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jokerbats-exposed · 6 months

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I was very hesitant and scared to post something like this, however I feel it is the right thing to do. I do not want this person to do this to anymore young women and I believe this needs to be talked about.

In 2019 I met online on the dating app OKcupid someone by the name of "Byron Brutons" his age would have been "28" in that year.

He was constantly changing his location on the app too.

When I met this person I was 19 years old, we became very good friends eventually best friends and I hadn't had the chance to properly meet face to face in real life apart from once due to pandemic restrictions.

I did notice that many times he was reluctant to video call however we were very close and I trusted him to eventually open up and tell him my personal struggles and traumas.

Me, believing the identity he told me decided to work with him on projects for "Jokerbats" (a "band" he is in. Despite from what I can see and from what he told me, nobody being in it anymore except him. And one of the members actually being dead and him pretending to be her. Obviously I have left Jokerbats now and am no longer in the band.) and eventually, much to his enthusiasm after knowing him two years, to move in to his flat and live with him.

I had never been to his area and do not know anyone there, I told him in depth my disabilities so he was well aware before I came and seemed very supportive of me and understanding constantly promising to help me and reassuring me.

We would talk every single day, oftentimes for hours on end on phonecalls. Me sharing my personal stories with him. I did notice that he was very reluctant to share anything personal for a long time, despite me doing the same.

It seemed as though I should trust him but he didn't have to trust me. Nevertheless, he constantly promised to be there for me and seemed completely truthful, I had no doubts at the time.

I moved in after knowing him two years with a lot of enthusiasm and happiness that I was to finally be with the person I loved the most - however even from day one I noticed something was very off.

Eventually as time went on the way he treated me got significantly worse.

He treated me with aggression and verbal abuse, which had me very taken aback as he was wonderfully kind online. At first I thought it may just be an occasional argument but it got very clear that this was one sided, and very blatant manipulation, lying, and an abuse of power dymanics, "hot and cold" red flags talking down to me like I am a child (which I am a literal baby compared to him. He was 45 years old When I was born) etc. Shouting and screaming outside my door and in the middle of the night. Believing the only reason I wanted to move away was because the street we lived on was loud, not due to his abuse.

He would also hug and kiss me without my consent which was extremely scary for me.

Knowing very well after conversations and trust in him that I have difficulties with anxiety and sensory issues due to my diagnosis which I was willing to explain in depth.

There were very minor things that could easily be talked over but instead I was shouted and sworn at and treated in a very ableist and demanding manner, even in public over this.

For example him going down the street, shouting and swearing at me, and me having to walk away from him on my own to get away from it, this happened a good few times.

He did things that would set off my PTSD and not care he was doing so, when I told him he would take great offence and abuse me.

There were MANY cases of this but when I asked him very minor things such as asking him to turn the volume down on very loud speakers that were not in use and buzzing while I was in the living room he would fly into a rage, apologise, then do the same thing the next day.

His response to such minor things was extremely disproportionate.

One of many examples was that I was shouted and screamed at for there being no curtains in the bathroom with a big open unfrosted window and me needing some up for privacy (one of countless things I was not told prior to moving in.) and when he bought curtains, which is a basic privacy need, I was made to feel immensely guilty over it and told over and over again "nobody would be as nice to you as me. Nobody would care about you as much as me."

I believe that even if I did not have any disabilities, which do not need to be explained or justified to anyone, that I would still have been treated wrongly by this person. I believe he was using these an excuse for his abuse.

After a short time of being there, I was told to "fuck off" multiple times threatened to be kicked out and made homeless and told by him I can't live with him.

I also had attacking comments disguised as concerns. For example my weight commented on very early on and told I was overweight with the guise of concern.

Some have suggested that he was using these snide comments to control my appearance to appeal more to him. I agree. He mentioned I "overate" and "put on more weight since I last saw you" he has absolutely no place to comment on my body or appearance, especially after these comments came from only living with him a couple days.

I have issues with trust, he was aware of this. and was repeatedly pushed and pressured into trusting him, made to feel very uncomfortable and upset.

He would quite literally spent all day every day including weekends on his PC, supposedly busy as a freelance graphic designer and would get extremely angry if I was to disturb him to ask about important things such as buying food and practicalities etc. I had no idea how much bills etc cost before I moved in (I have an entire backlog of messages where I asked questions of these) and was almost always persistently ignored and taken advantage of again and again.

We rarely communicated and when we did I was met with a lot of hostility and thus had my trust broken, when I told him about this I was shouted at, told to leave and repeatedly told that he was a "nice person" and he had "done so much for me"

As well as telling me that I was keeping him from his dreams supposedly, from living with him which we agreed to do and that I was "imagining everything". Obviously a lot of delusion was implied and the blame was turned on me, as if I was at fault for moving in and taking up space when he very much wanted me there from our online conversations.

Another example I remember was when he was shouting at me and then apologised and hugged me (without asking). I said I was very worried and scared and didn't know if I could trust him, his response to that was to stop hugging at me and scream at me again and tell me to "Go back to the way I felt before."

I have many screenshots etc saved, but at the moment it is far too upsetting and traumatic to dig everything out to show everyone. And the texts are not as bad as what he said to me in person of course. He's smart, he isn't going to out himself as an abuser and leave evidence that easily.

His flat was completely unlivable with multiple hazards, I was not given a proper view and was not told about the various issues it has and he blamed me moving in for him having less space, as well as getting abusive when I pointed out the many issues that the flat had although I tried to work with him to fix them.

I also come from a very long way away, I was completely new to his city and he knew this.

It was filthy with mould, a musty smell (including smelling strongly of urine) and cobwebs, broken appliances, no space due to his immense and dangerous hoarding etc.

I did not expect things to be perfect, but this was clearly abuse and manipulation but this isn't the first time I've experienced a person like this and I have found the longer you stay the worse it gets. I have been fortunate to have had abuse counselling so I can spot red flags a lot easier than most, of which there were none online, as he maintained a perfect persona.

For over two years of knowing him and speaking to him every day, there were no red flags. Not online or in real life, until I moved in with him.

Eventually friends made me see that things were worse than I thought and called out the police for me. As I was scared with a fear of no privacy and other things, I quite literally barricaded myself into a room.

I would also like to mention that he would hug and kiss me without my consent, he saw that as an okay thing to do despite how I did not want that. And I can guarantee that if I stayed it would have escalated.

He also complained a lot about the foreign students living nearby in a very clearly racist and prejudiced way and laughed at people at a gay bar we walked past and called them Tr*nnies.

I did actually tell him that wasn't okay and he went on a tirade about how he should be allowed to say whatever he wants.

So the "activism" he does is also performative and for appearances, he is extremely prejudiced Irl.

he also supposedly attended a local extinction rebellion meeting which I was actually close to informing them about him to be aware.

If all this was not bad enough, police found out that he was lying about his true identity.

His age according to the landlord was actually 65 almost 66.

Obviously I did notice he did not look his supposed age at all and the pictures used are old/edited, but he told me that this was due to health issues and disabilities from "traumatic incidents that physically aged him" which I believed at the time and did not want to question but which from all he has lied to me (and adamantly promised me he never lied when I asked him seriously more than once.) I am very dubious about this too. I was very shocked when I found his true age, I had a strong feeling he was older but not that old.

His real name is also not Byron it is "Andrew Paul Homer."

He is also known as Sebron Garity/Sebron Brutons.

I was never told the truth for 2 years and it took until police intervention for this to come to light.

I was living with this person, I thought that there was a 9 year age gap however there is in fact actually a FOURTY FIVE year age gap.

To put this into perspective, Andrew Paul Homer is old enough to be my GRANDFATHER.

I WAS TWENTY ONE YEARS OLD. HE WAS SIXTY FIVE YEARS OLD.

I met him when I was a TEENAGER.

A man in his 60s wanted a romantic and sexual relationship with a TEENAGER.

And apparently its not illegal to lie about your age like this?

Even if he had treated me well, I would no longer persue the relationship if I found he was lying about his age and identity.

While I was (slightly) over 18, this is without a doubt predatory and grooming. It goes without saying.

He typed and acted like a 30 year old, knowing the slang/interests etc. It was VERY believable which leads me to believe he's done this to other women in the past and he also disguised himself to look younger too.

There was a very strong bond and trust, the strongest I have had with a non-family member. And was broken in a very scary way.

I genuinely believe this person is seeking young women who struggle with issues to manipulate. (as he told me he was also supposedly talking to a girl on anti depressants. And spoke to students at the local uni. And most likely there are probably others.)

What I also found extremely disturbing was that he only told me recently a band member from Jokerbats who I thought was alive for years, actually apparently died years ago and he is pretending to be this person, posting as her through her page. (Trixania Brutons. Who's real name was Cordelia Gaitens)

now from what he has done to me this could have disturbing implications.

This person is using his past trauma as an excuse to lie about his identity, and become abusive.

However, as someone who has suffered past trauma I have never done this and trauma is never an excuse to do this. Too many people like me are taken advantage of and it needs to end. I do not mind being public about this if I can raise awareness.

If it was not for my family and friends assuring me this was worse that I thought, I would still be there and I know things would have gotten worse. I spent time crying and in a bad mental state because of the way I was treated from his manipulating, not because I am "naturally like this." and "always negative" like he would tell me. My depression - WHICH WAS IMPROVING BEFORE I MOVED IN DUE TO HIS FALSE PROMISES OF A BETTER LIFE AND MAKING MUSIC ETC NONE OF WHICH CAME INTO FRUITION - was made worse by living with him.

This person knows about autism and yet threatened to kick me out over my sensory issues and not fully trusting him and what that comes with my conditions as he said "you are too ill to live with."

This is incredibly demeaning, imagine the same being told to someone with a physical illness, my mental health would not have declined as much if I had been treated properly and not manipulated and lied to. (my physical health also declined too. I suffer from CPTSD/Chronic fatigue syndrome/ME which was worsened by this. I had family members comment that my body was tense, I had swollen Lymph Nodes and aches/pain/shaking. my appearance got worse with my acne getting a lot worse while I lived with him etc. I also noticed large dark circles and my fatigue getting worse, muscle pain and a very physically weak feeling from the worry. And more. So there were many physical signs of stress) Living in a horrific environment that he had glossed over in the pics/vids he showed me to make it look nicer. He deliberately moved out his clutter and mess in the video he made of his flat showing me before I moved in, which was further complicated by the pandemic.

He was also wanting to register as my disability carer so he could make money from me.

I also see an intense irony in this, as I told him well in advance about my hardships yet I had no idea until I moved in with him that he had bad physical health issues. From what I saw these were severe, he was very frail and when we went out he needed a stick and would constantly walk slow, fall over on the street and had back problems etc.

He thought it was okay to undermine and abuse me for my mental health telling me I was "too ill to live with" but thought it was perfectly okay to never disclose his physical illnesses and expect me to accommodate that I suddenly found out about and wasn't prepared for, while not doing the same for me.

It seems almost he thought I would have no autonomy and couldn't speak for myself which is probably what he wanted from me without a doubt.

A few years ago I would have taken his abuse as gospel, however now I know I am capable and not a burden. He does not see fault in himself and used my health against me, which is of course gaslighting.

The police have told me if he does anything again he will be arrested and I have moved.

I do not have anything to gain myself from going public about this, but I want to warn other young women, please be VERY VERY aware of this person and people like him. He will appear extremely nice and caring even knowing him for years, promising you the world, but in real life, he is anything but.

Even if this friendship had been all in real life, the same would have happened and it has in my past experiences, unfortunately it is easier to hide your true self online.

I 100% believe if I had met him in real life he would have done the same as online and hid his true self until I moved in with him then started attacking me. So I firmly believe that the circumstances it made no difference.

Even for two whole years, which I have no idea why he didn't realise the truth would come out eventually.

After the police exposure, he sent very manipulative apologising texts. Saying he would have told me the truth but if he did he wouldn't think he would be friends (I wonder why?...)

He would say sorry in one text then in the next ask me for things back he had given me as gifts, which just further shows his ingenuity.

I have kept every text from these 2 years just in case it's needed.

He also went extremely far weaving his fake story, it was EXTREMELY believable and that paired with his charm obviously tricked me for over two years. He was quite happy to lie non-stop about pretty much everything, and look me in the eye with no guilt. I have no idea how he can even have a conscience.

If I expressed doubt and worry I was screamed at, sworn at and told "if you can't trust me then leave."

I am not a naive or gullible person, my disability does not make me this way. this was very well planned out and he pulled the wool over the eyes of relatives who I know are very intelligent as well as professionals. I lived in a supported accommodation beforehand and he managed to manipulate all the trained professionals who worked there into believing him and coming over to his side. I can't stress enough how incredibly dangerous this person is. He even managed to manipulate the police.

I was to plan a meeting for him to eventually meet my family, but he said he couldn't go because he was too busy, now I realise that he wouldn't want to see them in fear of being exposed.

I completely believe he is deliberately seeking young women who he sees as "naive and gullible" such as the young girl on antidepressants as these types of women are more easy to manipulate.

I find it absolutely sick he knew I had Post Traumatic stress disorder, and used that to his advantage to deliberately trigger me, hurt me, lie to me and gaslight me.

This person is absolutely vile and I honestly think he should not be allowed in society and justice should be served, which it sadly has not.

But when I stood my ground and refused to be pushed around, that's when he became aggressive.

There were slip ups of course, for example he told me about the old band he was in "Trashcan Soul and the cripples of rage." and when I looked them up they had released an album in the 80s. Which makes no sense as he would have been born after this era.

He had blamed the publisher and told me they made a mistake and it was actually published in 2009.

He always would run with this story that he was 30, he talked about video games from the 90s and pretended that he played them as a kid, I'm assuming to try and be more relatable to me which is very creepy. He is also very immature for his age. I cannot for the life of me figure out his thought processes, he very clearly needs mental help and if I'm being honest, jail time for what he has done.

What I am relaying in my post is just the things I know, I am VERY sure there is a lot he has done that has been hidden.

I noticed various inconsistencies in his stories. Dates not lining up etc. And when I told him this he got angry at me and said things such as "everyone makes mistakes" I noticed that when my trust started to wane I felt scared around him, and pointed that out, that is when the abuse worsened. As he must have known I was on to him.

He had my friends and family charmed and tricked too. Including mental health professionals (It is actually written in my notes to talk to him if I am feeling depressed. Because, obviously the NHS mental health team being who they are they have to relay their responsibility on to someone else without doing any background checks, but that's another issue.)

He also did things such as delay his covid vaccine (as its done in age ranges and at that time the around 30s were being done) to further push the lie that he was 30. Also he made a huge deal about how getting the vaccine was so important, which is obviously not true if he is willing to delay it with his delusion of being 35 years younger than he actually is.

He has lied in many places, if you look him up currently he is saying he is this 30 on all profiles.

This has not only caused me so much pain knowing the horrible truth about someone I was EXTREMELY close to after two years of non-stop lies, manipulation and deceit.

But it has also caused a huge loss in money for me. Hundreds of pounds I have wasted moving in with him, travelling etc that I will never get back. I wasted a huge chunk of my life on getting moving sorted out - which I have had to move twice in one year and several times after due to him.

Huge amounts of stress for my family and friends worrying about my wellfare and I am now stuck in a place where I know nobody other than him on my own.

I reached out to places such as the police, women's charities -(such as women's aid, UAVA etc) and a religious member of my family even tried getting the church to help me. NONE of them would help. All of them said it wasn't severe enough or out of their hands just because my life wasn't at risk which I think is absolutely deplorable.

How bad does a person have to be? So that I am at the end of my tether, feeling suicidal and yet that isn't "bad enough??"

I have had more abusive relationships in the past, I have had an ex abuse me until I felt broken and nobody cared or took action until he got a hold of a gun and made a threat at after I left him and then finally the police actually cared and he stopped stalking me. (New college Durham, for those curious.)

At what point is the line drawn, and how many more times does this have to happen for people to take notice and start taking things seriously?

The trauma from this almost caused me to drop out of university and give up on life, I fell into a very deep depression and almost took my own life because of what Andrew did to me. Words cannot express the extent of the pain and heartbreak this has caused and the damage he has done to my life.

I have spent my days in paranoia, panic attacks, loneliness, tears, severe depression and thoughts of suicide and self harm. And much more.

I do not want to go public about this, but this has caused me severe trauma that I am still suffering from after the police Intervention of 2021. Nobody has taken me seriously and I am now stuck with extreme trust issues for the rest of my life due to this. So if posting publicly about this exposes him, then so be it. Because nobody has helped me or offered any support. No agencies, police, women's safety services etc. I am appalled at how there has been no help for this or the prior abuse I have suffered and I have been expected to deal with it alone.

I am tired of keeping quiet about this and I believe the right thing to do is to come forward about such terrifying and damaging abuse.

I still blame myself for trusting him, but he was such a good liar and manipulator he has me believing everything was my fault. Having a very high opinion of himself and his work, others have said its extreme narcissism and I must agree. He would constantly refer to himself as a "defender of the innocent" and "ahead of our time." in his rediculously long monologues about himself. He is delusional and believes he is a famous public figure.

Which if we were to talk, no matter what we were talking about, he always had to steer the conversation over to how his music was to change the world.

He truly did believe his delusions wholeheartedly. And initially I just thought it was ambition until I realised how self centered and cruel he really was.

He hated spending any money, according to him he had "plenty of money" yet would willfully live in what I can only describe as squalor to save money for himself and his music career.

He took extreme cost cutting measures that I would expect from someone well below the poverty line.

I would never judge anyone for having no money, but I am judging him for supposedly having enough money, telling me this, and also subjecting me to these extreme cost cutting measures so I could not live comfortably or safely.

When I moved in he didn't even have a working oven and washing machine to save money, and non of the lights worked so he just used lamps which most of the time it was too dark to see, which of course if I pointed out I was screamed at.

And countless other things I could divulge but are not the focus of this post.

This is very scary stuff and is painful and traumatic to write about, and I completely believe that if I had stayed in that environment the abuse would have worsened as he is very clearly extremely unstable but I believe that we need to speak up about this, and keep doing so, to alert others.

I just truly hope nobody ever has to cross paths with this person or anyone like this and go through what I did ever again. Its time to draw the line under abuse, and I don't mind sharing my story if it will help expose the truth.

I will not remove this, I have backups and may post in other places if required.

After I left and moved away he texted me with absolutely no remorse whatsoever, he completely believed that he did nothing wrong repeated his mantra of being a "good person" and said all he wanted to do was to help me make music and have a music career, which is clearly untrue.

In the end he actually admitted himself that he was hiding behind this personna. Underneath he is a rotten, cruel liar.

I am sure that fans of Jokerbats will be upset to hear this, believe me I understand the feeling of anger at knowing the truth more than anyone.

But this is the reality of this person, I have lived with him and gotten very close to him and he is not who he says he is. Everything about the band and his persona is a lie.

This is a highly dangerous and manipulative person playing the victim card that is very not living in the real world and living in a delusional fantasy.