#spn fic recs | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fandom-hoarder · 5 months

Text

A Bibro's

Sastiel Rec List

-for the canon-adjacent connoisseur-

1. Pagan by posingasme

Gen | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 17, 782 | Chapters: 8/8

Tags: Blasphemy, Idol Worship, Fallen Castiel, Priest Sam, Hunterverse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Canon-Typical Violence

Summary: Castiel has fallen, too soon. Madness and desperation plague him, but, as always, his heart is still in the right place...with Sam Winchester.

🔆

2. Run Right; or Lie by orphan_account

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 5,197 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: AU, Alternate Universe, Canon Divergence, Pre-Slash

Summary: AU in which Dean died during Faith, the first seal was broken in season one, and Sam met Castiel when his faith was as strong as ever.

🔆

3. Kneel Before the Lord Our Maker by EnInkahootz

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,000 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Supernatural Kink Bingo 2021, Porn, Smut, Blasphemy, Angels, Angel Kink, Religion, Religion Kink, Angel Wings, Wings, Flying, Clouds, Cock Worship, Dom/sub, Sub Sam Winchester, Dom Castiel, Dom Castiel/Sub Sam Winchester, Dreams, Blow Jobs, Post-Episode: s04e07 It's the Great Pumpkin Sam Winchester

Summary: After first meeting Castiel and being disappointed in It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester (Season 4, Episode 7), Sam has a dream about Castiel being the classic sort of angel he had expected to meet. Sam dreams of using his mouth to worship Castiel's holy cock, which Sam sees as an extension of god.

🔆

4. What This Is About by MissMisdemeanor

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,147 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Top Castiel/Bottom Sam Winchester, Riding, Sweat, Hook-Up, Secret Relationship, Canon Compliant, canon adjacent?, Making Out, Early season 5 Supernatural

Summary: “This is something you’ve wanted before today,” Cas states, and it’s true. He’s not sure if Cas even had to read his soul to get at that.

Sam’s breath stops. He freezes momentarily. “Yeah,” he admits. “Shit, Cas, yeah. I’d have done this the day we met.”

🔆

5. A First Grasp by Fae-and-night (goodgirlgonegeek16)

M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,034 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season 5 angst, Episode: s05e03 Free to Be You and Me, or at least the sastiel alternate ending to that episode.

Summary: Sastiel-flavored coda for “Free to be You and Me” with some early seasons bamf!castiel.

🔆

6. My Sastiel Valentine by rosworms

M/M | Rating: Mature | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 3,371 | Chapters: 3/3

Tags: Episode: s05e14 My Bloody Valentine, Slash, NSFW, Sastiel - Freeform, Sam/Cas - Freeform

Summary: A very slight AU of the episode 'My Bloody Valentine' where Sam is affected by famine in a different way.

🔆 55 more fics, in relatively chronological order, below the cut 🔆

7. Boy in the White Suit by posingasme

Gen, M/M | Mature | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Words: 13,460 | Chapters: 7/7

Tags: Boy King of Hell Sam Winchester, Post-Apocalypse, Dark Sam Winchester, Insanity, Alice in Wonderland References, Blasphemy, Self-Destruction, Madness

Summary: Sam said no. Dean said yes. Sam lost his mind. Castiel lost his friends. That’s the road so far.

🔆

8. A More Profound Bond by confxsed

Gen, M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,824 | Chapters: 5/5

Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel, Hurt Sam Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, Angst, Season/Series 05, Sam Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Mentions of Suicide, Pre-Slash

Summary: Five little moments where Dean notices the relationship between Sam and Castiel growing.

🔆

9. some space underneath my skin by hellsreluctantheir

Part 1 of touch -- The soulless Sam and Cas were fucking verse.

M/M | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 23,607 | Chapters: 8/8

Tags: Soulless!Sam, Season/Series 06

Summary: Humans liked to touch each other in ways that baffled Castiel. Not just in the manner they slyly referred to as biblically. He watched them clap hands onto shoulders and backs, lean into each other in exhaustion, sleep sitting up with feet resting against each other on the floor. A constant, reverberating, nonverbal hymn. I am here. You are here. We are here, and we are alive. Angels did not need that kind of reassurance. Castiel could hear his siblings' songs no matter how near he was to them physically. Prayers and psalms in the back of his mind. It saddened him, somewhat, to think that humanity would never know that.

🔆

10. The Unexpected by muzivitch

M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,253 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Sam and Castiel discuss his missing year. Also, Sam has a crush that would be obvious to anyone but Castiel (except it might even be obvious to him, after all). Takes place after 6.12 "Like A Virgin."

🔆

11. Doing Just Fine by masterlynovak

M/M, Multi | Rating: Explicit | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 1,069 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: idk it's a threesome but not really?, Dean is just watching Sam and Cas have sex, voyerism

Summary: Dean wakes up in a room with a naked Sam spread out on the bed.

🔆

12. Wings by Rowan203

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 1,415 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: AU after season 6. Sam comes back from the cage broken and changed. Dean and Castiel deal with it in different ways.

🔆

13. Between the Shadow and the Soul by Vee (Vera_DragonMuse)

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 6,456 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Poetry, hell is the absence of love, take shelter in me, castiel thinks sam is the wolf, sam thinks castiel is in another story, really they're both just lost in the fog

Summary: What if Sam was the one that went to Purgatory with Castiel?

🔆

14. The Sun Pale as Milk by Icanseenow

M/M | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 39,879 Chapters: 21/21

Tags: POV Sam Winchester, Season/Series 08, Purgatory, Post-Purgatory, Slow Burn, Nearly Human Castiel, Post-Season/Series 07

Summary: Instead of Dean, Castiel is the one to return from Purgatory first. He finds Sam, and together they spend a year. Looking for Dean and not looking for Dean.

🔆

15. a body of proof by lordofsoup

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Words: 21,525 | Chapters: 5/5

Tags: Angelic Possession, Consensual Possession, basically possession (romantic), Trials of Hell, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Trauma From Lucifer's Cage, Sam Winchester Has an Eating Disorder, a minor point but i wanted to mention it, references to honey!cas, Developing Relationship, Romantic Fluff, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Body, includes art!! [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Sam's sickness worsens after the second trial, resulting in him being rushed to the hospital, the extensive damage has left Sam drained of his fight. To continue with the trials Sam must allow Castiel to heal him, by possessing him. While having an alien home under his skin is nothing new for Sam, Castiel's constant presence unwittingly unburies a host of issues. Two people desperate for forgiveness in the same body should get crowded at times but between the nightmares, the sickness, and the blood; there are some cookies, a quiet beach on the coast of Oregon, and a chance at something new between them.

🔆

16. ficlet - sastiel, a/b/o dynamics by wrenseroticlibrary_archivist

[also on tumblr]

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 580 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Post-Season/Series 08, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Fallen Angel Castiel, Mating Cycles/In Heat, First Time, Porn, Ficlet, Alpha Castiel, Omega Sam Winchester

Summary: When Castiel had Fallen, he’d clearly become an alpha.

🔆

17. Stay in Touch by Cuda (Scylla)

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 6,310 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Post-Episode: s09e06 Heaven Can't Wait, Missing Scene, Human Castiel, Newly Human Castiel, Love Confessions, Not Actually Unrequited Love, First Kiss, First Time, Masturbation, Sexually Inexperienced Castiel, Castiel and Sam Winchester in Love, Sastiel - Freeform

Summary: Concerned about newly-human Castiel's decision to leave the Bunker on his own, Sam sets out for Idaho to find his best friend - and get some answers for himself.

🔆

18. Angels and Answers by klove0511

Part 1 of Milestones 'verse

M/M | Rating: Explicit | Rape/Non-Con | Words: 15,190 Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Possessed Sam Winchester, Memory Alteration, Human Castiel, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, First Time Blow Jobs, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence, Sam Winchester Has Self-Esteem Issues, Castiel Has Self-Esteem Issues, Alternate Season/Series 09, Winchester communication skills

Summary: Cas has discovered his sexuality as a human when the Winchesters bring him to the bunker, and he and Sam fall into bed together. When Gadreel forces Dean to drive Cas away, the two must find their way back to each other, freeing Sam from Gadreel in the process.

🔆

19. So polite by bloodandcream

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,174 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season 9, Angst, Sam topping from the bottom, Erectile Dysfunction

Summary: “Please,” was whispered into his mouth. So polite. Sam was in control here.

🔆

20. Had Worse by posingasme

Gen, M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,687 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Bunker Fic, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Sam has a very high threshold for pain, and an iron will. So this current hunting injury, even with its weird attack on his view of reality, is nothing compared to what he has been through in the past. He’s had worse. But that does nothing to reassure those who love him.

🔆

21. I'm always dragging that horse around by Trojie

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,499 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Unrequited Wincest, Unrequited Destiel, Enochian, Phobias, Hell Trauma, Season/Series 09, Episode: s09e11 First Born, Angel Healing, Implied Wincestiel, Hopeful Ending

Summary: Sam has a horror of angels and Cas has a compulsion to heal. It doesn't help that they speak the same languages, or that Dean is elsewhere - somehow he's always between them, and somehow they still have to meet in the middle.

🔆

22. The Best Medicine by sarasaurusrex

Multi | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,247 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Comfort, Fluff, Depressed Sam Winchester, Season/Series 09, Misunderstandings, Castiel Takes Care of Sam Winchester, Established Castiel/Sam Winchester, Domestic Fluff

Summary: Castiel confuses Sam’s symptoms of depression with symptoms of the flu and tries to help. Set mid season 9.

🔆

23. anything you need, that's what i'll be by starlightswait

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,092 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Dissociation, Bodily Autonomy, Season/Series 09, Aftermath of Possession, Post-Episode: s09e11 First Born, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm, Food Issues

Summary: There is a strange discomfort in healing Sam in the days that follow Dean’s departure.

🔆

24. muscle memory by hellsreluctantheir

Part 2 of touch - Sam's POV s7 - s9

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,830 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season/Series 07, Season/Series 09

Summary: Sam lost his soul, slept with an angel, got his soul back, lost his memory, and then lost his mind before they could have a conversation about it. It's fine. The Hell trauma is gone, and he's coping. Even when Castiel comes back, he'll continue to cope.

🔆

25. Divine by Matthew1972

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 8,120 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: POV Sam Winchester, Protective Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Kissing, First Time, Porn with Feelings, Anal Sex, Bottom Sam Winchester, Top Castiel, Bottoming from the Top, Angelic Grace Play, Angel Wings, Morning Sex, Oral Sex

Summary: Coda/AU scene to episode S09E11, First Born. "But nothing is worth losing you", Castiel shows that what he said was something he meant. Held safe in his arms and wings Sam learns the stunning truth about 'his' angel. How he heals the pain inside of him with something more than trust, care and touch.

🔆

26. Even If We Can't Find Heaven by ellerkay

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 8,044 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Having Faith, Loss of Faith, First Kiss, First Time Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Pining

Summary: Sam finds his faith and loses it and finds it again, albeit in a very different form. A Sastiel love story and exploration of Sam’s faith and spirituality. [Note: prayer during sex🙏]

🔆

27. Table For Two by the_diving_fox

M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,775 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: somewhere in s9, Human Castiel, valentine's day fic, POV Outsider

Summary: A tired waitress at Ann's Diner happens to serve Sam and Castiel amidst all the other obnoxious Valentine's Day couples. Sam and Castiel manage to surprise her, though.

🔆

28. Two Beat Up Humans by PacJazz

M/M, Multi | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,863 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Fluff and Angst, Pre-Slash, PTSD, Post-Gadreel, Human!Castiel, Hurt Sam Winchester, Post-trials with no angel healing hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Season/Series 09, Nightmares, Domestic Fluff, Hair Brushing, Insomnia, No Smut, Enochian-Speaking Sam Winchester, Sleepiness, Literal Sleeping Together [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Both broken, yet eager to help the other heal.... Sam and Cas are living in the bunker now, sans-dean after the gadreel betrayal. Cas is newly Human now, and while he needs some help learning the intricacies of that, Sam needs some help healing. They both share things, and think through what they've lost. *In slight AU where post-gadreel Sam is living in the bunker with newly human Castiel*

🔆

29. A Crucifixion Without A Christ by angelshotgun

M/M | Rating: Explicit | Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con | Words: 18,501 | Chapters: 10/10

Tags: Angelic Possession, Castiel's Angelic Grace, Major Character Injury, Hurt Sam Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hell Trauma, Sam Winchester is Loved, Hurt Castiel, Guilty Castiel, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sam Winchester Needs a Hug, voicemail fixit, Post-Gadreel, Trust Issues, Sam Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Happy Ending, Schmoop, Hunter Retirement [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: When Sam Winchester is badly injured on a hunt, Cas has to possess him to keep him alive and help him heal. And though Sam agreed to let him in, Cas is acutely aware of how many times Sam has had his bodily autonomy taken away from him, and how much Cas himself has contributed to Sam's pain. And now that he's inside Sam's head? Well, he tries to be as unobtrusive as possible, but Sam is just... traumatized. And hurting. Maybe, he thinks, maybe this is his chance to put aside his own feelings for Sam to help heal the hurts he had a hand in creating?

🔆

30. Moments of Madness by orphan_account

M/M | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,140 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season/Series 10, ish, Canon Compliant, Enochian-Speaking Sam Winchester, Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Trauma From Lucifer's Cage, Protective Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Sam Winchester, Kissing, Fluff

Summary: It just happens, the first time. Dean's a Demon, and Sam's so alone. The next times?

🔆

31. Blankets by mako_lies (wingeddserpent)

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,212 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Episode: s10e01 Black, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt Castiel

Summary: Sam and Cas try to take care of one another.

🔆

32. Situational Failure (The Chicken Soup Remix) by StripySock

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 2,540 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season/Series 10, Remix, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt Castiel, Sickfic, Frottage

Summary: There is a fear in Cas that if he lets Sam make himself at home in all of the places that Dean had declined to fill, he will lose the ability to ever refuse it again. Or: Sam is sick, Cas is failing, and Dean is nowhere to be found. [implied unrequited destiel]

🔆

33. Feathers Falling by posingasme

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 13,144 | Chapters: 6/6

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angel Wings, Castiel in the Bunker, Permanent Injury, Protective Sam Winchester, Hurt Castiel, Fever, Delirium, Castiel & Charlie Bradbury Friendship, Alternate Canon, Season/Series 10, Angst [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Castiel has been hurt, but he won't reveal how bad it is. Sam distracts him from the pain by reading him classic love stories, and Cas just doesn’t think any of them depict a love as strong as theirs.

🔆

34. Since When Does Sam Have PLANS? by Fae-and-night (goodgirlgonegeek16)

Gen | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 343 | Chapters: 1/1

Summary: "Dean’s POV on Sastiel, late seasons Sastiel, the ‘mistaken for a couple’ trope.

🔆

35. Keep You from the Gallows Pole by Fallynleaf

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 7,337 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Alternate Season/Series 10 Finale, Mark of Cain Cure, Charlie Lives, Implied Unrequited Destiel, Implied Unrequited Wincest, Implied Wincestiel, Asexual Relationship [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Season 10, if it were the love story of Sam and Cas.

🔆

36. Episode 199.5 by posingasme

Part 1 of Before 200...

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Words: 56,473 | Chapters: 20/20

Tags: Mark of Cain, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Stolen Grace, Protective Dean Winchester, Demon Blood, BAMF Castiel, Sam Winchester on Demon Blood, Alternate Angel Lore, Canon-Typical Violence, Torture, Dean Winchester Bears the Mark of Cain, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Guilt

Summary: Dean is dealing with guilt, and fear of losing control to the Mark again. Castiel has new Grace, but eventually, it will burn out just as before. Sam just wants a fresh start all around. Life in the bunker is getting a bit...crowded. Memories and tempers are boiling over, along with something that has been heating up for a long time. Things get nasty when an old foe comes for Sam, and it's all hands on deck.

🔆

37. Wingman by posingasme

Part 2 of Before 200...

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Words: 65,222 | Chapters: 21/21

Tags: Spoilers, Mark of Cain, Dreams and Nightmares, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Psychological Torture, Canon-Typical Violence, Dean Winchester Bears the Mark of Cain, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Self-Destructive Dean Winchester

Summary: Now that Sam and Castiel have been honest with one another, and Dean has given his blessing, the two are forced into the awkward stage of figuring out where to go from here. Dean is still battling against the Mark, and his anxiety manifests in various ways, some of which are healthier than others.

🔆

38. Sentimental Iterations by fabella

M/M | Rating: Explicit | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 33,370 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Future Fic, Season/Series 11, Season/Series 10, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Betrayal, Deception, Winchester Style Death (Not Typical Death), Semi Curtain Fic, Resolved Sexual Tension, Anal Sex, Rimming, Bottom Sam, Oral Sex, Sam is a big damn hero, Castiel-centric, Human Castiel, Big Brother Dean, Angst, Hurt Sam Winchester, Mental Instability, Sacrifice, Brother Feels, Grief/Mourning [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Castiel learned everything he knows about devotion from the Winchesters. In this peaceful future built on the back of Sam Winchester’s most recent sacrifice, Castiel discovers that death itself can be overcome. If he’s willing to pay the price. [Notes: Set after season 10. An entirely different take on season 11.]

🔆

39. Sam's Room by NobleHouseOfBlack

M/M | Rating: Not Rated | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,864 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: No Dialogue, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Platonic Cuddling, Feel-good

Summary: Sam's room in the bunker didn't seem like his room. He slept there occasionally but there was nothing that would indicate he lived there.

🔆

40. The Devil’s Gonna Let On That You’re In The Details by sahwen

M/M | Rating: Not Rated | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 3,055 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lucifer Possessing Castiel, Post-Episode: s11e10 The Devil in the Details, Episode: s11e14 The Vessel, Post-Episode: s11e14 The Vessel, Season/Series 12, this fic spans across a lot of time, Hook-Up, Sam Winchester Has Mental Health Issues, Trauma, Protective Dean Winchester, Supportive Dean, Post-Possession

Summary: Sam and Cas have been hooking up casually for a while when something feels off to Sam. He’s sure it’s just his mind playing tricks on him.

🔆

41. Loved by the Devil, loved by an angel by N_13

Part 1 of Of this damned reality

M/M | Rating: Mature | Rape/Non-Con | Words: 3,076 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Rape/Non-con Elements, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, everybody needs a hug, and therapy, Hurt/very little comfort, Unhealthy Relationships, No really every relationship in this is fucked up on some level, Hurt Sam Winchester, Season/Series 11, Lucifer Possessing Castiel, Enochian-Speaking Sam Winchester

Summary: Cas has loved Sam for quite some time. Then he said yes to Lucifer and everything went to hell.

🔆

42. Heartbreak is Savvy and Love is a Bitch by Cuda (Scylla)

M/M | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 2,405 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Lapdance, Light Dom/sub, Dom Castiel, Sub Sam Winchester, Sensation Play, Post-Episode: s11e14 The Vessel, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sam Winchester Deserves to be Happy, Safewords, Sam Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Sam Winchester is Bad at Self Care, Castiel's not the most experienced dom, Established Relationship, Light Angst [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Castiel and Sam work on some fractures in their relationship. A gentle attempt at sensory play goes awry, leaving them scrambling to ratchet things back up to normal. Part of the 2020 Supernatural Kink Bingo.

🔆

43. Thirty Years too Late by hyperbolicfae

Gen, M/M, Other | Rating: Teen+ | Rape/Non-Con | Words: 2,770 | Chapters: 2/2

Tags: Hurt Sam Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel, Aftermath of Torture, Implied Mind Rape, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Protective Mary Winchester

Summary: Mary Winchester has rescued her son. She’s just thirty years too late. Or: The aftermath of Sam’s rescue from the British Men of Letters

🔆

44. whore of babylon by angelszn (artbabe)

M/M | Rating: Mature | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 2,465 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Infidelity, Movie Night, Sam Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Floor Sex, Non-Penetrative Sex, Drinking, Dubious Consent, Past Rape/Non-con, Guilt, Gift Exchange [contains background destiel]

Summary: “Dean is a good man, and I love him. But sometimes, I…” Cas licks his lips. “Sam, I’m afraid.” Sam should leave. He should walk away. He should run. But his body is heavy and wine-drunk, his head spins at what Cas might be hinting at. “What are you afraid of?”

🔆

45. The One You're With by gracerene

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,397 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Unrequited Wincest, Unrequited Sastiel, Platonic Sex, Friendship, Sexually Inexperienced Castiel, Fuck Or Die, Curses, Frottage, POV Sam Winchester, Season/Series 12, Hung Sam Winchester, Present Tense

Summary: Sam knows better than to touch anything in the bunker that looks even the slightest bit suspicious. And yet…

🔆

46. Wins & Losses by Threshie

M/M, Multi | Rating: Teen+ | Major Character Death | Words: 17,384 | Chapters: 8/8

Tags: Temporarily Dead Castiel, Heartbroken Sam Winchester, Comforting Dean Winchester, Sharing a Bed, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sastiel, Wincest, Wincestiel, Poly Vee With Sam Pivot, Cuddling & Snuggling, Men of Letters Bunker, Angst with a Happy Ending, Touchy-Feely, Grieving Sam Winchester, Idiots in Love [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: A few months after Sam and Castiel start dating, the angel is killed. Still reeling from the loss of his best friend, Dean can’t just sit and watch Sam’s heartbreak slowly pull him away, too.

🔆

47. Now I am here by Matthew1972

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 13,728 | Chapters: 5/5

Tags: Friends to Lovers, Asexual Relationship, Literal Sleeping Together, Sharing a Bed, Feelings Realization, Hugs, Boys Kissing, Case Fic, Monster Hunters, Crime Scenes, Angst, Blood, Hurt, Pagan Gods, Magic

Summary: Castiel and Sam have come to another nameless town to free it from the claws of a dark and ancient power. As they work the case their friendship grows stronger, changing into something more or does it? This, here, now… brings the confirmation they each needed.

🔆

48. Something Good by posingasme

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,876 | Chapters: 4/4

Tags: Food Issues, showtunes, Sleep Deprivation, Hurt Sam Winchester, Sick Sam Winchester

Summary: Everyone deals with their losses in their own way, and Sam prefers to work things out on his own. But his angel friend can’t stand on the sidelines as the hunter wastes away in pain. Sam may have had a complex past, but an angel’s love is proof that he must have done something good.

🔆

49. Something to Talk About by Fae-and-night (goodgirlgonegeek16)

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 777 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: mentions Castiel but he's not actually here, Bunker Era, Dean being a big brother, telltale hickies, Love Bites

Summary: To be honest, Sam thought it took Dean way longer than he would’ve expected to figure he and Castiel were together.

🔆

50. Lois by posingasme

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 4,195 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Superman References (DCU), Awkward Crush, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings

Summary: Jack discovers the joy of comic books, and reminds Castiel of a time when Bobby Singer called him Superman. And Dean had an opinion about who his Lois Lane was.

🔆

51. Happy Ain't a Two-Story Victorian, But it Might Be This by Cuda (Scylla)

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,382 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Episode: s14e15 Peace of Mind, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fake Marriage, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Dean Winchester Tries, Family Issues, Jack Kline & Dean Winchester Bonding

Summary: Sam and Castiel have been on a mission to an Arkansas hamlet, and they haven't checked in. When Dean and Jack trail them to a quiet street in Charming Acres, what they find is nothing like either of them expected. To be honest, cleaning out a nest of vampires might be easier than this, but Dean's going to give it the old college try. Whatever that means.

🔆

52. Milestones and Misunderstandings by klove0511

Part 2 of Milestones 'verse

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 2,711 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: mildly homophobic!Mary, inappropriate anniversary gifts, protective!Dean, Sam Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Season/Series 14, Fluff, Tumblr Prompt, Oblivious!Dean

Summary: There is something different about Sam and Cass. The lingering stares, the intimate touches. The careful whispers and secret smiles. Dean knew it. He was going to get to the bottom of it, one way or another.

🔆

53. Stricta Dormire by klove0511

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Major Character Death | Words: 3,583 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Temporary Character Death, Fairy Tale Type Death, Established Relationship, Hurt Sam Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hell Trauma, Season/Series 14 Spoilers, Sad Dean Winchester, Sad Castiel, Grief/Mourning, True Love's Kiss

Summary: When Sam is hit by a spell, Cass is the only one that can save him. Meanwhile, Dean is grieving his brother, unaware of the struggle going on within Sam’s mind.

🔆

54. Roadhouse Rough by posingasme

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 12,738 | Chapters: 10/10

Tags: Curtain Fic, Alcohol, Hurt Sam Winchester, Retired Hunter Sam Winchester, Bartender Sam Winchester, Permanent Injury

Summary: The last tangle with the last archangel ended with an act of spite, from which Sam will never recover. Lucifer’s bitter parting gift to his wayward vessel means Sam’s forced retirement. He runs the hub from his very own Roadhouse, and watches over a powered-down nephilim, while a weakened but recovering Castiel hunts at Dean’s side. It’s a rough life, but someone’s got to do it.

🔆

55. Familiar Spirits by Cuda (Scylla)

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 6,619 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Wisconsin - Freeform, The Beast of Bray Road, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Season/Series 15, Monster of the Week, Case Fic, Sastiel Secret Santa Exchange, Sastiel - Freeform, Sastiel Secret Santa 2019

Summary: Fills in a little gap of time between 15-7 and 15-8. Sam's on the hunt for Eileen, and winds up on a case in the middle of Wisconsin in December. What seems like a straightforward case of werewolves gets out of hand, when the werewolves turn out to be something Sam's never encountered before. It's Castiel to the rescue, but in the middle of the night in a refrigerator of a forest, one wrong move could be the last one they ever make.

🔆

56. a rock with a hole in it by De_Nugis

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 11,052 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: faerie - Freeform, possibly in some way a Canadian shack fic, except Faerie, Consent Issues, animal death (hunting), Unrequited Destiel, Soulless Sam Winchester, POV Castiel

Summary: Castiel walks back into Faerie with Sam's soul in a jar in his pocket.

🔆

57. Right Now by spideybegins

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,512 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Hurt Sam Winchester, Comforting Castiel, samcas, Sastiel - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Season/Series 15, Angst, Crying Sam Winchester, Don’t Look at These Messy Tags, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, no beta we die like men

Summary: The one where Cas hears Sam crying and realizes he’s been avoiding the youngest Winchester for much too long. Set somewhere in season 15.

🔆

58. It’s Good to Be Here Again, With You by raisinghellonstarbug

M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 2,240 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Canon Compliant, Reunions, Mentioned Dean Winchester, Fluff and Angst, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Sharing a Bed, Season/Series 15, Episode: s15e07 Last Call

Summary: Sam is missing Castiel and doesn't understand why he left. He knows Dean has something to do with it. But then he shows back up just in time before Sam's in real trouble.

🔆

59. wishing too hard for them to stay by angelfishofthelord

Gen | Rating: Not Rated | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 1,727 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Episode s15e17 coda, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, One Shot, Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Speculation, POV First Person, POV Sam Winchester [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: You tell me you’re doing to die, and I don’t yell at you. Instead I say, “Let’s go for a walk.”

🔆

⚠️ Unfinished Fic - last updated in 2013

60. Of Blood And Water by lovedsammy

M/M, Gen | Rating: Mature | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 20,081 Chapters: 7/?

Tags: 8x23, Fallen Angels, Post Season/Series 08, Hurt/Comfort, Family, Romance, Angst, fallen!cas, Hurt!Sam, Hurt!Cas, Slash, stigmata!sam, Stigmata, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, AU, Season/Series 9 canon divergent, Friendship

Summary: Now AU to season 9! Post-8x23, "Sacrifice". Both of them were wounded, broken, in need of repair; both of them had done things in the name of the greater good and had ultimately failed and caused something or another to bend and break and destroy upon itself. They'd both wrecked themselves to achieve an end, and in turn wrecked others. But they couldn't have been more than two opposites on the end of the spectrum that somehow aligned at the middle-point, and now there was no going back.

🔆

💜💀🖤 Self Rec 💜💀🖤

(because this is a list of my favs, and I wrote it for me)

61. grief and husbands on the interstate by ladygizarme

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 2,787 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: background wincest, background wincestiel - Freeform, they're a polycule but they're sam-centered, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Rimming, Bottom Sam Winchester, Spit As Lube, Wound Tending, Episode: s14e01 Stranger in a Strange Land, part coda, Part fix-it, Polyamory, Anal Sex

Summary: En route from Detroit back to the bunker, Cas makes them stop at a motel. Sam is exhausted, and so is everybody else. But right now, Castiel's priority is Sam, and he knows just what he needs. Part coda, part fix-it to 14x01.

71 notes · View notes

doctorprofessorsong · 1 year

Text

Destiel Fic Recs

It's that time of year where nobody knows what day it is or how they got there, so why not hide from your family/boss to read Destiel fics. And friends, this last list of 2022 may be the best so far.

The Leap by FriendofCarlotta @friendofcarlotta (Explicit, 82k words)

I don't know how to explain the way 91W lit up my brain like one of those old electricity balls at Spencer's but I thought I would never have that experience again until this fic came along. It's a very different, much softer story, but this fic has the 91W vibes that make you want to crunch on your own bones (vintage gay sadness is the tag we live in here). Its so deeply rooted in a sense of place and time. Dean and Cas are so clearly and immediately bonded and kept apart by circumstance. The longing y'all. The way they can't help but fall in love at the risk of their lives and freedom. It's gorgeous.

The fic is set in post WWII occupied Berlin in a divided Germany just before the wall goes up. Cas is a closeted police officer in East Berlin, trying his best to survive under a brutal dictatorship in an environment in which reporting your neighbors is not just encouraged, but expected. Dean is an American-born mechanic residing in West Berlin. For both of them, falling in love with a man could mean arrest, prosecution, and worse.

But they can't help the instant attraction between them. Neither of them is ready to walk away from the hope of a future together, as impossible of a dream as that is.

Beyond the 91W vibes, the thing about this fic is that the canon parallels are just so beautiful. Cas is expected to comply with a rigid hierarchy and to obey absolutely. Dean is trying his best to find optimism for those around him, and he has an irresistible early seasons charm and brashness that makes you fall instantly in love with him. And while there is period homophobia and oppression in this fic, FriendofCarlotta also pulls so much queer joy into the story. A slice of gorgeous community built against all odds and euphoria at finding love and family and shelter in the most hostile of places.

This story made me ugly cry (a true feat) and it's one of those stories you finish and consider turning back to Chapter 1 and reading it all over again. Seriously. Go read it then yell at me about it.

The Law of Equivalent Exchange by awed_frog @awed-frog (Mature, 60k)

This is the fic you have to read in one sitting because you don't want to be crushed by a falling desk like in Mystery Spot and never see the ending. It is gorgeous in a way that I think may have irrevocably changed me. A testament to love and devotion that left me absolutely breathless.

Cas, Angel of Tears, is assigned to watch over the lives of two brothers, tied together and experiencing hundreds of lifetimes of sorrow and joy in preparation for some mysterious Heavenly plan. His mission is to watch over a green-eyed boy, to guide him into each next life. The human doesn't know, doesn't remember (mostly), but it's impossible to ignore the growing bond between them. Cas finds himself inexorably changed by watching the many lives he experiences.

This is a canon fic (and tbh if you don't know canon the middle is going to confuse you because it's a reimagining of canon events with this context). That means awed-frog has somehow managed to make the crunchy Destiel scenes even more heart wrenching (extra crispy?).

This fic had me crying by Chapter 2. It's just a beautiful sweeping epic. And it does have a soft and beautiful landing. I will be thinking about it for awhile.

Märchen by tiamatv (Mature, 93k)

Fairy tale princess Dean Winchester. That's the delightful headline for this really fun and inventive fic. Dean of Winchester is the eldest prince but he lacks magic, making his brother the heir. What else do you do with a spare but promise to marry him off for political reasons, in this case to Michael, an Angel from a neighboring kingdom who lent his swords to Winchester to defeat the demons.

But Dean isn't gonna be some kept pretty thing, so he shocks everyone by saying no. Michael won't marry Dean without his consent, but that term is used very loosely, as angels do. So Dean is locked in a tower full of monsters where he is cursed to remain until he consents or finds his true love.

It's a tale as old as time (yes I said that), but there are some delightfully fresh elements. From Charlie the dragon princess (marry me, Charlie) to a sentient carnivorous hedge, the quirky characters make this fic impossible to put down. There are also some delightful genre choices such as an omnipotent narrator that make this fic feel comforting yet fresh.

In the end, you will be rooting for the angel knight and his prince to slay their inner demons.

A Crash Course in Computer Safety by followthattardis @debatchery (Explicit, 29k)

I love a good fusion and as a fan of the show Chuck, this Chuck Destiel AU absolutely slaps. If you are unfamiliar with the show, it's still an absolutely fun ride. Dean is stuck working at a Best Buy rip off as essentially a member of the Geek Squad. His life is in shambles after his best friend got him expelled from Stanford and stole his girlfriend, but he's making due.

That is until a mysterious email from his ex best friend throws him into a world of intrigue. Suddenly he's got the CIA and the NSA breathing down his neck. Even worse, he has to pretend to be dating the scorching hot CIA operative as a cover.

The Destiel feels are surprisingly potent for a mash-up, and the story is paced so well you won't want to put it down. Bonus points for perfect use of Henriksen.

Buckle up and cue up Short Skirt-Long Jacket by Cake.

The Shadow in the Corner by MalMuses @malmuses (Explicit, 47k)

I don't know that there are many fic writers who excel so thoroughly at classic romance as MalMuses. Her fics bring such a fantastic mix of horny, humor and softness. This one is no exception.

A Victorian steampunk story, this one is set in an alternative timeline where magic is known and the MOL openly fight monsters. Dean aka the Red Hand is tasked with a special investigation - to solve why a monster seems to be targeting the head of the agency's little brother, Castiel.

There's a good bit if mystery and intrigue, but the the headline for me was the delightful way Dean and Cas were both very aware of this instant connection and slowly orbiting each other as gravity pulled them closer. There's a softness to their relationship and it's largely external angst that keeps them apart as long as they are, but you never doubt that they are entirely gone for one another. Yes they suffer from perpetual horniness around each other, but its also very clear they genuinely like each other in a way that melted my cold dead heart.

In the end, a fun read with an exceptionally satisfying ending.

4:08 to Tombstone by Zuzeca (Explicit, 20k)

Cas is a Seraph with a mission: to save Dean Winchester, to retrieve the Michael Sword from Hell. But Dean perceives Hell not as it is, but instead as the wild west. Thrown into a bisexual cowboy fantasy, Cas has to navigate a dangerous escape while protecting this beautiful soul from those who would destroy it.

This fic is an absolute treasure. Amazing trueform angel descriptions, some gorgeous treatment of Dean’s Hell trauma, and a poignant bond between Dean and Cas that makes it a really sweet read (though mind the tags it gets dark). Its a really fun and novel take on the escape from Hell.

All That Remains by DoctorProfessorSong (Mature, 16k)

I am going to be annoying and self-rec here but I just released a fic I am super proud of. It's bittersweet and emotional and I poured my grief and parts of my soul into it. The tags are daunting but I do think it ends in a satisfying and hopeful place.

The stabfest story examines a canon divergent world where Dean is turned into a demon by the MOC, and Cas is forced to kill him to free him. He has a plan to save Dean, but it fails and Dean makes a deal with the Shadow to escape the Empty. The same deal as Cas. What follows is a reinterpretation of canon where both of them are unable to speak the truth because they risk losing it all.

It's a story about love and loss and hope. And perhaps most importantly it's a story about faith, not as some cheap fix-all, but as something that you hold in your heart in the darkest places.

Tag list below the cut. Let me know if you want to be tagged in future lists.

@varlysca @naturallyathief @greatbigbuggerer @fandoms-and-things @cascodedtech @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @deanwasalwaysbi @fellshish @valleydean @raspberry-tooth @the15yearhatecrime

#destiel fic recs #deancas fic recs #destiel fic rec #deancas fic rec #Destiel #deancas #spn fic recs #supernatural fic rec

299 notes · View notes

cashorrors · 1 month

Text

genfics!!!! Check it out and if anyone has fics you think I should read, send them to me

#spn #supernatural #spn fics #supernatural fics #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #supernatural fic recs #spn fic recs

32 notes · View notes

assigned-boyking-at-birth · 10 months

Text

Endverse Supernatural Fanfics

A Gift For Demeter by Lennelle: In which Dean was not killed by Lucifer in the showdown of 2014. In which Dean got his hands on an archangel blade. In which Lucifer is dead and Sam is, miraculously, still living. In which Sam tries his best to grow plants in the dried-up earth.

Glass by Lanri: A five part series with lots of hurt Sam.

After Life, Death by Min Daae (Lise): Castiel never expected to live through the end of the end of the world. Sam didn't either. Castiel takes care of Sam after everything doesn't end. Sort of. (If you’ve followed my blog for long you know I’m obsessed with Lise fics)

The Right Word by Lanri: Dean's assault with the Colt works and somehow, Sam survives...mostly. Dean and Cas take a silent, shellshocked, and guilt-ridden Sam back to camp.

(and we all end up alone) by Lise: Some people don’t believe in self-isolation. Or, what Sam was up to before Detroit. Meanwhile, the world ends.

And this Great Blue World of Ours by vilkagami: A man wakes up in a ruined wasteland, without memories, without a name, without knowing the strange guy who claims to once have been an angel, or that he once had a little brother. (Huge AU, huge TW, but the ending of this fic changed me as a person)

Thistle and Weeds by Lise: Sam can't get infected. Sam wants to help. Meanwhile, Dean worries.

(Part Two)

#I have like 6 more so I’ll make a part two but I’m literally at work right now lol #if you can’t tell I love these types of fics #spn #supernatural #sam winchester #dean Winchester #castiel #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #fic recs #fic rec #spn fic recs

55 notes · View notes

forestofsprites · 7 months

Note

hi hi! i think i saw a post from you a bit a go about autistic cas fics? perhaps you just read one or were going through the tag- if this was you, i dont suppose you could link the name of it/them please (id rather read fics someone else said were decent)? if this wasnt you and i’m mistaken, please ignore!

hello!! it very much was me, and i'd be happy to pass those along :]

so, quite a few of these aren't explicit autistic cas (i.e, they're not tagged that way by the author), but being autistic and reading the fic and knowing cas etc etc it reads as autistic cas to me- so i've bookmarked it as such for future reference :]

i'll make a note below of which fics are tagged outright as autistic cas, and which are just me understanding cas' behaviour in such a way!

tagged autistic cas:

you don't need to worry - hedderstheowl

i sing the body electric - hedderstheowl

all things please the soul - hedderstheowl

weird but confident - almaasi

perceived by me as autistic cas:

echoes in the dead of dawn - casfallsinlove

aspersorium - fleeceframe

stories are made of mistakes - wildhoneypie

teachable moments - violethaze

sam accidentally sees the whole picture - almaasi

some people would all this romantic - almaasi

ceramic figurines - majorenglishesquire

the ao3 of knowledge - fellshish

the yee to my haw - emeraldcas

#hello to the mutuals whose fics i've listed above<3 you're all very cool and your fics are bookmarked so extensively and so sweetly #i have gone through the entire autistic cas tag + related (sensory overload/angels being weird/etc) and these are all the fics i've ended u #bookmarking and tagging with my autistic cas tag #and ofc by autistic cas i don't mean he didn't get a sarcastic line- it's also just... me relating to the worldview cas exhibits and whatno #so i hope you like them too anon!!#ask #spn #spn fic recs #autistic cas

14 notes · View notes

mrcowboydeanwinchester · 1 year

Text

🌸 sapphicnatural fic rec list! 💜

inspired by the ever wonderful @lesbianjoannaharvelle i decided it was finally time for me to make a sapphicnatural fic rec list! these are my (current) favourite 10 sapphicnatural fics of all time, and there's such a mix in here i really do think there's something for everyone. enjoy <3

Growing A New Half Soul by HeddersTheOwl @kerryweaverlesbian

E, jody/donna, 18k

one of my favourite spn fics ever. incredible writing and characterisation, gorgeously sensual and great disablednatural content too. cannot recommend enough

Violet by ghost_roads @queerstudiesnatural

NR, jo/cassie, 4k

the blueprint for a whole era of sapphicnatural posting - essential reading for sapphicnatural truthers. a spendidly written case fic with the atmosphere of early supernatural, just endlessly better

A Weight Lifted by knifegirlruby @lesbianjoannaharvelle

G, jo, 1k

jo shaves her head. an outstanding exploration of jo having some very butch, sapphic, gender feelings, with lines which make me gasp out loud every time i read them

Listen, I tell you a mystery by bathilda bagshot

T, anna/mary, destiel, 26k

when i think of annamary, i think of this fic; it completely altered the lens through which i view both mary and anna. it switches between mary and dean's pov, but this only serves to make you feel more insane over everyone involved

my heart a rotary phone and yours the only number i dial by halfwheeze @magdaclaire

T, ellen/missouri, 10k

an atmospheric and vividly moving fic which delves into some of our most beloved but underrated female characters throughout their lives. another defining sapphicnatural fic for me

Faith Undone by iamfoxfire @supersapphical

E, anna/laylah, 9k

would it really be a sapphicnatural rec list without this fic? absolutely game-changing, and an incredible example of a thoughtful, artfully contructed one hit wonder (also with some of the best religious imagery smut i've read)

Coda by basset_voyager

T, jo/anna, 12k

some of the most heartfelt jo characterisation out there, with absolutely beautiful writing and images which still stick with me. both jo and anna are given wonderful space to breathe

Fragile As We Lie by perilously

E, anna/bela, 11k

anna drags bela out of hell. this is full to the brim with meaningful characterisationl; there's incredible interplay between anna and bela and the sexuality of the tension between them

i don't know nothing (and that's fine) by halfwheeze

G, madga/claire, 7k

another mindblowing rendition of a thoughtful, gorgeous one hit wonder. heavy and sweet with a chance for both characters to really shine, an absolute sapphicnatural must-read

the righteous woman (and the fallen angel) by high_queen

G, jo/anna, 1k

the lazarus rising arc annajo rewrite you never knew you desperately needed. the concept alone is incredible and its execution is impeccable - for a short fic, it leaves a big impact

🌸and some cheeky bonus sapphicnatural fics from yours truly <3🌸

Jo Daily

T, jo/cassie, 37k

previously unseen entries of Jo's blog from 2005. follow her struggles with her mother and the absence of her father, her experiences with her first boyfriend rick, and her first positive encounters with girls her own age

jo, aged 13, removes nail polish behind a locked bathroom door

G, jo, 1k

the freak with the knife collection tries to paint her nails

be still, my beating heart

T, jo/rowena, 1k

the jo stabs rowena homoeritcally in the heart fic

#i cannot emphasise enough how difficult it was to just put 10 fics on this list. every single one of these fics makes me feral #sapphicnatural really just hits different and i love it SO MUCH #please read them!!!!!!! please share them!!!!!!!!!!!! please show them to everyone you know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#please comment and tell the authors you adore them and their writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sapphicnatural #spn fic recs #spn ladies #spn women #spn fic #fic rec #fic rec list #ola writes #ola originals

83 notes · View notes

torturedpoetemotions · 6 months

Note

im sorry but you need to drop the demon dean/priest cas links now

There is a shameful lack of this on AO3, which is strange to me because the dynamic is SO good. Dean is so completely unrepressed and unrepentant as a demon it's delightful, and Cas as a priest is stuffy and brooding in a way that's equally delightful. But out of what's there there are a LOT of unfinished fics and Dead Dove fics that include things like graphic torture and MCD, which are not my bag.

All of that to say, this is a very short rec list.

Meet Cute by SomethingBlue42

Don't Wanna Let You Down But I Am Hellbound (Oh this is all for you) by SomethingBlue42

Called In Convocation by avysosseleison

O Come, All Ye Faithful by outoftheashes - how seasonally appropriate, also mind the tags on this one

#supernatural #spn fic recs #rec list #fanfiction #dean winchester #demon!dean #ask box #acklesology #I should create a collection on ao3 tbh #I have my favorites bookmarked but I should gather those bookmarks

8 notes · View notes

fogsrollingin · 9 months

Text

Touch Starved!Sam Fic Reclist

New reclist just posted: touch starvation (often mixed with hell trauma)

I adore these fics everybody go to my website and then go read these fics 🔥🔥🔥

#supernatural #sam winchester #touch starvation #touch starved #touchstarved!samwinchester #dean winchester #hurt/comfort #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #spn fic #spn fic recs #my fic recs #my spn fic recs

7 notes · View notes

grievingdeanwinchester · 4 months

Link

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak, Castiel & Jack Kline & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy, Jack Kline, Claire Novak, The Empty | The Shadow (Supernatural), Kaia Nieves Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Selectively Mute Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Has a Cat Allergy, or does he?, Jack Kline as God, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Suptober 2023 (Supernatural), They All Know ASL to Some Extent, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, the cat is inspired by my sister's cat, he got lost and im sad about it so im immortalizing him in this fic, Dean Winchester Saves Castiel from the Empty, How Do I Tag, My First Work in This Fandom, sorry if it sucks, References to Coraline, day 7: black cat, Dean Winchester Uses ASL, Sam Winchester Uses ASL, We ignore the series finale here sir, Retired Hunter Dean Winchester, Eileen is Part of Team Free Will 2.0, i wanted to add more characters but wasn't sure how to fit them into the storyline rip Summary:

"It's a game we play. She...hates cats and tries to keep me out. But she can't, of course. I come and go as I please." - Cat, Coraline (2009).

Dean can't move on. He's not even sure he wants to. His family and friends are all worried about him, he knows. But he can't seem to bring himself to be fine. Hell, he can't even make himself voice his inability to be fine. The most he can manage is to stay alive, to make it so the sacrifices weren't all for nothing. So he takes life each day at a time, never daring to think farther ahead than that. He doesn't have the right to think about the future. His future died in that dungeon with Cas.

Dean's willing to soldier on like this forever, as miserable as it is. But then he comes across a cat. Or rather, a cat comes across him. He's pretty damn lucky it did.

Suptober 2023 Day 7: Black Cat

#spn fic recs #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #eileen leahy #spn

3 notes · View notes

fictionalnutter · 2 months

Text

Okay, disclaimer that I may just write this myself, but.

I have read a ton of Destiel fic in which Jack is their kid and they're all a happy family (often times including a period of Dean apologizing for being a dickhead to Jack), and Sam is still sort of Jack's dad but also more like his uncle because he's Castiel's kid the most and Dean is with Cas, so.

Are there any fics out there that do a good job focusing on how special Sam and Jack's relationship is? I don't want to undercut his relationship with Cas and Dean, but the stuff he has in common with Sam and their dynamic is something I wanted to see more in canon. Plus also Jack validating that Sam is still one of his dads even if his other two dads are together. (or not, not looking for Destiel fic specifically here) I just really want fic where Sam's relationship with Jack is important and he's not more like the dad-who-is-actually-like-an-uncle.

#spn fic recs #supernatural #spn #sam and jack #sam winchester #jack kline #supernatural fanfic #spn fic #supernatural fic search

3 notes · View notes

doctorprofessorsong · 1 year

Text

Destiel Fic Recs

Some more recs for your reading pleasure. This one is AU heavy, so enjoy the feast if that's what you crave.

First Response to Love by Briston and Whitster_lizzy @whitster-lizzy (Explicit, 98k)

This crack taken seriously rom com is an absolute delight. You will be giggling the entire time at this one.

Cas is stuck in a dead end reporter job at a failing station in the unfortunately or hilariously (depending on your level of middle school humor) named town of Uranus.

When Cas' cat gets stuck in a tree, his panicked call results in the fire department (and half of emergency services) showing up - including his wet-dream-slash-crush Dean Winchester. He recognizes Dean from a charity calendar, and he may be just a smidge obsessed with him. Like owns a bunch of merch with his picture obsessed. But what he doesn’t know is Dean also has a massive crush on Castiel. Like an embarrassing, watch DVR recordings of the man over and over crush. Dean manages to get it together enough to ask Cas to report on a public safety measure and what follows is a very public and adorable courtship that just might save the station.

Expect mutual disaster idiots, lots and lots of humor and a delightful cast of residents. But also this fic has an underlying softness that will have you unable to put it down. Also, a developing friendship between Balthazar, Gabriel and Crowley that is the best thing that has happened to me personally in a long time.

Seriously, it's a delight.

Linden by fleeceframe @tasteslikevelvet (Explicit, 76k)

Look, fleeceframe has this incredible ability to write gorgeous, gentle stories that take apart your heart like a 500 piece puzzle and put it back together. This one is both particularly soft and particularly beautiful.

A fairytale AU, this tells the story of Cas, a shy and lonely honey merchant who falls in love with one of the Swans, local celebrities, who as a result of a curse, turn into swans. There are wings. There is gorgeous worldbuilding. But most importantly, there is just this gorgeous love story between two very lonely men who feel invisible.

They don't just accept each other, they cherish each other. It’s gorgeous.

The Handyman's Special by Carrieosity @carrieosity (Explicit, 51k)

If you want a good laugh, this is the fic for you. I was cracking up the ENTIRE time.

Dean, a professor with minimal construction experience and a shoddy home inspection, buys a fixer upper that's more like a money pit. But he can’t face the "I told you so" from Sam, so he hires a contractor in secret. And then to keep that secret, he lies and says the contractor, Cas, is his boyfriend.

What follows is a disaster-Dean rom com with a lot of heart. The angst never gets too angsty. It's fun and sweet and hilarious.

Too Hot To Hunt by Englandwouldfall (Teen, 19k)

A canon fix-it case fic that reverses the fuck or die trope. Dean and Cas encounter a monster that attacks couples during intimacy. Which means two things: 1. Dean has to reveal to his brother that he and Cas have been an item since he came back, and 2. Dean and Cas may have to use their words instead of hiding behind sexual intimacy. So that’s not awkward at all.

This one is just immensely satisfying, digging into all of the things that make Dean and Cas so bad at communicating. It's soft, awkward, and mildly angsty in the best way.

Jurassicatural by anyrei and queerwerewolf @anyreiart @queerwerewolf @the-real-anywolf (Explicit, 34k)

A delightful mashup of Jurassic Park and SPN, this one is just really fun. Chuck Shurley had created a new theme park for long extinct monsters, but his investors have one requirement before opening: sign-off from experts on the creatures.

Enter the Winchester brothers, a Paleontologist and Paleobotanist, and Dr. Cas Novak, Historian. But life finds a way and so does trouble.

In addition to just being fun, this one features an instant obsession between Destiel that is really fun to watch, a delightfully moody Claire, a sunny Jack and some really fun monsters.

Fata morgana by orange_crushed (Teen, 6.6k)

This is a short read but woof. It really packs a punch. A canon adjacent story in Hell told from the perspective of Bela Talbot, it's the kind of fic that will make you want to munch on the shower door.

There's an angel in Hell and Bela is going to find him. The angel? Cas seeking out Dean, the King of Hell.

This one plays with the lore in an extremely satisfying way. It's justice for Bela, though not in a saccharine sweet way, and also some really lovely Cas stuff.

A Demon Like Him by EllenOfOz @ellen-of-oz (Explicit, 24k)

If you are looking for some fun worldbuilding, this fic has you. Set in a world powered by magic, Dean is on the cusp of graduating and becoming a warlock. It's everything his father has ever wanted…and now he has to admit nothing he actually wants. Dean is determined to fail the final exam - to summon and bind himself to a demon - so that he can finally be free. Unfortunately for Dean, he fails at failing and instead summons an incubus, Castiel.

This one has some gorgeous nods to canon and it's simply a fun, sizzling read. The angst isn't too angsty. Cas is basically a sex God. It’s good, dirty fun. On top of that, Dean and Cas have some absolutely gorgeous soft moments.

Dark Side of the Moon by imogenbynight @thevioletcaptain (Mature, 37k)

An astronaut AU similar in some aspects to the Martian: after Dean's crew is killed in an accident on the moon, he's left alone and traumatized. Cas volunteers to help retrieve him, but can they make it in time and what will they find when they get there?

This one has a nice balance of horror elements, trauma, and humor. It also has just really likeable cast of characters. Even though you know it will all end well, there are some delightfully tense moments and the immediate bond between Cas and Dean is a delight.

See my other fic recs on my new sideblog @riversrecs

Tag list

@varlysca @naturallyathief @greatbigbugger @fandoms-and-things @cascodedtech @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @deanwasalwaysbi @fellshish @valleydean @raspberry-tooth @the15yearhatecrime @sunglassesmish

#destiel #deancas #deancas fic rec #destiel fic rec #deancas fic recs #destiel fic recs #spn fic recs #supernatural #spn

165 notes · View notes

assigned-boyking-at-birth · 1 year

Text

Testing Lucifer’s Promise-Fic Recs

death, becomes ye by @saintsurvivors: He shudders back to life twenty minutes later, sunrise falling across his face. There are no new missed calls. (This fic changed my brain chemistry and not for the better)

The World Ends With You by tangledaria: Sam comes back to life with a gasp, choking on a mouthful of blood.

Everything Dies Given Time by Lise: AU from 5.03. Sam discovers something wrong with himself, and learns to live with it. Only a lot less functional. (I have read this an unhealthy amount of times)

Hearts Deep and Dark as a Well by Lise: Dean’s POV of Everything Dies Given Time

On the Inverted Undoing of a Boy King by Sarahjeanne21: In which Sam snaps while Dean is busy not having fun at a crappy dive bar. Dean listens to Sam's breakdown with a stomach full of rotten whisky and 1600 miles in between them.

Hindsight 20/20 by The_Bookkeeper: Being in the same room isn't the same as being together. Someone decides that Dean needs a little extra kick to get him back in gear with his brother before it's too late.

Giving Up (Is Hard To Do) by authoressnebula: There's nothing left for Sam to do but this. Despite the parting, he still calls. And despite the parting, Dean still races to get to him.

Practical Application by ratherastory: Everything's still wrong. Dean pulls a drunken confession out of Sam, but he's pretty sure he doesn't know how to fix it. No plot, just angst.

parodies of holiness, resurrections in the rain by occasionally_always: It's easy to die. Sam would know; he's done it an awful lot. Really, the worst part is the trek back.

**trigger warning on all of these**

#fic rec #fic recs #fanfic recommendation #spn #supernatural #sam winchester #spn fic recs #fic rec list #supernatural fanfiction

103 notes · View notes

fandom-hoarder · 1 year

Note

hiii !! i hope youre well <3 i was wondering if you had any reccs for season 6 fics like aus where the soullessness is dealt with faster/everyone knowing sooner or just good s6 fics please hehe

Hi, nonnie!! I'm well, but I've been very scatterbrained lately. I hoped to have a nice little list for you before my surgery, but it's been really difficult to concentrate and then the lj deletion problem the other day. Since post-surgery might make this take even longer, I want to send this request out for crowdsourcing.

Hey fandom friends! Got any good s6 AU recs for nonnie? Maybe some classic ones that aren't as easily found with tags, too? (I'm assuming wincest/gencest here, but genfic also welcome.) 💕

In the meantime, you might find something that scratches the itch on my recent s6 AU Rec List

And this is technically s7 AU, but we just read this in the Wincest Book Club and I loved it. Codepenchesters FTW.

#asks #anon asks #spn s6 au #s6 sam #my rec list #wincest fanfiction #samdean fanfiction #fic search #spn fic recs #wincest fic recs

11 notes · View notes

and-stir-the-stars · 2 years

Text

These Tears Dry

summary: Au where Cas says goodbye to Sam post 15x03, intending to go back to Heaven

ao3

Notes Please note that what Sam and Dean call "angel radio," angels call "receiving revelation" Takes place a month and a half after Cas leaves the Bunker in 15x03

...

Sam had pushed himself too hard on his run this morning.

His entire body was sore and aching, there was a cramp in his side like he hadn't gotten since he had first started going on runs years ago, and he was still half-panting even as he dug through his wardrobe for a change of clothes. His running clothes were plastered to his skin, which was itchy and damp from sweat. He was desperate for a shower.

Sam had been going farther and farther on his morning runs lately, spending longer and longer away from the Bunker. He liked that jarring feeling of his feet slamming into the ground, one after the other in a predictable and familiar pattern. He liked the way everything seemed to fade away as he ran and his world got reduced to the bare simplicities: the feeling of concrete and hard-packed dirt under his feet, the whoosh of air through his hair and fingertips, and the burning in his lungs. Nothing else mattered as long as he was running. He didn't have to think about anything.

There were a lot of things he didn't want to think about these days.

No.

Sam grabbed a t-shirt and jeans at random and made his way to the bathroom. He had almost closed the bedroom door behind him when the ringing of a phone froze him in his tracks.

Sam ran back into his room so fast he tripped over his feet and almost slammed face-first into the floor. His eyes shot wildly around the room-- where had he left his phone? -- before the phone rang again and his gaze snapped to the nightstand. He was across the room before the second ring finished, but his heart sank when he saw the caller ID flashing on the screen.

It was an unfamiliar string of numbers.

He could have thrown the damn phone into the wall. It had been a month and a half since Dean had told him that Castiel had left the Bunker. A month and a half of texting Cas every single day, a month and a half of unread messages and unanswered calls, and Sam still expected Cas' name to flash across the screen every time he got a notification.

Glaring down at the stream of numbers as though they had personally offended him, Sam snatched up his phone and hovered his finger over the decline call button, but stopped himself from hitting it at the last second. The general rule of thumb for hunters was always answer your phone. You never knew whether a friend, or even a friend of a friend, who needed help might be on the other end.

Sighing, the hunter answered the phone. "Yeah?"

Silence on the other end. Then, right as the hunter was about to hang up, a voice spoke. "Hello, Sam."

The breath caught in Sam's throat, and he clutched at the edge of the nightstand so hard his knuckles went white. "Cas?" Sam pulled the phone away from his ear long enough to check the caller ID again like he might have somehow missed the angel's name and number, but of course he hadn't.

A million questions reared their heads from where they had been simmering non-stop in the back of his mind.

Where are you? Are you okay? Why haven't you been answering the phone? Why the hell did you leave without saying goodbye? Are you hurt? Are you coming back? Did you not realize that leaving would fucking crush me? Did you ever stop to think about that? Do you even care?

Sam didn't say any of them. "Cas, it's-- it's good to hear from you again."

He waited, but there was nothing on the other end. "Uh, Cas? Are you…"

"I'm here," the angel interrupted, and Sam could have cried hearing Castiel’s familiar rumble after so long of silence and fear and uncertainty. And to think that he had almost ignored the call.

Suddenly Sam's knees gave out and he half-sat, half-fell onto the bed behind him.

Oh, God. He had almost ignored the call. And if Cas had called fifteen seconds later, Sam would have been already down the hall and never would have heard the phone ringing. Cas was right here and Sam had almost missed him.

"Cas," Sam repeated, trying to keep the panic out of his voice, but why was Cas calling now? What had changed? "Are you okay?"

"I'm… fine, Sam. I'm better than I was, at least. Uh. How are you and… how are you, Sam?"

"I'm good," Sam said and ignored the way the lie wrenched his stomach. "I've missed you, though, Cas. A lot." The hunter bit his lip, wanting to ask Cas why he hadn't been replying to any of Sam's texts or calls, but fearing what might happen if he pushed. "I didn't recognize the number when you called…"

"I'm using a payphone. I had my cell phone, but I… broke it," Cas said, but Sam could tell there was something the angel wasn't saying there. Something about Castiel’s tone made Sam wonder if the broken phone had truly been accidental.

Sam had tried tracking Cas through his phone two weeks ago. He hadn't wanted to invade Cas' privacy initially, but after a month of silence and not knowing what had happened to his friend or if Cas was okay and of getting only non-answers every time he asked Dean about what had happened, Sam had broken. But the website hadn't worked. None of the phone tracking websites or apps had worked.

It hadn't been lost on Sam that Cas had known him and Dean long enough to know some of their most basic tracking methods. To know to ditch his phone if he didn't want to be found. And his car. Sam had tried tracking that, too, before concluding that Cas must have changed trucks after he left.

"Oh." Sam opened his mouth to offer Cas one of their spare phones-- that was a reasonable way of getting Cas to come back, right? -- but that wasn't what came out. "I prayed to you."

A heavy sigh came over the phone, and Sam felt it like a blow to the chest.

"I turned those off, Sam. My head, it's-- it's been loud enough without adding prayers on top of it. And I needed time to think."

The ache spreading through Sam's chest eased. For a second, he had thought Cas just hadn't cared. Then Sam immediately felt guilty for being relieved, because Cas sounded so goddamn tired and there was clearly something going on with him. Cas wouldn't have left otherwise. Or called.

"I get that. I mean-- I mean, I wish you would have said goodbye, at least, but I get it. Needing space to clear your head."

"I wish…" Cas' voice was quiet on the other end. "I wish that I could have been there for you after what happened with Rowena. But I-I couldn't. And I don't regret leaving, Sam. I don't."

"I don't understand." Sam's eyes were stinging.

"You never even asked me if I was okay," Cas whispered. "I know Mary was your mother, but she was my friend, she was my friend and I lost her, then my father, and--and Jack. And then when that demon--"

There was a static warbling sound like the rush of air when you moved a phone away from your face too quickly.

"You just expected me to be okay with it," Cas continued when the warbling had finished. "To be able to look that-- that thing in the face every day like it didn't tear me apart every time, like you didn't care. Both of you. Neither of you said a goddamn word."

"That's not true," Sam said, horrified. They did care, there was just-- so much going on--

Cas laughed. It was harsh and bitter, but mostly, it was just empty. Sam had never heard Cas like that before, and it made the blood burn cold in the hunter’s veins.

"I suppose you're right. Dean said something, at least. He told me it was my fault."

"What?" Sam asked, horrified. "When?"

"It doesn't matter. This--this isn't why I called you. I didn't mean to say any of that," Cas said. "Not after… not after Rowena."

"What, do you…" Sam swallowed hard. "Do you think I blame you for her death?" How the hell could he blame Cas for that when it was his hands that pushed a knife into her gut? "I don't, Cas."

There was that warbling sound again, and this time, Sam thought he heard Cas let out a sigh or a shaky breath in the background.

"I meant that you deserve time to grieve," Cas said, though Sam noted that he didn't answer Sam's question."Time to heal without me laying that burden on you."

Sam said nothing. He didn't know what to say to that. He had always known that Cas must have left for a good reason, but that hadn't stopped the voice in Sam’s head from whispering that it was his fault Cas had left, that Cas just didn't care about someone as pathetic as him.

But this? This was worse. Because Cas did care, but Sam-- him and Dean-- they had made Cas feel like he had to leave anyway. They had made their best friend feel like he couldn't be around them anymore. And despite that, Cas was still trying to protect him, in his own way.

"You said--" Sam had to clear his throat to speak around the lump painfully lodging itself there. "You said that this wasn't why you called?"

"No. I wanted to let you know," Cas said. "That I'm going to Heaven."

Sam blinked, and for a terrifying second, he thought Cas meant he was going to kill himself.

"I'm not far from the Gate," the angel continued, and Sam finally realized what he meant.

"You're what?" Sam asked, alarmed. Heaven was nowhere near as powerful as it had once been, but it was still bad news. What the hell was Cas thinking?

"I told you," Cas said. "I've been thinking. And I realized that I don't know if any of the angels up there know. About--about Chuck, about what he did, the real reason why my brothers and I were even created."

"But can't you just, I don't know, leave them a message over angel radio?"

Cas was quiet for a long moment. "You would have me tell my siblings through a--a voice mail that our father never cared about them?"

"That… that wasn't what I meant."

"I need to do this in person, Sam. Chuck has ripped my family apart enough. I need-- I need to take the time to put whatever is left of my family back together again."

Sam had heard Cas refer to the angels as his siblings, as his brothers and sisters, but the hunter wasn't sure he had ever heard Cas call them family before. Not like this. "But-- but we're your family, too," Sam said, just stopping himself from adding a wobbly 'right?' at the end.

"Don't," Cas said, his voice quiet but firm. "I have spent the last decade fighting for your cause and trying to be a part of your family. I have sacrificed more for you than you could ever know. Now, after everything, I need to be with my people again. That's why I called you. Once I'm in Heaven…" Cas hesitated. "I might not come back."

Sam's breath caught in his throat. "But…"

"I thought you deserved to know," Cas said quietly. "I can turn your frequency of revelation back on if you want, for if you ever need anything, but-- but I won't keep it on if all you do is try to change my mind. So much has happened in Heaven, and when I tell them about Chuck--"

Cas sighed. "We'll need time. Time to piece ourselves back together, to make sense of everything. And I don't know how long we'll have left before Chuck makes his next attack, so I need to do this, and I won't be moved."

Sam pressed the back of his hand against his mouth as a wave of anger and despair and self-pity washed over him and a sob burned the base of his throat. "You're not worried that the angels will turn on you? Attack?"

"I would have been, once. But not anymore. Heaven has changed. There's… there's just not many of us left."

"But I--I might never see you again?"

A pause. "...I wasn't sure you would care."

"Of course I care!" Sam's voice broke. "You're my best friend!"

"Then why weren't you there for me?"

Sam flinched.

"Why did it take me leaving for you to finally reach out to me?"

"I…"

"Because there was too much happening," Cas murmured. "Because you needed to focus on the mission. Fixing Hell. Stopping Chuck. There's always another mission that's more important than me."

Sam said nothing. Cas might as well have ripped open the hunter's chest and completely hollowed him out. There were no words inside him, no way to argue. The angel was telling the truth, and Sam knew it.

"That's why I need to go back to Heaven. Why I want to go back. I've spent too long placing other things above my family there."

Sam picked at a chipped part on the edge of the nightstand, feeling the edges of the wood press into his fingertips. "You should do it," he said quietly.

A pause on the other end. "You… agree with me?"

The hunter nodded, then belatedly realized Cas wouldn't be able to see. "Yeah. I think you're doing the right thing. Just-- just be safe, please?"

"I will," Cas said. "And, Sam? Thank you."

"Of course."

Sam swallowed hard, trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to say next.

Before he could, Cas cleared his throat. "I think it's time for me to go."

"Cas? Cas, wait."

"Yes?"

"Before you go, I want you to know…" Sam took a deep breath, trying to keep his voice steady. "I want you to know that I've missed you, that I still miss you. I know that-- that you need time, and I'm okay with that, but it means the world to me that you called." Sam pulled his hand away from the nightstand to rub at his eyes again. "I love you, Cas."

Castiel went silent on the other end, but Sam could hear the angel's shaky breaths coming across the phone speaker. The silence kept going and Cas' breathing became more and more uneven, more and more like crying, and Sam wondered if his words had been too much.

"I…" Cas started, but his voice shattered.

"You don't have to say anything. I didn't say that because I was expecting something back, okay? You don't owe me anything. I just wanted you to know."

"O-Okay."

"I hope you find what you're looking for."

"I do, too," the angel murmured. "Thank you. Goodbye, Sam. Look after yourself."

"Bye," Sam whispered.

There was a shuffle and a click as Cas ended the call.

Sam reached up, rubbed the dampness away from the skin under his eyes, and told himself it was nothing more than sweat.

#castiel #sam winchester #spn #spn fic #spn fic rec #sam and cas #cas and sam #spn s15 #katswrites #spn fic recs

50 notes · View notes