#AND I SPENT TOO LONG ON THESE TO NOT POST THEM IM SO SAD

[coolsvilleprincess]

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!! <3

Wanted to draw a bunch of different pairings so here we go!! I wanted to draw them on how I imagine their dates with each other would go.

Fred and Shaggy started out on a walk but halfway through Fred saw a place they caught a bad guy once and started reminiscing on their good times spent together and who is Shaggy to complain, they definitely went to get food after it though.

Daphne and Fred went to a screening at the Coolsville local cinema where they were showing one of the first ever 3D movies. When the movie is over Fred spends the rest of their date talking about how impressive the improvements to 3D films have been since they were first invented. Daphne doesn't mind that much since she still gets to cuddle and they also probably went to get food after it where Daphne assigns their friends roles in the movie they just watched.

Shaggy and Daphne went to a football game where Shaggy gets to eat very many football game foods such as Hotdogs and whatever else they eat at football games. Daphne isn't even rooting for a team cause at first she wasn't sure about going but it hits halftime and she's caught up in the atmosphere and uses the celebration of any of the teams scoring as an excuse to kiss Shaggy.

Velma and Daphne are working on very important mystery solving and journalism career things on their laptops so they don't have time to go on a date date HOWEVER that will not stop them from flirting through messages as they work. Daphne sends Velma things like videos and songs that remind her of her and Velma can't flirt back so she just sends hearts like a disaster lesbian, good for her tbh.

#scooby doo #scooby doo fanart #my art #fraggy #fraphne #shaphne #vaphne #mystery incorporated #fred jones #shaggy rogers #daphne blake #velma dinkley #mystery polycule #I'm posting this a day early cause I have plans on wednesday #PLEASE IGNORE THE FACT THE LINEART LOOKS A BIT CRUNCHY BEFORE YOU CLICK ON THE IMAGES I CANT FIX IT #AND I SPENT TOO LONG ON THESE TO NOT POST THEM IM SO SAD #why would clip studio's ink brushes do this to me?!!? Really let me down in my time of need wtf #also I think you can tell I like drawing Shaggy the most I think #well actually i enjoy drawing them all #also I'm very attached to the concept of adrenaline junkie Daphne i'm so sorry #daphne is in three out of the four of these good for her #also 13 ghosts shaggy vibes because im nothing if not a 13 ghosts shaphne girlie #i actually dont even have a favourite scooby ship im fine with most of them tbh #and by fine I mean so very not normal about fraphne and shaphne specifically like you don't get it #and since i didn't include scooby i added silly little scooby details like shaggy's socks #and daphnes nail polish colour and her headphones logo #so normal about this franchise i swear

[funshinebf]

everyone shutthe fuck up and draw merylmilly ONE THOUSAND YEAR MERYLMILLY ATTACK‼️💥👭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💗🏳️‍⚧️

#my post #i spent way too long studying emojis and trying to think of what emojis to use to represent them #in the end i just settled on the gay girls. i wanted to get more specific but there were some emojis that just didnt suit my needs #like there really isnt a brown haired girl emoji?? like theres black blonde red and i think another blonde? #but no brunette. sad #so i couldnt make a little milly #i used the nonbinary adult with black hair for meryl though cause she has thay cute short hair #god i love meryl and milly theyre my sweeties i would die and kill for them #every time i read a vashwood fic and meryl and milly arent even MENTIONED im like how dare you. how fucking dare you #same with like mashwood. im like what the fuck about milly huh. where is she #dont fucking adandon her #ITS WORSE WHEN ITS MASHWOOD AND MILLY IS THERE BUT NOT PART OF THE POLYCULE??. #LIKE WHAT. THEY WOULD NEVER LEAVE HER OUT ARE YOU INSANE

[yelenasdog]

vibrant, saccharine, his ☼ (fwb!mat barzal x fwb!fem reader) 

genre: filthy smut, fluff, angst with happy ending

summary: pretending is getting harder, for both of them. and after a hard roadie, mat’s not sure if he wants to pretend anymore.

words: 8.7k (WOAH)

warnings: cursing, excessive use of parentheses, friends with benefits arrangement, smut, unprotected piv, oral (f and m receiving), fingering, blood (reader bit lip too hard oops!), pet names (baby, sweetheart, pretty boy), reader is described as having sisters and a dog, food mention, idiots to lovers, misunderstood situation, reader uses she/her pronouns, and i think that’s it.

a/n: when i started this, i originally was just writing a blurb and then it turned into a full ass fic with a plot?? and fwb??? idk man, im nervy to post this since ive never published for nhlers before but oh whale! and ty to @eminems-skittles for reading this for me and checking it over 🤍 love u

“You played so good, baby.” She breathed, welcoming him home with open arms.

“Not good enough, apparently.” He responded, letting her fingers card through his raven locks. Soft, freshly cut. She loved when he grew it out, but yet again it was him, so anything worked.

She sighed, letting her thumb fall to his cheekbone, knowing what he was referring to. It had been the last stop of the road trip, he’d had a hatty and despite making it to OT, it wasn’t enough in the shootout.

He’d had to wait an entire flight and car ride afterwards to see her, only giving her a brief text when he got off the ice (“We lost. Had a hatty. Fucking Toronto.”) (like she hadn’t stayed up to watch the game) and another when he landed.

And after so long of whatever the two of them had going on, she’d known better than to try to send him some long and winded attempt at a pick me up message. She settled for just responding “I’ll be here.” She didn’t need to say it though, he knew she’d be there.

She always was.

To anyone else it would’ve been sad, how she waited up for him, late nights spent lonely with just her and her dog, as he jetted around North America. In her mind, he was no doubt giving himself away to whatever random puck bunny threw herself his way.

Despite this, she was loyal, even though she had her suspicions about what he did when they were apart. And frankly, it wasn’t a part of the “deal” that they had to be exclusive, and it was none of her business. But truthfully, after so long, she couldn’t count on some washed up juniors player to give her even a fraction of the satisfaction he had.

So, she did this whole routine, whatever this was. She stayed up late watching his games, sitting on her couch in his sweatshirt he left. She wouldn’t admit it out loud, but whenever she wore it, she liked to pretend.

Pretend that she was an obedient girlfriend wearing her loving boyfriends sweater. That as she sat curled up waiting on the corner of the beat up black sofa, 3 coffees in at approximately 1:37 am, she would be rewarded for her efforts come morning time.

That her and said loving boyfriend would lounge around together in bed (after he woke her up in the best way he knew how, showing her how grateful he was. Like I said, she loved when his hair was long enough to tug on, and even though she endlessly made fun of his patchy stubble, she couldn’t deny how delicious it felt burning between her thighs. Especially after they’d spent so long apart.) Then they’d go and grab late brunch, holding hands under the table as they sipped mimosas, which were Mat’s guilty pleasure only her and the waiter knew about, before heading home.

Maybe then they’d FaceTime his mom back in Coquitlam, an early riser with the 3 hour time difference. Mat had felt bad interrupting her morning routine, but she’d never pass up an opportunity to talk to her boy and the girl who she hoped was her future daughter in law.

After they got off the phone, she’d tell him how much she loved his mom, how her cheeks hurt from smiling so much. He’d tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, watching as she leaned into his touch.

“Missed you, Mat.” She’d say, closing her eyes.

“I missed you more.” He’d respond, his voice nearly a whisper. Her eyes would flutter open, and he’d recognize the look in them immediately. He felt his blood rush, and suddenly their proximity, which he’d never get used to, was very obvious.

“Oh yeah?” She asked. “I doubt that.”

He swallowed, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. Her eyes hungrily swept over them, wanting nothing more than to lean forward and capture them with her own.

But patience is a virtue, she supposed.

“Want me to prove it, pretty boy?”

Words failed him, and all he could do was nod. He relaxed into the sofa, watching as she dropped to her knees in front of him. Her hands were on either thigh as he fought the urge to lay his tired head back onto the beat up pleather behind him. It had been too long, he thought. And he’d be damned if he was going to miss out on seeing her do what he’d only imagined in the shower, or over the phone for the past 16 days.

She reached her hands up from the muscle of his thigh up to his tummy, her cold hands shocking him as she reached under his sweatshirt- the same one she’d been wearing before.

Her hands drifted, down, down, down, to the waistband of those damn Lululemon shorts she’d got him for Christmas. He held his breath, watching as they danced around where he needed her most and then-

The doorknob turns, and she’s brought back to reality. Sleep had almost claimed her, iced coffee left abandoned on the coffee table, a ring of condensation already drying on the glass. She attempts to smooth out her hair, hoping that her brief almost-nap hadn’t left her too disheveled.

Not that he’d care.

She stood to greet him as he opened the door, hockey bag, and garment bag, and duffle bag, and backpack, and- God, did he really need all that- and suitcase, dropped unceremoniously as he entered the threshold. He kicked the huge bag to the side, and it landed right under where her keys and her leash for her old mutt, Warrior, hung from the wall.

Above the leash hung a picture of her and her sisters, with her running shoes on the floor beneath it for easy access. They were nearly squished by the gear, and if it had been anyone else’s shit crushing her 160 dollar sneakers, she’d be angry. But the sight of his bag near her shoes was so weirdly domestic, she could’ve cried.

She, yet again, was snapped out of her fantasy by the closing of the heavy door, watching as the man in front of her shuffled forward, immediately allowing himself to be held by her. His head fell to her shoulder, and rather than the usual clash of teeth and shoving to get to her room, (they never went to never his place after a roadie. He needed to be away from the constant reminders of it all for awhile, just to be surrounded by her) she simply dropped a chaste kiss to his temple, letting her arm drop from his hair to his broad shoulders, squeezing once, twice, three times, on either one.

He stood up, and she led him to her room, though he knew the way well enough. Her hand in his felt nice, comforting, even, and he wasn’t going to complain. In the beginning of the arrangement the two of them had, touches like that had been normal. But as time went on, the barely there brushes and gentle caresses stopped all together.

He wanted to say something, wanted to ask her what was wrong, if it was something he did. But when he was off the ice, Mathew Barzal was not a man who liked to push his luck. So he didn’t. He let the touches slip away, and took what he could get from her.

Which right now, was toeing off his shoes, and crawling onto the plush comforter of her bed. It smelled like that sparkly ”fairy dust” shit from Lush he saw sitting on her bathroom counter once, cotton candy and bubblegum infiltrating his senses. That, and her favorite floral perfume he was all too familiar with on her pillow. A combination of scents he usually would find too much, sickly-sweet. But it was her, and that alone made it the most soothing aroma he’d ever known.

Initially when he’d gotten off the ice, the adrenaline had been pumping, and his anger had been rampant. All he’d wanted was to get home to her, have his way with her. To have an outcome he could control.

He’d kept himself relatively calm in the locker room, not having any outbursts towards Ilya, or anyone for that matter. If any of the guys had noticed he was uncharacteristically quiet, they didn’t say anything.

That is, until the bus ride to the airport.

He had been typing out his text to her, (Hatty, lost in OT, Toronto, you know the one), when he had felt a pair of peering eyes. Sitting in the back of the bus, he’d thought he’d done well to avoid such glances, but apparently not.

“Y’know, you shouldn’t be sulking so much.” A certain French-Canadian spoke, the brunette man’s tired eyes lingering over Mat’s hunched over form.

If there was one thing he didn’t need right now, it was more pep talks from Tito. He’d had more than his fill in the locker room. And though he loved the guy, he didn’t need to be told again how he “did everything right” and had a ”killer game”.

Because he knows, and that’s partly why he’s so mad.

Partly. As the other part is the fact that he wants more than anything to come back to NY to her arms. He was exhausted at this point, and rather than having his way with her, he now just wanted to be welcomed home into those ridiculously cozy sheets. He wanted her to light up all those overpriced candles she loved so much from Bath and Bodyworks, and for Warrior to snuggle up by him, stinky dog breath be damned. He wanted her to turn on ”Miracle” in the back as white noise, and laugh as she repeated all the lines from memory. (He may be Canadian, but he can appreciate a heart warming story told by Kurt Russell when he sees one.)

More than anything, though, he wanted her. And not just for an hour or two before he inevitably dragged himself out of those silky sheets that felt heavenly on his back, leaving her sleeping beside him. She looked peaceful in those moments, and he often wondered what she dreamt of. If she was dreaming of him as he did of her.

Bottom line was, Mathew was the victim of a series of unfortunate events. And the man to his left could recognize that it wasn’t just the hockey that was bothering him. (Though, that whole situation did suck pretty bad, he’d admit.)

So when Anthony told him he shouldn’t be sulking, he flashed him a tight lipped smile and a nod, before looking out the window at the Toronto sunset. The oranges and pinks were stunning, and more than anything their vibrancy reminded him of her. The smile she’d give him in her post-orgasm glow, or of the orange blossom on the bottle of perfume on her vanity. Beauvillier’s gaze never faltered, though, recognizing the deep train of thought his close friend was experiencing.

The screen of his phone had begun to darken, the draft of his message just barely visible. Tito’s eyes quickly shifted from the screen and back up to Barzy, opening his mouth and pausing momentarily.

“Who’re you texting?”

Mat quickly turned off the device, the “click” sounding out in the quiet bus cabin, most of the Islanders players catching some shut eye or watching that new Game of Thrones spin off.

Personally, Mat didn’t get the appeal.

“Nobody, just… a friend I’m visiting tonight when we get back.”

Anthony’s eyebrows went up, making a face of understanding as he slowly nodded three times.

“A friend, huh?”

Mathew nods, taking his bottom lip between his teeth and letting it go. “Yup.” He adds softly for good measure, popping the p.

“You visiting a friend after a game like that, this late, hm?” Another pause. ”Must be an important friend.”

“Yeah.” His voice is soft again, compassion coming across his features and he thinks of her again.

“Well“, Anthony starts, popping in his earbuds and opening his phone to his Music app. “I’d say whatever’s going on with this friend seems worth talking to her about.”

Mat‘s head snaps up, and he scoffs, shaking his head.

“I didn’t say that it was a she-“

“You didn’t have to, buddy.” Tito winks in the most annoyingly-Tito way, and chuckles to himself. He then lays his head back onto the navy material behind him. Mat “hmph”s to himself, doing the same. He turns his phone back on again, going to the chat between the two of them. The still blinking cursor seems like it’s mocking him as he runs a hand over his face, hitting send.

If there’s gonna be any deep, emotional shit, it can wait until he’s not 2500 miles away.

7 hours later when he finally crashes through her front door, he swears the relief he feels mixed with the sense of dread it all might be over in an hour, gives him whiplash. But nonetheless, she welcomes him in, and she feels like home.

Warrior watches from the couch, his tail lazily wagging as he observes his owner greeting the man who occasionally slips him bacon from his Starbucks sandwich. His old man (old dog?) body doesn’t find the arrival of the hockey player worthy of leaving his nest on the sofa, as to him that’s all Mathew Barzal is. The bringer of bacon.

To Warrior’s owner, though, he was so much more.

The trek to the bedroom felt like it took an eternity, and as he laid on her bed, he couldn’t help but wonder if it would be a bad idea to push his luck for once. Risk ending it all to gain everything.

She laid down next to him, and he shifted, going from laying with his arms crossed under his head, to one next to her head, the other keeping him stable from his position on top of her.

Her hand crept up to push an unruly lock out of his eyes, and she leaned forward, and he met her halfway. They paused briefly, taking each other in after so long, before finally closing to distance.

He tasted warm, like cinnamon and something she couldn’t place, and she wondered if at the airport he’d gotten one of those pretzels she knew he liked so much. To compliment his psychopath reminiscent black coffee, of course.

His hand went from where it had been cradling her face down to rest on her hip. The soft touch elicited a whimper, and at that he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers.

She recognized that something was off, swimming around in that pretty little head of his. A small frown etched its way onto her face, and she lifted his chin up so he had no choice but to look at her.

“What’s wrong, Mat?”

He took in a shaky breath, looking over to his left, where the TV was on some random wallpaper, a sunset, he realizes. He scoffs, looking back at her.

“Can you just- can we- can I- fuck.” He mutters, slowly falling down so his body weight is nearly on top of her.

“Can you just… hold me?”

She swears she’s never heard him sound so broken.

“Yeah, baby, ’course. C’mere.” She replies softly, allowing him to fully rest on her. It was a miracle that he didn’t fully break down right there, at the feeling of her fingertips dancing over his skin, under his pushed up shirt. His nose was cold against her neck as he dragged it up against her to come to her cheek, pressing a kiss there. His eyes never opened, afraid that if they did, it would all just be another elaborate fantasy he’d created to pass the time.

“Is this a good idea?” Came her voice, cutting through the silence.

He sniffles. “What do you mean?”

“This. Us.” She says, not able to meet his gaze where he’s lifted his head.

“We’re going to get hurt. More than we already have.”

Oh. Oh, fuck this was happening right now. Mat sat up, feeling like a scared teenage boy. Damn you and the way you read people, Beauvillier. Maybe this would’ve been easier from 2500 miles away.

“We don’t have to.”

“What other option do we have?” She said, sounding defeated, like she already knows her answer and she doesn’t like it. “I-I can’t keep doing this no strings attached shit. Not when you do this. Not when you come here all beat up like some sad puppy.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. And he was.

“Don’t be. I should’ve known this would happen.” Her voice was soft, her eyes distant.

“That what would happen?” He questioned. She looked at him like he had two heads.

“That you’d leave, Mat. That this whole pretending bullshit wouldn’t be enough for me.”

He leaned forward again, catching her off guard.

“I’m not leaving you. I’d never leave you.”

She looked away briefly, mentally cursing herself for being so emotional as tears began to well up in her eyes. He fell to her side, forcing her to meet his gaze.

“Do you really want this?” She asked, the tears rolling down her face illuminated a hue of pink from the salt lamp on the bedside table. Mathew reached out a hand, dragging his thumb over the droplet. He hated that she was crying, but fuck, she sure looked pretty while doing it.

His answer came without thought, he’d done enough of that on his way over.

“Yes. I want you in every way, if you’ll have me.”

A small smile came onto the corners of her face, and she nodded, shortly at first, but more exaggerated as they started laughing, a small “yeah?” escaping from Mathew. She responded with the same, and he took that as his sign to reach forward, closing the distance between them.

And like all the times before, they fell into their routine, her hands going down to his hips, lifting the gray material of his shirt over his head. He returned the favor, the two of them moving in sync as she lifted her hips and he gently slid off her shorts. He ran his palms along her bare thighs and she shivered at the feeling, a reaction that didn’t go unnoticed by Mathew.

“I missed you, y/n.” He admitted, running a hand through his, now, unruly hair.

Another vibrant smile came across her face, easing whatever nerves Mat had left over from his confession.

“I missed you more, Mathew.”

He shook his head, dipping down to leave sloppy kisses on her neck. Taken aback, she let a shaky breath escape. He pulled back, satisfied with the response he’d pulled from her.

“Not possible.”

In a moment of boldness (and a slight hope to allow a fantasy to come to life) she challenged him.

“Prove it, then.”

His eyes darkened, then, and he surged forward. Her remaining clothes, which was just his sweatshirt and a flimsy cami, were gone in an instant. She was left in just a pair of black undies, Mat nearly cumming on the spot at the sight, like he’s some horny teenager. His apparel soon joined the growing pile on the floor, as she made a remark about how it wasn’t fair he was still so covered.

She shamelessly raked over his naked form, save for the black boxers, with his firm muscles, sore from the roadie, prominent as ever. She might’ve been drooling, she wasn’t sure. He smirked, the effect he had on her not lost to him.

The two began to kiss again, and there was no other way to describe it other than that it just felt right.

Mathew wasted no time, allowing his hand to trail down and cup her clothed heat, his thumb passing over her clit and past her entrance with a feather light touch. She shivered, her hips lifting up to chase the brief sensation. He pulled her panties to the side, teasing her entrance with his middle finger.

It was immediately covered in her slick, as was the black fabric he’d moved aside. It made him groan just from the sensation alone, making her chuckle at his behavior. Her laugh soon was cut off as he sunk the finger in, giving her no time to adjust, not that she needed it with how ready she was for it, before adding another.

His palm just barely grazed her begging clit as he pumped in and out slowly. And as she continued to lift her hips trying to feel him deeper, push his hand closer to her clit, she fully expected him to push her down and put her in her place.

But this whole thing was about showing him how much he missed her, how much he appreciated her. To show her that he was staying. And him staying meant that he’d have plenty of chances in the future to be an insufferable tease, but right now wasn’t one of those times.

“Matty, please-“ it was more of a breathy whine, not intelligible to an untrained ear. But thankfully for her, that wasn’t Mat.

“You want more, baby?” He questioned, knowing the answer. She nodded, hair splayed around her like a halo on the pillow. She was still illuminated from the TV screen and the salt lamp, making her look like an angel of sorts, not of this world.

“Look at me then, sweetheart. Wanna see that I’m makin’ you feel good.”

Her eyes that met his were glazed over and doe like, and it melted Mat’s insides at just one look. He did his best to push down the mushy feeling that arose, before realizing he didn’t have to anymore. He could feel as sickeningly in love as he wanted, no consequences.

“You’re so beautiful, baby. So needy, fuckin’ perfect girl.” He remarked, adding in a third finger. She let out a borderline pornographic cry, and Mat picked up his pace. His gaze only faltered from her face, contorting in pleasure, back to where he was pumping in and out of her, unable to resist the urge to watch in amazement.

Though her legs were flailing, going from propped up to sliding down and spread, rustling the comforter, she somehow had enough mind to reach a hand down. She attempted to run tight circles around her clit, but not before her hand was pinned to her side by the center above her,

“No, baby. Lemme.”

His range of motion was wider and his thrusts harder as he curled his fingers to perfectly hit that spot inside her that made her see stars, fully trailing his hand over her sex. He repeated the action again, and again, and again- and fuck, she didn’t know how long she’d go on like this but she never wanted the feeling to stop.

He felt her tighten around him, and he picked up his pace, knowing she was almost there.

“Mat!” she managed to get out between strangled moans and panting breaths. He leaned down, kissing below her ear on the one spot he knew drives her crazy. She was halfway thinking, well, less than halfway with her state at the moment, that he would cruelly pull his hand away as she reached her peak. So she clamped her thighs together in an attempt to trap him, subconsciously more than not.

It didn’t stop him from grinding his palm against her like he had been, leaning down to capture her lips with his in a searing kiss.

Everything at once was just so much, the obscene sounds coming from both their mouths and her wet heat, the feeling of Mathew’s bare skin on top of her, the feeling of warmth radiating from his body, and oh my God, after so long it’s fucking finally happening-

He felt as her chest seized and she pulled away from the kiss, her head slamming back before falling to the side. She cried out, her orgasm hitting her like nothing had before.

He found her lips in the chaos beneath him, his hand parting her thighs as she went lax, lazily pumping in and out as she rode out her high. Her slick coated the inside of her thighs, and Mat pulled away momentarily and she whined, like the little brat she was allowing herself to be.

He only smirked, leaning down to kiss on her collarbone, letting his tongue sweep over the seemingly shimmering expanse of skin before him. He moved further down, savoring the taste of her, how it felt to be so close to her. No guards up, no shields, no screening involved.

She moved her ring clad hands to run fingers through his locks, that fucking smile coming across her face. He looked up from where his hands were holding either side of her waist, his fingers digging into the soft flesh just enough to not make it hurt, but to say “I’m here. I’m not leaving.” His chin rested above her bellybutton, and he felt suddenly seen, bashful almost. He continued his trail down in a half assed attempt to hide his face, her breath hitching when he made it to her mound.

Her breath barely returned to her as he skipped over where she thought he was headed, instead opting to take her right leg over his shoulder, moving down the expanse of it to her ankle. He brought his eyes to meet hers, and a tender hand ran up and down the distance of it. He kissed the inside of her ankle, making his way up to the skin where her thigh met her already aching sex.

He lightly nudged his nose against the area, before attaching his lips. He started sucking on the skin there, licking her clean. Satisfied, he moved to the other side, beginning his good work.

“Mat,” she broke her silence, her voice splintered and low, “don’t tease. Please.”

He raised his eyebrows, seemingly in jest.

“I think we’re a little far gone from teasing, eh?” He asked, and truthfully, one mind blowing orgasm later, they were.

She chuckled, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever hotshot.”

“New nickname?” He questioned. “I like it.” He huffed, returning to his place between her legs. “But I fucking love this pussy, baby.”

And with that, he dove in. He immediately groaned at what he had found. (Which, obviously, caused her to tug at that perfect head of hair, eliciting another groan.)

If possible, she had become even wetter with the mix of his spit and her nectarine juices. It dripped down his chin, and he wanted to stay there forever. He’d found solace there, he thought. No Maple Leafs, no Tito, no hatty that meant jackshit in the end.

Just her and her consummate being. Vibrant, saccharine. His.

He wasn’t sure how long he spent drawing her closer and closer to the edge, but somewhere between repeated chants of praises and whatnot, he’d slipped.

“Fucking love this cunt, fucking love you-“

He hadn’t realized what he said, and if he had, he didn’t seem to care. But his words alone were enough to rip an unassuming orgasm from her. She didn’t allow herself long enough to think about if he meant to say it or not, or even to ride out the aftershocks rolling through her nerves. She grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing him away from her glistening cunt and up to where she connected their lips.

A small sound of surprise, not reluctance, escaped from where they were joined. Her hands came to cradle either side of his face, and Mat thinks that he might’ve cried from the tender action. He wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t going to ask. Hey, it’d been a long day.

“You mean it?”

He realized what he had said, then, eyes wide and somehow his face even more flushed than before. He considered lying, like when Tito had asked who he was texting and he’d said a friend.

But where would that leave him, he wondered?

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, I did.” He added after a beat of silence.

And in those few moments nothing had seemed scarier.

Not when he was 18, getting skipped over by teams in the draft, and that voice in the back of his head had told him that, somehow, everyone had collectively decided to skip Mathew Barzal. Not when he was 19 playing in his first game for the Isles, having to follow up Auston Matthews first NHL game where he had four goals. Four. Fuck.

No, all that was topped by this. By the same fear he’d had earlier when he’d been on the bus, or when he’d arrived at her apartment.

But all of that fear was dissolved in a second after her laugh sounded out in the small bedroom, her eyes crinkling at the edges. She pulled him down towards her, and the sound of her laughter pulled a radiant smile from the hockey player that he felt like hadn’t seen the light of day in a long time.

She rolled over on top of his chest, leaning forward and throwing her arms around his neck. His chain was glinting, now, in the light she had previously been bathed in, and it caught her eye as it rested against his milky complexion.

“You looooove me.” She regarded in a sing-song voice, and Mat rolled his eyes despite the smile growing on his face. She leaned down, and Mathew’s grip on her bare hips tightened, all too aware of the wet spot left on his stomach from her leaking sex.

She mirrored his previous movements down his chiseled body, a regular Adonis in his own right. She left open mouthed kisses, the wet patches from them adding to the thin sheen that covered his body. She made her way down to his boxers, the obvious tent making her stifle a laugh. He caught it though, of course, and rolled his eyes for what seemed like the millionth time.

“Laugh it up, babe. Laugh at my misery.” He commented, to which she only shook her head.

“Patience is a virtue, Mathew.”

“You’re one to talk.”

Well, he had a point there.

So rather than talk, she decided she’d put her mouth to good use. She pulled down his boxers at a painstakingly slow rate, watching as his cock slapped up against his stomach. Her mouth watered at the sight, the tip red and weeping, begging to be attended to. He kicked off the boxers, paying no mind to how they slipped onto the floor, forgotten. She didn’t either, as she was sure he had to have some extra in one of his gazillion bags sitting in her entry way.

Her nails scratched down his stomach, angry red lines puffing up and decorating around the expanse of his skin. They were accompanied by freckles and marks and scars that she could have mapped together with her eyes closed. She knew Mathew like the back of her hand. And with that, came knowing how to make him come undone in her hands.

She started leaving small kisses at the base of his shaft, before swiping the bead of precum from his head down to the rest of him. She pumped her hand a few times, and Mathew let out a strangled moan. She thought he couldn’t get any louder, feeling bad for her neighbors at whatever hour in the night it was, but she was quickly proven wrong.

She licked a long stripe from the bottom to his tip, before taking as much of him into her mouth as she could. She bobbed her head a few times, jacking off whatever she couldn’t fit with her hands. She hollowed her cheeks, and the rise and fall of Mathew’s chest quickened. The sound he let out was animalistic, and it sent another wave of arousal through her body. She moaned involuntarily, and the feeling caused Mathew to buck his hips.

“You’re doing so good, baby. ‘M not gonna last with you going at me- shit- like that.”

He brought a large hand down to the side of her face, lightly stroking her cheek. It was a moment of wholesomeness that reminded them what they were now, what he had said.

Mat could tell she was tired, her pace decreasing. The look in her eyes never changed, though. And as he went to speak to tell her it was okay, and she didn’t have to (and because since it had been so long, he was scared he’d bust his load if she wasn’t careful), she pulled off.

A string of saliva followed, and the sight looked like a thumbnail of a shitty porno. Her eyes were droopy and glazed over, and Mat’s hypothesis was proven correct.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. You don’t have to finish. Let me take care of you.” He repeated his sentiment from earlier. She only shook her head, continuing to jack him off with her hand. Oh. He thought. That’s not what I was expecting.

“S’okay, Matty. Wanna make you feel good.”

She ran her thumb over his tip again, her glassy and swollen bottom lip hanging ajar as she concentrated. The moans he was letting slip free could only be described as pathetic, the 190 pound hockey player putty in her hands.

“I’m gonna cum if you don’t, God, baby, shit! I-If you don’t stop.”

And then she pulled her hand off, and he let out a quick breath at the momentary relief, if that was even the right word. But it was short lived, and she managed to hoist herself up, dragging her folds along his cock, before stabilizing herself with hands on his chest. He slid inside of her, and the sounds they both let out echoed off her walls.

She started moving, and then it was “You’re fuckin’ amazing, you know that? So fuckin’ amazing. My girl, my perfect girl.” He rambled, the events of just that day alone scrambling his mind trying to keep up. Similarly to how she felt earlier, everything was just too much for the poor man. She felt like Heaven around him, and he watched in awe from below her as she moved, enamored by the woman he loves.

As she became more and more tired, her movement slowed, reduced to her grinding herself down on his cock. Mat was barely hanging on, trying to make it last as long as possible. He could tell she was close too, as she squeezed him like a vice, and put her energy into picking up her pace.

“Fuck, Matty. Feels s’good. Love you- shit! I love you so much, baby.” She told him, her eyes closed and her face screwed up as she chased her high. But something snapped in Mathew at her confession, and with a quick “fuck” under his breath, he flipped the two of them without ever leaving her.

He was relentless.

He slammed in and out, and at the sudden change in position and pace, she was blindsided. She thrashed around him, her hands everywhere at once. Her hair, his hair, grasping at his shoulders, scratching down his back. She settled for his biceps, as his hands were planted. One on the right side of her head, the other gripping her hip bone so hard, she was sure it’d bruise.

“It’s only ever been you, baby. I promise you.”

“Shit, Mat!” She cried, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. She loosely draped her legs around his middle, allowing him to reach new depths within her. He was fucking her senseless, and they fucking loved it.

“It’ll only ever be you. I love you. Fuck, I love you so much, Y/n.” His hair hung in his eyes as he fought to keep them open. He shook it out of his eyes, wanting to see her as she came in all her glory.

“Love you, Mat. So much, baby. You have no idea.”

His pelvis snapped harder against her, just barely reaching up and grazing her clit in the most exquisite way. The rope in her stomach began to tighten for the third time that night, so close to breaking she could almost taste it.

Actually, she could taste it, she realized. She had been biting down so hard on her bottom lip she could taste the metallic tang on her tongue, and fuck, it was all the more delectable.

“Mat!” It was another exclamation, followed by more babbles. “‘S too much, Matty, can’t do it.” Her voice was small, and despite the nature of the statement, Mat felt his heart flutter.

He shook his head. “Yes, you can, baby. I know you’re tired, but you can do it, Y/n. You’ve got another one in you sweetheart, pull through for me. I’ve got you.”

And never one to disappoint, especially not her Mathew, she did.

She came, and she came hard. But it wasn’t dramatic the way you’d think it’d be, at least not outwardly. Her breathing stopped, her toes curled, and her nails dug into the skin on Barzy’s arms. It wasn’t accompanied by a loud scream, or a drawn out, high pitched moan. It was a breath of relief that left her when she came, her head falling to the side and her eyes closing. A quiet moan of Mat’s name, and she was clamping down on him.

The sweet way his name fell off her tongue, mixed with how she was so damn tight around him as she came, and he was done for. It triggered his own orgasm, and he felt the same feeling of peace wash over him that she had as he spilled into her. He fucked her through it, soft thrusts calming whatever aftershocks they both were experiencing. She had gone limp under him, her eyes opening as she gave him the sweetest smile he’d ever seen.

He stayed in her, lowering himself onto his side, then maneuvering them so she was laying on him. They were a cliché and they knew it, but they couldn’t seem to care. A few moments passed in comfortable silence, before it was broken by Mathew’s scratchy post-sex voice. Swoon.

“So,” he started. She raised a brow, wondering where he was going with this.

“You looooove me, too, then?” He mimicked her tone from earlier, and they broke out in a fit of laughter as she slapped his arm and rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. I guess you’re alright.” She feigned annoyance, propping herself up on her right arm as she faced the man she loved. Mat scoffed, blowing a strand of hair from his forehead. “Just alright? You’re crazy, lady.”

“But you love me.”

Not a beat passed before “I do.”

She smiled softly, lifting up a hand to run a finger along his jaw. He caught it with his own, never breaking eye contact as he kissed her palm. Again, swoon.

“I know.” She responded, wanting to stay in that moment forever. But, she knew that if she stayed where she was too long, she’d more than likely fall asleep in record time. So, she pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth, which he turned to catch before she could go, pulling her back for a “real” kiss at his protest.

A petulant child, that’s what he is.

She pressed one more to his lips for good measure, before pulling himself off of him. They both let out disgruntled sounds at the sudden losses, and it took all her energy to sit up on the edge of her bed. She felt a strong jaw on her shoulder, and she leaned into it.

“Where you goin’? Leaving me all alone isn’t very nice.” She could hear the frown in his voice, and even though she knew he was joking, it tugged on her heartstrings that little bit.

“Gotta pee.” She said, standing up and walking towards the connecting bathroom. “Sorry baby, no UTIs for me.”

The frown stayed cemented on his face.

“You should be grateful,” she threw over her shoulder, shutting the door. “No UTIs, more fucking, yeah?”

He chuckled at her bluntness, deciding to go and get her some water and maybe a snack. Shit, he didn’t know. What was he supposed to do? Usually when they fucked before, her or Mat would be out the door as soon as possible, still trying to ward off those pesky feelings. But now, he was allowed to feel said pesky feelings, and he’d be damned if he fucked it up.

So, snack. And water? Yeah, water, for sure. He was hungry and thirsty, why wouldn’t she be. He had no idea the way around her kitchen, nor how to, er, actually make anything, so this would be rough. But, first, a pit stop.

He would have walked butt-ass naked into her kitchen, really, but then he remembered Warrior was out there and he didn’t have a need to traumatize that dog any further than he already was.

(It was one time, okay? He didn’t know she had a dog, he’d been asleep on his bed by the TV when they’d gotten to her place. And at the time, Mat was too preoccupied to notice.)

He looked around on the floor for the offending clothing item, slightly grossed out when he did finally find them. It was only for a minute, tops, is what he told himself, as he pulled on the boxers from earlier in the night.

He tiptoed, for literally no apparent reason, through the dark apartment until he found the bag he was looking for. He grabbed what he needed from it, struggling with the zipper while trying to close it, before giving up. On his way back to her room, he gave Warrior a nod and smile, and he swore the mutt gave one back. Okay, actually, on second thought, he remembered the clock on her microwave saying it was 3:18 AM, so, maybe he didn’t.

It was late and he just had the best sex of his life with the woman he loves. Give him a break. So what if he’s delusional and thinks he can communicate with dogs? At least he’s pretty.

When he gets to her room, he pulls on the newer, clean, pair of boxers, setting the other pair he grabbed from his bag on the bed for her when she got out of the bathroom, along with an Islanders shirt that he’d secretly always wanted to see her in. Too soon? Maybe. But after so long yearning for everything domestic and wholesome and good that he was convinced he didn’t deserve with her, he was indulging a little bit. So sue him.

His next stop, snacks. And water, can’t forget the water.

The water was easy enough, he got lucky. He grabbed her “emotional support cup” as she’d called it before when she thought he wasn’t listening, and went over to the fridge. He got a few ice cubes and put them in, and then went over to her Brita. He stood there, pressing down on the little lever, watching the steady stream of water into the cup. It was almost laughable, how he stood there in the dead silence, concentrating so hard. He was determined not to somehow do something wrong, even though it was just pouring a cup of water. Cute.

He checked the pantry once the cup was full, with the lid safely screwed on top. The rustling about caught the attention of Warrior, who hopped down from where he’d been on the couch, moseying on over.

Mat, who still was slightly wary of Warrior, despite the fact the dog would cause him no harm, shook his head at the mutt.

“Sorry, buddy. I don’t have anything for you.”

He turned his head and gave him puppy dog eyes, pulling out all the stops. Mat sighed, looking back to the pantry. He saw a box of Milkbones, and looked back to Warrior, who was egging him on. (They’re telepathically connected, remember?)

He reached in the box, pulling one out, and tossing it down. Warrior gratefully accepted, taking his treat and waltzing off to his bed to chow down. Mat looked in the pantry, going to close the box, when he sees it, his saving grace.

White bread, hallelujah.

He can do toast. Mathew Barzal is a totally capable 25 year old man who can make toast. So, he takes the bag, going over to the toaster. And-

One look at all those fancy buttons, and he’s tapped out.

Okay, it’s okay, he can remember seeing a vending machine on his way into her apartment. Yeah, he remembers her telling him about having to sign off on some HOA form for it, even though she was just renting. Apparently, her landlord hadn’t signed, which made it her job. Whatever, that’s irrelevant.

He figured that there wouldn’t be anybody out in her hallway at 3:23 AM, so he grabbed his coat with his wallet, shrugging it on over his bare back. His slides were somewhere in his hockey bag and the last thing he wanted to do was stink up her whole place by opening that Pandora’s box. So, barefoot it is.

He does his best to sneak out the apartment, leaving the door ajar as he makes the short walk to the vending machine, grateful his search was over. He let out a long sigh as he stood, wondering what to get her.

For himself he decided on a bag of cool ranch Doritos, and a bag of those tiny cookies. For her, he racked every corner of his brain for potential options, before realizing how long he’s taking, and how long he’d been gone. So, not wanting to waste any more time, he elected for one of everything.

He punched in the numbers and paid, attempting to grab them from the machine. Trying to pick up the few that had fallen, he leaned down. His attention was called elsewhere by the ”click!” of a door a few units down. His head snapped to the source of the sound.

“You’ve got to be shitting me.” He muttered under his breath upon what he saw.

A man probably not much older than himself, suitcase and backpack in tow, donned in, you guessed it, a New York Islanders hoodie a lá number 13.

The man had yet to notice the star player down the hall from him, and Mat was considering just making a run for Y/n’s place. But either way, he would have to go past the man, or the man would have to go past Mat to get to the elevator. Maybe he’d take the stairs? He hoped. Shit, who was he kidding, he’s not taking the stairs.

Starting his walk over, the unnamed Islanders fan lifted his head, stopping in his tracks. His jaw dropped, and if it wasn’t purely because of being in the presence of Mat Barzal, he had a hunch what it was.

Said hunch, was that it was due to the fact Mat Barzal was standing in front of him, in an apartment complex definitely not boujee enough for him to be living in, at 3:25 in the morning, naked, except for boxers and some fancy trench coat, holding several bags of snacks.

Mat would’ve laughed at the guys face, but he thought he wasn’t quite in the position to do so.

“Hey, man. How’s it going?” And a stupid bro nod, was all Mathew could manage.

-

While he was facing that debacle, Y/n was having one of her own.

After she’d gone to the bathroom, she decided to try to do her nighttime routine, too. She put on her robe from where it had been hanging in her bathroom, beginning her little routine.

When she emerged 10 minutes later, Mat was nowhere to be seen.

His bags were still by the door, albeit one of them hastily thrown open. Was he leaving and had gotten some clothes and an Uber? Did he have last minute regrets? The door to her place was left open, and an overwhelming sadness began to take over her system. As the tears began to well up, she looked over to Warrior, only to notice him chewing on… a milkbone? How the hell did he get a milkbone?

She sniffled, wiping her sleeve under her nose. She sat down on her couch, looking at where her iced coffee from earlier was still sitting, ¾ of the way empty. The tears started to flow freely again after that, and she stood up, deciding that she should at least shut the door. She didn’t need to deal with a robbery, too.

As she stood and turned, she was met with a very discombobulated and very underdressed Mat trying to shove his way through the door.

“Have a good flight, man. Enjoy Miami!” Mat called over his shoulder to what sounded like her neighbor Gian, based off of the “Thanks bro, good luck this season!” she heard back.

She slapped a hand over her mouth, trying to not bust out laughing at the sight in front of her. Hearing her snickering, he looked up gesturing to the bags in his arms.

“Hungry?” He asked, the smile on his face falling when he saw the red around her eyes. He dropped all the snacks on the couch to his right, making his way over to where she stood.

“Hey, hey, why’re you crying? What’s wrong sweetheart?” He questioned, and his sincerity made her smile widely.

“Nah, I’m all good, don’t worry about it. Just thought you’d left, that’s all…” A pause. “But I see now that you just had a case of munchies, apparently.”

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders pulling her towards his chest. His chin rested on her head, and she closed her eyes, inhaling his scent.

“No, baby. God, no, I’m not leaving. I just wanted to do this whole thing right, and I thought you might be hungry, and I tried to make toast- your toaster is really complex by the way,”

She pulled away from him as he rambled, her smile reaching her eyes.

“And I filled your water and set out clothes for you and I really did try, baby. I didn’t mean to fuck anything up, really.”

She giggled again, taking hold of the shoulders of his jacket, shrugging it off. She folded it over the back of a barstool, then turned back towards Mat.

“And Gian?”

“Oh yeah, he’s cool. Ran into him in the hallway and introduced myself. Going to visit some family in Miami.”

She raised an eyebrow, nodding her head in understanding. She stepped closer, wrapping her arms around his middle.

“So, am I gonna have to compete with him for your attention now whenever you come over?”

He reciprocated the action, one hand coming up to rest on her chin.

“I mean, he’s gonna be gone for two weeks, but after that…” he shrugged, trailing off. She hummed, and he smiled at her, leaning forward. He searched her eyes for any remaining upset, unable to find any, before he pressed his lips to hers. It was sweet and gentle, with not a hint of rush or fervor.

When they pulled apart, she was smiling again. Her hands found their way back to his neck.

“And baby, you’re amazing. You didn’t fuck up anything at all, I promise.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” She whispered, leaning in again to connect their lips. She let her tongue sweep over his bottom lip, biting down just barely before pulling away. She pushed down the sleeves of her robe just a bit, exposing her shoulders. Y/n took his hand, and started walking backwards, letting it slowly slip out of hers as she did.

“Come on, hotshot. Come to bed. Snacks will still be there in the morning.”

She smiled again briefly, before walking towards her room, the robe slipping down as she went. Mat stood watching her in total awe, glued in place, until he was knocked out of his trance.

“Hurry up! And lock the door, too, please!”

He had never obliged to anything quicker in his life.

(And as for the snacks, they were not still there in the morning, thanks to a certain mutt who managed to rip open all the packets on the couch. The next morning was spent at the vet, who had told them Warrior would be fine, just fat. The vet had only said this, though, after Mat had consoled a crying Y/n, who was under the impression he was going to be poisoned.

The rest of the day after that? Making up for lost time.)

FIN.

YO idk if that was good or not i kind of feel like i imagined writing the entire thing and it was a fever dream. but. anyway! if you liked it, be sure to reblog <3 thank u i love u! go eat some protein and drink some water. 

xx, hj

#mat barzal x reader #mat barzal smut #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal x reader smut #mat barzal fluff #mat barzal comfort #mat barzal x reader fluff #mat barzal x fem reader #mat barzal x y/n #mathew barzal x reader #mathew barzal imagine #mat barzal fic #mat barzal fanfiction #mat barzal fan fiction #nhl x reader #nhl imagine #nhl smut #bro i fr fr projected abt my ex bf in this SO HARD #LMFAOAOOA #but. anyway.

[v-anrouge]

This is a queued post and it includes talks about transphobia and mentions of self harm and eating disorders

Im here to talk and announce a break, first thing's first j relapsed, in literally like everything sh ed and didn't try to kill myself is because of a few people and the fact my pills ended. For a very long time in this blog u have not been feeling like human, it's like most of you don't even actually like and just come talk to me when im being funny and fun or when i post something rook related that you like, ive really been trying to get rid of that feeling but it keeps on coming back and it's unbearable to be in this blog at this point. this situation with Shiba only really confirmed it for me, I saw about like 4 mutuals referring to this as drama, and complaining about seeing it on dash and while obviously you have all the rights to be displeased with a constant show of negativity in your dash, i beg of you to try and think how i, a trans man, must feel seeing you refer to me and other mutuals calling out transphobia and have to read you refer to this as drama and not as a literal crime. I understand if you got annoyed by me talking about it constantly and to that i ask that you please block me, because i have been literally beaten, bullied, harassed and even doxxed by transphobes, I do not take anything that displays even a bit of prejudice against my trans siblings lightly, hence why i was so "histerical and obsessed" and was being so "stupid and acting like an idiot" as someone people would claim. I do not care what view you have of me i really don't, im used to this shit, ive been trans and alive in the most transphobic country for 20 years, it's no news, but it still hurts. And it hurts even more when I see someone say i was an idiot for blocking someone immediately and calling them out when they side with a transphobe, and it hurts even more when I see a person i thought liked me complain about "drama still going on" rest assured that i won't be "bitching" about it any longer

For soru, who cant possibly process why i have blocked you, your take on that situation and your friend have both brought me terrible flashbacks of my own past as a child dealing with transphobia, of being told people like me are sick and are the seeds of the devil and that we are animals or that there's something wrong with us, like your friend said, their apology is both not genuine and extremely poorly made as they still can't accept the fact that yes, they are transphobic, and you soru, can't imagine how it broke my soul to see your post saying you had given them a chance, but seeing the post you made after, in which you literally agree with your mother you should've stayed away from trans people, that's what broke me the most, and j couldn't even speak about it, because it's "too negative" or im "drama chasing" im sick of this, you can hate and insult me all you want soru rest assured you're not the only one you're not the first nor the last one, maybe this will come off as a surprise to the people that are sure im obsessed with drama and chasing people around but i genuinely did have a lot of respect for you, if the hours ive spent crying over this say anything at all, it's sad that this had to end this way, but not for me, I don't care, this isn't the first or the last time this happens to me, but to my mutuals who i am very sure many are angry that i have made this situation happen, perhaps i should've stayed quiet and keep being funny as people like me best, well it is too late, but i hope that you'll forgive me mutuals, for once again ruining something good.

I don't know how long this break will last or if ill ever even return to this account at all, but i sincerely thank the ones that did treat me like a human, as an equal, that actually saw the person behind v-anrouge. you can't possibly believe how much you mean to me

That's about it, do have a great day

[gatheringbones]

genuine question: how do you stand the loneliness? i'm in my mid 20s and ive never been loved in a way that didnt hurt. i dont want to have to run after ppl begging for the smallest scrap of affection anymore but i keep turning up ppl who, even though they are interested in me and seem generally decent, arent ready to lower their walls and let me in, so its either that or nothing, and im so fucking lonely. i try to bury myself in work and going out as much as i can, but sometimes it hits me, and i dont know how to stand it anymore. i just want to be able to be kind to someone and treat them with all the love and affection i have, and not have to guard myself at the same time or be afraid of them or feel like i can never be sure with them. i think you've been lonely like that for a long time, too, and i dont have anyone who understands. i know the only advice you can give is probably "endure and continue to have self respect", but i dont know how to do that without also becoming small, and sad, and worn out from all the loneliness. if there's anything you can think of that helped you get through it, please tell me--i dont want to burden or overwhelm you, but i dont know what to do anymore, and like i said, you seem like you've survived a couple of those sorts of droughts and i dont have anyone else to talk to about this

so on those first few early dates with c when she was either driving an hour up north or I was taking the bus two hours down to see her, I was so rattled by the experience of building intimacy with someone else that I couldn’t really think of what we ought to do with each other on our dates. In the end I decided: we would just do what I ordinarily did to build intimacy with myself, which meant taking lots of long walks all over residential seattle. and I’d been living there for over ten years at that point, getting around either by walking or by bus. before that I’d lived in the sticks. before that I’d lived in the part of the sticks that wasn’t connected to the power grid. my earliest memories are long lonely walks. long lonely walks were my primary coping mechanism for debilitating post traumatic stress and survivor’s guilt. and with c it was wild because. it was exactly like going on these walks with myself, only I was more of myself and these walks were more of what they were. what’s more the internal map of the city I had built in my feet over a decade was suddenly of use. all of the time and neurons I had put into building it were relevant to the present situation.

i packed a backpack once. water and a cheeseboard with a little cheese knife and a can of prosecco and a can of kirin for c and lots of little cheeses and salamis and fruits and veggies and chocolate almonds. And I took c on a long meandering walk that I knew from memory; fremont to the crown hill cemetery to the stairs leading down to golden gardens to the beach at sunset. all places I’d been by myself and taken my friends to before. places I’d taken myself to after packing myself a snack and bringing my journal and quite literally staring across the water at a home that would kill me if I ever returned to it. all that time mattered. the time I had spent in that place making those friendships and mourning that life and building that intimacy with myself and the city mattered.

All the years before— giving, giving, gifts to those who could not care, would not give back. How well we made a feast together. Those years of waste were over.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

4/8/2024 eclipse notes

Overall it was a hopeful day for me despite the ever-looming sense of mourning. but the eclipse made it feel special. this eclipse was so mathematically rare because of the exact EXACT chiron conjunction. down to the minute. never experienced something so precise in my 15 yrs observing astrology.. i lit a candle for sammy & spent a while praying then did yoga n journalled outside as the eclipse waned. u couldnt see the full thing here but i saw a little ^.^

i've talked about chiron on the blog b4 but if ur not sure basically it's a major asteroid named after chiron the centaur, "The Wounded Healer". i feel that nickname sums up wat chiron's about, it's your deepest pain, isolation, rejection, & it's where your greatest potential to heal others (+yourself) can be brought forth. so chiron was turbo-activated today. it's digging up a lot of sh** for me truly. like this is rly crazy. but what i realized today is that i'm in the best place i've ever been to grieve, that was my eclipse revelation i spose.

and this is the most painful loss i have experienced in a loooong long time bcus this was someone i spoke to basically every day for the past year. but even then, i feel sm more equipped to get thru it , even if i feel rly quiet rn & not like myself, i kno it'll pass & i'll feel like i can be normal again. dnt feel much like posting rn but i'll get back to it eventually cus sammy rly loved my blog like sincerely i never felt embarrassed that he read my posts. although i do feel this is causing me another minor crisis over internet usage & how to exist online, i know i have to keep posting for sammy P..

yeah ahh the sadness comes in waves but im really glad i am where i am rn to process it all. it's weird to know this will impact my whole life going forward. it makes me think back to sain;t's death and how that changed the course of everything. except back then i was in the WORST environment to cope with it. it's so different now. saint's full name was saint chiron too !! so i always think of them when new chiron sky theatrics are happening. i'm like Awww Saint Wouldve loved writing a 10 paragraph introspective post about this ...They trained me in this manner :>

couldnt resist a late night ramble as i am ever so restless. tomorrow i have therapy for the first time since the day before denji ate a ziploc bag and got emergency surgery. i think that was like 3? weeks ago?? so basically i'm convinced time isnt real anymore because there's no way it hasn't been 3 months. rapid fire trauma lol o_o like please wonderful lord in heaven can we just pick, a struggle , one single struggle is enough. tysm. thats all for now.. trying not to scroll the dash because everything make me feel too crazy rn so pls dont think im ignoring u everyone Ok ilu.. gn

[hikari-writes]

If there's one trope i have a hard time imagining oikawa tooru being in, its best friend to lovers 🤔🤔

LIKE??? I always imagine tooru being the type who would never think of his best friend as anything more once he established that they're his best friend???

He would sometimes (a lot of times actually-) jokingly flirt with you but even then those are strictly platonic. People would see the both of you and think, ah yes, oikawa being annoying, nothing new there.

But just because i said i have a hard time imagining it, doesn't mean i hate it nor i can't imagine it at all. Quite the opposite actually. I find tooru in this trope to be quite fascinating.

Hear me out here okay?

Oikawa Tooru, who has been friends with you for god knows how long. The one who has been by your side through your every ups and downs, comforting you when you're sad, sharing your happy moments together, cheering you up to get your minds off of things that upset you.

Oikawa Tooru, who will literally drive how many hours to your house as soon as he knew you had a shitty week or if you had a failed relationship. The one who will, without fail, blackmail the person who made you feel like that and destroy them inside out.

Oikawa Tooru, who loves your smile more than anything in this world, and hates to see your tears more than anything in this world.

Oikawa Tooru, who finds his heart fluttering when you mentioned how lucky you were to have him by your side, or when you snuggled closer to him because of how comfortable it was and him finding his heart going up to his throat at the close proximity between you two.

Oikawa Tooru, who finds you so endearing and only wishes to hold you in his arms for as long as he can and pepper you with kisses and whisper i love yous into your ear.

Oh?

Are these feelings normal for him to have towards his best friend? The one who he’s spent years and most of his time hanging out with? No matter how you look at it, his feelings for you are definitely not just of a friend’s. 

Oikawa Tooru, who is only now realizing his feelings for you. How long has he been feeling this way? Probably way longer than he’d like to admit. Way, way longer.

Oikawa Tooru, who has fallen so helplessly in love with you, his best friend, but at the same time is unable to say it out loud in fear of ruining what you two have currently. He who fears the idea of getting rejected by his best friend, and never being able to show his face around you ever again.

Oikawa Tooru, who now finds the thin line that differentiates a friend and a lover so easy to cross, yet so hard. He has to consider what you feel towards him. It's all too risky no matter how simple it looks.

Maybe he'll move on from you one day. Or maybe he won't. But for now, he'll settle for the best friend title as long as he gets to stay by your side. And maybe, just maybe, holds a single, tiny bit of hope, that you would see him. Not as your best friend, but as something else. Something more affectionate and something more intimate. Something that's less platonic.

Until that day come however, he'll just have to accept his fate of being in love with his best friend, aka you.

Haha queued post again im so seory 😭🙏 i rlly said: today we contradicting ourself to make us look more like a clown yea 🤡 have a hard time imagining it then practically vmits out a whole ass imagines 🙄 but neways i had fun!! Writing for tooru is always such a pleasure i love him/p!!! Also this is totally so much longer than i anticipated im soery the idea was too good--

#CouGH see what i meant when i said i have a hard time imagining #i meant that like....as a general common trope for him? #like i think tooru fits smthng like #rivals or blind date or fake dating #smthng that doesnt involve him and u being friends in the first place u get #wat im sayinng? #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu oikawa tooru #haikyuu oikawa x reader #haikyuu oikawa tooru x reader #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa x y/n #oikawa x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu aoba johsai

[tillthelandslide]

Insufferable Arsehole Part 7: All I Need To Hear Instagram AU - Matty Healy Series

A/n: okay before we start, I've been getting a few anon comments in my asks about my Instagram AUs, specifically the ones apart of the Insufferable Arsehole series... (Briefly spoke about this when I posted part 4) buttttt Lots of people are saying that not all the photos relate to what happens in the specific chapter they correspond with... And that's correct, I've added a few photos that aren't WRITTEN about in the chapter, but it's supposed to represent what is going on around the same time, to add some depth to their relationship. Hope that's okay and makes sense. p.s i dont mind anon asks at all but im still a person, kindness doesn't cost anything

trumanblack:

trumanblack a gift from @thisislou how sweet... She acts like she hates me but she doesn't

Liked by thisislou, bedforddanes75 and 231,728 others

View all comments

thisislou ikr I'm such a good friend😉❤️

-> trumanblack oh yeah you're the best ✨friend✨

bedforddanes75 she doesn't get me presents so count yourself lucky

-> thisislou my ✨presence✨ is your present... See what I did there?

hater1 why is she so cocky? She's really not all that

-> hater2 literally 🤣

loufanpage omg we stan

1975fan love how she's on board the ratty train

75fan okay but they HAVE to be together now surely!!

thisislou:

thisislou a rare day off spent with my favourite guys ❤️

Liked by trumanblack, bedforddanes, rass1975 and 411,910 others

View all comments

fan1 omg guys i met them and they were the sweetest... they looked so happy and also matty was walking with his arm around lou it was adorable... I thought he was going to kiss her at one point

Liked by thisislou

trumanblack the best day🖤

-> thisislou with you 🖤

bedforddanes my best friends ❤️

-> thisislou love you ❣️

rass1975 look at them 🥹

75fan the golden trio 💛

fan1 I ship Lou x Matty so hard

fan2 okay but I need a friendship like G's and Lou's they've know each other for so long and they're still besties

Liked by thisislou

fan3 why does it feel like George was third wheeling

hater she's living the life I deserve, hate her more now

-> 75fan omg just stop this now it's just sad... Get a life

thisislou via stories:

thisislou:

thisislou @trumanblack you're alright i guess... i quite like your face

Liked by trumanblack, bandmate, bedforddanes75 and 671,819 others

trumanblack i happen to like your face too❤️

-> thisislou ❤️

fan1 okay... they must be together now... surely?

bandmate cute

hater1 god she's unbearable

-> bedforddanes75 kindly fuck off, thank you ☺️

75fan omg they were holding hands guys!!!! i saw them

-> lou75fan my friend saw them hugging!!

thisislou:

thisislou forever thankful for you @bedforddanes and everyone on the @the1975 team for supporting me and having my back , you know who you are and I love you all ❤️

Liked by trumanblack, rass1975, 1975adam, carly.rh, charli_xcx, jamieborne, jwaughsaxophone and 431,819 others

bedforddanes75 always got your back 🖤

-> thisislou my best friend, my brother, always. I love you

jamieborne family 🖤

trumanblack you're one of us now ❤️

-> thisislou 🥹❣️

rass1975 always here for you rockstar 🖤

-> thisislou right back at you Macdonald ❤️

jwaughsaxophone the kindest soul 💙

-> thisislou waughy 🥹❤️

1975adam you've got my back, I've got yours 🖤

-> thisislou always Hann ❤️

carly.rh families stick together 💜

-> thisislou there's truly no family better than this one ❤️

charli_xcx do I need to kill a bitch? 🔪

-> thisislou I love you... But no

loufanpage is everything okay?

75fan hope nothing happened for her to have posted this

-> the1975updates I think some fans were giving her hate unfortunately

Comments on this post have been restricted

the1975:

the1975 family 🖤

Liked by trumanblack, bedforddanes75, thisislou, 1975adam, rass1975, jwaughsaxophone and 431,127 others

Comments on this post have been restricted

thisislou 🖤

trumanblack the best family

bedforddanes75 family 🖤

rass1975 what a beautiful bunch of people

1975adam always and forever 🖤

jwaughsaxophone proud 🖤

the1975updates:

the1975updates a fan that met George, Matty and Lou today (who wants to remain anon) sent me this picture and said it's Lou's lock screen 🥹

View all comments

75fan omg 🥹

loufanpage be still my beating heart 💓

fan1 I actually can't deal... I need answers... Happy for them regardless but I need to know

fan2 they're really her boys aren't they

Liked by thisislou

fan3 how did they get access to this photo

-> the1975updates the power of us stans

loufanpage:

loufanpage okay... This picture is swarming my socials rn and lots of people (including the og poster) are saving it's Matty and Lou... This is quite zoomed in bc the og picture was taken from quite a distance away... Need to know if this is actually them because I can't deal if it is. My parents 💛

View all comments

75fan I'm pretty sure it is, her outfit is the same as the one she posted on her story ... They're so cute

fan1 there's pictures from other angles too which tbh low key annoys me bc yes we want to see them together bc they're freaking adorable but like... This was taken outside their hotel, give them some privacy

-> loufanpage yeah that's true, I mean these pictures make me so happy that's why I repost but I'd rather everyone just respected their privacy and wait until they're ready to announce it

fan2 so cute

mattyloushipper I'm so happy rn

#the 1975 fanfic #matty healy #the 1975 #matty healy x reader #ross macdonald #matty healy smut #the 1975 smut #george daniel #adam hann #matty healy fan fic #matty the 1975 #matty healy fake instagram #insufferable arsehole matty healy series #matty healy series

[prettyboykatsuki]

would you be comfortable sharing your bg3 ocs with us? i LOVE hearing and seeing other peoples ocs so much it inspires me to make them too

u always write reader personalities so amazing so ik ur ocs are just as good <3

WAH. YES. THANK U FOR ASKING. a lot of my ocs start out as fun self-inserts and then become... Something else. for bg3 in particular i normally play as my insert so they have the same face HEKJSDKJ. but they are ocs and they look diff in my brain i just dont care to change the face

oh my good GOD this is so long im so sorry. i guess this is my intro post for them now.thank u for asking me.. i love you... humbly presenting my little guys

CW FOR IMPLICATIONS OF INCEST (?) sort of in nyx's story. its complicated!! other than that just canon typical angst + drug use.

i have two main charas i consider more oc than insert. THE FIRST ONE IS MY BELOVED DARLING GIRLTHING SOULIKHA

goes by soul in camp, mid/late twenties, she/they pronoun haver, true neutral alignment, istj + 5w4

motifs ; black oleander, darkness and shadow, bones but not blood / decay, teals and purples and blues.

close with marisol, lae'zel and wyll. thinks astarion is a little sad and gets annoyed at mystra trying to demand death of gale.

she is a cleric of kelemvor and sacrificial survivor of a myrkul death cult. she escaped nearly dying at the age of 7 bc kelemvor saved her from near death.

she is not from baldurs gate!! she is from the outskirts of omorath but after escaping she lives on the streets.

the second time kelemvor comes to get her (nearly died in an alley) she becomes a cleric and returns to the city. joins the tower of skulls in omorath and does most of her work taking care of the diseased and guiding people in the fugue plane.

a Doomguide and part of a doom clergy.

she is originally darker skinned / tan but turns grey using her powers. when she blushes she becomes her original color lol

she ends up closer to baldurs gate on pilgrimage. she meets marisol (lambs oc) her best friend there.

she is a cleric of kelemvor, the god or judge of death. she tends to wear like a plague doctor sort of uniform and is very attached to a necklace she has that she prays over!! in general she prefers to be covered because she normally is response for helping the diseased as well as the deceased.

always wearing gloves for the same reason ^ special gloves that she has with her even after the kidnapping on the ship.

her personality is very blunt 😭and straightforward but never mean. she is just super direct and a little clueless about social cues... VERY HONEST LOL.

her main story arc is around her parents! like i mentioned she is a cleric of kelemvor but she spent her childhood in a death cult. in act one she hears rumor of a tiefling couple who worshipped myrkul being seen kidnapped on the towers to moonrise. in act two, her major scene, you have the choice on whether or not to kill or rescue her parents.

soulikha as a character puts her duty as a cleric above all else, even herself. she never expresses her feelings, never complains, just does as she believes is of expected to her. it gives her identity. up until this point, it's very rare to see her break down. this is the first scene where she makes a decision for herself

she also believes part of her job is assuring the people suffering die with the dignity and honor they deserve. part of this is because of her upbringing.

she also believes admantly in people dying when they are supposed to. as a cleric of kelemvor with particular favor of her god, she can hear whispers and regrets of death. the shadowfell lands are hard on her.

her main romance partner is karlach

her main romance with karlach has to do with touch and intimacy.

soulikha normally has her face covered and her body so if she were an origin and romance companion chara they'd be surrounding them but in her story she is dating karlach

karlach is soulikhas first love. they are tragic to me. soulikha is constantly telling karlach it's not her time and they often talk about death. she has a line to karlach:

"i will be there. when your soul burns brightest in the fugue plane, i will lead you. till the end of your life and in mine. my hand will find you. you will know its me."

she is shorter than karlach a bit. their whole romance is soulikha saying over and over that she knows karlach is bound to die, and comforting her through that.

but after the actual end of the game, soulikha cries for the very first time and begs karlach to live. it's the first time she ever says the words "i want you to live.) very heartbreaking

their ending is opening. ultimately soulikha wants to stay with karlach. they promise each other to live. the ending varies depending on other stuff but YEAH.

her bad ending is letting herself become myrkuls new chosen so karlach can have her heart back. fucking AWFUL ending gkdjsd theyre so sad.

OKAY. NEXT. IS MY OC NYX SORRY ABOUT THIS MOUTAIN OF TEXT.

this is nyx! no last name, he/him pronouns preferred, any fine. neutral evil allignment, late twenties. entp + 7w8

close with astarion + minthara. fond of jaehira. thinks wyll is fun and likes karlach. neutral to shadowheart and halsin.

nyx is not from baldurs gate either, explicitly from the city of calimshan, in manshaka. son of a common whore, born in a pleasure house.

tiefling with the blood graz'zt. this is relevant later. fdkjsdk.

learns music from the musicians in the pleasure house. naturally gifted. starts composing his own music at ten when one of this mothers regular customers gifts him a cli' lyre, enchanted with magic

has a complicated relationship with his mother. his mother is a prostitute but also very addicted to drugs. she wasn't motherly and often made advances on him when he grew up into puberty. his only family. when she was coming down the high, he would play her music to fall asleep.

practiced a lot on his own, other musicians taught him other instruments. very talented. most of his music and songs were about his one true love, roxana

roxana was another child of the house. they grew up together. she wasn't particularly talented but she was soft, kind, and beautiful. they both knew she would end up staying in the house, but nyx did try to protect her from customers when they were both underage.

roxana is full blooded human. she has a tattoo of roses down her spine that nyx dedicated one of his songs too and got matching trellis tattoos for. his most popular song.

his composition reached far and wide and he was offered many times to leave the pleasure house to perform. but he loved roxana and she often begged to say with him - so he never went. for her he'd do pretty much anything.

spent most of their lives together as lovers. first kiss at 13, lost their virginity to each other at 16/17, when they are in their early 20's nyx saves up to propose.

nyx is betrayed by roxana, though nyx by default does not care if Rrxana were to take lovers. 

because of nyx’s upbringing and roxana’s work, all nyx had ever asked Roxana for was to keep no secrets between them 

(growing up, roxana was naturally meek and often was in dangerous situations. Both because of this and because of his mothers commentary after she’d invited him for sex (“let’s keep this a secret between us,”). nyx had asked Roxana to never keep things from him, if she could.) 

roxana ultimately chooses another man over nyx, one she’d kept a secret. she’d told nyx that she couldn’t be with him anymore. That she wanted more from life, and that she would go with her new lover to see greater sights. 

“I loved her. Beautiful like a rosebed. I was a fool, of course. Only a fool forgets that the first rule to pick roses is dethorning them, lest they make you bleed.”

nyx sets off for college the same night. packs his belongings, says by to the pleasure house. his mother kisses on the cheek. he doesn't tell roxana about this

after that he commits to a life of debauchery at the college of swords. many flings and makes more music but never gets tied down despite peoples offers and efforts.

very charismatic in general and good at behaving in slimy and manipulative ways fhfksd. acts in self-interest.

very weak to soft and gentle women (hung up on his ex.... rip)

never ever mentions roxana by name even as an origin character. a lot of his story is about getting him to open up. he has a confrontation with his ex in act 3. his story is similar to astarion

in act one he hears rumor of a beautiful prostitute in the city who works the cities leaders and follows this. his main decision is meeting roxana again and deciding whether or not to forgive or save her

(you learn through the course of his story that roxana was never particularly good or honest to him, though it's not easy to figure out. the best ending to for him to save her but not take her back, the worst is dying for he)

his primary love interest is lae'zel !!

they have a silly and funny relationship at first. it starts as a sex thing but their tent is next to each other. lae'zel likes calling him a jester but loves his voice too.

he likes that she's very different from the women he dates. she's very harsh towards him but he also trusts she would never lie to him. he comforts her through the situation with vlaaktih and she in his story helps him realize that not everyone is out to betray him. he wants to love her and does.

he is SO affectionate towards her act three. she is constantly pissed she has romantic feelings for local emo clown

lae'zel having no propensity for manipulation and also being very honest is really refreshing for nyx. they have a minor age gap fdkfskjd

at the end of the story - nyx encourages lae'zel to travel and save their people. he makes a life for them in the city and writes hundreds of songs about her in her absence. they raise a gith child together

I HAVE MORE TO SAY BUT THIS IS PAINFULLY LONG. SHOWS YOU THIS ANDRUNS AWAY. PLEASE ASK ME QUESITONS IF U LIKE I LOVE ANSWERING Q'S FOR THEM. THANK U

#return to sender #oc: nyx #oc: soulikha #incest mention #KIND OF ITS COMPLIATED!!! BUT SAFETYT

[sirens-sanctuary]

ache

miguel o'hara x gn!reader

. TW!: miguel fluff, missing home, parent angst, crying ):

.

. i had another little thing i wanted to type out, was thinking about it last night, this isnt proofread like the last one- just typed up and posted~ more in the a/n!

. masterlist, rules, and taglist below~&lt;3

๑۞๑,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۩ ร𝓲ᖇᵉŇ. ๑۩ ,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۞๑ ๑۞๑,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۩ ร𝓲ᖇᵉŇ. ๑۩ ,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۞๑

today was a special day. miguel was here tonight. its been so long since hes spent the night with you. Hes always away saving the multiverse, in and out of your apartment- just to stay and watch over you as you slept. him being away takes a lot out of you...but you were used to it. Used to important people leaving you, coming and going out of your life. But miguel has an excuse, he has more important things to do than stay locked up in your lonely apartment- so its okay. thats what you tell yourself...

you two were laying on your small couch, miguels legs hanging off the arm as hes two big to fit properly (big ahh sexy man), you were laying on top of miguel. your ear to his chest, enjoying the rising and falling as he breathes slowly and calmly, listening to to the muffled and steady beating of his heart. you could listen to it all day. the warmth from his large hands resting on your back, bringing a familiar feeling of safety and comfort. the movie you were watching was one of your favorites, you watched it all the time whenever youre feeling alone. the patter of miguels heart was pulling you into a state, it brought back a memory for you. a good one, you think. you indulge in the memory allowing yourself to be taken back.

you were younger, 7 or 8 years old maybe? you were laying on the couch with your dad, relaxing and watching a trashy film. you were laying on his chest, laughing wildly at the scene on tv, while he draped an arm over you, half asleep but jolting everytime you laugh, smiling gently down at you before being stolen by sleep again. he was a busy man, working all night and into early hours of the morning, doing enough to make sure you and your siblings were okay before going to sleep. It was good. a good memory. you miss him. You love him?.

you were pulled out of your memory by miguel rubbing your shoulder. he asked if you were okay?.. okay? am i ok? you started sobbing. tears staining his shirt. miguel sits the both of you up and scoops your face up. he asked whats wrong. you told him. told him more than what you needed to. he rubbed your cheeks from the tears that littered them and kissed each. he hugged you. nice and tight. safe and warm. you never wanted to leave. you knew you would have to. you cried more. tired of people leaving.

you didnt stop crying. well you did- but only because you fell asleep during it. you needed to cry. youre tired of keeping the flood gates up. somethings gotta give. you gave. youre tired of giving. miguel stayed and held you the entire time. hes there for you. always. he built his arc and survived the flood. he'd do it a million times over. he would swim in your flood just for you. he doesnt care if hes drowns. he'll figure it out. Just for you. Always for you. You need it. You deserve it...

๑۞๑,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۩ ร𝓲ᖇᵉŇ. ๑۩ ,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۞๑ ๑۞๑,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۩ ร𝓲ᖇᵉŇ. ๑۩ ,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۞๑

.

. a/n: this is actually a memory i had a while back and thought itd be something to build upon for a fic- i hope its not too sad omg im sorry if it is

.

.

masterlist | rules | taglist

#miguel o'hara #miguel ohara x reader #miguel spiderman #x reader #fanfiction #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel ohara fluff #miguel x reader #miguel x you #the miguel effect #spiderman 2099 #2099 #angst #miguel ohara angst #dads #i cried making this lorddd

[did-i-mention-the-shirt]

okay okay yes i KNOW i should be writing my fanfic BUT

Community characters as AJJ songs bc it's my favorite show and favorite band :] (If you want anyone added, feel free to ask!) Jeff Winger - Brave As A Noun. Okay, hear me out. This song not only applies to him lyrically but also shares the energy he has in the later seasons. He's just forcing himself to be satisfied with a life he doesn't really want, but also doesn't hate, is very season six finale. That is very much BAAN.

Britta Perry - Dissonance. It really has her energy. From the pilot to the finale, it fits her consistently despite her major character change. She is not put together. She hates herself because everyone's told her to. Britta is the best, but no one sees that. Not even herself. The only people who treated her with respect were the people she spent the least amount of time with! Think about it, she's had - what? - One touching scene with Duncan and Pierce each? She deserves more.

Abed Nadir - Goodbye, Oh Goodbye. Just listen to the song and you'll agree. This is mostly because of Troy's departure or in Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas. Whenever he has to confront his emotions, he has this distance between himself and everyone else. The opening lines, "I was thrown onto the ground/I was locked inside a basement/The guards went on vacation while I plotted my revolt." really, really, REALLY reminds me of 'Virtual Systems Analysis' when Annie's talking to Abed in the mind locker. It's a sad song, but it really fits him. The line "It's nothing like the nothingness that normally numbs one pain" is very clearly related to Troy. He got so used to Troy, and he never took him for granted, but Troy became a constant. He was Abed's anchor, and now he's gone.

Annie Edison - No one. This is Annie, particularly as the Ace of Hearts in 'A Fistful Of Paintballs'.

Troy Barns - A Big Day for Grimley. It's giving post-sea voyage Troy. He's changed, he's traumatized, and he's a little bit alone. He's proud of himself but is full of regret. What happened to Abed? He doesn't know.

Pierce Hawthorne - People Ii: The Reckoning. THIS IS PIERCE!!! Now, many of you know I love Pierce, so if you don't then you might not agree with this choice lmao

Pierce is sad. He is so sad. In Britta's words, he has spent so long looking out for himself, but he would give it all up for a shot at a family. He never gets that family. The study group never fully accepts him, despite his efforts and his becoming a better person with their help. Even Annie, the nicest to him in the group, seems to see him as a project or something. Like, he's just some old racist, homophobic old man, and not someone with 60+ years of trauma that he gradually works through with the help of his friends. He gains a brother. He defends the LGBTQ+ community. He wants nothing more than to be close to Jeff. And he dies alone.

So, yeah. "Here's to you Mrs. Robinson, people love you more, oh nevermind."

Dean Craig Pelton - Human kittens. No, I don't know why. Someone needs to give him a hug (Jeff).

Ben Chang - Dipping Things In Stuff. I don't know, he's batshit. He wants love though, just like the rest of us. This is very seasons 5/6 of Chang, I believe.

Buzz Hickey - Hate, rain on me. Tired, nihilistic, and praying for hope. I really like this song for him.

Elroy Patashnick - Normalization Blues. Don't ask me why. It works.

Ian Duncan - Fucc The Devil. Sad, distant, desperate, and hallow. But enough about Duncan. This song is the perfect example of, "I have what I want. Why am I still not okay?" which is what Duncan faces a lot. "I wanna go away for a while/Away for awhile/Because the things that I have seen/Are turning me into a shitty human being." Look me in the eyes and tell me that's not Ian. This man deserves so much more then people will let him have. Don't get me wrong, he's awful. But aren't we all, just a little bit?

Frankie and Shirley are too sane for this band im sorry to them

#Community #community nbc #sitcoms #abed andir #jeff winger #britta perry #dean craig pelton #ben chang #shirley bennett #pierce hawthorne #troy barnes #ian duncan #buzz hickey #frankie dart #elroy patashnik #annie edison #masterlist #community masterlist #music #ajj #andrew jackson jihad

[brookheimer]

OKAY i have gotten many many asks about this so!!! my much awaited predictions for/speculation on this ep!!!

(barely a prediction ljke this is just known fact at this point) rome gets beaten up by a rally which, like, deserved lol

the obvious jess prediction is that she's quitting but who knows cuz jesse loves his curveballs

been too long since we’ve had meaningful ewan content so i’m betting on a ewan speech. also i said this in a prev post but i think that if we're going to get any rose lore at all then it has to be this episode and i'm an optimist so i'm saying we get some rose fucking lore!!! if we do it'll prob be from ewan esp if he gives a speech so: ewan gives a speech and we finally learn more about rose

look. it has been four episodes since kendall signed off on the logan smear campaign. it has been three episodes since logan smear campaign was mentioned (shiv brings it up to the brothers briefly in kill list, like 'uh hey guys im getting word some outlets are gonna release anti-logan reports are you on top of this' or something and ken was like uhhhh uh huh im sure it's fine Anyways The Deal etc). it has got to come back some point, and just dramaturgically speaking, what better way to drum up conflict at a funeral than same-day news stories coming out about how terrible of a person the deceased was? and if anything were to send rome over the edge and turn his eulogy into a category 5 disaster, it would be everyone in the world suddenly finding out logan physically abused him throughout his entire life (or maybe he just finds out those news stories r gonna break even if they actually come out next ep or smth). so. there's nothing to back this one, just pure speculation, who knows, BUT: possibly an update on logan smear campaign that ken initiated in e4 (either news comes out or the roys hear about it early like cruise scandal or something) and rome handles it, like, really well (sarcasm. obviously) OH or or or maybe rome does his Logan Is Great I Love Him So Much Aren't I A Bit Like Him eulogy and then like an hour later it comes out that logan fucking hated rome's guts and spent his whole life beating him or something lollllll #awkward

not really a prediction here either, just, like, obvious succession stuff -- the deal will continue being A Prominent Thing even during the funeral 100%. mattson is totally going to try and wheel n deal and talk business w shiv during the funeral, the bros r gonna keep trying to stop it, etc; being a roy does not stop just because dad's corpse is in front of you!

trying to think of what other threads i'm forgetting... OH i think tom sleep deprivation arc will keep being a thing because like that's just how sleep deprivation works man. the only way to stop being sleep deprived is to sleep and god fucking knows he doesn't after the election when he's public enemy #1 for every single news organization in the country. so yeah tom is going to be so eepy it's not even funny. like it literally won't be funny it'll just start getting sad and concerning

OH ELECTION lol yeah no absolutely nothing is decided, mencken is not Actually President yet guys lol. a news org can't just declare the president that easily. there's still bureaucratic processes to go through. my money's on a veep situation (altho in veep the votes were lost not burned so they ended up finding them and doing a recount) -- congress decides (and also maybe there's a revote in wisconsin or something? again veep was recount so idk) and that will probably be a long fucking process

not a prediction so much as a hope: MASSIVE cunt serving by caroline, marcia, ewan, and stewy

OH EDIT — kenrava fight bc ken basically chose racism over his daughter so… lollll

ok i prob have more thoughts because i'm me and i always have more thoughts but i need to go finish this fucking final lol

#succession #succession spoilers #not really but i tag it this anyways #succession speculation #long post

[cubicle-eyes]

Lock and Key

Eddie Munson x M!Reader

Requested! Sorry it took so long!

" HIIIII! You'd be very wise to ask for an Eddie Munson x Male Reader, where the reader is pretty quiet and hardly knows how to socialize. However, is Eddie the first person who has the guts to talk to him? and maybe they both feel some connection kdufieigika 🫢 "

I changed the request a LITTLE BIT, because I had some motivation, and I hope you don't mind!! 🥺 Its set up as a headcanon-y thing, since I lost all motivation on my uncalled for absence from the internet foe awhile. However, since I hit 150 followers, in gonna post dump on here. Thanks for your request, and thank everyone for the follows! 💙 Again im so sorry if you dont like it. You can request ANYTHING again and ill do it straight away 💞

- Y/N was definetly the kind to have an entore notebookd edicated to their crush

- With doodles, love notes, and stickers spread across the entire book.

- Y/N had the book for about a month, lying on his nightstand, empty, until he had met Eddie.

- And then, a single sticker adorned the first page. A small, golden star; under it, Y/N had written, in small writing, "Eddie"

- And then it was like the notebook was filling itself.

- Y/N constantly wrote random messages to himself in the book, and then he wrote messages to Eddie, and then he wrote messages about love in general.

- And all of that over a few days.

- Of course, Y/N made an effort to steer himself away from the metalhead.

- And Eddie was sad about that. :(

- And he kept telling himself, "hes just shy. Hes just scared. Youre making him uncomfotable, dont do that."

- But it was hard to keep track of all the times Y/N would shy away from his touchy affection

- So Eddie cornered him in an empty classroom, like every romcom goes

- "Am I doing something wrong?"

"Wh.. What??"

"You- You're always avoiding me, or not reciprocating.. things, and I'm just- confused."

- Y/N felt his heart melt at that, despite Eddies worried face.

- And Eddie melted when he saw Y/N visibly relax.

- "No, it's not you Eddie. I'm just.. not used to this."

"..This?"

"I just- Really like you."

Y/N sighed, and turned his face away. He felt tears well on his lower lid at the silence, and he brought his elbow up to wipe at his eyes with his sweater as no more words filled the room.

He looked up, finally meeting Eddie's shocked expression. He mindlessly was pulling at the end of hia hair.

- "Dont do that. You pull to hard and you'll be bald."

The mood didnt  really lighten, despite Y/N's half-hearted attempt at humor.

- "Are you.. are you serious?"

Eddie finally asked, doe eyes glancing away to a window. It was almost four now, and the second to last bus was being loaded outside. Y/N shoved the black notebook into his hands, barely minding the heat on his neck.

"I'm serious...and I'm sorry if what youre looking at creeps you out or something. I swear im not stalking you or anything it's just-"

- "This is for me? You made this about me?"

Eddie grinned slightly, looking up at Y/N. He nodded, feeling a bit more relaxed.

"Stalker."

Eddie said affectionately, setting the book down on a desk and pulling Y/N to his chest carelessly. Y/N flushed, gripping onto him. Eddie placed a light kiss on Y/N's cheek, testing the waters, and Y/N turned his head, letting the metalhead peck his lips this time.

- "I'm just glad you don't hate me."

"What!? I would never."

Y/n laughed, pulling away and grabbing the book and Eddie's hand to lead them out of the school. the rest of the night was spent at Eddie's trailer, cuddled up and watching scary movies.

- And soon, a notebook joined Eddie's nightstand, too.

#IM BACK YALL #stranger things #stranger things eddie #stranger things eddie munson #eddie munson x y/n #eddde munson #stranger things x you #stranger things x male reader #stranger things x reader #fanfiction #stranger things x trans reader #writing #eddie munson #eddie #munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson is gay

[kozykricket]

every time someone mentions celeste or i watch someone play celeste or i play celeste i am just reminded of how much of a masterpiece the game is. like... i just. every little bit of it is perfect, from the major stuff like yknow, music, character writing, and wonderful pixel art, the great level design (!!! really great !!!) to the smaller things like sound effects/jingles... visual effects like squishysquishy madeline.. and like, the whole "mountain as a metaphor for stresses and anxiety" i dont think can ever be captured in as perfect of a way as celeste does it (long post, i figured this needs a Keep Reading?)

like, i feel like not only does the music set the tone and mood alongside the writing, but the level design works in tandem with it so well too. the absolute atmosphere of reflections always catches me off guard, like... confession: i still can't really relate to the identity aspects of it, though i can very clearly see them in celeste. but as someone who has experienced a lot of anxiety in life, i can relate so heavily to it all, and... just, the way the music sets the tone, especially in places like chapter 2, 3, 5, 6, and 7. (and of COURSE 9 but i could make a separate post on ch9) why not ch4? well, i think 4 is just a nice solid break after the intensity of chapter 3, which is refreshing. it stands out, but in a nice way. i really, really find that the game can just. bring out FEELINGS in me more than any other game can. i mean okay, games can make me sad, or put a smile on my face, but theres more... complex feelings, that i can barely put words to, that i feel from the music, like after you've just fallen in reflections. the ... hopelessness, almost despair, with a touch of ominousness, and... questioning, almost, of if anything was worth it. the hopefulness of the summit climb music, the uncomfortable feeling of the mirror temple music when you're in the mirror that feels like the musical equivalent of bugs crawling all over you, slowly turning into just. lost, quiet, helplessness and like. god. im not a masterful musical-analysis-person but. i FEEL like its fair to say that the entirety of the farewell ost really feels like its telling a story, one of... so many different emotions, which is so fitting, considering how complex the feeling of saying farewell can be. i. genuinely cant put to words the way that tracks like reflections and most of farewell make me feel, because singular emotions dont seem to be fitting descriptions. and i feel like no gimmick in levels ever stays for too long without introducing a new one or new combination of gimmicks. its a game where i CAN indeed be proud of my death count, knowing that it means im learning, because. death isnt frustrating and.... playing mods, ive realized even more about how unique the level design can be... some levels are more about understanding rooms and doing things in the correct order, some are about precision, and yet... it feels like the best levels... are somehow designed in a way that even the most complex rooms can just. guide you through them, like you're doing a duet with the level itself, as objects fall into place for later, etc. (midnight monsoon from strawberry jam is a good example) theres just so much greatness in celeste i know i spent like half the post on the music, but i could also spend that much time talking about how perfect the level design and difficulty curve is. the game feels like it naturally teaches you how to get better at it, without ever getting too frustrating. im not saying there isnt spikes in the difficulty the first time through, but ill say those spikes feel like they make sense, and they... well, the game does good at training you and then putting you to the test. it does well at teaching you without saying much. at most, a crow will say "press x to dash here!"

and honestly? i still feel like im hitting post too early here. i... love the game so much, and i cant put it into super coherent words. i feel like i. can never truly capture how much i love it. some games just do that to you. maybe i can capture how much i love it, but not... how much of a masterpiece it is. like yes, okay, i love it, but. its also... so much more than just a Good Game. I... think I'll hit post. maybe one day, ill write my thoughts on the game in a more coherent fashion, but. i think i get my message across here :P (it makes me almost kinda. frustrated. when i cant fully get whats on my mind down in words. like i KNOW theres more... that i cant quite pull outta my brain rn)

#celeste #jake ramblings

[uriekukistan]

choso and/or megumi? :)

im so. i just spent so long typing this out only for the page to crash and delete everything i said. why does tumblr HATE ME anyway thank you for the ask i’ll try to remember everything i said the first time 😭

choso!!

favorite thing about them: his relationship with itadori is so cute! such a good brother! his facial expressions are so cute and silly! literally found out itadori was his brother and went “okay i’ll die for u now”

least favorite thing about them: the fact that they robbed him of his sick shoes in the anime. maybe something else will come up in the future but for now that’s it

favorite line: i got two! *in a life or death situation* can u just call me onii chan like once please please please please (paraphrasing), *facing kenjaku after finding out that they’re his dad and yuuji’s mom* “hey little bros look at this im gonna kill our parent

brOTP: gotta go w yuuji since they are in fact bros. his relationship w mahito is so silly to me tho, and i’d love to see him interact with todo!

OTP: i dont really have one. rn i think he’s too focused on his brothers to think abt that

nOTP: its not a no for me per se just that i think choso and yuki are very one sided. yuki clearly likes him but he’s too focused on yuuji rn

random headcanon: i can see him having a long skincare routine with a fluffy hairband

unpopular opinion: i think he is frequently mischaracterized in the name of fitting ppl’s sexual fantasies about him. ofc im all for having fun but i noticed it does impact broader perceptions of his character sometimes. could say this about any jjk man tho.

song i associate with them: mmmm maybe sunflower by post malone, don’t have a reason for it buy yea

favorite picture of them: have two

MEGUMIIIII

favorite thing about them: he is me i am him we are the same. realistic depiction of what it is like to be abandoned by your parental figure and then be told you’re “special” for some reason and now too much is expected of you but you never wanted this in the first place. i could raise him so well let me adopt him. I Will Take Care Of Him.

least favorite thing about them: can’t. that’s my son.

favorite line: soooo many but i think about “so start by saving me itadori” DAILY. hourly even.

brOTP: love his relationship with kugisaki. would love to see him with yuuta more for purely self indulgent reasons that are not related to my dancers au….

OTP: obviously gotta go with ITAFUSHI i could talk abt them for hours. a brain virus fr they’re everything to me.

nOTP: 🧑‍💻 megumi & sukuna, megumi & toji, megumi & gojo, megumi & mai, etc. i try not to yuck other ppls yum but uh. i couldn’t even decide which of these was worst.

random headcanon: uhhh this ones a sad one, but i think before gojo came along, he and his sister were starving (compared to other characters shown as kids he looks much bonier), so even into adulthood, he has a hard time gaining weight from the effects of childhood malnutrition and as a result, is a bit less physically strong than he could potentially be (still very strong tho)

unpopular opinion: you already know what im gonna say. most overhated character in jjk. yall need to get off his back before i get violent im so serious rn everything he does is a perfectly valid reaction to the trauma he’s been through since he was literally a toddler

song i associate with them: i got so many…recently been thinking of dreams of losing teeth by suave punk & moon i already know by mount eerie the most

favorite picture of them: soo many…unhinged megumi vs pocket sized gumi i cant pick

#not tagging bc uhhhh jjk fans scary #dont like sharing my ‘controversial’ jjk opinions

[childotkw]

whats ur opinion on canon harry post epilogue? idk, some people say that he will be happy now that he can finally live a normal boring life, but my personal take is that he would also *think* that, yet sort of not be able to "sit still" after some time? like, you spend all this time running at any trouble you see and also running for your life, i feel like it wouldnt be as easy to settle down afterwards. although im not a big fan of the wizard cop ending he got, i feel like itd make sense if that was the context - that it was his easiest way to get back more of the "life or death battle vs dark magic" feeling that was his life for so long. what do you think?

I'm of the opinion that while Harry desperately wants the white-picket fence ending, he'd never be able to settle into it. His whole generation would struggle, but Harry in particular, I think.

He spent months being hunted like an animal, went through a war, died, had his soul ripped apart (because ain't no way the horcrux separated from him gently) and then came back to life just to fight some more. That would leave it's mark, and I think he'd be so desperate to 'fit the model' of the perfect life he wants afterwards that it would lead to him just being dissatisfied and upset.

That's why I don't actually mind him becoming an auror. For me, with the above context, I completely understand why he'd go into the field.

At first, it was probably to help with the clean up - he'd want to make sure all the remaining Death Eaters were rounded up and that things could transition into peace successfully. Make sure the ministry does its job, etc.

But the rush of the fights would be a bit addicting to someone who was raised in that sort of environment, and Harry would probably just...never leave the auror department as a result. He'd want to help people, to save them, and being an auror gives him that opportunity. I also think the ramifications of having the horcrux ripped out of his soul left Harry...not okay mentally. Especially in the first few years.

Being an auror would have given him a tangible goal to work at. It would have been active, something he could get his hands on and see the direct impact of his actions on the world.

The only way I see him settling after the war would be when he's much older - and by that point he'd be the head of the dmle and would feel too responsible to just walk away from the job.

It's...sad. But unfortunately a very realistic fate in my eyes.

#anonymous #HP #harry potter #personal opinion