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#*insert '...i guess' meme*
egophiliac · 20 days
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we were fucking ROBBED
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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maypersonne · 10 months
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Shang Qinghua really does think that he is unlovable huh
He really thinks that he is of no value to anyone if he isn't making himself useful he will be disposed off and that will be it
He genuinely believes no would ever want him so he manipulate and posture as a lesser so to be seen as a necessary annoyance rather than the pest he believes himself to be
He hates all the work he has to do but he prefers exhaustion to the paranoia and anxiety that eat him up when he isn't showcasing his value
He is in a constant battle just to be acceptable rather than loved so he can just be in the presence of those who are dear to him
Like damn like father like son I can see where binghe got all his issues like airplane bro stop unloading it all on your OCs look you gave the poor dear anxiety
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maochira · 9 months
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the-likesofus · 1 year
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anyone else notice how in the 6x01 lasagna dinner Christopher was sitting at the head of the table between Buck and Eddie but in the scene from 6x13 he's on the other side of Eddie and Buck and Eddie are sitting next to eachother on the corner of the table I dunno just something about them moving closer together and not using Chris as a shield between them anymore
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themarsbar · 1 month
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i was thinking about the time my mom saw me watching a video of omar's concert and her first comment after asking me if he was the guy i flew to sweden for (she had never seen him, knew absolutely nothing about him) was a surprised 'oh, he's not ugly!'
first of all what a weird thing to say.
but second of all imagine referring to omar rudberg as 'not ugly'. that's the oddest, funniest descriptor one could come up with that is also technically Not Wrong
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kayniscanem · 2 months
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Not much different from my day-to-day life, but if I were thrown into Silent Hill, I would fuck everything up so badly, but, oh my god, do I try…
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bordonfreeman · 5 months
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Feeling silly
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idiotwithoutagoodname · 10 months
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If stream platforms would stop giving our begrudgingly anarchic black and red character a devastating break up scene with his lovely yet utterly brainwashed blond golden boyfriend, I would really appreciate it.
It would to wonders to my mental health (actually don’t I love them as they are and they need the character development anyway)
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persephoneflowerpetals · 11 months
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How Hades & Persephone be lookin when they go to bed:
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kestrel-wish · 6 months
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Why is it whenever I notice a silly little similarity in something I feel the need to share it immediately.
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folongle · 3 months
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I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DRAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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sharlmbracta · 4 months
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i'm gonna fuckign die this year lmao
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burkleswinifred · 5 months
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i'm aware this is only funny to me
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occudo · 1 year
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I'm not sure if you had a specific song in mind when you drew everyone dancing, but the one that came immediately to mind for me was "Minami's Boogie" by Taro Umebayashi :)
That's a good choice, it definitely fits the vibe 😀 It was "Posin' " - the Peggy Suave version
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russellius · 10 months
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via
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