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mayalaen · 9 months

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my server vs netflix

Long post for a few mutuals who asked about this 🏴‍☠️

Netflix (according to the geeks on server forums -- so this could be off a bit) has individual servers that hold about 100TB of data each, and Netflix claims they have around 18,000 servers worldwide.

Netflix has about 3000 movies and 1800 TV shows available in the United States at any given time. It varies in other countries, but is similar.

This is my server below (pen for size comparison and purple sticky note covering the super bright blue light that bores into my brain)

It's got 5 drive bays, and right now I have 60TB of storage space in it (meaning it's just a little smaller than one of Netflix's servers), and only 37TB of which is currently used. I can easily expand with add-on bays once I fill up the 60TB.

I currently have 4470 movies and 862 TV series, all with closed captioning that I've curated and about 100 of the TV shows have bonus scenes and specials included.

My server cost me about $2700: $1200 for the 5-bay box and the rest was spent on hard drives over the course of 2 years -- 5 inside the server and 6 backup drives. I bought good drives when they were on sale.

I spent another $300 on a range extender for my house so mom and dad could watch in their bedrooms without interruption.

My home internet costs $50 a month and I'm able to serve friends and family in the US, Canada, Europe, and Australia. It's not always accessible (sorry Australia and your shitty internet), but it's up most of the time.

I never take movies/TV shows off of my server, and all the TV shows have their original DVD soundtracks, so nobody has to worry I'm going to remove their faves or ruin soundtracks.

I take requests from anyone, adding it when I find it with no judgement on content.

I don't charge anyone for using my server, and yet I'm paying less than I used to for internet and streaming services.

My payments for internet and streaming for my business and two family houses (Charlie's house and my house) used to be $900 A MONTH ($450 of it was the business internet because ISPs gouge businesses even though the internet usage at the shop is less than home).

Just before I quit Cox Internet, they were about to raise the cost and my new total would've been $1000 per month.

My monthly payments are now $220 for internet service and streaming services. So within just a few months, the server paid for itself.

I still have YouTube TV, Netflix x2 (one for each house), Hulu, and Discovery+.

I'm not saying the average person can set this up, but I want to make it clear that streaming services aren't the mysterious, unknowable magic that people think they are.

They're just servers (hard drives) with data on them and a good internet connection.

Anyone can set up a home server. You don't need a $1200 box like mine. Even an old computer/laptop or single hard drive will work.

A brand new 2TB good-quality hard drive that could hold about 1000 movies or 60-80 TV series would only cost $60 plus another $29 for a basic enclosure/case. (I bought mine from NewEgg for backups)

I use Plex as my media server program. It has a free version and a paid version. I bought the lifetime pass on sale for $90. It goes on sale 2-3 times a year. There are other programs out there too, including Kodi, which has a Netflix skin so it looks like you're using Netflix.

Plex and other programs like it already have a huge library of metadata, so I didn't have to create my own cover art or fill in any other information other than title & year for movies or title + season + episode number for TV shows.

Careful naming of files and sorting in properly-named folders is all you need to have this:

It took me about 3 months to download and organize most of the movies and TV shows in between working and taking care of my home/family. Now I update the server once a week and it takes about 2 hours a week to download/update new TV shows and movies.

I wasn't able to torrent when I had Cox Internet, but the new $50/month ISP doesn't give a shit. Even so, I use a VPN, which is $9 a month just in case they ever decide to get touchy about torrenting.

The server does regular maintenance on itself, and I have backups of everything.

I realize not everyone has the tech skills to set something like this up, but even if one tech person in the family or circle of friends has the ability, they could serve around 60 people.

The most I've had streaming at one time was 10 separate people watching different things, and my server handled it with no problem.

Others on the server forum claim they've maxed out around 25 people simultaneously watching, but 60 people is the number suggested because not everybody will watch at the same time.

Streaming, as it currently works, does NOT support anyone related to the creation of TV shows and movies.

Hopefully this will change, but even if it does, that doesn't change the fact that I can easily support creators myself by buying their DVDs, merch, going to cons, and donating to them or their projects directly.

Right now, pirating movies and TV shows doesn't hurt creators because streaming services and big studios are the main villains, and if all you did was donate $5 to your favorite TV show/movie, you'd be giving them more than if you streamed their content as many times as you wanted each month on a big streaming service.

I have movies and TV shows on my server that aren't even available from content creators anymore due to greedy CEOs and execs who dump their content for tax breaks.

If more people switched to using their own servers, MAYBE it would scare the greedy assholes into paying content creators what they deserve, but in the meantime it's a great way to enjoy content that was created to be shared and to support the creators.

EDIT: I need to add that streaming a TV show/movie as much as possible in the first few weeks of the release date DOES help the show get renewed and the movie execs are more likely to buy future movies, so please stream as much as possible then to help content creators. After that time is up and the streaming service moves on, then it's totally fine to pirate.

#servers #real life #technology #streaming #about me #long post

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olderthannetfic · 2 years

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I'm in a German speaking country, so all American media we get on TV (which is about 90% of our media) is dubbed. There has been a weird trend lately with streaming, though - Austrian teenagers have apparently become a LOT better in English because more and more of them are watching shows and movies on streaming with subs when they aren't dubbed yet

Another fun thing about German dubbing - whenever a German person speaks, they carry their regional accent with them. There is no neutral accent in a normal person, even in a screen actor. But for SOME REASON voice actors speak a type of German that is so smooth you cannot hear anything out of it except 'German'. Which is why it is incredibly grating when animated movies get dubbed with Big Name German Stars, because those stars are screen actors, not voice actors, and their voices have their regional accent.

I think the voice actor-accent is a derivative of Theater German. I learned some of that at some point, and it has its very own rules and regulations that feel extremely unnatural but when you can do it, they sound like _nothing_. Like your voice got rubbed smooth. But then Theater German is also modified to be as clear and as resonant as possible, which is a slightly different quality than Voice Actor German...

Dubbing is a huge part of our culture, and there's a whole big linguistic and cultural underbelly attached to it. It's fascinating - especially because unlike Russia, we started dubbing absolutely everything really early (as opposed to voice-overs). So you have this gigantic cultural block of about 100 million people in German-speaking countries for whom dubbing used to be just a fact of life - and now with streaming this is getting slowly but surely broken up for more people than just fans of weird obscure british shows or anime fans.

idk, I'm just passionate about German dialects and ever since I started seeing those asks my fingers have been itching....

That's super interesting!

Obviously, my own feelings about subs vs. dubs come from being an American. Almost none of our easily-accessible media is foreign. (Or at least, that was the case before streaming services.) We barely even import English language things from elsewhere. So a lot of the attraction of foreign media for me is that it is foreign, and our dubbing industry is less than stellar to boot. Hearing the original language is a nice break from the monotony of all American everything all the time. Very different from a media landscape where the majority of stuff is imported.

I do, however, notice problems when people cast regular actors as voice actors here too. Some of them are good at it. Many are not. Give me a VA who specializes in that any day.

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bubblesandgutz · 8 months

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Every Record I Own - Day 784: Neutral Milk Hotel On Avery Island

In the Aeroplane Over the Sea knocked me off my axis when I first heard it in 1998. The music alone was like discovering a whole new planet, and to then discover that the Neutral Milk members were a part of a collective of bands under the Elephant 6 Recording Company was like discovering a whole new universe. It was tough tracking down the other band's records in that pre-internet era, but I grabbed what I could. While there were certainly fascinating things happening in that solar system, I kept gravitating back to Neutral Milk Hotel.

On Avery Island didn't reprogram my brain the same way Aeroplane did, but maybe that's because I was already on the Elephant 6 wavelength when it came into my collection. While it didn't instantly floor me in the same manner, if you had asked me which NMH album was better back 1999, it's entirely possible I would've answered with On Avery Island. I remember dubbing this LP onto a cassette that I'd take with me to my summer job of cleaning up campus housing at my college back in May '99. On the flipside of the tape was the final mix of Botch's We Are the Romans, which we had just finished tracking up in Seattle. As I was going through all those students' houses, cleaning up the junk they'd jettisoned in the rush to leave for summer break, I'd switch back and forth between this strange little world concocted by a bunch of weirdo college kids on the opposite end of the country and our own little musical vision from our lonesome corner of the Northwest.

While I've familiarized myself with Aeorplane to the point where I've drained it of a little bit of its magic, I still feel immediately transported back to that summer of 1999 whenever I listen to On Avery Island.

I owe a hat tip to @axelrod for reminding me about the Elephant 6 documentary yesterday, which I watched last night. It was an inspiring movie that reminded me of all the beauty and excitement of being at that age where you're out on your own, free of larger adult responsibilities, and finding your tribe of like-minded artists. The Elephant 6 collective did an amazing job of creating their own little universe, both in terms of the psychedelic music they made, but also as far as cultivating their special cultural enclave. One thing that kept coming to mind while watching the movie was how that specific kind of magic will likely never happen again. It was an era of cheap rent where you could work a part time service industry job and survive. You didn't have a cellphone to distract you, so your social time involved hanging out with your friends. You weren't bombarded by entertainment, so you and your friends were constantly making art with no hopes of a larger audience other than the people you hung out with on the weekends. And even beyond that, your access to music was so limited that you were actively engaged in your local scene and listened to your friends' records over and over and over again.

That last point was one that really stuck with me while watching the documentary. My listening habits have expanded dramatically in the last twenty years, and that craving of new music has increased even more in the era of streaming. But I worry about losing some sense of forming a deeper connection to new music and creating that mental bond where an album can transport me to some other time and place, keeping me tethered to some aspect of my past. Will I ever listen to a new record as much as I listened to the two Neutral Milk Hotel albums? Do I have that kind of bandwidth considering the volume of new music coming out in any given week?

I must have listened to On Avery Island hundreds of times, and it's fully woven into my synapses in such a way that whenever I hear it, I'm twenty-one again, just finished with an academic year with the whole summer ahead of me, with a new album by my band all wrapped up, feeling nothing but optimism for the future. And it's ultimately that kind of connection that I want out of all music.

#neutral milk hotel #everyrecordiown

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cavewretch · 1 month

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nostalgic absurdism, a media (crit?) list

this black eyed peas music video that came out in 2023 is my thesis statement for this entire concept please watch it i could write a whole paper just about this video. the dead eyed stares of every performer. the star wars font. the lyrics dripping in so much party language it hurts. the "i feel so alive" delivered so incredibly lifelessly. the chorus being "dont worry about a thing, because everything's gonna be alright". it's black eyed peas, shakira, and david guetta giving you the shallowest most haunting memory of 2014 you could imagine. it's phenomenal. oh and aliens. shakira suddenly becomes the leader of the alien dance team but now she has blue eyes. the black eyed peas are abducted at the end. please watch it i beg

ok anyway on to the list (ongoing so this post will continue to be updated) (feel free to send suggestions 🫶)

i have two spotify playlists for this that i made a couple years ago. i stopped using spotify last year so they aren't updated but here is RECE$$10N and Pandemic Era - Nostalgic Absurdism .

song special mentions from those playlists:

save by nct127 - the samsung memory card ad campaign sponsored futuristic-with-some-plants-music-video kpop party song

bo burnham's inside (i am not talking about him as the media-criticizer, i am arguing his special is of this era? moment? itself. im putting him here as a critique)

any song that goes viral on tiktok

most musicians that come out of tiktok

any official sped-up version release (not youtube nightcore)

any covid-themed special release (songs with titles like socialdistancing, new normal, lockdown, etc) . i believe that we will win by pitbull which takes the american government's approach of "viruses are an entity capable of morality and this evil enemy is combatable" . other insane songs: you are the champions (queen/adam lambert, for Health Workers), masks, gloves, soap, scrubs (todrick hall, also for Health Workers)

old groups coming together to make new music in the face of "these trying times" aka jonas brothers, big time rush, abba, etc

hear me out. the 2022 minions sequel soundtrack especially turn up the sunshine diana ross/tame impala

non-music:

fashion trends (90s 80s 2000s 2010s)

every remake reboot sequel prequel of the last 10 years (star wars etc)

marvel movies

streaming services for everything

shows/movies being filmed for clipability and vertical phone screens

stranger things

minions meme resurgence (this was happening in 2022 on twitter)

old meme resurgence in general (i saw a troll face one recently) (sure it's done in the post-post-post ironic way but it still has trollface)

d&d resurgence (something something methods of theater/storytelling adapting to the social climate)

playlist updates (since i stopped using spotify)

3d country by geese

ogoin & linguini: tv show (this is brasil specific i don't get all the references myself but it's fun to listen to)

only god was above us by vampire weekend

raw data feel & mountainhead by everything everything

january never dies by balming tiger

two night by tierra whack

gangsta by free nationals, asap rocky, & anderson .paak

mos thoser by food house,

>something something nostalgia as a tool / umberto eco ur-fascism

growing up online a neighbor to this line of thought

#wretched text #culture melt

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musette22 · 2 years

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Hey! I'm the defending jacob comment anon😅 Maybe I was talking more from my perspective and how I remember it while watching the show so idk. At that time I wasn't "properly" in the fandom, I liked Chris and had seen the marvel movies, knives out gifted and snowpiercer, but you know, I wasn't keeping track of every project he was doing, I discovered the show because of Chris' tweet when it premiered. I have to say though, that apple tv is probably still the less famous streaming service in my country, and I only started seeing their ads and tv spots (that did include DJ) after CODA won the oscar. But I think I kinda meant the comment more like, yes there was press and interviews with the cast and all that, but once the show ended apple didn't push a lot for the show or the actors to get awards or nominations, and at the end of the year it didn't really remain like a known series outside of the fandom. In 2021 after the Oscar, apple tv did become more famous, and I saw in twitter and TikTok a lot of people discovering defending jacob for the first time and being surprised that they didn't know about it given the cast and the great performances. Of course, movies are more of a certain thing, specially if you have a great cast, while series tend to be a one time watch, so yeah, sharper will def gain a lot of attention (I mean it's also the reason why a24 wanted Seb for a different man, so it will probably be great). However, I personally still think that apple should engage more with their projects? It might seem silly but the way that Netflix promotes things that both fans and the general public are going to be interested in, or how Hulu promoted p&t and fresh (and also other projects), doing all these interactions in social media, memes, responding to fans... does work to keep things relevant even after they are released. And HBO always submits their projects to get awards, even some that weren't that 'mainstream' during the year when they premiered.

wow I didn't expect to rant this much sorry 😭❤️

Oooohhh I see, I see! I guess I get what you were saying now, thanks for explaining in a bit more detail! I personally remember there being quite a bit of hype and promo for DJ, as well as some publicity for Emmy purposes, but that may have been because I was so involved in the Chris fandom. In any case, I really do hope the boys' upcoming Apple projects will get the hype and promo they deserve, and that Apple will take a leaf out of Hulu and Netflix' book in that regard!

#minnie answers

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survey--s · 1 year

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502.

- Past -

Are you happy with your upbringing? Yeah, for the most part. The only thing I’d change is the amount of time I had to spend in childcare, as I never enjoyed it and always felt like I never got a break from school (as my holiday childcare was at school). But as an adult I can see that my parents had to work.

Who was your first best friend? A girl named Lucy. Who was your first love? A boy named Joshua.

Did you ever attend any school dances? Yeah, a few of them.

Did you play any sports growing up? Yeah, I had no choice lol. I went to private schools that were really focused on sports - we did rounders, tennis, athletics, cross-country, hockey, netball and volleyball, as well as non-team sports like trampolining and dance.

Did you have a special blanket when you were younger? I did indeed - I have no idea where it is now though. I think it might be at my parents’ house but I couldn’t be certain.

What movie reminds you of your childhood? The Lion King, Pocahontas, The Land Before Time.

Were you a picky eater as a child? No, I was pretty adventurous. The only foods I remember hating were mushrooms and spinach, as well as anything too spicy.

What’s your favorite memory with a family member? Skiing holidays in Canada with both my parents. I remember getting tonsillitis there once and my parents took it in turns to ski and look after me - I was allowed lots of strawberry ice-cream and my dad bought me a massive, solid chocolate dinosaur to take home lol.

Did you ever have to share a bedroom? No. I mean, I might have done as a newborn but that’s it.

Are there any smells that remind you of the past? Boiled white rice.

Did you play outside or inside as a child? A mixture of both. I never really liked getting dirty but I did have a slide and a paddling pool in the garden as well as a swing-ball set. My dad was quite active and took me bike riding or to play football too. But I liked imaginary games inside too, and also just reading or playing with my toys.

What was your first favorite song? Wannabe by the Spice Girls is the first song that I remember liking properly, but I’m sure I liked other kids stuff before then too.

- Present -

What’s your favorite color to wear? Grey, black, burgundy.

Who is your favorite musical artist? I go through phases, but that the moment, probably Dolly Parton.

Do you have any pets? We do indeed.

If so, how many and what kind? A beagle and three black cats.

Do you live with your parents or on your own? I live with my husband.

Are you in school? Nope.

Do you have a job? Yeah, I run my own business.

If so, do you like it? It’s infinitely better than being employed, but of course it has it’s downsides too. But overall, I wouldn’t swap it for anything.

How often are you on the internet? Mostly all day, everyday.

On average, how much time a day do you spend on your appearance? Including having a shower, maybe thirty minutes.

Do you have any children? No.

Are you in a relationship? Yes.

Are you subscribed to any streaming services? Between us, we have Prime, BritBox, Disney+ and Netflix.

What time do you usually go to sleep and wake up? On weekdays, I normally go to sleep around 11pm-midnight, and wake up around 7am. At weekends I’ll wake up around 9am.

- Future -

Do you have any long-term goals? Not really, I tend to just live life as it happens.

Do you want children? (Or more if you already have any) Nope.

Where would you like to be in your career five years from now? I don’t really plan my future, I just live each day as it comes. You never know what’s around the corner so planning too much just seems a bit silly to me.

Do you think you’ll ever move from the city you’re in? One day, sure.

How do you hope your life will look in 10 years? As long as I’m happy, I’m not really that fussed about anything else.

Do you think you’re heading in that direction? Sure.

#survey #surveys

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thebirdandhersong · 3 years

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Hey, so I've basically never watched any k-dramas, but I've read a lot of manga and manhwa and the automatic next step does feel like moving into k-dramas. You seem to have watched a number, so I was wondering if you could make a recommended list? Only if you felt like it of course, but it would be helpful! (Preferably of at least some which are on netflix uk, I looked up 18 again but it's unfortunately not on here in Britain :(. But if you have favourites I'd just like to know them so I can look out for them anywhere)

Also yay! Your term's ended!

(yanks open the door) did someone say RECOMMENDATIONS?? I DO have many!!! Boy do I have them!!!!

(YAY!! One last exam and I'm done for the summer!)

I love Eastern entertainment (manga, k-dramas, c-dramas, and movies from Korea and Taiwan) because of several reasons: the scripts are phenomenal nine times out of ten; Asian culture puts a strong emphasis on the importance of family, personal responsibility, learning from one's mistakes, expressing affection through gestures and acts of service, and friendship and I really love seeing that in a story; and they make good use of silence and stillness in shows and movies, which is pretty rare in Hollywood. The quiet moments between characters are more often than not some of the most important in the story and I Love That!!

The dramas I'm (briefly) listing are in bold if they're available on Netflix UK, and in bold and italicised if they're available on Rakuten Viki (which is a mostly-free drama streaming service, though unfortunately they're rather heavy on the ads). The Absolute Favourites are marked with stars (***). Though I can't actually see the whole list of dramas available in the UK, so some of these may be wrong, and it may be worth checking twice!

If you're in the mood for something fast-paced:

Descendants of the Sun (Viki); considered a Classic

- romantic comedy, medical drama, a bit of action

- The confident and charming leader of a Special Forces unit meets a reserved surgeon and they hit it off, after some... interesting misunderstandings. But after dating briefly and breaking up, they find themselves reunited on a peacekeeping mission in a war-torn country. Insert a lot of Suspense and Excitement but also a lot of Comedy and Sincere Declarations of Love.

- if you enjoy Song Joongki's performance, I'd also recommend his movie A Werewolf Boy. If you enjoy Song Hye-kyo's performance, I'd recommend her drama Encounter.

***Come and Hug Me (Viki, but I don't know if it costs money?)

- thriller/suspense, romance, this one genuinely stressed me out but the moments of peace and reconciliation (and the ENDING) were well worth it

- Their first loves during their youth ends in her mother's death and their separation. Years later, the lively daughter of the murdered woman is now an actress, and the introverted son of the serial killer has become a police officer. They meet each other again (Of Course) and have to tackle all sorts of Nonsense (including the serial killer's return, his murderous brother's return from prison, the Media, the ghosts of their past, etc. etc.) together. HUGE focus on forgiveness, hope, healing, unconditional and self-sacrificial love. Also one of the best redemption arcs (I did in fact bawl my eyes out)

- my friend just started crying when we first watched this drama together because the male lead is just so gentle and tenderhearted and steadfast :')

If you're in the mood for something a bit slower

***Goblin/Guardian (Viki); International Acclaim

- fantasy, drama, one of the funniest dramas I've ever watched, but also tears (I cried at a rate of around once every two episodes. This show talks a lot about life and meaning and the effect your actions and words have on the people around you.)

- Kim Shin, a general from the Goryeo Dynasty, is cursed to live as an immortal Goblin (a Korean mythical/fairy tale figure) until his destined Bride pulls the sword from his chest, thus breaking the 'spell' and ending his life. He really did not expect his bride to be the vivacious and irrepressible Eun-tak, though, and What's More!! He did not expect that he would start wanting to live again :))) Includes a surprising amount of comedy, a surprising amount of tears, and EXCELLENT screenwriting. (Descendants and Goblin share the same brilliant writer.)

- fun fact: parts of it were shot in Quebec!! One of the characters refers to Canada as "the maple nation" early on in the story and my friend and I just burst into laughter.

***Encounter (Viki, but I'm not sure if it costs money?)

- melodrama, romantic comedy, FAIRY TALE

- a cold and withdrawn woman, recently divorced because of her husband's infidelity, and a warm-hearted and optimistic young man meet on the streets of Cuba by accident, and upon separating without means of contact, find themselves back in Korea as boss and newly hired employee. This sounds like a recipe for disaster: stuffed to the gills with unnecessary workplace drama and gossip, etc. but the story focuses instead on family, vulnerability, transformation, sacrifice, about art, compassion, mending relationships, opening up to people, and about the beauty in bringing and receiving comfort and love.

- also. ALSO. Fairy tale!!! with illustrated opening and ending cards and everything!!! (they literally refer to her as the Ice Princess. And her Prince is the human equivalent of sunshine. I Love him)

- if you like Park Bo-gum's performance, I'd recommend Reply 1988, too!

***One Spring Night

- melodrama; quiet and understated but very beautiful

- A bright, clever, and sharp-tongued librarian meets a quiet, steady, and gentle pharmacist one day. It turns out that he's a single father, and she's trapped in a relationship that really isn't working out. Friendship! Family! Sisters standing up for each other and saying No I Won't Let You Treat My Sister Like This, You Jerk! Figuring things out! Learning how to love! I really don't know what else to say, except for the fact that I loved it very much!!

- if you enjoy Jung Hae-in's performance, I'd also recommend Something in the Rain (which should also be on Netflix!) for his acting alone. I just think he's neat.

Reply 1988

- slice-of-life, comedy

- In the late 1980s, five friends (four boys, one girl) who have grown up with each other since childhood are Going Through It in high school. This drama is all about the little things that happen in life, and about learning to understand your family and your friends. Deok-sun is just trying to survive all of This as the middle child, and as a young girl who is trying to figure this Romance thing out. In the present, adult Deok-sun is just as lively, and is now happily married..... but to whom? :))) A Lot of '80s Asian culture, daily antics, and good old friendship.

- if you like Park Bo-gum's performance, I'd recommend Encounter too :)

18 Again (Viki)

- romantic comedy, fantasy/time travel (sort of)

- Nearly twenty years of marriage, and things have been going Wrong all over the place. His wife wants a divorce, he's no longer close to his teenaged kids, and he's just lost the job he's been faithfully working at for years. Daeyoung wishes that he could go back somehow, and finds himself 18 once again.... except he's still in the present. Interesting things ensue. He enrolls in school (it turns out to be the same one his kids attend), and decides to pursue the dreams he had to give up when he was a teenager. Antics ensue! But also Healing: he gets to know his kids all over again, and is able to view his relationships with Dajung (whom he still loves. Of course) and his estranged father in a new light.

- I have not finished this drama yet but judging from the first third of it, it is both well-written and well-acted. There are a few things that I am not a fan of, but on the whole Lee Dohyun's performance is wonderful and I have already cried buckets.

Other honourable mentions:

100 Days My Prince: historical drama. Prince caught in an assassination plot, loses his memory, wakes up in a village right when the king issues a marriage law that results in his marrying the spirited 'spinster'.

Still 17/Thirty But Seventeen: 17 year old violin prodigy in a coma after an accident, wakes up when she's 30; the boy who inadvertently caused the accident runs into her again after she wakes up and helps her adjust to her new life. Lots of wacky humour, very sweet!!

#as per usual this is horrendously long #but i hope that this is helpful!!#k-dramas in the past have had some pretty questionable male leads #as in: the aggressively alpha male lead who thinks kindergarten bullying is a form of flirting #and i am very Not Here for that #so my favourite dramas tend to have Oak/Tilney/Wentworth-style male leads #ALSO!! storytelling in Eastern media takes a different approach than Western media #so it is so interesting to me to watch dramas like Goblin and 18 Again that take a pretty unconventional approach #songbird again

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zeppelin-and-unicorns · 3 years

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Zenmasters fanfic of the week

Fanfic #2:

Focus by Jenny7

Summary: After a metaphysical awakening, Hyde develops the ability to telepathically connect with a single stranger. What he doesn't expect is that the girl that he shares the connection with, a rich cheerleader with a complicated past, will forever alter his views on life and love.

This story has such a special place in my heart, and I feel like not too many people have read it, because it’s tagged as a crossover and it doesn’t show on the T70S category on ff.net.

Also one of the best stories I’ve ever read, this story is the perfect mix of fluff, love and drama. It’s amazing.

This work was inspired by the movie “In Your Eyes”. I've never seen the movie, but this story made me want to watch it so bad! The only reason I haven’t is because it’s not available on any streaming services in my country.

Jackie and Hyde share a connection neither of them can explain, but it changes their lives forever. Their minds are connected and they can communicate with each other perfectly, even with them living halfway across the country from each other.

If you have read the small preview of my soulmate AU, you might notice a similarity between it and the first chapter of this story. They are very different stories, don’t get me wrong, but Focus is what inspired me to begin writing Black Peonies in the first place.

This story is a complete AU, it can be considered a soulmate AU due to Hyde and Jackie’s unique connection, but they’re like the only people in the world that have this so I don’t know if it really fits the soulmate category.

Jackie lives in California, and Hyde lives in Point Place. His life is pretty much like the one we’ve seen on the show: he hangs out with his friends, has a shitty mother and smokes a lot of pot.

Jackie’s life is a bit different than what we saw at the show, but two things remain the same: her parents’ lack of affection and her naivety. She’s pretty much the Jackie we all know and love, minus Kelso.

I feel like I should warn you, there’s child abuse in this story, just in case this is a trigger for someone.

The story is 100% focused on Jackie and Hyde, so you won’t be seeing much of the gang on it, only the essential.

One of the things I love the most about this story, is that the author managed to write a very in-character Hyde and a very in-character Jackie, and that’s not an easy job, especially when their backgrounds are different from the ones we’ve seen on the show.

But my all time favorite thing in this story is how much their lives change after they start talking to each other regularly. Hyde teaches Jackie how to be a little more badass and rebel against her parents (which is adorable), and she softens him in a way no one ever did before.

This isn’t a long read, it only has 32k words, I’ve read the whole thing in one night.

I can’t recommend this story enough, it’s a very mood-lifter fic and it’s very well written. I promise that you’re not going to regret reading this.

If you have read this already, let’s chat, and discuss our favorite moments!

And if you didn’t read it, please do, it’ll make you happy❤

#zenmasters #fanfic of the week #jackie and hyde #jackie x hyde #fanfic recommendation #that 70s show #jackie burkhart #steven hyde #focus

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buckysbitch107 · 4 years

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I don’t know if requests are open, but if they are can I request a Steve Rogers x Reader where at the end of end game he goes back to his lover from the 40s but instead of Peggy it’s the reader(include any backstory that you want)? Like even his compass contains the picture of the reader and not Peggy. I love your wring so far btw, keep up the good work!!!

Home Isn’t Just A Place | Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: When Colonel Phillips himself delivered the letter stating the love of your life (and best friend since 5 years old) was dead, you were more than devastated. You were still mourning the loss of your fiancé, mindlessly fiddling with the ring on your finger, when a much harsher knock rang at your door. You expected it to be perhaps your sister or a delivery boy. What you certainly didn’t expect was for your fiancé, who you were told was dead, to be standing at your doorstep.

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Crying

Word Count: 2.38K

A/N: Hope this meets your standards! I tried my best with this one and i hope you enjoy it! Just a reminder that I will always be accepting requests! I will be writing a Part 2 to this, so stay tuned!

“It’s fine guys! I can cook something in the apartment!” You speak, the men on either side of you giving you a small glare.

“It’s our last night, (Y/N/N). We wanna make it special before you’re alone in the apartment.” Steve mentions, wrapping his arm around your waist. You’re still taller than him, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

“That restaurant isn’t that good anyway.” You whisper, trying so hard to hide the disappointment in your voice. You’d been looking forward to sitting in that restaurant since it opened, and when Bucky and Steve said they were taking you, that meant you could finally get a chance. That is, until you got there, and they didn’t have your reservation.

“Doll-” Bucky starts, soon being cut off by your voice.

“Guys. It’s fine, really.”

“No, it’s not (Y/N)! We wanted to treat you to something special, and now it looks like we’re having cabbage fuckin’ stew for dinner… again.”

“Or,” You pause, lifting your arm to point at the sign hanging off of the corner store at the end of the street. “We could get some food from Stan’s. It’s still open and we have enough money for some hot dogs.” The two men agree shortly after and the three of you quicken your pace, eager to get some food in your stomach. The small bell above the door rings through the air as the three of you walk in, the owner walking out from the back.

“Steve, Bucky, (Y/N)! Nice to see ya! What can I get for you?” Stan asks, his smile always bringing comfort to you three.

“Three hot dogs and three cokes please!” You respond, offering him a small smile yourself. He nods and taps some button on the register, pulling the crank before turning his head back up to you.

“Thirty cents please.” You start digging in your wallet when a hand stops you, and your head snaps to meet Steve’s eyes before he starts digging in his own wallet. He hands the man 30 cents before discreetly grabbing your hand, a small chuckle leaving your lips. Stan walks to the back and returns with three hot dogs in hand. He sets them down on the counter before reaching in the fridge and pulling out the drinks. You take them and thank him before walking out the door, Steve and Bucky following you out with their own.

“Let’s go to the docks! Watch the lights in the city!” You propose, turning back to face the two men. They agree and you all walk down to the docks, finishing your food and drinks shortly after getting there.

“Sorry, it had to end like this, (Y/N/N).”

“Meh, I liked this ending better. At least this way I can say fuck.” You giggle, turning back to look at your boyfriend. A soft melody fills your ears and you search for the source of the music. You soon find it as a band plays at an oceanside restaurant, where people are probably dining on the finest steaks and champagne, but you’re happy right where you are. Steve’s hand grabs yours and he smiles, both of his hands wrapping around your waist.

“Dance with me, doll.” You nod before placing your hands around his shoulders, the two of you slightly swaying to the music. Bucky lets out a short laugh before leaning against a lamppost. Steve grabs your hand and spins you around, the blue dress flying up around your waist as he twirls you in his arms. Your eyes drift closed as he continues to spin you, a laugh bubbling out of your mouth, and you finish turning and open your eyes to see Steve on one knee.

“Oh.” Your hands fly up to cover your mouth and you see Bucky smiling out of the corner of your eye as Steve pulls out a ring.

“I know, I know it isn’t much, but it’s what we could afford.”

“Wha-Whe-How?” You whisper.

“Well, we saved up for a bit.”

“I think you’re supposed to give a speech now, Stevie.” Bucky comments.

“I’m getting there!” Steve responds, making you let out a hoarse laugh before you start choking on your sobs. “Doll, you are the best thing to ever happen to me, Buck being a close second. You’ve always been there for me when I’m sick, which is a lot. I wanna be with you forever. I want to have kids with you, I want to give you the best white-picket-fence life I can. I swear to love you for the rest of our lives, if you’ll be mine. What do ya say doll?” By this time, your hands have migrated from your mouth to your chest, and you wipe your eyes while nodding your head, choking out a short “yes” before Steve slides the ring on your finger. As he stands up, you begin to cry harder as you pull him into a bear hug. He pulls away and you place both hands on his shoulders, looking at him sternly.

“You better come back to me, you hear me?”

“I promise I will, doll.”

“No, I need better than a promise.”

“I swear on my life, dollface. Besides, I wouldn’t leave my best girl behind.”

~~~

You’ve seen all the adverts and movies about the one and only Captain America. People see him as a hero, as the man who punches Nazis straight in the face and kisses babies, but you still see him as the little guy from Brooklyn who couldn’t run the mile from fourth grade on. Yes, you missed your fiance very much, but you had faith that he would keep his promise and come home after the war. A few months after Bucky and Steve left, you picked up a waitressing job in a mom-and-pop diner on the weekends and weeknights alongside your job as a science teacher. Bills aren’t going to pay themselves, and Bucky and Steve aren’t here to help you. You walk in the door, returning home from your morning shift at the diner, planning on quickly changing clothes before running out and volunteering at the animal shelter, something you always did on Saturdays. You throw on a simple dress, the pale yellow glowing in the sunlight streaming in from the window. Your plans suddenly change when a knock rings at your door.

“One second!” You yell, finishing pulling up the zipper on the back of your dress before walking over to the door, opening it to see Colonel Phillips himself. “Colonel Phillips.”

“Miss (Y/L/N). May I come in?” He asks, the solemn look on his face causing an uneasy feeling in your stomach.

“Of course, sir.” You open the door a little bit wider and he enters the apartment.

“You may want to sit.” You follow his instructions and sit yourself down at the kitchen table, now noticing the letter in his hands. “I wrote it all out on paper, but I also figured I should tell you in person.” He pauses, taking a deep breath. “Captain Rogers crashed a plane into the ice to save the lives of millions of people yesterday morning. I would have gotten here earlier but there were some complications with the plane.”

“No.” You mumble, standing up to directly face the colonel.

“He has been declared Killed in Action, along with James Barnes.” Your head snaps up at his comment, tears already pooling in your eyes.

“What-what do you mean they’ve both been killed in action? What-” A sob rising in the back of your throat cuts you off and you have to steady yourself against the table. Phillips places the letter on the table as you try to quiet your sobs. He quietly nods his head before turning to the door, about to step out when you choke out a short “wait”. Colonel Phillips turns around as you compose yourself, wiping the tears off your face.

“Yes ma’am?”

“Am I allowed to give you a hug?”

“Yes ma’am.” You wrap your arms around him and place your head on his shoulder, the colonel hugging you back shortly after. The two of you pull away and you whisper a small “thank you sir” before he nods and walks out the door. You turn around and grab the letter, ripping it open before focusing on the words carefully typed on the page:

Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N)

437 West Clermont Street

Brooklyn, New York, USA

11201

I regret to inform you that both Captain Steven Rogers and Sergeant James Barnes have been killed in action in service of their country. As you know, Captain Rogers freed over 200 men across enemy lines in Azzano, Italy. He then formed a squadron, the Howling Commandos. That squadron took down more enemy bases than any other in history. It is with deepest condolences that we regret to inform you than on Saturday, February 19th, Sergeant James Barnes fell out of a moving train while defending Captain Rogers. On Friday, February 25th, Captain Rogers crashed a plane into the Arctic in order to save over three million lives from nuclear bombings. Not only has America lost a soldier, America has also lost a hero.

Deepest regards,

Colonel Chester Phillips

A loud sob erupts from your mouth as you throw the letter on the table, your hands quickly covering your mouth.

“No. Nonononono, they can’t be dead. I can’t- I can’t do this alone.” You back up against the wall, slowly sliding down as your fingers thread through your hair. It’s only when you look back at the ring on your finger that your tears of pain turn to those of anger. “YOU PROMISED!” You scream, not giving a damn if the neighbors can hear you. Your head falls into your hands as you curl up into a ball, your sobs echoing through the now eerily empty house.

“You promised.

~~~

It was a nice funeral. A lot of people you knew were there. Dum-Dum, Gabe, Jim, and Monty came, while Jaques sent his condolences. It was small, but Steve would have liked it. Yeah, you sobbed, but so did everyone else. You sit numbly in your house, the walls no longer filled with laughter, the floors no longer covered in flour and paint, now only scuff marks from your pacing panic attacks. You’re mindlessly fiddling with your ring when a knock sounds at your door, this one sounding louder and overall harsher than the other ones you’d been experiencing for the past week. You stand up and walk over, not caring to check the peephole before opening it. And standing there, is the man you were told crashed a plane into the arctic.

“Wha-”

“Hi, doll.” You slowly start shaking your head before walking away from the door, simply leaving it open.

“No, no. Nonono. You crashed a plane into the arctic. Your signal went dead. You were presumed dead! I’m going mad, I’ve gone absolutely bonkers and now I’m imagining the love of my life is in my living room when he’s buried somewhere in the Arctic!” You rant to yourself, tears slowly gathering in your eyes. You stop when Steve puts both hands on your shoulders, stabilizing you and forcing you to make eye contact with him.

“God, is this what happened after I crashed?” He mumbles, looking up and down at your frantic form. Your clothes have become a little looser, your hair a little thinner, the bags under your eyes just a bit more noticeable. But that’s not the only thing that’s changed. You look at Steve and notice he looks… different. He looks older and more exhausted.

“You aren’t my Steve?”

“Sit down doll, I have a lot of explaining to do.”

~~~

“So you’re from-”

“Yeah.”

“But you still-”

“Mhm.”

“And I’m still-”

“Yep.”

“But wouldn’t this-”

“Nope.”

“Huh. And this Thanos dude he-”

“Eliminated 50% of all living beings. Yes.”

“And you’re back here because you’re delivering the stones back to their original places in time and wanted to see me?”

“Yeah pretty much.”

“Huh. Okay.”

“So, can I have this dance?” He stands up and reaches his hand out to you. You smile and take it, the man pulling you into him. You notice as the two of you start swaying that he’s suddenly more relaxed, and that he’s definitely gotten more muscular over the years. You dance for a little while longer before he tilts your chin up, meeting your lips for a gentle kiss. “God I missed you doll.”

“I missed you too.” The two of you stay silent a little longer before he pulls back slightly, a serious look on his face. Uh oh.

“Come back with me.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Come back with me. To 2023.”

“Stevie, I can’t. I have so many responsibilities, and it could mess up the timeline and-”

“Nope. Already checked with the Ancient One. Said it should be fine as long as no one knows about it.”

“Oh.”

“Plus, you can meet my friends, and we can finally get married, and Bucky will-”

“Wait what? Bucky’s alive?”

“Oh yeah, he was captured by HYDRA but we got him back.”

“You’re gonna need to catch me up on everything.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“Fine. I’ll come with you, but if I throw up it’s your fault.”

“Deal.”

~~~

“I’m trying to bring him back!” Banner yells, flicking switches and pressing buttons on the dash. Bucky bites at his cuticles, something he does when he’s nervous, also something you used to yell at him for. The launchpad starts whirring again and both Bucky and Sam’s heads shoot up at the noise, not familiar with it at all.

“Um, is that supposed to happen?” Sam asks.

“Only when there’s more than one body being transported.” Banner mumbles, pressing a few more buttons. “Okay. Bringing him back in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.”

“AH-oomph.” Bucky’s eyes widen as his brain registers the yellow dress, the sparkling eyes, the dazzling smile.

“(Y/N)?!” He yells, giving both you and Steve a confused look. You sit up on the launchpad and look around, not familiar with any of your surroundings.

“Hiya Buck! Oooh, love the hair! Nice to see it change from the ol’ buzzcut.”

Permanent Tags: @wintersoldierslut @breakmy-bedbarnes@stuckys-hot-dogs @andreasworlsboring101 @yaxamarvel @donutloverxo

Just a reminder that all requests are open! My masterlist is in my bio, so you guys know who I specialize in, but really I do anyone y’all request. As I’ve mentioned, nothing is too fluffy, angsty, smutty, or gorey for me. I mainly write Marvel and its characters/actors. I can also write some characters from other things, you just have to ask! Also please let me know if you want to be a part of the Permanent Tags! But please, for now,

Call me Emily

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers one shot #captain america x reader #captain america imagine #captain america one shot #captain america #steven rogers #captain america fic #angst #fluff #marvel #marvel x reader #comics #marvel captain america

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myhahnestopinion · 3 years

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THE AARONS 2020 - Best Film

Believe it or not, there were movies released last year - 75 of them at the very least, as that’s how many I watched. That’s 30 less than last year, even though I spent approximately 300% more time inside my home, but I’ll cut myself some slack. 2020 may have been a loss, but there were still some real winners to come out of it. Here are the Aarons for Best Film:

#10. The Assistant

It’s a sin of omission: No name is spoken in the film. No crimes are labeled. The towering chair in the middle of the shot sits empty, and yet the dangerous jaw of the doorframe is unmistakable. Kitty Green’s office procedural is made more nauseating in its minimalism; loosely based on the Weinstein sexaul assault scandal, The Assistant counts on a viewer’s familiarity, not just with the broad strokes of abuse, but the minutiae that enables it. By following a junior employee, played by the always tactful Julia Garner, through a series of daily mundanities, Green’s film shifts the spotlight, questioning our collective culpability in creating toxic environments. Every act must be an act of rebellion, the film says, or else we are assisting.

#9. Happiest Season

Happiest Season hit a snag last year: what was set to be a landmark in wide-release studio rom-coms became another victim of a pandemic that pushed people apart for the holidays. The homey movie might have hit harder in its Hulu-Original release though, as a needed reminder of the power of patience during difficult times. Harper (Mackenzie Davis) waits too long after an invite home for Christmas to tell her girlfriend Abby (Kristen Stewart) that she’s not out to her parents, imploring they keep the relationship a secret for the time being. It’s an unreasonable ask, prompted by unjust circumstances. By honestly exploring that conflict in hilarious, heartfelt fashion, Happiest Season was the most wonderful time of an interminable year.

#8. Wolfwalkers

Wolfwakers doesn’t run in a pack with the output of other animation studios, despite sharing a similar gravitas to the best of the Disney Renaissance. The wild style of its swirling sensory colors shed realism for an immersive, uninhibited fantasy world. Formatted like a proper fairy tale, the film centers on a moral: as wolfhunter’s daughter Robyn gains the ability to transform into the animal at night, the film walks viewers through overcoming fear of “the other'' in order to identify the true monsters among us. The howl of its voice actors, backed by a repurposed single by singer Aurora, completes this captivating creation. Released on the Apple TV+ streaming service, the film can rightfully boast of being one of the best of the year, so there’s no need to buy a wolf ticket.

#7. Onward

Onward put Pixar back on a forward-thinking path after a series of skippable sequels. Like director Dan Scanlon’s previous effort, it’s a smaller-scale saga for the studio, riffing on a classic comedic conceit rather than voicing existential crises: in a modernized fantasy world, two brothers take a road trip to locate a mystical artifact that can bring their father back for one more day. The quest is Pixar at its most magical, tweaking traditional tropes and tugging at one’s heartstrings. Despite the pieces being present, the film circumvents the jealousy of “knowledge vs. natural talent” that fueled Scanlon’s Monsters University; its vulnerable, supportive, affectionate sibling relationship made Onward especially moving.

#6. The Vast of Night

The Vast of Night plays on the vastness of imagination, tracking a young radio DJ and a switchboard operator through interviews that untangle the extraterrestrial events of their small town. In effect, the film is the Super 8 of the podcast world, plugging into the particular power of its medium by way of a retro-sci-fi adventure. For those on that wavelength, the atmospheric indie is an equally eerie and enticing beacon to the thrill of discovery. This audial focus doesn’t come at the expense of its visual format, mind you: the film’s hypnotic hold is only broken once - by the absolutely stunning construction of its midpoint tracking shot, one for the record books.

#5. Tenet

A question of cause-and-effect: did Christopher Nolan’s newest blockbuster fall into my top five for the year, or was a new Nolan novelty destined to place there before the year even began? His filmography has been on a roll since its inception, and the director keeps that forward-momentum going with the twisty Tenet, a time-bending thriller about agents unraveling a temporal cold war. Any way you look at them, the innovative, physics-based action scenes astound. Meanwhile, the midpoint movement turns on wondrous, child-like glee. With this grand of a scale, it’s a shame that Nolan’s devotion to the big screen despite the pandemic hampered the release; it seems some of the director’s tenets are better than others.

#4. His House

The works of Jordan Peele will likely be at the forefront of a viewer’s mind during His House, but, make no mistake, the film has horrors all its own. It’s a similar set-up to Get Out: a South-Sudanese refugee couple endure the various racist micro-aggressions of trying to assimilate or accommodate to an unwelcoming environment, even before learning their government-mandated housing is haunted. While that’s the foundation, His House’s ultimate form is unexpected, linked not to the guises of progress, but to the guilt of the past. Its supernatural sequences are made more startling by the raw performance of stars Sope Dirisu and Wunmi Mosaku; they own His House.

#3. First Cow

Behind every successful man, there stands a cow. Director Kelly Reichardt continued her career-long deconstruction of the Western last year in her best bittersweet concoction, First Cow. Pioneers Cookie and Lu seek the promise of the frontier in 1800s Oregon Country, sneaking milk from a wealthy land-owner’s cow to start an oil-cake business. The camaraderie is lovely, but that contract is a lie: the truth is a world in which only capital begets capital, where the rich are more concerned with having something than using it. Reichardt doesn’t beef up this drama with overblown conflicts, instead milking the minimalism to ‘udderly’ devastating results: they were the first, but we’ll all be waiting on that Western promise of prospect ‘til the cows come home.

#2. The Invisible Man

Often, movies will ask viewers to look at their monsters as metaphors; sometimes, they’re just monsters through and through. The Invisible Man, an update on the classic Universal film, polishes up the original’s special effects, but makes its titular character much uglier. Bringing the invasive nature of invisibility to the surface, the film reinterprets the character as a domestic abuser, gaslighting his ex, Cecilia, from beyond his supposed grave. Elizabeth Moss makes it a must-watch, never letting the audience look away from the trauma and terror of that situation. It’s highly-disturbing horror, made more so by an ending that leaves viewers in the dark, and the craft is always phenomenal. Director Leigh Whannell clearly had vision since his very first film project, but after The Invisible Man, everyone will be saying, “Saw who?”

AND THE BEST FILM OF 2020 IS...

#1. Straight Up

Straight Up? One of the best rom-coms of recent memory, and my favorite film of an odd year. It’s a fittingly off-beat premise after all: a young gay man and an equally-witty young woman, each struggling with intimacy in different ways, explore an unusual romantic relationship with each other. In a time when we were all cut off from connections with other people, Straight-Up reexamined internalized phobias and millennial malaise to forge new ones, uncovering the rare occurrence of a platonic ideal. With whip-smart dialogue, reflective filmmaking, and two star-making central performances, you will surely fall as in love with Straight Up as I did, and that is nothing less than My Hahn-est Opinion.

NEXT UP: THE 2020 AARON FOR WORST FILM!

#film #TheAarons #best film #best picture #best of 2020 #top 10 #straight up #the invisible man #first cow #his house #tenet #the vast of night #onward #wolfwalkers #happiest season #the assistant #TheAarons2020

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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The Three Caballeros Movie Review: Rejoice Now Donald’s Been Laid (Commission)

It’s time at long last we talked about those three happy chappies in snappy serapes. Who say so? @weirdkev27 say so! He’s planning on funding an ENTIRE retrospective on the boys, so in addition to my Tom Lucitor Retrospective (Expect that to return very soon as one of the episodes in it is time sensitive), Road to Just Us Justice Ducks, and look at “The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck”. I’m proud to announce a new recurring feature on this blog “The Ride of the Three Caballeros!”, a look back at these birds of a feather who flock together and their wild and wonderful history cumulating in “The Legend of The Three Caballeros”. Honestly I thank Kev for the idea as it’s a damn good one. Ever since seeing them on House of Mouse, which I both really need to cover and Disney needs to add already as we’re a year into Disney plus already, I’ve loved Jose and Panchito, and reading barks story years ago, and again recently, gave me a lasting love of these goofs. They have great snappy designs are the rare pre-ducktales 2017 non duck bird character, and have wonderful personalities. There’s nothing not to love and thus nothing not to love about covering their adventures. So i’m excited for this and not just for the much needed christmas money. Naturally we’re starting the adventure here with the founding of the trio, though Kev, for now he could change his mind, choose to start with this movie instead of it’s predecessor Saludos Amigos, on this date for two reasons. The first is it’s Friday the 13th, which besides being the basis for an utter classic of a Hey Arnold episode

Which yes for those unfamiliar with Hey Arnold features Arnold dealing with a spell of bad luck, some bullies and his grandmother dressing up wlike a black cat to rescue black cats, which is sweet.. and training them into her horrifying army of the damned, which is somehow still sweet as it is awesome. It’s also the day this guy barges into my house thinking it’s camp crystal lake

I swear to gods Jason GET A FUCKING PHONE WITH GPS. We are not clearly not teenagers. And he’s always so embarrassed and the stab wounds always take so long at the hospital to treat. It’s just a mess. But it’s also, according to this film Donald’s BIrthday! This was during an earlier point in his career, that will be important in a bit, so Disney hadn’t yet settled on their tradition of having their characters birthday’s being the same date as their first appearance. For the record that would make Donald and Della’s current birthday June 7th. I did a special on Donald Duck shorts for it this year. Not sure what i’ll do the next. We will see. And for fun and my own curiosity I looked up the birthdates of some of the other Ducktales castmembers as well as my boys here They are:

Jose: August 24th (World Premier of Saludos Amigos) Panchito: December 21st (The Mexico City Premiere Date for this very movie) Scrooge: November 14th (Thank you INducks seriously it’s a massive help with this. Daisy: June 7th (Debut of Mr. Duck Steps out) Huey, Dewey and Louie: October 17th (First appearance in Donald’s Newspaper Strip) Webby, Beakley and Launchpad: September 18th, thanks to launchpad’s driver’s license as well as all three characters debuting in the opening arc. Though to separate them i’d likely try to find different dates for both. For now i’m going with October 12th for Mrs. Beakly (The airing date for the Ducktales 87 ep maid of myth) and October 29th for Webby (the airing date for another 87 episode, this one about webby and a horse). Gladstone: August 15th, as while it was released in january there is no firm release date for it. Plus a summer birthday fits him better anyways. Thank you Inducks for that. Magica: September 28th, finally a firm publication date. While there’s a creation date unlike Gladstone I see no need to use it. Darkwing Duck/Drake Mallard: September 6th GLOMGOLD: July 26th Was that entirely necessary? No Would I do it again.. absolutely. It also means I really need to do something for Scrooge’s Birthday in two days. But that’s future me’s problem. Current day me has his own problems specifically a movie review to continue. The films genesis was a in a good will tour Disney did in South America, as part of America’s Good Neighbor Policy. FDR started it in order to try and strengthen ties between Latin America and North America, to prevent any sort of war with our close neighbors and to foster good economic ties between both as well as integrate Latin culture into americans lives to make them care about those countries more. And given it was started as HItler’s rise to power grew, and America knew they’d inevitably be dragged into World War II, and thus wanted to put the kibosh on several Latin American’s Nazi Ties. So in exchange for Money, since Disney was struggling due to overextending itself and the big animator’s strike at the time, The US sent Walt and some of his animatiors to South America, where MIckey Donald and Goofy were big and to make a film based there. Hence we got Saludos Amigos which is .. kind of forgettable to be honest, though the Gaucho Goofy segment is fantastic as the “How to” shorts with goofy around the time usually were. But the film gave us Jose, hence why Donald and him are familiar with each other here, and was a moderate success. This lead to the Goverment, who’d already contracted a bunch of propaganda, one of which I covered in my Donald Duck Shorts Birthday Marathon because it contained prototypes for Gladstone and Scrooge, so another feature for South America was a win win: The US got another way to strengthen ties between the Americas, and Disney got a film they could put out during said war to lift spirits, as well as on that would likely be a hit in South America due to them not being under wartime money crunch or the misery of having a war looming overhead. As a side note. I found out after looking at the wikpiedia article on The Good Neighbor Program.. it eventually and sadly collapsed as the US post WWII shifted to the Cold War and thus threw away non interference if it meant beating the Russians. Classy. So yeah.. this film and i’ts predecessor are technically propaganda pictures. There was also another disney full length propoganda picture about fighter jets, I only learned about this thanks to the slashfilm article I found on the movie that told me a lot of this in the first place. It’s not avaliable but it should be.. though at the very least unlike say House of Mouse, Wander Over Yonder, Penn Zero: Part Time Hero, American Dragon Jake Long, The Weekenders, Pepper Anne and MANY more, it’s absence from Disney + makes sense. And I will continue to bitch about this till Disney actually starts adding more legacy animated shows, or at least makes a few of it’s own, though I will concede reviving the Mickey Mouse shorts that Disney Channel started up is a VERY good first step and i’m sure What If and Proud Family: Louder and Prouder will be fine. I just want more animation content on the streaming platform of one of the biggest animation studios in the world with one of the most storied histories. I’m REALLY not asking a lot.

That bit of bitching aside I will give Disney+ credit where it’s due. The service offers MOST of the Disney vault for a very reasonable price a month, in crisp HD, and thus allows someone like me, who hasn’t really dived into the disney vault and slept on watching three cabs despite borrowing it from some friends, to dive into beautiful animation like this any time. It also allows me to explore disney’s older films, the ones I want to anyway, at my leisure and it’s a REALLY nice feeling. It’s also nice to have all the various animated shows in nice clean copies. So while there are sizeable gaps in the library, many of which as highlighted above have no reason for not being there and some like Song of the South have DAMN GOOD reason for never being there, I still apricate the service for being a vast, glorious digital library of Disney content as well as stuff they’ve acquired like the marvel show library, and this review would not have been as easy to do without it. So with my opinions on D+ and the exposition for WHY this exists out of the way, as I couldn’t find much else on this flim’s background, join me after the read more for a full review of the film! Who says so? I says so!

We open with.. the Disney+ content warning again. In my review of the last part of “Catch as Cash Can” I went on about how much I apricated it and it stands: while i’m not blind that it’s a blanket statement to cover disney’s rears, it’s still apricated for them to care enough to force the content warning on the viewer. Given how bad they usually are at falling on the right side of history, this is very admirable. Though thankfully this film isn’t as offensive as the last content warning I got for the last part of “Catch as Cash can” aka “Watch registered White Guy Hamilton Camp play a bad indian sterotype for 22 minutes while my soul slowly dies”. Here there are bits, which i’ll get to now to save me the trouble later: The Littlest Gaucho’s side characters are all drawn pretty carcturish and a bit cringe inducing. The other is of course Panchito our Mexican representative.. who wears a sombrero and shoots two pistols around. And there’s just a tinge of white man going ot another country to get laid with the way Donald behaves throughout the picture. Basically little touches here and there but nothing that spoils the picture overall or makes whole scenes unwatchable. Still worth having the warning up, but not worth getting too worked up over. So onto the film itself and as mentioned i’ts Donald’s birthday! And I will say the film has lots of great little gags here and there.. I won’t be pointing all of them out because this film was 70 minutes long but their very charming. HIs first gift is a projector and screen.. which he naturally has to fight to get working and which first projects on his ass, already a good start. And a general thought I like is how receptive Donald is to soaking in another culture. He just seems joyusly enthralled by the various films, gifts and places his friends bring him..

But again we’ll get to that. Point is it’s very nice to see Disney portay learning about another culture so positively and with such a hot head as donald. Even if i’ts in part to appease the US Goverment, ther’es a genuine feeling that they truly fell in love with these countries and aren’t JUST shilling them because it’s in their contract, but because they genuinelly liked it there. So with that we get to our first segment. See the film is one of Disney’s Package films, anthology films taking a bunch of short segments and pasting them together, but here it’s framed through the narrative of DOnald’s birthday, so there is KIND of a plot.. but it’s mostly an excuse for musical numbers, short films, and more musical numbers.

Dammit Elmo, we will get to it! So naturally i’l lbe dividing up this review into various pieces. First up...

1. The Cold Blooded Penguin: Life of Pablo, The Good Version This is a brief but endearing short about a Penguin named Pablo who dosen’t like cold weather, can relate, and wants to move to some tropical paradise, again can relate. It’s BARELY related to the theme of hte movie, celebrating Central and South America, but it’s so damn charming I can’t help but love it. And Pablo is so damn adorable, as are his friends. I mean look at him.

He’s just so precious and you just want him to finally get to his paradise with the help of his friend, his boiler there smokey joe, and root for him as his farewell party dwindles from a bunch of penguins to just bob and gary here.

I may love Gary, the tall one, more than I love Pablo honestly> His sad eyes or the way he’s the ONLY one who sticks it out to the end, seeing Pablo off at last. Pablo’s first attempts, going without his boiler, which just ends iwth him freezing and attempting to carry smokey joe on his back both fail, he eventually decides to go with a boat and cleverly simply saws the ice berg he’s on so it’ll drift with his house and possessions, and has Gary hit it with a bottle both to christen it and to send it flying. Plus having bags on the bags on my eyes myself, I can relate to their tired expressions. As can we all after this year. Just a month and a half and it’s finally blessedly over.

Pablo makes his way through, finally finding his island only to nearly have his iceberg melt before he gets there. But he persevers and gets his paradise, even adorably eating a banana> Though it ends on a mealoncholy yet still funny note of Pablo missing home even though he has a pet turtle/butler now. Man I want one of those. One final note is that the short is narrated greatly by Sterling Holloway.. aka the future WInnie The Pooh using that exact voice which while a little weird in hindsight, just makes the short that more adorable if you imagine Pooh is reading a story to you. Just a really damn cute short with some good and intentive gags, and penguins. I mean i’ll be honest I have a soft spot in my hart for those tudeoxed boys thanks to the comic strip BLoom County and it’s lead character Opus taking up a LOT of real estate in my heart and brain. Here’s a few samples of him just so you get why.

Just a sweetheart. Though his honker would grow exponenitally with time. And once get grabbed by a card carrying MAGA asshole. But I can talk about my boy here and this strip again another day. Point is I may love pengies but even that aside this is a good short and a good way to start things off. Sadlly the pacing then lops out a bit as the next two bits aren’t QUITE as entertaining.

2. Birds Birds Birds: Of Arcuan BIrds and Toucan Sex Donald then watches a film on birds, and i’ts basically just a bunch of short funny gags with various tropical birds. There are a FEW notable bit sin the short, and I will get to them now, but otherwise it’s just okay.. not great but not exactly memorable. I honestly forgot there was anything BUT the Arcuan bird in this bit. Speaking of which A) The Arcuan Bird, a hyperactive pink little guy who makes a little “yatatata” noise, and boops donald a bit and later shows up in the film to steal Jose’s Cigar. Easily the most entertaining part of this section and there’s a reason why he became a massive fan faviorite, as well as got a more expanded roll in Legend of the Three Cablleros. He’d also apparently later return for another Package Film. What a bird. B) There’s a bit with Toucans, which I remember because I freaking love Toucans, the big colorful beaks look neat contrasted with their black and white bodies and they seem friendly and the one fictional one besides Toucan Sam I can rmemeber is Tuca of Tuca and Bertie. Nuff said. And because they mention the Tucan’s making love. First off this is how a Tucan makes love.

And secondly, clealry the term has evolved considerably, but it’s still chuckle inducing to have that term in a disney movie, especially since it makes me think of a number of things most notably this.

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Which, fun fact, is the song that will likely be sung when Donald and Daisy finally have sex in the Ducktales Reboot. Della didn’t buy those choir robes for nothing. Though the joke here is simply that they can’t kiss because they have big noses. GET IT. Though I have seen incompatable noses end marriages.

See I told you his honker got bigger. Okay onto the 3rd thing from this bit.

C) The Flamingos, who retract into themselves while Donald adorably copies. What a boy. With that I can move on from this segement thankfully and onto... an even worse one!.. wait...

3. The Littlest Gaucho: The Boring One This one’s a leftover from Saludos Amigos, likely because that one already had a Gaucho Bit with goofy and because it’s not very good. But Disney was strapped for cash so use everything you got. And yes I advocated for using everything in my review of life and times part 1.. but that’s more for a shared universe and left “Oh hey I found this short in our garbage let’s put it in another movie to save money” way. I appreciate being cheap, I myself am unemployed and right now these reviews are my source of income, but you could’ve just you know.. let the film be shorter? You didn’t have to waste animation leading inito this bit. This one is the story of a young boy, as narrated by his older self who can somehow see through the veil of time and yell at his younger self. How?

But it dosen’t really help the story as i’ve seen far better interactive narrators and ones clearly editing history. Especially since, despite ending on a VERY sour note, How I Met Your Mother was a pro at this. It’s not the film’s fault, but even back int he 40′s I swear they could do this better.

It’s the simple story of the little Gaucho finding a flying Donkey, befriending him, and then entering him in a jockey race which they win. There’s one or two good gags here, but it dosen’t have the cutness of the previous segments and only one or two good gags. It just feels like filler and if I watch the film again, which I probably will, I will fast forward past this. Thankfully after this we finally get a break.

4. A Song For Bahia: They call him JOSEEEEEEEEE.. and he’s Donald

Jose enters! Donald’s next gift is a book from Brazil that’s smoking..mostly because so’s Jose. The two friends reunite, with Jose in a story book asking Donald about , what I assume is Jose’s home state of Bahia, one of Brazil’s 20 states and spelled Baia in this movie for some reason. We then get an absolutely beautiful sequence of Jose’s voice actor singing about Bahia and showing off how beautiful the country is through gorgeous animation. It’s a really marvelous segment and really pretty to look at. And once that segment’s done the film starts to pick up in energy, though unlike the Gaucho segment, the Bahia song is actually good.

5. Os Quindins de Yayá: The Sleeper Has Awakened.. and by the sleeper I mean Donald’s Penis. There’s a few bits here. We start with the wonderful song, “Have You Ever Been to Bahia?”.. which is almost entirely Jose asking that to donald who says no, with some fun mindscrewy animation.. the film has not BEGUN to mindscrew, but we’ll get to that.

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Also for this segment Jose apparently has Jamie Madrox powers.. or he’s from Cragg.. either way, Donald hasn’t been to Baia so let’s go. The boys take a train, the Arucan messes things up again, etc etc and soon their in Baia where two major aspects of the film show up: Blending Live action with animation, and Donald being really horny. It’s not to a creepy degree outside of one segment, we’ll get there, but Donald being really into live action women is a major part of three segments of this film. If your wondering while Daisy had debuted, she wasn’t the ETCHED IN STONE, presence she’d become for Donald. Which I don’t have a problem with, I love them in Ducktales 2017, their one of the few tolerable aspects of the quack pack’s i’ve watched, and they were great in House of Mouse. I”m just saying some works don’t really have her around in them (Donald’s spy and papernik adventures), while other more charming and eligible women are, while others have her as outright abusive (Legend of the Three Caballeros). I’m not against Donsy when done properly, again huge fan of the Ducktales 2017 version of the couple, I just dont’ think it has to be mandatory. The fact the Italian comics made Donald a fairly likeable alien queen as a love interest proves it.

But yeah here Donald’s thirsty as fuck, can relate, and thus we get our next musical number.. and that blend of live action and animation. I will admit, especially on second viewing.. it’s pretty obvious their mostly using a green screened animated backdrop with the charcters on it. The other segments are much more integrated. That being said.. i’m perfectly fine with it, as Disney was on a really low budget, only able to get financing for package films like this since their main financer wouldn’t given them money for anything but shorts, so it was a workaround, not to mention having a mass talent exodus over the strike and World Fucking War II to contend with. So cheeping out on ONE segment in a large film, and STILL having it come out good is fine just fine. And it truly does, the segment centers around Yaya, a cookie seller and the object of Donald’s affections, though he gets mad when a guitar man slips in and woos her instead for a bit before eventually leaving her alone, with Donald getting a kiss. But while parts of that clearly haven’t aged well, it’s an utterly joyous and fun musical number in an already fun musical, and Aurora Miranda who plays Yaya, and is sister of Carmen Miranda something Disney actually put in promotional materials.... come to think of it I didn’t watch the trailer.. I’ll get to it in a moment. Point is, Miranda is very talented and it’s VERY fun number. Have a listen since the sequence itself is WAY to long to put video of up on youtube.

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And having watched the trailer during that music break, it’s not bad, I expected more cringe. The most I got was them calling the women “latin american lovlies” which.. seems.. wrong. But with the romance of Bahia setting and Donald dragged out by Jose, we can get into our next segement as, over halfway in, we finally get our third Cabllero

6. The Three Cablleros: Who Say So? We Say So!

HERE COMES THE PANCHITO Ladies and Gentleman and Others! HERE COMES THE PANCHITO! the moment you’ve been waiting for! HERE COMES THE PANCHITO! the pride of Mexico! HERE COMES PANCHITO! Panchito Pistoles!

When then meet Panchito who joyfully shoots guns around, because stereotype but thankfully he’s also joyful, jubilant and likeable much like his pal Jose. Panchito’s just a thoughtly likeable character and next to his smooth talking pal, it’s easy to see why the two became huge fan favorites. And thus we get our title track.

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IT’s a beautiful, fun segment, that while some portions, such as Panchito’s yelling or “some Latin baby’ haven’t aged particularly well, is still a fun colorful number with amazing music and great gags, that utterly sells our boys camaraderie. I have no notes, ten out of ten flawless classic number. Who Say So? I SAY SO! Also given both boys kiss Donald at some point.. yeah these boys are bi as fuck and damn i’ts awesome.

7. Mexico: Bored Again, Naturally. Donald then gets a pinata and we get a short story about a bunch of kids going around to places only to be told “no shelter no posada”. Like the Gauchito bit.. it’s pretty boring and nonconesquential and only gets a leg up due to being far shorter and a little adorable versus not really as adorable as the segement thinks it is. The kids end up at a party with a pinata. We do get a fun sequence after this nothing of a story of Donald batting a pinata around while the boys mess with him a bit. It’s fun stuff. Out of the PInata we get another storybook, and another slow segement of Panchito singing about mexico which is a less fluidly animated, and thus far less entertaining, version of the Bahia song.. diffrent song, same premise of a bird melodically and beautifully singing about his home land, but less engaging because it’s just still images. I get they were low on budget but while I can forigve that for the Yaya sequence.. this one.. I just can’t as they not only already did this, but did it less good the second time around. The song is lovely though, and I do miss a time in our culture when we looked at Mexico with fondness and didn’t have a FAR too large portion of our population think anyone from there should go back where they came when they come to our brave country to find shelter, aslym and opportunity just because they didn’t go through “proper channels’ even though that’s difficult. WHat i’m saying is fuck our immigration policy for the last 4 years, and bless the president-elect for planning to fix that ASAP. I felt it was worth mentioning in a review ABOUT a Mexican character who, in the reboot, is an immigrant to America.

8. Everybody Dance: Another fun number.

We’re onto Mexico and it’s time for another musical number

So our heroes dance, Donald hits on some more women.. stuff we’ve seen before but it’s still a fun beautiful song and unlike the last bit while the animation has clearly aged enough to be more obvious, it still looks great next to the various live action dancers and blends real well. A fun time that gives us more great music and another reminder from donald that...

I mean I get being thirsty as shit, again can relate.. but the next segment takes it from Donald and the Boys being kinda horny to.

9. The Beach: Donald Gets Creeptacular

Yeah this bit is .. less endearing. The boys fly the serape over to a beach, and divebomb the girls, which isn’t a sex act.. that i’m aware of. But yeah chasing around several women, and donald leaving the Serape to chase them around old beach movie/benie hill/trying my patience style. It’s cringe is what i’m saying as a man literally chasing a woman around is considered flirtitng here and that’s all kinds of EUGGGGHHHH. The previous segments had Donald be kind of respectful in his woman chasing: while he was pretty horny, he also tipped his hat, flirted a bit, asked to dance you know, normal shit.. not decided “let’s chase them with a serape that will turn them on!’ jesus.. yeah not much to say here either just.. really creepy. But we have not reached peak horny donald yet.. oh no.

10. Donald’s Surreal Revere: WHAT EXACTLY THE FUCK.

Dora Luz appears in the sky of Mexico after the boys exit the book and flip to Mexico’s night life... just go with hit and Donald swoons over her before joining her int he book and after getting a kiss from her and swooning over her.. has an acid trip. I .. I don’t know how else to describe Donald’s surreal reverie. It’s clear Walt just told the animators do whatever. I will TRY to describe this sequence as best I can, but I make no promises except what I describe is exactly what happened, see for yourself.

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Okay so after Dora’s magical floating kisses, just go with it, kiss donald he explodes, in a rocket blast clearly symbolizing his errection, then becomes a neon sign and a hummingbird, just go with it, tries to kiss Dora’s image appearing on a flower, then Jose and Panchito BURST out of the flower with tiny chipmunk voices and gun violence, a SCREAMING TECHNICOLOR TRANSTION, dora singing the song in the middle of a flower again , donald making out with the flower but it turning out ot be panchito with a giraffe neck saying “Some fun eh kid?”, donald falling through a sea of ladies, donald chasing the ladies on a serape. Donald’s disembodied head looking at the ladies before bursting out of the picture to chase them GOOD GOD DID WE NEED MORE OF THAT?! The boys ending up on female bodies and them some sort of horse abomination. Then we get into what must of inspiried a young david Lynch as donald kisses the flower agian, then ends up in one as they replay a creepy whispery recording of either Jose or Panchito saying pretty girls while we see still images of the girls from the beach. Hummingbird Flower Donald then has a romantic duet with a lady because WHY NOT at this point, then multiple donalds before he spins away. We get one last number with donald dancing with living cacti that turn into mini donald’s that’s slightly more sane and finally this bit is done. IN conclusion.

I just.. I have no words. The giant mess of text up there should explain it and I purposfully didn’t divy it up as i’ve been trying to do more often, as it deserves to be one long string of nonsense. I just.. it’s beautiful to look at but what the hell was that. Is this going to happen every time Donald and Daisy have sex? Is this what Donald’s brain is like all the time? Did Panchito inject him with pure liquid acid?

So yeah we thankfully conclude the film after that with

14. The Wrap UP The boys horse around with a bull and then heartwarmingly watch fireworks together.. there isn’t much to add it’s jsut fun to watch and a nice pallete cleanser after loosing my sanity. Isn’t that right keith david?

You always say that! So...

Final Thoughts: I’ve made my thoughts on the various segments clear, but what of the film as a whole? As a whole.. it’s pretty fun. Is it the best film Disney’s Produced? probably not. But it’s a fun, brisk 70 minutes, hampered by a few slow spots and some weird horny bits, and various segments feel like an acid trip despite having never taken acid. But our boys easlly anchor the surreality and thirst and all three have great chemistry both comedically, friendship wise and romantically. It’s also very easy to see why this film and it’s cablleros got big in Mexico and Brazil as the film seems like a love letter to both, and is fairly respectful. WHich for the time, sex tourism aside, is pretty damn inspried. So yeah in conclusion, this is a really fun memorable film, it was even better on a second watch and it’s an enjoyable colorful reminder of Disney’s package film era, which I might dig into a bit.. I just may have to borrow a copy of make mine music.. guess what just got added to my list of “why the fuck isn’t this on disney plussss?”

Regardless this was a fun review and auspcious start to the ride of the Cablleros. if you’d like to comission your own movie or tv review, hit up my ask box or submit box or shoot me an ask to get my discord. You can also join my patreon, patreon.com/popculturebuffet, Until then you can check this space for the various ongoing series mentioned and regular Ducktales coverage every monday. Until then, Adios, with a christmas message from my personal fourth Cabllero

#the three caballeros #donald duck #panchito pistoles #jose carioca #bahia #mexico #donsy #opus the penguin #bloom county #ducktales #aurora miranda #disney #disney plus #disney +#disney+#comissions #ride of the three cablleros

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letterboxd · 3 years

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Found Family.

Riders of Justice writer-director Anders Thomas Jensen opens up to Aaron Yap about grimly funny fairy-tales, woke teenagers and creating an accidental Christmas movie with hunky muse, Mads Mikkelsen.

“Genres, that’s just a sales tool really. That’s to give people, show people, ‘are we having sushi or are we having Italian?’ Sometimes I like it when you don’t know what you’re getting.” —Anders Thomas Jensen

It’s stupidly easy to sell writer-director Anders Thomas Jensen’s new film Riders of Justice on its thirsty pulp appeal alone. Who can resist the promise of Danish acting force Mads Mikkelsen finally getting a decent John Wick-ish vehicle of his own, stoically meting out anguished, bloody vengeance to a cadre of underworld thugs? Certainly not, among many Letterboxd members, Harlequinade, who was moved to write this ode:

“MikkelGod sporting a bushy beard MikkelGod wearing a military uniform MikkelGod wearing a suit MikkelGod having this whole silverfox daddy thing going on MikkelGod killing a man with his big beautiful bare hands MIKKELGOD 🤗🙏🏻😍”

But to dismiss Riders of Justice as another entry in the seemingly endless slew of action-revenge pics would also be to undersell its other layers. Much more than Wick, your average Liam Neeson thriller-of-the-month, or even the recent avenging-dad flick, Nobody, Riders positions itself in a more emotionally and psychologically rewarding space, one perhaps closer to its tonally fluid South Korean counterparts. “What lingers,” Douglas Davidson writes, “are the questions Anders presents and the strange hopefulness that flickers upon the credits roll, burning like the embers of a dying fire in the darkness of night.”

It’s of a piece with all of Jensen’s directorial work thus far. A prolific screenwriter who’s penned everything from soulful early Susanne Bier heartbreakers to the recently misfiring The Dark Tower adaptation, Jensen, as a director, has found a sharply honed groove in the form of grimly funny, genre-defying modern fairy-tales populated by oddball characters forced to contend with the chaos of the inscrutable cosmos around them.

Causality plays an even more pronounced role in Riders. The film’s unlikely heroes—hard-bitten special forces soldier Markus Hensen (Mikkelsen) and a trio of bumbling data wizards (Lars Brygmann and Jensen regulars Nikolaj Lie Kaas and Nicolas Bro)—are drawn together to take down a vicious biker gang, but also preoccupied with processing the hows and whys of grief and trauma, and of course, the value of revenge.

Amid the terse blasts of gunfire, the film foregrounds scenes of connection and healing between its characters, an assortment of progressive teens and bumbling middle-aged men whose unusual found-family dynamic recalls Jensen’s previous dark, offbeat comedies like Adam’s Apples and Men and Chicken. As More_Baddass writes, the film gifts us some “Christmastime therapy of an unorthodox family”.

Over Zoom, we spoke about whether it’s possible to make Mikkelsen less handsome, why Denmark won’t be getting a sci-fi blockbuster anytime soon, and the time that Jensen and a friend tried to break the Guinness World Record for movie-watching.

‘Riders of Justice’ cast members Lars Brygmann, Andrea Heick Gadeberg, Mads Mikkelsen, Nikolaj Lie Kaas and Nicolas Bro.

Riders of Justice is one of your more action-packed films. Did you watch any other action flicks, or were there any specific movies that inspired you while you were designing and creating the action in this film? Anders Thomas Jensen: It’s funny, because it’s always subconscious. I never look for inspiration directly because for me, that would be weird to do because then you’re just copying. Definitely in the back of my mind, there’s a lot of action movies and a lot of revenge movies that I’ve seen in the past that will work their way in there. The process for me is very, how do you say, unconscious? What’s it called?

Intuitive? Intuitive, that’s the word. Thank you. First of all, a revenge movie is not easy, but it always has a strong lead and it has a strong will, which is obviously really good if you want to do a script that moves forward. Hamlet is a revenge story, right? I love Once Upon a Time in the West. I love that. The Searchers. The Sting, I guess, is also a revenge movie. Also, there’s so much identification in people who are wronged.

Wish fulfilment. Yeah that too. It’s one of the obviously basic human feelings. Revenge, love. There are these emotions that you’ll do dramas based on long after we were here.

I understand that you took a break from directing for a while and you were spending time raising your family. I’ve noticed, with Men & Chicken and Riders of Justice there’s a lot of attention paid to parenthood, and the role of the parent. Was that intentionally woven into these narratives and something you were thinking of? Yeah. I don’t do it on purpose, but I can definitely see that every movie I ever made I’m very much a part of it. So the whole father story is part of my life in this movie. I have a teenage daughter who I sometimes feel like … I don’t at all have the emotional tools that she and her friends have. This new woke generation that I’m aware of; every single feeling and the environment and everything. I was brought up in a different way. So that’s quite personal in the story, the whole ‘father who has to learn how to communicate through feelings when he’s not very good at it’.

Mads Mikkelsen and Andrea Heick Gadeberg in a scene from ‘Riders of Justice’.

Would you consider Riders of Justice a Christmas movie? Well, it’s so funny because I didn’t see it at all before one of my editors said. No, I wouldn’t because I didn’t pay attention to it at all. The only reason it ends on Christmas is because that’s the perfect coming together of a family. I needed it in the end, but it could have been Easter, but it wasn’t. Perhaps it is a Christmas movie now because it does have Christmas in it.

What was the first film that made you want to be a filmmaker? There are several, but I think the first time I had was Lawrence of Arabia. I saw that when I was very little, when I perhaps shouldn’t have seen it. But when I was around ten, I got a bootleg copy of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. VCRs were a brand new thing and we got a VCR. I saw that film every day for half a year and I still know every line in it. It’s not getting out of my head. I love that film and I think from there on, I knew that I wanted to do films.

As a screenwriter, do you have any other screenwriters that you respect and admire? I have many. Billy Wilder is one of my favorites. Also, Ingmar Bergman, the Coen Brothers, Robert Towne, but many others also. There are a lot of good screenwriters.

I can see elements of those writers coming through your work, especially the first three. You’re really good at blending elements from different genres and putting strange characters together. Are there any other genres you want to explore that you haven’t yet? Well, it’s funny because every time I open up a new streaming service, I look for sci-fi movies first. I’m part of the Academy and when I get the screeners, I’m always checking for sci-fi. I have a love for sci-fi, but unfortunately I’m born in a country where doing a sci-fi film would just be insane. It’s never been done. If you have a really big budget, you have five to six million here. So it’s just something that won’t happen. But of course, you could get ambitious and write a sci-fi movie and hope you could do it somewhere else. I hope one day [to] do a good sci-fi movie, or at least something within that genre because it is a favorite.

But I also have to say, basically, I love all genres. Perhaps not rom-com that much, but I really like Westerns. I like war movies, revenge movies, dramas. I love to mix genres. Every time I do a movie, I get this from the distributors: “What are we going to call it?” Because it is this mix of genres. Genres, that’s just a sales tool really. That’s to give people, show people, “are we having sushi or are we having Italian?” So people don’t get confused. But I think sometimes I like it when you don’t know what you’re getting. That’s also what I love about the Coen Brothers and other directors that play with genres, is that I never know where it’s going.

‘Riders of Justice’ writer-director Anders Thomas Jensen.

Let’s talk a little about Danish cinema. You have your Lars von Trier, you have your Vinterberg and Susanne Bier. Is there an older Danish film that you would recommend that people should see? I actually thought about it and it’s going to sound arrogant, but I couldn’t find one. Not when I compare to what else is out there of American, French, Italian, British, German, Russian and Asian. No, there isn’t. Of course there’s Carl Dreyer. He’s an icon in early, early cinema. That’s the obvious thing to say, but no. For me, Danish cinema starts in the ’90s. Also, I haven’t watched many Danish movies before that, because there aren’t that many. Some people will hate me for saying this, but that’s how I feel.

Are there any recent Danish films or filmmakers that you can recommend? This year I saw a film called Shorta, which was great. It was made by two directors with no budget, about two cops venturing into this Muslim part of Copenhagen where there’s a riot. That was really a promising debut. Also, I really like the idea they had. They made a lot of great stuff visually and for almost no money.

What are your movie-watching habits? You said when you turn on a streaming service, you look out for sci-fi movies. Do you have any other weird behaviors? It’s crazy, but if I really like a movie, I see it many times. I also see it many times where I do not look at it. I hear it. I will just lie with my back to it and just hear the movie. Actually, if the movie is really good, it also works without the picture.

I think that’s [as] weird as it gets, otherwise I’m pretty much normal. I used to binge-watch. Actually, I tried to get into a Guinness Book of Record with a friend when I was fifteen, where, for five days continuously, we watched movies. I can’t remember if it was 107 movies. We watched movies and we had a video store sponsor us. We were lying in an all-night video store, and just saw films until we collapsed. That’s the craziest thing I’ve done, but we never got into the book because there are people that are better at not sleeping, so somebody else beat the record by far.

Do you have a list, or a record of what you watched? No, but there was a journalist that asked us what number afterwards. He asked me, “What film was the film number? 47, 46?” I remember him being very impressed that I could differentiate them.

It would have made a great Letterboxd list. Preserve it for eternity. The funny thing is years after I would actually see a film, and I would get an hour into it and I would go, “Oh, I’ve seen this one.” It was because when I saw the last 30 films, I was unconscious.

I need to ask about Mads Mikkelsen because he’s massive with our community. You’ve worked with him for quite a long time now, so you’ve got a pretty solid working relationship. Having just watched a number of your films in a short period of time, it was impressive that you found that range in him that maybe other filmmakers haven’t tapped into. Is there a type of role that you want to see him in that he hasn’t had a chance to play yet? Yes. There are many roles, but I don’t know. I could put a job description or a feeling on it, but it’s much more complicated with Mads, I think. We have this common thing that we love exploring people who lie to themselves, whether it’s comedy or drama. People who are not being honest with themselves and people who have this screwed up self-image, which in all the films we’ve done together, his character has. There are many other characters I would love to explore with Mads.

His looks are quite specific in each film. He just looks like a different person each time, which is great. You just want to see how he is going to look in the next one. His wife is like that too. She’s always excited and she was so happy this time because he wasn’t ugly. Normally he doesn’t look very well, like in The Green Butchers. Because he’s so handsome, so I try to do him not so handsome.

Riders is the hunkiest he’s been in your films, I guess. Definitely. The competition isn’t tough, though. You’re up against a guy who masturbates and a guy with a bad receding hairline. But it is by far his most hunky.