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eyelessfaces · 2 months

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about time we found each other again.

leto atreides x reader

summary: even years after your wedding got called off, leto is not sure he truly really got over you.

warnings: implied cheating (I am so sorry lady jessica I love you), death of a parent, angst, probably inaccurate dune lore stuff my most sincere apologies I did my best

tags: f!reader, arranged marriage, first love, love confessions, estrangement, time jump where the second part takes place a few years before the first movie (this doesn't matter at all tbh)

word count: 2.1k

this is my first time writing for leto so I hope he's alright lol<3

When you came to meet Leto Atreides for the first time, it was instantaneous; maybe you couldn't rightfully affirm it with conviction yet, but some deep part of you immediately knew that you desired him to be the one by your side for the rest of time.

He had been the only other person around your age when you and your family attended a special meeting on Caladan, and you could very well feel your heart beat faster and your cheeks burn hot at each of his furtive glance thrown your way and each slight smirk over either of your faces when your gaze met his.

Maybe leaving your home land and being sent to eventually move to Caladan wouldn’t be as bad as you had thought, after all.

And it wasn't. You quickly, borderline scarily quickly fell in love with Leto, you were sure of it by now. His manners were those of a man of respect, and he was kind and compassionate, he didn’t have the over excessive pride you would expect from a destined duke.

And ultimately, you grew to also be almost pretty sure that he felt the same way towards you, from the way he listened to you with no feigned interest whenever you shared stories with him, from the way his warm brown eyes so gently looked over at you, from the way he always made sure you were treated right.

You remembered it to be a warm evening when he officially confessed his love to you.

You had been walking mindlessly through seemingly never ending fields, talking about anything and everything for what felt like a lifetime, eventually stopping to lay down and watch the sun set.

Leto had settled on gently putting flowers in your hair while you told him about your childhood on your home land, smiling radiantly as he admired you lovingly, brushing your cheek with the back of his hand before he leaned in to kiss you.

Your own hand was quick to find his dark curls neatly slicked back as he hovered over you, the tip of his fingers delicately tracing your face and neck before he pulled away from your lips when it became absolutely necessary.

From there, the sunset and everything else became insignificant, everything could be crumbling around you and you wouldn’t pay it any mind; nothing mattered, not when Leto promised to love you until his very last breath here in the middle of nowhere.

So when you eventually had your parents visit you on Caladan and announce to you that you had been sent there for them to agree with the Atreides upon arranging a marriage with Leto, you couldn’t be happier and it couldn’t be more convenient; you would have chosen him anyway, if given the choice.

Leto had the competence of making everything seem so easy, and he turned out to be quick to ease your worries about your upcoming future as a duchess.

Even under the looming political pressure of your marriage, this wedding meant a starting point for the rest of your life, a part you could not wait to share with him, even if it meant a lot of responsibilities and changes.

Then so suddenly, all at once, it all fell apart, everything.

It was late in the night when you and Leto were laughing and dancing, rehearsing for the forthcoming wedding. Servants had knocked onto your shared room door, and Leto’s hand left your waist as he scurried away to answer the door, opening and making way for them to enter the room.

They came in with a polite nod, one of them unrolling a parchment letter, reading out loud to the both of you.

The letter was from your father, announcing the news that your mother had died while on a mission, resulting in the need of your presence at your home land to take over her legacy and responsibilities for a while.

You didn’t understand what it involved right away, maybe from the shock of the sudden, dreadful news, the loss of your mother too hard to swallow.

You didn’t understand that it meant that you and Leto were bound to be no more, that either of you were now assigned to different fates and responsibilities, that the marriage was therefore called off for the moment being.

And you quite certainly didn't realize that the night you spent tossing and turning around your shared bed with eyes wide open until the sunrise was the last night by his side, that the morning you left was the last time you would see him.

Until years later, what felt like a lifetime.

When you came back to Caladan for political and business reasons, it was only because of the absolute necessity of your presence, otherwise you wouldn't have shown up.

Finding him again after so long drowned you right back again in the same hollow feeling you endured the moment you were drawn apart years ago, and while you mirrored his polite nod and smirk, you couldn't help but still feel the pain of being estranged so brutally, of seeing him again after so many years.

He was wearing the slowly appearing gray streaks of hair beautifully, and the beard suited him like he was made for it; it made his handsome face look a bit more harsh and severe, but he was a duke now, after all.

You lightly cleared your throat as you made your way to leave the meeting once it was over, troubled as you could feel the weight of his gaze burning holes through you all along. You could feel your heart pound through your ribcage the exact same way it used to when he held you when you were younger, and you ultimately came to the rotten conclusion that your stay here in his presence would be a tough, challenging time for you, and that dwelling on the past had been a bad idea, exactly like you had anticipated it to be.

—

It was wonderful out there, just like you had remembered it to be. The view from the balcony offered you an endless panorama over Caladan and its lush lands, and while you loved your home land with your whole being, you couldn’t deny missing living on Caladan.

The fresh breeze of the night was nothing but pleasant, and even though you were slowly starting to feel goosebump growing over your skin, you figured the view of the sun starting to set was more important.

“I thought I could stay focused while in your presence.” you recognize his voice all too well, and you wonder if the shiver running down your spine is caused by his sudden apparition or the wind hitting you. “I was deeply wrong”

“Leto,” you chuckle sheepishly, blushing as you turn around and face him.

A bittersweet smile has quirked upon his face, and he steps further and approaches you. The years have been unkind to him, lines of wisdom and experience growing upon his face transforming him into a man hardened by duty. Yet, beneath the rough facade, you can still see the eyes and soul of the man you once knew and loved.

“Why only now?” he asks, a certain helplessness painted across his face.

“What?”

He sighs as he looks away, licks his lips as he walks besides you and grips the barrier of the balcony with both hands. You only hear the wind as you watch and wait for him to do, to say something.

“This should have been yours. All of this” he mutters, gaze fixed on the sight before him. The clouds look like cotton ripped apart and spread through the wide sky, and the sun setting over Caladan turns them into an abnormal color, one you wouldn't even be able to define. “I waited for you.” Leto declares, head turning to look back at you like he is trying to figure out how you feel or waiting for you to say something.

Your eyes close as a small exhale leaves your mouth. “Why should it matter now, Leto” you scoff, turning away to try to escape his gaze, heavier than you remember.

“It has always mattered” he declares, following your steps as you try to inch away from him. He calls your name in a weak plea, his hand coming to rest over your arm. “Look at me. Please”

You do. You turn back to him, and he looks at you like you will be slipping away from him any moment now, like you're just a ghost, like you're water in his bare hands. “Tell me you did not think of me all those years and I'll leave you alone.” he whispers feebly, face close to yours as he still holds onto your arm, and you can feel your breaths mingling from how close he is to you.

His unwavering gaze is locked on yours, desperately waiting for you to say something. Eventually, your lack of response speaks for itself, and he nods slightly. “That's what I thought.”

“Leto.”

His hands come to cup your face, holding it steady as with a sigh, his forehead rests against yours. Your eyelids fall shut under the weight of it all and you exhale softly, your hand wrapping around his wrist, stroking along his forearm.

“I have loved you since I met you. I should have found you and married you regardless.” he mutters, barely louder than a whisper. His declaration makes something flutter deep in your core, and you grimace like his words feel sour to hear. You should have done it differently, should have come back to Caladan after everything went back to normal after your mother's death.

“And your wife?” you rhetorically ask, with a dubious scoff.

“She's not– we never married.” he shakes his head, pulling away from your forehead to look back at you, your hand falling to your side again when you let go of his arm. His gaze and the way his eyebrows are angled weakly are conveying everything you need to know, confirming every conclusion you made.

Your lips part slightly, some part of you refusing to believe in what he's indirectly telling you, refusing to believe that he gave up on some part of his life waiting for you.

“We were promised a marriage together, a life together” he continues, taking hold of your hand, fingers lacing with yours tentatively. “I always hoped you would come back and we would resume our life together where it stopped.”

“Now still?” you weakly ask, equally pained and somehow flattered that he never really got over you.

Again, the lack of answer and his previous actions prove the point, and you hold his hand tighter when you swallow with difficulty. Your other hand slightly trembles when you reach to touch his face, settling to rest at his bearded cheek, and you smile weakly as you trace the lines that you never got to witness appear.

“We were so young” you smile, drawing one out of him. The corners of his lips turn upwards as his hand covers your own over his face, pulling it to bring it to his mouth to kiss your knuckles softly, the feeling of his warm breath over your skin taking you years back.

“Don't go back.” he begs against your hand, his voice wavering a little. There’s a glint in his eyes as his gaze darts up at you that makes it impossible for you to consider refusing and giving up on him again. “You belong here.”

Your eyebrows knit in uncertainty as you tear your gaze away from him, looking at the endless view again. You can't help but overthink every consequence coming back to Caladan is going to involve, for you as much as for Leto, and especially for his own concubine that is at this point already long forgotten by him.

This is unfair, but some part of you acknowledges your younger selves feelings and remembers how devastated you were to leave him; leaving again while knowing that he still cares after so many years and regrets not marrying you may hurt even more.

“This will make people talk, Leto.” you wince, looking back at him.

He shakes his head carefreely. “Let them.” he affirms with a dismissive scoff as his hands settle over your hips. You grin softly as he pulls you closer, and a soft exhale leaves your mouth when your arms wrap around his neck.

He takes a while to admire your face, how it has changed despite still remaining the one of the woman he fell in love with long ago.

When he kisses you, it is the exact same way he used to when you were young.

—

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scintillyyy · 4 months

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the steph brown conundrum aka the problem with steph being a character with hugely divergent doylist and watsonian readings

okay, so like. there is always a part of me that feels that to this day, didio kind of won when it came to the destruction of steph's character. like she wasn't a toxic character like he thought before he got his hands on her, but since he did & there was fallout from it, it has completely destroyed dc's desire to do anything potentially interesting with her, even as they've brought her back. like. she will always just kind of be a shell of her former self, doomed to stay uncontroversial and in the background. because when it comes to steph, and the problem with utilizing steph as a character now, you have to acknowledge two things

steph from an editorial and out of universe perspective was treated horrifically. the nonsensical and terrible things they made her do to move along the plot of post-crisis are awful and excessively reckless to the point of intentional character assassination & it was all done to justify her fridging for bruce's (and tim's) manpain which is awful

but the things that steph did as a result of the above are extremely load-bearing and important on plot and character dynamics and motivations from war games all the way to reborn era & to try and remove or minimize things that happened as a result of those actions just because they were arguably out of character from her has the unfortunate result of completely and intentionally warping the characterization of everyone who interacts with her to the point where it negatively affects almost every single other character instead.

so in order to show this we need to start at war games, talk about what happened, & go into how this affects things & why her character assassination is not as easy to fix as cass's or leslie's

so war games. ah war games. you know, having recently reread it, war games is frustrating because it's arguably a semi good event for most everyone except steph and leslie (especially leslie--now that was character assassination.). so let's get into the bare bones of what exactly happens in war games (war games being the three main events of this time: war drums (the prequal), war games proper, & war crimes (the follow up & worst part of the event)) (and i'm not saying i necessarily agree with this, just. this is what we have to consider.)

war drums:

this event has two main stories - the bruce & leslie story and the steph becomes robin story

in the bruce & leslie story (which is definitely racist), we have a young teenage pregnant girl who shows up at leslie's clinic having been shot. leslie attempts to save the girl and baby, but is left in a precarious situation where only one can be saved. she reluctantly calls bruce for help finding the girl's family, who finds out that the girl in question is popstar l'shea's sister--the popstar and her entourage in question kidnap leslie & the girl & bruce finds them, where it's revealed the girl is actually l'shea's daughter (like i said. racist.). l'shea makes the decision to save the baby, which kills the girl. leslie tries to get bruce to see that he can't save everyone, and ultimately gets upset about the cycle of violence she feels he perpetuates when he goes to take mr. freeze back in. she later comes to talk to bruce & it ends on a positive note fairly consistent with the bruce & leslie relationship--one in which leslie wishes he could devote himself to saving lives nonviolently & hoping he could see her as an example. my only quibble is that bruce responds as "ha-ha" leslie when if you compare to the batman chronicles #18, bruce absolutely counts on her to challenge his worldview & be a shining example of what he cannot be.

we do start to see the seeds of character assassination for leslie here imo, though this part is the best understanding of her by far--she's always been a foil to bruce as far as her pacifism and her determination to try and show him that there are other ways than his crusade, but traditionally she's always been defined as well by her immense love for him & he for her. she fundamentally disagrees with his crusade, but she's going to be there for him because she knows there's good in him that's worth saving--because to leslie, every life, including bruce's, is worth saving. anyways, read the batman chronicles #18, where she's determined to use O- blood on zsasz because of her firm commitment to the belief that every life is precious & she and bruce talk about their differences in opinion but how she's determined to keep showing him there's another way & he wants her to do so. this leslie who has, up until this event, been troubled by his crusade--but has decided it's tireless, but worth it to show him the good in people, suddenly seems a lot more, hm. overtly hateful of how batman operates & the fact that he puts criminals back in prison just for them to break out and the cycle to continue & has a sudden desire to not work with him if at all possible because of her total disagreement with his methods. which is. hm. somewhat but not entirely consistent with leslie's motivation. leslie would have no problem asking bruce for help if it meant saving an innocent & the fact that he believes in the redemption of criminals is something she inherently believes in. anyways i digress-

the other main story is, as we all know, the steph becomes robin story. and while you do not have to agree with how it is written wrt stephanie, the barebones of what exactly transpires is thus: tim has quit robin for his dad. he is attempting to live a normal life--go to school, hang out with friends, & not do the vigilante thing even when he sees people in need. he meets up with steph, who tells him of her determination to return to spoiler now that her broken leg has healed & he tells her that it's very hard for him to leave the house on account of jack always being suspicious that he's going out to be robin & be involved in anything vigilante again (it is implied that this is the first time he had been able to get out in a while because of his dad, as he didn't know she got her cast off). one day, when tim is at school, darla aquista, who has a crush on him, kisses him out of the blue. this happens to be seen by steph, who is now officially active again & chooses to be active during the day as a result of wanting to avoid batman as she doesn't have his approval, has gone over to tim's school to check on him because she's suspicious he's hiding something from her other than he's basically under house arrest from his dad atm since it had been so long since she had seen him. it, of course, looks terrible to her and she flounces off--deciding that she's going to become robin. bruce agrees, which everyone--alfred, barbara, eventually tim, etc completely understands to be a scheme to lure tim back. steph proceeds to completely ghost tim for the next two months--he calls and leaves messages, and she never calls back or comes to see him at all--she is completely radio silent & avoiding him and he doesn't know why but he is worried. bruce tells stephanie that she will not be privy to any secrets & the minute she disobeys an order she's out (a double standard, yes, but completely consistent in that he, again, is using her basically only to lure tim back). meanwhile, scarab is hunting tim, killing boys in his age range with dark hair and their families in an attempt to kill robin as there is a contract out for his life. tim then finds out through the newspaper that the reason steph has been avoiding him is because she became robin & calls the batcave to finally talk to steph & ask her to meet so they can finally talk in perso. about what exactly happened and how on earth steph became robin. cassandra comes instead--steph doesn't show up because batman and robin are busy hunting scarab who is trying to kill tim/previous robin & tim needs to be put under protection. steph gets a tracking device on scarab. day 49, bruce and steph go to get scarab, bruce goes in while steph is let behind for support in the batplane, bruce gets blinded, steph disobeys bruce and comes in to help, steph gets caught by scarab, scarab gets away in the batplane because steph forgot to arm the security system. steph officially gets fired 3 weeks later for disobeying an order on day 71.

yea, it's something. but it is what it is.

war games:

so we get to war games proper. overnight, a gang war has erupted & set the city ablaze and into chaos after a letter was sent out calling all the crime bosses to the harbor where a firefight breaks out on account of the main player who was supposed to be there if those letters were sent out, matches malone, not showing up. since tensions are high, it's easy for then to start shooting and killing each other & in doing so creates an immediate and widespread vacuum of power in the criminal underworld of gotham that people leap to try to fill & wipe out their competition in the meantime. innocent people are caught in the crosshairs.

nightwing (who is already having a terrible time) shows up to help (with tarantula) & is personally dealing with the emotional fallout of letting tarantula kill blockbuster amongst other things.

barbara is doing her best to help out and triage people to help, but there's really only batman, batgirl, nightwing, tarantula, & orpheus against a whole city. and at this point, tarantula has taken over a gang under batman's command to try and control things and can't overtly help & orpheus was already in control of a gang under batman's command in an attempt to protect women & children and exert some control over the criminal underbelly of gotham and also cannot overtly help out.

stuff with hush is happening in gotham knights but i don't care aj lieberman, by god, i do not care.

tim is doing his best to go about his day and keep his promise to his dad and not go out to help despite the fact that the city is falling apart. this becomes harder when a rival gang comes to kill his friend darla aquista at their high school, on account of her father being a mob boss. the kids are panicked and run into the school for sanctuary and safety, but are followed in and darla is shot.

what happens next is that tim's school is taken over by gangsters--the ones who came to kill darla, and the ones who see the opportunity to kill the ones who are trying to kill darla--and the kids are trapped in there with them, doing their best to hide, but some are taken hostage & are at the mercy of their captives (kids are killed). tim shelters in the nurses's office & does his best to go out and help who he can bring to safety, alone with getting a lay of the school (which gang is where).

meanwhile, bruce, cass, & dick have been informed that tim's school is taken over and kids are dying. along with all their other current trauma, they have to go find tim in an active shooter zone where he could very well be dead. dick gets to be the one who finds him (such a traumatic time for dick btw), and he's thankfully okay. they get control back of the school and free the kids. batman comes out on live television holding darla's body--she's not dead yet, but she's close.

we find out where steph is. selina finds her and we finally find out why this happened: upset at getting fired and frustrated that she's never been able to truly land their approval, steph lashed out & stole a plan designed to unite the crime families in gotham under batman's control hoping that if she was able to set off a plan for batman & it worked he would take her back and she'd finally have his approval. however, the main man didn't show up and it fell to pieces--doomed to fail. and the reason that this all happened is because steph was never told that batman is matches malone. there's actually a ton of 'bruce what have you done' here. catwoman shelters steph & tells her to stay put. steph does not do so, she leaves so she can try to find orpheus & help get the situation under control because she knows he's key to the plan.

tim, unable to stand by any longer despite his promise to his dad after the thing at the school, returns to the manor where he is greeted by alfred & returns to being robin.

batman finally also realizes that what happened is his war game contigency plan/hypothetical/thought experiment just as a citywide blackout hits--a plan he never intended to implement, it was one of his hypotheticals. & they also start looking for orpheus, as he's the key because they need to keep him alive as the plan was for the criminal underworld to reform united under his, and therefore batman's, rule.. steph finds him first, just in time to see his throat slit--by black mask.

steph gets into a one v one altercation with black mask and is overpowered and at his mercy. he tortures her. it's gross, we all know.

tim tells his dad he's returned to being robin. we get what is probably some of the best jack drake charactetization. tim meets jack and dana so they can go help out at leslie's clinic to help the injured.

steph, eventually, after being tortured, finally tells black mask that the plan required orpheus and is now obsolete because orpheus is dead.

cass is looking for steph because she's probably the only one aware that steph is out as spoiler & she knows that the last time she saw steph steph was lying to her about something

leslie is currently acting extremely out of character. and she's kind of a jerk to cass when cass comes looking for steph & is downright hateful about his mission. (which. is ooc for leslie--while she's never agreed with bruce's mission she's always, always, loved and respected them all--consider her in NML vs here. she wants to end his crusade and him to do something better, but she's always looking to be a beacon of hope that there is another way. every disagreement should be steeped in her love for them).

hush is still here for some reason and will tell black mask where the batcave is

catwoman is concerned about steph--who has passed out from the torture--calling her "the kid you messed up so badly she started this whole mess"

batman takes over oracle's & the police's system by force. we're really in it now. steph wakes up, determined to get to batman to tell him about orpheus's death.

black mask, however, has taken over orpheus's identity and is contacting batman, ostensibly to continue the "plan". and darla officially dies, meaning her father is out for revenge and wants everyone killed.

batman meets up with black mask as orpheus & figures out spoiler was there, but he assumes she fought zeiss. he leaves, black mask is planning...something as orpheus.

batman has barbara take over the police waves once more. barbara is getting really sick if this shit.

gotham city is starting to rail against vigilantes as a result of the widespread chaos of war games, calling for them to turn themselves in.

batman has orpheus call a grand meeting. ostensibly to end things and ensure peace in gotham with everything unified under orpheus's commands. orpheus is, however, dead. black mask uses the meeting to set everything ablaze again & barbaba has to call off the vigilantes from helping to protect the gcpd to go help batman--this is the straw that breaks the camel's back of this causes an official break in the uneasy alliance between vigilante & gcpd and comissioner akins gives the order to shoot to kill vigilantes on sight (as also, as a result of the plan failing due to orpheus's murder it seems as if batman et al are on the side of the villains causing mayhem)

at this point the game it out of control & they have to focus on stopping it. cass finally has a chance to talk to batman and tell him her suspicions that steph was the one who set the entire thing into motion, which he has now figured out (on account of him finding traces of spoilers's at orpheus's)

dick gets shot in the leg by the police while fighting firefly

tim meanwhile is happy to return to robin, and actually has bunch of nice things to say about steph's time as robin--that she kept things light for bruce, that he's not too proud to learn from her--even if he did admittedly resent her a little bit for how it all went down. he's also currently in the middle of a breakdown over darla's death and is pretending everything's okay by just go go going.

steph has freed herself from her bonds and gets into it with black mask, finally overpowering him when she realizes "this isn't a game". she gets a gun to his head & wants to pull the trigger and end him for good, but can't--as that would mean betraying everything she's been taught. the hesitation costs her and black mask gets the gun and shoots her in the shoulder & kicks her down the stairs & leaves

she manages to get herself up despite her extensive injuries and escapes by rooftop, where she's finally found by batman, who brings her to leslie and begs her to save steph. he then tells her she did good & that she did everything she could & that the city owes her after everything she went through.

and black mask is still causing trouble--hush supposedly told him the location of the batcave & he plans to solidify his reign as the undisputed crime lord of gotham by sending everyone there--it's not the batcave, however--it's the clocktower. all the criminals are now converging on and headed for directly for barbara. they get in and make it past all her defenses and invade her safe space, black mask making it to her control room & taking her hostage. the gcpd also descend upon the clocktower.

batman goes ham and almost kills black mask, saying it'd be worth it to end everything that's transpired. tim creates a diversion by lying saying they'll turn themselves into the police. barbara blows up her clocktower so that bruce has to make the decision between saving her & killing black mask. bruce chooses to save her & it's over. bruce gets called to leslie's clinic, where it turns out steph had too much internal damage to save her. steph tells him that she started it all, and bruce says he knows but that they took care of it. he tells her that tim isn't mad at her and that the baby she had won't want for anything ever. he lies and says that taking her on as robin wasn't just to bring tim back, that she was really robin & that he'll be watching over her. she dies. black mask takes over as the new criminal overlord of gotham city.

as a result of all of the above, we get the following: gotham is no longer safe for vigilantes to operate. tim has been set in motion on the path of loss from darla to steph to his dad in another event that will eventually lead him to the mental space he needs to be in to become red robin and leaves for bludhaven. cass follows in her grief of all that transpired. dick is out of commission due to his gunshot wound & dealing with the fallout of working with bruce while feeling like he doesn't deserve to, but is also the only one left to work with bruce. barbara, whose safe haven was trampled upon and destroyed, feels gotham to go be with the birds of prey in another city. bruce is operating all but alone, save for a couple of other distant vigilantes.

we find out that bruce didn't--couldn't--tell tim steph had died until hours after the fact, and that's when tim was finally able to hear the whole story as to how steph became robin all the way to how the gang war got started. this is also when dick finds out the whole story as well.

and thus, war games ends

war crimes:

so we make our way to the epilogue of this storyline. the very aptly named war crimes

the public is still railing against vigilantes. it comes out publicly that stephanie brown was spoiler, then robin, and that her injuries were not thus that should have killed her. batman finds out and goes to leslie's to find out who leaked stephanie's information, only to find out leslie has resigned and her chief resident left with her. batman finds the resident, murdered in a clear attempt to set batman up. (it's black mask setting him up). a man named aaron black is railing against black mask, batman, & the gcpd for the gang war

we find out that treatment was deliberately withheld from stephanie and she was purposely left to die. we find out aaron black is the not so dead arthur brown. & we find out that crystal knows something and is prepared to spill it all. black mask comes dressed as batman to attack crystal brown on live tv. we find out the joker is after black mask for killing robin. the joker gets arrested, black mask gets arrested (and escapes), a tv reporter gets indicted, the leader of the odessa mob gets indicted, commissioner akins and athur brown don't get indicted, and batman has finally figured out who killed stephanie and goes to africa where she fled to.

in, quite possibly, the greatest moment of character assassination in this entire gd event we find out it was leslie who let stephanie die because she was tired of batman's crusade, destroying everything she once stood for just to prove a point to bruce about the senselessness of it all and to try and put an end to it. congrats to dc for this horrific epilogue.

so there it is--the entire event. it certainly is a thing that happened. and that's the problem--it happened. and it was very, very much intended as a personal fuck you and goodbye to the characters of stephanie brown and leslie thompkins. and that's terrible on so many levels. but unfortunately the fact of the matter is, despite that and regardless of any personal feelings about it, war games became a load-bearing event to batman canon.

because war games had so much influence on fundamentally upheaving and changing the status quo of the characters involved and storylines following this could not happen without war ganes existing. without war games, tim does not become the tim that will eventually become red robin. without war games, dick is not injured and out of commission and does not flee to new york and the mob, leaving bludhaven for tim and cass and on his passively suicidal mission that will eventually lead to infinite crisis and the one year boat ride. without war games, barbara does not leave gotham because she needs to leave it behind, only to return during the reborn era & all the tension that entails. without war games, bruce doesn't end up alone & isolated as needed for the red hood storyline. without war games, stephanie is not killed and thus can't be evolved into batgirl as an apology for the way she was treated. the dynamics caused by war games are essential to the stories that come after it. and then you're left with two very, very uncomfortable truths:

one, war games was a horrific fuck you and. fridging to a female character solely because of the evil sexism present at dc editorial at the time and of course you want to delete anything that had such awful intentions behind it

two, war games happening is essential to the trajectory of every single bat characters' story that comes after it including hers. and so it had to happen. and the thing with war games is that steph, while not completely to blame for it transpiring, was humongous part of it transpiring no matter what. because we end up with what it seems to me, the grand circle of blame. it goes as follows: war games never would have happened if bruce hadn't made his contingency plan to begin with -> yes, but. even if it is one of bruce's toxic traits to do that, he never intended for the contingency to go into effect and it was more of a hypothetical than anything and the only reason it ever saw the light of day was because steph stole it and put it into action -> yes, but. if bruce had been less of an asshole and told steph the basic information of matches malone is batman she wouldn't have made the mistake -> yes, but. to completely blame bruce is to remove any and all agency from steph, because nobody put a gun to her head and forced her to implement the plan, that was entirely her decision. and as much as we would have liked her to have decided she no longer needed batman's approval, the fact of the matter is she did want it and she did make the decision to send those letters -> yes but, if bruce hadn't had a contigency to begin with she wouldn't have had such an awful plan to steal -> yes, but having contigencies for plans that will never come to fruition is honestly a normal thing for them and bruce planning out a hypothetical is just another tuesday, and it was steph who set it into motion -> yes, but... and so on and so forth endlessly until the end of time. like, whether things were out of character or whatnot is a valid discussion (though all comics characters are doomed for stories where they're out of character), but putting that aside: the fact is, for every character's trajectory into the reborn era, war games had to happen. and for war games to have ever seen the light of day and happened, steph had to make the decision to send those letters.

and so we're left with this. steph made those decisions because of horrificly sexist behind the scenes decisions. if steph didn't make those decisions, then no other character trajectory makes sense. and that's how we end up with a steph conundrum that is so much harder to fix than any other character assasination of the time. because cass's was easy to retcon as brainwashing, it makes sense for slade being involved. leslie was easy to retcon as faking steph's death, that removes her intent to kill a child and restores her original characterization of every life is sacrosanct. but war games? war games does not and can not happen unless stephanie decides to send those letters. things with tim and barbara and cass and even through steph becoming batgirl don't happen unless steph sends those letters. and when she sends those letters, hundreds of innocent people die and even though bruce is largely to blame (and is blamed, by the narrative), there is a culpability of steph's active decision in the entire mess that exists.

and if that culpability exists, if she sent those letters and war games happened, and innocent people died and barbara had to blow up her home and tim had to do cpr with darla's blood pouring over his hands and dick got shot in the knee and had to find tim in an active massacre, and cass lost herself to grief, then from an in-universe perspective while it's easy to for them to blame bruce for the majority of it, it also is true that every single one of those people has the right to question whether she is capable of making good judgements because of the extremely bad one she made that had so many in-universe consequences & they were all victims of it. from an out of universe perspective, it is so, so, so hard to put that kind of culpability on her, though, because of the sexism involved in deciding to make her make those decisions.

(as an aside. you also get this same issue that occurs as a part of the last arc of the robin series--wherein in order to justify steph no longer being spoiler and graduate her to batgirl, they need her to make a mistake so bad it would justify the idea that spoiler is a tainted mantle & she can't go back to it--so they decide that she needs to hire assassins to try and kill tim under batman's orders. now this is stupid & nonsensical, and she makes a mistake like that due to writer sexism thinking that that was the way to go. but her making that mistake and hiring those assassins is essential to the overall self isolation of tim & him being unable to trust her amongst everyone else that he needs to be in the headspace to kick of red robin & steph needs to have made a mistake that taints the spoiler mantle & makes people not want her to be it otherwise why would she become batgirl... it's messy. very messy.)

but because of all the horrific sexism out of universe behind the decision to write her to do these things, you're left with. hm. it is hard to want to make her have any culpability because that would just be entrenching the sexist writing she's had & she was the biggest victim, but to just completely throw it out is to make every other character appear completely irrational and unreasonable when it comes to dealing with steph. and that's truly hard for dc--who, once they make her a headlining character in her own right as batgirl, now has to be a lot more careful when dealing with steph. because if any other character does have reasonable concerns about steph continuing to exist as a vigilante after the decisions she made that sparked off war games, or hire assassins for tim, or etc etc etc then you risk people being like "no, maybe these people have a point. maybe these people shouldn't have to work with her if they feel at all uncomfortable by decisions she made that resulted in truly terrible times for them."

so you end up. dc finally has to do something grand, something triumphant for stephanie's character to make up for the completely atrocious way she was treated before. and you get batgirl 2009, which is a triumph for her character, it's the approval she's always deserved but never given, she finally gets to show all her naysayers that she's worth it--that they were all wrong about her and she deserves to be there just as much as them. and she does deserve a big doylist apology--she was treated terribly & cruelly & it wasn't right for dc editorial to do so. but you run into. hm. this problem of in order to make this big doylist apology work, you need everything that came before it to have happened. because it's a big doylist apology you can't actually have it that those things to have happened because if steph has to prove herself to the naysayers, the naysayers have to be completely wrong about her.

and that's hard given we're in reborn era and bruce is "dead". because in that case, steph's naysayers have to be barbara, tim, & dick. and while steph shouldn't have to prostrate herself for forgiveness & they shouldn't blame her for everything ever (they've all had their own issues where they've made mistakes, some with tragic consequences, and therefore can't call the kettle black), the problem with having to make them her naysayers is that you have to make them unreasonable about her & that's hard to do when they were all victims of something that occurred in part due to a decision she made. you have barbara, who should be able to have reasonable concerns about whether steph is fit for the job because she had to blow up her own sace space because steph sent those letters. but you can't acknowledge that because that would be entrenching the sexism behind that decision. so you make it so barbara is the one in the wrong about her. you have dick, who should not be able to look at stephanie without remembering his little brother calling him, wanting to commit suicide over everything that's happened, without remembering the tim at the edge of the pit, without remembering getting the call-code 619-and realizing that tim's at the site of a massacre occurring at his school and could be dead, and he gets to realize he was completely wrong about her with no consideration to what complicated personal feelings he may have about her on account of his own most precious relationships. you have tim, who does have things to apologize to her about, to be sure, but has to be cast as completely in the wrong despite the things she did having to have happened such as hire assassins & everything he had to endure as a result of her sending those letters. and that's not to say that any of this means that she shouldn't be a vigilante of course, you can't have a double standard where male characters are allowed to make mistakes and continue on regardless of mistakes made and not afford that same grace to female characters. but at the same time, it's uncomfortable to cast barbaba, dick, and tim in the role of naysayers to be overcome because that erases their victimization by the events that had to have happened in order to make it to this point. and again, they don't have to blame her to feel like it's her fault to have reasonable discomfort because discomfort =/= blame, necessarily.

and you get into this entire mess solely because of the decisions didio made because he hated her character and was determined to destroy it. and it's gross! we hate didio! but like. way back to my original thought, in a way, he did succeed a little. because of the horrific things that happened to her due to cruel and gross out of universe editorial decisions, you do have to be extra delicate with the character. you've lost the ability to show steph making any sort of mistake that has significant ramifications because to do so is to go back to war games & all the baggage that that entails. you need to play it incredibly safe with her. she can't be shown to be in the wrong because of the horrific way she was treated. at the same time, you need things to have happened, but you need things to not have happened. it's just a lot of baggage for a character, and there's probably a reason why they still play it safe by sticking her with tim (until they broke up) and now cass. it's uncontroversial after everything she's been put through. idk. i think current continuity is the best chance to finally really do something interesting with her again given that the mistakes of the past are so softened and don't need to be forefront to the character anymore because we are in an era ripe for things happened but they didn't happen, but will they? i don't know.

#anywho this is probably super incoherent #but this is also the thing i rotate in my mind when i think about steph #this is why i like to envision steph as an unreliable narrator of bg #because then you have more space for the fact that others were also victims and they're not necessarily unreasonable #but since steph is also extremely traumatized and a victim of horrific things she has to not thing about the ramifications of her decisions #or something idk

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ohbo-ohno · 2 months

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hey hey heyyy saw this and thought of youuu

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT83xLH3c/

(completely sfw don't worry) but like, Imagine for one reason or another you desperately need to get married (maybe to qualify for your medieval grandpa's will) but no one wants you for whatever reason so you promptly go down to the gallows where this murderous ex Soldier was to be executed and you are just "he'll do" not aware that he comes as a package deal with his partner who didn't get caught 👀

are you. are you joking. oh my god

thinking about a woman who's got a terrible home life. i feel like either her parents want to marry her off to some guy who's like 80 or they treat her like a workhorse and are super abusive

and to her, quite literally Anything is better than the life she's stuck in. and for a woman in this time period the only real way to escape is to get married. and since no one will marry her (she's poor and everyone knows how her family is).... well there's really only one choice

she definitely proposes to soap, not ghost. the man getting dragged to the gallows is perfectly at ease - shoulders rolled back, easy smile on his lips, you would never think he's being led to his death. there's something in his over all demeanor that makes it almost easy to jump from the crowd and shout a proposal

he's excited, almost ferally so. he grabs your wrist and holds tight, doesn't let you get even a full armlength away from him. that's when you start to think maybe this was a mistake, but it's far too late now. he's also weirdly insistent about the two of you going to a very specific room in a very specific hotel (or whatever they used to be called)

you get a bit more scared every second that goes by, but you're well aware what a man expects on his wedding night - you grew up on a farm, you know how animals mate. it's scary, of course, but you know you'll have to bear it

except when you get to the room, he doesn't try and take you. you know he wants to - there's a tent in his pants that makes your face flame - and he keeps you flush against him. he sits at the table? you're in his lap. you try to go to the bathroom? he stays so close to you that you decide it's not worth the potential humiliation.

he talks your ear off the whole time - tells you how pretty you are, goes into frankly excessive detail about what he likes about every single part of you, tells you how he wants to "stuff you full", says things like "'m not so bad, kitty, know ye must be scared but i'll take care of ye, don't worry" and "just wait til he gets here, then we can get started" and no matter how much you ask who he is he refuses to tell you

he has his mouth pressed against you throat (switching between licking, biting, and talking about how he can't wait to see what's under your skirts) when the door opens, and you realize that you've truly made a mistake

the new man who walks in has to duck beneath the door frame, he's so massive. had he been the one walking to the gallows, you never, ever would have proposed. he's got to be twice the size of you, his face covered, the rest of him filthy and covered in dirt

(((if i had the energy i'd write dialogue here, but anon i am sleepy)))

soap would be soooooooo happy to present you to ghost, is literally drooling and beaming as he grabs you by the hips and hooks his chin over your shoulder, big hands stroking across your stomach and skirts as he says isn't she so pretty?

anyways. you're getting railed that night. hope you like being on the run with two criminals who have absolutely no intention of crossing over to the light side!!

(ghost fucks you first, bc soap needs to learn to be patient with his new toy, but he lets you suck his cock while he waits for his turn. when soap fucks you next, you're laying on ghost's stomach and he wipes away your pretty tears as johnny does his best to break your back. the next day johnny laughs when you're walking with a small limp, and ghost makes him apologize with his tongue <3)

#side note with old weird laws:#there's definitely smth you could do with that old rule that pregnant women didn't get executed #asks and answers #ghoap x reader #bo writes

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forestdeath1 · 2 months

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Canon Sirius through quotes

Part 4. How Sirius shows care towards people and animals.

Sirius has a trait that often seems like irresponsibility or excessive harshness.

Sirius really respects another person's free will and choice and even treats teenagers as adults with their own minds. It's a deeply rooted idea of respecting others as agents of free will.

That's why he has no pity for those who make mistakes, including himself. To him, any mistake is always a person's free choice. Sirius will never forgive Peter because, regardless of Peter's circumstances for betrayal, it ultimately was a CHOICE. He even refuses to forgive the Ministry (as if the Ministry cares, oh Sirius):

‘Don’t worry about Percy,’ said Sirius abruptly. ‘He’ll come round. It’s only a matter of time before Voldemort moves into the open; once he does, the whole Ministry’s going to be begging us to forgive them. And I’m not sure I’ll be accepting their apology,’ he added bitterly.

He tells this to Molly after she encounters a boggart. Contrary to popular belief, in this scene, he doesn't really comfort her after their argument. Lupin does most of the work. Sirius just adds this phrase. He's still angry at Molly for what she said, just acting more maturely and not escalating the conflict further. He's angry because he understands Molly said exactly what she meant. Molly is also angry at him, they generally love to get angry at each other because they don't really understand each other.

They were both speaking in carefully light, polite voices that told Harry quite plainly that neither had forgotten their disagreement of the night before.

He even considers Kreacher an agent of free will.

‘You’d be surprised what Kreacher can manage when he wants to, Hermione,’ said Sirius.

As they say - where there's a will, there's a way. When people say that Kreacher was lower in the hierarchy than Sirius (as any house-elf would be), Sirius himself did not see it that way, and it’s truly paradoxical. He argued with Kreacher, kicked him, engaged in verbal battles, though he could have just given direct orders. Kreacher's insults towards Sirius were similar in style to Walburga's (otherwise, where would Kreacher learn those insults?), and Sirius... Sirius, instead of direct orders, just yells back or kicks him. When Harry gives Kreacher a direct order to shut up, Kreacher obeys instantly. A house-elf must obey the direct orders of their master. But Sirius doesn't give direct orders. Because for him, Kreacher is also an agent of free will (and also some ‘‘member‘‘ of his beloved and hated family, as Sirius is much more attached to the Blacks than he would like to admit).

Because of his attitude towards equals, Sirius fights for Harry to get the information he needs. For Sirius, Harry is an adult, not a five-year-old child who needs to be looked after in the style of Molly. Molly deprives Harry of his agency, his choice, and his own opinion with her overprotection. We have to understand Molly; she really worries for all of them, as half her family is in the Order and can die. She doesn't want to lose Harry, so she tries to protect him in every way. Plus, they all have orders from Dumbledore. Isn't Molly right? Molly has her point, she works for the Order and thinks Sirius could harm with his too "independent" behaviour, and teach Harry this excessive independence. And what does independence from Dumbledore lead to? Molly knows well (and so does Sirius) – last time such "independence" from Dumbledore cost the Potters their lives. I don't want to judge Molly. She's a member of the newer incarnation of the Order of the Phoenix, and a good one at that. Sirius, however, is still mentally in the era of the Order's original incarnation (as is Lupin, though he is more conforming and softer), a time when the rules of engagement were harsher, with much more focus on the grim realities of war. The newer version of the Order operates with different tactics – emphasizing manipulation, cunning, and caution.

Molly and Sirius have different approaches. Molly is about caution. Sirius is about action.

Sirius treats Harry as a subject, not an object to be shielded from information.

Sirius knows where his area of responsibility is and what he can influence, and where he should not interfere:

‘Not just yet, Molly,’ said Sirius, pushing away his empty plate and turning to look at Harry. ‘You know, I’m surprised at you. I thought the first thing you’d do when you got here would be to start asking questions about Voldemort.’

‘I did!’ said Harry indignantly. ‘I asked Ron and Hermione but they said we’re not allowed in the Order, so –’

‘And they’re quite right,’ said Mrs Weasley. ‘You’re too young.’

‘Since when did someone have to be in the Order of the Phoenix to ask questions?’ asked Sirius. ‘Harry’s been trapped in that Muggle house for a month. He’s got the right to know what’s been happen—’

‘How come Harry gets his questions answered?’ said Fred angrily. ‘We’ve been trying to get stuff out of you for a month and you haven’t told us a single stinking thing!’ said George.

‘It’s not my fault you haven’t been told what the Order’s doing,’ said Sirius calmly, ‘that’s your parents’ decision. Harry, on the other hand –’

He doesn't tell the twins anything because it's not his responsibility. But Harry – that's his responsibility. And Sirius believes it's up to him to decide what Harry is allowed to know and what not (considering Dumbledore's instructions "I don’t intend to tell him more than he needs to know, Molly").

‘He’s not your son,’ said Sirius quietly.

‘He’s as good as,’ said Mrs Weasley fiercely. ‘Who else has he got?’

‘He’s got me!’

In the situation with Molly, you see two opposing views clash. Molly, with the archetype of a guardian, wants to shelter everyone with her care. Sirius, with the archetype of a rebel, respects Harry's wishes and wants to open up new knowledge and opportunities for him to fight.

‘He’s not a member of the Order of the Phoenix!’ said Mrs Weasley. ‘He’s only fifteen and –’

‘And he’s dealt with as much as most in the Order,’ said Sirius, ‘and more than some.’

‘No one’s denying what he’s done!’ said Mrs Weasley, her voice rising, her fists trembling on the arms of her chair. ‘But he’s still –’

‘He’s not a child!’ said Sirius impatiently.

Sirius probably stopped considering himself a child very early on. Maybe it came from his conservative family, where children were expected to grow up earlier, not walk around as "little children" until they were 18. They think about marriage, duty to the family, responsibility early on. Plus, wizards come of age earlier – at 17. So, for Sirius, 15 years old is not a child anymore.

That's why Sirius defends Harry's right "to know".

‘But as he was the one who saw Voldemort come back’ (again, there was a collective shudder around the table at the name) ‘he has more right than most to –’

Sirius really encourages taking action. His way of caring isn't about coddling. It's about giving knowledge, opportunities, resources, and supporting in the right direction. For Sirius, to live is to act; he can't be without action, doesn't understand life without it:

‘Personally, I’d have welcomed a Dementor attack. A deadly struggle for my soul would have broken the monotony nicely. You think you’ve had it bad, at least you’ve been able to get out and about, stretch your legs, get into a few fights ... I’ve been stuck inside for a month.’

Sirius can't not act and he doesn't understand how you could do otherwise. He knows Harry is the same because Harry is like his dad, meaning James was the same – always acting.

And he encourages this in Harry. But he always teaches to act with thought, not just charging in. In the 4th book, Sirius was telling Harry not to stick his neck out, but in the 5th, it's the opposite. Sirius has his own logic, which he shows here:

‘So, you want me to say I’m not going to take part in the Defence group?’ he muttered finally.

‘Me? Certainly not!’ said Sirius, looking surprised. ‘I think it’s an excellent idea!’

‘You do?’ said Harry, his heart lifting.

‘Of course I do!’ said Sirius. ‘D’you think your father and I would’ve lain down and taken orders from an old hag like Umbridge?’

‘But – last term all you did was tell me to be careful and not take risks –’

‘Last year, all the evidence was that someone inside Hogwarts was trying to kill you, Harry!’ said Sirius impatiently. ‘This year, we know there’s someone outside Hogwarts who’d like to kill us all, so I think learning to defend yourselves properly is a very good idea!’

‘And if we do get expelled?’ Hermione asked, a quizzical look on her face.

‘Well, better expelled and able to defend yourselves than sitting safely in school without a clue,’ said Sirius.

That's Sirius through and through. A true Gryffindor, who won't just sit around when there's danger afoot. You might argue that he shouldn't have encouraged Harry in this way. But what else was he to do? Hand Harry over to Umbridge? Of course not. He trusts Harry, believes in his potential. He treats Harry as an equal, not as a child, and that's why Harry feels so connected to Sirius – at last, someone sees him as mature enough, respects him as a free person. Throughout the series, Harry has been shielded from the truth, kept in the dark, yet Sirius shows him a different kind of respect – he sees Harry as someone who can act, in whom he places his trust and belief. Is Sirius right? When it comes to Harry – absolutely. As for the war, the Order, and following Dumbledore's orders – Molly would definitely disapprove.

He even passes Molly's words on to Ron. In his sarcastic manner, but still:

… anyway ... first of all, Ron – I’ve sworn to pass on a message from your mother.’

‘Oh yeah?’ said Ron, sounding apprehensive.

‘She says on no account whatsoever are you to take part in an illegal secret Defence Against the Dark Arts group. She says you’ll be expelled for sure and your future will be ruined. She says there will be plenty of time to learn how to defend yourself later and that you are too young to be worrying about that right now. She also’ (Sirius’s eyes turned to the other two) ‘advises Harry and Hermione not to proceed with the group, though she accepts that she has no authority over either of them and simply begs them to remember that she has their best interests at heart. She would have written all this to you, but if the owl had been intercepted you’d all have been in real trouble, and she can’t say it for herself because she’s on duty tonight.’

Again – a striking difference between what Molly understands by care and what Sirius understands by it.

Sirius lets Harry feel that he's believed in, respected, that his actions are encouraged. Sometimes Sirius criticises them, because as much as he encourages action, he believes all actions should be reasoned. Act according to logic, not thoughtlessly.

For instance, Sirius sternly reprimands him in the 4th book when Harry, in his opinion, does something foolish. And notice his communication style. Sirius is often blunt in conversation, in his way of talking, he doesn't sugarcoat. And Harry's okay with that. Sirius isn't one for mushiness.

Harry – what do you think you are playing at, walking off into the Forest with Viktor Krum? I want you to swear, by return owl, that you are not going to go walking with anyone else at night. There is somebody highly dangerous at Hogwarts. It is clear to me that they wanted to stop Crouch seeing Dumbledore and you were probably feet away from them in the dark. You could have been killed.

Your name didn’t get into the Goblet of Fire by accident. If someone’s trying to attack you, they’re on their last chance. Stay close to Ron and Hermione, do not leave Gryffindor Tower after hours, and arm yourself for the third task. Practise Stunning and Disarming. A few hexes wouldn’t go amiss either. There’s nothing you can do about Crouch. Keep your head down and look after yourself. I’m waiting for your letter giving me your word you won’t stray out of bounds again.

That's what care means to Sirius. Not forbidding him from knowing information. But actively helping him so Harry is ready to stand up to challenges.

Or like this:

‘Now, listen ...’ he looked particularly hard at Harry – ‘I don’t want you lot sneaking out of school to see me, all right? Just send notes to me here. I still want to hear about anything odd. But you’re not to go leaving Hogwarts without permission, it would be an ideal opportunity for someone to attack you.’

‘No one’s tried to attack me so far, except a dragon and a couple of Grindylows,’ Harry said.

But Sirius scowled at him. ‘I don’t care ... I’ll breathe freely again when this Tournament’s over, and that’s not until June. And don’t forget, if you’re talking about me among yourselves, call me Snuffles, OK?’

At the same time, he provides Harry with emotional support. Just without the mushiness. There's a sort of rough tenderness about it, making these signs of attention and love seem even more important and pleasant.

‘What’re you doing here, Sirius?’ he said.

‘Fulfilling my duty as godfather,’ said Sirius, gnawing on the chicken bone in a very dog-like way. ‘Don’t worry about me, I’m pretending to be a loveable stray.’

The post owls appeared, bringing Harry a good-luck card from Sirius. It was only a piece of parchment, folded over and bearing a muddy paw print on its front, but Harry appreciated it all the same.

He also provides Harry with real resources that can help him:

‘I want you to take this,’ he said quietly, thrusting a badly wrapped package roughly the size of a paperback book into Harry’s hands.

‘What is it?’ Harry asked.

‘A way of letting me know if Snape’s giving you a hard time. No, don’t open it in here!’ said Sirius, with a wary look at Mrs Weasley, who was trying to persuade the twins to wear hand-knitted mittens. ‘I doubt Molly would approve – but I want you to use it if you need me, all right?’

‘Sirius’s knife,’ he said. ‘Excuse me?’ ‘Christmas before last Sirius gave me a knife that’ll open any lock,’ said Harry. ‘So even if she’s bewitched the door so Alohomora won’t work, which I bet she has –’

Sirius isn't inclined to pity. He respects the choices of others. His care is expressed in this – he knows people's strengths and trusts them to do their job. He thinks Hagrid will be okay because Hagrid is tough. Why worry?

‘Listen, don’t go asking too many questions about Hagrid,’ said Sirius hastily, ‘it’ll just draw even more attention to the fact that he’s not back and I know Dumbledore doesn’t want that. Hagrid’s tough, he’ll be OK.’

And he respects the choice of the twins' father, though many find Sirius's words harsh:

‘We don’t care about the dumb Order!’ shouted Fred.

‘It’s our dad dying we’re talking about!’ yelled George.

‘Your father knew what he was getting into and he won’t thank you for messing things up for the Order!’ said Sirius, equally angry. ‘This is how it is – this is why you’re not in the Order – you don’t understand – there are things worth dying for!’

But it's not cruelty or indifference, it's respect for their father's choice, as an agent of free will.

Sirius even treats animals this way. Look how he got on with the cat. And yet he understands that animals are defenceless and need support. He doesn't expect danger from them and often finds comfort in their company.

‘This cat isn’t mad,’ said Black hoarsely. He reached out a bony hand and stroked Crookshanks’s fluffy head. ‘He’s the most intelligent of his kind I’ve ever met. He recognised Peter for what he was straight away. And when he met me, he knew I was no dog. It was a while before he trusted me. Finally, I managed to communicate to him what I was after, and he’s been helping me ...’

Kreacher injured Buckbeak the Hippogriff yesterday, and, at the moment when you made your appearance in the fire, Sirius was upstairs tending to him.’

Crookshanks, Hermione’s bandy-legged ginger cat, who wound himself once around Harry’s legs, purring, then jumped on to Sirius’s lap and curled up. Sirius scratched him absent-mindedly behind the ears as he turned, still grim-faced, to Harry.

Sirius, who had just entered the room carrying a bloodstained bag of what appeared to be dead rats. ‘I’ve just been feeding Buckbeak,’ he added, in reply to Harry’s enquiring look. ‘I keep him upstairs in my mother’s bedroom

Soon, however, he was moodier and surlier than before, talking less to everybody, even Harry, and spending increasing amounts of time shut up in his mother’s room with Buckbeak.

He became more and more prone to what Mrs Weasley called ‘fits of the sullens’, in which he would become taciturn and grumpy, often withdrawing to Buckbeak’s room for hours at a time.

Sirius befriended the cat, treated it as an intelligent being, and constantly cared for the hippogriff. Sirius is very closed off from people (after Azkaban, he only opens up to Harry and Remus), he builds a tough armour, but easily opens up to animals and easily cares for them in a nurturing manner – and they love him back.

In conclusion, Sirius respects the free choice of others. For him, pity towards another is demeaning. Sirius hates pity – neither for himself nor for others. To pity = to demean, to pity means to acknowledge the other as incapable and weak. And Sirius doesn't meddle in others' relationships, he well separates his zone of responsibility, and care for him is to give resources and information so the person can act. And he's good with animals, and to animals, he can show a different attitude – nurturing, because acknowledging animals as weaker doesn't demean them, because animals truly are weaker.

This character trait of Sirius isn't for moral judgement, just that's how he is, and it's important to understand that.

#sirius black #the marauders #sirius black meta #the marauders meta #hp meta #sirius and harry

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akookminsupporter · 1 year

Text

Namjoon gave a good interview to Vogue Spain and in it he said a few things that I thought I'd share with those of you who may not understand Spanish.

This was at the end of the article but I want to write it first:

One thing that needs to be made clear about this album is that, no matter how much the rumour mill is trying to spin it, it is by no means the end of the successful band. "Oh, I'm not leaving BTS. Absolutely not. This is the first time I'm launching a solo project like this, so I'm trying to stand up and take my first steps. But I'm ambitious and I have willpower. So I don't want to miss the opportunity to do both. So I will try my best not to lose control and steer these two ships at the same time. A lot of bands split up and fall apart, but I hope that doesn't happen to BTS. I just love the music, I love my job, I love the band members and I love myself. If I can keep both projects going, I think it can be something legendary in the long run".

Other important parts of the article:

"The k-pop industry hasn't stopped growing since we debuted with BTS [in 2013]. It's become a lot more complex and has brought a lot more people into its structures. I think there are a lot of lights, but also some slippery shadows. Many of us started our careers very early as a group: we slept and lived together as teenagers. We became a real family, which is great, but this culture has also affected me a lot, because sometimes I find it difficult to be treated as an adult who has autonomy in his decisions. I'm perceived as just another cog in the crew, in the context of a mass phenomenon",

Did you ever feel like you were getting completely lost in this delirium of success? "I used to think so, but the funny thing is that I am fully aware that it was my own choice to devote myself to the k-pop industry. Nobody pushed me into it. But yes, I have lost myself at times. Although perhaps saying this is an excess of 'self-empathy'. There is no answer. Except that, if k-pop is about recharging the batteries of a mass audience and I'm responsible for doing that recharging, then I have to keep my feet firmly on the ground. As an adult, as a musician and as a human being. And these ten years of my career have helped me define who I am and learn to love myself. But I'm still in that process, you know? All these internal struggles will be recorded on records and videos," he explains.

"Music is really necessary for the world, but, when it comes to my music, sometimes I feel like I'm producing something unnecessary. If I were to die tonight, I don't think anything would change. It might matter to some people for a while, but a farmer or a street sweeper is more relevant to the functioning of society. When I ask myself about the role of our generation in historical terms, when I look at all the digital platforms and communities out there, I am overcome with confusion. There are a lot of people who don't want to think. They have frenetic lives and turn to music or television to escape, so the last thing they want is someone trying to lecture them from a pedestal. In that context, I wonder how I can make my music matter. I haven't found an answer yet, but I keep trying to bring my own perspective to it.

As to whether he is afraid that the army he has on Instagram (42.4 million followers) might one day turn against him for a silly mistake or a blunder, RM answers bluntly. "Yes, it scares me. It scares me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. When I was younger I tried to come across as a cool guy who doesn't give a shit what other people think, but I don't think that's right anymore. I care about the publicity dimension of my career and the influence I can have on others. It stresses me out, yes, but I think I can handle it. That's why I don't retire or do things like go out and drink the night away and then drive drunk. I'm human, I can make mistakes, but I will do everything in my power to be the best version of myself. One of the keys is to treat this job for what it is: a job. I don't think artists have any special rights or status.

Note: if you would like me to translate another part of the interview, let me know.

#Namjoon #RM #vogue spain #bts #bts solo careers #bts break

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littlemissmanga · 4 months

Text

Home for the Holidays With You

Pairing: Tech x (gn) Reader

W/C: 2,335

Rating: E for Everyone. This is family (and Costco) friendly.

Warnings: Excessive fluff, Tech being a sweetheart taking ‘acts of service’ to an extreme, reader is dealing with homesickness at the holidays.

A/N: I wrote this as a secret Santa gift for @freesia-writes and her love of Tech inspired probably my fluffiest writing yet. Like, this is maximum fluff, guys. A little bit of whump, especially if you can relate to being homesick, but there is so much comfort here to offset it.

Just one note, I did change this to a GN Reader for tumblr. OG had she/her pronouns.

Dividers by @stars-n-spice :)

Omega’s excitement was like a sparkler. Small, bright bursts that one couldn’t resist smiling at.

Wrecker’s was closer to an explosion, as most things regarding his brother usually were: loud, bombastic, usually too much so to be contagious.

But your excitement was like a cup of caf, perfectly prepared and consumed at the optimal temperature. It was a warmth that seeped deep into his body and settled there, much as you already had in his heart.

He indulged in your presence whenever he could when you were like this. And the approaching holiday season seemed to bring out this flavor of excitement with consistency.

So, he’d chosen to spend his free time preparing with you — decorating to the soothing sounds of holiday music, shopping for and wrapping gifts (and pretending rather convincingly that he wasn’t curious about his own gifts you’d carefully hidden from him).

Tech researched the history of the holiday symbols, décor and music and shared them with you while you worked. You, in turn, regaled him with personal anecdotes of the same things, the two of you trading information as he, Wrecker, and Omega carefully followed your instructions to turn both the Batch’s home and your own into holiday wonderlands.

He blamed your warm excitement. Though even to himself, the word “blame” resonated with playful affection.

“I can’t wait to open these,” Omega chirped as she put the last of the gifts in the area you designated.

“Only one more week!” Your smile belied your pointed tone as you looked directly at Omega and Wrecker as the pair eyed the impressive pile. At least one of them had the decency to appear sheepish, and Tech was unsurprised that it was not his brother.

“I believe there’s more to Life Day than merely presents.”

“Exactly. Thank you, Tech,” you said, gifting him a smile and light touch on his shoulder as you passed by him to put away the last of the brightly colored wrapping flimsy.

“More?” Wrecker asked, excitement and confusion mixing in his tone and expression.

“Lots more,” you confirmed. “You open presents in the morning, sure. But then you get to spend the whole day with the people you care about most. Every family is different, but in mine, we play games, watch holos, and cook holiday treats together. And at the end of the day, you get to eat all that delicious food.”

“Oh! Now that does sound good! What kinda holiday treats d’ya make?”

While you regaled the others with rather detailed descriptions of your favorite holiday foods, Tech took a seat in the living room, pulling his data pad from his utility belt to once again struggle in finding a gift suitable for you.

None of the options so far had been acceptable. Most felt far too impersonal and underwhelming. Any that carried the intimacy he hoped to convey did not seem to suit your preferences as far as he knew them. And since he’d catalogued them, he’d say he knew them fairly well.

Tech knew if he voiced his frustrations to you, you’d laugh them off and tell him not to worry; that you’d love anything that came from him. And you would. Your ability to see past any errors on his part to see his intention underneath was one of the may things he loved about you.

But in this instance, that wasn’t enough. He wanted this gift to be perfect. As perfect as you made him feel. He could not — no, would not stand for his gift to be the only lackluster part of your holiday celebrations.

He was running out of time, however, and was beginning to grow rather anxious at the thought of not finding something in time.

Tech’s focus only lasted a few more moments, however, before his concentration was broken by Omega’s excited squeal.

“Those all sound amazing! And we get to try them!?”

“Oh, uh, not quite.” Your verbal stalling pulled Tech fully back into the conversation happening before him. “I’ve planned a few seasonal-to-Pabu snacks and a nice roast for dinner, but we don’t have access to a lot of the ingredients from my home planet. So we’ll make do with a Corellia-inspired, Pabu-provided holiday feast.”

The others continued the spirited conversation, but Tech was quick to notice a heaviness to you. It didn’t dim your smile or sharpen your words, but he could feel it all the same.

As the evening grew darker and slipped into night, Tech suggested Wrecker take Omega home. His thinly veiled excuse to be alone with you wasn’t questioned by anyone, least of all a tired Omega who yawned through her departure.

Once the silence had settled, you came to sit with him on the couch. He quickly turned off his data pad — not that I’ve found anything worth hiding yet, he thought bitterly — and you melted into his side, not quite cuddling but just letting yourself rest against him.

It was a position you had taken to, and he appreciated the concession that allowed him to keep his arms free while still remaining close to you. Tonight, however, he put his pad down and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, surrounding you with him.

“Now that the others are gone, will you tell me what inspired the melancholic air?”

The tilt of your head to press further into him pleased and concerned him in equal measure.

“Just … realizing what I’m missing, I guess. I mean, I knew when I enlisted in the GAR that I’d be away from home for the holidays. But I could always call, you know? Now that were on the run …”

The silence of your dropped sentence carried for a beat. Tech shifted so he could better see your face while you still rested on his torso.

“Now that we must conceal ourselves from the Empire, it’s too big a risk,” he finished for you.

“Yeah,” you sighed. “And it’s not like I didn’t know that before. We’ve been running for a while and next week is no different. Meg’s comment just made reality hit home.”

“That is understandable.” Tech paused, considering where to go from here. The most obvious solutions — visiting home, calling family, etc. — were all off the table. But leaving you as you were, clearly distressed and upset, was unacceptable. “What can I do?”

Your smile, though small, was genuine as you shook your head against his chest. “You’re sweet.”

“I am merely trying to resolve your current problem.”

“Yes, and that makes you very sweet,” you insisted. And frankly, with you tucked into his side like you were, he felt little of his usual compulsion to press his point. Still, for the rest of the evening, he struggled to himself with how to resolve your homesickness and prevent it from further tainting your beautiful spirit.

He had his list. He reviewed it multiple times to ensure he had not forgotten a single detail. And despite being certain he hadn’t, he still felt unnecessary adrenaline coursing through his body.

“Right! That’s the last of it!” Wrecker announced as he took the final side dish out of the oven. The small space was laden with delicacies, the recipes for which Tech ensured Wrecker and Omega had followed to the letter.

It all looked perfect to him. But — just this once — Tech would concede that his opinion did not matter. Only you could say whether he was successful or not.

The door to the Batch’s Pabu home opened, and Tech heard your voice carry from the entrance to the kitchen. “Hello?”

You were early. Kark.

Evidently, his anxiety was visible, as Wrecker laughed at him before Hunter stepped over to push him out of the kitchen. “Go. We got the rest.”

With little opportunity to do otherwise, Tech obliged. “Thank you. All of you,” he said, looking at his siblings in turn, trying to infuse his voice with sincerity before closing the door to the kitchen behind him as silently as possible.

“Hello, darling. Happy Life Day Eve.”

“Happy Life Day Eve.” You give him a quick kiss before looking around the empty living room. “Where is everyone?”

“They are finishing up some final preparations.”

Confusion colored your face. Understandable, considering you had been the leader of holiday prep … at least as far as you knew. But that was the entire point of a surprise, he supposed.

“Don’t worry, I’ve been supervising. We have a surprise for you.” Tech took your hand in his, giving it a small squeeze before leading you through the house to his room.

You give a small laugh, and he felt the knot in his stomach begin to loosen.

“Shouldn’t presents be saved for tomorrow?” You tease.

“I believe you’ll prefer enjoying this one tonight.”

Opening the door to his room, Tech led you inside to reveal a rather large — and if he permits, rather impressive — new comm station.

He watches your face closely as your eyebrows lift as you take in the sight.

“Wow, Tech! That’s really impressive! Did you build this yourself?”

“Naturally. However,” Tech pulled you further into the room to stand directly in front of the comm, “You cannot ascertain what’s special about this particular comm station by simply observing.”

“Oh?” Your crooked smile as you played along with him was possibly one of the most endearing expressions, and it reminded him to turn on his recording device. “Then please enlighten me. What is so special about it that it my surprise Life Day present?”

Instead of answering, Tech reclaims his hand to type in the frequency he’s come to memorize. He paused, looking up to you and smiling briefly before pressing the call button. “It’s encrypted.”

You tilted your head, eyes furrowed as you tried to make the connection. But before you could, a woman’s voice filtered through the comm.

“Hello? Tech? Can you hear me? Are they there yet?”

Instantly, Tech saw a multitude of emotions fly across your face faster than he could catalogue them as a tear slid down the sweet curve of your cheek.

Most fortunate, then, that I remembered to begin recording.

Your voice cracked as you answered softly, “Mama?”

“Hi, honey! Oh, stars, it’s so good to hear your voice. Hold on, your father’s coming, too.”

Resting a hand lightly on your shoulder, Tech pressed a kiss to your cheek and whispered, “Take your time and come outside when you’re done.”

Your eyes were bright and wide, and Tech knew he could never catalogue the multitude or depth of your emotions in that moment. But what he did know was that look of melancholy had been well and truly banished. And that was all he needed.

Two hours later, you emerged with a wide smile painted on your face, despite the slight redness around your eyes.

“Tech,” you called softly, reaching out to take hold of him. He let you, falling into your embrace happily. “Thank you.”

“I am glad my plan was successful.”

“It really was.” You tightened your arms around him, and it was only slightly unpleasant. But Tech would have given you a pass even if you had Wrecker’s strength in this moment. “My brilliant genius. You have no idea what that meant to me.”

“Hm, I shall refrain from arguing for now. But that was only the first stage. Are you ready for stage two?”

Tech can feel his shirt dampen as tears soak the fabric even as you laugh.

“Part two? I don’t know. I can’t imagine topping part one.”

Keeping his arm around you, Tech turned you both to lead you to the kitchen, opening the door to reveal the rest of the Batch. In the time it took you to complete your call, his brothers and sister had plated and displayed the wide array of Corellian holiday dishes.

Admittedly, the smell was heavenly. Tech understood why the absence of this spread would be lamentable.

“What in the …” Your head swiveled between members of the Batch, mouth open in soundless surprise before Omega bounded forward, pointing to each dish and telling you how they followed your family’s instructions exactly. It was clear she was eager to hear your approval, perhaps more so than he had been.

“You and Wrecker made all of this?” You asked the young girl, pulling her into a hug when she finished.

“Yup! But it was all Tech’s idea! He got the comm station built and got the recipes from your family, told Phee and Echo where to get everything we didn’t have on Pabu, and he had Hunter distracting you all week so you wouldn’t notice anything!”

Your eyes narrowed at the Sergeant, earning a laugh from Echo. “So that’s why we’ve been re-cataloguing everything in the museum?”

“Sorry. It was the only thing I could think of that you’d believe,” Hunter said, hands raised in front of him as if to ward off your playful irritation.

“What do you think?” Tech asked, touching a hand lightly to your lower back to pull your attention to him. “Does part two satisfy?”

You bark a laugh before pressing into his side once again, sneaking your arm under his so it wraps around his waist, leaving no room between you before burying your head into his shoulder.

“This was… this…” He felt your deep, steadying breath and tightens his hold on you as he waits for you to collect your thoughts. “Yes, Tech. It beyond satisfies. I have never felt so loved.”

He reached forward, lifting your face to his so he can see your eyes. “But you are, darling. You are so very loved.”

And for a brief moment, Tech lost track of time. The shine of your eyes, fueled by love, awe, and just a few unshed tears, was all he needed. If this were the “meaning of the holidays,” then Tech finally understood why so many lifeforms craved the holiday season so.

“So, uh, can we eat? Or d’ya wanna keep starin’ at each other?”

Uncouth as ever, Wrecker’s question pulled you away from Tech with a laugh, though you never let go of his hand. “Yeah, let’s eat.”

Note about my taglist: My google account storage is so full that I can't update and export my sign up sheet, so if you signed up for my taglist and I did not tag you I am so sorry! It is a technical error and one that I am working on fixing!

Taglist: @dreamie411, @wings-and-beskar, @starrylothcat, @sev-on-kamino, @wolffegirlsunite, @secondaryrealm, @idontgetanysleep, @multi-fan-dom-madness, @dystopicjumpsuit, @sinfulsalutations, @sunshinesdaydream, @clonemedickix, @wizardofrozz, @anxiouspineapple99, @mythical-illustrator, @dhawerdaverd

Masterlist

#tbb tech x reader #tech x reader #tech fluff #tbb tech fluff

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 11 months

Note

With the release of Part 3 of Chapter 7, I wonder what the Shroud parents look like under their badass masks?

There’s been so much fan art of what Mama and Papa Shroud potentially look like under those helmets 😭 It’s been such a treat seeing different artists’ interpretations!!

I think, at the very least, Papa Shroud would have to resemble his sons. As director of STYX, he’s the one bearing the Shroud family blood (as was his own mother/Idia and Ortho’s grandmother). So that means shark teeth, pale as death skin, yellow eyes (maybe looking miserable or emotionless) 😂, and fiery blue hair (duh). I also headcanon that his hair must be pretty short since we don’t see excess fire spurting out from the helmet. Plus, short hair is just more practical in a lab/research setting! Papa Shroud presents as outwardly more pragmatic than his wife so this makes sense to me.

Because I’m assuming that Mama Shroud married into the family, we don’t really know what she could look like. All we could guess is that she doesn’t have the blue fire hair (because that’s a trait specifically associated with specifically the Shroud bloodline). One funny joke I’ve seen circulating (in spite of the wide variance of Mama Shroud designs) is making her really cute and innocent, with some depictions being full-on magical girls! This is a reference to both her cheery and loving nature as well as to Mama Shroud’s VA, who also does Sakura Kinomoto (from Cardcaptor Sakura~)

Oh!! You know what?? It’s possible that the VAs for the Shroud parents have actually seen what their characters look like without the helmets!! We have heard from other TWST VAs that they were given sneak previews to different forms of the characters they play (ie old Vil, past Lilia with the long ponytail) to help the VAs get a better sense for how to portray those characters. Just seeing a helmet doesn’t much help with determining what kind of voice to give to Papa and Mama Shroud so… 👀 I feel like the possibility of the VAs having secret knowledge (they obviously can’t share because of nondisclosure agreements they sign) is definitely a possibility!!!

Every time I see a post making a joke about how Papa Shroud must be an otaku that’s into moe characters or he’s trying to convince his mom to let him marry a woman that acts totally different than he does… It’s funny considering Papa Shroud is described as being really pessimistic and depressing to be around, I wouldn’t have expected it of him 😂 (I’ve also really been loving the grown up RSA!Ortho fan arts 😭)

#Ortho Shroud #Idia Shroud #Ignihyde #twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #notes from the writing raven #spoilers #question #Sakura Kinomoto #Cardcaptor Sakura #twst theory #twised wonderland theory #twst theories #twisted wonderland theories #Lilia Vanrouge #Vil Schoenheit

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valerieismss · 3 months

Text

Okay I did another manga panel recolor to illustrate my point about Danny’s freakassness and how it could’ve been written more effectively.

My main issue with Danny’s character has little to do with his design and nothing to do with his personality and motivations. It’s just his behavior that drives me up a wall. You really don’t have to change anything about Danny himself to communicate his main internal conflicts: his desperate need for unconditional love.

It’s frustrating because I know that others (including myself, when my friend introduced me to this) will misinterpret Danny to be a pedo when he’s explicitly not one, it’s just that his behavior communicates something that’s different to his actual character. You see this in the manga and the anime, especially—a lot of his expressions are weirdly horny even though he never actually communicates or suggests he really feels that way about Rachel. Notably, his need for her is familial. He sees himself in her, and his mother’s eyes in her. In another post, @wlwfav said in a reply to a post by @mothwithapencil that he wasn’t projecting his feelings about his mother on Rachel so much as he was projecting his desires for unconditional love onto Rachel to mother her, like a reverse projection (trying not to plagiarize here!). I fully agree. This is especially apparent when you see a flashback of Danny counseling Rachel in the game. He directly relates his shit onto her. The amount of countertransference (which is when therapists project their own feelings onto their clients) this man has is immeasurable. It’s part of why I’m so attached to him. (For reference, my favorite character of all time is also a therapist with an assload of countertransference.)

Anyways, I think you can make Danny just as unsettling if not more if you get him to stop acting as horny as he does. It causes some really uncomfortable mischaracterizations. There’s really no need for it. That’s why I edited the second panel a little bit. You can change a character’s behavior and keep their motives and desires the same. I wouldn’t change an extreme amount about his behaviors. I think his lack of physical boundaries actually works really well for his character. It makes sense given his isolated and rejected upbringing. I draw the line when he pins Rachel down in the anime. What was the reason. He just wants her eyes. Explicitly. Just her eyes.

Also, the tongue? Can anyone explain why it’s necessary??? It’s GROSS AND WEIRD! It also gives his character a weirdly sexual undertone that isn’t necessary to making him a terrifying guy. Like you can still get freaky with it without that damn thing. The excessive use of peepers…I mentioned this in my last post. It’s a good way to disarm clients/players from his obsession with eyes. If he treats his fascination as a joke (“I just really like your peepers haha!”) it makes him less suspicious. Contextually, it also makes sense. Danny canonically becomes a psychiatrist because he knows he’ll encounter people with lifeless eyes. Unsurprisingly, in the art of the game, they tend to be younger patients. To me, when we first meet him, he came off as a pediatrician. I mean, he calls himself Dr. Danny instead of Dr. Dickens, like a pediatrician would. His tongue shit and his peeper shit could sound like some silly thing he’d say to get clients to feel more at ease around him before he legit kills them and takes their eyes.

All of that is really unsettling to me. You could characterize his freakassness in ways that aren’t sexual but just as chilling. If Rachel’s needs for a perfect family and things that are “hers” can be conveyed in a horrific way without sexualizing her, the same could be done for Dr. Fuckface. He’s so similar to her, after all. He wants a family—Rachel, specifically—that mirrors what he wishes he would’ve had in his childhood, because he believes that comes with unconditional love. Even when Zack stabs him in the anime, his line is, “I’ve been so terribly lonely!” Because that’s his actual issue. He thinks Rachel, having had a similar childhood, is the only one who could understand, and he believes he’s fundamentally unloveable because of his trauma. He literally thinks his eyes killed his mom. He’s so fascinating!! I’m so obsessed with him. I can’t wait to start episode 0 of the manga.

So, yeah. In the second recolor I tried to convey his creepiness by giving him a more wistful expression that still strikes you as fucking weird. Instead of seeming excited sexually, he seems excited at the idea of a forced family. It’s more accurate to who he actually is. He literally does not want her like that in canon. I wish his behaviors reflected that more.

#valerieisms #daniel dickens #danny dickens #i love you dr. dick in me…

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karizard-ao3 · 2 months

Note

Hi Karizard! Just finished reading Clueless Teens in like … two sittings - it’s legit the best school caste au fic I’ve come across, i love it so much. I know Eremika is the main focus but holy shit ur Aruani is! So sweet! 😭 Would you ever consider writing more Aruani stuff in the future?

Aw, thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I tend to include Aruani as a side ship in my longer fics. They feature in Anamnesis but I didn't tag them as a ship because they do not have a happy ending together and it's pretty much just solid angst between them throughout lol.

I'm still working on finishing my single parents au wip, but Aruani are the other couple in it. They, of course, don't show up as much as Eremika, but they are in it and they deal with changes to their relationship due to becoming new parents.

I'm going to share a little snippet, as a treat (also, I'm chomping at the bit to get this finished and posted, so I want very badly to share scenes and whatnot).

Here, Armin and Annie bring their baby on his first outing, meeting up with Eren, Mikasa, and their kids at the playground.

BEGIN SCENE!

Annie made sure Alexander was secure in his sling while Armin grabbed the diaper bag and slung it over his shoulder.

"Is he okay in there?" he fretted. "You're sure he won't fall out or smother?"

"Maybe the sling wasn't a good idea…" said Annie, looking up at the other families occupying the playground near Eren and Mikasa’s houses. "Maybe bringing him out at all wasn't a good idea…"

She bit her lip and glanced over towards where Eren and Mikasa were watching their kids play. Mason was running back and forth across the play structure’s bridge, doing spin kicks at each landing, while Adriana squealed and hollered because Eren was wiping her nose when she wanted to play. She had been a snotty, coughing mess all morning, he’d warned them, adding, “But don’t worry. The doctor said she’s not contagious, just gross.”

So maybe Adri wasn't an infection risk, but what about all these other kids? Annie held Alexander protectively against her body. He made a grunting sound, bobbing his fists and looking up at her. She glanced down at him just in time to see his face screw up and relax as he farted. Her heart swelled. "We're going to bring you home so none of these rowdy little shits can get you sick," she cooed.

Alexander grunted again, not comprehending but pleased to be part of the conversation.

"Armin, we're going," said Annie.

"Sounds good!" said Armin, opening the car door he had just closed and stowing the diaper bag back inside.

Across the park lawn, Mikasa smacked Eren's arm and pointed at them.

"Ope!" he said, setting Adri free and jogging across the grass to the Arlerts. "Don't even think about it!" he said, stopping next to them. "You told us you were going crazy stuck at home. Now that the baby has his shots and it’s warming up, it's time for you two to get out of the house. He’ll be fine. You don’t need to keep him in a bubble."

"Look," said Armin. "I know it probably seems like we're being excessive to you, but you don't know what it's like having a child with medical issues."

Eren gaped at him. “Seriously?”

"What?" said Armin. "You don't."

"My kid literally can't breathe without daily steroids and gets bronchitis multiple times a year," said Eren, his eyebrows dropping into a dangerous line across his face. "What is Alexander's chronic illness?"

Armin averted his eyes.

"Sorry. I didn't hear you. What was it again?" said Eren. He was in a far worse mood than usual.

"Nothing," grumbled Armin. "The doctor gave him a clean bill of health.”

“Oh!” said Eren. “How interesting!”

“But his immune system is still immature so we have to be careful with him,” Armin persisted.

Eren held up his hands. "Fine. But if you keep sheltering him from everything like this, Alexander is going to turn out like you," he warned.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Armin demanded. "My parents did a great job!"

Annie reached past him to open the car door and get the diaper bag back out. “I guess a little fresh air and sunshine wouldn’t hurt.”

Armin turned to look at her, the betrayal evident all over his face.

"I love you so much, baby," she said. "Just the way you are."

"That's not really what it seems like right now!" said Armin.

"No, really!" said Annie. "You're so intelligent and handsome and talented!"

"But?" said Armin, folding his arms.

"No buts," said Annie, heading towards Mikasa. "It's just that my dad didn't coddle me at all and I'm much less…"

"Much less what?" said Armin, scowling and chasing after her.

"Um... Prissy," said Annie.

“We are talking more about this at home,” said Armin.

“Yes, dear,” said Annie.

“Tan I see the baby?” Adri squealed as soon as she noticed the Arlerts had finally joined them, chugging down the play structure steps as fast as her little legs could carry her and wiping her snot on her pudgy wrist.

Annie closed her eyes, took a deep, stabilizing breath and kneeled down so Adri could see Alexander.

“Hello little Aleskander!” Adri said, then sneezed in his face, spraying him in spit.

Alexander gasped, his eyes popping open wide and his arms flinging out to his sides. “Oh, god…” groaned Annie.

Armin glared at Eren.

“Sorry little guy! I promise she’s not contagious,” said Eren, snatching his backpack from the ground and pulling out a pack of wipes. Alexander’s fists were bopping a mile a minute. His run-in with Adri had been very exciting. Eren held out the pack of wipes for Annie and she extracted one, using it to clean her son’s face while he aired his grievances in a thin wail. He was no longer enjoying his grand adventure now that it included being subjected to torture.

“He’s crying,” Mason observed, skipping toward them to see the new baby. “Maybe he’s hungry. Mom, can I have a snack?”

“Tan I have one, too?” said Adri.

“I might have something,” said Mikasa. She hadn’t packed anything besides her and Mason’s lunches because they were going to be eating so soon but she might have a bag of chips or a protein bar in her purse that the kids could split.

“I’ll give Aleskander his bottle,” Adri said, putting her hands on her hips and inspecting the baby with an officious nod. “I’s going to take very good care of him.”

Mason grabbed his hair. “You know what? I can’t take it anymore, Adriana!” he shouted. “It’s I’m! Not I’s! You are saying it wrong! You say everything wrong! How can you be so dumb?”

"Mason!" said Mikasa.

Adriana’s face twisted with rage and she punched him.

“Ow!” Mason yelped. “She hit me!”

“Adriana May Jaeger!” Eren barked.

“I think she gave me internal bleeding,” Mason moaned, doubling over and clutching his stomach.

“He said I’s dumb!” Adriana howled.

“I’m,” Mason screeched. “You’re supposed to say I’m! Did you learn to talk at upside-down school?”

“I’s! Too! Little! For! Stool!” Adriana shrieked, punching him again.

“My organs!” Mason wailed.

“Kids with busted organs don’t get to play at the playground,” said Mikasa, sifting through her giant bag with greater urgency. Maybe if their mouths were occupied with chewing, the kids would stop screaming at each other. “Kids with busted organs have to go to the hospital.”

Mason eyed her, then straightened with theatrical uncertainty, patting his abdomen. “Hey! It doesn’t hurt anymore! ” he said as if he were as shocked by the news as any of them. “I’m okay!”

“A miracle,” said Mikasa.

END SCENE!

#ask me things #my asks #answered asks #armin arlert #annie leonhart #aruani #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #eremika #single parents au #writing wip #fic wip #fic writing #sneak peek #wip scene #rough draft #current wip

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rhaenall · 9 months

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Warning, this is super long but I think the reason so many people think of Shiv as the favorite is more about how "favorite" is defined and from what perspective we’re examining “favorite.”

I think there’s a pretty solid argument that, in-universe, the Roy’s generally see Shiv as Logan’s “favorite” where favorite means the child he “likes” most and treats “preferentially.” As a preface, Brian Cox has pretty consistently said Shiv is Logan's favorite in interviews. While fans and viewers are free to take or leave an actor’s extra-textual viewpoint as they wish, I think it has both been influential from a fanon perspective and provides a view into Logan’s thought process.

What I mean by that is that Logan probably thinks of Shiv as his favorite, partly because Logan's views towards Shiv are (at least initially) less complicated than his views towards his sons. As Shiv said in Episode 3x09, Logan thinks there’s something wrong with Roman and he has a dichotomous love-hate relationship with Kendall. By contrast, Logan thinks of Shiv as his little Pinky, there’s nothing competitive about the relationship because she’s not another Man coming to usurp him and he can’t comprehend the whole of her as a full and complex person due to his own misogyny. As the only girl, his relationship with her is inherently unique and, I’d argue, in some ways inherently limited by her gender. Shiv is someone he can afford to let in because she’ll never be a Son and therefore, will never really be a rival (or a disappointment as a Man).

I think we get a bit of a sense of this in Episode 2x08, where Logan seeks out Shiv’s assurance that he’s making the right decision about announcing Rhea. There’s a kind of emotional reliance there that Logan can show Shiv that I don’t think he could have really show Kendall or Roman by virtue of their being men. It’s not dissimilar to how he relies on Marcia earlier in the season. It almost gives the illusion of tenderness, but in other ways simultaneously dismisses Shiv as a potential Heir herself, even though that’s the whole paradigm she’s been operating under this season. That reliance and psedo-emotional closeness (as well as Shiv being out of the company for the majority of her life) allows for their relationship to function differently then any relationship he has with his other children and potentially to connect with each other (see Shiv’s speech that same episode where it’s clear they really do get each other in a way).

By virtue of this unique relationship, I think the rest of the family (mostly Roman, Kendall, and Caroline) view Shiv as Logan’s “favorite” as well. This is potentially evidenced in some of Kendall’s lines in Episode 1x02 (I say potentially because everyone is speaking from places of mixed motives haha). Thus, by certain in-universe metrics, Shiv is Logan’s favorite.

As viewers however, our view of “favorite” may differ from those of the characters in the show. If we think of Logan’s “favorite” as the child Logan lets in the most re the business, or thinks about the most, or spends the most time with, or brings into his inner circle most frequently – then the “favorite” may be Kendall.

I think it’s pretty indisputable that Logan has uniquely weird relationships with all of his kids but at least where Kendall is concerned there’s an intense kind of possessiveness involved. Putting aside how wild it is to tap a seven-year-old as the future CEO of a public company that will have a market cap in excess of $40b, Logan seems super interested in involving himself in basically every aspect of Kendall’s life. We see in the pilot episode that he’s always trying to get his kids in the company (and exercise some level of procession that way), but it extends beyond that with Kendall (see for example all of Season 2 and large parts of Season 1and 3 haha).

At least until the start of the show, I think the implication is Logan has been dedicated to molding Kendall in his image as his heir, largely without meaningful competition from his siblings. However, one of the things that I think keeps Logan from thinking of Kendall as being his “favorite” even though he holds the title of Heir, is that Kendall is a massive disappointment to Logan because he can never live up to that title. Part of this is just, no one can live up to Logan’s standard because it’s a constantly changing standard (he is after all a human gaslight) but the other part is that Kendall is, at his core, a vastly different person from Logan. They don’t think the same. And on top of that, because Kendall has been trying to absorb and learn how to be whatever it is Logan seems to want, he keeps either attempting to emulate Logan poorly because, as stated, they’re different people, or he tries to grow and do his own thing which Logan inherently dislikes either because it’s not Logan’s way or he views it as competition which is unacceptable from one of his children.

To me, in many ways, Kendall is Logan’s great contradiction – love and hate in equal measure with a toxic co-dependance swirling throughout due to the sheer amount of time and energy that’s gone into molding Ken to be more like Logan and Kendall’s desperate attempt to shove himself into a mold that doesn’t fit.

Now for how this further fits into the “favorite” discussion, I don’t think Kendall views himself as the favorite. I think this is in part because the grass is always greener and from where Ken is standing – Shiv’s pasture looks far nicer than his (and Roman’s but that’s a whole other thing). However, I also kind of think that because Kendall is so constantly in Logan’s orbit, he doesn’t really think about this favorite thing too much (or at least not in those terms).

From Shiv’s perspective though, I think she’s much more keyed into the reality that Logan’s view of her is not in fact “better” but a massive disservice to her potential and I think she does clock that there’s a connection with Kendall that she cannot be part of in a way that makes any favoritism she gets meaningless. All of which is to say, I think Shiv understands she’s in a unique position with her Dad as the girl and the baby, and that to some extent others view her as a Daddy’s Girl. But I think she also has identified that Ken is the one who’s got Daddy’s attention more than not and although she may be called the “favorite” in many ways, Ken gets to “matter” in a way she can’t.

So all of this to say…I think Shiv is technically the “favorite” but that Kendall is practically the “favorite” or the one who “matters– it’s all about how you define it and which perspectives you’re adopting.

(Also, one final note on Logan’s feeling around Shiv – there’s also probably some deeply mixed-up subconscious association between Rose, the younger sister he lost and carried guilt about for forever, and Shiv, his only daughter (and the only child that seems to physically take after his side of the family) that may also be at play here. I’m still kind of thinking through how all of that fits together…)

WHO SEND THIS?€;&::&&: (/positive)

I appreciate it, I read it all. Really lovely thoughts and ideas.

I didn’t know about Brian Cox’s thoughts on this matter. I think I am only aware of Jeremy’s and Sarah Snook’ thoughts on their characters/season 4.

But yes I can definitely see why there is conflicting answers about the favorite.

Thank you, anon! This is Appreciated

#kendall roy #shiv roy #succession

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icarusignite · 2 years

Text

An Eye for an Eye (part 3)

parts: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / Future parts: MASTERLIST

A/N: Sooo yea guess who has a lab report due this week and yet still spent like most of today on this lol. This fandom has really consumed me like no other. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Word count: 2124

My darling sweet girl,

I hope you are faring well. These are troubling times to be sure and we all miss your presence here. Lucerys and the boys especially, are always asking after you. They wish you would write to them more often. They all have things to tell you and sometimes the distance feels like too much.

I hope that those at the Red Keep are treating you well. It would pain me to find that they take their grievances with me out on you. Daemon worries that they may execute or imprison you as leverage to ensure our surrender. He insists that we summon you at once, but I shall only do so if you wish it. I do not think Aemond would allow you to be at risk; that boy does indeed care for you. I'd like to believe that Alicent too would ensure your safety, out of love for you, as well as out of respect for the bond we once shared. I know she remembers. She has sent a token of our past along with the terms of surrender. I wonder if perhaps I should consider it; the terms are generous and I do not wish for excessive bloodshed. It is at times like these that I miss your counsel my daughter. Dragonstone is full of men who hunger for war, Daemon included, but I do not wish to rule over a kingdom of ash and bone. What good would I be if my throne was built on the flesh and blood of my people, the very people I am sworn to serve and protect. I also want my children to be safe. I worry for you all. A war would paint a target on all your backs and with you being right there in King's Landing, it is hard to reassure myself of your safety.

The boys are doing well. Jacaerys is shouldering his responsibilities as heir and the younger ones are growing up to be fine boys indeed. I worry for Lucerys though. He is a quiet boy, not as sure of himself as the rest. He is scared to inherit Driftmark, to bear the responsibility I have placed upon him. Perhaps it is indeed too much, the gods know that such positions are quite a burden. I had an interesting conversation with him recently. The sweet boy thinks he cannot be as great a ruler as Lord Corlys. What's more, he thinks that I am perfect. How comical, when these days I feel anything but. He has many fears my dear, and I feel as though maybe I am pushing him too much. I have sent him and Jace as envoys to gather allies. This will make him more courageous I think, to travel on his own more often. I made them swear an oath not to fight anyone. I sent them as messengers, not warriors. I hope that is enough to keep them safe.

Lucerys said he had something important to tell you, he will send you the letter when he returns from Storm's End I suppose. Perhaps you can ease his mind about his worries when you write back. Tell the brave boy that he is capable of the responsibilities I have placed upon him. Tell him that his mother will prepare him as best she can and that his family will always be there to support him. I have told him as much, but he has always listened to you better in most things. I think he took your departure the hardest, so write to him more often my love. I have seen how your letters light up his entire countenance.

I do not wish to force your hand but you are so dearly missed here, although I realize that you hold a great fondness for your husband and perhaps it would be cruel of me to separate you. However, if it is your wish to come home to Dragonstone, I could make the arrangements.

With all my love,

Your mother.

____________

Aemond crumpled the letter in his hands, guilt clawing at him from the inside. He had always known that Lucerys had been the closest to Daenys out of all her siblings, but he hadn't realized how close that bond it truly was. Perhaps it was because the only sibling he liked was Helaena, and even then, they were not that close. Aegon on the other hand was intolerable even on the best of days. The letter in his hand gave him a glimpse of Daenys's relationship with her siblings, and with her mother. Aemond could not remember the last time Alicent had spoken to him or any of his siblings with such affection.

"I am just going to leave this letter here," he placed it on the small table beside the bed.

“I will never know what he had to say to me. I will never get to write to him again. I will never get to tell him that he would have made a brave Lord of the Tides. I will never get to tell him how much I adored him and it is all your fault,” she whispered fiercely.

“Oh Daenys, you must know how sorry I am, truly,” Aemond responded quietly.

“Your apologies mean nothing to me so cease them at once. You cannot bring him back, can you? No, you cannot, so I do not want any more empty words. He died scared and alone and I just know that his last thoughts would have been of mother. Of how he had failed her. And I will never get to tell him that he could never fail us, not ever.”

Aemond stood to leave, his heart could no longer take the derision she threw his way. Perhaps that made him a coward but he did not care. He could not bear to see the sharp hatred in her eyes anymore, not when she had only ever looked at him with warmth and love before.

Daenys's hand shot out and grabbed his arm before he could depart, her nails digging into his arm.

"Wait..."

It took her a while to gather her words. She wiped away her tears and swallowed her hiccups as she took deep shuddering breaths to collect herself.

"I need to know. I need to know what you said to him last. What his last words were. Is there...is there even a body?" she choked on the last word.

Aemond hung his head in shame, refusing to meet her searching eyes. He could not bear to face the anguish and disappointment in them.

"Aegon told you most of the story in the throne room. There is not much more to it I'm afraid."

"Tell me anyway. I want to hear it from you. Every detail."

"It will only hurt you. I do not wish to cause you more pain."

Daenys smiled bitterly, her fingers digging harder into his arm, although Aemond relished in the pain because at least she was touching him. She was speaking to him.

"You have hurt me enough already. What's a little more? This time I am asking for it. You owe me this much."

Aemond met her gaze and sighed in defeat.

"I was sent there to persuade Lord Borros Baratheon to support Aegon's claim. From her letter, it seems as though your mother had the same idea. She sent Lucerys. It regrets me to say that I let my anger control me."

"What. Did. You. Say. To. Him," Daenys spoke as if each word pained her, her grip on his arm becoming almost deadly.

"I tossed him my knife. Told him that I would not blind him but that he would have to give up one of his eyes."

"And what did my brother say to that?"

"He said he would not fight me because he was here as a messenger only..." Aemond paused, remembering Rhaenyra's letter and how she made him swear an oath to keep peace.

"Continue!"

"I told him I would take his eye out myself," Aemond took a deep breath, "and I called him a bastard."

Daenys's other hand clamped her mouth as she stifled a sob.

"When he left on his dragon, I took Vhagar out after him... and well, you know the rest."

She dropped his arm as if she'd been scalded.

"You called him a bastard?" she accused, "how hypocritical of you. If he is considered a bastard, then so am I, or have you forgotten lord husband? Have you forgotten that you married a bastard, something you consider to be less than human? Or have you perhaps always scorned me for my supposed inferior birth?"

Lord husband. She had called him lord husband and yet her words dripped with venom. He didn't know how she could make what once were his favourite words sound like poison.

"It was an accident I swear it. There was a storm and the visibility was low. Then Arrax breathed fire at Vhagar and she lost control. If Lucerys had just listened, if he had just...,"

"If he had what? Given you his eye. Do not pin this on him or Arrax you pathetic fool. They are dead and you are alive to sit here in front of me and present your pitiful excuses. You are the one who thought it was a good idea to chase them with a war beast. A war beast! They didn't stand a chance," Daenys's voice rose an octave.

"I tried to stop Vhagar. I told her not to but she wouldn't listen. I lost control and I'm sorry ok. I'm sorry I let my bitterness get the best of me and I'm sorry I hurt you!"

"Is there a body? For either of them? Is there anything left?" she squeezed her eyes shut before he even answered, almost as if she knew.

Aemond was quiet for a minute.

"No. I...I only saw parts of Arrax fall from Vhagar's jaws. I did not see Lucerys, I'm sorry."

At the confirmation of her worst thoughts, Daenys's jaw clenched. She too was silent for a moment before a muffled wail escaped her lips.

"Oh, why couldn't you have left him alone? Why couldn't you have let your stupid grudges go!" she wailed. "I would have given you both my eyes had you asked, I promise. I would have given them to you with a kiss and my blessing if you had just asked. How could you be so cruel!"

"He is the one who took my eye, not you! Left me with this hideous disfigurement for the rest of my life. Everyone in King's Landing looked at me with either pity or disgust. None of the ladies at court would marry me!" Aemond roared.

"I would have married you. I did marry you!" Daenys screamed back.

"He made me hate the way I looked, made me fear that even you would be repulsed by me. That one day you would see past whatever affection you held for me and be sickened and ashamed of your scarred husband."

Daenys's eyes turned soft as she looked him over. She reached out and traced his jaw with her fingertips and Aemond froze. He held his breath for fear of scaring her away. Her touch was gentle as she pulled off his eyepatch. A part of him recoiled at that, not wanting her to see it now. Not when she probably hated him and would find him unbearably unsightly. Still, he allowed her to do as she pleased and held still as she traced his scar.

"I have never thought you hideous or repulsive. Never once in my whole life," Daenys said softly, her voice unbearably tender.

Aemond unconsciously leaned into her touch. He didn't know what to say but his heart soared at the possibility that maybe she didn't hate him quite as much as he thought she did. Maybe they could come back from this. Maybe she would forgive him. The gods knew he would do anything to earn her forgiveness.

Eventually, Daenys scoffed and pulled her hand away, "I have never found you unsightly, except for now."

"What?"

"You were right. I do see now, past whatever affection I held for you, and I am sickened and ashamed that you are my husband. But it is not because of your scar. It is because of your actions."

"Daenys..." his voice trembled. His world was shifting, tilting on its axis. He felt like he had been slapped. In fact, he wished she had slapped him, it would have hurt less.

"Leave. I have nothing more to say to you and I wish to be left alone."

Aemond stood hurriedly, scrambling to cover his scar once again. Daenys watched him leave with tears in her eyes. Her heart was in pieces and as much as she hated to admit it, he had taken some of them away with him.

__________________________

Taglist: @applepyesworld @bugheadskid

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ell-arts · 7 months

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Come to think of it, I don't think we technically know Pac's full personality all that much outside of being someone who used to be closed off towards strangers according to Sunny when referring to Baby Pac, and also being a glutton too....

Unless I'm just dumb and haven't rewatched the show for over three years by now. :,)

But yeah, do you have headcanons on other things about Pac?

Here's how I would summarise Pac's personality;

Introverted

Friendly

Down to earth (at least Stratos thinks so)

A bit competetive

Hard-working

Courageous

Supportive

Sentimental

Happy-Go-Lucky

Goofy

I guess one could consider gluttony/love for food to be part of his character (he wouldn't be Pac-Man without it) but I'd put gluttonous under a behavioural category rather than personality :-)

Now, as for extra headcanons I have about Pac;

He's pretty good with kids and has a soft spot for them. He likes to make jokes and act like a clown just to make them laugh. We saw him willingly share his food with a young girl in one of the Christmas episodes, and in "Nerd is the Word" he posed with a young boy for a picture taken by the boy's father. Pac also acted a bit like a goof in that instance, probably to make the occasion more special for the boy.

Pac wants to feel valued. He didn't take well to being replaced by Spooka Bazookas for his role in protecting Pacworld. Sure, the biggest reason for this could be that he's gotten used to the fame of being a hero, but I'd like to headcanon that another reason for this is because he had a past when he wasn't valued or seen as important by his peers for being the only Yellow One. Becoming the hero of Pacworld was the first time that most of society saw value in him for a change. Of course, there is a risk that excessive attention and value can get to his head, as seen in "Pac-Mania."

Following up on the previous headcanon, Pac has also grown reserved and introverted because of how he was treated by his peers as a kid, and so he only seeks to have serious relationships where friends and family don't take him for granted.

He hates being played for a fool, or to be given false hope. Pac may be happy-go-lucky and carefree, but we've seen a lot of depth to his emotions, too - there's certain lines that shouldn't be crossed, especially when it comes to his family. In "Happy Holidays and a Merry Berry Day," he didn't take well to finding out that his 'returned parents' were just clones made by Dr. B to fool him into revealing the location of the Tree of Life. And just a few episodes later, in "New Girl in Town," Pac was only willing to give Elli (possessed by Mavis and Pinky at the time) a few chances to be serious with him on the matter of his missing parents' whereabouts. Of course he didn't know he was being deceived, but the moment it became clear to him that Elli was just fooling around on the topic, he walked off and left with a bitter and unhappy countenance.

Pac is a dog person. This headcanon mostly goes off of the fact that Pac and Aunt Spheria have a dog named Uggles. He doesn't mind cats, but generally he prefers dogs. (Which is ironic, since his eyebrows look like cat ears.)

His favourite food is ice-cream and pizza. Yes I know he said in an episode that his favourite is "everything" but I'm sure even he has his favourites that he loves just a bit more above 'everything' xD

#pmatga #pacman and the ghostly adventures #ask #pacster

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rustyvanburace · 1 year

Text

Analysis on SMTIV’s Issachar

I wrote up a long analysis on Issachar from Shin Megami Tensei IV, covering his aspirations for wanting to become a Samurai, his myriad struggles, and even a bit of how he’d compare with Walter.

Spoiler warnings for the beginning of SMT IV up to Kiccigiorgi Forest. This is all my own interpretation, of course!

-----

My personal belief is that if Issachar did become a Samurai, I don’t actually see him as becoming "Another Walter". In some ways I actually even think that Walter would clash with him somewhat. And I say this in respect to Issachar's own beliefs and ambitions. As a Samurai, I can see Issachar clinging onto his new role with overwhelming pride and maybe even turning a blind eye of denial to the discrimination within. I can imagine him turn excessively determined to prove himself and even more so in defiance of his growing disillusion. And maybe that would still culminate in him losing himself and becoming vulnerable to demonic influence all the same.

For both good and bad, Issachar has raw emotion. And it's those same emotions that kept both his ambition alive against impossible odds, as well as what ultimately consumed him. Issachar isn't just at odds with the Luxurors' stifling oppression, though that is a large part of it, but also what he idealizes the Samurai to be and his complicated relationships.

So let's analyze Issachar's reason to become a Samurai. At quick glance, it is a means to escape his Casualry status and become a Luxuror. And that is true and something he expresses, but that also doesn't cover all his values nor his complicated anger at his rejection. What’s important is to first consider the value he holds the Samurai to and their perceived role in society.

If you go to the Obelisk before taking the Rite, Issachar comments on each section. And there's a comment there that really stands out. In retelling the founding of the Samurai, the epigraph relates Aquila's heroic deeds and ends by describing today's Samurai as the "cornerstone of our defenses". And it's right afterwards that Issachar starts to daydream in that role. "When I am made a Samurai, then I, too, shall be..."

Issachar doesn't state it outright, but given what the epigraph just described, I take this to mean that he values the Samurai as heroes of justice. Maybe even reveres Aquila. And this reverence would've come to him at an early, impressionable age, when he and Flynn had first gone to the castle on an errand as children and vowed then to become Samurai. Seeing as Issachar is a Casualry from a remote village, I can see him believing the Samurai to be noble heroes who equally come to everyone's aid. This belief would certainly give a lot of hope to a young Casualry and something to aspire to be, especially for one struggling with his own village's expectations.

During the Kiccigiorgi mission, there are a pair of NPCs who are implied to be Issachar's parents (or at least close acquaintances). Yet instead of expressing concern for their son's safety during a crisis, they speak of his absence with contempt -- in sharp contrast to their lauding of Flynn's bravery. Mind, they haven't seen Issachar at all since he left for the Rite. They have no knowledge that he led the Sabbath and embraced the demonic. Their assumption and source of ire is that he has cowardly run off. Maybe even abandoned his duties before all of this even happened. While Flynn is busting his ass to save everyone, where the hell is that lousy Issachar?

If that's their reception towards him during a major crisis, then I don't think they were supportive of his ambitions and efforts either. They may have seen his training as goofing-off from work. Casualries becoming Samurai are almost unheard of, so why waste all his time doing that? It's a fact that a lot of Casualry NPCs early on have simply accepted their lot in life and it's this conformance that creates a divide between the elders and youths. The elders have no interest in the Sabbaths. There are Casualry elders who give God their thanks for their role, who let the Luxurors think for them, and who are too concerned with work than bigger issues.

All that, of course, is rooted with the Luxurors for creating a controlled, oppressive society. Nonetheless, to a Casualry youth who may not have realized that yet and wants more out of life yet is shown no support by their own peers, that is incredibly frustrating. The exchange from Issachar's implied parents is very short, but it paints the picture that Issachar was among those struggling with his own peers on top of the Luxurors. Maybe even at odds with his village at large. And I believe that to be one aspect that encouraged his aspiration to become a heroic Samurai. So that he could bring hope to his village and become someone they could look up to instead of down upon.

At the Gauntlet Ritie, Issachar reassures himself by repeatedly saying "I will become a Samurai... I'm definitely going to be a Samurai... A Samurai and Luxuror at that..." He chants becoming a Samurai three times and a Luxuror last. It's not that he doesn't want to escape his trade, but that he holds greater value in becoming a Samurai first and what that role signifies. Conversely, there is a NPC during the Rite who, having just been rejected, waves off the whole thing as a dog and pony show. And this is a crucial exchange as it directly counters the heavy significance that Issachar is placing in the Rite. What that NPC is saying is that the Rite and by extension the Samurai aren't actually as grandeur as the early narrative is suggesting.

Then, to be rejected and shortly afterwards discover books that open to new ways of thinking, it's likely that Issachar would've been confronted by the reality that the Samurai are not actually defenders of the people but soldiers who enforce the Luxurors' rule. And if he truly believed the Samurai to be just, noble heroes and aspired to become that, then this revelation would've been a painful one.

So Issachar is struggling with society, his unsupportive family/community, and his beliefs shattered. But there is also a fourth thing going on: his complicated relationship with Flynn. It needs to be said that Issachar, even before being rejected, is not without flaw. He didn't actually have confidence in Flynn’s success despite together vowing to become Samurai. While at the same time that Issachar is reassuring himself, he doesn't extend that same hope to Flynn. He never mentions "we will become Samurai" but consistently "I". He states this could be farewell and thus indirectly hints that Flynn would be the one leaving. And instead of feeling proud that his best friend and fellow Kiccigiorgi Casualry was chosen, his reaction is of appalled shock.

And this all culminates at Kiccigiorgi Forest. Issachar isn't happy to see Flynn to the rescue and responds back sarcastically. He tells him his revelations, but only "I'm telling you this because you're you." He is treating Flynn as stupid, incompetent, and undeserving of becoming a Samurai. At most Flynn is now just another Luxuror dog upholding authority, in contrast to the survivors who laud Flynn's arrival or knew him positively. It's very possible that Issachar is also jealous of that, especially if he was like an older brother to Flynn and helped him out with most things. Like baiting hooks.

I imagine, following his rejection, Issachar must've felt abandoned by Flynn and his future stolen by him. Now Flynn gets to be that heroic Samurai that everyone can look up to. Worse, he may even betray his Casualry roots and forget all about Kiccigiorgi. Issachar essentially expresses that belief during his battle depending on how Flynn responds and it's why he reacts with surprised torment and regret for his actions if Flynn affirms that he is still a Casualry.

Now of course, none of this is actually Flynn's fault nor his intention. Issachar is running on high emotion. Regardless of the Rite though, it still doesn't change the fact that Issachar initially doubted Flynn. Issachar has a selfish side, and that's a good thing actually, as that gives him more nuance and his reaction is honestly a natural one. But he also comes around to overcoming that jealousy at the end and, in his final words, pleads that Flynn becomes that "magnificent Samurai" that he dreamed the Samurai to be.

So having gone through all that -- the oppression, the shattered moral value he placed in the Samurai, his lack of community support and pressure to prove himself, and his future seemingly stolen by his best friend and then abandoned -- it's infuriating. It's soul crushing. Where do you go from there when you have placed your entire worth into one moment that has never guaranteed you a future? Back to the village, alone, that's already disappointed in you? It's little wonder then why he became easy prey to the Black Samurai looking to stoke that anger and why he'd throw everything away. And it's because of those complex emotions and beliefs that I believe Issachar would struggle even as a Samurai.

I believe Issachar's idealization is where he and Walter differ greatly. Walter doesn't revere the Samurai nor does he place his entire worth in being one or upholding their image. He doesn't adopt a heroic or Luxuror identity. Walter also wanted to escape his family trade, but the way he treats the Samurai is much less of a life's goal and more as a pleasantly surprising turn of events. If he were denied, he would've likely sought his own way of escape. I earnestly don't believe that Walter actually aspired or even hoped to become a Samurai. Walter also runs high emotions, but he is still able to reign those in. He is able to hone his anger into a strength as opposed to a vulnerability. And he tends to be a lot more realistic or grounded.

And it's those differences where I think that the idealistic Issachar and realistic Walter would honestly clash. Maybe not necessarily as a heated argument (at least not right away), but as an annoyed or awkward discomfort. In some ways, Issachar actually has more in common with Jonathan insofar as their views of the Samurai.

Now obviously, who knows what would've happened if Issachar did become a Samurai. I do think he would at least be able to cope much better, having finally made it. But I also still believe that his idealized view of the Samurai would begin to crack while still clinging onto those same values. Maybe he would still fall to demonic influence out of despair. Maybe become a resigned, insipid shell of himself. Maybe emboldened to become that noble hero at all costs. Maybe his jealousy of Flynn would even carry on with him. Who really knows?

But if he did become a Samurai, I cannot see him as "Another Walter" nor would I want him to be.

#Shin Megami Tensei #Shin Megami Tensei IV #SMT #SMT4 #SMTIV #Issachar #Megaten #character analysis #rusty's analyses

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keerysquinn · 2 years

Text

Risking It All

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Summary: You and Steve have been best friends for ages, and you’ve developed a bit of a crush on him. But are you willing to tell him when it could mean losing what you already have?

CW/TW: brief mention of underage drinking, but otherwise, this is all fluff

Word Count: 2.8K

* * *

You entered the video store and immediately made your way over to the shelf of new releases. Normally, you would have headed to the counter first, but Steve and Robin were both busy with customers, and you didn’t want to get in their way. You had no problem annoying your friends while they were working. You just didn’t want to do it when it could get them in trouble with their boss, and getting them to ignore their customers for you was definitely on the list of things that normally agitated Keith.

When nothing on the new releases shelf grabbed your attention, and once the customers at the counter cleared, you made your way over to the candy rack and grabbed yourself a pack of Red Vines and a pack of Reese’s Pieces. You needed a candy fix, and if you were going to have a movie night with your friends, snacks were a must.

“You’re planning on sharing those with me, right?” Steve asked as you set your purchases on the counter.

“That depends,” you replied. “What are you going to give me for them?”

“Isn’t my presence enough of a treat?”

You wrinkled your nose and shook your head. “Not when there are Reese’s Pieces involved.”

“Friends and family discount then?”

“I thought Keith told you to stop giving out your discount to just anyone?”

“He did,” Robin said. “And he told us to stop fraternizing with the customers while we’re working, but we haven’t started listening to that rule either.”

“Fair enough,” You said as you handed over enough money to pay full price for the candy. “So, what is the Queen of Cinema forcing us to watch tonight?”

Weekly movie nights had become routine for the trio. Typically, Robin chose something that she felt that the two of you needed to see, and you and Steve pretended to complain and joked that it wasn’t a real movie if Tom Cruise wasn’t in it. You ordered pizza and popped way too much popcorn - the excess of which was often tossed at Steve’s head when he wasn’t looking as you and Robin tried to see who could get more kernels stuck in his perfect hair. More often than not, the three of you stayed up late enough talking that you all fell asleep on the couches in Steve’s living room. It was your favorite part of the week.

“The Apartment,” Robin said. “It’s one of my favorites, and it’s about time you two saw it. And before you ask, Tom Cruise wasn’t even born yet when this movie came out.”

“Not a real movie,” you and Steve said in unison before sharing a smirk.

“You two are awful.”

“That’s why you love us,” you laughed. You tore open your pack of Red Vines and pulled one out. When Steve reached out for one, you stepped back just far enough that he couldn’t reach you from his space behind the counter.

“You know I could just climb over and take one if I really wanted to,” he told you.

“I’d like to see you try,” you replied before taking a bite of the Red Vine.

Steve quirked an eyebrow. “Maybe I will.”

Without another word, Steve easily hoisted himself up and over the counter. You could have tried to hold the candy above your head, but Steve was at least half a foot taller than you, so that never would have worked. Instead, you tried to push him back with one hand against his chest while your other arm was outstretched as far as possible to stay out of his reach. Steve wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you back against his chest as he struggled to reach the package that you held just out of his reach.

“You’re going to get fired for assaulting a paying customer,” you laughed, squirming in his grasp.

“Worth it,” Steve replied.

“Maybe I’ll skip movie night,” Robin said as she leaned her elbows against the counter. “I don’t want to be a third wheel to whatever hetero nonsense this is.”

You nearly choked on your Red Vine as you froze and instantly stopped struggling against Steve. “Excuse me?”

“Please. You two have been flirting non-stop for weeks now, and I’m tired of waiting for you to stop dancing around whatever’s going on here.”

You could feel your cheeks start to burn as you and Steve let go of each other and immediately put some space between yourselves. You couldn’t deny that there was some playful, low risk flirting going on between you two, but you figured that was all it was. No matter how attractive he might have been, you had rules about dating your friends. Especially a best friend like Steve. That just wasn’t something you did because you weren’t willing to lose a friendship in the event that the relationship turned sour. You were afraid that the reward wasn’t worth the risk even if you did feel something growing between you and Steve.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you said with a shrug as you took another bite of your candy.

“I’m like that with everyone,” Steve said, refusing to make eye contact with either of you.

“That may be true, but she isn’t,” Robin said, gesturing towards you. “So, I don’t know, maybe talk about whatever you need to talk about so all of the children you’re friends with will stop asking me if I know what’s going on between you two.”

Internally, you cursed Dustin and all of his friends. You’d told them at least a dozen times that there was nothing going on between you and Steve, and now they’d gone and brought Robin into the mix. It didn’t matter what they thought though. It didn’t even matter how you really felt about him. With so much uncertainty in your life, the last thing you wanted to do was risk making your friendship with Steve awkward by bringing weird romantic feelings into it. He was your best friend and one of the very few people you could tell anything to. You were not going to lose all of that over a silly little crush that could blow over any day now.

You grabbed the rest of your candy off the counter and started heading towards the door.

“Well, would you look at the time,” you said as you glanced down at your swatch. “I’m totally running late, and my mom will kill me if I’m not home in time for dinner. I’ll see you guys later.”

You were out the door before Steve or Robin could say another word successfully putting off that awkward conversation for at least a couple more hours.

* * *

On the drive home from the video store, you had decided on skipping movie night. You knew it was cowardly of you, but after Robin had basically challenged you and Steve to figure out what was going on between the two of you, you couldn’t imagine facing either of them that night. So, you made a plan. You’d wait until you knew that they were off work and back at Steve’s house, and then you’d call over with some story about how you had started feeling nauseous after dinner, so it was probably for the best if you stayed home. You’d even told your mom that you weren't feeling well and turned down watching a movie with her and your dad to make the lie seem more believable.

And since you thought you had the perfect plan, you were surprised to see Steve standing outside your door poised to knock when you went to go and call him to cancel.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, somewhat hiding behind your door. You were already in your pajamas for the evening and didn’t want him to see you. It wasn’t like Steve hadn’t seen you dressed like that before. More often than not, you and Robin both brought pajamas over to his house on movie night since you ended up sleeping there so often, and Steve had gotten sick of you begging to borrow all of his sweatpants when you were uncomfortable because you never returned his clothes. But with the awkwardness hanging in the air after Robin brought your relationship front and center, it almost felt weird to you to have him there while you were only half dressed.

“Robin canceled on us,” he said with a shrug. “Something about food poisoning and not wanting to risk getting sick at my house. So, I figured I’d just cross the street and we could hang out here instead.”

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t really feeling well after dinner. I was just about to call you to say I couldn't come over.” You cursed Robin internally. Your excuse felt just as stupid and fake as it actually was when Robin had used the same one.

“That’s what your mom said. Though, I’m guessing your mysterious illness is just about as real as Robin’s,” he said with a smirk. “If you really don’t want to hang out with me that badly, you can just say so. I’m a big, tough guy. I can take it.”

You stifled a laugh. “Says the guy who’s only ever won one fight.”

“Only because you won’t fight me,” he teased.

“And risk messing up that pretty face of yours? I could never.”

“So, are you gonna let me in, or not?” he asked, shoving his hands in his front jeans pockets. “Because I’m cool to continue having this conversation in the hallway, but I figured you’d maybe want it to be a little more private?”

As much as you wanted to avoid what you knew was coming, you knew that Steve was right. The last thing you needed was for your parents to bear witness to your complete and total humiliation. You’d never hear the end of it, so you begrudgingly stepped aside to let Steve enter your room. After shutting the door behind you, you made your way over to your bed and sat down with your back against the headboard, clutching a pillow against your chest in an attempt to protect yourself. What you were protecting yourself from, you didn’t know.

Steve sat down across from you at the foot of the bed after kicking off his sneakers. You’d told him to quit getting your comforter dirty enough times that you didn’t have to remind him that you hated when people wore shoes on your bed anymore.

“So,” he started, “you attempting to cancel our plans wouldn’t have anything to do with what Robin said earlier now would it?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about in the slightest. I blocked out that entire incredibly awkward exchange completely.”

“Right.” Steve let out a sigh. “Listen. As embarrassing as it was for Robin to bring that up like that, I just want you to know that if I ever made you feel uncomfortable or anything, I’m sorry. That was never my intention. And if you really don’t want to have this conversation right now, we don’t have to have it. Who cares what Robin thinks anyway?”

You couldn’t even look him in the eye. You knew what you wanted to say, and you knew what you needed to tell him. You just didn’t know if you could find the right words to say it.

“You never made me uncomfortable,” you told him, clutching your pillow a little tighter. “You’ve been nothing if not a perfect gentleman and an even better friend to me. It’s more that I got too comfortable with you, if that makes any sense.”

“Y/N, I -”

“Please let me finish,” you said, cutting him off. “If I don’t find a way to say this now, I don’t think I ever will.”

You took a deep breath to collect yourself before continuing.

“Robin wasn’t wrong. Sometimes, there does feel like something more could be going on between us, but I’ve gotten really good at ignoring the nagging voice in the back of my head that tells me that this is more than friendship. You were the first friend I made after moving here, and you are a hundred and ten percent my best friend. I value what we already have so much which is why I could never do anything that would put our friendship at risk. I cannot afford to be the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve if it means that I could lose you, and that’s why I panicked when Robin brought it up. I thought that I had been doing such a good job at squashing any inkling of attraction towards you that I was mortified to realize I was so much more obvious than I thought. So, please, if there’s any chance that I’ve just completely and totally ruined everything, forget that I’ve said any of this and go back to just being my best friend.”

“So, you think I’m attractive?” Steve teased. “I mean, I don’t blame you. Just look at me.”

You groaned and buried your face deep into your pillow.

“Is that really all you got from my speech?” you asked, voice muffled. “This is why I didn’t want to say anything. Excuse me while I go crawl under a rock and die now.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve said with a laugh. “I’ll take this seriously. Please don’t crawl under a rock and die.”

He gently tugged the pillow out of your arms and set it aside.

“Do you remember what you said to me that night at my parents’ Christmas party? After we got cornered under the mistletoe and kissed?”

“You’re going to have to be more specific. I said a lot of things that night, and it’s a little fuzzy in my memory. Especially the parts that happened after we stole that bottle of rum from your father’s liquor cabinet.”

“You told me that the kiss we shared under the mistletoe was a one time thing, and that I was never allowed to do that ever again under any circumstances which I found funny because you were the one who initiated that kiss.”

“That’s only because four-chardonnays-too-many Sharon wouldn’t stop badgering us about what a cute couple we were, and I was willing to gnaw my own arm off if I thought that it would get us out of there.”

“The point is that you have always been very clear about the rules that go along with being your friend, and I respected that. Have I ever once broken that rule?”

“No. You haven’t.”

“Exactly. Because I value your friendship, too,” he said as he reached out and took your hand in his. “For a stupid amount of time, you were the only person that didn’t hold me to the impossible standard of being King Steve, and you consistently call me on my bullshit. I’m not going to get sappy with you here, but I’ll promise you that nothing you said is going to change our friendship as long as your no kissing rule is still on the table. Because if you want to keep the rule, I can live with that. But maybe, I’d be interested in breaking it.”

You had been staring at your hands as he spoke, but you looked up at him when he finished talking.

“Really?” you asked.

“Really. I’ve been thinking that I could maybe break that rule for a while now, but I didn’t want to do anything if it’s not what you wanted.”

“Well, what if I told you that that rule had run its course? That I was maybe a little too hasty in making it, and that certain rules were made to be broken?”

“Then I’d have to do something like this.”

Without another word, Steve dropped your hand and moved to brush your hair away from your face. He cupped your cheek in his hand and leaned in to place a soft kiss on your lips. This one was different from the mistletoe kiss. That one was all rushed and just for show. A kiss between two reluctant friends who had just wanted to hide out in the laundry room eating appetizers and maybe avoid being harassed by their parents’ work colleagues. But this one? Well, this one ignited a spark between the two of you that you’d both been fighting so desperately to suppress. This one meant everything.

As Steve pulled away, you broke out into a rather large grin.

“So, do you think we should call Robin and let her know we worked things out?” he asked. “Maybe see if she’s miraculously healed in time for our movie night?”

“I don’t know,” you replied. “I was thinking we should let her rest and fully recover. We can always tell her about this tomorrow.”

“I like the way you think.”

And with that, you were the one to initiate the next of many kisses.

#steve harrington x reader #stranger things fanfic #my writing #steve harrington

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crowtrobotx · 11 months

Text

As promised, for my beloved Heisenmoots, I have written a little something. Just a little extra. A little bit of Ethan suffering because he has to be friends with the worst old man on earth for the sake of Rose. As a treat. <3 This was kind of hastily written as an introduction to a modern/no village AU - if people like it I will happily add continuations to this and make it a little side series, just for yucks. I hope you enjoy and I love you all a disgusting amount. Title: A Rose and A Butterfly Word count: 3478 Characters: Ethan Winters, Rose Winters, Mia Winters, Karl Heisenberg, fem!OC, daughter!OC Warnings: None (unless you’re not cool with cursing)

When Rose came home and excitedly announced that she’d made a new friend, Ethan Winters couldn’t have been happier. He worried excessively about her at the best of times. With the move to a new town after Mia’s recent job change, he knew that they risked making her already precarious social situation even more fragile. Rose had struggled with forming lasting relationships at her old school, due in no small part to the rampant bullying that seemed to have gone unchecked by every single adult responsible for her with Ethan and Mia weren’t present. Perhaps it was a good thing that they all were getting a fresh start. Still, Ethan had tried not to let his expectations run too high. This had happened before, after all. Sometimes it turned out the other kid or kids in question were lying, pulling off some elaborate scheme to just break her heart in the end. Other times they simply drifted apart, deciding that they didn’t want to associate with someone so far down in the social pecking order. From his vantage point, Ethan was pretty sure being a young girl sounded like the most miserable, complicated experience he could imagine.

Fortunately, this time was different. He pulled up to the pick up location outside of the small town’s middle school to see Rose waiting with a much shorter, stockier girl, dark hair wrangled into two messy buns atop her head. There was a woman standing next to them who looked like she was probably her mother, given how their wild curls matched and the way Rose’s friend kept throwing her a pleading look that Ethan recognized well as the please, I’ll never ask for anything ever again I swear face. He rolled down the window of his SUV and waved politely at the two strangers.

“Dad!” Rose shouted excitedly. “This is my friend Lottie! Can I go over to her house?”

Before Ethan could even open his mouth to respond, Lottie had bounded up to the side of the vehicle and was peering up at him with a fiery gaze. “My mom already said yes,” she explained with a firm nod. “I promise we’re not a family of serial killers. Papa’s fridge in the garage is busted anyway, nowhere to store the organs.”

“Jesus - Lottie. Back up, sweetheart.”

Her mother urged her back onto the sidewalk and approached, laughing awkwardly. She reminded Ethan a bit what he imagined a cool art teacher would look like, with her leather jacket and dark jeans contrasted by several loud, colorful accessories. He could see a couple of tattoos poking out from under her clothes and the glint of a septum piercing flashed in the autumn sunshine. She lowered her voice and scratched the back of her neck, looking apologetic.

“I’m sorry, she’s–”

“She’s fun,” Ethan said with a sincere laugh. He could tell why they got along already - Rose had a wicked sense of humor and Lottie had already made it known that she lacked a filter. “I’m Ethan. I hear our daughters are friends.”

“Kris,” the woman’s shoulders relaxed at last. “I know you don’t know me, or my demon child, but I’m totally fine with Rose coming over. You wanna follow me so you know where she is? We can exchange numbers there.”

Rose practically buzzed with excitement the entire drive. It made Ethan nearly want to cry. The poor kid had been through so much - he had done all he could to protect her and nurture her, as had Mia - but there came a point when the world inevitably sunk its claws in and all he could do was sit back and pray that he’d equipped her properly to fight her battles. So lost in thought he was as they drove to a wooded, semi-rural area nearly at the city limits that he didn’t notice Kris’s “How am I driving? I’m not. This vehicle is driven by 700 rats.” bumper sticker until they’d nearly arrived.

Okay, this family was a teensy bit eccentric. It was fine. Rose seemed happy, that’s all that mattered. Kris appeared to be a perfectly competent person and the way his daughter talked about her friend (and how she’d decked a kid twice her size who’d said something nasty to Rose), he had no reason to think these weren’t decent people.

After pulling down the driveway to the house, obscured entirely from the road by thick trees, Lottie and Rose bounded out of their respective vehicles to meet on the lawn and whisper excitedly about whatever little plans they’d concocted. They ignored Ethan’s inquiries about any homework that needed done before scurrying up to the wide, covered porch. Ethan heard a dog barking excitedly when the front door opened, followed by Rose’s giggling and Lottie yelling “Sturm! Get down! You big idiot…”

“I’m sorry about the rusted out cars and shit out back,” Kris said, appearing at his side and gesturing to a rather impressive pile of junk partially visible behind the house. “My husband is a mechanic. He keeps swearing he’s gonna restore that crap or at least break it down for parts but I think aliens will invade before that happens. I promise the inside of the place doesn’t look like that - despite his best efforts.”

Ethan smiled. “Oh, it’s fine. You should see what my living room looks like when my wife decides to go on one of her crafting sprees.” Of course, a bunch of rusting metal that looked like a tetanus amusement park was a little different from a bunch of paper scraps and glue, but who was counting. “A mechanic, huh? We’re new in town. Would be nice to know a guy who could take a look at our cars. He any good?”

Ethan had said the last part as a joke.

“Oh, he sucks.” Ethan gaped. Kris smirked, looking fondly toward the garage. “I mean, he’s good at what he does. Really good. But he’s a cranky weirdo with the social skills of a feral raccoon. And yet, he’s my feral raccoon. I’ll make sure he fixes your shit if you ever need it.”

If the girls hadn’t already gone inside, Ethan might have considered suddenly remembering a very important engagement that he and Rose absolutely had to attend under any circumstances. His anxieties were quelled slightly over the next few minutes while he and Kris dissolved into pleasant small talk - he had the feeling she and Mia might get along well. They exchanged phone numbers and agreed upon a pickup time, Ethan insisting that she didn’t need to drive over and drop her off after offering to make dinner and ensure that any school projects got done.

“Better make sure that nothing’s on fire yet inside,” Kris said before bidding him farewell and disappearing through a side door.

Ethan stood still for a moment, trying to dispel his ever-present worry. He eventually took a few paces toward the car before, in the silence that followed Kris and the girls’ departure, he noticed the sound of a radio emanating from the garage. It was what Rose affectionately referred to as dad rock; this time it was “Fortunate Son” by Creedence Clearwater Revival. And it was loud. He supposed they didn’t really have to worry about bothering any neighbors out here, but he was almost offended on behalf of the local wildlife.

I should introduce myself, Ethan thought. It was only polite - his daughter was probably going to be coming over to the man’s house with regularity. Kris had made him sound like a curmudgeon, but Ethan was used to that sort of thing at work. At least half of the people who contacted his department were old guys who felt emasculated by the fact that they couldn’t figure out how to convert a Word document into a PDF.

He could handle him. How bad could he be?

As Ethan drew closer to the garage, he became aware of the sound of - and he didn’t use this word lightly - utterly horrific, off-tune singing accompanied by the light tink tink of someone trying to drum along in time with a wrench. He couldn’t see anyone through all the stacked up boxes, car parts and frankly odd bits and bobs - the whole place looked like it was one small seismic event from collapsing. Not to mention that the place smelled like a combination auto body shop and cigar emporium. He wasn’t sure what was more polite - to yell a greeting over the cacophony, or to quietly enter and risk scaring the man.

He opted for the former. “Hello? Mr. Uh. Lottie’s dad? Sir?” Ethan grimaced at his own unwieldy introduction.

The radio almost instantaneously shut off, followed by a frankly eerie silence. Ethan froze. He cleared his throat, trying to sound as pleasant as possible despite feeling like he’d just walked into a horror movie set. “I’m Rose’s dad? Lottie’s friend? I just dropped her off and wanted to–”

The hidden man poked his welding mask-clad head around the corner at last. His shoulder-length gray hair had frizzed in every direction, looking like the world’s dirtiest halo. He seemed to give Ethan a once over before lifting the mask up, grinning maniacally through his unkempt beard.

“Oh, so you’re Butterfly’s friend’s papa! Didn’t realize you were coming over! Have a seat over here, don’t be shy!”

Ethan was taken aback. This wasn’t the grouchy old man he’d been anticipating - he’d thoroughly expected to exchange a few manly grunts with him before retreating home to nurse a bottle of merlot and feel like he’d been chastised by his peepaw.

“Come on, come on, don’t got all day.”

Ah. There it was.

Ethan squeezed himself through the mess until he found a blessedly semi-clear space, complete with workbench and a couple of metal chairs. He could see now that the man had been working deep in an old car’s engine, and a pretty one at that. He couldn’t quite discern the make and model - a Firebird, perhaps? - but even in the low light he could see the cherry red paint, dashboard hula girl and goofy, fuzzy dice hanging in the rearview mirror. Ethan may not have been a big car guy but he knew a man’s baby when he saw one.

Lottie’s father leaned against the hood, arms crossed over a Def Leppard t-shirt that had seen better days, the print faded so much as to be near unrecognizable. Ethan sat down awkwardly in front of the workbench, charmed to see that in addition to the scattered blueprints and scribbled notes, there was an abundance of crayon drawings done no doubt by Lottie and pictures of her pinned everywhere on the corkboard hanging overhead. There were a couple of photos of him and his wife together, a couple magazine cutouts of antique vehicles, but to see this stereotypical looking man’s man dominate his space with pictures of and done by an 11 year old girl was strangely endearing.

“So,” the mechanic purred, “Lottie’s told me your girl and her are pals. Which means you and I have some bonding to do.”

“I guess so,” Ethan laughed, still somewhat wary. “I’m Ethan Winters. Rose is my daughter - we just moved here from the city a few months ago.”

“Heisenberg,” the man waved a hand, almost sounding bored. “Karl Heisenberg. I’m the poor asshole everyone around here calls when their shit breaks.”

“Yeah, Kris told me that you were a mechanic. I hope this isn’t presumptuous, but I’d love for you to take a look at my SUV when you have a chance - it started making this weird clunking noise when we were halfway through moving.”

“You met my wife?”

“I did, she–”

“Don’t get any ideas.”

Ethan laughed. Karl did not. This man is insane.

“I– uh, I wasn’t planning on it,” Ethan cleared his throat. He was frantically looking around now for the quickest exit, lest he end up on this week’s latest unexplained disappearance crime report. “We met up at school when the girls were out and we exchanged phone numbers just so we could coordinate play dates. I’m happily married myself, I assure you.”

At last, the mechanic’s serious face broke into a grin again. “ Hah! Look at your face. Oh, calm down - I’m just yankin’ your leg. I know you’re not here for any nefarious purposes. You’d be pig slop in seconds if you ever tried anything.” Ethan did not want to know what that meant. “You want a beer, Winters?”

Jesus, yes. Ethan nodded. “That would be great, thanks… Karl.”

Karl handed him an open, half drunk can of PBR that was sitting on a nearby stool. He fished around in the broken fridge Lottie had mentioned earlier, helping himself to a fresh one. Ethan stared at the can in his hand, wondering privately when the cast from Punked! was going to burst through the door.

“Yeah, my Lottie said your Rose was having problems with one of the local asshole kids,” Karl said thoughtfully, as if what he’d just done wasn’t incredibly bizarre and off-putting. “What’s her name, Alice? Always thought that kid was a dick. I’ve taught Butterfly from the day she could talk to hit first, ask questions later. Might not be the popular parenting technique these days, but I don’t want her ever taking shit from someone who she wouldn’t go to for advice. Sounds like your kid’s been having some problems.”

Ethan thumbed the beer tab, unsure of how much he wanted to disclose to this relative stranger. “We’ve had to move a few times because of her mom’s job,” he explained. “It’s been hard on her. I worry. This is the first time Rosie’s had a friend last more than a few weeks.”

Karl raised an eyebrow. “Lottie’s a good kid. She ain’t gonna give your precious Rose grief unless she deserves it. By the way, what’s the deal? She stayin’ overnight or what?”

“It’s a Tuesday,” Ethan blinked. “School night? I wasn’t planning on it. Kris– uh, your wife said she’d give them dinner and then I was gonna come back around 7:30. If that’s alright?”

“Fine fine,” Karl took a swig from his can before swaggering over to an open toolbox, fishing through a massive selection of nuts and bolts. “Tuesday’s our movie night. Just wanted to make sure you’re not gonna be throwing off my plans. I’ve been working on this new popcorn machine prototype - those assholes at the patent office never appreciate my genius - that’s shaped like a dragon. It breathes popcorn out of its mouth like fire - fuckin’ sick, Winters. I think I fixed a little bug it had where it would, ah, also spew boiling hot butter into your face at the same time. Shame, that. Just because of a little thing like third degree burns, innovation stagnates.”

“Why.” Ethan stared. “Why… would someone want that?”

“Why wouldn’t they?” Karl snarled, clearly offended. “You haven’t touched your drink I gave you, by the way.”

Ethan really needed to leave - Mia was probably wondering where on earth he was. He felt like he’d been hit by a bus, in all honesty. He’d gone from ecstatic to hear of Rose’s new friendship, to somewhat worried at her going to a new place, to simultaneously terrified and fascinated to meet the people he’d likely have to make nice with for his daughter’s sake. He wasn’t about to jeopardize the first good thing in her life in what felt like eternity, but he also had zero desire to spend any more time than necessary with this bizarre man he was getting extreme stoner uncle with a criminal history vibes from.

Mercifully, the tension was broken by an excited, high-pitched voice from outside.

“Papa! Look what Rose showed me!”

Lottie zipped through the maze of the garage with practiced ease, not paying any mind to Ethan. Karl’s face morphed from suspicious irritation to soft delight so quickly that it seemed like an entirely different man was standing in the room now, casting aside his drink to intercept his daughter and hoist her up into an affectionate embrace. Lottie shoved an item that Ethan recognized to be Rose’s small, engraved knife - a gift from Chris, one that had been entirely unnecessary but remained a prized possession nevertheless - into his face.

“Ah, she just has that in case of emergencies–” Ethan felt the need to explain, lest he look like a maniac in front of the actual maniac. He didn’t necessarily like that his daughter carried it around, but he also didn’t love the idea of her being completely unarmed in case of an emergent situation. His own life experiences had taught him that preparedness was far preferable to playing it safe, even if it wasn’t the way things should be.

“Fuckin’ cool,” Karl grinned like a madman again. “Too bad Mama won’t let you have one, huh? I’ll keep workin’ at her - don’t worry. Looks like plain old Ethan is more exciting than we thought.”

“Plain?” Ethan stammered.

Rosemary appeared at last, casting her father a hesitant smile. “We weren’t doing anything weird, I promise. Mrs. Heisenberg sent us outside because she uhm, she said she wanted to make sure Lottie’s dad wasn’t ‘terrorizing’ you.”

Karl feigned a look of hurt. “I can’t believe she’d ever believe me capable of such a thing! Oh, well. Never fear, Rose - your dad was just leaving, wasn’t he? And in one piece at that. You can assure the missus that nothing bad happened. We’re bros now, right? Ethan? Bros?”

“Papa,” Lottie rolled her eyes.

“We are not bros,” Ethan answered far, far too quickly. “Ah. Not yet.” Please god, not ever. “But, yes, I was just leaving. Thank you for looking after Rose. I’ll be back in a few hours. Unless you want to be picked up early?” He tried not to look too desperate while he waited for his daughter’s response.

“No, I’m good staying for dinner!” Rose rocked on her heels anxiously. “C’mon, Lottie, we better finish that science project so we can get to Mario Kart.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lottie groaned, resigned. “Papa, will you play with us later? When you’re done?”

Karl smirked, setting her down and giving a fiendish wink. “Only if you kids want your asses kicked.”

“Papa, you’ve literally never won–”

“Bye, girls!” he hummed happily. “Better get some practice in if you wanna have a prayer!”

The daughters exchanged a look before giggling at some secret joke and sprinting off again, leaving the two men in awkward silence again. Ethan stood, trying to think of a decent way to bid Karl farewell without expressing just how deranged he’d found this whole encounter. Fortunately for him, the mechanic spoke first, in a tone that seemed wholly different from their earlier interactions.

“They’re the best, huh? Those little girls. I’d raze a whole village to the ground if Lottie asked me to.”

Ethan blinked, taken aback. “I’d do the same for Rose,” he said without hesitation.

Karl looked back at him, oddly thoughtful for just long enough to be unnerving, before the demented sparkle returned to his eyes.

“So, anyway. When you come back to pick her up later, there’s this toaster I’ve been trying to modify that I want you to look at. To get the “every man” perspective or whatever. Ignore the fact that it sometimes talks about wondering if it has a soul or whatever, I’ll patch that out.”

“Oh, well see,” Ethan began walking back to his car at an unashamedly brisk pace. “Rose has a doctor’s appointment in the morning and I really shouldn’t linger. In fact, it might be my wife who comes and picks her up depending on how the yard work I’ve got piling up goes. But next time!”

Please let ‘next time’ be Rose’s graduation and no sooner.

“Winters! Hey! Get back here - ah, fuck you too. I’ll get your address from your wife and bring it over this weekend if tonight isn’t good! Are you even listening to me–”

Ethan Winters had never received a speeding ticket in his life. But as he peeled out of the Heisenberg driveway, still clutching the half full beer can, he wondered if it wouldn’t be worth it to put as much distance between himself and that strange man as humanly possible.

“Whatever,” he finally exhaled when he saw the dim glow of the main body of town coming into view. “He’ll probably forget all about me after a day or two. It’ll be fine. This is for Rose, after all. I can handle Lottie’s upsetting dad if it benefits her. What’s the worst that could happen?”

We’re bros now, right?

Ethan downed the rest of the drink once he was safely back in his own garage. It was going to be a long, long school year.

#not putting in the main tags bc i feel like all the people who knew these characters/read my fic are already followers/moots #but feel free to rb!! or don't lol i feel like this isn't very good but oh well #i just think ethan and karl are served so well by a deranged platonic one sided bromance #it is my favorite dynamic for them and i would love to write more of it #actually you know what I am putting it in the main tags fuck it #Karl Heisenberg #karl heisenberg x oc #Karl heisenberg fanfiction

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