#ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED TUMBLR

[moltengoldveins]

hm yes emduo and bedrock bros and the eggs in Space. Phil is one of the last surviving members of a fragile but technically immortal species of elytrians that is now only whispered about in fairy tales. He’s a private investigator and enforcer (space pirate and muscle) for his beloved wife’s galaxy-wide uhhh….. Independent illegal group of people dedicated to protecting order and monitoring corruption? Gang of space pirates who steal from rich people? League of assassins but with morals? Unclear what the Syndicate Is Exactly but it sure do Be. He’s the pilot for the SBI Boreas, a light cruiser with a frankly Absurd munitions outfit. (Tubbo’s his mechanic) 

Techno is a member of the only recognized sentient deathworlder species, an odd mix of orc, elf, and pig features, and is by all accounts a living legend, or a living nightmare. He’s solidly twice the size of most other species, capable of surviving injuries what most would deem a death sentence, and a highly trained warrior to boot. Now, by all human accounts the texts of his people are pretty self-explanatory, (the Art of War is 89% Common Sense by volume) but in a galaxy of peaceful races on peaceful planets, it’s complex and brutal enough to be nigh-incomprehensible. He’s on a Lot of watchlists, but he’s also the like… platonic third partner in Phil and Madam Kristin, The Lady Of Death TM’s marriage??? So not a lot can be Done about him. 

Tommy is a younger avian teen (distant relation to the elytrians, definitely Not Immortal) who Techno found breaking into the Boreas and decided to keep (Phil took one look and his Dad Instincts kicked in) and his life is going swimmingly until he gets Yoinked for leverage against his dads and mum. The organization who gets him runs a blood sport colosseum, and while in transit his cage was stuck next to this weird hairless thing?? Chained with like Heavy Duty restraints. Tommy doesn’t have a ton of time to bond with this Strange Thing before the hostage negotiations happen, but they do manage to exchange names and Tommy decides with his classic impulsive passion that This Thing And He Are Brothers For Life Now. then the negotiations immediately go south, there’s a bit of a standoff, and Techno ends up trading himself for Tommy, which is what the organization wanted in the first place. They run a Reeeeally expensive exotic show for super Rich Jerks in an undisclosed location and Techno is their latest attraction. They’re also painfully cocky, and will be dying with extreme prejudice the moment Mumza gets her claws in them. 

So Techno gets Got and shoved in a high-security cell once they reach the colosseum, along with, surprise! This strange hairless creature with four limbs. It’s Chayanne, who is A Very Human Teenager who Did Not Want To Be Abducted By Aliens, Thank You. They’re both deathworlders, which Techno Does Not Realize until they get assigned to the same team a few weeks into the battles and watches Chay rip a bug man’s limbs off (Chay is Not having a good day. His dad (Missa) taught him self defense and was a martial artist, a butcher, and a rather morbid man, so some Relevant Knowledge and some general chillness around death is to be expected, but Not a chillness around KILLING PEOPLE FOR SPORT) Techno thinks this must be a fully grown adult whatever-it-is all the way until Chay breaks down crying and sounds Just Like a shoat (baby pig) and Techno feels the Dad Instinct rising again. 

Meanwhile, Halfway Across The Galaxy: the government has been developing space flight, but are really only at the borders of our solar system when they catch some aliens in the act of Yoinking another kid, this time from an orphanage (Tallula) they don’t manage to save her, but Holy Crap ALIENS???? Missa, who saw a bit of his son’s abduction but not enough to know exactly what happened, sees the news broadcast, puts two and two together and gets plot advancement. He starts pulling strings, asking about old connections in the space force (Cosmonaut Fit Emsi, godfather to Chayanne and Missa’s college best friend, may or may not be involved in the Turning Of Blind Eyes) and manages to get access to a hanger bay with a captured alien ship in it a few months after the incident in what might be the coolest heist sequence ever not-actually-written. (It’s very cool in my head, think Oceans 11 but the majority of the qsmp cast, trust me I swear.) He launches himself right into space and proceeds to systematically work his way through spaceport after waystation after colony planet in search of The Aliens Who Steal Human Kids (Specifically My Son) 

Techno is at this point playing the long game. He knows Kristin and Phil aren’t about to leave him hanging, and that they have enough firepower to burn this place to the ground, but he’s not sure when that’s gonna happen or how he’s gonna get Chay out. Meanwhile, Chay has No Idea what this strange Exceedingly Chill Pig Man has going on, but as far as he’s concerned, this is his life now. Forever. And making allies is important. They start trading languages and Techno starts teaching Chay katas (modified for the drastically different joint structure) in their free “big open space enrichment time.” (Side note: what aliens consider almost horrific cruel and unusual punishment is at worst severely unpleasant for humans. They just can’t take psychologically what humans can, so they kinda Have to treat their slaves better than we would. Doesn’t mean it’s good treatment, but it does mean Chay and Techno are both doing significantly better than they could be.)

Finally, Phil and Kristen rock up to the party incognito, dressed to the nines and attending a Big Event To Show Off Our New Deathworlders. They see Techno in the ring and have to Play It Cool, but he seems to be doing ok actually, so that’s good. Eventually the Head Honcho Man gets into a discussion with Phil right by the viewing window, so Phil has to pretend he’s fine when he sees a door open in the arena and A @:&;!ING HUMAN STEP OUT AND SQUARE OFF WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. (Shockingly, being immortal tends to inform you of such things like Secret Deathworlds and their Scary Inhabitants) Kristin is of course Immediately On The Move, but it turns out to be not necessary: Chay just kinda strolls up to Techno and gives him a side hug (bLEASE, you want me to fight my Roommate? Get out) and while Phil is laughing to himself, the Head Honcho gets maaaaad. He pulls it around though, announcing that he “already knew the two monsters had bonded the way only such vicious creatures could, and will be giving them a challenge only they could hope to face!!” And releases, like, four of the heccin Dune sand worms into the arena. Techno and Chay proceed to fight like demons while Phil and his squad take out the party and Kristen and her squad sweep the lower levels of the colosseum in an effort to keep More Worms out of the arena. Slavers die horribly. The end. 

Meanwhile, halfway across the galaxy: Missa returns!! Now with Even More Rage! His ship has broken down and because he ain’t got no Space Green Card, he’s got to get it repaired at a place that’ll take anyone. Enter Tubbo Underscore, Syndicate Member and Tinkerer Extraordinaire. Tubbo takes one look at this guy and goes “yeah that’s not a normal guy there’s something Wrong here” and through a series of pointed questions (and aggressive preening by Benson, a rather horrifying eldritch duck-dog thing the size of a small horse) Missa eventually explains why he’s in space. Tubbo, having just recently repaired Philza H Minecraft’s ship on its way to wipe out a gladiator ring, puts two and two together to make more plot, explains his Theory, and decides to accompany Missa, getting them into the next Syndicate raid on this organization. They, along with an undercover agent by the code name of Boo (It’s a word in Old Enderian that means ‘Eldritch’ or ‘Unknowable.’ Missa has to choke to keep from laughing) storm a freighter and rescue a bunch of valuable slaves and also!! Sunny and Tallulah! They have different first languages, Sunny was treated Significantly Cushier by the slavers than Lulah bc she was younger and viewed a bit more like a pet than a fighter, and they haven’t really spoken to one another before the rescue, so their rough start happens at this point. Cue Missa and Tubbo # Struggling to keep these two feral children from each others throats while they keep searching (‘Chay was literally never this bloodthirsty, the heck???’ -Missa, holding two backpack leashes apart while the girls are trying to strangle each other) 

Meanwhile on the Boreas: CHAY AND TOMMY REUNION POG???? Techno formally adopts Chay according to his culture (think Mandalorian, but to the left) and Chay has enough language to understand, but not enough to inquire about, yknow, whether Going Back To Earth is an option. As far as the Boreas crew know, it isn’t: Earth is a no-fly zone and Chay’s been out here for nearly a year and a half. They have no idea how they’d begin to get him home. 

Then finally, on a Syndicate-owned spaceport in the middle of nowhere, Missa finds the Boreas and sees his kid across a crowded bazaar. They hug, it’s super dramatic, very tearful, (Phil and Kristen are already planning his room on the ship: if they’re gonna coparent, they’re gonna do it Right) and after a bit of waffling, both Chay and Missa decide it’s for the best if they spend some time in space before heading back to earth, what with the whole “definitely stole a star fighter and wanted by the government, the entire world knows about aliens now” bit. There is fluff. There is cultural sharing. There is hair braiding. It’s amazing. 

Then comes my literal favorite space au trope Ever: a few days into the new and improved Boreas gang’s voyage, their ship is boarded by (shock, horror) a group of Human Pirates and the crew is Immediately captured. Turns out: it’s kinda hard to keep the existence of an entire galactic community from Everyone on Earth, and these are guys who, similar to Missa, yoinked a spaceship from their military and went rogue. (I’m putting Quackity here, cause I love charismatic villain Quackity and I think it works) they pirates are very VERY “humans are gonna expand to cover the universe” “might makes right” “come, join us, and together we can rule the galaxy” about it when they realiz Missa and Chay are aboard, and the Boreas crew honestly expects Missa and Chay to join them. They’re human! They speak the same language! They value the same things! Obviously they’re gonna take that way out, we wouldn’t even blame them! (Techno feels pretty betrayed but Phil/Kristen/Tommy just look resigned) Missa and Chay play along, pretend to hate their ‘alien captors,’ and arm themselves “to help them secure the ship.”

What follows is a rather emotionally charged but Very Very Cool sequence in which Missa and Chayanne use the skills they gained in their unfortunate struggles across the galaxy to Clean House, clearing their home the ship room by room until they’ve got a pile of bloodied and unconscious or dead humans and a very very shocked new family. There might be a bit more plot after this as the family settles, perhaps a sequel made of short stories, but this is generally the end.

The epilogue is five years later, when Fit Emsi, head of the new Intergalactic Human Intergalactic Relations Organization and Expansion Section (HIROES) has his monthly checkup call with Missa and Chay, who’re having a blast with Techno and Phil and Tommy traveling the universe. Fit calls them in to consult in cultural stuff during the negotiations with, yknow, the Actual Galactic Government, the one that views the Syndicate as a crime organization, but it’s pretty well known at this point that Mumza is In Charge Of Things on the Downlow, and Fit’s still Chay’s godfather for heavens sake: there’s simply nothing the government can Do about it. Tubbo has adopted Sunny and Chay took one look at Talulah and decided “Thats My Little Sister.” Phil apparently has had a crisis recently related to some kind of ancient evil ex long thought dead, but is on the road to recovery. Everyone lives happily ever after, the end. 

#molten rambles #mcyt #dsmp #qsmp #fanfic #fanfiction prompt #au concept #qsmp chayanne #qsmp philza #qsmp technoblade #technoblade #philza #emduo #emerald duo #bedrock bros #ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED TUMBLR #DO YOU NOT SEE MY VISION #IS IT NOT GLORIOUS

[magnusbae]

To illustrate this post by @mayahawkse I would like to visualize to you the difference:

A post in 2023:

A post in 2014:

A zoom out of the same post:

This is what a community looks like.

See how in 2023 almost all of the reblogs come from the OP, from their few hours/days in the tag search. Meanwhile in 2014 the % of reblogs from OP is insignificant, because most of the reblogs come from the reblogs within the fandom, within the micro-communities formed there. You didn't need to rely on tags, or search, or being featured. Because the community took care of you, made sure to pass the work between themselves and onto their blog and exposed their followers to it. It kept works alive for years.

It's not JUST the reblog/like ratio that causing this issue, it's the type of interaction people have. They're content with scrolling and liking the search engine, instead of actually having a reblogging relationship with other blogs in their community.

Anyways, if you want to see more content you like, the only true way to make it happen is to reblog it. Likes do not forward content in no way but making OP feel nice. Reblogs on the other hand make content eternal. They make it relevant, they make it exist outside of a fickle tumblr search that hardly works on the best of days.

If you want more of something, reblog it.

#i said i wont ever rant about this bc it's unseemly but HONESTLY. #you simply cannot complain about not having enough of A or B or C and then never reblog / interact with the content you love. #If you LOVE something you cannot just leave a like and silently wait for more to happen #I know countless of content creators that simply stopped doing art/writing fic/making edits #You need to understand that fandom content is made FOR the fandom FOR the engagement FOR the entertainment and fun it makes. #If a content creator does not have fun IN the fandom-- why would they spend the scares free time they have on making this content? #And we're not talking about things that you don't like-- no one expects you to reblog things you don't like. #However I think it's safe to say that when a post has more than 5k it's not some random shitpost with no value. #tumblr issues #tumblr #content creators #buns.txt #something something please don't starve your local clowns

[tangledinink]

he doesn't like the jutu.

a vote for swanatello is a vote to remove swannie from the jutu.

#is this what you people want-- you want jorts-- #are you happy now???? does this not entertain you--? #look at what youve done to him-- #the way i wheezed at the fucking jean tutu jesus fucking christ #vote for swannie and ill let him burn the jutu #rottmnt #tumblr polls #donniesona #fandom #fandom polls #tmnt #tmnt au competition

[lvcidreamss]

saga wears vests n suits. its canon bc i said so. dont @ me

#art #artist #illustrators on tumblr #alan wake #alan wake 2 #saga anderson #WOMEN IN VESTS >>>>> #WOMEN IN SUITS >>>>> #did i ever mention im obsessed with saga? #no? #well now you know #my art #remedy entertainment #remedyverse #remedy games

[destinationtoast]

#fanfic #beta reading #polls #yes i am using polls to procrastinate on my wip #which is nearing completion and could use a beta reader and/or britpicker #but i'd like to post it before the start of my work trip on Monday #(and also before it gets jossed) #so I'm likely to skip it #but anyway i think i hold myself to higher standards here than others #whether or not something is beta read doesn't affect whether i read #generally #lest you worry btw #i don't take tumblr polls as strong evidence of anything #but they're entertaining and sometimes interesting #op

[nefarious-616-necromancer]

#joker #the joker #heath ledger #the dark knight #dc comics #dc universe #dc studios #dc entertainment #dc gifs #dc gif #gif #joker gif #tumblr milestone #thank you

[crispycreambacon]

I think they had this conversation at least once. I think.

#I drew this last week let's go #(If I get the topic right I will explode delightfully and also be very concerned) #do not tag as ship #if you do that i will fucking end you #anyways would not be surprised if someone has done this with them before #obi the cat is there just because i wanted to draw him #lightly incomprehensible shitposting #top 5 beatdown #ryan bergara #shane madej #watcher entertainment #watcher weekly #we are watcher #watcher fanart #art #artists on tumblr #digital art #fanart #chris p fried art #shitpost #chris p fried doo doo

[macncheems]

hes my enemy now. im also converting to be a boogara. this is was you get for having a bad list.

#we are watcher #watcher entertainment #ryan bergara #shane madej #tumblr top 5 #im a boogara now #wrong wrong wrong and wrong #horrible list shane i mean come on #what were you thinking

[florallychaotic]

I do enjoy how most of Remedy's advertising is normal and then every once in a while you get stuff like this

#(if you saw this twice no you didnt tumblr's media uploader sucks) #alan wake #alan wake 2 #remedy entertainment

[crypticthumbs]

ghouls and ghosts, and pigeons that go "woo" in the night

#click for sharpness please and thank you #ghost files #ryan bergara #shane madej #watcher #watcher entertainment #artists on tumblr #art #fanart #ive seen ppl say it looked like a cat on the recording but im behind team raccoon #shane my man i can never get ur face just right whats up w that #my thanks to tumblr for the blurry compression as always #crypticthumbs #update: edited s' face!

[omaano]

"I've grown these for you."

My first entry for the @rexobibingo - because what is a Gardener/Gardening about if not making leafy things grow out of love? (You can, of course, grow your leafy things out of spite too, I guess, that's always a very fair motivation if you ask me)

Keeping to good old habits from my previous bingo experience, please allow me to wholeheartedly and very passionately recommend @dharmaavocado's fic that has been on my mind throughout the whole time while I was working on this drawing We Who Love Our Hands in Dirt which was likely the first fic that has sold me on this ship, and Hanahaki as allergies will never stop being fascinating to me as a concept *w*

#rexobi #obirex #rexobi bingo #rex x obi wan #my art #captain rex #obi wan kenobi #star wars fanart #tcw fanart #artists on tumblr #digital art #fanart #I haven't drawn flowers like this in a bit I was starting to feel bad about it #please make sure to check out dharma's fic if you haven't yet once AO3 is back in business again #Thank you everyone in the discord server for helping me with the colour picking! #if only my rl allergies could be cured by the simple method of a bit of introspection and *shudders* admittance of feelings #fuck allergy season it is only entertaining when it's happening in space #look at me showing up with personal art that isn't the Hades AU XD

[pegsmothman]

#anyone done this yet #*sighs* #watcher #fuck this #we were all rooting for you #shane madej #ryan bergara #steven lim #destiel meme #youtube #tumblr news #watcher entertainment #tumblr meme

[boxcarxo]

Something that's been bothering me about the Watcher thing, is the accusation that "we expect them to create content for free."

No we don't. We never did. They've never done that-- they've always gotten paid for their work.

Ads, tours, patreon, merch, and other avenues were available that they chose not to take.

They were always getting compensated for their work, the issue is that they decided that they wanted to make money exclusively off us. They didn't just want to get compensated, they needed it to be our money.

And frankly the biggest issue here is how insulting & condescending their approach to this was.

AND AND AND now that we've moved past the initial "are you fucking serious" phase, we've now started delving into things we don't want our money going to anyway. It's not just about gold ice cream, it's about homophobia. It's not about hiring too many employees, its about being dismissed and insulted by the staff/their friends/their family because we have the audacity to simultaneously be poor and have opinions.

This isn't just about the streaming service being an absolutely clown shoes decision, it's about how deeply they've dehumanized their entire fanbase (including those who can afford it and don't mind)

#watcher #watcher entertainment #ghoul boys #i'm back on tumblr again #this pissed me off THAT much #also the fandom is comparing notes now #did you really think we wouldnt talk about steven's homophobia #your fandom is a bunch of broke chronically online gays #how did you think this would go

[jacksprostate]

witness your own delusions of grandeur.

art collab with @narutodivorcearcreal, who did the amazing drawing; I colored :)

#fight club #fight club art #fight club fanart #narrator fight club #tyler durden #pulling out all the tags for this..... #tumblr kind of ate the quality a little which i'm sad about but what can you do #an absolutely super fun collab.... thank you my good friend narutodivorce for entertaining my tendency to take a very long time to color !! #if it is unclear #it is a merging of his view of reality and the actual reality #hence. his own delusions of grandeur #he is imagining himself in the audience and Tyler in the place his body actually is #also. highly recommended to turn up your brightness if youre on your phone #protip. that makes most art you see better lol

[ariadne-mouse]

#im clawing my way out of a bad migraine and tumblr entertainment can save me #(don't @ me about looking at screens this is on the other side of the worst which was the previous 5 hrs) #(if I said something to you with typos in it this is why lol) #ludinus da'leth #critical role #polls #op

[aceforwhatevenisthis]

so the tunguska event

#ace speaks #watcher #watcher entertainment #we are watcher #mystery files #ryan bergara #shitpost #and with that i log off tumblr for the night #goodnight folks hope you enjoy this meme