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azaffranist · 4 years

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Deleted lines of dialogue in Frozen 2

We know that F2’s plot suffered from last minute changes and even leaks that we got before the release contradict the final material, but that’s another can of worms for another post. What I wanna talk about in this post is something I happened to notice a few days ago while watching the Frozen 2 Outtakes video available with the Blu-ray version of the movie. Here’s a link to it. My apologies if there’s a post out there already talking about this, but I haven’t seen one so I thought I might as well give it a go.

Basically, the video is a recollection of funny moments that arose when the voice actors were recording their lines. But… I don’t know if this was deliberate or an oversight on Disney’s part, or if they didn’t care too much about it at the end of the day and released it anyways. The thing is, we can see the original dialogue they were supposed to record as tiny subtitles, and good god, there are tons of deleted lines, including an earlier version of Some Things Never Change, and some point to the existence of completely different scenes from the ones we got. Here’s what I mean:

I don’t recall ever coming across deleted lines for Frozen 1 apart from the famous “That’s no blizzard, that’s my sister”, so this is pretty interesting.

But in addition to that, while digging through some old files I found recorded lines of a Frozen 2 book that came out before release (Specifically on October 4th, 2019, when the Frozen Fan Fest was being held with the first released merch). That’s a long, long time ago and I don’t remember the name of the book, sadly, but you can listen to the recording I made right here. If someone does remember the name of the book that’d be really cool. I think the original recording was provided by Snow on the Arendelle Kingdom Discord server, so credits to her.

UPDATE: The book was found along with other interesting pieces of info! It’s called Frozen 2 Read-Along Storybook and CD. Credits to @lovewillthaw-j and their amazing detective work! Here it is.

What’s particularly interesting about this one is that no merch released on October 4 had the ending of the movie. Every book was cut off at the moment Anna received Elsa’s message in the cave, with no mention of Show Yourself or Elsa’s death for that matter. Now, we don’t know if they were trying not to spoil the movie, or if they legitimately didn’t have a final ending at the time the books were made. Knowing how… messy Frozen 2’s development was, I think we can all sort of agree it was the latter.

Because of this, there is some really intriguing stuff. Nods to scenes that aren’t in the final movie, shameless hints to Elsa’s permanent death, events happening in a different order… I don’t know if these lines were recorded only for the book, but I doubt they were, because many of those lines are actually in the movie or are referenced in books and some have really slight modifications like changes in tone of voice. I guess we’ll never Find The Truth™, but we can analyze these lines too because they can give us an idea of what earlier versions of the movie were like.

So let’s look at them one by one. Looooong post ahead.

Frozen 2 Outtakes Video

“Should have left it to me. Love you too. You blew it Kristoff. Oh. I’m alone. It’s fine.” – Kristoff/Sven

This one definitely happens during Kristoff’s first proposal attempt. Before this line, Anna says, “She couldn’t act out ice?” and we can assume Kristoff absent mindedly responds with “Should have left it to me”. That makes sense, considering he delivers ice for a living and ice is his life. Then we got “Love you too”, which Kristoff says in the final movie, but then we got Sven dialogue as he tells him “You blew it, Kristoff.” “Oh, I’m alone,” is what would go before he finally says, “It’s fine.” The reason the dialogue is all mixed up is because Johnathan Groff is the one recording the lines and he does both Kristoff and Sven’s voices (well, technically, Kristoff).

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“Hey. What the—What is this? Hang onto me. What’s happening? Run. The mist is rising. We are being pushed by the…” – Kristoff

We can tell this happens when the Arendellian gang was crossing the mist wall for the first time. The scene was evidently going to be longer and more chaotic than what we actually got. Apparently they run and that would’ve been pretty cool.

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“The winds are restless. Like how I sometimes feel in the fall. But I’m not ready. I love these days, I’m grateful for them all.” – Elsa (Alternate Some Things Never Change)

Now this is what I call a quality deleted line. I recommend you guys watch the video to hear the little part that Idina sings to have an idea what Elsa’s part in Some Things Never Change was originally going to be like. Definitely a bit sadder than what we got. I think this line gives the idea that Elsa wasn’t feeling too comfy in Arendelle even though she enjoyed the company of her family immensely, or if we go with the idea that fall represents change, Elsa is feeling restless in the face of change. She’s not ready to ‘change’ and wants to keep enjoying her days in Arendelle. She can’t let them go. How ironic. Interpret it as you want!

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“I’d freeze this moment if I could find a way…” – Elsa (Alternate Some Things Never Change)

Same scene. Sadder atmosphere for her part of the song. It’s a shame we don’t know what goes next.

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“Water drowns with a stallion’s might.” – Elsa

Wowowowowow. Now this is interesting, because I have no idea where to place this line of dialogue meaning there might’ve been another scene foreshadowing the Nokk. In the final movie, the only moment we see the Nokk is during When I Am Older and it was very brief and played for laughs. But this line gives the idea that the existence of an angry murderous water horse was going to be mentioned earlier on. Now I have a lot of ideas as to what she might’ve referred to (maybe that’s just a comparison she made on the fly and didn’t know the water spirit was a horse? Maybe it’s like a riddle she solved to know what the water spirit was?) but to be honest I think there’s no way to know. Fun to theorize, though.

Also, total confirmation the Nokk is a male!

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“It’s magic. It’s amazing. There’s a voice. I need to follow it.” – Elsa

This line probably happened when they visited Pabbie and evacuated Arendelle. A different take on how she explained to Anna why she wanted to go on the journey. Honestly, I prefer what we actually got. She sounds quite desperate and hypnotized in this one. VOICE. I HEAR. MUST FOLLOW. I don’t know what you guys think. The actual explanation in the final movie is not great either but I prefer it.

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“Hey Elsa. It’s your mom. Remember, mothers are always right. Now, be who you are!” – Olaf (Longer Post Credits Scene)

We were robbed. This line and another one points to a longer post credits scene. I suspect they weren’t able to include it because of time constraints, because c’mon, this is hilarious. An animator on Instagram said that they were not able to model the inside of Elsa’s ice palace for the post credits scene because they ran out of time, so they used Ahtohallan pillars and changed the lighting so that it gave the ‘feel’ of the ice palace. I’m sorry I can’t provide a link right now because I don’t remember who the animator was, but if I find it again or someone else does I’ll update this.

UPDATE: The Instagram comment in particular was found! Thanks to @super-mam-te-moc for the screenshot.

Okay, kind of got derailed there. They didn’t have enough time to finish the post credits scene and that’s the only coherent answer I can find as to why this was deleted.

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“They’re all looking at us, aren’t they? Okay, got any advice? How do I free the forest?” – Elsa

Very similar to what’s in the movie but here Elsa asks Bruni if he knows how she can free the forest. The fact that Elsa asks a little cute salamander this… kind of gives the idea that Elsa was completely clueless, same as the rest of the gang, and the rest of the writers. Jkjk!

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“Emotional and slightly haunting memory of Mother? Is that you?” – Olaf (Longer Post Credits Scene)

Same as above. We were robbed. Twice.

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Unused Recorded Lines from Frozen 2 Book

“Teeth? Oh. Pillow fort! Disturbed! Aw, c’mon, you definitely look disturbed!” – Anna

Shorter or summarized charades scene. Anna never mentions a pillow fort in the final movie.

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“I know that rumble.” – Kristoff

This probably goes when Pabbie and the trolls appeared at the evacuation place. Seems like in an earlier version, there was more buildup before the appearance of the trolls. Kristoff hears the rumble of the rocks before anything else. Deleted scenes seen in trailers also point to a slightly different ‘troll appearance’ scene.

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“I won’t leave her side.” – Anna

During Pabbie’s visit. We know thanks to trailers Anna’s little talk with Pabbie changed a bit. Here Anna displays her worry for Elsa even more.

Here’s a comparison between the trailer:

And the final movie:

What’s particularly interesting about this is that a later point in the movie, during Kristoff’s third failed proposal, Anna suddenly remembers Elsa and runs off hurriedly saying, “I swore I wouldn’t leave her side”. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. She never explicitly says so in the final movie, but it seems like she did in an earlier version.

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“We’ll fix it together. / Together. / Together.” – Anna, Kristoff and Olaf respectively

Probably as they were going to go on the journey, considering the lines are said chronologically? They discovered the power of teamwork. Weird Elsa doesn’t say ‘together’. Maybe they left it out because, coughcoughtheydidn’tfixanythingtogether.

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“Uhm, I sense no way in, but this is fun nonetheless.” – Olaf

Definitely during the arrival at the mist wall. Olaf doesn’t say anything as he bounces off in the final movie.

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“Hah! It let us in, but it clearly does not wanna let us out.” – Olaf

Same as above. Anna is the one who says they’re trapped in the final version.

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“Your father was… / King Agnarr of Arendelle.” – Mattias, Elsa, respectively

In the final version Mattias immediately says “Agnarr”, while here Elsa finishes his words after his pause. To be honest, it makes more sense in the final version, considering Mattias would remember Agnarr’s name without a doubt.

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“I’m fine. I just… actually, I’m starving.” – Anna

This probably goes right after the “Don’t Run Into Fire” argument. I didn’t think much of this line at first but it’s actually really interesting, because in the final movie, right after Elsa and Anna’s argument, Elsa places Iduna’s scarf on Anna’s shoulders and with this perfect timing they find out she was Northuldra, leading to the whole “Vuelie” scene. But here, there’s no comforting with scarf, and it seems like this scene leads to the one after Vuelie in the final movie, with Anna eating as she talks to Mattias, and Elsa and Honeymaren talking about the spirits.

Which means… that in an earlier version, the discovery of Iduna being Northuldra was probably going to happen later on. Pretty crazy, right?

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“If I lost her… I think I’d lose myself.” – Anna

All right. I think that this line is one of the most important ones. Thanks to books having this line in them we can pinpoint exactly when Anna utters it: expectedly, when she was talking with Mattias. The delivery of this line is also particularly heartbreaking, so I recommend you guys hear the audio file.

I don’t wanna ramble too much but there’s a lot to be said about this line. But yes, I’ll actually end up rambling. Warning.

Along with “I won’t leave her side”, it seems like earlier versions of the movie showed Anna being even more anxious and worried about Elsa’s wellbeing. As we know, Anna and Mattias were talking about ‘doing the next right thing’, and being prepared when life throws you down a new path. This is obvious foreshadowing to The Next Right Thing. But why were these two cut? Don’t they deepen Anna’s character and show just how deathly scared this whole adventure had her?

Well, here’s some speculation. These two lines are obviously foreshadowing Elsa’s death. The thing is, there exists the likelihood that at the times these lines were written and recorded, there was no such thing as Elsa’s revival. We’ve known for a long time that Elsa was going to die for real in Frozen 2, but test audiences were left traumatized and probably in need of PTSD treatment, hating it so much that the ending and everything that came with it was rewritten around June. Including, I speculate, these two lines which blatantly foreshadow Elsa’s big oof.

There’s not much foreshadowing to Elsa’s death in the final version. That’s because it was a minor thing. She died before the climax of the movie and her death scene didn’t feel final nor dramatic enough to fool the audience and make them believe she was really, really, won’t-breathe-ever-again kind of dead. Some watchers didn’t even realize she died, because the scene was not supposed to feel like her end. Not even the score, Ghosts of Arendelle Past, has a final feeling to it. It just kind of ends there in an ominous tone and they stress the fact that she sent an important ice message before freezing, giving hope of events resolving themselves.

But these two lines do foreshadow of a terrifying event. One that’s not minor nor temporary. These two lines, probably among others we’ll never find out about, and Anna’s worried sick attitude in earlier versions, give more weight to Elsa’s death, Elsa’s permanent death, and ultimately, The Next Right Thing.

Or maybe not and I’m wrong and there was no need for a 4 paragraph long overanalysis of two lines. Maybe they just deleted them just cause. Who knows the ways of writers…

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“All this time… the four spirits. Right there.” – Elsa

Maybe this goes during Honeymaren’s talk about the spirits? Right there, meaning, they were all along depicted in Iduna’s scarf and nobody in Arendelle realized? We’ll never know.

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“You mean like a voice?” – Elsa

Probably happened when Honeymaren was talking about the fifth spirit crying out the day the forest fell.

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“She made it across the sea.” – Anna

“I know why the spirits evacuated Arendelle.” – Anna

“Olaf, I know how to free the forest.” – Anna

Okay, I’m gonna talk about these three at the same time because it’s the same scene. Obviously, these lines of dialogue take place in the cave as Anna receives Elsa’s message, right before The Next Right Thing. We know that for sure because The Next Right Thing was one of the first Frozen 2 songs to be written and the writers knew that’s where they wanted the story to go. This seems like a pretty different setup, but to be honest, it feels like a placeholder. Anna doesn’t even react to the fact that there was a statue of grandpa slicing an innocent man in two right in front of her which just feels weird.

And all in all, the lines just don’t have the sadness of the final version. Anna doesn’t sound nearly as disappointed and her voice doesn’t lower that much. She sort of sounds determined in the last line! So determined to wreck her home to pieces with a gigantic flood… ahaha Anna…

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Okay, it was pretty fun to overanalyze all 23 deleted lines that I managed to find. There are even more deleted goodies out there thanks to the merch, but we’re gonna leave that for another moment.

There’s no doubt that Frozen 2′s development had plenty of problems along the way and I think it’s pretty interesting to learn what it could’ve been and could’ve had. These lines are just the tip of the iceberg and I’m more than interested to know what exactly the test audiences saw in those infamous test screenings...

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UPDATE: More deleted stuff!

@theupsidedownpyramid collected more deleted lines found in the trailers right here!

@yumeka36 made a really interesting analysis of the Frozen 2 Novelization with even more deleted lines and scenes here!

#frozen 2 #frozen #elsa #anna #kristoff #olaf #sven #frozen 2 deleted scenes #frozen 2 deleted dialogue #frozen 2 outtakes

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hopeymchope · 3 years

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Godzilla Singular Point

I came into Singular Point with some trepidation because Godzilla’s history in anime is both very recent and extremely bad. The three anime movies released between 2017 and 2019 are easily the worst work of famed writer Gen Urobuchi and honestly contain more bullshit than I can even get into here. Those movies and this series were both Godzilla anime properties commissioned by Netflix, which didn’t get my hopes up very much. Thankfully, Singular Point is a very different beast from the anime trilogy. One could argue it’s very different from most Godzilla media, actually — at least from my perspective. And I’m still a pretty entry-level fan of Toho’s Big G, all things considered.

Let me just warn you right up front: This smartphone-based virtual assistant is basically the breakout star of the series.

When you think “Godzilla,” you probably don’t think “incredibly dense sci-fi concepts,” but with the big G’s first-ever anime series, the writers clearly set out to change that perception. Before the first kaiju even appears, the lead characters are plucked from obscurity and dropped into a mystery that involves fourth-dimensional time travel, physical objects that look different from all sides, theoretical math concepts, self-propagating A.I., and a whole lot more. And it’s NEVER made clear how all of it connects to the rampaging kaiju! Although we spend a lot of time investigating a red dust or sand that is very obviously tied to the monsters in SOME way, no one ever makes a connection that explains the relationship. Maybe we’re supposed to wait for a later season to connect the threads... but let’s get into the idea of “another season” later.

I like to think of myself as someone who typically enjoys hard sci-fi, but even with the characters spending loads of time trying to explain the high concepts driving the story, I was never able to fully wrap my head around what was going on in the mystery at the center of GSP. I rewound and rewatched a few explanations, but I still walked away feeling lost. I eventually settled on some vague, loose understandings of most of the ideas mentioned, but those understandings were subject to being ripped apart in subsequent scenes when I was shown or told something completely at odds with what I thought I knew. I can’t say I was ever bored with the thick, dense scientific concepts on offer — trying to find purchase with these far-out ideas kept me glued to the screen — but damn, I sure wish I was able to comprehend them.

What do we want?! DENSE SCIENTIFIC DISCUSSION AND DEBATE! When do we want it?! AFTER THOROUGH RESEARCH, TESTING, AND PEER REVIEW!

Another weird thing about this show is that the lead characters remain in separate locations and on separate tracks for the entire duration. We have Yun — a mechanical engineer and programmer who has an amazing grasp on physics and human behavior. And we have Mei — a grad student who is deeply invested in theoretical science, UMAs, cryptids and other far-flung concepts. Both of them are basically geniuses in their fields, and even though they take opposing views of just how flexible reality is, their shared ability to think “outside the box” becomes the crucial component in solving the mystery at the core of the series. Because they don’t even know one another (despite being separated by like, ONE degree), they only ever interact via text messages and behind screen names, which feels pretty damn weird. At least I immediately liked both of them, with Yun being the standout to me because of how his lowkey reactions to crazy shit generates a lot of humor.

This soundtrack cover LIES; you will never see these characters in a room together like this.

Alas, we don’t get to know the characters a whole lot beyond what we learned of them in the first two episodes. It’s not long before they’re trapped in a series of complicated exposition dumps, endlessly attempting to explain the high concepts of the show to other characters as well as my dumb ass in the audience. The fact that I liked them in the first couple of episodes carried me through more than half of the show, but I was always hoping to see them share more of themselves or just display more emotion. Anime as a medium excels at emotional storytelling. But despite the major, world-altering events the characters are constantly warning us about, none of them seem to have many emotions about said events.

Further complicating matters is how, when major events finally occur in this show, they are often kept off-screen. One character shockingly dies, but the portrayal of that death is so piss-poor that I didn’t even realize it’d happened until someone mentioned their death in the next episode. After that vague death, I was particularly sensitive to anything that looked like it might possibly be lethal. Yet a later event that is played up as a tragic, fatal occurrence ends up... fine, somehow? It’s not clear how the character survives, because — even after one of our heroes is left screaming their name in despair as they seemingly die — nobody ever talks about or explains how he’s just fine a couple of scenes later. And near the end of the series, there’s a major transformation that occurs for one of the characters, and we never see it happen nor do we understand HOW it happened. It’s just that suddenly, this character is extremely different due to off-screen reasons that are only vaguely verbalized.

I guess these two really bonded at some point for some reason? And what you are seeing here is literally the height of emotion shown in the entire show.

Even though the overarching story of the series so far pretty clearly wraps up in episode 13, we then get a post-credits tease for a potential second season. So the question becomes: Would I watch that?

Well... Godzilla Singular Point is a series with a lot of issues that kept me at arms’ length from it — tons of extremely confusing dialogue, highly frustrating choices in direction that lead to baffling storytelling, characters who are mostly exposition-dumping — and yet there’s still some foundational work here that I appreciated a lot. When the action occurs, it’s pretty cool/fun. And when urban destruction occurs, it can be awe-inspiring. The human characters, though little-explored, have likable and interesting foundations to them that could be expanded upon. And I didn’t even mention the soundtrack, which features a variety of musical styles combined with the classic Ifukube theme music and an OP that is an absolute banger. (I have a weakness when it comes to music; a good soundtrack can carry me through even the blandest series sometimes.) Even the core idea of centering a Godzilla series around hard science and mathematical concepts is a compelling one, I think! I just hated the execution of it; they went waaaaay too far on poorly explaining incredibly complex, mind-bending concepts for my pea brain to handle it. They spend so much time trying to explain things, yet somehow they never succeeded for me.

Ultimately, I’d probably give the show another chance. But if I do give another season a chance, it’ll be on probation. I wouldn’t watch the entire season unless I could see within four episodes that they’d definitely improved things.

Would I recommend that anyone watch the series as it currently stands? I mean... not really? I guess if you really dig complex math, hard theoretical science, and/or Toho’s stable of monsters, then maaaaaaaaaaybe give it a shot. But otherwise? Naaaahh. It’s not good enough at anything to make it stand out from the anime crowd. I didn’t hate it like I hated the Godzilla anime films, but Singular Point is still something that both casual viewers and most fans can comfortably ignore for the time being. It’s not a complete disaster, and it’s not without its highlights... but it’s definitely disappointing in my opinion.

OKAYOKAYOKAY, so let’s talk about the kaiju for a bit!

Below will be SPOILERS revealing all of the kaiju that appear in Godzilla Singular Point and giving my feelings on them.

Godzilla — It’s interesting to see a version of Godzilla that borrows some ideas from Shin Godzilla. Shin G has been incredibly unique until now, but this Godzilla manages to fold some of Shin’s distinctive aspects in with the more classic/typical versions to build a fun new depiction. Be forewarned that Godzilla doesn’t show up until the series is halfway over, and he doesn’t get a ton of screen time, either. He’s used quite sparingly and kept in hazy settings, often framed from the neck-up when they show him. It’s a little frustrating that they felt the need to shroud him so much, but I respect the fact that whenever Godzilla is shown, the destruction he causes is on a scale far beyond anything that the rest of the kaiju ever do. He is pure devastation.

Rodan — He’s easily the biological kaiju with the most screen time in Singular Point. Rodan is first introduced as one gigantic pterosaur, but if you’ve seen ANY trailers for this show then you already know that his depiction transitions into an asston of smaller pterosaurs, all of whom are also called “Rodan.” (Apparently the word Rodan is both singular and plural, like the word “buffalo.”) Although he looks kind of cool at first, pretty soon Rodan showing up isn’t special or threatening anymore. Rodan appearances go from “a big goddamn deal” to “some bland background noise” before the series is even 1/3 finished. The design might be a little too far removed from the original for my own taste, but even if I didn’t think that, I wouldn’t be able to care for this Rodan simply because he’s rendered so unimportant and unimpressive.

If you go out in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise...

Anguirus — Now check this guy out! Anguirus gets one of the coolest fights in the show and also demonstrates some powers that are well beyond anything we’ve seen him do before. Because he sticks to unpopulated areas, we never see him do much damage to Japan, but he is definitely holding all the attention when he’s on-screen. He’s a highlight for me — a total badass who is very unique in his abilities. And the stated origin for his name is goddamn adorable.

Manda — Yup, Manda is in this series... but I don’t have much to say for him. It seems like the creators of the anime didn’t have much to say about him either. His role amounts to little more than a repeated cameo, and in most of those cameos you only ever see his tail. When we finally see his full body, it’s done so briefly and kept at a distance, leaving me with no real impression. I had to look up his design online and... yup, that sure looks like Manda. Final score: MEEEEHH.

Kumonga — I definitely did not see this appearance coming! Kumonga is much smaller here than you may be used to, but she gets to star in the most suspenseful sequence in the series and easily earns the most exciting cliffhanger moment at the end of an episode. I was utterly glued to the show during her screen time, which comes with a lot of icky twists. Good ones! I honestly like Kumonga here more than I ever have previously.

NEW PHONE WHO DIS

Salunga — Uh, who? This is the one monster that isn’t based on a classic Toho kaiju but instead is a brand-new creation. I suppose that everybody who touches the Toho Kaiju franchise wants to make their own mark on it in some regard. But a big part of the fun of this series for me personally was the anticipation of seeing new interpretations and designs of classic Toho monsters. And so, given that he kind of resembles both Baragon and Gabara, I never stopped wishing they’d just used one of those guys as the basis and namesake. Taken on his own, however? He’s... pretty neat. Not unique or exciting, but solidly above par. He resembles a cross between a lizard/dinosaur and an ape, plus his head has some nifty coloration.

Our Jaguar!

Jet Jaguar — I guess Jet Jaguar isn’t exactly a kaiju in the traditional sense because he’s a Giant Robot. However, if you want to consider him one, then I wager he probably gets even more screen time than Rodan! We meet him almost immediately when the series begins. Initially an odd pilot-driven robot that was constructed at the whim of a quirky old factory-owner with too much disposable income, Jet Jaguar grows and changes over the course of the show, ultimately undergoing a transition in episode 7 that makes him pretty damn impossible to dislike. In fact, I utterly adored him by then. This is definitely the best Jet Jaguar I’ve ever seen. His design is recognizably similar to the original yet utterly distinct, too. Like many of the other kaiju here, he’s not nearly as big as he was when he was first introduced to the movies, but his size is ideal for battling the smaller-scale monsters that we spend most of the series on.

#godzilla #godzilla singular point #anime #anime reviews #kaiju

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simptasia · 3 years

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Cats 2019 😌

Oh, thank you, I’m gonna gush about this movie without even a DROP of that “i knoooow it’s bad” stuff, y’all know that I know. Okay maybe a few drops sneak in, in a back handed way, but MOSTLY this is me gushing and fawning

For context, since i’m putting this in the tag, the prompt was this was somebody gives me a topic and I respond with what i like about it. Like, the opposite of that “send me a thing and i’ll tell you what i hate about it” one

sometimes, like half the time, the CGI actually slaps. like, the close ups are amazing. proper look at some of these cats and it’s like, wow

mr. mistoffelees is precious. he’s my favourite and he’s adorable and his song makes me cry! specifically the bit where old deut is back and it cuts to his happy “oh my gosh i did it” face. triumphant! heck, i just like that whole song, as like the character thing that it is. and yeah anyways, misto is a cutie pie, he’s so shy and awkward and nervous, i wuv him uwuwu

misto is my fave but munkustrap is actually the best character in this movie. i cannot gush enough about robbie fairchild’s acting, singing and dancing in this. he is the backbone of this movie and i adore him! there’s a reason i’ve reblogged a bagillion gifsets of him being so expressionate, he’s so good! you can tell robbie loves being a part of this. and like, very often munku will absolutely be the best aspect of a scene

plus he’s beautiful too. munku, misto, victoria. beautiful kitties

now that i’ve adjusted to the art style, i find these kitties adorable. i love the ears and tails, they make me happy. i like how misto’s tail curls and the movement of everybody’s ears

i really like the music, shoulda mentioned that first. like, when its good, its really good. memory is of course a powerhouse. skimbleshanks is the movie’s highlight, so fucking good. i like mr. misto’s song, fight me. jellicle cats is a fucking bop. rumpleteazer & mungojerrie, I Just Like It. robbie’s performance in... well the whole movie... but also in old deuteronomy is beautiful and soothing. i’ve actually gotten every song in this stuck in my head.... SKIIIIIMBLEEEESHAAAANKS THE RAAAAILWAAAY CAT

legit, making that number include tap dancing was an actual stroke of genius and i cannot praise steven mcrae enough. whomst is also australian, im so proud. i also like skimble’s pants

OH ALSO regarding the music, another thing i love about this movie is that it introduced me to the concept of this musical. i never had any exposure to cats the musical before this movie happened. all i knew before was a couple of references i saw and i had heard memory. but i didn’t know that memory was from cats. and like, think of all the great songs i wouldn’t be aware of if this movie never happened. i’ve also, by extension, become enamoured with the 1998 version of cats too. because of this! i wouldn’t have had a reason to care before! i had no interest! so besides the fact that i actually do like this movie, there’s that

this is true of the stage musical thing, but a lot of cute and fun character moments are gleaned from like background stuff and facial expressions, that sorta thing and i find it really fun to notice stuff (or see somebody else point stuff out). like it’s all very simple but still with some depth, ya know?

the dancing in this is so good. so so good. especially munku because his actor is a magnificent dancer. it’s also funny and cute how misto clearly isn’t as good a dancer as everybody else, so they have him doing clumsy doofy stuff in the background. but im not insulting laurie davidson’s dancing, he’s actually good considering he had to learn for this movie. i just have to praise the dancing in this movie because i’ve seen people say that “the dancing isn’t impressive in this movie because it’s CGI” and i WILL EAT YOU WHOLE. no n no no people HAVE to know that the actors are actually doing that. robbie and francesca are professional ballet dancers, most of the people in this are. the movements are real, they just painstakingly overlayed CGI cat stuff over it. the stuff that isn’t real is like, stuff humans can’t do, like the big fuck off leaps, they used wires for that

Rumpleteazer’s Lesbian Energy Is Palpable

Munkustrap’s Chemistry With Everybody Is Stunning

victoria, misto and munku are OT3 and they’re bicons in my heart

oh i already mentioned the music but i just wanna say i think beautiful ghosts is a lovely song/motif/character thing. i haven’t mentioned victoria much, i think she’s rather sweet in a like endearingly dumb way. and her singing and dancing is, of course, lovely

the sets are practical, they built that! bruh

i have to give my respect to the poor overworked effects artists who worked on this movie. they were pushed so hard and for so long and i think they did a great job and they don’t deserve even a drop of the scorn they have received

i love misto’s jacket, it’s so good. and the pencil as a wand is clever!

the last scene is refered to as a living hell by a lot of people but i love it because just. watch munku’s face the whole time. so good. just watch munkustrap, he makes everything better

ooh on that note, i like how they made it so munk lives in a flat thats literally right by the junkyard. i find that a nice touch and fitting

i like the nuzzles <3 (furthermore i love how misto is so much taller than victoria so he has to bend down so far for a couple of those nuzzles)

i dunno, you can tell most of the people doing this were like really into it, like really loved doing this movie. like these performances are good, y’all! and like, these cats come across as so happy to hanging out and dancing and being together (for the most part, there is bickering and... cattiness too) that it’s like infectious. it makes me smile!

and there’s like a bagillion little things here and there that i like, like my list could go on even more. for example, shout out to that one cat that kept smiling when skimble was spinning upwards into the air (due to being kidnapped) probably under the assumption that skimble can just fucking do that djksakjdsa

so yeah i can’t exactly call this a Good Movie but i can genuinely call it a movie i enjoy, that i adore even, because i’ve never liked anything ironically in my life! also im autistic and this has become my special interest, so choo choo, this trains a chugging. i’m having a lot of fun, and i think that’s good enough

and i feel like it’s already on it’s way to becoming the world’s most expensive cult classic. like, friends getting together and watching it and having a good time, for one reason or another. and i like that. i hope in like 5 to 10 years time, people are gonna be endeared and nostalgic for cats 2019, cuz that’d be neat

#cats 2019 #I like The Parts Where I'm Not In Pain #this praise is in no way an endorsement of tom hooper #who is a genuinely incompetent idiot who should be kept away from musicals #this is all despite the movie's shortcomings #but hey some of the Bad Choices can be a laugh too #i really do think there's more good aspects than bad aspects in this #once you get used to it #like my first viewing felt like a fever dream #it really does take getting used to #but adjusting to this... universe. it's better now #and i think the second half is better than the first half #espech the last ooh half an hour or so? great stuff actually #sunnibits

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radramblog · 3 years

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Album Discussion- Floral Shoppe

Haha why do y’all let me do this.

It’s been almost a decade since Macintosh Plus (aka Vektroid, aka Ramona Xavier) popularised and codified vapourwave as a genre with its first actually popular release in Floral Shoppe. Since then this sub-sub-genre has developed its own subgenres and become its own flourishing marvel of internet music culture. But Floral Shoppe itself is worth examining- not to see where it all began (I haven’t even listened to Chuck Person’s Eccojams or Far Side Virtual yet), but where most people got into the genre. The lifting off point, as it were.

So grab your Arizona ice tea (don’t, it’s fucking awful) and lets dive in.

The first track, ブート(Boot), opens with a buttery smooth cymbal and saxophone line, obviously slowed down, but evoking a level of chill few songs manage to get to for their whole duration, in a total of approximately a minute. It’s a genuinely masterful piece of music. As the vocals come in, you hear them get twisted and chopped, distorted and looped, almost jolting you out of that trance, until it’s clear that the lyrics aren’t lyrics but another instrument, you get used to the nonsense, and you’re back in the zone. The looping with some of the instrumentation makes parts of it feel almost clockwork-like, in a very satisfying manner- especially as the majority of it gets muffled and you realise that opening bass/sax line has been running through the entire time. While the next track on this album tends to get most of the attention, I genuinely think Boot deserves just as much praise.

リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー (Lisa Frank 420/Modern Computing) is another one of those tracks where it’s just like, what could I possibly say about this that hasn’t been said. If you’re reading this, there’s basically no way you haven’t heard this song, so you know what I’m on about. It’s the quintessential vapourwave track, even if it’s showing its age a bit. It’s just so perfect. When I decided to write about Floral Shoppe, I didn’t really want to spend too much time here- me saying “hey I like this song everyone knows” isn’t the most interesting thing on the planet, I guess. I will say, it’s one of the few vapourwave songs you can actually sing along to, and that’s fun as heck.

Also, the lyric is “it’s all in your hands”, not “it’s all in your head”. To be fair, though, the distortion doesn’t help.

The album’s next track is 花の専門店 (Floral Shoppe, hey I didn’t know this album had a title song), a track that heavily relies on this really panned synth (you can’t even hear that on the left ear) and a lot of looping the same bit over and over again. Honestly, the first minute of this song gets a little grating, but it really picks up after that. It’s really fun and jazzy for a solid minute there, a lovely instrumental you can just groove to in your head. The fade out on this piece lasts wayyy too long for my liking, though- a full half minute of outro feels a little indulgent for this one.

Track four, ライブラリ (Library) is lowkey one of my favourites on the album- The slowed vocals work really well, and the instrumentation feels extremely deliberate and methodical. I think my biggest complaint with this song is just that it’s too short, considering Lisa Frank 420 is literally triple it’s length. But I suppose part of this project is how variable the track lengths are- it seems Vektroid was keen to work with these until she was out of ideas, and no longer, and I can’t help but respect that.

地理 (Geography) sounds substantially darker than the previous tracks, with incredibly low drones and a main line that… I mean I dunno how low it is but that shit is definitely in a minor key, you know. It’s also the sparsest track so far, with much more restraint in layering than anything else I can think of on the album. The atmosphere of this is heavy- I don’t know why, but it reminds me of that really creepy loading screen on the fuckin Magic School Bus goes inside the body Edutainment game. That’s probably a bit of a weird connection, but if you played that shit, you know how fucking eerie it’s soundtrack was, and that’s a bit of the vibe I’m getting from this track.

Our next track is a direct nod to Floral Shoppe’s predecessors in ECCOと悪寒ダイビング (Chill diving with ECCO), a reference to the aforementioned Chuck Person’s Eccojams Vol. 1 (itself a reference to the Sega Genesis/Mega Drive game Ecco the Dolphin), and Chill is absolutely right. While many vapour/synthwave pieces are more about entering an aesthetic or a vibe than actually listening to the music, as far as Floral Shoppe goes, that’s most true with this track. It’s also the third longest track here (behind Lisa Frank 420 and the next song), and while it doesn’t develop as much as one would hope based on that (or much at all), spending so long vibing out in a track like this is completely appropriate.

I’m going to be honest, I don’t care too much for the next track, 数学 (Mathematics). It might just be because it comes on the heels of ECCO, but the meandering in this doesn’t hit the same chord as that does. While I enjoy the saxophone on this song, all the shit going on in the background just kinda gets my anxiety going eventually. And by eventually, I mean about halfway through this near 7-minute monster. You’ve got these very chill elements that slowly get drowned out by the steadily rising and accelerating chaotic parts of the instrumentation that just take over eventually, and while it does chill back down again, that’s still a long time focussed on the worst parts of the song. This also really didn’t need to be as long as it is, considering the second half of the track is just, like, the same thing again…

We’re at track 8, and at this point I started looking at the Wikipedia page for the name translation and realising that I have no idea which song this is supposed to be. Like, the track lengths on the bandcamp suggest that this is the 2011 release and therefore this is 待機 (Standby), but it has the name of track 8 from the 2017 release, 外ギン Aviation (Foreign Banks Aviation)? This is confusing as fuck, but since this is the only track here with that issue, I’m assuming it’s actually Standby and someone fucked up somewhere. Oh right, the song itself. Well it’s fucking short, barely past a minute long, and doesn’t have too much going on. I’d call it short but sweet, it doesn’t overstay its welcome. Jazzy, loungy, kinda chill. I dunno.

て(Te) feels almost out of place on this album. I mean, the vibe is similar, but the birdsongs really come out of left field. This sounds like the track you’d hear in a video game after you’re finally out of a cave you spent hours in. If the build in this weren’t so intense, I think it’d fit right in on the Minecraft OST. That’s a compliment, for what it’s worth. It’s also worth noting this light at the end of the tunnel bit was absolutely intentional, because this used to be the final track of the album. However, there’s two more here, added in a 2012 reissue (originally they were unnamed bonus tracks), so we might as well check them out.

…under no circumstances should you check out track 10, 月 (Moon). I don’t know what vocal sample that is, but it is loud, and grating, and obnoxious, and the instrumentation is not doing enough to carry the repetition through. Holy shit, this is 6 minutes long. I’m going to be honest, I skimmed through this one, and it never changes what it’s doing. This is… a bold play, I’ll give her that, but it absolutely does not pay off. This has gotta be one of the worst songs I’ve heard in a very long time. What the fuck, Ramona?

Finally, 海底 (Seabed). This… is just like Moon, in that it’s a fucked up vocal sample that is looped over and over with little changing instrumental. The key difference is this one is less bad- the vocals aren’t as jilting, the instrumentation is chiller, and it is mercifully only 2 and a bit minutes. It’s far from good, but it’s not as immediately awful. Okay, it is pretty bad. These should probably have stayed as extras- and seeing as they apparently weren’t on the physical versions of the album (in fact a bunch of these songs changed for that), Vektroid appears to agree.

So that’s Floral Shoppe, and it’s really one of those albums that kinda drags on at the end. Frontloaded with the good shit, I suppose. Moon and Seabed aside, it’s not like anything is completely awful, but after 25 or so minutes you’ve kinda gotten the point. With that said, the album is as influential as it is for good reason- the first couple tracks are phenomenal, and once you’re drawn in by those, you’re probably going to appreciate the rest of it at least a little.

Modern vapourwave basically sounds nothing like Lisa Frank 420/Modern Computing, or Floral Shoppe at all- the genre has moved past plunderphonics almost entirely at this point, and the aesthetic has shifted to a more consistent, less memeable tone. Even Macintosh Plus is going new directions- the single released in December 2019 as a teaser for Vektroid’s next project under the name sounds nothing like this album, though it is completely fucking awesome (and completely fucking batshit). While it seems like the genre itself has moved past Floral Shoppe, though, it’s still the touchstone the majority of people, especially those unfamiliar with the genre, recognize as the herald of Vapourwave. I’m pretty sure this was the first album to do the whole pink aesthetic, marble bust, computer graphics style, and clearly that’s the style everyone thinks of when they make bad vapourwave art. That’s the aesthetic this album inspired. Long may it reign.

(Ok seriously though guys go listen to VAPERROR or George Clanton or something)

#ramble #music #vaporwave #vapourwave #america stop being afraid of the letter u

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hexalt · 4 years

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Schitt’s Creek and the Transformative Power of Love

I first watched the pilot for Schitt’s Creek in the early part of 2019 and found it...eccentric. Not really funny, the characters weren’t speaking to me (except for Stevie (Emily Hampshire), whom I felt a kinship with), and the story seemed odd. I decided this show just wasn’t for me, and I had given it my best shot. Many months later, one of my best friends was posting about it frequently. Since we have the same taste, I thought maybe it was just the pilot. Maybe I should give it another shot. Maybe this time I’ll actually like it. So I started it from the pilot again, and I kept watching even if I wasn’t thoroughly entertained. I soon grew to love the two black sheep and having characters you understand always makes things easier.

What I didn’t realize when I started the show was that the characters were each more than they seem, they weren’t meant to be shallow jokes of themselves and their personas. The way they acted was often a façade hiding their insecurities of not being good enough in a variety of ways. The only other show that I’ve seen with a somewhat similar premise is Arrested Development, but there the characters are supposed to be absolutely ignorant, privileged assholes with no redeeming qualities.

I didn’t realize each season is better than the last, an astounding and rare feat in television. The quality of each season improves as the show quickly finds its footing by discarding early storylines that didn’t really work and letting the characters slowly becoming more grounded and open. This family that was once so distant that the parents didn’t even know their daughter’s middle name eventually develop genuine relationships for the first time with each other and other people.

Schitt’s Creek, co-created by father and son, Eugene (American Pie, Best in Show) and Dan Levy, wanted us to ultimately empathize with these characters, even if the remnants of their wealth can make them profoundly delusional and hilarious a lot of the time. Before writing the show, they created timelines going back to their characters’ elementary school years, detailing everything from where they worked to what they wore.

The fashion on the show is distinct and the best dressed I’ve seen in any show (and most films). Dan is huge into fashion and personally selects a lot of pieces worn in the show (some of David’s clothes are even from his own wardrobe). Instead of constantly telling the audience that this family used to be rich, we are reminded of it through Moira’s wall of wigs and couture black and white ensembles, David’s patterned black sweaters and low crotch pants, Alexis’s bohemian dresses and headbands, and Johnny’s array of business suits. When they enter any room in town, they are clearly fish out of water.

Schitt’s Creek centers on the Roses, a once-disgustingly wealthy family who lose their fortune and are forced to move to the only asset they have left: a small town named Schitt’s Creek that Johnny Rose (Eugene Levy) bought as a joke for his son, David (Dan Levy). So dilapidated is Schitt's Creek and so destitute are the Roses, they don't even have a house of their own; instead they are forced to live in a motel with two connecting rooms, forgoing all the luxury they had become accustomed to and, more terrifyingly, are now physically closer than ever.

While at first the family is horrified at the prospect of living in such a small town with townies, they eventually embrace the weirdness of the town, and it makes them grow in unexpected ways. Johnny was once the owner of the second-largest video rental store in the country and retains his businessman-like self through and through, but he also began the show more uppity. While he is often the most reasonable of the Roses, he often sees himself as above others in town and gets into awkward situations because of it. Over the course of the show he ends up developing a friendship with the town mayor to whom he initially had yelled “get the fuck out!” While he’s always devoted to his wife, he wasn’t so keen on his children, but being forced to live together makes him take a larger interest in their lives and become a better father.

Alexis (Annie Murphy) is the quintessential “dumb blonde” socialite who’s had a Schitt-ton of relationships with powerful men, making stories of her past highly entertaining, often illegal, and frequently frightening. She clearly grew up way too fast, never having had proper adult supervision. She’s reliant on men, and all she can think about in season one is trying to date cute guys. In the following seasons, she realizes it’s time to start growing up and gets her high school and Associate’s Degree to start her own PR business. She becomes a more enlightened version of herself, still deeply kind but also willing to put the happiness of others above her own. The Alexis who previously couldn’t see beyond her own nose becomes independent and more selfless.

David’s had hundreds of flings with people of all genders, but they seem to be replete with abuse, manipulation, and a lack of care for his being. This is unsurprising when we see how he hides his insecurity behind sarcasm and sometimes downplays things he doesn’t like to fit in. He fears showing kindness to anyone because others haven’t always been so kind to him. Early on, he has a panic attack and comes to the realization that he’s “really lonely here,” but he’s been lonely for a lot longer than that. What he doesn’t expect is to make his first best friend or find his soon-to-be husband in this backwater town. In the process, he learns to shed some of his armor.

Moira (Catherine O’Hara) was once on a soap opera, Sunrise Bay, and retains the melodrama in her day-to-day life and demeanor. She is constantly trying to become what she believes is a star: someone who acts in film, someone who everyone mourns when they die, someone who people will just pay one sliver of attention to. She’s desperately trying to cling to the spotlight, but in “Life is a Cabaret,” she finds what I believe will be her place come this final season. Rather than trying to constantly soak up attention, she gives Stevie the starring role in the town’s production of Cabaret (which Moira comes to direct) because getting that role was a “gift that once jolted [her] out of [her] little podunk routine.” From the wings of the stage, as Stevie slowly builds into “Maybe This Time” with such breathtaking passion and joy after starting off unsure and quiet, Moira is shocked at what she was able to bring out of Stevie. She’s finally realizing that her place isn’t center stage but in bringing out the best in others and helping them find their place in the world.

Stevie Budd begins as the desk clerk of the Schitt’s Creek motel until her great-aunt passes away, and she inherits the motel. From there she has to decide whether she’s ready to grow up and take over the family business, and she’s terrified. Johnny soon teams up with her in the business, renovating the motel and renaming it after both of them, so she sees the Roses aren’t going to abandon her. She is part of the Rose’s found family. Her and David are similar in their bluntness and sarcasm, but Stevie is insecure about never making it out of the town, never being more than a motel desk clerk, never having a long-term romantic relationship. She worries while everyone moves on with their lives, she’s “watching it all happen from behind the desk.”

Dan describes creating Schitt’s Creek as “writing a world that examines the transformational effects of love when the threat of hate and intolerance has been removed from the equation.” While homophobia is often front and center in any media depicting LGBT characters, Schitt’s Creek doesn’t give it as much thought. Where small towns are usually seen as ripe for homophobia, transphobia, and other discrimination, Schitt’s Creek doesn’t fall prey to this trope. Instead, this small town is bursting with love.

Dan purposely made David pansexual (it’s also the only show I’ve seen use the word) to challenge the viewer’s biases and push the boundaries of what it means to be masculine and feminine. David’s parents and others in the town never discuss it as anything strange or bad, it’s something he simply is and as common as the sky being blue. When David tells Stevie about his sexuality (“I like the wine, not the label”), she’s a bit surprised at first because she thought he was gay, but ultimately she doesn’t care.

This doesn’t mean the show never discusses what homophobia can be like, but it comes at it from a different lens.

For example, in “Meet the Parents,” David decides to throw a surprise birthday party for his boyfriend, Patrick Brewer (Noah Reid). What David doesn’t realize is Patrick hasn’t come out to his parents yet, they think David is solely his business partner. He tells David, “I know my parents are good people, I just...can’t shake this fear that there is a small chance that this could change everything.” David himself is prepared for homophobia from Patrick’s parents, but when they tell him they don’t care about that, just that he was hiding such an important part of himself from them, David who’s been trying to stay strong through it all wipes a tear.

“When I found myself in a position to tell stories on a global scale, I seized the opportunity to make a television show that might, in its own way, offer some support, encouragement and love to those who might not have it in their homes or in their schools or in their day to day lives. It’s a place where acceptance incubates joy and creates a clarity that allows people to see themselves and each other more deeply. It’s fiction, yes. But I’ve always been told to lead by example and this felt like a good place to start.”

— Dan Levy

I would be remiss to not touch on the comedic style of the show. This is a comedy that relies heavily on the physicality of its actors. Their facial expressions, accents and tonality, their limp wrists, each create uniquely funny characters with mannerisms unlike any I’ve seen. The cast brought nuance to the characters, when they could have easily fallen into vapid stereotypes.

As season 6 premiered on January 7, Schitt’s Creek is not done yet, and I can’t wait to see how its final season concludes. The characters are all happier now that they are achieving dreams they may not have known they had, they have fulfilling relationships with family and friends, and they all have grown into better people. Schitt’s Creek truly was their saving grace.

I’m in a TV group where we wrote essays on our favorite shows of the 2010s, so here is mine on Schitt’s Creek.

#schitt's creek #television #tv #lgbt #lgbtq #writing #mine #long post #*

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checkerflats · 3 years

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Haven't been on tumblr in a long time. Felt like this was a decent place to write since nobody I know really uses tumblr anymore. I wanted to talk about my journey over the last few years and tumblr feels private enough a place to do so.

I moved to Florida 3 years ago (well as of this upcoming March) and at first life was decent. I tried to acclimate myself, stay healthy, positive, supportive, etc. At some point during that first year, I became incredibly depressed, nervous, anxious, overwhelmed trying to support myself (I did have a good friend group to help me) but down the line I had convinced myself I had a plan and that it was 'my plan, I thought of it' so instead of talking to the people I cared about and loved, I continued to try to do things in my own way.

A belief is a thought you have that you like. My belief was that I was the only one who could tell me what to do. And I never told myself to shut up and listen to people; realize they're saying what they're saying because they care. I became toxically selfish. I started judging my friends and peers opinions, being an asshole, being inconsiderate to everyone around me, unwilling to talk about my issues (and if I did I sounded like a narcissistic twat), etc.

To make a long story short, I resulted to drinking to cope with my overwhelmed thoughts and feelings. This isnt an excuse. It's just what happened. It in no way makes my behavior acceptable. In fact, anyone who knows me and how I act when drinking changes my thinking patterns would attest that it's only ever made anything worse. Even days or weeks without doing so, it affects me on such a negative level that negativity is the only lense through which I view the world and its inhabitants. I become the definition of nihilistic.

This led me to losing my friends, my loved ones, my job, housing, and ultimately respect from others and respect for myself. It was devastating and I did it to myself. After July of 2019 I started to refrain from drinking and honestly believed I had become the best version of myself. I got a new apartment, job, new friends who have still supported me to this day, albeit, upon making these leisurely friends who wanted to be wild, I felt I should--I wanted to participate. It was fun for a minute, and I was sober for about a month or two..

I'd begun to drink with them every now and then, never alone or at home, never two days in a row. I thought I could be a casual drinker. However, these friends and I stopped drinking for the most part, and begun to do a lot of acid (one thing I wouldn't say is neccesarily bad or addictive, in moderation) and a LOT of xanax. I started to learn a whole new meaning of 'fucked up' and went downhill faster than Jack and Jill could even imagine, baby!

By December, a friend and I decided we'd start doing cocaine. Fuck it, right? That got bad quick. It only lasted about 2 months on and off until we realized how crazy it was and that we needed to actually save our money (and sanity) so we stopped. By this point (March/April of 2020) I'd stopped doing everything other than weed. That inevitably led me straight back to drinking. This time it was everyday again, alone, at home, you get the point. When coronavirus hit I lost my job, couldn't find another anywhere therefore couldnt afford rent, was constantly in scary situations for 2 months (drunk), and decided it was best to GTFO and high tail it back to Ohio by May of 2020.

This took me months to realize, but I had so subtly slipped back into mass depression. Being back in Ohio, around triggers and friends who'd grown apart from me, I felt helpless and alone. I began drinking all the time. When I'd wake up, all throughout my shifts at work, at 2 am once the beers I'd had after work were buzzing off.. I was having the worst thoughts and feelings possible that I won't elaborate on because, again, I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses or even manipulating the perception of whoever might read this. I did this to myself. My behavior was absolutley unacceptable. I'd been put on probation for drinking, I'd been arrested for it even once in my own bed sound asleep (lets not go into how corrupt the law enforcement is in Mansfield, OH). The point is I'd broken the law and, regardless of the circumstances, the law is the law and it comes with consequences.

By October of 2020 I'd agreed that the best case of action was to go to a treatment center for addiction. The center was more or less a joke at first until a counselor committed to actually helping us started working there in mid-November. All in all being sober long enough to get back to a focused, rational, kind state of mind has put me in a euphoric state of content more so than any materialistic or temporary feeling that a substance or whatever else could bring me. Real peace is better than fake, self-driven delusion. I got released from the center today (1/13/21).

What I'm trying to get across is that if it wasnt for those who care for me after all the shit I've put them through, if I hadn't accepted I had a problem and my plan wasnt working, I'd still be that other guy. If you give up your ideals and listen to a 'Higher Power', (a 'God', a group of people as in power in numbers, a spiritual intuition that things happen for a reason and you agree you alone can't solve issues the same way you've tried 1000 times over and failed) whatever your view on that is, if you are willing to change and accept support you will be able to find genuine serenity.

That other guy is still in there. I have to continue working my program daily and catch myself if I slip up, be prepared to tell others, make amends (unless that would make things worse) and by all means listen to their advice in order to turn 4 months of sobriety (even from weed, but this is mostly about drinking) into 4 years, and so on. If you read all this (well first off, thank you, like.. golly!) and you are someone who knows me, then I'm sure that's hard to believe because everyone who knows me has heard me say before that 'I am quitting alcohol!' when in all honestly all those same people probably knew damn well I was just trying to convince them rather than myself and even if I did want to stop, I still had a desire to do it. That's where I can finally cut ties and announce that I, personally to myself, no longer have the desire for alcohol. Today. Right now. One day at a time. I despise it. It took my ambitions and spat them in my face along with my kindness, positivity, all my goals and loved ones like they all meant nothing and I am sick and tired of enabling that feeling. The world we live in is full addiction. Eating, technology, fame, money, power, caffeine, nicotone, sugar, sex, drugs, rock and roll--you get it okay? None of those will bring anything of substantial value or genuine joy. Being selfish will bring nothing but suffering. Be kind and loving. Love is salvation.

Once more, if you read all this, you're a saint and I thank you and hope your life, if not already, becomes (and continues to be) positive, peaceful and great. Love yourself, the best and worst. Face fear head on and never give up. Always lend a hand to those who clearly need it and if they turn it away like I did so many times, all you can do is hope and pray they'll get to the point of acceptance someday. I am so grateful for the oppurtunity I had to turn my life around. I am thankful for every single person who's come and gone and the help they offered before and after I actually admitted it was neccessary. I'll try and be of service to others when and where I can. Stay safe, world.

-cone

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nevergenders · 4 years

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some thoughts on mcr’s reunion

disclaimer that this is all just speculation, just my own thoughts.

we all know my chemical romance started after the events of september 11th, 2001. the band was formed out of a couple things:

the much-needed fight against the political climate at the time

the desperation for the members to make something of their lives, especially seeing as gerard was suicidal

creating art as an escape from the real world

catharsis

mcr provided this for many fans around the world, as well as for themselves. as gerard way once said, “it saved my life, and it’s there to save other people’s lives.” this is a well-known fact, as i’m sure many of us have experienced this.

mcr was also a vessel for growth, which we all witnessed. mcr was about working through trauma and mental health with many other people, all joined together by one band. mcr was about being true to yourself and finding a place of community. i liked how gerard put it: “Fiction. Friction. Creation. Destruction. Opposition. Aggression. Ambition. Heart. Hate. Courage. Spite. Beauty. Desperation. LOVE. Fear. Glamour. Weakness. Hope. Fatalism.”

when the band broke up, in gerard’s vigil on birds and glass, gerard writes about the metaphor of the bird that flew into their house, trying to escape through a window and continually hitting the glass. i think the metaphor is clear when you consider when gerard talked about writing the ever elusive mcr5, “the paper kingdom,” during which he realized he was very depressed, and the most suicidal he had felt since the band’s inception.

this mindset was captured in “fake your death.” the lyrics are extremely self-critical, and seem to convey, more clearly than mcr lyrics usually tend to be, that he felt like the whole course of the band was for absolutely nothing; people still hurt, and so did they; their career was meaningless; they never really helped anything. it’s incredibly depressing to listen to, and upsetting to think that he ever felt that way.

another thing from his essay was that he referred to the band as being a perfect machine with a fail-safe box that would detonate if certain events occurred. looking after the fact at the things that happened toward the end of the band, from an outsider’s perspective, seem to indicate that some of those “events” are things that affected mcr’s purpose that would have made it become counterproductive -- the fight against the system, the growth from trauma, the creative growth together. gerard also specifically stated that part of the reason the band ended was because of the political climate in the us, especially considering

that’s where the bird metaphor comes in. they were the bird hitting the window -- trying to take flight, seeing where they could go, but held back by something invisible. with the band ended, they could grow on their own -- create their own families, chase their own creative endeavors, take some time to do what they needed to do for themselves, away from each other. it was totally necessary.

july 20, 2016. a cryptic video is released to tease the ten-year anniversary version of the black parade. the internet explodes, and the band’s account posts “we’ve been really touched and blown away by the response to the teaser trailer.”

november 1, 2019, the day after the return is announced: “from the bottom of our hearts, thank you for the warm welcome back. we truly did not expect this.”

i really don’t think they realized that their band continued to help heal hearts even while they were gone. to quote gerard himself, “it is not a band. it is an idea.” even if the band wasn’t together to tour, create new art and messages, and spread their love, it just kept happening. i think throughout 2018 and 2019 i’ve really started to realize exactly how much of an effect my chem made on the world, and how much they influenced the scene today and all of the newer bands we love and care about. it was widespread, and couldn’t be stopped by the band’s end in 2013.

this is a stark contrast to the attitude conveyed in fake your death. i really think we proved them wrong. i also really enjoy how that turned out, because chapter two of mcr, as frank deemed it in his last instagram post, has been kicked off by blowing away that negative mindset.

not only that, but the reformation of the band seems is under completely different circumstances than how they originally formed. whereas the original formation was out of desperation, we are starting to see now that the decision to return was made much more comfortably; they tested the waters together all the way back in 2017; they have grown and healed a lot, and are generally so much happier with their lives, and as @kiraisstillhere said, the perfect example of an “it gets better” story.

i will admit, the reunion show had much less bells and whistles than i expected. mcr have always been known to be over the top and bursting with art, so i thought we might see that from them upon the first show, especially with all the witchy hints they’ve been dropping about their future concepts. but to my surprise, it was very simple. they were wearing their normal clothing, they played many fan favorites as well as personal favorites, and the show felt like it was just as much for the fans as it was for them. it was totally thrilling to see them performing together for the first time since 2012, all grown up. i think adding the bells and whistles would have been a bit too overwhelming.

in the same interview as gerard speaking about the political climate during the breakup, he also stated that if mcr ever reunited, it wouldn’t be a machine anymore, it would just be them releasing music. (he was also being a goddamn liar and said that the band had gotten together recently, and didn’t talk about releasing music or touring and he didn’t know if they would do anything in the future. mind you, this was february 2019.) that attitude is reflected in the reunion show, but not in the hints and symbols they’ve been dropping.

i think there will always be an element of art to my chemical romance, since it is part of what makes them unique. however, it’s hard to imagine mcr without the fighting energy we’ve always seen from them, but when you think about where they are in their lives now, it makes sense. they are a recovery story, and now we get to celebrate and watch them live out their best lives together as the band we all know and love.

in conclusion, my chemical romance is back and i’m ready to see them thrive. it won’t be the same as before, that’s for sure. i think they have a lot of great things and a lot of cool art to share with us. i don’t think they feel the need to fight anymore, like gerard said in a danger days interview but i can’t remember which one it was anymore. either way, we all just get to celebrate and watch this band thrive, and i’m here for it!

feel free to add on, contribute, or respond!

#my chemical romance reunion #my chemcial romance #mcr #mcr reunion #finally it’s here!#this is the exact same thing i was trying to say when i wrote that super long essay #i justwent way too into detail and focused in on every little thing haha #long post #reunion info

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letterboxd · 3 years

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Sick Beats.

Blade-reboot director Bassam Tariq talks to Alicia Haddick about partnering with Riz Ahmed on Mogul Mowgli, how to open a film, the clash of colonialism and art, and the escapist joys of comic-book movies.

“We’ll make films, we’ll die, who gives a shit? Right? But how we lived and all that stuff, I feel like that matters.” —Bassam Tariq

Standing alone on a dimly lit stage in a New York music venue, Zed appears to have it all. He’s on the brink of a musical breakthrough in his rap career, with a growing legion of fans and fellow artists inspired by his work. Yet at this moment, on this stage, with the audience barely visible in the shadows, there is so much more going on.

Riz Ahmed has had a couple of blistering opening performances in films this past year, but where Sound of Metal’s first moments track his character’s hearing loss, the opening scene of Mogul Mowgli—written by Ahmed and director Bassam Tariq—feels like a physical manifestation of the emotions that come with tackling what it means to be a London-bred, Pakistani-Muslim rapper.

Zed is unsure where he belongs in a complex web of cultural and social ideas defined by a family that raised him, a religion he treats with skepticism, and a country that colonized his parents and their ancestors. Transforming these questions into art won’t make them disappear, but music at least gives Zed a measure of indirect control over his problems. That is, until the diagnosis of a degenerative autoimmune disease puts the brakes on his career.

As Zed’s father struggles to reconcile his own past with caring for his son, Zed’s illness manifests itself in apparitions of a mysterious figure, whose face is veiled by a sehra (the decorative groom’s headdress worn at Pakistani weddings). The man refers to himself as Toba Tek Singh, which is both a reference to a city in Pakistan named after a Sikh religious figure, and the name of a satirical story about Partition.

Mogul Mowgli is Tariq’s debut narrative feature. It had its premiere at Berlin in 2020, winning the FIPRESCI International Critics Prize and gaining notice for its director, who has been confirmed to helm MCU’s Blade reboot, with Mahershala Ali in the leading role. Tariq previously co-directed the highly rated 2013 documentary These Birds Walk, and the 2019 documentary short, Ghosts of Sugar Land, each centered on Muslim life and experiences, one on the streets of Karachi, the other in Texas. Mogul Mowgli is a more introspective—and more surreal—exploration of these ideas, couched in the dingy halls of a UK hospital, and in the lyrics of a rapper searching for himself.

Tariq chatted with us over Zoom about his friendship with Ahmed, the production challenges of keeping a set alive, and his film inspirations, from Abbas Kiarostami to the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Riz Ahmed and Bassam Tariq on the set of ‘Mogul Mowgli’.

I know that you and Riz worked together on the film for a number of years while you were coming up with the story, and there was also a lot of mutual respect for each other’s work. How did the two of you first meet? Bassam Tariq: We met through my co-director of These Birds Walk, Omar Mullick, who introduced Riz and I to each other. At that time, I was running a butchery in the East Village in Manhattan. That’s where Riz and I met and we just became fast friends. Things kind of took a few years for us to figure out what the project would be that we would do together, it took me about three years, four years. But you know, he was shooting The Night Of, and then slowly his career was skyrocketing and it was like, “oh, great, we’ll probably never see him again”.

Yet he would always stay in touch because I think he had a desire to tell something that was very specific to him. All I knew was how to tell things that are specific to me, I didn’t know anything else. So I think that’s why it kind of worked really well for both of us, because he became quite great at playing other characters, but to do something that was very close to him, I think that was quite new.

And it gave you both the opportunity to tell your own stories through that. That’s the exciting thing. It’s so exciting when you’re able to pull from some unique things that only you can tell, and particularly working with actors that also share that part and then bringing it alive through them. It’s just gold, it’s such a gift. Why would you try to hide that from them or mask that from them?

Speaking of These Birds Walk, I couldn’t help but notice the similarities between how you observed and captured the work going on in Karachi and the intimate filming style used in this movie. What were the challenges in jumping from documentaries to this film, and were there any lessons you learned from that field of work that then factored into the production of Mogul Mowgli? I would say that the big learning curve for me was timing, like, you’re burning money as you have a day of production. Every day that you’re in prep and every day that you’re in production, you’re burning money. So the financing is very different because there are stakeholders involved. We were blessed with amazing partners with BBC and Cinereach that weren’t the crazy ones that you would expect when you think of stakeholders, they were amazing partners. It was more of a family vibe than anything. But you’re still burning someone else’s money, right?

I think that was something that I didn’t take stock of and I wish I was a little bit better with, but I think I finally realized what it means to “make your days”, to “make your minutes”. How do you keep everybody engaged? How do you keep your crew engaged? Is this going to be a long production? How do you do this? How do you keep it all alive? And we’re doing it in the thick of winter in London, you know, we couldn’t afford heaters and stuff.

And we were just blessed with such an amazing crew. I didn’t have a crew with These Birds Walk. It was just me and my co-director, and then I had an editor, Sonejuhi Sinha, who came on board for free. It was just people out of the goodness of their hearts, whereas with Mogul Mowgli, it was both the goodness of their hearts and they were getting paid a little bit. No one was getting paid great money. But it was still this desire to make an excellent film.

I think what I had to learn was to communicate clearly what this film was with everybody involved. That was a really exciting and new thing for me, because it wasn’t just me and a co-director. We have a ship and everyone on the ship needs to know what this film is and how we’re going to make it look, how we’re going to make it feel. These are friends I care about, I care about Riz, he’s a dear friend of mine. And I wanted to make sure that he was being respected, that I was being respected and I was doing right by everybody on my team.

And I think that’s really the most important thing for me, because man, who cares? We’ll make films, we’ll die, who gives a shit? Right? But how we lived and all that stuff, I feel like that matters. You could give somebody a very empowering experience.

Riz Ahmed as Zed in ‘Mogul Mowgli’.

While your own experiences were a major inspiration on a number of areas of the film, what research did you do for the medical aspects of the movie, especially with how crucial it is to telling this story? Oh, it was massive, we did a lot of research. We pulled a lot from our own families’ histories, but we never named the illness. That was quite important to us. It was quite allegorical, but also based in a very real concern, a very real thing.

I think something that I will say that is true is that a lot of first-generation immigrants have autoimmune illnesses, and it’s because of the body coming into a new terrain and new climate. Sometimes there’s trauma in the body from past generations. The Body Keeps the Score is a book that I think everyone’s been reading these days, but it’s about epigenetics and this idea that the psyche doesn’t know time. It doesn’t understand time, so you can’t hide it.

We have this false idea that time will heal wounds, but it’s such bullshit, because if we don’t confront these traumas, we can then pass those traumas onto our family members, which is something that I think is very real.

There are a few moments while Zed’s coming to terms with his condition in which he encounters the image of Toba Tek Singh. What inspired their appearance in the film and their place as a confronting figure for Zed? I think there’s a few things. One is that he’s an allegory, he very much symbolizes the illness, he is the illness. But then there’s another part of it where, like, I feel that I never know how to connect with our culture. I’ve always had a hard time understanding how to connect with it. So that’s the reason why he’s almost veiled from us as well. It’s like I don’t want to be able to see him—I don’t know what he is.

We have this very social-realist film, and we filmed the movie chronologically. So what I remember is that in the prayer scene, the first time he looks over and he looks back and then we have the guy in flowers I was like, “I can’t believe I’m making this movie, am I really doing this?” And you know, good on Riz. This is why having good partners along with you to be like “yeah, this is what we’re doing and we’re committing to this”, because there’s a version where they didn’t exist.

I also have to ask about the opening scene with the concert. I know that you had originally taken footage from one of Riz’s own concerts, but then you re-recorded it. How difficult was that scene to put together? It was scary! It was our first day of shooting, it was the first day of Riz and I working together. I’d filmed him a little bit here and there, like in a hotel or this or that, I filmed him in Pakistan when we were having fun, but it was all fun. Now we’re putting on the concert, people are there to see Riz perform, it’s the first day of filming, you know what I mean? The crew doesn’t have the language yet, we’re still figuring out who we are, how we’re all going to speak to one another, and then we have to do this big concert scene.

I will say that it was so important to make it feel like he is a real performer. I think I wanted to see him unleash a bit, because I wanted that energy from Riz to be real. I want him to unleash in a way that we haven’t seen him perform in concerts before. We did a few takes on it and then it was like, no, we got to go further, now we got to go further. And that was great to see how both of us were egging each other on to go further with it.

It was a really powerful introduction. It’s something that makes you sit up and take notice, if that makes sense. Thank you. I love openings of films. I remember my co-director on These Birds Walk, they taught me that how you open is everything. So I always knew that I wanted to open with a concert and then end with the concert. But I wanted the last concert to be in the bathroom. And I’m happy they were able to bring it to life.

‘Mogul Mowgli’ director Bassam Tariq. / Photo by Ryan Lash

Were there any opening scenes that inspired you when thinking about that scene? One of my favorite movie openings is Under the Skin, because I think it tells you very clearly what the film’s about, it grabs your attention. You’re about to watch a story about humanity and about, you know, what does the construction of a human look like, which is phenomenal, like, what is under the skin? Literally, what is under our skin? There are others. Narc has an incredible opening.

What were the films that most inspired the overall production of Mogul Mowgli? You know, there’s this one film by Alonso Ruizpalacios called Güeros. It’s one of the best debut films I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s so radical. It’s so singular. It’s so special. It’s so specific. And there’s probably a thousand things I don’t understand about it, but I love that about it. I’m walking into a world that I haven’t seen.

I would also say that the TV show Atlanta is a deep inspiration for me. Another film that I’m just so in love with that I watched a few times with Omar Mullick was Ida. Then I would say Son of Saul, and how that dealt with trauma, was really powerful. And all three of these films were also shot in the Academy ratio, which is the 4:3 ratio that I think we unwittingly decided to do.

Were there any particular filmmakers that really inspired you growing up or that made you think “yeah, this is what I want to do”, and pushed you to make the films you are today? No, I don’t think it was in the filmmakers I looked at, but more just the wonder of film that I loved, the escape of film. So my earliest films that I always loved were, like, Back to the Future. I watched a lot of, it’s weird to say, but even the bad Marvel movies I’ve seen, like The Punisher, Captain America, those early ones, I would watch those because I loved the comics. So for me, the comics were an escape, and ’90s X-Men, the ’90s Spider-Man, that was my life. My first introduction to Blade was that bit when Blade [appeared] on Spider-Man in one of those episodes of the animated series. And then, of course, the movie Blade.

I will say that one filmmaker I’ve come to who’s given me permission to make films is Abbas Kiarostami, the Iranian filmmaker who died a few years ago. He’s just a phenomenal voice, a singular voice in Iran. And Mohsen Makhmalbaf and then his daughter Marziyeh Meshkiny, who made the film The Day I Became a Woman. But these are films that are so unapologetically unique and of them. I want to be able to do that as well. They’re not in response to, or reacting as a discriminated member of some community, but instead they’re like, “no, I exist and I am”.

I feel like so much of the content that comes from communities that I’m a part of can sometimes feel like we’re sloganeering to white people or to the heteronormative or whatever. It’s just, like, come on. Andrew Haigh’s Weekend is one of the films that really moved me and made me be like: “Oh, wow, this is uniquely queer, it could only be two queer people having a one-night stand. It couldn’t be anybody else. And it had to be made only by that filmmaker.”

That’s it, that’s filmmaking, that’s cinema to me, that’s exciting. Just like the movie The Fits, where it could have only been written by women, directed by a woman, edited by a woman, it’s so specific. It’s one of the films that I also look to that I’m, like, what she did in that film, I’m still in awe. I can never have that experience, but I can relate. I can connect to something so vulnerable and so true. Because when it’s true, it’s undeniable.

Just one last question, the obvious question: top three films of all time, what would you say they are? I’m going to go with Stalker by Andrei Tarkovsky, and I will say The Matrix because, you know, whatever, I’m lame like that. Then I’ll say another very expected answer, City of God. If I could add two more to the list, though, I would say Güeros and Dog Day Afternoon, for sure.

They’re all very different from one another. Yeah, but that’s what’s so great about cinema. You’re fluid. Genre, it could be anything.

Related content

Citizen Bane’s list of films and shows that pass the Riz Test

Hip Hop Hooray: Darren’s comprehensive list of hip hop and rap films

Best Directorial Debuts of 2020: as voted by Letterboxd members on Twitter

Follow Alicia on Letterboxd

‘Mogul Mowgli’ is currently screening at Film Forum (NY) and Nuart (LA), and coming to more screens soon.

#mogul mowgli #sound of metal #riz ahmed #bassam tariq #blade #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #mcu blade #mahershala ali #pakistan cinema #pakistani cinema #bipoc filmmaker #the riz test #muslim film #south asian film #letterboxd

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kob131 · 4 years

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youtube

You know Hero Hei, it’s hard to feel sorry for you (or even try to be neutral towards you) when you’re still pulling the same manipulative bullshit.

Shocked face, overexaggerated title, contrasting colors, aggressive language- I’m pretty sure if Trump’s Political ads had thumbnails, they’d looked identical to yours (and I only say Trump because every other politician follows an older version of your formula.)

‘This is a follow-up to Neath Oum’s hitpiece on me-’

There you go again. Hit Piece is defined as a disingenuous article or similar such piece of media designed to turn public opinion against a person. Issue is- this is not a public article, it’s a fucking tweet thread and it’s not made to turn people against you (and consider the replies to his tweet, it wouldn’t even slightly change public opinion of you), it was made to explain why he doesn’t like you.

We can actually see how a hit piece would sound like IN YOUR VIDEO, as Neath forgoes a lot of the manipulative techniques you use in your videos to get an emotional reaction out of his audience before even beginning.

‘I have nothing but respect for Monty Oum-’

Your numerous videos slandering his friends when the man outright told people to stop watching his show for saying one of his friends was a lesser voice actor than two others in ONE instance says otherwise.

‘*insert a bunch of sarcastic stuff here*’

I wouldn’t bitch too much but this video is only 6 minutes and 13 seconds long and about half a minute passes without him saying of substance. And I’m keeping his shit vague because it’s meaningless and just meant to rile his audience up.

‘It won’t negatively affect me at all.’

Cool...and Neath is never shown to intend it too. Here’s the tweet thread that Hero Hei is talking but never sources (https://twitter.com/neath_oum/status/1307345624958812160). Not once does he ever say anything about exposing Hero Hei and ends it by reiterating it’s about explaining his blocking.

Also of note-

Because his lies exacerbate conflict or generate controversy where none existed

Neath says this in his chain. Now consider Hero Hei portraying this as an attack against him...when he never says to spread his thread, use manipulative language like you do or use the attention grapping tactics you do. And now you’re just proving him right when you could have stopped this 40+ second monologue, made a title like “I respond to Neath Oum’s Twitter Thread” and used a different thumbnail.

(Note: I am skipping from 0:37 to 1:22 because at 0:44 he says to skip that segment as it’s a catchup and I’m trying to give him some benefit so I’ll just skip it and assume he gave a neutral recap.)

‘He begins hyping this thread up and being really suspicious and vague about it!’

You mean like what people said about your original video on the subject which you dismissed and mocked them for?

To paraphrase you Hero Hei-

‘Read beyond the first sentence.’

‘In my opinion, this means nothing and so i will not comment on most of this.’

You mean opinion of the target of the so-called ‘hit piece’ who would have every reason to downplay what is being shown. After I having already seen for myself that you’re a damn liar and the very first part of the ‘hit piece’ is talking about how you lie by omission? You clearly do care because you made (an admittedly low effort) video on it and yet you can’t even address it properly? Speaking as someone who has had hit pieces made on him, you’re an idiot.

Also your ‘if you want to read the whole thing, you know where to find it!’ shit is inexcusable. It’s a known fact that audiences likely won’t seek out something that would discredit their subject. They’ll be far more likely to just accept whatever you say, especially if say...their emotions and tribalistic instincts were being played on by portraying Neath as inherently wrong and using emotionally charged language to elicit a certain reaction out of them.

“Most of this stuff is from a year ago anyways!’

Stuff which you yourself bring up before to make and support your points.

‘This isn’t really worth my time, it’s desperate.’

I have literally heard politicians pull this, how is everything out of your mouth killing your credibility?

‘*tries to portray Neath’s beginning statement as aggressive towards people asking for proof* Well I dunno why anyone would be upset you accused someone without proof but okay-’

A. ‘ Finished some stuff earlier than expected. For those who (civilly) asked for info and proof about hero hei, here you go.’

That is Neath’s opening sentence. This is not being aggressive or dismissive or at all negative towards the people asking for proof. I can’t think of a way to be more neutral than this.

B. Funny considering you accused Pedantic Romantic of being a stalker and yet never provided actual proof, just out of context screenshots (effectively lies which is WORSE.) So clearly you don’t care that much.

‘Funny that he says he found additional evidence about this when he retweeted a thread made a month ago by another twiiter user that I debunked in another vide Man this is some worthless stuff.’

Gee Hero Hei, I’ve noticed that you like to portray this as irrelevant without saying why, continuously using those kinds of terms. Kind of like news outlets when bitching about someone they don’t like, all using similar terminology as if to subconsciously reinforce an idea in the viewer’s head. Also funny since those same news outlets ALSO tend to rely on the reader’s bias...

‘See, he even admits that he’s taking this from someone I debunked!’

Well actually, you just pointed out one single mistake that wasn’t connected to their point but sure.

‘This is so lazy Neath!’

Hero hei, you literally just take what other people say and vomit it out- You do the same shit.

‘Animelog is by Toei actually!’

No Hero Hei, it’s not. Toei justed signed up for them. It’s still operated by AnalyzeLog...which is funded by Net 10 ventures, the company Neath CITED.

Benjamin Grubbs is the founder of AnalyzeLog. In 2018, AnalyzeLog was founded with seed funding from U.S. venture capitalist Next10 Ventures. In December 2019 AnalyzeLog Digital struck a deal with Toei Animation. Shogakukan followed Toei animation deal in April 2020, and just last month it signed a collaboration with animation studio Shin Ei Animation, creators of “Doraemon” and “Crayon Shin-Chan”.

‘He tries to compare Toei being a founder of Daisuki to it’s massive investment in AnalyzeLog!’

... Hero Hei. When you found something like a business, you are INVESTING in that business. Jeff Bezos fundamentally invested in Amazon when he started it up because he had to use his own money to make it happen.

... Do you think your audience is brain dead or something?

‘*covers Neath’s screenshot of his video titles*’

Hm, pretty sure that’s the definition of ‘suspect’ Hero Hei.

‘So this vice president of Rooster Teeth did horrible things to his wife and Neath is defending this or something-’

*grabs Hero Hei by the collar*

Nuh uh, you ain’t getting away with that shit.

First, short one about Rooster Teeth, the lies I am talking about were lies of omission. These screenshots show the titles of some of his videos. Titles and screenshots are what drives viewers when deciding what videos to watch. In the titles, he used "Rooster Teeth Vice President". Using "Rooster Teeth Vice President" evokes the image of the second highest ranking person at Rooster Teeth. However, he used "Vice President of Product and Engineering" in the video description, so he knew what the person's full rank was but omitted it from the titles. By seeing the actual rank, viewers would know that the terminated person was not the second highest ranked person at Rooster Teeth. Not including information in a title to give viewers the wrong impression amounts to lies of omission.

Some will argue that he didn't lie since the full rank was given in the description, it's just click bait and no big deal. That's fine but omitting information from the beginning warps first impressions and are still lies, even if small. That said, continue reading for more of his overt lies.

This is the full set of what he said in regards to RT. Notice something? Yeah- HE’S NOT DEFENDING THE MAN. Hero Hei just shoved that shit in. With NOTHING to indicate such a thing...you know other than ‘he dared to speak out against me!’

‘He seems to be complaining about the video title-’

TITLES (multiple) which comes up NUMEORUS times in his thread but sure. And you clearly agree with him since you bitched about his opening thread (just you know, effectively lying about it.)

‘*quotes an out of context sentence from the above quoted set* No I wasn’t trying tyo give people the wrong impression!’

Funny how context CHANGES things, like showcasing Hero Hei lying AGAIN.

‘I didn’t say that because Youtube has a 100 character limit for video titles so i couldn’t fit in!’

Yeah it does have 99 characters in it...

Except here’s the thing: you could have cut 33 characters from it even with inserting ‘of Product and Engineering’ easily.

Rooster Teeth RT Vice PRESIDENT VP of Product and Engineering ARRESTED, allegedly BEAT his WIFE Numerous Times and LAUGHED about it!

There, 66 characters and I made your video title better (by cutting out needless details) and more truthful.

I don’t trust you enough, especially with the shit you’ve already pulled in this video alone.

‘*mocks Neath for bringing up the Vic stuff from over a year ago*’

Hero hei, your channel has permanent ‘ISWV’ merch being advertised.

*doesn’t even bother to address what is said, just mocking the use of names.*

“Neath Oum s-said mean things about me mommy, make the scary man with 2/3rds of my audience stop mommy!’

See how stupid that sounds?

In fact, let’s stop here because he says NOTHING of worth and Hero hei killed his credibility (along with any chance of me even giving him anything beyond basic human respect) at this point.

Considering the very little he DID cover ended up being just shit flinging from him AT BEST- he actually made Neath look pretty damn good. Because HH in comparison really does look like the embodiment of that ‘crying behind a smug face’ meme.

So congrats HH. I actually though the comparison was the result of personal bias against you and felt uncomfortable about. I now see it was entirely DERSERVED...if I choose to ignore how you implied Neath was defending a man BEATING HIS WIFE because he pointed out your clickbait bullshit.

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techouspeaks · 4 years

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Short Review on Ducktales 2017

With it’s cancellation announced, I take a look back on the reboot and share my final thoughts on it.

Now, a while back I did say that I didn’t care too much for the show, that I couldn’t get into it, but that was when the first or maybe even second season came around and I wondered if my thoughts changed over time after watching some episodes.

What are my thoughts on it? About the same...-ish. I dunno if I stated this before but I always felt that the 2017 reboot was trying to be too edgy and what I mean by that is that it tries to do more of the Darkwing aspect and often seems to put too much action when Ducktales was more about adventure than action. I mean, sure in some episodes they do stop a bad guy or they save the world in the old show, but they kept this more humble and light hearted feel to it and overall, kept it more of an adventure than just action. All the characters are always pumped up for action and adventure and craziness and not enough seem to be in between that. I especially didn’t like what they did with Webby because she felt like a Gosalyn 2.0. I don’t mind strong female and flawed leads but I felt like 2017 DT was always afraid to show a full on nurturing character, especially a female character.

Don’t worry, we’ll get to her in a minute!

Take Flora from Winx Club.

Her nature is kind, loving and nurturing. She’s completely feminine and vulnerable too. However, she can be pushed to her limits especially when she realizes she’s been taken advantage of and she’s useful in terms of magic and her nurturing side is seen as a strength since she can heal others and take care of things when it’s time for relaxation.

In DT 2017, all the female characters are strong and do have a nurturing side too but there aren’t too much of variety. They’re usually tomboys and as a tomboy myself and gender fluid, there’s nothing wrong with that but I like variety. I don’t think all female leads have to wield a sword or desire action all the time. Sometimes the greatest strength can come from say a seemingly “weak” character because their kindness and even loving nature is their strength and as long as they seem to be useful in some regard and have a brain, I don’t think it’s bad. I think what people assume feminism is that you can’t have even one or two female characters that aren’t bad ass action packed girls and that’s not really what it is. Basically there’s hardly any balance of female characters or even characters in general. They’re all about the same always crazy and pumped up characters or they’re too serious.

Louie is kinda not so much that but he also comes across as whiny especially since his actor is clearly a man doing a kid voice and more often than that I don’t mind it, but their voices for all triplets sorta grated on my nerves and even though I appreciate making the triplets different and having different voice actors, they still kinda sound the same and when they whine it actually hurts my ears. If you don’t have child actors, maybe settle for a woman doing a kid voice. Least even when it’s sorta noticeable it’s not as annoying and yeah I get it. The voices of the old triplets were annoying too but least they sounded their age. I always felt like their voices in the reboot sounded like a man getting strangled whenever they shouted.

Than you have Gyro in the 2017 reboot. They took what used to be this humble, shy friendly male character and turned him into a hipster jerk! I mean come on! Look at his get up! The moment someone sees him they’re gonna know the show was done in the late 2010s. He’s not settle in that appearance and his attitude. He’s so full of himself too! I absolutely HATED that! He’s not even like how Darkwing was full of himself, where he was full of himself but because it was sorta childish full of himself, he came out as charismatic! 2017 Gyro is just...Stuck up, jerk full of himself. I mean, yes he has his kinder moments sometimes but if you’re gonna do strong, action packed female leads, why not make some of the male leads have a humble, shy side? You could go Flora with him and made him sweet and nurturing but still very brilliant. That’s what Gyro was! And I know they wanted to change him up but they didn’t change Scrooge all that much, so I don’t see why they couldn’t have kept Gyro the way he was!

What made the old DT good and even timeless was the fact most of the characters were more humble, the show had a humble feel and I get that the new series characters can be too but the thing is they CAN be, but not most of the time. It’s not their complete nature and yeah that makes them seem rounded in some ways but it also can take away what made the old show welcoming.

And again, I feel like the show is trying to be a bit too action packed and not enough of the adventure or mystery. It seems like the characters are always on edge and ready for anything and again maybe trying to be too much like what Darkwing was instead of more of it’s own thing. Though, again, this is just my opinion and maybe I’m just trying to explain more of the feeling of why I can’t get into it as much as others do and I’m not a nostalgia purest either! I really do try to be open minded with new things! I do even like some of the Disney remakes even if they’re not perfect or no way close to the original. Shoot, another reason that could be is while I did like the original DT, I wouldn’t say I was a die hard fan of it either. In some ways, I think even the original DT can be overrated and wish other shows of the old days got more attention.

Color pallet and art style is okay. I kinda miss the more colorful pallets they used but by no means is awful. It goes make the colors they want to pop out do pop out so it does it’s job. I just think it could have a bit more brighter colors.

Now does that mean I hate DT 2017? No! Far from it! As much as I complain about certain aspects of the show, there’s a lot to enjoy too and even the aspects I don’t like about the reboot, I can understand and get why others may like it. I can admit when something just simply doesn’t do it for me but by no means makes it awful. I do really like Della Duck, despite being another crazy tomboy! She kinda reminds me of me in some ways except for the fact I’m not adventurous in that way and I hate traveling due to anxiety.

I think why I like her the most instead of the other female leads is just she feels more genuine to me. I feel like with characters like say Webby or some of the other female leads, they were like “See! We got a crazy tomboy gal! We’re going against the gender norm!” and focus too much of that and not enough of just making a female strong lead for just simply making a good character.

With Webby, I felt like they were trying too hard to go against the gender norm. Like “Look, she’s totally not the old Webby so you gotta like her! She’s smart, she’s over the top and total geek!” Which, with her I found kinda cheesy and almost fake. I know that’s kinda harsh to say and I kinda feel bad saying it, cuz I know people like this version and I don’t hate the character, I just couldn’t get into her character and again, it felt like they made her the way she did because of the SJW appeal and not out of honesty.

(Note: I’m not entirely against SJW since I do agree with some stuff, but I’m not completely for them either. Put it short, I put myself in between AntiSJW and SJW as I always believe in being more balance especially when it comes to certain topics, thus being fair to both point of views.)

While with Della it felt they just honestly wanted to make her a good character and really funny too! I also like the fact she’s an adult and admits to her mistakes and tries to do better. That’s how you make a strong, GOOD female lead.

(Disney, take freakin note when doing your live action remake female leads! Lookin at you Mulan 2019!)

And lastly, the stuff with Darkwing Duck, YES! I loved it! Anytime they do something that had to do with Darkwing Duck I was down for! I felt like I did when I was watching Darkwing Duck back in the old days! Took me back to my childhood days! I even started to like the new Gosalyn! Like I was with everyone else and wasn’t sure if I liked it but she really grew on me! I really do like her and I’m all for the new remake of the show if it starred these characters!

And I think that’s why I felt this sort of action pack and kind of edginess with the characters fit more with Darkwing Duck than it does with Ducktales. When they did Darkwing Duck it’s fine because Darkwing was about that. With Ducktales, it’s okay but it also feels a bit out of place for me anyway, cuz I always associated the old show with adventure with more humble characters.

So how would I even rate Ducktales. I would probably rate it around a 6 or 7 out of 10 stars, if I had to rate the show at all. It’s not bad and the stuff I don’t like really has to do with more of a personal opinion, rather than something I find wrong with the show. I do recommend seeing it at least a few episodes before drawing a personal opinion and if you have kids that like action and adventure, I know for sure they will get into it.

#darkwing duck #ducktales #ducktails 2017 #ducktails reboot #Disney

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hinagamoizaf · 3 years

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Happy 1 Year Anniversary to this Cinematic Treasure 🎄💝

Sharing something I originally wrote on my personal acc, almost a year later & I still have the same thoughts. Personally, Christmas has never been a big thing for me, didn't even celebrate it until I was with my partner. But I've been seeing online how people are saying Little Women (2019) is a Christmas film; and it took my monkey brain a whole year to realise that:

8th March : It’s #InternationalWomensDay and let me take a moment to gush about this film. Little Women has a special place in my heart and like most literary classics, it took me a few years to really appreciate it. I only saw the 2019 version in cinemas twice, but I can’t get enough of it.

Everyone from Gerwig, the talents of Pugh & Chalamet, and everyone else involved in bringing Alcott’s endearing novel to life : winter fires were born & they’re only burning brighter for a new generation.

I know it’s 2020, but I find a lot of directors & writers are simply shoe-horning in diversity for the sake of a checklist. It’s all about intention, to see juggernauts like Disney or Rowling stoop so low is so shameful to see. I look at Little Women and all of its iterations, it’s not being feminist because ‘it’s hip’; it cares about its story & treats its characters with respect while bringing its own spin on feminism.

One of my favourite (and there are A LOT) quotes from the film is , “Just because my dreams are different than yours doesn't make them unimportant.” Meg says this to explain to Jo about her own desire to get married; it beautifully captures that there is no ‘right way’ to become a strong and independent woman. All of the March sisters represent a form of femininity that are all valid and wonderful in their own right.

Coming-of-age stories are hardly anything new, but Little Women is an absolute love letter to the genre. Spoilers for Gerwig’s version: the director blends in the adult and childhood stories of the sisters interchangeably. Their adult lives are filmed in this colder and more mute filter. Whereas their time as children has a warmer and summer-like tone to it, it literally has rose-tinted glasses. This is sheer genius, never in a million years would I have thought of it myself and why I personally think is another reason Gerwig’s version should be celebrated.

Now in my 20’s, the question of ‘leaving your successful mark on the world as an creative individual VS sacrificing your independence for a life of domestic security’, dude this film just really hits me right there. Obviously you can achieve both, but it’s interesting to look back on this & arguably some women are still in this dilemma. It’s the age old ‘career vs family’ towards an extent.

Kudos to Alcott, she never married and clearly Jo is based on herself.100 year spoiler : the struggle Jo has in the end of having to marry off her heroine for the sake of publication is something Alcott herself went through.

Yeah, my heart breaks for the Jo x Laurie ship that never sailed. But on a fundamental level, Jo is staying true to her character & remains a spinster (well at least until the academic came). You could also bring up how she’s trapped in childhood, seeing how her Teddy becomes Laurie is just another reminder she has to grow up. In a vein similar to Catherine & Heathcliff, I think Jo & Laurie are soulmates. But their relationship is rooted in friendship & eventually family, this is a ship that isn’t feasible as a romance.

If you haven’t already, go watch Little Women.I believe what you bring to a film is what you make of it, and clearly I brought a lot. I am honestly in love with the 2019 adaptation, I’m excited for what it’ll bring for a new generation of fans and growing girls.

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devourer--of--books · 4 years

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if you’re not the bride (deluxe version)

So you may be wondering why is it you're seeing this. Hello, it is I again. If you're here, maybe you're familiar with the original "if you're not the bride', which I posted about three years ago. In case you're not, then, hello, welcome, when I was 15 I wrote a story under this same title. Then forgot all about it. But every so often someone would come across this story and I was reminded of its existence. Then, back in september 2019, I decided to read it again, correct some grammar and call it a day, you know, just so I could rest assured I hadn't written something horrible. Turns out, it got a bit out of hand and I decided to rewrite the whole thing. However, due to the fact that college is the worst, I never finished it and, well, forgot about it, again. Now, as quarantine came around, I found my rewrite from 6 months ago and since I got the time why not, right? This is now more than double the size of the original and has a lot more of backstory than intended. You can still find the original with some corrections here on AO3 and , and the cursed unedited version somewhere on tumblr for the sake of nostalgia. Warnings: There's cursing, some drinking and good old make outs. July 2020 edit: here I am, re-edting this thing again. This all said, welcome folks, to the deluxe version:

"You're going to what?!" Agatha raised her voice, tightly holding her phone to her ear. Surely, she must have heard Sophie wrong. Her friend did have a reputation for being over the top, but this was beyond absurd.

When people said that being friends with Sophie was…an exotic experience, they weren't completely wrong, per say. Being friends with Sophie could be a lot like being friends with a hungry animal. She was ruthless, dangerous and not trustworthy about 60% of the time. Sophie would do most anything to get whatever she wanted and absolutely would step over you in the process (sometimes for no reason other than because it amused her to do so). It wasn't personal, mostly. It was simply her nature.

For her, there were two kinds of people: her friends and her enemies. It was very easy to go from one category to another and anything in between simply couldn't be processed by her brain.

Sophie was a difficult person.

Agatha could tell you in more detail, she would know. Being Sophie's best friend wasn't exactly a dream come true. It had its perks of course, and when all was said and done, Sophie was an okay-ish person and a mostly good friend, but you gotta give it up to Agatha; it was no task for the weak-hearted.

They had been friends since kindergarten and were as different from one another as it gets. Had they met later in life, Agatha is certain they would've never become friends at all. Sophie was a loud, gorgeous (and kinda mean) blonde bombshell and Agatha was a grumpy, average-looking mostly nice girl (she wouldn't call herself kind, really, her niceness was more of a subproduct of her aloofness than anything else). The two of them disagreed in most anything and had not that much in common. Yet, it somehow worked. They argued a lot, as in, a lot, but it was always fixed within a weeks' time, in a coffee shop, over a good old vanilla latte and some black tea.

An odd pair, to say the least.

Which was fine by them. Sophie… was a work in progress. She was trying.

Nevertheless, every once in a while, something like this would happen. Because Sophie was still Sophie and her head worked in mysterious ways.

"I'm getting married, Aggie," Agatha could practically hear the blonde rolling her eyes on the other side of the device, "people do that all the time. It's, like, a thing."

"Sophie, you're not even done with college yet! Getting married with what money? As far as I know, your modeling barely pays your rent and don't even get me started on your student loan and credit card debt! And getting married to whom? Last time I checked, you weren't even going out with anyone!" She tried to cool her head, catching her breath while trying to recall any possible groom Sophie could have taken. "Unless… Are you marring Hort?"

A disgusted groan was heard.

"Ew, no. Not Hort, for God's sake. What do you think I am? Desperate?"

A bit, but Agatha didn't dare say it out loud.

Hort was a guy who lived at the apartment just below Sophie's, in a tiny complex downtown. They've known each other for quite a long time now. It was practically common knowledge that Hort acquired the biggest crush on her the moment he first laid eyes on her. It was all the old ladies from 1A and 2C ever talked about.

Over the years, he became quite easy on the eyes, even Sophie had to admit it. No longer the scrawny awkward kid that helped Agatha drag Sophie's couch upstairs (while Sophie flirted with the trucker, trying to get free shipping for her mattress, which, by the way, she got), but a fully formed man, completely jacked, and with a growing bank account to match, due to his fitness-program-thingy taking off. Agatha didn't really know the details of that, but she knew it was going well, mostly because Sophie told her so.

Anyway, he claimed to not want anything to do with her friend nowdays.

Yeah, right.

Agatha felt bad for him, she really did.

Loving Sophie was like loving a hurricane. Violent, brutal and downright painful.

She had initially assumed it would go away with time, that he would eventually see that they weren't compatible and let it go.

However, it was a bit more complicated than that, as most things in life tend to be.

She knew he and Sophie had hooked up, in fact, she knew that they did so often. Sophie hadn't told her, but she didn't need to. Agatha knew. The aftermath was never good, and for the sake of keeping things short and lighthearted, Agatha shall spare you the angst and just say that, as mentioned above, Sophie was fantastic at getting whatever she wanted and disregarding other people's feelings.

Honestly, Hort could say he wasn't into Sophie all he liked. At the end of the day, he was still living at that shitty apartment (even though he could probably have moved somewhere better a long time ago), hadn't seriously dated anyone since meeting her and was responsible for at least half of Sophie's modeling gigs, which were her friend's main source of income. Agatha had warned him, several times, mind you, but all you can do is all you can do. The heart wants what it wants, she presumes.

"If not Hort, who then?"

"Oh, you don't know him yet," She could practically see Sophie twirling a golden lock on her fingers, a mischievous smirk on her face.

"Clearly," Agatha rolled her eyes and put her phone on speaker to be able to look around for her keys more comfortably. Reaper, her cat, had a bad habit of hiding them in the weirdest places. "Why didn't you tell me you were seeing someone last time we went out for coffee?"

"Because I wasn't seeing anyone at the time," the blonde-haired woman sounded a bit annoyed, seemingly not understanding why Agatha was having such a hard time believing her ludicrous story.

"Sophie."

"Yes, Aggie?"

"That was literally three weeks ago."

"It's true love, Agatha. I can feel it. This is my real-life fairytale. I found the perfect guy for me. He's so different from anyone I've ever met…" Agatha tuned her out, finally realizing what was going on.

For Sophie, everyone she dates is her one true love. She was intense like that. There were lots of "perfect guys" on the list, too many, and eventually Agatha grew tired of counting them. Neither did she remember their names. Why bother, when Sophie would grow tired of them soon enough?

Her friend's drug of choice just so happened to be was serial dating with lots of love-bombing on the side.

Parents got divorced? Look at this cute basketball player that will probably cheat on me.

Bad day at a shoot? Oh, that barista is so sexy, bet he'll hook up with me anyway.

I have no idea where my career is going and hate my major? Why not call Hort up, right?

But getting actually married? That's new.

Agatha sighed, picking up her keys from the pot of her balcony plant. Time to be the be the grown-up. Again.

"Sophie, are you 100% sure you want to get married to this guy? Can't you wait a few months at least? How about you guys move in with each other first?" If Sophie doesn't tire of him, that would terrify the poor thing into ending this madness. Again, Agatha would know. She had to stay at Sophie's for a few weeks once, back when she had split with a partner whom she had been living with; it was hell on earth.

"Weren't you hearing, Aggie? We. Are. Soulmates. He is very serious about me. He's so in love with me, he would never hurt me, and I need to tie him down before he runs away. Isn't this what people always say?" Her friend's voice was getting snappy. Oh, no, not good.

"Sophie, I just think you should be more careful and reasonable…" Agatha tried to pacify, tiredly.

Did she not own any clean jeans? Damn. Why does she keep forgetting to do her laundry? The blue skirt she wore to work would have to do.

"It's always reason, with you, Agatha! You never listen to your heart! I thought you would be happy for me! You're always telling me just how much potential I have! He brings out the best in me! What do you even know about relationships anyway, you always end up ru-"

"SOPHIE!" She interrupted, before her friend could say something she'd regret and crush whatever good mood was left in Agatha's body. "I'm just surprised, that's all. Tell me about this guy…?"

Fuck it, she decided. Agatha was in currently in a hurry and this could be solved later. She wasn't going to be able to win Sophie over the phone. Maybe she could sit her down on sunday, have one long talk about red flags in relationships, again. Convince her to stay engaged for a bit longer, just enough for her to get bored and then call it all off as soon as the new whats-his-face walks through the door.

Now was not the moment to be arguing, especially if she wanted to be on time.

"…And he's so great and wonderful, he's tall, has these hypnotizing eyes, they're so intense, it's like they suck you in, Aggie! His hair is just wow, it's a very uncommon shade of blonde, the undertone is beautiful, so expensive-looking... but it's natural, he swears. And his skin is so soft, you wouldn't believe, his name is…"

Agatha tried to listen. She really did. However, all she could hear was "bla, bla, bla, perfect, bla, bla, bla, handsome". Lord, not this again. Did it get worse every time...?

The brunette stuffed her wallet in a handbag, grappling to close it (it had been a present from Sophie, and as such, probably hardwired to annoy her and look good at the same time), and gave herself a look over in the mirror, before frowning. Oh, time for her limited make-up skills to be of use.

Damn, she looked rough. She left in hurry that morning, so her bare face stared back at her in its full sleepless-racoon glory.

It has been a long week of nothing but late nights trying to get her workload done. She couldn't believe she was saying this, but she missed college. At least back then she didn't have to worry about rent. Oh, to be young, broke, dead-inside and living on a dorm. The wonders, truly.

Concealer, blush, eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick. There. Done.

Kinda?

"… So, are you up to it?"

What.

"… Hm, sure?" She responded, still trying to evaluate if her liner was acceptably symmetrical. It wasn't. It never was, but it wasn't always this bad. Really, not her best work. Maybe she could fix it, somehow?

"That's amazing, you'll look so pretty, the dress I picked is perfect for your undertone, you'll be the best maid-of-honor ever!"

Oh, god, no. No way. What has she done?

Should she do that red-flag-talk now?

"How… nice of you to say that," Agatha replied, barely contained horror coming across in her tone. Not that Sophie paid her any attention.

"I set the date for the engagement brunch-party for tomorrow around 10am. At the terrace. And speaking of dates, I must introduce you to someone, he's great, Aggie, and I think you guys could…"

No. No. No. Agatha is drawing the line here.

"Oh really, cool, hey I have to go, callyoulaterbye-"

Agatha throws her phone on the bed, groaning loudly. Reaper stirs in her pillow, but is otherwise unbothered by the conversation, unlike his owner.

Of all things… getting married. Agatha was now her bridesmaid. Engagement brunch…?

Sophie, why. Why?

Agatha was now an accomplice of this crime against good judgement, wasn't she? Should she call Sophie again…?

Ugh, you know what? She'll sort this out this later. Sophie could wait a few hours, Agatha earned this night out.

…This totally is going to come back to bite her, isn't it?

Well, too late, Agatha's leaving. Because, unlike Sophie, who clearly had too much free time in her hands, Agatha had things to do and couldn't just waste her precious friday nights on this kind of bullshit.

"You're late," is the first thing Hester says to Agatha, not even lifting her gaze from her phone as she approaches their table.

It was the usual one, right by the wall, perfectly placed so it was far enough from the dance floor but close enough to the bar, so it was still socially acceptable to be seated but not too "loser-zoned", in Hester's own words.

Hester herself looked the same as always. Dressed head-to-toe in black and showing off an impressive number of tattoos per square inch of skin, she made quite the intimidating sight. The only tip to her actual day job was the discarded white blazer and sleek suitcase lying on a chair beside her. Back in school, Agatha used to find it hard to picture Hester being anything but a witchy-biker or a badass-tattoo-artist, but she supposed scary-lawyer suited her friend just fine.

"Nice to see you too, Hester. I've been well, thanks for asking," Agatha sits down, annoyed. She knows she's late. She missed the "early-comers, free entrance" time, and damn if the isn't pissed that she's now 15 bucks broker then she already was. "Anadil, Dot, it's great to see you guys too"

Both women acknowledge her presence quietly: Anadil nods,before getting up from her spot and leaving to god-wishes-he-knew-where and Dot hugs her briefly, headed to the bar.

Hester rolls her eyes and repeats herself.

"You're late."

"Shut up, I'm here, aren't I?!" Agatha snaps, before she bit her lip and propped her elbows onto the table, head in her hands.

The gesture makes Hester lift her eyes from the phone, finally.

"Well, someone's had a bad day."

"Look, I'm sorry. It's been one looong horrid day. Have you ordered any drinks? Or are we going for beer tonight?" Agatha asks, going over the familiar menu, even though she has every beverage price there already memorized.

"Okay, slow down," Hester yanks the menu out of her hands. "Have you eaten? I'm not going to take care of you if you didn't."

Yes, she would, but that's not relevant.

"Yes, mom," Agatha rolled her eyes. "I'm tired, tomorrow is gonna suck, let's drink."

"Tomorrow? Tomorrow's saturday, loser, sleep to your hearts content," Hester reminds her, but at seeing Agatha stare back at her in misery it occurred to her what, or rather, who, this was about.

"Blondie has been texting me non-stop about brunch. At 10. What's up with that?" She lifts a brow, her judging eyes scanning Agatha's expression. Agatha in turn, lets her elbows drop and bangs her head onto the table, harder than originally planned, a whimper leaving her lips.

Hester sighs. She loves Agatha to the death, but when it comes to Sophie, she has always been way too forgiving. Agatha was not Sophie's mother, she shouldn't have to look out for her and bend over backyards to help her. Personally, Hester and Sophie didn't get along very well.

Which lead to: Sophie never invited Hester anywhere, unless she wanted to rub something in Hester's face.

"...Apparently, she's getting married in, like, two weeks?" Hester's brows lift in surprise. "...To some guy I don't know?" Higher. "...And I'm a bridesmaid?" Almost disappearing into her hairline by now.

Awkward pause.

"Okay," Hester breathes in and out, "what the actual hell?"

"My words exactly."

"She'll be over it in a week," the tattooed woman deadpans.

"No doubt," the other replies.

Three more seconds go by, and it's far too long for Agatha, whose leg starts to twitch under the table.

"You're doing it again," she states.

"Doing what?" Hester asks, crossing her arms, lying back at her chair.

"That thing."

"What thing?"

"You know," Agatha vaguely gestures at Hester's face, "that thing your eyebrows do when you're being judgy."

"I am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"I so need a drink right now," she tells her before leaving the table.

At the bar counter, Agatha sits down on a stool and waits for the bartender, Chaddick, to show up, ignoring Hester's glare on her back.

Now for some unnecessary backstory, in case you're interested: Agatha and Chaddick had a bit of history (read, beef) long before this club, The Woods, opened and even before Agatha and Hester started to have their monthly night-out there.

Chaddick was a jock whom Agatha went to school with, all the way from sixth grade to senior year of high school. To be brief, he was the worst ™. He made fun of her, tormented her days, spread rumors about her (including one that she was witch, which lasted for years) and even stole her stuff once. In senior year, he had even developed this habit of showing up with his friends at the tea place her mother owned, where she had worked a few shifts from time to time, ordering not a single drop of fucking tea, being loud and annoying for hours and only leaving when closing hour neared.

Agatha was sure that if you googled 'jackass', his picture would turn up. He'd been so full of himself, all because he had some cash, was athletic and was "cute", you know, in that white-upper-middle-class-way that most school-aged popular boys tended to be. But then, flash-forward: Chaddick now worked wednesday to saturday as a bartender at Agatha's favorite club. Apparently, his parents went bankrupt or something during college. Agatha felt kinda bad for him, but not really? She supposed he wasn't as terrible of a human being nowadays, but she was not about to go ahead and call him her friend, no matter how many times she had to make small talk with him for the sake of bar etiquette.

"So what's it gonna be today?" The bartender asked, not quite politely, but she lets it slide, for she could tell he was as thrilled about this conversation as her.

Chaddick, too, looks the same, to no one's surprise. He looked more tired, but still douchey enough that Agatha didn't feel too horrible of a person for not feeling as sorry for him as she probably should.

"Surprise me. I've had a very bad day."

"Is Sophie actually up to something then?" He asks while grabbing some bottles, "I hear there's going to be a brunch-party tomorrow…?"

"Who told you? Reena?" Chaddick dismisses the name casually with his hand. "Gisele?" 'no', he denies with his head. "Beatrix then?" he nods, uncharacteristically shy, and Agatha nearly felt pleased, before she remembered what they were talking about before. "Bingo. But yes, there's a brunch-party tomorrow. An engagement brunch-party."

He hands her a cup, wide-eyed, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Engagement? Do I even wanna know w-"

"You don't. Trust me on this," Agatha cuts him off, taking a sip of the beverage. She doesn't recognize its taste, which makes her wary. She knows her alchool. "What did you even put here?"

"It's a secret, tonight's special," he winked mockingly, before hurrying on to the next client.

Agatha briefly wonders if she should drink the rest of it, eyeing the cup curiously. It didn't smell bad and she kind of liked the taste. Should she trust Chaddick? Probably not. Then again, Agatha needed a drink tonight.

It would be fine. She is no lightweight, Hester is here, tomorrow's saturday. Right?

Another thing that would probably bite her later. So, she braces herself and downs the cup in a few large sips, heading back to her table.

Bring it on.

Two other cups of who-knows-what and an hour later, Agatha was back at the bar, now sitting in different stool, as far from Chaddick as she possibly could be, when a body drops on the sit next to her.

It's Dot, giggling loudly like a high school girl on heavy drugs.

The giggling persists for quite some time.

... It's kinda creeping Agatha out.

"Penny for your thoughts…?" She tries, taking a sip of her drink.

No response.

Giggle.

More silence.

"Hm, Dot?"

She continues to stare at her joyfully, still smiling like a madwoman.

Agatha found Dot adorable and friendly, which was a surprise since she was one of Hester's best friends. The two of them weren't really that close themselves, but she did enjoy her company. Being friends with Dot was as easy as it was harmless.

"Don't look, but there's a really hot guy right by the pool table who hasn't been able to take his eyes off you for the last fifteen minutes."

Agatha's eyebrows shot up in Hester-like fashion and she fights the instinct to turn around and check if Dot isn't messing with her.

She knows she is not the most attractive female in the room. Agatha tends to think of herself as more of an acquired taste, truly. Yet, every blue moon someone would come over to try their luck with her. Sometimes they're cute, sometimes they're funny and sometimes they're just desperate. So far, "hot guys" haven't really been her target demographic.

"So what? What's the big deal?" She tries to keep her nerves out of her voice, mostly succeeding, but Dot's smile only grew more and more mischievous, as if seeing right through her.

"Turn around. I dare you not to remember him. Pretty sure Sophie told you about how she met him again a few weeks ago, at that event she went to? The one sponsored by Camelot International?"

…Okay, so Agatha might be a bit of a bad friend. She didn't listen to 90% of Sophie's rants about guys or modeling events, so most likely she had told her about him as Agatha did something else. Something important, really.

…Like playing games on her tablet.

She worked a lot, okay? Can't have people hogging all her free time. Even if it was Sophie. Her best friend.

Shit.

Agatha's face must have betrayed her because Dot laughed even louder than before.

"You seriously don't?" she managed to ask between giggles, as Agatha blushed, frowning.

"I should?"

"Most likely yes. Sometimes you're way too funny, you know?" Her smile was dangerous. Stop smiling at Agatha like that, woman.

It was at times like this she could see why Hester and Dot were such good friends.

"Thanks, I think?" Agatha eyes her companion carefully "How hot is this guy any…"

"Hot enough for you to talk to me, I hope," a male voice announced behind her, seemingly amused.

Not her day. Definitely not her day.

"He's right behind me?!"

Dot giggled loudly a final time before walking away to Hester's table. Very helpful. Forget what Agatha said about liking Dot. She didn't. Dot was a horrible person.

Agatha turned on her heels, facing the stranger with a sheepish smile. She was not ready for what was about to bite her.

Oh damn, please do.

…Figuratively, fuck. She meant in a figurative way.

Before we go on, Agatha would like to clarify that she blames any less than pure thoughts on Chaddick, because who knows what he put into her drink.

(Yeah, it's totally Chaddick's fault)

Amen, praise Jesus, okay?

Embarrassingly, her first instinct is to say that yes, he was totally hot enough to talk to her. Or come home with her. Or marry her (too soon for this joke, scratch that). That's not what she did, however. Oh, no, she stood there, in silence, and stared for quite a while before her brain rebooted and she finally gained control of her own body again.

Agatha is the first in line to advocate on why you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but she had eyes.

He was tall. As tall, if not taller than her, and Agatha was a tall woman. His jeans looked expensive and his light blue social shirt was tight on his chest, almost as if it were a size too small, the top buttons open, defined muscles visible to even the most casual observer. The shirt was paired with a grey-ish tie that hanged loosely around his neck, a bit too effortless-looking to be unintentional. His features were sharp, sculpted even, a certain California-sunny-surfer meets Adonis-next-door quality to them. Soft blond locks had an unnatural shine under the club's lights, as if they were made of gold.

And his eyes, my god, they were so blue Agatha felt like sinking and drowning in his arms right then and there. Unfortunately, she couldn't. Because you see, she is a grown woman and had a little thing called dignity.

Not that she didn't want to though.

Focus.

He did look kind of familiar. Had they met before? Agatha doesn't think so. This man looked like he just walked out of a Calvin Klein ad, and she sure as hell didn't know many people who look like that. One of Sophie's model friends? If so, she certainly hadn't introduced the two.

Yet, the way he was looking at her right now indicated the reality that she should probably know who he is. Maybe he was from her old gym, back when she let Sophie talk her into going for a few months? No, there were no hot guys there, just old ladies and teenagers.

Okay, so, plan B, say something smart.

"Hm…"

Say something.

"…So…"

Anything!

He doesn't look very impressed by her articulate conversation skills, but Agatha can't place where she had seen him before. Maybe they had been neighbors at some point? She moved quite a few times in these last years and keeping track of all of them was impossible. But that didn't seem quite right. A friend of one of her exes then? Did they meet at pride or something?

Seriously, who was this guy! Acting all smooth, as if she should know who he is! He's good looking enough to be memorable sure, but clearly not memorable enough.

Hell, did she sleep with him? He must have been the worst one night stand ever for Agatha to somehow forget him. Maybe he was so bad that she forgot about him completely...?

"I give up, I can't remember you."

He looked a bit offended. Maybe he was indeed a Calvin Klein model.

"The name's Tedros…?"

Tedros, Tedros… Tedros?

"Nope, doesn't ring a bell," she concludes, "but, I'm, hm, Agatha?"

"I know," he responds, curt and firm, nearly glaring at her.

"Neat."

"Nice."

"Good."

"Great."

"Awesome."

"Amazing."

"Extraordinary."

"Now, that's a big word," he mocks. Agatha suspects he just didn't know any bigger ones to keep up. Part of her wishes to strangle him with his own tie and part of her wants to call him out on his shit. He approached her, okay? She is under no obligation to recognize him.

Her eyes narrow and she sips on her fourth cup again.

"Do you need for me to tell you what it means?"

"Oh, no, I'm fine."

The passive-aggressive-ness of this conversation is starting to exhaust her and kill any buzz she had, but she can't just let Mr. everyone-knows-who-I-am-and-I-look-like-walking-sex win. He needed to go down (on her). What.

"Hm, Tedros, you're going to order something or what?"

Chaddick cuts the stare contest between brown and blue and Agatha makes a note to leave him a nicer tip tonight.

"What's the special of the day?" Tedros' tone is amused, as if he and Chaddick are old friends. Ugh, of course he would. He sounded douchey enough. Maybe he went to school with her? That sounded about right, she could picture it. Pretty-boy-Tedros, walking down the hall wearing a football jacket with a cheerleader or two on his arm.

"Nice little things I've put together," Chaddick wiggled his eyebrows. "Want some?"

"Is it safe?" Tedros asks him, cautiously.

"Well, Agatha here is still fine at four, I would say so."

Soon enough Tedros is downing his second cup, sitting on the stool next to hers.

Agatha wasn't sure how or why, but things went from point A to point B very, very quickly.

Point A being sitting beside Tedros at the bar and point B being heavily making out with him in a corner.

Agatha wishes she was joking. She wasn't. It just…somehow…happened?

Fuck.

It all started when Tedros eventually caught up to her and from there on they held a little amicable drinking competition.

("I bet you can't do more shots than me." "Oh, you're so on!" "You drink like a fourteen-year old, dude." "Oh yeah?" "Yeah.")

Then, they paid for their drinks. Well, Tedros did.

("Did you just... pay for me?" "It's called having manners." "Excuse you?")

After that, Chaddick kicked them out to the dance floor, something about the two of them 'grossing him out'. Agatha is not much of a dancer, so she tried to go back her table but Tedros said something (she can't quite remember what it was) that made her realize that she kind of didn't want to. Leave, she means.

They danced for a bit before she stepped on Tedros's foot, or maybe he stepped on hers first?

("Ouch." "Get out of my way!" "Make me.")

From there on it was incomprehensible screaming over loud music for a while and they somehow ended up being way too up in each other's personal space. Agatha eventually just lost it, and grabbed him by his collar, bringing him down to place a forceful peck on his lips, before backing away, partly horrified, partly proud.

It took two mortifyingly long seconds of silence and pure embarrassment for Tedros to grab her by the waist and kiss her roughly.

They stumbled to a more secluded corner, until Agatha's back hit a wall, but she was distracted from the pain of the impact by Tedros licking her bottom lip, seeking her tongue, a small sound escaping her once he found it. What the hell is she even doing, this should not be happening. And yet, she cannot bring herself to care.

This is a wild, passionate kiss and not at all Agatha's expertise. She always considered herself more of a slow-vanilla-soft kind of girl. But out the window with that, Tedros was nowhere near close enough, no matter that they were already flush against each other. Maybe this is why Sophie thinks every guy she meets is her soulmate. As cheesy as it sounds, she feels somehow connected to this stranger, almost as if they were meant to be or something.

Ha, as if.

Any thoughts, of soulmates or otherwise, are forgotten when Tedros' hands start to wander, one goes from her waist to her hip and the other moves to explore her tight, squeezing it deliciously. Agatha retaliates by pulling on his hair, not as lightly as she probably should've, but is rewarded with a husky groan and a bite on her bottom lip.

(She does it again because that might be her new favorite sound.)

What. Is. Going. On.

Her last braincells are on fire. She was on fire.

Okay, young lady, de-attach yourself from the handsome male slo…

Oh God.

She's pretty much breathless when he decides to break the kiss, her lips chasing after his for the slightest second as he pulls away. Her heartbeat has never been this loud and she has no time to overthink, as, suddenly, his lips are on her neck. Agatha lets out a quiet, but embarrassingly needy, whine (as quietly as she could, but it didn't really matter, he heard her anyway) when he nips on her ear and then trails down to suck at her pulse point. Her hands snake their way from his hair to under his shirt's collar and Tedros shivers once she drags her short nails lightly on his upper back and shoulders, but she can still feel his very attractive smug smirk against her skin.

She felt drunk. She doesn't feel like that often.

Not the completely-trashed-I-just-had-countless-drinks kind of drunk and certainly not this don't-care-keep-going-my-blood-is-on-fire kind of drunk either. Like she wanted to keep touching Tedros for the rest of her life (the idea doesn't sound half bad), as fireworks danced around them and… God, if Sophie knows this guy how she could not marry him on the spot, because fuck…

He's leaving quite a few love bites along her collarbone, teasing, attempting (and succeeding) at drawing tiny sounds from her and Agatha can't take it anymore. She drags him back up to her mouth and somehow pulls him even closer. She did not like feeling weak, but to her surprise, Tedros seemed to possess the superpower of turning her completely boneless in the best kind of way.

Wait.

Agatha is making out with Tedros.

Tedros is making out with her.

Agatha's eyes open in late realization and the two of them stare at each other for a few seconds.

So, this happened, huh?

"I… hm… have to go. Out of here. Home. Alone. Yeah, that," Agatha makes way around paralyzed Tedros, whom looks very confused and disoriented. His lips are tainted with coral lipstick, he's panting for air, his bright eyes dark with desire, clothes looking disrelished, pants looking a bit too tight, and he just looks throughfully kissed.

No, Agatha does not feel even a little tiny bit of pride by seeing him look like that because of her, what are you talking about, not sexy, not sexy at all.

… Maybe he could come along?

No. No, no, no.

She doesn't run away from him exactly, but she sure as hell wasn't walking. As she passes Hester and Anadil, the two of them raise eyebrows judgingly, but Agatha does her best to school her expression into neutrality.

If she waited a bit longer, she might have heard Tedros saying:

"Until tomorrow then."

Agatha regrets every single life choice that led her to this point.

She's sitting on a ridiculously shaped chair at Sophie's apartment building's terrace, brooding silently in the corner, with a big headache, while eating some diet cake that tasted like foam, listening to violin versions of bad pop songs, probably dying of heatstroke, and if that doesn't kill her soon enough, can someone please end her misery…

Hester and Anadil are not here after all. Agatha doesn't blame them. It might be for the best, because Agatha doesn't need to deal with Hester's judgy eyebrows right now. Dot is down in Sophie's apartment, at the kitchen, most likely trying to steal some wine and she is pretty much the only person here Agatha can stand.

She partly wonders if Hort will show up but decides she does not care. She's running on aspirin, her head feels like it was smashed against a wall multiple times, and it's too hot here, okay?

It's a hot sunny day and the limited shade would not be enough to cool Agatha down even if she wasn't wearing a scarf. Agatha hates this scarf. It was another one of Sophie's gifts, and Agatha hates it because it's an evil scarf that pinches her every five seconds. However it's the lightest scarf she owns, and she can't it take off.

Otherwise, someone might notice the dark mark on her neck, which her shirt could not hide, as was the case for the other ones, lower, in her collarbones.

Tedros freaking marked her. The nerve.

She's not nearly as pissed as she should be, because honestly she's kinda into it.

Taking off the scarf would lead to too much teasing and questions, she had no turtlenecks available (damn you, past-Agatha, for not doing your laundry) and if only she had the skills to cover it up with makeup. Not only was the scarf evil by itself, it made it impossible for her to not think of yesterday, therefore, making her even more irritable.

She is not the kind of person who kisses people at the club. She sure as hell wouldn't bring a guy she's just met, at the club of all places, home. What if he'd been a psycho? She doesn't know him. He'd know where she lived. She wouldn't go to his place either, that sounded even more irresponsible. But she wishes she had at least gotten his number, you know, instead of freaking out and running away. Well, he knew Chaddick, so maybe she could ask him?

No, that would be humiliating, and Agatha is trying to hang on to whatever dignity she had left.

Also, it had been almost an hour at this damned terrace party and she hasn't seen a single trace of Sophie's fiancé, but the blonde assured her he would be there soon. He's the late-type, hm.

Okay, so Agatha hates him already.

She has been to this terrace quite a few times, it was the one pro of Sophie's building, aside from cheap rent. But she was running out of both will and things to point out in small talk with all these models and small influencers. If she hears "Sophie has such a lovely terrace" one more time…

Suddenly, there was clank, signaling that someone pushed the terrace door open. As Sophie lit up and moved to greet the newcomer, Agatha felt the cake climb up her throat.

Holy hell, is that Tedros?

What is her life, really.

Agatha gets up from her chair quietly, observing the scene from behind a plant, trying not to be too obvious, just, ya know, casually chilling in the middle of the scorching sun. Sophie hugs him tightly, placing a kiss on his cheek, grinning as she laces their fingers together and starts walking in Agatha's general direction, pulling the handsome man behind her.

Hm, no.

Agatha resists the urge to pace in circles as she tries to gather her thoughts. It might be the hangover or the diet cake but seeing the two of them together made her wanna barf. Not because they didn't look good together. They did. In fact, maybe too good. Sophie's long soft hair was a shade or two lighter than Tedros', but other than that, they might as well have been made in the same Instagram-model-facility. Like a set, Barbie and Ken.

What is this feeling?

Oh no, she can see them approaching. Abort mission, leave, get out, hit the road…

"Aggie, darling!"

Agatha forces herself to fake a confident smile, as if she could always be found casually hanging out behind plants on saturday mornings. It turned out to be more of sheepish grin, especially when compared to her friend, whose pretty smile is almost too big for her too pretty face.

Sophie looked particularly gorgeous in her pastel green summer dress and peep-toe heels. Her tanned skin glows under the sun, the light catching in her green eyes on that special way that made photographers all around the industry want to work with her despite her inexperience, the grace within her movements creating an allure Agatha doesn't think she'd be able to recreate even if she were to be born again.

This is not good. Leave, abort mission, repeat, abort miss…

"Aggie, this is Tedros, you know, the one I was telling you about yesterday," she winked. "Teddy, this is my bestie, Agatha, you remember her, right?" Sophie nudges him lightly using her elbow.

Tedros looks even better now that she can see him in natural daylight. Which should be illegal, truly. He's wearing a plain white t-shirt and jeans, his hair made of pure gold looked just messy enough to not look too try-hard, yet something about him looked weirdly… staged? Agatha couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"I surely do," Tedros lets go of Sophie's hand, shoulders tensing, and Agatha thinks he might be blushing. Is he nervous? "We-"

"Nice to meet you," Agatha interrupts him, grasping his hand on a firm handshake and letting go just as fast, as if touching his skin would burn her. "Sophie told me a lot about you."

Play along, please. I beg you.

"Oh, hm, it's very nice to meet you too?" Tedros responds, confused, but not calling her out. "Nice scarf," he adds, his lips curling upwards, so very slightly she might have missed if she wasn't micro-analyzing his every movement. Smug bastard. She is all too aware of his gaze lingering on her neck, a hint of pride showing in his bright eyes, the teasing in his voice making her want to pull him down by the collar, whether to choke him or to kiss him she couldn't tell.

"Oh, isn't it cute? See, Aggie, I told you that color looked great on you!" Sophie cuts in, reaching to touch said scarf. Agatha steps back self-consciously, making an effort to not scratch the back of her neck as not to call more attention to it.

"Quite the bold fashion statement for the summer, may I add," Tedros continues as he casually leaned one elbow on Sophie's shoulder. Subtle enough that Sophie wouldn't read too much into it, but Agatha could see right through his shit. "But I like it. You look very pretty, Agatha"

How dare he, truly. No sham-

Wait.

"So, I need to get going, work emergency you see, but I'll make it up to you, Sophie," Agatha excuses herself, quickly. She tells herself it's just the heat that it's bothering her, but her brain is going 300 miles per hours and she needs to leave. Now.

"Aggie, tomorrow we'll be having lunch at the country club, don't be late!"

"Yeah, be there, alright."

Agatha sprints down the complex's stairs as discreetly as she can, which is not much. By the time she's at her car, the weight of her realization hits her full force.

"I'm getting married, Aggie"

"Not Hort"

"You don't know him yet"

"Aggie, this is Tedros, you know, the one I was telling you about yesterday."

"That was literally three weeks ago."

"I dare you not to remember him. Pretty sure Sophie told you about how she met him again a few weeks ago at that event she went to? The one sponsored by Camelot International?"

"…Oh he's so great and wonderful, he's tall, has these hypnotizing eyes, they're so intense, its like they suck you in, Aggie! His hair is just wow, it's a very uncommon shade of blonde, the undertone is beautiful, so expensive-looking, but it's natural, he swears, and his skin is so soft you wouldn't believe, his name is…"

"bla, bla, bla, perfect, bla, bla, bla, handsome"

"He's so different from anyone I've ever met…"

"She feels somehow connected to this stranger, almost as if they were meant to be or something."

"Acting all smooth, as if she should know who he is!"

"He looked a bit offended."

"The name's Tedros?"

"God, if Sophie knows this guy how could she not marry him on the spot…"

"Sophie hugs him tightly, placing a kiss on his cheek, grinning as she laces their fingers together and starts walking, pulling the handsome man behind her."

Agatha is a very bad friend, isn't she?

She bangs her head on the wheel.

Then, she regrets doing so, opening the car's door, so she could vomit some diet cake and last night's alcohol on the parking lot's floor before driving away.

By a miracle, Agatha survives the drive home and makes it back home in one piece.

As she walks into her own apartment, she does not feel half as guilty as she thought she would be. But she was very, very angry. Furious, actually.

At herself for being both a dumbass and a bad friend, at Tedros for being a player, at Chaddick for being a dick in general, at Sophie for being Sophie, at Dot for not warning her and even at Hester for not being at the party today so Agatha could at least not freak out by herself.

She can't do anything for the rest of the day, because trying to work, read or sleep is useless, since she can't focus with all the internal screeching her mind is doing. Her existence now doesn't make any sense and Agatha is about to tear her hair out, lying down in her bed, staring at the celling.

(There's a long crack on there and for whatever reason, it reminded her of a river. Probably because it didn't look like anything else.)

She contemplates calling Hester and telling her everything but ultimately decides against it. She can't bring herself to explain this out loud, least of all hear any possible lecture Hester might give her. Is this how Sophie feels when she decides hide things from her-

Oh my God, Sophie.

Tedros was engaged. To Sophie. He was Sophie's fiancé.

Agatha is not freaking out at all.

At last, ten long hours of sulking later, Agatha is feeling a lot guiltier, still very much pissed and just confused as a whole.

She made out with Sophie's fiancé. Should she tell her? Yes. Would she? To be decided.

Maybe they wouldn't even get married. Come on, a few weeks? There's no way Sophie will keep up this insanity. Telling her about the club incident would only hurt their life-long friendship over a guy who wasn't even gonna last two months. Years of companionship out the window. She had no intention of doing it again so, did it really matter? What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel, right?

She hadn't even known he was Sophie's fiancé!

But then again, Sophie had told her all about him. She didn't listen because she was a bad friend! Was she really gonna play the "I didn't know" card...?

It was the truth!

But no one would believe her. Fuck, if Agatha were Sophie, she wouldn't believe herself. Agatha was a smart grown woman, godamn it. What kind of dumb bitch even-

This wedding wasn't happening. No need to worry, right?

For now, Agatha has two long weeks of supposedly weeding-related bonding moments with Sophie to survive, without accidentally letting slip that, oh, talked, drank, danced and made out with Tedros.

Well, shit.

Even if one ignored the fact that the guilt was starting to eat Agatha alive from inside out, the next day would still have been a long, tortured journey of nothing but cringe and regrets. Yet she bore it, because she, even if accidentally, brought this on herself.

Agatha got up early on a sunday (name a bigger crime) to try and get something done, since she would probably have little time to work in the following weeks. Then, she went to have lunch with Sophie at a fancy country club (that Sophie couldn't afford by the way, which earned her a lecture on credit cards and personal finances) hoping to have that "red-flag" talk.

It did not go well.

Sophie had invited him along. Of course, she would. Apparently, since she was getting married soon, Agatha should be used to have him around. And, of course, Sophie would have decided to tell her he was coming the moment he walked in, headed to their table.

This is Sophie's fiancé. Do. Not. Stare.

What kind of cosmic karma is this? He isn't even her type.

WHY-

"Afternoon, ladies."

Sophie greeted the blonde with a smile and a hug, as Agatha merely nodded his way, scanning the room for the closest exit.

"Hi Teddy!"

"Tedros."

Lunch is awkward as hell and at this point Agatha is just waiting for a waiter to come and stab her. It ends up being both not so terrible and the worst lunch ever because she does talk quite a lot with Tedros, against her better judgment.

She learns that Tedros did go to her school, for three years. Sophie asks him if he remembers Agatha, and from Tedros' silence, Agatha assumes he doesn't want to admit to having been part of Chaddick's... shenanigans.

Her friend then talks astrology, and Agatha learns that he is a leo (because of course he would), is kinda proud of it but says he doesn't believe in astrology, prompting Sophie to start a discussion on why he wouldn't believe in astrology if he believed in tarot. The way he blushes and stammers is cute and makes Agatha feel horrible for thinking so, but she asks him about tarot anyway. She's just being polite, okay?

He mentions he'd turned 26 a while ago and recently moved back to the city, as he moved away to go to college in Avalon. She tells him she almost went there, but her scholarship did not include a dormroom and she knew no one there to share an apartment with. His answer is a blunt "I know", which both confuses and pisses her off.

Tedros offers her no further info on it, but they engage in conversation again after he mentions he is working at Camelot International.

("As one of the main executives on the board," Sophie adds, "it's one of the most powerful companies in the country.")

They quickly bond over their massive workloads (Agatha may not be a main executive of a huge corporate empire, but damn if being head finance director for SGE Enterprises didn't keep her busy enough), until Sophie slips that he must be very lucky to be the sole heir to the Pendragon Group.

Oh.

Tedros Pendragon. Are you kidding? Agatha remembers seeing his family's name being all over the news back in school and she feels dumb for not remembering that Tedros and 'that Pendragon boy' were the same person. Hadn't his parents had a huge cheating-divorce-scandal that caused the stock for the company to plummet a few years ago?

Tedros frowns at Sophie before saying that, "Yes, indeed, he's very lucky."

The blonde doesn't seem to notice the way his hands grip the fork tightly as he pronounces the last word, but Agatha does.

It adds on to the list of things that keep her awake later, after she does her damn laundry and stress-cleans her entire apartment. She curses as she turns and tosses on her bed, because it's 2 AM, work starts in a few hours and she needs to sleep.

The next four days are not much different, the routine is pretty much the same, except they have dinner plans instead of lunch. Work, eat, work, do bridesmaid shit with Sophie and Tedros somewhere, avoid his gaze, talk for a bit over something like choosing the best flower arrangements, and then hightail out of there, only to come home and be restless.

She was still very confused, because honestly, Tedros didn't seem bad at all. The more she talked to him, the least she wanted to stop talking to him. He definitely had some family issues and was doing some overcompensating, but nothing that made him, like, a total trash human.

And yet, he was still the guy who hit on her (fucking made out with her), knowing exactly who she was, while being engaged to her best friend.

She always thought herself a good judge of character.

Anyway, she did her best to act aloofly polite and if he ever seemed to hint at the night at The Woods, Agatha cut him off before he could. It was a good plan. Wait it out. And it really was working just fine.

Until the dress store.

For some reason she cannot wrap her head around, Tedros is there too.

(Isn't there a tradition against seeing the dress of your bride before the wedding or something?)

At some point, Sophie struggles to get into a particularly complicated dress at the dressing room, yelling at the poor employees like a harpy on a rampage and Agatha is about to intervene when he manages to pull her aside, his grip firm but with a certain gentleness that made her skin burn.

He semi-drags her across the store through a sea of sparkly white dresses and into this small nook between sections. Agatha does not want to admit that the main reason why he is able to do that is because she allows him to.

Things only go downhill from there.

He has her cornered, her back nearly merging with the wall as he stands close to her, his posture tense, moving slowly, like one would in presence of a startled animal. He doesn't look like he is trying to purposely intimidate her, and she doesn't feel particularly unsafe. No words are spoken between them and the silence allows Agatha's senses to pick up on a deliciously rich smell. Is that Tedros' cologne-

Agatha forces down the rash that is creeping up her neck and tries to focus on doing what she does best, aka, running away from her problems. She looks anywhere but his face, but he is not making ignoring him an easy job.

"I don't get you."

What.

"Excuse me?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

Agatha scoffs, arms crossing in front of her chest.

"I truly don't."

Her response seems to annoy him, which she counts as a win, but Agatha might have declared victory just a bit too soon. Tedros, who was a couple of feet away has managed to get way too close (yet again). His hand raises her chin and forces her to look into his eyes. Her resolution to run away falters and she's scared he might hear her heartbeat speed up.

"Playing dumb doesn't suit you, Agatha. One second you don't like me, then you do like me, then you don't again… I don't understand the game you're playing here… So, I'll make this simple, you won, congratulations, now stop playing games, now you know I'm interested."

Agatha blinks. This is… not the conversation she thought she was going to have.

Of course, during her nightly overthinking sessions she thought about what she'd say if he confronted her about the previous friday, even if she didn't think he'd have the balls to actually do it. But she seems to have been reduced to this dumpster fire nonsense. Tedros never did what she thought he was going to do and it was short-circuiting her braincells.

She's way too aware of the hold he has on her, the compromising situation they're in. One of his hands cages Agatha in, placed on the wall behind her head, while the other keeps her from adverting her gaze from his. Tedros is too close, he smells too good and his mouth looks too inviting.

She hears him, but she doesn't really hear him, his presence fogging up her senses.

Agatha briefly entertains the idea of giving into temptation and kissing him. How nice it would be to grab his collar, invert their positions, slam him against the wall and kiss him senseless, so he could feel just how helpless she felt having him corner her like this. Kiss him and just leave him there, wanting, begging, and…

What. Wow, fuck. Stop.

A new thought hits her like a ton bricks.

This guy is an asshole.

Tedros looks irritated and Agatha wants to punch him.

So she does.

She's strong enough to give him a black eye, but she (unintentionally, Agatha swears) holds backs and aims for his chest. However, she can tell it hurt a lot by the way his eyes water and he backs away several steps. She hears Sophie yelling their names across the store and giving Tedros one last glare, she turns around and walks away.

The nerve.

Why would anyone marry him?

Sophie needed a wakeup call. And fast. Because while Sophie could be a nightmare, she did not deserve to be played like that.

Agatha was not a superstitious person.

If she forgot her umbrella at home and it started raining when she left the dress shop (Tedros and Sophie both offered her a ride but she would rather choke, honestly, and said no, forgetting that she rode here with Sophie in the first place), it's not fate, it's bad luck. If she gets sick and loses her voice (and therefore can't go do neither her work or her bridesmaid duty), it's not conspiracy, it's simply a coincidence.

Well, call it fate, call it bad luck, call it conspiracy, call it coincidence. The case is that Agatha has lost her voice and has both a running nose and a fever. She considers texting the whole story to Sophie but changes her mind when she imagines the blonde woman's reaction.

Agatha, you're such a slut.

She is going to tell Sophie about this… this… this individual. Yeah, she was going to come clean and expose Tedros. No wedding.

Why was Tedros marrying Sophie anyway? She could understand why Sophie would go for Tedros. He did seem like her type. Young, rich, successful and handsome.

(Not really what she herself looked for. Agatha tended to go for witty, responsible people and who did not mind her blunt nature. Never in the history of ever, had Sophie and Agatha been interested on the same person.)

Anyway, he would give her lots of exposure, would look great on her Instagram feed, would be able to save her from her terrible apartment, student loan and infinite credit card debt, and would open up the world of fancy designer shoes and pretty gowns Sophie always dreamed of.

But why would he do that?

Tedros was, again, young, rich, successful and handsome. He hardly expressed any special affection towards Sophie or had the usual lovesick look most of Sophie's victims sported when they found themselves bewitched by her. They didn't really agree on much, from what Agatha gathered on their conversations, had no shared interests, lived completely different lifestyles, had different moral values and overall didn't seem to have the grandiose connection Sophie spoke of at all. Maybe he was with her because she was pretty? But again, why. There werw thousands of pretty girls willing to date young rich men, why Sophie in particular?

Something about this seemed off. She needs to talk to Sophie.

…When she recovered.

Alright, maybe it was conspiracy. The wedding was in two days.

Two days.

She supposes time does go by quickly when you're procrastinating something you really, really don't want to do. Nearly two weeks gone by in a flash. And, as she should, Agatha finally gets herself together. She is going to tell Sophie.

Well, she was going to tell Sophie. The blonde and a few of her friends were at The Woods for a last girl's night out. Meaning:

Sophie was currently drunk.

But maybe she wasn't?

She probably was though. Sophie was the most lightweight person Agatha knew, likely because she was so skinny. Girl could not hold her alcohol and drunk-Sophie was messy-Sophie. Unwilling, untamable and unimaginably difficult to have a coherent conversation with.

But, maybe she wasn't drunk? Agatha was not going to risk it.

She forces herself to hurry. She doesn't change out of her work outfit (merely discarding the suit's jacket), stopping by her house to feed Reaper and leave some important documents. Agatha even nearly forgets to lock her front door, calling a car to the club, hoping it might not be too late to come clean. But she was late anyway, as proven not only by the 15 bucks that left her wallet (for the second time this month) but by-

"Aggieeeee! You're better! Have you taaaasted this? It's amaziiiing!"

Agatha glares at Chaddick, who has the decency to look away. He knew the amount of alcohol Sophie was capable of processing, namely: none.

"Yeah, I have…"

"You should have seen, Sophie; the other night Agatha was so wasted she ma…"

"Chaddick, don't you have somewhere to be? As in, not here?"

The ex-jock walks away with a smirk, knowing he had some nice blackmailing material on her. Could this get any more horrible?

Now what? Should she just take Sophie home? Sober her up, tell her everything then beg for forgiveness? She couldn't. Then what to do, what to do…

"Sophie, I have to tell you something, it's really important, you see…"

"Oh Aggie, I'm sure you can tell me laaaaaatteerrrr! I've been so stressed lately! Time to let it goooo! Come on, I'll even pay your first drinkkkk!"

Her friend lifted a glass of what looked and smelled like a vodka and gin disaster waiting to happen.

"Sophie, what is even that?"

"Not sure…but Chaddick told me it was good."

Agatha sighs. She should tell the truth, right here, right now, shouldn't she?

"… Alright."

And she would have if she were a better person. But to her shame, she downs five more after the first and suddenly she can't remember why she came here on the first place. Something about a guy?

(Lies, Agatha knows exactly what she is doing, but for a few more hours she gives herself the benefit of the doubt.)

Whatever, she'll just deal with it later. She hasn't said anything for the past few days, surely it can wait some more, right?

Said and done, five hours later Agatha concludes she is a horrible human being. She should just quit. Leave the job of human being for people who will not mess up. Like Hester. Hester never messes up shit. Yeah, great plan.

Sophie is knocked out cold, sleeping with her face in a table, drooling, besides said Hester, who has her usual judgy face on, glaring at the blonde woman, like she was some kind of disgusting creature.

Agatha doesn't think she could feel worse.

She should have just told Sophie the truth right away. The moment she found out Tedros was, well, Tedros. Instead she had gone along with a wedding that was sure to be a fiasco, because not only was the groom a liar and a player, but Agatha was therefore his accomplice, and her silence was probably the greatest betrayal of their entire friendship.

She picks up her phone to call a car, so she could at the very least wallow in misery at home, but before the app even loads someone snatches her phone.

Turns out she can indeed feel worse.

"We need to talk."

His voice sounds as it always does whenever she's around, half-annoyed and half-something else Agatha doesn't dare name. As usual, he looks nice. His tight shirt and tie are still in perfect place, unlike the last time she saw him here, signaling he too probably came straight from work.

"This is girl's night; you're not allowed here."

"Oh, I'm not?" Tedros mocks her, but she can tell his heart isn't truly in it. "Then please do tell me the circumstances in which I can talk to you, because you sure don't make it easy."

She is so tired. Trying to avoid him is hard enough, trying to avoid him knowing that she doesn't really want to is impossible. She has always read people so well, and he always seems so genuine. It makes her wanna believe he is not the bad person she knows he is.

"…I've been… avoiding you. It's not that I don't want to talk to you. Is just… that I shouldn't," she hesitates but ends up answering honestly.

Tedros' expression softens at her candor, peering at her with concern.

"Are you drunk?"

"No. Maybe."

He sighs, then digs his car keys from his pocket, still holding her phone hostage on his other hand.

"Look, I'll give you a ride home. I really just wanna talk. We have…unfinished business."

Agatha considers. All this wedding-baloney made her poor, Tedros is so pretty, he looks so wholesome and honest, and she just wants to sulk at home for the next few hours. Maybe he could stay for a day or two. That shirt of his would look great on her floor…

No, bad idea.

"I don't wanna get into a stranger's car," she blurts out the first excuse her mind can manage. In retrospect, that was some obvious bullshit, seeing as they had talked for hours last week and he had already given her a ride before. Granted, it had been Sophie's car and Sophie had been there, but still, that didn't make much sense.

"Oh truly?" he holds up her phone, the ride app now open, "You're gonna pull that one on me?"

It's Agatha's turn to sigh.

"Okay don't go using logic on me, mister. For all I know, you could be planning on kidnapping me and selling my organs on the black market," or worse, actually talking to her.

"Can never be too careful, can we?" he looks partly amused and partly annoyed. "Look, I'm serious here, okay? I'm not going to do anything to you, we can talk to Hester on our way out, I'm sure she'll hunt me and string me up upside down at her soundproofed basement in case I even dream of harming you. Alright?" Tedros's eyes never leave her face in the twenty seconds she takes to decide, and it's really distracting, but she manages to answer:

"Okay, fine."

They talk to Hester, rather, Tedros talks to Hester while Agatha avoids her gaze shamefully. Why does Tedros know Hester? Did they ever talk during school?

Agatha doesn't know and she doesn't ask. Her gaze lingers on Sophie's drooling face and she feels her chest tighten.

The two of them walk into the parking lot awkwardly, in mortifying silence, and enter a silver Porsche. Agatha notes that it looks very out of place, since most cars belonged to employees and looked rather humble next to the silver beauty. Why was Tedros here? He came in his car, so he was not here to drink. Did Sophie tell him to pick her up? Or was he here to see Agatha?

Her heart skips at beat at the thought and she doesn't ask him any of this either.

"Nice ride," she offers instead.

"Thanks."

Tedros drives in silence, with Agatha occasionally telling him to turn on certain streets. She keeps her gaze on the empty roads, but she does catch quite a stunning sight of his profile when she forgets she's not supposed to look at him at all.

To avoid getting too in her head, she decides to turn on the radio. The song that starts playing is familiar and she guesses the radio must be on CD mode. The letters in bold red on the visor tell her she is correct, and this is indeed the song she thinks it is.

"You're into this kind of stuff?"

Tedros grips the wheel, almost defensively.

"They're really good, okay? I've been listening to them for a few years and so far, they're my favorite band. I know their sound isn't for everyone and-"

"I know."

"…It's not what most mainstream artists are doi- you what?"

Agatha blushes when she feels his incredulous gaze on her face, and it occurs her that this is the first time he looks directly at her since they got into his car. She hopes he'll attribute the redness on her cheeks to the red light they're currently stuck at and hesitates before answering, in a quiet voice, meeting his stare:

"They're my favorite band too."

"Oh."

The rest of the drive is less awkward, one would even say comfortable if not for the leftover tension. They sing along quietly to the vocalist and Agatha is sure Tedros stopped himself from doing the guitar once. Not cute, not cute, not cute.

Eventually, they get to her apartment building. She reaches over and turns off the radio, the deafening silence almost too much to bear.

Agatha tries reaching for the car door, but it's locked.

"I did tell you we needed to talk."

Usually, she'd be scared if a guy trapped her in his car in the middle of the night, but Agatha's frustration just comes back at full force and topples over anything else.

"What's to talk, you're clearly into someone else."

Tedros' eyes go big, and Agatha can't help but think he must be the world's greatest actor. Oscar nomination performance. The academy is shook-

"What? Did you, like, not hear anything I sa-"

"I'm not that kind of girl, Tedros," Agatha interrupts him firmly, "I don't hook up with anyone who's in a relationship, especially in a relationship with my best friend, no matter how stupidly short said relationship may be."

"I… Did Sophie tell you-"

"She didn't need to? You guys are engaged, and I am not going to get caught in between, okay? Please, please leave me alone. Don't talk to me. Don't look at me. Don't give me rides when I'm drunk."

Suddenly, Tedros' confused expression is gone and his eyes are gleaming with what looks like joy. He looks like he might kiss her and Agatha is not sure how well her defenses will hold in case he does.

"Agatha, I think you got this all wrong, I'm not-"

"What, you have amnesia? Or, let me guess, it's your twin brother who's engaged to her?"

Tedros burst out laughing and he sounds like an angel, throwing his head back, and Agatha forgets for a second that she's mad at him. But eventually reality brings her back and she pushes him, with just enough force to get his attention.

"Leave me the fuck alone, dude."

…Asshole.

This time when she reaches for the door, it's unlocked.

She glares at him from the sidewalk one more time, before entering the building.

Agatha doesn't hear a word from him after that.

It's for the best, she tells herself. Agatha spent so much time wishing he would just go away and take these weird feelings he gives her with him that she didn't even consider that once he did go away for real, new, stronger, and even more angsty feelings would appear. She only knew him for two weeks. He wasn't even hers. She has no grieving rights.

She goes out with Sophie one more time, and now it's just the two of them. It would be the perfect time to tell her. She has no excuses. No drinking, no sickness, no Tedros-

Agatha doesn't.

Today is the day.

It's a clear summer night, which is unfair with how angsty and conflicted Agatha feels. Hollywood lied to us all, hasn't it?

Agatha is dressed in a silky blue dress Sophie chose for her. It suits her and she thinks she looks quite pretty. Someone who actually knew what they were doing did her make-up, and for once she managed to tame her hair into submission, putting it into a fancy-looking up-do youtube taught her how to do. She's wearing her best shoes and her fanciest earrings. Agatha is looking and smelling like a daydream outside the main room of the church, but her hands are shaking and she's terrified.

She's not ready. Far from it really.

The rules were simple. If you're not the bride you don't wear white, you don't overdrink, and you never, ever, under any circumstances, fall in love with the groom.

No matter if they were hot, if they smelled good, if their eyes made you feel weak at the knees, if they shared common interests with you, if their taste was impossible to forget, if they went out of their way to get your attention or if they felt like they just might be the one.

You just didn't okay?

Shit, this was messed up. Still, Agatha brought herself to breathe deeply, trying to contain her anxiety.

The ceremonialist tells her it's her cue and she's soon walking down the aisle, clutching a small bouquet of pink carnations like a lifeline, looking around the church.

The place is crowded. Their entire social circle and their grandmother seem to be here. People from their childhood neighborhood, people from school, both of Sophie's parents, her stepmother and step siblings, quite a few models and influencers and a bunch of people she had never seen, probably Tedros' friends, family and co-workers.

The flowers and decorations look as amazing and beautiful as she would have expected from Sophie and she might have seen Hester, Anadil and Dot on a row somewhere, but that's not what made her almost freeze, nearly stumbling on the red carpet.

The groom.

He's wearing an expensive-looking white tuxedo, his hair is an unnatural platinum blonde and his eyes are disturbingly intense. He's tall, sharp and everything about him screams fancy. He's attractive in the way some snakes are attractive, beautiful and deadly, but the big deal is:

Agatha has never seen that man in her entire life.

She goes to her spot standing by the side, her brain running a marathon, tons of data just being tossed aimlessly on her mind as she tries to wrap her head around what the actual fuck is going on when her eyes meet someone else's.

Seating on the third row on the left, Tedros' blue eyes are shinning in complete and absolute amusement, his hand is over his mouth in a barely controlled laugh. The music seems to be on his side, because no one hears him. Agatha schools her expression into anything other than the overbearing wrath she feels, but she's not sure if she's doing a good job.

She's somewhat aware of the chaos that seems to be unfolding around her; the ceremonialist's screeching, the groom's rage, the crowd's confused mumbling and Sophie's absence. But it does not matter.

Agatha really wants to choke Tedros with his tie.

Turns out, Sophie's groom was named Rafal. Not that Agatha would remember his name a few days from now.

He is the current CEO of Two Brothers, a huge company, often associated with the mafia for fucks sake. Known playboy and womanizer, with a criminal record for drug dealing, as well as physical and sexual assault. Also, partially involved on the illegal leaks of information that caused the media scandal around Tedros' parents' divorce all those years ago, she later learns.

Great guy, Sophie. 10/10. Husband material right there.

At least she didn't follow through, Agatha argues to try and calm herself down. Oh yeah, Sophie ran away from her own wedding. No one was surprised honestly. Maybe Rafal. He looked very, very angry. Agatha didn't really blame him, after knowing that he was the one paying for the wedding, after party and honeymoon, no matter how horrible of a person he seems to be.

By now, Sophie should be in Paris, enjoying her honeymoon tickets and reservations. Through text, she tells Agatha how lonely and sad she is and how she'll tell her everything that happened in complete details on their next café meeting in a about month and a half. Agatha suspects she is not as lonely as she claims to be because Hort's Instagram stories tell her he is currently in Europe as well, if not in Paris. But then again, she will not concern herself over this matter. "No wedding" was good news enough to keep her in a great mood for any of Sophie's shenanigans for the next following weeks.

And since the reception was already paid for, everyone just decided to come enjoy it.

Yes, when she says everyone, she means everyone.

"Hey, you."

Oh, Lord, no.

Agatha doesn't lift her head to look at him, continuing to type a half-assed reply to Sophie's whiny texts. She won't give him the satisfaction. Instead she downs whatever is left of her whisky, because that's what one does when courage lacks.

She's sitting at the main table of the ballroom, by herself, mostly because it's where she's been assigned to sit, but also because she's not up for the questions the other guests will probably feel entitled to ask if she were to sit with them. Hester is nowhere in sight, but Agatha is sure she's making herself scarce on purpose. She saw Chaddick back at the church but they politely ignored each other and Dot had been missing for quite a while.

"Not speaking to me?"

"No."

"Come on, it was pretty funny."

"No, it wasn't," she finally looks up at him and he must have sensed true resentment in her perfectly lined brown eyes, because his smug, perfect façade crumbled, and he looked very awkward suddenly. Tedros pulls up the chair beside her and she notices it has his name on it. Sophie was not being subtle on her matchmaking at all, was she?

God, Agatha was so dumb.

"Well, it wasn't very funny to me either then, but I do laugh quite a bit now," he offers, sipping on champagne, trying to keep busy.

"I'm glad my pain amuses you," she's quiet for few seconds, considering what she's going to say. "Tedros?"

"Yeah?" he looks up from his flute of champagne, hopeful blue eyes shining in the half light of the candlelit ballroom and keeping her from saying what she was actually going to say, so instead she blurts:

"I'm not sorry for punching you."

"I didn't expect you to be," his smile is friendly and contagious. He downs the last of his champagne and extends a hand to her. "Okay, let's start again. I'm Tedros, I'm so single it hurts, and when we were in high school, I had a crush on you."

The way he says this so openly, his voice so even and clear nearly drowns out the vulnerable look on his face. Agatha herself can barely register his expression because she's pretty sure her brain has short-circuited. Again.

"No, you did not."

"But I did."

Tedros proceeds to tell her all sorts of things.

He tells her about how he first saw her as a rival because of her grades (she never really paid any attention to the scoreboard, she thought it was bullshit, but in retrospect she does remembers his name was always under hers), and about how sorry he was that he laughed and partook at Chaddick's antics during junior year, mostly because he the felt like 'the new guy with a big name and no friends' and felt she was a threat.

"That's some real introspection and self-awareness right there, hm"

"I'm just fortunate enough to have had a really good therapist," Tedros responds, "Merlin is like a psychology-wizard. He was the one who kinda sorted out that maybe part of my teen angst was repressed attraction to someone who fed the cats behind the library"

"Oh, then you've been my stalker for quite some time then."

Tedros blushes and Agatha is both flattered and embarrassed at the same time.

He then explains about how shit blew up on his face during his parents' divorce, how his grades dropped, how he got kicked out of the football team and how he started to spend a long ass time sulking at the library. Which just so happened to be Agatha's favorite hangout spot at the time. Tedros tells her how he thought she was cute, how she was one of the people who hadn't changed with him (even if unintentionally) and how he wanted to get to know her.

What.

"I just… wasn't sure how to approach you? I always dragged Chaddick to your tea shop when I didn't see you at the library but then chickened out and-"

"...I take neither of you were huge tea fans?"

"Yeah?"

"That does explain a lot," Agatha mumbles.

"I was going to talk to you about Avalon when I heard you were going there, but… Since you didn't tell me that, I kinda found out when Chaddick took your math notebook to be my 'wingman', I didn't think you would have…appreciated.

"Wait, that was Chaddick playing your wingman?" Agatha burst out laughing.

"The plan was that I was supposed to casually hand back to you something you forgot, but he kinda grew tired of waiting for you to actually forget something," Tedros chuckled. "If you thought Chaddick was bad then what big word is Miss-best-in-class going to use to describe Sophie's take on playing wingwoman?"

"Horrendous," Agatha deadpans and now it's Tedros turn to laugh.

Silence sits between the two. It's not uncomfortable and kinda welcome. Agatha digests the last forty minutes of enlighting conversation as they eat the main course of the night. A waiter comes to pick up both of their plates and she decides she still has some questions.

"Well, do you still do?"

"Do I still what?" Tedros questions, his head slightly inclined, like a confused puppy.

"Have a crush on me," Agatha mumbles, her cheeks burning.

Tedros' expression goes from 'confused' back to that mischievous look he had back at the church, leaning towards her ever so slightly.

"Maybe."

"Good," she offers her hand, as he had before, "I'm Agatha, I jump to conclusions, but I am very interested in getting to know you."

Tedros however, doesn't shake her hand as she had his. Instead, he takes it to his lips, pressing a light kiss to her knuckles, relishing in the shocked look on her face before she can school her expression back to unaffected aloofness.

"Are you free at six next friday?"

"Late meeting, but I'm good at seven. Pick me up?" she asks, an unspoken challenge laced in her words.

"As the lady wishes." Challenge accepted. "Any preferences?"

"Anywhere but 'The Woods'. But make sure to text me first if it's somewhere fancy," she smiles. "You know what? I still don't have your number."

Tedros confidently stands up, his hand yet to release hers.

"A number for a dance?"

Agatha told him that night at 'The Woods' that she isn't a very good dancer but again, he insists. It's fine, because they don't dance for long anyway. By the time Tedros gives up, fumbling with his phone to call a car, his hair is already a mess, Agatha's broke free from her up-do and there is lipstick everywhere.

I'm not sorry This was so much fun to revisit. I forgot how fun SGE was. I kinda fell out of touch with the series. I did read QFG, I just can't remember what happens in it? Idk. I felt the series should have concluded on TLEA. If possible before the whole Agatha and Sophie baloney stunt, because I never bought that. Please leave me comment and share your thoughts with me! Hope you are all safe during this quarantine, friends

#Tagatha #tagathashipweek2016 #rewrite #agatha sge #Agatha of Woods Beyond #tedros sge #tedros of camelot #sophie sge #sge #The School for Good and Evil

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