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domoz · 1 year

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Girl help i keep Hikaku posting instead of writing the fics I need to.

In this one, Tobirama takes a gamble:

No good sense has brought them here, just Madara's grief and rage.

Hikaku cant begrudge the man that after what's happened to his brother, but in this moment he wishes it had manifested another way. A battle with the Senju is nothing new, but in all of his perfect memory he can never quite remember things being this chaotic.

Hashirama is tearing up the landscape just to match Madara, who in his fury is trying to break past his usual opponent to go after Tobirama.

Tobirama, who without Izuna there to stop him, is currently beating Hikaku to a pulp.

This guy is on another level, he thinks breathlessly. He'd always known that, in theory. Izuna had been one of the best, after all and Tobirama had always matched him (until he surpassed him).

In practice, the only thing keeping Hikaku alive is the sharigan's ability to predict movements and whatever it is that's stopping the Senju from using whatever technique it was that injured Izuna.

He stopped trying to block the water dragons after the first and has gone from disrupting their paths with boulders to trying to shred them apart with pebbles as he's grown more exhausted. It hardly slows them, but it's kept him from being completely swept away so far, and if that keeps him alive than that's what he'll do.

That's what he's just done (ending up soaked, but still on his feet) when Tobirama pauses, landing on a high branch a decent enough distance away that even Hikaku might have a chance to avoid whatever he throws at him.

From his perch, Tobirama tilts his head, looking over Hikaku with a considering gaze.

"You have excellent chakra control." He says after a moment, "Even better than Izuna's."

Hikaku blinks, but he does not un-tense, remembering Izuna's many rants about how Tobirama liked to play games with his opponents -- to let them think they’ve won, until they haven't.

Hikaku does not think himself anywhere close to winning, but every moment they aren't actively fighting is another moment he hasn't died.

"It's hardly worth comparing us." Hikaku frowns, "And pointless. He still lives."

"For how long? Days? If that." Tobirama purses his lips, a tiny thing that Hikaku would have missed from this distance if his sharingan weren't still activated, "No, I don't think there's much time left at all."

Hikaku has no idea how he knows that, but he isn't wrong. The gut wound he'd left Izuna with has been festering. He wouldn't be surprised to return to the compound to find him dead already. What kind of sick taunt is this?

As he talks, Tobirama starts making hand signs -- a long string of them, and not a jutsu Hikaku recognizes. His breath catches and he readies himself, prepared to run from whatever devastation this is going to bring -- but when he finishes the only result he can see is a pale green glow coating the Senju's palm.

Tobirama raises his hand, touches it to a cut on his cheek where a bit of rubble had caught him. When he draws it away, the wound is gone.

A technique that can heal injuries with chakra. When he realizes what he's just been allowed to see -- what he's just been allowed to copy with his sharingan -- Hikaku nearly staggers under the weight of it.

His next thought is 'I'm going to die'. Because surely, surely, there's no way Tobirama Senju is going to allow him to walk away with the knowledge he's just been given.

There's a piercing two toned whistle, a bright white flare high in the sky. Retreat called, on both sides. And contrary to everything, to all rational thought, Tobirama does not leap forward, does not cut his throat or snap his spine, but turns, gives Hikaku a long glance, and follows the rest of the Senju in their retreat.

It takes Hikaku a long moment to unfreeze. To go regroup with his clan, mind whirling.

It must be a trap, but what use is there to lay one for a man already as good as dead? If this was some ploy to give false hope, then why pick him, when he could just keep what had happened to himself?

His clansmen are all silent as they return from the battlefield, Hikaku most of all.

I don't think there's much time left at all. That's what Tobirama had said. But time for what?

Hikaku is not a fool -- he does not try to use what he's learned on Izuna, or even on himself and the many cuts and bruises he's come home with. When everyone else goes off to see their own hurts treated, to see their loved ones, when Madara goes straight from the battlefield to go sit by his brother, Hikaku slips away from them all.

The main house has a koi pond, and though the landscaping leaves much to be desired after years of Madara and Izuna using it for their sibling rivalries, it still holds fish. Hikaku mentally apologizes to the late Lady Uchiha as he grabs a koi by the tail and yanks it out of the water, but he thinks, if this works, he will be forgiven.

He waits for the fish to stop thrashing before he makes a cut down it's side; nothing too deep, nothing it couldn't survive on it's own. He lets his sharingan spin, calls up the memory of the hand signs, the way Tobirama's chakra had been stripped of its element, how it had condensed thicker than he'd ever seen.

It only takes him a few moments to understand why Tobirama had made a comment on his chakra control. It's difficult -- more than any technique he's ever tried. But… Not impossible.

If he had more time, he thinks he'd be able to get it to work. As it is…

Hikaku is not optimistic. But he will try.

He lets the koi back into the pool as, for the first two hours he focuses only on the chakra -- cleaning it, folding it in on itself over and over and over again. He gets his hands to glow green once before he pulls the koi out of the water again.

There's a delicate balance, he learns. He very nearly overloads the fish's chakra coils before he understands what he's meant to be doing. The information the jutsu gives him is nearly incomprehensible, but there's a feeling to it. The cut feels like metal in the back of his mouth -- and it wants to heal, its already trying to, all he has to do is help it along. To hold his chakra on the bits that make his ears ring (and nowhere else, or the chakra will burn healthy flesh) until they've knitted themselves together again.

He thinks he's starting to get the idea when he released the koi back into the water -- cut gone but side covered in chakra burns. The chakra is giving a place for the scar tissue to form sooner than it should, or something like it. Hikaku shakes his head. It's interesting, but the theory will come later when he's got less important things to think about.

A chill has fallen as the sun has gone down, but Hikaku finds himself wiping his brow from the exertion of it all. If he could, he would rest, would at least find another animal to test on, but… Time.

He's not ready for Izuna quite yet, though. Hikaku goes home, throws together the most nourishing food he can in as short a time as he can manage, and tries to heal himself.

It's easier and harder than the fish; humans being the more complicated animal. Hikaku ends up getting a lot more feedback he has no idea what to do with -- but he can tell when he's coming close to hurting himself, too. That probably won't be true, when he tries this on another person. To avoid that he needs more control, and more than anything else, a hell of a lot more practice.

By midnight, Hikaku has managed to heal a bruise that had been starting to bloom on his thigh. Nothing, compared to the wound Izuna has, but he did it.

He feels dizzy when he tries to stand up, to walk over to the main house. Hikaku curses, but it seems like his body has made up its mind for him. Sleep is the best thing for stamina, after all, and he's not certain how much longer his control will hold out without rest. If he's too late, he still knows he's tried his hardest.

He's asleep nearly as fast as his head touches the futon, for all of four hours before anxiety has him rising right before the sun.

Well, he's a shinobi, he's done more on less. He eats old rice, drinks tea that's hardly had time to steep, and walks across the compound in the pre-dawn twilight to try and perform a miracle.

Madara is awake when he steps inside -- hunched over, face in his hands, looking like he's aged about ten years since Hikaku saw him last. For a heart-stopping moment, Hikaku fears that he was too late after all.

"He asked me to take his eyes." Madara says in lieu of a greeting, voice muffled.

Hikaku grimaces. The mangekyo is as horrifying as it is powerful, but if Izuna is asking that, it means…

He's given up. He's conceded that he's going to die. Hikaku has even less time than he'd thought.

"…Is he awake right now?" Hikaku feels breathless, like he's walking on a wire.

"He was when I left him." Replies Madara, voice rough. For him to have left Izuna's side while his brother was still awake, they must have argued. Probably about the eyes.

Hikaku nods, turns to walk to the room where Izuna's sickbed is without asking any more. He won't explain, not yet, won't give false hope. Explanations can come after, right now he's just got to try.

Izuna doesn't react to his entrance -- he's still breathing, but asleep or unconscious. Just as well, Hikaku thinks wryly, pulling the chair he knows Madara has spent hours in to give him better access to the wound on Izuna's side, He'll be less distracting like this.

He's changed this wound before, and when Hikaku pulls the bandages off its still as ugly as it was the day Izuna got it, the blood clotted and dark. It doesn't smell, at least. Hikaku has no idea how this jutsu handles infections.

One bracing breath is all he allows himself before making the handsigns, pulling the chakra to his hands. It's easier after rest, but harder, for the nerves.

Izuna twitches as Hikaku places his hands over the wound, as the back of his throat fills with the taste of copper. His entire attention focuses down to his hands, to the skin and muscle under them, to threading his chakra back and forth and pulling things back to how they should be.

"H'kaku?" He hears after a while. Izuna's voice, but he doesn't look, even as the man goes tense beneath him. He seems to understand that whatever Hikaku is doing, it needs concentration.

It could only have been minutes, or it could have been days by the time Hikaku's chakra starts to waver. He dismisses the technique, not wanting to undo his work. He hasn't done nearly as much as he'd wanted to but he thinks… He thinks he might have stopped the downward spiral, at least.

"Hikaku." Izuna's voice again. When he looks up, Hikaku's vision goes white with spots. He's sweating with exertion, he realizes, and now that he's dropped the jutsu his hands are shaking so badly he doesn't think he'll be able to form the hand signs again.

A heavy hand lands on his shoulder. When his vision finally stops spinning Madara and Izuna are both staring at him with wide eyes.

This is the most lucid he's seen Izuna in over a week.

"Hikaku." Madara is the one who speaks this time, sounding breathless, "What was that?"

"I think…" Hikaku gasps, "That was Tobirama Senju's way of asking for peace."

#oops! no writing tag #naruto blog for naruto things #hikaku uchiha #tobirama senju #not. tagging the uchiha brothers their roles are too minor. but they ARE here #youve seen tobirama and hashirama heal izuna #now get ready for THIS #i like to think tobirama did some research before he just gave that technique away #and also some risk assessment. he knows it was not likely to work #but he also knows not many people would be able to figure out that technique from just what hikaku saw #ie: even if izuna dies and hikaku spreads the technique around its not likely many people will be able to use it and use it properly #hikaku certainly isn't doing it very efficiently!#but i think tobirama would be impressed that he figured it out from what little bit he saw. and then. heh. you know.#oneshot

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fayeandknight · 3 months

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Last week our agility instructor said she wanted Forte to trial soon. There's an AKC trial at our club in May and there are CPE trials in March and April. She wants us to do one of the CPE trials to get real trial experience without worrying about a Q and then trial for real at the AKC event.

My initial thought was oh shit, I'm not sure we're ready for that. Forte runs nicely most of the time but gets sniffy when I'm unclear on our next move (aka me getting lost on the course). He also still gets distracted when dogs/people come or go. Not enough to pull him off course but I can see the attention shift.

My biggest fear is that he finds a trial too much and bails like he did last year at the ACT. In that instance he ran three times, not cleanly - we NQed, but stayed with me for the most part. Mid fourth run members of my household showed up in a well meaning way, but they brought Faye and he heard her complaining in the car. He slipped through a gap in the fencing ring and went to run circles around their car. Compounded on that fear is anxiety around what might happen if he leaves the ring. Will he run past the wrong dog who in turn has a go at him?

As horrible as our first instructor was, I cannot unhear her telling me to be extra careful with Forte. If anything happens between dogs, the Belgian will be blamed regardless of him actually being the aggressor or not.

So I was nervous for our first run tonight and got lost on the course and in my mind. Forte responded by alerting and then going for a sniff when I brushed it off and tried to cue him to the next obstacle. We did the whole run but it was bad. Honestly we haven't had such a disjointed run in almost a year.

As we waited for our next run I waffled between confirming that we definitely are not ready and trying again to see if I could pull myself together. Our second run was indeed better because I didn't get lost but it still wasn't great. I still wasn't fully there with him mentally.

So for our third run I said fuck my anxiety. It is just him and I here in this ring. I trust our relationship and both of our skills and we absolutely have this. And just like that we had the cleanest, smoothest run we've ever had, even with the next class coming in. He never even flicked an ear in their direction.

I was on cloud 9 all the way back to our seat. Until a person and dog from the next class I've not seen before came in. Dog stepped into the room and immediately targeted Forte, body low and forward with teeth fully bared and low growling. I expected them to give us space. But no, the handler strolled pretty much right up to us - with less than a foot between the dogs.

I felt like I was moving in slow motion, watching Forte get stiff when this dog just kept coming into his space. I thought about how this is different from the overly reactive dogs he is fairly frequently called upon to play neutral dog for. This dog had serious intent to hurt him. I gestured for Forte to move to my other side to create more space, he did without hesitation but I could feel his weariness. The other person/dog moved behind us, closing the distance between dogs again. I had Forte come around the front of me and to the other side, again trying to create space. As Forte moved away this other dog shot forward to make a grab for him. I stood up to be more of a barrier and while Forte was clearly tense, he continued to not react and follow directions.

The other handler did then finally move away from us. It felt like the whole thing went on for five minutes at least but was probably much shorter. I can't say for sure because of the way time gets distorted when I'm that stressed.

And while I give Forte all the props for letting me handle the situation I'm not really sure how I feel about potentially going to trial. On the one hand, I do believe if I have my internal shit together he'll do well. And he's proven, again, that he will not engage with reactive and/or aggressive dogs - at the very least if I'm supporting him but probably even without that.

But I'm worried about a full trial experience because I don't want to put him in a situation where he's in danger from another dog. No ribbon or title in the world is worth having another dog go after him. We both worked so hard to get through his own reactive phase and I would hate to send us back to that. But I also know that when I'm stressed/worried I tend catastrophize and my perspective gets warped by it.

We will keep showing up to classes, because we both enjoy agility. But I feel more mixed up about potentially trialing than I did last week. Hopefully between getting my thoughts out here and having some good weeks going forward I'll feel more confident entering a trial. But if not, I won't.

As much as I would really love to earn an agility title my mindset is very much dog first, sport second. Though in our case it's more like dog first, service work second, and sports third.

#dogblr #forte #belgian tervuren #psychiatric service dog #dog agility #agility training #long post #lots of rambling #i was really hoping this practice would help me assess whether or not we're ready to trial #but it very much did not #i definitely need more time to process things #i just never want my sport related goals to be prioritized over the dog themselves

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gonna-live-just-to-spite-you · 12 days

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HELLO I MIGHT BE GETTING T IN A FEW MONTHS

FUCK YEA

#HYPED BECAUSE MY MOM IS DOING EVERYTHING SHE CAN AND I GIT REFERRED TO A PHYSCOLOGIST #GOTTA DO THE HORMONE READINESS ASSESSMENT STUFF AND THEN T :D #Transmasc #Trans #testosterone #:3

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americorys · 5 months

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Chenford's not going to break up. They're are the main couple on the show and breaking up makes no sense because their love is so strong!! You could go watch a teen drama if you want a more dramatic story, but that's not going to be Chenford!!!

so i'm just wondering, do you have a crystal ball? you must to be making big swing full certainty predictions like that 🔮

anyway: ....................ok! i applaud you in thinking that. i will likely not go watch a teen drama, but thanks for the suggestion.

i mean, let's break down how it does make sense for the story, though, just so this isn't an ask where i just nod and move along.

tim and lucy got together near-immediately (for tim) and immediately (for lucy) after breaking off relationships, which by definition makes them each other's rebounds. despite the fact that they have intense, serious feelings for one another, giving literally 0 time and space between those relationships and their own can (and still could) create issues in their ability to communicate effectively and process their relationship milestones. that's not a whole ass reason to break up, but it's a very specific part of their foundation that we've never seen them address on screen and could contribute to issues in the future.

lucy lied to tim about the metro job, never actually apologized, and tim has literally brought it up as a moment of her being dishonest (5x18) despite being okay with it. lucy may have been lying for good reason, but it doesn't detract from the fact that she did lie, and since has continued to withhold information from tim. regardless of the fact that tim trusts lucy, that kind of behavior can lead to a lack of trust or even just a flicker in tim's head of doubting whether or not lucy's actually being truthful in intense moments.

tim is visibly not okay with lucy diving into uc work, despite also lying to her and telling her he's completely fine with it and will support her. this is a heavily nuanced issue and should be treated as such, so i'm not going to deep dive into it too hard, but this matters a ton. tim is not only trying to hone in his own emotions surrounding being legitimately abandoned by a past romantic partner in favor of a life she'd unintentionally built doing undercover work, he's trying to project a fully on-board 1000% supportive boyfriend who has no problem with anything happening in the uc world. it's not something he's going to be able to sustain long-term, and lucy can already see the cracks in his facade.

tim and lucy don't communicate in the same way now that they're together romantically. that is not to say they don't communicate – they do, and when they actually talk they're good at it, but they've both been placating each other with the commutation in the final s5 episodes. tim has repeated and repeated he's ok with lucy doing uc work long-term because having the conversation about him not being could be difficult. lucy hasn't pushed on his answer because having that conversation could be hard. it's easier for them not to talk about it when it's kind of irrelevant right now, and at the same time – it's easier for them not to talk about it when he could hold her and they could simply invest in physical comfort. that's dangerous in a relationship that has foundational issues like theirs. by not talking about their issues, they're effectively sweeping them under the rug and letting them grow larger.

ok, so look at all of this and think about it this way: tim and lucy have a strong relationship, of course. but their foundation has cracks in it that they refuse to address because it could be harder to fix than they're prepared for – it could also be one of those things that doesn't have a fix in the moment, which is worse. tim would never want lucy to give up a career path she loves just to make him happy, because it wouldn't make him happy to see her do that. btw, to be frank: implying lucy's only doing uc because she's been praised about it is gross and taking away her agency/autonomy. she does uc because she loves it. if that's what she chooses, let her fucking choose it and stop acting like she needs to pick between having a loving partner and being an undercover cop. just because it's a complex situation doesn't mean lucy has to give up a career path she loves.

anyway, the foundation has cracks, they're not addressing them/letting them grow, and our story threads are all leading to a drama point. could that drama point be a...conversation? i guess. a fight that lasts 1 episode? maybe. i just doubt it. when you have characters who could very easily still connect with some distance between them romantically (and actors whose chemistry can support it)...why wouldn't you play into that dynamic? split them up and make them work together. make it hurt. make them understand that they want each other and have been put in a position where maybe they can't have each other right now. make it clear to both characters, even more than they already understood, that they need each other. that they want each other. that they'll figure it out however they can because being together is more important.

maybe that's not a path everyone's interested in, but i think it would be fucking tremendous to see them write into the pain points of chenford. they don't do that with other ships, and i get why – but chenford's always been treated differently (imo because they know eric and melissa can sell it better than anyone else on that show) so why the fuck not give them some genuine problems to work through? that's a real part of life! a genuine thing that happens between people! why not delve into some of those issues at an early enough phase in their relationship that it still makes sense that they haven't addressed it?

anywhoo if you do have a crystal ball can you ask it what grade i'm going to get on my math final?

#anonymous #ask #chenford #the rookie #my apologies for not putting this under a cut but idk i think it's worth being out in the open #some of yall are looking at this scenario like you're watching a one chicago show or a teen drama - i'm not #i'm looking at this like a relationship between two adults who have the fucking mental capacity to assess their relationship as such #but we're not ready to have the convo abut a lot people in this fandom unnecessarily infantilizing both tim and lucy in respective areas ye #so there's that

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carrotcakecrumble · 3 months

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ohgod girls the more i think about it the more i kind of don’t want it like i was out of my very very shallow depth there

#like cool experience but doing it as my job?????#have to do way more homework first #don’t think im ready #and i like my little supermarket job #favourite job I’ve ever had #kind of don’t want to get it more than i do #but am i just doubting myself like always or am i making an actual self aware valid assessment of my capabilities #that’s the question

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opens-up-4-nobody · 6 months

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...

#its crazy how much easier it is to do things when youre not completely miserable lol #this past week has been weird bc ive felt really really good and like normal in a way thats kinds unfathomable #im hoping its the medication but my mood was already on an upward tilt and i was told it would take like 6 weeks for the meds to work #property but like ive been sleeping way more than usual. and by that i literally just mean 8hrs a night lol which is weird for me #like that never ever ever happens multiple days in a row. so idk. when i feel better it makes the 0cd way easier to manage as well #and im just generally not as anxious. on the more worrisome side i kinda just give less of a fuck so like i have an exam im not ready for #Tuesday and im just kinda like hm fuck that lol. ill go thru lil fluctuations of having a lot of energy too #like: i could run around in circles rn. i dont have to but i could. like yesterday i was out with friends and i was like bouncing up and #down while standing and rocking from side to side while sitting. which i kinda do anyway while in crowds but it was more to expend energy #last night i also got like 5hrs of sleep. so like maaaaybe ive been on the bleeding edge of mood elevation but for the most part it just #feels good and not destructive. like if i felt like this all the time that would b fantastic. its like oh so this is y ppl dont long to b #put out of their misery lol. depression? who? i dont kno her. sounds fake. but as soon as i fucking say that ill b fucking slapped back #down to earth. ugh. annoying. no emotional object permanence. i hope its the meds. if this is the person i am under layers of misery then #that is fucking so insane. we shall see. im curious to hear what the psychiatrist thinks of my brain when i follow up with her #i gave her my full dys1exia assessment which gives a pretty good picture of how my head functions. oh fuck i bet i would do waaaayyy better #on thise test if i took it in this state of mind. but anyway she has that on top of like 3 assessment sheets i filled out #dispite everything i still want someone to categorize me into a discreet box. tell me doc. am i really bip0lar? really really?#ur sure??? like 1000% sure bc my brain wont let me accept that unless its beyond a reasonable doubt. i just doesn't seem that serious.#i mean. it is but like ya kno. its not that bad. ay. this glob of mush behind my eyes runs me in circles #but for now thats ok bc i feel like i could run up a mountain or punch someone in the face lol #unrelated

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synthville · 1 year

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questions about seven and raffi that i need this episode to acknowledge and/or answer include ‘are they together?’ and ‘literally why are they acting like they never met let alone got engaged in 21st century france at the edge of a crumbling chateau’ and ‘it’s been 2 whole episodes why haven’t they mentioned each other at all like is this a deep cover kind of thing or did y’all (writers etc) give up on their relationship because y’all were never legitimately invested in the first place🧐’ and ‘seriously what is going on with these two there hasn’t been one meaningful or offhanded mention about their relationship status and is the silence on the issue meant to be an answer because if so i hate it’ and ‘do y’all (writers etc) know that stable relationships are actually not boring or illegal like you can just write that and no one will arrest you it’s fine’ and ‘did seven get to see raffi in her sexy spy get up before they parted ways because i think she would love it as much as or even possibly more than me (known raffi enjoyer)’ and and and—

#saffi #raffi musiker #seven x raffi #(okay the engagement might have been an extremely delusional reading of The Kiss That Stopped The World (my world) on my part 😭 still tho!#ive been looking away as to not go big crazy but like #what are they doing lol #this isn’t even bare minimum it’s literally just nothing #i would LOVE to be proven wrong though #would absolutely rejoice at being incorrect in my assessment of what they’re going (nothing lmao)#idk they were in this iffy situation in s2 so they never got to have any real peace #until the literal end #an ending which suggested there was more to come in terms of the evolution of their relationship and each other #a ‘more’ which seemed intentional and hopeful and headed somewhere secure #only for s3 to start with both of them completely silent and unaffected ?#BE FOR REAL!#and not to go there but idgaf imma go there they would not do this 2 a straight couple lbr #idk im getting raffi was in love and seven wasn’t ready vibes and to that i say: go to hell :)#but let me calm down and cross my fingers maybe there’s something im not seeing 🫥#.rfi

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nonstandardrepertoire · 8 months

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so we finished watching season 2 of Picard last night, and just. whew, friends, what? a truly baffling array of choices. things i simply cannot get over:

the commitment to doing every Single joke from The Voyage Home while simultaneously Strenuously Avoiding doing anything campy or goofy

like, the reason TVH works is that the main cast are all just Buffoons — Kirk does not know how money works, Spock is dressed as a jogger in a bathrobe, Scottie tries to talk into a computer mouse, and it is all GREAT. in Picard S2, it's like, they say they don't know much about this period in history, but they all seem to click into place fairly seamlessly. in general watching this new era of Trek, it feels like the writers have simply forgotten the pleasure of a good silly camp romp, and constantly referencing one of the best silliest campiest romps in the canon is uh, not helping

the climax of the season revolves around?? Q's character development??? Q???? QUEUE?????? baffling

in general what was even Q's plan here. is he . . . trying to sabotage the Europa mission or not? why is All Of This necessary for Picard to forgive himself, if that's Q's real goal? just like generally this framing does not make sense to me and so resting the entire season on it is. a choice, i guess

also when have we ever been asked to care about Q's interiority before, when have we ever been asked to be On His Side as opposed to whatever human he's fucking with

how are we relating to canon here. h o w. there are some Real deep cuts, but then also some like, fairly prominent episodes that are just?? ignored???

like, ok:

Guinan and Picard have a fairly significant adventure together in 1800s San Francisco (in “Time’s Arrow”). it is canon then that she doesn't know Picard yet. this is an incident she will remember for 500+ years and reference on board the Enterprise D. but in this season of Picard, she appears not to know him at all and to once more be meeting him for the first time. these two first meetings are . . . difficult to reconcile

but we are apparently doubling down on “Wesley Crusher was just the super specialest boy and he managed to transcend the limits of physical reality because of his big special brain”

we are apparently pretending that Robert Picard just . . . doesn't exist? isn't around for Jean-Luc's childhood? this isn't really technically a continuity error but Robert and Jean-Luc's relationship felt real and specific and grounded in the particulars of their two characters whereas Yvette just feels like generic sexist “ooooooh his mother was ~crazy~” schlock, and losing the former for the latter is uh. not an improvement

we're doubling down on Gary Seven, tho! Gary fucking Seven!!!!! remember that beloved character from an episode that was definitely a good idea??? why

actually, specifically, tho: it feels like this is a continuation of Star Trek’s reluctance/inability to grapple with the less savory parts of Gene Roddenberry as a human being, particularly his misogyny. to stick only to the example at hand, he made the “Assignment: Earth” filming experience so miserable for Teri Garr (by, for example, relentlessly shortening the length of her skirt, even over the objections of the costume designer) that Garr has absolutely refused to talk about Star Trek in subsequent interviews. i was obviously not on set, but the vibe i get is extremely that filming that episode would clearly and unambiguously been a hostile workplace environment by contemporary standards of sexual harassment. so i, personally, have a hard time being like “ah yes, ‘Assignment: Earth’, what a fun bit of forgotten canon to incorporate wholesale into our new series without grappling with the specifics of its creation in any way!”. the vibes are just . . . rancid

anyway, moving on from continuity gripes,

it feels like a real missed opportunity to have not cast David Duchovny as the FBI agent. this is really not the showrunners’ fault, but i’m in a hating sort of mood, so i’m going to take off points anyway

“Dark Page” was not a great idea in 1993 and it isn’t any better now

circling back to “covering the hits without any understanding of what made them good”, Raffi’s encounter in a camp of unhoused people feels like a nod to “Past Tense” without any willingness to actually . . . engage with what “Past Tense” was saying. for all that i have some issues with some of its narrative choices, “Past Tense” devotes significant, sustained screen time to characters that society has decided to discard and is relentless in hammering home the message that “this is not just and it cannot be reformed into justness”. here, Raffi stumbles across an encampment, someone immediately tries to mug her at gun point, she beats him up, she shares a rueful quip about “gosh, wild that such a prosperous society can’t be assed to take care of people”, and then we just move on and never mention this again. like, we get Words saying that Homelessness Bad, but what we are shown is “unhoused people are scary and dangerous and it’s ok for our heroes to beat them up”

(i actually think that In General there is a lot of wasted potential with Raffi, altho mostly the fault here lies in season 1. “very competent Starfleet officer who is also dealing with paranoid delusions and falling apart at the seams about it” is an interesting premise for a Star Trek character if done well! and then S1 is just like “oh, nope, actually, she was right about everything, there was a massive, bizarre conspiracy that did exactly what she thought they did, she's fine and correct and everyone who ever doubted her is an ass”)

(i also think that the “love always ends in grief” sequence from Discovery S4, for all of that season’s considerable messiness, is a much tighter and more powerful expression of that theme than the wandering, haphazard approach to it here. i think these shows are meant to be watched in concert, but the back-to-back seldom does Picard any favors)

we continue to lean into Human Exceptionalism and i continue to roll around on the floor going “ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” about it

more elaborate thoughts on that go in my “if i were making Enterprise” post, tho

THAT SAID

on the topic of exceptionalism, i hate the FUCK out of the bit in Crusher’s recruitment speech where he’s like “do you want to be ordinary, or do you want your life to have purpose and meaning?” as tho???? ordinary lives????? cannot have purpose and meaning???????????? look me in the eyes, writers. no, no, look me Directly in the eyes: fuck you, fuck that, i am doing cartoon violence to you. the mindset that only extraordinary lives are worth living is toxic bullshit that distorts so much of our mental, political, and artistic landscape. ordinary lives can have so much meaning and purpose, they can be so very beautiful and rich. ordinary lives can be very good to live. i think Star Trek, in general, focuses too much on elites as The Only People Who Really Matter, but to elevate that to the level of explicit text is just. fucking devastating. unspeakably bleak. absolute philosophical train wreck of a season finale, on a par with Discovery’s “a Starfleet admiral actively and deliberately planned and tried to carry out a genocide and faced zero career repercussions for it that we can see”. clown car nonsense

in conclusion: i have drunk the haterade, g-d this season sucked, i can’t wait to make April 13 “Jurati eating car batteries day” and take it away from the Homestucks

#let's take a walk thru these here stars #did i have a Picard tag? i feel like i can't possibly have #thinky thoughts #Star Trek: Picard #Picard S2 #unabashed hatery #i promise we can stop doing Wrath of Khan again now i promise i promise i promise #also like #i don't even want to get into the "why did we have to just sit thru an entire fucking fascist rally #or the implication that uh. fascist Earth would be really successful at fighting the Borg actually #IN GENERAL i think our fiction is Way too ready to paint fascists as Very Competent At War #they are not #i don't know how many people know this but there was a small little tiff called World War II #and the fascists did not win it #because fascists are incompetent and fascism is inherently unstable as an ideology #Umberto Eco said that fascists are condemned to lose wars because they are incapable of realistically assessing the strength of their enemi #and he was RIGHT #obviously that should be “enemies” but APPARENLY my tags are too long #whatever #anyway #rants #sigmastolen #i feel like you will appreciate this even if you don't watch Picard

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