#.... and i am a dumbass. i try to be kind. i try to be decent. so i am answering her like nothings wrong bc im probably the only one | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

matrixbearer2024 · 3 months

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For the actor au how would Vox react if he knew why Y/N was so red and hitting Angel with the pillow

A/N: Featuring Alastor's wifey aka @a-hazbin-reader's OC, honestly I just didn't want to put another (Y/N) there- so for all you Alastor lovers- come and get your numnums XD also Vox is kind of a dumbass when it comes to romance, in the show he's an idiot because he can't emotion like bro doesn't know how to be treated decently- in this AU he's just really dense because he's actually pretty young and inexperienced compared to the rest of the gang. If you guys want me to expound on that go and drop me a request question for it! :D

Actor AU: Relationship Rambling 2

Vox: "Oh their blushing face and that? Most of it was actually just makeup and acting, sorry guys!"

Alastor: *Once again contemplating why he is good friends with Vox* "You're really dense you know that?"

Vox: "I've been told, but I knew about the script already so before you get any ideas-"

Alastor: "That's not what-" *Tired sigh* "My point is, (Y/N) likes you. As in really like-like you. I'm saying this outright because I know you're not gonna get it-"

Vox: "As friends. Right?"

Alastor: "...Vox I am this close to strangling you-"

Nix: "Hey there boys! Vox, Alastor, what- wait what's happening?"

Vox: "I'm confused."

Alastor: "He's blind."

Nix: "Oh is this about-" *Laughs*

Vox: *Just sheer confusion*

Alastor: "I am actually on the verge of making a canon character event and murdering this guy-"

Nix: "Here, here- let me try! Vox, you really like spending time with (Y/N) right?"

Vox: "Yes...? What's that got to do with anything? I spend time with everyone here."

Nix: "I meant in the way that you value their presence more?"

Vox: "A little bit? But (Y/N)'s my co-star in the drama we're filming- isn't that normal?"

Alastor: *Facepalms*

Nix: "Nevermind, do you want to kiss them more than the script dictates?"

Vox: "Kinda? I dunno."

Alastor: *Throws his hands up in exasperation* "VOX-"

Nix: *Holds a hand in front of Alastor to get him to shut up* "So if you had the chance would you kiss (Y/N) without needing a script?"

Vox: "Well, yeah. They're just really cool, kind, cute, plus the way they just handle themselves is so amazing- whether or not the cameras are rolling, not to mention that they're just- ohhh. Oh. I get it now."

Nix: *Smiles* "So? Why don't you go and tell them?"

Vox: "Nuh- I wouldn't dare."

Alastor: "I am going to go insane listening to you-"

Nix: "Vox, just go and tell (Y/N) how you feel! It'll go well, I promise!"

Vox: "... I'll... think about it." *Leaves*

Alastor: "Okay, HOW??? I've been trying to tell him the obvious for months now."

Nix: "Maybe let him figure it out instead of just telling him outright? You were just like him back then."

Alastor: *Pouts* "No I wasn't, I was at least aware of my feelings."

Nix: *Kisses his cheek* "Maybe you were, but that didn't make you any less of a mess hun."

Alastor: *Pulls Nix into a hug* "Maybe, but enough about Vox. I thought you were dating me?"

Nix: *Boops his nose* "You're a dork." *Laughs*

Alastor: *Chuckles* "I'm your dork darling, there's a difference."

Nix: *Leans on Alastor* "Maybe, but I don't see it."

(Y/N): *Walks in* "Hey have either of you seen-"

Nix: *Suddenly shoves Alastor off* "Vox? He just left!"

(Y/N): "Uhm... okay? Thanks!" *Leaves*

Alastor: *Sitting on the floor with his arms crossed* "That was cruel dear."

Nix: "Sorry, sorry. Force of habit."

Alastor: "Do we really have to continue doing this?"

Nix: "Look, I just- I don't really want to give everyone too many ideas. You already see what's going on with Vox and (Y/N)."

Alastor: "What if I said I didn't care?"

Nix: "Wait what-? Really?"

Alastor: "I don't mind it, I know I used to- but I don't really think so anymore. It's probably better than always being pushed away because someone else came into the room."

Nix: *Crouches down and hugs Alastor* "Okay, if you say so. Besides, I'm a little tired of hiding it too. Sometimes I just wanna cuddle and kiss after a long day of filming."

Alastor: *Hugs Nix back* "Yeah, so do I love. So do I."

#vox x reader #hazbin hotel #vox #get off my screen series #hazbin hotel vox #vox x you #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin vox #hazbin vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader #alastor x reader #alastor altruist #alastor the radio demon #hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor x you #actor au

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marivoid · 18 days

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Entry 25

Day 200

I think I nearly avoided death by not sticking around this guy.

While I was busy clearing out a gas station today, this guy popped out of nowhere! I swear on it! That gas station was as dead as dust and then he just shows up out of the blue! (Or brown? The sky doesn't exactly look blue really.)

He seemed decently friendly while I spoke to him. Rambling on about how he's completing these "Zedvancements" (I still haven't figured out what qualifies for one of those things) and that he needed help on this next one.

Then came the change in attitude.

"You know you could be a really useful person! It's just a second." It started off casual.

"No thank you."

"Come on man! I haven't seen anyone in what? Five, six days? My Zedvancements are boring without anyone to complete them with!" He got a bit louder around here.

"I am sorry but I really can't! I have to go speak to a man about a horse, you know? Can't dilly dally!"

That eye of his... He didn't seem all too happy when I told him no at that time.

(As I'm writing this down, I feel so stupid! He probably just wanted my head on a spike or something!)

"Who are you trying to meet with?" He had started to walk a circle around me then. Like I was prey (AND I SOMEHOW DIDN'T REALIZE. WAY TO GO PAST ME WHAT THE FUCK! WELCOME EVERYONE TO THE NUMBER ONE DUMBASS OF THE YEAR) "There can't be anyone that important that you can't stay a day or two!"

"Well, actually there is. I'm trying to find the Doctor!" And I had turned. Away. Just turned away and walked to the door like there wasn't a single damn in the world. "My arm here needs work to be done. Keeps glitching out!"

I distinctly remember just how shocked he was when I looked back at him. How that golden-yellow eye was fixed on me. How his weird pupil dilated several times over in just the span of seconds. He was getting angry and I hadn't known it at the time.

"You can't be serious! THE Doctor?? The madman?! Are you insane?"

"I am!" I had to of been stupid to keep talking to him, let alone to just crack open one of the last pop bottles that lingered on the shelves (I'm still fine as of writing this. I'm not hurting or sick because of that drink.) "He's the only one who can fix my arm. It's Watcher Tec and Admins were never trained on how to fix that kind of stuff."

"YOU'RE FROM A G.U.I.D.E?!" I swear to you his scream could have scared off a Night Stalker. "That's genuine Watcher Tec?? You have Old Metal??"

"I wouldn't call it that." I had let him see the complex steam system wiring up my arm to my stub. "It's titanium, not the stuff that the G.U.I.D.E.s were made from. And even then, good luck trying to pry that stuff off the walls. Once it's molded, it's stuck for good!"

I hadn't realized he had been staring at me like I was a fool. No, I was too busy chugging my soda. (Still really good by the way!)

"I know a couple of people that could melt it down." He had said oh so casually. (No I did not do a spit take here, shush.) "One's a few days South from here. The other, West. Find one of those guys and they'll help melt down some G.U.I.D.E. metal."

"I'll see what I can do for you. No promises though. Do you have a number or however these things work?"

Annnnd that's how I suddenly have three new contacts in my wrist thingy. (From here on out I'll just call it a Comm, since it's a Communication Device of a sorts, but not exactly like how those old phones worked back in the day.)

Person one (South) is called "The Demon" in my phone. I don't think that's a very trustworthy name, but it could be worse. The second one, however, is called "Heavy-Body Builder." What's a Heavy-Body Builder? Is it important? Dangerous?

And the third...

"Zedaph"

I'll have to make sure to contact that number as little as possible. Leave it alone unless absolutely necessary. That guy was NOT safe. But at least he showed me how to take photos on this thing. Got a reference for the journal though, so it was kind of worth almost dying.

Just got to find The Doctor.

-MLW

-G.U.I.D.E 67

#hermitblr #hermitcraft #hermitaday #zedaph #void art #original art #mcyt fanart #The Crash #martyn itlw #martyn inthelittlewood

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nicki0kaye · 5 months

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Some dumbass in the comment section of a youtube vid about how AI Art bros are jersk tried to make the argument that genetics determine talent and I kind of popped of. Turns out the comment thread I replied to is like 200+ comments deep and now no one is going to see my small novella about genetics v talent, so I've decided to share it here...IN TWO SEPARATE PARTS bc apparently it is too long and tumblr cant handle it alskdjflskjdf.

Hi, I'm the genetically gifted artist you're trying to cite for your argument. Both of my birth parents were artists in several fields and despite being adopted by a different family, I know that I've inherited most of their interests and am proficient at all of the things they excelled in; art, writing and performance to be specific. I now make a living as an artist.

You're also entirely wrong about how 'talent' works and how inheriting 'talent' works. What I inherited from my parents were their mental disorders. Adhd, Autism and chronic depression. Autism forced me to be far more observant of my peers if I wanted to have a social life. Adhd gifted me time blindness and the ability to hyperfocus on whatever tasks gave me dopamine, and Autism complimented that nicely with a shock to the nervous system when I was expected to change gears out of what I felt was safe into something I did not.

I had many avenues before me because of this; theatre was what my adopted parents assumed I would pursue. But then chronic depression came in with the steel chair at the end of highschool and no, no I did not do theatre, that shit takes too much energy for too long of a period of time.

So. Art.

Why am I so genetically good at art? Well, and this is again Probably The Autism, I'm very good at recognizing and retaining visual patterns, I'm super interested in body language and costuming and micro-expressions--all things I need to pay attention to if I wanted to be liked by allistic classmates--and drawing quite literally regulates my nervous system, so I'm gonna do it often just to cope.

I don't have a fucking 'artists' gene. I have a brain that is predisposed to certain pattern recognition and through access to resources (GLASSES, I AM BLIND AS SHIT AND WITHOUT GLASSES NONE OF THIS WOULD BE POSSIBLE) was able to find and cultivate hobbies that either worked with or helped regulate the myriad of bullshit I won through the genetic lottery.

I'm a good artist bc I put in the work. I put in the work bc my brain is wired to really like certain work. It didn't have to be art. If i were less depressed, it could have been theatre--either writing, performing or directing. If I was less autistic, it might have been something with more abstract thinking and less focused on decrypting human expression and repurposing it in ways that I Personally Like. If I was less ADHD, it could have been more academic studies, like Marine Biology since I really wanted to do that when I was little. If I didn't have exercised induced asthma, it could have been competitive swimming, bc my swim teacher really thought I had a gift for it. If I didn't have dyscalculia, it could have been something that involves number crunching and long distances, bc I don't understand that shit for beans, completely locking me out of a large chunk of possible careers.

And maybe without all of that, I wouldn't have had the perfect cocktail to give enough of a shit to be good at anything. Maybe I would have just been an office clerk, making a decent wage and filling my cubicle with anime figurines.

#AI art #AI art bros #talent #genetics #art #artist

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an-au-blog · 6 months

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Thinking about Shuggy college au and got to thinking about the relative ages of other characters and now I’m thinking of end of High school aged Frobin. Robin is that loner goth girl turned popular goth girl that is still seen as a bit odd but she’s smart and helpful and has a slightly morbid sense of humor that just endears her to her classmates. Franky is that loud jock who comes to school in way too short shorts even when the weather doesn’t permit for it. You’d think he’s a huge dumbass from the way he acts sometimes but he actually knows a lot of stuff and gets decent grades and is pretty nifty with machines (Also sometimes babysitting his kid neighbor Usopp and teaching him how to not hit his thumb with a hammer). Both of them having this kind of „end of a slow burn“ relationship where Franky is trying to gather his nerves and tell his long term friend that he has feelings for her and it’s completely fine if she doesn’t, but also she’s going to move to college after the end of this school year and he’s afraid about what that means for them and not to mention he’s „smart“ but Robin is like „SMART smart“ and is going to study history and oh GOD what if this is the thing that makes them loose contact and Oh god, oh no, oh fuck.

… probably ends with her just spontaneously taking his hand and asking HIM out, completely oblivious that he has been fretting over this for almost an entire school year. Just felt like the right thing to do to her. A decision she made right that moment.

I... I never really calculated her years in the college au and at first I thought, pft, she won't be that old but then... like she IS around 10/11 years older than Luffy and assuming he's around 5/6 she'd be in her last years of school omg D:' I'm supposed to be good at math how did I not see this???

Also you have no idea how happy I am, this is my first frobin ask I was so happy when I saw it and then my happiness doubled because it's the college au hahaha :')

If I haven't given you a name, can I call you Franon? Or Fronan?? (haha cuz frobin + anon...)

(Edit: by the time I was halfway through writing this post, I realized I've written an entire subplot lol':))

Robin is definitely that weird kid in school that's a bit too smart for her own good and most teachers just think she's a smartass. The type that even though she moved schools and now she's pretty (and still a bit weird, just hides it better), she still has the outcast mentality. She doesn't know how to be herself and she definitely doesn't know what to do, react or even comprehend that someone wants to be friends with her. Let alone to be interested in her romantically.

Franky on the other hand is so outgoing because he's so weird. People will see him in a blizzard in his short shorts and sunglasses and go "how the heck are you not cold". He'd respond with "oh, I'm freezing! I have a parka and two cotton shirts under there!" and people would laugh along. The type to high-five and greet random people he's talked to once as if they've been friends for ages. I feel like he'd also kinda be the class clown but in a somewhat respectful way. There's a meme about someone calling Prometheus a mad lad and then Hermes a Chad, and I feel like that would be his vibe.

Also, I'm sorry Fronan/Franon, but I'm absolutely stealing the idea that Franky babysits Usopp and they have fun arts and crafts type of bonding. He'll need it for the stuff I've been planning for him and Yasopp >:]]]

Everyone assumes he's a moron, but it's until Robin sees him in one of his extracurricular advanced classes that she realizes he's not only smart but funny and fun to be around. It turns out that they also have a lot in common and quickly become friends.

Also him overthinking it and her asking him out is so on brand imo and I absolutely love it. And maybe here comes into play the fact that he's so friendly with everyone so he automatically assumes people like him so he doesn't know what signs for romantic feelings look like? And how she doesn't think anyone could like her in that way? I can imagine him trying to talk himself out of it because she's going places and what could he give her to make her be with him anyway. While she's sitting next to him already planning a schedule for their talks for their long distance relationship.

And of course, their long distance relationship works very well. They both love each other so much they try their best to have at least two or three nights to talk. In fact, their relationship has a very strong foundation of getting to know each other because of the physical separation.

Or so I'd like to think hehe :')

#frobin #one piece frobin #college au #franky x robin #robin x franky #op #answers

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spider-man-2o99 · 10 months

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ok i’m still On Break do not take this post as a sign that i’m like. Actively Tumblring again yet because i’m still not, 4 the most part, but i have had my ear to the ground for special interest things, of fuckign course, of course, bcuz i’m me, and i. just. i am .i’m so fucking sorry to all the new SM2099 comic fans who are only just now realizing just now how dire the straits are, here, LMAO. it has been this way for Years. earnestly and from the bottom of my heart i love spider-man 2099 so much and also nobody on the goddamn planet Cares About Him At All or can even fucking write him half-decently unless every single celestial bodie in the fucking milky way galaxy comes into perfect fucking syzygy, i think, i think, i think. why did u think we (me) had a psychotic episode after that fuckin movie dropped. fucksake. lord above. because it’s all always “ohhh being yourSELF and telling your OWN story your OWN way” until you Look A Certain Way and ARE A Certain Way and Have Symptoms That Look Frightening and Don’t Move Around Like ‘Normal’ People Should Move, fuckin’ freaky-ass creature beast-thing, and so on and so on and so on, Christ all-fuckin’-mighty. gets tiring. but. anywaygs.

it is far easier to be destructive, than constructive. so. ahem. sorry. refocusing. it seems quite simply that just yet another goddamn story missed the point that 90s future spider-man is a story about very plainly and simply loving each other as people. it’s a story about a severely depressed, miserable, cynical little man who finds new reasons to live in every kind person he meets, and there is an open earnesty to that, if nothing else, that no movie can take away 30 years later. anybody can decide to try and be a better person than the one they were yesterday, and that is goddamn important. to portray anything otherwise was an unfathomably cruel decision, on sony’s part, and as soon as we got trailer evidence that they were leaning into his more “intimidating” features back in ~dec. 2021, i.. pretty much Knew it was what they were gonna be doing with him. why wouldn’t they? i mean. who actually even cares about this obscure nobody, right? c-listers are the tried-and-true adaptational chameleons, anyways; they sure suckered in dumbasses like me, who still took blind hope in hook line and sinker, thinking he’d be important to the film, or at the very least portrayed sympathetically to his 30 years of established comic history as a character who is consciously aware that he is an adult survivor of fucking child abuse. but. c’est la fucking vie, i guess.

#talking tag #atsv #spider-man 2099 #i predicted All Of This and i am SO TIRED OF BEING RIGHT THAT I WANT TO THROW MYSELF IN2 THE SUN ABT IT :))))#i WANTED to be wrong. /CHRIST/ i wanted to be wrong so goddamn bad #articulation isnt at its peak rn. how do i even- /bridge/ the breadth of this gap. wwoof man like. just.#i just. did yall think i started writing the dissection fic with extreme violation + dehumanization themes Just Outta Nowhere?? y/k???#y’KNOW. haha. i am Intimately Aware firsthand with how years of it without reprieve shapes a brain over time. and. writing helps.#hhahaha. lord. id just go back 2 how i was Raised if i wanted 2 Constantly Hear so many ppl talkin abt how much they want evry Like-Me dead #(not-- not. not Like That. not in the nasty-ass too-online Way or whatever disgusting Assumptions that could Imply. im just a basket case.)#chroist.#not even . not even getting into the whole ‘also comic sm2099 is canonically staunchly anti-cop yet movieboy is weirdly fashy’ Thing.#i already Have a migraine im NOT getting into that right now #(holding back tears) wwelp looks like these next Seven Years Of Terrible Public Perception r gonna b long and suck so bad :))#ok goodbye again now im going back to frolicking morosely in the Fields . be safe drink some water be kind to urself and others. mwah.

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meeeeeeri · 1 year

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Things that really ANNOYED THE FUCK OUTTA ME while watching OUTER BANKS SEASON 3:

First things first: Big John AKA big old crazy dude

Let's just say that besides being a shitty father figure he also is selfish as fuck. He only decides to appear in John B's life whenever he needs him to do something treasure related, like ok big John, you love your son so much *cough cough*

In other hand, he also is willing to do ANTHING to find el Dorado, and by ANYTHING I mean killing people, tell me that's not what a psychopath would do.

And all the fricking screen time dedicated to the relationship between John B and his father???? Like we get that they need to bond again but DO WE HAVE TO WATCH ALL THE PROCESS?

No thank you Netflix, do better next time

I saw a tik tok that went something like this: Who said Ward is a bad person? Big John? cause if we wanna talk about someone BAD let's talk about Big John...

And yeah, that tik tok literally summes up my opinion about this individual.

Me roasting Big John with this post:

2: Rafe and the girl named Sofia who came out of nowhere

Ok. Don't misunderstand me; the idea of introducing a new character who's gonna play the girlfriend or fuckbuddy of Rafe is super super interesting to me BUT

Can you elaborate more their relationship????? Give more CONTEXT????

They could even use her apparition and do a BOMB ASS side story like idk maybe her being more cruel than Rafe or her having some kind of business relationship with Singh and betraying him in the process... WHATEVER

But I'm just saying that that would have been more interesting than the parental issues between Big Dumbass John and John B

A video of me crying while scenes of John B and his dad appeared on my tv non stop:

LOOK AT HIM HE'S SO CUTE LOVE HIM

3: Sarah and Topper

Don't even get me started on this shit.

When I saw that Sarah went back to flirting with Topper I was like WHA- WHE- WHO

But I'm not gonna question her that much because they are supposed to be playing teenagers, and that's what teenagers and (also) some adults do:

STUPID SHIT

And Topper... I really don't know how to feel about him.

He's like a shark who's ready to attack if he sniffs some blood (Sarah and John B breaking up or having relationship turbulences), but I can't even blame him that much because I feel like he really loves Sarah besides everything, and he really demonstrated it this season by helping the pogues out.

What Topper was replaying in his head when Sarah promised him that she would stay:

4: Sarah's thoughts when she was left with no family, no money and nowhere to go (she was homeless for like a day and decided to cope with it by drinking beer from an abandoned beer tap, ok)

Um... When I say I was expecting her to say something philosophical and life changing and SHE DECIDED TO CONCLUDE HER SPEECH WITH: I really don't know if I'm a pogue or a kook...

SIDE EYE

Girl I KNOW you are 17 but GROW THE FUCK UP.

You've been betrayed by your OWN FATHER and SHOT and nearly KILLED by your BROTHER and that's what you're thinking about???

Jesus Christ have mercy on me

All the build up story around pogues and kooks is really interesting (even tho it's like another form of saying rich and poor people) but when characters say shit like that it really makes no sense.

You have no home, no family, you argued with your bf and he left, and your friends are not there at the moment and YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT THAT IRRELEVANT SHIT? Damn

Ok, I think I am done with most of the things I wanted to say. There are MORE for sure, but these are the most important ones.

I have to be honest with you, I still haven't watched the last episode bc I really got tired of their bullshit. I love the show and I really love the characters, but this season just wasn't it. I am gonna try and finish it today with hopes that they will end it in a decent way (I don't think so but whatever).

It's not a secret by the end of this post that I'm a spanish native speaker so, yeah, I tried my best to write down correctly the ideas that I had about the show, so PLEASE don't come at me.

I'm also writing a fanfiction about Rafe, but I'm doing it in spanish because I feel like if I wrote it in english I would fuck it up.

Maybe I will try and start uploading Rafe imagines or smth like that, bc they would be shorter and easier to write for me.

PLEASE if you have any thoughts or a comment that you wanna add after reading my rant, just do it, I'm for sure gonna be answering y'all because I love to talk about the show and the characters.

BYE P4L

#obx #obx3 #outer banks #outer banks 3 #rafecameron #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe x y/n #sorry for the rant #rafe cameron imagine #outer banks fanfiction #outerbanks fic #rafe cameron blurb #obx smut #rafe cameron smut #outer banks smut

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unbrcakablc-hcart · 1 month

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What even happened? Who did what?

God, okay, so. This might sound pretty stupid. The first thing I think I should say is that this happened in a group chat off of Tumblr; I don't think many of these people have blogs. It was run/created by... uh. Someone I thought was a friend but I guess ain't anymore. Anyway.

Secondly is that this truly started off in such a dumbass way.

Like. Talking about some real mundane shit. I was essentially going "I wanna swim I've only done that like 3 times tops in my life because I don't want to dirty the water that other people where I'm from could be drinking" because. You know. I live in a desert.

This gets long so. Be ready for that.

tl;dr: lady wants to study my sisters and therefore me by proxy. I don't take kindly to that. She calls me weak and stupid and naive for not keeping my mouth shut in a place where I had originally felt reasonably comfortable with people. Only 4-5 people argue with her and everyone else just tries to act like nothing happened, and one person insisted that I should just try to find common ground and get along. She doubles down on her bullshit and I decide this is a load of shit and leave.

This person whose name I still don't know, so I guess I'm going to just call her Ox because that's the emoji she was using. She pointed out that I can't really be dirtying the water any more than any other creature that gets in it, which... like, yeah, fair, except the point is that I live(d) on a desert planet with very little water and there really ISN'T that much in the way of wildlife on No Man's Land.

Which I know she wouldn't know, because just as I know nothing about her, she knows nothing about me. So anyway. I explain that. And I also make the dumbass decision to mention that my sisters are generally responsible for producing a vast majority of the potable water on the planet.

Because by this point I've been pretty open about being a Plant, right? I don't really talk about it frequently because it's just not something that comes up often, but I'm not hiding it on purpose or anything either. It gets kind of tiring trying to explain the whole thing anyway.

I realize I've made a mistake because Ox talks about how sentient beings producing water is fascinating, and I'm a little on edge, so I go, ahahaha, I guess I probably shouldn't really talk about my sisters.

And Ox is like, "That's not the wrong way to go about it. If you want to protect something, it's best to keep it hidden. Lock it away, never to see the light of day. It's like the advice I'd given to that girl and her Aubade."

Don't know what the hell she's talking about, and I probably overreacted a bit by going okay, noted, won't share anything about myself again, because I literally did not ask for that advice, and do not care for it.

She replies, "It's foolish to announce you have something unique, don't you understand. Unwanted attention, conflict. If you're not cut out for defending it, you should simply lock it away and keep your head down."

Which, again, sure, except it's not like I'm entirely fucking braindead, I know that. That's how I've lived my whole life so far! But I don't care for the implication that I should also be locked away and keep my head down and hold my tongue, because, you know, like my sisters. I Am A Plant.

And this guy I was talking to, I'll call him Columbi, he also picks up pretty quick that this is fucked up and he's like. "People aren't possessions you can cage." Like a decent person, you know?

So Ox tells him that's a naive way of thinking.

Which pisses me 'n Columbi off. Obviously.

And she goes on to say, "It's simple to "lock away" a person. Downplay their capabilities, have them keep their heads down too. Strict rules about who they can and can't talk to, what they can or can't talk about. An open prison. Even if you don't lock them in a room by themselves, you can still keep them sheltered away from harm. The more open you are about their uniqueness, the more they become exposed, the more likely you are to draw unwanted attention. And if they're particularly important or special… you simply run the risk of losing them altogether, if you're not strong enough to protect them."

Which Columbi points out is abuse. Which I recognize pretty quickly as something Nai wanted to do to me to keep me safe, which wasn't what I wanted at all, because ultimately he and I both would ideally like to live without having to pretend that we're something we're not for our own safety, and I thought in a group chat full of people from other universes, I wouldn't have to worry so much about this shit.

I point out that it's real easy to be cruel and that I love (sarcasm) how she thinks the non-naive thing is to be an abusive shithead.

Ox says, "Of course. It's simplicity itself. But if you're powerless to take care of your most precious attachments, you scarcely have little other choice."

Which I disagree with. Of course. I think there are PLENTY of other choices that don't involve that kind of cruelty. And I snark that oh, I see, you're just as powerless yourself, aren't you?

And she goes, "You seem to believe I'm speaking from a place of experience. Which, you may have been right so many decades ago."

So what I get from this is that she's basically talkin' out her ass.

She goes on to say, "I'm quite proud of the strength I've cultivated. I simply cannot condone the actions of those who would brag about their unique abilities or their special treasures without the capability to back them up. Truthfully, your reaction may have been the right one. If you think you're simply too weak to protect your attachments, your possessions, you're simply better off keeping them to yourself and locking them away."

For the record, my reaction has nothing to do with whether I'm too weak to protect the people I care about or not. In my opinion, that's missing the point entirely, which is that I shouldn't fucking HAVE to. Which I guess makes me stupid, weak, and naive.

I'm also pretty sure that I could hand her ass to her, but again, not my point, and it's another thing I feel like I shouldn't have to prove to anyone. But I do tell her that if she gets close to me or anyone else that I care about, that I'll put her out of all of our miseries.

And this is when things start to, in my opinion, get worse.

To summarize at this point: random stranger tells me I'm stupid, weak, and naive for sharing information about myself and being uncomfortable with the response she gave me, after quite a few people pointed out that's just Not Something You Should Say To Someone.

Only three people - two of whom are friends of mine that I know in person, one of whom is a stranger - stand up for me and go this is fucked up. A fourth person is saying this is fucked up but I think she's missing the point but she's also a friend of mine and I guess right now she's okay.

I leave to try to cool off. It's not really that successful but whatever. Everyone just acts like this lady didn't just say some fucked up shit.

Two 'n a half hours later this other gal(?) named Roon says, "While we're all together like this, wouldn't it be best if we tried to get along?"

One of my friends asks how she suggests that to happen, given the circumstances.

Roon answers, "Hmm... I suppose I'm not the best person to ask about this. But it might work to establish some common ground, at least. That might be a little difficult in a space like this, but I'm sure it's possible."

Which I take to mean as, "I don't understand what the problem is, why don't you just be the bigger person and be understanding?"

Because like. How else am I supposed to interpret that.

And because I feel like no one is really understanding why I'm so damn upset, I try to spell it out, and I explain, "All I really wanted was to feel like I could be open about myself and try to make connections with people, only to be in no uncertain terms that I am weak, stupid, and naive for doing so. Right now it feels like my options are to either leave, or to stay and say nothing and lie and lie and lie and say nothing of any real substance and pretend that's fine with me. Given my options, I'd rather tell y'all that it's been real, and that I'm going to spend my time with people I know give a shit about me and don't want me to hide everything about myself. I shouldn't have to fucking prove a goddamn thing to be worthy of the luxury of comfort. Because at the moment, I don't particularly want to be open and establish common ground when it'll be seen as stupid and naive."

Roon says, "I can't stop you from doing that instead, and neither should I. I just wanted to float a second opinion~"

Which. Again. Kind of pisses me off because again, the way I'm reading this, I feel kind of like she thinks I'm overreacting, and that I should just accept the way I've been spoken to by someone who is a stranger to me, who expressed some interest in studying/experimenting on my sisters and by proxy me.

Three hours later, Ox comes back, and instead of even just apologizing insincerely to me, she says, "Apologizing doesn't undo the fact that it's been said, nor do I mean to act like I didn't mean it. If you're strong enough to protect the things and people you care about, by all means. But backing down the second someone makes a comment about it implies to me that you're uncertain if you could. Of course, I even think you're being defensive about it for naught. You are but lines of words upon this relic's slab. I can't even guarantee you're real, or if you're just a fabrication by the relic to amuse me."

The fact that she doubled down on all of her bullshit was the final straw for me, especially with being told that I should try to find common ground and "just get along", so I decide that I've had enough of all this shit, that I don't have to deal with this and that I'm under no obligation whatsoever to prove myself, and I have no interest in trying to convince someone who isn't even sure I'm a real person to give me basic decency, so I left the group chat pretty much immediately after that.

And now everything just really fuckin' hurts emotionally and it's intense enough that it's affecting me physically in a lot of ways and while I could have been kinder and more polite in the beginning, I really do not think that would have improved anything, and I still am under the opinion that I did nothing wrong and definitely did nothing to warrant being treated like that, and finding that a lot of people I considered close friends didn't even want to say anything! Fucking sucked!

I know I shouldn't really be surprised, but I am, because I thought things could be different. Better. And... well. Guess things weren't as good as I thought they were.

So. Super cool. Loved that.

#vash blogs #vash answers #ask #anonymous

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alertarchitect · 3 months

Text

Full disclosure, this is a long one. It's also a vent post. I'm mainly writing this out to help get the thoughts and feelings regarding this kind of organized and out of my head, makes dealing with them just a little easier. Maybe it'll help you put to words your own thoughts & feelings on this kinda shit, too, and if it does, I'm glad my screaming into the void at least helped out someone other than myself! After all, if anything I say, write, or do ends up helping at least one other person, then maybe I'm doing something right :]

Sometimes having long-time special interests in an ongoing franchise FUCKING SUCKS. Perfect example - I am both a big Halo nerd, and really enjoy the overaching lore of Bungie's connected worlds (with how Marathon, Pathways into Darkness, Myth, Destiny, and even the ways Halo originally connected before it had to become its own thing thanks to Microsoft). Here are the ways that currently sucks:

The state of Halo Infinite, the most recent Halo game, both currently and at launch. At launch, you had a buggy mess, with multiplayer that barely functioned, lacking feature parity (even just on the multiplayer side of things, not counting the campaign) with Halo Reach, a game from 2010. Currently, 343i has admittedly fixed a lot of the launch issues - there's more customization than the game has ever had before (still not as good as Reach's customization imo, but at this point I've given up hope on any multiplayer AAA game having that level of customization for free ever again), the desync issues (in my experience) are no longer happening, and it has the most powerful Forge mode in any Halo game to date. The flip side of that, though? Egregiously horrendous monetization, an armor core and coating system that both hurt the customization more than help, and a drip-feed of content with little to no communication from 343 on anything past the most recent update. Not to mention the issues that come from a focus on "Live Service" bullshit.

The issues at 343 Industries itself, which come part and parcel with the massive issues related to Microsoft as a company. Massive megacorporation, horrible management, staff getting screwed over, crunch culture, and more - it just goes on and on.

Halo 5, despite its generally negative reception, is horrendously inaccessible to those of us that want to experience it as a piece of history and/or try out the multiplayer. A perfect example of how little companies care about game preservation, despite the decent track record 343i has had in that respect thanks to the Master Chief Collection, its PC release and addition of Halo Reach, and the efforts to find, occasionally recreate from almost nothing, and implement lost & cut content in the MCC titles.

Being a fan of Bungie's overarching stuff... really bad when you are at PEAK investment into their stuff, namely my Destiny 2 hyperfixation, and they not only announce that their new Marathon game is going to be a fucking EXTRACTION SHOOTER, and thus unlikely to have one of the most interesting things about Marathon in it (that being its lore) while also being very hard to get into thanks to people treating that kind of game as a massive sweat-fest, but also suddenly lay off a bunch of employees (when previously they had a good track record of treating employees decently...) due to Square Enix levels of profit overestimations of Lightfall, the BEST SELLING DESTINY EXPANSION EVER only getting 45% of the expected sales. Because why be realistic, right? Just fuck over employees, that certainly won't hurt us in the end!

The fact that, despite ALL OF THIS and my moral convictions against the shitty nature of this stuff, my dumbass brain still wants me to just spend spend spend on it anyway because of how much of a special interest Halo & the Bungie lore are to me - it almost hurts. I generally prefer fantasy stuff, but I can't stop myself from loving the lore and stories associated with this stuff. I have to fight myself every goddamn time I have money to not fall into the traps. It's easier with Destiny - I uninstalled it, replaced my PvE needs with Warframe and Risk of Rain 2, replaced my PvP needs with Halo Infinite, and just keep up with the story from a distance. But now that Halo Infinite is back in my life? I love the gameplay, hell I'd go as far as to say it has some of the strongest gameplay in the series (though some modes could use a bit more work, for example the Infection mode just isn't as fun as the Infection from Halo Reach), but the monetization just... AAAARGH it hurts me that I want to spend on it, both for customization and to have little goals to work towards in the (thankfully well-implemented due to them being available eternally) battle passes.

I just want to be able to love something that's been so central to me for so long - I played a cracked version of the CE PC demo for countless hours growing up, to the point that to this day I know the mission Silent Cartographer back to front from memory & could do it in my sleep, and associate Blood Gulch with countless memories of Halo's multiplayer from how often I'd play it with my sister, and to add onto all of that Halo Reach is one of my favorite games ever made, period - without caveats and moral hangups. I just want to love something without justifying it every time I think of it, both to myself and others.

I know this is a massively first-world issue, having the luxury to whine about my Favorite Things going through years and years of getting fucked by their own successes driving them into corporatism, but it still sucks. Obviously not as much as other issues both myself and others deal with, and DEFINITELY not as much as the horrible shit people are enduring in several parts of the world, but just enough for me to want/need to vent about how much corporations like to shit on the little rays of sunshine that we use to feel better about life.

#vent post #halo #halo infinite #marathon #pathways into darkness #myth the fallen lords #destiny 2 #corporate bullshit #fuck corpos #just let me have nice things in peace goddammit #why does everything have to be fucked with SO MUCH over time #I just want comfort games I don't have to think about the real-world bullshit of too much #but unfortunately my brain landed on options that #while not the WORST by any stretch of the imagination #I mean just LOOK at the state of CoD Battlefield and just...#EVERYTHING that was touched by the Shitty Wizard Franchise #which I only mention due to how many people I've known who had to find a completely new comfort media after JKR proved herself to be a TERF #it still sucks that it's nearly impossible to find something that isn't either problematic or actively getting enshittified #at least in my favorite genres #namely FPS games (both modern and retro) and Metroidvanias #and while the latter isn't too bad #the former just gets infested with so much assholery and corpo fuckery that #you either have to play an indie game made by one person who could turn out shit at any time and that is so niche there's no multiplayer #or just deal with the shittiness involved with getting too attached to a franchise owned and produced by a megacorporation #and unfortunately I got attached to one of the latter from a young age so #at least I can feel a little better now that I've kinda gotten the bulk of my thoughts about it off of my chest #which I honestly REALLY needed to do #so that's good at least

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ask-uts-earthspark-au · 1 year

Note

i was wondering what the terrans would think if they learned abt most of the (former) decepticon high command and op being close before the war and how they'd feel about op technically being one of the main founders of the decepticons (assuming this goes with ur au. lol.)

I am all too happy to clarify how it goes for my AU! So here we go!

Technically, he didn’t found the Decepticons, in fact, both factions were established way before all of the current’s second creators/grandparents were even remotely imagined. And the war by technicality was long over way before Alchemist died. It was just the fucking functionalists that honestly couldn’t let it die like the little pissbaby losers they were.

However, Op was definitely to some extent close with the command before he became Prime, or at least Megatron and Soundwave - both of whom he - kind of - lived with.*

And on a further note, he was almost an inside man with how avidly he was trying to tear down the council and rework the Autobots from the inside out/top down. He just didn’t share very much of what he was doing to much of anyone.

* Honest to god, it was just Megs insistently bringing this wet cat of a man home almost every day, because he simply could not help himself. Orion just got used to having Soundwave visit like every other day.

This is why Megatron is genuinely so patient - he had to deal with these two fucking dumbasses on the regular, then there was spicy kitten Roller, and on top later came along the six cassettes. Then he became leader of the Decepticons and had five more dumbasses to live with day in-day out from his command alone, not to mention everyone else.

Megatron and Orion had always been close and the whole ‘Decepticon Leader’/becoming ‘Prime’ thing didn’t even cause the most minor of dents to strain their relationship. Arguably, Megs was more concerned about how firmly Orion was trying to ignore the Matrix having chose him, and how nonchalantly disinterested he was when it was spoken of/brought up.

Soundwave and Orion had an almost brotherly relationship. Megs and Ariel at first was shaky (Megs was just being a little overprotective of his precious baby brother, and he’s quite a big intimidating mech.), but they quickly made amends to become friends, having realized their similarities between the lines of being cordial and learning to live with each other for the sake of all future Christmas dinners they knew they’d have to spend together as in-laws (upon noticing she was, in fact, harmless, and he had nothing to worry about. Orion would be okay.).

The others of the command weren’t quite as close but they certainly considered Optimus a fairly decent Prime, and something of a friend, for a variety of reasons, if pessimistic and quiet sometimes, other times homicidal but the best ally they’d ever met. Elita was generally pretty nice company, and they hardly had to change much when around her, and her avid interaction in fandom space made her really fun.

To date, not much has changed over the years.

So Op and Elita were/are fairly close with the Decepticon command, in conclusion.

And the Terrans reactions to such an explanation:

Nightshade: Well that would make sense as to how it would be a lot easier to make some truce and end the war.

Twitch: woah… they’re siblings? Like us??

Jawbreaker: But… how would that work when they’re leaders of the opposite sides? And what about Elita-One?

Thrash: My main focus at the moment is what the hell kind of sibling drama caused a million year war??

Hashtag: actually, it says they didn’t start the war. Someone else did. They’re just the most recent of the leaders of the factions, so the war’s start isn’t on them…

Nightshade: I actually think it’s kind of cool how Optimus remained their friend despite different sigils. Clearly he knew that the council or whoever it was was in the wrong, so he fought to change things and keep them that way.

Thrash: oh dear god, here we go again…

Jawbreaker: Nightshade has a point, Thrash.

Nightshade: thank you. :)

Hashtag: Two notes:

Hashtag: 1.) Nightshade may be a little philosophical, and overly analytical at times, but they do have a point. We probably wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for all of that.

Hashtag: 2.) Twitch has gone to interrogate Megatron, so if we wanna catch whatever he might spill to her, we oughta head up.

Thrash: oh damn- she’s fast. And really interested in this whole thing.

Jawbreaker: Mhm. She is really fast, and super interested. Nightshade’s going too, let’s catch up. :)

Sorry if this was… half indecipherable, or didn’t make the most sense? It’s kind of complex to convey the exact relationships and everything there. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed it!

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 2 years

Text

Don’t Run

Prompts: hello hello hello i have a merlin fic idea (which you are Not obligated to write /gen) merlins been hiding his magic from arthur for ages (but arthur already knows about it, doesnt really care, and has just been waiting for merlin to tell him on his own terms). merlins magic gets revealed and merlin is Terrified. he basically begs aurthur to not burn him and instead banish him or something. arthur (who was not expecting this) decides hey maybe its a good idea to let all these emptions calm down before I talk about this with him because clearly merlin isnt okay right now. and so he leaves merlin to let him have a break. but merlin freaks (or gets kidnapped or something idk /lh) and decides 'fuck it time to run before he decides to kill me.' arthur now has to go find this magic dumbass (he's probably very worried about him) However, when he finds merlin, merlin assumes arthur is there to kill him and figures 'well if arthur wants me dead i suppose i'll have to die' or something. arthur is naturally horrified and rushes to clear things up. again, if you dont want to write this/dont feel comfortable writing it, dont /gen (i know its detailed brain went brrrr at like midnight and thought this up lmao) have a great day!!! drink water or get bonked /lh - anon

me, as the angsty person i am, am a sucker for the 'Person A gets kidnapped or captured for a bit and when they're rescued think they're dreaming/hallucinating' trope. no pressure for you to write this ofc, feel free to ignore this /gen - anon

prompt: can you please do a Merlin gets betrayed by someone he cares about h/c fic? also can merlin be aroace and trans? - anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: panic attacks, betrayal, anti-magic sentiments

Pairings: merthur, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 3725

It was supposed to be a normal hunt. It was supposed to be a normal hunt.

It was supposed to be this: they get out of the castle so Arthur can be less of a prat, the knights have that weird banter that they always do where it’s ‘we can make fun of him but if anyone else tries, you will be eviscerated,’ and Merlin gets to enjoy being in the woods because it’s nice outside and he doesn’t actually have to do that much. They only tend to hunt small things like rabbits and birds anyway.

It was not supposed to be most of the knights having to stay behind for various reasons, including Gwaine who somehow got swept into helping Leon with a council thing.

It was not supposed to be just him, Arthur, and three random knights.

It was not supposed to end like this.

Merlin grunts, hitting the ground hard as a sword slams into his back. He gasps, struggling to find purchase on the loose dirt as the sound of shouts reach his ringing ears. He turns over, trying to get up, only to have the point of a sword leveled at his face.

“G-Gareth?”

Gareth, the knight who had actually been decent to him—which meant he’d helped put away his equipment, helped Merlin tidy up, and actually been nice to him—snarls down at him, sword still aimed right at his throat.

“What—what’s going on?”

“Don’t play dumb, you wretched thing,” the man growls, the point of the sword perilously close to slitting his throat, “I’ve had my eye on you since I came to Camelot.”

“Your eye on me—what? What’re you talking about?”

“As if you don’t know!”

Merlin’s breathing grows ragged as the sword forces his head back down on the ground. Gareth leans over him, spittle flying from his lips.

“You’re poison,” hisses the same mouth that called him kind, called him compassionate, called him hopeful, “you’re a plague that deserves to be wiped out. Scum and traitors, all of you, inhuman bastards that drag the rest of us down to your level.”

It’s the shock of the words that does it, bringing tears to Merlin’s eyes as the conviction in the man’s face drives the sword down further. “G-Gareth, I—“

“Don’t.”

He winces as the sword digs in.

“Keep my name out of your hell mouth,” the man spits, “don’t try and curse me.”

“What,” says the most glorious and furious voice Merlin has ever heard, “is the meaning of this?”

Arthur.

Arthur storms up to them, his own sword drawn, eyes like flame as he sees Gareth with his sword at Merlin’s throat.

“Drop it,” he warns in a voice of steel, “and I might just let you keep your life.”

“He’s a sorcerer, sire.”

Merlin’s blood runs cold.

No.

No, no, no, no, this can’t be happening.

Not like this. Arthur wasn’t supposed to find out like this. No, he was—he was going to tell him, promise, he was but—but after, after everything was fine and fixed and then—then he could—

Not like this. Please, not like this.

“A sorcerer? Merlin? You must be joking.”

“It’s no joke, sire.” Gareth snarls again. “I saw him with my own eyes. His eyes glowed, he threw a spear halfway across the arena without his hands. He has magic, I tell you.”

Merlin looks helplessly at Arthur but all he sees is a stony face. The blade turns him back after a second, back into the face of contempt and hatred and all the things that hurt far worse than any sword.

“We must kill him,” Gareth says solemnly, “to root out the poison before it destroys us all.”

And before Merlin can say anything, before Arthur can say anything, he lifts the sword and makes to swing.

“Merlin!”

A blast and Gareth is flying back across the clearing, smacking against the tree and falling to the ground with a clang.

It rings in the still air.

Merlin’s eyes widen.

He doesn’t hear the cries of sorcerer, magic, evil over the pounding of his heart in his ears. He doesn’t see the light glint off of blades as they’re pulled from scabbards. He doesn’t feel the threat of others getting closer over the dread of what he’s just done.

He’s killed himself.

He used magic to hurt one of the knights of Camelot.

He revealed himself in front of Arthur.

What have I done?

“Sire, what do we do?” He hears the voice from a mile away. “I’ve never killed a sorcerer before.”

Never killed a sorcerer before.

He’s asking Arthur how to kill a sorcerer.

Arthur knows how to kill a sorcerer.

Arthur has killed a sorcerer before.

Arthur is going to kill me.

Merlin shies away from them, curling up into a ball before realizing that could be seen as defiance and whimpering, throwing himself to his knees with his hands raised.

“I’ll go,” he croaks, “I’ll—I’ll leave, you’ll never see me again, just—just let me go. Banish me instead.”

Please, just let me run.

He can’t look at Arthur’s eyes, filled with rage and contempt like Gareth as he strikes him down. He can’t look at him like that, he can’t do it. He won’t survive that alone. It wouldn’t be the sword that kills him.

“Please—please, I’ll go. I’ll go and you’ll never see me again,” he begs, “just—just let me go.”

“Pathetic,” another one of them says, “is that the best he can do? I’ve seen a dog beg better than that.”

Arthur still hasn’t said anything.

“We need to kill him, sire,” Gareth says—oh, he must’ve gotten up— “who knows what he could do?”

Merlin finally looks up, if only to see how close they all are, and his eyes lock with Arthur’s.

He can’t see any of the man he knows.

“Return to camp,” says the stranger who wears Arthur’s face, “pack the supplies. We must make ready for a hasty retreat back to Camelot.”

“But sire—“

“Now.”

Two of the knights glance at each other and slowly begin to back away. Gareth remains for a moment longer.

“Be wary, sire,” he says, “he’s tricky. Did his best to seduce me, he’s a wily one.”

“I can handle him. Go.”

Gareth shoots one last truly disdainful look at him before he retreats into the undergrowth, the sheen of his sword the last to vanish.

Then it’s just the two of them.

“Arthur,” Merlin gasps, “Arthur, please—“

“Shut up.”

The words are different. They’re not playful, not irritated, not—not Arthur. They’re cold. Impersonal. An order. They strike Merlin like rocks from a sling, making him flinch into a sharp rock that jabs right through the thin material of his trousers. His throat closes until only pained and pitiful whines can escape.

They remain where they are for a long moment before Arthur begins to retreat as well, sword still held aloft, backing away until he’s far enough that Merlin can hardly see him. Only then does he turn.

Merlin watches the single spot of red walk away from him until it vanishes into the forest.

His magic tingles in the tips of his fingers and a soundless yell burns his throat as he shoves his hands against his chest, trying to make it go away, this is all your fault, you ruined everything, you always ruin everything!

He has to run. He has to run because sorcerers die in Camelot, they’re put to the sword or burned at the stake and he can’t look at Arthur while he kills him. He can’t. He just can’t. He’d sooner die of that than whatever execution they can dream up.

With stumbling and clumsy steps that are dragged down by his traitorous magic that for some reason doesn’t want him to flee from the site of his execution, he scrambles to his feet and runs.

If Arthur—if Arthur finds him after this, he can say he tried to run. He can run again, he’ll keep running. He’ll spend his life running if it means Arthur won’t kill him and he won’t have to see it.

He runs harder and faster than he’s ever run before because Arthur is a warrior who’s been trained to kill since birth and he’s stronger and faster and can run for longer and if he catches Merlin—

He loses track of where he is. He just runs.

But his magic, his damned magic, that has always loved Arthur more than it loves him, won’t let him.

Like a tether from his navel that twists through the forest, he knows exactly where Arthur is. And exactly when he starts to give chase.

A wretched sob tears itself from his throat and he pushes on, his magic dragging him back each step as Arthur gets closer, closer, closer, and he’s no longer just hearing his own breath and phantom footsteps as he crashes through the woods. He can hear the snapping of twigs, the rustling of leaves, and that voice.

That damned voice.

“Merlin!”

He can’t stop. If he stops he dies. If he stops Arthur kills him. If he stops he—he—

His magic all but throws him over a root and he yelps, turning into a frightened scream as he’s pitched down a hill and into a boulder with a crack.

“Merlin!”

Leaves rustle as Arthur skids down the hill after him and he’s so close, he’s right there and Merlin has to run, he has to run now, but his legs are shaking and his arms won’t work and his magic keeps tugging him back toward Arthur and he just collapses into a useless, cowering mess at Arthur’s feet.

“Merlin!”

“No—no fire,” he gasps out, “please, you—you can do it here, I won’t fight, I won’t—you can use your sword, please, no fire, I don’t want to burn—please, no fire—“

A strong hand grips his shoulder and pulls him in to—

No sword pierces his chest. No dagger finds a home in his gut. There are no hissed words, no glares, no low solemn speeches about magic as a plague.

He can’t even see Arthur anymore. Just the hill. There are two tracks in it. One where he fell and one where Arthur skidded after him. Red fabric flutters in front of him too. Arthur’s cape.

Why can he see Arthur’s cape?

Only when a head turns and breath starts to puff over his neck does he realize what’s happened.

“A-Arthur?”

“Don’t you ever,” Arthur says in a rush, chest still heaving against Merlin’s where he’s pulled him flush against him, legs tangled in a heap, “scare me like that again.”

He’s…he’s in Arthur’s lap. Arthur’s holding him. Arthur’s hugging him.

Arthur has his face buried in Merlin’s neck and he’s telling him not to scare him like that again.

“Arthur?”

“You,” he says, and he sounds like Arthur again—a very angry Arthur, but at least it’s Arthur— “are the biggest idiot I’ve ever met.”

He pulls back and his eyes are still on fire but he’s looking at Merlin like a starving man.

“Why did you run? You could’ve been hurt! You were hurt, you slammed into the rock like it broke your back.” He runs a hand over Merlin’s spine as if reassuring himself Merlin’s not hurt. “You idiot, I almost lost you.”

Merlin just blinks. Almost…lost him? Doesn’t Arthur want to kill him?

“Well?”

Oh. Arthur’s waiting for an answer. “Aren’t you going to kill me?”

Arthur’s face goes white, slack in horror, then contorts anew in red rage. “No, Merlin, I’m not going to bloody kill you.”

“B-but you—“

“I didn’t want the others to try, you absolute petticoat,” he says, still glaring, “because you’re a little lamb who rolls over whenever anyone is trying to fight you except me—which is rude, by the way—and you wouldn’t so much as lift a finger to defend yourself if they tried!”

…that’s why he sent them away?

Arthur rolls his eyes when he voices that thought. “Yes, Merlin. They’re under the impression that they’re to start back to Camelot without me to gather reinforcements.”

Reinforcements—the knights—no—

“Calm down, you idiot, they’re not actually going to—oh, for the love of—Merlin.”

Merlin listens to that. He freezes in Arthur’s arms as Arthur’s hand comes up to cup the back of his head. He stares at him pointedly, gaze flicking from one eye to the other.

“I lied,” he says slowly as if he’s talking to a child, “so they would leave.”

“You…you did?”

“Yes. Because then I could talk to you about having magic—hey,” he says firmly as Merlin tries to pull away again, “none of that. Stay with me.”

Another order. He can do those.

“Right. I wanted to talk with you about having magic so that now we can work together to keep things like this from happening and—where are you going?”

“What do you mean now,” Merlin asks, eyes widening as he tries anew to struggle away from Arthur, “what does that mean?”

“Merlin, I’ve known you’ve had magic for a while now, and—“

“You what?”

“Come on, you’re not exactly good at hiding it all the—hey!”

Merlin had flailed, succeeding in loosening Arthur’s grip and sending them both falling over. He scrambles up, trying to claw his way free but Arthur is faster and he’s on him in an instant.

“This isn’t working,” he hears Arthur growl to himself before arms like steel bands close around him, hauling his back against Arthur’s chest as legs lace through his and pin him well and truly.

“N-no—“

“Shh,” comes Arthur’s voice, suddenly soft and gentle and Merlin hates the way he instantly relaxes, “easy, now. It’s alright. You’re alright.”

A truly pathetic whine leaves his mouth and Arthur hums.

“I’m not going to kill you,” the gentle voice says again, “I’m not going to burn you and I’m not going to use my sword. You will not die.”

But he’s a sorcerer. Sorcerers die in Camelot.

“I sent away the others to protect you. They’re not going to hurt you either. The knights—our knights—won’t let you be hurt and neither will I.” Arthur’s lips brush the shell of his ear. “You’re safe, Merlin. I’m going to protect you.”

“But,” Merlin gasps, “but I’m a sorcerer.”

“Yes,” Arthur says patiently, “you are. I’ve known that for a while. You are Merlin, you are a sorcerer, and I’m going to protect you.”

“Sorcerers die in Camelot. You—you should kill me.”

“I am not going to kill you. You are mine,” and there’s a hint of steel in his words now too, “and no one is going to touch you.”

His magic thrums in his veins and slowly, slowly his breathing slows.

“If I let you go, will you run again?”

“N-no.”

“Alright.”

Arthur lets him go and Merlin doesn’t run. He lets Arthur turn him around and cup his neck again, the other hand on his shoulder. He doesn’t look mad anymore.

“Is that why you ran,” he asks, still speaking softly, “did you think I was going to kill you?”

When Merlin nods, looking away in shame, he just hums again.

“I’m not going to kill you.”

“I know that now.”

“Mhm. So when we go back—“

“Back?” Merlin’s head jerks up. “You’re not banishing me either?”

“What part of ‘I’m going to protect you’ did you not understand?”

“B-but I thought—“

“No, you didn’t,” he says in that soft voice that makes the insult almost an endearment, “you didn’t think because you didn’t realize that I could never kill you or send you away. I’d sooner leave with you.”

His magic hums as if to verify the truth in his words. “You…you would?”

Arthur frowns, but it’s not an angry frown. “You really don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?”

“How important you are.”

The forest seems to fall silent.

Merlin’s eyes widen so much he’s afraid they’re going to fall out of his head. And Arthur’s just looking at him with his face all sincere and his voice is still soft and his hands are gentle where they hold Merlin like he’s something precious and—and—

“What?”

“All those jokes,” Arthur says, “about you and being replaceable and being the worst and a coward…I never really meant them. Never. Well, you are an awful servant, but none of the others. I don’t want you to leave.”

Slowly, like he’s coaxing a skittish animal to him, he pulls him closer.

“I want you.”

Something in Merlin’s chest breaks and he’s sobbing into Arthur’s shoulder in the next moment, hands scrabbling uselessly at his cape, his armor, his hair, every bit of him that he can reach. Arthur weathers the storm like a castle in a gale, holding him tight enough that he won’t blow away.

“I want you,” he whispers, sweet rain in the clouded sky, “I want you to stay, Merlin.”

————

He’s on his back. He’s got a sword at his throat. Arthur stares down at him like his glare is enough to burn him alive and he’s snarling out Merlin’s name.

“Magic is a plague. You’re poison. You’ve betrayed me. How could you do this?”

Merlin can’t speak. His mouth trapped shut. Arthur lifts the sword.

“You’re nothing but an inhuman beast,” come the words that hurt far more than any mortal weapon, “you, who cannot love, who are of twisted mind and body, you who do not understand what it is to be a human.”

All of the secrets he’d hoped to hide…exposed for the world to see.

“May all of Camelot curse your name,” he growls, “Merlin. Merlin, Merlin—“

“Merlin!”

Merlin gasps, jolting upright, trying to get away from the sword, just run—

“Merlin, calm down,” Arthur says, wrapping his arms around him and coaxing him to his chest, “it’s only a dream, Merlin, it’s only a dream.”

No, no, this must be the dream. Why would he be in Arthur’s chambers, at night, in bed, in bed with Arthur—this can’t be—

“Shh, shh, shh, sweetheart,” Arthur murmurs, lying back down with Merlin in his arms, “I’ve got you. It’s only me. You’re safe.”

“A-Arthur?”

“Yes, sweetheart. It’s me.” There’s a mouth on his neck. “Just me.”

He’s still panting, the run still pushing through his legs. Arthur hums, settling him into the blankets and propping himself up over him.

“Where are you right now?”

“Forest,” Merlin chokes out, “sword. You were going to—to kill me.” He swallows. “Said all of Camelot would curse my name.”

“You’re with me,” Arthur says gently, “we’re in the castle. I’m not going to kill you. Can you see?”

He looks around. There’s the desk. There’s the window. Arthur’s white nightshirt is shining in the moonlight.

“…yeah.” He swallows. “I’m—I’m not abusing you, am I?”

Arthur almost reels back in shock. “What? What on earth are you talking about?”

“I—‘cause I can’t—I can’t love the way that—“

“Stop right there,” Arthur orders, leaning down and cupping his face in his hands, “don’t you give a damn about that, you hear me? I care for you, I’m fond of you, you care for me, you’re fond of me, yes?”

“Y-yes.”

“Then that’s all that matters.”

Merlin swallows again. “And I’m not…wrong?”

“‘Wrong?’”

“…you don’t mind—“ he blushes— “my—my body?”

“Your bod—goodness, Merlin, this must’ve been quite the nightmare.” Arthur shakes his head. “No, Merlin, your body’s yours. You do what you like with it.”

It says something about how rattled he is that he doesn’t reach for any of the jokes he could make right now.

“Hey,” Arthur calls, leaning down and carding his fingers through his hair, “be gentle with yourself, alright? That was a horrible thing that happened, let it heal in its own time.”

“But it’s hard.”

“I know.” Arthur leans over to kiss his cheek. “Trust me, I know.”

Merlin rolls over, wrapping his arms around Arthur as he chuckles in surprise, pulling him into a proper cuddle.

“You just have to stay, then, until it feels better.”

“Oh, Merlin,” he hears faintly as sleep begins to tug at him once more, “you don’t need to make reasons for me to stay. I’m staying with you, sweetheart, for the rest of our lives.”

#merlin #merlin bbc #bbc merlin #fic #dragonbabbles

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cistematicchaos · 1 year

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Sometimes, I’m genuinely just kind of slapped over the idea with how disabled I am. I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday and I actually had to go out for it and it kinda sucked, mostly because I fucking forgot that when I’m in rooms with numerous people in it, I can’t understand what most people are saying, especially when they have masks on.

It just sounds like jibberish to me, which makes answering questions really fucking hard and apparently annoys a lot of people. It’s moments like that where I realize how disabling that is (I don’t know what you call it, but I call it A Disability), standing in line, in a decently quiet waiting room, with a nice nurse asking you questions and you’re trying to figure out what the fuck she’s saying even though you know you understand the language she’s speaking, it’s just your brain has fucking given up on you.

She, and the other nurses, were actually really nice about it, which is a nice change because my primary care doctor is a complete dick over it. But it was still just kind of exhausting, standing there with my cane, in a fuck-ton of pain, for another dumbass appointment that will go nowhere, only to find yet another barrier in front of me put there by my own fucking brain.

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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halloiambored · 2 years

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Random Snippet

CW: inspired by my roommate’s friend. I swear I almost died overhearing their conversation. Includes drinking as a coping mechanism and colorful word choice (it’s accurate to the og).

“You are my biggest character flaw.”

“No, nuh-uh, you have way worse flaws than being friends with me.”

“So we’re friends now?”

“No fucking shit we are. Best friends. Even though you’re —”

“Don’t finish that thought. Admit it, you are clearly more messed up than I am,” muttered Hero, eying the tipsy Villain seated at the bar besides them.

“Nope, not true.”

“Seriously?”

Sighing, Villain’s head slumped into their forearms - right after (as Hero keenly noted) they rolled their eyes in annoyance. The bastard.

“I mean, you’re not wrong. I just don’t remember them…”

“And why is that?”

“Mmmm - alcohol? Fucker.”

“That’s rude, Villain. Damn, I can’t even get on your case for being bad at your job, can I?”

“For fucks… shit, I’m the hardest working person at the organization, don’t you dare —”

Hero responded before the string of half-sensical explicatives could continue. “You’re not wrong, guess you’re a functional alcoholic.”

Finally sitting back up, Villain looked over at Hero with hazy eyes. “Hhhmph, I’m a highly functional alcoholic.”

Not even trying to hide their laugh, Hero took another sip of their water - smiling against the glass.

“Hey, Hero?”

“What?” They turned, shifting away slightly as Villain leaned in - resting the top of their head against Hero’s shoulder.

“Buy my drink?”

“Why?”

“I don’t have a card on me.”

“What kind of person—?!”

Casually, Villain yawned and pulled away, arms going in every direction, “I’m a villain, and I don’t even have one, smart ass.”

“How do you not have a debit card?!”

“I don’t believe in them.”

“….”

“Or stocks.”

“So, what, you’re never going to invest? Do you even have a savings?”

“Uhh, savings… kinda. No investing, I’m just going to work for it, day to day.”

“Until you die?”

“Duh.”

“Sounds terrible.”

“It’s literally what everyone does.”

“No, some people make money in their sleep. And you’re one to talk, you hate your job.”

“And I’d still rather be doing it than nothing.”

“You’re a dumbass, Villain. I mean, would you rather work a job you hate - that gets paid more - or get a job you actually like?”

“Hell yeah,” Villain slurred, adamant in their decision. “If it pays more, it’s worth it..”

Hero glared at their grammatically correct phrasing as pieces started clicking into place. “You’re such an idiot. It’s not that hard to find a decent job.”

“Why would I settle with decent? Sssome people are just so fucking lazy.”

“Passive aggressive much?”

“Pretty sure that was just aggressive.”

“You make me sound useless - I have two jobs, asshole. I’m just smart enough to find good ones that pay well. I can’t believe you think like that, I could never.”

“… you clearly haven’t discovered alcoholisom.”

“Oh my god, you’re terrible.”

“I’m fucking fantastic and you know it.”

Hero was laughing again, in accordance with the banter at hand. They slid their card to the bar tender, closing Villain’s tab and snagging their half-empty drink away from them.

When Hero saw the bill, their expression morphed into shock, and Villain doubled over in a hysterical bout of amusement. “How many of these have you had?”

“You’re eyes—” that’s all they could say before another giggling fit overtook them. “Holy shit, you’re hilarious. I think I love you.”

Choosing to temporarily ignore the proclamation, Hero continued arguing with their face aflame, “How do you drink this much? You’re going to die, my god, Villain.”

Eyes bright, Villain’s arms wrapped around Hero as they melted into a hug. Shoulders still shaking, Villain mumbled, “My boss is an absolute fucking shithead, you can’t blame me.”

“Damn right I can,” they mumbled, choosing to accept the hug with a small sigh. “You owe me, and I’m holding you to that the next time you’re sober.”

#original #hero x villain #writing prompt #I haven’t laughed that hard in a while #dudes hilarious

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ryswritingrecord · 2 years

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The Never Ending Pain of Loving a Friend; Chapter 1

Part 2

School fucking sucked. That's all that I could think about as my English teacher droned on and on about whatever Shakespeare book the class was reading next. I can't wait to go smoke a blunt with Elliot at lunch.

There are 3 things I liked about school; math class, smoking without the chance of being caught by my parents, and Elliot. I really, really liked Elliot. Probably more than someone should like their best friend, but that's what happens when you fall in love with someone. I've known who Elliot was since kindergarten, but we didn't become friends until fourth grade. That's what happens when you have no friends, you know who everyone is.

Unlike most loners, I’m not shy, I don't not care about school, and I don't avoid people. In fact, I try so hard to have friends, but when you live in a town full of kids who didn't care about school and had their best friends for life picked out at age 3, it was hard to make friends. Not to mention, the severe case of nerd-itis and the autism diagnosis didn't help matters. So my best friend became food, and stayed my best friend even after meeting Elliot.

Anyway, back to the important thing; being in love with your best friend of 7 years. Many people would never understand why I am so in love with him. On the outside he's the loser pothead who's going nowhere in life, but to me he's kind, understanding, caring, artistic, funny, attractive, and smart, but not book smart, although he does do decently well in school, he's more real life smart.

I spend the rest of class day dreaming of being with Elliot. How he would hold my hand everywhere, how he would always know when I needed a hug, how he would kiss–

“Class dismissed. Have a good rest of your day everyone.” My teacher says. I most definitely will not Ms. Maloney, but thanks for the sentiment anyway.

“Selene, can you come here for a minute?”

Great. Just fucking perfect.

“Selene, your paper on The Tempest is still missing and it's been due for a week. When will you be turning that in?” She asks in an accusatory tone.

“Oh yeah. Sorry Ms. Maloney, I've just been really stressed out with my mom's medical problems and my brother just had a baby so we've been helping them out.” I say, laying the excuses on thick.

“Oh.” She says, taken aback. “Well, if you would like, I can give you an extension for a week, but that's the most I can give you.” She offers.

“Yes, that would be perfect, thank you so much. I promise I'll get that in as soon as I can.” I say as gratefully as I can manage. I really need to smoke right now.

“Ok. See you in class tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.” I say, heading to your locker as fast as possible to drop off my morning books when I see Elliot waiting for me.

“Hey. Where were you?” he asks, “You're usually here before me.”

“Yeah, stupid English teacher was on me about my paper. Speaking of, are you done with that yet?” I say slightly annoyed. Elliot and I had an arrangement; I did his math, he did your English, and you both worked together on history and science.

“Ah shit, sorry. I completely forgot about that.” He says apologetically, “I’ll get it done before the weekend though I promise.”

“Dude you smoke too much, you're always forgetting shit.” I jokingly state as I roll my eyes.

“Yo shut the fuck up, you smoke almost as much as me.” He accusingly states, “Now, do you want to split a joint or not?”

“Obviously, why else would I still be talking to you?” I say as you elbow him, heading towards the back exit the janitor, Mr. Gregson, leaves open for me in exchange for books.

“Fuck you Selli, you know you love me for my amazing personality and sense of humor.” He says tauntingly.

Yeah I do.

“No I don't, dumbass.” I shoot back. “And stop calling me Selli, you know how much I hate that”

”Sure.” He doubtfully scoffs at me. “And never. I’ve been calling you Selli for 7 years now, I will never stop”

When we get outside he asks the question he does every day.

“So how's home going?’

“Oh you know the usual. Mom is in so much pain she can’t get out of bed, dad being a narcissistic prick. Oh, they want me to start a new diet, no carbs, no grains.” I state as nonchalantly as I can.

He passes me the blunt after taking a few drags. I take a couple hits.

“What the fuck? I never understood your parents' obsession with making you lose weight, there's literally nothing wrong with you at all.” He states, voice full of irritation and disbelief.

I pass the blunt back to him.

“I don't think so either, but you know what the doctors say. All my problems physically and mentally are from my weight.”

“I mean, I would say at least some of your mental issues are from all the fucking trauma, but that’s just me.” He says, letting as much sarcasm as possible stain those last few words.

He hands me the blunt and motions for me to have the rest.

“I know. It just sucks cuz I wanna be home in my room, but I don't want to deal with my parents.”

“You could come stay at my house tonight” He offers even though he’s told me I can come over whenever, I don’t need permission.

Elliot’s house was like a second home to me. My safe haven. It was my absolute favorite place on Earth.

“My parents would literally murder me, it’s a school night.” I say, even though I wish I could just move in with him. He's offered it before, but my parents would never allow me to be in a situation where they can’t control me.

“Just tell them you're studying all night with Lexi. She’ll cover for you, won't she?” He asks, knowing I've used that excuse before.

“Yeah, that's true.”

“Come on. We can smoke and you can paint while I play, and then we can cuddle if you want.”

Even though I would love that, and it will probably happen anyway, I can’t let him know just how much you want that.

“Ew no, you perv.” I jokingly scoff at him.

“Uh huh, sure.” He says doubtfully. “Hey we gotta get to class. Meet me at my car after school?”

“Ok. see you in a bit.”

I’m so happy he gave me an out from my parents. He always does though, because he always knows exactly what I want and need. He knows everything about me. Elliot and Selene; never one without the other. He's my person, and I’m his. In every sense of the word.

#elliot #euphoria #elliot euphoria #oc #plus sized #neurodivergent #autistic

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blank-doc · 2 years

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Qianna: Character Rambling

Been thinking about this lady more and more for a while since I’ve been utterly obsessed with Devil May Cry (that teenage fangirlism hit back hard when I poked at DMC5 lmao), which is where she’s found a home in when it comes to day-dreaming. xD

As of now Qianna (sometimes also referred to as Qiqi [Kiki]) is a witch and devil hunter that had her soul forcefully infused with demon souls when she was a teen. This allows her to freely use magic without needing some sort of medium, rituals, or deals/contracts with demons. However, she has to continue to consume demon souls in order to continue using her magic because utilizing her abilities burns through the souls. Kinda basing my logic on the idea in Visions of V that an unhosted demon soul would die and disappear (thus why Griffon wanted to establish a contract with V). In Qiqi’s case, since the demons in question didn’t agree to use her as a host, their souls are kind of in a limbo while she holds onto them; they got a longer shelf-life than normal, but they do decay over time, especially when magic is being used.

Oh, also~ some of the magical abilities she is able to use depends on the specific type of demon soul she’s burning through, and they have special physical manifestations connected to that too. So like…if she’s using the soul of a Green Empusa, she’d be able to do things like healing and sustained hovering (maybe have green transparent wings or something), or a Riot soul would create claw gauntlets over her own arms and hands. It’d look pretty similar to Nero’s wings/arm things when he’s not in full DT mode. :3c I’m sure that means nothing.

Qianna isn’t…thrilled with this ability. Her mother forced it on her when she was young, thinking it’d be a good way for Qianna to have a fighting chance against the demons and other enemies that tend to harass their family line. Qiqi and her mother come from a long line of psychics and hunters that have been a thorn in many-a-paranormal-entity’s side. However the soul infusion shit just ends up making Qianna an even bigger target (all that demonic energy just attracts more to her).

I’m not yet sure how she and Vergil meet when they’re teenagers. One idea I had was Vergil sought her mother out for information or a way to hide his energy from demons that hunt him or soooomethiiiing? This part is fuzzy ‘cause I still am trying to get an idea of what the heck Vergil was doing from when his family was attacked to visiting Fortuna and DMC3 events. If someone wants to tell me any factoids I haven’t found out yet about Vergil’s childhood/teen years, feel free to ramble about it to me, or give me a heads up that it’s all just up to fan speculation at this point.

But anyway! Qianna isn’t a ball of sunshine, but she is a wise-ass (would she fit into the DMC universe if she wasn’t? lmao), so they get along about as well as you’d expect at first. Vergil spends a decent amount of time around her (he comes and goes like a stray cat) and, in his own dumbass stoic way, warms up to her presence. Their bond fully kicks off though when Vergil happens to drop by when Qianna’s mother is performing the spell to merge Qiqi’s soul with several demons’. Unfortunately, he shows up too late to force a stop to the ritual (once it starts, it’s too dangerous to the target of the spell to stop it), but once it’s done, he’s quick to step in and take Qianna away from her mother while she recovers from the traumatic (and incredibly painful) event. At this point in his life, Vergil still believes that Eva abandoned him to die, so seeing a mother basically torture her own child to near death lit a bit of a fire under his ass.

Once she fully recovers, she tentatively asks Vergil if she can stick with him, at least until she has a more competent grasp on her new abilities to look out for herself (‘cause oof…she is Rough at first lmao). They’re not exactly Supah Besties at this point, so she’s not quite sure how he’ll respond to her request; deep down she’s mostly just afraid of being on her own. Vergil ends up agreeing though, and they end up sticking together even after her skills increase (causevergildoesn’tlikebeingaloneeither).

Naturally, they become much closer as they travel together. Vergil learns to appreciate the bit of levity Qianna brings to his daily life; she never manages to get him to full-out laugh or anything, but she can bully a smile out of him from time to time. Qiqi manages to sneak her way into being the one person Vergil intrinsically trusts to watch his back (the fact that she’s plenty competent in a fight along with being so handy with spells [and seal-breaking in particular] helped a lot in his growing tolerance of her). But haha that doesn’t last.

Now, the reasons why Vergil was in Fortuna and WHEN he’s there seem pretty fuzzy. It’d make so much sense of Arkham’s mansion (and therefore the library that Vergil peruses when they first meet) to be in Sparda Cult Land, but…alas, that doesn’t seem to be the case as far as canon is concerned. So I kinda do an ass pull on why Qianna and Vergil meet up in Fortuna. I’d say they meet Arkham in all his icky glory, Qianna doesn’t trust Arkham at all and wants nothing to do with the man, period. However Vergil is more open to using Arkham for his own gains. So maybe Qiqi suggests they at least cover their asses and do some of their own research into the Temen-ni-gru to see if Arkham is actually on to something or completely full of shit. She goes to ahead on to Fortuna on her own since I imagine it’s like…The Place for information about Sparda and Vergil meets up with her there. (Yeah! I’m ignoring random Fortuna girl swooning over our favorite weeb lmao. Any girl can and probably has done that, she ain’t special bahaha. Qianna probably sees it go down and makes fun of Vergil for being such a lady killer IDK.)

Anyway, she probably finds some sort of information about Temen-ni-gru, and they end up sticking around to look into the Order because hey they’re weird and worth oogling. Annnnd obviously this is where they end up conceiving Nero. I imagine Qianna and Vergil have already had sex several times prior to Fortuna (I mean…they’re a pair of good looking teenagers…hormones a-raging and all xD), so it ain’t nothing special, just study break things lmao. They leave Fortuna together and return to Arkham’s mansion, and this is about where shit falls apart. I wouldn’t put it by Arkham to gaslight Vergil into pushing Qianna away (“she’s a weak human and she makes you weak blahblahblah”). Qianna still isn’t buying Arkham’s whole story and I’m sure the clown knows it, so better to get her the fuck out before she can ruin his plans by talking sense into Vergil.

So yeah, the last time Vergil and Qianna see each other until decades later they have a nasty fight and Qiqi gets kicked to the curb with a pretty much shattered heart. We love the angst bahah.

She ends up returning to Fortuna after she finds out she’s pregnant, finding the town safer for her to have the baby since the Order exists and keeps demons at bay pretty well at this point in time. Her powers still attract demons, and she has no one else to turn to for help at this point in her life, so Fortuna is the best option for her to be in a vulnerable state. She opts to have Nero even after the bad break off from Vergil because dammit if she still doesn’t have Feelings for the asshole. Qianna originally planned to keep and raise Nero, but after he was born, she fully realized just how ill-prepared she was to not only take care of a baby, but keep them both safe from demons and other unsavory types. Reluctantly, she decides to hand him over to an orphanage in Fortuna. She does drop by the town once in a blue moon to discreetly check on Nero as he grows, but keeps her distance.

Qianna is a Youpla Dolls Alize Lupita in chocolate skin.

#singull talks OCs #my oc: qianna #dmc oc #devil may cry oc #nero’s mom #dmc nero’s mom

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