#BUT unlike some people here think

[piovascosimo]

monica vitti & claudia cardinale in qui comincia l'avventura (1975) part i

#monica vitti #claudia cardinale #qui comincia l'avventura #carlo di palma #cinema italiano #italian cinema #1970s #70s italian cinema #road movies #cinema #films #mio #i wanted to do a whole set choosing the best moments #BUT unlike some people here think #gifs are not that easy to make #at least for me #specially on an old computer like mine #and i don't have the file for this #so i'm screen grabbing moments here and there #and this new version of photoshop is making everything so slow #so i'll do the second half once i have some time #they are both perfect in this movie #i want to gif it all

[averlym]

"now, doesn't that look nice?" [insp]

#*chanting* skask skask skask skask- #vincent aurelius lin #adamandi #hello. let's talk about what's going on here! i've been tossing the idea about here wrt skin translucency ever since that post came out #(it's linked above fyi. but to quote it.) 'attempting to pursue this unachievable white ideal of the young academic; maybe leading to gory #representations of mimicry; replacement; taking on someone else's skin; altering the self' #this is primarily key in vincent and the skask; in the actual show iirc they used a jockey mask or smth? but i was thinking about the #delightful way skin is semi-transparent. and so a literal layer of skin alone would be unlikely to provide the whiteness pursued- #the under layer of the original tone would be there. so smth about the failure and unattainable. #additionally; at this point of the show the skin would have been likely yellowing or greying due to post-mortem development? so even more #Not white. from observations (as a kid;comparing skin tones?) white people have a pinker undertone (this might be. a generalisation but.) #here the lighting is yellowish to further push the difference + give the super harsh lighting that if you suspend disbelief has some hair #appear as blonde to further the ambrose-ness. #also the hair- messier on the non-ambrose side; a reference to the whole monologue about the haircuts they got #we bring to you also another episode of <i like drawing fabric folds> in the jacket symbolism! from bottom right to top left; it tracks #vincent throughout act two: the initial long jacket for standing out (nonchalance?) at ardess is removed; the yellow coat is put on- aided #here by ambrose's ghost which is represented by the hand! (it is very very slightly transparent- you can see the jacket pattern through it) #(if you look close) and then the satchel goes over it; this mimics the clothes in <oh ms reporter> #and then the Actual Ambrose jacket goes above along with the skask; following the outfit from the pyre scene at the end. #the spark/star thing is partially foreshadowing for the upcoming stabby eye trauma thing (@quincy) and partially just so i could highlight #the eye of the mask/ the place where vincent's eye probably is Behind the mask. because i liked the idea of merging faces; intersection. #back to the translucency of skin - you can kind of make out where the rest of his face is from the darker bit? aka it's not the same colour #as the skask. smth smth limited effectiveness... #tldr? face skin. jacket skin. altering appearance over time; unfeasibleness #when i was doing this i suddenly remembered covering my skin in talcum powder as a kid... hm. i'd forgotten about that. #anyways! when i posted my first ever adamandi thing i had the thought of 'this musical makes me want to paint' and surreally enough #that has proved to be so so true. and ngl i am really enjoying it? love it when the motivation to create is there haha #i will add as a disclaimer that i'm literally chinese and if the colours look off.. i did not mean to make a caricature. please be nice #that said because stage lighting tends to shift colours about a Lot i essentially used my own skin as a reference under yellow light? #so hopefully that checks out. <disappears>

[mintharasthrone]

more “gay” pages posting complete homophobic garbage claiming bisexual women are lesbians

#tra homophobia #drop the t & b #of course there’s a comment calling us actual lesbians trans/biphobic 🙄 #all lesbians are terfs bc homosexuality is only real if a woman is a feminist or political like what kind of homophobic logic #they think they’re so different than het men who argue all lesbians aren’t real and want a male and piv #the obsession with also equating toys to wanting a man is never ending #and i remember the poll here that showed most lesbians of course want to eat pussy most of all #and bi women wanted to use toys #like lesbians don’t want anything that looks like a dick when they have sex only bi women do and i know from experience #why the fuck would we #i wish people would stop fucking obsessing over and disecting how lesbians have sex and why #they always have to make it about males and dick #it’s socially acceptable to make creepy perverted comments always talking about or mocking lesbian sex #bi women are like why do lesbians hate us? you literally are with whole ass men calling yourselves lesbians and dykes and bonding over how #much you hate real lesbians and insinuating we aren’t real and can be fixed with conversion #therapy #people hate us so deeply for loving only women and only the female anatomy #they genuinely believe we can’t be happy being homosexuals and bring up toys as some kind of proof #the same people who can’t make women come unlike us

[shitty-proendo-blackout-posts]

being plural/being a system is really nice, i love us

#hot take: anti-endo-ness is repurposed homo/transphobia #“being a system isnt an identity you can pick and choose with” #unlike being queer? you think queerness is a choice? because thats certainly what it sounds like you're implying. #people are picking the labels they think fit best describe their life and experiences. #sometimes its the standard ones (bisexual‚ he/him‚ trans ‚traumagenic‚ etc) #and sometimes its the more specific ones not everyone is all that familiar with (orchidsexual‚ fae/faer‚ catgender‚ catharigenic‚ etc) #and yeah. some people do make choices. and theres nothing wrong with them for doing so. #idk why im rambling like this people are just here for shitposts not to see me reading too much into things #but seeing “plurality is nothing like queerness” when the two are both such intrinsic and interwoven parts of my/our identity. #it honestly kinda upsets me. #lol.exe #blackout poetry #pro endo #endo safe #endo friendly

[theposhperyton]

All evidence suggests yes

#starting a new power scaling system for the warlords of the sea but im rating them based on whether i think theyre an ally or homophobic #kuma is an ally because photos dont lie and hes clearly wearing an ally pin #also you cant spend that much time around somebody with the title “Queen of the Queers” and somehow be homophobic afterwards #unless youre sanji but hes still on his internalized homophobia growth arc. i believe in you buddy you can beat this #crocodile is trans and baroque works is the alphabet mafia in a literal form #with that said. he has the energy of “im not homophobic yall are just annoying” #doffy has the energy of a homophobic homosexual #like hed kiss a guy and then call him a f*g and throw him out a nearby window #jimbei joins the strawhats so ofc HES an ally #blackbeard sucks but i dont think hes homophobic #hes one of those people you meet and theyre just the worst all around and youre like “man this guy has gotta be homophobic” #somebody mentions their partner and you go “oh boy here it is” but he just has no reaction whatsoever #hes such a problem but at least hes not homophobic on top of everything else #Gecko Moria is such a virgin that i dont think he knows being gay exists any more than he knows being straight does #Typa MFer who thinks “sex” is just a synonym for gender #also hed see your top scars and get excited because he thinks youre a zombie #gecko moria probably thinks LGBT is an acronym for some branch of the navy that he doesnt know (or care) about #Because Boa lives on Sapphic island i would jump the gun and immediately say she's an ally but i feel that its more complicated than that #not unlike moria. she also doesnt actually have a real strong grasp on being straight vs being queer #but thats just because shes used to everybody being whipped for her equally #somebody tries to explain it to her and shes just like “??? but theyre all obsessed with me?” #if she ever encounters a gay man it will be a reality shifting event for her #id say itd be the same if she met a sex/romance indifferent aroace but like #monkey d luffy #its already happened #mihawk is probably both an ally and queer himself but he just minds his own business so much that we may never know #one piece #seven warlords #warlords of the sea #bartholomew kuma

[corpsentry]

at the asian american studies sponsored movie screening i run out of my seat to press a button for the presenter and you look away, not in shame, but in anger

go make your own movie.

One where you’re the star

and everything’s my fault

the way you want it to be. I know, it’s easy

to let someone else hold this grief

and sit in the bathtub,

all dressed up to go to the party.

Maybe in this movie it’s your party

and I the party crasher,

holding cymbals and a baseball bat, et cetera.

But we don’t stop getting older when we’re angry

and you’re only twenty,

can’t listen to lullabies at night,

can’t sleep without a blanket

over your head like you’re scared

of your own shadow. God, go

write your own movie.

You could do it,

you’re still

pretty. Angry? Me too.

The bathtub’s overflowing,

the bathroom’s flooding

with whatever you couldn’t say

to the poet with their palms glued shut

in a cheap simulacrum of prayer.

Didn’t you say you were tired? Angry? Me too.

Upset? Unhappy? Me too. Hungry? Lonely? Me too. Me too.

Standing barefoot in the grass

I remembered the month of bad weather.

How I parted the fog with broken hands each night,

looking for your voice.

Oh, I will not forgive you.

Not like this.

With your fingers splayed

against the brute February sky,

lips cracked open like windows,

waiting, like you always are, for me to say the first word.

#my writing #my words #there are many reasons i like tumblr. for example the number of people who keep getting older is very impressive #but also it is nice because unlike my goddamn poetry account (self inflicted damage) half my friends irl do not follow me here #so i can put this poem down. it’s not public grief here it’s anonymous grief! woo #anyway i have just survived possibly the most brutal four weeks of my life and this is including getting dumped a week #before the dance concert in which my ex and i were in more than half the items together. this is including that #but i am OUT #and this poem was written while i was still in but i am O U T #lord being hurt and hurt and being mature and brave and smart makes your HR voice get really good #not by choice #for survival purposes #i am wondering if i should get this laptop. as my water bottle exploded and destroyed my old laptop #i think i will do it #yes. i think so #it is time to start taking care of myself. and so on #so here’s this poem. i wanted to share it because it’s raw and unedited and it has some lines that i think are neat #if it makes you feel some stuff that would make me very happy

[napping-sapphic]

God i’m thinking about how easily and unknowingly strangers can grant you salvation like i found it in how my old classmate told me once that i was a kind person and it was the first time i’d ever believed it

in how a coworker once said that i always seem so happy and have a nice smile and i cried about it when i got home since i’d always been told i seem too serious or mean

in how someone once told me i was good at comforting them when i’d always thought i was bad at it

Just god they’re out there somewhere and i barely remember what they looked like and we’ll never cross paths again but they changed me so deeply, they’re out there but they’ll never know how often i revisit those memories and think of myself even just a little more kindly they’re out there and i don’t know them but they’re the most important people in the world to me somehow

#me?? having a Night™️?? more likely than you’d think #im missing the people i never really knew #and im stuck echoing their words to myself #it’s honestly so important to hear things from people who don’t have an agenda to hurt you #who didn’t form a perspective of you at 14 and never let it go #i dont know #it’s just insane how badly ive always felt about myself #how inherently true i thought it was that i was mean or cold or unlikeable #only to have so many people tell me differently the past few years #and i still feel so mean and cold and unlikeable so often because of the people close to me!! #and i probably will forever to some extent!! #and it’s such an awful feeling #but just knowing even one person saw me as kind or happy is such a balm to that pain #that even if every person i meet from here on out found me flawed #there was at least one that saw kindness and joy in me?? that’s healing #idk #idk im emotional and tired and just want to believe i can be a good person sometimes #and sometimes i feel like that one ‘you’re so nice’ i received three years ago is the only thing holding me together sometimes #god just ignore me

[dummerjan]

i just came across ai covers on youtube and people are requesting songs in the comments instead of getting enraged and i am further losing hope in humanity and turning to misanthropy

#meins #for a minute i got really excited about henning may singing take me to church :( #i hate people #have you no appreciation for or understanding of art? clearly not. #why would you want to listen to an ai generated song? even if it sounds like your favourite singer it's not them #it has no feelings to meaning to intention. it is empty and soulless #reading the booklet for sinéad o'connor's album of traditional irish and folk songs gave me so much appreciation for her #she wrote a little bit about each song. why she chose it or what it means to her. #it has added so much to my enjoyment of those songs and i think of it whenver i listen to it #they were chosen with intention with love with a deep appreciation for the music and lyrics and there is a story behind it all #it is art and love and human #i see aboslutely no appeal in ai generated 'music' or 'art' #and i hate that i fell for it for a minute #i was sceptical because i had never heard of henning may covering hozier and since it wasn't just 20-60 sec i am certain #i would have heard about it by now #and something was just a little bit... unsatisfying? something was missing which does apply to a lot of cover songs #(i could go on hour long rants about why people fuck up danny boy (and sinéad o'connor does it best (because she actually takes her time) #or trash madonna's version of don't cry for me argentina (again a song ruined for by everybody else but sinéad - once she has sung somethin #i have a hard time enjoying it by anybody else. the parting glass is an exception. hozier's version is phenomenal)) #but! henning may not giving it his all for a cover? unlikely. very unlikely. #anyway this concludes my tuesday night rant. rather here in the tags than some poor person's inbox. #or i would have kept fuming by myself for another hour or two

[enbysiriusblack]

dorcas meadowes and sirius black are the anti hero marauder characters.

#if you're wondering why regulus isn't here. i shall explain my decision. #right so. an anti hero is a character who does good but has un- heroic like traits #an anti hero focuses on personal motivation above a sort of greater good. #and is generally disliked/on the outs with the clearer hero/villian characters #dorcas is on a clear side of good. but the way they go about it isn't that moral #they kill practically hundreds of people (bad people) out of more anger and grief than anything else #dorcas could be classed as a hero with more villianous qualities (acting on more selfish desires/careless about people they hurt) #sirius comes from a family of more villian characters but runs towards good #his intentions are some 'for the greater good' and just. to rebel. #they tend to act selfishly and impulsively and make bad choices #sirius strives to be a hero but his trauma and intentions land them in anti hero #whereas regulus. #he (unlike sirius and dorcas) isn't on/striving for good. #he is a very neutral character that is trapped in a villianous world #an anti hero actively does both good and bad. an anti hero thinks firstly of themsevles #regulus doesn't. his good deed is stealing the horcrux. his bad deed is joining the death eaters. #he does do both good and bad. but that just lands him as a neutral character. a morally grey victim. a complacent rebel. #dorcas and sirius do good things with bad intentions and bad things with good intentions #whilst regulus does a bad thing and a good thing. and so on. which cancels each other out. making him neutral. #marauders era #marauders #sirius black #dorcas meadowes

[bootyful-seventeen]

i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh

#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it #she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin #all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's #all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood #and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here #and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does #so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff #when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die #and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates #cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter #grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni #she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t #so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too #and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress #when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk #i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz #cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all #grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done #unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess #it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help #like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi #and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous #and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree #at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar #without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since #we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by #i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear #its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage

[hellhoundlair]

"titanes about a woman having sex w a car thats SO weird haha its so weird waa i hate when movies think weird = artsy when it actually just makes no sense ew she kissed her dad lol" SHUT UP!!!!!!! YOU DONT GET IT YOU LOOK STUPID SHUT UP

#no one can have a good take about this movie apparently we all have to turn it into a joke instead of enjoying it #well *I* thought it was rly interesting and cool and it made me think a lot. unlike SOME people..... #(not vaguing anyone here just general sensiblilities toward this movie)

[unopenablebox]

brainstorming, unfortunately, colorwork words knitting

current frontrunners in the 'song lyrics' section, even more unfortunately, include

ANY DAY NOW ANY DAY NOW

IT HURTS TO TURN THE RADIO ON

and

DYING IS FINE

#like. i CAN'T make a pair of mittens that say DYING IS FINE on them. i know i can't #because then. people will think i'm really into the poetry of e. e. cummings. #box opener #you know. punchlines #all this really says is that i should be abolishing the whole category #what's better. is memes better? scale up to a sweater to give us room to write #ARE YOU GONNA PICK THOSE PENNE NOODLES OUT OF THE BOILING WATER ONE BY ONE LIKE A MAN #OR ARE YOU GONNA USE A STRAINER LIKE SOME KIND OF DEMOCRAT? #hat that reads 'it adds to it' #ok that one's kind of fun. tentatively adding 'hat that says IT ADDS TO IT' to the list for real. unlike ANYTHING ELSE HERE.

[airbenderedacted]

deathstar shippers stop going out of ur way to tell me you hate dominator being a lesbian and that you’re homophobic asf challenge (impossible, apparently)

#(cw: put under a read more for homophobia & transphobia 😬) #LITERALLY went ''lemme say the quiet part out loud'' BRO THIS IS LIKE THE 6TH(????) TIME I'VE HAD SUCH AN ENCOUNTER #except i will say that this is the first time it wasn't unprovoked. i did @ them first to ask why they were leaving replies on my posts- #-saying hater's crush on dominator is creepy bc they 'look like they have an age gap' meanwhile they've liked AND MADE #-comments elsewhere shipping her with men that are way WAY older than her and sometimes visibly so like. hater and her are the same agegroup #so i was like. what is going on here huh??? ANFD THEN THEY JUST SAY THIS SHIT why am i ever surprised anymore lmao #shout out to this person for adding transphobia to their shittiness for Spice ig /s 🙄 eugh... #i should've seen it coming bc they were referencing a page on the woy wiki THAT USES STEVENSON'S CORRECT NAME & PRONOUNDS #AND YET THEY WERE ADAMANT ON USING HIS DEADNAME AND SHE/HER PRONOUNS LIKE.. I SHOULD'VE EXPECTED THIS I SHOULD'VE EXPECTED THIS but still 🤢 #i dont ever wanna stop giving ppl the benefit of the doubt but oh my god do These people test me. every time. goes like this Every Single T- #on god only like twice or smthn have i seen [REDACTED] shippers be like.. very decent to me and literally just ignorant #and they were from here and i just ask them to not interact bc it makes me uncomfortable and they're like i dont get it but ofc #and i never see them again #AND THEN EVERY OTHER PERSON WHO IS INTO THIS SHIT I HAVE *EVER* COME ACROSS #FUCKING JUST... JUMPS INTO MY MENTIONS OUT OF NOWHERE. LITERALLY I DONT EVEN?? DO ANYTHING I DONT GO NEAR THEM BRO #THEY FUCKING SNIFF ME OUT OR SOME SHIT FOR HAVING A DNI ON OTHER SITES AND GO #''OH SO YOU THINK I'M WRONG FOR HAVING TO REIMAGINE GAY/LESBIAN CHARACTERS AS STRAIGHT SO I CAN ENJOY THEM?'' LIKE- WTF? YES? IT IS #also i kid you not this is an actual thing someone has gone out of their way to look me up and yell at me over for like an hour straiught #on twitter. it was unhinged. like they were convinced straight ppl are oppressed any time gay characters exist #bc gay characters existing makes them unlikable and unrelatable and unconsumable to straights like damn ok if u feel that way die abt it? #it's just so unhinged like bruh GO AWAY LMAO??? SHUT UP! I DONT CARE LITERALLY JUST KEEP UR FREAK BIGOT SHIT TO URSELF GET OUT #again that specifically doesn't apply to this person who technically WAS @ by me first bc i was like.. hey... hey what's going on here HUH #but oh my god they turn out to be vocally homophobic every single time. i was always hoping i was like... #over generalizing these people as being fucking homophobic just bc 1) the vibes r always like that 2) it's faster to say #BUT OH MY GOD THEY REALLY ARE HOMOPHOBIC AS A WHOLE WHAT THE FUCK I LITERALLY ALWAYS WENT OUT OF THE WAY TO BE LIKE aint no way ahah BUT NO? #BRO???? GET OUT OF HERE THIS SHOW IS NOT FOR YOU Y'ALL ARE CREEPS #THEY FEEL SO EMBOLDED TO SAY THE QUIET PART OUT LOUD EVERY SINGLE TIME WITHOUT PROMPTING. I ALWAYS MAKE FUCKING SURE TO NOT ACCUSE BIGOTRY #AT MOST I'LL JUST BE LIKE yeah so straightwashing is a thing that's homophobic so don't do that IF ANYTHING. I NEVER CALL THE PERSON THAT #AND EVERY TIMEEEE THEY JUST GO MASK OFF WITH ''BTW I DONT LIKE THE GAYS'' I OEIUFKGEJRHGUKJDFS EVERY TIME EVERY TIME WTFFFFF #usually being right about things is epic. not this THIS IS JUST.. GWORLS WHAT HE FUCK

[cxncrie]

.

#i said my piece and posted/admitted to the mistakes i made #am i proud of them? absolutely not #but if you think i'm gonna sit here and support a scammer #groomer #and whatever the fuck else she is #you're dead wrong #if people leave they leave #but i made my choice #if that paints me as a bad person then fine #so be it #i will no longer be talking abt this #at least i can admit what i've done is wrong unlike some ppl #★ ► ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴀʀꜱ ꜱᴘᴇᴀᴋ. ◄ ⌠ Out Of Character ⌡ #drama tw

[heloflor]

Thinking about Toad!Peach performing at the Sparkle theater wearing the Sparklas outfits (for Dashing Thief it might be weird having the hat with her mushroom cap so she could instead have her cap colored after said hat).

#Princess Peach #Princess Peach Showtime #Princess Peach Showtime spoilers #just in case #Super Mario #Flor talks #I could actually see Peach perform in Toad form to reduce the size difference with the other actors #especially if she were to perform alongside the Sparklas #idk why but yeah the Dashing Thief hat doesn't look good on a Toad when I try imagining it #I think it might be bc the other hats are big enough that the whole cap could fit unlike this one #on top of this costume being about sneakiness; so the big ass cap with the tiny hat might be more noticeable than a colored cap #(this is actually giving me some ideas about Peach performing in her Toad form so that people don't recognize her #and the Toads getting an interest in the theater; thus putting it on the map for other kingdoms #cue Lem/my Ko/opa liking some of the plays but not recognizing her while she's freaking out a bit about a Koo/paling being here #and being relieved upon realizing he's here for the show and not to kidnap her #but then he brings some of his older siblings who DO recognize her and it gets awkward #Wen/dy would totally tell their dad just to see his reaction)

[da-proti-toku-grem]

.

#i'm seriously starting to considering quiting uni and i've not even been here for 2 month yet #seriously why am i like this #i'm literally on the verge of tears rn and trying not to have an anxiety attack #and just because my chemistry teacher told us that we have to do some shit for a presentation in december #just thinking about all the stuff i have to do for december makes me want to cry #and 90% of it is the week after my concert #and i already feel like shit because i'm going to a f*cking concert instead of studying #also i don't like almost anything we're doing up to this point #and i keep telling myself that maybe it's because it's the first year and we are doing more 'basic' things #so maybe i'll like more stuff in the next years #but it seems more unlikely everyday #and i can't stop thinking that maybe i chose the wrong career #i know that's not the end of the world but i can't help but think that i've been wasting my time #and that i had such a bad time last year just to be able to get into this career only to not like it now that i'm in #also idk what i would do if i actually quit because this was honestly the only thing i thought i might like #it's just so frustrating and idk what to do #so i'm here writing this rant in the middle of class trying not to cry in front of 60 people #and feeling even worse because i'm not paying enough attention #istg i think that the only thing keeping me sane rn is this fandom #i'm very grateful for all of you who put up with me every day :( #venting #maca speaks