#(also i cant comment or ask anything in general even with this blog so. fuck me ig lmao)
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psssttttt...
hey fellas
idk if you know this but i have a main blog....
if you wanna see the guy behind the art but when hes rabid insane and crazy, follow me at @heyitstyyy
#i'm just gonna be real here im mainly making this post because#a. i think my main blog has been. shadowbanned like.#it doesn't show up in the searches or anything for posts i made#which is why i made an art blog in the first place#(also i cant comment or ask anything in general even with this blog so. fuck me ig lmao)#and b. i noticed i got an influx of sonic fans bc of my funny fixation#and i posted a rant and i.... just wanna know if the sonic movies are good man lmao#and c. im bored#so uh#yeah#get over there beasts#strawberritext#heyitstyyy
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Ive been noticing an increase amount of Dreamtwt refugees, and let me preface with saying: Welcome!!! Genuinely, we lovingly welcome you to this happy lil community.
That being said, Tumblr is confusing, between the big etiquette book and the interface that hasn’t changed since 2008 there is a lot to learn.
So this is my little attempt to a welcome guide tailored to our lil dream community! Feel free to add your own recommendations and stuff.
Tumblr is a Blogging site, a goog ol relic from ye olden days, your ‘profile’ is your blog, and you can put anything you like on there! However, please do change your avatar and background, we have a massive bot issue here and we tend to auto block someone with a standard avatar.
The main tags for the dream team are as follows:
- just their entire usernames, but, those do get hooped up in controversy from time to time.
-Dreamblr for the content creator dream
-Dreblr, for C!Dream
-404blr for CC George
-pandasblr for CC Sapnap
-Dtblr for the Dream team
PLEASE REFRAIN FROM USING: #Dream, that’s for people actually posting about their dreams, and #myct as it is mostly used for general MYCT stuff, we prefer to stick to our own spaces.
‘how do I find people?’ you go to any of these tags, find someone you vibe with and click ‘follow’. The algorithm here sucks, and we don’t advice the ‘for you’ page.
On that note, the ‘like’ button is useless, use reblog instead! If you like someone’s hot take, art or stupid shit post, REBLOG. Its how we keep our fandom alive and active here :D
When you reblog you usually keep your comments in the tags, one only really uses the comment section when they DON’T want to reblog. (usually because of le discourse).
Send people asks! People love to chit chat, you can do it anonymously! Tell that one artist youd love to have their brain for lunch! Engage with everyone! We love discussion and open communication here. (prob since there is no real word limit to posts)
Tumblr has developed a nice ‘block liberally, no need to make a fus’ culture. You can block someone for any reason, and it really isn’t a big deal.
On the Tumblr is more relaxed note, we tend to be more relaxed on CC boundaries, since most CC’s do not use twitter. If you don’t like people breaking CC boundaries, even in places where they cant see it, follow the advice above and blockkkkk!!!
Please spell out words! Don’t censor triggering words at it can fuck with people’s filter settings, by censoring these words you put people in more risk.
Now for some technical advice:
Most tumblrina’s turn on ‘hide likes and follower count’ . Any blog can have 4 people following it or 4000, we like to keep it mysterious.
Also turn of ‘best content first’- once again, the algorithm is not to be trusted.
Furthermore, you can really personalize your Tumblr experience and please do! Under ‘account’ you can find many options to filter the content you see, make use of it, for your mental health sake.
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NightcoreReality
Nightcore - Wonderland
A: Anyone else feel like making a story based on the picture and song?
B: Now that you mention it.....yeah I do
C: One step ahead of ya bro~ writes fan fiction on wattpad ah aha~
D: Steam-punk alice in wonderland maybe?
A: I was thinking, maybe a futuristic love story where fairy tales are outdated and not even children are fooled by them. But, a girl starts to doubt it when she finds herself in a relationship that seems like a fairy tale. Doesn't have much to do with Alice in Wonderland, but it seems to fit the lyrics to me.
E: @A i would watch it.
F: @E that... Sounds pretty cool. And your grammar was pretty good, just need to put commas here and there. :)
E: or something like:
a dystopian society where the governement tries to control everyone by creating illusional "fairy tale" character thru media. In this a girl begins to start questioning the way the people are made mediafocussed when she becomes involved in a war between humans and alien, who dress like fairy tale characters. and because of this, it becomes clear that the governement is lead by aliens who make use of humans by pretending they have a good life because of the fairy tale stuff and so on. and then they start to fight. with action. and explosions. and a protagonist who starts as a little weak character who becomes a lead person in the human resistance force. Does this sound good?
And sry if i did big grammar mistakes. It's late as fuck here and it is not my native language. Gomen! ;_;
E: @F tyu :3
A: @F Much better than anything that I could come up with! :)
E: k, i will start writing... x3 <3
G: Am i the only one that thought jadas idea was way more refined? Like guys I dont wanna hate on Mirror but his story idea seems like a generic dystopian. Jadas idea would be great. As the story progresses she could use the past stories to help her get through trials as most fairy tales have some moral to take away from.
H: Anyone here heard of alice is dead? Here's the link to the game: www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/511552
I: @H HOW DO I WIN?! I HAVE NO IDEA
J: my story for this might be a bit too crazy but here is what i am thinking oh and i cant spell well so good luck in reading my idea
The girl is actualy an artuficial intelligence seand through a teleport to see if it works but the teleport malfunctions and instead of sending her to where she was ment to be sends her in a dimension much like ours but in it our fairy tails are real and she also gets free will letting her be more then just a machine.
for now this is what i came up with you tell if its good or not
NCA note: @K’s comment is lost.
A: @K
Wow! This actually was really good! I may just be biased, but I can't really find anything to criticize. The rationality pill was actually a good excuse, considering I couldn't come up with a better one. I actually almost laughed when she asks who Fairy Tales was! Overall, it was very good for a whole short story made from a vague concept! I'd definitely want to read a whole book based on it.
A: I'm so happy this escalated to almost being a real thing! Inspiring whole short stories with only a simple starting concept... this is too much power for one girl.
L: What about chapter storys?
M: @A My idea is this, sorry if it's sucky guys: In a world not so fond of fairytales, metaphors, and things along that line, a girl still enjoys reading all the greek mythology and fictional stories. But this girl suffers a severe disorder that causes her to see things nobody else sees. One late afternoon, cozyied up in her broken down house, something catches her attention. She's not the only one seeing the world differently. Desperate and curios to spread her new finding, she starts a blog on what she's experienced with this... disorder. The government (corperation thing, ect) sees what she's doing. Captured mid afternoon of a humid saterday, The president of the united states is controling the world to make them see it differently, or what we call regualarly. But this different world, this facinating world that this girl sees is the real world. Scared, fearful, and desperate to tell the community, she tries to escape the hellhole of the place. Seeking a way out, she is pulled farther and farther into her disorder, which happened not to be a disorder. The disorder fully kicks in. In a world of upside down houses and a large variety of talking objects, she tries to find her way out of the imagenary world. When a portal is found, she finds the connection of the real world and fake. Being the creative girl she was, she made a device that made her able to switch from the real world and the fake world. Jumping portals with a portal backpack and devieces over her body, she finds love that seems much like the ones out of the book. Trying to convince people they were living in a fake world while wearing something that made her look like a nerd going to comicon, but she finds people who belive her. One of them catches her eye. Her fairytale boy. Her beast. Her prince charming. Her new life of making people belive the truth of the world also brings her closer to her new group of friends, and that one boy (or girl, I don't judge, lol). Her belivers expand and expand. Her fight against the whole united states and the president himself will be hard, but only the greatest heroes can stop this brainwashing crisis all together. An action packed adventure full of magic and action, love and angst, and a thrilling plot that will leave you drooling for more. There we go, my idea
E: @M i fucking love it already. Its like a mix out of Matrix and spirited away. would definitely watch it! <3
M: @E dude, maybe Me, you, and @A should like mix all of are plots together and make this an actual book or movie, I have lots of experience in writing!
E: @M well...i...have none... :-( Thats why this text sounded so nice in my head!
A: I'm okay at writing, I don't claim to be an expert, but I can pump out an improvised 2,000+ chapter of something in a few hours. But, your ideas fantastic, and the most detailed I've seen so far! I really want to be a part of it!
E: @A Thank you for this compliment man! Maybe i could write too, but my english is way too bad to write something that can create emotions while reading as much as e.g. Dosish's one... Lets just all write in german and its k. x)
A: I'm warning everyone now, my writing(especially when I was younger) tends to be filled with purple prose. It's at it's worst during emotional scenes.
N: @A what do u mean purple prose?
M: @A dude, with all of are skills together, this could really make a good book!
A: @N It's when someone goes overboard on descriptions of something. Using unnecessarily long and fancy words to describe something that should only take one sentence to explain.
For example: It was a dark and stormy night.
Purple Prose version: The moon was nowhere in sight, it's vivid light hidden behind thick, gigantic, charcoal clouds. The stars themselves were invisible, leaving the night sky a particularly dark shade of obsidian. A burst of electricity dashed through the sky, leaving a flash of pure, bright white light in it's wake. Transparent drops of water rained down from the obscuring storm clouds. Falling upon whoever was unfortunate enough to be under it.
(Sorry if I made your brain hurt with that eye sore. XD)
M: @A Oh, and I started a graphic organizer, tell me when you want to see it
A: I’ll love to see it!
N: and the Purple Prose is nice idk why anyone would consider it bad
@A dude I say you 3 write the story, @M does the graphics and ill edit. it could be a summer project lol
A: Quick update on the story: I'm brainstorming about it, and thinking back at @K's version, I like the idea of her being in a relationship with another girl. Although, the song implies that she's talking to a boy. I don't want to make it a big deal, so there won't be a subplot like, everyone's against their same sex love. It's the future after all. I also might consider the idea of everyone being under "rationality pills" which would explain why fairy tales are now non-sense to them. Any suggestions? I want everyone to get in on this!
A: @N
Late reply, but Purple prose isn't bad in moderation. It just takes too long to get to the point, and new readers won't have the patience to sit through it. But, that's a great idea!
K: The wonderful part of the story is how open the world is, if you want to totally lift the world and themes go nuts. You can even use the chars, though having the Alice I created go through the same thing twice is kinda weird. And no one is "Against " same sex, it just doesn't benefit people since love is non-existent. Therefor Ration blocks feeling like that out.
O: I'd seriously love to read this story when its done
M: Well I mean, I have lots of freetime on my hands, maybe I can write the base or the first chapter and people edit it.
N: @M sounds good, books by many authors are normally good
M: (Link to chapter 1)
NCA note: The above comment has been lost. Despite this I still have the Google Doc saved in my “shared with me”. Here’s a link to my copy of it: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sCmU3OLcdyLttvh90apoL2HzU2MesxWFBJK7D3Bg43w/edit?usp=sharing.
P: @M impressive…
Q: fyi, just search Electric Lolita City on google The picture is by John Hathaway
Final NCA notes:
Comments in thread: 107
Comments shown here: 40
There were a solid six months between the original comment and the final comment from one of the user's willing to participate in multiauthor story. It's currently unknown if anything ever came of A, M, and N's ambition.
Also, let me know if this is a good format to post large comment threads in, or any improvements I can make :P
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Golden Girl (2/2)
Gif Credit: @angelreyess
Pairing: Angel Reyes x Female Reader
Word Count: 580
Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, cursing, unprotected sex, some light chocking, mention of bodily fluids
Request by @pipsqueakkitten Well it’s kinda like a mini drabble to Golden Girl lol umm it’s where Angel decides because the reader said that his sex is her favorite that they need to have some right then so he picks her up and runs to EZ’s trailer to get it on 😂 and smut then ensues after some giggling and right before Angel is about to finish EZ walks in not thinking anything of it and freaks out and Angel gives him shit for walking in right before he finishes lol and then when EZ leaves they begin where they left off 🙈
A/N: this fic can be paired with the first part of Golden Girl but can also be read as a standalone fic! Hope you enjoy <3
Part. 1
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GROUP CHAT for updates!
•• Main Masterlist •• Angel Masterlist ••
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“So sex with me is pretty great?” Angel asked you.
“Really, Angel? After that whole speech, that is the one thing you take from it.”
He looked at you for a second, his head tilted before he picked you up and put you over his shoulder. The speed at which he did it made you emit a loud squeal.
“Angel, oh my god, what are you doing.” “Let’s go have some right now.” “Wait, what? Now?” “Yes now,” his hand left a smack on your ass. “And where the fuck do you want to do it? Out in the open?” “I know a place.”
You almost forgot where you were as Angel’s length penetrated you again and again on the bed in EZ’s trailer. The movement of his hips made you see stars as your nails raked down his tattooed back from pleasure.
Faint moans and whimpers from both of you filled the small space as you both rushed to reach your climax.
“Don’t stop Angel… please,” you pleaded in the faintest of whispers.
“I won’t. I promise.”
You wrapped your legs around him to push him deeper inside, making you climb that more closer to the end.
He circled his hand around your throat, depriving you of some oxygen which made your head spin and gave you that extra nudge to make you come faster.
“Are you close, baby?” His voice deep in your ear.
“Yes... please, Angel, fill me up. I need to feel you.”
He concentrated on your pleading words as his hips never lost their rhythm fucking you.
Just as you were about to reach the end together, the door of the trailer flew open with EZ walking in.
“Dude, what the fuck!” EZ screamed as he witnessed what was happening. Angel’s ass on full display, and he knew he would be scarred for life. He put his hand over his eyes, trying mentally to burn out the image that was imprinted in his brain.
“Bro, why the fuck did you walk in?” Angel yelled in the same tone EZ did as he tried to cover you and him with a blanket.
“Angel, I fucking live here! The question is, why the fuck are you two fucking in MY trailer?”
This was so embarrassing for you. You had just meet EZ, and now you were fucking in his trailer.
“We just nee-“ “You know what, I don’t even care. I’m going to pops for the night.” The trailer door was slammed shut, and you hear him say “gross” as he walked away.
You were just lying there, shocked about the situation, but also it was no surprise. You were, after all, fucking in HIS trailer. So the chances of EZ walking in was big, but right at the moment, while Angel was making you feel so good, you forgot where you even were.
“You aren’t so much of a golden girl anymore, huh? Letting me fuck you in my brother's trailer.”
You punched him in his arm, which made him fake out an “ouch.” “Asshole, this was your idea. EZ hates me now. I just got to know him, and now he hates me.”
“Nah, he’ll come around.”
Both of you laid in silence for a while as you looked up at the ceiling.
Angel was the first to break it. “Do you want to continue, or is the mood gone?”
“Since we are already here, I don’t see why not.”
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Thank you for reading❤️ a quick reblog and feedback would be so appreciated❤️
GENERAL TAGLIST: @everyhowlmarksthedead @-im-fantastic- @idorkish @megantelford @witching-hour @rosieposie0624 @jessprins13 @skyofficialxx @glamourglambert @jasminee97 @starrynite7114 @gemini0410 @rocketqueen @mack-jay @megapeacelovemusic-blog @weasleytwins-41 @achievement-hunters-blog54 @taurean-brat @multifandom.girlie @anythingandeverything97 @spookyboogyuniverse @armiehammersleftsock @sariche
MAYANS MC TAGLIST: @blessedboo @60shannon @bellisperennis0 @capnsaveahoe @diaryofkali @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @xvvalx @missswritings @theocatkov @pinguinstudiert @chibsytelford @encounterthepast @rawrlittlepanda-95 @beeroses @siriussnape07 @adaydreamaway08 @miss-nori85 @oldstuffnewstuff @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful @jatriciaaa @browneyes9125 @cole-winchester @blackksunflower12 @phoenixhalliwell @cant-decide-at-this-moment @love-mesome-me @holl2712 @jennisdirtyimagines @balladbloodwrites @lilacyennefer @smallflower16 @marvelmaree
#mayans mc#mayans mc x reader#mayans mc smut#mayans mc fandom#mayans mc fanfic#mayans mc fx#mayans x reader#mayans smut#mayans fandom#mayans fanfic#mayans fx#angel reyes#angel reyes x reader#angel reyes smut#angel reyes fanfiction#angel reyes fanfic#angel reyes fic#angel reyes drabble#clayton cardenas#mayanssauce writes
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hi there, if this question makes you uncomfortable or is rude please tell me and i am so so sorry, i really am not educated on etiquette for this kind of stuff so i hope this isn’t a bad question! i was just wondering if all of your alters share memories or if they’re pretty separated? i know some people have to keep notes because they don’t share memories between alters. also, can you easily communicate with any of your alters even when they’re not fronting? love your art and blog!! :)
that is a rlly heavy question but im ok with answering! tthis is gonna be a long post im sorry ! uhh both!
we have shared memories and seperate memories, we all have a general idea of what goes on but specific memories are hard for some of us to remember. like umm its kinda like my life is divided into parts, i can remember certain milestones but entire periods of time and certain times in my life i just cant remember. like i have the memory of a specific day in junior year but if u asked me anything else from that year i wouldnt be able to tell you, stevie has those memories and i cant access them unless he told me something. blocked memories are because someone else was fronting a lot at that time or as a trauma response. our communication kinda fucking sucks! its called "losing time" (well we call it that) where ill be doing something and then switch without realizing and suddenly im back 6 hours later with a vague sense of what happened, i mainly just pick up what happened from what's around me (like is my homework done? that plate on the table means i ate, stuff like that) we do write in our notes and most of the time someone will catch me up on things, i have good communication with only around 6 other alters everyone else is like "hey __ can you please tell ___ --" because i cant get to them directly. we can communicate by co-hosting!! thats when multiple alters are like semi in control or like one person is and others are commenting/talking to them.
#sorry this is so long its just a LOT to talk about i hope this makes sense#long post#asks#eating mention
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How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr
What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^
Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))
What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.
Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.
What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.
What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….
Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)
Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.
Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).
Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.
Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.
Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”
so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D
- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]
- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd
- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho
- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333
- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!
- gotta love tsukishima <3
- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)
- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw
- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more
- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too
so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333
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ASKS
hey babies! i’ve decided to answer the asks about back to life one and two like this because ive received so so so many and you guys blew me away so answering every single one of them is the least i can do to show you guys just how grateful i am. thank you so much for giving both parts SO much love, i love and appreciate you guys and the support you’re constantly sending my way with my whole entire heart <33
BYE THE FIC IS SO GOOD SO FAR. MY ANXIETY THO FROM THE ENDING, LIKE PLS KYO REALIZE THE MCS ANXIETY PLS DONT GO OUT WITH SORA PLEASE PLEASE HE SEEN HOW SHE DIDNT LOOK OKAY WHEN HE CAME IN PLEASE REALIZE HER ANXIETY PLEASE
– THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !! this was the very first ask about back to life and it’s honestly the cutest thing ever! I hc Kyoutani to be rally understanding of things like anxiety and depression, generally mental health so that’s why it was easy for him to understand the reader’s situation and mindset!
BACK TO LIFE!!!!!!!! MY HEART!!!!!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO GOOD!!!!! i was really excited when you started posting about it!! i can't wait for part 2, i wanna know how they fix this!
AAAH !! thank you so much for the love and support baby!!!! I really hope you enjoyed part 2 just as much, sending you lots of smooches MWAH
OH MY GOD THE KYO FIC IS AMAZING
THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!!!
OH MY GOD YOUR KYOUTANI FIC HAS ME ACTUALLY FROTHING I LOVE IT SM
IM NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY THAT MY JAW ACTUALLY DROPPED AT THE LAST COUPLE PARAGRAPHS AS WELL I CANT WAIT FOR PART 2
AAAH YOU GUYS !!! this made me so happy !!! thank you so much and I hope part two met your expectations and you enjoyed the ending MWAH!!
HOLY FUCK THAT KYOUTANI FIC WHEW IT WAS SO SO GOOD IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 2
thank you for the food <33
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT BABY !!!
YOUR KYOTANI FIC AHHHHHHH my heart can’t handle this
I AM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT BABY !!!
OW THE END ON BACK TO LIFE HURTED THOUGH GDFGHJDFHJRY
Was overwhelmed by the hurty that I forgot to say how much I ADORE your characterization of Kyoutani. fdjkhgjkgdr
THANK YOU SO MUCH !! honestly- that means the world to me, probably the best compliment you can give me :((
Back to life was so good OMG 😳😳 HELLO??? You're amazing
Thank you so much, my love! it honestly is everything to me when you guys tell me such sweet things I love you so much MWAH!!
the new fic did not help me with my insecurities now i’m just frustrated and insecure. great writing tho.
honestly- same. when I wrote this, I lit indulgent every bit of my mind working into this fic and thats why it means so much to me ?? so youre not alone, my love; but thank you so much <33
The way I panicked at the end of the fic thinking there wasn’t gonna be more to it, holy shi that fox was so good I almost cried thinking they were just gonna end things like that 🥺🥺🥺🥺
I’d NEVER end a fic like that- I hate bad endings and cannot stand cliffhangers but the formatting didn't give me another choice im sorry for the heart attack baby kfhflashsj but am glad you liked it!
@au-roraaa said: ZADE I WAS NEVER A KYO FUCKER BUT I THINK YOUVE CONVERTED ME HOLY FUCKSJFJSJDJSN
THIS IS MY JOB AT THIS POINT I WANT YOU ALL TO TURN INTO KYOU FUCKERS KSSSOH
UR THE BEST WRITER WTF?? WHEN DO U THINK PART TWO WOULD BE UP... and does kyoutani flirt with sora 😣💔
YOU GUYS- NOOO- pls my heart made a loop :(( I love you so much :(( thank you baby and I think now you know what he does with sora MWAH
@kawakuto said: hi hi zade!🤩 (ajdjs idk if you remember me but i moved main blogs and I was @/gukooky before LOL) THE KYOUTANI FIC ANDJWNS I DIDNT EXPECT THE END WAHHHH🥺🥺 it was so well written omg I loved it!! (wtf kyoutani, you said we were going slow what if I wasn’t ready to call u my boyfriend wtffff😔😔 pain.)
AAAAH OFC I DO REMMEBER !! hope youre doing well baby !!! and thank you SO much for your sweet words, I honestly appreciate them so much :((<33
pls I’m in love with your writing. You write kyoutani so well so now I’ll always be grabbing at any crumbs you send my way 🥵
thank you so so so much baby!!!! these kinda words always hit me right at the heart, I appreciate them so much and I love you sm much
bb i love ur kyoutani fic sm :(( ur rlly so talented <33 i look forward to pt 2 ^3^
thank you so much baby, sending a smooch your way mwah
zade that kyoutani piece im in so much pain why would u do this to me 💔💔💔💔
believe me when I say It hurt me even more than you </3
I just finished reading part 2 and it waS SO GOODAJSFHJLFG you did amazing!! (n˘v˘•)¬
THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!
Hi! New nonnie coming through :) First time I'm writing something because I'm such a nervous wreck but I just had to
THE FIC WAS SO GOOD THE VIBES ARE CHEFS KISS. IT WAS SO GOOD I LITERALLY DROOLED I CAN NOT GET OVER IT !
Mister kyotani pls rail me thanks 🐱
THANK YOU AAAH YOURE SO CUTE !!! I truly appreciate this with my whole entire heart so thank you so much baby, hope you have a good one mwah
Wait did he do anything with Sora?
nope!! they just went to the party together but in my mind he didn’t even hug her and she didn’t try anything else, too, simply bc she knew how in love he is with reader!!
YOUR MINDDDDD!! THE KYOU FIC WAS SOOOO GOOOD!! Omg i hope you do a part 3 😭😭
i have a Little sequel which is really really soft but I'd love to write some more for it!
@soranihimawari said: Part 1 & 2 with kyoutani was amazing as always Zade! I really liked the ending. This was such a fun read. I was wondering who’s else would be sharing the apartment with Kyoutani. What made you choose tattoo artist Iwa & Oikawa? Those two made me chuckle with the way they came in like that. Hope you have a great day/evening/late night/etc.
✌🏼&💜
—sora—
aaah thank you so so much, baby!! I truly appreciate your sweet words, youre the cutest! regarding your question: You shares an apartment with Iwa, Oikawa and Yahaba (who also works at the tattoo studio!) and i don't know to be really honest- I just like the thought of these three being really good friends so after contemplating whether or not to go with iwaoi or matsuhana, I ended up going with those two dorks! hope you have a good one baby mwah!!
@sakusapetals said: PLEASEE I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH
AAAH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !!! I LOVE YOU SM
How long did it take you to write the entire two parts? Like wow that’s alot👁👄👁 i adore long fics though
oooh- hm ?? tbh i don't really know ?? I can’t remember ?? I think it took me about a month or like three weeks since I did write it all in one go yk? it was the only WIP I worked on during that time and it felt SO relieving to publish it!
AAAHHH the kyou fic was a masterpiece bb!!! ❤️❤️
thank you so so so much baby!!<33
U LITERLALT WRIYE KYOU THE BEST ABSOLUTE BEST. he’s so aggressive and demanding but he still is willing to show someone special his vulnerability. I LOVE READING STUFF ABOUT HIM FROM U
AAAAH thank you so much- you guys have no idea how much these kinda comments mean to me- I love you so MUCH MWAH
I just read the first part of "back to life" an it had me speechless so many times, almost cried at the end, it's honestly so well written. I'm off to read part two. Have a nice day 🐰
sdoalfsla thank you so much baby! I hope you enjoyed both parts equally as much and thank you for all the love mwah!!<3
Hana is a baddie
SHE IS!! she’s literally the baddest bitch to ever exist ft. saeko ofc but nobody acknowledges it </3
@tonhwa said: I’m in love with the way you write kyoutani pls. Even your previous fics on your old account ( if you don’t mind me mentioning it ) are so fucking amazing. GOSH YOU CHARACTERIZE HIM SO WELL AND THE PLOT IS ALWAYS SO JUICY AND INTERESTING I CANT HELP BUT GO BACK AND READ IT. and then you release this fucking wonderful piece and I feel like it’s my birthday even though it’s already passed LOL ty ily have a wonderful day I’m sobbing tears of happiness
YOU GUYS PLEASE- the fact this made me tear up when I first read it- thank you SO much honestly. knowing you guys enjoy my characterization of my favorite character is honestly everything to me so thank you sm I love you baby have a good one!!<3
I’ve been on this app from high school, and now I’m a college grad. I have to say I’ve never sent a message to anyone I’ve followed. But that tattoo artist! Kyou fic, part 1 and 2 are 😩💕 *chefs kiss* you are one of my favorite writers I’ve ever followed since joining this app. You NEVER disappoint!
-💕 a very satisfied reader
thank you so much baby!! aaah this is honestly so so sweet :(( thank you for taking the time out of your day to send me such a sweet thing, I appreciate it and you so much mwah!!
i gotta say babe THANK YOU FOR THE KYOTANI CONTENT!! muAAAAHH💞💞
NOO THANK YOU GUYS FOR GIVING IT SO MUCH LOVE MWAH!!!
i love kyoutani and he obvs deserves his dick sucked 🤧🤧 but i catch him posting up with other girls I DONT CARE THE SITUATION he gonna catch these hands for a real one 👊🏼👆🏼🤜🏼🥊🥊 kidding 😐😐😐 he’d body me
pls the way this had me chuckling like crazy bc same sajlskjpw he can get mad all he want but he better stay his pretty ass where he is- by my side 😌
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🍓? (🎃's main blog lmao)
oh shit! Hey Kate, ok well idk if you know this but around here when asked to compliment someone we reply with a full ass essay as to why exactly that person is amazing, so buckle the fUCK UP
OK first before we officially begin ,I'm so sorry but I have something to confess. Over the years, I have sent you an embarrassing long list of asks including the Stockholm syndrome one about a year ago and others that I am heavily embarrassed to admit and I'm so sorry but you were my go to blog (still kinda are) and at the time i just had to
OK NOW to begin. you’re a legend. a queen. a genuis. iconic. there is not a SNGLE person in the fandom who doesn't know who you are and there's good reason too! you are the literal beating heart of the fandom rn. do you know how many people you’ve injected into the fandom???? ALOT. like a fuCKTON. I have been following you since 2015 and your influence is just so widely felt its amazing. i don’t think that i would even still be as interested in the books as I still am (and for this long too) if it weren’t for your posts
YOUR FICS. OH DEAR GOD YOUR FICS 😭everytime you post a fic,,, its an EVENT and not like a oh I'm going to go get brunch event but a mark your calenders, lock your doors, get comfy, charge your devices and make sure you have adequate food, water and mental stability kind of thing. its a very big deal to me. YOUR NEVER!TEDROS FIC EVERYTHING ABOUT IT WAS PERFECT. it was a fandom event im so glad i got to witness. Aphrodite Ourania and the envious moon are some of the BEST (AND ONLY) NICPHIE FICS!! ty for supplying them! and your filling in canon one shots are canon and somans scared of you because he knows that you could make SGE 100%. Your fics were the VERY first fics ive ever read. Not just in the SGE fandom but ever. now I'm obsessed and have lost the ability to read actual books but you what???? its worth it. ill have you know I went on a school trip last year to the colosseum and while we were there I got a notification that you posted another gmtg chapter I literally took out time from looking at tHE colosseum COLOSSEUM TO READ GMTG. I was legit like ok can we just pause this shit for a sec I have something very important to do rn. THATS how much I love gmtg!Tedros and want him to rail me basically they’re all iconic and I have a disntint memory for all of them and have reread them all so many times (i could go on and on but for both our sakes i wont ;) )
lets get to your theories and rants shall we?? as with everything else I have to agree. you don’t know how excited 14 yr old me was everytime you posted one! i would talk to my friends and discuss them with them even though they had exactly 0 idea what I was talking about (king agatha is SUPREME) and like they’re so smart??? you think of so many things and i cant believe how in depth you went and YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT DOTS MOTHER (big brain thinking right there) they were a very big part of the SGE experience for me and i could not wait everytime there was another trailer or book cover released
YOU’RE SO NICE!! Just so genuinely nice, approachable and friendly. I'm so sorry that I'm so awkward and sO bad at conversations. Ill have you know everytime i say ANYTHING to you i have INSTANT REGRET AND CRINGE AND IM SO SORRY but you??? you’re so casual and chill and its just nice man its a nice change from the usual constant hecticness of the Instagram fandom. also you’re so fucking F U N N Y! the TWEETS!! the tiktoks, just in general man like there's humour in everything you do! ans the last chapter of alex vs. with the musical COMEDIC GOLD! everytime you like, reblog, comment/ just come up in my notifs in general its a very spiritual experience and i get heart palpatations and stop computing for a solid couple minutes because i refuse to believe that its real! you’re so charismatic and have this effortless charm which is just great! its just more reason for people to absolutely stan
stan Kate. go on. do it. I dare you. its a great way to live your life
fuck this got very long but what else do you do when you’re asked to compliemet an icon.
have a great day <3 :D
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Crawl Home to Her || A Ben Hanscom Series
Chapter Four: Not a Stranger
a/n: aaand we're back! let's see if I can get y'all back into this like im getting myself back into writing it (:
thank you all for being patient with me, if youre still here reading I love you so much.
masterlist
summary
rating: m for graphic depictions of violence, gore, and adult themes
The few feet between Ali and Ben feel like miles as her feet push her forward. Ali was refusing to bother with words, knowing exactly who this man was and how desperately she had waited for him all these years. His arms part instinctively, holding her to his chest as if it were the safest place in the universe and he was determined to protect her. Although years were spent apart, the feeling of being strangers was lost on both Ali and Ben; instead being replaced by the knowledge that they had not only grown up together, but had also been a saving grace for each other.
Ali’s breathing becomes unsteady as she feels Ben’s hand slide up to her neck. She isn’t afraid of him by any means, but the realization that somewhere in her life she forgot about him makes her uneasy; guilty in more ways than one. Tears spring to her eyes and a panic she has not felt since childhood comes upon her suddenly, causing Ben to pull back and look her over quickly in search of the cause of her distress.
“Hey, what’s wrong? I know I look different, but I swear I’m not a stranger.” Ben laughs nervously, trying to lighten the mood while also allowing her a moment to breathe. His hands never leave her, part of him unwilling in the event that she might slip away from him once more.
“I tried so hard for so long to remember you, but I never could. Ben, I forgot about you and I know that sounds awful but I swear I never meant to. You were always there, right at the edge of my mind, but I could never reach you. I’m so sorry.” Her voice shakes as she speaks and Ben has the overpowering need to hold her again and reassure her that everything was perfectly okay. So, that’s exactly what he does.
His thumbs brush across her cheeks, wiping away the tears that slipped past her eyes. “It’s not your fault, Ali. I’m sure Mike will explain everything, but from what I heard you aren’t the only one who’s had some missing pieces from their memory. It’s okay, we can catch up and everything will feel like we never spent a second apart.” Her breathing is still heavy, but a small smile finds its way upon her lips. He reciprocates and there is nothing he wants more than to kiss her in that moment, but he knows that he can't. She just admitted that she had forgotten everything for the longest time, throwing something like that on her now when she was just starting to get her life back was unfair and selfish. He had waited years, a little longer would be no problem at all.
“You ready to go in?” His voice was calm and patient, letting her know that she was allowed to take as much time as she needs. She was ready now though, something deep within her telling her that she could do anything now that the piece she was missing had been found. The pair begin to walk closer to the entrance, taking comfort in the close proximity of their bodies.
Standing right in front of the door was someone that they both had missed severely; even if Ali just now was remembering that she did. Ben reaches down, giving a reassuring squeeze to her hand and smiling toward the girl that had been his first official crush. “Is there a password or something?” Ali laughs beside him, Ben really was proving himself to be the master of throwing back phrases at people. It just further solidified what Ali already knew: they all meant something extraordinary to each other.
Recognition does not dawn on Beverly Marsh’s face as quickly as it did Ali’s. She turns and stares for a moment. “I’m sorry?” The wrapper crinkles in Ali’s hand as she tears it off and slowly pops the candy into her mouth. Beverly watches her and slowly, her face begins to change with a sense of recollection.
“New Kid?” His voice is hopeful as he says the nickname aloud for the first time in forever. The redhead’s eyes scan over Ali and Ben a little longer as the gears work in her head. “Ali? Ben?” Ali smiles excitedly and Ben lets out a relieved puff of air. While she nods her head, smile still beaming back at Beverly, Ben lifts his arm gently in an attempt to welcome Beverly into a hug. Bev comes forward, wrapping her arms around the both of them quickly and laughing.
“Oh my god!” The three stand there for a while, hugging in a way that feels familiar to each of them. Ali never enjoyed being touched by other people, she shied away from hugs and general contact because it always felt so wrong to her. This though, felt right. She felt comfortable for the first time in as far back as her still-hazy memory could go.
“it's been so long.” When Ben says this, it sounds less like a sad regret and more like a happy reassurance. It had been so long, but the wait was over at last.
"You guys look great!" Seperating, the trio find the source of the voice in the form of who could only be Richie Tozier. He looks down at himself and scoffs. “What the fuck happened to me?”
Once more, Ali finds herself closing the distance between herself and her old friend. Images flash before her eyes, showing her of a time when her and Richie would get into arguments, sometimes heated, that would always end in rolling eyes and smiles. He had kept her on her toes as a kid, but sometimes things like that only prove to strengthen the bond you have with someone.
Part of Ali was expecting to see someone else walk up with Richie; she doesn’t know why but the distinct recollection of his lovestruck face brings itself to the forefront of her mind and she is almost disappointed to find him alone.
“Hey Trashmouth!” They all laugh while Ali and Richie hug. The nickname definitely came easy to remember. “Are you fucking serious? I escape this shit for years just to come back and immediately get fucking ridiculed. That’s unreal, Ugly Duckling.” Ali pulls back from the hug and stares at him with shock on her face. Now that was a name she hadn’t heard in forever.
Ben almost intervenes, afraid that maybe Ali won’t receive the banter as such. It takes a moment, but the shock slowly slides into amusement. She shoves his shoulder and hugs him again; she really had missed them all.
The rest of them greet each other with warm smiles, Beverly and Ben also fall victim to Richie’s incessant need to say whatever’s on his mind, and soon it is time to go in.
With shaky hands, Ali follows the group to the entrance of the brightly lit restaurant. She falls behind a bit, trying to hide behind the rest of them as Richie continues to lighten the mood with his voice. It takes only a second for Ben to turn and notice how quiet she has gotten, and in that same second he halts his walking, waits for her to catch up, and falls into step alongside her.
Their shoulders bump as they walk and Ali finds the feeling of warmth radiating from his open palm to be immensely more inviting than the illuminated building. His knuckles graze hers gently, as though he is calling her toward him in a way. She takes the invitation as soon as he is willing to give it, slowly sliding her hand into his larger one.
Ben doesn’t look down when he feels her soft hand find his own. He simply takes it and wraps his fingers in hers, driving away the cold of her palm with the comforting heat of his body. The nervous trembling doesn’t stop, but it does subside and that is more than Ben could ever ask for.
Finally looking down, Ben catches the twinkling lights reflecting in Ali’s eyes. Smiling felt so foreign to him until today, and he feels his eyes come alight for what very well may be the thousandth time since arriving. Her own mouth curves up into the smallest of smiles as she notices him staring, and Ben can’t help but think it is the most beautiful sight he has ever seen.
Tags (ive been gone a while so i understand if youd like to be taken off, just message me): @stanley-barbs @bvrningdesires @floralpiper @thesmittenkitkat @daisysinadarkmedow @auggusst @isabellathedreamer @makbubblefandom @1988-fiend @alexther11 @goldenmoonbeam
let me know if you want to be added to the list!
a/n: as always, i greatly appreciate every read, like, reblog, and comment so much! feedback is always happily welcome and i hope you guys liked this chapter.
this is a side blog so i cant respond to comments (although i love to read them!!) but if yall ever wanna talk just shoot me an ask or message me! I love talking to yall <3
coming up...this meeting of the losers club has officially begun.
#ben hanscom x reader#it chapter 2 x reader#it chapter two x reader#it chapter two#it chapter one#it 2019#it 2017#ben hanscom#ben hanscom fanfic#richie tozier#beverly marsh#bill denbrough#mike hanlon#eddie kaspbrak#stanley uris#Jay Ryan#jay ryan fanfic#bleufrost.fic#crawl home to her
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mdzs read diary part IV, the end
It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF
dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math
chicken
he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....
IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point
this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE
This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”
ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems
it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to
I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off
doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!
ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.
I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!
I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:
I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.
god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug
HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think
aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please
- CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.
- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS
- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow
- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them
- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME
- I want to Draw
- ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably
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I wanna rant and this is my damn blog so you cant stop me
its gonna be a vague and I’m sure the person who this is about isn’t even following me here or active on here at all so dw about it
so, I used to have a friend for YEARS and in the beginning we were super close and besties, and then because I was honestly quite insufferable and at the peak of my self hatred, incapable of doing basic self care, dysphoric, all of that I ended up acting out horribly A LOT. It was bad and I honestly feel really terirble about it
and it kinda broke the relationship?? like, I made some super weird and bad choices and sometimes provoked fights for absolutely no reason, plus other things I struggled with communication wise
and usually it would just result in me being insanely angry for seemingly no reason, screaming, getting super aggressive at everybody around me, spewing insults and getting extremely catty just to then at some point seemingly get what I was doing and start being extremely self destructive and depressed and tell the other person horrid, usually manipulative stuff trying to “make them believe how sorry I was”. In retrospect and after therapy I can tell that that’s a very typical behaviorial pattern of a kid with one or more parents/guardians who struggle with borderline, but back then I had no clue what to do about it or how to deal w it.
however, looking back I can definitely see the point where he stopped being sincerely upset and started feeding into it in order to make me act up worse. I know he had trauma, I know he struggled with stuff himself, so it might have something to do with that or learned behavior or something but he would wait till my anger died down and I started to just be self destructive and then push in on that, which usually started the anger back up just to make me fall again. It was honestly really strange and I remember that I tried to stop it at times but my head was reeling so bad that I couldn’t even be alone with my thoughts, I was sincerely terrified and since I had no idea how to cope with it I would keep on texting him and basically NEEDING HIM to tell me I was okay
ok so lil tangent because I feel like I need to clarify this:
that kinda behavior stands in connection with the general behavior of my mom. she needs constant arguments and fights to keep herself afloat, but she doesn’t wanna start them- because she likes putting herself into the victim role.
to this day she provokes people until THEY have enough and get angry at her and then she argues until she starts crying and then demands an apology. However, since she NEEDS this type of stress in her life, it doesn’t need to be a real and calm and loving apology, she needs you to *make it clear how sorry you are*. Anything from full on crying to falling to your knees to telling her “I should never have been born” is okay and she will usually end that with a hug and suddenly everything is fine again- but an apology that is less dramatic and more sincere will never be accepted because its “not a real apology”.
so when I got angry for no reason, it was more so that my brain picked up on certain things that my mom would do to provoke an argument. little pokes, like eating loudly, dropping pointy comments, suddenly getting very loud, interrupting me as I speak. then, because I was conditioned to do that, I would get insanely angry and attack the person across from me who did absolutely nothing wrong, and at some point I would realize “oh no, why tf did I do that” and immediately slump down and insult myself and tell the other person I shouldn’t be alive. And the longer the other person didnt tell me “it’s okay” and have the world be okay again, the more violent my threats against myself become because my brain didn’t understand why I wasn’t doing enough.
it’s extremely toxic and it took therapy and learning to understand what the fuck is even going on to get rid of it- and I am absolutely not excusing it. I understand how bad it was for everybody around me and I’m honestly very proud to say that I haven’t done that in a VERY long time, at least not to that horrible extend.
so, that broke the relationship, but he kept on holding onto me and at the time I thought that was because he liked me, but didn’t know how to just move on from there. We had on/off moments, we stumbled a bit and I couldn’t shake the feeling that he really really disliked me. The fact that he sometimes wouldn’t respond to me for weeks while being very active and social in public servers and stuff and was obviously planning fun things in private with other people didn’t help it, because even if he was exhausted and needed time for himself, it meant that I was obviously not somebody he was comfortable with at this time-
but whenever I asked him about it, he told me it was nothing and I was being paranoid and toxic again
and I believed that!! It made sense, I have been paranoid about people randomly hating me forever and I was probably always wrong
until I wasn’t.
there were people who I was sure couldn’t stand me, and I would try to avoid them because it made me uncomfortable- but whenever I brought it up to him he would get angry at me for being paranoid- and then later I would learn that I was actually completely correct about my assumption and that person had already disliked me before I even took notice of it.
it was really odd how people surrounding him seemed to also dislike me, and I thought that was my weird warped self hating perception, but unfortunately it turned out to be right more often than not
and all of that reached its peak when I joined the same roleplay server as him, put a lot of work and effort into what I did in there and was eventually bullied out of it.
I’m not gonna get into that because that’s its whole own eco system of garbage, but the moment I entered I already felt weird pressure and like I was not exactly welcome. It all slowly got worse, what I did didn’t get anywhere and I eventually caught wind of it and tried carefully asking people if we are okay, if anything is wrong. Every last one of them always told me I was okay and I shouldn’t be paranoid until one of them, who would constantly write provocative stuff directed at me but never engaged in an actual conversation with me, told me how uncomfortable I made them and others and insisted that I stop texting them, blocking me.
to this day I have no idea what I ever did to them. I never attacked them, I never got rude. They just suddenly ghosted everything we started and then claimed I made them uncomfortable out of nowhere.
the only thing: I just realized they seem to be best friends with my old friend.
there’s no morale here, I just.
He’s very charismatic. He’s the kinda person to enter a room and everybody immediately likes him. I’ve watched him enter servers that I struggled to be heard in and immediately make like 5 friends. People love this guy.
me not so much. I’m clumsy in social settings, I’m quiet, and sometimes I don’t dare speaking up at all.
and it’s honestly making me very uncomfortable that somebody who can pull people onto their side within a split second hates me enough to make other people dislike me.
#life#rant#sorry but this all was. very much stuck in my head today#im just scared bc im still involved in things barely out of his reach#and he could easily stumble into these things and at this point I'm sure that if he talks to the right people#he'd just push me back out of my friend groups#dude if you read this and turn it into another chapter of your 'i was abused' story idk what to say but that just proves me right
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I’m so proud of you for not only finishing the masterpiece that is Bitchin *chef kiss* but also getting the final chapter out when you were hoping. Every little win should be celebrated so make sure to give yourself some credit x
bitchin 10 asks (finally!)
thefouranemoi said: just finished bitchin! it was soooooos soooooooooo good! im a sucker for a really good slow burn but this wasn't dragged out or overly dramatic. it was perfect and im so glad y/n and jk have each other. thank you for such a series!
sadlemonboy said: i read bitch’n 10 on the bus and was trying so hard to just not cry. i was so good i love it so much. just like thank you
Anonymous said: WHAT'S WITH YARA AND TAE??? ARE THEY TOGETHER??? WILL WE EVER KNOW???
Anonymous said: Buttt just out of curiosity what happened with Yara and Taee, did they became fvckbuddies or smth
forvever-ddaeng said: STOP IM FUCKING SAD ITS OVER :( WHEN I READ “I SLEPT WITH ERIK” I WANTED TO STAB MY EYES OUT LIKE WTF BUT THE PAPER WAS HONESTLY SO FUCKING CUTE IM SO HAPPY WITH HOW THIS TURNED OUT I LOVE YOU AND YOUR BRAIN 🥺 p.s. do you think you’d ever do a drabble or epilogue where we get more of yara and tae? Totally cool if you don’t want to I was just wondering
O.O
Anonymous said: BITCHIN PART 10 WAS SO GOOD!!!! I WAS CRYING LAST MIGHT, THINKING THAT Y/N AND JK WERE JUST GOING TO PART WAYS,,,,HEKDHBFKD FUCKIN HAD ME SCARED. OMG SUCH A GOOD SERIES!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE.
Anonymous said: AHHH I LOVED BITCHIN SO MUCH!!! This has always been one of my favorite fics right from the beginning and probably will always be one of my favorites. You did such an amazing job. I’m sad Bitchin era is over but I’m excited for whatever era that will be next:) Thank you for writing this, ILY
Anonymous said: THANK U FOR BITCHIN IT WAS AMAZING
Anonymous said: Bitchin was one wild ride 😭😭 I loved it and can’t wait for more of your rewind series 🥺💕💕
Anonymous said: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💜💜💜😩😩😩😩- my reaction to bitchin final (for now)
Anonymous said: REST IN PEACE BITCHIN AAAAKAAKK.,?!@ FOREVER IN MY HEART GOD DAMMIT I CANT STOPCRYING ARE U HAPPY ROSE DID U LIKE CRUSHING MY FEELINGS LIKE THIS OIOOHNMY GOD 😭😭😭😭
jessiejellybean said: The only thing I can say about bitchin finale is GAJSOSLALHSISSAOWLLANSHSJAKA SERIOUSLY ITS SO GOOD THIS SERIES AS A WHOLE IS UNBELIEVABLY GOOD 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND
Anonymous said: bitchin was so good😭 i am BEYOND devastated knowing that ill no longer be getting notifs on another update🥺it was so fun to be a part of this journey consisting of having to anticipate for another part to be posted for as long a month! but never have i regretted any second of waiting bcs the result came out so well written and interesting u might as well make it into a hard copy or a movie and get paid loads🤩 keep up the good work❤️
Anonymous said: Funnily enough, you were the first EVER bts blog that I followed because I thought you were funny as hell. Then, you posted part 1 of bitchin and on god I swear I signed my life away for bitchin!jk 🤡. I've officially lived through an era 🥺🥺. I'll miss them but I'll always be the biggest yaraxtae whore 🥵💦 -♒
sydney--chan said: This might sounds totally stupid or whatever, but bitchin' means a lot to me and I'm so happy that you decided to share it with us. Not to get all sad n shit but I started reading this during a really rough period in my life. This story allowed me to forget about all the stuff that was going on, even for just a little bit. This story means so much to me and seeing it end is like making me 😭😭😭 this is the perfect story and I love you and thank you for creating such a beautiful story
Anonymous said: THAT WAS SO GOOOOOOOD the way u wrote about jungkook’s feelings tugged at my heartstrings like my heart physcially legitimately hurt ur writing was so spot on!! all the details!! Totally worth staying up even though i have class tm
Anonymous said: miss rose i just wanted to stop by and say thank you for always giving us such masterpieces. as a jk whore (ot7 whore in general but ya know) bitchin was just *chefs kiss* i literally looked forward to Sundays bc I knew there was a chance a new chapter would be posted lol. I am sad to see bitchin end but am also suuuuper excited to support your new fics and anything else you come out with. you’re the best. love ya 💕
Anonymous said: Bitchin' 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I'm going to say this for the umpteenth time... IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD. It's one of the best fanfictions out there and I'm gonna re-read it at least five more times. Thank you so much for blessing us with this bounty! Take care! 💜💜
koru-rhi said: I should really be asleep but I had to finish Bitchin & I went back and reread it from the beginning to the end and I just want you to know how much I loved it! It was a beautiful smuttyfluffyangsty ride and I can’t wait to read more of your writing! I totally lost it at Everything I Didn’t Say 😫 btw.
Anonymous said: Wow bitchin is over... what is there to look forward to now on this app :(
Anonymous said: I AM NOT CRYING, YOU ARE ALL CRYING I CNA IT THE END DNDMSM MY POOR HEART. AGHHHH SNAMAMA PLEASE,WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME. YOU ARE KILLING ME. I DON'T KNOW IF I AM SAD OR HAPPY OR BOTH.
Anonymous said: UGH! bitchin 10 was amazing *chef’s kiss* I sobbed, I felt their earnest love for each other. A real roller coaster just like my emotions rn. Ngl I sound like a middle aged white mom giving a book review 💀 anygays I just wanted to say that I love ur stories and they’re always so well written
betysotelo18 said: Bitchin'...has me in tears! For some reason I thought this was going to have smut...Who needs smut! This was PERFECT! The damn piece of paper made tears roll down my cheeks! I loved every single chapter. Thanks for sharing
deewhalien21 said: Waiting bitchin part 10 was hell, couldn’t imagine living without them now😔 I’m going to miss them, like a lot. And thank u for good memories with these people mam, thank u for making me experiencing heart break that I could never have. I’m waiting another great stories❤️😔
lalumaia said: That was just perfect, Rose. Thank you, I love you
Anonymous said: hi, bitchin was soooo good and every time you uploaded i felt so happy and excited for the next one, thank you for all your work!
Anonymous said: when i saw the warning said “angst” i was so worried they wouldn’t end up together :( thank you for this rose this was such a beautiful story and experience!!! love u lots angel
Anonymous said: ROSE HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SO GOOD !!!!!!!!
unknowntalesx said: ROSE IM CRYING WHAT THE FUCK I LOVED THAT SO MUCH MY HEART WAS BEING SQUEEZED AND TORN AND I HAD/HAVE LITERAL TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE
Anonymous said: OMG CANT BELIEVE BITCHIN IS OVER 😭😭 i loved everything from the beginning till the end 💜 THANK U FOR WRITING SUCH AMAZING STORY
Anonymous said: On god bitchin is the best series I’ve ever read on this app. The ending was great too! Just sad that it’s over :( thanks for writing it
Anonymous said: FAM YOU GOT ME CRYING IN THE CLUB WITH BITCHIN PT. 10! I absolutely adore your work so much and Bitchin was absolutely beautiful and so fantastic to read. I love it and you so much! Thank you for giving us something so beautiful ❤️ P.S. now take a long break girl because you deserve it
Hi friends! I can’t even begin to explain how much every single comment/like/reblog/ask in regards to bitchin has meant to me
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My OUAT Rewatch -- S6E6 -- Dark Waters
Link to Rewatch Review and Ranking archive
You know, you learn LOTS of things when you’re not angrily blogging and screaming while watching a show that you used to love and now hate watch because the writers are hack asshats.
For example . . . . . did you know that Killybunny used to just go around murdering and killing people for shits and giggles? Did you know that he’s still punching people and putting them in the hospital and doing exactly what his snuggle boo Emma tells him NOT to do? And did you know it takes all of FIVE SECONDS for all of that to just be totes forgiven by both Emma AND Henry because he’s that awesome and wonderful?
Okay, you probably DID know all of this shit but . . . . . paralleled against a backdrop of Belle debating whether or not Rumple is permitted to see their child’s ultrasound because he’s soooooooooooooooo eeeeeeeeeeviiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllll when the only time he’s bothered her since they returned is when a literal madman wanted to murder her . . . . . . . . yeah.
Rumple reading the script like “Who writes this shit?”
Well, Brigitte Hales for one but . . . . more on that later . . .
First of all, before more snark begins, I do want to comment on Belle’s dress in this episode because it is beautiful. SHE is beautiful.
I love this dress, and wow, what a nice improvement from the frumpy thing she was wearing two episodes ago.
But then there’s our continuing game show . . . . .
WHAT THE FUCK IS EMMA WEARING??????
They just get worse every episode, don’t they?
So . . . . . where to begin?
This was a Hook propping episode, and the basic summary of any Hook propping episode is: “Hook does something really shitty, probably murder or at the bare minimum physical assault, lies about something, and in the end all is forgiven because reasons and he’s SPESHUL!” Also sub-plot of every Hook propping episode: “Rumple is an evil evil that evils even though whatever he’s doing is either a) nothing or b) nowhere near as bad as whatever Hook was doing in this episode, but he’s still the evilest evil of all evils who should be shunned forever and ever amen.”
Is that an accurate summary?
So that’s the gist of this one, but other stand-out moments:
Henry telling the EQ that “Hook would never hurt their family” -- dude, he LITERALLY just tried to kill ALL OF YOU like what, a month ago? Two months? I don’t know, I’m as done with trying to make sense of this timeline as the writers are. But seriously -- there was a trip to HELL and everything because he tried to hurt all of you. You know, you were THERE. You wrote about it in your fucking book. JFC, this show, I swear.
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/152406925472/pamchenko-twist-mel35-the-joke-of-the-year
Also this:
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/152461563747/an-empty-heart-and-a-bloodstained-harpoon
The Snow/Belle scene in the hospital . . . . I mean, I just . . . . . seriously????
So we’re just flat out ignoring the fact that Snow sold out Belle to Hyde a couple of weeks ago and pretending that they’re bestest buddies now? Of course, Belle doesn’t KNOW THAT.
Also . . . . . again I ask . . . Rumple . . . WHAT DID HE DO??????
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/152595157632/im-going-to-tell-yall-right-now
Okay, let’s piggyback on that post I just linked. Because there IS some serious bullshit going on in the writers room at this point.
Y’all know how we dragged on Brigitte Hales from S6 onward as being a shitty, Rumple-hating writer. And how we dragged on her being up Hook’s ass on TWITTER and dragging Rumple ON TWITTER.
Well here’s the thing that you notice when you deep dive into the series and pay attention to shit.
Hales has been on staff since the START of SEASON FIVE. She was supposedly there to “replace” Kalinda, who left abruptly after S4 ended, literally after the Out of the Past graphic novel came out, which was the summer IN BETWEEN S4 & S5, when she gushed on social media about the beautiful Rumbelle story she wrote for it.
Well here’s the things boys and girls -- this is only Brigitte’s SECOND EPISODE as a writer. She only wrote ONE episode in S5, and it was way toward the end, and now it’s 6 episodes in before she gets to pen another one. Kitsowitiz have already penned TWO episodes this season, which also isn’t the norm in the writing pattern, and the last time they penned an episode at an odd point in a season was the end of S2 when they wanted to steer into a “different direction” because of the Neverland shit.
I have theories . . . . but I’m hesitant to post them because they’re NOT nice and there’s a 50/50 chance I’m right or wrong, but . . . . if you’re nosy . . . . shoot me a message (NOT on anon though cause I’m not posting it here, if you ask on anon I’m not answering) and I’ll gladly share privately, providing that you’ll keep it to yourself.
BTW, I was rooting for this to be the first episode to dip below the 1.0 ratings number . . . .
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/152559741072/mission-accomplished
A Belle gripe post for those interested:
https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/152555883387/tired-of-how-theyre-writing-belle
Also, the GQ stuff . . . . didn’t bother me. Because watching it . . . . Rumple had ZERO reaction. ZERO. He didn’t want it, he didn’t kiss back. And I can’t help but wonder if Lana and Bobby played this scene that way on purpose, ignoring whatever stupid shit the script said. If so good for them -- at least someone gives a fuck about these characters.
The thing that bugged me about that scene was Rumple referring to Hook and Henry as “The Pirate and his Son.”
I’m sorry, WHAT????? What kind of fucked up shit is that????
THIS is Neal’s Dad, BRIGITTE HALES, not the fucking Pirate Fuckboy! I know you weren’t there when Neal was on the show, and you and Goodman were probably in the corner of the writers room wanking on the Hook Standee when Souls of the Departed was being written and missed the Neal part, but please learn the show’s HISTORY and also Rumple would NEVER refer to his GRANDSON as the son of that STD-ridden douche canoe!
THAT was probably the most angering moment of this episode.
Lord, this show, I swear . . . . . . . .
Points tally:
40 points to start
Belle was in character ISH at the end so 2 points for that I guess (I’m being generous here because I liked her dress and I’m that shallow)
20 points deducted for Hook centric
Only 1 point deducted for Zee because she was basically insignificant in this episode, as she always should be
3 points deducted for OOC Rumple for the “Pirate and his son” line cause NO fuck that noise
10 points deducted for Hales
Cant really justify adding or deducting anything else. I mean -- there are worse episodes out there and the fuckery in this one is pretty much par for the course so, whatever.
Total points: 8
Follow #celtichearted OUAT ranking tag for more to come!
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Office
Hey.
once upon a time I was an avid blogger. oh man, those were the days. you just documented your life, and made it look all cute and buttoned up, only for complete strangers to come around, comment and ask where you got your sweater.
that world became too filtered and contrived and required too much sharing. how much sharing do we really need to do? honestly. it’s like the followers wanted to join us in bed at night- well, that was done... by my now ex-husband... so, here we are.
I don't really want to come here and discuss “growth” and “change” because we all have our favorite quotes-a-gram for that. fuck it, right? no one wants to hear about it. aren’t we all quoted out by now?
in about two weeks i’ll be starting my first OFFICE job in seven years. ooof.
you see, I've worked in a restaurant for the last seven years. first as a happy go lucky waitress, then as a sex-appeal bartender, and now as a worn down general manager. as luck would have it, on a day where I just wanted to blow my brains out and serve it as the soup du jour, an opportunity presented itself. after many interviews, a little bit of politics, and a lot of belief in me from others, I have landed my dream job.
in the same breath, I filed for a divorce from my husband. why walk to change when you can run? even if you haven’t run since you were a varsity athlete. and even then you hated running.
but, now, i’m new to the office.
to be honest, no one is more excited for this change and shift than me.
“the universe aligns us when we ask for it.”
gag.
look, I actually do believe in synchronicity and the universe. I also believe in hard fucking work. you cant just “ask” the local indoor plant for something. you have to fucking work. you have to follow through. you have to chase it. you have to sweat it. dream about it. AND THEN AFTER ALL THAT YOU STILL MIGHT NOT GET IT BUT YOU MIGHT GET CLOSER.
put that in wordswag and quote it.
I thought with all this change I could re-enter the writing world on my own terms. with anonymity (ish- lets be honest, the internet can figure out anything). and with something to finally discuss.
my goal? just to write.
I have a feeling i’ll finally start sharing all the horrible experiences I've had in the restaurant, now that I cant lose my job for it.
I have a feeling i’ll discuss the different lifestyle pace (you mean I wont be eating dinner at midnight? what are weekends off?)
and, I have a feeling i’ll talk about re-entering the dating world.
it’s all new to me.
so, just so we’re clear moving forward:
1. I misuse commas. fucking deal with it.
2. I curse. I work in a high pressure atmosphere. I like cursing! I love the word “fuck”! i’m going to curse. take your jesus prayers and find another tumblr if that's offensive to you.
3. i’m not going to bother proof reading this too diligently. i’m also not going to bother capitalizing words. I don't want to, okay?
4.i’m sarcastic and I've never been able to really write in that voice. my old blogs were watered down versions of myself because my mom read it. my think pieces that are floating around on the interwebz are a stylistic version of my writing. I want this to read like we’re talking!
5.im new to tumblr, too. ive used WordPress, blogger (let’s all laugh at that together) but ive never entered the tumblr world. I feel old saying that (i’m not old- just have lived a few lives the last ten years) but hopefully i’ll pick up on the cool, hip, lingo soon. is
5a. i’m really fucking excited. i’m excited to start new. I know that's unusual! but, it’s all been a blur and i’m excited to be present again. to be reinvigorated again.
here’s hoping this works!
cheers,
the new girl.
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look. im going off anon for this, which is something i never do tbh. i ship sk. i ship it like hell. but i like kl too, and when i saw that post, i laughed. it was a good joke, and tbh i was like "wtf why cant u see keiths hand maybe he IS holding lances hand". people go on and on about klantis, but there are sheith shippers who take it way too fucking far sometimes. you don't deserve hate or problems for that. you seem like a genuinely nice person who doesn't deserve crap for what you ship. (1)
¡you deserve as much happiness with your ship as we get with ours. as much as id like things to be canon, i realize that it might not be, and no matter what, no one deserves to be hated on or pestered because of what they ship. klance is a damn beautiful ship, and some sk shippers need to realize that by harrassing people over ships, they have sunk to @ntis levels. so you keep on shipping your great ship and dont listen to what anybody has to say about it. youre doing amazing sweetie. (2)
ALSO another thing that some sk shippers need to realize is that kl shipper =/= anti!! sure, it's definitely a thing (oh boy is it a thing) but just because someone ships kl doesnt mean theyre an anti! sometimes the sk side of the fandom can be pretty damn hypocritical too, and it pisses me off. sk is a good ship. kl is a good ship. one ship is not inherently better than another, even in regards to whether or not itll be "canon". just let people enjoy what they want! sorry for venting a bit. (3)
OH FRESHLY BREWED JUNIBERRY??
(for context, here’s the s8 poster shitpost in question, here’s me popping off, and here’s me popping off part 2 electric boogaloo i was MAD last night akdsjfjksakfj)
i’m gonna start of by saying that i don’t think this is actually an s/k vs k/l situation? because this behavior is NOT a thing reserved to s/k shippers, it’s just that as that ship has exploded in the past year so has the number of people who are s/k shippers doing this so it just feels like it, but i see it across the board. it’s not s/k thing and i don’t want it to be labeled as such. it’s just that because s/k has become so big you can find more examples of it than if you went searching in s/l, a/l, p/l, etc. could some of that behavior be s/k vs k/l? i’m sure you’d be hard pressed not to find at least one person like that out there, but i actually believe this stems from more of a non-k/l shipping fandom issue than anything else.
i feel like i should address what counts as ant¡ behavior, especially as an ex-ant¡ myself. but that’s probably a post i’ll make separately from this one though as i want to be able to word it correctly and make it so that people don’t feel like i’m coming for them or their ship. the fact is that some people genuinely don’t recognize their behavior for what it is because it’s almost been reinforced that they’re doing the right thing by so many for so long they’ve let themselves go unchecked and because of that it’s just spiraled out of control.
but yeah, just because someone ships k/l doesn’t mean they’re an anti! i think that sometimes people just jump the gun, and honestly i’m not going to make excuses for them anymore. the thing is it’s not even that every sha/adin shipper has been personally harassed for their ship, because statistically that’s just not possible. i really don’t think people are writing anons, @ ing in posts, etc to every single sha/adin out there. and before you come for me saying i could never know what it’s like, i have had my inbox flooded by both sides, i have been vagued about by both sides, i have had call out posts, sha/adin twitter memed me (briefly, but tbh im not mad about that IT WAS FUNNY), i was on vld.flops, and at one point i’ve had law enforcement involvement (to be fair, that was for ant¡s coming after me, not sha/adins) like i’ve been through that. that’s personal harassment. and yeah, seeing ant¡s post mean stuff in the tags, seeing them go after your favorite blogs or your friends, and in general just... their overall disrespect towards people in general is pretty bad, but none of that warrants you walking around with a chip on your shoulder or being able to just ‘go off’ at any and all times. even if you have been personally harassed once or even multiple times, you don’t get to do it back. that’s not how you enact change.
anyways, if you don’t like k/l and k/l shippers that much, and seeing them reminds you of bad things, i don’t blame you at all, but that really doesn’t excuse shitty behavior. as we say in the pro ship side of things, blacklist is your religion, and if you need a more heavy duty option (that removes the post entirely from your dash, as in the whole ‘this post is blocked because xyz’ won’t even show up the whole thing is just gone), xkit is free! if seeing it bothers you that much, don’t go scrolling through the tags, don’t go scrolling through blogs, don’t go after people bnf vague, and if you do see something, just scroll past it. in all honesty by commenting you’re just worsening the already oozing, festering, cluster fuck that is this fandom even if that post in question is by a hateful person, and that’s the at best scenario. at worst, you look like a dumbass who takes everything way too seriously by picking on a person who just made a shitpost for fun.
thank you so much for the encouragement, it really means a lot especially knowing that you’re part of the s/k fandom. having that support and knowing that not everyone is just going to think i’m a raving, rabid k/ancer uwu for getting upset over constantly being unfairly jeered at does help a great deal! im just... tired of feeling dread when my ask box lights up, or my stomach getting sick when i scroll through my activity feed. i know im usually a low sodium blog (and we will be returning to low sodium hours shortly) but i think this is something that needs to be talked about. people shouldn’t be able to get away with this behavior.
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Progress Note #2: How to love yourself
Today, for the nth time, I have googled “how to love myself”. It’s that time of the month, I think, that I get depressive thoughts, suicidical really, but I still try to fight for myself and try to save me. Just a little background, when I was in high school, I had suicidal notes – plans to kill myself, notes of goodbyes to my parents. To this day, I still remember the look of hurt of my mother when she read it. She was hurt, betrayed and scared at the same time. Right there I realized that my problems wont go away along with me, it will stay with the people left behind. So at that moment, I promised whenever these thoughts visit, and they often do, that I will fight for myself. A bit ironic, isn’t it? Negating the thoughts of killing myself. But it really happens, you really cant control these thoughts. I have thought about getting professional help, but I think im not ready to scare my parents again. So im doing a “self-help”. So while I was researching, I came about a website by marc and angel and they list down a few tips on how to love yourself. So today, I will try to do that.
“because the greatest struggle in life is the struggle to accept, embrace, and love ourselves, with all of our imperfections”
it seem so easy. I mean, I love myself. But do I really KNOW myself for me to love it?
I was making plans with my best friend, telling him our plans of travelling together when this academic thing is over. I was telling him of not getting married early because I was scared of being alone. When his replied shocked me, he said, “Learn to love your company, be your own bestfriend”. GUYS. My own bestfriend, telling me to be my own bestfriend. Was he trying to break up with me? But it hit me hard. I SHOULD REALLY LOVE MYSELF. But how?
“We have to learn to be our own best friends beciase sometimes we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. We love the idea of others loving us, and we forget to love ourselves.”
Start telling yourself what you love about yourself.
Well, this is hard. You know what’s easy? Telling myself what I hate about myself. But let’s try this exercise. I have watched a series wherein they also did this but they only listed 5 things, so I will try that.
I love my height
I love my cheerful and optimistic side (even though it is tiring sometimes)
I love how I can make people laugh
I love my kilay
I love my dimples
Be one with what is
It says in the website, “ giving up on being perfect and beginning the journey of becoming your true self”. Well, that’s easy. I am not perfect. I know that. Again, I can list all of my imperfections in 10 minutes unlike exercise 1 which took my 30 minutes to list 5 things. face palm
but being one with what is, it’s kind of difficult to understand. Being okay with yourself. Isn’t that settling? Isn’t that going below average? But maybe I am the average and being myself is okay. Well, we will update on this because I am also confused on the matter HAHA
Focus less on winning the approval of others
Okay, this is difficult. We live in a world where every aspect of your life is posted on social media. Every event in your daily, mundane life is recorded. How the hell do you stop trying to get approval of others? Whenever I post something, someone is always there to comment – be it bad or good. Maybe I should get a social media hiatus, right?
“Your time on this planet is precious:
“What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it”
“Don’t wait around for someone else to give you permission to live”
Sooooo, if I sleep all day, what does that make me? Still important. I think I shouldn’t be bothered by what people think about my itinerary. I will do whatever makes me happy. #sleepislife
Distance yourself from those who bring you down
Wait, what if I don’t know those people? Should I know them?
“Being in a relationship is better than being in a wrong one” – OH SNAP, that hit me. I have been with this guy for a long time now (hello 7 years), and I still don’t see any progress with our relationship. Should I see progress? But I still don’t have the guts to let him go. I still love him. But in most times, we just aren’t in sync. I don’t know what to do with it, though.
“Know your worth” – still trying, I am so sorry.
“Quality over quantity” – ah, this I have done right. I think. But sometimes, I still feel like I was choosen last. You know those scenes in the movie, where the captain chooses their team mate? I always feel like I was the last one choosen. Maybe because they have been together longest? Or maybe because I don’t speak the language? Or maybe because of who I am as a person. But I don’t really blame them, I guess it’s my fault.
Forgive your past self.
I’m not so sure about this. I don’t really have a past to forgive on. Or do i?
(I just realized how long this list is, so I will try to be more concise)
Start making the changes you know you need to make
WHAT CHANGES?
“Just because something made you happy in the past doesn’t mean you have to keep it forever” – this is him again. I think. But but but, he still makes me happy. Sometimes. Yea, im stupid that way.
Embrace the mistakes you haven’t even made yet
This looks fun. “Don’t let the fear of making the wrong decision prevent you from making any decision at all”
Well, the thing is, I keep making the wrong decisions.
Show gratitude for who you are and what you have right now.
I am very grateful with what I have right now. I know there are a lot of people less fortunate that I am, and I am very much grateful for what I have. But sometimes, I really can’t control my jealous type. They have like this, they go to this, and whatever. But I keep telling myself that what I have now is more than enough and I shouldn’t feel bad about it. It’s an everyday struggle, but I know what I have.
I have always thought that I could get anything I want as long as I put my mind to it. But there are things that I really can’t have. That makes me angry and want to throw a tantrum but I realize that I am too old for that sht. I have to learn to accept these things, however hard it seems.
“There are lots of people who will never have what you have right now. So use pain, frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in conttol of the way you look at life.”
I will accept these things.
No matter how hard it is.
It’s a hard pill to swallow, so man up, self!
Do something every day that makes you happy
What if nothing makes me happy anymore?
“Life is short”
“Invest in the activities you deeply care about”
“You have to experience life on your terms before you can be life-giving to others”
I really need to get a hobby. Any suggestions?
Give yourself a fair chance to explore new ideas and opportunites
But how?
Hobbies. Interests. What.
Listen to your intuition and be honest with yourself about everything
Now, this is what this blog is all about. Being honest with myself. You see, I haven’t been honest with a lot of people in my life. I told lies to be interesting. I had to keep up with it. But then I realized, I don’t really have to do that. Fuck what people say, this is me. If you don’t love me, then leave. (I hope I am this confident in real life).
“Confidence comes from knowing that what youre doing is right, and that what you’re doing is right for YOU”
Believe in your abilities.
Focus in writing your story, instead of reading, watching, and hearing about everyone else’s
I feel like I have been doing this at some point of my life. I guess, my life was so boring I had to make it a bit interesting by watching others. But I realized again, that this was wrong.
Pay close attention to your life as you’re living it
This is what I am also practicing. Being in the present. Maybe because of my work that I have missed a lot of stuff happening in my loved one’s lives, but now I will try to be there. To be present. I used to ask myself whenever someone invites me, “what will I do there”. Today, I will answer myself with “Just be there, be present.”
Loosen up and be a little less serious about it all
I guess what’s good about me is that I don’t take it all seriously. Most of my friends can attest that. But I guess there are certain aspect in life that you should take seriously. Differentiating them is the lesson life gives you.
“people with good sense of humor have a better sense of life” REALLY NOW
Lastly, (thank God), Go out of your way to be loving and kind to others too
Heh, this is hard. I have been known to be maldita and judgemental. How do I stop?
“people who love themselves come across as very caring, generous, and kind to others too”
so today, I will try to be loving and caring. It is hard. But I will really try to go out of my way to do this. I hope everyone does, to make this life a better place.
Parting thoughts: Start looking at yourself more. Notice yourself more. Eventually, you’ll realize you love yourself more. You have nothing else, but yourself, so you really don’t have a choice. I know I will do the same. This will be my self-help blog for loving myself. I will keep you posted on my “progress”, if there’s any.
Cheerios.
#tldr#longpost#howtoloveyourself#love#yourself#selflove#medical#medicalstudent#blog#progress#progressnotes#learningtolove
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