#15.18 coda

[liapher]

as requested, the fic recs for @thecascast

Cas-centric fic recs with little to no Dean POV

Sorted more or less by season. Apologies if any of these contain trace amounts of Dean POV

seedlings (gi09) -- a brief moment in s4 -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/27491650

So Says the Sword (komodobits) -- (look I'm sure you've all read this one anyway but I didn't want to skip it) -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/12597892/chapters/28695592

The Cuckoo Father (anactoria) -- 7.17 but Cas gets ID'ed as Jimmy and returns to the Novaks -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/5614744

the doorway to a thousand churches (sonatine) -- 8.17 goodbye stranger :))) -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/31905883

Rinse, Repeat (Ias) -- 8.17 training montage -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/750017

Telephone Game (Annie D)  -- another short s8 lobotomy fic :) -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/682326

a place for the left behind (marloesy) -- s9 rewrite, Dean drops Cas off at a hunter's lodge. one of the few long fics on this list!! -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/32710105/chapters/81149371

shelter (howevernot) -- s9 human Cas -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/32247688

laying on of hands. (outpastthemoat) -- 9.06 coda -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/1058765

There's a science to walking through windows (marxandangels) -- I'm sure you already know this one. 9.06 -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/30375123

Adaptation (cadignan) -- 9.06 -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/1047347

sink (crackers4jenn) -- I swear this is the last 9.06 fic -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/1046327

stars round his wrists (perilously) -- 11.10 coda, Lucifer POV of the Casifer possession -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/5796175

white chalk baphomet (bmblb) -- 11.11 coda -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/31946323

Get Out In Times of Declared Emergency (Jayne L) -- post Casifer -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/6813187

back after these messages (perilously) -- 11.18 coda -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/6496921

White Noise (domesticadventures) -- 11.18 post-possession coda -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/6491161

Cuckoo and Nest (komodobits) -- 🥺😫 -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/8423959

First Reckoning (xylodemon) -- early s12 Mary meeting Cas -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/8233262

Star of the Sea (ExpatGirl) -- another Mary POV fic of Mary and Cas meeting -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/7930114

to the child (a_good_soldier) -- Cas & Mary talk, Dadstiel! -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/32353489

Twenty Questions (PallasPerilous) -- Cas and Sam talk -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/17675318

weights on my ankles (dothraki_shieldmaiden) -- 9.06 angst in the middle of 15.03 angst hohey :) -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/21181697

First Date (aeli_kindara) -- 15.14 coda -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/27185362

The River (hal_incandenza) -- 15.09 rewrite -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/33639964/chapters/83595943

in a week (renrub) -- 15.18 coda, Cas in the Empty -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/27561418

ain't that the worst thing you ever heard? (everytuesday) -- 15.18 -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/27781771/chapters/68009917

Kingdom Come (ahurston) -- 15.18 coda -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/27510970/chapters/67273813

Like Real People Do (prosopopeya) -- post 15.18. well well well if it isn't the consequences of Cas's actions -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/27439753

you got a lonesome road to walk (straddling_the_atmosphere) -- 15.18 coda, in the Empty -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/27635218

what you know is true (remmyme) -- laundry time. I love when fic romanticizes household chores -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/27651670

The Love Story of the Runner Up (Margo_Kim) -- I think this is another fic everyone definitely has read. Outsider POV -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/28217919

AH. So many of these are in the 1k--15k range. Where are the Cas-centric longfics!

Also! While I'm at it! In the last ep, you mentioned the angel ozone smell that's brought up in a lot of fics (I googled ozone smell when I first happened upon that description in a fic, and the results ranged from 'basically petrichor' to 'like a swimming pool' (chloride???) so idk). Anyway---I like fics where angels are weird and of otherworldly and have strange effects on their environment (other than leaving a faint scent of petrichor), so here are also a couple fics with that:

Hell is a Place on Earth (pollutedstar) -- Mary POV -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/25873384

Angels Americana (pollutedstar) -- s4/5, Dean POV -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/26098816

stranger (ozonecologne) -- more Mary POV -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/7582681

Five times Mary Winchester tried to wrap her head around Castiel, Angel of the Lord, and one time she didn’t (karoffelbrei89) -- I mean, the title really does say it all -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023084

take the bones, begin anew (JustStandingHere) -- post-canon. lots of Dean POV I think, but ahhh Cas and Dean are raising a young half-angel. so. -- https://archiveofourown.org/works/31364132/chapters/77558561

(Also I hear there's this fic that has really good Cas POV scenes and angel lore etc called Down to Aginc---)

💙

#i rarely talk about my blog out loud but i would pronounce my username ˈlɪʌfɘ˞ but i was curious what you'd come up with ✨ #tumblr account names you pick in 2011 and are then too lazy to change... #supernatural

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

To Rip and To Sew

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/SQPXKBs by Chthon [Castiel has known suffering, but until this moment he has not understood agony. He clutches his phone and seeks out the first name, always the first name present— "Dean."] Castiel gets kneed in the balls by a twelve-year-old. This is his elegy. Words: 6316, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, Original Female Character(s) Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: POV Castiel (Supernatural), Human Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel Learns to be Human (Supernatural), Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Helpful Dean Winchester, Testicular Self Exam, First Kiss, Castiel Deals With Human Pain, Implicit Jealousy, Awkward Flirting, Mixed Signals Dean Winchester, Castiel Comes Out (Supernatural), Reference To 15.18 Despair, Angst, Coda, kind of read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/SQPXKBs

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #(your tags here)

[dothwrites]

15.18 coda--the best of things

The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

---

There’s something. 

This is significant because, for as long as Castiel can remember, there’s been nothing. 

The Empty alternates between shoving him forcefully into sleep and yanking him out of it, just so he can experience the full horrors of wakefulness. He wanders and doesn’t know if he’s walking, screams and listens as his cries are swallowed by the darkness. He pulls at his hair just to feel, but even that bright pain is muted. 

I want you to suffer, the Empty had warned, and so far, it’s lived up to its promise. No, he doesn’t regret anything, he’d make the same decisions time and again, as long as they led him here, but he can’t deny that he is suffering. 

It would be better if he could somehow quench the little gutter of light and warmth that still resounds in his chest, but he can never quite manage to do so. Somehow, it still beats, giving him purpose, allowing him to set his compass by its enduring beat. 

And somehow, impossibly, there’s finally something for it to latch onto. 

Castiel walks forward, feeling the sensation of movement for the first time since he can’t remember when. His steps quicken as he runs towards the something, towards something that he almost forgot. 

He doesn’t know how long he’s been here, how many centuries have passed. Time ceased to have meaning a long time ago, and in between bouts of sleeping and waking, Castiel forgot the knack of telling it. Now, he remembers, along with other long forgotten concepts such as fatigue and hope. 

His long neglected heart beats then, violently, with enough force to send him staggering. Castiel runs faster. 

If he were human, if this were earth, then the breath would be tearing out of his lungs. As it is, he feels a ripping in his chest, like he’s shredding apart from the inside out. He feels like a piece of paper torn in half, and he doesn’t know how much of him will be left by the end, but he continues to sprint forward. 

There’s something up ahead. 

A faint golden glimmer, a thread of hope so slender that if he thinks about it too long then he’ll shatter. It twists and turns in front of him, so far in the distance as to almost be a mirage. 

But for once, there is distance. 

Castiel forces his legs to keep moving, even as the pain claws through his chest, ripping into his very essence. Every step brings him the worst pain he’s ever known, but he doesn’t dare to stop. He keeps his eyes fixed on the golden line, now guttering as though it’s struggling to survive. With every step, memories flood back to him. 

The scent of coffee in the mornings when he would start a fresh pot before Dean and Sam awoke. 

The smell of leather and gasoline as he sat in Baby’s backseat. 

The feel of blood and grit underneath his fingernails. 

The salt and butter molecules of popcorn exploding across his tongue as he watches yet another inane movie starring a young Harrison Ford. 

The clear sound of Charlie Bradbury’s laughter. 

The whiff of sulfur that followed Meg, the crisp ozone of Hannah, the tang of what he was informed was an ‘84 and not 19, you have no taste, Cassie, by Balthazar. 

The rough flannel of Bobby Singer’s shirt. 

The whisper of Eileen’s fingers moving through 

The fragile strength of Jack, warm through his jacket as Castiel hugged him for the last time. 

The warmth of Sam’s arm slung around his shoulders, the steadiness of him, the unwavering loyalty, the brightness of his smile and joy of his friendship. 

Dean. 

Dean. 

Dean. 

Breath finally tears out of him as he sprints, pushing legs which refuse to move faster to fly. The golden tear glows in front of him, the only bright thing in an eternity of nothing. He has to reach it. He has to. 

A scream rips out of his chest as he stumbles his way forward. By now the pain is almost overwhelming, obliterating everything else except the most basic desire for survival, but he can’t give up, he can’t, he can’t--

Even in Hell, Dean’s soul glowed like a beacon, even when he lost hope he was still the most beautiful thing Castiel had ever seen. The smoke and whiskey smell of him, the strength and gentleness of his hands, the rumble of his laugh, the rasp and growl of his voice, the careful way he handled delicate things, the light in his eyes as he would look at Sam and Jack, the sheer love he’d seen shining out of his soul--

With a desperate cry, Castiel launches himself forward, straining towards the beautiful golden tear. 

His hand goes through the rip in the world and for a second, there’s nothing, nothing, nothing--

Strong fingers grab his wrist and pull. 

It feels like being tugged through quicksand, the Empty finally realizing that something is wrong and seizing onto him. Darkness covers him, and Castiel can’t see anything, can’t scream, can’t hear. All he knows is the strength of the grip around his hand, the fierce flare of hope in his chest even amidst the ripping pain. 

No, he thinks, with all the force left to him, no, I want--

Something finally bursts in his chest, and he thinks he screams, though he doesn’t hear any sound leave his mouth. Instead, he’s pulled, shredded, torn apart, eviscerated, and then, and then--

There’s light and sound and sensation and touch and smell and taste and a thousand different things like gravity and mass and body and Castiel can only gasp, helpless as a newborn as his sightless eyes blink through all the light. 

He’s shivering, cold and aching, and he’s never felt this kind of pain before, but it’s glorious. He wouldn’t give up feeling like this for anything, the sunburst of agony flaring through his body as he tries to sort through his senses to try and understand where he is. 

Something warm and soft settles over his shoulders and it’s then that Castiel becomes aware of his body, down to his toes and fingers and the tip of his nose. Naked, he thinks, somewhat innocuously, that’s why i was cold. 

Then the larger realization comes, which is, if he was naked, that means that he has a body to be unclothed. 

With a final blink, sight returns, though it’s unreliable. Smears of color appear and disappear from his vision, too quickly for him to hope to make sense of them. Sound returns, in deep rumbles like he’s underwater. Stop, he tries to say, let me just wait a second, but his voice doesn’t seem to work. He opens his mouth and all that emerges is a pathetic sounding croak. 

Syllables garble above him and then something cool and hard is pressed to his mouth. Cold and wet explodes over his lips and tongue, and Castiel thinks Water. 

It’s never tasted this good before. 

He gulps greedily until the glass is taken from him. He whines, wanting more, but his wordless request is denied. Touch explodes over his cheeks, his neck, and shoulders, and Castiel struggles to make sense of it. He would like to rest in the comfort of those hands, but they’re gone before he can process their being there at all. 

The sound coalesces into a single word, and Cas blinks, stupefied. He knows that word. More importantly, he knows that voice. 

He tries to force his rusted voice to work, but only a low croak comes out. Frustrated, he licks his lips and tries again, putting all of his force into the word. 

“Dean?” 

Touch returns to his cheeks and this time, it stays. He blinks again, and the haze in front of his eyes clears, and he can finally see that face, familiar and beloved. 

“Dean?” he asks, sure that he must be dreaming, even though the Empty never allowed him to do so. Perhaps this is a hallucination, a cruel manifestation of his hopes, perhaps he’s still there, in all that nothing, and this is no more than a dream--

“Cas, stay with me,” Dean says, his voice urgent and worried. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you, I’ve got you.” His voice breaks on the last repetition and warmth envelops Castiel. 

A hug. Dean is hugging him, somewhat fiercely, if the lack of air in his lungs is to be trusted. 

Castiel blinks, surprised. He’s never needed air before. Come to think of it, he’s never needed water either. 

He shifts underneath the blanket, careful not to dislodge Dean’s arms from around his body. His palm presses flat against his chest. Underneath it, he can feel his heart, beating steady and strong. 

“Human?” he asks, blinking in wonder. 

Dean’s arms release him, though they take a long time to do so, as though he’s regretful. “Yeah,” he says. Castiel’s eyes aren’t working well enough to pick out the intricacies of his facial expression, but he thinks he sees guilt in the depths of Dean’s eyes. 

“It was the only way to get you out. Sam found the spell and Jack powered it up, and I...” It’s then that Castiel comes aware that one of Dean’s hands is bleeding, is leaving smears of red across the blanket and the skin. “I did what I had to do, but there was a catch.” Dean’s breath hitches for a moment before he looks back at Castiel. “You see, we looked into it, and it turns out that the Empty only cares about angels and demons. Humans, it doesn’t have any power over. So in order to get you out--”

“Human,” Castiel repeats, his mind working through the problem. It’s an elegant solution in its simplicity. The ripping and tearing makes sense, as does the pain. 

Anna described tearing out her grace as the worst pain she’d ever felt, like digging a kidney out with a spoon. Castiel understands. His whole body aches with the memory, muscles screaming for rest, his stomach for sustenance, and his nerves for peace. He doesn’t want to sleep; there’s been too much of that. But he does want to rest. 

“Dean.” Castiel pauses to let the word sit on his tongue, to feel the weight of it. It feels as good as it ever did. 

“Yeah, Cas?” 

Castiel could get lost in Dean’s eyes. Have they always been that green? Have those crow’s feet always bracketed them, like lines on a map, proof of a life well lived? 

“Home?” Castiel finally asks, once he realizes that Dean is waiting for an answer. “Can we go home?” 

Dean’s face splits in a smile, kinder than the dawn and brighter than the sun. “Yeah,” he says, though he makes no effort to move. “Yeah, Cas, we can go home.” 

Castiel tilts his head, wondering why Dean doesn’t move. Instead, he looks like he’s working himself up towards something. His teeth bite at his lower lip, while his eyes dart to either side of Castiel, like they can’t bear to land on his face. An unwelcome spike of fear lances at Castiel’s chest. 

“Dean,” he begins, but a harsh movement stops him. 

“I gotta say this,” Dean says, his voice rough. “What you said, before you were...” He swallows before he finally looks at Cas, his eyes brimming over with tears. “I haven’t been able to sleep in a year because all I could think was that I never had a chance to say it back to you.”

Hope flares and bursts in Castiel’s heart. A happiness so bright it’s searing tears through him, and this time, he can feel it, he can feel it all, he can have it--

“I love you,” Dean says, his unbloodied hand resting on Castiel’s cheek. “I love everything about you, you stupid bastard, and don’t you ever, ever try and leave me again, don’t you ever, you’d better die after me because I’m going to stick with you until we’re old and gross and creaky and we’re going to have to figure out how to have old people sex with all my fake joints and--” 

“Sex?” Castiel’s brain might not be working fast enough to pick up on every word Dean says, but he’s aware enough for that. 

Dean blushes, the tips of his ears turning red. “Yeah. I mean. If you wanted. And if you didn’t want, that’s fine, because i know you said once that angels didn’t--”

“I’d very much like to have sex with you,” Castiel interrupts, because even in his state, he can see when Dean is trying to work himself into a hole. “But not right now.” Exhaustion hits him like a wave, dragging him under and only reluctantly giving him up. He looks up at Dean, finally allowing himself to be weak, allowing Dean to step in and take care of him. “Home?” he repeats, wanting nothing more than to sink into Dean’s bed and rest. 

“Yeah, Cas. Let’s go home.” Dean shifts, but doesn’t move, and Castiel is just about to complain about the lack of progress on the home front when Dean leans forward. His eyes are determined, his lips slightly parted, his hand trembling where it rests on Castiel’s cheek. Fireworks and galaxies explode in Castiel when he realizes Dean’s intentions. 

He’s lived through several ice ages, through meteors and wars, through life and death and rebirth. He’s seen the formation of planets and constellations, seen entire solar systems collapse into themselves only to birth a new sun. 

But he’s never seen or felt anything as wondrous as the first touch of Dean’s lips on his. 

The kiss is soft, barely pressure, but it feels like everything. It feels like a promise and a wish. It feels like a homecoming. 

It feels like a beginning. 

---

Remember, Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.― Stephen King

A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it's the most painful thing you'll ever have to do and that you've ever done. But what's yours is yours. Whether it’s up in the sky or here in your hands. And one day, it'll fall from the sky and hit you in the head real hard and that time, you won't have to put it back in the sky again.― C. JoyBell C.

#spn spoilers #spn15 #spn season 15 #destiel #destiel fic #destiel fanfic #deancas #deancas fic #deancas fanfic #castiel #dean winchester #coda fic #15.18 coda #15x18 coda #fare thee well spn #no angst here only sweet sweet fluff #dothwrites #remember this morning when i said i was going to take a vacation #yeah i fucking lied

[tearsofgrace]

breath in.

cas is gone. he’s dead. taken.

breath out.

cas said he loved you. you changed him. for a moment, he was happy.

breath in.

he’s probably never coming back. he’s never coming back and you’re alone.

breath out.

sam and jack need you. get off your ass and help them.

breath in.

why didn’t you tell him? why didn’t you say it back?

breath out.

happiness isn’t in having. it’s in being.

breath in.

it’s in just saying it.

breath out.

he loved you.

breath in.

he loved you.

breath out.

he loved you.

breath in.

i love you too, castiel.

#destiel #spn 15.18 coda #15.18 coda #destiel fanfic #destiel prose #spn fanfic #supernatural #supernatural fanfic #spn fan fiction #deancas fic #destiel fic #destiel ficlet #my writing

[artloife]

Well, I’ve been in this fandom eight years now. Just never written fic for it. So of course I have to write a lil ficlet for my fave Cas, here, at the end of it all.

(am I still in shock from Nov. 5? A little bit. I mean...how long has Misha played Cas as IN LOVE EXACTLY?? CAN’T YOU TELL US MISHA?!)

Preview:

You do not sleep! 

The entity snarls at him in fury. 

Castiel coughs and wheezes as he tries once more to face the entity directly. 

The entity promptly crushes him with an ever-present force that has him scrambling to breathe, even though Castiel is already aware he has no need to in the Empty.

Rest of it is on a03!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27623203

#deancas #destiel #castiel #15.18 coda #spn #my writing

[lies-unfurl]

10 Considerations Towards a Confession

X. You have always comforted yourself with the thought that in some place and some time, the both of you are happy. There is a world where there was no apocalyptic aspect to your meeting, where you got to learn each other in quiet moments and in careful touches. There is a world where neither of you has ever died. There is a world where you told him you loved him the moment you realized it. There are worlds where he might even say it back.

None of those worlds are yours, and all of those worlds are gone. There are no dreams left here.

IX. Your hand bleeds. It has bled since the moment you first touched him. You have always been happy to bleed for him.

VIII. There’s no time to waste on any emotion as useless as regret, but spare a thought for the others you leave behind—for the son you’ve failed to raise, the brother who has already lost so much. You’ve no goodbye to offer them, no last sentiment to salve their grief. You cannot protect them any more.

Your death will add to the burden he bears, a load no longer shared. Were the last hour not so near to killing, you might indulge in self-loathing: in thinking how typical that is of you, to make his life worse under the guise of good intentions. Perhaps it’s for the best, that you’ve got no chance to dwell on such things.

VII. How righteous he is, how lovely. How lucky are you to have known him.

VI. Nothing awaits you on the other side. Eons of memories erased, moments known to no other angels, to no being left alive except perhaps for God. The songs you heard sung in languages whose existence no linguist has ever even theorized. The long-extinct species you once walked among, who left no trace in the fossil record. The bright colors in the finger paintings from the orphaned child whose brief life you observed, who died days later and left behind no kin. When you are gone, so will they be.

None of those losses will hurt half as much as the knowledge that in a moment all you’ve learned of him—the way his eyes crinkle after his terrible jokes, the weight of his hand on your back, the depths of his love and grief—all that will burn to nothingness along with you.

V. It’s terrible to see how much these simple truths about his character hurt him. You didn’t remind him of them enough when you had the chance. You wasted so many years fighting over a thousand tiny things, spent so little time on honesty.

He will never forget what you say now. Whether he believes it or not is another story entirely. Unfortunately, it will not be a story of which you are part.

IV. You came back from this once before. But you can feel it in your bones, your grace, your burned-up wings, in the taste of a sealed deal upon your lips and in the turning gears and wheels of the universe: there is no return from where you’re going now.

III. How can your heart feel so full even as it crumbles at all the tears on his face? How can you break everything you touch and still feel so whole, still see him whole before you? How can the world end when you’re just beginning?

Nothing has ever been simple for you, not even happiness. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

II. It was always meant to end like this.

I. Last world, last words. Make them matter.

“I love you.

“Goodbye, Dean,”

#spn 15x18 #spn 15.18 #spn coda #destielfanficnet #Destiel fanfic #spn spoilers #myfic #guess who's going to be very functional at work tomorrow? #not me that's for fuckin sure

[thegeminisage]

I was okay with meme-ing a bit about how bad the finale was but now there's a couple of posts floating around about how no one ever told Cas they loved him in canon and That Has Ruined Me. My boy deserved so much better.

yeah :( but i love him :( and i’ll always love him :(((

#he literally changed network TV forever... #rip king #not me trying to figure out a sequel to my 15.18 coda simply to work an i love you in there #god! #liz answers asks #liz watches spn #anonymous

[batattta]

destiel fic recs pt.4

heeeeeere we go again

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

part 4/?

new testament 'verse (15 works, 47k, g-m) the most underrated work imho. i have no words to describe this one. it makes me FEEL. sad cas, sweet caring dean, singer salvage, domesticity. one of my all time favorites

rivers and roads (3k, g) cas hitchhiking his way home after the fall. they are the sweetest boys

entertaining strangers (9k, e) cas tells dean about his threesome. just. wow. OCs in this one are the best.

the walk series (196k, e, AU) dean turns tricks and one day he meets cas. who is religious and sad and married. i loved how all their found family came together in this one. 

seek to know you better (27k, e) they are on a road trip and play “36 questions to fall in love”. cute

some boys are sleeping alone (4k, m) dean and his sexuality. very very sad

command me to be well (28k, e) not an obvious one of 15.18 fix-its

after a storm (10k, m) where dean doesn't tell cas to leave bunker in season 9 (as it should have been)

there’s only one sure thing that i know (20k, e) dean and cas get stuck in ohio. very old one. beautifully written 

elemental (600, g) “the man who would be king” coda

the best bang for your buck (6k, m) cas finds dean’s profile on sex toys website. this is so funny

the gambler (4k, t) dean retires. with cas. sam is oblivious. the fluffiest fluff

i saw the heavens and the earth cry over you (3k, m, mcd) why do i do this to myself? hah. i don't even want to recommend this one, but i have to, i’m sorry. read at you own risk. cas becomes human. his body starts to slowly shut down. incredibly sad.

things dean winchester loves (3k, m) so cute. cas makes a list. 

story time (1k, g) dean and cas retire. they tell stories to local kids.

string lights (2k, g) christmas fic. i love the atmosphere 

you and me in the war of the end times (5k, e) remember i told about shotgunning? yeah.

the face at the end of the hall (3k, t) psychological horror. short and sad. 

things happen (they do, they do, and they do) (28k, e) my favorite one of 15.18 fix-its. dean is a repressed bean.

flowers in the backyard (34k, e, AU) awwwww. love this one. dean inherits bobby’s cabin, cas is homeless and made the cabin into his home.

prosopagnosia (32k, t, AU) dean is a firefighter, cas works in gas-n-sip and can’t recognize and memorize faces. 

on vessels (2k, g) cas tells dean that he wanted him to be his vessel

holding this in mind (13k, e) yeah, well um this one is 13k words about fisting. but it’s such a tender fic. more like character study, than smut, truly. 

death of the author (7k, e) post-15.18, first time fic. soooooo cute. 

special mention, aileenrose’s little AUs. they are so special and unique and writing is *chefs kiss*. my favorites:

every dog has its day (12k, m) dean meets homeless cas, they rescue a puppy.

a case for evolution (9k, m) plumber dean, anthropologist cas. they are nerds. nerds in love.

love, take your toll (9k, t) this one owns my heart. lonely toll collector cas and motorist dean. unbelievably tender fic. i wanted to hug cas so much

all that is gold does not glitter (8k, m) jeweler cas, dean comes to collect sam’s wedding rings. cas thinks it's dean who’s getting married. dumbies.

an exploration of habitat (11k, m) cas is a protester who lives in a tree. dean is afraid of heights. last lines made me weep. this fic made me feel so happy, oh god watch and learn, cw

#destiel #deancas #destiel fic rec #destiel fanfiction #destiel fic #fics #spn fic rec #fic rec list #my fic recs

[tiktaalic]

what sup i just went thru and tagged all my bookmarks so heres my very reclist of angels, anna, mary, and destiel

angels

pennies, gabriel, 5.19 rewrite. 3k

tell me why, s4 and 5 angels povs, 200 words

hark the herald angels sing someone pass the eggnog please, humor, canon angels forced into a Family Dinner. 1.8k

anna

without mythologies, character study, 3.5k

in truth everyone is expendable, anna + cas, 2k

comes our end, anna + cas, anna + dean, 1.5k

pesach, anna + cas, 1.1k

forethought and planning, annamary, 570 words

cadence of a fall, character study anna while human, 1.3k

mary

didn’t we almost have it, character study, 1k

not quite wonderful, annamary, 3.5k

what eternity looks like, annamary, 300 words

this is why she falls, annamary, 800 words

tips for women on the run, john dies in the pilot instead of mary, 700 words

destiel

head full of darkness, widower arc therapy coda, 1.5k

mourner’s kadish, dean taking baby jack to spread cas’s ashes, 800 words

in small ponds, baby jack post 15.18 fix it

like a lump in your throat, technically destiel but mostly mute dean character study w mary, 1.2k

dean winchester cocksucker at rest, humor, jack n cas meet john in heaven, 7.1k

rinse, repeat, snips of cas killing different deans in the 8.17 intro, 3.3k

bron-yr-aur, wtf gay little jack!!!! jack coming out to dean while hes dying, 5.5k

vocation, dean and hannah keeping in touch in s10 during hannah + cas’s roadtrip so he can help her with human stuff + know what’s up with cas, 5,1k

the one thing you can’t lose, dean pulls the chrysler building of unimaginable energy around by the ends of his coat, 5k

a complete kingdom, horror, 85k

formal and shining and complete, another technically destiel that’s mostly dean character study, 3.2k

misc

roadhouse in the sky, humor, fridged women, 1.5k

#etxt #spnwatch #fic tag #theres a lot of mary fic and destiel in my to read #but i have to be in a very specific space to read them

[pray4jensen]

Because it is

deancas coda, 6k, 15.18 (or a coda where Dean and Cas reunite and it has a very happy ending because I’m sappy) 

Why does this sound like a goodbye?

Because it is.

.

It’s Sam who finds him. It’s Sam who hits the ground knees first and clutches his brother’s face, who finds Dean trembling, who looks at Dean with such terror in his eyes, because maybe he’s never seen his brother like this, never seen Dean so broken.

“What happened?” Sam asks, urges him with every fibre of his being, white-knuckled grip around his brother’s shoulders, but Dean’s lips won’t move, can’t move, even as Sam begs him.

Instead, all that comes out is a shaky breath. All that comes out is one last sob, something empty and unfinished, something that doesn’t do justice to fill the void in Dean’s chest, and then, voice breaking, Dean finally answers.

“Cas,” he says and it’s as if the world pitches itself into darkness and he covers his face with his hands again and tries to forget that he exists.

.

They reap God.

They do it because Dean’s fury knows no bounds. They do it because Dean won’t stand it, can’t stand it, won’t let the world end, won’t let Cas go because that stupid selfish bastard can’t just keep leaving Dean like that (hasn’t he told him that enough times?).

But God laughs. God sees the spark of defiance in Dean’s eyes, sees that flaring anger and all of its power, and he still laughs and he laughs and he laughs.

“You think you’re going to save him?” Chuck sneers, grinning cruelly even as Dean breaks him apart with Death’s scythe. “Bring him back? Please. Nothing comes back from the Empty, Dean. Not anymore. I’ve snapped away all the angels, all the demons, your nephilim. All my children. The Empty’s gone to sleep and it won’t ever wake up again because your one disobedient little angel is finally locked away.

“This my story,” Chuck says even as his body turns to dust, even as his voice withers with it. “And I wrote a horror story.”

.

Maybe they’re expecting the universe to collapse, to turn itself inside and out now that its balancing forces are gone. But the world doesn’t do that. The world keeps spinning, devoid of life, inhabited solely by two brothers who grieve.

The world is empty, Dean thinks, so why isn’t Cas here?

.

Dean starts dreaming. The rare instances when his eyes close, when he’s too tired to keep reading, when the tomes he finds in the library are too heavy in his hands, and when he can’t find a single word, not even one goddamned measly word that could be a clue about the Empty—at some point during those times, his eyes close and he dreams.

You changed me, Cas tells him each night, smiling through tears and every part of Dean’s body aches, every part of him wants and he pleads with himself to say something, to tell Cas to stay, to beg him not to go. He tries to move his arms, tries to hold him, tries to cradle Cas’ face in his hands, wipe the tears away from his cheeks, but maybe God isn’t really dead.

Because no matter what Dean does, no matter how much he wants to, he stands in the scene as before, unmoving, breathless, a memory.

Cas always says, Goodbye, Dean, and the smile he gives him breaks Dean into pieces and pieces.

read the rest on AO3 here

#spn spoilers #15x18 #destiel #spncreatorsdaily #bend-me-shape-me #s15codas #masterpost #HELLO #it's been 1 year and 1 month since i wrote anything #2020 was hell but it's looking up so ignoring all my responsibilities (exam tmr) #i wrote a coda for the last episode #it would mean the world if someone would read <3 #i'm very out of practice and it's not the best coda but i needed to get my feelings out someway #so here it is #and like i know it sounds totally sad but i promise it's got a very sappy happy ending #on account of me being sappy

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

To Rip and To Sew

To Rip and To Sew https://ift.tt/ElysLvd by Chthon [Castiel has known suffering, but until this moment he has not understood agony. He clutches his phone and seeks out the first name, always the first name present— "Dean."] Castiel gets kneed in the balls by a twelve-year-old. This is his elegy. Words: 6316, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, Original Female Character(s) Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: POV Castiel (Supernatural), Human Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel Learns to be Human (Supernatural), Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Helpful Dean Winchester, Testicular Self Exam, First Kiss, Castiel Deals With Human Pain, Implicit Jealousy, Awkward Flirting, Mixed Signals Dean Winchester, Castiel Comes Out (Supernatural), Reference To 15.18 Despair, Angst, Coda, kind of via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/ngzvSCp August 30, 2023 at 08:59PM

#IFTTT #AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' #Destiel #ao3feed #ao3feed Destiel #Destiel fanfic #Dean Winchester/Castiel #Castiel/Dean Winchester #Dean x Castiel #Castiel x Dean

[bijoharvelle]

a coda of sorts for 15.18 Despair. MAJOR HUGE SPOILERS for the episode so please proceed with caution if you haven’t watched yet (has anyone not watched yet??) angst with a hopeful ending.

Here’s what doesn’t happen: Cas smiles and laughs through his tears and says, “You changed me, Dean.”

There’s a beat of uncertainty but through it, Dean steps forward. He walks towards Cas. This is an angel of the Lord who followed him from Hell, who came when he called and betrayed his trust and earned it back. An angel who gave up an army, a Host, his Grace, the favor of his brothers and sisters, all for Dean. So Dean steps forward and hesitantly puts a hand to Cas’s waist. “Why does this sound like a goodbye?” he asks.

“Because it is.” Cas voice shakes and shatters and he leans into Dean’s touch. He presses one hand, palm bloody, to Dean’s shoulder and cups it there. “I love you,” he says, and it’s sure and strong. They’re called love confessions but this feels more like an absolution, like a benediction. 

Dean can feel the press of Cas’s hand as he tries to push him away, out of the way, because there’s a teeming wall of void that’s opened behind them but Dean holds his ground.

They meet in the middle, Dean holding Cas at his waist and the collar of his trench coat and kissing him like he needs it to breath. He can feel the shudder-shock of Cas’s breath in the kiss, shaky inhale to clipped exhale. There are tears on Cas’s cheeks pressing into his own and Dean, stupidly, thinks, I’ve never seen him cry. He’s seen Cas’s blue eyes go glassy and red, but he doesn’t think he’s ever seen them spill over.

One of his hands moves to cradle the back of Cas’s head, fingers in that fucking hair of his and when Cas breaks the kiss, Dean holds him there, keeps him close. Their noses bump, foreheads brush, and Dean doesn’t know if he’s crying or if it’s just Cas’s tears on his face. “Don’t do this, Cas,” he says and it’s begging. I’m not one for praying because in my books it’s the same as begging. “Please. Castiel.”

Before he knows what’s happening, cold air rushes to fill the space that was once Cas. Dean sees just the edges of the Empty’s tendrils, black and shimmering and all-consuming. He turns on the balls of his feet just in time to watch the rift against the wall close up.  

Here’s what doesn’t happen: Cas tells him that it is a goodbye and Dean shakes his head, hard. “No,” he counters, “No. This isn’t happening.” And he puts himself in Cas’s space, curves his hand around the back of his neck. He holds him there and meets his eyes, like he had with Jack, just a few months ago. “You’re family, Cas. We don’t give up on family, even if looks like there’s nothing left.”

“Dean--”

But Dean rushes to cut him off. “I love you,” he says and he can feel his cheeks getting hot, his throat thickening. “Okay? Cas. I love you. And I need you here. Cas, please.” 

Cas smiles, beatific, and Dean can’t help but think that he’s beautiful, incandescent. An angel of the Lord, here with him. “I love you too, Dean,” he says and he’s smiling, the tone in his voice is almost laughter. “Please remember that. I’ve loved you, all this time.” He presses his hand to Dean’s shoulder and Dean remembers, for a brief moment, Hell. He remembers Cas reaching down and pulling him out.

When the Empty reaches out, when it takes Cas, Dean isn’t ready. He screams and dives for the eddying mass of nothing but you can’t put your hands on something that isn’t. The wall closes back to its industrial brick and Dean is alone, pounding until his knuckles split.

Here’s what happens: Sam is feral with worry as they make the near eight-hour drive back to the bunker. Jack has his phone, calling everyone Sam can think of between trying Dean and Cas over and over again. Dean’s phone keeps ringing out to his voicemail. The calls to Cas drop as soon as they get placed. 

The car is still running, thrown into park at an angle up against the bunker’s entrance and once they’re inside, both Jack and Sam are screaming for Dean and Cas. Sam is sure that he’s going to find Dean’s phone on the floor, shattered, with all those messages and calls collecting, just like Eileen’s. He doesn’t know what to expect of Cas.

He and Jack end up skittering into the basement together, trailing a ragged, scorched scratch-mark on the wall. And then, they find him.

“Dean!” Sam shouts and slides to his knees. He takes his brother’s face in his hands and makes him meet his eyes. Dean’s chest is working, eyes wet and red and Sam’s heart sputters. “What the hell happened, man?” He handles Dean gently because he thinks he has an idea. Thumbs come up, to brush away the tears, like Dean always did for him when they were kids, when they weren’t kids.

“Cas is gone,” Dean gasps out. “He’s gone, he’s really gone.” And he pitches forward, shaking. His fingers bite into Sam’s shoulders so hard he’s sure there will be bruises and all Sam can do is cradle his brother to his chest.

Jack drops to the floor, burying his face into Dean’s shoulder and letting out his own grief. Through it all, Sam sits and holds his brother, puts his hand to the back of their kid’s head and tries to keep them all together.

It takes awhile. He has to coax Dean to his feet and then up into the kitchen - his brother looks like a man possessed, like a ghost, like a ghoul, like something already dead. Jack follows him like a lost duckling, trailing behind Sam as he settles Dean at the table and then makes coffee because it’s something he knows how to do.

“Dean,” he says softly, once they’re all sitting together with steaming mugs. “You gotta tell us what happened.” And he knows, he understands. He remembers just yesterday - God, was it only yesterday - how it felt to know that if you say it, if you acknowledge it, your whole world will fall apart and you’ll be useless. I can’t go there. But they need to know, so they can make a plan.

It comes out in halting spirals, in between whining breaths and deep shudders. More than once, Dean trails toward guilt, toward shame, toward I should have done something, why didn’t I do anything. Sam redirects him as firmly as he can manage.

He’s known about Cas’s feelings for years - in fact, he’s pretty sure Cas had only just discovered it himself when he came to Sam. They didn’t talk about it often but when they did, Cas was gingerly ecstatic at just being near Dean, just sharing space with him. He would have been content to follow Dean through the rest of his life without having said a word.

When Dean finishes, tells them that the Empty took Cas and Billie disappeared, he folds his arms on the table and buries his head. Jack, sitting next to him, puts a hand to his arm and fits his face into Dean’s shoulder. Sam watches as, slowly, Dean shifts one hand to cover Jack’s.

Sam lets them have a moment, let’s them mourn and revel in the mourning, but then he dips his head and says, “Dean, this is good.”

His brother picks his head up so fast he almost brains Jack.

“It’s the Empty,” Sam rushes to explain. “We know how it works. We know what it wants. We know exactly where Cas is and how to get there.”

Dean blinks through new tears tessellating his lashes. “You... You mean get him back?” His voice is shot to hell and it breaks when he says him, like he was going to say Cas’s name. But for the first time since they split up last night, Sam thinks he sees something like hope blossom over Dean.

“I mean get him back.”

Dean didn’t tell Sam, word for word, what Cas said but Sam has always known that his brother operates from love. He was the kid, after all, who Dean raised. Dean wiped his tears and kissed his skinned knees and proofread his essays and taught him about cars and girls and drinking and their father. Sam is alive and the person he is today because of Dean’s love.

So it’s tragic and terrible and it hurts. He hurts for his brother and Jack, he hurts for Cas and Eileen and Donna and everyone else, but he’s also, suddenly, alive with the gift that Chuck and the Empty have given them.

Sam watches as Dean realizes it in degrees. He straightens his shoulders back and wipes a hand down his face. He looks to Jack and, so tenderly, reaches out to clear away his tears too. And then, Sam watches as his brother smiles. “Hell yes, we’re gonna get him back.” Dean watches Jack until the kid tries for a smile and then he turns to Sam and he sees there’s a smile already there.

The thing that Chuck doesn’t understand, that the Empty can’t understand, is everything the Winchesters have ever done, has been family. And it’s been for love. So taking these cosmic entities out with love as the power chord running under their mission...

Well, let’s just say they’ve got work to do. 

-

@prayedtoyou • @folklorecastiel • @good-things-do-happen-dean • @cas-you-assbutt-dean-needs-you • @nesnej •  @bianca29753 • @spaceshipkat • @madronasky • @dizzypinwheel • @kayrosebee • @feraladoration • @destielangst • @destiel-is--real • @brazencas • @destielle • @flowersforcas • @50shadesofsubtext • @multifandomagic • @fluffiestlou • @geo-val • @menjiiii • @top13zepptraxx • @lanaserra • @eccentriccas • @trasherasswood • @angelresort • @starlightcastiel • @dreamnovak • @jazzbabythatsme • @lyndalynn • @organicpurplepants • @cursed-or-not • @contemplativepancakes • @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner  • @galaxymysteryelephant • @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover • @one-more-offbeat-anthem • @keata-kaylee • @redsconfusion • @bennedict • @mishha • @smushedmuffins • @galaxycastiel

#spncreatorsdaily #destiel #deancas #deancas ficlet #destiel ficlet #deancas fanfic #destiel fanfic #spn fanfic #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #jack kline #spn spoilers #my stuff #1518 despair #spn s15

[tearsofgrace]

just saying it

i wrote... i wrote another 15.18 coda

it’s sad... but IT'S HAPPY AT THE END.. kind of

wc: 850, tags: angst, cw suicidal thoughts, empty deal, hopeful ending, guys it’s gonna be a positive 15.20 i can feel it i just needed to put this into words

Breathing isn’t supposed to hurt. It’s one of those things that happens without you knowing it, but it still tells you you’re alive. It tells you that you’re taken care of, it tells you that you’re okay, that everything is right in the world. 

So when it does hurt… well, that’s when something is very wrong. That’s when you know you aren’t living anymore. That’s when you should start to think about giving up. 

As Dean leaned against the wall, though, the life draining from him, breathing didn’t just hurt. It was goddamn impossible. 

Every breath sent needles raking across the inside of his lungs. Every breath made them feel like they were collapsing before he forced them open again. Every breath felt like he was sucking in more death than life. 

He hadn’t asked for this. And he hated that he was as angry as he was broken, but he hadn’t asked for Cas to do this. For Cas to make this huge declaration and then leave. 

He wasn’t mad at Cas, though. He couldn’t be. He was mad at every goddamn choice that put them in the place where there was nothing they could do, nowhere they could run, and Cas sacrificed himself. Because that was their song. That was what they did. 

And what Cas had said-

No.

He couldn’t think about it. He didn’t even want to think about it. How could he think about it when it changed nothing? When it just made it even harder to force air into his lungs, to focus on the way his body rattled as it fought to stay alive. 

Maybe that’s why it was impossible to breathe now. Maybe he wasn’t supposed to breathe anymore. Maybe he should just stop. What Cas said didn’t matter. 

But it does matter, something whispered. That voice was back. That stupid fucking voice that he’d stopped listening to when he was sixteen years old. When John beat it out of him. It was the voice that told him he could be happy. 

Cas’ words echoed in his mind no matter how hard he tried to stop them. 

Happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. 

Cas’ face had been so pure. So beautifully full of joy. He’d been so sure too… how could he be so sure? 

Dean had never been sure of anything he felt. He was too afraid of where it came from. Of who had planted it there and forced him to feel. But Cas- Cas had known. 

It’s in just saying it. 

Dean took another shaky breath, pressing his palms further into his eyes, trying to black out the world. Why was this so goddamn difficult? They were just words. Just words with no one but echoing space to hear it. 

Just saying it. 

The phone was buzzing again. Sam wanted to know what happened. Either that or he wanted to know if his brother was alive. But Dean couldn’t even think about what was going on outside the bunker. Outside the bunker was nothing, they were nothing when Cas was gone, when Cas was dead. 

Don’t give up, the voice whispered again. It’d been getting louder over the years. He hated it. He hated the idea that there was happiness in the universe for him because he had done nothing in his life to deserve that happiness. 

That’s not who you are. 

“Shut up,” he whispered. 

He gulped and took his hands from his eyes, blinking around the room. He had no idea how long he’d been here. How long he’d sat, clutching at the handprint on his arm, rocking back and forth as the weight of everything sank further into him, suffocating him. 

You’re the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.

He choked back a sob, air entering his lungs just a little bit easier this time. 

Listen to him. 

“Shut up,” he said again, this time more forceful. 

I love you. 

It hit him with full force. Cas loved him. Cas loved him when he knew him better than anyone. And if Cas could love him in all of his mistakes… then maybe he could be right. 

It’s in just saying it. 

He took another breath. They were coming easier now. As more air entered his body, some of the pain left. Not all of it. It was still a crushing weight on him, holding him on the floor, squeezing his heart until it was hard to feel it beating. 

Just say it, the voice didn’t whisper that time. It shouted. It roared in his head, sending a jolt of energy through him. 

“I love him,” he gasped, sobbing. 

He could breathe now. He could survive now. He could live now. 

Just saying it. 

He let his face slip into a sad smile and he understood. He understood what Cas meant. And he would fight tooth, nail, every goddamn thing he had in him until he got his angel back. 

“I love you too, Cas,” he breathed.

tag list: 

@fandomstuff67 @menjiiii @mothdean @starlightcastiel @chaoticdean @larryforeveralways @dreamnovak @heller-jensen @tlakhtwritesdestiel @wanderingcas @prayedtoyou @good-things-do-happen-dean @jayus-fandom-writer @cas-you-assbutt-dean-needs-you @gmotheemo @starrynightdeancas @radiantdean @piemaker-from-gallifrey @on-a-bender @eshaninjer @trasherasswood @dreadful-delight @feraladoration @trenchcas @contemplativepancakes @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @thefourthheadofcerberus @seffersonjtarship @randomblabbling @craftywitchywoman @destielisfuckingcanon @adsp-destielcockles @tehmanda @castielscrookedtrenchcoat @queen-rowenas @expectingtofly @that-one-fandom-chick @quicksilver-ships @destielle @charmedbycastiel @cursed-or-not

#15.18 coda #spn #destiel #The Scene #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfic #spn fan fiction #destiel fanfic #deancas fic #destiel fic #destiel ficlet #my writing

[dcforts]

spn fanfic masterpost

MISC (most recent first)

some other time

Why didn’t he say it some other time?

window (poem)

just another tragedy greater than our hearts

movie nights

Cas likes movie nights.

priority | ao3

The world is empty, he almost lost Cas again. The world his full, Cas loves him.

rules

Dean has an extensive number of rules.

something more | ao3

Dean never wants to go to hunter gatherings.

like today | ao3

Dean is not too bothered. Outside the weather is bad, but the place it’s nearby, the job seems easy and they can be home in time for dinner. And if they hit the traffic, well, Cas will be there. They will be fine.

alt 15.20

Sam snorted, too engrossed in his phone to argue. “I think it’s time, Dean. You’re ready to hang it up,” he joked.

heaven | ao3

The reaper they send looks at him with compassion. It’s not anyone he knows. “Welcome, Dean,” she says, “Are you ready to move on?”

15.18 coda

Dean doesn’t get used to it.

seedlings | ao3

Castiel is standing in Robert Singer’s kitchen.

foosball

They’ve got a foosball table now.

ring for an angel | ao3

The blue neon sign on top of the short building says Feathers in a friendly font and has a pair of little wings and a halo to blink with it.

dw. is saved (18/09/20)

It’s a night like any other when Jack asks Cas if he can tell the story of how he rescued Dean from Hell.

bobby's house

Dean wakes up from his nap on Bobby’s couch.

time

It’s not exactly a memory, but a memory of a dream.

lebanon | ao3

Sometimes, when he is at the bunker and things are quiet, Castiel goes out and ventures in town.

help | ao3

Dean keeps busy in the bunker; Cas helps.

take heart, dear one | ao3

The journey was long, music filled and a little snore filled and it involved a lot of gas stations and sketchy diners and a stop to buy three pairs of ridiculous rubber flip flops but at the end the bungalow turned out to actually be on a beach, so at least the booking site hadn’t lied about that.

#DEANCASSUMMERPROMPTS21

week 1: summer soltice

The huge neon sign on the door said Summer Solstice in yellow and orange and was decorated with palms and flamingos. It was flashy and intimidating.

week 2: drive in cinema

Cas appears out of nowhere in the passenger seat, making Dean jump out of his skin and spill soda all over himself.

week 3: i can still recall our last summer

Dean said it was too hot. He’d said it fifty times already since they left the bunker this morning and they were not even halfway through the journey.

week 4: selfie together

Three days to impact (moving out with Cas and a bunch of hunter nerds settling into the bunker to set up the Network), and Dean was still elbow deep in messy drawers, sorting through his stuff in one of the research rooms.

week 5: holidays [holiday fic part 1/3]

Sam dropped it on him right before they left for their holiday.

week 6: water guns [holiday fic part 2/3]

As soon as he looked at Alex he knew she was thinking the same thing, given her eyes, wide and bright and a mischievous smile on her lips. “Ambush?” she said.

week 7: long summer nights [holiday fic part 3/3]

It was four a.m. and Dean was awake. 

#SPNADVENTCALENDAR2020

day 1: advent calendar

Dean couldn’t believe that he was going to be late. Of all the times it could happen, it had to be on that day, on that snowy February night of his first date with Cas.

day 2 + 3: childhood memories + motel rooms

One minute Dean is soaping up in the shower - under what could be described more as a lukewarm leak than an actual shower spray - and the next the whole thing dies on him.

day 4: cooking and baking

Now, Bobby Singer didn’t always exactly enjoy having Sam and Dean around – he was used to living alone and he liked his routine; they got loud when they bickered and he always had to make sure they were clean and fed and far from the stuff he had laying around that they weren’t supposed to touch.

day 5 + 6: carols + christmas curse | ao3

Cas shows up on the third day with the french hens and the turtle doves and the partridge in tow.

day 7: phone calls and late night texts

The first time his phone rings, they are at the diner. When Cas makes no move to grab it from his pocket, Claire stops talking about her classes for a moment to ask, “Isn’t that your phone?”

day 8: “there’s no need for mistletoe”

“Are you guys decent?” comes Sam’s voice from the other side of their door. “Yes,” is Cas’ reply, at the same time Dean says, “No.”

day 9: wishes

Dean wakes with a start. Even in the dark, his eyes find Castiel immediately - a solemn, imposing figure at the edge of his bed.

day 10: the gingerbread man

Sam sits across from him with an amused grin plastered on his face. “Jack said he wants to be the gingerbread man for Christmas this year,” he says.

day 11: sharing is caring

“Do we know anyone around here?” asks Cas from the passenger seat and Dean closes his eyes and sighs. “Yeah,” he says  disheartened, “We know Garth.”

day 12 + 16: the one with the dancing + family

A Winchester treat package, Christmas edition.

day 13: poinsettia

It started as soon as Cas joined them at the diner and slipped into the booth next to Dean liked he usually did.

day 14: christmas lights

The last question she asks is the one Claire wanted to avoid at all costs. “Are you coming back to see the lights?”

day 15: of snow and scarves

Dean flung open the door on the parking lot outside their motel room. “Alright you two, get inside now. It’s freezing,” he called, briskly.

day 19: photographs

It gets – a little out of control, but Dean doesn’t realize it, not until Sam comes around one time and he’s scrolling through his phone, saying, “Dude, how many pictures of Miracle have you got?”

#SPNSTAYATHOMECHALLENGE april-june 2020

monday 1: feather

“What the-?”, shouted Dean stopping short on the garage door.

monday 2: gentlemen + thief

“We are the best, aren’t we?” There’s the night and there’s them, engine roaring, compass pointing towards home.

monday 4: bet | ao3

Four times Eileen thought Dean and Castiel were more than friends and one time Sam (finally) saw it too.

monday 5: motel

The police scanner informs them that there’s another victim when it’s three p.m., they’ve just checked in at the motel and they haven’t eaten since breakfast.

monday 6: jealous

Nora had set Castiel up on a blind date with a really nice guy once.

monday 7: thunderstorm

One moment they are speeding up on the empty road with the windows rolled down and the sun shining on the side mirrors and the next is as if someone threw a blanket over the sky.

monday 8: hope

There they are, under the blazing sun in an abandoned parking lot. Castiel has to leave.

monday 9: undercover

Something went wrong. Dean’s got his back against a wall and a knife at his throat and the girl that’s holding it seems like she knows exactly how to use it.

monday 10: paradise

Every other week Dean drives up to North Cove and finds himself on the doorsteps of the little cottage James Novak rented for Kelly Kline.

#deancas #deancas fanfiction #destiel fanfiction #i didnt want to add tmi cause they are a lot - i will eventually need another way of ordering them #maybe ill add word count #but the tags were not enough #i tag my writing #i tag bobbyverse for fics feat. bobby #and i tag deancas ficlet

[youlooklikeasixtiesqueen]

it's bisexual awareness day so here are some "dean winchester coming out" fic recs

starting with one I have reread about a dozen times:

Secrets by peanutbutterjelly-pie (rated G, 2241 words)

“Okay, listen, Sammy … There is something I need to tell you and I … I don't know how.” He rubs his temple. “I'm hiding for the past days, trying to figure out how to approach this fucking topic. But apparently I'm a goddamned chickenshit.” Sam blinks, processing this new information. “So … is it something bad?” “Um … the news themselves are not bad but you probably won't like how long I kept this from you.” Sam frowns. “How long?” Dean inspects his burger even further. “Well … about twenty years.”

Not Fooling Anyone by HisAngelThursday (rated M, 1379 words)

After a particularly gushy phone conversation with his favorite baby in a trench coat, Dean hits on a waitress to compensate. But this time, Sam isn’t having it. A.K.A. a semi-coda inspired by the most recent episode, about what would happen if Sam ever called Dean out on his blatant compensation for his concern/affection for Cas.

The Truth Will Out by maypoison (rated M, 1749 words)

Based on a Tumblr post by bisexualdeanwinchester, this is a One Shot in which Sam and Dean are cursed with a Truth Spell, and can't help whatever secrets they have from spilling out. Unfortunately for Dean, that means his brother and Angel companion are going to learn something about him that he never believed would come to light.

Not a Big Deal by braezenn (rated G, 487 words, must be logged in to view)

an abandoned coda for 12x20, wherein Dean “accidentally” comes out to Sam

Talking About Boys by OutcastDeity (rated T, 2710 words)

Just the Winchesters discussing Dean's mistrust of Ketch as they drive back to the Bunker. “Look, all I’m saying is that your hatred of him is so clearly personal that it makes me wonder whether you’re making the right decision in saying no to whatever help he can give us. Having a man on the inside of Asmodeus’ inner circle can’t be a bad thing and -” “I slept with him.” Set in season 13.

Conversations with the Living by cenotaphy (rated T, 3536 words)

By the time everyone else calls it a night and heads off to bed, it's well past midnight. Eileen is the last to go, pressing a kiss to the top of Sam's head before she smiles and leaves the map room. Sam smiles up at her, his eyes a little watery like they have been every time he's looked at Eileen since she came back. Dean grins a little, watching them. And his heart aches a little, too. Sam looks carefully at him after Eileen leaves. Dean can feel himself starting to bristle slightly. Sam's been giving him that look almost non-stop, ever since he and Jack came bursting into the Bunker to find Dean huddled on the storeroom floor with blood on his jacket and his head in his hands. Coda/fix-it for 15.18 "Despair".

build me a city and call it jerusalem by starsandgutters (rated T, 5156 words)

They win. The heroes save the day, and ride off into the literal sunset on their metaphorical horses. They win. They win. They win. Then why does Dean feel like he’s lost everything? A coda to 15x19, featuring Dean coming to terms with a few truths he's known all along.

Mary Winchester, Working On It by alittleduck, amidsizedfrog (rated T, 9660 words)

"I thought, I dunno, that you might be,” Dean paused. “A lesbian?” Sam suggested at the same time Mary said, “a sodomite?” “Actually,” Jack piped up into the complete silence that followed Mary’s words, “sodomy refers to both oral and anal sex. Even though it’s used as an outdated term for homosexuality, it doesn’t actually mean homosexual. I learned that from Google,” he told them all proudly. “Very good, son,” Cas said in a dazed voice. Or, Dean comes out to Mary. But not without a few major misunderstandings along the way.

Truth or Dare by ineffablewifey (not rated, 4593 words)

That was all Dean said, and they were silent for a moment, Sam’s head buzzing from all the question he wasn’t sure he was allowed to ask. “Were there…others?” Sam asked carefully, not wanting to seem too curious about this part of his brother’s life he didn’t know anything about. Which he was, of course, but he didn’t have to make that obvious. “You mean other men or other demons?” “Well, both to be honest.” With a sigh Dean rested his head against the stone wall beside him. --------- or Sam convinces Dean to play Truth or Dare, which doesn't end the way he planned.

#dean winchester #spn #destiel #destiel fic recs #spn fic recs

[mittensmorgul]

Hey, due to the whole pandemic chaos, I have so far only watched thd first half of season 15. Obviously I've read all the spoilers about the awful finale. How far would you recommend should I dip my toe into the second half of s15 if I want to maintain the illusion that the finale never happened? Is up to and including e18 safe? Would really appreciate your help.

Hi there! 

And yeah, you’ll have to make your own decisions on what you want to watch, and where you feel like stopping, and what you would find an acceptable point to stop and let your imagination (or a variety assortment of fic, headcanon, etc.) decide on the ending you feel best with. All I can tell you is what *I personally*-- having watched all of it myself-- feel good with.

I know not everyone likes 15.19 (and yeah, it could do without the whole gratuitous Lucifer and Michael pointless final showdown... those guys have been irrelevant forever...), but up to the point where they do defeat Chuck, I’m pretty satisfied with how that all went down. YMMV, though, if you were expecting or hoping for something different.

It’s ~after~ that, the final few scenes of 15.19 where Jack restores the world and waves goodbye, followed by the disjointed and nonsensical montage of Sam and Dean’s road trip memorial to everyone they apparently no longer care about now that they won that starts the massive wtf for me. Never seeing the *actual people we all cared about* being restored by Jack, never learning Cas’s fate, nor Eileen’s, nor Donna’s, nor Charlie and Stevie’s, nor anyone else, and the Winchesters just going back to the drudgery of the solo hunting life they spent the entire series trying to escape... that’s where it goes all wtf for me, personally.

So yeah, if you wanna see Chuck get his comeuppance, I’d watch through that scene in 15.19 (you can ff through the Lucifer and Michael nonsense fight if you wanna avoid a gratuitous double murder of a woman on screen), but otherwise 15.19 seems to be setting up a wonderful array of possibility and free will for our characters (ALL OF THEM, not just Sam and Dean). And then the show was like... okay but what if we didn’t do any of that, and then tripped and fell on its face.

Lol, I’m currently rewatching early s15, and remembering just how much I loved it. Remembering just how much influence Chuck exerted over the narrative, and looking at the finale it’s literally giving us Chuck’s ending anyway, rendering everything else in the entire series pointless. So yeah, good on you for choosing wisely.

You can stop after 15.18, if you want, and just imagine whatever scenario for putting the world right and defeating Chuck suits your personal tastes. Or you can watch through Chuck’s defeat in 15.19. Either way, yeah as soon as Chuck goes down and Sam, Dean, and Jack drive away together, that’s a quality place to stop. The rest from that moment on is basically coda fic. And you can choose if you wanna read Dabb’s or *waves hand at ao3*

For reference, here’s a sorted-by-kudos look at the 15.20 fix it tag on AO3. Fair warning going in though, a LOT of these incorporate the canon of 15.20 and the “fix it” part is Dean and Cas reuniting in Heaven (which... I have read exactly zero of these, because no thank you). The warning bit comes in because they are NOT marked MCD, because the characters are “alive in Heaven.” Which... I found out the hard way... I just do not care for canon Heaven, and have zero desire to see fanfic interpretations of it, but that’s just me. I know some folks dig it, but it’s not for me. So if you also only want to read “everyone lives” fic, then please mind the tags and summaries. :)

(also, shameless self-promotion time... at the time I’m posting this, my fic which I only posted yesterday so is a good way down the search results, so if you want to know how I imagine a better ending, here have Revenge of the Text. it picks up after the “Jack waves goodbye” scene at the end of 15.19. Or alternately, if you do for whatever reason choose to watch the finale knowing exactly what will happen and want a way to justify and dismiss it entirely, have The Famous Final Scene. There’s a whole mess of “this happened but it wasn’t real and here’s why” fic out there, from witch curses to nightmares to djinn dreams, which I also personally find satisfying since I did unfortunately insert 15.20 into my own eyeballs and had to deal with the wtf’ery first hand.)

All that said, good luck to you with whatever you choose for yourself. And be grateful that you-- unlike Sam and Dean, and unlike all of us who watched it air-- you actually have a choice. <3

#spn 15.20 #a viewer's guide to avoiding wtf'ery #Anonymous