the farthest corner of the room from the two of them, being very careful not to touch the blanket's fabric, "Who the fuck names their blanket The Babymaker? And second of all, of all the heirlooms to pass down to your children, it has to be the blanket that each and every ancestor used when they fucked? Really?"

"Now you understand why I do not interact with most of my family members," Dream says. "This is not the first time they have gone to great lengths to humiliate me, although sending the blanket to potentially humiliate me in the eyes of my soon-to-be in-laws stink of desperation."

The more Hob learns about Dream's biological family, the more he wants to punch them in the face. No wonder Dream acts like he's under attack all the time. Heck, if Hob grew up in a home where he was treated like shit, he wouldn't emerge prickly and wary. He'd be a full-blown bastard who punches first and talks it out never.

"We could send them a letter back," Hob offers, a little cheekily to infuse some humor in the situation. Dream is clenching his jaw so hard, and a small, miniscule, microscopic part of Hob wants to run his thumb gently over where the muscles are bunched up. Dream was having a pretty okay day before all this. Like, sure, he was muttering that the writer whose work he's currently editing is an idiot, but that's his usual thing. And Hob likes listening to him rant and read ridiculous passages from the manuscript.

(He'd never admit that, of course, but...he's come to like it. He sometimes even looks forward to it.)

"And what shall we say, hm?" Dream challenges, hostility stiffening his shoulders. "That we are grateful for their gift and we are keen to invite them to our wedding? Because this entire thing might be a sham, but I would rather eat hot coals than have either of my parents walk me down the aisle, or my twin siblings be part of the wedding party."

Hob gives in to the temptation and walks towards his desk. He ignores the way Dream sits up even straighter, like he's ready to get into a physical fight, and gently runs his thumb over Dream's jaw.

Immediately, as soon as Hob's thumb makes contact with Dream's jaw, Dream's eyelashes flutter, and his brows furrow. He looks utterly confused. Was he expecting Hob to hurt him? Hob grits his own teeth at that, but takes care not to let the sudden flare of anger show on his face.

When Dream looks up to meet Hob's gaze, Hob could still see the guarded way he holds himself, but there's also yearning in the line of his neck. Hob rubs his jaw again, and does not remove his hand from where it cups Dream's face. He could feel Dream lean infinitesimally closer, and he wordlessly lets him, continuing to run his thumb back and forth in a comforting gesture.

"Disclaimer," Hob says softly, at the sudden hush of the room. "What I'm gonna say next is a joke at your family's expense, so please don't commit violence against my person."

Dream's eyes actually sparkle at that, and the corner of his lips lifts the tiniest amount. "Go on, then," he says. "I welcome jokes at my family's expense. I will even give you bonus points if you make fun of my parents and my twin siblings."

Well. Alright then.

"I was thinking," Hob says slowly, "maybe we should write back and say we didn't need the blanket at all, since I totally got you pregnant weeks ago when we fucked at your place, just after you gave the most romantic proposal ever. The doctor said we're having twins, and since I'm a total simp for you, I will allow you to commit all sorts of crimes, including not letting our children meet your parents and your twin siblings, and burning the Endless family's precious blanket heirloom at the very first opportunity."

"You would dare invite the wrath of the entire Endless family, both the living and the dead, just to please my arsonist tendencies?" Dream asks, but his eyes are crinkled in laughter, and he's actually smiling.

"Yeah," Hob says, suddenly feeling a strange, tender sensation in his chest. Dream absolutely looks breathtaking when he smiles. "Absolutely."

"Then come," Dream says, and stands. Hob watches him pick up the package holding The Babymaker, as well as the envelope and letter that Hob had set aside. "We still have an hour before dinner, and I would rather not sleep in the same room as this wretched thing."

Fuck, Hob thinks inanely, mind still replaying how Dream's smile widened as Hob talked shit about his family. They were really gonna burn The Endless family's highly inappropriate and very disgusting heirloom.

"Hob," Dream says, now on the threshold of Hob's room. One eyebrow was raised in a manner that should definitely not make Hob's nether regions interested. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah," Hob says quickly, and rushes to Dream's side. He feels like he's gonna trip at any moment. "It could prove cathartic for you," he says, a little stupidly. He has to say something so he doesn't think about Dream's smile and his imperiously raised eyebrow. "And symbolic. Like watching bad memories burn and be reduced to nothing."

Dream hums and takes Hob's arm as they walk down the stairs to go outside. It's a bit chilly out, but not too much. Apparently, it's more important to Dream that they burn the damn thing than pause for a second to don a jacket. "Reword that, and I'll allow you to use it in your novel."

"Great," Hob squeaks out at Dream's fond tone. "Definitely will remember that one."

He has already forgotten what he just said, his entire being focused on Dream's warm hand on his arm, and the scent of his own shampoo.

"I will remember for you," Dream assures him. "Eidetic memory, remember?"

Hob was about to say that that is something he will definitely not be forgetting any time soon, except it was at that moment that they hear Jo holler all the way from her room, "Finally found my noise-cancelling headphones! The two of you can fuck now!"

Their eyes meet, and there is a moment of silence, before Dream lets out the most frightening laugh Hob has ever heard, except all he feels is giddy and fond and slightly off balance, like something huge just happened, and his entire world has been changed irrevocably.

#the proposal AU #dreamling #the sandman #my writing #good job my thumbs #the babymaker blanket from the movie always baffled me 👀 #like. excuse me but what kind of family heirloom is that?? 😨 #no thank you i would rather be disowned 😂 #my 'Hob and Jo are siblings' agenda continues 💃

[aria-greenhoodie]

Hihihi! You have a lot of neat AUs!! I’d really like to know about the Candy Sphinx one!!

YES EHEHEHEHE IVE MADE A LOT OF DESIGNS FOR THIS ONE ALLREADY! Basically, this AU just makes every character into a candy sphinx because I love them. The canon reason for it existing is that during the GOLB fight of the finale, both Goliad and Stormo somehow ended up in the time room when GOLB was releasing a burst of energy. Stormo wished that there were more of him and his brother’s kind, so they didn’t have to be alone (much to Goliad’s chagrin) to which this version of the universe was made. Obviously because I’m not normal about Petrigrof I focus a lot on them but every character exists in the universe!

In all honesty this entire AU is just an excuse to draw more weird fucked up cat creatures but shhhh…

A lot of the characters’ families and dynamics are slightly changed, for example, Marceline is Simon and Betty’s biological kit, Finn and Fern are brothers from the same litter rather than being the same person (or sphinx, in this case), and I may have done a wee bit of universe-bending to allow certain characters like Fionna, Winter King, and Farmworld Finn to exist because I WANT TO DRAW CHARACTERS AS CANDY SPHINXES

These are all the designs I’ve drawn in color thus far! Oh, and have some sketches!

This AU is very much a Self-indulgent excuse to draw fucked up cats, but it does have some light lore :3 I’m gonna make a chart explaining the lineage of all the sphinxes soon, since it’s not the same as Canon Ooo…

Click for Quality btw!

#ignore the coloring mistake in the second bit of the first image #I drew that piece when I was fighting COVID and did not realize I fucked it lmao #aria draws #digital art #digital drawing #fanart #aria ramblings #aria asks #aria animates #wow this post has 4/5 of my organization tags #adventure time #adventure time au #Candy sphinx #goliad #stormo #they’re mentioned but not drawn sorry :( #petrigrof #simon petrikov #betty grof #finn mertens #fern mertens #jake the dog #jermaine the dog #BMO #marceline abadeer #princess bubblegum #LSP #flame princess #huntress wizard #wait fuck I can’t fit all the characters

[hornedqueenofhell]

The Proposal AU. Eddie is a Canadian with an expired green card and a very important job. Rather than face deportation he blackmails his secretary into marrying him and now has to meet his new fiance's family.

Eeee! I love the Proposal so much, it's one of my favorite movies! Dustin and the rest of the party serving as a stand in for Betty White is everything. The entire casting of this is fucking brilliant and it's such a good time. The author blended the true ending and the alternate ending which was fun. (I'm a sucker for the cannon ending but the plane scene is great) They kept the best line of it in though, the one that makes this movie one of the greats for romantic comedies in my mind. All in all this author did amazing and I just want to squeeze Steve the entire time.

#stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #robin buckley #dustin henderson #stranger things #will byers #mike wheeler #max mayfield #lucas sinclair #nancy wheeler #argyle #stranger things argyle #jonathan byers #jargyle #ronance #jopper #joyce byers #jim hopper #eleven hopper #jane hopper #lumax #byler #suzie stranger things

[sirenologyyy]

TIME AWAY FROM HOME !

ao'nung x fem!sully reader

✷ premise : as tensions rise and your family is forced out of the only home you've ever known, fish boy meets forest girl and the rest is history (tragedy)

✷ warnings : kidnapping, swearing, injury, blood, violence, and death

✷ author's note : I've recently just fell down the ao'nung rabbit hole and holy fuck am I enjoying myself so I decided to write an ao'nung fic to feed my delusions further! also, some italicised paragraphs are flashbacks, I didn't italicise some of the dialogue in between them since I had to give some of the words some emphasis.

part 1 of the SOLD OUT OF LOVE series

Jake never took a strong liking to your mother when they were still humans, if Grace Augustine was snappy, foul-mouthed, and a know-it-all then your mother was somehow every derogatory word in the English language. Jake and her would lock horns almost everytime they spoke, and if you knew how much fights Grace and Jake got into you can double that number and then you'd have the rough estimate of Jake and your mother's daily rows.

But somehow despite all that, Jake knew what lengths he'd go to just to protect your mother, Bettina "Betty" Chacon, a xenoanthropologist who was sent to Pandora two decades after Grace to further study about the natives, the Na'vi, the environment around them, and the complexity of this symbiotic relationship between their God, Eywa.

Unlike Jake and a few selected others who were granted the permission by the RDA to have Avatar bodies, your mother chose to learn about the Natives the hard way, by exopack, even if Norm and Max built her one and was ready at her disposal, she still opted against using it and said she'd rather be caught dead than having to walk around the forest like skinless cookie monster.

After the Sky People had been defeated and Grace Augustine's demise, the humans left Pandora and were sent back to Earth. There were a few who stayed, loyal to the Na'vi like Norm, and Max, some who were too young to even travel in a cryochamber like Spider who was a curly haired devil zipping around camp, and your mother who couldn't travel back to Earth because she was carrying you.

She had fooled around after her Grace and her older sister Trudy's death, drank, slept with other scientists, soldiers, threw herself in her work, never slept, never ate, always drinking, drinking, drinking, because she feared of what may come when she finally stopped and stood still and let the feelings wash over her like she had been barricading the floodgates this entire time, fearing she wasn't strong enough and that the gates would break open and she'd be caught up in a maelstrom.

She'd finally singed her liver, was what Jake always said when he'd come home to Neytiri after spending an afternoon at the lab, checking up on Betty making sure she was taking care of herself and that he didn't have to skewer Max and Norm like a shish kebab as he thought he would. Alongside Neteyam his budding archer, Kiri his compassionate little girl, and he had to worry about an ex-alcoholic scientist friend of his with a baby on the way.

Still though, it was too quick. How she was just taking a shower and started seizing in the bathroom, how her brain started hemorrhaging as they placed her onto the operating table, her vitals worsening by the second. They were forced to deliver you, even if you weren't ready to come out yet. Jake barely made it, able to hear Betty's last words, how she was with Grace, with Eywa, to take care of you, and tell you to keep going even if the world tells you stand down, to never give a fuck about anyone who made you feel less of yourself, that you were Betty Chacon's kid, and nothing could ever change that.

With one last push your screams rang out, and your mother forever silenced.

Your mother never decided on a name, didn't even want to find out if you were a girl or a boy so Jake chose your name in her stead, Neytiri wasn't fond of it, so she took it upon herself to give you a better name, a Na'vi name. Funnily enough, the second time that day, for a few hours earlier she had given birth to a child as well, a boy, whom they named Lo'ak.

Despite that, you grew up in the lab with Norm, Max, and Spider who was just a couple years older than you and made sure you remembered it. Unlike Spider though, you get winded down easily, which is why he wins all the races, he couldn't even break a sweat from chasing you and tagging you, and in hide and seek you always get found first because he'd be finished counting and you'd still be looking for a place to hide.

"You're doing that on purpose" You called out, narrowing your eyes at your older sister, Kiri who kept sticking her ikran closer to yours. Your ikran Hína, squawking in indignation and swaying to the side.

"Doing what?" She wonders, almost clueless.

You click your tongue against the roof of your mouth. "You're drifting, if you piss off my ikran i'm going to chop your tail off"

She laughs at you. "I'd like to see you try, you skxawng"

Suddenly, Neteyam appears in between the both of you, your ikrans making way. "guys, respectfully, can you two shut up?"

You see Kiri rolling her eyes. "Go mind your own business, jack off"

This makes you snort, watching as Neteyam turns his head towards you. "Yeah, piss off posterboy"

He winces sardonically. "It's really hard not to, seeing as all I can hear from the front is you two yapping"

"We'll keep it down then" You compromised.

"Thank you " says Neteyam, shaking his head finally moving away leaving you and Kiri alone.

As a child it was infuriating to have everyone around you treat you like you were fragile cargo, they still kept on the baby proofing they installed since Spider was born, only doubling it when they realized how a little bruise could swell up and cause you unease and discomfort, if you started sniffling and coughing out of nowhere it meant 2 weeks rest and Neteyam, Kiri, Lo'ak, and Spider couldn't bring you outside, they made the most out of it though, you taught them how to play Uno, as three 6-feet tall tweens force themselves to fit inside your cube sized room.

Due to lack of sunlight your skin would start to turn sallow, you were lanky, every cut bled out abnormally fast, they tested you for hemophilia but when the tests came back you were in the all clear, no hemophilia, no leukemia, no anemia either. They didn't know what was wrong with you.

They traced it to your birth, since your fetus had been placed under a lot of stress from your mother's premature labour and her brain aneurysm it had a lasting effect on you.

You remember how when you were 8 though, you had all snuck out mere minutes before eclipse because Lo'ak and Spider kept bragging about this secret spot in the forest that had the coolest view of the Omaticayan village without having to climb up so high to be able to see it. When it had started to rain Neteyam warned everyone to turn back, realizing that it had already been their curfew and that Max and Norm might be sending out a search party to find you and that you could come visit it tomorrow, but you, who had just left the lab and experienced what rain felt like on your skin for the first time said no and told him to stop acting like a scaredy cat, to which the others were happy to jump on and called Neteyam a scaredy cat as well.

So you all trekked the forest in the dark, Lo'ak started pulling at people's tails and denying that it was him until you gave him a taste of his own medicine and pulled his tail which made him scream and start running away, Neteyam chased after him, so did Kiri, and Spider pulled you onto his back as you ran after them. After a while though, you couldn't hear their screeches anymore so Spider put you down and told you to stay put as he went to go and find them.

You waited and waited but when he didn't come back you decide to find them and you eventually did, all grinning and out of breath, Lo'ak decides to race everybody to the spot and everybody else began running after him, not that they wanted to beat him

Spider was tired at that point and told you that you two should just walk instead, but you take off, feeling the raindrops land on your head and back, the cold wind lapping up at your face as you followed the blurry figures of Neteyam and Kiri until Lo'ak jumped out from behind a tree and scared you, you had jumped in fear, giggling and turning around to scold him but you slipped, fell down, and cracked your skull open, rolling onto the rushing river, the last thing you could hear was Lo'ak screaming your name.

"Eywa, my tailbone is killing me" you whined, only loud enough so that Kiri could hear, but it seemed like her mind was elsewhere.

"I don't think it'll hurt for much longer" She replies, making your eyebrows knit together before you turn your head and finally see the Metkayina village growing larger and larger, more vivid, more detailed. The locals wasted no time in giving you a proper welcome, with spears drawn out and menacing looks.

"Tough crowd" you mutter to Lo'ak, who you felt walking up to you.

He scoffs in agreement. "Tell me about it, someone's gotta show these people how to loosen their collars a little" He comments, earning a little snigger from you.

You slap his arm. "Bro, look at that guy" You tell him, nodding at one of the warriors whose face morphed into a tight sort of enraged expression. Lo'ak sees it and laughs through his nose.

"He looks like he's about to pop a nerve"

"He looks like he's constipated"

The both of you snicker to yourselves again.

Your sprightly mood was short-lived when you spot two teenage boys making their way towards you, the next thing you knew they were laughing right behind you.

"What is that?" One of them says. "Is that supposed to be a tail?"

The taller one out of the two takes your tail in his hands, making you flinch and turn around. "Definitely not, how would you swim with it? Too small, too weak, might as well be a piece of fabric, maybe then it would have more use"

They laugh in unison, feeling your ears turn hot. Once they started walking away you flick your tail harshly against the taller one's backside, you hear him yelp and turn around, his aquamarine eyes narrowing to slits.

"Sorry," You make out, trying to stifle a smile. "It has a mind of its own sometimes"

You think you hear him hiss at you but you were too busy trying to avert Neytiri's sharp gaze to be sure, Lo'ak though, once the two Metkayina boys were out of earshot, started to snort, you clear your throat, an attempt at passing off the giggle that had fortuitously escaped your lips. You were sure Neytiri was a second away from pulling your ears back to the Omaticayan village when the Olo'eyktan arrived on his Tsurak, making his way through the crowd to greet Jake.

They exchange pleasantries, so did you and your siblings, placing your hand to your head and bringing it down to your stomach. The chief did not spare another second to get to the point, wondering why Toruk Makto was here in the Reef with his family.

"We seek Uturu" says Jake as a chorus of gasps went off.

"Uturu? " Ronal repeats in disbelief.

"A sanctuary, for my family" He says, eyeing Ronal as she took Neytiri's tail to further scrutinise it, then turning to Tuk. "Their arms are weak" she backs away from Ronal, scurrying to Jake in a panicked state.

She rounds on Kiri this time, observing her tail. "Their tails are weak," says Ronal, taking the older girl's tail into her hands making her cringe and swat Ronal's arm away. "You will be slow in the water"

Then she grabbed both of Kiri's hands, turning them so her palms faced upwards, ten fingers. "These children, are not even true Na'vi!"

To your horror, she rounds on you and grabs your hand, raising it to the sky so that everybody could see all 4 of your fingers. "They have demon blood!" She screamed, you keep your head down in shame, in anger, you feel your ears drooping as you stared at the sand, hearing the blasphemous gasps and hisses that reverberated around you.

"Look!" Jake exclaimed, raising his hand in front of Ronal. "Look, look! I was born of the Sky People and now I am Na'vi, you can adapt alright? We can adapt"

After what seemed like forever Tonowari finally agreed to let your family stay with them, learn their ways, live life like the Reef People. You try and shake it off, already unpacking your things off of Hína who was no doubt as worn out as you were, Tsireya, the Chief's daughter began leading you the way into the village, you try and ignore the fact that mothers were pulling their children farther away from you, the whispers that followed you, the lingering looks.

Suddenly, you feel the woven pathway beneath you dipping, someone was walking up to you. When you turn around he was already there, the boy, from earlier, donning a prideful smirk as he sized you up, observing the amount of things you had been carrying. "How are you carrying that? I'd expect your arms to snap off by now"

"How are you walking? I'd expect your body to sway with that swelled head of yours"

You hear him hum. "You'd be surprised, I have been doing just fine the past 16 years"

"I pity your mother then" You tell him, not looking his way.

"Why?" He asked.

"She hasn't found a cure for you yet" you reply, not bothering to look at his reaction. "Whatever Eywa has cursed you with, she definitely did not hold back" you chuckled. "I have not seen anyone who has made her so angry to have cursed you with such a malady and allowed you to keep walking the face of Pandora, maybe if I keep telling you the truth, unlike your parents who keep feeding you lies and falsehoods then maybe your head would shrink to the actual size of your brain"

You continue. "I haven't been here long enough but I pity your people, not only is their future Olo'eyktan a half-wit, but you'd be having trouble finding your next Tsahík, every woman must be running the other direction with that hideous face of yours"

"I wouldn't be too sure about that" He laughed, waving at a few girls who were gathered by the entrance of a Marui, they see him and they giggle amongst themselves.

You turn to him. "Are the ladies of Awa'atlu so easily won over by a charming smile and nothing else?"

He tilts his head to the side, the edges of his mouth curling up to a smirk. "Charming? You find me charming?"

You scoffed at him. "I find you as attractive as a pile of íkran feces, but then again you are what you eat"

He blinked at you. "I will have you know that you are still speaking to the son of the Olo'eyktan-"

You stop walking and he screeches to a halt. "-do you think that I would drop to my knees, kiss at your feet and apologise?"

He half-shrugged, watching his eyes flick downward then upward to your face. "I would not hold it against you" He replies.

"I do not bow down to anyone" You told him. "Especially not to a man"

"Well then you haven't met me yet"

You feel your jaw tighten. "Whatever jackass, you aren't worth my time anyway" you spat, turning around and walking after your family.

He laughs. "I look forward to our talks in the future Forest Girl!"

Shouting another insult his way would catch your family's attention, so you flipped him the bird until you rounded a corner and disappeared from his line of sight.

"Yo, where were you?" Lo'ak wonders when you suddenly appeared at his side.

About to throw hands with the Olo'eykyan's son, you don't say. "I just had to catch my breath, nothing serious" you tell him instead.

You see his face soften. "You good baby sis? I could take a few, lighten your load-"

You shake your head at him adamantly. "No, no, I'm good, I'm serious," this does not convince him as he messes up your hair making you slap his hand away, pointing at his face as he laughs. "if you touch my shit I'm gunna kick your ass so hard you'll be pulling tail hairs out of your mouth for a month"

"Fine," He laughed, straightening himself up. "suit yourself"

You began walking again, allowing Lo'ak to go first as you tried to bring up the rear. Just when you've given him a false sense of security you tugged at his queue making him lose his balance and hiss, you bolt out of there, dancing past your siblings, ignoring their complaints before Lo'ak could even touch the end of your tail.

It had taken them a long time before they managed to find your body, Neteyam and Lo'ak braving the gushing river to find you while Spider and Kiri ran back to the village to get some help. Your exopack had been shattered, they weren't sure for how long, Neteyam had to perform CPR on you until Jake and the others came.

They transported you back to the lab in a helicopter, you remember that. Everytime they increased the voltage of the defibrillator the faster Lo'ak's mind went, the faster Spider's heartbeat went, Kiri was inconsolable, Neteyam was on the verge of a breakdown, Jake tried to keep it together, gain some composure if it was even possible but ultimately failed.

He had lost your mother 8 years ago to a head injury, if he loses you as well then Eywa really had it in for him.

When they brought you back to the lab you had been under a medically induced coma for several months. The Sullys visited you a lot, Neteyam telling you stories of the hunts he'd go on, how he promised he would teach you archery when you woke up, Kiri confiding her deepest secrets to you, what plants she'd discovered, what poultices she learned to make with her grandmother, how in the dead of night Spider would bring a pillow and a blanket and camp next to your bed if he couldn't sleep, Jake would come and tell you stories of your mother, how she would have wanted you to fight, how she would have wanted you to stay, so did Neytiri, she'd sing you songs, pray for you, she even started you a song cord and told you that when you woke up you and her would continue it together.

Though out of all of them, the one who visited you the most was Lo'ak, he was the one who made you fell, and ever since that day guilt had overcame him swallowed him whole, he'd sit with you for hours, apologising, telling you it didn't matter if you didn't wanna play with him anymore, if you didn't wanna talk to him anymore, if you didn't want to watch old cartoons with him anymore, if you hated him forever, as long as you woke up.

"Why does she have to suffer so much Dad?" He asked Jake as they watched over you one night. "She never met her mom, she never met her dad, she's always sick, now she's going to die and it's because of me"

"She isn't going to die" Jake interjects.

Lo'ak shook his head, staring at his hands. "I heard Max and Norm, Dad, they said if she didn't wake up soon she'd be in a ve-vegetitative state forever" He managed, as his breathing became more ragged. "I didn't know what they meant but then Spider told me... and- and I don't want that to happen Dad, she's only 8, she hadn't even reached the- the two number age yet an-and she's going to die and it's all my fault"

Jake places a hand over Lo'aks shoulder. "Look son, don't let your guilt eat away at you, everything happens for a greater reason. Y/N wouldn't want to see you so down in the dumps all of a sudden would she? No, she wants to see you happy-"

A fat tear rolls down Lo'ak's cheek. "-But it's so hard to be happy dad," He sniffled, looking up at Jake with glossy eyes. "I just want her to wake up, I don't want her to go yet" He sobbed, rolling his hands into fists as he wipes the tears from his eyes. "I don't wanna pretend I'm happy, I don't want to keep hoping she's coming back, I want her to come back now" Lo'ak wailed.

Jake takes Lo'ak's shuddering body into his arms, letting him cry on his chest as he placates him, running a hand over his head as he looks at you, so pale, so still, lying on the gurney with a tube sticking out of your mouth and wires attached to your arms, the soft beeping of the machine and the wheezing of your breathing apparatus.

"Yeah, so do I"

Ironically enough, eclipse started to dawn on you when your father called all of you back to your Marui for a family meeting, much to Lo'ak's chagrin.

"Remember?" Neteyam admonishes, grabbing Lo'ak's arm and pulling him inside the pod. "Family meeting?"

"Alright, come on, take a knee let's go"

You do as he says, glancing at your big brothers who followed suite.

"Okay," Jake begins. "I need you kids on your best behavior" He says, his accent slipping through.

"I mean it, learn fast, pull your weight" He looks at Lo'ak. "Don't cause trouble" Then, he looks at you. "Got it?"

You couldn't help but sigh. "Yes sir"

You ears pick up on sniffling from your left, you turn your head and see Tuk crying. "I want to go home" She says, wiping her eyes with her wrists.

"Tuk," your Dad began, taking her little hand in his. "This is our home now, okay? We're gunna get through this, we do this, we have eachother's backs"

"What does your father always say?"

You resist rolling your eyes at the catchphrase that comes to mind. "Sullys stick together" You mumbled, quieter than your brothers.

"That's right, Sullys stick together, now this time with some feeling"

On Eywa. "Sullys stick together" You say with your brothers.

"Alright" says your father, seemingly satisfied. "Dismissed"

You all stand up, Tuk and Kiri getting out of the hut first, your older sister convincing your youngest sister that if she stopped crying they could go play in the shallow water and find seashells, this instilled a bright spark in Tuk as she began jumping in joy in no time.

You decide to hang out with your brothers again, just like what you had been doing before you've all been called into the pod.

"Y/N, hang back for a sec"

This makes all 3 of you stop walking, your brothers turn to you and you nod at them in acknowledgement, pointing your chin towards the beach. Neteyam nods as well, heading out, Lo'ak touches your forearm before he follows Neteyam.

You turn to Jake who places an arm on your shoulder, leading you towards one of the driftwood stumps that acted as chairs.

He looks at you, peering over his amber eyes. "What's up Lite Brite? You doing okay?"

You wince at that nickname, the nickname your father called you ever since you were a kid, even before you were Na'vi. "I'm fine" You insist.

"Hey, don't lie to your old man"

"I'm not" You insist, looking down at the floor.

"I know it's a lot of change baby," He began, you turn to look at him. "It's a lot to deal with at the moment but you're strong, I know you are"

You let out a scoff of disbelief making Jake chuckle in confusion. "What?"

"You kept telling me that when I was a kid you don't need to keep telling me now"

"The advice I give ain't half bad kid, you gotta learn that it wouldn't be a bad idea to start listening to me once in a while, yeah?"

"Yeah" You smile, ducking your head.

Your Dad grinned, tussling your hair. "Yeah" He replied fondly. "You're my strong little lady"

"Should we just... follow them in?"

You were the first one to stop leaning over the diving platform to look at your brothers, specifically to Neteyam who had been standing on your right. "Well yeah, unless you're too much of a pussy to jump in"

He looks up and laughs, walking up to you to place both his hands on your shoulders. "If you're so keen on following them in baby sis, maybe you would like to go in first?"

You shrug his hands off, pushing his chest away from you as he cackles. "Not a chance, jackass"

"It's only fair Y/N" Lo'ak chimes in. "They're gunna be wondering why we took so long to follow them"

You groan, your shoulders slumping. "On Eywa, when will I ever catch a break?"

"Hey, Y/N what is that?" Lo'ak asks, pointing at the water.

"What's what?"

"There!" He exclaims, pointing at it again. "It's right there! Can't you see it?"

You frown, leaning further into the dock, trying to scan the water for anything that your brother might be pointing at. "I don't see anything"

You tried to turn around to look at Lo'ak but you feel Lo'ak's arms wrap around you, feeling the both of you fall over the dock and into the water, Neteyam following shortly afterward. You swim up to Lo'ak to tug at his ear, a swarm of bubbles escaping Neteyam's mouth as he laughs. The three of you spot shadows coming from above you and try to swim away before Kiri or Tuk body slams into you.

You swim after the Metkayina kids into the reef but soon after you feel your lungs start to burn. You look at your siblings, already swimming up to the surface, you try and follow them up, gasping for air once your head broke the water. Once you all managed to catch your breath you dip your heads into the water again, seeing Tsireya smile up at you, doing something with her hands. You frown and you shrug at her, turning to your siblings for support but realizing they had no clue what she was saying either. Watching as they swam up to the surface to join you.

"You're too fast, wait for us!" Tuk wailed, rubbing at her eye.

"Just breathe" says Tsireya.

"You are not good divers" Ao'nung intones. "Maybe good at swinging through trees but-" He stops to laugh at his own joke but was quickly silenced when Tsireya slaps the side of his head.

"Come on bro" Lo'ak groaned, turning to look at Neteyam, almost as if he was waiting for him to say something.

"We don't speak this finger talk" says Neteyam. "We don't know what you're saying"

"I will teach you" Tsireya tells him.

"Where is Kiri?" Rotxo suddenly wonders. Everyone starts looking for her, calling for her, except for Ao'nung who was too busy looking at his reflection in the water to know who Kiri was.

What a fucking parrot.

It was the second month of you in a coma when you start crashing all of a sudden, your usually quiet room now had several scientists running in and out trying to bring you back for it was a win lose situation, if they played their cards right they might be able to stabilize you and keep you in your medically induced coma or they might just lose you altogether.

It was Jake who decided to tell Norm and Max to transfer you into an Avatar body, the Avatar body they've been building for you since your 1st birthday.

It evened out the odds a little bit when they found a heartbeat in your new body, they rushed you out of the lab and brought you to the Tree of Souls, Jake knowing all too well where he's seen this before. Mo'at was reluctant, she's seen how frail you were, how weak you were as a child, she did not want to keep Jake's hopes up when things didn't go the way he wanted it to. So they waited, and waited, and waited, hoping that you were strong enough to pass through the Eye of Eywa.

And you were.

Just barely.

Ever since then you'd been living with Jake and Neytiri, having your own hammock, taming your ikran, not needing to wear shoes which was fun now that Norm and Max weren't yelling at you every 10 seconds to put some on, it felt nice that you could catch up to Lo'ak and Neteyam, that you didn't have to catch your breath every so often, that you could learn how to fight.

Your human self would never be able to survive breathing training with the Metkayina, let alone with Ao'nung.

The next day bright and early, you, your siblings, the Olo'eyktan's children, and Rotxo all met up at the beach per the agreement the night prior. Tsireya had paired herself up with Lo'ak and Tuk, paired Rotxo with Kiri and Neteyam, leaving you and Ao'nung.

"I do not understand what I am doing wrong" you huffed, ridding your face of water.

"Everything " Ao'nung replies. "Everything you are doing is wrong "

"I'm breathing from my gut like you told me to, I'm calming my mind like you told me to, is there a possibility that you might just be a shit teacher?"

He rolls his eyes. "Attitude won't help you here, Forest Girl"

Your eyes widen a centimeter in half-shock. "Oh and you will?"

"Just shut up and try again" He snapped, nodding at the seabed. "Go on" He insists when he sees your irritated expression.

You huff again. "If I pass out and don't make it back up it's going to be your fault"

Ao'nung gives you a smile. "Good, the world could use a little less of you anyway"

You wanted to roll your eyes at him but decided not to. With an inhale, an exhale, and a bigger inhale you dive down again, trying to feel as calm and as free as possible, maneuvering yourself through the schools of fish to reach the seabed quicker, but a troupe of the jellyfish looking creatures started to block your path towards the reef, you tried swimming up, no go, you decide to swim under them but you were too afraid to get stung, your only option was to wait them out but once your chest started to feel like it was about to cave in on itself you defeatedly swam up to the surface, gasping for air.

"I can't- I can't do it" you manage, feeling the tumultuos rise and fall of your chest as it yearned for air, hearing Ao'nung's despondent groaning.

"Are you even trying?" He exclaimed.

"I am!" You retalliate tiredly, rubbing your eyes as it stung from the salt.

"Then act like it!" He yelled. "It's bad enough I am stuck teaching a bunch of half-breeds I have to be paired with the densest most incompetent student ever"

You couldn't help the scoff that left your lips; you couldn't believe you had to deal with some snotty airhead when you could've had someone as understanding as Rotxo or as sweet as Tsireya. "do the world a favour and go fuck yourself"

Ao'nung narrows his eyes at you. "I've seen newborns breathe better underwater than you"

"Keep running your mouth like that and I'll stop you from breathing forever" You threatened him acidly.

"I'd like to see you try"

You cock your head to the side. "Don't threaten me with a good time"

Just then, Ao'nung sighs greatly at you, raising his hand above the water to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Look, Forest Girl, are you afraid?"

You blinked. Then you blink again. You open your mouth to retaliate with some witty comeback but no sound left your lips, you shut it closed, trying to save whatever was able to salvage of your dignity. "I'm not afraid" you finally tell him.

"If you aren't afraid then diving would be easy for you, fear is clouding your mind, it is holding you back" He reasoned with you, for a second you almost believed that you weren't talking to a boy that looked like a radioactive frog, he was actually starting to make sense. It frightened you. "Nothing will come at you stupid girl, we are too close to the shore to be near real danger"

There it was.

"So i just... need to grow some balls and do it?"

Ao'nung's face contorts. "Grow... what? "

"Dosen't matter" You quickly reply, hoping he'd learn to brush it off.

"Try again," Ao'nung starts. "Remember to calm yourself Forest Girl, there will not be anything to hurt you here, the way of water has no beginning and no end, the sea is around you and in you. Remember that"

You nod reluctantly, turning your gaze to the distorted seabed below you.

He peers over his eyes to look at you. "What... do you want me to hold your hand on the way down?"

You give him a look. "No thanks... I might contract some disease"

He laughs. "Then go"

You take a big breath and dive again, feeling yourself being one with the sea, gliding and drifting, keeping your mind blank as you finally reached the reef, propelling yourself through the mounds of coral that grew from the sand. You were able to spot the shell that Ao'nung threw into the water this morning, quickly snatching it and swimming up to the surface, feeling the sunlight pepper your skin as you resurfaced.

"I did it! I did it!" You exclaim, waving the shell in Ao'nung's face as you hear him laugh, loud and raucous, only fueling the triumphant fire that roared in your chest.

"I'm impressed" He says, taking the shell from you, your fingertips feathering over the other. "Maybe you aren't so incompetent after all"

You feel a small smile stretching across your face. "Maybe not"

part 1 done! wow that was real fun to write, anyways stay tuned for part 2! Hope u enjoyed <3

#ao'nung x fem!reader #metkayina #omaticaya #jake sully #neytiri #ao'nung fic #ao'nung x reader #ao'nung x you #tsireya #neteyam #spider #lo'ak #tuk #kiri #rotxo #atwow #atwow ao'nung #avatar the way of water

[grendelsmilf]

i don't think the candy queen is literally pb cursed by the crown, but the winter king projecting his personality as shaped by the curse onto her. that's why she was so set on kidnapping a lover, why she played the keyboard, etc. and the winter king took aspects of her personality (the lab, the clones, even training fionna). i think if pb were cursed by the OG crown, her fixation would still be on her family/kingdom, but she'd be tyrannical- like the fandom flanderizes her as

you know, that is a very cogent point. it does seem like whatever wk did he basically swapped pbs “essence” with ik’s essence (i say ik not simon for obvious reasons). like, no offense to simon, but the tech in his lab is not the kind of thing his mind could produce, even at his “best” with 100 years to work out the kinks (look, simon is a smart guy, but pb is a genius. The genius, even). the way he created sentient citizens out of biomass, as well as ice, also indicates that he had pb’s knowledge, as that’s not the kind of thing the crown could actually accomplish.

he’s also a lot colder than simon, or even ice king (pardon the pun). he’s “logical” and “detached” (aka repressed and callous) in the way pb copes with loss, trauma, and anxiety. “yeah, i haven’t thought about her in years,” is the kind of thing pb would say about marcy while sniffing her shirt every morning, not the kind of thing simon would ever say about betty.

his willingness to engage in unethical experiments (like creating baby marceline as a “replacement”), his desire to create a perfect kingdom, his innovation, intelligence, callousness, repression, and external perfection are all bubblegum traits that he somehow subsumed in their transfer, while pb became a pastiche of ice king, who still maintained some of her scientific aptitude, but not in any way that mattered.

i also think she was so intent on blending winter king into a cake with her because she somehow subconsciously knew that she needed to regain her original essence that he had stolen from her, and in her insane state, could only communicate that through literally blending them up together like cake batter.

realizing this makes what winter king did to bonnie even more fucked up, because he didn’t just transfer his crazy onto her, he literally robbed her of her genius, personality, and vision, and then used her mind to maintain her debased state for a century (although the fact that it indicates how fucked in the morals pb is in the first place that this is what simon becomes when consuming her essence problematizes that notion considerably). i wonder if it’s an experiment that went wrong, and pb was initially trying to help him regain his sanity. either way, the fact that simon prime was so empathetic and concerned for candy queen is a pretty good indication that winter king is not, in fact, a “more wonderful” version of simon petrikov, but someone else entirely.

#ask #anon #at ramblings #fionna and cake #i wonder what pb + crown would ACTUALLY look like #probably a lot like betty #still very intelligent but also inconsiderate and tormented #but this isn’t that #they ice kingified pb and bonnified simon #no wonder fionna was so into both wk and pb #she was just into pb all along lmaoo #which is very finncore of her let’s face it #thank u for this ask. truly #mind blown !!!

[humorisstoredinthetits]

Random Heathers Headcannons

These all take place in an AU where JD be more chill and decides that murder and slushies are not in fact the best ways to deal with mental illness and goes see a therapist, also Modern Times and PolyHeathers+V

The Heathers + Veronica have lots of money after Chandler and Duke's parents die in a "freak accident"

So maybe JD didn't fully shed his homicidal tendencies, just turned them on people who actually deserved it bc they were all shitty people who traumatized people he begrudgingly cares about

Big Bud Dean also mysteriously dies around this time in a freak accident involving being in a building right before it blows up

Being the only children of rich assholes whose family abandoned them for petty rich people reasons means they inherit the mansions and money, meaning the four of them can live in peace and don't have to get jobs unless they really want to

Veronica decides to write, since she doesn't have to worry about making it in the real world she can focus on her passion projects

Mac works with her Dad, who is alive because he did not contribute to her issues, that would be how society fails to meet the needs of autistic people, especially in education

She eventually is going to take over the engagement ring business, which is a pretty decent amount of income on top of their massive fortune

She also volunteers at animal shelters in her free time bc she loves animals

Duke initially says screw jobs but she quickly gets bored and decides to go into Child Psychology, she wants to help kids who were like her and had nowhere and no one to turn to, and help those in abusive situations to get out of them, bc JD can't just murder all of the abusive parents in the world, as great as that would be

Chandler thinks they are all crazy for taking jobs when they don't have to, but she gets bored as well waiting for them to get home so she starts doing all the chores

What she thought would originally be meaningless busywork actually becomes fun for her

It turns out she likes to cook, which is good bc if she didn't her gfs would would subsist entirely on hot pockets and coffee

She learns how to bake and the rest of them would often come home to fresh cupcakes or cookies

She also takes up gardening, which surprises her bc she thought she would hate having to get all up in the dirt

She's always buying different kinds of flowers to plant in the yard

Obviously she gets the most of heathers, duh

It feels like a final fuck you to her parents, who wanted her to become a rich asshole like the rest of their family

They sell the Duke residence to JD, Betty and Martha for cheap bc they don't need 2 houses (and bc they feel bad about how they treated them) while they all move into the Chandler Mansion

Life is chaotic as hell, but they all love it

Everyone besides Mac is a Night Owl, she has to drag them to bed at a reasonable hour otherwise they would stay up all night

They cannot function without their morning coffee

They occasionally play games, but this always turns out horribly

Take the Mario Party Incident for example

Mac just wanted them to all play together and have fun, so she booted up Mario Party, quickly forgetting how competitive Duke and Chandler are

They scream at each other the entire time, Veronica gives up around Round 4 and throws

At the end Chandler has the most stars, but Duke somehow gets all 3 bonus stars and ends up winning

Chandler fucking throws her controller through the TV

She sleeps on the couch that night

Or the time they tried to play Monopoly, but Duke set the board on fire after landing on Chandler's property with 3 hotels

Mac really wants to get a pet, she loves animals and there's plenty at the shelter waiting to be adopted

Duke is the holdout, she hates furry animals, but relents when she can get a snake

Veronica brings her cat JFK from her parent's place, Chandler gets a Maine Coon who only likes Mac and will hiss at everyone else, Mac gets a rabbit bc she loves them, they're just so tiny and fluffy and cute, and Duke gets a ball python

Chandler tried so hard to get the cat to like her, buying her all these toys and shit, but she'll always go to Mac for attention and hiss whenever Chandler gets close

Chandler hates the snake, in reality she's just scared, a fact which Duke takes full advantage of, like after the monopoly incident

Chandler goes to put on her war paint (makeup) when everyone hears a scream

Chandler is hiding in the corner, shaking at the sight of this small little ball python sitting in the cabinet

Duke is a chaos gremlin

Duke also sleeps on the couch that day

Veronica is a weeb and will binge anime all day if she has nothing else to do

She finds this one called I'm In Love With The Villainess bc one of the characters, Claire, looks a hell of alot like Chandler

She forces the Heathers to sit down and watch it with her, and they all agree Chandler is literally Claire

She starts calling Veronica 'commoner' after that

#heather chandler #heather duke #heather mcnamara #heathers #heathers the musical #veronica sawyer #heathers headcannons #poly!heathers+veronica

[swearyshera]

So we are at the end of the road on something that has always been about the journey, not the destination.  I’ve taken my time to gather some thoughts.  This blog has meant a lot to many people, not the least of which is me.  I’ve had a hard time these last few years – I think it’s been hard times for everyone, in one way or another.  Personally, I seem to remember discovering this blog not too long before I had a breakdown and handled it very poorly, making bad decisions that cost me a lot of friends, or at least people whom I thought were my friends up until a breaking point.  (Your blog was unrelated to this).  When I came out of hospitalization I had a few things to rely upon – a video therapy group was one, certain family members and, well, as silly as it sounds, hitting up tumblr for my daily dose of Sweary She-Ra to make me laugh. And then in mid-January, 2023, one of the people who was closest to me in my entire life died suddenly of technically unknown cause but considering his health issues, probably a heart-issue. It was sudden and devastating.  We shared She-Ra and the Princesses of Power together because he was kind of curious about it and I was a nostalgia-fan of the ‘80s series.  We both became massive fans of Entrapta.  In fact, my nephew / best friend got me into the fandom in the first place because he had a silly idea for a fanfic about Entrapta wrecking havoc in the Fright Zone just post first-season and had little confidence in his fanfic writing, but decided to pass along said idea to me, an inveterate fic-writer for many fandoms.  I was put through the wringer this year – it’s the first time I’ve been in partial charge of a memorial service.  I am feeling better now than I did at the beginning of this year because I’ve found the strength to keep doing things that he and I liked to do together and time helps.  And again, in all of this, I had a silly little comic where a sparkly purple princess calls people “twattingler,” others make liberal use of the word that originally meant Fornication Under Consent of the King, one character swears all the time but apologizes for it, one character is contractually obligated to use Ned Flanders style cursing and there’s a fourth wall breaker and an incompetent boss with indecipherable accent and Marxist unicorns and all the rest.  No matter what was happening with my emotions I could just… take a little break and look at the funny fancomic.  Sweary She-Ra for me has been like a warm mug of tea on a cold day or a bowl of baked macaroni and cheese with a butter-cracker crust made out of the old 1960-70 something Betty Crocker cookbook.  It’s been Internet comfort food that has been sorely needed at times.  So thank you.  I just want to thank you for this funny little fan project.  I don’t think you have any idea how much it has meant to your audience.  @freedfromthegalactichivemind

And I don't know if the audience has any idea how much it has meant to me!

When I started this, things were pretty shit, weren't they? Here in the UK we'd just come out of the second Covid Lockdown, with the third expected to happen imminently; the weather was miserable, we'd barely seen our friends in months, the world in general just sucked. And I'd love to say that I felt a calling to break through that with some humour, but no... it was nothing like that. This is what happened...

And so it all went from there.

I almost just went for random scenes as I thought of them, rather than starting from the beginning. But I thought "Eh, fuck it, let's see how far I get", and the rest is history.

Even as the storylines got more complex (bear in mind, I started purely with the intention to do the original script with a few swear words peppered in), I always wanted to keep things upbeat. The painful moments are those 'this is the good stuff, hurt me more' moments rather than actually horrifying things - I know there's been a couple of exceptions, but in general it's held true.

But I've always been driven by one thing - the world isn't very funny right now; it's stressful, sometimes downright terrifying. And if I can alleviate that for ten, twenty seconds per day and make that tiny bit of difference to someone, then I consider that a job done. I'm not out here claiming to have the cure for depression, or some kind of plan to save the world, but I (hopefully) can make a few people smile in the midst of all the shit that's happening, even if it's just for a moment.

So much has changed in the last three years, but this blog has been such a central part of my world, it'll be weird when it's over (maybe that's why I don't want to stop there!). But if this coming Friday really is the last chapter in this part of my life, I'll still be happy that it happened. And if you've ever smiled or laughed at the blog, I'm happy that happened as well.

#sweary she-ra origin story

[smilingformoney]

Sharing Part III | Lionel/Reader/Eli

These two have taken over my brain send help

Now with surprise appearance from Sinclair and Betty!

Read on Ao3 or below the cut:

Apparently luck was on Lionel’s side, because a month or so later - during which time your flirting hadn’t ceased one bit - you were on your way to London.

It wasn’t for the best of reasons - you discovered on Thursday night that your uncle back in England had died and the funeral was on Monday, so you were very suddenly trying to book flights and accommodation at the last minute.

You: Urgent. Cheapest way to get last-minute tickets to London?

Lionel: Are you that desperate for me?

You: Family stuff. Any tips?

Lionel: When do you need to leave?

You: ASAP. Family thing is on Monday.

Lionel: I’ll sort it. Hold tight.

You: My hero ❤️

Less than twelve hours later, you were at the airport with a boarding pass Lionel had emailed to you. He had apologised profusely that you were flying commercial - apparently he had a private jet, because of course he did - but at the very least he’d managed to secure you a business class ticket.

Business class was fancy. You were generously paid by your university - far more than a literature professor should, even if you had a doctorate - but things like flight class upgrades were luxuries you’d never seen the value in.

But you might just change your mind on that. There was no way you could go back to being packed into economy like sardines now that you’d experienced the luxury of business class.

You were almost disappointed when the plane landed in London and you had to get off, but at least your dual nationality meant you could get through immigration quickly with your British passport. Lionel had told you to expect a driver to be waiting, so when you saw a man holding a sign bearing your name, you introduced yourself to him and let him take your bags to the car.

Even the car was a luxury. Lionel had really gone all out for you - but, then again, the man was filthy stinking rich. This was probably the minimum standard for him.

The driver pulled into the underground car park for a fancy-looking building, which you presumed to be your hotel, which was no doubt also very fancy and far too expensive.

He took you and your bags to a lift within the car park and handed you a key, telling you to use it to take you straight to number 69.

You wondered if Lionel had picked that room number intentionally. Probably.

The lift ascended, and you felt extremely out of place. Even the damn lift was fancy! And here you were in your baggy, worn out flying clothes. If anyone saw you, they’d probably think you’d snuck in and try to kick you out.

The lift finally reached its destination and you stepped out directly into the room, which could only be described as an entire apartment. What sort of fancy hotel had direct lift access to the rooms?

Your question was answered when you turned your head and saw the artwork on the wall.

It wasn’t a hotel room at all. It was Lionel’s penthouse.

“Fucking bastard, Lionel,” you muttered under your breath.

“Is that any way to address your host?”

Sure enough, Lionel was descending the stairs, an animal-print robe wrapped loosely around his torso, leaving just enough of a gap that you could see his chest hair poking out.

You’d sworn you’d wait at least to say hello before you jumped him, but… fuck it. You met him at the bottom of the stairs and your lips were on his instantly.

You felt him smiling into the kiss as his arms snaked around your back, one hand cupping your arse. He pushed against you lightly, and you were like putty in his hands, immediately falling back against the wall, allowing him to trap your body against his.

“I hope you don’t mind if I don’t wine and dine you first,” he growled in your ear as your kisses moved up his jawline. “I’ve been waiting far too long to have you.”

“God, no, fuck that. Take me out later. Right now I just need you to take me.”

You could feel his erection pressing up against you, his robe threatening to come apart, and of fucking course he wasn’t wearing any underpants. You grabbed clumsily against his chest as you tried to open his robe, and Lionel chuckled.

“Not here, love. I have quite a comfortable bed I think you’d much prefer over the wall.”

“We could be behind the fucking bins at Taco Bell, I wouldn’t care. I just - just fucking need you, Lionel - fuck, please —“ You muttered your pleas between kisses on his neck, and Lionel moaned when your teeth grazed his skin.

“Ohh, yes, I’ll take you, [Y/n]. You won’t ever want to leave London again - you won’t want to leave my bed again. You’ve entered the lion’s den now, love. Prepare to be… devoured.”

He pulled away from you slightly, causing you to gasp in surprise at the sudden absence of his skin against your lips, and he gestured for you to lead up the stairs.

“Looking for a view of my ass?” you teased.

He smacked your left cheek for that.

“If I want to see your arse, I know you’ll show me. I don’t need to trick you. Here - this room on the left.”

“How many bedrooms do you have?”

“Only five.”

Only?

You always thought your apartment was a bit big for one person. Lionel was one person too, and yet the master bedroom he was leading you into was bigger than your entire apartment.

You’d be disgusted at the obscene wealth if you weren’t so horny.

You were still gaping at the size of the bedroom when Lionel wrapped his arms around you from behind, and you felt his erection pressing into your ass. He slipped one hand into your pants and you gasped at the sudden intrusion as he cupped your pussy with his large hand.

“I’m going to fuck you until you forget how to walk,” he growled in your ear seductively.

“Please,” you begged, throwing your head back onto his shoulder as his fingers began teasing at your folds. His other hand slipped under your t-shirt and grabbed at your breast, causing you to gasp when he squeezed your nipple.

“Gah - fuck - please, Lionel - please fuck me, please, please, please —“

He smirked as he placed a kiss to your jaw.

“Do you not need foreplay? Or is my lioness hungry already?”

“We’ve had months of foreplay, Lionel. I’m done waiting.”

“Mmm… I suppose you’re right. Get naked and get on the bed.”

“Yes, sir.”

You almost stumbled over your own feet to get to the bed and undress at the same time, and Lionel just laughed.

“I knew you’d be eager. That’s why I didn’t bother getting dressed.”

He dropped his robe, and just as you’d suspected, he was stark naked underneath.

“Where are your condoms?” you asked.

“In the drawer.”

You reached over into his bedside cabinet, and stifled a giggle when you saw his box of condoms was right next to a copy of the Karma Sutra.

“There are a lot of fun positions in there we can try,” Lionel said when he saw you looking. He took the condom from you and began to roll it down his shaft. You watched his movements, practically drooling at his cock. “But we’ll experiment later. For now, I want to see your face as I fuck you for the first time.”

Lionel climbed on top of you and kissed you, hard and passionate, as if the only air he could breathe was that from your lungs. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, clinging onto him desperately, your hips bucking up towards him in a desperate plea.

He unstuck his face from yours, both of you panting for air, and Lionel looked at you with a surprising amount of tenderness.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, and with a swift thrust he slipped inside you.

You both groaned in relief, months of sexual tension finally paying off. He fit perfectly - just the right amount of stretch, and when he bottomed out, you could feel his tip pressing snugly against your G-spot.

He paused once he was sheathed inside you, his eyes closed as he savoured the feeling of being buried inside you.

“Lionel…”

He grunted in response, his eyes flickering open to look at you with a wild lust in his eyes.

“Devour me.”

Lionel grinned and his eyes flashed dangerously.

“With pleasure, love.”

He set a brutal pace, and you had to hold onto him to stop yourself from being thrown around on the bed - not that that was an unpleasurable idea, but for now you liked being sandwiched between his body and the mattress as his hips rammed into you as if he was trying to hammer you into the bed.

“You’re right, we don’t need foreplay,” Lionel said smugly as he lifted himself into a kneeling position, keeping his brutal pace going the whole time. “You’re soaked.”

“I’ve been wet for you f - for months, Lionel - ah!” You squeaked when his hand reached between your bodies and he began rubbing your clit with his thumb, just adding to the anguishing pleasure you felt burning through you, and you wondered if he’d consulted his Karma Sutra on how to pleasure the clit just right - either that or he was just a natural at pleasuring women.

“You know, I fucked Polly from accounts last week and - ugh - the whole time I thought of you. You’ve - mhm - you’ve ruined other women for me, love. Even before I’d had you. And now I have - hahhhh - now I have, I’m afraid they’ll all pale in comparison.”

You grinned cheekily. “That’s what they all say.”

Lionel’s grip on your thigh tightened, and he shook his head.

“I mean it. Fuck. Even your tits are perfect.” He eyed them hungrily, watching the way they bounced with each of his thrusts, the way your chest shuddered slightly with each moan. He increased the pace of his thumb on your clit, and you cried out.

“Lionel!”

Your hands gripped the sheets, desperate for some sort of purchase as your whole body shook with each of Lionel’s thrusts. You were close, you knew it, and when you felt the familiar flame burning inside you, you knew there was no stopping it.

“Lionel, I - I’m gonna cum, I —-“

“Yes, love, that’s it, cum on my cock - let me hear you —“

“Oh god, Lionel… Lionel!”

You screamed his name as you came, your muscles spasming and your walls clenching tight around his length. Lionel gritted his teeth, a low rumble building in his chest, and your name tumbled out of his mouth as he came, cock pulsing, and you were hit with a desire to feel him fill you with his seed.

He held your hips flush against his, his cock twitching inside you as he panted, his brain empty and dizzy with nothing but the bliss of you.

After a few moments, Lionel pulled out of you and you reluctantly climbed out of the bed to go to the bathroom. When you came back, Lionel had discarded his condom but had made no effort to put his clothes back on. He beckoned you towards him, a satisfied smirk on his face, and you clamboured under the blankets with him.

Lionel wrapped an arm around you and held you close, as if without your body heat he would freeze.

“Hello,” he mumbled with a chuckle.

“Hi.”

You both laughed.

“How was your flight?” Lionel asked, adjusting himself slightly on the bed so he could look at you and hold you at the same time.

“Amazing. I didn’t want to get off. I’ve never flown business before.”

“Really? Much better than first, isn’t it?”

You scoffed. “Lionel, I’ve never flown anything other than economy.”

“What?” he said incredulously. “Packed in like sardines with god knows who?”

“Well, sometimes I use my flying points to upgrade to economy plus.”

“Outrageous. That university should be paying you far more if you feel you have to slum it in economy.”

“I teach literature, Lionel. Nobody cares about literature. The money’s in science.”

“Nonsense, the arts are extremely important!”

“You’re only saying that because you run a media company. You need us artists, or you wouldn’t have anything to sell.”

“First of all, I run multiple media companies —“

“Oh, sorry, of course.”

“— and second, I run them because I believe art is important. So brilliant people like you can continue creating. You’re welcome.”

You laughed, and you were about to respond when your phone began ringing from where you’d tossed it on the floor when getting undressed.

Lionel, who had a better view of the phone, peered over at it.

“Pfft, you’ve barely landed and Michaelson misses you already.”

“I’ve barely landed and you’re fucking me already.”

Lionel grinned. “That’s true.” He leant out of the bed to grab the ringing phone and tossed it to you. “Go on, better not keep Daddy waiting.”

You rolled your eyes at him and answered the phone.

“Hi, Eli.”

“[Y/n], where are you? I’ve come to your office and you’re not here.”

“No, I’m off today.”

“Off? Why didn’t you tell me? Are you sick?”

“Yes, off. I didn’t tell you because it was last-minute and you’re not my keeper. And no, I’m not sick.”

“Well, when are you coming back?”

“Erm - I’m not sure, actually. Lionel, when’s my flight back?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t booked it yet.”

“Lionel?” Eli repeated down the phone, flabbergasted. “You took off at the last minute to see Lionel?”

“No, of course not! I had to get to London quickly and —“

“Yes, I’m sure you did. I thought you were a professional, [Y/n]. I can’t believe you booked the day off work to fly to London for a shag, as you lot like to call it —“

“Eli! Will you shut up? My uncle died, dickhead, his funeral’s on Monday. Lionel was kind enough to get me a last-minute flight and put me up for the weekend.”

“Oh, yeah? Fucked him yet?”

“What’s it to you?”

“I knew it! Barely off the plane and you’re already spreading your legs.”

“Put him on loudspeaker,” Lionel muttered to you. You sighed and did so, hoping if they hashed it out quickly it’d be over sooner.

“Michaelson! You need to learn to share, mate. You both made it clear you’re not a couple, so what’s your problem? Or are you only interested in fidelity when it’s one-way? Speaking of which, found any more bastards lately?”

“Ah, fuck off, Shabandar. [Y/n], you better get back soon as you can. You’re in for a hell of a punishment.”

He hung up.

“Prat,” Lionel spat. “Does he always speak to you like that?”

“He’s an asshole, sure, but he’s not usually that bad. He’s just - well, not jealous, I don’t think. I think he’s just annoyed because he likes the idea that he’s fucking multiple women but I’m only fucking him.” You paused. “Aw, man, I’m just a replacement for his ex-wife, ain’t I?”

“You are a lot of things, [Y/n], but you’re certainly no one’s wife.”

“Damn straight.” You tossed the phone aside and leant back into Lionel’s arms. He smiled and held you happily, both of you glad you could finally feel one another’s warmth.

“Have you ever been married, Lionel?” you asked absentmindedly.

“No. Never found a woman I’d want to commit to.”

“So you’re too much of a man whore?”

Lionel chuckled, and you could feel his deep laugh reverberating through his chest.

“Precisely. Just like you’re too much of a slut. Would you marry either one of us if it meant you could never have the other?”

“You’re rich, so yes, I’d marry you.”

“So shallow, [Y/n]!” Lionel said in mock surprise. “Have you been flirting with me all this time just to get to my wallet?”

“No, the other thing in your pants. But the hefty wallet’s pretty nice too.”

Lionel smiled and kissed the top of your head surprisingly gently. “Did you want to get dinner tonight? It’s on me and my hefty wallet. Anything you need while you’re here is on me.”

“Hmm… I’ll be honest with you, I’m not too keen on putting any more clothes on today.”

“Good point, nor am I. We’ll order in, then, and tomorrow we’ll go out for lunch. I have a charity event tomorrow night if you’re interested. Very fancy party, lots of rich people mingling and writing generous cheques to show how rich and altruistic they are. I’m sure you’ll find yourself a rich husband there.”

“I doubt anything I’ve packed will be suitable —“

“Then I’ll buy you a dress in the afternoon, after we go out for lunch. Please say you’ll come, [Y/n], these things are horrifically boring. I’m richer than everyone else there, so their displays of wealth are so tedious.”

You turned your head to look up at him with a smirk. “Why would I go looking for a rich husband at this party if I’m already fucking the richest man there?”

“So you can fob him off to fuck me instead.”

You laughed, then turned around to throw a leg over his lap, straddling him, his half-erect cock pressing against your thigh.

“I seem to recall you saying you always get what you want, so do I really have a choice here?”

Lionel grinned. “You’re a quick learner.”

“You think? Let me see how quickly I can learn the best way to ride you…”

***

It was very, very dangerous how much you were enjoying spending time with Lionel. From waking up to his face between your legs, to lunch at a fancy restaurant and shopping in the afternoon, you could definitely get used to being spoilt.

And on top of treating you well, he was good company too. He was witty and he had a way of making you feel comfortable with him, even in unfamiliar surroundings. You bonded over a mutual love of all things artistic - not just paintings, as were his passion, and literature, as was yours, but you had similar tastes in theatre, music and cinema.

When it was time to leave for the charity event, you met Lionel at the bottom of the stairs where he was standing looking out the window as he waited for you in a perfectly fitted tux, which was no doubt tailor-made.

“Well, don’t you look handsome!” you said, eyes raking up and down his body, containing the urge to rip the tuxedo off him.

Lionel turned around, and his eyebrows shot up in surprise when he saw you.

“Wow, [Y/n]…”

“Do I look alright? I wasn’t sure what to do with my hair, so I figured I’d just curl it —“

“You’re beautiful.”

He said it so suddenly, so sincerely, that it made you blush.

“Oh - erm - thank you. I won’t look out of place?”

Lionel shook his head incredulously and approached you to wrap his arm around your waist.

“Darling, you’ll stick out like a sore thumb only because you’ll outshine them all. All eyes will be on the most beautiful woman in the room.”

“Lionel, stop it, you’re making me blush!” you giggled, but you loved to hear such sweet words coming from him.

“And you still look beautiful with your cheeks glowing red. Shall we, then?” He offered you his arm.

“Yes, let’s,” you said, taking his arm gratefully and allowing him to guide you to the elevator.

The party might have been tedious to Lionel, but you were having a great time. He introduced you to so many people that you lost track, but you did meet a few famous faces you were a little starstruck by.

“Ah, and here’s my cousin, late as usual!” Lionel announced as a man around his age, bearing some resemblance to him, arrived with a smile on his face and a slightly younger woman on his arm, who looked just as nervous to be there as you were.

“Lionel!” the cousin announced cheerily. “Good to see you, cuz!”

He wrapped his arms around Lionel in a big bear hug, which Lionel tolerated with a pat on the back before stepping back.

“[Y/n], this is Sinclair Bryant, my cousin. As you can already tell, he has no respect for decorum or timekeeping.”

If Sinclair heard the insult, he showed no sign of it, as he was still beaming as if seeing Lionel was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

“[Y/n]? How lovely to meet you! You know, our great-great-grandmother was called [Y/n], wasn’t she, Lionel?”

Lionel shrugged. “Was she? I wouldn’t know. Sinclair has the family history memorised,” he explained to you, “along with every other fact known to man.”

He turned his attention to Sinclair’s companion and smiled, a familiar twinkle in his eye, and a twist in your stomach suddenly reminded you of Eli. You hadn’t heard from him since last night’s phone call.

“And Elizabeth, looking lovely as always, dear.” Lionel took Elizabeth’s hand and kissed it with a flirtatious smile, and she blushed.

“I’ve told you before, Lionel, you can call me Betty.”

“Betty, of course. Now, if you ladies don’t mind, I have some business to discuss with Sinclair.”

“Now?” you said. “Aren’t we at a party?”

“Yes, and if we don’t catch each other now, it won’t be until Christmas. Now, Sinclair, about those reports you sent me…”

The two men wandered off, and you excused yourself for some air, finding your way out to the balcony, which you were relieved to find was empty.

As if he psychically knew you were thinking about him, your phone rang and sure enough Eli was calling.

“How’d you know I was thinking about you?”

“Because you’re always thinking about me. How’s the party?”

“Good, but I feel so out of place. Met some interesting people though. Hey, wait, how did you know about the party?”

“It’s on Twitter.”

“Since when do you use Twitter?”

“Since this morning. You know Lionel’s super famous, right? Being filthy rich does that. Everything he does gets tweeted. There are photos of you two all over the internet.”

“What?!” you gasped.

“Yep. Lionel Shabandar and mystery woman at lunch… Lionel Shabandar and mystery woman go shopping… Mystery woman accompanies Lionel Shabandar to charity gala… Oh, now here’s an interesting comment. ‘Isn’t this the same woman who went to Shabandar’s Christmas party with Eli Michaelson?’ You’re really making a name for yourself. Or you would be if anyone knew your name…”

“Fucking hell. Nah, I can’t have this, Eli. I can’t have my personal life plastered all over the internet!”

“Should have thought of that before you fucked a Nobel Laureate and one of the richest men in the world.”

“Oh piss off, you are not using this to excuse your jealousy. Look, I have some fame of my own, okay? Maybe not like you two do but I am known in lit circles, and the last thing I want is for my name to be associated with who I’m dating rather than my work.”

“Dating? Is that what you and Lionel were doing today?”

“No - shut up, you know what I mean. Do you think Lionel can take them down? He pretty much controls most of the media, right, so maybe he can talk to the head of Twitter or whatever —“

“Too late. Once it’s on the internet, it’s everywhere.”

You sighed and leaned back against the wall.

“So… you were thinking about me?” Eli said after a few moments.

“…Maybe.”

“But you’ve got such exalted company, [Y/n]. Why would you be thinking of a humble little Nobel Laureate?”

You scoffed. “You are the very antithesis of humble, Eli. And you’re certainly not little.”

“But I am a Nobel Laureate.”

“Yes, you’ve mentioned.”

“So… what were you thinking about? Missing my cock yet?”

“Actually, I thought of you because I saw Lionel flirt with someone. Realised I was jealous… made me think I kind of understand why you’re mad about me being here.”

There was a long pause.

“I was gonna ask you out,” Eli said.

“…What?”

“Last night. That’s why I was mad. I was gonna ask you for a real date. Spent an hour working up the courage to knock on your door, meanwhile you were in London fucking Lionel.”

You froze. Your world was spinning. Then, without even thinking, you said, “I woulda said yes.”

“You wouldn’t rather Lionel instead?” Eli scoffed.

“No. I dunno. I… I like both of you. You fuck around, and I know Lionel does too. Can’t I have it both ways? You for when I’m in the States, Lionel when I’m in the UK. Both of you when you’re both around. I keep thinking of taking both of you again.”

Eli let out a frustrated groan.

“Fuck, you’re such a greedy slut. I wish I was there to take you right now in front of all those stuck-up snobs. Lionel can join in only once I’m done with your tight cunt and it’s all loosened for him. Or maybe he could take your ass at the same time. Bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“God, Eli - I can’t be getting wet in the middle of this party —“

“You knew you’d be getting wet the moment you started thinking about me.”

“I’m always thinking about you at the worst of times… last week one of my students asked if I was friends with you and I had to resist saying I’d sucked your cock half an hour earlier. Not least because I’m pretty sure she’s one of yours. Leah Driver?”

“Oh, Leah… yeah, she’s one of mine. Gives terrible head, but her ass is divine.”

That awful twisting feeling rose up in your gut again, and you pushed it back down.

“In fact, since you’re off playing fancy with Lionel, maybe I’ll arrange a one-to-one with her…”

“Are you trying to make me jealous of a student when I have Lionel here ready to take me as soon as I open my legs? Try harder, sweetie.”

“Not there with you now, is he?”

“No, he’s catching up with his cousin.”

“Oh, Sinclair? Yeah, I’ve met him. Extremely annoying.”

“He seems alright to me.”

“His wife’s hot, though. The new one, not the old one.”

“Okay, Eli, you go fuck your students like the professional you are. I’ve got a party to enjoy.”

Meanwhile, back inside, Lionel and Sinclair had finished their business chat and conversation had turned to more interesting things.

“That woman you’re with seemed really lovely! Are you dating her?” Sinclair asked with excitement, as if his cousin’s love life was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Why, are you looking?”

Sinclair looked offended. “Of course not! I’m very happy with Betty, you know that. I wouldn’t dream of even looking at another woman.”

“Sinclair, relax, I was joking,” Lionel reassured him, knowing his cousin’s feelings about cheating. “No, we’re not dating. Simply fucking.”

“Well, Betty was looking on Twitter earlier - I don’t have it myself, I’m completely inept with technology - but somebody spotted you and [Y/n] at lunch earlier, so I thought maybe there was something more there. Especially as you brought her tonight.”

“She’s certainly… piqued my interest,” Lionel admitted. Sinclair’s eyes lit up, but Lionel quickly added, “But she’s clearly not interested in anything of the sort. I’m not the only man she’s seeing, for starters.”

“Then you need to win her over! Why don’t you bring her to Betty’s birthday party on Tuesday? I can be your wingman! I’ll tell her all the embarrassing stories from when we were kids and you used to show up to family events in your lion onesie, and if she’s still interested after that, you know she’s the one!”

“Don’t you dare, Sinclair,” Lionel said warningly. “If you ruin my chances with [Y/n], I will steal your wife.”

“So you do like her! Oh, this is great, Li! I’ll ask Betty to talk to her and see if she can find out if she likes you too. Ooh, this is so fun! I’ll go talk to Betty right now! She can be super sneaky when she wants to - lied to my face for months about not being in love with me —“

Sinclair was out the door before he’d even finished talking, and his sentence seemed to run straight into the next when he bounded up to Betty and started talking animatedly to her.

Lionel hesitated before returning to the party. He was one of the richest men in the world. He could have pretty much anything he wanted with a snap of his fingers - or a flash of his debit card. Why was he letting a woman get to him like this?

No, he wasn’t having it. Sharing you with Eli was one thing, but he would not doubt himself.

After your call with Eli, you made your way back inside, and glanced around, hoping for a familiar face. You saw Sinclair chatting animatedly to Betty, but Lionel was nowhere to be seen.

You began to make your way through the crowd towards the bar, carefully avoiding bumping into a drunk Bill Gates, when you felt a large hand close around your wrist and pull you back around.

You hardly had a moment to register that it was Lionel who had a grip on you when his lips were on yours, and his hand released your wrist from his grip only to hold your face firmly between his hands, as if worried you might break the kiss.

Somewhere in the distance, some rich people were wolf-whistling and cheering, but you paid them no mind. All that existed in that moment was you and Lionel, and the most breathtaking kiss you’d ever received.

It was all over Twitter within minutes.

#alan rickman #lionel shabandar #eli michaelson #sinclair bryant #lionel x reader #eli x reader #sinclair x betty

[littlexscarletxwitch]

── ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ 𝗶 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂

paring: florence pugh x fem!reader

tag(s): angst-ish, fluff-ish, sfw, best friend's sister kinda trope, enemies to lover (but not so enemies), more like I like you but I act like I don't.

warning(s): grammatical errors, unedited, not proofread. Mentions of cheating, but not really (?)

word count: 2,307

note: I was scared to post this, because it's my first long fic (no that it's too long, but still) but I said fuck it. Also, Raffie is 19, meaning reader is 21. I want to keep on writing this trope for Florence ('best friend's sister'), but let me know your thoughts. Also, I suck at choosing titles so that was the best I could do. Was I listening to Taylor Swift while writing this and that's why Betty is named Betty? Yes, yes I was. I'm not a native english speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistakes.

part 1 | part 2

The first thing Florence thought when she met you was: Wow, what an annoying little shit. 

You were loud, too loud for her liking. Couldn’t stay still and quiet for more than two minutes. Your whole presence annoyed her entirely. But she couldn’t do anything about it, since it was her little sister’s best friend who she was talking about. She had to learn how to tolerate you. She honestly didn’t understand what Raffie saw in you. In fact, Florence didn’t understand why her whole family liked you as well. 

Raffie met you in a pottery class, a class which Florence was pushing her to attend. But once her little sister came back home with you, she regretted ever pushing her so hard to take that stupid class. She even knew that her little sister didn’t like pottery, she just wanted for her to have some fun. She didn’t expect for her to meet you and turn Florence’s world all around. Ever since that class Raffie and you spent every living minute together, whether it was at her house, yours, or somewhere else messing around. Which meant that Florence was also around due to her parents telling her to  take care of her little sister. She felt as if you were a parasite in her life, but she was the only one that was suffering the symptoms. And she never seem to get rid of you. You were everywhere, suffocating her. Making every moment of her existence miserable. Or that's what she thought. Everytime she would look your way she would get this sick feeling in her stomach, which could only mean bad things, right?

She was so excited when she moved out of her parents house. Not only would it mean a new experience for her, a new life, but it would also mean not seeing your stupid face ever again. But all that came crashing down the second you walked through her front door, holding hands with some girl she never met before, and her little sister on your other side. 

A month. Only a month had passed since she last saw you. She thought you were already in her past, but there you were once again, right in front of her. Her heart started beating faster, a burning feeling in her chest, and she could swear the temperature in the room had risen. But it wasn’t possible, after all winter had just begun. She should be cold, not warm and all sweaty. 

You were a trembling mess. You didn’t want to come, you were only doing this for Raffie. You knew Florence hated you. Well, hate is a strong word, but you knew that was how she felt towards you, she made sure plenty of times to let you know that. Always giving you the death stare, or rolling her eyes everytime you said something. How she wouldn’t laugh at your jokes, even though everyone would .How she tried to stay as far away from you as she could. Every little thing she did to you only broke your heart. 

At first you tried your best to stay aways from the Pughs, for yours and Florence’s sake. But Raffie would never let you go, and deep down you thanked her, because your life would suck without her in it. Still you always tried your best to stay away from her blonde sister. You didn’t understand why the resentment from her, you didn’t do anything to her, at least anything that you were aware of. 

What hurt the most was that you really liked her. Yeah, how stupid of you to develop a crush on the one person that can’t even stand the sight of you. But how could you not? Yeah, she was a cold bitch to you when everyone was around. But from time to time, she would let her guard down and show you her true colors. Of course, that would only last a few minutes, her cold attitude would come back as soon as some else would be around you two. It would happen so fast, you’d think it was just a product of your imagination. Something that your brain would come up with to ease the heartache that she caused. 

“Hey, big sis!”

Raffie loved her sister and she loved you as well. And she didn’t understand why two of her favorite people couldn’t get along. Well, she actually knew the reason why. She could feel the tension everytime you two were in the same room. But if she had to be honest, it wasn't just tension, it was sexual tension. She knew it, her parents kinda knew it, god, even her big brother knew it. She just couldn’t figure out how you two didn’t come up with that. It was crystal clear. 

She knew you had a thing for her sister, it was written all over your face. She knew you better than yourself. But she also felt sad for you, knowing how her sister treated you. Most of the time Raffie wanted to slap some sense into her big sister. How could someone as smart as her be so clueless towards her own feelings? That’s why she would drag her sister to every adventure you two would have. And that was exactly why you were here, she kinda tricked you into visiting her sister, she knew that was wrong of her, but when you got into her car with Betty trailing behind you, she didn’t feel one bit of remorse. Raffie didn’t like Betty, she knew you were only with her to try to forget about Florence, although you would never admit that to her, and she could tell that it was working but she couldn’t have that. 

“Hey, you. What are you guys doing here?” Florence tried her best to hide her accusatory tone. She loved when her sister visited her, that’s the reason she gave her a spare key to her house, but she didn’t like that she brought you with her and whoever it was that was now holding you from your waist. 

She could tell by the firm grip that whoever it was, she and you were close, really close if you let her grab you like that. She felt her stomach clench once she noticed you wouldn’t do anything to get her hands off of you. She really wasn’t in the mood for this right now. 

“I just thought of stopping by and trying to convince you to hang out with us,” Raffie trailed off, looking at how her sister's eyes were fixed on the person next to you. “Oh, how silly of me. Um, this is Betty, Y/n’s… um…” Last thing you told Raffie about Betty was that you were still figuring things out between the two of you. So what were you two exactly? She didn’t want to say that Betty was your friend, because she wasn’t. But she didn’t feel like saying girlfriend either. 

“Girlfriend”. You finished for her. Hearing you said it outloud made you feel even worse. Yeah, Betty was a sweet girl, she cared for you deeply. And so did you, but not in a romantic way, like she did. You didn’t know what came over you to say that. You actually didn’t mean to say it, but deep down you wanted to see Florence’s reaction to your news. Would she like this? Would she mind? Would she not like this? You couldn’t tell what the fuck was going on through her mind. She just smiled at Betty and introduced herself. 

“So, what do you say Flo? Please come with us, we will have so much fun.” You knew what Raffie was doing, she was giving her sister the puppy eyes look, so she couldn't say no. You cursed your best friend, this was not what you had in mind when Raffie let you know that she was picking you up. You were begging to the universe that Florence would say no. You didn’t want to be there anymore. The tension was suffocating you, you weren’t sure if you could take a few more minutes of this, let alone hours.

Florence could tell that you were uncomfortable. She wasn’t sure if it was because of her, or this whole situation. She knew how to read your body language, she used to spend hours analyzing you, or so she told herself, convinced that she wasn’t staring at you. Making sure every reaction stayed engraved in her mind. She didn’t know why she did that. Everytime she would look your way this burning feeling would come into her stomach, her hands would start to sweat and her heart would not work properly. It would only stop once she looked away from you, but she didn’t want to. Deep down she enjoyed that burning feeling, and wanted more of it. So just for enjoyment she agreed to come with all of you. 

The drive to the new restaurant Raffie wanted to go wasn’t that bad. Yeah, the tension was still there, but Florence was too focused on telling her sister what she had been doing for the past month, and Betty was a nice distraction. She was whispering in your ear, as if telling you her biggest secrets. When in reality it was just the last movie she watched with her siblings. Which you found quite sweet, but you weren’t really paying attention to her. You tried your best to listen to her, but your hearing would only focus on Florence’s sweet raspy voice. God, you missed that voice. 

Once you all got there, Florence said: “You guys go ahead and get us a table, I need to talk to Y/n for a second.” It took you by surprise, there weren’t many times where Florence herself asked you to be alone with you. 

You looked at your best friend, confusion written all over your face, what the hell did she want? To be honest, you were scared, if she wanted to talk to you alone, it didn’t mean anything good. Still, you nodded to Raffie, telling her that you would be okay. 

Florence waited until Betty and Raffie were inside, giving her a few seconds to order her thoughts. Now, what? She didn’t know exactly what she was doing, she wasn’t thinking, she was just doing. You always had that power over her, unbeknownst to you. You made a mess out of her. Florence didn’t like how her whole body reacted to you, especially when it was just the two of you.

“What do you want?” You couldn’t take the silence any longer. 

“I, um, what’s with this Betty? She wasn’t in the picture when I moved out.”

“Yeah, well, you tend to miss out on things once you move out. What's your deal?”. The last part came out harsher from your mouth than you thought it would. You didn’t want to be mean to her, but you didn’t know what all of this was about. You were just being defensive. 

“I just don’t think she’s good for you.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I said, I don’t think she’s good for you.”

“And how would you know that, huh?”

“Because I know you.” You weren’t expecting her to say that. “I know that you didn’t want to come here. I know you only put up with me because of Raffie, because you love her. I know that you’re not sure about Betty, Raffie confirmed my suspicions.” You didn't know when your best friend gave you away but you were going to have a word with her. “I know that you’re uncomfortable right now because you’re doing that thing with your lip.” You stopped sucking at your bottom lip. “I know what’s good for you, and I know Betty isn’t. I know I can be mean towards you, but it just, ah, fuck…” She trailed off. 

“Is just what?”

“See you're doing it right now.”

“I’m not doing anything, Flor–”

“Oh, but you are. You, you make my stomach burn, and my hands start to sweat, and I keep on losing my train of thought just looking at you. Just please, make it stop. I don’t wanna feel this any–.” Without thinking, you cut her off, smashing your lips against hers. 

You were freaking out on the inside, what if she didn’t like this? What if this wasn’t what she was implying? What if she pushed you away? What if she got mad at you, and then Raffie would get mad at you? 

But all your worries flew away as soon as you felt her relax under your touch. So, that was it. That was what you both were seeking. All those stupid little arguments. All those death glares were so worth it if it all meant that it would lead you both to this moment. It was everything you ever dreamed of, she was everything you ever dreamed of.  

Her lips were soft against yours, they fitted perfectly, as if they were only meant to kiss your lips and your lips only. She tasted mint and cigarettes. You knew she smoked from time to time, and although you didn’t smoke, her smoker's breath became your favorite thing.

You couldn’t get enough of her. Your hands were on her waist, making sure she wouldn’t run away from you anymore. She bit your bottom lip, a soft moan coming out of your mouth, followed by her chuckling. As you both moved apart from each other to breathe, you both had a smile plastered on your faces. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this moment.” You pecked her lips one more time. 

“Oh, I think I do.” She smiled at you, wrapping her arms around you, kissing you again. 

What the fuck were you going to tell Betty?

Likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated! <3

-M

#florence pugh #florecen pugh x reader #florence pugh imagine #florence pugh x fem reader #florence pugh x you #florence pugh x y/n #littlexscarletxwitch's fic #your fav florence pugh blog <3

[safyresky]

So, Season 2. It's. It's alright ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But like...that's it, lmao.

I did enjoy it! I got WAY MORE genuine laughs out of these first two episodes than I did the entire first season. Magnus is hilarious, I love his whole vibe lmao. Fluffy's character, Kris, he's...man is really out here looking for a father figure and it is deffs biting him in the ASS.

The elves are top tier as per the usual! Betty and Noel are continuing to be THE power couple and I am SO HAPPY ABOUT IT, I love them to death 🥰🥰🥰

My fave thing about the season so far is just everyone out here like Scott wtf are you doing. Wtf, man. I yelled GET HIS ASS so many times lol. The official Get His Ass Count as of the end of Episode 2: 8. 8 whole GET HIS ASS moments. BLESS.

SO RIGHT. NITTY GRITTY. OKAY.

Episode 1

Scott sucked SO BAD this episode. He breaks the SOS on a worldwide level then gets upset when Cal is like "I love Riley! I wished her here! We're hanging out! Riley!! :D" and is like "Bro you should've dusted her."

OKAY SCOTT. WHAT ABOUT THE WHOLE WORLD, SCOTT, HMM? ARE WE DUSTING THEM??? HMM??? YEESH.

Scott aside (you know, his usual boomer-esque old guy who refuses to change shtick with BUT WHAT ABOUT FAMILY! And whatnot thing), everything else was. Mid, tbh. But fun! Santa being like "Are you gonna kill him?" With Carol being like "I can take care of Gary" was hilarious.

Betty and Noel, of course, SHINNED. I love them, they are SO CUTE. Cardboard face cutouts??? ICONIC. Nobody is doing it like them!

Now. Cal. aka, Buddy. I am very worried for him. Like, 4 episodes ago he was having ANXIETY about being Santa? And now this? Carol being like "what if he doesn't want it don't force him to follow in your footsteps" like. I AGREE. HE SHOULD GO OFF TO COLLEGE AND LIVE HIS LIFE!!!! I have a lot of thoughts there but it is late and I need to FOCUS because I need to yell about Cupid in a second, ANYWAY

Magnus Antas. I love this guy. I fucks with him. He takes a 700 year nap and is like "I'm fine" until his toxic bestie is like "I WANT TO KILL" and a kid sasses him for not being Santa/being OLD and he's like "Nevermind. I want to kill now too. Time to MURDER." He has VIBES and I like them!! He also seems like he's was over it until Olga was like "but what if" and some kid was mean to him and tbh, I can't even blame him for getting pissy at the kid lol. I'd also turna kid into "a Roblox" if I could (here for Gamer Mad Santa btw. I'd watch him stream on Twitch)

This is verging into Episode 2 territory, lol. May as well get there, then!

EPISODE 2

So, the LORE DROPS. Um. There was a LOT of it? And it seems to contradict itself/not quite equate with itself? If the NP is a utopia for magic, why is it like that? Was Magnus good, or not? Why do ALL the fairy creatures live there, when they come from so many diverse cuktures and backgrounds? That's a lil messed up! What the fuck happened with the gnomes becoming so (what's the phrase) PROMINENT for Santa? Will we get answers for all of these? Based on past season, PROBABLY NOT! BUT I HOPE WE DO! BC IT IS A BIT ALL OVER THE PLACE! AHH!

RIGHTO. SO SANDRA'S MAGIC. Love that for her! Love that they're actually devoting time to showing her interacting with La Befana and learning about herself and the pair of them discussing things!!! MUCH rather watch that than a 5 minute long auto-tuned elf song which is there just for a Santa/Satan joke! I'm excited to see how her whole arc goes--it looks like she's ACTUALLY GETTING ONE.

I wonder why Befana needs her to tell her parents, like, aside from obvious reasons. She was so insistent on Sandra making sure her parents knew she was training with Befana, that I'm wondering if there's something more to it a la "our powers don't work on other legendary figures". Like, was it to keep her mind clear? Is it like a past thing? Bc Witches are "scary" and often "bad" given that Santa calls Befana a "good one"?

That's another thign! Not sure I vibed with THAT whole thing. Both Claus's being like "yeah witches, they are deffs their stereotypes". Like. Idk. It sits. Not gr8 with me. Feels like performative activism, sorta, you know?

Which is also how I feel about the girl power moments, tbh. Like, it's nice to see them--Carol respecting Befana as a self-made woman, sister solidarity, etc. But it feels very performative! It feels very much like they are checking it off a list, you know? They're STILL like "Carol is trying to find a role for Mrs. Claus" and they go for COP? Wildin. Also wildin that the ELFS are COP EQUIVALENTS? Um, since WHEN?! They are funky little guys with jet packs and no regard for authority. Remember when they broke Santa out of jail and bullied the cop at the front desk? Remember that? YEAH.

OKAY SO NOW MY FAVOURITE PART TO TALK ABOUT. CUPID AND THE COUNCIL!

So as a classics major and a lover of the Cupid/Psyche myth (and personal bias from OCs made bc of said myth) I was unimpressed with the Mrs. Cupid convo. FIRST off, her name is PSYCHE so jot that down. SECONDLY. It was ONE ARROW MEANT FOR HER THAT SOMEHOW GOT LODGED INTO CUPID ACCIDENTALLY WHILE SENT ON AN ERRAND BY HIS MOTHER, VENUS, TO TAKE CARE OF (make her fall in love with a horrible monster/something/someone very ugly) PSYCHE BC SHE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL WORSHIP WAS DROPPING FOR VENUS AND GOING TO PSYCHE.

This resulted in Cupid and Psyche having a very strange romance/marriage in which Psyche's shitty sisters convince her to break Cupid's one rule (which was don't look at me) and he gets injured, HELD HOSTAGE by his mother, and Psyche has to go on a QUEST to free him that involves Venus making her do all sorts of shitty shenanigans, setting the personifications of sadness and despair on her, and trapping her in an eternal sleep. Cupid, afflcited by his own arrow, escapes his mother's house when he hears about this, finds her, and draws the sleep out of her, waking her up and reuniting them.

They then proceed to go to Zeus (not Jupiter despite Cupid being the Roman equivalent of Eros, and Venus roman of Aphrodite? It's interesting) like LOOK WHAT VENUS DID and Zeus goes "Wow, that's a little fucked up, actually. Listen, I'll make her a god and sanction your marriage and tell of your Mom IF you do something a little fucked up for me and help me get ANY woman I want" to which Cupid goes "Sure, that sounds reasonable and not fucked up at all" and then he and Psyche get married and have a fucking rager with the gods and have one kid, Pleasure, aka Hedone/Volupta, or in SOME iterations, THREE kids, Pleasure, Joy, and a third one who's name escapes me (Vanity I think) and presumably live happily ever after! READ FOR YOURSELF!

I am very passionate about this bc uh. this is uh. Dite's whole ass backstory? She is Hedone lmao so I've got some personal attachment here thanks to me own OCs lmao, ANYWAY

So YEAH that got me miffed. As did uh, the whole PEEKABOO and cupid making baby noises back at Riley. The ICK.

But you know what I DID love?? Cupid being like "I'm not spying but also, I am spying and also, the whole ass entire council is like BOI...WHAT THE FUCK". GET HIS ASS! CALL HIM OUT!! BC YEAH, WHAT THE FUCK SCOTT?? SEASON 1?? HELLO??? EVERYTHING BEFORE THAT??? VIOLATING THE SOS BY SHARING ALL THOSE SNOW GLOBES??? AHHHHHHH.

Cupid delivering that 3 month deadline and Council threat I was like. HERE for it. I was like. GET HIS ASS (this was one of the GHA counter moments tbh). Like, this dude is out of control! I think it's high time Scott meets the consequences for his actions! AH!

So YEAH. Excited to see Sandy and for New EB! I hope the whole Council comes back, even if they have to recast, that 5 minute scene would add YEARS to my life that Riley and Cal took away.

Because they are. So icky. I feel as though. There is a scale. And Marie is on one end, and Riley is on the other. This isn't just FIRST LOVE this is just DISGUSTING. Like it was cute at first last season but now Riley is honestly?? Sups annoying. You can tell that they're like, checking items off the list instead of actually putting more thought into them, because Riley is v much a stereotype and they have WAY UPPED her teenager levels. I need them to talk to actual teens. Nobody says OMG like that and also, she's bringing home BIKERS?????????? UM??????? It's like. Why are they so bad at writing love interests? You feel? Tho this could just be a me thing 🤔🤔🤔

They really should've socialized those kids, DAMN. Santa being like "And we all know how that [Romeo and Juliet] went" or whatever the line was had me like "FINALLY SCOTTY BOY. SOMETHING WE CAN AGREE ON!"

AND LAST ON MY LIST. THE SCOTT/SANDRA SCENE.

Finally. Finally. FINALLY. Some good parenting from Scott. FINALLY. Being sups understanding to Sandra? I actually loved it. He finally did ONE (1) GOOD THING. MAYBE HE IS? LEARNING? I DUNNO MAN! WE'LL SEE HOW IT GOES! But yeah, I did like that scene a lot. I'm just really here for Sandra getting her moment!

So YEAH. Overall, season 2 is okay. Gave me more laughs which is WELCOME, and I cannot wait to see how this develops. Especially since the lore was like, really thrown our way, you know? It was a lot for two episodes and again, did kind of contradict itself? Hopefully it clears up once Santa inevitably learns the truth about Mad Santa, probably mostly thanks to Carol who is DOING the MOST.

But yeah, I'm hoping to see the lore tidied/explained a bit better. Especially bc the whole elf lore opening, with the icy tunnels and drab vibes, didn't sit well with me? It...I didn't like it. Not my cup of tea. The lore in general isn't my cup of tea though it's fun to see it there finally, lol. Poor Toots, being named after a fart essentially (I went right to toilet humour, I'm sorry, I am so mature I promise i'm not)

Also, they really kinda. Throw around the head elf title, huh? It felt REALLY WEIRD to not see BMan there, and Toots just being thrown in? Weird it's WEIRD. I wouldn't bring B-Man back for it but MAN IS IT WEIRD. Especially since the new elves, as much as I ADORE THEM, don't have the same kind of like. Old feel to them? As the movie elves did? So I was like "they should NOT be there right now. They should NOT."

Righto. I am going to wrap this up bc I am INSANE and this is very very VERY long for a franchise like this 😅😅😅

#dani speaks #dani watches tscs #tscs spoilers #the santa clauses #long post #THERE IS A LOT TO DIGEST? THERE'S JUST SO MUCH GOING ON. I NEED A FLO CHART. OR A GUIDE BOOK. OR SOMETHING #tsc meta #sorta #anyway. anyone else actually watch season 2 yet? or is everyone else doing the smart thing like 'i've lost interest' #bc like. FELT. but i am IN TOO DEEP

[marisoft-paint-adventures]

Pgs. 47-59

truly the best part about any guardian is their insane and overwhelming obsession with 1 very particular and niche type of object for what seems like no discernable reason. Dad Egbert is this fucking suburban blue collar working man, the poster child of the American dream, and for some fucking reason he REALLY likes HARLEQUINS.

not just CLOWNS, HARLEQUINS, very particular genre of the clown medium, personally I’m more into jesters.

he even considers them a GIFT, a LIFE-SIZED STUFFED HARLEQUIN for YOUR CHILD.

the harlequin that also causes all of Homestuck to happen of course.

and he just

bakes shit.

not just as in he likes to bake, he continually bakes shit as a pastime and just leaves it all around the house. there is a WHOLE CAKE on the fucking COUCH.

this really speaks to why Dad’s 1 of my absolute favorites, because I knew people like this as a kid. parents or family friends who were, by all accounts, completely normal and average people, but just had That 1 Thing about em I simply could not comprehend. 1 of them had as many Thomas Kinkade paintings as I could register in my head, they were all so sappy you’d think you walked into the fucking forest. another guy had the most typical suburban home ever, but on random shelves you would just see Jesus statue, Jesus statue, Jesus statue, just this whole collection of biblical figures top to bottom.

I felt seen when I was introduced to Dad, he’s just such a guy.

and then you have John over here, whose narration has been implying some form of discontent with his father. the comic was keeping things vague until now, but it seemed like there was something about Dad that John just didn’t like. maybe they can’t connect probably? maybe Dad is too strict? maybe John is too rebellious?

no.

it’s the FUCKING CAKES AND CLOWNS.

the 2 THINGS that SINKS THIS KID’S ENTIRE PERCEPTION OF HIS PARENTAL FIGURE.

BAKED GOODS, specifically produced by Betty Crocker,

and THE PERFORMANCE ART OF CLOWNERY.

could you imagine talking about your parents with John in the room, like-

“oh yeah, my mom’s kind of an ass. she forced me to buy my own phone with money I got from jobs when I was only 14.”

“oh lemme tell ya something! my dad, he can’t stop making cakes! and there’s harlequins all over the walls and shelves! I can’t stand it!”

I would say 1st world problems but no world is suited for whatever fucking issue the collection of jokesters is.

this is the kind of thing that puts me off of abusive Dad interpretations or fics, because there is absolutely no genuine angst between him and John at all. the Egbert household has no real human problems, they have a scuffle in regards to if the classical goofy performers of ye olde times are valid or not.

if we had June happen and she came out to Dad, his 1st response would not be something shitty and mean like “WRONG!!! YOU ARE NOT A WOMAN YOU ARE MY SON!!! BE MANLY!!!” he’d think that the best way to celebrate this would be making a gender reveal cake stuffed with fucking Weird Pink Slime, and then proceed to gift the little girl a Harley Quinn shirt because she’s a Girl Clown.

“DENNIS WILL HAVE HIS REVENGE”

~ Andrew Hussie.

#homestuck liveblog #hs liveblog #hs reread #liveblog #reread #live read #liveread #homestuck #hs1 #hs #home22tuck #Act 1 #john egbert #june egbert #Beta Kids #dad egbert #guardians

[aimmyarrowshigh]

What are your top 5 Marvel movies and why?

Ughhh, this is so hard! THERE ARE SO MANY EFFING MARVEL THINGS. And there are so many that I love pretty equally but for different reasons/in different moods?

But okay. If I take the TV shows out of the equation entirely -- because my #1 Favorite Marvel Thing is WandaVision, 100% -- then I thinkkkkk arghshjsfhgsfhgjhsjfhj okay.

5. Spider-Man: No Way Home *OR* Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings 4. The Marvels 3. Spider-Man: Far From Home 2. Captain America: Winter Soldier *OR* Black Widow 1. Ant-Man and the Wasp

I know, controversh list. A lot of Phase 4. A lot of post-Endgame. But I really like the movies that are character-driven, and I feel like these are the movies that all have pretty significant scenes outside of the main plot. Like there are scenes in all of these movies that are just... the heroes hanging out and being people, or delving into their past, or reconnecting with their families. ESPECIALLY reconnecting with their families/loved ones.

AMATW is literally about getting Janet back and reuniting Scott with the Pym/Van Dynes, CATWS is about getting Bucky back, Black Widow is about Natasha realizing that she "had two [families]" all along, The Marvels is about Monica and Carol reuniting, Shang-Chi is about the Xu family legacy, NWH just fucking breaks my heart with Peter and May. FFH is kind of an outlier on the family front, but it's very much an Irondad story, and Peter is the only thing that makes Tony interesting to me.

They're all movies that ask the hero to pick who they're going to live for, rather than who they're willing to die for, and they all get really... non-romantic answers (except Stucky, obviously, which is the most romantic ship that has ever existed in the history of Earth). They're also all movies that grapple with the idea of Legacy, which is such a big part of superhero stuff but rarely gets more than lip service.

I also feel like it probably says something about me that Ava, Bucky, and Antonia are all "the villains" of my Top 3 and those sweet babies are NOT VILLAINS AND HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG, EVER. SAVE THEM. GIVE THEM SOUP. AND BLANKETS. AND AUTONOMY.

And the only villain in my list who I'd say is like, Unilaterally A Bad Guy is Mysterio.

Peter successfully rehabilitates his villains in NWH, because that's who Peter is.

WenWu is just... so fucking sad and heartbroken and tragic, and like... Is WenWu's Plotline Not Just WandaVision But With Ten Rings Instead Of The Hex?

And yeah, Dar-Benn does very much attempt some genocide, but she is also trying to survive a planetary extinction and genocide, and I understand where she's coming from in her desperation, and I don't think that she's Evil. My feelings on the Kree/Skrull dichotomy in the MCU are complex and needlessly political in a way that I shan't get into because the MCU itself never will, either, so why bother.

Like, of the villains in my favorite MCU films, Ava is desperate and brainwashed, Bucky is brainwashed and desperate, Antonia is brainwashed and desperate, Dar-Benn is desperate, WenWu is desperate and brainwashed, The Sinister Six are all desperate (and some brainwashed)... the only True Baddie here is, again, Mysterio.

And like, we knew... all too well... nyuk nyuk... that Jake Gyllenhaal was bad.

IDK. These are my favorite MCU films because they have my favorite character dynamics/interactions in the MCU front and center. I love Scott and Cassie, Scott and Hope, Scott and Luis. I love Steve and Bucky, Steve and Sam, Steve and Natasha. I love Natasha and Yelena, Natasha and Alexei, Yelena and Alexei, Natasha and Milena. I love Peter and MJ, Peter and Ned (and Ned and Betty, LMAO), Peter and Tony('s legacy). I love Kamala and Carol, Carol and Monica, Monica and Kamala, and the Khan family. I love Shang-Chi and Xialing, Katy and Shang-Chi. I love Wong. I love Aunt May. I love the three Peters. I love Ned's Lola. I love Otto Octavius. I love the dynamics that boil down to "the hero loves this person enough to become a better person for them."

"The hero loves this person enough to become a hero."

They're also all kind of found family movies? Or friend-group movies, at least? IDK. I just like them.

#asks #marvel #ant man and the wasp #captain america #ant man #black widow #spider man #the marvels #captain marvel #ms. marvel #shang chi

[horsetailcurlers2]

YET ANOTHER long and obnoxious stream of my thoughts while watching grey’s anatomy for the first time (season FIFTEEN, bc i’m actually not sick of these yet)

-i don’t like this whole “she’s not really your sister” thing. like, it’s played for comedic effect and teddy is clearly just hormonal and panicking so whatever but i don’t like that.

-i don’t want to rehash owen x amelia. yawn. nor do i want to rehash owen x teddy. yawner.

-i like that we’re getting a *little* deeper into helms crush on meredith and that it’s not just comic relief

-why are there no doctors above the age of 45 in this entire hospital besides richard? they’re all so pretty, but at what cost?

-something is going to happen to this pregnant nurse… there’s a lot of focus on her out of the blue

-i love that almost this entire intern class is at least mildly gay

-bailey is pissing me off

-ted mosby!!! he looks a little slovenly for a date tbh. not to sound judgmental but like, she’s all dressed up and he isn’t.

-this guy is way chiller than ted mosby. i like this for her. i hope it doesn’t turn out really bad but i know it probably will

-is it worth it to watch station 19?? i kind of don’t want to tbh

-i forgot teddy was in new york until her friend passed in 9/11. i’m imagining an au in which teddy and addison knew each other in NYC in the 90s bc i think they should’ve interacted more

-the undiagnosable stomach issue is so clearly this patient’s suspicious heirloom lunch pail. like, duh.

-okay well i was wrong about that and now i’m embarrassed that i predicted that with such smug sureness and authority.

-playing “chasing cars” in spanish for the día de los muertos episode is an interesting choice. i think i like it??

-nurse debbie!!!! it’s been a while

-okay nvm that is NOT nurse debbie. they just have the same bangs

-everyone gets to have a tumor on this show. YOU get a tumor! YOU get a tumor!! and YOU get a tumor!!!

-richard no :(

-RICHARD, NO >:(

-as much as i hate the owen/amelia dynamic, i really LOVE this whole amelia and betty thing

-i DO NOT like meredith/deluca

-the only relationship that doesn’t completely bore or frustrate me right now is alex/jo but even then, they’re just kind of there, yk?

-i love that meredith has one format of outfit that she likes and that works for her and she sticks to it. relatable AF.

-why didn’t miranda just have a conversation with ben before she sprung the separation on him? he would have been more than understanding i think

-i really like teddy and koracick actually

-i’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop with betty :(

-did they change out writers and/or show runners?? the writing feels… cheesier almost? or maybe just like the emotional beats are less earned? i mean it’s always been delightfully soapy but it’s just different these past couple of seasons and i can’t put my finger on it

-betty/britney’s mom is baby from dirty dancing?????!!!!!

-alex just straight up not being able to understand the scottish accents is so fucking funny.

-i love it when bokhee has lines

-“it’s a real fire!!” alex, gleefully and wrapped in a homemade knit scarf while indoors

-richards reaction to they/them pronouns is very interesting and i think it’s definitely an accurate portrayal of how even the generally accepting and well meaning older people can sometimes struggle with that kind of stuff. like, he’s not trying to be ignorant or rude he’s just genuinely perplexed. “the world moves fast and i’m just trying to keep up”

-i SWEAR TO GOD if teddy gets back with owen instead of staying with tom i will start hitting things

-“you suffered for years bc of my brother so you should totally get together and move in with him”- megan hunt in a wig that’s almost as terrible as her advice

-nancy!!!

-the shepherd family dynamic is so interesting to me because we’ve heard about it from two different perspectives over the years (derek’s and things amelia has said mostly in PP) and what we’ve seen of them is mostly from derek and meredith’s perspective in which they seem nice if a bit overbearing.

-okay jeez kathleen is a piece of work. i’ve always liked nancy even though she is “mcbitchy”. i also can’t help but to think about how addison fit into all of this when she and derek were married lol.

-has amelia ever told her family about christopher?

-stop trying to push owen and teddy on me!!!! i hate it!!

-that is insurance fraud babe. is there not a way for them to do it pro bono or something??

-okay i can sense that teddy and owen is going to happen so i will not make any more notes about it bc all i have to say about it is some variation of “no! i hate it!”

-okay i lied because the way teddy is going about it makes me deeply upset. poor tom. also “he makes me laugh and feel safe but i don’t feel rage or passion or ecstasy” ????? i should hope you don’t feel rage??? owen hunt makes me enraged too but that doesn’t mean i want to kiss him on the mouth!!! jesus christ. just fuck tom i guess, right?

-WOAH. i was not vibing with merluca but he’s willing to go to prison for her??!!!

-there’s no way they’re really fired . meredith owns a good chunk of the hospital still, right??? not to mention there’s maybe three characters on this show that *haven’t* committed crimes/major ethical violations.

-i’ve been beefing with jackson for a few seasons now tbh

#greys anatomy #meredith grey #andrew deluca #teddy altman #guys im nearing the end of my rope w this show lmao #unless they can really hook me on new characters or something #especially. bc i’ve got spoilers about something that happens next season #taryn helm u are so real #meredith sweetheart please stop committing crimes i am begging you on my knees #maybe i will stick around until addison cameos that i know come later #these are all tagged under #greys reactions

[rin-hanarin]

There's this 11 years old Homestuck fic that forever changed my perception of the post scratch timeline called Like Forgetting the Words.

I think about it sometimes and I imagine Rose and Jade would remember important bits and pieces, but Dave and John wouldn't. Alpha Dave gets the shades and the bunny, "had brief obsession with Con Air" according to Dirk, built and entire memorabilia museum, but he doesn't consciously remember. He'd watch things John Crocker was starring in by accident and have a good laugh at how dumb and friend shaped he is and get an unbearable sense of longing for something, but he wouldn't remember anything still. Then one day Rose takes him to some random grave in Washington and says that she needs to visit a friend, and she brings flowers and talks to the stone, and Dave just kinda watches her do that. She asks him vague questions and he has no answers, so he one day comes back alone to the grave and brings red flowers, saying something like "thats probably blasphemy or some shit i hope your family doesnt freak out if they ever see that". He finds the meaning of these flowers in a book by a certain J. English Rose conveniently gifts him one day, and it's something really specific, written in a manner young girl would write and not a famous old rich woman. He comes back to the grave every year in April, talks about whatever at it and has one-sided conversations with himself, and wishes "John" a Happy 13th one day in 2009 and finds it hysterical that it's the date of his death on the gravestone for some reason. He comes to the grave one last time after killing the juggalos because he thinks he saw a flash of blue there and says that he "wanted to bring these motherfuckers heads to you didnt you hate clowns or something? thats kinda fucked up now that i think about it i dont wanna defile your grave with these pieces of shit bro my bad". He dies to the Condesce and thinks that maybe he'd get to see them again.

Young John Crocker would spend hours listening to clocks ticking and writing in journals in different colors, trying to find the right one with the right voice to go with it. He ends up being left behind by his sister, the last thing remaining is her garden with a wide selection of rose plants, so he looks after it to pass the time, begging of Betty not to destroy it. He has a great interest in film and the way it develops during 1900s, but never someone to share it with, and he so desperately wants to that he end up writing his every thought about it like he's writing a letter to someone. He would collect vinyl records and scratch them sometimes for no apparent reason, and asks his son in his will to auction his collection some day after his death, only for some rich movie director to buy them later for such an obscene amount of money that Mr. Crocker expects him to ask for a refund. He never remembers anything, but his family recalls how detached he was sometimes, like his thoughts were in a completely different world, and in the end of the day no amount of movie roles and comedy gigs made him any less lonely.

#johndave #davejohn #homestuck #alpha dave #poppop crocker #i'm holding alpha dave and his con air obsession in my hands #and shaking him #aaaahhh