#AND NOW I AM 22 AND YOU STILL COME TO ME AS A LONG-LOST FRIEND WITH WHOM I ONCE PICKED APPLES IN PAPA'S ORCHARD | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mariclerc · 1 month

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Predestined | cl16

Summary: Where you have had mixed feelings for years with your brother's best friend... And finally those feelings see the light.

Warning: none, just fluff.

a/n: let me know if u want a part 2 of this!!

Part 2

You were always surrounded by go-karts, the smell of gasoline and mud, like a good little sister, you accompanied your older brother to his karting races with his best friend. Basically your childhood and part of your teenage years were spent in that, in being the number one fan of those two boys... Your big brother and the boy who always stole your breath.

Currently, you are lost in thought when you are interrupted by a knock on the front door.

“I'm coming!” You say out loud as you leave the living room towards the door, opening it you find your brother's best friend, Charles, or better known as the boy who makes you sigh, in your eyes he always looks so cute. “Oh, hi char! Ehm... Luca is not home... But come in!” you say a little enthusiastically.

He smiled as he walked into the house. “But it's nice to see you little butterfly!” He said as he approached to give you a small kiss on the forehead, something they have done since you were little.

You always found him cute and adorable, even when he and your brother came home covered in mud and angry for losing a race, or when your mother scolded them for breaking a vase while you secretly passed him some chocolate cookies. They are 22 and you are 21 years old, but despite everything, they both always protected you back in the day, not now since you are older, but the affection is the same, especially between you and Charles. Since he always gave you cute nicknames and treated you like a princess, something that didn't bother you when you were little, but now those feelings have changed a little.

“What brings you here Charlie?” you ask timidly.

“Nothing in particular really, just... I wanted to spend time with you, it's been a long time since we've caught up.” He smiled and you felt your cheeks blush a little.

You both went to the couch and decide to watch a rom-com, the laughter and the knowing and slightly flirtatious glances did not take long to wait. You looked like some teenagers with their first love, something you were not lucky enough to have.

“God, how beautiful... How I would have liked to experience something like that.” You say in a murmur, referring to the couple in the movie, he, curious, turns his face towards you to look at your face.

“What do you mean, pretty?” He ask gently.

You take a deep breath. “Well... I've never had a boyfriend.” you pause briefly. “And I know you'll laugh and say it's not true and blah blah blah but...” You say but he shuts you up by grabbing your face gently.

“Who said I'm going to laugh at you? But I find it curious that a girl as pretty as you has never had a boyfriend... Not even something casual?” He asks gently, you denied. “How sad honey, maybe you were looking in the wrong places.”

“It's not just that, it's that... I don't know, no one showed interest in me before and my shyness doesn't help much to be honest.” You sigh.

Right now you are a whirlwind of feelings towards him that are quite strong and strange, but somehow it felt good.

“Maybe there is someone interested in you... For a long time if I'm honest.” He says in a whisper.

You look at him. “Who is it Charles?”

“If I told you that I am that person, would you still see me the same way?” He asks you subtly and you blush.

The times you imagined confessing your feelings towards him were countless, but it never crossed your mind that he would be the one confessing his feelings to you... Maybe it's not the most romantic way of all, but at least it's something.

“Tell me this isn't a joke Charlie.”

He laughed a little. “How could this be a joke, honey? You always caught my attention, you seemed like the cutest pretty girl in the whole city, even when you had your little pigtails and you followed your brother and I through the garden on summer days.” He whispered again. “You were always that impossible crush for me... Maybe now it's not so impossible after all.”

You blushed a lot. “Oh god, Charles... I liked you too, for a long time... But I never knew how to let you know...” You say in a whisper.

His smile widened and with one of his hands he caressed your cheeks in an adorable way that made your heart race. “Oh my shy little princess... Could I give you a kiss?” he asked and you nod slowly.

He shortened the distance between you to join your lips, it was a mix between a soft, shy and slow kiss but with it has a lot of meaning. You always imagined what it would be like to kiss him, if his lips felt warm on yours, and none of that is out of reality because it feels just like you imagined it repeatedly for a long time. In a moment he instinctively places you on his lap, everything feels so new and comfortable at the same time it's like it was meant to be. He fell for you even more when he felt you smile halfway through the kiss, something that drove him crazy in a good way.

All your parents' jokes saying that you were going to end up married to Charles and to which both of you always made disgusted faces finally made sense.

You separate from the kiss breathlessly, with a giddy smile on your face. “Oh my... That was incredible Charles.” You say in a whisper.

“It was better than I had imagined in my dreams.”

You both let out a small giggle and you caressed his face, the untidy trail of beard was present on it, his pink and fleshy lips parted and swollen, his greenish eyes who always looked at you as if you were a goddess and now they do it even more. All those "little" details are what made you fall in love with him and you wouldn't change a single thing about it.

Obviously you were inside your little bubble that you didn't hear the door opened.

“Well, well, well... What do we have here?” You hear your brother's mocking voice and the two of you separate and hurriedly get up from the couch.

You were blushing with shame. “Luca... I... Um... I...” No coherent sentence was coming out of your mouth since you were babbling, you hid behind Charles.

“I suppose you have a better explanation than my sister's, don't you Leclerc?” He asked ironically.

He breathed. “Yes, in fact yes... I don't know if it is or was something noticeable for you for years but I like y/n and, surprisingly, she likes me too.” he sigh. “And well, we decided to take that leap of faith, isn't it petit coeur?” He says and you nod sheepishly behind him. (little heart).

A knowing look and a sly smile landed on Luca's face. “It's amazing how clueless you guys are! I mean, it was very obvious that you both liked each other, you just needed to know it yourselves too.” He said and giggled, you exhaled calmly.

“So you're not angry? I thought you would be!” you asked softly.

He denied as he looked at both of you. “Not at all! Actually, I am very happy for you!” He approached you two. “I'll just tell you something... You hurt my little sister and I swear I will never speak to you again in my life, is that clear Charles?” He said addressing Charles and the aforementioned nodded.

“I would never hurt her... She is important to both you and me, there is no joke in doing that.” He said firmly.

Luca smiled. “Well lovebirds, I better give you guys some privacy.” he said and hugged both of you. “I don't want nephews yet, okay?” He said as he winked and walked up the stairs.

You blushed and Charles was also the same as you, you were smiling and giddy. “Well, I didn't imagine this would be the way he would know about all this.”

He caressed your face gently. “I didn't imagine it either, but I couldn't prefer it any other way.” he whispered close to your lips.

He shortened the distance between his lips again to kiss you a little more deeply, it was something you had longed for for a long time, and that now it was easy for you to access anytime you both needed. It felt so good the way he held you in his arms, how your bodies fit together, it was something predestined to happen, and that idea didn't bother you at all.

“Oh mia principessa... Would you like to go on a date with me?” He asked shyly while blushing. “I wouldn't want to be kissing you with your brother around... It scares me babe.”

You nod as you let out a small giggle. “Yep! Of course I would like a date with you Charlie! Although we can always get our way.” you whisper and laugh, giving a little hint that you two could spend time in your room.

“I like how you think cutie pie.” he gives you a little kiss on the tip of your nose and you giggle. “How about I pick you up tomorrow at 6pm or 7pm? We can go for an ice cream, from the ice cream parlor with the pastel colors wall that you like so much... Or maybe go to eat at the Italian restaurant and then go for an ice cream? How you prefer honey, you decide.”

Seeing him so nervous and shy about taking you on a date was something incredible to see, you never thought that he would be the type of guy who gets nervous about taking a girl on a date... Maybe because you are also nervous, you have never had a date and having it with him was more than perfect.

You shushed him as you gave him a small kiss on the lips. “Whatever it is, it's fine! Being with you is enough, you know?” You whispered and you both smiled.

“Then it's okay darling! Oh god, I feel like I'm in a dream... A very cute and adorable one.”

You feel your cheeks blush, you have never felt so many emotions together just for a boy, just for him, but fortunately he was now your boy and that made you happy and content. You stayed for a while hugging in silence, enjoying the warmth that your bodies provided you. Who would have thought that you would actually end up with the boy of your dreams, the one who arrived with an angry face for not finishing a race, but who somehow smiled when he saw you.

After a while you separated from the hug and you walked him to the door.

“So... Tomorrow at 6?” You ask him softly.

He nods. “Yes darling! Oh god... I can't believe I can kiss you now!” He says excitedly and you laugh softly.

“It's better than a podium?” You giggle.

“Oh hell yes! It's much better than a win chérie.” He leans in again to kiss you while holding your face gently.

After saying goodbye for like the eighteenth time, you went up to your room to scream into your pillow like a teenager with her first boyfriend, and somehow you felt that way. You heard a knock on the door of your room and you opened it to find your brother on the other side.

“Tell me something, do I have to punch his face?” He question with a sly face and you denied.

“Not at all, plus I don't think you want to break your best friend's face.”

He shakes his head. “I'm really so happy for you bubbles, you have no idea how happy I am for you two!” He said and hugged you. “And tell me... Has he already invited you on a date?” He asked with a sly smile on his face.

You blushed instantly. “Luca! Yes and I won't give you details until tomorrow when I'm back.”

He smiled while he ruffled your hair. “It seems fair to me.”

***

You didn't stop walking around the room while the clock almost struck 6pm, you had dressed pretty nice for the occasion and you really didn't know if it was too much since you've never been on a date before. You feel butterflies fluttering inside you and it is a pleasant and strange sensation at the same time.

“I'm coming!” You say as you go to the door to find a smiling Charles. “Hi bubba!” You say a little shyly as you stand on tiptoe to give him a small kiss on the cheek, an act that makes him blush. “You look handsome baby!”

He looked at you speechless and smiled. “Damn baby, you look absolutely gorgeous!” He said with a smile from ear to ear. “Oh, here these are for you! I know you like sunflowers and as soon as I saw them I remembered how much you love them, so... I hope you like them.” He said as he handed you the small but very pretty bouquet of sunflowers.

Your eyes glazed over a little. “Oh god, you didn't have to do it! But thanks Charlie, I love them!” You say as you give him a hug and then place the sunflowers in a vase.

“Well, are you ready for the best date? Little princess?” he asked softly and you giggled and blush while you nodded.

“I'm very ready charlie bear!” You giggled.

There was a very tender and childlike aura between the two of you, maybe it was the lack of romantic experience you've had or maybe it's the fact that you've been imagining this moment for years with him and that you both knew each other since you were little, whatever, it was a very nice and cute vibe between the two of you.

***

The date was a fever dream, he was everything you had imagined and much more, he was attentive, gentlemanly and he even remembered things that perhaps were silly to you at the time that you said them, but you didn't know he was taking notes of each one of these little things. There were shy and flirtatious glances, little smiles here and there and he even held your hand very delicately and tenderly, as if you were a little porcelain doll.

After dinner in the cozy Italian restaurant you went for an ice cream at the ice cream parlor he mentioned the day before and now you are enjoying a nice ride in his car.

“Do you know what I loved when your brother had sleepovers? When we made a fort in your parents' living room.” He says with a somewhat nostalgic smile on his face.

You smiled. “Oh yes, it was very adorable!”

He nodded. “The most adorable thing was that I told your brother to include you there. Although, now the best thing is that you are the little princess of our own fort.”

You have the faint memory of those sleepover nights where your brother asked you to stay in your room since they stayed in the living room to play boy things, you always wanted to do a sleepover but you never had as many friends as your brother. When your brother were making the fort in the living room, Charles always asked him if he could look for you in your room, since he didn't want you to feel alone. He wanted you to be the little princess of the fort.

“Oh yes, I remember! You were going to look for me secretly from my brother to take me to the fort.” You let out a small giggle at the memory.

“Yes, well... I think it was from there that I started to like you a lot.” He blushed.

You blushed slightly. “Since I was eight years old? Have you liked me since then?” You asked him and he nodded with blushing cheeks.

“Yep, although now it's better! Since I can kiss you every so often.” he giggled. “My cute little princess.”

“Do you know what I thought about you back then? That you were out of my reach... And yes, it's stupid, but you were so cute and kind with me that I couldn't help but think about it.” You say in a whisper as you look at him with adoration in your gaze.

“Oh baby, you were also a cutie, well, you still are! Ma jolie petite poupée.” He says while caressing your face. (my pretty little doll)

He smiled and brought his face closer to yours to kiss your lips gently, your hands were in his hair and you pulled him more closer to you while he placed his hands on your waist and he caressed the area with his fingertips, the kisses became a little messy, but it was quite pleasurable. You broke apart to catch your breath and both of you had little smiles.

“Wow... I can get addicted to your lips, you know?” You say in a whisper.

He smiled tenderly. “Well get ready, because maybe you will have an overdose of kisses every now and then ma belle.” He said as he gave you a kiss on the forehead. (my beautiful)

“Well that's perfect! We just have to... You know, hide from my brother maybe.” You let out a little giggle. “But that doesn't matter now, I just want to be with you.”

After a while you returned to where it all started, at the front door of your house, you both had blushing cheeks, something constant and common next to him.

“Charlie, thank you very much!” you smiled shyly. “Thank you for taking me on a date, it was amazing!” you giggled.

He winks at you and leans down to kiss your forehead. “Was nothing amour, I really liked this date too!” he smiled.

You stood on your tiptoes to give him a kiss on his cheek, letting out a giggle as his slight stuble tickled you. “That tickles!” you giggled again.

He blushes. “Sorry petit bébé!” he giggled too. (little baby)

Just as you guys are about to kiss each other goodbye (finally), you hear someone clearing their throat, you turn your head to find Luca standing with his arms crossed and a smile on his face.

“Okay, okay, little lovebirds, enough of the corny stuff.” He said while laughing a little, you rolled your eyes.

“Shh, shut up mate, just a couple of minutes with her and she's all yours.” Charles says and your brother laughs and went back into the house. “Well... What were we up to?” He asks and you approach him to shorten the distance and kiss, it was a shy kiss but with a lot of feeling, just like the others.

It's incredible how after so many years of having an impossible crush on him it seems like all the pieces are starting to fit into place and it's something very, very precious. You separated from the kiss and put your foreheads together while smiling like two hopeless lovers.

“I like you so much baby.” He whispers softly.

“I like you so so much baby boy.” You whisper too.

At the end of the day your parents were right with all those jokes, they knew that you and Charles were going to end up together because, after all, you were destined for each other and at some point it was going to happen.

ynusername

liked by lucay/l/n, lilyhme, georgerussell63 and others

ynusername yes, I still stand on my tippytoes to kiss him 🎀🎀

tagged charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc oh god, my little princess i love uuu 🩷🩷🩷

ynusername i love u too little prince 🩵🩵🩵

user1 omg, Isn't that @lucay/l/n sister?

user2 oh god! I've read that she and Charles have been dating since they were children, but I'm not even sure.

user3 uhh, no. You're wrong! She is Luca's sister (Charles' best friend) but they weren't dating before, they had a little crush on each other while growing up

user2 ohhhhhh, got it! thx!!!

pierregasly FINALLYYYYY

yourmom I knew you guys were going to end up together! I love you my little guys <3

liked by ynusername and charles_leclerc

alex_albon finally we won't have to listen to Charles regret never making a move on you.

ynusername but he did 😋😋😋

lucay/l/n I love you guys so much bubbles and little torment

charles_leclerc I thought you had forgotten about my "little torment" era

ynusername oh god, don't fight silly boys

lucay/l/n k, i got it bubbles!!

charles_leclerc I love you I love you I love you I love you my girl 🎀🩷

ynusername i love you too handsome, please come back i miss you 🥺🥺

charles_leclerc I will be at your door in a few minutes don't worry baby girl <3

ynusername okay cutie 🥰

#formula one x reader #f1 x you #charles leclerc fluff #charles x shy reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles x reader

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sparklingchim · 1 year

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long way home 26 | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

word count: 4.9k

genre: dilf!jungkook, friends to lovers, angst

warnings: ... emotions 🫡

summary: the one where decisions are made.

a/n: i can't believe m actually typing this out but we're at the end of lwh !!! thank u to everyone reading this series <3 i love uuuu <3

chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 |

masterlist | long way home masterlist

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The coffee shop is eerily tranquil today. There aren’t many customers.

Only a few people linger at the tables near the windows and a single person stands in line.

The only loud noise comes from your phone pressed to your ear as Seulgi screams and yells at you.

You definitely should have waited until you entered the break room, because you’re afraid Seulgi’s voice is loud enough to hear.

“You promised me you would talk to him!”

You close the door with a push of your palm.

“I know, I’m going to.” You sigh and sit down at the table. “I just don’t know when exactly.” You sound sheepish, a worried crease appearing between your brows.

"Did he text you at all?”

“No. Why would he? I literally kicked him out of my place.”

Seulgi groans at your reminder. “Tell me why you did that again?”

“Seulgi,” you whine. You need her advice. She had already done the scolding part days ago.

“I know, I know – I'm sorry,” she replies, softer now – less accusing.

You fidget with your fingers. “Should I text him?”

“No, that’s not a good approach,” she dismisses.

“At least it’s something,” you retort. You could send him a short message. Though you’re not sure what it would contain. Hi, I'm sorry for making you leave, can we pls pls pls talk I miss you. You grimace. Maybe a call would be more suitable.

“Y/n,” Seulgi says, snapping you out of your thoughts. “You know what’s more important than figuring out how to approach a conversation?” She pauses, but you stay silent. “Being ready to tell him the truth.”

You told Seulgi of your feelings for Jungkook the day after he confessed to you. She sat on your couch and watched you intently after you announced in a flustered tone I have to tell you something, right after you had talked about what had happened the day before.

You waited for a reaction, but none came. She had a vacant expression. “I know,” she said then, shrugging nonchalantly. “You think you were being secretive about it?” A puzzled look spread across her face.

You felt your cheeks grow hot.

“Are you?” Seulgi presses.

“Yes. I think I am.”

“Good, because this isn’t gonna fix itself,” she says. “Not unless you finally have the courage to be honest with him.”

She’s right. And even though it’s scary, you have nothing to lose. You have already lost your two favourite people in the world.

“And now go and talk to him.”

“What?” Seulgi can’t possibly mean that.

"Go to his place and have a conversation with him.” As if it were that easy.

“I’m at work, Seulgi.”

“You’re taking a break right now,” she counters.

“Yeah, but-”

“No buts,” she interjects. “Just go and get your friend back. Or future boyfriend, whatever.” Seulgi is unwavering. But your doubts and hesitations slowly start to fade. “I can’t keep watching you be sad. It breaks my heart,” she adds, in a much smaller voice.

“Seulgi,” you pout. She has seen you at your lowest points, and of course you know that she is compassionate, but when you hear her voice, your throat tightens.

“You’re gonna leave now?” she asks.

It’s a bit hectic and far too spontaneous, but her words have planted determination in your mind. But maybe that is exactly what you need. This way you don’t have time to overthink and come up with possible scenarios that make you doubt everything and give you sleepless nights.

“I am.” You take a look at the clock. You still have time left, but it’s definitely not nearly enough for walking to Jungkook’s apartment and talking to him. You have to do this now. If you postpone it to later, you’re not certain if you still have the bravery to do it.

“The next time you call it better be to tell me that Jungkook is your boyfie.”

You ignore her. “I’m gonna hang up now, I don’t have time. And thank you, really, without you I’d probably never do this.”

“That’s what friends are for,” she says warmly. You wish you could hug her.

After the call you leave the break room. There still aren’t a lot of customers and you’re thankful for that.

“Jimin.” You walk up to him. He’s loading cakes into the display case. He gives you a sweet smile.

“Hey, uh – I kinda have something quick to do,” you start, gauging his reaction. “Do you think you could – It’s just something really important and I don’t know if I can do it later and-”

“It’s okay, y/n,” he interrupts, the smile still on display. “I’ll cover for you, no problem. Do what you have to do, there is no rush.”

He doesn’t ask for a reason. He doesn’t ask how long you’ll be away. He doesn’t ask any questions. You would pull him into a hug if you weren’t in such a hurry.

You tug at the tie of your apron at your back and pull it off your body. Jimin reaches out to you and you hand him your black apron.

“Thank you. I promise I’ll be back soon!”

You don’t know the outcome of this, but you will take the initiative and at least try to make things better than they have been the last couple weeks.

You’re a little hopeful, and you have yet to find out if you are foolish for that.

With your heart pounding in your ears, you rush out of the coffee shop.

The walk from the coffee shop to Jungkook’s apartment isn’t that long, but it gives you time to question your choice.

You stand in the elevator of Jungkook’s apartment building, wondering whether you should press the button that will take you back down.

Earlier, a guy walked out of the building when you were about to ring Jungkook’s doorbell. You were able to slip into the building without announcing your presence to Jungkook. You feel more comfortable this way, though your hands start feeling clammy.

The elevator stops at Jungkook’s floor. The steps that lead you to his apartment door are uncertain, ready to turn and sprint down the stairs.

But you didn’t come here just to run away. You want things to be good between Jungkook and you.

You take a deep breath and press the doorbell.

A few seconds pass. Then, the door opens.

Jungkook stands in front of you. His long, dark hair is a fluffy and wavy mess on top of his head, adorned with little wispy flyaways around his face. He’s in casual clothes – black sweatpants combined with an oversized white pullover.

He seems startled to see you.

“Hi,” you say, a little breathless.

“Hi.” His usual mellow lilt carries a rare hesitancy.

“Do you have time to talk?” A lump forms in your throat and you swallow it down.

“Yeah, sure.” He makes room for you to enter and closes the door behind you. You change into a pair of slippers and follow Jungkook to the living room.

“Is Nabi sleeping?” You can’t help but ask. You kind of hoped to see her. You missed her and maybe she could’ve eased your nervousness a little.

“I put her down for a nap a while ago.” Jungkook sits down next to you on the couch, a considerable distance between you. He glances at the clock hanging on the wall. “She should be up soon, though.”

When his eyes draw back to you, you feel a little helpless. You remind yourself of what Seulgi told you. This isn’t gonna fix itself.

After sorting the chaos in your head, you say, “I wanted to apologise for being so selfish all the time.”

Jungkook parts his lips to speak, but you continue before he can say anything. “I’ve never fully tried to look at things from your perspective and narrowed my mind to what I thought was the best solution.” You pull your sleeves over your hands. “It shouldn’t have been that way.”

“It’s okay,” Jungkook replies, flashing you a tiny smile that disappears soon after. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“I shouldn’t have made you leave. That was heedless and inconsiderate of me,” you admit, biting your lip in guilt. “You opened up to me and I didn’t know what to do. There was a lot in my mind, and I just needed some space for a moment – I'm sorry, truly.” You avert your gaze to the carpet. “I honestly didn’t prepare what to say, I just – I left work because I needed to talk to you.”

“Why do you sacrifice so much for me?”

He insinuates more than leaving work in the middle of your shift.

A string tugs at your heart. Jungkook was honest with you, it’s time to be honest with him too – and maybe to yourself as well. It’s time to acknowledge the feelings you hold for him in a hidden little niche of your heart.

It’s difficult to bare that part of you when you’re so used to hiding it.

“Because I love you.”

You said it. And you mean it. Wholeheartedly so.

You can’t foreshadow his response and what will happen, but you’re glad you said it. The relief that courses through you was worth it.

Jungkook’s stare is intense. You don’t know if it’s the intensity of his stare or what you’ve just confessed, but every single bone inside of you feels ignited. You’re burning from the inside with sheer anxiety darting through you, while Jungkook remains silent.

Your words hang in the air, so simple and yet so daunting.

Jungkook’s pierced eyebrow twitches. He opens his mouth but not a single sound passes his lips.

You don’t blame him. Three days ago you shooed him away after he told you the exact same thing. In retrospect, you deeply regret that decision. But at that moment, you were overwhelmed and needed to be alone. Sort your thoughts. And then talk to him again.

You shift in your seat. “Jungkook.” It’s a soft murmur of his name, a trace of pity and urge creeping in your voice.

The spark leaves Jungkook’s eyes and he casts his gaze away. “It doesn’t change that you made me leave. You still don’t want anything to do with me. Right?”

You shake your head vehemently. But he is still not looking at you, so you say, “That’s not true.” You sit closer to him, fingers curling against the fabric of his sweater on his elbow. “That night was overwhelming for me. I made a mistake when I told you to leave, but I didn’t know what else to do.” Doe eyes lock with yours. You realise how much you missed his glimmering eyes that hold the night sky within them. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want you back in my life, Jungkook.” His sweater crumples into a tiny ball in your palm. “I missed you.”

His answer is immediate. “I missed you too.”

Your chest feels light. A giddy warmth encloses you like a blanket.

“I’m sorry. For the way I acted,” you say.

“It’s okay. You’ve already apologised.” He looks down at your hand grasping his sweater. You should let go, but even the smallest hint of physical touch feels reassuring.

“I know but I just – I just think we’re equally as responsible for how things have turned out.”

Jungkook nods. “Yeah, definitely.” With a sigh he leans back. His tatted fingers vanish in his dark hair as he cascades through them.

“I really wanna try this. I want to be with you.”

He unclasps your fingers from his sweater and holds your hand. It’s an innocent, small gesture and still, your skin buzzes with delight.

“Y/n.” The way he whispers your name, tender and careful, as if not to break you. “Don’t you realise how much more you deserve?”

Your brows furrow. “But...” You squeeze his hand. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” His thumb strokes the back of your hand.

“I promised myself to get over you after we graduated high school,” you tell. “But that clearly never happened.” Looking at both your hands you feel silly for ever thinking you could suppress your feelings for Jungkook.

“High school?” he inquires.

You feel small beneath his sharp gaze. “Well, yeah.” You shrug. “You’re like. Really pretty.” Heat crawls up into your cheek. “And we hung out like 24/7. It was not that hard to fall for you.”

“I mean, same.” The corner of Jungkook’s mouth tilts upwards.

Your lips form a tiny ‘o’. He has feelings for you since high school? It doesn’t make sense. “But you never shut up about how we’re such good friends,” you accuse him. All these years. And you didn’t know.

“Oh, yeah. That was...” He trails off.

“That was what?” You level him with a raised brow.

You see the struggle in Jungkook’s eyes. You don’t want to push him, but there are no more lies between you, no more secrets and untruths. You want only total honesty from now on.

“I thought I wasn’t good enough. That you deserved more.”

You shake your head in denial. “Why would you ever think that?” The years you spent with him as a teenager are full of happy memories. There were no big fights, and you don’t think you ever said or did something that made him feel that way. He’s been your best friend for so long. You love him just the way he is. “Did I ever make you feel like that?”

“Your father once told me not to try to pursue anything more than friends with you,” he explains hesitantly. “That’s why I’ve always talked about being such good friends.”

“He said what.” You’re stunned. What was your dad thinking?

Jungkook pulls your hands to his lap. “He only meant the best for you at the time.” He remains calm but little bubbles of anger prick at your skin.

“I don’t care what he was thinking.” You scowl, lips drawn into an angry pout. “So you’re telling me that if my dad hadn’t said anything, we would’ve-”

“Don’t get mad now,” he interrupts, an amused smile playing at his lips as he tucks an errant strand of hair behind you ear. “Your dad didn’t have any ill intend. I know we could’ve saved us a lot of time and misunderstandings but looks at us. Years later and we’re still in love. It doesn’t matter if in high school or now. It’s the same love. Just - “Jungkook flashes you a cute smile. “I think the only thing that has changed is that I love you even more.”

You bite down your lip. This. This is all you’ve ever wanted.

“Being apart from you was terrible,” you say, scooting closer to him. “I spent so much time thinking about you, you know that?”

He chuckles. “I think I do. You never leave my mind, y/n.” His hand around yours feels strong, protective.

“Never?” You ask tentatively. Looking at him through your lashes.

“No,” he confirms, a subtle, gentle shake of his head. “Never.”

You’re not even that close to him, but your entire body prickles at the proximity of Jungkook. The weeks without him have made you forget how it feels when you’re with him and now your body reacts to it like anticipating the last book of a fantasy series.

You need him closer than this. And it’s almost as if Jungkook can hear your thoughts, because he lets go of your hand and instead pulls you by your waist into his side. His hand lingers at your waist. And you might just feel like your skin is on fire.

“I like this better.” Jungkook’s voice is low, and so so close, it sends shivers down your spine.

“Me too,” you mumble. You have your chin propped up against his arm, looking at him with a small smile. You grow shy beneath his gaze, and you don’t even know why. “I’ve always wanted this.” You clasp your hands around his arm.

“Good,” Jungkook agrees, voice an octave deeper. Oh. More goose bumps. “Because I’ve always dreamt of this too.”

His other hand comes up to your face. He cups your cheek so delicately, the warmth of his palm is a soothing distraction from your racing heart.

Jungkook’s eyes dart between your eyes and lips, a question floating in the air that he is too afraid to ask.

“Jungkook.” It’s a plea, a request a yes, please kiss me and make me forget the world for just a moment.

Jungkook bends down. Your heart thumps against your chest and when you feel the softest hint of his mouth against yours, it stops beating.

The kiss is brief, gentle. A mere brush of your lips. Your eyes flutter open when Jungkook pulls back again, just the tiniest bit. He gives your waist a squeeze. His lips left a glimmer of tingles on your lips, and you ache for more.

“I spent so long waiting for this moment I was worried fate might never let me have you,” he whispers against your lips.

“You have me, Jungkook.” It leaves your mouth like a promise. “I’m here.”

Your hands loop around his neck and you surge forward, pulling Jungkook into another kiss. He moves his lips against yours in a practiced manner, as though you did that every single day of your lives. Like he is the missing piece of your heart to make you whole again.

Jungkook tugs you closer to him. You raise to your knees and throw a leg over Jungkook’s thigh. He follows your movements with his mouth, the softness in the beginning switching into a frantic, messy kiss.

You sit on his thigh, hands diving into his fluffy hair. You pull at some strands when he bites down your lip, moan into his mouth when he pushes you closer at your lower back and you graze over his thigh. With every sweep of his lips, another broken bone of your body mends.

You never want this moment to end.

You didn’t know you needed this so desperately, but now that you’re in Jungkook’s embrace you never want to let him go. Just you two, forever.

But then a sudden cry blares through the apartment.

Jungkook draws back. His forehead is against yours.

You two need a second to come back to the real world. The afterglow clouds your rational thoughts like the night setting after a beautiful summer day.

Your breathing is laboured, so is Jungkook’s. Your hands slide down to his neck and down to his shoulders.

“Nabi woke up from her nap.” His nose scrunches at Nabi’s wailing. He plants a tiny smooch on your lips, lingering close for a chaste moment before he gets you off his thigh.

You think about waiting until he returns with Nabi, but you can’t wait to see her tiny, bubbly form after so long.

Before Jungkook leaves the room, you scramble to your feet and reach for his hand. “I missed her,” you whine and Jungkook leads you to the nursery with a promising squeeze of his hand.

When you follow Jungkook into Nabi’s room, you take tentative steps towards her crib. Nabi is curled up in her little blankets, her round doe eyes shimmering with tears. Instinctually, you coo at her sight. Your heart softens.

“Wanna hold her?” Jungkook asks. His eyes never left you since you entered the room.

You nod – way too animatedly – and you think you see a smile spreading across Jungkook’s face out of the corner of your eye.

Ever so gently, you swoop Nabi into your embrace. Her little sobs ring throughout the room and nip straight at your heart. “My baby,” you murmur. You rock her in your arms. “I missed you so, so much.” She is wearing her baby bear romper, the material a fuzzy brown with two little bear ears attached to the hood.

Nabi is a small, fluffy bear and you’ve missed this tiny human so enormously.

Her doe eyes – an exact replication of her dad’s – stare up at you. The cries subside into whimpers, her puffy lips trembling.

“Nabi.” Her name bubbles past your lips in a whisper. You brush your knuckle against her doughy cheek. “Do you remember me?” She blinks through her thin, wet eye lashes. Having her in your arms unfolds a gloomy feeling in your chest. Yes, you are happy to see her again, but how were you able to spend more than two weeks without her?

“Are you crying?” Jungkook suddenly asks, stepping forward.

It’s only then you discern the tears pricking your eyes. “No,” you deny, sniffing a little.

A soft chuckle springs from his chest. Jungkook stands behind you, nuzzling his head to the side of your face. His burly arms envelop your waist. “Don’t cry,” he mutters. He faintly nudges your cheek with his nose. “You’ll never be separated from her again.”

“I wouldn’t survive that.” Your lower lip juts out as you’re in awe with Nabi’s cuteness. She has your heart.

“She wouldn’t either,” Jungkook retorts. His hushed timbre so close to your ear is drawing you back to him. You slowly rest your head against his chest. His voice. You could listen to him talk for hours with no end. “Nabi wouldn’t settle for sleep if she didn’t have some of your clothes in her bed.”

With a quick tilt of your head, you glance up at him. And then your eyes travel to Nabi’s crib. You see something in a lavender colour peeking from underneath Nabi’s blanket. A top you must have left here.

You thought you had successfully managed to restrain your tears, but here you are again, with new tears stinging your eyes.

“You can't just say that.” Dolour cloaks your voice. “It’s gonna make me cry.”

“Sweetheart.” He pecks the crown of your head. “It’s okay now.” There’s a hint of amusement swirling in his tone. But his touches on your body are soft, soothing.

Nabi has gone completely silent in your grasp. You boop her nose. A smile unfurls on your face. So little. A broad smile blossoms on Nabi as a reaction, pudgy cheeks scrunching her twinkling eyes. The absolute sweetest giggle sparks from her. Your heart clenches at the sound.

But then your eyes spot her reddened gums and the faint white outlines of her teeth.

You gasp. “She is growing teeth already?” With a swift whirl of your head, you stare at Jungkook, eyes wide.

“Yeah, and she’s been really fussy about it.”

“Oh my God,” you utter, looking at the little baby in your arms who’s growing up too fast. A subliminal melancholy sets in your tummy. “She was just a tiny baby and now she has teeth?” You ask, appalled.

“Not yet,” Jungkook says. “But it doesn’t matter how fast she grows – she will be my little baby forever.” Nabi’s eyes are drawn to Jungkook as he speaks. “Isn’t that right? Hm?” He leans over your shoulder, squishing her doughy cheek with his fingers. Nabi squeals, another smile displayed on her mouth.

You give Jungkook a kiss on his cheek. His eyes are sparkling just like Nabi’s. Jungkook turns his face to you. “And you,” – his lips brush over the corner of your mouth – “You will be my baby forever too.”

You laugh against his mouth.

“What.” He raises his brows, a pleased expression on his face.

“You’re silly.”

“No, I’m not.” He pulls you closer to him. Your back is flush against his lean body.

“I’m just saying the truth.”

“Oh, yeah?” Playfulness flashes in your eyes.

He gives you a firm nod. “Yeah.” Jungkook gently strokes your hair over your shoulder. Your skin tingles when his digits unintendedly skim over your neck.

“Tell me another then.”

“I love you.” He didn’t let a second pass before answering. “I’m so incredibly in love with you.”

Your heart flutters in your chest. “I love you.”

His loving eyes bore into your soul. No one has ever looked at you the way Jungkook does. Like you are beautiful, a work of art.

A deep warmth of domesticity floats in the air. It’s a vast contrast to how you have been feeling in the past days.

You share a sweet kiss with him, but it gets quickly disrupted by demanding babbling from beneath you.

"Yes, I love you too, missy,” Jungkook says, brushing her thin hair from her forehead. Her brows are deeply furrowed. He gives her a kiss there. Nabi’s trembling pout changes into a beam. “Always needy of attention, huh?”

“Just like her daddy,” you tease, grinning at Jungkook, before you leave the nursery with Nabi.

Jungkook catches your waist in the hallway. “You’re right,” he admits, a smirk curving his lips. He pulls you into his side as he walks you to the kitchen. “That’s why I don’t wanna spent any second of my life apart from you anymore.” Jungkook pecks your forehead.

A shy smile sets on your mouth. You sir down at the dining table and watch Jungkook opening a cupboard with Nabi’s food.

Nabi has found interest in playing with your hair, occasionally tugging at it.

“Not a single second?” you ask mindlessly, eyes focused on Nabi.

“I’m being serious.” He pops open a jar. “Y’know what.” Jungkook turns around to you. “You should move in with me.”

Your head snaps to him.

You search for a hint that tells you that he doesn’t actually mean it, but Jungkook doesn’t budge.

“I mean it,” he confirms.

“I can’t just move out of my apartment like that,” you reason.

Jungkook shrugs. “Just stay with me.”

It sounds so simple from his lips. And maybe it is. Seulgi has already taught you today the simplicity of just acting without overthinking too much beforehand.

“That way Minjun can’t bother you anymore.” Something flashes in Jungkook’s eyes. “Next time I see him I’m gonna break his neck.”

You ponder for a second. “I mean, I spent most of my time here anyway,” you say. “But lets not rush anything.” You don’t want this to be ruined before it has even properly started.

“Of course, baby.” He turns to the counter again. “Only if you want.”

You watch from behind as he prepares Nabi’s food. The contours of his shoulder muscles flexing with his movements conjure butterflies in your tummy. Hm. Maybe you should consider moving in if this is what you’ll get to see every day.

“Waking up next to you for the rest of my life sounds like a dream, honestly,” Jungkook flirts. You don’t have to see him to know he’s grinning annoyingly.

You’re glad he doesn’t see the way your teeth involuntarily sink into your bottom lip at his teasing voice.

“Your daddy can be insufferable sometimes,” you whisper conspiratorially, looking down at Nabi. She babbles something in return. You giggle and Nabi squeals in delight.

“What are my girls talking about?” Jungkook asks.

“None of your concern.”

You hear him huff. Suddenly, you remember that you left work during your shift. And that you promised Jimin to be back as soon as possible.

“Jungkook,” you gasp. He immediately turns to you. “I have to go back to work. Jimin is covering for me, but I've left him for way too long. I-”

“It’s okay, I’ll drive you back.” Jungkook’s calm voice works like a miracle cure for your panic. “I’ll just feed Nabi real quick and then we can leave.”

“You don’t have to. I can walk back.”

“I want to,” Jungkook says. “Besides, we can eat our cookies again. It’s been so long since I’ve eaten one.”

“I haven’t eaten one in so long as well.” The last time was together with Jungkook.

Jungkook blinks perplexed. “How have you survived until now?” He closes the distance between you, the back of his hand against your forehead. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You roll your eyes and swat his arm. “I’m perfectly fine.”

“Why are you on a cookie diet?”

“Reminded me too much of you,” you mumble.

“Baby,” Jungkook coos. His knuckles trace the skin of your cheek. “I’m sorry. I’ll buy you as many as you want.”

You grin mischievously. “For the rest of my life?”

“Of course.”

“Daaa,” Nabi gurgles.

“Yes, I’ll buy you as many cookies you want too, once you grow your teeth.”

“That’s gonna be so soon.” You pout.

“We’ll always have time to make a second b-”

“Jungkook hurry.” You push him away. “Poor Jimin is covering for me, and Nabi is gonna starve.”

“Okay, okay,” he replies, though he doesn’t go back until he traps your mouth in a tender kiss. It’s a short kiss, but it messes with every coherent thought in your brain.

You wait for Jungkook to bring Nabi’s warm food. He opens the cutlery drawer and fishes out her tiny, pink spoon.

You smile when you think about the phone call you’re gonna have with Seulgi later. The next time you call it better be to tell me that Jungkook is your boyfie.

The ambiance is cosy – Nabi snuggled up in your arms, Jungkook sending cute smiles your way as he gets her food ready – a feeling of utter contentment that has your whole body at peace.

It’s been a long way to get here, but you finally feel at home.

#jeon jungkook #dilf jungkook #jungkook #jungkook angst #jungkook f2l #jungkook fic #jungkook imagines #bts angst #bts imagines #bts x reader #bts scenarios

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ja3hwa · 1 year

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Day 22 : Masturbation - Wooyoung

「Title」 : Desperate

「Word count」 : 1.17k

-> Genre: Suggestive, Frat Boy Au

Paring: FratBoy!Wooyoung x Reader

[Warnings] : Weed is mentioned. Jerking off. (Both m and f). Facetime sex. Wooyoung is very horny and high. Brownies (hehe). Pet names. Some hints of exhibitionism. Wooyoung moans loudly. Kinda switch reader and switch Wooyoung. Almost getting caught. Swearing. Let me know If I missed anything.

February Filth Fest Event Day Calendar

It takes you a while to wake up and realize that your phone is ringing. You shuffle over the bed and look at the time. It bloody one in the morning. You flip your phone over and see it’s your boyfriend calling. He’s currently at a friend's place. Boys' night out and everything. You stare at the phone too long that the call rings out. It’s not even two seconds later that the phone rings again in your face. You sigh and answer. It’s a face time and you nearly scare yourself with the image of yourself. Wooyoung on the other hand is a mess as well. He looks high as a kite. And there’s… clothes around him? What is he doing in his friend’s closet?

“Oh, you finally picked up,” He mumbled.

“What are you doing in the closet?” You ask still half asleep, trying your best to rub the sleep out of your eyes.

“I’m in here so no one hears me.”

“Whatever for?”

“I’m horny.”

You blink slowly somehow now fully awake. “You’re high and horny aren’t you,” This is the second time he’s done this. But the first time it wasn’t at one in the morning. You let out a small huff as you roll over to your side. His breathing begins to pick up on the other side of the call and your eyes widen.

“You are not jerking off in there! Get out of the closet!” You snap in a hush, trying to sound assertive but in face of it, you couldn’t even hide your smile. God, he’s an idiot. Wooyoung grumbles under his breath and the only thing you’re able to make out is, ‘Give me a second,’ while static from him brushing the phone around makes it near impossible to hear anything else.

You watch your phone as he shuffles around, clothes hitting his face. He opens the closet door and the phone suddenly flips with the flash on. You’re able to see all the other boys passed out asleep in a pile on the small bed with pizza boxes all over the floor. Wooyoung curses under his breath and turns the phone back on him. The angle is unflattering. You can see up his nose and his face looks like the sun. God, he’s a mess but somehow you still love him. He finally makes it to the bathroom without waking anyone up and but doesn’t turn the light on. Instead of sitting on the toilet or sitting on the floor, Wooyoung decides to sit inside the shower. It takes him two times to try and close to glass door before he sits on, what you guess, wet tiles.

“Will you join me,” Wooyoung asks in a whisper his eyes only half opened.

“Woo, I am not in the mood right now. It’s one a.m.,” you say but quickly add, “But don’t let me stop you from a good time.” You hear him shuffle around and something hits the glass. Like clothes thwacking against a wall. All you can imagine is Wooyoung naked from the waist down and it makes you smile widely trying so hard to burst into a fit of laughter.

“How much did you smoke?” You ask.

“We didn’t smoke tonight. We ate brownies and I had quite a lot,” he admits.

“Oh, Woo. No wonder why you’re desperate,” you tell him truthfully. He only grins at you. But his face turns to pure bliss in an instant. He’s touching himself and he’s already lost himself. “I don’t just wanna see your face, let me see you,” you whisper.

His focus comes back onto you and then there’s more shuffling around with the phone. He sets it up on the opposite side of the shower wall so he’s in fall view now. There’s enough light for you to see he’s got his legs open and his cock is full in his hand. His shirt is rolled up and the hem is between his teeth. God is he a sight. You’re fully awake now and you can feel yourself getting horny, clenching your thighs together as you are now laying on your arm.

“Alright, keep going Baby,” you urge him on biting your lip slightly. He begins jerking himself off but it’s not slow or anything for show. He’s quick, desperate and he’s chasing his own high at the moment. His pants become louder and you suddenly become self-aware that there’s others in the room beside him.

“Softer, Wooyoung. You’re not alone,” you remind him in a sultry tone. His teeth let god off the shirt so it can now sit bunch up on his chest. He places a hand over his mouth to muffle his noises. He rubs himself slower as if your voice reminded him you were there. Now he’s showing off and it’s getting to you.

“Mind if I join you?” You ask.

“Go-” He whines. “Go right ahead…Please,” he answers breathlessly.

You sit up slightly, placing pillows behind you so you can lean into them more easily. Your shuffling catches Wooyoung’s attention making you stop for a moment out of curiosity. Keeping a tight grip on your phone, the other hand comes up to your mouth to suck on two of your fingers, coating them up before gliding them down to your core. You’re already a little wet and you glide two in easily. Keeping an easy rhythm for yourself, Wooyoung begins to speed up again.

“Come for me baby,” you whisper and it seems to push him over the edge. He comes in his hand, catching himself so it doesn’t go on the tiles. He pants loudly and looks back at the phone.

“Holy shit,” he breathes out. He slowly collects himself, grabbing his phone with his clean hand and he just stares at you. Even though with all this excitement, you lazily keep your rhythm. You started to become overwhelmed, feeling your high coming closer and closer. You are so close, so desperate to release and just as you are about to come a sudden sound of a door opening makes you stop in your tracks. Wooyoung stays still also as someone walks in. You bring your fingers out, feeling your mood ruined. Then there’s the sound of someone pissing in the toilet. The piss goes on forever and Wooyoung looks terrified. If this person sees him, there’s no talking his way out of this one. But somehow, luck is on his side or his friend is just too high because they walk right back out after completing their business.

“That was a close one,” you chuckle lightly.

“I’m never doing this again.” Wooyoung was definitely lying in this sentence.

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surfinminho · 7 months

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Kinktober day 9- Age gap w/ Felix

⤷ warnings: fem!reader, dom!Felix, unprotected sex, oral(m), cumming in mouth, sex while otp(?)

⤷ word count: 1,38k

⤷Taglist : @greysweaters-blog @hannie-bees @ashydoinwhat @chansbabygirlsstuff @hiddlestandom @stanskzsstuff @mal-lunar-28 @leeracha @linos-kitten @bonateukna @ihrtlix

⤷ permanent taglist: @iadorethemskz

*please dm me if you want to be added or removed from the taglist.*

(Reader is 22 Felix is 34)

this was wrong, you knew it but you couldn't help it. He was the CEO of some big company and you were simply a secretary.its not ideal for you to date the "big guy" of the company. If anyone found out you were at high risk to lose your job.

It was almost like a ritual, every year the company would have something like a party to celebrate all the achievements and new workers for that year. You were supposed to start working the next day yet still being invited to go. What's the harm in going? The email you got said your boss is 'Mr.Lee'. You've heard not alot of people get to even see him let alone work alongside him. You were estatic to say the least.

When you get to the place, it was packed. You maneuver your way through the abundance of people towards a seat in the corner, you weren't much of a talkative or outgoing person so sitting in the corner on your phone was perfect for you.

Towards the end of the night, you find yourself in the hallway pressed up against the wall, felix kissing you like he's never kissed anyone before.

When you walked into a hallway, getting lost. Maybe it was because you had one to many drinks to have or maybe you just need some dick. You turned the corner to see a man, couldn't be older than 35 leaning against the wall legs crossed and his phone in his hand. When you look closer you realize it's the CEO, lee Felix. Besides the meeting you had with him a few weeks ago, you never really met him or officially "met".

He looks up from his phone when he heard footsteps. "Ah, __! Nice to see you again." He held out his hand to meet yours, keeping a firm grip on your palms.

"How do you like this so far?" He puts away his phone walking towards you.

"Oh! It's great, though I'm not one to, put myself out there you know?" You laugh at him before trying to get to your destination.

As soon as you take a step his hand stops you "I want to properly talk to you, like a conversation." he smiles, lighting dragging you back towards the wall he was leaning on.

You guys ended up talking for God knows how long. Talking about any random thing that comes to mind.

You come to find out that he's a really sweet person. Talking about his other friends who work in different departments, and stuff he does for his sister's. He was such a gentleman.

"You're such a pretty girl __, did you know?"

"I am?" You cock an eyebrow, confused at the sudden statement.

"Prettiest girl I've ever seen" he leans in, head tucked into your neck. With every breath he takes you feel the hairs on you back rise. You try and ease away from the situation, but with no where to move hence your back against wall. You find him gorgeous, obviously. He looks like a fucking angel in all the photos you see, nonetheless when his front is pressed up against yours.

"This dress is gorgeous on you, where'd you get it?" His voice drops an octive, rubbing you sides.

"Oh, it's a gift! I almost feel bad since it's a really expensive brand." It was a gift, so you didn't lie. From your friend you happens to model. They received a dress but it was the wrong size, leading them to give the dress to you.

"Really now? What brand baby" he cups your ass over the dress.

"Louis Vuitton" you look around to see if anybody is near or passing by.

"Let me buy you every dress in this color."

The statement caught you odd guard. Buy you stuff? Your friend never told you what the price of the dress was, in the hopes that you wouldn't return it. But you found it anyway, the price shocking you. 1 million dollars. You wouldn't have taken it if you knew. So having him say that he wants to buy you more?

"No, there's no need really!" You laugh trying to avoid to conversation.

"But I want to. C'mon let me spoil you."

__________________________________________

You found yourself inbetween his legs making out with him. You didn't want to let him buy you things, but you couldn't help but stay with him. Not because of his money, but because of his personality. He was a sweet soul, always being a gentleman. You like to think him giving you stuff is just a extra.

"let me please you" he whispers inbetween kisses, slipping down your straps of your tank top.

"I- we have work in like 30 minutes, w-we can't?"

"We shouldn't." He corrected "but I want to. Please baby? I'll call out sick for both of us" you wanted to, but you felt guilty for keeping him from his job.

"Okay."

He starts pulling down your pants, keeping your panties on.

He traces his thumb over the wet patch forming on your panties.

"Such a naughty girl. Getting this wet because of what? Some kissing? Pathetic."

He goes back to kissing your neck, going downwards until he reaches your breasts.

Your breath hitches, waiting for him to do something.

He doesn't pull the loose fitted clothing off, instead sucking on whatever was available.

He pulls down his pants with one hand, other hand hold you still.

He pulls his pants and boxers down just enough to free his cock.

He nudges the tip on your clit trying to make you moan.

"I'm gonna give you the phone. Call and say you wont be available to come into work today."

You looked at him like you were seeing double. "You're joking?" You try to get him to laugh or even let out a little giggle but you get nothing.

"Do I look like I'm joking? Call them now." He's rubbing tip slowly along your folds.

"Im waiting I dont have all day."

You dial the number waiting for the person on the other end answers. As soon as they pick up Felix thrusts all the way into you.

He leans forward, elbows balancing up.

"Put it on speaker"

You remove the phone from your ear and put it on speaker, resting it on your side.

"H-Hello, yes good morning"

The other person on the line seems to be too happy for their own good.

"Good morning! How are you today" you can tell there is a smile lacing their face.

As soon as you begin to speak, his thrusts begin to quicken in pace. Hips barely meeting your thighs.

"A-ah yes about that, I am not feeling w-well today so I won't be able to make it fuck" he brings his hands to start rubbing figure 8s on your clit

"Sorry, what was that last part?"

"N-nothing!"

"Hm, okay. Well hope you feel better. Have a nice d-."

You didn't even wait for them to finish their statement, hanging up the phone immediately.

"Maybe kitten needs a reward. Did so good following directions right?"

"Y-yes please." you whine, trying to get him to move faster.

He flips you over, grabbing your hips before he starts to pound into you.

"S-such a tight fucking pussy. Only for me right?"

You nod Into the bedsheets unable to say anything.

"Words kitten"

'y- a-ah shit" he reaches over to your breasts, pinching your nipples.

"Baby, you're cumming, how can I move when you're clenching down on me like that" he grabs your hips pushing them off of his cock.

"Wanna cum in your mouth"

He proceeds to manhandle your body to get you in a kneeling position.

"Open." You stick your tongue out, waiting for him to feed you his cock.

He slides only the tip in when he starts jerking it off.

"Such a good girl hm? Making me use your holes like these"

You looked up at him and started to gently suckle on the tip.

"s-shit gonna cum in your mouth. You want it right."

You tried to nod your head but he shoves his cock down your throat.

"Then fucking take it"

#stray kids #surfinminho #skz x reader #skz x you #stray kids smut #lee felix #dom lee felix #kinktober 2023

127 notes · View notes

damn-stark · 9 months

Text

Before dawn

Takes place in-between chapter 1 of Tragedy at the Miller’s

Requested by @sunnybunnyy2 “please please please if you haven't already can you please write about the fight Joel and reader had and why he left her? And or; more about tommy, Maria and readers relationship before she left? It's my favourite the last of us fanfic and I need to know what happened. I am living for all of your stories<3”

A/N- SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG, I JUST NEEDED TO GET IN THE MINDSET FOR THIS SERIES AGAIN, AND I ALSO HAD OTHER FICS THAT NEEDED TO BE WRITTEN, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT THOUGH :)

Warning- ANGST, fluff, talks of death and suicidal thoughts, swearing, long chapter, fluff :)

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

How long has it been now? 18 years since the outbreak happened? Since…Sarah died? Time just blends together now since it’s been so long. What you are sure of though is that it all feels like a lifetime ago.

What you’d give to go back, to see your sister again, to be with your dad and be a family. That’s your birthday wish this year, for the big 22, to go back in time. Or at least to have five more minutes there, in that bubble that was your life before the outbreak destroyed it.

Then again…why should you wish for such a thing? You haven’t even seen your dad in…8 years?

Yeah, it’s been 8 years now since you’ve seen him, since you’ve spoken to him. You’ve heard about him through your uncle Tommy since they keep in touch over some radio. Which isn’t the same thing, you know, but that’s the best either of you have done.

Sarah would be disappointed. But it’s not like you’re at fault for it! He left! He left you. You just—

“What are you doing?” A voice breaks you from your train of thought.

“Hm?” You hum and drift your gaze to the side, spotting Maria looking at you in confusion.

You look down at the dishes you’re washing and then look at her. “Washin’ dishes?”

Maria’s eyebrows furrow slightly before she just begins to shoo you away. “Come on, move over. Today is the only day you’re excused from your chores, remember?”

Oh right, birthday pass. There’s too much running in your mind to remember.

“You okay?” She asks as you step aside to let her take over.

She knows you well, she’s known how to read you since the moment you met. It’s touching, but kinda weird too.

She’s too observant.

“Yeah,” you lie. “Yeah.” You nod.

Maria’s eyes narrow on you, they dig in you. You can feel the burning sensation, so you just avert your gaze and turn to lean back against the kitchen counter.

“Grease,” you blurt. “I want to watch Grease tonight.”

Maria keeps studying you, but she doesn’t choose to press you, she looks at the dishes and nods slowly. “Okay. And hey, I still have some of that nail polish. We can do each other's nails while we watch the movie.”

You smile at the ground and nod eagerly. “Yeah, that sounds fun. I’ll go get it and start the movie.” You push yourself away and hurry on to do what you said while you think. You try not to, you really try not to think, but it’s impossible now, it’s hard not to think about memories on your birthday.

Sarah used to paint your nails, you tried to paint hers but she always got annoyed that you painted around her nails, so instead your dad let you paint his toenails. Not his fingernails because you didn’t want his friends at work to laugh at him, you were considerate that way.

Your birthdays used to be your favorite, even after the outbreak. It was never big, especially not after, but they tried and you loved it every time. After your fourteenth birthday though, your birthdays were a reminder of what you couldn't have, of what you lost. You’ve tried, there’s been some happy birthdays since you got to Jackson, but this year has been especially hard.

There’s moments where you just wish this was your last.

“…so I told her just to get out of my face,” Maria’s story intrigues you.

You smile softly up at her. “Just like I said?” You tease.

Maria looks up from your nail and nods. “Yeah. Just like you told me.”

You giggle and sit back, you try to just bask in the joy she feels, in the joy you see on your uncle Tommy’s face.

“Sunny, come take my shoes off,” your uncle Tommy says as he puts his boots up on the coffee table.

You scrunch your nose in disgust and scoff. “As if. Do it yourself, chump.”

Your uncle chuckles. “Maria, Sunny here was the nicest girl. The times I’d go visit after work she’d coming runnin’ to greet us. She’d take our shoes off and bring me my beer.”

Maria laughs, and you snort. “Austin can bring you your beer,” you talk about your dog. “Atlas and I trained him to do it.” You smirk proudly.

Your uncle shrugs. “Yeah, well it ain’t the same.”

You roll your eyes and sit back with your right hand still in Maria’s grasp. “Well, you’re gonna have to get a maid then. ‘Cause Maria ain’t doing it either.”

“Yeah,” she laughs. “Because he takes my shoes off.”

You giggle and peer back. “Whipped.” You make the sound effect, and your uncle quickly grabs the pillow off the couch and hurls it at your head.

When it hits you though, it makes you move so Maria gets annoyed. “I just messed up. Thanks a lot.”

“Sorry,” you whisper even if you weren’t at fault.

You then proceed to drift your eyes to the tv to watch the movie that was playing, but neither of you were actually paying attention to due to the small conversations you’re holding.

Well they’re doing most of the talking, you're just listening. And unknowingly showing the emotions you’ve been trying to hide from the both of them.

“Are you okay?” Maria asks.

You blink and slowly meet her gaze. “Hm?” You probe with feigned confusion.

Maria briefly meets your gaze before grabbing your other hand to paint your other hand. “I’ve noticed you’ve been quiet, and you’ve been looking down.”

Shit. Shit.

Your uncle Tommy is waiting for an answer now too. You can feel his stare.

“I…”

It’s not like you can just burst out with everything you’ve been feeling recently—No, everything that’s been building up for the past couple of years. One, you don’t want to ruin today, and two, you hardly know what it is you’re feeling. It’s all so confusing, so unlike you. Angry? Sad? Lost?

“I’m okay,” you assure her and offer her a soft smile so she won’t poke further. “Just, you know, birthday blues over the fact I’m getting a year older. I wish I could look young forever.”

“Such a travesty,” your uncle teases.

“Blah,” you stick your tongue out.

“Hm,” Maria hums unsurely, but just leaves you be again. “Okay.”

You muster a wider smile to show it to her, to assure her even if you do wish for some sort of comfort, for someone to tell you that you’re actually fine. That nothings wrong with you. But you can’t worry them today, so you just watch the movie, and when Maria finishes painting your nails you move on to hers.

Once your nails are painted all nice and look all manicured, you finally pay attention to the movie along with your little family. Maria lays against your uncle, and you lay your head on Maria’s lap and let her caress the side of your head.

It’s a simple moment. Something that maybe you should grow out of, but you can’t help it, you like your little family; Maria, your uncle Tommy, and you. You’re content with them, you like being coddled by them even at 22. It lets you feel safe, something you failed to feel sometimes in your life due to your circumstances.

So…what is it that’s bugging you? That has you so…raveled?

Maybe going to your meadow and laying under the stars will help? Bring some ease to your aching heart?

Thus when the movie is over, after the clock strikes 12 am and brings a new day and ends your birthday, you return home. Rather than walking inside through the front door, you instead walk past the gate and head straight to your meadow in your backyard.

It’s been raining for the best couple of days, and you’ve also been busy so you haven’t had time to come and just find joy in your precious meadow you made for Sarah. Not until tonight.

Yet when you step past the porch fence, when you take a step in the meadow, there’s no flowers decorating the green pasture. Not even the winter wildflowers live, the meadow is dull…For the first time since you began to grow this meadow, it’s empty.

The stars…

You look up, but the sky is clouded, no stars gleam in the sky. The only source of light comes from the porch light. But the sky is dark and grey, dull like the once vivid meadow. And so the relief you came in search for, the joy you ached to find here is nothing but a dream, the very memory of your sister that rested on those very flowers is gone, like her.

There’s nothing here. There’s nothing here for you. Yes, you do find happiness in the little things, in your family that lives here, your friends, your plays you produce and star in, the other people that live here, this town in general, but what do you have to live for?

There’s nothing here. It’s dark, the only light is dim and it’s you, everything else is basked in darkness. You search for more source of light, something to bask the gap in your heart that was once full and complete because of your dad, but when he left, everyday, little by little that gap slowly lost its light. Now you’re alone, dimming away.

So maybe it’s time to go. You’ve been thinking about it, planning it now for a while—it will be a country wide trip. You’ve commented about it to other people and they want to go too.

Will you come back though?

It’s okay if you find your end somewhere out there.

——

*8 YEARS BACK. OUTSIDE BOSTON.*

“Oh!” You exclaim happily, and don’t fret to leave your source of light behind on debris to carefully fit through a gap left between slabs of cement debris.

“Hey! Y/N, what the hell are you doin?” Your uncle Tommy shouts after you.

“I found somethin’ inside, shine your light!” You yell back without bothering to further explain yourself, plus, it’s a closed off room with the only way in and out through the gap you just climbed through. There’s no infected so nothing to worry about.

Your dad will still be pissed though. If he finds out…

Which he will! Your uncle Tommy is a snitch!

“Did you check your surroundings at least,” your uncle has no choice but to just say now.

“Yep,” you groan.

After a few more seconds of hearing little rocks roll down the slabs of cement, after squeezing yourself through a small gap only you fit through, you finally make it out and land in the little break room that was once part of some kind of store.

“I made it,” you comment through the gap.

Finally your uncle does what you had asked and shines his flashlight through the gap, managing to blind you in that instant.

“Just hurry on up,” he counters back, annoyed. “We’re gonna be leavin’ soon.”

You hum in agreement and turn around to face the little corner that was left open.

There isn’t much to search through, but you still start at the top right cabinet.

Albeit there’s nothing. Next; open box of expired crackers, mugs, and more open bags of expired dry food. Great.

Next—haha! Jackpot! Instant coffee!

“Look!” You shout and spin around to show off your sweet find. “It’s coffee!”

“Oh? Really? Closed?” Your uncle asks.

You drop your gaze and double check that it’s still sealed. That there’s no mold or icky stuff.

“Yes! It’s safe!” You squeal, and then slide a backpack strap off your shoulder to stuff the coffee container in your pack. “My dad will love it! Maybe we still have time to boil some.” You throw out happily.

This time your uncle hesitates to answer, so you look up and question his silence. “You hear me?”

You can’t see his face because the light blocks his face, but he hesitates again before simply humming in agreement.

Weird, but you don’t question it. You just continue to search, and end up finding sealed granola bars, and some useful utensils other people glossed over. It’s too bad you can’t search the rest of the store since it’s all crumbled. There probably would’ve been some cool things.

At least you found coffee though.

Which is why you leave the little corner break room and climb back out. Once you’re near the exit your uncle Tommy helps you back up to stable ground.

“Found some granola,” you let him know and hand him one bar. “See, it was worth it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters. “Come on. We’ve been gone longer than we should have already.”

Hopefully your dad won’t be upset, you woke up earlier than he did because your uncle invited you to patrol with him, which he hardly ever does, so your dad didn’t see you leave.

He tends to get mad over little things like this, but you don’t mind much, he just gets worried. Plus today you have coffee for him. It’s his favorite.

“Sunny,” your uncle interjects after staying quiet the entire way back to your camp. “Can I tell you something before we get to camp?”

You brush him off due to your excitement to get the coffee to your dad. “Tell me later, I want to give my dad what I found.” And since camp is right ahead, and your surroundings are clear, you make a run for it back to camp.

The few people that are traveling with you from the Boston Quarantine zone bid you a goodmorning, and you happily greet them back with a gleeful smile, whilst you also search for your dad amongst them.

However, he’s not amongst the crowd. Maybe he’s still resting. So you don’t lose a pep in your step and head to where you last saw him resting.

Nevertheless, when you get to where he had been sleeping, he’s not there, nor is his sleeping bag, or his stuff. Weird…

Maybe he’s just walking around.

Now you slow down and start your careful search.

“Y/N,” your uncle calls out from some paces behind you. “Let’s talk babygirl.”

Where is this man?

You reach the end of the perimeter of your camp and he’s still no where around. He wasn’t with the others, or waiting for you anywhere. So where did he go?

“Uncle Tommy,” you finally address the man as you turn to face him with growing concern. “Where’s my dad?”

Your uncle Tommy finally catches up to you, and quickly averts his gaze while he lets out a deep breath that begins to worry you.

“Uncle Tommy?” You probe and slowly feel your joy fade away and get completely overtaken by concern.

“Y/N,” he mumbles and grabs your shoulder. “Your dad…he’s not coming with us.”

What?

“What do you mean?” You giggle nervously. “He was with us this morning. He left Boston with us. Is this a prank?” You scoff. “Because it’s not funny.”

Your uncle doesn’t break into a laugh, he doesn’t smile, his frown deepens and his eyes express…sadness.

“Your dad is going to stay in Boston,” your uncle adds. “He just wanted to accompany us outside of Boston. But he’s not comin’ along anymore.”

He’s still joking. He—your dad couldn’t have just left you. His daughter. His youngest daughter. His daughter that still needs him. He didn’t leave.

“Stop,” you push your uncle away. “It’s not funny. Where is he?”

Your uncle sighs. “Sunny I’m being serious, your dad left. He’s not comin’...I’m sorry.”

But why?

Your eyes fill with tears and something tight wraps around your heart.

“Then we have to go back,” you begin to insist as you’re now in denial. “We have to go back to him. We can’t just leave him.” You turn to try and head back, but your uncle quickly manages to grab you and pulls you back.

“No, we’re not goin’ nowhere, he wants us to keep goin’. Together.”

You shake your head. “No. I can’t leave without him. Uncle Tommy, he’s my dad. We can’t,” you begin to stammer, feeling your throat begin to burn. “We have to go back. Please.” You keep trying to head back to Boston, but your uncle gets ahold of both of your shoulders and makes you face him.

“I’m sorry, but no. He left. He doesn’t want to come okay? But we’ll see him again. We’ll find a nice town, not one like this Quarantine Zone. You’ll make friends and you’ll learn to fight with the Fireflies in the meanwhile. Okay? And when—”

“Why?” You cut him off with tears streaming down your cheeks. “Why isn’t my daddy comin’?” You felt like a child again. A child exposed to danger, left in the dark. “Why did he leave me? Did I make him mad? Did I do somethin’?”

Your uncle quickly shakes his head. “No, no. Baby, no. He’s just…your dad just wants to stay. I’m sorry I can’t give a better excuse, a different reason, but he wants us to do better. He wants you to do better. Don’t you still want that?”

It’s been your dream, but…

“He doesn’t love me?” You whisper in a shaky voice.

Your uncle nods. “He loves you. I think he’s just strugglin’, it happens you know? I think everything that’s happened affected him differently, and he’s just grown scared to mess up with you. He’s afraid of losing you, I think that’s why he left. But he will never stop loving you. He just needs time, okay?”

You still don’t understand why he left you. But you also don’t really want to go back. Especially not now.

“Okay,” you mutter sadly.

Your uncle wipes away your tears and offers you an assuring smile. “It’s just you and me now, Sunny,” he says.

You feel assured by his words, by the fact that he stayed with you, but now without your dad it feels like something went off inside you.

——

*NOW. JACKSON.*

“I think I can pull it off. I’ve been reading some welding books. I mean I was in construction. How hard can welding a ring be?”

Your uncle Tommy has been going on about fixing Maria’s wedding band that didn’t fit her. You’ve been partially listening throughout your patrol, but your mind drifts to different thoughts about how you’re going to tell him you want to leave. How you’re going to explain it so he won’t get super upset.

“Is it hard?”

You blink and look over at him. His eyes were already on you though, so he catches the fact that you weren’t paying attention. “You okay?” He asks again. This is his second time today. Just like Maria, he suspects something’s wrong.

But you aren’t ready yet. “Yeah,” you lie, and drop your head to brush your fingers through your horse's hair. “I’m fine.”

Your uncle's gaze lingers on you, you feel him study you for a moment. Will he believe you?

“You know,” he interjects. “I’ve been in your life since you were a baby…”

Fuck, you should’ve known better.

“…I raised you for 8 years,” he continues. “It was just the two of us for a lot of those years, so you think I don’t know you, but I do. I know what every little expression means, I know when you’re sad, when you’re angry, especially when you’re excited and happy. I don’t want to drag it out of you, but you’re starting to worry me, Sunny. So tell me, please.”

Fuck. Fuck.

Your eyes are watering, you didn’t want to cry, but every word he said just now triggered those tears you hold back to fill your eyes.

“Well…” you start off slowly and keep your eyes averted. “I…” fuck. “I’ve decided that I’m going to leave.” You slowly drift your eyes to him and notice that he looks confused.

“Leave what?” He asks. “Your house? I thought you liked livin’ there?”

You nod slowly. “Yeah, I do. But it’s not that. I...” You pause and blink repeatedly as your courage falters. “I’m goin’ to leave Jackson.”

At the sound of your words your uncle brings his horse to a stop, so you follow suit to stay close. He then looks at you for a moment in disbelief before he chuckles dryly, and looks away at the woods that surround you. You don’t add anything, you let him wallow in what you just said and wait.

When he finally finds his emotions, his words, he faces you and shakes his head. “No,” he blurts. “You’re not leavin’ anywhere.”

“Uncle Tommy you can’t make me stay,” you argue. “I’m twenty-two. I’m an adult now, not a little girl or a teenager. I’m grown—”

“You’re not actin’ like it,” he cuts you off frustrated. “I mean it’s stupid. It’s crazy. You have a life here, you’re safe, here. There’s nothing out there but death.”

You shrug and keep holding in your tears. “Yeah, I know that…but I want to take the risk. I need to find who I am. I…don’t know who I am anymore,” you say in a shaky voice. “I’m lost. There’s an emptiness that keeps growing, that keeps pushing away the light that's over me. And I’m afraid if I stay here the darkness is going to swallow me.”

Your uncle scoffs and looks away as he shakes his head. “So what? You think you’re goin’ to find this light by what? Getting eaten by infected?” He spats. “Are you listening to yourself? We don’t live in the other life anymore, y/n, you can’t just grab a backpack and travel the world! The world is dangerous—”

“I know that!” You cut him with frustration that he’s not understanding. “I know that. Don’t you think I know that?” You sit back and exhale deeply, feeling the tears that you tried to hold back finally roll down your cheeks. “But I’m tired, I…I’m tired. I want to travel the country, prove to myself that I can make it by myself. I need to find myself, and that’s not here.” You shake your head. “I’m sorry, but you won’t change my mind. Nor will Maria.”

Your uncle holds your gaze with a hardened pointed glare, and nods along slowly in comprehension. He stays quiet and adds tension to the silence. He drops his head and draws in a deep breath before looking up at you and exhaling.

“Fine,” he deadpans. “Leave,” he spats angirly, and surprises you. “I won’t stop you. You want to die out there, be my guest…”

“Uncle Tommy,” you whimper.

“No, don’t. Your dad left and that hurt. I stayed strong for you, but I was hurt. He was my brother and he left. He chose to break us apart in this desolate world,” he says with cracks in his own voice caused by overwhelming anger. “You made my life good, lookin’ out for you kept me from losin’ myself. But I still live with this gap in my heart because I don’t know if it was Joel’s last day and I didn’t know. So if you go too I won’t let that consume me. I can’t.” He shakes his head. “You want to go? Go. I won’t chase you and I won’t worry.”

And just like that his words cut deep in your already bleeding heart. This isn’t what you wanted, you didn’t expect him to give you his back, not him. He’s the only family you have left since your dad left you. He’s everything to you and so much more, you don’t want him to forsake you.

“Uncle Tommy,” you plead.

“No,” he interjects quickly. “No. Just,” he sputters and nudges his horse's reins. “Don’t. I'm done.” And just like that he rides ahead without waiting for you. He leaves you behind with tears streaming down the curve of your cheeks. He leaves you aching.

But he doesn’t change your mind from what you plan to do. Nothings going to change your mind anymore. You just wanted his blessing, or a comfort. But you got neither.

How will Maria react? He’s probably going to tell her as soon as he gets back home, will she forsake you too?

If she does you’ll truly have nothing. Perhaps then that dimming light will snuff out completely, leaving you with nothing but a vast emptiness.

——

*LATER*

After your uncle Tommy ran out on you, you took the long way back home just to get your thoughts straight. To think of what you need to tell Maria.

She’ll be worse than your uncle perhaps.

Nevertheless, you do hope to run into your uncle to talk, to not leave things tense, but the further you walk inside your gated community, the more hope you lose about seeing him. Other people greet you when they see you, some of his friends wave at you, but you don’t see him amongst them.

You hoped to see Maria too, but she’s also not around—Then again that’s a good thing, you still need time before you talk to her.

One person you do run into though is Apollo, your best friend and housemate. He spots you first and runs at you. When he’s beside you he throws his arm around your neck and pulls you towards him.

“What’s up sunshine!”

You roll your eyes to him and shoot him a teasing look. “Sunshine? If your girlfriend hears she’ll probably beat you.”

Apollo scoffs and shrugs. “Now, now, stop all that yapping, okay? It’s not fair just because you don’t like her.”

You scoff in disgust. “Yeah. I don’t. I can read people you know. She gives me a bad feeling.”

Apollo rolls his eyes and lets you go. You quickly glance at him and see his discontent.

“I'm sorry,” you quickly correct yourself. “I'll try to stop. I'm just…looking out for you,” you explain as you nudge him. “Which is not an excuse, but…” you sigh. “We’ve known each other basically a life time now. It’s my job.”

Apollo meets your gaze and sighs but nods slowly. “I know. What has it been now? Fuck,” he laughs softly. “Seven years?”

You nod. “A lifetime.” You look away from him to look your path ahead.

“Which is why…I know somethings up with you,” Apollo mentions and gently nudges you. “What’s wrong?”

You exhale deeply and drop your gaze. “I told my uncle Tommy about my plans. He…got mad at me, he…turned his back on me,” you reveal in a shaking voice. “I mean i knew—I expected him to get upset, but this? He’s all I got.” You stop walking and sniffle.

Apollo knew about your plans, he knew about them when they were just running thoughts. He of course doesn’t approve of it, but he’s been more lenient.

“You have to just give him a moment to think,” Apollo says as he stops in front of you. “You’re all he has too you know?”

“He has Maria,” you add right away. “His wife.”

“In that case you have Maria too,” Apollo argues.

You slowly look up at him with a watery gaze and shake your head softly. “But does that matter? I view her as a maternal figure, but I’ll never be her child. I’ll never be their child. They’ll have a kid sooner or later and I’ll be forgotten while they stay a family. Which is the reason I shouldn’t be uspet about my uncle really, it’ll hurt less when he eventually leaves me behind like…” you trail off and drop your head to wipe away your tears.

“You’re crazy,” Apollo interjects. “You’re crazy to think that your uncle Tommy and Maria would do that.”

You shake your head in disapproval because your dad left you. The one person you thought would stay in your life forever left you without a second thought. Like if you were a piece of trash.

“You mean the world to them, the both of them,”

He continues. “It’s why your uncle fought against your plans, why he got upset.

Because he can’t fathom the thought of losing you, his niece, a girl he raised through this hell, his daughter.”

You meet Apollo's gaze and let out a soft cry.

“He’s not forsaking you,” Apollo continues softer. “He’s fighting for you. In his own way. You mean something to him. To her. To me. To Mia, Atlas, to everyone that sees the plays you put on with all your love for something you’re keeping alive…isn’t that enough to let you stay?”

You hold his gaze and shake your head.

Apollo nods slowly in comprehension. “Then just give him time, okay?” Apollo asks of you. “He cares.” He offers you a tiny smile, and you wipe your tears off your face and just nod. You can’t actually say anything, you’re too emotional.

“Come here,” Apollo adds and carefully wraps his arms around you.

You let out a small, relieved laugh and hug him back. “Thank you,” you whisper.

Apollo rubs your back and responds softly. “I’m here for you.”

You stay in each other's embrace for a moment longer, basking in each other's warmth and presence. When you do pull away he keeps his arm around you, and you continue your way home.

“Now come on,” he says sweetly. “We can eat lunch and watch something while you come up with what you’re gonna tell Maria. Because…I’m scared for you.”

You chuckle. “I’m scared too. She might tie me up.”

Apollo gasps. “I got your next play!” He exclaims. “Rapunzel! And hey you can actually be locked away in some tower! Talk about bringing your character to life!”

You roll your eyes in annoyance, but you can’t help but laugh.

He had a way to do that, he finds ways to make you happy when you’re upset. And it worked for a while, he made lunch and you watched a movie, eventually your friend and other housemate Mia came home too, so she joined in and you felt happy. But when the moment was done, when you were alone in your room, the happiness left.

Thoughts overwhelm your mind, different variations of thoughts. Music though…it helps and keeps things quiet.

Albeit there is one person who surfaces to mind. He exists only in your memory, just like Sarah. It’s been 8 fucking years since you’ve seen him. Since he left. And even after all of it, all the ugly side that came out of him, you still want to see him again. Maybe one more time to hug him, have him hold you and remind you of the much simpler things, of home.

You can’t return home, but one warm embrace, his scent will make it feel like you’re home again—

Nevertheless, as you’re lost in thought, suddenly the music from your headphones stops playing. “Hey,” you complain and sit up. That’s when you see Maria with the cord in her hand.

Fuck.

You pull the headphones down to your neck and scoot to the edge of your bed with your gaze averted since she looks upset. “Hey,” you greet softly.

“You missed dinner,” she breaks her silence and throws the cord on the bed.

There’s no time for small talk, you can’t sit here and just pretend she doesn’t know. “Uncle Tommy told you,” you state.

Maria exhales deeply and sits besides you on the bed before she nods. “He told me this crazy ass story that you want to leave.”

You blink repeatedly and sniffle. “He’s mad,” you state again.

“Yeah,” she scoffs. “He’s pissed…” she trails off and lets out a deep sigh before she shifts around to face you. “I wouldn't be a good guardian, protector…mother, if I didn’t try to convince you to stay.”

You slowly drag your eyes up and meet her dark brown eyes with sadness.

“It’s a stupid idea,” she continues with anger in her own voice, in her own expression. “You have a life here. A life you’re building. Things are never going to be easy, life isn’t that simple. But that’s life. Even now.”

You shake your head. “I don’t expect life to be easy,” you argue. “I don’t want to leave because life is hard. I…” you pause and drop your head. “You can’t convince me to stay Maria. I’m not a little girl anymore to be protected, I have to experience on my own if my choices are bad, he can’t decide that anymore.” You shake your head. “I want…” you come to another pause and shake your head.

“I don’t know when I’m going to die,” you continue, “it might be tomorrow, next week or years from now, but it will happen though, and I don’t just want to know these walls. I need to live for myself, not be protected all the time…I want to see the ugly and the beautiful, know it before I die.” You lift your head and meet her gaze with tears running down your cheeks.

“You didn’t let me finish,” she says softly. “I won’t fight you to stay, but you tell me, give me a great reason why I should let you leave. Why you want to leave and I’ll see you off. I’ll accept your existential crisis, I’ll worry but wish you the best.”

You look at her with confusion and probe. “You’re not mad?”

“I’m furious,” she states seriously. “But I want to listen to you. I know somethings wrong, just talk to me.”

It wasn’t your birthday anymore to avoid ruining your day for them, but you also don’t want to burden her with your trauma.

Maria notices your reluctance though and presses you. “Come on please.”

You shrug and wipe away your tears, but still can’t utter a word.

“It better not be because of him,” Maria interjects without naming your father.

You sigh and finally answer her. “I tried, you know. I was scared of everything, but I tried to fight away the fear so he could stop gettin’ mad at me. Because that’s all he was, mad all the time.”

“You were just a kid,” Maria argues.

You nod softly. “Yes, but I had to grow up to survive. So he could look at me with a proud smile and tell me I’m doin’ good,” you continue shakily. “But…no matter what I did it angered him because I could never be her. He loved her deeply, after she died a part of him died too. Maybe that’s one of the reasons he left…” you pause and fight your tears back. “…I was never enough for him. And after he left I was angry, I pretended he was dead…it was easier that way. But I’m still here, and it’s back, that feeling like I’m not worth something, like I’m a failure.”

Tears roll down your cheeks after the fight you tried to maintain didn’t last whatsoever. Maria notices right away and takes your hand in hers.

“That’s not true,” she argues against your comment.

You avert your gaze and sniffle. “But it is, I was never enough for him to stay with me. I’m not enough…I’m a failure.”

“You’re only 22 years old,” she adds. “You’re still young. You still have a lot to accomplish, so much life to live.”

You slowly meet her gaze and counter. “That doesn’t matter or take away from what I feel. That’s why I need to leave. So I can find me, by myself, and not get coddled. I can’t numb away my pain anymore or else I’ll get swallowed by the void that’s already surrounding me.”

Maria holds your gaze and nods along slowly in comprehension. Neither of you say anything for a while, you let her think. And after a while she finally responds by pulling you in an embrace.

“I hate that you feel that way,” she says as you hug her back carefully, almost out of fear she’s going to take it back and just scold you. “I can contradict you in so many ways, but your mind is set. You’re an adult…we can’t force you to stay. Just promise you’ll fight to stay alive. That you’ll come back.”

You nod. “Yes,” you assure her with a wobbly smile. “I swear I’ll fight.” You then pull back and face her. “What about my uncle Tommy?” You slide your hands to your lap and clench them to fists to dig your nails in your palm. “I don’t want to leave with him mad at me.”

Maria scoffs. “Just talk to him. I have. He’s home.”

Your uncle and you don’t argue much, not even when you were younger and your emotions were all over the place, so when you do it was like a tragedy to you, after your anger passed of course. You hate having the sun set on your anger, if you could you resolve your issues that same day. Of course sometimes it takes time, but this time, even if you aren’t leaving at this very moment, you can’t have his back turned on you.

You just hope he feels the same, hopefully he doesn’t want to have days to himself. The longest you’ve gone without talking to your uncle is probably like, two days. You won’t survive a whole week, or weeks!

However, when you do get to their house, since Maria left to let you have time alone, the atmosphere between your uncle and you is full of tension. It’s deafening. He keeps himself busy for a moment, but when he joins you in the living room the silence is awkward.

What can you tell him? You didn’t do anything wrong, and you said everything you needed to say…

Wait!

“I hope you know,” you break the silence softly. “Nothing will change my mind, but I still hope that you can accept and respect my choice. I need you to or else I won’t be at peace.” You look over at him and notice he keeps looking ahead.

Your uncle then proceeds to let out a deep breath, he drops his head and looks at his cup of alcohol solemnly.

“I promised Maria that I’d fight to come back,” you add. “To tell you the truth I was fine not coming back, but…you mean everything to me, I can’t do that to you. Or Maria. So I will fight, I will come back. I promise.”

Your uncle blinks repeatedly and slowly lifts his head and faces you. “You swear it?” He says.

You nod. “I swear,” you assure him.

Your uncle sighs but he then nods softly. You let out a relieved sigh and can’t help it, you throw your arms around him and hug him tightly.

“I love you, you know?” You tell him.

He nods and hugs you back. “I know,” he says. “I love you too. That’s why I got angry. But you didn’t deserve how it came out. I’m sorry.”

You shake your head. “It’s okay. I understand.” You hug him tighter and just relish in the comfort he brings you. You stay in each others embrace for a moment, and this time when you’re apart the silence isn’t full of fucking tension, it’s comfortable.

But after a while he breaks it slowly and in a shaky voice. “The dark days are gone…And the bright days are here,” he continues in a soft sing-song voice. “My Sunny one shines so sincere…”

Oh. Oh! It’s a song, Sunny, by Boney M. He loves to play this song when you’re around, he also loved to play it when he would come to your house before. It’s your song.

“Sunny,” you join in very softly, and with tears rolling down your cheeks and a smile on your face.

“One so true, I love you…” you both trail off and begin to laugh. You then look at one another and chuckle harder.

“I hope you find everything you’re looking for,” he says.

“Yeah,” you sigh. “I hope so too.” You then let your head fall on his shoulder, and he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around your shoulders and press a kiss on the top of your head.

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @maplecohen @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201 @maeneedsabreak @maelartasch @adristyles @daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @ririvilliams @khaylin27 @hypatia93 @hummusxx @v4mpyk1tten @1donoow @your-shifting-gurl @g4ns3y @izzzzy-the-amazing @aphr0d1teh @lovelyygirl8 @ivy-taylorsversion

#fanfiction #damn-stark #tragedy at the miller's #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic #tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou fanfic #joel miller x daughter!reader #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal #Tommy miller #tommy miller tlou #Maria #maria tlou #Sarah miller #Sarah miller tlou #oc character

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singstaircase · 3 months

Text

Those that go knocking on forbidden doors often find the one who guards it – Dominik Szoboszlai

Summary: Dominik suffers the consequences for killing the one he should not have hurt. But maybe there's still hope left for him

Warning: Blood, violence, nightmare, death, disturbing imagery and description, implied mentions of religious elements and of course angst

Well this took a turn I did not expect. Now there's a cult, decades long conspiracy, a century old man and the devil possibly involved

Can be read said a part 2 of If there is something after hell.

Major spolier alert for the game "Faith: the unholy trinity"* If you haven't played the game, I highly recommend playing it.

(Name) smiles at him, so loving that for a moment the pain subsides. For a moment, Dominik forgets she is plunging the knife deeper into his heart.

Dominik turns and is faced with a distorted version of (Name). It has a gaping bloody hole where the face should be. It can't be her. Suddenly, a hand reaches out from it and pulls him inside.

Dominik turns around and is met with his reflection in the mirror. He's holding onto a key that he can't remember. The reflection has an eerie smile as it brings the key closer to its face.

Without a thought, Dominik jams the key into his eye. Blood starts to pour out and turn the floor black. As he stumbles back, the room suddenly turns dark.

“Priest…” someone whispers into his ears. The voice sounds familiar, the voice sounds like Ga–

Before Dominik can grasp the thought, the air around him thickens with an ominous presence. A figure materializes in the darkness, draped in crimson robe. Just as the figure is about to make contact with him,

Dominik returns to reality with a gasp. Beads of sweat cover his forehead as he frantically scans the familiar surroundings. The clock's hand is ticking away at 8 in the morning, meaning he'd have to spend another day with only four hours of sleep.

Another nightmare, he sighs to himself. Frustration hangs heavy in the air as Dominik buries his face in his hands. Why is this happening to him? This is the…he has honestly lost count on how many times she keeps haunting him. He's lost count of the sleepless nights at this point.

Nothing seems to work; instead, the nightmares persist and evolve. Everything feels like a nightmare now, sometimes he isn't even sure if what he sees is in reality.

He still sees her in the house, just standing in the corner and watching him. He can't tell anymore what's real or not. It's like someone is trying to show him something. Like she's still out there somewhere, trying to communicate with him.

With a sigh, Dominik reaches towards his bedside desk and pulls out a journal. He's been trying to write whatever he can recall from his nightmares. Seemingly trying to make sense of this nothingness.

Day-???

I think I am going crazy. I still see her and it doesn't feel like a dream anymore. In my ‘dream’, she told me not to be afraid. In my ‘dream’, she hugged me. When I woke up, it felt real. Too real.

Day-???

I was in the bathroom when I looked up at the mirror. I didn't see my own reflection but (Name). She was looking at me with something I can't quite decipher. It wasn't sadness or anger. But it wasn't a look a human gives you either.I woke up after that.

Day-???

I think I shook hands with the devil. He looked like a long lost friend.

Day-???

She smiled at me today and I smiled back.

I didn't wake up after that.

September 21

There were new kids at the training today– Conor Bradley and Bobby Clark. Boss seems to like them. Everyone says this is the first time they've been here but I swear. I swear I have seen them before.

In my house.

September 22

I didn't have any nightmares today.

Day-???

Bradley and Clark are weird. Whenever I look at them, I see (Name) nearby. Before I only used to see her in my home. But ever since these kids have come here, I keep seeing her here too.

I don't think these are my nightmares anymore.

Day-???

Isn't it weird now I am having nightmares about something that never happened?

I was in this old house in the middle of nowhere and so was (Name). Of course she was there. But she didn't look like her, it was almost like something was ___ her.

Right in front of my eyes, she ___ someone with their own ___. I have never felt more scared than that moment. I ran to the basement and she chased after me. I called God, anyone, anything to get me out of here.

Then out of nowhere, a figure in white appeared. I begged the figure to let me leave alive. It gave me a choice.

Stay here and try to save (Name) or leave but that would mean ___ (Name)’s soul forever. I was so scared, I just wanted to get out of that place. So, I __. I agreed to ___ (Name)’s soul.

I got out alive. I woke up in the hospital.

Two days later, the police said they found a body that matches (Name)’s description.

Why did that feel so real?

Dominik's sigh lingers in the quiet aftermath of his journaling session. His eyes remain closed momentarily, when the familiar chime of the doorbell cuts through the silence.

A brief pause envelopes the room as Dominik hesitates getting up. The doorbell echoes again, demanding a response. Another sigh escapes him as he rises from his place.

His house is quiet now and Dominik hates it. He hates the silence, it feels as if the silence itself is always mocking him.

Upon opening the door, he finds no one. Just as Dominik's about to close the door,a subtle touch at his feet halts him. He glances downwards to discover a newspaper lying at his doorstep.

In any other circumstance, he would've ignored it but the headline captures his attention with a grip that refuses to release him. The words on the front page bring back a painful truth, a stark reminder of the past he desperately wants to bury.

He should go back but an unseen force seems to guide his movements. Something, inexplicable and compelling, makes Dominik pick up the newspaper. He feels compelled to read on, as if an unseen hand is guiding his eyes across the paper.

Liverpool mourns the death of (Name) Alexander-Arnold Szoboszlai

West Derby, Liverpool

S̵̨̗͇̰̭̻̟̣͖̣̟̻̱̻̬̟̘̦̹͇͛ͦͩͫ̿͑͑̇͛ͥ̀H̶̴̡̹͔̘̠̦̆̒̄̄͒͆́̄ͭ̚̕E̷̸͒̿̃̓ͣ̐͌̏̍̾̄̆҉̜̰͖͇̜̘ͅ ̨̬͔̺͍̹̤͉̰̫̝̺͇̭̙̩̻̆ͭ̑̽͒̽ͯ̏̌ͬͫ̀̀Ȉ̶̸̻̱̼̝͆͒̎ͯ͛͆̾̈́̔̓̽͆͜͞S̷̴̯͕̞͈̥̝̥̝̙̩̠̳̍̀͆͋̅ͨͦ͐ͨ͑͛̎̐̿͘͞ͅ ̖͖͈͔̳̬̭̰̰͓̘̤͕̘̽ͦ̆̃̂̃̑́̔̂͟H̸̛̏̓̂̋̓̉ͤ̃̑̍̓̿ͫ̋́ͮ̃͡҉̦̤̘͉̣̥̳̟̠̘̼͈͖̝̳̠E̛̝̱̞̝̻̻̓̒̍̏̒͊͑ͬͮ͗̃̌ͭ́̄̈́͒̇̀R̸̵̿ͭ̋̓̐͘͟҉̗͎̦E̵̲̥̩̭̜͚͇̱̻̙̱͈̟̫̳̬͗̐̂ͭͥͮ͜͞͝ ̰̰̝̟̲̤̲̗̬͙̼͙̤͓͌̈́ͨ̀ͪ̓̿̈́̀̈́ͩ͋̌͛͒̆̐̕͠ͅD̸̵̛̞̥̹̮̲͇̝͉͚̫̙̲̠͙͎̱̄̂ͫ͐̀͡O̢͍̠̖̣̖̗͕͓̳͓̜̱͙̹̽̍̋͂͆͂ͭ̈ͦ͘͢ͅM̧̙̬͚̱͓͑̇̈́̑ͪ̀ͬ̎͐͒ͬ̄͑̐̉̚͘͞I̢̢̮͕̘̱̹͇̔̒͐ͧ͑́͟͠Ń̐̅̿ͤͮ̚͏̷̦̩̼̺̥͈͞͡I̴̵̵̴̺̜̠̼̺̱͖̱͓̻͇͔͖͙̮͈͑̔͑̀̌ͤͪ̋͑̿̾ͨ͠Kͦ̇̿̈͌͑̐̂̔ͮͭ̊̉̚̚҉͍̤̞̖̜̟̟̤̦̰͕͚͇̖̥͚̀͘͝ͅͅ ͦ͗ͯ͆̒ͫ͑̑̂͊̑̚͏̨̝̱̮̩͇͓͙̭͕̭̖̝̼̩̤

West Derby observed their three day long community wide mourning for the slain ____.

The body of (Name) Alexander-Arnold Szoboszlai was discovered in the woods outside of West Derby last week, in what authorities are calling a ritualistic murder.

Police report that she was apparently stabbed multiple times in the throat and beheaded before being killed in a paganistic ritual. Pandemonium regnat. Her body was partially burned as well. A body part is said to be missing, although authorities would not specify which one.

An investigation is ongoing into the mysterious disappearance and subsequent death of (Name) Alexander-Arnold Szoboszlai. A month into the probe, any official comments on the case have been declined. Trent Alexander-Arnold, the English and Liverpool right-back and brother of the deceased, has publicly pointed fingers at Dominik Szoboszlai, his clubmate and husband of (Name), accusing him of murder.

Dominik Szoboszlai's team has swiftly rejected these serious allegations. Despite the team's unequivocal denial, the Hungarian footballer himself has yet to make any public comments on the accusations.

Authorities are urging people of West Derby not to mourn the death of Alexander-Arnold Szoboszlai because, after all, she was a degenerated devil-worshiping thug who was hooked on crack cocaine and hated her parents.

Why even conduct an investigation at all? That's what you would like them to think, wouldn't you Dominik? You actually did the community a favour when you found her in that house. You stalked her through the forest and dragged her into the house. You ignored her cries for help, her pleas for mercy. You put holes in her ruined drug addict body and then you chopped off her heads because everybody knows that removing the head is the only way to kill a snake. Well guess what? YOU DIDN'T KILL THE SNAKE, DOMINIK. YOU CANNOT KILL WHAT CANNOT BE KILLED. THOU SHALT NOT RAISE UP WHAT THOU CANST NOT PUT DOWN AGAIN. THOU COULDST NOT KILL (NAME); THOU SHALT NOT DESTROY MY WORKS FOR THEY ARE THE WORKS OF THE ETERNAL DRAGON. EVEN NOW SHE IS AT THY DOOR. HER HAND IS AT THY THROAT, YET YOU SEE HER NOT. I WILL HAVE THY SOUL FOR I AM THE G O D O F T H I S W O R L D

I AM HERE, DOMINIK.

His hands, already shaky, grasp the newspaper with a desperate urgency. As Dominik reaches the final lines of the article, a cold shiver courses down his spine.

Suddenly, the newspaper dissolves into a pool of blood. As Dominik recoils with a scream, his frantic attempts to distance himself makes him stumble in every step.

A red creature starts to emerge from the bloodstained remnants of the article. Dominik's heart pounds in his chest as he retreats, his eyes locked in a terrified gaze on the creature before him.

As the creature lets out a scream, his terror reaches its peak. With a sense of impending doom, Dominik braces himself for the worst. But as soon as it appeared, the creature vanishes into nothingness.

Blinking in disbelief, he finds himself face to face with Conor and Bobby. The sight of the boys covered in blood and ethereal light sends a jolt of confusion through him.

“What a–”

The sentence dies on Dominik's lips as an unseen force starts to drag him backwards. Panic surges through him and his efforts to break free goes nowhere. The touch is surprisingly gentle yet he can't bring himself to remove it. It feels familiar.

Soon, he's thrust into a room and the door slams shut. As the figure turns, Dominik's breath catches in his throat. His eyes widen in disbelief as he stares into the face of (Name).

Nightmarish sounds begin to seep through the door as (Name) draws closer to him. As she sits before him, Dominik finds himself unable to look away. Her touch, light and gentle, sends a shiver down his spine. And he can't help leaning into her touch.

“(Name),” he says tenderly, intertwining their hands. Her sad smile tugs at his heartstrings. With a gentle touch, Dominik tries to reassure (Name) but her gaze remains fixed on the door.

“There isn't much time,” (Name) murmurs. With a swift motion, she retrieves a necklace. She places it close to her heart, muttering some sort of silent prayer.

As she places the necklace into Dominik's trembling hand, a wave of inexplicable calm washes over him. (Name) draws Dominik's face closer and her lips press gently against his forehead in a tender kiss.

“Do the right thing, Dominik,” she whispers like a last goodbye. But before he can ask what she means–

Dominik wakes up and he has never felt more exhausted. With a resigned sigh, he reaches for his phone. Alexis has been pestering him for months now to talk to Dr. Martin and today, he finally caves in and gives him a call.

Dominik's the last one to arrive at the training and he's just glad Jurgen isn't angry at him for that. He supposes the bags under his eyes are a dead giveaway of the nightmares.

For some reason, Conor and Bobby look different to him. The usually hyper boys, are now looking at with a mixture of pity and concern. He can't shake the feeling that they know something he doesn't.

The big red marks on both Conor and Bobby's arms, same as his, doesn't escape Dominik's eye.

As the training wraps up, the sun begins to descend. The sight that greets Dominik when enters the dining room is the last straw. The once familiar room is now a scene of chaos and destruction, with shattered glass littering the floor and torn curtains hanging in tatters.

Shock overwhelms Dominik as he staggers backwards. He's caught by Conor and Bobby's arms in time. The status of the wall is what terrifies him the most. It wasn't a dream, it was real. All of it.

In what seems like red paint, it says,

“THOU COULDST NOT SAVE (NAME), THOU CANST NOT DO THE RIGHT THING, DOMINIK”

“We had a deal, Mr. Szoboszlai.”

“I have no idea what you mean, Mr. Miller.”

“I promised you that I'll help you gain whatever achievement you desire and in turn, you will help me by providing ‘donations’ for my clinic and apartment complex.”

Dominik wants to laugh. “You think you were the reason I won everything?”

Gary's smirk flutters Dominik's amusement. “You think your broken leg was repaired overnight without the assistance of an unworldly being?”

“I suggest you leave now with dignity, Mr. Miller. Before I call the security.”

“You are going to regret this Dominik Szoboszlai.”

#dominik szoboszlai fic #dominik szoboszlai x you #dominik szoboszlai fanfiction #dominik szoboszlai x reader #dominik szoboszlai imagine #football imagine #football fanfic #football fic #footballer imagine #football x reader #footballer x reader #football x y/n

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themagnusbane · 6 months

Text

I swear, in all these Only Friends discourse that has been raging since the finale dropped on Saturday, I wonder if anyone actually took a second to be like: this story is being told through the eyes of 20-21 year old college students. They are the mouthpiece through which this story is being narrated. Is it possible therefore that their age, their lack of experience, their slightly sheltered lives, might play a role in how they navigate their friendships, the world at large and how they react?

Like @jojotichakorn has started several times, and I agree a 100%; this story isn’t a morality lesson. Nobody is saying casual sex bad. You are evil if you’re non-monogamous. Blah blah blah. As a graysexual polyam person who just uses the term queer cuz it’s easier than me having a 30 mins convo with a stranger about my orientation and how everything intersects for me, this show was everything. Cuz PEOPLE ARE MESSY! People are messy and judgemental and annoying. Just because they’re queer doesn’t mean they WON’T be messy. I was especially a fucking shithead at 21. Hell, I was a virgin until I turned 22 (not quite as sanctimonious as Mew, thank SPIRIT!!). Who I am now at 33 is vastly different from who I was over a decade ago. I moved out at 22. Been living on my own for that time. The person I am today is a product of all I have seen and experienced. I lost the black and white lens through which I viewed the world, in that period of time.

And you know what? I do feel that these kids (cuz they are kids to me. I haven’t sat in a university class in almost 13 years 🤷🏾‍♀️), will grow, and learn and evolve. Boston I think will do fantastically well in New York. He will continue to come into his own. Will figure out what kind of relationships work best for him (both in regards to his friendships and his sexual and romantic—if he wants any—relationships), and he will thrive.

Mew will eventually get that stick out of his arse and get off his high horse. He will realize that people are messy, imperfect, and make mistakes, and that he too is flawed. And that is okay. That he doesn’t need to be burdened to replicate the perfect home life he had with his mothers. That hell, just because he fancies himself better than others, doesn’t mean that he isn’t as capable of the depraved things the human mind can conjure up 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Ray will probably battle with his addiction all his life. Will realize that battling addiction is a life-long process. Will lean on the support he has. Will probably learn to forgive his mum, and come to terms with her frailty as a human being, and what that meant with regards her suicide. He will also probably let himself admit that as much as he loved her, and wanted her to hold him and love him, he is justifiably angry at her that she did neither of those things, and then left him. He will probably confront his dad about the role he played, and didn’t play in all of this. He might decide to break up with Sand later. And they will still be good friends. Or Sand might be that ex he hasn’t spoken to in years, yet he still thinks of and smiles when he hears I Wanna Be Yours.

Same goes for Sand, and Top and Nick as well.

And who knows, at some point Cheum might realize that she can be quite the shitty friend. That she’s been a shitty friend. She might reach out to her now former friends, and honestly sincerely apologize. Or not. That’s another thing. Some people take forever to grow. And some don’t learn a lick from their experiences. And when time has passed and they looked back at all their burned bridges and try to reconnect, they are left with hands fluttering in the wind, and everyone they love out of reach 🤷🏾‍♀️.

But yeah. I don’t know about y’all. Maybe you were well adjusted uni students who were always right and knew the right words to say, and didn’t fuck up every other Saturday, and whose lives were peachy. But I was a dumbass, making dumbass choices, being a sanctimonious dumbass, and being an absolute menace. And that was how I watched the show. Knowing that this is a story of these kids, told to us by THESE kids. P’Jojo was just the conduit for their story. But it is ultimately THEIRS. I just watched it for them. Not for any moral lessons (this isn’t a parable or a fable. And I say this as someone who has been fascinated by mythology since I was 7), but to be entertained by the lives of these messy kids, crash-figuring their way to adulthood, and thanking the universe that my early 20s are way behind me, cuz fucking hell. That era of my life was some shit-show!

#only friends the series #ofts #only friends meta #only friends spoilers #only friends finale #only friends boston #only friends mew #only friends ray #only friends cheum

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gabatronnie · 10 days

Text

,, request prompts !!

these are for people who know they want to make a request but don’t have an exact plot and/or reader in mind!

fluff ~

1. “there it is, there’s that cute smile! i knew you had it in ya!”

2. “don’t worry, i’m staying, for as long as i need to.”

3. “PILLOW FIGHT.”

4. “is that my shirt?”

5. “i’m just glad you’re okay”

6. “just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”

7. “you’re a terrible influence.”

8. “i know we’re not… friends or anything. but if you just need to cry, i get it.”

9. “i don’t hate you.”

10. “you’re pretty -“ “pretty stupid”

11. “i’ll spend a thousand lifetimes coming back to you.”

12. “it’s cold, take my hand, my body heat can warm you up. y’know, cause i’m taller.” “hey!”

13. “you got me flowers?”

14. “ha! you fell on your ass!”

15. “they get annoyed about how often i talk about how much i love you”

16. “you fucking dumbass! just be careful, okay?! i’m kinda sick of worrying about your safety! i love you too much to think about it!”

17. “may i have this dance, my fair lady?”

18. “you look so good in my clothes”

19. “come back to bed”

20. “i love you, but that’s gonna get you killed. not literally though.” “then why can’t i do it?!”

21. “love, can you calmly and politely shut the actual fuck up?”

22. “your my mom loves me, let’s go make cookies.”

23. “thank you, for never giving up on me.”

24. “i think i’m in love!” “who’s the next victim, and how are you gonna torture them this time?”

25. “yeah, i have massive feelings for you, but moving on from that…”

26. “you took all the blankets, asshole. so now, you’re filling the gap, you ARE my blanket.”

27. “did y-you just…kiss me?”

28. “when we get home, you’re in big trouble, missy!” “i won’t in as a big trouble as your big ass, love.”

angst ~

1. “i’m sorry, i hurt you, i can’t promise perfect. but i can promise effort, hon.”

2. “please don’t leave me.”

3. “thank you, but our chapter has ended. but that doesn’t mean i don’t love you anymore.”

4. “let’s just become strangers again.”

5. “i hate you for what you did.”

6. “i’m not your problem anymore.”

7. “I don’t owe jackshit!”

8. “does it ever stop hurting? i mean the wounds on the inside, on your heart, on your soul, love.”

9. “make it stop, please baby. it hurts…”

10. “all you’ve ever done is hurt me.”

11. “you wanna hurt me? go ahead. i already know how it all feels. it doesn’t matter anymore, i’ve given up.”

12. “if you’re going down, so am i. there’s no happy life without you in it.”

13. “i hate knowing you’re hurt, please, tell me i can fix it. even if it’s only once.”

14. “i’m out of empathy for you! fuck you and your privileged ass!”

15. “we’re over.”

16. “everyone wants to hate me, why can’t you be different?”

17. “i don’t need you! why are you still here?!”

18. “just go away!!!”

19. “when will i ever be enough?!”

20. “i can’t look at the night sky anymore, it makes me think of him/her too much…”

21. “come back… please…”

22. “it’s okay, peace has been made, that’s all i wanted. now it’s my time.”

23. “hug me until my eyes pop up because i’ve been crying since four in the morning!”

24. “was it all a lie?”

25. “i’ve lost so much there’s nothing else left.”

26. “i’ll see you on the other side, dearest love.”

27. “i tried so hard to trust you! and i know it wasn’t for nothing! stop being so cross!”

28. “i should’ve trusted you, i’m sorry i didn’t.”

29. “i’m just mad, okay!? i’m beyond pissed i’ve ruined my only chance!”

smut ~

1. “never tease me like that again.”

2. “i’m not fucking done with you. bed. now.”

3. “i’m tearing that dress/suit off the moment we’re alone.”

4. “you’re a lot less quiet when i’m fucking the shit out of you.”

5. “and go, be a good girl and spread your legs, okay baby?”

6. “such a naughty little slut for me/us, adorable.”

7. “cover your mouth one more time, and we’re stopping. i wanna hear you.”

8. “b-but, i wanna see you too. don’t blindfold me, i-i wanna see your face.”

9. “look at you, you’re already shaking, it’s been less than a minute.

10. “crazy, naughty girl. who do you think you are?”

11. “keep your hands on me, don’t let go.”

12. “i’ve always thought of us kissing, but i never thought i’d actually fuck you.”

13. “i’m gonna touch you until you beg.”

14. “you’re more than a fling, my dear.”

15. “you’re so sensitive, i almost feel bad.” “am not!” “oh really? then how about you ride me until you fall to your knees?” “u-uhm…”

16. “you make such sexy noises, hot stuff.”

17. “keep acting up, i dare you.”

18. “fuck me senseless and pin me to the bed, i can’t wait any longer.”

19. “if you keep staring at me, we won’t get to make a baby. or six.” “h-huh?!”

20. “don’t be too loud, or else the others will hear.”

21. “listen to me, you little whore. you’re gonna do exactly what i tell you to.”

22. “i am this close to ripping those clothes off you myself.”

23. “you have ask first, sweetheart.”

24. “sorry, was i drooling? i just really want to bang you right now.”

25. “go on, i wanna see what your mouth can do.”

26. “lay it on me, or in me, but you get my point.”

27. “the outfits great, but i really wanna see you without it on.” “but you told me to buy it?” “i meant i wanted to see you naked.”

28. “i don’t care how good it feels, don’t cum until i say.”

29. “give me a baby. for two reasons, firstly, i wanna fuck you. secondly, i wanna bang you.” “that’s the same thing!” “no, it’s two different words.”

#{🎀} GABI’S REQUEST PROMPTS #request prompts #dialogue prompts #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel x y/n #sapphic blog #smut #fluff #angst

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breaniebree · 9 months

Text

SNEAK PEEK! Chapter 22 - The One with Rampara

When they arrived in the dungeons, Slughorn beamed at them. “Ah, my favourite Aurors! Come in, come in!”

Higgins closed the door of the potions room behind him and nodded at Borage. Libatious Borage and his wife, Lara, had rented a small cottage in Hogsmeade while they were staying to work with Slughorn. Borage and Slughorn had both agreed that rediscovering such an important potion meant that they had a lot of work to do and were writing a paper together on both how the potion worked and its historical use, as well as using it in a modern way. Borage had no plans of returning to Brazil until everything was wrapped up and Harry was grateful for the old man’s help.

“Good afternoon, Mr Borage, Professor,” Harry said.

“Ah, Horace is fine, Harry! I’m no longer a professor after all. I’m retired!” Slughorn exclaimed.

Harry only pursed his lips. He wasn’t quite sure he would be comfortable calling the man, Horace. “How are you two coming along with the potion?”

Borage rolled his shoulders back. “It has been a real challenge. I regret having to ask you for an audience with Fleamont, but rather unfortunately it turned out to be useful.”

Harry bit back a chuckle. Borage had sent him an owl asking if he could stop by to speak to his grandfather’s portrait, surprising Harry as he knew that the two men held a continued animosity towards each other. Borage and Fleamont had originally met over seventy years ago when his grandfather had invented Sleekeazy’s hair potion. A few months later, Borage published a book called “Have Yourself a Fiesta in a Bottle” which boasted its own haircare potion recipe. The potion wasn’t even remotely the same, but it started off a lifelong feud of friendship and animosity between the two men. They exchanged letters arguing over everything and almost never agreed on anything. Lara and Euphemia however did become close friends and often mocked their husbands both behind their backs and to their faces. Whenever Borage would publish a new book, Fleamont Potter would immediately read it cover to cover and then edit it, intentionally pointing out mistakes and different ways to brew potions and send it back to Borage.

Borage was well into his nineties now and still as sharp as ever. Harry knew that calling him in to help Slughorn with this had been the best decision he could have made. When he’d brought Borage and Slughorn over to Clevedon Court the other night to speak with Fleamont’s portrait, the two old men had been as amusing as ever.

“Hey, Pop,” Harry said, waking up the portrait hanging on the wall. “I brought some guests over who would like to speak with you about this potion that they’re working on.”

“Guests?” Fleamont demanded, his eyes wide. “I’m always willing to talk to guests about potions. As long as it’s not that damned — bloody hell!”

Borage smirked. “Good evening, Monty.”

“Lib.”

Slughorn chuckled. “Well, I for one am absolutely tickled, Mr Potter. Big fan of your work.”

“He’s a two-bit hack,” Borage spat.

Slughorn frowned. “Well, that’s not true at all, Libatious! After all, we’re coming to see him for advice.”

“Ha!” Fleamont exclaimed. “You need advice from a real Potioneer, do you? What did I tell you, Fee? Not as good as me, is he?”

Borage rolled his eyes. “Well, since you’re so good, Monty, perhaps you can help us with this. Horace and I have been working on a potion that’s come up in one of Harry’s cases as an Auror. It’s the Melanotaeniidae Reflection Potion that was lost centuries ago.”

Fleamont’s eyes widened in surprise. “Blimey! Are you sure?”

“Oh, quite sure, Mr Potter!” Slughorn said eagerly. “We brewed it ourselves and did every test possible to confirm it.”

Fleamont looked pensive. “What’s the concern then?”

“The time process,” Borage said. “Now that we’ve worked on the woman who was given the potion, we estimated roughly three months before the potion would officially wear off.”

Slughorn and Borage took turns to explain the potion to Fleamont from ingredients, down to brewing options, down to the steps they took to reach their conclusions. Harry got lost somewhere among the different variations of fish scales and freshness before he tuned in again when his grandfather spoke.

“Sounds to me like everything is right, Lib. But you’re forgetting one thing. If you really did all of that and got her heart beating once more, it’s not the Melanotaeniidae Reflection Potion that’s the problem. You need to break down the resurrection potion in more detail and compare it to the makings of the Melanotaeniidae Reflection Potion and see how it all interconnects. There could be side effects or things that clash between them. When you add in the use of runes, well… blood sacrifice is a tricky thing when it’s used in magic.”

“How so?” Harry asked, making Fleamont turn his attention onto him.

“Runes used in dark magic are different from regular runes and if they were built into an existing resurrection potion where a blood sacrifice was used and added to the use of the Melanotaeniidae Reflection Potion… it’s not so much the potions themselves that will be the problem as much as the blood sacrifice.”

Harry frowned. “What does that mean exactly?”

Borage ran a hand over his wrinkled face. “It means that we might have to start looking at potions connected to a blood ritual… there could be more we don’t understand there.”

“Wait, are you saying that there could be a potion that could help counter the sacrifice aspect of Zee’s condition?” Harry asked.

Fleamont shook his head. “Perhaps something that could help, but counter it… I wouldn’t bet on it, no.”

Slughorn, Borage, and Fleamont began to discuss the potions in more detail again. They spoke for more than hour, half of which involved Borage and Fleamont arguing as Slughorn watched in amazement. When Harry said goodnight to them he wasn’t sure the visit had really done much to help. Getting an owl from them the next day asking for a visit was definitely a hopeful sign.

“So, what do you have to share with us?” Higgins asked, bringing Harry out of his memory of the evening before.

#harry potter fanfiction #breanie #the world of asc #chapter sneak peek #the kismet trilogy #the kismet trilogy by breanie #third times the charm

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just-some-guy-joust · 1 year

Note

Tell us about Eden *holds up microphone to you*

Thank you all for indulging me I am going to yell about her so fucking hard <3 Same as my Amedeo rant, this one's LONG babey YIPPEE! This ended up being 34 fucking paragraphs!!!!

All art is by me, all links on character names lead to their toyhouse profiles

Content warnings: Unreality, toxic relationships, bad mental health

This is Eden! She/her, 20-22 years old (22 at time of Doomed By The Narrative), 5'1, a college student who's also in the college's gaming club! She's the best friend/sister of Aiden, another member of the club who's like super rich and inherited a fuckoff big manor from their parents (which I am mentioning exclusively for the context to explain the fact that the story is called In A Manor Of Speaking)

Eden is very very sweet and kind and energetic and fun. She's good vibes all around and she's friends with Everyone so hard. If you're familiar with my other OC I've shoved into one of my tournaments though, Amedeo, you... might know where this is going a little bit.

For a basic plot summary up until Eden has anything to do with anything, Aiden comes home one day with a demon, Viorel, who is VERY lost and confused and has no memory of how he got to the human world. They all pretty quickly discover Viorel is not the only demon coming through to the human world though. Vivian and Engel are hunting him down and don't believe him when he says he has no clue who they are. They send another demon after him to kill him, though it doesn't work well since he just befriends it and now it is also living in the manor having a good time. Afterwards, Amedeo, a member of the gamer club, starts acting... odd. He invites Aiden to hang out, and then they get kidnapped, Viorel having to go save them. It was only the first incident of many with Amedeo, and he slowly got worse, making everyone really uncomfortable and staying away from him.

Eden didn't want to sit by and watch this happen to her friend, so she tried asking it what was going on. It responded by attacking her, sending her on a trip to the hospital.

It was fine. It was ok. That was her fault, really. She should've known.

Amedeo was kicked out of the gamer club (she hadn't wanted that but she wasn't there to vote on it). Apparently he never went back to his apartment. Some time after his disappearance, Aiden died. She wasn't there when it happened. Viorel said it was Amedeo.

It was... it was fine. It was ok. It was awful. It hurt so much. Awful things kept happening to the people around her and she couldn't do anything about it. Her sibling was dead, it was getting so hard to breathe anymore.

It was fine. It was ok. Aiden... "survived" in a way. They came back as a ghost days later. Stuck in a computer, yeah, but they could still talk. They were still here. It wasn't fair of Eden to stay upset for long, not when Aiden was having the WORST time coping with their new form. So she puts on a smile and acts just like she did before. Everything's going to be alright. Even if she has to be the only one acting like it is.

More time passes. One day, she stares at the back window and finds... Amedeo. He's a mess. He looks like he's been hit with a truck, or like he's been sleeping under a bush the last several days. Frantically, Eden runs outside, chasing him down when he tries to run from her, and pulling him in for a hug. It was alright. It was going to be ok, she promised. How long has it been since you've eaten, do you need water, you can take a nap in one of the fancy beds, I promise I won't let Viorel hurt you I know you're worried, I missed you, I was worried about you, please come inside.

As time passed, things became comfortable again. Amedeo had really changed for the better and was trying so hard to make things right. Viorel built Aiden a new robotic body for them to haunt, and they were getting used to it well. The gamer club was getting back together. Eden, Viorel, and Aiden took a trip to the monster realm to learn more about Viorel's past after his sister showed up looking for him. Eden didn't... really understand what happened. Viorel was pretty upset, but she didn't know why. Just as always, she felt like she was missing something everyone else understood. This wasn't her story, after all. She was just there to smile and remind everyone it was going to be ok. She was a bright spot for them. She knew that. They returned to the human world, some new friends in tow, and things were back on track for a while.

It was fine. It was ok.

In the almost 2 years since all of this began, Reverie was the first person to ever ask her that.

Eden and Reverie begin hanging out a lot after that. Not just for the shoulder to cry on, they really do enjoy each others company. They got close, closer than Eden had ever felt with anyone. It felt... odd. She was having a really hard time naming her feelings for them. She cared about them but something was off. It was really hard to know what was nagging the back of her head. They kept bringing up weird existential ideas, never enough for a full conversation, but they really did have strange ideas about how the world functioned. She kind of liked it though. It was fun to consider the possibility. That maybe none of it was real. What a relief that could be...

"Hey. I want to show you something" Reverie told her one day. They guided her to a private room, making doubly sure no one was around. Confidently, they held out their hand. Above it, floating and glowing softly, was... a menu.

Save, load, quit, settings. A video game menu. Above their head, "player 2".

None of it was real.

Reverie is player 2 of the video game known as "In A Manor Of Speaking". They've played this game hundreds of times. Player 1... Viorel, had left them a long time ago, and has no memory of the nature of the world. So Reverie alone had been restarting the game over and over, trying to find a path that would let them finally beat the final boss and escape the game. If they could just win, they'd finally be able to leave and reenter the real world. 100% maxing out Eden's friendship level was one thing they still hadn't done, until now. They had a good feeling about this one. They were sure of it.

An NPC. That's all she was.

It made sense. She'd always felt that way. She wasn't even important to the plot. She knew it. Of course it'd take them this long to try maxing out her friendship, she was always just a background character. None of it was real. None of it mattered. She was doing such a good job of playing her role, wasn't she? A perfect side piece in a story that isn't hers.

She went along with it. Her odd feelings about Reverie made sense now, that wasn't fully her... she was programmed to feel that way. But she still cared about them. She still wanted to help. Shoving down all the thoughts, it felt so. Easy. To dedicate herself to their goal. She loved them, she cared about them, she hated them, she looked up to them. Something about them was magnetizing and she didn't want to leave. Of course. Of course she'd help. She knew now, that's what she was supposed to do. What a relief. None of it had ever mattered. It was a kind thought to her.

Now she was able to see the save points, the HP bars above peoples heads, sometimes she caught glimpses of dialogue boxes as Reverie spoke to people. They introduced her to someone very special that only the two of them could seem to see. Elysium. She was an AI made for the game to keep it running properly, and to rewrite bits of code, to expand the world they lived in. The game was always evolving because of her. Elysium acted rather cold and grumpy a lot of the time, but there was an undeniable warmth to her that Eden admired.

Knowing about the game was terrifying, but the time she spent with Elysium and Reverie... It was wonderful. She finally felt like she was somewhere she belonged. She never felt so special than when she was with them. It was fun, to be part of the game. It was the happiest she felt in a long time.

...Right?

She still didn't smile much anymore. Reverie dismissed her various concerns often, saying it was fine, she was an NPC, she wouldn't get it. There was always this look in their eye that gave her chills. Reverie would tell her to fight that monster, it's for the EXP. When she protested, they'd tell her, what's the problem? None of this is real. I'll probably have to reload anyways, so none of this will matter in the end. Reverie would get themself in dangerous situations over and over. When Eden was worried about them, Reverie never understood. If they died, they just come back, it wasn't a big deal.

They never really did look at her, or Elysium. Every movement they made felt scripted. Every word, carefully planned. None of it mattered, to them. If Eden was uncomfortable, what did it matter? She wasn't real. She wasn't real. She knew she wasn't real.

But it was fine. It was ok.

Months passed in a blur. Eden hadn't spent much time with her other friends the entire time. She wasn't even sure what they were up to. It didn't matter. They wouldn't have changed their actions if she tried. That was never her choice. But it didn't matter. It was time. Just her and Reverie, and the final boss.

As Reverie rambled about the plan, Eden silently stared down at her palms, as always. She was so... afraid. Worried. She wished she could just give herself some reassurance. ...And the game's menu silently popped up in her hands. It held Reverie's save. ...It wouldn't hurt, she thought. She pressed the save button. It gave her a little comfort.

It was so hard to focus she hardly noticed they were in the battle with Engel now. When had they...? It didn't matter. Reverie was shouting at her, and she snapped back into reality and joined the battle, sword in hand. Engel's blank eyes stared right past her, entirely focused on Reverie. Eden, took a step, and found herself behind them. Time seemed to slow. She didn't remember getting this close to them so quickly. But it was her chance. It was her time. She raised the sword, and brought it down.

Engel's head rolled to the floor, their body collapsing next to it. Reverie and Eden froze. Neither of them dared to breathe. Eden couldn't see anything but the blood on her sword. She nearly dropped it with how heavy it suddenly felt. But quickly Reverie's arms were around her. They picked her up, yelling in excitement, looking more happy than she had ever seen them. They smiled at her so genuinely, and everything melted away. That was all she wanted. She laughed too, the image of Engel's headless corpse disappearing from her mind, losing herself in the relief. It was all over.

The area around them faded to black and white, "THE END" appearing a few feet in front of Reverie. They dropped Eden, and ran towards it, reaching for the "quit" button. And then it was gone. The quit button disappeared right before they could hit it. Leaving only "Restart" and "Reload" beside where it had been.

Eden couldn't see Reverie's face from where she was, but she could feel the chill radiating from them. They were frozen place, the room silent. Then they laughed, something hollow and empty. Then louder, crazed and desperate. They collapsed to the floor, their laughs and sobs intermingling so well Eden couldn't tell the difference between them. She tried to reach out to them, but before she could reach them, she heard them speak.

"If I can't leave, then this world might as well rot."

A folder icon flashed above their now outstretched palm and they reached into it, crushing the code within. Eden immediately felt dizzy. The world began to crumble around them, glitching out in bright colors, awful noises emanating from the edges where nothing but void lay beyond. Eden could see flashes of other places, other people. The world was collapsing in on itself as Reverie laughed. It was so hard to think. It was so hard to be. Eden reached for her sword. It didn't want to stay in her grasp, but her resolve solidifying, she forced it in her hand.

Reverie turned toward her just in time for the blade to pierce their chest. They stopped, in shock, for a struggling heartbeat.

They laughed. They grabbed Eden's hands and pulled, plunging the sword farther through their back, and putting Eden's face closer to theirs. "Do you think this matters?" they taunted through wheezing breaths. "I'll just come back! I always have. I always will! This means NOTHING Eden!"

They stood there for what felt like eternity. Eden didn't know what to say and could barely even see them through the tears in her eyes. But slowly, slowly, Reverie's laugh trailed off. And their face betrayed a sudden hint of fear.

Nothing happened.

Nothing happened as their breath hitched again and their legs gave out, dropping them to the floor. Nothing happened as they coughed up blood weakly. Nothing happened. Their HP had already dropped to 0. It never took this long. Nothing happened. Frantically they opened the menu.

It was Eden's save. No, it was Reverie's. No... the names switched back and forth, never settling in place for long. "WHat did yoU DO?" they tried their best to shift their position despite the unbearable pain, looking for Eden. They spotted her in front of the "THE END" screen, processing what she was doing moments too late. She reloaded, and everything went black.

Through a painful haze of noise and color, Eden could hear Elysium's voice. "Do you see what you've done, Reverie?" "pl...ease..." "How the hell am I supposed to fix this?! Look around you Reverie! Look what you've DONE!" "ple.....please...pl... please" "I can only think of one way to fix this. I'm going to delete you. I hope you had fun in the time you were here."

"NO!" Eden screamed out. She didn't want this. But it was all she could do as she finally slipped into what could only be compared to unconsciousness.

She awoke who knows when on a couch in Elysium's room. After making sure she was ok, Elysium explained. She explained everything. Eden trying to reload a save she made when she wasn't even a player freaked out the game so bad, on top of the code Reverie had destroyed... it was a mess. Elysium had stabilized it. Reverie was... well, not really alive, but not really dead either. They were stuck somewhere in between, in the moment they would have died if they hadn't been a player who's supposed to reload if their save wasn't corrupted. But Elysium could fix it, she was sure she could.

Eden asked if this was how this was supposed to go. Elysium sighed, and said yes.

Eden's route in the game wasn't always like this. But Reverie had become so fixated on finding their exit and treating the world around them like nothing but a toy. Elysium hadn't known what else to do. So she rewrote the code, the story, she rearranged the narrative, so Eden would be learn about the game. So she would start to glitch out the system. So she could be invisible to Engel's eyes because she was glitching out so badly, so she could finally be the one to end the game. So Reverie would finally see there was nothing else. This world was all their was.

It was never about Eden.

None of it had ever had anything to do with her.

The narrative had been rewritten just for her. The months of pain. The horrible state Eden had found herself in, agreeing to Reverie's views of the world. That she was worthless. That she was nothing. That this world was a prison. All the sweet moments, all the comfort Eden had felt in those fleeting scenes. It was all for her. None of it was for her. It was always about Reverie. She was one more piece in this awful play.

Eden bid Elysium farewell, and went home.

#asks #doomed by the narrative showdown

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mcntsee · 11 months

Text

60 DIALOGUE PROMPTS!!

Alright, since I can’t seem to come up with anything good to write, I’ve decided to let an AI generate random dialogue prompts. If you are interested in any of them being part of a fanfic, please send an ask with said prompt. Also, if you have an idea of what you want me to do with the prompt, feel free to include it in the ask. Angst? Happy? Funny? Only writing for Kaz Brekker at the moment, but might do it again for more characters.

(I’ll be crossing out the ones that have already been done.)

1. "You make me feel like I'm not good enough."

2. "Am I supposed to be scared now?"

3. "Could you be happy here with me?"

4. "But this- this is the only thing that's made the last three years bearable."

5. "Perhaps you'll take me out one day - or do I have to make an appointment?"

6. "I've forgotten what it's like to feel young."

7. "She's been missing since Friday and you're not worried?"

8. "I daren't stay long. I just had to see you."

9. "It looks like you're in trouble there. Can I help?"

10. "He/she was unconscious when I found him/her”

11. "You came back!"

12. "You stand there and accuse me, but where were you at the time?"

13. "You were meant to be watching him/her!”

14. "I'll find her and bring her home, I promise."

15. "Have you read the newspaper stories about my wife?"

16. "Tell me what you saw, for her/his sake!"

17. "H-how long have you been standing there?"

18. "You haven't called me that in years."

19. She was beginning to realise how far down in his memory he’d buried his childhood

20. "I'm sorry if it upsets you, but I'm going to marry her."

21. "You did a bad thing for a good reason."

22. "If you do this, you will be dead to me."

23. "You have her/his eyes."

24. "I just want a nice, easy life. What's wrong with that?"

25. "You're paying a small price compared with what she's going through."

26. "Are you kidding me? We're not 'fine'!"

27. "What do you remember about your mother?"

28. "Where does a child hide in a town like this?"

29. "If only I'd just gone over when she called."

30. “If you’re not going to let me help, I’m not staying to watch you burn.”

31. “You shot me!” “Oh, don’t pretend to be surprised. It’s unbecoming.”

32. “We were friends.”

33. “You seem tired.”

34. “You talk like we’ve already lost.” “Look around you, dumbass! We already have!”

35. “Was I just not enough for you?”

36. “It’s easy to hate someone when you don’t look them in the eyes.”

37. “Ah, yes. I am delighted to exist as a pawn in your power-plays.”

38. “How am I supposed to go on?”

39. “Aren’t you tired? Can we stop this and give our hearts rest?”

40. “We started this together and we should end it together.”

41. “You bring the best out of me but I’m the worst for you.”

42. “What I mean is, I’m going to stop watering a dead flower, expecting it to grow again.”

43. “But you make me feel like home! You are my home.”

44. “I just need this one moment. This last one.”

45. “I was not ready to lose both a lover and a friend in one night.”

46. Because that’s all we are now, right? A memory, a faded picture, a failed potential.

47. “Please, just stay a little longer.”

48. “Am I going to die?”

49. “I know exactly how this ends.”

50. “You were never one of us.”

51. “I would’ve died for you.”

52. “You almost died! And for what?”

53. “If I leave now, I won’t come back.”

54. “Don’t look at me like that, I don’t want pity.”

55. “And then he left.”

56. “I wish I could fix this.”

57. “You hurt me and I still trusted you.”

58. “Can we have this conversation when you’re not upset.”

59. “You really were my first and last.”

60. “I hope you got what you wanted.”

#angst #fanfiction #six of crows fanfic #six of crows x reader #kazzle dazzle #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker

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fixfoxnox · 1 year

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Something In The Orange - Part 22

Description: KorTac and the 141 continue training together, Roach tries not to let his anger take over again.

Warnings: Discussion of SA/Dub-con

Note: I am also uploading this fic to my Ao3 if you would prefer to read it there!

Word Count: 9.2k

"Well, I've been going through it, damn near lost all my faith

I've been trying hard to get there, I just can't recall the way

I've been going crazy, think I might be too far gone

I ain't been worth much for saving now for more than way too long"

"Dreamer" - Drayton Farley

"Should we discuss what happened yesterday?"

Roach clenched his jaw, his hands tightening at his side as he looked away from the woman in front of him. Rage bubbled back up in his chest. He should have known that Price would tell the woman about his behavior the previous day.

"There's nothing to talk about," he snapped slightly, shifting in his seat.

The woman tilted her head at him, "That isn't what I heard. I heard that you snapped at your team members and cursed at one of KorTac's men." She was quiet for a moment before adding, “That doesn’t seem like something you would normally do.”

"He deserved it," Roach responded lowly. Quiet settled over the room again, Roach hoped that the woman would leave the conversation at that, but he knew better than to believe that it would happen. His behavior yesterday was too violent. He knew that he couldn’t get away with it, not without questions.

"You seem frustrated with your team," the woman tilted her head at him, watching him closely. "I wonder why that is?"

"Not frustrated with the team," Roach lied quickly. From the look the woman gave him, he assumed she didn't believe his words. He decided to change the subject himself, "I made a friend. On KorTac, like you told me to."

"Oh?"

"His name's Konig," he spoke quickly, turning away from the woman to look out the window carefully. "We were training together yesterday, away from the rest of the team. They came over and the one guy was being a dick, that's why I got mad. That's all." He paused before adding more, feeling the need to continue justifying his behavior, “Konig is anxious and I’d finally gotten him to come out of his shell a bit. Then this guy came over and it was like he shrunk back in on himself. I didn’t like it.”

The woman gave a slow nod, "That's the only reason?" Her words were carefully spoken, "Frankly, Sergeant Sanderson, I don't believe that for a second." She flipped through her notes for a moment, "I understand you mentioned that your team hadn't even noticed your appearance in the gym. Captain Price informed me that your team had been caught up in training with KorTac, that you never came over to make yourself known to them." Roach gave a huff, slumping down into the seat to try to make himself smaller.

He really hadn’t expected Captain Price to tell his therapist so much about what had happened. It made sense. Price had been watching him closely since they’d gotten him back from Makarov. He knew the man was worried. He knew that the man was the one who’d insisted that he not be let back into the field until a therapist checked off on it. He knew that he had no right to be so mad at him. Yet, he still was. “Okay,” he started hesitantly, “That’s true, but still.”

The woman folded her hands in front of her patiently, "You expressed your worry about your team and KorTac not getting along the last time we had a session. Has that changed?"

Roach shifted in his seat. This woman had to be a witch of some sort. She always seemed like she'd peered into his mind and read his thoughts aloud. He stayed quiet for several moments. His mind couldn't seem to formulate words and it was ramping his frustration up to a new level. "It's just," he gave a deep sigh before trying again, "I want them to get along but," his breathing picked up. He tried again, growing more frustrated with himself, "It's so stupid, I know it is, I just,” he gave a small growl before banging his fist on his leg.

"Pause," the woman looked at him, "let's take a deep breath. You're getting frustrated, its impacting your thought process. Take a few moments." She watched him taking in several deep breaths. They sat quietly for several moments as Roach tried to calm himself down. He managed to quiet his frustration, but anxiety jumped up in its place. He felt so stupid. "Try again," the woman spoke kindly.

"It's so stupid," Roach started, his words slow, "I wanted them to get along. I want them to get along," he stressed the words carefully, picking at the skin around his fingers once again. "But the other day, I got back from my session and I found out that they'd gone to dinner together." He shook his head carefully, "which is fine! Its perfectly fine! Great even!"

"But?"

"But," Roach deflated slowly, "I only found out about it because someone on base told me. None of them sent me a message, none of them mentioned it. They just…went out with these guys that they hadn't even wanted to work with." He was started to feel frustrated again, his voice moved faster and his words grew steadily in volume. "Then! Then the next morning I find out that apparently, they'd gone out to a bar afterward! They went to a fucking bar and did Karaoke! Fucking Karaoke!" He leaned forward in his seat, his leg bouncing up and down rapidly. "And I know I wanted them to get along, I know I was worried that they would hate each other. So I should be happy, right? I should be so happy that they decided they liked each other enough to go do fucking Karaoke! But I'm not happy! No one told me, no one told me and they didn't even fucking notice when I stepped into the gym. Soap and Ghost didn't say a fucking word to me! I slept in a completely different room and they didn't even notice! Can you believe that! They came to my door last night to try to make up or some shit and they asked me to come back to the room with them, said I didn't have to sleep by myself!" He squirmed in his seat, rage building up in his system again. He wanted to hit something at the memory.

He'd come back to his room from a long run around the base the previous night. It was late, he knew that, but his anger had only recently settled enough for him to return to his room. He’d showered, dressed in a pair of soft pajamas, and crawled under the covers of his bed to, no doubt, lay silently for several hours in an attempt to go to sleep.

He'd laid there in the dark for maybe an hour when the knock came to his door. He'd peeled himself from the bed, assuming it was Gaz or Price on the other side. Instead he'd opened it to see a rather nervous looking Soap and Ghost. He'd been on edge immediately.

Soap was the one to speak, his voice soft, "Hey, bug. Listen we know you were mad earlier and you might still be mad," he made no apologies, it was clear to Roach that the men in front of him still had no idea where his rage had come from. His hand had tightened its grip against his doorframe. "But you don't have to sleep in here. Come back to the room with us."

Roach stood there for a moment, looking at them. They didn’t know why he was mad. He didn’t feel like he had a right to be mad. It all felt so stupid. But, as he looked at their sheepish faces, he could feel that familiar anger rise up again. It would be better for them all if he just stayed by himself for another night.

"No," he'd landed on finally. The words from Soap's journal still echoed around in his head. The events of the day still simmered in his veins. He needed space from the two. He felt guilty. He felt angry. He didn't want to say something he didn't mean.

"Bug," Ghost spoke softly, even through his mask Roach could see the pleading look, "Please. Come to bed with us."

Roach shook his head, "I need space. I'm going to sleep in here again," he paused, "we can try tomorrow." He added the words quietly to the end. He didn't want to be mad at the two men in front of him. He loved them. It wasn't their fault that his mind was tearing itself apart. It wasn't their fault that he'd read Soap's journal.

There was a quiet pause between them. Soap and Ghost shared a brief look with one another before Soap was turning back to him hesitantly, "Again?"

Roach froze. What did he mean, again? Did they? Had they? His hands grew shaky, "I didn't sleep in the room last night," his voice was quiet, "You two knew that. Right?"

Guilt flashed across Soap's face and in Ghost’s eyes. Roach felt like he might throw up. He gripped the door tighter. "We got in late from the bar," Soap tried to explain quickly, "We were tired, a little drunk. We just thought you hadn't gone to bed yet. We thought you'd already woken up and left this morning when we finally woke up."

Roach had felt numb. He didn't say anything to the two men, he just stepped out of the doorway and closed his door in their faces, locking it behind him. He'd stumbled back to bed as knocks hit his door and the voices of the two men he loved rang out behind him. The men he loved hadn't even noticed his absence. He'd had the worst sleep of his life without them, and they'd apparently slept like babies, completely unaware that he wasn’t there.

The knocks and calls continued for an hour before they finally stopped. Before the two men finally gave up. Roach hadn’t been sure if that made him relax more or angered him further.

He came back to himself, his jaw tightened, his fist clenched, "They told me they'd gotten in late, thought I just hadn't come to bed yet. They thought I'd gotten up before them and left. It took me hours to go to sleep, hours because I wasn't with them and they slept like babies! Perfectly fine without me there! And it shouldn't bother me, it really shouldn't! What happened in the gym yesterday shouldn't have bothered me but I just got so fucking angry, so fucking angry because they didn't even notice! They didn't even notice. They're getting along with these guys which is so great, so great and I shouldn't be angry because they didn't know! They didn't know but its so frustrating because I was fucking spiraling. I was losing my mind and tearing myself apart and they were out doing fucking Karaoke!" He stopped himself, realizing suddenly what he'd said. He looked up nervously at the woman across from him. Her face gave nothing away.

Silence hung over the room for several moments. Roach tucked into himself, burying his face in his hands as tears threatened to well up in his eyes. "You had a break?" The woman finally spoke, her voice quiet, "Tell me."

Roach was quiet. After several moments, he managed to croak out, "I had a panic attack." He could hear the intake of breath from the woman across from him.

Things were silent again. "What brought this one on?"

Roach shook his head. He couldn't tell. He felt too guilty.

He’d looked through Soap’s journal. He’d taken a peek inside the mind of one of the men that he loved. He’d gotten a look at how much he’d hurt him. He’d gotten a look at how they saw him, at how they’d viewed him while he was with Makarov. He’d been reminded of what he was, of all that he could be. He’d been reminded of how they’d see him. How they’d treat him if they knew.

Makarov was dead, and yet, he was still nothing more than a dog on a leash for the man. He was still being dragged around, twisted, turned, and touched exactly how the other man wanted him to be. Makarov was dead, but he still haunted him.

“Sergeant Sanderson,” the woman’s voice was still soft, “Remember what we discussed. I am not here to judge you. I am only here to help. Tell me.”

Roach hesitated for another moment, he didn’t want to move. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. He felt ridiculous. It was all far too overwhelming for him. This woman said she wouldn’t judge him, but she didn’t know what he’d done. Didn’t know what he’d seen. They’d been discussing it, but they’d only just finished talking about what he’d seen at that church in Brazil. How could she possibly understand? How could she possibly keep from judging him?

He didn’t want to tell her, but he needed to get it off of his chest. “Soap, he keeps a journal. He uses it as a sketchbook. When I got back to the room after our last session, he wasn’t there and the journal was on the table.” He looked up at her, his eyes wide and pleading as he rushed to say, “I only meant to look at his drawings! He’s shown me some before, so I thought it would be fine!”

“What did you see?” The woman leaned forward in her seat, pressing him to continue with that fixed neutrality on her face.

Roach brought his hand up to rub as his face, trying desperately to get rid of the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. “I guess he started it just a few weeks before everything with Makarov happened. There were some drawings, scratched out. I didn’t realize until a few pages in that the drawings he’d scratched out had been of me.” His voice cracked a bit at the end, he pressed forward. “I turned to a page where he’d written something out, I couldn’t stop myself. I just started reading it. It was about me, when he still thought I was a traitor.”

The woman across from him took in a breath. It was the only reaction that his words drew from her. She leaned back in her seat for a moment, as though thinking. “What did he say? What was it that brought on the panic attack?”

Roach shook his head, leaning down to bury his head in his knees. He took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself as he grew dizzy once again. As those same words and feelings from days before started flashing across his mind again. “All sorts of things,” he commented quietly, “Terrible things.”

“Something is sticking with you though,” the woman guessed, “Something specific?”

“He,” Roach felt tears slicking his arms, he didn’t even realize he’d started crying, “Apparently Ghost told them about my fiance, the one who died.” He could only assume that the woman already knew about the story with his “fiance.” Assume that it had been included in the reports she’d been give. “He said that he assumed i’d been with Makarov the entire time, been following him like,” he hesitated, not wanting to say the words that had been plaguing his mind out loud, “like a dog on a leash.”

There was quiet, the woman allowed Roach to have a moment. He tried to wipe at his tears, tried to push down the anger and frustration that dared to bubble up in his system. “I understand,” the woman started slowly, “That the man who stabbed you described you as Makarov’s dog. Were there other instances? Other times that someone described you similarly?”

It was as though the question opened up the floodgates of his mind. Roach’s mouth worked fast, ranting over every instance that had stuck in his mind, every moment when Makarov or someone else had referred to him like he was an animal. He mentioned his own thoughts, how he’d taken to describing himself in that way as well. How he’d asked Ghost the previous day if he planned to muzzle him. How he’d felt like an animal. How he did feel like an animal, an animal with a leash still held firmly in the hands of a dead man. Finally, he stopped.

There was silence. The woman watched him carefully, likely tossing his words over in her mind. Finally, she spoke, “It seems to me, like you are currently dealing with a great deal of self-hatred.” She pushed herself up further in her seat, her voice calm as she continued. “Your, she paused, “relationship with Vladimir Makarov seems to have taken a greater toll on you than you probably realize. This line of thinking is something that often presents itself in victims of sexual assault.”

Roach stopped, looking up at her with wary eyes, “I wasn’t, I’m not,” he stopped to take a breath, “We didn’t ever do anything like that. The furthest things went were kisses, touches. And I let him do those things,” he added, his voice cracking, “I consented.”

“You allowed those things to happen because you felt like you had to do it to survive,” the woman shook her head at him. “That is not true consent. You did not want those things to happen. Whether things ever went further than a kiss or a touch doesn’t matter. You were assaulted.” She looked at him carefully, “It’s important that you recognize that. That you recognize that you are a victim.”

“I don’t want to be,” Roach muttered quietly. “It was my choice. I let it happen.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t want it to happen,” she folded her hands against her stomach. “We should start working on shifting our mindset. You seem to be stuck in this idea that what happened to you was your fault. It was not. You need to recognize that. Challenge those thoughts that say otherwise.” There was a pause, the woman watched his expression for a moment before adding, “I think it would be good for you to share this information with your team.”

“What?” Roach felt sick at the idea. One of his hands came up to his throat, holding his neck lightly as the idea of telling his team what he’d done rang around his head. He knew they would find out eventually, he didn’t want to be the one to tell them.

“I know it seems scary,” the woman started softly, “But I get the impression that a lot of your worries right now are about your team holding this information against you. About them viewing you as,” she shook her head slowly, “as though you betrayed them. Cheated on them. Especially Sergeant MacTavish and Lieutenant Riley. It seems a great deal of your worries lie with them.”

“They’ll hate me,” Roach spoke quietly. Tears began to fall from the corner of his eyes again, rolling down his face as he imagined their disgusted reactions.

“I don’t believe that,” the woman answered quietly, “I’ve read their reports. I’ve read their statements. They care about you quite a bit. Love you, even. If you tell them, you will no longer have to fight with that part of your mind that seems to be causing all of this. That’s one less worry and the two might be able to help you shift that mindset that you have. They could help you understand that what happened was not your fault.”

“I just,” Roach covered his mouth, staring at the ground for a moment as tears continued down his face, “I’m just scared. They’re going to hate me.”

“Think about what happened with your mother,” his therapist offered, “You pushed off telling your family and they eventually found out. Things turned out okay, but you felt ambushed at the moment. It’s better for you to tell them on your own terms. You control the time, you control the setting.” She gave him a small smile, “That should help with some of the anxiety. I’ll even offer to be present when you tell them if you’d like. You can bring them with you to a session.”

“I don’t know,” Roach replied lowly, biting at his lip violently. He could taste blood in his mouth.

“At least think about it,” his therapist nodded her head at him, “You can tell me what you’ve decided on later. We can talk about it more if you’d like. Just think about it and try not to listen to that part of your brain that’s telling you that they would hate you. That part of you doesn’t know if that would happen, so why should you listen to it?”

Roach had to physically stop himself from just going back to his room after his session.

He felt absolutely exhausted after the discussion with his therapist. He knew it was because of all of the emotional stress that their conversation had on him. He also knew that stress was likely still sapping his energy, the thought of potentially telling his team about what had happened to him kept ringing around in his mind. He still didn’t want to face any of them. He didn’t want to deal with the thoughts their presence would bring up.

There were two things that kept him from just going straight to his room. The first was that he was unbelievably hungry.

He hadn’t eaten much the previous day. He’d slept past breakfast, only woken by Gaz knocking at his door to inform him about training. His lunch had been minimal, nothing more than a small bag of chips and an apple before he was off to training. He’d skipped dinner entirely, too distracted by his anger to stop and eat anything.

It was no surprise to him that he’d woken up with hunger pains and a major headache that morning. He knew he’d been eating less in general recently, all of the sudden changes ruining his appetite, but he’d never gone so long without eating before. He was starving now and, more than anything, he wanted comfort food. He thought about home, about his mother’s hashbrown casserole and chicken. He knew when he’d caught himself drooling at the thought of the food that he was certainly too hungry.

The second thing that kept him from returning to his room was his promise to Konig that they would train together again that day. The thought of his new friend made his nerves settle a bit. His therapist had certainly been right when she said that making a friend outside of the team could help with some of his anxiety. He didn’t have to be alone while his mind was trying to sabotage itself, and that was a big enough help on its own.

He’d checked his time after leaving his therapist's office, noting with a sigh of relief that they’d finished with enough time for him to still make it to the cafeteria for lunch. He hadn’t told his therapist he hadn’t eaten anything. He really didn’t need her adding it to her notes. After all, at the rate he was going, he wouldn’t be allowed back in the field for months. He felt like he was progressing backward. It wasn’t comforting.

He didn’t bother to observe the cafeteria as he made his way inside, instead rushing over to get his food, his mind set on eating and eating only. It was only after he’d turned around that he realized that there were eyes on him.

He easily spotted the members of the 141, sitting at the same table as the three members of KorTac from the previous days. He could see that Soap and Ghost were watching him, their eyes carefully tracking his movement. Soap attempted to give him a half smile, waving for him to come over to their group. Roach only turned away, anxiety creeping up his throat and guilt once again gnawing at his chest.

He found that his appetite seemed to have waned a bit at the sight of the group. He didn’t think he could get anything down when his nerves were overwhelming him so much that he felt he might spill what little food was left in his system.

He scanned around the cafeteria, looking for any open tables where he could settle himself. He had a very clear plan in his mind. He would eat his food as quickly as possible, go back to his room to change into something more appropriate for training, then find Konig. That plan changed a bit when his eyes locked on to a tall figure, their face obscured by a sniper hood.

Even with the hood on, Roach was able to tell immediately that the figure was Konig. He was sitting at a table by himself, slumped over his food. The sniper hood was pulled up just enough that he could eat through it. Roach didn’t hesitate before beginning toward him, practically tossing his tray down as he slid into the seat across from him.

Konig jumped a bit at the noise, looking up startled. His surprised expression was clear to see, even through his hood. Though Roach noted, maybe it wasn’t clear. Maybe he could only tell because he’d spent so long reading Ghost’s expressions through a mask. He nearly tilted his head to look over his shoulder at where the 141 were at the thought, but he quickly stopped himself.

He gave Konig a bright grin as he picked up the fork to start picking at his food, “Hope you don’t mind me joining you?”

“Ah, Roach,” Konig seemed to relax once he realized it was him and Roach could see a smile tug at his lips from where the hood was pulled up, “Not at all. I was going to come to find you soon. To see if you still wanted to train.”

“Course I still want to train.” Roach softened his smile a bit and tilted his head before teasing, “If you’re alright with me pinning you to the mat again?”

Konig gave a small snort at the words, “We’ll see, Schabe.”

A comfortable silence settled between the two for a moment as Konig continued through his meal and Roach dug into his own, probably eating a bit faster than what was considered appropriate. As he’d calmed down in Konig’s presence, his appetite returned and he found himself finishing his plate within a few minutes. He let out an annoyed groan as he realized that he was still hungry.

He put his fork in his mouth, sucking on it gently as he considered what to do. Across from him, Konig raised an eyebrow at him, his eyes glancing down at his empty plate before back up to him. “Sorry,” Roach offered with an embarrassed huff, “I didn’t really eat anything yesterday, or the day before that.” He brought his hand up to rub at the back of his neck sheepishly, “Needless to say, I was starving.”

Konig pointed down at his own plate slowly, “Do you want some of my food?”

Roach shook his head rapidly, absolutely mortified that his new friend was offering up his own food to him. Perhaps it was that southerner in him, but the idea of letting his friend go even slightly hungry because of him was not a fun one. Konig was a big guy, there was no doubt in his mind that the other man would need that food or else he would go hungry. “No, no,” he held his hands out, “Thank you for offering, but I was thinking more like figuring out if I could sneak into the kitchen or raid one of the vending machines.”

Konig lowered his hand then, a rumbling chuckle escaping his throat, “The vending machine is probably best. I’ve not been here long, but the kitchen staff seem terrifying.”

Roach gave a small chuckle in return, “You aren’t wrong. I’ve seen recruits get some harsh slaps on the hands with spatulas for trying to snatch up more food than they’re meant to.” Roach ran a hand through his hair, “Guess it shows how desperate I am that I’d even consider trying it.”

Roach tensed slightly, his guard raised as people slid into the seats around him. “And what are you so desperate for, Bug?” The words were spoken carefully by Soap, whispered just lightly into his ear and, no matter his current anxiety around the man, he couldn’t stop the shiver that wracked down his spine or the way that he went warm when Ghost placed a hand gently on his thigh.

“Hope you don’t mind us joining the two of you,” the words were spoken by Price, mumbled around a cigar as he plopped down next to Konig. On Konig’s other side was the KorTac member who wore the glasses and face mask, “We thought it might be best that we include the whole team in bonding.”

Roach almost gave a snort at the word bonding, almost. He felt completely caught off guard by the group's sudden appearance at the table and it was almost like his brain wasn’t sure how to react to their sudden presence. There was anxiety, naturally, but there was also a part of him that wanted to sit content at the sudden presence of Soap and Ghost on either side of him. He really didn’t like being mad at them.

Silence settled over the table for several moments. Roach noted how tense Konig had gone at the presence of others at the table, it was clear to him that the taller man wasn’t even comfortable around his own teammates. He cleared his throat, leaning forward for a moment to try to continue his conversation with Konig. He was hoping that they might be able to forget the men that were sitting around them.

“Konig, are you a sniper?” He tilted his head at the man, trying to ignore the way that Ghost’s hand on his leg tightened just a bit. A moment after he asked the question and Soap’s hand landed on his other thigh.

Konig shifted nervously in his seat, but he responded quickly, “Ah, no.” He slumped in on himself slightly, “They told me I was too big. I work as an insertion specialist.”

“That’s stupid,” Roach responded lightly, “No one is “too big” to be a sniper. Size doesn’t matter, just how stealthy you can be.”

Konig gave a slight shrug of his shoulders, “I’m good at what I do, so I suppose it doesn’t matter much.” He seemed to hesitate for a moment before asking, “Do you specialize in anything? I know your team are counterterrorist?”

“He’s a weapons expert,” Ghost responded for him, his voice deep. “Good with any gun you put in his hand.”

There was a snort from the same redhead from yesterday. Roach could immediately feel that delicate balance in his mind begin to tip toward the side of anger, “So he’s not a specialist then? Cause I’m sure most of us could be good with any weapon put in our hand.”

Roach took a deep breath, trying to ignore the man as he looked at Konig and responded, “We’re all just kinda rounded out on what we do.” He shrugged his shoulders, “I’ve done a lot of things in my time on the team. Weapons, demolitions, repelling, snipers,” he hesitated for a moment before adding, “undercover work.”

He could feel the two men beside him tense. Silence fell over the table again, like no one quite knew what to say. Finally, the woman broke the silence with a question, “When did you and Konig meet?”

Roach tilted his head at her, “Yesterday in the gym, why?”

She shrugged her shoulders, “No reason. The two of you just seem,” she hesitated, as though trying to find the right word, “Close.”

“What does that mean?” Roach raised an eyebrow at her, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the current line of questioning.

“She wants to know if you’re trying something with our boy Konig here,” The redhead gave him a cheeky grin and Roach immediately felt his hackles raise up.

“What?” he asked lowly. He could feel Soap and Ghost shift in their seats next to him. He could suddenly see things quite clearly. He could understand why this line of questions had come through. They hadn’t told the KorTac members that they were together.

It wouldn’t have bothered him normally. Normally his mind would come to a satisfying stop in front of the conclusion that they simply hadn’t told to protect their privacy. Ghost could be a very private person. He preferred to keep his personal life separate from work, which was why he wore the mask. The same could be said for Soap. While he was much more willing to at least speak on the issue, work was usually work.

So, normally, someone assuming that he was single wouldn’t have been an issue for him. Normally, Ghost and Soap not telling someone that they were together wouldn’t have been an issue for him. That was all in a normal situation. This wasn’t normal. Because, while he’d seen the groups train together the previous day, he’d seen Ghost and Soap acting their normal selves. He’d seen their hands link together lightly. He’d seen Soap pop up to give Ghost a kiss on the cheek. He’d heard about how the two had been rather clingy with one another at the bar two nights ago.

He knew that the members of KorTac knew about Ghost and Soap’s relationship. He would have thought, that because of that, the two would have also explained that he was in the relationship. However, with the next line out of the red-haired man’s mouth, he knew for a fact that they hadn’t.

The red-haired man slapped a hand roughly on Konig’s shoulder, a mischievous grin on his face as he spoke, “Oh c’mon, we just want to know if you’re trying to take a ride on our Austrian friend here,” he gave a slight snicker, “though you might be too short for it.”

Roach stood from the table abruptly, grabbing his tray as he went. He didn’t say a word as he left the table, taking his tray up to the little area for dirty dishes. He silently made his way back toward the group, stopping at the edge of the table and fixing his gaze on Konig alone. He was trying very hard not to let his anger overtake him again, but it was quite difficult.

His nails dug into the palm of his hands as he spoke to the man, “Konig, I’ll be in the gym whenever you’re ready for training. You can just meet me where we were yesterday. Sound good?”

Konig nodded to him slightly, an apologetic look lingering in his eyes as he spoke, “Of course, Schabe.”

Roach turned then, ignoring everyone else at the table before marching out of the room, hearing the voice of the redhead behind him say, “What? What did I say?”

Roach was in the gym, doing some simple stretches when Konig arrived. Much to his annoyance, he was followed by the other members of KorTac as well as the other members of the 141.

Roach turned to face them with a raised eyebrow, annoyance slipping into his veins from where he’d just recently managed to calm himself down. He was still pissed at Soap and Ghost, but he liked to think he hid it fairly well as he looked to Price. He crossed his arms across his chest, “Let me guess? More bonding?”

“We’re meant to be training together anyways,” Price responded easily, “Better for you and Konig if you don’t just train with one another. Though the two of you are welcome to start if you’d like.” He motioned to the mat that he was standing on.

“Ah, so we can watch short stack put our giant on the floor? Sounds entertaining.”

Roach turned to face the red-haired man, an all too innocent smile crossing his face as he looked at him. He glanced at Price and he knew that the other man was aware of what he was thinking, but he couldn’t quite do anything other than shoot him a disapproving glare.

If Price was going to insist that they all trained together, then Roach was going to use it to his advantage, “Actually, why don’t you and I spar first?” He faced the man carefully.

“You and I,” The red-haired man gave a small snicker, “Might get hurt there, friend.”

“If you’re so confident,” Roach glanced back at Konig, noting the amusement in the man’s eyes, “Then step onto the mat.” He stepped back challengingly, motioning to the other side of the mat. He could hear the man with the mask and sunglasses snickering as well, but Roach wasn’t sure if he was laughing at him or his teammate.

“Just gonna take that Declan?” The woman teased the man with a grin, “Go on, get onto the mat. Put your money where your mouth is.”

“Alright, alright,” The man, Declan, mumbled. He stepped up onto the mat, removing his shoes as he walked. He didn’t bother stretching, only moved quickly into a defensive position, “Don’t say I didn’t try to warn you though.”

Roach raised an eyebrow at him before carefully moving into position to start. The two men waited patiently, watching the other before Price called, “Alright, start.”

Declan rushed forward immediately, likely assuming that his strength and height over Roach would give him the advantage. Roach hardly put in any effort as he sidestepped the man and kicked his leg out to sweep his feet out from under him. Declan went tumbling to the ground and Roach followed quickly after, moving into a tough hold that he knew wouldn’t be easy to get out of.

Declan struggled against his hold for about three minutes before the woman called out to him, “This is getting pathetic Conor, just tap already!”

“Shut it, Roze!” He called back to the woman, frustration clear on his face as Roach tightened his hold on him further, trying to get either the man under him or Price to call the match in his favor. Another minute or so went by before, finally, the man called, “Alright, fuckin- fine! Just get off of me. I tap!”

Roach gave a grin at the words before releasing his hold on the man and quickly pushing himself to stand up. He held his hand out to help the man good-naturedly, though he knew that just beating him in a sparring session once wasn’t going to change the fact that he didn’t quite like him. Declan let out several grumbles but took Roach’s offered hand anyway.

“Still think Roach is just a short stack?” Gaz called out to the man playfully.

“Yes,” Declan gave him a grin, “But a strong short stack. I’ll give him that.”

Roach rolled his eyes at the man before silently moving off of the mat to allow another pairing a turn. He avoided where Soap and Ghost stood in favor of moving off to stand by Konig, nudging his arm lightly to get his attention and shoot him a smile.

Konig had taken his sniper hood off, likely for training. It was clear for Roach to see that the man was uncomfortable without the material, but Roach could only assume that it was some sort of rule he had for himself that made him go without it. Perhaps his mask was about privacy, but perhaps it was also about fear. It would make sense that he wouldn’t want to train with it if it was meant to scare the shit out of his opponents. He likely wouldn’t want his own teammates to see him like that.

“That was good,” Konig muttered to him with a small smile, “Felt good to put him in his place?”

Roach gave a toothy grin at the words, “You have no idea.”

He turned to the mat, watching as the man with the face mask stepped up to the mat with Soap. Roach realized suddenly that this was the only member of KorTac’s team whose name he hadn’t gotten. He watched the beginning of the two’s sparring session, noting their different fighting styles.

The man with the mask was extremely quick in his approach, quick and precise. Unfortunately for him, Soap was fast as well, but his reflexes were even faster. His boyfriend typically relied on strength and brutality when it came to hand-to-hand, but he was rather good at adapting to whoever he was fighting against. It made for a relatively interesting and even match-up between the two men.

He leaned close to Konig as he watched, “I’ve got the other two’s names, who’s the one in the mask?”

“Horangi,” Konig whispered back, his face taking on a slightly pinched expression as he watched the fight. It was almost like he was worried for his teammate as Soap began quickly gaining ground on him. “He’s nice. We don’t speak often, but I know he is good at what he does.”

Roach gave a slight nod at his words, watching with interest as the fight wound down, Soap managing to finally capture Horangi in a tight chokehold. After a few moments in the hold, Horangi tapped on Soap’s arm, signaling his defeat.

The next fight was between Gaz and the woman, Roze. He was pleasantly surprised with her efficiency in a fight, it was almost impressive how quickly she’d managed to put Gaz on the defense then, after a few moments, how quickly she’d managed to pin him to the mat, her thighs around his head.

Gaz tapped as Declan let out a wolf whistle, “Bet you enjoyed that, eh boy?”

Gaz gave him an unimpressed look as he pushed himself from the ground, “Two words, Gay and Taken.”

Roach had to force himself to suppress a snicker and that cheeky part of his brain that wanted to call out that Gaz had actually said three words. He wasn’t exactly mad at Gaz, but he wasn’t going to be so cruel to Soap and Ghost as to interact playfully with everyone but them. He let out a small sigh at the thought, upset at himself for being upset.

His brain took to reminding him that he didn’t exactly have a right to be mad, not when he was keeping what he was from them. Not when he had betrayed them. But, his brain did offer, that he was at least doing the right thing by staying away from them. A form of self-punishment. Removing the problem before he could infect the two men that he loved.

Konig silently stepped up to the mat next, catching the attention of everyone as he turned back to Roach with a raised eyebrow, nervousness clear in his voice as he asked, “Partner with me, Schabe?”

Roach had to suppress a shudder at the words. He was sure that Konig hadn’t meant for it to come out like a proposition, but with the way that his voice was slightly shaking as he spoke and the way that his eyes had quickly turned pleading from anxiety, it certainly sounded like one.

Roach wasn’t blind. He was in love with Soap and Ghost, they were the only men for him. But, he wasn’t blind. Konig was a very attractive man. A very very attractive man. And Roach was gay, with a slight thing for men who were taller and bulkier than him. So, while he was very in love with Soap and Ghost and, no matter how mad he was at the two, he would never betray them like that, at least not again, he was also a human being, who was bound to have a reaction to the man in front of him.

He could feel the way that he flushed. He could feel the heat rise from his chest and up his throat to his face and the tips of his ears. He mentally cursed himself for the reaction, ranting and raving in his head about needing to have better self-control.

He glanced toward Soap and Ghost as he stepped up to the mat, trying not to wince at the downright murderous looks on their faces. His boyfriends were naturally jealous men. He knew this. Combine that with the fact that he’d essentially put them in the dog house for the past several days, and he could practically see the steam leaving their ears as they watched him approach the gentle Austrian Giant who he’d managed to befriend.

He had to force himself to tear his gaze away from the two men, moving into a proper position on the mat for sparring. He only gave them one last glance before turning his full attention to Konig. He could only hope that watching the fight between them would help calm their nerves. He could hope. But he doubted it would actually help.

“Alright,” Price called out from the side of the mat, “Start.”

Just like that, any thoughts of Soap and Ghost left his mind as he was forced immediately on the defense. He was rather surprised and impressed with how quickly Konig had moved. It was much quicker than he’d been at all the last time they’d sparred.

Roach countered everything the taller man threw at him, dodging his attacks while waiting patiently for his opening. He kept his arms tucked closer to his side as he dodged around the man, just like he’d suggested to him last time. He found that it actually helped him quite a bit, as there were numerous times when, if he’d held his arms like he normally did, he would have found himself easily captured by the man he was training with.

After several minutes of this cat-and-mouse game that the two had, Roach finally found his opening. Konig had overstepped on one of his lunges, his balance off just enough that Roach could rush in close to him and he wouldn’t be able to move quickly enough to stop him. With that knowledge in mind, he rushed forward, darting down to take out Konig’s legs.

The larger man was knocked to the floor, but he made a rather quick recovery as Roach moved to wrap his legs around his throat, managing to get an arm between his legs before he could be fully captured.

He tried first to press Roach’s legs apart, but the odd angle and his one trapped arm didn’t allow him much way in the strength that he would need to break the hold, so he tried another tactic. He moved as best as he could slipping his legs underneath him so that he could use his strength there and Roach’s position on his arm to flip them over, slamming Roach to the mat beneath him.

Roach felt the breath knocked from his lungs, but he managed to regain his hold rather quickly, His legs moving around Konig’s throat in an attempt to choke him. His move meant nothing when Konig, significantly larger than him, was still able to reach forward and get his, now free, hand around his throat in a tight choke.

Both men held for several moments, threateningly tightening their grip in an attempt to get the other to tap. After a moment, Konig force himself to move further up so that he was now fully hovering over Roach. This forced Roach’s legs to loosen their grip, just as Roach had told him it would the day prior. He was a little proud of the man on top of him, even as both of their faces flushed with exertion and the hand against his throat fixed itself threateningly.

Roach stared up at the man before reaching up to tap his shoulder twice. Konig immediately released him, moving back from where he’d been hovering to rest on his knees. Roach gave him a grin as he sat up on the mat, “That was good! You remembered what I told you yesterday!”

“You as well,” Konig acknowledged with a grin, “I could tell that you were keeping your arms in.” He pushed himself from the ground and held out a hand to help him up. Roach took it gratefully, still grinning.

They both went to move off of the mat, almost unaware of the other people around them as they talked lowly about their fight. It wasn’t until someone cleared their throat behind them as they stepped back into their spot at the edge of the mat that they remembered there were others around him.

Roach felt on edge as soon as he turned around, spotting Ghost standing on the mat watching them. Ghost looked at him carefully for several moments before turning his gaze to Konig, “Step back on the mat. I’d like a round.”

There was an edge to the man’s voice, one that had Roach turning to warn his new friend away from accepting the challenge. He loved his boyfriends. They loved him. They were very jealous men. It was clear to see in Ghost’s gaze, that what was about to happen was because of that jealousy, not training.

Before he could warn Konig away, the taller man was hesitantly stepping back onto the mat and getting into a stance for the fight. Roach looked around the group hesitantly, most of them clearly had no idea what was happening, the look on Soap’s face said that he did and that he fully supported Ghost. Roach looked for Price, he would understand.

“Where’s Price?” He called over to Gaz, his voice slightly strained once he realized that the Captain was nowhere to be seen.

“He stepped out for a call,” Gaz responded, his face showing a slight bit of pinched-off worry as well.

“We should wait for him to get back,” Roach turned to where Ghost and Konig were already getting into position, “So that he can call the match!”

“I’ll call it,” Roze offered, an amused smile on her face, “It’s going to be entertaining to see these two behemoths fight.”

Roach wanted to curse. He didn’t think Ghost would hurt Konig, but he also knew that there were extenuating circumstances involved. The last thing that he wanted or needed was for his anxious friend to be humiliated by his boyfriend. He didn’t think it would do anything to help how angry he’d been at the two men for the past several days. He knew it would only make his guilt for being in the relationship worse. Ghost and Soap didn’t need to fight for him, he wasn’t worth it, not with what he’d done.

Before he could offer anything else, Roze was calling out, “Start!” and Ghost and Konig were on each other. Konig was good, it was clear to everyone in the room that Ghost was better.

Ghost wasn’t going easy either, so it was no surprise to Roach when he was forced to watch, with a wince, as one of his boyfriends rather easily restrained Konig’s arms, wrestling him down onto the ground before pinning him with a knee to the small of his back. Soap gave a loud whoop once Konig was forced into the position. Roach crossed his arms over his chest, bringing one hand to his mouth to tear at the skin around his fingers. His mind whispered to him, You aren’t worth the trouble of this, dog. They just don’t know yet.

Thankfully, Konig didn’t struggle for more than a few moments before calling out his surrender. Still, Ghost held him in the position for a few seconds longer after the words left his mouth before finally freeing him. He offered a hand out to Konig, Roach’s gentle friend took it gratefully, seemingly taking the loss in stride despite the way that Ghost was glaring at him through his mask.

Konig turned to come back toward Roach, he made it only a step before a hand grabbed at his arm roughly. Ghost stopped the man from moving, Konig looked down at his hand warily. There was a moment of tense silence in the gym as it seemed like Ghost prepared to speak. That moment dissipated, thankfully, peacefully, as Price reappeared to the group, a grim look on his face.

Ghost was quick to release Konig’s arm before turning to Price. Price met them all with a slow look before, “That was some of the higher-ups, looks like our targets have moved.”

“What does that mean for us,” Horangi was the one to ask, crossing his arms as his eyes grew serious and focused.

“It means we ship out tomorrow, instead of three days.” Price looked over the group carefully, “It means we’re going into an emergency briefing. Everyone go do what you need to. Conference room six in an hour.”

Immediately the teams were moving, gathering their things to leave the gym and, no doubt, change into something less sweaty for the meetings they were going to. Roach grabbed his bag and jacket with a sigh, knowing that this meant that he’d likely be on his own for the next few days. It wasn’t a pleasant thought, but he hoped that maybe it would give him time to properly think over his therapist's suggestion.

Once he’d gathered his things, he stepped up carefully to Konig, placing a hand on his arm gently with a smile. He gave him a small pat, “Good luck on the mission. I’ll see you when you get back.” He received a smile from the larger man. After a moment, he took several steps away from him and toward where Soap and Ghost were angrily packing up their bags. They were still shooting small glares at Konig’s form leaving the gym as he stepped closer to them.

He picked nervously at his nails as their eyes eventually came to him. They both immediately stopped their movements, turning to give him their full attention. He felt himself flush red at it, his nerves shooting up higher. He was still mad, he was still struggling, but he was absolutely not going to let these two men go on a mission without there being some sort of acknowledgment of his feelings for them.

He hesitated for another moment before finally steeling his gaze and settling on, “Come to my room after your meetings? I won’t get to see you in the morning so,” he shifted uncomfortably, “I’d like to tell you goodbye before you leave.”

“Stay with us tonight,” it was, surprisingly, Ghost who spoke. His eyes were soft as he looked at him, the tension gone from his body. Roach should have known they’d ask. “Please.”

Roach looked away from them, guilt creeping up his throat once again. He could feel the stinging in his hands as he dug in beside his nail. They were bitten down to the quick. He felt sick, but he knew, more than anything, that no matter his issues, he would regret it if he said no. “Okay,” he responded slowly, quietly, “just for the night.”

He paused to look at the two men before stepping forward. He had to tug Soap down enough that he could plant a kiss on his cheek. He did the same a moment later to Ghost, pulling up the man’s mask just enough that he could press it to the skin of his jaw. He didn’t say anything else to the two, didn’t think he’d be able to handle it at the moment. Instead, he just turned away and left the gym, still feeling guilt settle into his bones. He knew it would be his only companion for the next few days.

Prev: Part 21

Next: Part 23

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