#1. he has a gf 2. i don’t have a crush on him i just miss my friend ok

[sharlsworld]

⋆⭒˚.⋆ i heard - ʟɴ4 ☆

✿ lando norris x influencer!reader (everyone gasped)

✿ lando norris has a crush on a certain influencer and his friends are on a mission to help him get the girl

🝮

yn

📍los angeles, california

liked by landonorris and 3,935,027 others

yn sun kissed 🌞

landonorris first

landonorris 😍😍😍

⤷ maxfewtrell 3 heart eyes??

flowers444yn what tf is lando norris doing in my gf’s comments?

lando.norizz he’s never beating the norizz allegations

alexandrasaintmleux let me take you out on my boat girl 🤤

⤷ charles_leclerc You mean my boat?

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux go away

⤷ yn i’ll be waiting 😉

zendaya Simply stunning 🤩

♥︎ by author

jacobelordi 😍

♥︎ by author

hearts4lando how do the wags know her?

⤷ ynsource she’s been invited to a few races by ferrari and mercedes so the wags must’ve introduced themselves there

judebellingham Beautiful 😍

♥︎ by author

⤷ yn 🥰

⤷ landowantsrizz STOP POOR LANDO CANT EVEN GET A LIKE 😭

lilymhe damn girl let me wife you up 🤤

⤷ yn please do 😫

🝮

yn

📍monaco

liked by landonorris and 5,902,528 others

yn monaco will always have my heart

landonorris first

♥︎ by author

landonorris can i have it next?

♥︎ by author

alexandrasaintmleux need your hair 😍😫

♥︎ by author

gigihadid i miss you gorgeous 💓

⤷ yn i miss you more 💘

francisca.cgomes why not the picture of you double cheeked up? 🤤🤤

⤷ yn kika 😭😭 please

pierregasly can i have my shirt that i did not know was missing until now back?

⤷ francisca.cgomes no she wears it better

⤷ pierregasly wow ok then.

michaelbjordan 😍

♥︎ by author

⤷ yn everyone SHUT UP IM GLITCHING

⤷ landolovesyn poor lando 😭😭

landonorris please just give me one chance

♥︎ by author

⤷ yn 😭😭

⤷ landonorris i’ll take that as a maybe 🥰

carlossainz55 I would like to apologize for lando’s behavior

⤷ yn nothing to apologize for, it’s cute

⤷ landonorris 🤩🥺🥰🤤😫😍😎🥳😱

⤷ charles_leclerc Don’t mind him, he doesn’t interact with women much…

⤷ yn i could tell

⤷ landonorris 😕😞🖤💔😖😪😢😣😔

⤷ oscarpiastri He’s genuinely tweaking rn

🝮

landonorris

liked by danielricciardo and 944,576 others

landonorris 🩷💜🤍💙🩵❤️

yn who’s all those hearts for?

⤷ landonorrris you. only you. always you.

charles_leclerc Lando looking for y/n

oscarpiastri Lando wondering where y/n is

alex_albon lando wondering what y/n is doing

alexandrasaintmleux lando thinking how to get y/n’s attention

georgerussell63 Lando thinking of y/n

carlossainz55 Lando thinking about all the gifts he’s could buy for y/n

lilymhe lando wondering how y/n slept

francisca.cgomes lando thinking of ways to impress y/n

maxfewtrell Lando wondering if y/n thinks he’s cool

🝮

yn

📍 somewhere in monaco

liked by pierregasly and 3,084,921 others

yn party of 1

landonorris first

♥︎ by author

landonorris can i make it a party of 2? :)

♥︎ by author

⤷ yn i wouldn’t mind ;)

charles_leclerc I heard lando norris saved a family of 6 from a house fire the other day

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux yeah i heard he also saved the family’s 3 dogs too

carlossainz55 Lando norris bought me a new custom ferrari yesterday

maxverstappen1 Shoutout to my boy lando norris for letting me win all those races your a real one mate

alex_albon I heard lando norris tipped 700 dollars for a 10 dollar coffee last week

oscarpiastri I heard lando norris bought 1000 dollars worth of food for a homeless shelter in Miami last year

⤷ georgerussell63 I heard he also donated a bunch of clothes to

lilymhe i heard lando norris payed for everyone’s meals at a restaurant last month

⤷ carmenmmundt Yeah I heard he does that all the time

⤷ francisca.cgomes i heard he gave 1 million to a small business today

danielricciardo Lando norris actually bought me my house

lewishamilton Lando norris bought my dog a thousand dollar blinged out collar

donatella_versace Donatella VERSACE💜

🝮

yn posted a story

replies

landonorris replied to your story

first 😁

yn as always honey

carlossainz55 replied to your story

does that party of 2 include a certain brit?

yn i don’t know who your referring to 🤔

lilymhe replied to your story

that bitch stole my girl

yn like you weren’t helping him 😭

carmenmmundt replied to your story

My little girl is growing up on me 😓

yn omg shut up 😭

francisca.cgomes replied to your story

that muppet better treat my girl right

yn don’t worry kika he will

alexandrasaintmleux replied to your story

ask him to buy you red bottoms i bet he will without thinking about it

yn stop he probably would 😭😭

🝮

landonorris posted a story

replies

yn replied to your story

you’re so cute

landonorris your the cutest 😉

you’re*

landonorris i’m sorry. you’re the cutest*

charles_leclerc replied to your story

Your welcome, I started that whole thing

landonorris thank you mate it’s very much appreciated

pierregasly replied to your story

Don’t trip mate

landonorris to late. i knocked on the door to her apartment and she invited me inside cause she was looking for her earrings and i tripped walking inside. and i did not catch myself in time.

your supposed to have fast reflexes mate 😭

landonorris yeah all that went out the window when i seen her

alexandrasaintmleux replied to your story

you better not let her touch any door handle, pull out her chair, hold her hand, give her your coat, and don’t let her peak at the bill

landonorris i wouldn’t dream of it

🝮

yn

liked by krisjenner and 11,935,776 others

yn i heard he ended world hunger or something?

landonorris first

♥︎ by author

landonorris sum slight yk

♥︎ by author

landonorris your so yummy baby 😍

♥︎ by author

charles_leclerc Once again, your welcome

⤷ yn no thank you

lilymhe damn does he not know how to keep his hands to himself?

⤷ landonorris you wouldn’t be able to if she was yours

francisca.cgomes i could treat you better

⤷ yn come over 😏

⤷ francisca.cgomes omw baby

⤷ landonorris oh!

⤷ pierregasly you get used to it

⤷ alex_albon over time you’ll just start to ignore it

⤷ charles_leclerc At a certain point you’ll have a good chuckle about it

⤷ georgerussell63 You learn to live with it

🝮

landonorris

liked by tomholland2013 and 6,213,095 others

landonorris i like when it’s you & i

yn first

♥︎ by author

yn 🤍🤍🤍

♥︎ by author

yn i like it too honey

♥︎ by author

carlossainz55 You did it cabrón 🥳

⤷ landonorris i manifested this shit

lilymhe cutest 😍 y/n not lando.

⤷ landonorris hatin for what 🤣🤣

danielricciardo Lando norris did it

⤷ charles_leclerc He got the girl

⤷ arthur_leclerc crazy son of a bitch

alex_albon bro beat the norizz allegations

⤷ georgerussell63 I guess it’s time to retire lando norizz 😞

alexandrasaintmleux she was mine first.

⤷ landonorris and now she’s all mine 🤤

maxverstappen1 This calls for celebration!

⤷ pierregasly to the club!

oscarpiastri I already can’t stand you two

francisca.cgomes she curved michael b jordan and jude bellingham for a white guy…

⤷ landonorris stay mad 🥱

mclaren Welcome to family y/n! 🧡

♥︎ by author & yn

#lando norris #f1 smau #lando norris smau #lando norris x reader #lando norris fluff #lando norris imagine #lando norris smut #formula 1 #f1 imagine

[sugawarassoulmate]

okok im back with incel!kenma

whats even worse is if you really can’t tell if you’re a guy or a girl, the type of person that gives gender envy. if you have longer hair he just assumes your like him and can’t be bothered to cut it.

OKAY THIS THOUGHT JUST HIT ME MID TYPING! YOU’RE THE BITCH NERD!/LOSER!KURO CANT STOP TALKING ABOUT. THERES TWO MAYBE THREE WAYS HE CAN FIND OUT ITS YOU.

also ik this isn’t one of your hcs for kuro but nerd/loser!kuro x mean!goth!gf but maybe you’re not mean to him but everyone else, people even look at him the wrong way and you have them absolutely terrified. and during your face chats with him you never have your makeup or you daily clothes on. normally just bare faced and in something of kuros. surpising how he didn’t pick up kuros old nekoma jersey

number one: maybe kuro posts a picture of you on his story possibly at your pc playing with incel!kenma. or it could be one of the spicy mirror pictures you made him post because why the hell is the dumb bitch from class feeling up on your man for. maybe you even rant to kenma about this dumb bitch who can’t keep her hands to herself, and why the fuck is she touching a taken man. (okay i think incel!kenma is misogynistic but not homophobic because why the fuck would anyone want to deal with some needy whore constantly.) but that rant solidifies the thought that you are infact a guy maybe not one who hates women on the same level as he does but a man nonetheless. but once kuro posted that picture he figured it out and was disgusted.

number 2: kuro is at your house studying, so to keep your boredom at bay you hop online with kenma, it’s about two hours in when he hears a knock shuffling in the back ground followed by the sound of someone falling onto your bed when he asked about it your response is casual “oh its just my boyfriend.” and he doesn’t pick at it anymore. but then the mic catches a familiar voice in the background. “pretty girl when are you gonna be done, i want to take a nap with you” you give a hum in response to his question. “alright bro gotta leave after this round, so we have to win don’t wanna lose the last match of the day.” obviously you land up losing because kenma can’t get his pretty little head around the fact that he couldn’t tell you were some fucking bitch, you never told him either so that makes you a fucking liar (even tho he didn’t ask). when the game disconnects he’s seething.

number three: this is the worst option really kuro begs him to come hang out with him at his girlfriend, he swears up and down that she’s not the type of woman he’d hate. promises that they have a lot of the same interests. maybe he sends a picture of you cosplaying as one of his favorite characters but that just lowers his opinion, in the photo he can’t even tell its you though. so he’s even more confused when he meets you guys at the arcade. he cautiously calls you by your in game name and you respond with a smile and respond with your irl name. he’s genuinely not sure how to react. not just bc you’re the person he’s been gaming with for almost a year, but with your thick ass platforms you’re just as talk as kuro if not taller. you literally look down at him, can he even talk shit about a bitch like you with out getting his as beat.

anyway this drug out for way longer than intended. but yeah incel!kenma making assumptions and being totally wrong. how funny would it be if he had a crush on kuros gf

bestie.....my beloved......all of the options just sound so amazing to me omg *kisses u*

the absolute torture incel!kenma has to go through upon finding out that 1) his favorite gaming buddy is a disgusting female, 2) she's dating his best friend and somehow he never knew, and 3) she's so fucking hot that kenma can't stop picturing her face every time he rubs one out.

and you just won't let him live you're so fucking mean to him that kenma can't even get a word in when you're roasting him. the only thing that reels you in is kuroo's soft, pleading voice asking you to be nice.

kenma's embarrassed that his friend has become such a simp but fuck if he didn't wish he was on the receiving end of your sweet words.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #kenma x reader #kenma kozume x reader #kozume kenma x reader #🥀 #🥀kenma #incel!kenma

[ubehalayas-blog]

Kyle w fake s/o that has a crush on him (?) 

The only reason Kyle did this was to get his parents off of his back

They were worried and thinks that Kyle might be gay because for the whole high school Kyle never brought at least one girl back to their house (not that they actually cared though)

Although Kyle was not having it, he wasn’t gay (mhm sure) and thought of just asking for ur favor to fake date him until the summer ends so that his parents would get off his back.

It goes a bit like this:

“Hey– Y/n I have a favor to ask you” “can we.. like– be girlfriend and boyfriend but fake? Like you get what I mean, you read books–” “but if you don’t I mean like we fake date like we do couple things but just for public well for my parents because they’ve been on my back ever since the fucking summer started, they’ve been hinting to me that it’s okay if I came out to them as gay” he rambled on and on, explaining the pickle he was on

“Alright– I get it, Kyle”

“Oh yeah, right sorry” 

You two set like typical house rules for it, 1. No one can know, even best friends. 2. No touching allowed unless it’s consented. (of course my man Ky is a gentleman) 3. No falling in love with each other. 

“Does the last one even matter?” 

“I think–” you lied, (it didn’t matter but somehow most books you read had that rule but ended up falling for one another and you like Kyle so– it must be a spell that should be added right?)

You ended up putting a fake relationship in front of everybody, including your friends and parents.  

Stendy probably invited you to a double date or two, Stan suspects that two of you were pretending to be bf and gf but Kyle debunked his suspicions when he kissed you in front of Stan, you were shocked but kissed back. Let’s just say that the car ride back to your house was awkward, something like:

“We’re here”

“A-ah.. thanks, I.. I enjoyed today” you mumbled, taking off your seatbelt.

He just nodded, never letting his eyes away from the wheels because he was too nervous and embarrassed with what he did. 

He probably took you out on a date or two, on those dates he was given some money from his parents that he used to pay for his and your meals. (let’s js say you don’t have to spend any money when ur with him)

Honestly, Gerald and Sheila was your fan, they loved, adored you so much, they were so thankful that you’re Kyle’s girlfriend. They probably laughed around with you as they told stories about how they were thinking was gay and all, Kyle would probably redden from their embarrassing stories and would shout, “MOM! DAD!” when he thinks they’ve told too much lmao.

At school, he waits for you to finish your classes because he drives you to school and back.

Kyle invites you to study dates in his house but mostly because Sheila always wants to see you, (little did you know Kyle liked seeing you too) sometimes that study date ends with you staying in their house– you insist not to but Sheila and Gerald always find a way for you to stay.

You staying at Kyle’s house always ends up with you sleeping on the bed and Kyle on the floor, Kyle probably thinks that it’s too embarrassing to let you sleep on the floor so he volunteers. But when you said that it’s okay for him to sleep next to you he blushes and rambles on about not wanting to make you uncomfortable and stuff, it took you a while of convincing when he finally slept next to you.

The next day was a pain honestly lmao, his arm was wrapped around you, he basically fell off the bed when he realized he hugged you in his sleep. Maybe a bit like:

Kyle grumbled in his sleep, the sun hit his eyes as he slowly opened his eyes. His gaze landed onto your sleeping body and his arm that was wrapped around your waist, his eyes widened as he gasped, backing away from you as he fell down to the floor. The loud crash made you wake up, you rubbed your eyes as you looked over Kyle who was breathless and rattled, "What's wrong..?" you mumbled, "N-nothing.. I just fell off" He stuttered.

lol Idk, I find it funny when things like that happen.

I can't think of anything anymore honestly, my brain is fried and this is just a worthless attempt to do head canons because I seems to can't write some.

#south park #south park x reader #south park x y/n #south park x you #kyle broflovski #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle x reader #sp kyle x reader #sp kyle #i dont like this #headcanons #kyle hcs #i need therapy #i need kyle plushie #i dont trust myself

[bbkissme99]

Others

Toge x reader

WHEN THEIR S/O TAKES THE HIT FOR THEM yuji and inumaki

Holding hands with Toge

P - PDA - TOGE

sharing is caring— toge shares his food with you :)

you and inumaki make out by the vending machines

Clingy toge inumaki

·°˖ You guys aren’t dating??✧˖°

inumaki helping you after a long day of training

when his s/o picks up on using onigiri ingredients after a while

inumaki having a crush on you headcanons

dating inumaki headcanons

♡Headcanons♡

A SILENT WISH

♡ CUTE MORNING LETTERS - TOGE INUMAKI

INUMAKI TOGE || BESTFRIENDS TO LOVERS

“why is it so fucking cold in here?”

inumaki never cared for girls in such way like crushes.

TOGE INUMAKI X GETO! FEM! READER (FT. BIG BRO! GOJO SATORU)

A Hoarse Whisper "Kiss Me"

Yuta’s not convinced that Toge and (y/n’s) relationship is platonic, but the others don’t seem to see it

streamer!inumaki headcanons

inumaki toge x fem!reader (royalty au)

Choso x reader

Boyfriend! Choso

choso w/ a very affectionate partner

imagine waking up next to choso.

⋆WE’RE NOT STOPPING CHOSO: you guys finally get to the finale of things.

when you don't want to show choso your boobs

𝕿𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖔𝖔 𝕬𝖗𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖙!𝕮𝖍𝖔𝖘𝖔

‘you can hold my hand, if you want’ with tattoo artist!choso x reader?

❛ i just wanted to make sure you’re okay. ❜ n tattoo artist!choso

Compatible

Cuddle fucking + Movie night

Honey (Vampire!Choso x F!Reader) 

headcanons

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 - you, choso, and his little brother yuji decorate the christmas tree!

Choso, Noritoshi and Kashimo with a big breasted reader

Noritoshi Kamo x reader

Crush

Mai tells noritoshi that y/n is getting read for a date with fushiguro

noritoshi kamo knows just what to do with you, and it seems there’s a lot more that he’s aware of than he lets on...

KAMO! NORITOSHI! AS! A! FATHER! AU!

Kusakabe Atsuya x reader

smut

reacting to the other one crying about something

All about you

some hcs

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮

Seductive lollipop

Ino x reader

AS YOUR BOYFRIEND

how he would react to receiving a somewhat unusual photo of his girlfriend during work hours

finding the other wearing their clothes

takuma ino bf hcs

nanami basically has a daughter

After the assault of a curse's special attack, Takuma has a problem. But he's lucky that his teammate is more than willing to lend him a helping hand. 1 2

A Moment in Time

facetime

FLUFFY SLEEP HCS

Takuma Ino NSFW HCs

Takuma Ino Headcanons

ino finds himself struggling with the loss of his mentor and you comfort him

Dad

Todo x reader

y/n is so worried about meeting todous physical preferences

boxer!todo

todo aoi rolling over in the middle of his sleep

tōdō as a romantic partner headcanons

being very horny for his cute gf who does nothing but sits cutely waiting for him cuddle with her

Yuta x reader

you know you got me in your pocket - okkotsu yuuta f2l

kiss me more

[d3vilfy]

Okay, idea, an nsfw idea. A Steddie x reader idea. Please, here me out,

Reader gets motion sickness on a road trip (She sits inbetween Steve and Eddie, and is technically only dating Eddie) and to keep her mind off of it, Eddie starts fingering her, and Steve isn't paying attention so he doesn't notice, but Eddie has a crush on Steve and knows reader does too, and that Steve likes reader, so he gets Steve's attention and Steve is shocked (He's so confused, like 'Why is Eddie Munson giving me permission to finger his girlfriend? Wtf?' But does help) and reader is having such difficulties keeping quiet and-

Sorry, I've been thinking about this for like a week. If you're comfortable with this, pleaseeee write it!!

-:)

need a distraction ✧

this is too hot help... 18+ minors do not interact.

pairings: bf!eddie x gf!reader x steve

warnings: 18+ smut, fingering, 1 girl 2 guys, sub!reader, slight voyuerism, maybe dubcon if u squint.

word count:

a/n: first fanfiction i ever wrote so if it’s bad i’m really sorry

you really loved eddie. he was your boyfriend, and there was nobody who could make you feel better than he did. still, your attraction to steve was undeniable. something about the fast car, your nose in a book, and your legs being squished together by the two hottest guys in hawkins made something stur in your stomach. motion sickness. feeling the contents of whatever it was you ate shift up to your squirmy mouth, you shut the hardcover with rapid speed, the loud music concealing the noise. eddie was still zoned out, looking at the clouds through the glass window.

you scratch his head through his curls to get his attention, still feeling like your stomach is gonna launch its contents all over your new skirt.

"eddie, i don't feel good" you slur, cheeks tingling. "think 'm carsick"

he turns quickly at the sound of your voice. "come here, sweetheart." he whispers into your hair, pulling you in. "need a distraction?"

“immediately” you mutter, lips brushing against his band tee as he shifts to open the window. 

“alright baby, think i have an idea” he grunts, cold ringed hand gliding up your black skirt. his dexterous fingers tease your pussy through the red lace panties, letting a gasp slip from your soft lips.

“eddie” you warn breathily, whimpering under his cold touch. but your stomach is still spinning like a tornado, and you still have that awful feeling in your cheeks, making you cough. eddie notices. knowing its not enough for you, he suddenly gets the best idea he could ever muster up.

“steve, wake up” he says softly, poking the sleeping brunette. steve lets out some incoherent words before opening his eyes to see your skirt lifted up and eddie’s fingers teasing at the hem of your wet panties.

“what the hell, dude” steve questioned loudly. your cheeks grew pink, realizing how vulnerable you were in the moment. with nothing to focus on besides your anxiety and embarrassment, you find yourself feeling even more carsick than before.

“finger her, we both know you want to” eddie demands. and what guy would say no to that? steve looks down into your eyes before reaching his hand down to meet eddie’s.

“so wet, sweetheart” he started to rub over your lingerie, unaware of how much it affected you through the thin fabric. eddie’s ringed fingers still thrusted in and out of you teasingly, whimpers escaping from your mouth.

soon, steve had pulled your panties completely down and is now steadily moving his lanky fingers in and out of you. 3 fingers stuffed inside your ever so small hole, and 2 hands massaging around your most sensitive parts did more than just distract you from your motion sickness.

“d-don’t stop, don’t stop please” you say through wretched breaths, moans, and whimpers as steve slips another finger in.

“im not stopping until you cum, baby” eddie grunts. steve hardens in his pants just by that thought, mixed with the heavenly sight in front of him that caused his poor pink tip to swell. you bucked your hips further into their fingers, only wanting more. “so good for me and steve, right, sweetheart?”

“yes, so good for you.” you whine, starting to fuck yourself with their fingers. you moaned “keep going, please ‘m gonna cum.” eddie just can’t help himself, seeing you like this makes him crazy. he finger fucks you even faster, rings drowning inside your cunt.

“oh- i, so close” you say, letting out a moan that was a little too loud. steve’s free hand flies up to cover your mouth.

“shh- quiet, okay. we’ll put that mouth to use later, not right now” he talks into your ear, dumbifying you. seeing steve treat you like this, arouse you like this, aroused eddie. both boys wouldn’t be able to hide the bulge in their pants if they tried.

so many different sensations stirred up into a big knot at your core, begging for release. you moaned and whimpered as your boyfriend’s fingered continued to move in and out of you. shaky breaths left your mouth as you felt your high approaching.

“y-yes don’t st-” your own ragged moans overpowered your weak voice. liquids spilt from your sweet folds as you began to calm yourself down.

“good girl, you feel better now?” eddie asks cockily.

you cant seem to get any words out. just ragged breathing and whimpering as your boyfriend leans down to kiss you.

“s-s close, guys. just a few more minutes.” robin moans mockingly from the drivers seat

#stranger things #eddie munson smut #steve harrington #steve x reader #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington smut #steddie x reader #perv!eddie #perv!steve harrington #stranger things smut

[mochalate]

[3] precipice ; porco galliard (2/2)

pairing: porco galliard/f!reader  chapter word count: 24.6 k  chapter content/warnings: secret meetings in the dark, crushing on your bf/gf, porco's scandalous sexual history, some angsting about marcel, girls' night out  chapter summary: The most precious secrets are the ones that are the hardest to keep. a/n: this is overdue, isn't it? 🤭🤭posting as two parts because I learned tumblr has a post length limit!! As always, please let me know what you think, I love hearing from my fellow galliard girlies. <3 Read on AO3? || See Series Masterlist? [<-Chapter 3 (1/2)][Chapter 4->]

The old woman gives Porco his change. The coins are cold against his palm, from sitting near her ice chest. He doesn’t like how they jingle in his pockets with every step; and he plans to give them to the children, once he gets back to them.

“Just the one, dearie?” she asks, in her quakey voice.

Porco nods.

Her husband hands him the ice cream cone wrapped in tissue. He says something too, but the man doesn’t have enough teeth left for Porco to make out the words.

“Thank you,” he replies, hoping it’s appropriate. “It’s good to see you two as well.”

It’s a pleasantly warm afternoon, but they’re both bundled up in matching brown coats. Pigeons flock at their feet, pecking at the breadcrumbs they’ve scattered around. They’re sitting on one of the wooden benches under the elms that line the path through the park. Mottled light filters through the drying, thinning leaves in large patches— Liberio is entering autumn. It's fairly crowded, with people wanting to enjoy the cooler weather.

(It’s a nice day, for once.)

The old woman— Porco doesn’t know her name, but she’s been here for as long as he can remember— gives him a wry smile. “He asked if you wanted spoons, to share with your lady friend.”

Porco swallows. “It’s not like that. We’re— we’re colleagues.” He can feel the chill emanating from the ice cream against the sudden, anxious warmth on his skin.

“That’s what I told him!” She smacks the man across his upper arm. “No armband on her! She’s one of us, you old lout. Don’t you go getting this poor boy in trouble.”

Her husband chuckles.

Porco thanks them again, and begins walking back; but the exchange has his nerves on edge. Was he being careless? Was this too dangerous? This was a mistake. It was selfish of him to ask you to come here, out in the daylight.

The carpet of red and yellow leaves crunches under his boots. He sees you alone on the bench. Your uniform is stark white against the muted, earthy colours around you. Just a nurse; spending her lunch break out in the only green patch for miles around.

You’re watching the children play. They’ve somehow roped Colt into their game while Porco was gone, and he’s chasing them across the grass.

“Po— Galliard,” you greet him pleasantly as he comes up.

Right. You’re a nurse from the hospital nearby, and he’s Galliard. It couldn’t be any other way, not out here; no matter how much he felt otherwise when he looked at you. He’s stupid to have forgotten that. He’s stupid to have forced you into it.

Porco hands you the cone, and pulls his hand back even though he wants to let his fingers linger against yours for a little longer.

“For me?” you ask, pleased. “I was wondering what was taking you so long. Thank you!”

The delight on your face makes him guilty, somehow. “You didn’t get any for yourself earlier.”

You lick the ice cream. “I didn’t know if I was supposed to. All their customers were…”

“Eldian,” he completes. He swallows back a sigh, and goes to lean against the tree behind the bench. Stupid.

You turn to look at him with a sad smile. “You can’t sit with me, can you?”

“It’s not a good idea,” he says softly. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for? It’s not your fault.” You tell him, turning back.

This is a public park, and it’s one of the handful of areas outside the internment zone that’s open to Liberio’s Eldian population— upon obtaining permission from the relevant authorities, of course. And still, the two peoples separate like oil and water. The path that runs through the middle of the park is a boundary. You’re allowed to be here, but on this side— the Eldian side— you’re an oddity.

(Of course, no one on this side dares say anything about it. But they do stay away; and none of the other children join in with the candidates’ game.)

“You and Colt seemed friendly with that old couple,” you comment, still looking ahead. “Who are they? They weren’t wearing armbands.”

The old Marleyan couple has been here since before he was born, and he's sure they'll be here long after he's gone. “Their son was in the military,” he explains. “An Eldian saved his ass thirty years ago, and carried him back behind the lines after he lost his legs to a landmine.”

“That's terrible.”

“Well, he survived. And now he runs an ice cream shop, so mom and dad express their gratitude by bringing some over every weekend for the Eldian kids.”

You sound impressed. “They've been doing it for thirty years?”

“Give or take. We don’t buy anything from the regular shops because…” He trails off. Because, there’s a good chance they would add rat poison to the sprinkles— but he doesn’t want to tell you that.

He doesn’t have to continue though, since Colt chooses this moment to trip and fall teeth first into the grass.

(Again, Porco thinks in disbelief. Good luck for everyone but himself.)

Colt picks himself up but stays on his hands and knees, breathing heavily. You gasp out a soft ‘oh no’. The children worriedly look at each other, suddenly silent, and cautiously approach him.

You're trying to hurriedly hand Porco your cone to go check on him when Colt explodes upwards, and tackles Falco to the ground with a triumphant cry. The other three shriek and scatter.

Porco watches you laugh, sitting back down with your arm resting across the back of the bench. He watches the ice cream melt, beginning to run down your fingers. Something squeezes his heart. He really does want to hold your hand.

“Hey,” he says. “My throat’s been kind of sore.”

You scrunch your eyebrows as you look up at him. The dappled sunlight shines across your face. “Warm water will—”

“I think I'm going to go get it checked at the hospital before I head home.”

Your frown deepens in confusion before understanding dawns. “Oh! Oh, you could do that. Yes.”

“I'm going to tell Colt I'm leaving. You're uh, you're probably heading to your shift after you finish eating, right?”

You nod, incredibly seriously.

And so Porco finds himself, about twenty minutes later, at the reception counter in Liberio General’s marbled foyer. The nurse on duty is a small woman, with her black hair in a wavy— almost curly— bob. She’s standing; but she’s short enough that her shoulders barely clear the tall counter. The way she’s staring at him is unnerving.

It’s because she’s staring at him, Porco realises. Not at the armband.

“Uhm…” he says, because the silence has stretched on for a fair bit now. “Like I said, I wanted to see our regular nurse but she wasn’t at—”

She blinks at him. Her eyes are large and round. “You look fine. Really fine. Wow.”

Porco blinks back. “... thank you? But I—”

“Were you really going to die, or would you have been fine anyway if they just let you steam in the corner for a bit?”

Porco thinks he should probably be offended by this, but there isn’t even a hint of malice in her words— which is impressive, because those were hard words to say without malice. And honestly, with that uniform, she reminds him of you; just a little. So he decides to engage with her.

“…Are you talking about back in the Mid-East? Were you there?”

“I wasn’t with you, but I was there.” She leans closer. “So, were you? Going to die.”

“I was bleeding pretty bad. Probably would have.”

“Wow. I wish I could heal like you.” She pulls back her sleeve, and shows him a long, thin burn on her forearm. “Got this from a pot. It’s so ugly.”

“It’s not that bad,” Porco assures her. It really isn’t. “Can I see my usual nurse? Her name is—”

“I know who your nurse is. She’s not here yet, though. What seems to be the problem?”

He doesn’t think he can get away with a sore throat. “My, uh, eye hurts. And sometimes I see spots. Big ones.”

She frowns. “And it won't heal itself? It sounds like you need a doctor, not a nurse. I can make you an appointment—”

“No! She… she needs to get me a referral. I’m uh, military property, after all. Can’t go around making my own appointments.”

“Oh, is that how it works? That’s inconvenient.” She sounds genuinely sympathetic.

Porco almost feels bad for the blatant lie. “It is.”

“Hmm. But she’s not here yet.” The nurse thoughtfully taps her chin. “If it hurts real bad, I can get a surgeon to smash your skull in and then we can wait for the whole thing to reset. That should fix it.” She looks pleased with this idea. “I don’t think we need a surgeon for it at all! You wouldn’t even have to wait.”

Porco’s mouth falls open. “Helos, lady. You know I can still feel the pain, right?”

“You can?” She looks shocked. “Oh my. That’s inconvenient.”

“…It is.”

Porco’s almost ready to go and take his chances back at the park; when you pop into his vision, a little breathless.

“Hi, Hannah.” you say to the nurse at the counter.

She chirps back a greeting. “You’re breathing hard. Did you run here or something?”

“Thought I’d be late.” Then you turn to Porco, biting your lip. He thinks he can hear a barely-suppressed giggle in your voice. “What are you doing here, Galliard?”

The nurse at the counter— Hannah, she seems to be your friend, so he tells himself to remember her name— tells you about his eye.

“Ah, it is an immune privileged site,” you tell her. “It makes sense.”

“Oh, it does! Why didn’t I think of that?” Hannah gasps. “Will we really have to smash in his skull to fix it after all?”

You look stunned, and more than a little concerned. “Why are we— ? Hannah, did you tell him we’d do that?”

“It was just a suggestion,” she says sheepishly. “Look, lunch is almost over, but why don’t you go have a look at him in exam room three? That’s Dr. Klein’s today, and he’s always late. There’s time.”

“Dr. Klein…” you mutter. “Thanks, Hannah. I’ll do that before clocking in then, okay?”

You barely wait for her to answer, before giving his sleeve a tug— his heart skips a beat— and leading him out of the foyer. The examination room is only a short distance down the corridor. You hold the door open for him to follow you inside.

This room is far more spacious than number sixteen. It’s about half the size of the clinic. The walls are made of panelled wood, and the shelving doesn't seem to overflow. Sunlight shines through the tall windows.

(Porco doesn’t know when he started finding the smell of antiseptic and the sight of sterilised steel to be this comforting.)

He leans comfortably against the examination table. He's never been here before, yet it feels strangely familiar, as he watches you moving around. You’re drawing the curtains. The room dims, but the curtains are light; and the day outside is sunny, so it’s still fairly well-lit.

“Can you sit on the table, please?” you ask him, as you rummage through the drawers. “In case anyone comes in without knocking.”

He obliges.

You pull out a small penlight from one of the drawers. “So, something is wrong with your eyes, is it?” It flashes on and off, as you make sure it works.

Porco can see you relax too. The practised, formal expression melts off your face. You come to stand between his legs; and when you look at him again, your eyes are full of affection.

(He puts his hands around your waist, just like last time. But this time, he doesn’t need to let you go.)

Fuck, he thinks. Beautiful. He isn’t capable of making longer sentences at the moment.

And he can’t hold himself back anymore. He grabs your face between his palms, and kisses you. You make a muffled noise, but you don’t resist.

“Would it be cheesy to say,” he says after, with his hands still on your cheeks, and his forehead resting against yours, “that something’s wrong with them, because I can’t stop looking at you?”

“Incredibly cheesy. But I don’t mind.”

Porco hums, and tugs your hands into his lap. His back is to the door. Like this, no one coming in can see how your fingers are intertwined with his. Finally.

It feels quiet.

He realises his mind has been noisy all day; anxiously trying to keep this secret. Trying to live in two worlds at once— one where he's supposed to be, and one here with you.

Maybe he should be saying something, and making the most of this brief time he has alone with you. But somehow, he’s content just like this; holding your hand, feeling its warmth without words.

“Porco,” you say, looking down and gently squeezing his fingers, “thank you for coming to see me again.”

“I promised, didn’t I?” He squeezes back. “Hey, look at me. I’ll always come back to you, alright? Don’t ever doubt that.”

You open your mouth to say something else; but there’s a knock on the door. You jolt backwards and wrench one of your hands out of his, to grab the penlight. It clicks on just as the door swings open.

It’s Hannah from earlier, here to tell you Dr. Klein would arrive in five minutes.

You look calm, and your voice is level when you tell her you’re almost done. But Porco can feel your hand trembling in his.

It's noisy again. And too bright.

It wasn’t always like this.

No, that’s not entirely true. It used to be like this. Then it wasn’t for a little while. And now it is again.

For a little while, you weren’t scared of doing things. You thought you finally knew what those right answers were, and figured that the ones that didn’t really make sense to you didn’t make sense to anyone— especially not the people here in the hospital. You thought you didn’t have to make those choices you didn’t agree with.

That’s why you told Dr. Klein he had to try and save Julie.

That’s how you learned you were wrong.

And now here you are again, terrified of taking a step outside the lines.

It’s certainly easier this way.

(It is, it is.)

Did you get it right the first time? Or were you just making old mistakes?

(You admire Porco; and how casually he’d asked you to join him at the park, and then at the hospital. You feel terrible that you haven’t been able to bring yourself to do the same for him.)

“Sorry, I'd invite you, but…”

When Eileen gives you that apologetic look, uncomfortably fiddling with the end of one of her long, red braids; the easiest thing to do is to say you understand, that it’s alright. And then you watch her scurry away down the corridor to join the other nurses about to take their break out on the grounds.

Eileen had graduated with you.

She was from a small town too, but not as good as yours, so maybe that was why she knew the answers so very well. You’re sure she must have sworn up and down to the disciplinary board that you’d made a mistake.

You can’t find it in yourself to blame her.

One of the nurses glances back over her shoulder as she’s leaving, and accidentally catches your eye. You desperately try to stop yourself, but you can’t help the flash of hope. Maybe they changed their minds, maybe Eileen convinced them that—

Then she whips her face forward, and leans towards Eileen to whisper something. They erupt into giggles.

It's pathetic, you think as they disappear around the corner, that it still upsets you this much.

You’d thought it would be different, after being away for months in the Mid-East; hoped that was enough time for them to forget. But nothing has changed. You’re still the one who made a mistake— the one who wouldn’t even admit to it.

The one who it was better not to talk to, just in case.

You’re standing in the corridor outside one of the general wards. It’s a quiet night. In the ward, there’s just an assortment of allergies, and a few broken bones. Only a handful of the rickety cots with their starched white sheets and thin pillows are occupied.

It’s not nearly busy enough to keep you distracted from how terribly your shift is going; and there’s still hours left before you can go home. You sigh, and lean your back against the wall.

The hospital has had lightbulbs installed recently. They burn yellow under their flower-shaped lamp shades, all along the corridor. You tilt your head to peek underneath; fascinated by the loops of glowing filament.

Would it have made a difference, you wonder, if it had been this bright back then?

The memory makes your stomach churn. You turn your gaze down towards the dull red carpet, trying to blink away the ghostly afterimage of the bulb’s guts.

The night of the accident had been a new moon, dark and cloudless. There hadn’t been any bulbs then. Just a thousand candles lining the corridors; the windows shut to keep them from going out. The stuffy heat of the flames and what felt like a hundred bodies packed into the narrow space, a writhing mass of white bandages and the red and brown of blood, too enveloped in strange shadows to make out where each person started and ended; only the noise of children wailing for their mothers, people calling out other’s names. So many names.

Stephen, Stephen, are you here? Please, is my son Stephen here?

Have you seen Sarah?

Maria…? No, no, NO!

And then there was Julie.

Silent.

(No, not silent. Not entirely, not yet.)

You’re so lost in reminiscing, you don’t notice the muted thumping of the wooden cane on the thin carpet, until its owner is right beside you.

“I was hoping you would be here,” a man’s voice says.

You’re jolted out of the memory. Exhaling, you look to the side.

(You remember that voice, how could you forget?)

“Director Klein. Good evening, sir.”

The old man adjusts his cane. “And a good evening to you too, my dear. Would you join me in my office?”

He doesn’t wait for your answer. It wasn’t really a question, after all. The Director rarely asks questions. You push yourself off the wall to follow him further up the corridor.

White. That’s always your first impression of him. Snow white hair and beard— both neatly clipped and combed— and a white shirt under a pristine, long, white coat. You’re sure he carries that cane purely for the effect the carved golden handle has on people; because his back is straight and his steps are strong and confident, as he makes his way up to his office. He's missing at least fifteen of his seventy years.

You remember the last time you walked behind him, down this exact path, with blood crusted under your fingernails, and stained into that skirt you would eventually go home and throw away.

My son was alive, ALIVE!

Ma’am, it was a mistake in the paperwork—

Yes, a mistake! Yours!

Director Klein’s office hasn’t changed, either— tall bookcases, stuffed with leather bound volumes; and the walls so covered with photographs and certificates you would be hard pressed to find a square inch of the flowery wallpaper underneath. He takes his seat behind the heavy cherrywood desk.

You’re left standing in the middle of a room that feels cramped enough to make you claustrophobic; and yet big enough to have you feeling small and awkward at the same time.

“How are you?” he asks. There’s sincerity in his voice.

“Fine. I… fit in better than I thought I would, there.”

“You can still come back.”

You swallow, and look away. “I still don’t want to.”

“I’m only trying to help you, child. Don't be stubborn.”

He sounds concerned. He sounded concerned that night too, when you really thought you could have made a difference by pleading your case.

Dr. Klein, you agreed with me. Why are you—

I didn't have time to check for myself! You really must have made a mistake!

“I appreciate you offering, sir. But I think it would just cause a lot of trouble if I came back here full time. I’m— it's not worth it.”

Dad, she's a new nurse. It's understandable. But our reputation is on the line. You need to clear it up with the committee so they don't think a doctor—

The Director scrutinises you for a few moments. Then he sighs. For a second, he looks much more like the old man he is. “Very well. It's not what I wanted to discuss. Please, sit.”

You sit.

He reaches down to open his desk drawer, and pulls out a red folder that he slides across towards you. It’s emblazoned with the military coat of arms.

You look curiously at him. He gestures for you to open it. You do, and find a single sheet of paper.

“A confidentiality agreement?” Your heart beats a little faster; but a quick skim reveals no details, except for a vague description of titan research. “What for?”

The Director raises an eyebrow. “It wouldn’t be much of an agreement if I could just tell you.”

You read the document again, slower this time. Project Merlot, proclaims the bold type on top of the page.

“You can’t tell me anything?”

“Not unless you sign.”

The idea is exciting. I wish I had something interesting to tell you, is what you’d said to Porco. Well, here it is. Something outside the routine of the clinic, and something other than being treated like you have a contagious disease.

What gives you pause, however, is the fact that it has something to do with titans. ‘Research on titans’, especially where the military is concerned, was just a polite way to say ‘experimenting on Eldians’.

(The memory of Falco, trying to hide his nervousness flashes through your mind. One of the most insidious rumours about Eldians is that they don’t feel pain. You know how much of a lie that is.)

“Why would you want me on this?” you ask the director, frowning. “Considering… my reputation.”

He peers at you over his glasses. “Zeke Yeager requested you specifically.”

You’re surprised. Why would an Eldian want to take the lead on a project like this? “He’s involved?”

There’s a hint of a smile on the Director’s face. “Again, I couldn’t tell you. I’ve signed one of these myself.” He takes off his glasses, and produces a soft-looking cleaning cloth from his breast pocket. “I admit this probably won’t be the most pleasant of projects,” he says, wiping the lenses, “but if I may venture to say so, it is precisely because of your reputation that I think it would be better with you on it.”

You stay silent, unsure.

“You can take a day to think it through, if you prefer.”

The thought of asking Porco what he thinks half-forms in your mind; but suddenly, you’re annoyed— annoyed that you’re so scared all the time, that you can’t seem to bring yourself to do things without some kind of permission, even when the opportunity seems to fall into your lap.

Things have to change.

“May I borrow a pen?”

The Director smiles— it’s a rare sight— and gives you the one from his breast pocket. You take a deep breath, and hover over the dotted line for just a second, before signing your name in glossy black ink.

In the back of your mind, you know this is objectively going to be a terrible job— one which will more likely than not end with you having to throw more bloodstained skirts away. That’s why you’re the one signing your name, and not the children of one of the higher ranking officials. It’s how these things usually work.

But as you close the door to the Director’s office behind you, you find yourself feeling more and more like you won’t regret it. Not if you can help make sure even one person suffers a little less. It’s what you’re good at.

“Ah— I was hoping you’d still be here.”

It feels like déjà vu, when you turn to the side. He looks so much like his father.

“Doctor,” you say. You don’t greet him any further.

Benjamin Klein awkwardly shuffles his feet. The last time you saw him, he had all the charm that came with being the son of a rich, important man— it had dazzled you too. Right now though, he looks a little small.

“How are you? Is the new appointment treating you—”

“I’m sorry, I’ve been away from my post for too long. Please excuse me.” You walk past him, back towards the general ward.

It feels awful, being even slightly rude to him. You think you may throw up right there from the nerves; all over his shiny leather shoes. But if you’re going to stop being scared, biting your tongue and being nice to this man simply doesn’t fit. No matter how powerful he is.

He doesn’t take the hint. That probably also had to do with being the son of a rich, important man.

“I feel terrible about what happened. It’s been a while now, and—” he starts saying, following along beside you.

And you think it’s okay to be seen talking to me again.

“— we never got to have that cup of coffee together. Will you let me make it up to you?”

There had been a time, when those meaningless flirtations he would offer you had actually made you happy. But now you’re at the ward doors, about to step back into that cold place; and all you can think is that he’s incredibly selfish.

“I don’t think I’m free, doctor.”

You catch only a glimpse of his disappointed face, as the doors swing closed.

For the longest time, you’d tried to force yourself to believe that no one had had any choice in that whole affair. But then Porco had shown you that there was always a choice.

Doctor Klein hadn’t been alone in the choices he’d made that night. You know you’re not the only one who saw that the little Marleyan boy was beyond help. You know that there were several eyes who couldn’t meet yours as you pleaded with his mother in the middle of the corridor, while your fingers were still sticky with Julie’s blood.

You shake your head to clear it. Being at the hospital always brought the memories back, but there’s no point remembering any of the details now.

(Even if no one will let you forget it.)

Eileen and the others are back. It doesn’t even cross your mind to try and approach any of them. The distance feels too big to cross by yourself.

You’re neither here nor there now, you realise— rejected by Marleyans, yet still distrusted by Eldians.

That was the strange thing about the military base, you think. It’s the strictest place— by far— when it came to marking out that boundary. But it’s also where it blurred the most; in a way it never could outside the battlefield. Fighting beside someone, bleeding beside them was a camaraderie that turned it into a line in the sand, right up at the edge of the waves.

You know that kind of connection, forged in blood, is dangerously addictive.

It’s still the best place for you to be.

You’re distracted by a tap on your shoulder, and someone calling your name, for the third time tonight. You turn, half-expecting the ghost of the deceased, previous Director Klein.

But it’s only Hannah.

(It’s still unexpected, since this ward is the farthest from the administrative wing, but not as much.)

“Took you long enough!” She brandishes a folder at you. “I didn’t trust those bitches to give this to you if I left it with them. Here, it’s a temporary schedule for next week…”

For someone with less than two years to live, Porco thinks as he leans into the plush meeting room chair and tips his head back to stare at the ceiling, Zeke really is taking his sweet time.

Just like the walls, there’s not much to look at up there— there aren’t even any windows in the room. Porco figures it’s more paranoia than any actual need for security, here on the third floor.

(After all, there was plenty of time to dream up imaginary assassins, when the last time you faced a real enemy was twenty years ago.)

It’s his first time being deemed important enough to be here. This is the fancy meeting room— the one where the asses usually occupying these chairs are highly paid, and have great retirement benefits. Where you walk in, and are immediately faced with a row of larger-than-life, grandiose portraits of former Generals; decorated with medals and standing in front of red velvet curtain backgrounds.

Like he said, not much to look at.

Porco gets up, and walks towards the only things worth anyone’s attention in the room— the row of copper plaques right below the paintings. He runs his hand over the engraving. Names. Dozens of names, his among them. Marley’s titan holders.

Their names, and their years of service.

(Only the years of service. The military didn’t care when you were born, or how long you’d gotten to grow up.)

He follows the lists down to the very end, running his fingers over each line, letting the syllables of each name rest in his mind for a second before moving on to the next. He’d like it if someone would do that for him, he figures.

And then he arrives at his own.

Porco Galliard: 850 —

It's like an open grave. He tries to imagine what it would look like in ten years, picturing the curves of the eight and the six and the three that would one day be carved into the plate.

For a moment, he’s surprised by how naturally the number comes to him. And then he steels himself. No, there’s nothing surprising about it. He will make sure he gets his full term. He won’t leave you behind any sooner than he has to.

Porco’s eyes flick to the name above.

Marcel Galliard. 845-846.

One year. The twelve years before; with all the meals they’d shared, the times they’d walked home together, the countless memories of birthdays, of fights, and just plain talking in the middle of the night— none of that was worthy of being recorded. No, just the one year.

(A rare courtesy from the military, really. Marcel hadn’t actually made it past the winter.)

Maybe it was for the higher ups too, Porco muses. To help them rationalise how they treated people like tools, simply discarded once they were too blunt to use.

But they aren’t just tools, they’re people; and they stubbornly persist.

The memories of a direct predecessor came like remembered dreams— the details always vague, but sometimes the emotions were remarkably clear. But going back any further was difficult. There was no telling what could trigger it. Porco had spent hours in their old room after he inherited the Jaw, rummaging through Marcel’s things— increasingly desperately— to no avail.

But that didn’t mean they weren’t there.

Pieck tells him of an inexplicable happiness, a sense of security when she smells apple pies now. In the brief time they’d had before Marcel was sent to Paradis, he’d suddenly been able to cut and shuffle a deck of cards like a seasoned magician. Porco now gets uneasy on snowy days, when he used to love them.

(He can’t help but feel he got the short end of the stick there, somehow.)

He wonders what will be left of you, in the memories he has to pass down. Will his successors love sweet vanilla, like he tasted on your lips? Will they be comforted by the sight of the elms lining the streets in the old part of the city? Maybe they would feel strangely compelled to turn their eyes to the ground, and watch the swaying shadows of the leaves on the cobblestone.

Porco misses you.

He hasn’t been able to talk to you— really talk to you— for two days now; not since you anxiously approached him on the training grounds under the guise of having to reschedule his regular checkup, and told him about the temporary schedule that would have you working the evening shifts at the hospital all week.

(Porco can only think God had decided to fuck it up for him again.)

(One time, when he’d made a similar comment, Colt had said with some surprise that he didn’t think Porco was the religious type. Porco doesn’t really think of himself as a religious type either, he just likes having something to be angry with.)

He glances at the clock on the wall. You should be locking up the clinic right about now, busily wiping down the counters and locking the cabinets.

“What are you smiling about, Pock?” Pieck asks him.

He’s shocked that he didn’t hear her coming up to him, and that he hadn’t remembered to keep his face straight while he was thinking about you. “Nothing. Just in a good mood.”

She looks at him wryly. “I won’t say you’re never in a good mood, but it’s rare, and you’ve been grumpy all day so far.” I’m not buying it, her eyes say.

Drop it, he says, rolling his own. “Seriously, it’s nothing.”

She sighs dramatically. “You’ve been so distant lately.”

It’s a lighthearted comment, but Porco immediately feels guilty. There’s never been a lot he doesn’t share with her, not since they became the two left behind. “Pieck, I—”

Pieck smiles and pats his shoulder. “It’s just a joke. I’m not going anywhere yet, don’t worry.”

(Her name is, after all, right above Marcel’s.)

He thinks this is the part where he should be a good friend, and reassure her that he’s not shutting her out. Tell her he’ll tell her later, at a better time. But he knows there will never be a time where he wouldn’t be burdening her with his secret. So he just swallows, and nods.

“I haven’t been in here in a long time,” she comments. “The plaques are a little creepy, right?”

More than a little, if he’s being honest. “It’s like they can’t wait to get rid of us.”

“Good luck to them.” Pieck runs her finger up the list; going back thirty, forty years. It stops, on one Francis Zimmer. “Him. He’s the one who liked apple pie, I think. I looked through the newspaper archives in the public library.” She looks a little sad as she continues. “He asked for it as his last meal.”

Porco bumps her with his elbow. “Don’t go getting all mopey on me until after the meeting, please.”

“I won’t, that’s your job,” she teases back. “How about we go sit down again? I think Reiner must be getting lonely.”

Porco glances back over his shoulder, to where Reiner is still sitting at the long meeting table. He’s poured himself some water, but it sits untouched in front of him; as he forlornly contemplates it.

“I think he’s about to start crying into his glass,” Porco says incredulously. “I don’t want to be there for that.”

Pieck sighs. “He’s been through a lot, Pock. Cut him some slack.”

“I cut him plenty of slack,” Porco scoffs.

He’s about to continue, but there’s voices in the corridor, and the door opens. Commander Magath walks in, followed by another army official, and then Zeke.

Once everyone has taken their seats, Zeke starts to distribute the stack of red folders he has with him.

“Everyone comfortable?” he asks, jovially. “This has been in the works for a while now, but I can finally introduce to you all, Project Merlot.”

The army official— he’s got an absurd amount of medals pinned to his chest— scowls at him. “Before Yaeger continues, I am reminding everyone that anything which is discussed in this room cannot be repeated outside of it.”

“Of course, Major,” Zeke says. The smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he rests his elbows on the table and steeples his fingers. “It would be disastrous if the public were to hear that there will be pure titans inside Liberio quite soon, after all.”

It’s remarkable, you think, how boldly the mess hall on base puts up a menu every day; when everyone knows they’ll run out of almost everything by three, and that whatever’s left will be indistinguishable by taste, sight, or smell.

“I think this one’s yours,” you tell Claire, frowning at the ambiguous brown lumps floating in the gravy in front of you. “These are potatoes, right?”

Claire pokes at them with a fork. “I don’t know. They feel kind of chicken-y to me.”

“I think they’re both potatoes.”

Claire picks up a piece with her fork, and cautiously takes a bite. She chews thoughtfully. “...at least there’s pudding today,” she says after a moment of consideration, nose scrunched.

Someone shouts near the outside entrance to the hall. You and Claire turn to look down the rows of long wooden tables. A group of soldiers has just come in, shoving open both doors, and everyone sitting nearby is yelling at them to stop letting the cold in. Outside, the autumn afternoon is grey and overcast.

The sun has only shown hints of itself since this morning; when you woke up to a day so cold, you could have sworn you’d slept through the months to winter. The brown cardigan you’re wearing over your uniform is barely enough to keep you comfortable.

The hall is warm enough though, with so many people in it; but the noise of a dozen conversations from several very loud, very boisterous young soldiers blends together into a cloud of sound where you can’t pick out any one thing. It buzzes in the background of what Claire is saying, drowning her words in its mush.

“Sorry, could you repeat that?” you ask, squinting your eyes, as if it will help your ears.

She repeats herself, a little louder. “I said, is that the lipstick I gave you? It looks nice. I told you it would suit you.”

“Oh, thank you.”

When you’d reached for your usual shade this morning, you’d remember Porco’s story about Braun. It had just been a silly thought, that you should change the colour just in case— you doubt Braun even knew you were wearing makeup at all— but you’d tried on a different one just for fun. The brownish-pink looked unexpectedly nice.

It had made the ache in your chest even worse.

You want to be able to show it to Porco. It’s been four days since you’ve been able to see him, and each passing sunset makes you miss the golden evenings in the clinic more and more.

(You miss him so much.)

“Are you sick?” Claire asks. “You look a little pale.”

“I just haven’t been sleeping well,” you admit.

Claire scowls. “Are those idiots still giving you trouble during your shifts? You have to report them, it’s harassment—”

“I’m fine,” you insist. Their behaviour honestly hasn’t been bothering you all that much recently. “It’s just a few of them, and I don’t like them anyway.”

Claire looks at you suspiciously, but then sighs and pulls out a small notebook from her pocket. “If that’s what you want to do. Do you mind if I work on some of the wedding planning? I’m running behind.”

“Go ahead,” you say. “What are you working on?”

“The guest list,” she replies. “We decided to keep it small, so I’m deciding who gets the cut.”

She looks concerningly gleeful when she says that.

“You’ll be invited, of course.” Claire says, misinterpreting your expression. “But I won’t have the invitations printed for a while. Do you need a plus one?”

There’s the smallest lump in your throat when you say you don’t.

Claire hums, focused on her list. “Cassandra’s out, that’s obvious.” You don’t know who Cassandra is, or why Claire is sneering at her name. “Michael stays,” she continues absently.

“Michael?” you ask. “The soldier from the hospital? I didn’t think you liked him.”

She rolls her eyes. “I don’t like him, but I can’t not invite him. After all that business with his family…”

Claire vaguely explains, but you never do find out what happened to Michael Sells and his family; because at that moment, another gust of cold wind washes through the hall, and you instinctively turn your attention to the door.

You see the red armbands first, and your heartbeat quickens.

Zeke Yeager walks through the door, followed by Pieck. You’re disappointed, but you keep waiting, watching the door that’s slowly swinging closed. Just when you bite the inside of your cheek, and prepare to turn your attention back to Claire, it’s pushed open again.

Porco.

You don’t know how he immediately knows to look in your direction, but he does; and you have to clasp your own wrist in your lap to stop yourself from waving at him. He doesn’t acknowledge you— he doesn’t even smile— but his gaze keeps coming back to linger on you as he makes his way across the room. He sits with the other two Warriors. The bench faces you; but it’s on the opposite side of the room— the unofficial Eldian side.

(You wonder if you had sat closer to that invisible wall, if you could have found some cracks to whisper to him through.)

“Do you think I should ask the caterers for crab cakes after all?” Claire asks.

“I like them,” you reply.

Porco’s resting his face on his palm, elbow on the table. He’s turned towards the other two, but you think you can see him stealing sideways glances at you, over his fingers. You swallow and shift your eyes away. You can’t stare. Not this openly, not here.

“I’m getting the blue dresses for the bridesmaids, I think. It’ll be great for a summer wedding.”

“Blue is lovely,” you say, a hand over your face to cover your smile.

You fake interest in Claire's notebook, and slowly raise your eyes to look over her shoulder. Porco is talking to Pieck now, attention away from you. You take the opportunity to really look at him. You feel like you could do that for hours; brushing your fingers through his longer blonde strands, running your thumbs over his face, memorising every detail.

(How cruel that you have to wait, when he’s right there in front of you, and you already know you’re condemned to spend more time apart than together.)

“Do you want to come clothes shopping with me on Thursday?”

“I’d love to.”

Porco makes eye contact with you again. You think you must be going insane; because even that little quirk of his mouth, the biggest reaction he can afford, envelopes with you a warmth that blossoms from your heart and goes to the very tips of your fingers. You’ve never felt this kind of happiness before. So pure, and so unreasonable.

(For now, it’s enough to endure the sorrow of having to pretend you don’t adore him— of having even the breadth of this room between you.)

Claire is putting away her notebook. “You haven’t touched your food! Are you sure you aren’t sick?”

You scoop up the maybe-potatoes. “I’m just a little distracted.”

Lunch passes much too quickly after that, as you finish your meal; stealing glances across the room the whole time. All too soon, you’re getting up and following Claire towards the door. It takes an immense effort to not look towards Porco’s table as you cross it.

The chilly breeze is still blowing, but the sun is peeking out from behind the clouds now. It’s one of those early autumn days that just can’t decide if it wants to be warm or cold.

“Do you mind hanging back for five minutes while I go to the bathroom?” Claire asks.

You agree to wait, and go to stand behind a pillar to protect yourself from the wind blowing through the open corridor; while she hurries down to the bathrooms. You notice a poster crudely pasted on the concrete, its edges lumpy and shrivelled from the paste. It’s a notice for a new weekly charity clinic in the internment zone, sponsored by the military hospital; asking Eldian soldiers to let their families know.

Interesting, you think. I wonder if Director Klein is behind it.

You’re perusing the poster, trying to figure out how you can volunteer, when you suddenly feel the weight of an arm wrapped around your shoulders. You tense up, about to shout in surprise— and then Porco’s voice is whispering in your ear.

“You look nice today.”

The cry catches in your throat. His warm breath— the ghost of that whisper— lingers against your ear. His body brushes against yours, familiar enough to make you blush. Something is slipped into your hand.

And then, in the same second, the weight disappears— and you see him casually continuing down the corridor.

(Did he just…?)

Your heart is pounding. You clutch your cardigan around your body, and whip your head all around to check if anyone saw.

There’s not a soul.

(He didn’t even let me see his face, you think, giddy.)

You look down at the thing he’d pressed into your hand. A small sheet of paper, messily torn and folded in half. A note.

‘I want to see you,’ it reads, in a hasty print. ‘Meet me in the usual place whenever you come back. Even if it’s late. I’ll be waiting for you.’

You hold the note against your chest, willing your heart rate to go down before Claire comes back.

It doesn’t feel as cold anymore.

The night before Marcel left for Paradis, he’d shaken Porco awake, and they’d slipped out of the house.

They’d squeezed themselves through the gap in the wired fence— there was no need to, not with the red sashes that now encircled their arms, but it had made the whole thing a lot more exciting— and made their way past the edge of the city and into the first of the rolling fields on its outskirts.

The grass had been damp, and the crickets had been loud. The stars had stretched out above them, twinkling in a sky so filled and endless that for once, Porco hadn’t felt caged.

That’s the kind of sky he sees right now, through the branches of the elm.

It’s almost midnight. The moon is high and full.

He’s worried— not because he thinks you won’t come (the thought hasn’t even crossed his mind), but because it’s late, and because it’s cold. He’s leaning against the tree, making sure to stay in the shadows; as he tries to picture the route back from the hospital.

The road is well lit, he tells himself. She’ll be safe.

He sighs, wishing he could come pick you up from your work.

(Did you wish that too? He wonders if you ever felt envious of the other nurse, who he’s seen meeting the PSA agent at the gates more than once.)

The crack of a dried leaf pierces through the night. It's the sound of something trying to be quiet. Porco flattens himself against the tree and cautiously turns his head to look around, heart rate kicking up.

It's just a cat, padding into the moonlight.

It spends a few moments sniffing around, before suddenly darting away across the grounds and into the darkness, chasing something only it can see.

Porco relaxes again, and turns his eyes back towards the stars.

On nights like this, when the wind carries the scent of damp earth from somewhere far away, it pulls him back through the years and right into that field.

Marcel had done most of the talking. It hadn’t been because Porco didn’t have anything to tell him. No, he’d had too much. So much that it all got tangled up and stuck in his throat, a big ball of questions and hopes and anxieties that he’d been too young and too embarrassed to whittle down to the one thing he really needed to say.

I’ll miss you, come home soon.

Marcel had filled the silence by pointing out constellations, and telling Porco the stories he'd read about them. It wasn't the kind of thing either of them ever talked about— there hadn't been much time for fairytales after they entered the Warrior program— but they'd made Marcel learn how to navigate by the stars to prepare for his mission; and he claimed it helped him remember everything.

“The way I see it,” he'd said, suddenly roughly pulling Porco into a headlock and mussing up his hair, “we're going to be looking at the same sky. So I won't be that far away, not really.”

“Are you kidding me right now?” Porco had scoffed, scrabbling at his brother's arm, “That's so sappy. I'm gonna throw up.”

Nearly ten years on, he remembers the waver in his brother's voice, and now figures Marcel had been saying that for his own benefit as much as for Porco’s. He thinks Marcel may just have been a boy who liked stories.

Ten years on, that field has a factory on it, belching smoke into the sky and vomiting muddied water into the grass.

(He can't ever go back, but Porco always did think those old stories were pretty depressing anyway. The wisdom of the ancestors seemed to amount to ‘if you step out of line, you will die horribly, and all of it will be your fault’.)

Porco takes a deep breath. It’s cold enough to sting.

And then, he hears your voice calling for him; so soft it’s almost a whisper.

“Porco? Are you here?”

He steps out from under the shadow of the elm, heart pounding with anticipation, and sees you under the moonlight. You’re searching for him, clinging to the strap of your bag; and turning all around, taking faltering, circling steps.

Then you see him, and stop.

Porco thinks that joyous smile on your face is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

He’s so enamoured by it, he forgets to move his feet, and you reach him first.

“I’m late,” you say, still whispering. You’re standing barely an inch away.

It’s still too far. “That’s okay, I just got here,” Porco lies. You’re worth waiting for.

He pulls you by the arm, into the shadows with him; and gently pushes you back against the tree, one hand cradling the back of your head. He can barely see your face, but it's enough.

(For now, it’s enough.)

There's no words; only the sound of slow breaths as you gaze up at him. You let your bag slide down to the ground. It lands with a muffled thump. Time slows down as your eyes wander across his face, finally settling on his lips. Your hands come to his shoulders. Porco’s free arm snakes around your waist.

This is where you’re supposed to be, he thinks as he leans down. Right here, with me.

It’s been too damn long.

He missed how warm your lips are. He missed how your hands clutch at his jacket, how they trail up the sides of his jaw; and further up into his hair. It's a little different today, though— your fingers are surprisingly open and free, without inhibition, when they’re tugging at it. They’re telling him that you like this, you like this.

He knows, because he feels you kissing him back just as fervently, pressing your chest up against him; heat radiating from—

Ah, fuck. Porco reluctantly straightens up.

(He needs to control himself. He can’t let himself go too far, too quickly.)

“We should— we should go inside,” he manages to say, blood still rushing in his ears. His breath mists in the cold air.

(He has to do this right.)

“I— yes. We should. Inside.” You sound dazed. It’s almost enough to make him lose his resolve.

Porco leads you by the hand, making sure your path hugs the shadows around the building as much as possible. At the door, he waits as you fish the keyring out of your coat pocket, and fumble with the small padlock.

Once you’re both inside— the door locked behind you— he has an idea.

“How about we go upstairs?”

You pause, then nod. So he takes your hand again— so addictively soft, and smaller than his— and leads you past the clinic, and through the narrower door that opens into a cramped stairwell. It’s windowless, and completely dark.

Porco wraps an arm around your waist, and firmly grips the bannister with the other. He tells you to be careful. The polished wooden stairs creak as he climbs up one flight, and then another with you; moving his feet cautiously into the darkness, more sweeps than steps.

(He feels every breath you take, and wishes he could always keep you this close.)

After a while, the bannister stops abruptly. He feels around blindly in the dark, keeping you pulled snug against him. There’s a door handle. He gives it a turn. Locked.

He uses his fingertips to trace along it, and finds the indent at its base.

“Get your keys.” He instinctively keeps his voice low.

He hears the keys on the ring jingling in the dark. “I think I have the right one,” you say; quiet but excited.

Porco guides your hand to the lock. He hears you taking three tries to push the key in, and then the bolts sliding back.

The door opens, into a room that’s almost big enough to be a hall. Moonlight washes it with a faint glow, incredibly bright after the pitch dark of the stairwell; bright enough to see the dust motes in the air. The wallpaper is peeling. Cardboard boxes are piled waist-high all around, some of their bottoms torn and the files inside them spilling out. What look like old, rusted bed frames are pushed against the farthest wall.

It resembles the older wards at the hospital, with nice, tall windows all along the outside walls. Framed inside the tallest, widest window at the end of the room— behind a simple iron grill— are the elm branches. The moon peeks through the leaves.

The place is old, abandoned, and dusty.

Porco finally feels at peace.

“Oh, it’s so much prettier at night,” you breathe. “Where can we sit?”

Porco hums, and picks his way through the maze of boxes with you, finally finding a relatively clear spot on the floor right in front of the large window. It’s a little chilly to be sitting on the bare wood, but when you hug his arm and curl into his side, it doesn’t feel all that bad anymore.

“I… brought us something,” you tell him, a little hesitantly. You’ve let your coat open, and the white of your blouse glows in the moonlight.

“Actual chocolate?” he asks with a chuckle.

You laugh. He’s missed the sound. “No. I wanted to get us something sweet, but all the shops were closed because it’s so late.” You pull your bag into your lap; and after digging around for a moment, take out a bottle. “This was all I could find.”

“Is that wine?” Porco asks, an eyebrow raised.

“You’re always doing things for me,” you say, sounding like you really want him to understand something, but he’s not sure what. “And I just let you. I— ” You stop, and bite your lip. “Do you like it?”

Porco grins at you. He’s more of a hard liquor kind of guy, but somehow, whiskey doesn’t seem half as appealing right now. “Of course I do. Pour me some?”

You look pleased with yourself . “I can go get glasses from the clinic.”

Porco doesn’t like the idea of you stumbling around in that dark stairwell. “No. We’re drinking straight from the bottle.”

“Exciting!”

(That surprises him. He thought you'd be a little more flustered about it. He'd been hoping for it, in fact. He thinks it’s adorable.)

The key ring jingles again as you twist one of the keys into the cork, and struggle with it for a few seconds. Porco’s about to offer to help, when it comes out with a pop. A few drops spill on your coat. The small stains look like ink under the moon.

(Where did you learn how to do that?)

“Oh, I hope that comes out okay,” you say worriedly. You tilt your head back and swallow a mouthful of wine, then hold it out towards him. “Here. It’s good.”

Porco accepts the bottle but doesn't drink. He leans back a little, resting on his palm. “You seem a little… different.”

In the dark, he can just make out the anxious look in your eyes. “...Good different?” you ask.

He considers it. What was it really, that felt different? The way you’d kissed him. How you matched him step for step in the stairwell earlier, when he thought you’d be scared, and now this wine…

You seemed surer of yourself, Porco realises.

“Yeah, good different,” he tells you with a grin. He takes a swig of wine. It’s plenty sweet. “What changed?”

A little of that shyness he likes so much comes back; and you can't meet his eyes, even in the moonlight, for your next words. “Maybe you're good for me.”

(He may be good for you, he thinks; but you’re still the best thing that’s ever happened to him.)

Porco kisses you, once, twice, and then once more because he can’t help himself; tasting the wine on your lips each time. “Can I ask you something? Why did they send you here?” How did I get so lucky?

It’s a lighthearted question, but something shifts. You tense a little, enough for him to notice.

“You don’t have to talk about—” he starts.

You sigh. “No, I want to tell you. I have, for a while.”

And then you tell him, all about a little Eldian girl named Julie, who had been in a terrible accident— a train derailment— with over a hundred others. You tell him how she’d had a piece of iron impaled straight through her stomach, and how she had been crying without making a sound, waiting all alone— abandoned in a hallway like a discarded doll— for someone to help her, while her blood continued to stain the carpet. That you’d finally convinced a doctor to attend to her, and how he’d floundered in the middle of it; after they brought in a Marleyan boy.

“He left me—” you swallow thickly, and take a few deep breaths. “He left me and Eileen with Julie, and I had— I had my hand inside her, to put pressure on it, to stop the bleeding—”

(He thinks you drink a little more of the wine than you should while you’re talking; but even though your lip wobbles and you choke more than once— a knife twists in his heart each time— the tears stay glistening in your eyes and don’t drop.)

“It’s okay,” he soothes. “You don’t have to finish.”

You shake your head. “The boy was dead already. I don’t know if they messed up at intake, or if he died on the way to the ward, but he was dead. Crush injuries. But Dr. Klein didn’t want the paperwork to look like he gave up on him to work on an Eldian girl.”

Porco doesn’t comment, though he has lots of choice words for this Dr. Klein lining up on his tongue. He just comfortingly rubs your arm.

“I yelled at him to stop being ridiculous, trying to revive a dead body. And it wasn’t— I didn’t make a mistake, I know it. He was right next to me, I could see—” You stop abruptly, and then continue after a moment. “I eventually got him to come back. But the little boy’s mother wanted someone to blame, and she got it in her head that he didn’t get the help he needed because of me. Dr. Klein, Eileen… none of them backed me up.”

“Do you regret doing it?” Porco asks, gently.

“No!” you cry, snapping your face up to look at him. “I just— I don’t know if I made a difference.”

“It must have made a difference to her.”

You shake your head again. “Julie died anyway. She was too far gone. And I don’t know if Dr. Klein was right to stop trying.”

Porco pulls you into his lap without warning. You squeak in surprise, but he doesn’t let you move, holding you tight against him.

“It made a difference to her,” he repeats. “Don’t you dare think otherwise.” He feels your hand braced against his chest, how the shaky breaths against his collarbone begin to slow.

“Thank you, Porco,” you say after a minute, and he thinks you may be crying now; but he knows you’ll be alright. He hears it in your voice.

Porco kisses the top of your head. “It’s the truth.”

For a minute, it’s silent.

Then you speak again. “I think you were loved a lot.”

He raises his eyebrows. Several faces flash through his head. “Look, I don’t know what you heard, but—”

“Not like that!” you say with a laugh. “I mean growing up. Your family must have loved you so much, because…” Your voice grows softer “...because you’re so good at showing affection. You must have learned from them.”

Porco feels his face heating up. “It’s not anything special—”

“It is,” you insist, as you curl into him a little more comfortably. “You’re good at it.”

Porco holds you tighter, feeling the warmth of your body, and the calming way your chest rises and falls with each breath. Your comment stays in his head as the conversation continues, even when your breathing slows and you start slurring your words.

(He can tell you’re falling asleep. He wonders if he should walk you back down so you can get to your room, and a real bed; but then you reach for his hand, and he decides an hour or two like this wouldn’t hurt.)

Was he loved? He thinks he was. He thinks of his mother, who made sure he never felt alone or insecure, after his father was gone. Who was always there to hug and kiss him, and tuck him into bed; no matter how tired she was. Who pretended she had already eaten, when there wasn’t enough food left in the pantry for three portions. Who now pretends she isn’t worried to death about him every time they send him to the edges of the empire.

He thinks of Marcel. Porco knows he was reckless— is reckless— and that Marcel had often been the only thing standing between him and his teeth getting knocked out. How the only thing he ever wanted in return was to ruffle his hair up a little bit. He knows he only learned how to get along with children, because Marcel had figured out how to get along with him first.

Porco wishes he could introduce you to Marcel. He thinks you would have liked him.

He thinks Marcel would have liked you too.

You wonder if the salesclerk— was that even what you were supposed to call her? It didn’t feel right— has sore cheeks from smiling so much. The slope of her lips hasn’t shifted even a little from when you walked into the boutique about an hour ago. It’s still perfect— formal, yet welcoming.

The older woman instructs the girl modelling a red dress to spin and show off the flare. She’s on a little round platform. It’s disturbingly reminiscent of a music box with a ballerina.

On the opposite sofa, Claire frowns. “I don’t know… do you have one that’s more coquelicot than rose?”

“Don’t force yourself to like it, Claire,” Sophie says, sipping on her champagne. “I know the embroidery is pretty, but it’s not worth it. The rolled hem won’t hold up with that fabric.” She addresses the woman. “Do you have something similar with a blind hem?”

Hannah pinches your blouse and pulls you closer to her, a little clumsily. Her drink tips dangerously as she leans over the cushion to whisper in your ear.

“What’s the difference?” she hisses. “And what in the world is coquelicot?”

“I don’t know,” you hiss back. “Isn’t that your fourth glass already?”

“Is it? They’re free though, it’s okay.”

Hannah has certainly adapted to this place better than you have.

You knew Claire was rich, but you didn’t know she was this rich. When she’d invited you to come clothes shopping with her, you hadn’t exactly expected her to patronise the night markets; but this was one of the most expensive boutiques in Liberio. The kind of place where you didn’t have to do anything for yourself, not even trying the clothes on.

It must look even more beautiful in the daytime, you think.

Everything is detailed. There’s luxurious gold trimming (real gold) on the creamy white walls. An ornate crystal chandelier lights up the cosy space, along with half a dozen lamps that have lacey shades. The legs on every table and side table are made of a delicately twisted iron, meant to resemble vines. Rolls of the most beautifully printed and embroidered fabrics you’ve ever seen are draped over them.

It should have felt cluttered, but somehow it’s all so tasteful it just looks intimidatingly expensive.

Even the sofa you’re sitting on— the cushions are a muted mint, incredibly soft, and its blue-green throw pillows are embroidered with red roses and pink peonies. The threads are so thin and delicate, you’re afraid to rest your weight against them.

Hannah doesn’t seem to mind though. She sits comfortably, with her ankles crossed, smiling pleasantly (and a touch too widely, unlike the salesclerk— or perhaps the ‘manager’ would be a better word?) as she looks around the room.

“Claire!” she says suddenly. “Look at that green silk. I think that would look so nice on you.”

Claire looks where she’s pointing and nods. “Show me what you have in that fabric, please.”

“Gladly, Madame.” The salesclerk— manager, proprietress?— claps her hands, and the ballerina hops off her platform. They both glide to the back of the shop. You see Ballerina undoing her buttons on the way.

Hannah stands up abruptly, and sways in place.

Claire raises an eyebrow at you. You mouth a four, pointing at your own champagne flute, and she stifles a laugh.

“Maybe you should sit down, Han.” Sophie suggests, eyebrow raised. “Or at least put the glass away. You’re going to spill it.”

You’ve known Hannah since your time at the hospital, and you spend most of your time with Claire. One is the opposite of secretive, and the other is far too poised to ever need to hide anything. Sophie is still a mystery to you.

Sophie has only ever spoken to you once— on the train back from the Mid-East— and you’ve seen her a handful of times while you were there. She’s always looked more like a strict school teacher to you than a nurse, with her half rimmed glasses and her black hair usually pulled into a tight bun.

Hannah looks at the glass in her hands, a thoughtful expression on her face. Then she raises it to her lips, and drinks the whole thing in a single breath.

“No spills,” she says, holding the glass upside-down with a flourish.

Claire laughs out loud, while Sophie sighs. Hannah does a little bow.

You can’t help laughing too. Even aside from Hannah never failing to raise everyone’s spirits, you’re already in a good mood.

(You feel well rested for the first time in days.)

Hannah plops back down next to you. “Claire, didn’t you say you wanted to tell us something earlier?”

Claire suddenly looks very serious. “I did.” She runs a finger around the edge of her glass, and then takes a deep breath. “I’m resigning.”

“You are? When?” you ask, dismayed.

“You’re leaving?” Hannah cries.

Sophie just looks annoyed. “You’re quitting your job? Claire, no matter how nice he is—”

Claire waves her hands to shush everyone. “I’m not quitting being a nurse. And I’m not leaving Liberio. I applied to the new private hospital.” She takes a sip of her drink. “It only makes sense. It’s closer to where the apartment is, and the pay is better.”

(You’re surprised to see Claire looking a little sad, about something that made sense.)

“And,” she says, looking at you. “They’re still doing the interiors, so I won’t be gone for a while. I just wanted to give everyone a heads up.”

Sophie leans back, satisfied. “The private sector pay is great. I’m much happier out of the military. Don’t have goddamn sergeants thinking they can yell at me.”

“Oh, no one yells at Claire,” you say without thinking; your tongue loosened by the alcohol, and by how touched you are at her reassuring you. “They’re all too scared.”

Sophie peers at you over her lenses. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but… how are you so pleasant?”

You feel your face warming. “What do you mean?”

“You’re so nice. Everyone gets a little jaded after seeing the frontlines, but look at you.”

“It's because she didn't see much of it,” Claire says. “She was only there for the last couple of months.”

The Warrior Unit was supposed to be a temporary assignment. Just somewhere the board decided to stash you, out of the public eye; until the whole business with Julie had been sorted. You weren’t really part of the unit, not back then.

And so you’d been left behind while the rest of them were sent to the Mid East. But you never did apologise— Director Klein ended up having no choice but to sign off on your formal transfer.

(It had happened almost overnight. It led to Claire finding you standing awkwardly at the entrance of the tent; wearing boots that had been issued last-minute, and at least one size too big. They’d made you feel even more like a child, far out of your depth.)

Sophie adjusts her glasses. “You haven’t even seen titans?”

“No.”

“Hope it stays that way.”

“This wasn't like Helena, Soph,” Claire adds, “The Warriors steamroll over everything. And it all happens so far away, relatively speaking.”

Hannah claps her hands. “This isn’t a fun topic! Claire, congratulations on the new job.”

Sophie shakes her head, as if to clear it, and nods. “Congratulations. Maybe I’ll apply too.”

“Oh!” Hannah suddenly sits bolt upright. “And maybe I’ll apply to the Warrior Unit!”

Sophie smiles wryly. “I thought your plan was having a rich patient fall in love with you. Not a lot of eligible bachelors over there.”

“No, but she’s over there.” Hannah gives you a one armed hug. From her, it’s as warm and comforting as a bear hug from most others. (Even if her drunkenness has her clumsily punching your arm on the first try.) “What’s so great about guys anyway? I don’t have half as much fun as I do with you three. Claire, is Eric fun?”

“Not as much as you,” she replies, with a barely straight face.

Porco's pretty fun, you think. He always makes me laugh.

But there's a tinge of melancholy to the thought.

Claire was leaving. She would leave, and one day she’d go so far— Odiha, or maybe even further— and you wouldn’t be able to see her anymore. They all would. And then Porco would too.

And then no one would know.

No one would know that he’s more than fun. They wouldn’t know how he’s been kinder to you than anyone else in your entire life. They wouldn't know that he makes you feel safe enough to fall asleep in his arms.

No one would know how he made you feel wanted.

They wouldn’t know, because even though it’s safest when it feels like you’re the only two people in the world, it meant that world would disappear with him.

“You look like you finally got a good night of sleep,” Claire comments.

Your heart starts to race, though you’re not sure exactly why. “Oh, yes. I slept well last night.”

(No one knows.)

The first thing that makes Colt think something is up, is when Porco spends the whole night chewing with his mouth closed.

The second, is his reaction to Olivia telling him— very suggestively— as she pours him yet another glass of whiskey, that her shift would be over in another hour.

“Yeah? It’s still pretty early, but be careful on your way home,” Porco says.

Colt chokes on his drink.

Zeke snorts.

Pieck’s eyes go wide.

A stream of beer dribbles out the corner of Reiner’s mouth.

The bar is busy, and loud. There’s a table celebrating a birthday, and the residents of the internment zone were never ones to let an excuse to celebrate pass them by. You had to take the happy times when you could, even if they were borrowed from someone else. Cheers periodically erupt from near the dartboard. It’s difficult to see through the crowd surrounding it, but Colt’s fairly sure the birthday boy has taken it off the wall, and added an extra challenge to the whole thing by moving it wildly around.

He’d been meaning to go join in, when Porco Galliard turned down a hookup. Colt has only just started getting buzzed, but the shock of it almost sobers him.

Olivia, with her attractive red lip, and long dark hair that could only be described as tresses, was reminiscent of the princesses from Falco’s old books; if those princesses knew how to make the best drinks in Liberio, and seemed to have an aversion to buttoning the top half of their blouses.

In short, it was not the response of a rational man; especially one with Porco’s habits.

Pieck claps him on the shoulders. “Porco! You shouldn’t have come out if you were feeling ill! Here, drink my water.”

Porco looks bewildered. “Feeling ill—”

Reiner wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and sighs. “I hope you don’t throw up in our room. Pace yourself, for god’s sake.”

“Why would I—”

Colt gently takes the still full glass of whiskey out of his hand. “You know there’s no need to try and keep up with me, right? I would never think less of—”

Porco snatches it back. “What the fuck are all of you talking about?”

Olivia, to her credit, seemed to be taking it in stride. She leans forward, elbows on the counter. Colt idly wonders if the buttons had actually popped off at some point. Or maybe it was more comfortable for her like that. It did seem too small. He doesn’t think he should ask.

“It sounds like they’re concerned about you not coming home with me, champ,” she says with a playful grin. “Is it something I said or did… the last couple dozen times?”

“Helos,” Porco mutters. “I’m fucking fine. I don’t mean to insult you, Liv. I just want to drink and go to bed today.”

Zeke conspicuously sets down his glass, and takes a puff of his cigarette; which usually meant he would be spouting some sage wisdom. “There’ll be plenty of time for that later, Galliard.”

Porco rolls his eyes. But he doesn’t interrupt. It never works. Colt would know.

"You're still in the sweet spot right now," Zeke continues, exhaling a cloud of smoke into the already hazy air of the bar. "Where they don't see a dead man, only some fun with a guarantee of no strings attached. No offense, Miss Olivia.”

“None taken. He’s very fun.”

“That makes him sound selfish,” Pieck comments. “Pock here’s quite sensitive, actually.” The way she says it, it’s somehow genuine and teasing at the same time.

Zeke waves the lit cigarette around as he speaks. It flits through the smoke like a boozey firefly. (Colt’s aware the metaphor is absurd, but the alcohol is starting to hit him. People said he never knew when it did, but look. He did.)

Porco slams back his drink. Colt winces. That was most definitely a sipping whisky.

“Fuck you guys,” Porco says, voice hoarse. “I need to take a leak.” He shoves himself backwards, the bar stool screeching, and then stalks off in the direction of the bathrooms.

Colt trades a look with Pieck.

(Really, he wanted to exchange a look with everyone to see what they thought of that, but she was the only one who looked back.)

“I don’t know what’s up with him,” she says. “He’s starting to worry me though, to be honest.”

Colt finishes his drink in another two gulps. He was the only one who could help Porco now. Pieck couldn’t go into the men’s bathrooms.

And so he goes after him.

He finds Porco not inside the bathroom, but in the hallway outside of it, where the noise of the bar is contained behind a stout wooden door.

(So he didn’t have to piss, Colt thinks. Maybe that’s important.)

“Galliard.”

Porco, who was moodily staring at his own boots, snaps his head up in disbelief. “Leave me alone. I’m not horny all the time, fucking sue me.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Colt asks.

“Lots of things. Want a list?”

Before he can chide him for the sarcasm, Colt trips on his own feet, and stumbles rather than walks the last few steps. He ends up leaning heavily on Porco’s shoulders, trying to regain his balance.

For all his flaws, Porco doesn’t try to push him away. “Are you drunk already? We haven’t even been here for an hour.”

Colt raises his head. He can find his balance later. “Galliard,” he says, looking him straight in the eyes, so he knows Colt is serious, “you know you can trust me, right?”

Porco’s throat bobs. “Yeah, man,” he says, voice thick. “I trust you.”

There’s no easy way to ask this. Turning down Olivia, the hurrying away after showers— it could only mean one thing, from him.

Colt takes a deep breath. “Galliard, after your injury. I know the nurses treated you—” He feels Porco tense under his hands. “— and it’s difficult to even think about, but—”

Porco isn’t breathing. He stares at Colt, eyes wide.

“—but did your dick grow back wrong?”

There’s silence, punctuated by uproarious laughter from the bar.

And then, Colt’s on the floor.

Porco pushed him.

“Motherfucking hell, piece of fucking shit—”

He’s swearing up a storm, but really, Colt doesn’t mind. It’s not directed at him. It’s just how Porco deals with his emotions, sometimes. It stopped bothering him after the first five years. (As long as Falco's not around.)

“Well something’s bothering you,” he insists from the floor. It's disturbingly sticky as he pushes himself up. “You’ve been acting weird ever since we came back from the Mid East.”

“Give it a rest—”

“You’re even broodier than usual. Is Mrs. Galliard okay?”

Porco drags a hand over his face. “Ma’s fine, Grice. Thank you for the concern.”

And then, Colt remembers something that’s been bothering him for a while now. “And then you asked that nurse to come with us to the park—” Suddenly, it all clicks into place.

The dawning realisation must be obvious on his face, because Porco’s has gone white. He can tell, even in the dim lighting. “Grice—”

“You’ve got a crush on her.”

Porco’s making a really weird expression now. If Colt didn’t know better, if he didn’t know how the alcohol made him overly dramatic, he’d think Porco was about to cry.

“... and what would you say if I did?” His voice is hoarse again.

Colt thinks about it. “That it’s understandable. She saved your life.”

Relief blooms across Porco’s face. The pinch between his eyebrows disappears. “Then—”

“But that you’re—” Colt pauses to hiccup. “— being really stupid by indulging in it like that. Quit it before—” Another hiccup. “— she figures it out.”

Porco pushes him aside, and starts to head back to the bar. Colt can’t see his face, so it’s difficult to decipher his tone, but the words are oddly clipped back. Like he’s forcing each one out. “Wow, Grice. I thought you’d be the blindly supportive type.”

Colt’s confused. “I thought you didn't like fairy tales.”

Sylvie’s cooking smells heavenly.

(It always has, right from when Theo was a kid, and she was making magic out of a can of peas.)

Theo cautiously peeks in through the kitchen window. He can see the table set for two places. One’s for her, of course. But that other one…

Was Porco home?

“I can hear you crunching through the leaves from here, Theo,” she calls, not looking up from the pot she’s stirring. “Come in. The plate’s for you.”

And so Theo meekly makes his way to the front door, and slinks in like a particularly dirty stray cat that the family has taken upon itself to feed. Confident, but ready to bolt at a moment’s notice. He makes sure to wipe his shoes on the mat— he’s pretty sure Sylvie’s hospitality would reach its limit if he got mud on her nice carpet.

He takes a seat at the table. It wasn’t too long ago, he thinks with some sadness, how he had to drag in a chair from the living room to sit at this table. Back when all four dining chairs had been spoken for.

“Porco came by already tonight. Said they were going out to the bar, if you want to avoid it.” She sighs and shakes her head. “I know his liver will be fine, but as a mother…” She takes a deep breath, and keeps stirring her pot.

“Oh,” Theo says.

Sylvie had given him more second chances than he could count. It’s why he believes Evie every time she calls him selfish.

(It’s why Wolfe fell in love with her, he thinks. That endless forgiveness, when he knew better than anyone how much Theo didn’t deserve it. He would have given Theo those chances too, though; if he’d survived that first one.)

Sylvie turns off her stove, and carefully walks the pot over to the table. Theo tears himself a chunk off bread off the loaf on the table. She ladles stew onto his plate, humming all the while.

“You’re in a good mood,” Theo comments. It’s nice to see Sylvie like this. She’s usually so worried about her son.

Sylvie waves off the comment as she sits down. “Oh, it’s just that Porco seemed so happy today.”

“Yeah? Something good happen?”

“I wouldn’t know, he didn’t tell me a thing. He said he was just here to make sure you had cleared out.”

Theo blanches. “And what did you tell him?”

“That it wasn’t his business who stayed in my house,” Sylvia scoffs. “Well really, I told him I’d take care of it. He took it how he liked.” She leans toward him. “But he seemed too happy to care either way,” she says conspiratorially.

“The kid does wear his heart on his sleeve,” Theo agrees.

(Porco always had. Right from when he was in diapers, wrinkling his nose at Theo’s off-key singing. In Porco’s defence, there were actual stray cats who could caterwaul more melodiously.)

“Oh, I love him too much for him to be able to hide it anyway.” She smiles to herself as she reaches for the bread. “That’s the thing about love. Everything shows.”

Theo rolls his eyes. “That’s so sappy, I’m going to throw up.”

Eric clears the side of his desk for Claire as she sets her shopping bags down and rests her hip on its edge. He allows himself a moment to admire the ring glinting on his finger. That had been a good choice.

The office is on the night shift. Claire’s not strictly supposed to be here right now, but most people are sleeping at their desks and weren’t awake to report it. It’s one of the few public buildings that got electric bulbs put in this year, and Eric is slightly displeased that they generate enough heat that he needs to take off his sweater vest. It’s one of his favourite parts of autumn, and now it’s been delayed.

“... and then when we went to look at perfumes, she picked out this honeysuckle one. It was too sweet for me, but she’s cute enough to pull it off.”

“I think you’re sweet,” he attempts.

Claire swats him on the shoulder, but he can see she’s smiling. “That’s not the point! The point is, you should have seen her face. She was definitely thinking about someone. I’m not about to pry though.”

Eric hums. It’s not in disinterest. He’s just trying to make sure he’s filing everything away correctly. He’s still got a headache from Chief Gerard yelling at that poor secretary this afternoon for misplacing documents. The poor girl had been swearing someone had messed with them, but he wouldn’t have it.

“Are you still working on that missing persons case?” Claire asks.

Eric frowns. “Technically, I am. But it isn’t going anywhere, so the Chief assigned me to something else.”

“Oh?”

There’s a bitter taste in his mouth. “I’m temporarily partnering with Detective Rolland.” He discreetly rolls his eyes towards the man sitting on the other side of the room.

Rolland is a psychopath. Eric knows this. Chief Gerard knows this. Everyone knows this. But the man had a knack for closing cases. Criminals all but lined up to confess. The Chief didn’t let him investigate alone anymore, though. There needed to be someone making sure his methods would hold up in court.

Eric thinks it just warps the younger detectives’ idea of what’s acceptable.

In fact, Eric wouldn’t put it past him to not care about the protocol around properly signing out files.

I should look into that, he thinks to himself, as he watches Thomas Rolland pull back his sleeve, to check the time on his large, gold-plated watch.

Hannah's getting a suspicious amount of character development, isn't she? 🤭 Please leave a like/reblog/reply if you enjoyed!

#porco galliard x reader #porco x reader #snk x reader #aot x reader #angst #fluff #my fic #snk precipice

[coltrainbat]

MASTERLIST

✨Masterlist ✨

READ ME BEFORE YOU REQUEST

Please note I don’t write anything that is illegal or borderline inappropriate. This includes sibling smut, adult baby kink (I dont even know what its called), teacherxstudent relationships and anything else I deem off. I also havent been to high school for many years so even if it’s innocent fluff I do not write HS AUs. If you’re unsure just ask! Can even be anon and if you don’t get a reply to your request then it’s a no. I’m fine with Daddy kink and most sex stuff as long as it doesn't cross lines into over infantilising, acting like an actual baby. 

As much as I’d love to sit in my bed all day and write fics... I have a big girl job and answer my requests in order I receive them (lol OCD tings) and I cant start one until the other is done (again sorry OCD tings). So please note there is a 3 week ish turn around for requests at max. And sometimes if I get a good idea I’ll write my own first cause I have to get it out of my head. But if you want updates feel free to message me or I’ll post an update if I get caught up in life! 

I’m always up for a chat and am pretty active on here so you’re welcome to talk to me about whatever, ask questions or just chat! Please note it’s an 18+ account and if you don’t specify that I won’t reply. 

Ty x

Clover ☘️

Dividers from the brilliant @firefly-graphics 💕

Gifs and images are not mine! 

KEY:

☁️ - Fluff 🔥 - Smut/NSFW 🌤 - Platonic 

🌧  - Tear Jerker / Sad

🌪 - Angst

SERIES: 

COMING SOON: Third Times A Charm | A Chris Evans X RDJ Sister!Reader (description here)

Take Me Home | Nick Vaughan X Reader:

Part 1 -  Meet Cute ☁️

Yes, No, Maybe | Chris Evans X Curvy!Reader:

Part 1 - Chris meets you and has to have you. ☁️🌪

Part 2 - your first date. ☁️

Part 3 (Virgin!Reader) - Chris takes your virginity 🔥☁️

Bubba | Dad!Chris Evans X Pregant/Mom!Reader):

Part 1 - You tell Chris he’s going to be a dad for the first time. ☁️🌧

Part 2 - Protective!DadChris ☁️

IMAGINES/ONE SHOTS & HEADCANONS:

Chris Evans

You’re Mine (Curvy!Reader) - You’re Chris’s FWB and you wonder if you’re the only one 🔥☁️

All Worth It (Curvy!Reader) - You and Chris go public with your relationship. ☁️

Chris Evans Alphabet (Curvy!Reader) - smut implied but mainly fluff. ☁️

Chris Evans Alphabet NSFW - 🔥

What A Girl Wants - You’re a str!pper and Chris wants you for the night. 🔥

Happiest Man Alive - You’re a florist and Chris proposes at the Oscars ☁️

No One Disrespects Chris’s Girl - A journalist insults you to Chris’s face. 🌪

Best Birthday Ever (Curvy!Reader) - You usually dread your birthday but Chris has a surprise in stall. ☁️

Bed. Now. - Finals week has hit but Chris wants you to sleep. ☁️

Boston Boy Documentary - Your segment in Chris’s documentary. ☁️

Can’t Believe They’re Real - Chris is an ass guy but with tits like yours he cant help be obsessed.  🔥

Favourite Pillows - Chris’s favourite pillows are conveniently on your chest. ☁️

My Angel (Model!Reader) - You’re a Victoria Secret Angel ☁️

Because I Want You - Your bestie, Chris gets a bit jealous...  ☁️🌪

Cookie - Baking cookies doesnt go as planned.  ☁️🔥

High On You - You and Chris enjoy a joint together. ☁️

I’m in Chwarge (Blurb) - No one tells you whhat to do besides Chris ☁️🔥

Tik Tok Leggings - You could say Chris likes your new leggings… 🔥☁️

Eat Shit Ransom - You’ve got a huge crush on Ransom 🌪☁️

Pork or Pasta? - You meet Chris for the first time but arent so sure about him... 🌪☁️

Mint Condition - Captain America Roleplay  🔥

Sexiest Girl Alive (Curvy!Reader) - You get hate for your body and Chris comes to your defence. 🌪☁️

Headcanon!Chris Evans - Chris start to cheer his gf up. How? With stupid cheesy pick up lines ☁️

Steve Rogers 

I’m The Captain Now - Taking Steve’s virginity 🔥

Off to College - You & Steve send your little girl off to College ☁️🌧

Family Matters - Steve’s sister dies 🌧🌤 

Roped Up - Steve ties you up 🔥

Soxs - You get Steve a cat to help with his nightmares. ☁️

Prettiest Girl In The World (PreSerum!Steve X Plussize!Reader) - Steve thinks you’re the best even if you don’t. 🔥☁️🌧

Get A Life - Shortsized!Reader working for Bruce Banner as a lab assistant and Steve has a total crush on her. ☁️

Frank Adler 

Disneyland - You and Frank take Mary to Disney ☁️

Put It On My Tab - Frank introduces Female Bartender!Reader and introduces her to his niece. ☁️

Andy Barber

What To Wear (Curvy!Reader) - Andy helps you find a shirt that fits for your date night. ☁️

Sparks Fly - Soulmate AU ☁️

You’re Sick (Blurb) ☁️

Our Home - Laurie shows up unannounced. 🌪☁️

Knock Knock - You surprise Andy at work. 🔥

Lloyd Hansen

You’re Not Sorry - You act like a brat but Lloyd is going to make you pay for it. 🔥🌪

Ari Levinson

I’ll Take Care of You - Ari is married to your sister but he has you on on his mind. 🔥

Neighbours - You get very friendly with your neighbour, Ari.  🔥

Ransom Drysdale

Good Bunny - Ransom wants to explore the hole God can’t see... 🔥

Liam Hemsworth

Nostalgia - You and Liam reunite but its a little different now. ☁️🌪

#chris evans fics #chris evans masterlist #chris evans fan fiction #chris evans fanfic #Chris Evans fandom #chris evans x reader

[yumjunniie]

crush | lee jeno

☆ warnings; bullying (light), making out, boob play, hand job, loss of virginity ( m & f), fingering, masturbation (m). reader is on birth control (still wrap it b4 u tap it ppl) ☆ genre; fluff & smut.

☆ word count; 1k

☆ summary; you noticed lee jeno always getting bullied on how he rather study than party. people called him a nerd or told him he gets no bitches, even your friends decided to poke fun at him, but you didn’t think it was fair. one morning as he was getting picked on, you helped him but it led to him being your “bf”. yes, you found him attractive, intelligent, and cute. maybe a tiny crush on him. so you talked to him, got to know him, and fell deeper.

waking up was the same as everyday, cool weather, dim sun lighting, birds chirping, smell of freshly made coffee and breakfast. you loved mornings like this. you got up to get ready for school and went downstairs for breakfast. “hey mom” you greeted. “hi my love, don’t forget to take jisung to dance practice after school today” your mother reminded you. “yes ma’am” you giggled. “PARK JISUNG HURRY YOUR ASS!” you yelled. “hey watch your mouth” your mom warned. “I’M COMING LOSER.” you rolled your eyes as you poured your coffee.

“alright i got my things let’s go” jisung hurriedly rushed out the door. “bye mom” you said as you kissed her goodbye. “bye kids, love you!” “love you too” you and jisung yelled in unison. you pulled up into the school parking lot and parked your car. locking it you hear trouble already. you look over to see what’s happening and it’s not good. “hey isn’t that your friend lee jeno” “yeah, i can’t believe this is happening again,” he exhaled. “get up loser, ready some lame book to tingle your dick” bully 1 laughed. “it’s just my chemistry h-homework, ” he stuttered. “stop being a nerd and get your dick wet for once” bully 2 said as he pushed him onto the ground. you walked up next to your friends. “i can’t believe this is happening at 8 am,” you sighed. “i know it’s fucking funny” your friend giggled. you furrowed your eyebrows. “not it’s not” you responded angrily. “what are you his girlfriend? why are you defending that loser?” she said. “someone has a crush.” your other friend said.

“so what if i did, you guys are nothing but assholes who have nothing else better to do but ruin someone’s life” you shout. “come on, get up, fight back,” he said as he pushed him once more. “how about you go fuck off” you got in his face as he backed away. you turned back around to go help jeno up and gave him his chemistry book back. “wow, would you look at that! lee jeno found himself a gf” bully 1 shouts. “s-she’s n-not” he stuttered. “yeah i am his gf and what about it?” you looked around and questioned. jisung couldn’t believe what he heard neither did jeno. honestly you couldn’t believe what you were saying. “come on jeno, let’s go to the lunch room.” you grabbed his sleeve and left. everyone is literally shocked.

“y-your not gonna like take me to your house and give me a super fuck boy makeup look to distract people for who i really am right?” jeno said. “no you’re cute just the way you are” you replied. ‘oh shit i just called him cute’ ‘she just called me cute’ you both stood quiet, ears burning red. “look i’d like to be your friend, my name is park y/n” you said as you reached your hand out. “j-jeno” he stuttered as he shook your hand.

the past couple of months with jeno has been really fun but the tension is seriously getting to you. the hugs he gives you when he’s greeting you, the quality fun who guys have when you guys study, playing video games, even when he sleeps over just to be with jisung, the air gets hot. you noticed little things about jeno that makes your throat dry and your skin burn up. when he focuses on his homework, he’ll lick the corner of his lip or when he’s winning a game his hands are fast and veiny on the controller, or the way he man spreads when he eats popcorn while watching a movie. you couldn’t believe yourself for getting turned on over normal things. you thought about it every night.

your mom was going out on a date tonight so she invited jeno to hang out with us. the doorbell finally rang, you ran to the door. “h-hey jeno” you stuttered. ‘dude did u just stutter’ “hey y/n” he came in closer to you to give you a hug. he pulled away as he saw sungie coming down the stairs. he looked so hot. in that black tee, and grey sweats. and those glasses. you literally felt your pussy throb. “hey y/n can you bring us some snacks in the kitchen” sungie yelled. “y-yeah coming” you quickly went into the kitchen to get the snacks and drinks. “here you go jeno” you leaned down to give him his coke. he gulped as he got a closer look into your shirt, showing your cleavage. it was getting later into the night, jisung felt tired so he and jeno went into his room as you went to yours. “goodnight” you heard jeno through the wall. “night” you replied, it fell quiet it after that.

you woke up to go use the bathroom, you checked the clock. “2 am” you groaned. you slowly walked into the bathroom and opened the door. “oh my god” you shouted quietly. jeno quickly put his sweats back on. “i-i’m so sorry jeno” you apologized. “i-it’s ok.” you ran back into your room. ‘that was kinda hot’ you thought. a few minutes go by, you couldn’t sleep. “i-i’m sorry you saw that” you heard jeno apologize through the wall. “i-it’s ok, i liked what i saw” you confessed. “r-really” he stuttered. you couldn’t help yourself but to feel so horny. rubbing your clit through your shorts just wasn’t enough. “yes, w-would you like to come into my room?” you were waiting for a response but the answer was already opening your door. you turned your lamp on and sat up. patting your bed to let jeno know he can sit.

“you said you liked what you saw, do you wanna know why i was in the bathroom touching myself” jeno spoke up. “why?” “you looked so hot in your pjs and your tits look amazing in that shirt” he confessed. you took your hand and put it onto jenos neck pulling him closer to your face, looking into his eyes, and slowly kissing his soft lips. falling onto your bed, having him on top of you, brining your hand up and down his abdomen. pulling his hair slightly as he moves his lips to your neck, lightly sucking. soft whimpers escaping your lips, he stops as you lift your upper body forward to take your shirt off. “are you sure you wanna do this?” jeno asked. “yes, do you wanna do this?” you asked back. “more than anything” he smiled back at you, kissing your lips once more.

you take your bra off as he stares in awe. “don’t stare.” “s-sorry, you’re just so beautiful” he gulped. you smiled taking his neck again and pulling him into a kiss, you take your hand into his and lead his hand to your right breast. massaging his hand and playing with your sensitive nipple, causing you to moan a little too loud. he puts his hand over your mouth. “jisung is in the next room.” he shushes you as you nodded. you start kissing him some more, taking his shirt off, tugging his sweats to let him know that he can take it off. pulling away he takes off his grey sweats and throws them somewhere in the room. you take off your shorts and kick them somewhere else. jenos mouth latches to your nipples, sucking onto the sensitive bud, making you gasp for air. he takes his hand into your panties, slowly putting in one finger, and fucking you gently until you’re ready for another. jeno loves hearing the sweet sounds you make for him. his cock is so rock hard from how good you look under him, taking his fingers so well. “i’m gonna cum” “let go pretty girl.”

the nickname making you shake slightly on his fingers. you take a moment to breathe before you take both of your hands onto jenos boxers. releasing the biggest girth dick you’ve ever seen, you couldn’t believe your eyes. “h-hey don’t stare” he stuttered. “sorry but you’re huge” you physically gasped. he blushed harder as you took some of his precum into your hand to give him a long stroke down his dick and back up. ‘wow reading all that smut really paid off’ you thought. his groans and slight moans were so hot, you thought you were gonna cum again. “fuck” he heavily breathed out. “i-if you keep going i’m gonna cum” he warned. you ignored him because you were simply fascinated with how easily you’re affecting him. he took his hands to shoulder, laying you down. “i wanna be inside you before i cum” he growled out. you nodded “please” you begged simply. he kissed you lips once more as you took his cock into your hands and rubbed the tip of his cock onto your pussy before slowly entering.

he slowly puts more in. “are you ok?” you nodded “you can move now” he slowly fucks into you just to be sure. once he hears your moans getting louder he knows it feels good for you too. he kisses you again, looking into your eyes as he thrusts harder. “feels so good” “yeah do you love it” “yes i love it, i-i love you” you moan out. “i love you too” he whimpered. “ s-so close” “cum for me pretty girl.” you came undone as he pulled out of you and came on your stomach. “will you be my girlfriend” jeno asks quickly. “yes ofc i would” you answered pulling him into another kiss. “YOU GUYS R FUCKING GROSS” jisung yelled from the other room. “SORRY” you guys yelled back before cracking up.

a/n: and you n jeno lived happily ever after while jisung was traumatized 4 life :)) LMFAOOOO i hoped you guys enjoyed. i’m clearly still on my jeno things <3 this is lowkey wack 😭- em🪬

©yumjunniie | do not copy or plagiarize my work

#lee jeno smut #jeno hard hours #nct dream smut #jeno lee

[leclerced]

do the other drivers know about oscar max and the reader or is it a secret🤭 and if they know, how did they react?

nothing is established yet tbh! should we make an established universe/au for this ?? need to figure a lot of stuff out if we do that hehe

like how they meet and the thrupple starts?? i’ve got a few ideas!

oscar and reader are dating and she travels w him during his rookie season bc she just wants to support him! but then she meets max and spends months feeling guilty over crushing on him. she’d be extra lovey to oscar and he would notice the way she stares at the reigning champion but it wouldn’t upset him bc he completely understands her fascination with the two time (almost three!) world champion.

max and reader are dating when oscar has his rookie season and she’s immediately enamored by the younger man and he doesn’t get why the world champion and his gf are hanging out with him, they just seem way out of his league in every way. max would make her fuck oscar one night because he wants to prove that no one could fuck her like he does, that he’s the only one who can make her feel the way he does. but it backfires and max is obsessed w watching the younger man devour his gf and it becomes a regular thing.

or they somehow meet her at the same time so they’re kind of on equal ground. with this option i think it would be sexy to fast forward a few years so that oscar can get traded to redbull. the teammates are fighting over reader in a club, they see her at the same time and both go for it, trapping her between them at the bar and flirting incessantly with her until she tells them she’s leaving, and either both can come with her or she’s going home alone. they would have eventually gotten over it if she’d picked one over the other, but instead they’re both happy to follow her out of the club like lost puppies.

either way, i think they’d keep it under wraps until they had a hold on things, until they’d established some ground rules or determined the relationship. they’re worried about the general publics reaction, they don’t want people calling her names or any drama. they just want to protect her and live in their happy little bubble as long as possible.

if she’s dating one of them first, the other one is a little upset by being hidden bc he also wants to hold his gfs hand and kiss her in public. doesn’t like having to sneak away and make out in their driver’s room or wait to sneak into each other’s hotel rooms.

i love this idea of oscar kissing her after they have a 1-2 finish and it can fit any of the above! max lets himself be pulled away from her and steps aside so oscar can take his place. he’d place a hand on oscar’s back and rub it sweetly while they made out. the team, the camera man, the crowd, everyone is freakin out. other drivers see if on the screen and are all confused bc like what?? why is oscar putting his tongue in max’s girl’s mouth??

if she was dating oscar first, it’s just reversed, and oscar’s the one grinning madly while max lifts her over the barrier without a care in the world if he gets a fine for it.

#ask #anon #mv1/op81

[sublimecatgalaxy]

♥️ Euphoria Related Masterlist ♥️

Before requesting, take a look at my Masterpost to gain more insight into my DNI and requesting guideline lists. Take a look at my Prompt List for some ideas regarding request too!

Faye:

Everything Has Changed: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Summary: Fezco and the reader have been friends since childhood. She watched Ash grow up and she watched Fez take over the (dangerous) family business, she's been around through it all. He was a leader and she was his side kick, his sounding board, his go-to person other than Ash. They were family and always have been. The reader wasn't familiar of Laurie and her relevance in her best friends life until one night, Fez get's an urgent call from his friend Custer. Everything that follows, let's just say is Custer's fault"

Faye NSFW Alphabet

Faye Fluff Alphabet

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Nate Jacobs:

Soft Nate:

Summary/Request: "can you do a nate jacobs x fem!reader of just soft nate? any setting works, i just love soft nate"

Sister Sister:

Summary/Request: "Yeah i want a headcanon about being nate sister, Sorry i didn't specify"

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Platonic!Ashtray:

Gameplay:

Summary/Request: Platonic!Ashtray x Reader- "Fluffy blurb with fez where the reader and ash play video games all day"

Angry Visitor:

Summary/Request: Platonic!Ashtray x Reader- "i was wondering if you could do some more platonic ashtray fluff?"

It's A Girl:

Summary/Request: Platonic!Ashtray x Reader- "Fez and Reader figuring out Ash has a crush at school. I can see Ash being like “I don’t like her!”

Graduation:

Summary/Request: Platonic!Ashtray x Reader- "Could you do a fluff blurb with either Ash graduating with the reader, fez and Lily."

Scared Straight:

Summary/Request: Platonic!Ashtray x Reader- "Could you please write something like this with fez x reader and ash? I'm begging you at this point, I'm at the first stage of grief lmaooo"

Mary Poppins:

Summary/Request: Platonic!Ashtray x Reader- "reader x ashtray (platonic) where they have a movie night and he starts thanking her for basically being his mother and always protecting him"

Grocery Run:

Summary/Request: Platonic!Ashtray x Reader- "Just a funny blurb where fez sends ash and his girl out to the grocery store and they come back with random shit😂"

The Talk:

Summary/Request: Platonic!Ashtray x Reader- "you and fez having “the talk” with ash after finding out your pregnant with fez’s baby? i feel like even though ash knows he’d still be the cringing uncomfortable child hearing it from two parent figures"

Hurt:

Summary/Request: "could you do an imagine (or blurb if you prefer) of a deal going wrong and fez girlfriend somehow ends up hurt (nothing too dramatic tho) and fez and ash feel all guilty and get protective and so :)"

Shorty:

Summary/Request: "Can you do a mother figure to ash where your at a party and nate keeps bothering you, fez was going to do something but then ash did something instead!"

Jealous:

Summary/Request: "platonic!ash x reader where the reader is fezco’s gf and she just found out she was pregnant so ash gets a bit sad and jealous and they just reassure him that he’ll always be priority?"

Bullied:

Summary/Request: "maybe ash gets bullied at school bc fez didn't come to his eight grade graduation because he needed to help Lexi and then they have an argument when fez comes home?"

Say Yes:

Summary/Request: "Can you do a fez one when he try's and figure out how to propose and ashtray just make fun of him"

Expecting:

Summary/Request: "A fez x reader. Reader Announces that she is pregnant to fez and ash. Just lot of fluff and cute family vibes"

Favorite Kiddo:

Summary/Request: "Hello! Once you start writing requests I’d love to see some platonic ash with reader<3"

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Other:

Cold Hearted Snake:

Summary/Request: "can you write about the cassie x nate and lexi x fez and just the tension between them once they realise that both the sisters are dating the people who absolutely hate each other"

Not A Throuple:

Summary/Request: "for a request it could be a elliot x reader x rue where Elliot and rue are both dating her but they aren’t dating each other?"

On The Roof:

Summary/Request: "Lexi and Fezcos first kiss on the roof of his shop?"

In Need of Comfort:

Summary/Request: Fezco x reader and Elliot x reader

Family Affairs:

Summary/Request: "Hii, can you do headcanons about being Fezco and ashtray sister?"

Edgy:

Summary/Request: Fezco x reader and Elliot x reader

Double Life:

Summary/Request: Platonic!Elliot x reader; Platonic!Maddy x reader

#euphoria #euphoria fic #euphoria hbo #euphoria charcters

[pinkcherryblossom18]

I just read the 4th part to the Damian x archer!reader and I wanted to scry (scream and cry) because I LOVED IT SM!!!! When I was sending the request I couldn’t imagine what you wrote and I just loved the morning after part 🤭🤭

I have an idea for another part… or 5… I’m sorry I thought of one then another and another 😔

1 - Maybe in Damian’s POV (never see these) Since the scene when the team caught you and Damian the morning after naturally they teased you a bit but Damian has kind of been gravitating towards you more, like if the teams all together instead of standing in far enough just to hear but not be by people he would stand/sit next to you, and you and him hang out a lil bit, maybe even sleepovers or training together. Damian is developing a crush on reader but since he has a low eq (emotional intelligence) he can’t recognize it so dispute his better judgement he goes to Dick. After receiving advice Damian asks reader on a date. Readers like “Does Damian ‘I don’t have emotions (or some other cute insult)’ Wayne have a crush on lil ole me” and he’s like nvm but reader stops him like “Dames/Dami I would love to go on a date with you” kisses his cheek and walks away and he’s lowkey blushing

2- The actual date. The date could be like to an art museum and then a walk in the park w ice cream or street food and they’re just having a good time holding hands, laughing, and talking about anything and everything. After the date dañina walks reader to her room and she asks him to spend the time and he does (just kissing and cuddling). In the morning Gar calls a team meeting to show the Titans something and it’s newspaper and magazine headlines of their date “Damian Wayne on a date with mystery girl” “The Wayne heir has a gf?” and all that. But there’s this one photo of reader talking and looking at something and Damian is looking at her with a smile (SO CUTE 😆). The team is trying to ask questions but they just walk away together

3- The team is on a mission and while trying to protect a civilian the reader gets hurt and ends up unconscious. Damian stays by her side the entire time in the med bay REFUSING to leave her unless it’s to like shower and even then he has access to the surveillance in the med bay to always keep an eye on her. At some point when she’s unconscious he confesses that he might have feelings for her and he’s trying to figure it out but he knows he deeply cares for her and begging for her to wake up and maybe even says the first date was fun and wanted another one. So after like 3 days of being out reader wakes up and the first thing she says to Damian is like “So I was right, you do have feelings for me” or “is a second date the only reason why you wanted me to wake up?” He’s just so glad she’s awake he hugs her and everyone comes in after happy she’s awake

4- (This could be before or after reader and Damian start dating up to you) The Titans have to team up with the Batfam for a mission and the bats did a bg check on reader and dint like what they found except Dick (cuz he knows reader is good for Damian) and Batman (Catwoman, that’s enough by itself). So the entire time they’re making snarky jabs at reader bcuz if her past and it kinda throws her off her games as it reminds her of when her family abandoned her. During the mission Damian gets hurt but not too bad, he just needs to be bandaged and some rest but some of the bats blame the reader but the reader defends her self and goes to bandage Damian and Dick gets angry at them cuz they’re being harsh on the reader and sticks up for her. The look over shocked cuz reader is bandaging Damian (he only lets Alfred bandage him) and they’re whispering to each other, quiet giggles and smiles and when reader is done Damian hugs her whispering to her that’s it’s ok and what his family thinks it irrelevant . The bats go to her apologizing and say it’s cuz they’re protective of Damian as he’s the youngest blah blah blah and you can’t decide reader’s response.

5- Reader and Damian are out on another date and Talia interferes because she wants to meet her “future daughter-in-law” in the end she gets Talias approval.

OMG IN SO SORRY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE 2 BUT FLIPPED 5 😭😭 I HAVE A PROBLEM IM WORKING ON IT

I don’t know who you are but I’m going to find you and I’m going to give you a fucking hug.

It’s fine I genuinely love all of these and I was thinking of making some small blurbs after they got together and you kinda helped me with some ideas because I want to write all of these.

But I do have an idea for part 5 which was supposed to be the last part to this unexpected series. Like I said I thought about making a some blurbs after I was done.

I may switch 4 up a bit just because with the reader’s backstory of being abandoned/abused by her family and chased out of town doesn’t seem like something that they would ridicule her for.

So if you don’t mind I would love to use these as small drabbles or something like that after I’m done with the main storyline.

[passanima]

tag from foot2rue is gay, here’s the receipt, season 3

1/ gabriel spend time with his girlfriend and guess who’s mad about it? the whole team is upset because he has less time to train now; but the first to react and who feel the strongest about it is still tag

2/ BEN IS BACK (dude tag had a visible crush on in s1) and he’s the only one that looks happy about it and they break away from the rest of the group to talk one on one, ben listening to tag’s problems and offering advices. bonus points because tag doesn’t ask any of his teammates for advices (not his bestie or his girlfriend)

3/ they bond over them both being the captain of their teams, the difficulties in the responsability... and tag reacts a bit too strongly when ben says he has to go home now, asking (sounding way too desperate, boy, come on) him to stay a bit longer. the WHOLE vibe when they were talking alone felt incredibly soft from tag’s side and you could explain it as just nostalgia and being happy to see a friend after a long time... expect they weren’t friends but rivals! and ben clearly doesn’t feel the same way i’m so embarrassed for tag

4/ his BEST FRIEND notice how sullen he’s been in the 2 hours since ben left... this boy is yearning for real

5/ ben replace one of their players in a match but because the rest of the team hates him it goes poorly (hmmm sounds familiar) then they hear a rumor that he’s the one behind tag’s accident and they all get mad at him, not giving him time to explain... expect tag. who refuse to believe it and puts his faith in ben. he was, of course, right about that, but in this situation he had no reason to believe ben (the guy has a really bad reputation) yet didn’t hesitate A SECOND wow... that sure is something

6/ the trutst at least is reciprocal because when tag, in the middle of the match, orders ben to do something, he just nods and do so without the need for an explanation or getting annoyed (like some of the other players) and i didn’t expect it as they’re both captains and so could butthead about who’s in charge and ben having a strong personality... it was nice. THEN ben gives advice on how to play and this time it’s tag who decide to put his pride aside as captain and follow him. you see slight hesitation on his face but he does it anyway. IT’S HUGE idk what to tell you, tag can be really stubborn in his bad decisions and gets mad really fast when things don’t go his way so wow again!

7/ listen... i can’t even explain this one cause you need the visuals but. tag trust ben with an insane move, where ben could easily let go at the worst time and hurt him. and he does so while SMILING. not a once of doubt for this boy in his mind. HIS EX-NEMESIS. there would be no story without weirdly earnest 13 y/o gay boys, i’m emotional over this (and laughing cause it was an incredible visual; it’s at the end of ep 4 ig you’re curious about it)

8/ someone is rude to tag’s gf and he doesn’t react to it, even when she’s visibly upset and leave the room because of this, he just ignores her

9/ gabriel gets an opportunity, education wise, that means he will leave the team at the start of next year. and tag is not doing well. the rest of the team is cheering on gab, while tag exit the scene looking all sad... and emotional music starts playing while he looks on the horizon... next a flashback of their moments together the two of them... and tag cries all alone

it makes sense because they’ve known each other their whole life(?)(or most) and are very close but damn. in comparizon gabriel isn’t at all bothered, due to being more rational (this does not mean they won’t see each other again) and riding the high of such big news. really makes you feel for tag

anyway, back on gay reading; it gives tag another reason to be more heartborken over this compared to gab

10/ HE FEELS SO BAD that he has no motivation to play the tournament and even SAYS SO openly to his teammates, i quote “without gabriel there’s no point”. there have been times when other players were at ricks of leaving the team and while annoyed, tag never reacted this badly to it before

holy shit he’s crying in front of everyone this time... they were trying to comfort him with “people leave sometimes, then they come back” and “you should be happy for him as his bestie” but it had the opposite effect on making tag feel like he’s being a shitty friend and he cannot hold back his tears... everyone is shocked of seeing him like this

11/ wasn’t gonna note this one cause it’s not that serious but then shit kept happening. this ep has tag being sick and he elects jeremy as his replacement (as team captain) which makes everyone go “uuuh” cause jeremy is so not made for the post. he fucks it up, of course, and ends up all alone until tag gets better. the team complains about him and tag is the only one who stays behind him the whole time (a bit like with ben... hmm)(tag sure easily relate to the type of guys who are in constant danger of being rejected). the “not serious” part is that at some point jeremy come to tag about the whole situation and they stare at each other smiling while using language that, in french, sounds very romantic (even if the context isn’t)(jeremy “t’es pas mal” tag “t’es pas mal non plus”)(literal “you’re not bad” context being the sport + social thing BUT the very common use of this phrase means finding someone attractive, and i laughed because... a second later tag is on his knees in front of jeremy, his hands on the boy legs. the body language and double meaning is really intense for a scene that should be just “i got your back” like what am i supposed to do with this?)

12/ jeremy complains about his relationship with samira for 2 seconds and tag first reaction is to shut him up with “that’s none of my buisness” which is weird for him as he’s usually there for his friends and chill about romance talk... well, when he’s not interested in the dude talking about it, that is

#foot 2 rue #I rant about stuff

[terraether]

for the last 6 years ever since the legend of korra series finale aired in which Bryke chastised the audience for watching the show thru “hetero lenses” I have exclusively lived my life and consumed media thru HOMO lenses (has nothing to do with the fact I am gay and enjoy queer media analysis 👀). So, here’s a ranking of the st4 characters according to how difficult it was for me to analyze them thru these “hetero lenses”:

1. Max & Lucas - not at all difficult

These two are the easiest for me to read as not gay. Obviously being in a m/f relationship does not negate queerness altogether but for the sake of mainstream media as big as stranger things, it all but does. I -1/10 relate to them which is how I know, they are hetero, and it takes no effort for me to believe it. I used to read max as queer I guess due to her tomboy attitude but after seeing her in Taylor swift atw video I cannot unsee her as straight idk why this is just my brain

2. Dustin - not at all difficult

Dustin is a straight boy. He could possibly be hc as ace or demi if I think about it, but it takes more effort for me to think about a queer hc than accepting him as straight which is why he ranks this high up. I love 1 (one) straight boy

3. Jonathan - not very difficult

Jargyle is awesome and I love it. But also jonathan has the energy of the difficult alt guy that lands the popular girl and he just is never quite the same without her. They’ll part ways maybe for a while, but in the end he never searched for another love. They find their way back to each other and marry. He says, “I’ve only ever been with you.” It’s said as romantic, it reads a little creepy. She blushes. The end. So yeah outside of his alt boy “I don’t fit in” personality and his possible stoner make out sessions with his 1 true bro argyle it is not hard to see the hetero.

4. Joyce & Hopper - somewhat difficult

I ship jopper so hard BUT! Winona Ryder gives off so much queer lesbian energy that it does take me some time to push aside my gay lenses to accept that Joyce loves men (especially after s1 Joyce’s hair and outfit…). But they are, in the end, believably straight and the gays support them!!

5. Jane / El - pretty difficult

The early seasons she read so queer, I related to her so much. She didn’t understand gender norms and she didn’t look conventionally feminine and she just rocked all these cool outfits and looks and it was a vibe. However, by s4 it is clear to me she is a typical cis teen girl. The only reason she ranks #5 is bc it is pretty difficult for me to believe she is straight. I very strongly hc her as pansexual, she just seems like she has a lot of love to give and that gender would not be a barrier for her feelings (tho society would.)

6. Nancy - pretty difficult

I saw the excitement over ronance on this site after the trailers but I did not get it, Nancy is Straight TM and there was no proof they’d even get along let alone be gfs but Um, these scenes from s4 are making it harder for me to blindly look thru hetero lenses. She’s giving bi energy and it’d be so cute to see her flirt with Robin and be all bashful about it.

7. Steve - difficult

I have read steve as bi since s2? I think? And then when he accepted Robin after she came out I thought hm it’s the perfect opportunity for steve to explore his own sexuality! And s4 just strengthens my beliefs. He can’t get a gf?? Well to me that’s clearly bc he is discovering his interest in men and a gf just isn’t what he wants rn. However, I recently realized that steve has probably become the duffer’s self insert character so I am able to read him as straight and see thru the hetero lenses that his gf troubles probably root in I guess lingering feelings for *cringe* nancy 😩

8. Mike - very difficult

Mike is in the same boat as steve in my eyes. His actions just read gaygaygay panic to me. His interactions with will seem to give a hope to will that could only mean “omg my best friend also has a gay crush on me!!” However because this is a huge heteronormative show I am reluctantly able to see thru the hetero lenses that mike is probably just an idiot boy who is struggling with ~feelings~ and communication with his long distance gf, as well as just missing the closeness of his lifelong best friend. (But then I remember the scenes again and I’m like wait??? No way, it’s gotta all be gay!!)

9. Eddie - very difficult

Eddie to me is a gay man. I am able to put on the hetero lenses since he’s like a super popular handsome male character in this huge show in our wonderfully heteronormative world, which they certainly designed to appeal to the straight female audience (I think?? LOL) but ultimately I do not know enough about him yet to readily conclude that the writers have even made any conclusions about him. Because of this, it’s hard for me to believe he’s straight since it looks likely that he’ll die before any romantic storyline with him is addressed at all. He’s ~~ambiguous~~

10. Will & Robin - impossible

Soooo Robin is canon lesbian and therefore IMPOSSIBLE to see thru hetero lenses !!! Will is also pretty much canon gay man (I say pretty much because he is written and coded with gay storylines but he himself is only now arriving to conclusions about himself so it can only be canon in words once he is able to speak it. However this does not negate the canon fact that he is a gay character and has been this whole time even before he knew it. That’s just how life is for gay ppl sometimes). Will is impossible for me to view through hetero lenses and idk WHAT I’d do if they somehow pulled a reverse bryke, made will hold hands with a girl and then post series finale chastised us all for watched with our “homo lenses” (LOL COULD YOU IMAGINE?!?)

Bonus: Argyle - file not found

He just has that energy of creed from the office telling how he’d get so fucked up in the 70s on drugs that if gay shit happened then gay shit happened and I think that’s beautiful

#just a disclaimer I did not see st4 yet just the gifs and scenes on the internet #also I do half regret making this it took me far too long and is a shit post #but I also love gay analysis soooo here we are #stranger things spoilers #stranger things 4 spoilers #st4 #gay

[feuqueerfire]

Secret Crush On You Live Blogging

I’m prepared for it to be cringey and tropey but also to be very, very queer. I know there are femme gay characters, a genderqueer character, a queer friend group like I hope I love it! 

The first few episodes are apparently kinda rough and full of second hand embarrassment, but hopefully I’ll still like it.

Playlist

Episode 1 (June 8)

1-1

The excitement and hype from the cold open(?)* before the intro is so contagious. *I don’t actually know what these are called because I don’t think cold opens have actually anything to do with the rest of the episode but in Thai shows the part before the intro of an episode does influence the rest of the ep.

Daisy and Som (?) being in sync when speaking is cute

Kongkwan asking if she can play with the girls who fangirl over Nuea and kiss them on the cheek >.< I freaking like it when I get to see people in a show already knowing they’re queer + being out about it like at least Toh (crushing on Nuea), Daisy (kha endings), Kongkwan (flirting with girls) are like that but we’ll see which other characters are also out

lmfao why are Toh and his friend group ‘hiding’ when Nuea passes by aksldfj can’t they just act natural?

People who watched the show: The main character stalks the love interest and also collects garbage he touched. 

Me, watching Toh collect the can from the garbage because Nuea touched it: :0

1-2

No why am I soooo endeared by Toh’s friendgroup already >.< Them teasing each other but literally still helping to gather everything for Toh’s gift to Nuea. Also, Toh and Jao are so nice to each other specially, with Toh being like our friend is hungry! and Jao being like I think your “with care” is nice :)

a;klsdfj Nuea pretending to not see Toh and his friends around his car T.T and he looks so endeared to see Toh hiding behind his car bye

I knew Nuea threw the bag in the garbage because I saw a clip but why exactly? He seemed endeared by them around his car and also saw the friends pretend to be “stones” beside the garbage so why?

Toh’s friends trying to cheer him up, so cute

alsdjf this dramatic sadness while they recite the rules of having a secret crush reminds me of Third’s antics

1-3

People who the watch series: The obsessed stalker keeps some tangerines in a baggy

Me, watching the obsessed stalker keep some tangerines in a baggy: D:

Toh’s whole room is a shrine of Nuea I’m crying. Why am I so endeared while watching him sit on his bed with Nuea bedsheets and turn on the projector to project a big picture of Nuea on his wall to watch the live with Kongkwan and Nuea? 

Omg? This saucy imagining Nuea scene? Surprised by how sensual and good it is, I didn’t have to fast forwarding

Ooh, okay I wanna see how Toh’ll act when he thinks Nuea likes someone/has a gf

yay, the gifset I reblogged when the episode first came out of Sky being like “why do you call all of us Ai’Name but call Fon nicely?” Also, I wish I knew what is meant by nicely... Is she using a different title before it? I hear a Mi before Fon, is that a thing?

Why are Toh and friends so bad at this stalking thing lmfao their “hiding” is useless. I wanna know what Nuea’s thinking right now because he must know this group keeps following him around and collects his garbage

1-4

“What’s with him?” asks Sky after he himself was being kinda weird to Jao.

lmfao the Saint cameo

lkasdf the way I too am excited that Nuea asked for Toh specifically to photograph his sister’s birthday 

Was it Daisy who said “I’m a girl, I can’t hold him up!”

Each time I see Toh’s bedroom, I’m more in disbelief.

I guess Toh = table and that’s why he sent that photo?

Toh fumbled the start of the conversation a bit but he was pretty normal during the actual conversation with Nuea via phone even dealt with the “Do you like me?” question well bc where did that even come from lol. I wonder how it’ll be during face to face.

I'm surprised by how endearing I find the friend group already lol They're supportive and funny! Also very queer! The way knowing Khai's an asshole for the first half but grows made my watch of Theory of Love more enjoyable, I think knowing that this show is over the top and involves some garbage collecting helped me enjoy it more instead of just being creeped out.

Episode 2 (June 8)

2-1

Toh is pretty good at being normal about Nuea lol

Naurrr not the immediate cattiness between the girl who’s with Nuea and Toh T.T Are we supposed to find her ridiculous for Needing those false eyelashes when Toh and his gang have been even more ridiculous this whole time :/

lakdsfj Nuea noticed Toh’s finger injury. Bro I am actually in Toh’s friend group now, I’m so excited for him

The antagonism between SkyJao is cute

The sister getting Nuea and Toh to take photos together?!

It’s actually interesting how I feel about NueaToh interactions because I am Not a fan of this random wrist grabbing and I was like >:/ when Nuea did it but then he showed concern for Toh’s tiny inconsequential injury, which I would also find overbearing, but I’m so excited for Toh lol

lmfao watching Toh with that cup of water is so strange

2-2

Toh and Jao are so cute together! 

I think this episode is more embarrassing than the first one because it’s Toh embarrassing himself in front of Nuea and his friends rather than just being weird privately/with his own friends.

Dang we fr get another kiss scene and it’s even in real life this time. 

Gosh, so embarrassing T.T Toh just unfasten your seatbelt and get out

2-3

No why did Nuea pull Toh’s seatbelt like that kjsdaf

So they didn’t actually touch lips when kissing.

I liked it more when Sky and Jao were antagonistic cuz now Sky just intimidated Jao into getting in the car despite Jao being uncomfortable and saying no :/ hope they change it up a little soon

“ I find it's pretty telling how everyone is "mad" at Toh's  stalkerish behavior (and I'm not saying it isn't problematic and the show pretty much makes it clear) but are so in love with Jao's and Sky story where it's pretty clear Jao is uncomfortable but Sky makes him get in the car anyway. It really shows what kind of actions our society deems acceptable and done by whom. The one who follows the classic romance trope even if problematic gets a pass always. After all it's the "masculine" man doing the pursuing and being forceful. “ -  NaFran49 Under the YT video and I agreeeee, interesting observation about fan reactions, especially considering Nuea seems to know about and be fine with Toh’s behaviour while Jao protests.

2-4

lmfao Toh escaping his friends to take Nuea’s call but ending up in Nuea’s sights. 

mans literally squeezed the hell outta some bush lol cute

Nuea finds Toh endearing as hell

lmfao Toh seriously forgot he’s got a whole ass shrine and collection of Nuea in his dorm

More than a Nuea liker, Toh is a Nuea collector lmfao

Episode 3 (June 9)

3-1

So awkward T.T Gotta just keep remembering Nuea doesn’t seem to mind

Toh is literally dying I think

lmfao not only does Nuea not mind, he finds Toh endearing and also is planning that man’s downfall because what the hell is “let me take my shirt off for a bit

3-2

a nosebleed lmfao

3-3

nooo I just saw Prao in the crowds too 

how many imaginary or almost kisses are we gonna get lmao they really said 1 per episode thus far

T.T nooo Toh leaving after seeing Prao :< I know Nuea’s singing it for you, I know it

Prao’s actress plays her really well lmfao the perfect bitchy and floundering vibes

Noo Toh talking down to himself :( All the while Nuea’s looking for him

omgggg Nuea and his friendgroup also have a nickname for Toh “Van Gogh” and mans has a Van Gogh phonecase which he is “interested in” :0 Maybe... Nuea is just a subtler, more well-adjusted version of Toh like Toh straight up has a photo of Nuea in his phone case whereas Nuea’s like I will use a Van Gogh art phone case because it represents Toh, which nobody but my friends know

Aak Nuea being like I smile at Toh, he’s the one who says “Shit” every time we meet alksfdjasdlk;fjsdkl;fj 

3-4

Nuea using every excuse to see Toh. Nuea upset that Toh says “Shit” every time he sees him and that Toh left the event Nuea invited him to early. Nuea giving Toh all those roses in a roundabout way that makes Toh cry because I guess he’s hit with the fact that Nuea has an endless number of admirers.

Episode 4 (June 9/10)

4-1

Jao is so cute!

Toh and friends scheming to get closer to Nuea and Nuea doing literally everything in his power to get Toh closer to him, they are sooooo 

4-2

ooh slightly jealous Nuea

I wonder when the stalking thing will dwindle. Jao’s been telling Toh to stop it for a while but he continues on lol

fucking crying, Toh getting his fucking little baggie with drops of the drink Nuea gave him being taken away, Nuea coming up behind Toh and so Toh accidentally calling him “Shit!” again, Nuea giving him a noogie because he’s a ~naughty kid~, Toh saying “what punishment should a naughty kid get” and biting Nuea’s arm in a daze, Kongkwan my love going “Nuea you must bite him back”, so Nuea fucking biting Toh’s neck laksdfj T.T The Events just keep coming and they don’t stop coming fr

The “little Sky” joke followed by Nuea saying he hasn’t washed his hands ?!

I wish Jao’s friends and Sky weren’t so insistent whenever Jao’s hesitant to do something :<

I was -_- about Sky for a bit there but now I’m back to liking SkyJao. The way Sky knew Jao was sick + the neck sniff kisses >.<

4-3

lmfao Toh’s drunk ass falling into Nuea’s arms 

Jao’s little smiles whenever he turns away from Sky >.<

Not Sky waiting outside Jao’s apartment in case Sky calls him sick ?!

omg?! Nuea and Toh slept in the same bed and Nuea was freaking shirtless? 

Not Toh feeling whatever bottoms he’s got on and also saying ‘doesn’t hurt’ in Thai I think even though it’s not subbed ?!

Toh’s killing me but also Nuea’s fucked up too cuz mans is awake and even pulled his blanket down a little to show Toh more of his torso

no way Toh wants to pull down the blankets even more lkjsdl;kjafd stop ittttt

Toh whispering to Nuea thinking he’s asleep but mans is awakeeee killing me fr 

this stupid cf in the middle ?! okay it’s fine, the production on this must’ve cost a lot

Nuea’s suchhh a trickster, I like him

I just skipped over the leg hurting scene, I can’t 

genuinely what is happening, Nuea playing around with Toh is gonna kill me they’re for real perfect for each other the same way My Beautiful Man Kiyoi and Hira are lmfao

I can’t anymore, I’ll watch the rest in the morning

4-4

nooo not Toh being sad as hell that Nuea likes Nong Van Gogh when that’s Nuea’s code name for him!

Aw, Toh thinking of what he’d say to Nuea but not being brave enough to actually say it 

rip Nuea confused as hell

Episode 5 (June 10/11)

Been a busy with a driving lesson + long ass time working on a school project, so here’s to watching!

5-1

Nuea’s so lksdfj Mans inviting Toh to get food by themselves, asking if he can go to the trip with Toh’s friends, trying to convince Toh by putting his hand on Toh’s. He plays too much, just confess! You knowwww he likes you

Naurr the way Sky and Jao are so cute, esp because they’ve somehow succeeded in making Sky sliiiightly sleezy but still it’s cute cuz he doesn’t go too far and Jao remains smiley

bro the way we barely get any Fon and KongKwan moments and this first one since ep 1 doesn’t even have Fon lmfao just Som saying Fon’s in KongKwan’s heart 

Cute ass car ride 

Aak, Nuea going to tie his Toh’s hair all cute but that means sitting Toh is face-to-face with a standing Nuea’s dick and it actually almost killing Toh T.T

Omg Toh’s sudden bravery? “I like someone too!” and “Do you like me?” like damn. + Nuea said yeah. I hope next part is really an admission and they discuss it and not a misdirect

5-2

noo when will we get the scene where they discuss Nuea liking Toh/them liking each other

lmfao not Nuea coming in to break up crushes from sleeping in the same room except himself and Toh

Nuea is so klajdf mans is having fun manipulating and playing Toh knowing full well he’s boutta have a heart attack and die

Nevermind, Sky’s back to doing too much when Jao’s uncomfortable like Toh even snuck Jao the money to forfeit so why’s Sky advancing on him like this. It’s not like when Jao’s kinda shy but still smiley, this time he seemed upset and I was upset for him too

5-3

Nuea asking Toh if he wants to fold and if he’s sure, so true

Aww, Toh shellshocked and Nuea kinda confused/hurt by Toh’s lack of reaction and ? maybe he interpreted it as disinterest like why tf is this guy going away to take pics now

nooo Toh’s “it’s okay, it was just a game” and Nuea’s watery eyes T.T omg

Bro I’m so confused, I wanna go back to that convo at the end of 5-1. So Nuea said “pretend you kissed the person you like” so they haven’t yet discussed that Toh likes Nuea but it was discussed that Nuea likes Toh, right? In which case, I don’t get it why didn’t Toh say I like you back? Is it because he thinks Nuea also likes this Van Gogh character?

The whiplash of the kinda </3 scene followed by Nuea’s absolute insanity 

Toh pretending to be asleep to get closer to Nuea and Nuea also getting even closer while pretending to asleep and Toh moving away because he can’t handle it is so alkdjf

5-4

Noo the Jao body image issues storyline is starting already </3 I’m looking forward to it but also dreading fr

omg, I didn’t expect it to be serious enough for Jao to straight up walk into the ocean :0

Oh nvm lmfao the tone shifts of this show are just wild

lasjdflk The massage as a sexual innuendo + Toh getting hard from it lmfao

Aak, Sky and Nuea’s gross bro talk involving lots of dick talk

I’m realizing maybe the 5-1 “Do you like me?” “Yeah. I do” thing could be seen in like a platonic, fun way

Episode 6 (June 11)

6-1

Sky’s “I know you can take care of yourself but I wanna take care of you” is kinda cute actually

Nuea being slutty: “Or you’ve never showered with a friend before?” Bro they are both so obvious how can the word friend still come up T.T

[sound of Nuea's shirt rustles as he takes it off] deadddd lmfao how many times has Nuea stripped in front of Toh, my guy take a hinttt

asdklf followed by Toh giving us the audience a show but falling asleep before he can do the same to Nuea THEY’RE BOTH SUCH WEIRDOS T.T perfect for each other fr

lol his friends trying to bully Toh into giving back Nuea’s toothbrush and Toh’s collecting. + them trying to dissuade Nuea from coming to Toh’s room which is also filled with Nuea stuff

 okayy the friends are starting to put more emphasis on having Toh stop collecting

Nuea kissing Toh’s cheek!

6-2

The tally of Nuea taking his shirt of in front of Toh is seriously through the roof by now

The fact that soo much physical stuff has happened so far for no reason that Nuea shirtless and picking up Toh -> dropping him on the bed and looming over him -> kiss on the lips is just... brushed over lmfao like what is this sequence of events without any shock or relationship development around it dkslafj

ahh is Toh for real confessing and we’re about to have a “we like each other” conversation or is it gonna end up like Nuea’s confession in 5-1 that doesn’t lead anywhere or is it not even a confession cuz it doesn’t seem like Toh’s say “it’s you” but rather “you...” and he’s gonna say smth about Nuea that’s unrelated to admitting

6-3

lmfao yeah k Toh’s like “you, who do you like?” 

Bro Nuea looks at Toh sooo softly and sincerely I could cry

bi Nuea so true

lmfao we fr just didn’t get their confessions. Instead now Nuea thinks Toh likes Red and Toh thinks Nuea like Van Gogh alkdsfj their own secret names my guysss

no way Toh took off his glasses and thought somebody else was Nuea, I wanna aklsfj

dead dead dead Nuea thinks Toh likes Intouch, why does Toh not correct him instead of just smiling lkajdf

>:( Prao and friends are bitchy but I don’t like the slut shaming, esp when like half of Toh and Nuea’s friend groups also love dressing slutty

Oh I see, a self burn.

6-4

Woahh Nuea not letting Prao sleep in his room and saying he doesn’t want the person he likes to misunderstand is so lkajdf good because characters never fucking do that and it gets them in trouble for no reason

kinda feel bad for Prao but I’m glad Nuea’s honest and straightforward with her

Poor Toh T.T Getting all hurt over his own dang self

The way they’ve kissed made out, been half-naked, slept in the same bed and all of that multiple times and yet they think each other another person is laughable

Episode 7 (June 11)

7-1

Yo I’m dead who are the random people listening in on Nuea and Toh’s convo?

Sky saying his flirting with Jao isn’t based on how looks feels so backhanded in that situation T.T 

Toh diving toward Nuea’s lap to check whether Nuea’s okay after he accidentally hit Nuea’s nether regions is killing me

7-2

Nuea being slightly jealous of Intouch is cute but bossing Toh around is not :/

The fact that Toh’s seen in the background talking to the aunties and taking drinking the liquour while the group is discussing what to do with the liquor is so smart and fun

Not Toh kissing Prao?!

7-3

Toh and Nuea’s little pretend game of “this is tutoring, I’m teaching you to kiss” schtick so that they can keep kissing is so kladfjs cute ass kisses

lmfao Intouch just getting daggers glared at him from Nuea and Sky. Why does Sky hate him though, there’s no reason to think Intouch is hitting on Jao or that Jao likes him, unlike Nuea who thinks Toh likes Intouch. Anyway, I wonder if Touch is deliberately talking to the group to piss of Nuea and Sky even more 

Intouch seriously so cute and attractive, to me the most beautiful of the cast (aside from Fon and Kongkwan)

Nuea get your shit together and confess and stop freaking trying to control Toh around Intouch

Bro the shower scene, Toh/Nuea are so intimate with each other even though it’s all framed in a funny/cringey way thus far

7-4

the little satisfied sounds Toh keeps making as he lays next to Nuea ksdljf

WHERE IS NUEA’S HAND GOING O.O 

freaking love a handjob scene

Toh’s “Is this real or am I dreaming?” T.T

FOLLOWED BY NUEA’S “DID YOU HAVE A DREAM LIKE THIS BEFORE?” AKLSDFJAKLSDFJ

lmfao Touch doing the most because he knows Nuea’s watching his and Toh’s interaction

Toh’s shivering oh my gosh

The way Nuea’s kissing and teasing Toh while fucking asking who he likes is killing me 

askldfjasf they finally admitted it !!!

Every episode it’s Nuea’s shirtless and also Toh/Nuea kiss. They’ve been more physically involved in the first half of the serious without even confessing that most BL couples even after getting together.

Anyway, do I watch the next episode now a;lsdjf Maybe I’ll try to find gifsets of the last few episodes because I haven’t been doing that lol

Episode 8 (June 12)

Umm I’ll just watch part 1 and go to sleep

8-1

Omg clear communication and confessions? In my Toh/Nuea scene? 

Giddy Toh so cute

Yeah Toh named Nuea Red because he sees him as auspicious and sacred but Nuea’s fucking over the moon being seen as sacred by Toh. They’re both freaking perfect for each other 

omgg Toh still focused on collecting T.T At least the friends are trying to have a proper intervention

Bro this part made me giddy lmfao so cute. Time to sleep but thoroughly enjoyed that

8-2

laksdfj not Daisy’s “I’m a lady, how can I go in the bush?” and Som’s “Okay, dear lady, go to the men’s washroom.” What is Thailand’s stance on bathrooms and genderqueer people? Also, Daisy so far has referred to self as ‘lady’ a few times and uses -kha endings but people have said Daisy is nonbinary, so will we get to explore more of Daisy’s gender identity and exploration soon, I really hope so.

Daisy and Intouch cute >.<

naurrrr Daisy T.T At least Intouch didn’t point out Daisy’s wet pants T.T

Nuea and Toh are so cute now that they actually talk

T.T Toh talking about how he takes photos to keep the memories because nothing lasts forever </3 Somehow such a sweet reason behind all the stalking lol

aak, Nuea teasing and prodding about the photos Toh’s taken while following him around >.< bruh Nuea knows all about it, asking if these photos are the reason Toh won’t let him go to his room... followed by more teasing whether Toh jerks off looking at those pics lkasdf I would love a masturbation scene/allusion actually the only other BLs I’ve seen it are Don’t Say No and Utsukushii Kare I think

T.T Toh in wonder being like “Will we have an anniversary?” My guyyyy I’m gonna squish you 

8-3

I hope this is the end of Prao trying to get with Nuea but since there are 6 episodes left, I doubt it. I’m glad Nuea’s straight forward with her and I want her to get some self-respect because why does she keep throwing herself at him despite being rejected so many times

I’m glad Toh isn’t trying to break off whatever rocky friendship Nuea and Prao have and that he says he trust Nuea, even though he does get a bit worried

Oh, I thought Nuea was gonna drop off Prao and Toh was gonna go home by himself but I guess Nuea’s supposed to come back and eat with Toh?

They make my heart so achy, Nuea being cute to get Toh to forgive him, Toh being all earnest “I trust you P’Nuea but one day if you do want to leave, I hope you tell me properly and honestly” and that he’ll let him go and Nuea getting sulky and all wide eyed and pouty and physically flicking Toh’s mouth being like “how can you say that when we’ve just started dating?” 

Naurr T.T Nuea telling Toh to be more possessive/protective of him instead of just being like “okay, goodbye if you want to break up” 

8-4

oh yeahh I remember people dying over the “I’m not ready yet... Friday should be fine!” about sex

They’re discussing sex so frankly which is good but I’m literally so embarrassed 

Aww cute Jao. He’s got a little Sky collection as well lol

I think the show is doing a really interesting job of showing how Toh’s insecurities manifest: him being okay with looking at Nuea from afar because he thought he had no chance, the constant photos and collecting because he thinks it will all end and he wants to keep memories, being unable to see just how much Nuea wants him despite the man constantly throwing himself at Toh, him having already accepted that Nuea will want to break up with him someday T.T 

I freaking like that Nuea and Toh are both strange but perfect for each other. Toh stalking Nuea and collecting his things and seeing him as kind of a fantasy and Nuea being so fucking flattered: Oh? You named me Red because you see me as sacred? Also, I could see you following me around to take photos you know. Not to mention Nuea being fucking horny and Toh being :D Friday works! about it. But also, they’re so cute with each other and trusting each other (esp Toh -> Nuea) and giving reassurances when needed (esp Nuea -> Toh). 

Episode 9 (June 12)

9-1

No Jao’s right! You can cancel your plan to have sex! Don’t listen to Som, it’s not too late! 

omg Toh thinking of the possibility of topping Nuea, so true, exactly, because I decided to read a SCOY fic yesterday and it had bottom Nuea and I was like so true. Daisy don’t make fun of Tohhhh I think both Toh and Nuea would be up for it

ljdfs not the helicopter position ?! moaning practice ?!

Toh’s fantasy land is so asldkfj 

Genuinely cannot believe they managed to film these because I can’t even watch without laughing 

Aw, Toh kissing Nuea’s cheek. 

Wait, it’s the weekend already? What about their Friday appointment? That little segment was Toh’s fantasy right it’s not what actually happened so ??? I guess they just didn’t show it but I would’ve liked to see how they deal with it, esp since Toh was nervous about it. Or maybe that previous scene was a mix of Toh’s fantasy and reality? I have such a hard time with this show lol. + Toh’s saying they didn’t get to the condom needing stage last night

Aw Jao :(

9-2

The starting card is Fon and KongKwan, are we finaaalllyyy getting them?

Daisy don’t put insecurities into Toh’s head kajdsf Intouch is here, go make him fall for you instead

oof Toh drinking again, hope he doesn’t go around kissing Prao again lol

agh I hate that they entered the creep just to have Nuea save him, better to just not have the rapey moment just to show us how cool Nuea is for 1 second

Oi, Touch being kinda flirty to Daisy >.< 

Drunk Toh cuddle monster

9-3

I kinda don’t care about Sky and Jao lol rip I keep wondering when their scenes will end. Like they’re cuteeee but I just kinda dc

omg Toh’s deep rooted insecurities coming out while drunk rip “A beautiful person and a handsome one, perfect match. I’m just an extra.” Whole time said handsome one is his boyfrienddd

and then becoming so bold ?! omg. lakjdf not him calling Nuea wifey + Nuea freaking liking it. If we’re going by the ancient bottom = wifey in thai bl rules, i really do wanna see the show allude to bottom nuea at least once the way bad buddy did c’monnn

9-4

aak, Toh’s fake drunkness

aak Fon and KongKwan were supposed to be them tonight kajldsf me and you~

Intouch sooo freaking charmed by Daisy, he keeps smiling wide and pretty T.T “Then... being as gorgeous and adept as you are, do you have a boyfriend?” alksdfjasldkf Also, Intouch is using -kha particles for himself too and I wish I understood Thai enough to know what this signifies 

aak, both Daisy and Intouch being like :D :D and Daisy even doing the ‘i like you’ hand sign when Intouch can’t see

Nuea: “You can be my husband, if you want to take the role” Screaming, crying, pulling my hair out

NOT THEM PLAYING WITH LEADING DYNAMICS RN ?! 

actually, strict top/bottom roles are fun to read about/watch when it’s like this: both parties actively want to be the position they are. I don’t think I’ve seen another BL where they experiment (and we get to see it) and then are like hmm actually this is not for me. They hardly ever try to switch/experiment anyway. I do wish Nuea wasn’t set on being kinda stiff through the beginning of it though.

This show seriously just keeps giving me things I rarely or never see in BLs. The genderqueer character getting a romantic storyline and isn’t played up for laughs (when we laugh, we’re laughing With Daisy). The couple trying to experiment with their ~positions~ and deciding they’re not feeling it. The way all the kids in the main friend group seem to have self-confidence issues (Toh convinced he’s a side character, Jao with his body image issues, Daisy is flamboyant and self-assured but when it actually comes down to it isn’t actually very confident “Who? Me? How can I have a boyfriend?) and in other stories they’d be the comedy gags or villains or punching bags but here, they’re the focus of the show and whenever we laugh, we’re supposed to laugh With them.

Episode 10 (June 12)

10-1

omg they fucking ripped the condom packet with their teeth as a team? omg an an actual opened condom, usually we usually just glimpse at at the plastic wrapping

their breaths are too heavy, i’m like do i fast forward?

omg Toh naked in bed with Nuea, waking up from a post-coital nap and thinking about how it all started T.T 

bro this scene is too romantic “believe me with utmost certainty” “i love you and that’ll never change” idk why i’m like oh no i feel angsty coming

Aw, sweet Jao

Ooh, they’re actually trying to do something about Toh’s collecting now

Aak, Nuea struggling to stay sulky when a smile keeps trying to come out is so cute

lmfao not Toh turning it on Nuea and then the sassy stare + wink at the camera

10-2

lmfao this 1 + 1 = 2 is really giving so much wisdom in these relationships

>:( Why are Sky’s friends like this? I was enjoying the Sky/Jao interactions but the fact that Sky brought Jao to this knowing how his friends are is making me annoyed. Actually hmm are they talking about how usually he’d bring hot girls (new one every time) that he’s clearly courting each time but this time it’s a guy and they’re like oh? and didn’t consider that he’s courting Jao?

Wait no I hate them fr

Maybe they’re being weird about Jao in a mean way + also shocked player Sky wants to settle down 

Sky/Jao were like 70% cute and 30% annoying/boring

10-3

Not this scene aklsdfj I saw a random clip of Toh throwing a tantrum in public and literally was so embarrassed and now it’s here

Why is he being so childish suddenly. There’s being weird or shy or embarrassing but doing this in public is so fucking yikes

Nuea’s fucking face when his “He’s my faen” is cut off by Toh declaring himself as just Nuea’s faculty junior... T.T

omggg the allusion to blowjob was from here

omg Nuea saying he collected a button from his date with Nuea reminds me of Not Me, which is where I first learned of the taking button during sex trope

I wish the camera shots between Toh’s friends and Nuea’s teammates were shot better because it doesn’t flow well.

Bro apparently I saw so many random scenes from this part, like Daisy accidentally making the jacking off motion

the random basketball/soccer/rugby games are always so damn boring

10-4

1 second of KongKwan/Fon and I’m gone. When will GAP be released alkjdf “You’re not meant to say that in front of other people. That’s just for us” kalsdfjl

You know I’ve been thinking that the cast is full of great actors but Nuea at 1 min in while KongKwan are having their moment really made me realize because he’s like... dynamic in that moment? Even though the focus isn’t on him. The casually looking at glass, slight eyebrow raise, nods, etc. Like, the characters do well when they’re the main character in a scene but also they’re still really natural when the focus isn’t on them. Makes them feel real. 

I think Nuea would be an exhibitionist. I know he means something else when he says “Should we do it here?” and is just teasing Toh but I do think he’d be an exhibitionist

a Smile from Intouch to Daisy T.T Want more of them

Aak, Fon jokingly acting like she’ll beat up Toh for winning because KongKwan pouting 

I really like the friend group’s interactions here, it feels very natural and comfortable, I wonder if they were allowed to kinda just go with the flow and hit some specific beats or what because it feels so natural.

wait I freaking like it when Jao gives a shit about and also teases Sky 

Aak, Toh taking photos of Sky/Jao to return the favour for all the times Jao tooks photos of him with Nuea >.< 

Nuea all “won’t Jao be mad” and Toh spilling it all T.T

Also, I’m not a general fan of the “dragging via wrist + caging against wall” trope but the way Nuea has Toh pinned to the wall via wrist is T.T 

10-4 is seriously sooo good. Just like episode 8 is my favourite episode thus far, 10-4 is my favourite part thus far.

This show is too explicit to watch in public, so I’m sad I won’t be able to watch an episode tomorrow except maybe late at night after I come home :(

Episode 11 (June 13)

I’m technically not supposed to be watching this but I don’t wanna do schoolwork, so I’m just hoping nobody looks at my screen or that I can fast forward through any risque scenes.

11-1

Aw, Toh still looks like himself after the makeover, maybe like 10% cooler but that’s so endearing like you’re cute as you areeee 

Nuea be happy for him and nice to him or I’ll stab you

Kongkwan and Fon “our couple” so trueeee

Touch texted Daisyyyyy I need another scene with them pleaseeee

rip Som, where’s Tor?

Okay Toh and Nuea are freaking cute as usual, so nobody’s getting stabbed. I freaking like it when we get to explore Toh’s insecurities and Nuea soothes them. Would love to have a few scenes the other way around too.

11-2

Okay I’m hoping it’s a misdirect and Nuea’s dad is actually supportive. I think I read somewhere that they have supportive parents.

But why can’t the girls who are interested in Nuea ever be nice? Why can’t girls near Nuea who aren’t his sister or gay (Fon/ KongKwan) just be friends with him?

lol is the mom teasing them by pretending she doesn’t know Toh and Nuea are dating? making me nervous 

lmfao not the wedding fantasy 

11-3

noo I was so proud of Toh saying he’s Nuea’s faen but then in the next second he says he’d break up with Nuea if the dad asked T.T

Aak, so cute when everybody starts looking at their table (Toh in Thai) and so Toh gets on the chair >.<

Yay, I’m glad the parents are nice

Okay, I’m back home ^.^ Time to watch more hehe

O.O Seeing Daisy using khab particles and being like call me Day is startling. I heard something about a gender crisis, so maybe this is it T.T

11-4

lmfao I’m the prof looking this way and that like “girl wtf is going on why are Nuea and Toh being Freaks in public” 

not the clapping ?! from classmates. So embarrassing but made less so because they’re both on the same wavelength who love all this cringey, embarrassing, public shit

hate that Daisy trying to act ~guy~ is also me when I’m trying to imitate guys I see T.T gender amirite 

crying T.T

gender crisis, being ashamed, having supportive friends bro i’m fucking T.T 

Som and Daisy’s actors did so well here

Also, I wish they showed us the Daisy/Intouch scene they referenced

Bruh, let me at least come down emotionally from Daisy’s emotional journey before throwing a cyber bullying curveball at us 

cyberbullying AND Nuea doesn’t call Toh to reassure him? It makes sense if Nuea doesn’t pay the post any mind but I think it’s out of character if he doesn’t reassure Toh in some way. Nuea’s unlikely to give a fuck because he likes Toh and wants everyone to know and doesn’t care what they think but he also knows how insecure Toh can get and this will surely take a toll on him. I don’t want them to warp Nuea’s character for some cheap angst

This table is freaking filled with insecure dolls :<

Episode 12 (June 13)

12-1

Som is freaking bold

Okay, Nuea’s being cute to Toh and is taking him to the special bench away from mean people, so I’ll have faith in him

everybody ever taking out their phones because Nuea’s making Toh wipe his sweat, alright

not the Pat Pran type thing lksadf Nuea pulling his shirt over Toh’s head but in publiccc aklsdfj and Toh actually enjoys it i’m crying

Nuea and Toh are freaking cute man

alksf not Nuea letting Toh keep his towel. I wonder when he’ll find the collection and how much he knows about it already

12-2

Are we gonna have a misunderstanding of Sky’s “I don’t wanna look at it?” when it’s probably like “I don’t wanna look at it because Jao didn’t consent to everyone seeing it” rather than “ew my boyfriend was fat”

Once again, power of friendship

My reasoning was cuter than “the outfit was too revealing” by the way

12-3

Toh/Nuea fucking kill me “I have to accept the fact that I’m ugly. Still, I get to be P’Nuea’s lover and he’s head over heels for me even though I’m an ugly duckling” and Nuea calling Toh mischevious/cheeky like thrice in a minute >.<

alskdfj Toh’s fantasy of younger Nuea calling him Phi and wanting to be taught by him

lmfao finally First (Kaeng in Y Destiny) shows up

lol are Som and Daisy the mysterious T sending Jao the flowers

12-4

Oh yeah, why did Toh tell Kong he’s meeting his uncle T.T

Nuea lmfao let Kong the poor boy (who seems to have evil intent lmfao) live. The possessiveness and jealousy from the get-go lol ? Though I do get being annoyed that this guy is busting their date. The minute head shakes Nuea kept giving Toh, which Toh fully ignored lol

lmfao nah fr who is tryna woo someone (Jao) who’s already in a relationship? Poor Sky looks Distraught. Did they send Kong to get in between Nuea and Toh too?

KongKwan is seriously so cute, I wish there was more of her

The show’s coming to an end, so I guess we just keep getting his with conflict after conflict </3 I hope it’s wrapped up soon and then it’s just happiness

Episode 13 (June 14)

13-1

I don’t care about Sky and Jao much, so I’m just skipping their kissing and undressing moments but I did glimpse that Jao’s pretty bold, which I like.

Kong’s antics are so freaking laksdfj  

I wish they explored more about Daisy, like how come they’re still going by Day?

oof, I wish Toh just cut Kong off with the “You were rude to my friend, so no” because now we’ll just have more drama

oii Nuea straight up saying he likes Toh, not what looks like Toh

13-2

Dang, Kong’s a dick which I knew because I’d been spoiled. 

Omg saying Ai’Som instead of P’Som O.O The subs translated it to “Som, you idiot” since they’re not doing titles. I wish the subs used the honorifics/titles/particles like P’/Ai’ and -kha/-khab 

asdfgh the way my and nuea’s smiles were the same when toh kissed his cheek

Nuea/Toh freaking cute as always

aak, i’m so nervous that nuea’s boutta find the collection

13-3

lkajdsf “Surprise, P’Nuea!”

Naurrr, he almost got away with it until he knocked over the box ?! 

“Should one day we part ways, I’ll still have these items with me” Like, the way this stalker still is somehow still arrow straight to the heart is truly a lot

Not Nuea crying laksdfjlkajdsfj;sadkfjasf T.T Him insecure that Toh keeps thinking about breaking up all the time T.T

Them ugly crying and exposing their vulnerabilities all the while Toh’s clutching the can from the garbage bin 

Aw, Nuea telling him the photowall shouldn’t be just him but photos of Nuea and Toh together

Here’s the thing, I wish Nuea didn’t have a normal reaction like “You’re an oddball, this is so tiny.” No because actually it’s really fucking weird. To combat that, I wish he had a freaky reaction to it as well like being really turned on by the fact that Toh collects his stuff and being flattered and so then, they’d just be perfect freaks for each other.

I mean, at least it’s just the condom box and not the used condom itself.

lmfao Jao, cute

Idk why I get so bored of Sky/Jao. The nsfw scene looked good but I was like alright and skipping.

Anyway, Nuea and Toh were freaking cute and honest and vulnerable and communicative and so good here

13-4

Wait... Intouch is here too? Girl, when tf will we get more Daisy/Touch

the wife/husband son-in-law/daughter-in-law thing is kinda annoying. reminds me of TharnType a bit where Type’s dad was like I’ll be okay if Type’s the husband and Tharn’s the wife/daughter in law. 

Nuea/Toh really cannot live without just letting everything be public

1 single second of Intouch/Daisy is better than none I guess

The mom is Thun’s mom from He’s Coming To Me and also from The Gifted: Graduation

asdlkfj Toh’s dad like why the hell are all these people here

aklsdfj lmfao I was talking about how they’d die without PDA but then Nuea making Toh let go of his hand because of Toh’s dad lol

Episode 14 (June 14/15)

14-1

I’m pretty sure the father will actually turn out to be nice but it’s so nerve-wracking still

lol the mom is always so supportive, both here and HCTM

I touch most beautiful smile ever

Aak, finally some Daisy/Intouch but I do wish the relationship and Daisy’s gender crisis was given more time

not Toh wanting ~tutoring~ at his parents’ house asdfg

there’s no way they had sex or any extraneous activity more than the making out, so whyyy is Toh asking Nuea why his body aches i’m dead your parents are right thereeee

ooh they referenced a horror thing the mom was in in the 90s

not them all “sneaking” to hear Nuea and the father’s conversation

his dad said: Next time, get a room!

aww Nuea freaking baring his soul to get the father’s approval. Whole time, dad’s like Nuea too handsome

alskdja Toh’s mother’s phone wallpaper is a pic of Nuea/Toh with Toh cropped out to get center Nuea’s gave im dead

I’m dead his mom loves good looking people and so has a slight thing for her son’s boyfriend, omg flashbacks to HCTM once again

14-2

Nuea helping Toh turn his Nuea collection to memories of Toh and Nuea together

Nuea laughing is so cute actually

The mother and father’s advice is so good actually and it’s interesting that the mom mentioned things the characters actually do

Sky and Jao are actually cute this time

14-3

I think I’ll just mention again how much I like that the characters seem physically comfortable with each other like Nuea being like reward? *puffs out cheek* and Toh easily giving him kisses. I think the way some other dramas have the characters act scandalized in these scenarios is very irritating

Sky and Jao continue to be cute, I’m glad at least I’m ending the show on a good note with them

Nuea/Toh cute as always

14-4

only 10 mins left of the episode </3

bruh this body kissing is one of the only nsfw scenes in the show that made my heart clench

what is Toh all horny begging for right now? To give Nuea a blowjob? To top Nuea? I don’t think it’s a bj because Toh says “I wanna give it a try” and they’ve already done that? 

omg they really did hint it’s about top Toh and bottom Nuea, so true. My wish for canon bottom Nuea has been fulfilled in my mind

T.T Nuea making this room thing full of all of Toh’s memories of him T.T and also some of their memories together T.T

I can’t believe it’s fucking over. I dragged the last episode over so long (and like nothing really happened except mushiness so dragging it was fine) and it was like 75 minutes long but still like dang, it’s fr over.

It’s a ridiculous show but it’s intentional about it.

The actors were freaking good. I don’t know how they managed to play these characters without breaking character to laugh every 3 seconds but kudos to them. They really embodied the characters and I didn’t really have moments where I thought the characters were too stilted or not emoting properly. 

The story had a lot of heart, full of earnestness. I liked how it had like... so little conflict to be honest. It’s all about liking one another and supporting one another (even though... sometimes it’s enabling bad behaviour lmfao) and understanding one another and having fun.

Power of friendship! Power of queer friendship! Toh, Jao, Daisy, Som are soooo good!! The way they were always there for each other and teased each other and believed in each other T.T Flawed and insecure people who still loved and were loved T.T Nuea’s friends were great too.

The characters freaking liked each other and did their best to understand each other and were there for each other. There was seriously no major conflict between the pairs and that’s so good to me. They just liked each other, man. Nuea and Toh sooo in love and trusted each other and wanted the best for the other and just >.< 

I wish we got more of the f/f Fon/KwanKong couple, as well as more of Daisy’s gender exploration and Intouch/Daisy becuase I felt like both of those were wrapped up too quickly in like 1 minute in episode 14 :/ Could’ve skipped the random Kong storyline and given us more of these. The cringe was still a lot sometimes and some parts made me raise an eyebrow and it’s not necessarily a masterpiece of a show but subverted expectations in such an eager, earnest manner.

Rating: 7/10

Tiktoks

Umm 12 seconds of episode 7 start of the nsfw scene

lmfao the part where Toh’s sitting and Nuea’s standing in front of him and Toh panics because of proximity to dick

BillySeng clip where Seng keeps touching Billy’s arms absentmindedly 

#secret crush on you #ep by ep commentary

[enibly]

An hour and ten minutes of 120 minutes

Monday 4/1/24 --- 12:50 to 2 am

imperial drag -boy or a girl

the name feels so 70s but it’s def a 90s sounding song. Also I always want it to be more than it is but I think that’s unfair of me

blink 182 - josie

This one is basically “my girlfriend who lives in Canada” to me- I just don’t believe their gf is real even with the sourcing details. Also, should I watch vacation someday?

the clash -radio clash

Even though it’s a legendary classic, I still tend to forget it has as good a beat as it does. I want to listen to more Clash but wherever I do I feel existential guilt, like I’m being useless and soporific by not trying too live up to punk ideals

A flock of seagulls - I ran

I would have thought this was not quite avant-garde for 120 minutes, but that’s just the perspective of looking back at this song from 40 years later

morrissey - the last of the famous international playboys

One of the very few sonically bearable non-smiths Morrissey singles. Morrissey says he’s not naturally evil in this song but i dunno if I cam agree; there are few as consistently bigoted and selfish as him. On a side note I was rummaging through my room recently and I found my old enormous Morrissey/Johnny Marr poster… god I loved that poster so much back in the day. I loved the smiths so much back in the day 🥲

The damned -anything

Uh, kinda forgettable within the rest of this lineup. Not awful when I’m hearing it but I forget it instantly

david Bowie - ashes to ashes

A song and video I understand and fall for a little more every time I encounter it. I wish I had more to say about it but nothing I can say can evoke what ashes to ashes feels like

Erasure - love to hate you

The mv that made me want to make this post. I really like this!!! I’ve always been drawn to the lush voice of Erasure’s singer, and this is combining him with a playful and energetic song that uses the best sample of all time (i call it that cause it’s one that never sounds ugly, out-of-place, or cliché despite being insanely famous and commonly used. It’s like a magic sample). And this video is excellent as well- if I made an mv this is what it would be like: strutting through the streets with a proudly partying entourage, performing in shallow water and historical buildings,

Cowboy junkies- sweet jane

Um, boring.

The rentals - friends of p

Ah, this is the kind of band I imagine is on when I see 120 Minutes is playing. It’s not my general style but I watched the whole thing with some fascination, so it’s doing something right. I like the violin bit at the end

Frank black -hang on to your ego

It’s Pet Sounds, baby! You can’t go wrong covering a song by Brian Wilson. I think I would enjoy having more covers on the radio. Maybe the resurgence of Fast Car can start that wave

ned’s atomic dustbin - grey cell green

For a few minutes I was transported to the 90s and everything was ok.

REM - orange crush

Well I’m currently in my 30s, aka my “loving REM” years, so I guess I’ve got my spine, I’ve got my orange crush.

the the - this is the day

Solid, relaxing. I like folk influences

front 242 - tragedy for you

Why do I feel like I remember this beat so vividly even though I don’t recognize this song? Maybe it’s cause their synth sounds the same as the one the Mighty Boosh used? I am Elecro Boy… I am Electro Girl…

Oop well I was hoping to go for 120 min of 120 minutes but Toni Braxton just appeared so it looks like we’re in 90s Nation now. Guess I’ll peace out for now ✌🏽

#music videos #liveblogging #mtv

[poetsdepartment]

ok so like, last thing about m/tty and taylor for now, including a personal story time

i’ve been trying to reckon with how i feel.  just kind of give it a name, find its location within other things i have felt before so that i can further express and validate it internally.

essentially, this reminds me of a recent situation with a “friend” of mine that i was into.  i put friend in quotes because we rarely interact as intimately and often as we used to.  around the end of last year, oct-dec, we were hanging out nearly everyday, texting a ton, even called for hours once.  it got to the point where he’d text me if mutual friends invited us to the same event, because he wanted to see if i was also going.  we met through dance and being on the same team and i was immediately into him-- BUT he had a gf at the time.  then they broke up in oct and obviously started leaning on me.  despite him doing lots of things that crossed platonic boundaries, i never pursued it bc 1) dance crossover can get ugly and 2) we have a 10 year age gap!  kinda a lot for me.  then, he got back with his gf around christmas time, and started investing less time and energy into our friendship.  nowadays, we don’t text or call, and we only see each other because of dance things we attend individually.  we still have positive and friendly interactions, but it’s on a totally different plane than before.  it’s like those three months never even happened-- we’re at the same level of friendship as we were when we first met.  though it is upsetting, there have been lots of red flags he’s exposed about himself since we stopped being as close, so it feels like i escaped something.  but i still mourn for our previous dynamic all of the time, especially considering how sudden the turn was, and how discard-able that shift made me feel and still makes me feel.  even though it’s been five months, the rawness is still there.  not only did it cement i was wrong in crushing on him, but also, i lost a friend.

i think that piece of whiplash in dynamic is exactly what is happening with taylor and m/tty right now, where suddenly, i feel like i have to let go of a way of relating to her with absolutely no notice.  and, regardless of if or how she apologizes, this has shown a negative side of her character that i’ll never be able to forget, similarly to my friend.  and it leaves this major confliction where you miss the person you thought someone was and the relationship you had, even if it was just a version or a curation of the truth, while knowing the distance you have is ultimately better for you and your mental health.  and also, not associating with someone who brings you pain simply through the way they interact with others and with you.  and the multi-faceted disappointment appears, too.  not only would i have to shift the way i relate to her, but it also means her music-- which i’ve been relating to deeply since i was a child-- would put a negative taste in my mouth that i’d have to work through.  someone described this as a breakup and i really feel like the same processing applies.

for people who have been loving her for almost a decade, in the fandom for just as long, felt like only taylor understood them, this is bigger than being able to just not listen to her music anymore.  it’s learning how to cope with the presence of someone you have once loved who is still around your life, but you have to shift the way you relate to them to not be harmed.  from first-hand experience with someone i have a very real, not parasocial relationship with (for haters who are like “stop being parasocial!!!”), i can say it 1) feels the same and 2) keeps hurting for a long time and absolutely sucks. 

#taylor #music