#(50 years ago...) cut to her in a retirement home

[musubiki]

Madame Springs: back in my youth

*ripple effect as we cut into flashback*

Madame Springs: *walks around corner still tiny and still old* I got into an argument with the old crow witch 35 years ago and-

Oscar: wait wtf how do you still look the same!? This is supposed to be 35 years ago!?!? …wait damn how old are you now?? You still looked like this back th-

Madame Springs: *BONK* you’re not supposed to be able to see that

LMFAOOOOOF HJKDSAHFJKDFHK "BACK IN MY YOUTH...." (LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME) IS PEAK HUMOR

#(50 years ago...) cut to her in a retirement home #(50 YEARS AGO?!!?! MORE LIKE YESTERDAY) #oscars unfiltered comments earn him quite a few whacks

[yourlocaltrashpandaxoxo]

Punch Out Women's Bracket OCs! (World Circuit)

The boys have had their turn so now it's time for the girls! They're back and better than ever! Name: Chatty Charmer/Clarissa Benoit Age: 33 Height: 5'9 Weight: 135lbs Nationality: African-American-French Position: #3 World Circuit Record: 16-8 (8 KO) Stance: Orthodox (Right-Handed) "The heel-clicking, toe-tapping, jazz-loving sweetie all the way from New Orleans, Clarissa lives up to her stage name as she is most definitely a charmer! Whether she's tap-dancing on the side of the street for folks or performing a jazz number inside of a grand performance hall, she always knows how to attract a crowd and boxing is no different! When she retires, she still wants to find a way to keep that dancing soul of hers going"

Name: Frosty Bites/Greta Astrid Winters Age: Late 50s Height: 6'4 Weight: 172lbs Nationality: Russian Position: #2 World Circuit Record: 18-7 (12 KO) Stance: Orthodox (Right-Handed) "Hailing from an unknown part of Russia and terrifying most that stand in her path, Frosty is a hardened old bird with a heart of cold. She's never seen smiling, not even when she's happy, and always seems to have an icy glare in her eyes. When she isn't shoulder-bashing fools in the boxing ring, she's at her little cottage knitting or wrestling with her pet polar bear, Nikolai. Needless to say, this is one granny who you don't want to fuck with" Name: Belle Bull/Ceyda Gozu Age: 35 Height: 6'1 Weight: 162lbs Nationality: Turkish Position: #1 World Circuit Record: 16-7 (14 KO) Stance: Orthodox (Right-Handed) "A gruff woman with an incredible beastly temper if you manage to rile her up enough, this rugged beaut was a former model and wrestler before deciding to make the switch over to boxing. Upon her arrival at the WVBA, she locked eyes with Bald Bull and the two fell for each other in and instant. Bull knew he wanted to put a ring on it when he saw her threatening to gut a paparazzi member like a fish. How... romantic..." Name: Phoenix Burns/Bridgett MacKenzie Age: 30 Height: 6' Weight: 138lbs Nationality: Scottish-Irish Position: World Circuit Champion Record: 18-9 (11 KO) Stance: Orthodox (Right-Handed) "Long ago, Phoenix had a long row with her mother and ran away from her little home in Scotland to go commit petty crimes like theft and arson to vent out her anger. Her fiery talents were picked up by a travelling circus group and she was brought along with them for a good few years. Unfortunately, that career was cut short after an accident that left her with the signature burn scar on her face. Now, she sits atop the World Circuit as champion, burning down all who dare get in her way."

#punch out #punch out oc #chatty charmer #frosty bites #belle bull #phoenix burns #world circuit ladies #(HERE ARE THE WORLD LADIES)

[gubler-me-up]

SNEAK PEEK: Birds of a Feather

Here's a lil sneak peek of what I'm currently working on. Hope you like where it's going so far and don't be afraid to comment/ask me anything about it!

Request: Hi! I really love your writing and I’d like to make a request! Can you write a Spencer x black!fem! Reader where the reader is related to Derek and shares his same flirtatious personality? Spencer would appreciate the attention from her but would never think she’s serious and she makes it very known to him that she’s fallen for him hard.

-------------

Your big brother was turning the big 50. You couldn’t believe how much time flew by. At one point, he was just your big brother. Now he was a father, retired FBI agent, loving husband, and an avid home renovator. You couldn’t be prouder of him. All that said, you weren’t just at his big 50th birthday celebration to see him.

Throughout the few hours you were there helping set up for the occasion with Savannah, your mind kept thinking about when a particular genius would come by. Would he be late or would he be early? Would he even come at all? It was borderline inappropriate how much you thought about him throughout the day instead of focusing on your brothers party. 

It was hard focusing on anything else when all you could do was remember all the times you had interacted with him over the years. You’d never tell Derek, but you found it so fun flirting with Spencer and seeing him blush and fluster his words around you. It made you happy knowing you could make a talkative genius stumble over his words. The last time you two had spoken with each other, he was brave enough to flirt back and it still lingered in your mind for years.

Something about him was so interesting to you. So much so, you couldn’t help thinking of ways you’d wiggle yourself into a conversation with him. He could be talking about the galaxy with a group of friends at the party and you’d find a way to make him notice you in the room. A small flirty wave, wink and genuine smile from you would make him buckle at the knees. Well, at least the last time you two had interacted and that was just over two years ago.

Your thoughts were cut short by the doorbell ringing. You whipped your head around and saw Savannah walking towards the door. You immediately rushed passed her leaving a gust of wind behind you. You looked back to see the surprised expression on her face as you rushed to the door.

“I’ll get it. You can continue setting up,” you said.

“You seem eager,” she pointed out.

“I just love parties,” you said, brushing off her comment.

She giggled and let you be as you continued your race towards the door. As you approached, you calmed down your steps. You didn’t want to blow your naturally cool and collected exterior by revealing your giddy insides. You were about to open the door, but it was opened from the other side. You waited in confusion as the door opened all the way.

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #spencer reid x black reader

[hosannachicago]

Blueberry Pancakes

Fandom: Chicago Fire Pairings: Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide, Jeff Clarke/Kelly Severide  Content Warnings: Major Character Death, Grief After the Death of a Spouse, Polyamory  Summary: 25+ years in the future, Kelly and Jeff go out for breakfast the morning Matt dies. 

This is just a sad little blurb I wrote while I was in a sad little mood. Don’t read it unless you want to be sad too. I don’t consider this canon to my “Pants on Fire” AU – it’s just one of many possible futures for the characters. In fact, if it makes you feel better, I can guarantee this isn’t how things would “really” end up going in that AU. 

I will in no way be offended if you decide this fic is too sad for you and keep on scrolling, though. 💔 

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Two and a half hours after Matt Casey died, Jeff parked outside a diner a few blocks from the nursing home, glancing worriedly at his boyfriend. The windshield wipers stopped squeaking as he cut the motor, and for a moment, the only sounds were Kelly’s ragged breathing, the wind, and the rain. 

“Kelly, are you sure?” 

Nodding, Kelly unbuckled his seatbelt. “I’m hungry.” 

Jeff wanted to point out that drive-thrus and delivery and the pancake mix they had at home were all options, but nothing in his boyfriend’s expression indicated willingness to listen to reason. His husband was dead, and he wanted blueberry pancakes. They were going to get blueberry pancakes. 

Sighing, Jeff grabbed his wallet and followed his silver-haired boyfriend inside. Kelly didn’t wait, striding across the parking lot as though the diner was on fire. It had been seven years since Kelly responded to a fire, and a lot longer than that for Jeff – but he found himself wishing one would break out now. 

Using his sleeve to wipe the water from his face, Jeff followed Kelly to a table at the very back of the diner, right next to the men’s bathroom. At least he seemed to have an exit strategy. He took the seat across from his boyfriend, who immediately grabbed a menu and held it up in front of his face, as if he actually needed to read it after eating breakfast at this diner three or four times each week for the past year. 

“Two black coffees, please,” Jeff said with a smile to the young waitress, a high school student who probably had no idea what she was in for that morning. He would make sure they left her an extra nice tip. 

“And orange juice,” Kelly added flatly from behind the menu. 

“Are you ready to order your meals?” she asked sweetly. 

Jeff glanced over at the menu obscuring his boyfriend. It didn’t answer, so he smiled at the waitress again, shaking his head. “I think we need a moment.” 

Kelly was silent for a few seconds, then quietly asked, “Did you call Gabby?” 

Jeff nodded, even though the menu didn’t have eyes to see the gesture. “Yeah. She and Shay will talk to Andy once she’s up.” 

“And Ben…” Kelly added. 

“Griffin will call Ben once the sun is up on the west coast,” Jeff assured him. All of these plans had been made months ago, but he understood Kelly’s need to hear them confirmed out loud right now. He lived for taking care of his family, especially since retiring from his job as a CFD battalion chief. 

Of course, that included not just his own two children – or four, including Griffin and Ben – but all of the firefighters he’d served with and many of their kids as well. Even keeping the funeral private for just the people Matt considered family, the guest list was well above 50. As Kelly commented while they were planning the last-minute details with the funeral home, that was a lot of love for a man who’d been on his own at 18. 

“So I just need to call Christie.” 

“Yeah,” Jeff confirmed. He’d known Matt’s older sister for 25 years, but she still hadn’t warmed to his existence. He’d offered to call Matt’s niece Violet instead, but Kelly had decided he would deal with that side of the family himself. 

“After breakfast,” Kelly said. 

“Yeah,” Jeff nodded again. “After breakfast.” 

A slightly wrinkled hand made its way around the side of the menu, fingers wiggling in invitation. Jeff took it, idly rubbing his thumb against the plain gunmetal wedding band that had decorated Kelly’s finger for most of the time Jeff had known him. Matt’s matching ring sat safely in a box on Kelly’s dresser, having become too large to stay put on his finger long ago. 

“Okay,” Kelly said with more confidence, putting the menu down. His eyes and nose were red from crying, but nobody glancing at him in passing would guess that his husband just passed away. His smile was muted, but sincere, as he looked Jeff in the eye. “Food, then call, then cry, then sleep.” 

Jeff smiled encouragingly back at him. “Almost. Coffee, then food, then call, then cry, then sleep.” 

The waitress dropped off their beverages, and Kelly ordered his stack of blueberry pancakes. Jeff didn’t dare to order the chocolate chip – Matt’s favorite – so he had also had blueberry, hoping solidarity was the way to go. 

A smile grew across Kelly’s face while he sipped his orange juice. At Jeff’s questioning look, his eyes crinkled with suppressed laughter as he shook his head. 

“Just remembering something Matt and I talked about once. It’s private.” 

Despite his relief at seeing Kelly so at peace in the moment, Jeff had to hide his own shaky smile behind his coffee mug. He knew that in a way, Matt’s death marked the end of seven years of anticipatory grief. Kelly’s soul seemed lighter walking out of the nursing home than when they walked in the night before. Jeff suspected that when the hospice nurse opened the window, many of Kelly’s fears flew away, too. 

But Jeff knew a crash was coming, and he just hoped Kelly’s hit first. Preferably sometime after they ate their pancakes and made it back to the privacy of the car. He would rather not end the morning of his best friend’s death holding his weeping boyfriend in a public restroom, but he had two clean handkerchiefs in his pocket, just in case. 

“Do you remember if Mateo was flying into Midway or O’Hare?” Kelly asked as the waitress placed their pancakes on the table. 

“O’Hare,” Jeff answered, letting go of Kelly’s hand to reach for the maple syrup. 

Although Mateo’s name often made people assume he was named after Matt, Kelly and Matt adopted him when he was eight. He was almost 30 now, and in the third year of his neurology residency in Baltimore. Andrea, meanwhile, was named after Andy Darden, and she was starting her sophomore year of college that fall. 

A little more than halfway through his pancakes, Kelly’s fork began to shake in his hand. Jeff observed without comment, waiting for his boyfriend to need him to act. 

“Do you want to go?” he asked when Kelly laid the fork on his plate. He was already standing as Kelly nodded, pulling a reasonable amount of cash from his wallet to leave on the table. 

“Come here,” Jeff said gently, putting his arm around Kelly’s waist to guide him quickly towards the door. 

“Sorry,” Kelly barely whispered. 

“Don’t be,” Jeff murmured. “Did you get enough to eat?” 

“Yeah,” Kelly croaked, walking out into the drizzling rain. “Might need to change the order of events for the rest of the morning, though.” 

“Cry, then call, then sleep?” Jeff asked. 

“Cry, then sleep, then call,” Kelly answered. “Just a little sleep. Like in the car on the way…” He paused, swallowing thickly. “On the way home.” 

“How about you cry, then sleep, and I cry, then call Violet?” Jeff offered. “Or I can ask Gabby or Shay or Stella or Katie or Chloe or Cruz or Herrmann or Blake or Griffin or…” 

He heard himself begin to babble, listing names of people who could call Christie for them. Beside him, Kelly laughed through his tears. 

“Okay. I think Violet would be okay with hearing the news from you, if that’s okay. She’s always liked you.” 

“Of course,” Jeff assured him. “I’m here for you, baby. Whatever you need.” 

“I think I need a hug.” 

Even though it was raining and they were in the middle of a parking lot, Jeff didn’t hesitate to pull his trembling boyfriend into his arms. Kelly slowly exhaled, pressing his tear-soaked face against Jeff’s rain-soaked neck. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

#my fics #pants on fire bonus scenes #sevasey

[fancoloredglasses]

The Dark Knight Returns Part 3: “Hunt the Dark Knight” (When things start going FUBAR)

(Thanks to Amazon)

[All images are owned by DC Comics and WarnerMedia. I hope I’m too small-fry to sue...]  

PREVIOUSLY ON...

Bruce Wayne (now in his late 50s/early 60s) dons the cape and cowl 10 years after retiring, sparking a lot of controversy about Batman’s violent methods, including from psychiatrist Bartholomew Wolper.

Dr. Wolper, coincidentally, is overseeing the treatment of the Joker, who (not coincidentally) has awakened from a catatonic state following the Batman’s return.

Meanwhile, the threat of a murderous street gang known as the Mutants has been neutralized by Batman by publicly defeating and humiliating their leader. Those who were not arrested have splintered into smaller gangs (including the Sons Of the Batman, who have become vigilantes themselves...though with fewer moral codes than their inspiration)

Now, on with our story. If you would like to read the graphic novel of the series, it’s available in most comic ships and bookstores. If you would like to view the film, it’s available on Amazon Prime behind the paywall.

We pick up the story three months after the Mutants disbanded.

Yep, this again. This time the debate isn’t so much on Batman as the Sons of the Batman, who are still as murderous as the Mutants but aimed at criminals instead of innocents.

Meanwhile at Arkham Asylum Home for the Emotionally Troubled, a certain green-haired individual has completely returned to lucidity...

...and being treated by Dr. Wolper (because he did such a bang up job with Harvey Dent) The Joker manages to manipulate Dr. Wolper into getting him on a talk show to tell his side of things (oh, you KNOW that won’t end well!)

Sure enough, Dr. Wolper gets the Joker booked on the David Endocrine Show. Plenty of people who remember 10 years ago are in an uproar, though the network is chomping at the bit at the expected ratings.

Meanwhile, Batman’s renewed activities have gotten the attention of the White House, and given this is 1985, you know the President loves the sort of theatrics Batman brings to Gotham, but still...

In fact, let’s cut to the White House, where President Ronald Reagan is briefing an agent specializing on overseas dealings about Batman, saying in a different time he’d likely give Batman a medal. However, this is a different time and Batman needs to calm down.

His agent promises to see what he can do.

That night, a convenience store is being held up by a splinter gang known as the Brunos. “Bruno” is a woman with a similar haircut to Rob and Don (above) and built like a linebacker. The store owner distracts the Brunos long enough to grab the revolver under his counter and get the drop on them. However...

Yeah, that’s Bruno (who apparently is somehow hooked up with the Joker. I had no idea Arkham allowed conjugal visits) She’s tough enough to go in public wearing nothing but swastika pasties. Bruno threatens to paint her boys’ outfits with the owner’s brains when an old woman comes out from behind the stack complaining about the price of her hooch. Don decides to make an example out of her, but...

...she’s got some fight in her. Bruno and Rob start firing at her, then she disarms them with a Batarang (yeah, it’s him) Bruno flees the scene with Batman in pursuit. The owner decides to get some payback on Rob, but Batman gives a friendly warning that if he kills Rob...

[Meanwhile on the streets of Gotham...

...something moves faster than a speeding bullet.]

Robin draws Bruno into a nearby alley, where Batman corners her and demands to know Joker’s upcoming TV appearance.

[Meanwhile at a nearby subway station, three people are accidentally knocked onto the tracks as the train approaches! Suddenly...

...the train is stopped by something more powerful than a locomotive.]

As Batman gets a bit rough on Bruno, the ground trembles and a wall explodes, sending Batman flying. Bruno gets to her feet and opens fire on the man behind the wall, but I’m sure you can guess how well that goes for her.

Suddenly the man’s eyes turn red and her gun heats up. He then takes some pipes and ties her up with them, allowing Batman to deliver the knockout punch.

Batman tells him to come by in the morning and to go away until then. With that, the man leaves...

...leaping over a tall building in a single bound.

On the news...

...the island nation of Corto Maltese is the subject of increased tensions between the US and the Soviet Union (See kids, the USSR wasn’t just a place mentioned in a Beatles song!) President Reagan has a press conference about the conflict, but the questions eventually come back around to Gotham.

As far as the State level (just what state is Gotham City in, anyway?), the Governor says it’s up to the Deputy Mayor to deal with. The Mayor says they have a perfectly capable Commissioner starting her tenure shortly who can decide what the policy is on the Batman (whatever happened to “The buck stops here”?)

Speaking of the Commissioner, there is a dinner that evening commemorating James Jordon’s retirement. Gordon speaks about the trials Yindel will face, including whether to treat Batman as an ally or enemy. Yindel then takes the podium...

Whelp, so much for being an ally.

The next morning at he grounds of Wayne Manor...

(Thanks to citiprime)

With the boys done measuring the length of their capes, Superman flies off to Corto Maltese, where Americans on Soviets are fighting over who gets to install their puppet government freedom vs. tyranny when...

Well, I don’t know about Truth and Justice, but I’d say he’s still fighting for the American Way (or at least for the American government)

Back on the home front, at Arkham Joker is visited by...

one of his old henchmen (the guy who built all his gadgets...and was the one who tampered with Harvey Dent’s bombs in the comic version of Part 1), who quietly gives his support for whatever he has planned for the evening.

That evening, as David Endocrine...OK, gotta pause here as here is a major difference in the visuals between the comic and the film. in the film, this is David Endocrine...

...voiced by Conan O’Brien (with Conan’s sidekick Andy Richter voicing David’s sidekick Frank. However, in the comic it’s pretty obvious who David Endocrine is supposed to be...

(Thanks to Batman Fandom)

...and yes, there’s a Paul Shaffer stand-in (named Paul. Go fig) as well.

Anyway, as David is preparing for his guest for the evening, Commissioner Yindel has the outside of the building crawling with cops (whether to nab the Joker when the inevitable happens or to nab Batman when he tries to stop the Joker is anyone’s guess)

Meanwhile, Batman and Robin are en route, with Robin given strict orders to stay in the copter and Don’t Touch Anything! (under threat of being cut loose) With that, Batman jumps into the fray.

Batman does his best to not actually injure the cops as he neutralizes them, but he gets no closer to entering the building. And if you think Robin’s just gonna sit on her hands...

When she realizes the Batcopter won’t follow her verbal orders, she reprograms it.

Meanwhile, at the evening’s taping of the David Endocrine Show...

(Thanks to MegaPCX)

Another quick note here: in the comic, the Joker’s killing spree is started when he kisses a Dr. Ruth stand-in (for the kids out there, Dr. Ruth Westheimer was a (in the 80s) 50-something woman who made a living giving sexual advice)...

(Thanks to CBR)

...while wearing lipstick laced with his smile toxin. (Don’t worry, Dr. Wolper still gets what’s coming to him in this version as well)

Meanwhile on the roof, the numbers game is finally catching up with Batman when Robin finishes her reprogramming. She flies in close to pick up Batman before flying away.

Despite his threats before the fight...

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think Batman’s developing a soft spot for his latest sidekick.

On the news, Corto Maltese is under a media blackout.

(almost like Reagan doesn’t want anyone to know about his pet super hero)

Meanwhile stateside...

(I would say it looks like Catwoman’s left the criminal world, but I guess that depends on the type of “escorts” Selina employs)

Selina has a visitor...a rather pasty and green-haired one.

Joker kisses Selina while wearing a narcotic lipstick that renders her willing to do him a favor involving one of her employees (whose client for the evening is a Congressman...)

After loaning the employee his lipstick, she has a favor to ask of the Congressman...

...that is plastered all over the news. The Congressman is demanding a preemptive nuclear strike against Corto Maltese before the Soviets can launch their own.

Needless to say, this draws Batman’s attention. Unfortunately, the Congressman loses his balance and falls out of his flag, making a rather lewd street pizza below.

Commissioner Yindel is quickly on the scene to take charge.

She briefs one of the Detectives on the scene that Selina Kyle is a suspect, given one of her employees was seen with the Congressman. O’Halleran leaves for Kyle Escorts when...

Yindel’s keen mind realizes that one of these men is not the real Lt. O’Halleran and tells her men to stop the first, who then sprints to the waiting Batcycle. Yindel then sends everything she has to Kyle Escorts.

Fortunately, Batman arrives first.

OK, I know the Joker’s supposed to be insane, but this is just twisted! Robin finds a cone of cotton candy on the floor, to which Batman guesses the Joker’s hitting the fairgrounds next.

OK, this just got personal!

Then Yindel and the SWAT team show up, so Batman has Robin bring in the Batwing and the pair jump out the window. However, as they strap themselves in...

Robin’s harness snaps and she falls!

Fortunately, Batman has a very grabbable cape. Batman carefully pulls her up and holds on to her.

Upon seeing that Batman has a Robin, Yindel adds child endangerment to the growing list of charges against Batman.

At the fairgrounds...

Oh, this will not end well! It’s not shown in the film, but I’m sure you can guess what happens to those cub scouts in the comic when they eat that cotton candy.

Then the Batwing shows up. Joker sends his henchman to deal with Robin while he takes care of Batman.

Joker takes a hostage, however...

...Batman’s not playing around tonight! Joker runs into the Hall of Mirrors and grabs another hostage as Batman stalks after him. Batman manages to separate the Joker from his hostage, but...

Tag! You’re it, Batman!

Meanwhile on the roller coaster...

...Robin has her hands full. She manages to kick her assailant off and he lands on the chain that drags the coasters uphill. It catches on his sweater and does its job, dragging him away from Robin. Unfortunately, the top of the chain has a bunch of gears that...

Well, that’s one down.

As for the other...

(Thanks to Bruce Huang)

Oh, you know Yindel’s gonna add this to the list! Thus ends Part 3.

#DC comics #batman #the joker #superman #Fan Colored Glasses

[rabchunter]

Just spreading a little mid week humour 😂

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

_____________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school

reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his

drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed,

"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking

right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he

hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on

celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,

making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing

scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into

the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again

I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the

grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

_____________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the

boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential

downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather

would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;

now with a different anticipation,

and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

_______________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......

______________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply

for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me

for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets

and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that

I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped

your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,

"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you

to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started........

________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'

So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

That's how the fight started.

________________________________

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot

as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift

When she asked me why, I replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.

ahahahhahahahhaha😂 😂 😂 😂

[badjokesbyjeff]

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

_____________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man

swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed,

"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again.

I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

_____________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

_______________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......

______________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped

your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,

"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started........

________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'

So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

That's how the fight started.

________________________________

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.

#funny #humor #jokes #lol #comedy

[desi-lgbt-fest]

Day 5: Platonic

A story I wrote for today's prompt. It's a story about two middle aged men realising the happiness they want can come in many different forms.

1. 8 k words.

Cw: Mild homophobia. Incorrect language. It's indicative of character's understanding, not mine.

...

When Vikram Kumar first transferred to their branch, Nath wasn't impressed. Theirs was a small transport company, still somehow holding on against the giants of the industry. They were doing well for themselves; they had branches in few neighbouring states where the business was concentrated. And yeah, the company policy does state that employees should get transferred around every 4 years or so. But that never really happened. Nath had been working at Gada transport ltd for more than 25 years now and the only way anybody new ever came in the office was if someone died or retired.

That was what had happened. Another clerk, Nisha Bhagwan, had a heart attack at the computer and in came Vikram Kumar, a transfer from Nagpur. The office people took to him like animals take to the new clown at the circus. Nobody was really sad about Mrs Bhagwan's passing. She was old and in an office full of other old people, they were just waiting for the hat to drop on someone. Better Mrs Bhagwan than us.

They inquired after him, after his family, his mother's family, his neighbour's family, his neighbour's dog's family. When they found out that he was divorced and currently living in a sketchy hotel, they immediately turned to Nath.

Nath, or Adinath, as his name was, owned two flats in his society. Two flats side by side, one in which he lived. He very famously refused to rent it out to families or students or single women. Which meant, he never really rented it out. It actually quite suited to his own solitary silent life. But he regretted boasting about it in the office because here came his perfect rent.

"I- uh. The apartment is very dirty and I'd have to clean it," he started making excuses.

Vikram Kumar shrugged. "I don't mind. Better than listening to the sex noises coming from the side wall." Raucous laughter emerged, unhampered by the fact that their only woman employee wasn't there anymore.

Nath couldn't say no.

Vikram Kumar did turn out to be an ideal renter. He was silent. No guests. Rent, which Nath had kept a little high to dissuade, always on time. Sometimes old hindi songs drifted from his flat but Nath didn't mind. As his novelty wore off and office people stopped fawning over him, Nath did find himself to be quite okay with Vikram Kumar's existence.

A distinct mark in his favour was that he didn't laugh when at their regular chai break (5 minute break that always turned into a 45 minute one) the others made him familiar with Nath's title as the resident Bramhachari.

"Never married, never looks at a woman," Bhosle, their manager remarked.

"Hey you remember that time when that bombshell came in complaining about some lost package? Nath did not even look away from her face."

"Pakka gentleman, I tell you. He's not the customer complaint manager for nothing."

Everybody guffawed. Nath gave his regular pained smile. Vikram Kumar smiled back. For a moment, Nath thought it was a smile of understanding.

Eventually, Nath started offering Vikram Kumar a ride home on his ancient scooter. He obliged. When the ride turned regular, Vikram Kumar started contributing for petrol. Another mark in his favour.

13 months later, Vivek Chand, accountant, retired. In came a new hire, Ashalata Waad.

Suddenly many colleagues started turning up in pressed shirts and oiled hair. Nath merely shook his head and laughed at their preening. It was their colleagues' turn to laugh when Ms. Ashalata, recently widowed, took to Nath. Furtive smiles. Sympathy over dealing with difficult clients. Nath of course did not notice. But the other colleagues did. And out of sympathy for Ms Ashalata's feelings, they gently took her to a side after a week or so and directed her towards someone more likely to respond; the new divorcee, Vikram Kumar.

That, Nath certainly noticed.

That evening, Nath left without offering a ride to him.

Next morning, everyone noticed the distinct coldness between Ms Ashalata and Vikram Kumar. It was a long day too. Some trouble with licensing of a large shipment, everybody had to stay behind. It was well over 8 when people started leaving. Vikram came over to Nath's desk and tapped on it.

"I don't think this late I will find a riksha like yesterday. Will you please give a ride home?"

Nath sighed. He wasn't petty after all. Well, not much.

The streets were near empty. Theirs was a small town. One that eats at 8 and sleeps at 10. Nath's scooter cut through the silence and the sickly orange lights of the streetlamps like an interloper. They were crossing the Hutatma Chauk when Vikram asked him to stop.

"What for?"

"It was a long and stressful day. I wanted us a relax a bit at the park bench before we go home."

"I'm not going-"

"Please yaar."

Nath sighed.

Stopping the scooter at side, they both walked to the circle where statue of some forgotten freedom fighter stood, benches around it. Surprisingly, there were some people ambling around. Old couples taking a rest from nightly walk. A group of youngsters.

After having the sound of scooter in the ears for past five minutes, the sudden silence was deafening.

"I don't think Ms Waad would be talking to me again," Vikram Kumar started without preamble, a laughter in his voice.

Nath sighed and ran a hand through in thin hair. "You didn't do any-"

"No no, oh god no! I just said I'm not interested. I think that was enough for her to be offended."

"She's not your type?" he probed gently, curious.

Vikram was silent for a moment and then burst out with sudden emotion, "Why does it matter? Why one single woman and one single man can not stay without having an affair? Ye saala bollywood-" Nath hushed him, noticing the people around.

"Sorry." Vikram said, taking a deep breath to calm himself down.

"I get it. Years ago, when I told my father I was gay-"

"You're what??"

Nath felt like he made a tremendous mistake in judgement. But he was a grown man dammit, he will hold his ground!

"I said I am gay." Nath held his gaze. Vikram Kumar stared back, unknown range of emotions passing. Eventually he broke the gaze, ran a hand through his own balding hair and sat back.

He shook his head. "I am not gay, if that's why you-"

"That wasn't-"

"I'm NOT. I like women. I- I mean men are good too. I. I don't-"

Nath couldn't help it. He broke into a loud laugh. Like Vikram had performed some excellent comedy sketch.

Vikram punched him lightly on his shoulder, a smile evident on his face.

"I just meant, men, women. All are same to me. Honestly, I didn't mind being married to Sheela. I provided for her, I cared for her wellbeing. Our.. bedroom relations were less ideal but I didn't shut her out. I did my duty."

"I'm guessing she wanted someone who didn't see her as a duty?"

Vikram shrugged. "She was nice about it. Told me plain and simple she found someone else. We didn't have kids. It was easy. Well. As easy as it could be. She told the court I was impotent for swift divorce. I agreed. It caused drama in families though, which is why I asked for a transfer."

"Mrs Bhagwan died at a really opportune moment then."

They both shared a laugh and things fell silent once again.

"So you are... one of those," Vikram tried to say casually.

The elderly couple had left. A newly wed looking one took their place. Nath suddenly felt he was thrown back in time.

"I don't have much family," he started. "Mother died when I was young. Theirs was a love marriage, quite unusual for the times. They had run away and so had lost their families. My father raised me well enough; started pestering me for marriage when I got the job at 22. I kept avoiding for few years. But eventually I had to tell him. I wasn't going to ruin some poor woman's life." Nath looked pointedly at Vikram. Vikram didn't take offence. Just laughed self-consciously. Mark in his favour etc etc.

"Father raged for days. Didn't raise his hand on me, didn't tell anyone else but we fought a lot. It wasn't that he denied my condition. He just wanted a family. On some level we understood each other. I realise it now. I knew he wanted me to marry because he didn't want his hard fought family to die with me. And I guess, he probably knew what it meant to love someone you weren't supposed to.

He died soon after."

"When you were thirty, I remember you telling me."

Nath nodded. "I was free. I had a place of my own. A job. No family to hide myself from. I felt guilty over feeling relieved. I felt angry at being guilty. Then came sadness over being angry. That sadness stayed for a decade."

Vikram asked, "So you never...?

Nath shook out of his trip to memory lane. "Hm?"

"Are you? A bramhachari? Did you ever find-"

"There were some men here and there. Obviously there wasn't going to be a relationship," Nath scoffed. "If you know where to look, you can find release. But after Father died, I don't know, I rarely ever went looking for anybody. I didn't have it in me."

Vikram laughed. "Look at us. Two old men, all on their own, no happy family for us."

"Speak for yourself, I'm barely a day over 40," said the man, almost 50.

Vikram laughed again, looking at him with such fondness in his eyes. Nath felt sharp fear for a moment. Then he decided to be an adult again.

"You look well for your age too."

"Nath..."

Nath shivered at hearing his name. It was an intimate name. People didn't say it much. But it fit in Vikram's mouth.

"I don't want to change anything," Vikram said. "I'm happy as things are. It's ideal. I can't offer anything more."

Nath got up, brushing dust from his pants. It had gotten late. They were alone at the circle. A vehicle passing by to remind them of the world that exists.

"I'll take whatever you can offer," he said, looking away from him.

"Friendship? For as long as I live?" Vikram held out his hand.

Nath looked at it. Big, warm. Hairy. Pale skin where the wedding ring used to sit. He extended his own and took it.

"As long as I live."

... Let me know if you like it enough to see some other prompts involving them... I have so many headcanons for them.

#In case anybody was wondering they stayed in their own flats but Nath stopped taking rent from him #My OCs are real romantic I tell you #Desi LGBT Fest #Gaysis 2021 #30dpc: day 5 #platonic #short story #mlm #gay #asexual #aromantic #queer platonic relationship #cw mild homophobia #desi tag #desi lgbt #desi queer #desi pride #desiblr #pride month #desi gay #south asia #queer #queer representation #old gays

[dogmeatthedead]

How Deathstroke and Wintergreen met

Best friends; they can be a good influence or someone that you raise hell with. The friendship between Slade Wilson and William Wintergreen most definitely falls squarely into the latter. From heroic deeds, to not so heroic ones, from emotional moments to silly pranks, they seem to be best of friends. So where did this deep bond come from and just how strong is it really? But before that I want to talk real quick about their relationship. Don't get me wrong, I love it, I really do but....... it's not exactly healthy. I'm not saying its bad, just that its maybe not the healthiest. 

^some fanart I commissioned years ago now

This is a quick introduction, and talks the most about loyalty, so you won't understand what I'm talking about here. I just wanted to keep this relativity short because trust me, I could keep going on and on, but this is just the introduction if you will before I go on about the more complicated stuff.

Which version can I trust?

As so many things are with comic continuity, there are multiple different origins, however rather than go for the total slap in the face that is the version from Deathstroke rebirth, I shall go with the far superior Pre New 52’s version.

The Beginning 

Ironically, it all began because Slade and Will switched roles.

Now I do have a purpose for saying this. Slade is the “villain” of the friendship, while Will is often seen as the moral compass; and while I do have issues with this form of classification, it works with what I’m trying to say. The direct cause of their friendship was that Slade acted morally while Will broke regs. The man whose orders Slade disobeyed is named Sampson, remember that, it’ll become important later.

The manner in which they met reflects their future relationship, which is to say that when Will stopped Slade from getting beat up it established that they would trade off helping each other.

The beginning may have showed how they met but let’s move onto how they became friends.

Establishing of the friendship

There early friendship seems to be heavily based on trading life debts/ getting people out of fights.

As mentioned above, They met because Will won a fight for Slade, but Will got another win after Samson, still upset over Slade disobeying him, sent a young Slade on a suicide mission. However the universe is a dick and the mission was a success however Slade was caught in an explosion.

This time Will broke ranks and saved Slade, something that Sampson never forgot and as Will says next he faced the wrath of General Sampson.

But rather than that, we need to take a detour first.

My classmate who is in the army, and from what I’ve witnessed for my self in the little time that I’ve served is that once you make a friend in the military, you’re friends for life. You don’t need to keep in contact, but once you see each other again, no matter how long you’ve been apart, its like you were never away.

Which is pretty clearly what happened here.

Will was then Slade’s best man, and so far as cannon tells, they were never separated again. From best man Will stayed at Slade’s side during the enhancements, and fought the government to see Slade when the tests went south.

Slade repays his life debt 

Remember when Wintergreen disobeyed Sampson aka king of sending people on death missions? Well Sampson did it again. 

He assigned Will on a job which failed, and resulted in Will being captured and tortured by the vietcong. Sampson knew that Will’s heart would have failed and he wouldn’t have survived his captivity.

Slade was not stationed with Will during this mission, rather he found out that Will had been captured a week after Joey was born. At this point, Slade was stationed as a desk jockey in the Army. After he got his enchantments Slade’s powers fluctuated between super strength and being paralyzed. The army declared his unfit to serve in action and this jaded Slade towards them so that when his powers stabilized, he hid it from them knowing that if he told them, and work he was wouldn’t have been offered in sincerity. For someone like Slade, that would have been hell. Anyway, that’s why he wasn’t stationed with Wintergreen. 

Slade showed up anyway and saved Will in the garish outfit. An amusing look at Deathstroke's proto suit.

Look not that this matters or is relevant but this whole scene is part of why I think that Rebirth’s story is just plainly bad. Obligatory in my opinion disclaimer.  When they meet in rebirth Slade and Will don’t know each other, there's no connection. Unlike DS classic where they start their relationship off with Wintergreen (who one could argue is the weaker in the relationship normally) is in the position of power. It establishes that Slade started his career out as the student and as a flawed human thus perversely mirroring his relationships with other character. Honestly I could make a whole post on just this but I wanted to add it. 

Plus Slade’s proto suit in rebirth is bland and uninspired. It totally lacks personality, yeah it “looks better” but I never thought that this suit was meant to look good, it looks like he made it to scare the living shit out of people like a jungle god or someshit. Okay mini rant over.

Remember Sampson? Yeah I’ve mentioned him a few times. Anyway, after Slade saved Will Sampson essentially forced Slade into retirement.

Forced out of a commission that he EARNED for being a damn amazing soldier, not viz blackmail. F*ck you very much Priest!

Moving forward

Slade needs both someone to love and someone to love him (one of the only things Priest and I agree on) After Addie shot Slade, Will took her place.

  There really isn’t all that much more to talk about without rehashing almost the entirety of the 90’s run.

Let’s review

Slade and Will became friends and stayed friends due to a “horse’s ass of a soldier” named Sampson, would continue being best of friends through tragedy and at least one divorce (Not counting Will’s vaguely mentioned ones which would bring the score up to a shared five)

So their best friends, but just how loyal are they?

Short, boring answer? Extremely.

Longer, more fun answer? Let’s look at a few of my favorite examples.

This is from the Sins of the Father arc from the first run (an arc that I can’t recommend enough by the way.) Wherein the sins committed by Will’s father comes back to haunt him. Slade and Will “commandeer” a plane, and in the process Will almost gets cut in half by the plane’s wing before Slade saves him.

All taken from issue 50 of the original run, (Part of the crime boss crossover arc I think.) Slade is going on what looked like a death mission, and he laments not having Wintergreen besides him. Que Will showing up, and for the first time in (I’m pretty sure at least) the whole arc, Slade smiles.

I could use these images as being proof enough alone, but I though I’d add the others as well.

“What are you talking about? Will’s just sitting there.”

Yeah, its plain and kinda boring, but the context is that Will is sitting there outside the operating room just waiting for Slade to get out after he was in an explosion. I don’t know why, but this just hits me in the feels for some reason. He doesn’t say anything to Steel, but its like he’s saying where else would I be? Slade was with Will when he was in hospital in Germany, and even set up a hospital at his house so that Will could recover from injuries at home. Where else would Will be when Slade is hurt. He said it best-  they’ve been with each other countless times at deaths door, they’ve been each others everything for  over 25 years.

#but dc still won't let them get together #talk about natural build up #deathstroke #Slade Wilson #william wintergreen #MarvStroke #Winton #sladebilly

[intubatedangel]

Cold Snap: Chapter 1

I’m back, again, hopefully a bit more consistently. This time returning to the world of Anna Swift with a story that’s been an idea for almost 2 years but couldn’t quite come together.  No resus in this part, just setting up the scene, but I hope you enjoy.

----------

Shona dragged her large suitcase up the ramp and onto the lower deck of the old water taxi. It had become almost like an old friend to her over the last few years, the point of seperation between home and college. She turned and waved to her parents, who stood back on the quay, watching thier daughter leave for the last semester of her college life. In truth she wasn't going all that far. Only a dozen or so miles as the crow flies, and within the limits of the same greater city area. But while the city had grown and expanded to absorb her old home town as a mere suburb, the city's transport links had not kept pace. While the rail network ran along each side of the river, it didn't cross at this end of the city. There were plans for new bridges, but they never materialised. And so, instead of taking a 3 hour trip on the city metro, Shona would take the trusty water taxi that had been crossing the river back and forth for as long as her mother remembered, and be at her dorm within 40 minutes.

A good idea really, she thought, pulling on the suitcase behind her, trying to get it rolling again. She cursed internally at her professors for giving them so much work over the spring break, the suitcase weighed down with what felt like half a library. A gust of cold wind blasted her face, and she thought of another curse, this one at the northern climate. To many, spring break was about running around on beaches nearly naked having parties and getting tanned. To say it would not be advisable here was an understatement. This far north, winter was still clinging on, to the point where snow lay on the ground just a few weeks ago.

Shona pulled her scarf up a little further as she dragged the suitcase toward the door at the rear of the cabin, where luggage could be stowed out of the way. She pushed it open then spun to grip the suitcase handle with both hands and haul it over the small threshold, staggering back a little as the wheels finally rocked over. A gust of wind sucked the door closed with a loud bang and shone flinched, glancing around to see if anyone noticed. Like public transport in most cities, no one so much as glanced at her.

She ducked into the luggage area, and her heart sank. All the lower shelves were full. She walked over, wondering just how she was going to stow the case. She vaguely heard the door behind her, then the sound of rolling wheels that approached and stopped beside her.

"Erm, would you like a hand?" A male voice said. Shone turned to him. He was young, maybe a similar age to herself, with black hair in that intentionally messy style. He raised his hands in a surrendering gesture. "Not infering anything about the strength of your gender...You just looked... and I need to..." He glanced at his own case, similar sized to hers.

Shona shook her head "Sorry, yes that would be great." She smiled. "We can each lift half." She commented, prompting a grin from the young man. Together they lifted her bag. Well, Shona steadied it at least.

"Student?" The young man asked, with a slight pant from the effort. Shona nodded, and opened her mouth to reply. "Wait, let me try and guess. Your on this taxi, so you must be studying at Central. That amount of books, over spring break no less, narrows it down. Medical students are already back, my roomate's doing Chem and says all the natural sciences work is based on their own labs now. And, I haven't seen you in any of my classes or on my floor of the library, so by process of elimination I'm going to say... History."

"Impressive." Shona told him with a grin. "You must be studying literature." She grinned at his shocked face. "My roommate is in that course. She can almost quote the entire works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle at this point, and she told me that almost everyone goes through a Sherlock phase in that course."

He chuckles. "Well played. I must know the name of the lady who bested me." He said, with a mock bow.

Shona couldn't help but chuckle too, though it was drowned out by the horn of the water taxi, as it gave it's last call. Shona felt the familiar rumble as the engine got into gear and began to ramp up in power. "Shona. Shona Smith-Carlson. Yes it's double barrelled. Ardent Feminist of a mother refused to give up her maiden name."

"Well theres nothing wrong with that. Though by the look on your face you aren't too happy it."

"It's not that," Shona shrugs. "She just never shuts up about it. Still loves dad though." She trails off, the silence starting to become awkward. "What about you?" She re-directs. "I'm guessing your name isn't actually Sherlock."

He smiles. "Jack Davidson. Not literally, My dad's actually called Mark."

"You must have practiced that line." Shona said, trying not to laugh at the perfect delivery.

"Maybe once or twice, but it's a good ice breaker, don't you think?"  He replied with another dazzling smile.

It was a nice smile. The boat jerked slightly as it left the quay and started its journey across the river. Shona rocked a little, Jacks arm moved, lifting a little, not quite reaching out, but ready to steady her if she had stumbled, and Shona suddenly realised he was flirting. Why did this always happen? She fought to not roll her eyes. Her girlfriend was going to rib her again. She would have to let him down gently. She took off her scarf, wrapping it and putting it into one pocket, and then unzipped her coat. She caught his eyes flick down as all men’s do, then slightly to one side, catching sight of the rainbow badge.

He blew out a breath, then nodded with a wry grin. "That's a good move. I am out played once again. Though I suppose we aren't quite playing the same game are we."

Shona shrugged. "Sorry." She mumbled.

Jack waved his hand. "Don't be. Not like you can change who you are. How about we get my bag stowed and then we grab a coffee on the upper deck?" Shona looked at him, puzzled. "Your roommate. From what you were saying she's a year ahead of me. A bit of early information is always good."

Shona considered it for a moment. He wasn't being pushy or angry like one of those guys. And she was planning on getting a coffee. So she shrugged. "Why not, company is always nice."

Together they lifted Jack's case, a little lighter than her own, and placed it in the rack. But as he was checking it was secure, Shona felt a rumble. A different rumble, one that she had never felt before on over two dozen journeys. If she'd been outside, she would have seen a plume of black smoke rise out the tall exhaust stack. If she'd been in the cabin that qualified as the bridge of the boat, she'd have heard voices filled with panic as alarms squarked.

Shona and Jack started up the stairs in front of the luggage compartment, when there was another rumble, and a strange noise filled the passenger cabin as the whole ship vibrated. Shona stopped halfway up the stairs, looking behind her. Jack turned to her, three steps higher up.

"What is it?" He asked

Shona shook her head "The boat. Somethings wr..."

 Her voice was totally drowned out by the noise of the engine exploding.

**********

Officer Matt Jones sat on the small river patrol boat, bobbing slightly against it's mooring. He glanced at his watch. Just another 7 hours and 50 minutes of his 8 hour shift. He sighed, feeling that boiling anger as he rembered getting busted down to river patrol. Not even standard beat cop, river patrol. In March, in this city, where even the foolish wouldn't think of getting in the river. Only the desperate. But this section of the river didn't even have any bridges, ruling that out too.

"So..." The old timer, Winston, who was now his partner muttered. "Who did you piss off to land yourself here?"

Jones breathed out slowly, sending the anger with it. "You know Dean Campbell?"

"The head of HR Dean Campbell?" Jones nodded, Winston whistled. "What did you do?"

"I may have pointed out that he was... inadequate for the position. In somewhat more forceful terms. To his face..."

Winston spat into the river. "That would do it. Not that you are wrong of course, that little weasel has done nothing but damage to the department, but, not exactly the wisest decision.

Jones nodded. "What about you?"

"I asked to be here." Winston replied, prompting a look from Jones. "Coming up on retirement. The last thing I wanted was to be that stereotype. Always liked fishing, figured I'd get some boat time and avoid anything likely to finish me off before my service is done."

"That's fair enough I guess." Jones told him, sipping at the coffee, watching the old water taxi make it's way across the river. He noticed the black smoke, but thought nothing of it. "Does anything interesting happen here?"

"Wouldn't have picked this spot if it did." Winston replied. "Occasionally that floating wreck needs a hand when it breaks, but that's about it." He says turning to look. "Speking of which, that exhaust don't look too healthy." He said a moment before the radio squarked, lighting up an indicator on the emergency channel.

"This is the Beetle, may-day, may-day, our engine is...." The radio cut off as a gout of thick black smoke burst from the exhaust tube, and the distant boat seemed to lurch. A split second later the sound wave of the explosion reached them.

"Get us moving!" Jones shouted to Winston, as he grabbed at his own radio. "This is officer Jones, Badge number 4582. We have a major incident in progress on the river between....between..."

"Between North Inglebank and Trippers point!" Winston shouted.

"Between North Inglebank and Trippers point. Explosion on a water taxi, we are en-route, unknown casualties, unknown situation, requesting additional backup for evacuation and medical assistance!"

"Acknowledged Officer Jones. Relaying now."

Winston had gotten the speed boat unmoored, tossing a high-vis life jacket to Jones, before he gunned the motor and they began to cut through the waves, heading for the vessel that was now smoking from more than just the exhaust.

(Edit: Fixed some errors and details. A little out of practice.)

#medical drama #cpr #defib #resus writing #Anna Swift

[mostlysignssomeportents]

STREAMLINER

I just finished my second pandemic staycation, a two-week, at-home revel in simple pleasures, like discovering new comics. A visit to Burbank's House of Secrets led to my acquiring the two-volume French graphic novel STREAMLINER, and it was *brilliant*.

https://store.magnetic-press.com/products/streamliner-vol-1-bye-bye-lisa-dora-by-fane

STREAMLINER is the story of a secret outlaw hotrod race set up in different remote places every year, in which the racers compete to push souped-up classic jalopies of the 30s, 40s and 50s to lethal speeds, trading paint for the right to boss the infamous Red Noses gang.

This year, the Red Noses leader has brought his gang to Evel O'Neil's remote desert gas-station, where Evel - a retired legend of Streamliner racing - lives with his granddaughter in the shadow of his old fighter-plane, shot down long ago in no-man's land.

Billy Joe, the leader of the Red Noses, cuts the phone lines and puts the word out that this year's race has found the ideal site: a desert that is in contested international territory, where the fed cops that hunt the racers have no jurisdiction.

Old Evel isn't all there anymore; the booze and the isolation have reduced him to a shadow of his former self. But his granddaughter Cristal is as smart and tough as they come, but she quickly comes to realize that there's no getting away from it - the race will take place.

But misery turns to tragedy when Evel gets into a drunken poker game with Nikky "The Head," Billy Joe's nemesis, and stakes the gas-station, the wrecked fighter plane, and the desert he holds title to on the outcome of the race.

To save her family's home and land, Cristal must race in the Black Widow, Evel's painstakingly rebuilt Streamliner, and compete against a motley crew that includes the meanest all-woman biker gang in the world, the feds' number one most wanted killer, and others.

To make everything more complicated, a powerful senator has cut a deal with a broadcaster to turn the race into a reality TV show in the hopes of domesticating and de-fanging it, and has dispatched a blimp to broadcast the race as it's run.

And on top of *that*, there's the Senator's real target, William "Billy the Kid" Bonney, the number one most wanted murderer on the hit parade, who is to be assassinated under the race's cover by feds masquerading as racers.

All this plays out with so much fucking noir it's practically vantablack, in a way that makes it clear why STREAMLINER and its creator Fane are great heroes of the French comics scene.

American comics are in the midst of a decades-long revival, but honestly, they have a *lot* of catching up to do. The anti-comics witch-hunts of the 1950s, led by the fraudster Frederic "Seduction of the Innocents" Wertham, set the field back by half a century.

In the meantime, the rest of the world raced ahead, developing comics vernaculars that have done things with the forms that have still never been seen in the USA.

That's how pioneering presses like First Second were able to attain liftoff: by cherry-picking these incredible marvels of the non-English comics world and bringing them to the Anglosphere in translation.

And it's what Magnetic Press, the publisher of STREAMLINER, is doing here. The American comics renaissance is just the tip of the iceberg: the rest of the world is doing stuff with comics that'll knock your socks off, and this is a great place to start.

#pluralistic

[bonermir]

Ok so, I am a noted “whore for lore.” When I make characters for Video Games I have this habit of creating huge backstories and reasons as to why they are make the choices they do in the game, and of course with Cyberpunk I have created OODLES of headcanon for my V and I’m very curious what other people’s headcanons for their Vs are?

I’m gonna post mine below (very very minor ending spoilers) but also feel free to reblog and share your own V headcanons, I wanna hear them!!!!!

So my main V is a Corpo. Her full name is Valeria Lucinda Ramos and like the canon she’s 27.

The Cyberpunk wiki has f!V’s birthday as Oct 12, 2049 so I just made her birth time at noon so that means that she is a: Scorpio Sun (Johnny is also a Scorpio lol their birthdays are 4 days apart) Gemini Moon Aquarius Rising.

She’s an only child and was raised by her mother, father and her Abuelo. She’s Latinx; Her mom is half Filipino, half Mexican and her dad is full Mexican. She was born in Night City and she was raised in Charter Hill. Her Abuelo is her father’s dad. He was an employee of Arasaka when the bombing happened (He wasn’t there when the nuke went off.) Her family has worked in Arasaka for years so she was expected to follow suit.

They gave her the choice that she could either work at Arasaka or Biotechnica but she knew that her parents would be disappointed in any choice other than Arasaka.

Her mom was/is a huge Eurodyne fan so she grew up hearing his music in her house but she didn’t know a whole lot about him. The Second Conflict jacket that you find in V’s closet is a hand-me-down from her mom.

Her parents don’t live in Night City anymore they are retired and they spend time either traveling or in their second home in Mexico. They don’t have much of a relationship with V. They financially cut her off when she was in college.

She met Jackie when she was 20 in college. He was one of her friend’s boyfriends at the time. They were on a trip in Mexico and he saved her life when she got in the middle of a bar fight  and they became friends from that experience.

V has always been interested in the net and netrunning. She got her first cybermodem when she was a preteen and started honing her skills then. She would in her free time work on her skills and commit petty crimes like stealing funds or spying on classmates or changing classmates grades (for a price.) She studied a lot on runners like Rache Bartmoss and Spider Murphy (her personal idol.) She had knowledge of Alt Cunningham, but not enough to fangirl. She mostly just knew that she was a big shot ITS runner who disappeared over 50 years ago.

The Netwatch shard on her desk in the beginning of the game was put there by her grandfather. I think he travels a lot. Post Arasaka termination, they haven’t spoken.

Her netrunner name is Arachne.

On top of being a netrunner she mains using the monowire, she also has an affinity for using bats.

V doesn’t drink or smoke because she thinks that they would hinder her netrunning ability she thinks she needs to keep her body and mind clean. Same goes with unnecessary cyberware that alters appearance (save for her monowire implant, Kiroshi, and hair color implant)

Speaking of, her hair isn’t naturally rose gold, she has an implant that turns her hair pink. She’s had it since she was 16 when she convinced her parent to get her one for her birthday. It’s top of the line so it’s lasted well over ten years. Her favorite color is obvs pink.  She has hazel color eyes and her natural hair color is dark brown.

She lost her virginity while Chippin’ In was playing, why is why she knows that one song.  

She has an eclectic music interest, but has a secret love for old school indie music. I think since her mom liked rockerboy music she actively avoided it which is why she has almost no knowledge on it.

She was a good student and while being rather straight edged, she was a party girl during her teen/college years. She likes to have a good time. I think my V is more of a “good girl.” She does at times definitely give off the spoiled rich girl Cher Horowitz vibes. It wasn’t until she starting hanging out with Jackie and more once Johnny is in her mind that she really give in to more of her “primal urges.”

Post ending she is very close with Panam and Misty, they have a sort of sisterhood with each other. She’s close with Judy but she spends most of her time traveling.

Her true ending is the secret ending. She spends her time after finding a way to not only save herself, but also to bring Johnny back. They still have contact through cyberspace. She has a dedicated BBS that she created just for him, with enough black ICE that rogue arasaka agents can’t reach it where they can communicate.  

Yes, I do think Johnny is the love of her life, I will be taking no critiques. They are parallels of each other, and save for Jackie he is the one person who truly understood her and would do anything to save her. They are tethered to each other.

Somedays, after her and johnny were split from each other, she be going along with her day and out of the blue realize that there is a lit cigarette is in her hand. She doesn’t know how long she had been smoking it, but it always takes her by surprise.

Did she have a threesome with the Peralez’s? That’s between them to know ;)

Here’s my V also, love my gorl:

#v cyberpunk #cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #cyberpunk #Johnny Silverhand #he's mentioned so i'll tag him lol #ANYWAYS i love this game #cp: valeria ramos

[judecopeart]

MIXTALE, the Undertale AU where everything is, well, mixed up ! Info under the cut because it’s long

     Ark, the great -nibling of Era, who fell down the hole in Mt. Ebott 50 years ago, follows in their grankle’s footsteps (quite literally) and takes a tumble of their own. There, they meet Undyne, a former soldier who has retired to a quiet life in the ruins, under the orders to bring any fallen humans to the capitol. But over the week or so that Ark stays with her, she can’t bring herself to send them off to have their soul reaped, and instead hands them a small spear and offers a small protection charm. With those in hand, Ark is told to find a way home, by any means necessary.      They travel to Snowdin, meeting a pair of ghosts along the snowy paths - an excited pink one named Mettablook (though he insists on just being called Mett), and a chill blue one named Napstablook. Mett is a human fanatic, and continuously tries to get Ark to tell him about human culture while they travel towards town. If he’s not talking about the stuff he finds at the dump, he’s going on and on about his favorite tv personality. Napstablook manages to tell Ark that they make lofi hip hop remixes in their spare time.      Once they get to town, they bump into Asgore, a friendly, kind shopkeeper, with a gaggle of kids behind him. The shopkeep and human head towards Muffet’s Bar and Grill, and Asgore tells Ark about monster history, and how they’ll have to have a monster’s soul by the end of their journey if they want to get past the barrier. Ark is adamant they’ll be fine, and they’ll find another way through.      After leaving Snowdin with Mett in tow, Ark gets their first encounter with Grillby in Waterfall - Grillby’s a hardened soldier with a bullheadedness and a DETERMINATION to stop the human. During a chase, a young goat child named Asriel distracts Grillby long enough for Ark and Mett to hide out on a snail farm, where they meet the owner, Toriel. She takes in the two for the night, and they have a big dinner with Tori, her son, and her wife, Muffet.      Moving through Waterfall, the duo narrowly misses more attacks from Grillby, and only manage to escape when his enchanted armor’s power starts to dwindle from having no cool down time, causing him to become more vulnerable to the moisture in the air. Ark and Mett, in an act of compassion, drag him through to Hotland where he can dry back out and let his armor’s magic recharge.      Now in Hotland, the pair enter a science lab, and get immediately accosted by a tall, boisterous....skeleton ? by the name of Gaster. They’re not all there, and they’re a little drippy, but they’ve heard all kinds of things about the human and they’re begging for the chance to study a human SOUL. Before they get the chance to start inspecting, a shorter skeleton named Sans pushes them out of the way and insists that the human meets his brother Papyrus and do a segment on his talk show to clear up some rumors.      Ark and Mett are confused, but don’t have much time to ask questions as Papyrus himself appears and drags them to another room that’s set up with a desk and some armchairs. Once cameras start to roll, it’s revealed to Ark that many of the monsters they’ve met have been mistaking them for a human from 20 years ago - one named Era. All kinds of crazy theories that Ark was Era’s spirit come to avenge the monsters or whatever have been all over the monster internet, and Papyrus wants them to be able to clear things up.      A picture of Era flashes on a screen behind them, and Ark recognizes them - it’s their great-Ankle who went missing when their grampy was still young. The monsters at home are shocked ! What are the odds 2 humans from the same family would fall down here ? It’s then that the story of the dearly missed Prince Monster Kid and the fallen human Era are told. Much like in canon, Era was taken in by the royal family, this time consisting of Alphys, her cousin Monster Kid, and her right hand guard Undyne. After Era fell gravely ill with a sickness their body couldn’t fight, Monster Kid and Era fused their souls and emerged into the above ground in order to look for a cure, or at least take Era back to their home town to see their loved ones one last time.      Unfortunately, the humans there thought Monster Kid had attacked Era and hurt them, and began to attack Monster Kid in turn. Injured fatally, Monster Kid picked up their siblings body and returned home, barely making it back to Alphys before they turned to dust. Alphys, with both the kids she loved now dead, woefully vowed to avenge their deaths and free monsters from the underground and the plight of humanity. She sent Undyne to the ruins to watch and wait, and so over the decades they have reaped 5 human SOULS.      Determined to make amends to Alphys, the whole of monster kind, and their own family’s lost history, Ark heads towards the castle with Mett, and now Papyrus. Along the way, the other monsters they meet offer help, charms, spells, and anything they can give, heartbroken to know that neither of Era’s families had gotten closure until now about their disappearance.      At the castle, the trio encounters Alphys, sitting and weeping in a flower bed of golden petals. She spoke lowly to someone they couldn’t see, and when she turned to greet them, there was nobody there. She wiped her eyes and gently hugged Ark, voice hoarse as she apologized, but she had a duty to her people.      They enter the next room, and it’s revealed... that Alphys won’t be the one being fought. It’ll, instead, be a teched out Flowey, the lost soul of Monster Kid, who’s powered by the other human souls. Once they claim Ark’s, they plan to blast the barrier to bits and lead the charge against the humans that caused so much damage.      During the fight, Ark keeps getting flashes of the past from the dead human’s memories - a ballet dance here, a cooking lesson there - and finally, memory upon memory that could only belong to the family member they never knew. They appealed to the child inside Flowey, the one who just missed their sibling and wished things could have changed. Ark’s soul glows bright, resonating with the ones surrounding Flowey... and when the flash clears, Monster Kid is standing there, instead. They’re sniffling, ashamed and depressed, and with the last of their power they decimate the barrier.      It won’t be long until they become a flower again, and they’re enveloped in a hug by Ark, Alphys and Papyrus joining not long after. As the Monster Kid leaves, other monsters swarm the entrance to the room, eager to step out into sunlight for the first time in centuries.      Alphys stays behind, hoping to help Monster Kid, and a few others stay to assist, but mostly monsters run out with glee. The main group linger, not wanting to leave their newfound friends behind until they were all ready to go. Ark heads in the direction Monster Kid went, and when they catch up, they promise that Monster Kid will never be alone and sad ever again. The human stays until Monster Kid becomes Flowey once again, before gently digging them up and carrying them all the way back to the castle, and soon, out to the above ground.

#this is so fucking long #judecopeart #undertale #undertale au #Mixtale #Ark #Era #Sans #Papyrus #Gaster #Undyne #Mettaton #Napstablook #Muffet #Asgore #Grillby #Asriel #Toriel #Monster Kid #alphys #flowey #digital art #artists on tumblr #character design

[a-day-in-the-life-of-a-brotha]

4-27-21 The end of a 12 day shift

4:22 a.m. I woke up at 4 a.m. but I stayed laid down thinking about all the things I needed to do. Pack a bag (I’m going to spend the night with Dani...well nights) cut my hair, and, manicure myself. I also have to prepare myself for work. “Shit, what am I packing” I exclaimed to the still air. Sometimes it’s weird when nobody is there ie; my children my mother. Dani sent a text “Good Morning my Love”...Ditto.

5:21 a.m. I leave the house...too late to go to McDonald’s to get 2 round egg and cheese biscuits and a large sweet tea with a little bit of ice. But my addiction to cigarettes does lead me to 7-11 to get a pack, even though I’m running late for work.

Frustration #1 So the cashier that’s normally there, ain’t there, thank goodness, however it’s a new guy...not new but not the normal early shift guy. He’s slow, I’m late, and there are many amigos in line. “Newport 100 box brother”....quick exchange and we are done. So in this instance it’s truly not an outside frustration...it’s me that’s frustrated that I am compelled to go to this job, just to make money, so I can maintain food, shelter and clothing for my loved ones. I’m a slave, all of these things should be free. I’m getting under compensated and overpaying for living....yes...just for living.

5:50 a.m. Work. It’s Tuesday...my Friday. I’m exhausted already, pained to be at this workhouse/plantation, anticipating the days end (I’m going to meet Dani). As I walk up and get settled in my work station, the jones (talking shit) begins..”You on the phone?” says my short bus patron co-worker...I head nod to confirm his thought. He still finds a way to come over to me to draw my energy which sooo many people seem to do as of late. “You be proper as shit when you’re on the phone...then gangsta as shit when you get off”...says the man that just two weeks ago hurled words that would provoke me to smack him with the bricks I call my hands on the street...but we was at work, so it’s a bunch of bullshit he’s spewing. I laughed, “It’s true brother, I am proper on the phone with my lady!” What he doesn’t know is that when I’m relaxed, I’m proper, shit I’ve studied this language so much, I’ve mastered it...so I use it. You can only go as far as your thoughts take you...so if you have a limited vocabulary that’s how far you’re going. I know I know, it’s the white mans language, but I’m from here, and it’s the only language I’m well versed in. Espanol...un pocito!!

7:00 a.m. The arrival of Omar. My friend. We are almost 30 years in as friends. “What’s up big guy” he says...”What’s up O” says me. We are both strong headed men, and about the only two people at this job that are not afraid to lose it. That characteristic trait sets us apart from the sheep at this place that are scared to speak up for themselves, instead for some of them, we will speak up. Do me and O bump heads...hell yeah. But we’ve come to a point where we can gauge each other...and we now know when and how to stay away from each other, with no hard feelings. One time we were arguing at work, a dude came to try to calm us down, we simultaneously shut that nigga down...and retired outside to squash it. Work ensues...

12:00 p.m. After Lunch. I was called in the office. Ok I fudged some numbers on the diesel gas pump for the buses I service...a couple of buses mileage was off. Who cares right? The supervisor does...Dave. He’s an older white guy that is accustomed to talking to black men any way he wants. Not me though...our first run in was our last. “LARRY to the office” on the loud speaker he says. I go... and he starts to raise his voice as if I were a child.

Frustration #2 Although this instance didn’t happen on this day, I’m getting frustrated by merely thinking about it. When Dave gets to yelling (mind you this is the 2nd of two caucasian supervisors I’ve ever had, I’m 45) all I hear is the “Blah Blah Blah...aggression aggression aggression”...I meet aggression with aggression...I don’t fight fire fire with fire...I fight fire with water. “Dave, when you raise your voice at me, I can’t hear you, AND all I get is angry.” He quickly stopped, apologized and let me calmly know what the ailment was. Nonetheless on this day, I got called in the office, informed about the challenge and I said I would fix it. He went on this soliloquy as to how and why it needs to fixed. I’m smarter than him, but I get paid less...I already knew how to solve the problem. It gives me hives, listening to idiots...

2:30 p.m. The Anticipation of Dani. I’m off work...my anxiety is on 100...I’m not having a good day, but I’m going straight to Dani...I miss her, but I’m anxious about sex...we haven’t done that yet. I rush to her, she gets off at 2:45, but she’s 45 mins away in Baltimore, and I don’t want her to be waiting too long. “What’s up babe...how was your day” says she, whilst on the speakerphone in my car. I’m completely honest with her “I’m not having a good day.” Now I don’t want to not have a good day, shit I’m about to see her, my love, my buxom enchantress, but I must be real and honest...it’s the basis of our relationship. I get there.

3:30 p.m. Dani and the food reviewer “Big Schlim.” I arrive, a hug and kiss ensued, we are both exhausted but glad to be in each other’s presence. “How was your day Dani?” “It was ok” she said and then goes in on the length of her time at work and how she was amped to get out of there (anytime you feels this way about employment, it’s definitely slave work). Normally I already have a spot that I want to go review, today I didn’t. Soooo off to MyMammasVegan to get them delicious ass honey ol bay fried cauliflower bites. In the intern I’ll figure out what we will be eating. As we rode, my guard was let down, I don’t have to defend myself with her, she is a part of my solace. We got the bites, we went to the spot, we people watched and joned on folks...laughter and her...got me through. Let’s go home...

I forgot to mention Friends...how many of us have them. Malika...well..here’s the text I sent... Good Day Malika. I truly hope that you are in a harmonious space to receive and wholeheartedly digest this message. I’ll start by saying that I love you, and I am honored to truly call you and think of you as a real friend.

I’m sending this message to set up some boundaries for me, with you. I will no longer accept you yelling at me out of frustration. I will no longer accept you hanging up the phone abruptly out of frustration. As a long time friend I expect support for my endeavors. A like, a share, a comment on the new ventures I have, are simple but effective gestures to show support and cost nothing. I noticed, a while back, that the things I was posting on my IG pages were getting no support from you. That was truly disappointing. Even the IKEA post that you called me about wasn’t liked by you, and if you truly read it, you would’ve known what that “Pink Shit” was. That call you made to me also showed a complete disregard for my schedule. I’ve relayed to you several times that I work the early morning hours...and you seem to “forget” or you just simply don’t care. Also...for the last 4 years I’ve noticed a pattern amongst my “friends”....none of you know my children. Initially I was riddled with guilt behind this, thinking that was on ME to bring them around more often. But wait a minute...you know where I live, I’ve had the same number for years, at ANY time you could’ve called and came by to chill with them...do ANYTHING with them (pre Covid). They’ve received nothing from you...nothing....your occasional presence is free. They are almost 15 and if they see you on the street...they won’t know you...and that’s not on me. I sat back and waited to see what was going to happen...nothing. So Malika, I must set up some healthy boundaries with you, these behaviors for you hurt me, and I will no longer allow that to happen, especially to my children who don’t know you for real. Ian remaining your lifelong friend...period....I ask you to respect me in the aforementioned manner going forward, and this text is not meant for you to rebuttal, it’s for you to know, and for me to release. Thank you for being around for 30.

6:30’ish Home. Dani’s House. We finally arrived. This is where I end. Me and her at home are private...I just know that I’m meant to be with her...my wife.

[hellreads]

Do you any super angsty fics like angsty angsty

hi there love, as I was checking my shelf for some angsty angsty fics to recommend I ended up pulling 50+ gvjhakgsdhjgsdjfk so I highly suggest you just check the angst fics I read here, but I will still be recommending the ones that I find really angsty, the ones that tear a hole in my heart, the ones that made me cry buckets of tears out of heartbreak and pain, the ones that haunt me and pull out all the sad feels from me whenever I’m reminded of these stories. 

p.s. I will sort this by member and will try to just list at least three or maybe five, okay five it is per member ~ the ones that made me feel very very angsty and very very emotional T_T | 🍒

Kim Namjoon

❥ Cut by @chimchimsauce➴ Anti-Soulmate!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ Namjoon always hated soulmates.

❥ Covenant by fringesofsanity➴ Arranged Marriage!AU | Namjoon x Reader | Series➴ You are betrothed to Kim Namjoon, the heir of a real estate mogul. To say that it was a fairytale romance would be erroneous. You’re instead loped in the sad tale of the rich and melancholy.

❥ Ride or Die by @jungcock➴ Bestfriends/Road Trip!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ Jungkook was a terrible boyfriend, always abandoning you on the side of the road midst your many road trips. Thankfully, you had Namjoon to come pick you up every time he did and it was about time you reward him for it.

❥ Nothing Like Us by @chiminiemoans➴ Exes/Lovers!AU | Namjoon x Reader | Two-Shot➴ Your ex hears about your new toxic relationship and that is the jump start to get him going out to look for you. With the worry and jealousy he feels consuming him whole, he questions if he made the right decision in letting you go in the first place

❥ Not The One by @personawife➴ Soulmate!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ There’s a fault in the cosmic system.

Kim Seokjin

❥ Epiphany by @floralseokjin➴ Exes!AU | Seokjin x Reader | One-Shot➴ Sometimes it’s best to remember the past is just a memory…

❥ 2,561 Days by @gossamie➴ Marriage/Divorce!AU | Seokjin x Reader | One-Shot➴ Two years of marriage could not stop the relationship from falling apart. As an attempt to seek closure before the divorce, Seokjin and you retrace your seven years together.

❥ Seven Seconds in Heaven by @jimlingss➴ Married!AU | Seokjin x Reader | One-Shot➴ In the moment of your death, Heaven drops the hammer of punishment; making him travel back in time to relive memories that can never be changed. Seven memories. Seven minutes in each. Seven seconds before they are ripped away.

❥ Currents by @yeoldontknow➴ Arranged Marriage!AU | Seokjin x Reader | One-Shot➴ Jin thinks he’s loved you since the moment he saw you, back when you were teenagers; Jin knows he’s been in love with you, the soul burning kind of love, since he saw you on your wedding day. He doesn’t mind that you don’t reciprocate on his level, he’s just happy to show you he cares. Until one day, he simply can’t anymore. Until one day, you realize you need to show him you care, too.

❥ Bad Guy by @sweetbunnykook➴ Married/Mob!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Hoseok x Yoongi | Series➴ After a brutal attack in Hong Kong, your marriage with Kim Seokjin cracks as secrets begin to surface and a series of betrayals find their way into the veins of the Hidden Tigers. Although Jin’s devotion endures, in his own definition, the reality of being a mob wife may be too much for you to bear.

Min Yoongi

❥ Please Be Naked by @floralseokjin➴ Rebound!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Namjoon | Series➴ You find it’s easy to become addicted to a distraction…

❥ Wildest Moments by @joonbird➴ Infidelity/F2L!AU | Yoongi x Reader | Series➴ “Min Yoongi is forbidden territory. And although you both know better, the two of you just can’t seem to stay apart.”

❥ Dead Leaves by wrienne➴ Married/Detective!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jimin | Series➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life.Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency.

❥ Cheating by @jhspetitegf➴ Married/Infidelity!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jimin | One-Shot➴ Married too young, too fast, the temptation is too great when an alluring stranger shows you the attention you crave.

❥ To Be Without by @serenililly➴ Producer!AU | Yoongi x Reader | Series➴ Funny how the world can shift in an instant. How you approached your bedroom with excitement only to walk away with a life forever changed.

Jung Hoseok

❥ Piece by Piece by @underthejoon➴ FWB/F2L!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Hoseok | Drabbles | Series➴ You’re in love with your best friend but you’re using someone else to forget. love triangle.

❥ The Gentlemen’s Club by @brookelegend➴ Gentleman/Club!AU | Hoseok x Reader | Series➴ You’ve been in a dating drought, more specifically, a sex drought. Your best friend has the perfect remedy for your problem: The Gentlemen’s Club.

❥ Ask and You Shall Receive by @floralseokjin➴ Sugar Daddy!AU | Hoseok x Reader | Series➴ Your sugar daddy says you don’t have to sleep with him if you don’t want to…trouble is, you do want to. You’re just nervous and a little inexperienced, but he catches on quick and begins to teach you the true pleasures of sex, and boy, are they good…

❥ Fake Love by @aquaminwrites➴ E2L/Fake Dating!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Every year, your family spends the holidays at your parents’ cottage in the country. Freshly single and not wanting to be picked apart by your family for being alone, you decide to recruit one of your friends to pretend to be your boyfriend.The only available volunteer? Your brother Namjoon’s roommate, Hoseok. Only problem? He absolutely hates your guts.

❥ Call Out My Name by @hobiwonder➴ Exes!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Hoseok needed closure.

Park Jimin

❥ Ineffable by fringesofsanity➴ FUBU!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ You’ve only bared your body to Jimin, mostly silent after the act. The one time you do, you find yourself baring your soul to him, far more than you bargained for.

❥ Right Person, Wrong Time by @mortaljin➴ Fuckboy!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ Park Jimin is a name that holds no significance in your heart right now. But it is a name that will haunt you for years.

❥ Slight Changes by @chiminiemoans➴ Idol/Infidelity!AU | Jimin x Reader x Taehyung | Series➴ Taehyung gets caught.

❥ Everything by @kpopfanfictrash➴ Arranged Marriage!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ It’s funny how there are certain moments in your life which define you.

It’s funny how when you’re asked what was memorable to you in a year – the first things you think about are an odd, assorted jumble which make absolutely no sense out of context. People, faces, random speeches and words that moved you. I, for some reason, always think of a book. Last year, it was 1Q84. The year before that, it was The Name of the Wind.

I always think of a book – and then of Jimin.

❥ We Have One Hour Left to Live by @gossamie➴ Lovers/Apocalypse!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ The world is ending soon. How will you and Jimin spend your last hour on this earth?

Kim Taehyung

❥ Dichotomy by @kpopfanfictrash➴ Arranged Marriage!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series➴ You hate him. He hates you. It’s a fine line though, isn’t it – between love and hate?

❥ When You Least Expect It by @johobi➴ F2L/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.

❥ Who Cares by @floralseokjin➴ Lovers/Infidelity!AU | Seokjin x Named OC x Taehyung | Series➴ What happens when Taehyung falls for someone who’s already taken? Can he control his feelings or will they take over and render him powerless? In the end is it all her fault or his…?

❥ Clandestine by @ditzymax➴ Assassin!AU | Taehyung x Named OC x Jungkook | Series➴ As a professional assassin, Kim Kinsoo has many shrouded secrets in her life. Some of them she shares openly with her loving boyfriend, but there are other things he must never know.

❥ I Must Still Want You by @filmflowersbangtan ➴ F2L!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series➴ //

Jeon Jungkook

❥ Right of Way by fringesofsanity➴ Infidelity!AU | Jimin x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In theory, things were simple: your best friend was Jungkook’s girlfriend while your boyfriend, Jimin, was Jungkook’s best friend. In reality, things weren’t always that simple. And mutually exclusive.

❥ Only You by @sweetbunnykook➴ Stalker/Lovers!AU | Jungkook x Reader x Seokjin x Namjoon | Series➴ Jeon Jungkook, your wedding photographer, helps you escape on your big day upon learning about a secret your groom-to-be kept hidden. You soon fall for this young, passionate photographer. However, you underestimated just how much he was willing to reciprocate that love. Maybe, you think, he’s loving you just a little too much.

❥ Euphoria by @btssavedmylifeblr➴ Time Travel/Married!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ At the end of your life, you are given one day to live again with the man you loved. A lifetime’s love story told in a single day.

❥ 2U by @sokiijk➴ Surrogate!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ You were simply trying to make a living and give the opportunity of having children for the women who couldn’t. You meet a couple who plans to have a steady life — you being the last puzzle piece for it all. But you acknowledge the boyfriend, Jungkook, who questions if he actually wants it.

❥ Animal by @cutaepatootie➴ Boxer!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ //

~ so that’s it! I hope you enjoy these recommendations, I do have a lot on my shelf so check them out if you want more, some of these stories are angsty through and through while others have this calm before the storm vibe and the angst will hit you hard it’ll hurt, prep a box of tissues (especially for those Jin fics, I cried the most reading them T_T) 

#answered #tete-a-tete #anon #recs from hell #rfh:knj #rfh:ksj #rfh:myg #rfh:jhs #rfh:pjm #rfh:kth #rfh:jjk #this is a 35 fic list dgahsfghsjadfgjashd I had to stick to five but was supposed to do three per member only #this was hard to make especially for jungkook because there's like A LOT OF ANGSTY JJK FICS ~ #I hope you find an angsty fave in this list love ~