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redspiderling · 3 years

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MCU Breakdown: Black Widow, Part 1

I can’t believe this is happening 😭

First of all, congratulations to all of you who’ve been here all these years. We got it. We begged for years, and it’s finally here.

For once I wasn't dreading revisiting this film to write down what I got from it. I felt more like I might not do it justice. This film is so special to me, but here it is, the MCU Breakdown of Black Widow, part 1 (of who knows how many).

I remember back when I started running this blog and talking about a hypothetical Black Widow movie that had never been announced, always "yeah, we would be happy to do it, maybe, someday in the future", and arguing that it would be important for women and girls, no matter its content. I'm so glad we got it like this. So, so glad.

The rest under the cut.

Let's start with some technical details. The film has a lot of setups and callbacks, nothing is done in chance. For example, I love how the light, and the sounds we hear when we first, and last, see Natasha in the film, are the same. We greet her in bright -birds cheeping- morning light, while she's riding her bike home, to her family

and we leave her in bright -birds cheeping- morning light, while she's riding her bike home, to her family (I'm using the term family very liberally here in reference to the Avengers for the sake of the movie, bear with me, you know how I feel about those dudes).

It's signifying new beginnings, each time, not endings. Notice how, what we see is natural light, which makes this scene pop out, and look more real because the light is coming from the sun, and isn’t artificially made on VFX software. You will notice the stark differences in colours and lighting when the emotions and the atmosphere change in this film, because there is a visual language being employed here, the director has a story to say, and she uses all the tools she has to tell it. The light is exactly the same in those 2 scenes, because Cate wants us to make that connection, even if we make it unconsciously.

Natasha is placed in such a positive way, both at the start and the end of the film. There's this discussion about how "real" their little family was, but it was the characters that muddled up that image. The reality of their lives in Ohio is presented in a happy way, that had deep rivers under the surface, for sure. This wasn't accidental, for a lot of reasons.

First of all, if you take it the literal way, they were spies, and had to present themselves as normal. If you take it the allegorical way, any girl could fall victim to trafficking, and if you take it the character way, both Scarlett and Cate wanted to showcase that Natasha is human. They also wanted to give her something that wasn't always dripping with pain and sadness. They were both parts of her life, yes, but there was also joy, and light, and once upon a time she had been a kid, playing with her sister.

Also, and this has been mentioned before but it bears repeating: I love the actress they chose for young Natasha, and I love how they presented her character. She's allowed to be a young teenage girl. She's not sexualised. She's at that gangly stage between childhood and adulthood, and there's nothing sexual about it, no provocative clothing, no excessive makeup. She's a kid.

Plus, I know Cate said the actress already had her hair dyed blue and they just decided to let her have it, but I think it works well for Natasha's character. That small act of defiance, even that early on, against the system that wanted to break her. Also, the film gives us such great character moments, because they let the camera roll and don't rush through scenes, look at Natasha looking at Melina comforting Yelena. We can see the pain, the fear, where she knows that this isn't going to last, and wonders about what will become of them once their lives begin to unravel.

We also get to see the joy on her face, the wonder of discovering the world, how often do you get to see Marvel characters do this, just live in the moment?

Bioluminescence: the production and emission of light by a living organism. Or how Natasha is a bright light, that shines from within. Not my words, Cate Shortland's words. I felt it when I was watching this scene, but it was lovely to have it verified in one of her interviews. I wish I could meet her, and tell her that everything she wanted to put on screen came through, incandescent and crystal clear. Fireflies are a symbol for Natasha, as a bright light that shines from within, and never dies.

Small details that I love, the magnet on the fridge: Don't forget, above a picture of Natasha. LIKE WE EVER COULD, CATE.

We have another setup here, where the family gathers up to have dinner together. Even the sitting arrangement is the same as later on in the film.

Notice also how both young, and adult version of Natasha, communicate so well with Melina, just with their eyes. It doesn't necessary show a deep history between them, but it does show a bone deep level of understanding. Not just of their current circumstance, but of their future, and of what it will do to them. Melina knows what's coming and she's says it "I'm sorry", but they're both resigned to their fate, Melina because she doesn't see a way out, and Natasha because, well, here she's a kid, and therefore is powerless.

The dynamics between Yelena and Alexei is so different. Yelena is young and doesn't understand, so they're speaking about completely different things. "I don't have my shoes" is what she says, and it's heartbreaking in its innocence, as Alexei is loading his gun and reading himself for battle. We can still see that he's not indifferent to her, telling her she can have "fruit loops in the car". He's not a monster, he just doesn't have a choice (or at least, he thinks he doesn't).

Also, notice how the camera angles are employed here: Natasha and Melina look each other eye to eye, Yelena looks up to Alexei, Alexei looks down on her, there is an imbalance of power and understanding in the second set of images, and the camera tells us that.

Melina doesn't let Natasha take the photo album. For one thing, it's certain that Natasha wouldn't be able to keep it. For another, Melina wanted the memories, and probably didn't want anyone else to realise/think that they cared about their little family unit.

There's just a lot of thought that's been put in the details of the script, to show us their bond, their attempts to hide it, to show the characters' personality in everything around them (notice the plants that are ever present in Melina's home, in Ohio and later in Saint Petersburg). She might seem cold, she has been through a lot, but she cares. And that care has brought her pain. And we have to see that pain, because we get the quiet moments like this one, where she stands alone in an empty home knowing that part of her life is over, never to return.

The mission, is the last thing Melina asks about. The last thing Alexei mentions, the last thing either of them cares about. First, she refused to accept that they had completed the mission and were now hunted, then she accepted it and they loaded their family in the car, and then she asked about the leaked files.

Also, notice how that shot is framed. Both images silhouetted by the light because it’s the moment and the prop smack down in the middle of the frame that’s important, now what they’re going through, emotionally, they’re not themselves in that moment, they’re nameless, tools of the trade, expendable in front of that tiny floppy disk.

Yelena is singing while the rest are plunging in despair, but still humour her and play her song.

I found this shot a bit... Jarring. I get it that for American audiences this would show that they're actually leaving "home" behind, but for the rest of us... Eeeh, I'll give it a pass because it is an American production and this is just something to be expected. I mean, Yelena's song was American Pie. We get it, you still love America, just because you're making a film about Russian spies doesn't mean you're a commie Marvel, it's ok.

But in any case, the setup for the action scene here was excellent. Happy, familiar music playing, car is on the main road, car goes off the main road familiar music gets toned down and eventually completely lost in the darkness.

Yelena knows what to do, we see it, so that we know that this 6 year old girl who holds her stuffed animal and walks barefoot has practiced for this moment.

By the way, Natasha did take another item with her along with the photobooth pictures (it also looks like a photo album with Disney princesses on it), it didn't survive the trip. We are informed of this for a very specific reason: Melina didn’t ask Natasha not to take the photo album out of malice, or just because she wanted to keep it for herself. She knew it wouldn’t survive the trip in Natasha’s hands. We also get a close shot of the image strip (and we get it again, during the credits), because it will be important, later on.

Bet y'all also forgot you were watching a superhero movie until this happened? That wasn't accidental, they wanted us to see them as normal people, this is the moment when that ends.

Natasha saved her family, even though she was a terrified kid.

I know that they did the huge titles thing to connect this film to Civil War but... Listen, Civil War needed the huge titles because that script and the way that movie was directed was a complete disaster. We needed to know where the characters were each time with huge ass title because there was NO OTHER WAY TO TELL. Between complete lack of a timeline, and the fact that you couldn't even tell what time of the day it was due to the horrible lighting, you definitely couldn't tell what the location was because it was irrelevant to the plot like, 90% of the time. Not to mention the title cards in Civil War were usually followed by dimly lit grey corridors so, yeah, give us a title so we know at least where they are, generally.

This film. Didn't Need That. For the most part anyway, there are 2 locations where the titles worked. First one was Ohio, the other I'll reveal later.

But here. Guys, they're Russian spies escaping from the US on a small plane... Where else would they go if not to Cuba?!?! This is the Black Widow movie paying for the sins of Civil War, in a small way in this instance.

Yelena tells Melina that pain only makes you stronger, Natasha cries, and they setup my heartbreak for later.

Natasha protecting Yelena, terrified, and staring men down the barrel of her gun anyway. Such a badass and heartbreaking callback.

Notice how this scene makes us look at how men view this. There's an allegory here as well, but I'll address what's actually happening in the film:

Dreykov notices Natasha's natural instinct to protect herself and her sister, and all he sees is something he can use. A tool for violence, instead of sex, in this case. But the implication is there. Not a person, or a terrified girl, just an object to be used by men.

So glad that piece of shit got blown up and never mentioned again. Any man looking for exposition on Dreykov to feel the "loss" when the villain is gone: Fuck you. Go get some therapy.

Moving on from that piece of shit, difference between Melina and Alexei: Melina apologised. Alexei lied, but he also tried to give them hope. We can see the devastation, because the soldiers never thought of them as girls like he did, and didn't blink before drugging them and taking them away.

Yet another setup, of Natasha and Yelena, drugged and powerless as they are taken away. Because it wasn't enough that they were kids, they took away all their choices, and rendered them unconscious.

What can I possibly say about this credits scene.

It's very real, probably the realest minutes in the entire MCU, and it's merciless. They don't try to sugar-coat what's happening, and there are no jokes to diffuse the drama. These are girls being trafficked from all over the world. I don't know about you but I felt the switch from true parallel to real life traffic victims like this shot that looks like footage from Interpol

to Red Room victims as being a clear shift, and I was actually grateful for it. Because here I could put my back against the fact that the red room wasn't real, otherwise I would have broken down before the credit sequence even ended.

It was a stroke of genius to create an introduction to this entire world like that. We rarely see credit sequences anymore and it's a shame, because when they're well done they tell stories in and of themselves, and this is one of the best I've seen.

Even the villain is set up here. He's pointing at girls and saying "that one, and her", like he's picking pigs for slaughter. How much more setup than that do you need, to want to murder that man dead? Not any more, that was enough.

Nobody speak to me I’m crying.

Subtle, but there. Trafficking (and traffickers) exists because it IS being tolerated by governments around the world.

Unnecessary title aside, who else says Natasha looks at herself in the mirror hear and repeats "pain only makes you stronger", as she's being hunted away from yet another family.

Then she's saying it again because it bears repeating and Natasha has been through A Lot these past few years. I love how unfiltered our first image of her is. After all she's been through, we basically see her stripped of all her tricks in a moment where she’s alone with herself and her thoughts(something we later learn she tries not to do much), and she's just a woman having a tiny breakdown in a semi-public bathroom. Again, human.

This is where I will leave you for this first part. Hey, I got through the intro, I count that as a win given just how long this breakdown has already been. If you’ve gotten this far, thank you for reading, come yell at me in my inbox whenever, see you for the next one xo

#MCU Breakdown #Black Widow #Black Widow Spoilers #Natasha Romanoff #I'd like to think that all my followers have already seen it but just in case

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loquaciousquark · 3 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E125 (Feb. 16, 2021)

Goooood evening good evening good evening, all! I hope you’re all staying warm and safe and dry in this chilly weather. Tonight’s guests: Travis Willingham and Laura Bailey.

We open tonight with Travis ribbing Brian for his continuous remodel of his office space. Laura demands a second introduction of herself as she wasn’t paying attention during the first one.

Travis: “You’ve gotta love Julianne Moore. She’s the only actress who can cry and show you all her teeth at the same time.” I was listening pretty closely when he said this and I’m still not sure it had any context.

Jester thinks there’s a strong possibility at least half the party will die against the Tombtakers. Fjord doesn’t think the odds are quite that high, but it will be dangerous. Laura points out that most of the M9 are also willing to sacrifice themselves for the rest of the party, so that changes their odds as well. Travis: “The game is not a stress reliever. It is not a stress reliever. I mean, it’s fun as shit, but it is stressful!”

Laura thinks Essek will give them a better chance. Travis: “A plus-one? A powerful plus-one, but a plus-one?” Did you see his reaction when we gave him the lowdown? Let’s be real: we kinda trust Essek. I got $50 that when we come back, he’s gone.” Laura is convinced he is trustworthy & wants to lighten his soul.

Jester spent so much time trying to bring out the Molly side of Lucien that to have him then betray them sucked. She knew that trying to bring the good out of everyone they met would eventually fail, but it stung that it was the most powerful one they encountered to first betray them.

She tries to talk about finger gestures during the answer as a reference to the HBO show “Raised by Wolves,” and Brian and Travis tell her to keep digging this hole she gets herself into about fingering. Travis: “Just get off the interstate at the next exit and turn right.” Laura, of course, immediately mimes turning a hard left, and they spent the next few minutes laughing at her inability to tell right from left and that even now she still has to hold up her hands to tell left from right.

Fjord is furious that they nicked the Bag of Holding. The loss of Vess DeRogna is bad enough, but he is genuinely IRL anxious about the loss of the Cloven Crystal. Laura points out that Fjord has also explicitly talked to Lucien about the deep sea creature patron he used to follow as well. He’s terrified one of Lucien’s scimitars is suddenly going to have a big eye sticking out of it. Laura suggests they’ll just succeed, bring back the city, and wake up Uk’otoa for the heck of it.

It was really rough to go from the Gelidon fight to the Tombtaker fight, especially since the first fight sent so well. Travis felt great that he initiated the dragon fight - he knew they had a far advantage in the numbers and felt that it was an open and shut case.

Laura does boggle that if Caleb hadn’t asked for that item from the Bag of Holding, they might have slept all night before realizing it was gone. They’re both relieved that they now know so much more about how the Tombtakers fight, especially the anti-magic cone. The most anxiety-ridden part was when they were trying to run and the TTs weren’t letting them. “You know when you don’t even have squares, when Matt’s black-tableclothing it, you’re in deep shit.” Laura had no spells left - she was so worried if she dropped the polymorph she would have had nothing left.

Travis: “Thanks for healing me, babe.” Laura: “You’re welcome, baby. It was ultimately a waste, though, because we took a rest immediately and you could just spend your hit dice.” Everyone laughs at Travis’s pain. She does say it was worth it in the moment since they didn’t know if they would be able to get away.

They joke that Laura’s just wearing the Fire Resist ring on a chain around her neck/Sprinkle is wearing it now to keep it safe since she’s not attuned to it anymore. It’s pretty hilarious!

Travis hoped that the TTs were originally actively looking for more acolytes rather than just having Caleb & Beau read the book. Otis needs to die. He’s relieved they have an idea of what all their blood rites do. Laura thought the time with them was fun, but it makes her retroactively wish that she’d dropped Zoran in the lava when they had the chance. Travis wishes they’d put a chime on the door of the tower.

Laura loved the tarot card reading, since Taliesin sent her really detailed breakdowns of the cards & gave her a real deck for Christmas. Taliesin told her she did a great job afterwards which she really appreciated, since she’s not sure what she’s doing. She does wish that she knew why Lucien seemed so nervous when she was talking about rebirth.

Cosplay of the Week! @clever_comics on twitter with a lovely Veth in her snowy lavender-colored outfit and pigtails.

Travis on confessing to Jester: “It FUCKING made me crazy!” He’s never been an instigator of campaign romances in the past, but because he loves Laura and was able to connect to her on that level he felt like it was a good challenge instead. He doesn’t think he could have done it with someone he wasn’t comfortable with. It was also important to him for it to be founded on real-game moments and after real-game time had passed, and he felt it was a very natural progression. Seeing the statues rip five years from her in such a benign situation made him realize that to let the opportunity pass wouldn’t have been worth it. He wishes he’d told Vandran what he meant to Fjord as well.

Laura loves that Fjord is becoming more confident as well. The post-Gelidon smooch took Laura completely by surprise since she’s finding Jester is a little surprisingly awkward with IRL affection, and she was surprised Fjord was the confident one there. “It’s so wonderful. It’s a matter of finding a way to get comfortable with it with her away from the Tombtakers.” Travis thought it was important to continue the “go for it” mantra. He notes that he’s pretty private about his personal life IRL, so it’s been a bit of a shift. It’s slower in a way - not a “you’re my one true love” kind of thing, more of a “let’s see where this goes and act on what you can” thing.

They were all “poopin’ in their pants” to get to go to Emon. The worst part was not getting to explore outside the tower since they had to leave again immediately. Kima is so cool, and Travis was actively trying to get Kima to come with them. Everyone boggles that they got to borrow Allura’s staff.

Laura only was thinking about the item-tuned-to-the-target-plane because she’d been texting with Liam trying to iron out their spell choices. She’s so relieved that they were able to get something tuned to the Sea from Allura.

For the most part, Laura knows what spells are the most useful for Jester, but every now and then she does get caught by major component requirements that she hadn’t noted. She wants to get another chalice for Hero’s Feast before they go into the Sea.

Dani points out that a lot of their allies right now are mages (no Kashaws, no Kimas, no Grogs) and they’re heading to a bad place for mages.

Travis has a sudden brain wave about all the TTs being from the Claret Order and wonders if they should investigate that before they pursue. I don’t even remember what that order is and I feel terrible!

Fanart of the Week! It’s a beautiful card by @crovyne on twitter of the Cree counterspell.

Laura really wants Brian to shave the sides of his hair and do Viking braids in the rest. I didn’t want to say anything out loud, but Brian’s hair is really looking pretty...pandemicky.

This is Dani’s four-year-anniversary of her start for Critical Role! Awww, Dani! You’re so short in real life.

Fjord is stoked that the Star Razor is a Vestige, and more now that he knows in-character what that means. It was great to see Allura react the way she did.

Jester doesn’t think they can really go to Nicodranas - they don’t have anymore time. Even more, Jester’s avoiding going home because she doesn’t want the Ruby to see that she got aged up/hurt on her travels.

Travis honestly assumes that the TTs are spying on them 100% of the time now.

Does Jester feel better now that the crest is away from Lucien? Yes, even though it’s gone off course. She thought dropping the crest where they were was a HORRIBLE idea and was appalled so many people were suggesting it. She saw the city with her own eyes, knows the danger of what’s coming, and if they had dropped it in flight she would have dropped with it and defended it as long as she could if that’s what would have kept them from getting it.

Travis thinks that if they can negotiate with Lucien, they should try. Everyone is super worried about Caleb’s and Beau’s new eyes and are fully anticipating they’re on a clock at this point. They wonder if it’ll drive up their exhaustion, allow Lucien to force them to fight against them, maybe make them willing slaves to the mysterious voice...they need to solve it sooner rather than later.

And that’s all for tonight! New episode this Thursday - usual time, usual place. Stay warm, friends, and is it Thursday yet?

#talks machina #talks machina spoilers #critical role #critical role spoilers #long post for ts

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wizardingworld-imagines · 3 years

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Scars - Bill Weasley

Pairing - Bill Weasley x reader

Requested? - Yes! By a sweet anon

Word Count - 1.1k

Warnings - mentions of trauma, self hatred, hints to ptsd/depression

A/N - Thank you for your request! I’m sorry this took me so long to write and post but I hope you enjoy!

Y/N hadn’t been the same since the Greyback attack. They thought that they would eventually grow into their new appearance, that the scars would be a mark of bravery, but everytime Y/N saw them, they only thought that they were now disfigured. That they were ugly for both the marks they had physically left upon Y/N’s features, but ugly also for the trauma embedded in their mind. Every glimpse of them brought the moment flooding back, clear in their mind. How helpless they were, how Bill was unable to do anything as the love of his life was attacked by Greyback. Luckily, Y/N was not turned into a werewolf themself, but this fact alone could not resolve the mental torment they face when seeing the healing wounds across their features.

Y/N had been avoiding Bill as much as possible since the event. Not because they were mad at him though, because they couldn't face him, knowing they didn’t look the same, especially not with their face half wrapped in bandages to keep the wounds clean. They were ashamed of their appearance, with or without the bandages.

All week, Bill had been anxious to talk to Y/N. He needed to be there for them, to support them through these troubling times, yet he had been shut out, and that was the issue. Since leaving St Mungo’s, Y/N had insisted on sleeping in a separate room, and wouldn’t leave if they knew Bill was out in the house. They had become a recluse, a shell of their former self. And this worried Bill. Countless times he had spoken to his mother, asking her if she could help him, but every time Molly told him to wait. That Y/N would come out of the spare room when they were ready, and that he shouldn’t force them. And he respected that, but his worries overwhelmed him, he just wanted Y/N to be ok. Nightmares plagued him, of the events that occurred leading up to, and including, Y/N’s attack. He felt so powerless, looking on as he could do nothing to save Y/N. He often wondered if they blamed him for the event, and that was why they were hiding away from him, that it was all his fault. He blamed himself, he should have done more to prevent it all, that should have been him, not his sweet Y/N.

~~~

Three weeks had passed, and nothing was changing between the couple. They had fallen into a routine of not seeing each other, but it was enough to drive Bill insane. He needed to see Y/N, whether they were ready or not.

The knocking on the spare bedroom door where Y/N resided was soft and gentle, knuckles tapping on the wood, an alert to Y/N that he was at the door.

‘Y/N, can I come in please?’ He asks quietly, his hand placed on the doorknob, ready to enter the room, regardless of the answer.

Bill hears shuffling in the room, but with no obligation to his request, he opens the door, unsure of what to expect. The first thing he notices is how the mirror, which previously sat upon the dressing table, was on the floor and smashed, crystals of glass littering the floor, luminated by the gentle sunlight coming through the window. When he looks towards the bed, there is Y/N, facing away from him and his heart breaks, much like the mirror laying at his feet. He glimpses over at them, and can see their disheveled hair against the simple white cotton of the pillow. He makes his way over to the bed, placing himself next to Y/N on the bed. Without saying a word, he pulls them into himself closely. The tender embrace startles Y/N, who wasn’t expecting anything like this from him. They roll closer to him, enjoying their time together before he notices their face, before the moment is ruined. But that never comes. When he sees Y/N’s face, all he can do is kiss their scars gently. He still looks at them like the most beautiful person in the world, these marks don’t change anything to him.

Things got easier over time, Y/N felt less ashamed about their scars, allowing family and friends to visit their modest home. But one visit was far more memorable in the minds of everyone involved than others.

It was a summer’s afternoon, and Mr and Mrs Weasley had popped around to check in on Y/N and how they were doing. Bill was in the kitchen with his mother discussing something, while Y/N and Mr Weasley were in the living room, discussing some muggle items the couple had within their home that he was so fascinated by. Y/N could hear the hushed whispering from the kitchen, but tried to pay it no mind, but some phrases were prominent, and their curiosity got the best of them.

‘Bill, you best tell that lovely partner of yours that they are supported by all of us, you know how we feel about them and we love them just the same’ Molly insists, making sure Bill knows the feelings of herself and the family as a whole.

‘I know mum, I try. Y/N’s just having a hard time, especially since we were supposed to get married and now they think they’ve ruined everything’ Bill responds with a sigh. ‘I still want to marry them, I really really do’

Y/N, hearing this, excuses themself from the conversation they were previously having with Mr Weasley about the functions of a paperweight, and takes themself out into the kitchen. Molly smiles at them, pulling them into a quick hug, stroking the back of their hair to let them know that everything will be ok. Y/N pulls away from Mrs Weasley, turning towards Bill.

‘You still want to marry me? After everything?’ Y/N asks him, an unsure look upon their face.

‘Of course I do. So what, you have scars now? They don’t change who you are or why I love you’ He states, clasping Y/N’s hand and tracing his thumb over their engagement ring,

A smile forms on Y/N’s features, the first one in a long time, and they whisper an ‘I love you’ back at Bill, knowing that they’re safe with him, and that sure, maybe they have scars and aren’t happy with how they look, but there are others who will always love them, who will find them beautiful regardless.

#harry potter imagines #hp imagines #bill weasley x reader #bill weasley imagine #bill weasley imagines

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reversemoon255 · 3 years

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(This is the final of a three-part series chronicling the development and ideas behind “Dungeons ‘n’ Dragonites,” a Pokémon DnD campaign. This last entry will be about the final string of encounters, some of the later ideas for story elements, and a deep dive into the overarching themes of the campaign’s Starters. Speaking of, the fantastic art of them, along with many of the other original Pokémon seen here, was done by @extyrannomon on Twitter, and I highly suggest you check them out.)

Dungeons ‘n’ Dragonites - Phase 3: Fauxchemine

Like the Queen Durant, the Steelix/Glacix fight would have been a transitory battle between phases of the campaign, taking place right before the Starters were about to evolve for the final time. Glacix was an idea I came up with early in development. As Rock, Steel, and Ice have a relationship throughout Pokémon, having Onix evolve into a specially tanky Ice-Type rather than the physically tanky Steelix made sense. This was also a design I put a lot of work into the actual proportions, like stretching its face vertically as Onix is circular, and Steelix is horizontally stretched. Also, as Steelix has two long spikes on every other segment, Glacix has four smaller spikes in the same pattern.

Glacix was also the first of the four penultimate boss encounters before the close of the campaign, each representing one of the four sacred beasts of Chinese mythology. I thought it would be a pattern that players could recognize and possibly plan ahead for. Glacix was always planned as the Phase 2-to-3 transitory boss, but I actually had roughly prototyped the other three before I realized Glacix fit into role of the Azure Dragon (which I was missing).

The second of the bosses, representing both the Black Tortoise and Rare Variants, was a Dire Torterra. The idea was this Torterra was symbiotic, housing a Sudowoodo instead of a tree, and hiding its identity was a shiny Altaria capable of Mega Evolving thanks to the Key Stone that had replaced one of Torterra’s stone spikes. This was a rough concept, and I’m sure it would have changed drastically by the time the players would actually encounter it.

Third, representing both the White Tiger and Ultra Beasts, was Shora (from Shodo and Tora, the Japanese words for calligraphy and tiger). A pure white tiger that paints floating, metal stripes above its body with its brush-like tail. This was an idea I was very happy with, though I lacked the artistic abilities to render it effectively. If I remember correctly, the markings above its shoulder were based on the Kanji for Tiger. I also hadn’t settled on an ability for it, which was key for depicting Ultra Beasts in this campaign.

And the last of the penultimate bosses was Phanic, being a second Ultra Beast and representing the Vermilion Phoenix. Sadly, I had little planned for this guy apart from some concept designs, like the rest of them. I was working on these as the campaign was starting, and didn’t pursue finishing them after its premature conclusion.

Phanic (from Phoenix and Panic) is actually an Ostrich. If you picture a phoenix, you typically imagine great plumes of feathers around the head, wings, and tail, which are all things Ostriches specifically lack, and I wanted to subvert that typical depiction. I liked the idea that when it was startled, it would scatter its feathers resulting in an exclamation point forming using the spot on its face. It was supposed to seem unassuming compared to the many larger and more imposing bosses, though just as dangerous. Also, it was Electric-Type because it is frequently “shocked” *Ba-dum-tish.*

=====

Let’s talk about our players. One of the backstory elements our Grass Trainer, Ethan, had was that his parents’ restaurant was struck by lightning and destroyed some time before he went to school, and saw a Pokémon at that time. This left him with a fear of lightning (ironically picking an Electric-Type Starter). With this knowledge, and as I was using Ultra Beasts, I altered his backstory slightly so that it was caused by a Xurkitree, and would eventually encounter one during the campaign with his victory over it (probably with a lot of Wisdom Saves) curing his phobia.

Johnny, our Fire Trainer, had a goal of becoming an entertainer, but was vague about what kind. I had an idea for a “Streamer” Trainer Class he could run into. Someone who uses their Rotom Phone to live stream battles and get reactions and advice from their chat. (Let’s face it, if Pokémon were real, this would totally be a thing.) There was also DJ Tomomitsu, who runs Stelopy City’s Trainer Radio, and was a Gym Leader. The idea was to present a bunch of different Pokémon-based entertainment ideas and professions and have him decide which ideas he liked and wanted to pursue.

While our other players were aiming for careers, Orion, our Water Trainer, was more interested in exploring his relationship with his family. His father in particular; both he and his wife being high-ranking executives for Silph Co., and raising their children to also be successful. However, Orion had always wanted to be a Trainer, and it was his parents that prevented him from adventuring. I had it that his father was so against the idea was because he, too, was a Trainer in his youth. But not a successful one, failing many more times than he succeeded, and didn’t want his son to suffer the same disappointments as he did. His partner was Rhyperior, btw.

Lastly was our Fairy Trainer, Arthur. He wanted to be a Gym Leader, and cited specific interest in the Galar League. He also mentioned in his back story that his father was belligerent and against the idea. While the Leaders of the Galar League are entertainers by profession, if you look at the list of Gym Leaders and Kahunas in US equivalent regions, almost all of them have a profession and run Gyms on the side:

(Restaurant Owner, Museum Curator, Artist, Model, Business Tycoon, Pilot, Actor, Teacher, Rock Star, Mayor, Shop Owner, Police Officer; 12/15)

It felt like a hobby, rather than a career, and I ran with this idea as it seemed like Arthur and his obsession with the Galar League hadn’t noticed this fact (nor had his player), but his father had and was pushing him into a sports-based career (one that is usually lucrative and has off-seasons) so he could have a well-paying job and time on the side for his interests, similar to Orion’s father.

Though, no DM can control their players, and even by the end of our fist session I could tell I would have to change some things. It’s just good to have some idea of where to lead everyone, and adjust as you go.

=====

There’s one more Pokémon I want to talk about before we get to the Starters.

This is Necrotiti (Combining Necro with the Egyptian God Nefertiti), an evolution of Cofagrigus, evolving if it’s holding an item called the “Ceremonial Jar” (literally a jar filled with Yamask’s human intestines). It was meant to evolve from the Yamask they could catch during their museum field trip. The reason it exists is... silly. It’s another instances where I wanted to surprise my players, and giving the “Gardevoir Treatment” to what I consider the creepiest Pokémon was funny (which I feel is a reason I cite a lot). And I was really happy with this design, which is why it got commissioned.

A lot of the original ideas I had for this campaign were meant to either surprise or creep out my players. Everyone I was playing with knew Pokémon very well, so I had this fear that if I presented them with a standard adventure they would either become bored or be able to easily predict where things were going. Having a Pokémon adventure within a single city, having it be more a mystery than a collect-a-thon, and using new Pokémon were all ways I came up with to keep interest high and have them guessing as to what would happen next.

Back to Necrotiti, despite having a sarcophagus Pokémon, we didn’t get a mummy. I wanted to make the body effeminate without being overly so, which is why her body is very geometrical in specific areas. For the mask, I went with a typical Egyptian Nubian motif mixed with some of the overall design elements and basic lines from Yamask, and the colors and patterns from Cofagrigus. But despite how much I like it, I don’t know if I would have used it. It didn’t match the Mutant Evolution concept, with its only similarity being that it’s a rare occurrence.

Onto the Starters: Epipesis has evolved into Drachenura (from Dragon, Lichen, and Meganeura). Grass Starters are typically based on extinct animals, and Flymph’s line is based on a Meganeura (an ancient species of giant dragonfly). Apart from some bulking out and additional colors, the lichen sacks in its tail are now yellow, as the plant matter has evolved with it. It supplies it with so much energy that it has to constantly move while the sun’s up to burn it off. Its tail tip is also based on the X-15, the fastest aircraft to date, as it was designed to be the fastest Grass-Type.

Steared has evolved into Auradiat (from Aura, Auroch, and Radiate). Now a Fire/Ice-Type, it’s based on an extinct species of cattle found around the time of the Ice Age. Its ability to absorb energy with its horns has become so powerful that they have frozen over. When I was originally designing it, I was actually trying to base it on the phrase “Irish Bull” (meaning a paradoxical statement), but as I kept working on it, it became more and more Minotaur-like, so I kept the Fire/Ice-Typing and dropped the more abstract elements. As I did, I actually made it more bull and less Minotaur since all Fire Starters are bipedal, and I wanted to try and avoid that.

Knaval has evolved into Chivalazuli (from Chivalier, the French word for knight, and Lapis Lazuli). This was probably my favorite example of features naturally changing as it evolves, with the antenna growing longer and the shield and lance growing harder (going from carapace, to stone, to crystal). Some of the things you might not have noticed at first glace were his forelegs becoming sub-arms on his chest, him gaining the lobster nose and it becoming a face guard, and how his eyes recess into his head. Also, almost every Starter is symmetrical (apart from patterns), with the only exception being Torterra, so I designed it to be asymmetrical throughout.

And Uteteo has evolved into Makutah (from the Aztec naming scheme used for their Gods of wealth and abundance and Utahraptor). He’s Fairy/Flying, with the gold adornments that first appeared on Uteteo now on his head and arms, giving him a more bird-like appearance. The idea was to have him naturally evolve from a Dinosaur into a bird, with the leg bands making them look more like talons, and the face mask giving him a beak. Also, he starts out with the singular sickle toe raptors are known for, and gets a new one every evolution, ending with a full set.

The thing that sets these Starters apart from ones you’d find in the games is that these are designed to be a team. As such, there are a few themes they all share to help reinforce that. (This ignores Utaw, but) All the Starters, throughout their evolutions, have a distinct yellow detail on their heads (eyes, nose ring, and antenna). Furthermore, once they reach their final stages, they share colors between them, with Drachenura having red on its extremities, Auradiat having blue neck fur, and Chivalazuli having flecks of green in its gemstone. And on top of that, they also all have two overarching themes. First is they all represent different time periods, with Drachenura being pre-humans (Precambrian), Auradiat being prehistoric humans (Ice Age), and Chivalazuli being more modern (Medieval Period). Secondly they all represent DnD, with a Dragon(fly), Auradiat filling the role of a minotaur and its connection to a labyrinth/dungeon, and the adventurous knight who traverses them.

There’s also reasoning behind their types, as all three’s secondary Types are also strong against their usual counterpart (Grass and Electric are both strong against Water, Fire and Ice against Grass, and Water and Rock against Fire). Furthermore, Electric, Ice, and Rock are all strong against Flying, which is the reason behind Makutah’s Type (a joke against the player who joined late).

Makutah does fit into these themes, but more loosely as it was created later. Utaw and Uteteo lack the yellow facial details (though they do have yellow eyes), only really achieving this during their final evolution. He also doesn’t share any colors, as Fairy is outside the usual threesome. It does somewhat fit into the themes of the others, but not as cleanly. Utaw, being a Dinosaur, is still pre-humans, but closer to them than Flymph is, and having Aztec themes puts him past Medieval and closer to the Renaissance in terms of human history, but is very close compared to the other time gaps. Also, the gold was partly to fit him into the DnD theme, representing treasure.

=====

One of the first things the players were told at the beginning of the campaign, and was reinforced throughout, was that Pokémon from outside the Wellou Region were mysteriously popping up all over the place, with the Ultra Beasts being the most extreme example. As to the cause, there were a number of red herrings. Silph Co. employees could occasionally be seen in areas where UBs were with strange equipment, Tomomitsu could occasionally be found before something would show up, and there were a few other strange characters like the Regional Champion or Silph Co.’s president. The only definite thing they would know was that there was a strange, creepy, grey Charizard that would occasionally appear when they took something down.

However, it would eventually be revealed that the above were only trying to understand what was going on, and prevent the appearances of such dangerous Pokémon, like our heroes. And as a massive Ultra Wormhole appears above the city, they come face-to-face with the true mastermind. Not an evil team, or a lone conqueror. Merely a single, twisted Pokémon. And our heroes have interfered with its fun long enough.

“You stare up at the now familiar form of the grey Charizard, which stares back with unblinking, dead eyes... Its mouth stretches wide, wide enough to swallow you whole, and a hand appears. And another. And another. Four skeletal hands pry its maw open from the inside, stretching it until its skin falls down to settle on its hips. What looks down on you now, with a single, glowing eye, is a monstrous form made of bone and rotting flesh. And witnessing the four of you before it, it lets out a high-pitched, chilling laugh...

“‘Fofofofofo...’“

Fauxchemine. A sadistic Ultra Beast capable of warping time and space to its will. All the disturbances throughout the town, all the strange creatures that have appeared, all the monsters sent to terrorize our heroes; all the result of its twisted sense of fun, and the consequences of getting in the way of it.

So there’s a running joke among my friends that we all “hate” Charizard. Not actually, but it’s always pushed in marketing with new forms and such, even though its popularity has been dropping steadily over the years. As such, I thought it would be somewhat cathartic to have the big bad they have to beat up at the end be related to Charizard. ‘Chemine’s skeletal nature comes from trying to cinematicly picture the encounter in my mind, with the eerie image of the mouth stretching open from the dialogue earlier. With bone white and rotten greens, the skin wasn’t meant to reflect Charizard as a shiny, but rather with all its color drained from it, as it’s more a puppeted skin than an actual part of the Pokémon. And as many Pokémon draw inspiration from Kaiju, ‘Chemine does, too, specifically calling back to an Ultra-Kaiju named Greeza with space warping abilities.

It’s Steel/Dragon with Thick Fat. When planning encounters, especially this late into the game, Auradiat made things tough since its offensive Typing is insane, and that combination made it resistant to all of the Starter Types except Fairy. This was supposed to be the toughest fight in the campaign, so I wanted to build a Pokémon that would be difficult to deal damage to. A swift Pokémon able to warp around the field, summoning Ultra Beasts or other versions of Charizard as adds or for specific attacks, I wanted this to be memorably difficult.

Oh, and the name? It’s meant to rhythmically sound like “Pokémon,” with the ‘faux’ symbolizing its disguise, and the ‘mine’ representing its personality. Everything in this world is its to play with.

But that giant Ultra Wormhole wasn’t just for show. Part-way through Phase 2 our players were sucked through a Wormhole themselves, both they and Fauxchemine bearing witness to a titanic creature as they did, and upon its defeat, it is let loose upon the city:

Standing over 100ft tall is Wreknarogg (from wreck, to destroy, Níðhöggr, a massive world-ending creature from Norse mythology, and Ragnarok, the end of the world). A massive symbiotic group of four Pokémon from a dead world, the whale-squid Bayleige, the parasitic Serrasite, and the barnacle Rhizocano. This was actually the first symbiotic Pokémon I designed, and its creation sparked the others like Shiinotic and Torterra so this wouldn’t be the first time our players encountered one.

Whales are the largest creatures on Earth, so using one as the base for a kaiju-sized Pokémon fit. It also helped that the prototype designs for the Cloverfield monster were based on a whale, so I had something to go on. Secondly, I really like a lot of the eldritch design philosophy, and a lot of those are based on sea creatures, which is where the combined squid elements came from. Also, when I was prototyping the design and trying to make it creepier, a friend suggested having a parasite coming out of its blowhole, which is what sparked the creation of Serrasite and Rhizocano (as whale’s are known to have such parasites in real life).

This was a design very inspired by the world it was supposed to inhabit. Coming from a desert world where they are the only living things remaining, they symbiotically support each other to stave off their own inevitable death, with Bayleige able to create rain with its ability and Rhizocano able to make artificial sunlight to feed Serrasite. Serrasite then gives energy to Bayleige to allow it to keep moving, and Rhizocano takes energy from Bayleige. It’s an incomplete system where energy is slowly lost over time.

Stage 2 of the final boss wasn’t supposed to be as intense as the last one. A gimmick for this fight was, at the start of every round, I was going to roll a D100, and an event would happen. They would be things like their friends showing up with healing items, trainers they knew joining the battle, wild Pokémon they’d befriended getting in pot shots, etc. It was meant to be a fun, celebratory, “you’re at the end of the campaign” fight rather than an intense one off the back of another. I was even considering having everyone use their full parties.

But after it’s defeated, a thick, dark haze enshrouds everyone. With their allies gone, and left with just their Starters, our players are alone in a dark void. I did say there were four Pokémon earlier...

And the final encounter is Wreknarogg (Core). The Pokémon who brought the three titans together, and controls them while siphoning off some of their energy to survive. Similar to Phanic, this was another unassuming Pokémon. Designed to resemble a virus while calling back to aspects from mythical Pokémon like Jirachi or Manaphy. I understand it might not feel as climactic as there wasn’t any set-up compared to ‘Chemine, who was shown throughout, or the previous Wreknarogg, who was foreshadowed, but I wanted a 3-stage boss fight, and this felt like a good way of concluding it.

While stage 1 was supposed to be difficult, and stage 2 was meant to be fun and call back to the long journey, stage 3 was an un-losable, cinematic fight with a somewhat somber tone to it. It was the final fight, the end of it all, and there’s a certain level of sadness that comes with that in accordance with the jubilation of completion. It was also meant to see how much everyone had grown; how would they handle this encounter? Fight it? Catch it? Persuade it? Maybe I haven’t listened to enough DnD finalés, but in how many can you beat the final boss by being nice to it and calming it down?

=====

And that’s the end. There would be some sort of epilogue, picking up with our characters some months or years later, but that’s not something I could write without witnessing the actions of the players. I was debating having everything that came from an Ultra Wormhole be sucked back in after Fauxchemine’s defeat, including the Starters (pull a Digimon Tamers), but as Wreknarogg came from a dead world I thought that a little cruel.

And to end things how I usually do; Overall, despite not getting off the ground, I was very happy with this project. I’m the type to pick up and drop projects frequently, and the fact that I stuck with and continued to work on it for months was something I was really proud of. It was also a great learning experience on many levels. And who knows; maybe I might do something like this again in the future...?

#Pokemon #Dungeons and Dragons #DnD #dnd homebrew #Onix #Steelix #Torterra #Sudowoodo #Altaria #Yamask #Cofagrigus #Charizard #Whale #Ultra Beast

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theparanormalperiodical · 3 years

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Top 10 Scariest Horror Films You Didn't Know Were Based On A TRUE Story feat. Trailers + Where To Watch

There’s something about horror films that are based on real events that just make me weak.

So weak, in fact, I’ve decided to spend the last *checks watch* one and a half years of my early 20s delving into the facts and the fiction haunting the horror genre.

My parents must be so proud.

Most of these films wear the badge of ‘this is reality or close enough to it, anyway’ with dignity, leveraging gullible paranormalists like me to drive ticket sales. The Conjuring (2013) is just one of these films that is explicit in its basis in reality, going on to rake in 16 times its budget and inspiring me to delve deeper into my occultist journey.

(No, really, they’re so proud.)

But the ventures of Ed and Lorraine Warren are not the only experiences of horrifying and haunting events to be reinterpreted via the silver screen. There are some horror films you wouldn’t expect to have reality flushing through their veins.

Some of horror’s biggest hitters aren’t just living in your nightmares. They actually happened IRL.

Which is, ummm, fine, yeah, it’s not like I need to sleep anyway.

*Stay tuned to discover the horror films you didn’t know were based on true stories and the real accounts that inspired them.*

Jaws (1975)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1fu_sA7XhE

This cinematic classic follows the adventures of a great white shark as it terrorises the summer resort town of Amity. A couple of corpses later, and the local police chief, rookie marine biologist, and wild-card shark hunter track the beast down themselves.

Most horror films use a person or a story as a basis for a film. Jaws, however, is an amalgamation of experiences recorded by the writer of the novel inspiring the film, Peter Benchley.

Benchley admittedly had a life-long obsession with sharks and was inspired to write a book on a rogue great white after reading about a bloke called Frank Mundus.

"...in 1964, I read an item in a newspaper about a fisherman who harpooned a 4,500-pound great white shark off Long Island. I remember thinking at the time, Lord! What would happen if one of those monsters came into a resort community and wouldn't go away?”

Quint, the wild card shark hunter, was based directly on Mundus.

Another influence, although not referenced by Benchley, was the 1916 New Jersey shark attacks.

In high summer, five Americans were attacked by a great white off the coast of the Jersey Shore with 4 falling victim to their wounds. For the next 11 days, the same shark cruised along the 70 miles of the beach towns and small villages. The shark even performed the first shark attack reported in US history, countering the long-standing belief that sharks couldn’t bite through human bone.

(Spoiler alert: they can.)

When beach goers came to the beach early morning to discover the 3rd victim bitten in half, this was disproven. After that discovery - which bares a striking resemblance to the opening scenes of Jaws - the story hit The New York Times front page.

Just like the film the mayors tried to deny there was a deadly shark making the rounds to secure profit to their seaside resorts. And just like the film a swimmer was even mauled in an estuary.

It wasn’t long before they settled on the identity of the perpetrator and the locals set off with rifles and pitchforks.

(Not sure how useful they’d be against a shark, but okay.)

The shark met its end after it attacked one of the hunters’ boats, a scene we also witness in the film.

You can rent it for £2.50 on Amazon Prime.

Deliver Us From Evil (2014)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWDM_p68HAQ

We follow a policeman who has a side gig as an exorcist as he encounters strange goings on in the Bronx. Ralph Sarchie chases up the paranormal activity and attempts to untangle why possessed people are painting ancient messages and images in various places.

Here’s the thing: none of this actually happened. As far as we know, anyway.

What this film is based on is the real Ralph Sarchie who wrote the memoir Beware The Night as an ode to his work as a demonologist. It’s based on his character, his tone of voice, and how he carried out his work.

Sarchie presents his work as his destiny, as some form of divine intervention he believes was signalled by his survival of a severe illness he contracted when he was 10.

He claims to carry a splinter of the ‘true cross’ - I guess the one Jesus actually died on - and considers himself more of a priestly figure armed with relics and holy water than a paranormal investigator.

Sarchie has worked on many possessions and hauntings, claiming he didn’t charge a cent despite the high fee he probably got from the book sales and the film’s debut. The most famous tale is that of the ‘Halloween Horror’:

A woman named Gabby began to see a woman floating in a cloud of white smoke in the corner of her bedroom. It wasn’t long before this smoky woman began to speak through Gabby according to her partner Dominick.

Gabby’s friend then says this was the ghost of a woman murdered on her wedding night. She then apparently saw the spirit of her father. Activity followed with flying books, moans and growls, and the word ‘HELP’ written on the mirror. Eventually an incubus rocks up and is hell bent on attacking various family members.

When Gabby gets possessed in the presence of Sarchie and his paranormal-busting-partner, he exorcises her of the spirit.

In total, Sarchie has assisted in 25 exorcisms and hundreds of ‘house exorcisms’.

You can watch it for free on Netflix.

The Blob (1958/1988)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdUsyXQ8Wrs

*cue the canned screams*

In some rural town in America, a meteorite crashes to the ground. Someone investigates and a jelly globule attaches itself to their hand before consuming it. It then begins to consume their entire body. It’s not long before it starts to consume, well, everyone and everything in its path.

8 years before the horror icon first became a cult classic, two police officers in Philadelphia saw something float down from the sky. They thought it was a parachute and decided to investigate.

What they discovered was a six feet wide purple glob of odourless gloop. It was filled with crystals and gave off a mist. One of the police officers took the plunge - quite literally - and dipped a hand in. He kept the hand, but noticed the sticky residue left on his hands.

The gloop quickly disappeared and left the grass underneath it unbent. It was allegedly only there for 25 minutes. They were the only ones that saw it. It soon made its way into the press and the FBI asked the Air Force to investigate. They declined.

You can watch it for £3.50 on Amazon Prime.

Wolf Creek (2005)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8S13W69FQhs

Two British tourists are backpacking across Australia when they run into trouble in Wolf Creek National Park. A helpful local offers to help fix their broken down car and provide some shelter. Turns out the helpful local is actually a psychopathic xenophobic murderer. He entraps tourists, lures them to his shelter, and tortures/kills them.

Most gory horror films can be compared to real life murders and other crimes. Unfortunately, even the most imaginative forms of torture or murder has probably already happened. But the film was directly based on the backpacker murders committed by Ivan Milat in the 90s.

Milat murdered 7 people aged 19 to 22, preying on those encouraged to backpack across Australia after several tourism campaigns revealed how cheap and easy it was. In ‘92 and ‘93 the bodies were discovered in Belanglo State Forest with the wounds and injuries suggesting the scenes played out in film were similar to those Milat committed.

In late ‘93 a force dedicated to hunting the unknown killer emerged. It used gym memberships, gun licensing, and police records to narrow down a list of 32 suspects.

It was only when Paul Onions, a British backpacker reported he was nearly murdered near Belanglo State Forest that the police could pinpoint that Milat.

You can watch it for £2 on Amazon Prime.

Open Water (2004)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9q1qJi1nMs

It’s everyone’s worst nightmare: being left in the middle of the ocean. A distant couple decide to take a relaxing break and head out for a scuba-diving vacation. Their holiday is ruined, however, when the guy driving the boat f*cks up the head count and thinks everyone is back on board after a diving sesh. The couple come back to the surface and discover the boat is gone.

Yep, this all happened in real life.

In 1998, Thomas and Eileen Lonergan went on a scuba diving trip to Australia’s Coral Sea. They were mistakenly stranded by the boat crew leading the dive and their absence wasn’t noticed until 2 days later when a bag containing their belongings was discovered.

The crew and other rescue teams searched the area but did not discover their bodies. Personal belongings were found.

A diver’s slate - a device for communicating underwater - was one of these items.

"Monday Jan 26; 1998 08am. To anyone who can help us: We have been abandoned on A[gin]court Reef by MV Outer Edge 25 Jan 1998 3pm. Please help to rescue us before we die. Help!!!"

The other items that washed up, including a wetsuit, suggested they had probably not fallen victim to shark attacks but had become disoriented, dehydrated, or injured by coral. Alternate theories claim it may have been a murder-suicide to avoid the slow, distressing death of being left at sea, or that it was a faked death/disappearance. No bank accounts had been tampered with, however.

Tougher regulations for scuba-diving in Australia shortly followed their disappearance.

You can watch it for free on Amazon Prime.

The Rite (2011)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hG3ktopqv8

We follow exorcist-in-training Father Gary Thomas as he navigates the loss of this faith. When the opportunity for fighting growing demonic possessions arises, Thomas decides to become an exorcist. We see Thomas as he is confronted by evil and reaffirms his devotion to God.

Portrayed by veteran actor Anthony Hopkins, Father Gary Thomas is a real American exorcist - one of the 14 Vatican-verified exorcists working State-side. He did in fact study in the Vatican to become an exorcist, and another student he met there would chronicle his experiences in the book The Rite: The Making of a Modern Exorcist.

Thomas even spent a week on set advising the director, utilising his experiences of the 100 odd people he had seen possessed in his career.

Just like in the film, Thomas echoes that most people that come to him for an exorcism have been abused in their past, linking mental health issues to demonic attachment. Thomas also has a lot of praise for the film, claiming the way those possessed moved in a serpentine way is accurate to those he has seen:

“I was beginning to do some deliverance prayers. Within a few minutes she began to tremor and her facial countenance began to change. You saw a snake. She began sticking her tongue out like a snake and hissing and rolling her eyes. She coiled herself up.”

- Father Gary Thomas on a possessed Venezualan woman

You can watch this on Amazon Prime for £2.50.

The Silence Of The Lambs (1991)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6Mm8Sbe__o

Anthony Hopkins refers to a staple horror film - a film with truth spilling like blood from a bloated corpse…

This psychological horror sees an FBI trainee as they work with an imprisoned serial killer to hunt down a murderer, Buffalo Bill. Add in just a dash of transphobia and we arrive at the film that made my parents actually walk out of the cinema when they first saw it.

First, let’s talk about Hannibal Lecter and his role as an advisor to the FBI: this has actually happened, using a seasoned killer to catch another. The most famous example of this is none other than Ted Bundy, one of the most infamous in history. Bundy told investigators to stake out the graves of victims or the places where bodies had been dumped as necrophiles like himself would return to the site.

Bundy actually helped them catch Gary Ridgeway who killed an estimated 90 people.

Now let’s turn to Buffalo Bill. The characters were never directly inspired by real people but their crimes were. He was an amalgamation of other crimes with Ed Gein serving as the main inspiration. Ed Gein, most known for skinning his victims and wearing the skins, took 9 lives and would also inspire the character Norman Bates.

He would make clothing out of body parts, make soup bowls from dug-up skulls, and build chairs from human bones.

Ted Bundy even made another appearance in Buffalo Bill’s character in terms of how he lures his victims, acting hurt and helpless until the victim was just within reach.

You can buy this film on Amazon Prime for £8.

Scream (1996)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWm_mkbdpCA

This satirical slasher redefined the genre, putting comedy firmly into horror as we know it. It follows Sidney Prescott, a preppy high school student, as she navigates high school drama and a rampant serial killer.

Just like The Silence Of The Lambs, the crimes witnessed in Scream had basis in reality. Daniel Rolling - the Gainesville Ripper - was an American serial killer who murdered 5 students in Florida within the short span of 4 days back in 1990.

Rolling would sexually assault, rape, threaten, and kill his young victims before leaving them in ‘sexual’ positions. He even decapitated one of those murdered and left the head on the shelf opposite the rest of the body amongst other vile acts. He later claimed his motive was to become a ‘superstar’ like Ted Bundy.

Yeah, that’s enough of that.

You can watch this on Amazon Prime for £2.50.

The Hills Have Eyes (1977/2006)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUQd9OB75dw

It’s time to hear about another vacay gone cray-cray. In the middle of a roadtrip to California, a family’s car breaks down in a mysterious area closed off to the public and they encounter a strange community of cannibals.

Instead of being based on modern crimes that hit far too close to home, this film is based on a historic event - or the legend of Sawney Bean.

Bean was a mythical leader of a cannibalistic group of insurgents in the 16th century. He grew up in a community of witches and later began his own community full of his children which he expanded with rampant incest. They would leave traps and eat their prey in a cave.

The King of Scotland, James VI, even led a team to root the family out of their lair. According to legend they were burnt at the stake while others were hung.

This tale also bears similarities to urban legends from Russia: there is a trope in the Southern Urals which claims after the Chernobyl accident irradiated peoples would become savage peoples, echoing the nuclear testing themes shown by the film.

You can watch this on Amazon Prime for £2.50.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1978)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKn9QIaMgtQ

In this cult class gore-fest we see a group of friends visit an old homestead but instead run into a family of murderous cannibals.

Yet again the crimes of Ed Gein make an appearance. The friends walk in on a home full of furniture made of human remains and meet a man - Leatherface - wearing a mask made of human skin. We also witness various people butchered in different brutal ways.

But this film also has a more political inspiration. Tobe Hooper - the director, producer, and writer - pinned his inspiration on changes in the cultural and political landscape, focusing on misinformation that overran America during the 70s.

*looks into camera a la Jim from The Office*

Hooper pinned the claims of a true story onto the film, responding to how he felt he was being lied to by the government regarding things like Watergate, the 1973 Oil Crisis, and the Vietnam War. The news only confirmed the brutal acts of humanity.

"man was the real monster here, just wearing a different face, so I put a literal mask on the monster in my film".

You can watch this for free on Amazon Prime.

Well that was, uhh, fun?

If you enjoyed these traumatic discoveries - you know, that some of the most terrifying horror films of all time are based on real people and crimes - then make sure you like ‘n’ reblog to let me know.

I post a new article on horror and the paranormal every Saturday + a new real ghost story everyday so make sure you hit follow to tag along for the ride!

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jasperwhitcock · 4 years

Text

02. DISTRACTIONS

i’ve decided to continue with the au of bella as a vampire & edward as a human inspired by a post from @bellasredchevy, so here’s another installment (you can read the first chapter here). if anyone has thoughts on if it’d be more preferable for me to post this fanfic on wattpad/fanfiction.net/another website rather than posting it on tumblr, let me know :-) if not, i’ll continue to post here & figure out some tag to make it easier to find!

The boys had left for a hunting trip, so I found myself falling victim to what Alice liked to call a “sleepover”. It was a ridiculous name for this kind of occasion. An unfortunate part of what we were consequently lost us the ability to sleep and thus, dream. I had found this to be something I considered an advantage when I was first changed. I had so much extra time I could devote to reading! Unfortunately, the excitement didn’t last very long. I still enjoyed the benefits of all the ample time, but I did miss the creativity of my subconscious that allowed me to live in other worlds unrestricted by the more sentient, aware parts of my mind. I missed escapism.

I even missed the nightmares at times. I had been such a vivid dreamer.

Additionally, it was even further ridiculous to refer to this as a sleepover when we spent every night together. Without the sleep and the ‘over’ aspect of spending the night away from home, this was definitely the worst sleepover I’d been to in the course of my existence.

Although, as a bonding time amongst the women of the Olympic Coven, with the exception of some of Alice’s ideas for activities, I enjoyed this kind of night very much. I’d have gone with the boys to hunt if I had any intention of returning to school tomorrow. I’d owe them an explanation when they returned as for the tension that filled the car as we drove home from school. I hated to be the center of attention, so I was appreciative when Alice and Rosalie agreed to keep the horrific encounter a secret for now. I didn’t want the scrutiny of their concern nor the dramatics of the situation.

I was lucky that they had plans with Carlisle. Rosalie was able to convince Emmett and Jasper to begin their night early by allowing us to drop them off at the hospital – much to the dismay of my bulkier brother who had spent his day eagerly anticipating our rematch. My other sister easily dismissed their suspicion of our motives. Nobody questioned Alice twice. I was glad to have more time to mull over what to say to Carlisle. As much as I wanted his guidance, if I could put off growing the audience to my moment of weakness for another couple of hours, I’d gladly take the distraction of Alice braiding my hair into a long plait down my back while she blasted music in the garage where Rosalie worked.

Typically when we had nights like these, we each selected an activity to do together. Alice made the choice – unfortunately for me – to sort through all of our closets and rid them of items she no longer deemed wearable. With the exception of a few favorites, we rarely wore the same things twice, so it seemed like a waste of time. That is until I realized that this was all just a ruse to chastise me for the items of clothing she stocked in my closet that I didn’t wear. My small, voyeuristic sister was pleased with Rosalie and Esme, creating a nice, substantial pile of clothing to donate, whereas my closet ended up acquiring even more clothing than before. I was far too moody to care to protest.

Esme arranged for the four of us to paint together while some french movie played in the background. As an added challenge, she had Alice describe a vision to us, and we all attempted to capture the image on our canvases. Rosalie simply wanted our company as she continued her ongoing project of restoring yet another classic car that she’d eventually gift as an item for a charity auction. My activity of choice usually was the same: I’d select a book for us to read, and we’d have a book club to conclude the night once we’d all finished.

Tonight, however, I wasn’t feeling entirely up for it. Although I definitely wouldn’t mind the fictional escape away from Forks, I didn’t have it in me to sincerely participate in the conversation that would follow.

I wanted to move beyond the events of this afternoon already. As much as it disconcerted me, I didn’t want to be so severely consumed. I was growing irritated with the feelings of disappointment that preoccupied me. I had taken my ease in this life for granted.

Although I knew it wasn’t his fault, I found myself becoming frustrated with the Masen kid. When I began to see eyes materializing in the green brush strokes of the trees of my painting, I unintentionally destroyed my canvas. Something about the perplexity in his shockingly perceptive irises and the intelligence that marked his thick eyebrows when they pulled together was inexplicably haunting me. The irony of feeling haunted when I was the undead creature was not lost on me.

“I’ll grab you another one, dear,” Esme soothed, exchanging worried glances with Rosalie and Alice before disappearing to bring me another large square of coarse, woven white fabric to vandalize.

When the lyrics of the song Alice sang along to as Esme handed Rosalie the tools she needed began to creep into my head and develop new meanings I didn’t want to hear, I abruptly sprang from the driver's seat of Rose’s convertible and ran from the garage. I wanted to unravel in peace.

I stopped when I reached the large, grey stones of the riverbank.

The forest was peaceful. It was nearly dawn; a pale, purple-grey tinted light cloaked the scenery before me, the orange and pink hues of the morning sun that should fade into the navy-black of the night sky were hidden behind a thick layer of rain clouds. The water of the river flowed sinuously by as some birds sang far in the distance. The greenery was enveloped in the fallen rain of the night, droplets of water clinging stunningly to every blade of grass, every needle of pine of the lush vegetation like crystals and diamonds. A cold mist intimately caressed the river, enveloping the landscape in a fresh haze. I could now see the vision Alice described a few hours prior come to life. Here I stood now, quietly, amongst the skyline of trees in daybreak.

I closed my eyes to the muted beauty of this morning, indifferent to the ephemerality of the moment. How many mornings had I seen like this? They were all already cemented in my infallible mind. I breathed in, the cold air whistling deliciously down my throat. On my tongue I could taste the minty, rain-kissed evergreens, the warm streams of blood pumping the tiny, fluttering heartbeats of the smallest animals, the earthy, sweet brooks leading back to the river. The wind softly stroked the sparkling spring water, and as I focused on the faint whisper of an insect’s fluttering wings, I heard the lithe, recognizable stride of my adopted mother approaching. With her came new scents and sounds – white gardenia, freshly baked bread, honey, peach blossoms, a whisper of lush silk, a hiss of air, a gentle nuzzling of fast footsteps on glossy moss.

She arrived by my side but said nothing, joining me in my silent reverie.

“You have nothing to say?” I asked after we stood there for some time, Esme watching what I assumed was the faint hint of the sun rising beyond the clouds, lifting the overcast view into lighter shades of blue-grey. I could feel the slight difference in temperature against my skin.

“Is there something you wish for me to say, sweetheart?” Esme asked gently.

I finally opened my eyes, turning to meet her topaz eyes full of love and patience.

“Not really,” I half-smiled, feeling guilty.

Her beautiful mouth widened into a smile, lighting up her heart-shaped face. She seemed to find some humor in my honesty, letting out a peal of laughter that frightened some distant creatures into silence at the unexpected sound of bells. Her caramel-colored waves of hair shook lightly with the motion.

“Oh, my Bella.” Instantaneously, I was enveloped in her warm, velvet arms. “It is absolutely valid to feel such despondency, but we must celebrate that we are not mourning the loss of another life! For that, I am very proud of you. And I’ve been so relieved that in this life you’ve never had to grieve the mistakes that even I have made...but we would never feel differently towards you if you had. Nor do we feel differently that you’re experiencing a struggle much more strenuous than before.”

She paused before continuing more fervently, “it makes you no less strong, and you will have the strength to resist...I believe that with all my heart. Please don’t feel so disappointed with yourself. You must give yourself some credit and patience and forgiveness. It pains me to see you so cheerless!”

“I’m sorry I seem so...down,” I sighed, resting my head dejectedly on her shoulder. “I guess, to be frank, it just...sucks to feel like I don’t have the super sense of self control that I thought I did. I’m beginning to feel bad for Jasper now,” I snorted bitterly.

She laughed again at my colloquial choice of words.

“Perhaps you owe him an apology. You and your brother have given him an awful lot of trouble for how he struggles,” my mother accused me teasingly, stroking my hair just as my sisters had. The comfort was nice, but I also felt irrationally remorseful to have any need for it.

“Yeah, maybe I do,” I frowned, thinking of having to put aside my pride.

She pulled away to hold me at arm’s length, cautiously studying my face.

After a moment, she pulled me against her again in another embrace.

“I will leave you alone now. It seems you would benefit from some more time by yourself to think without your sisters’ futile attempts to distract you.”

I could tell she was smiling from the way the words left her mouth. “But I won’t allow you to wallow in pity forever.”

Esme released me from the hug and reappeared four yards away from me, the expression on her perfect face stern. “So take the time you need to process how you’re feeling. But only be alone if you need to be. Don’t let yourself be lonely. That’s very important...You know where we will be.”

With that, she was gone.

I couldn’t understand why I was so inconsolable. Of course, I valued her words and the sentiment. My family’s understanding and support were wonderful to have, but I couldn’t shake the upheaval the boy’s blood had wreaked on my thoughts. It seemed to me a cruel joke, that after all these years of so naturally adjusting to this life, I now experienced the true, macabre consequences of this form. Would I have traded the ease that had accompanied me until now if it meant I’d never have experienced a magnetism as strong as the sweet scent that lingered just beneath the Masen boy’s frail skin? Would I have chosen to struggle more the entirety of my existence if it meant I’d have avoided the ferocity of that moment in my suddenly not so banal biology class? Maybe I would have.

This must be some kind of punishment from some god somewhere. Why else would I experience such effortlessness only to be met with an unendurable, unassailable call to reject everything good about my existence? I never gave much thought to religion in either of my lives. I suppose that after I’d been changed, it’d seem like a far more interesting subject because what could be the implications of an existence such as mine? Did my being a monster provide more validity to the existence of a god? If mythological evil creatures plagued the earth, then couldn’t a supernatural deity who created the universe exist as well? Or did my being a monster provide evidence that there was no god – because who could create such a despicable creature?

It had been far more evocative a topic to Carlisle who had spent much of his life after his transformation pondering these questions, but in all truthfulness, it never bothered me much. I adjusted well to this life. I understood why I was changed and didn’t long for my humanity the way some of my other family members did. Of course, I hated the risk I posed to human life, but my conscience felt clear as my record remained clean. I never endured any self loathing for what I was.

Only now did I question myself. Only now did I wrestle with the ramifications of my immortality. Only now did I feel in its entirety – I had experienced strong desires for human blood before but never like this – the true shame of lusting for the end to someone’s precious life. Only now did I truly feel like the monster I was.

I was finally recognizing the wrongness within me.

I was mistaken to feel resentful and angry with the human boy. He did not make me this way. I had always been this way. I had just been blind to the fact for all these years. I had been naive.

He was entirely innocent and deserving of the life he would live. One where his future would not be stolen in a high school biology classroom as his body emptied. One where he would graduate and go on to better schools. One where he would have a successful job in something he was interested in that provided him with purpose. One where he would meet someone smart and kind. One where he would marry, have a family, and grow old surrounded by his progeny.

I suddenly experienced a strange sensation. A feeling I hadn’t felt in years – jealousy. Though I’d never envied a human before, I envied the possibilities this boy had. I never mourned the choices that were no longer available to me. I graduated countless times. I held countless jobs. I felt fulfilled in providing to the world with our philanthropy and loving my family. In that, I found purpose. I didn’t care to have children.

But did I care to experience romantic love?

I loved romance, but I never minded that it was unattainable to me beyond the pages of a novel. I’d met other vampires, but were the odds in my favor to find a soulmate amongst such a rare kind? I didn’t think so, and I was fine with that. I was happy in my solitude. At times, I was the odd one out in my coupled-off family, but I had often felt like the odd one out in my previous life. It wasn’t a new experience, so I never cared. But in thinking of this human boy’s life, free of monsters, free of me, I came to the realization that unlike myself, he could have anyone he wanted. He was not bound by anything other than maybe his own inhibitions. He had the luxury of choice in every aspect of his life but also in love. He had simply the luxury of love itself.

Why were these thoughts coming to me now? I had so much time to ponder my existence, and suddenly this encounter had me incomprehensibly considering inessential things.

I take back my previous feelings about the boy’s innocence. He is stupid and culpable. He’s inspiring stupidity in me.

He’s very fortunate that I have a conscience. I could just as easily murder him in irritation of the havoc his existence is inflicting on my life.

I refocused my thoughts on the scenery before me, longing for the previous morning where I watched the verdant motion of the trees outside the car window after Emmett’s silly destruction of the novel I still had yet to fix. Somehow, it seemed like a long time ago.

In that memory, I eventually found a small moment of peace again.

No painted eyes could haunt me here.

And yet, I was left with a sense of uneasiness, feeling as if my life thus far had been a long exposition, and I had just encountered the inciting incident. I was feeling – though I’d been irrevocably altered once before – as if something would soon change me forever.

we all know stubborn bella wouldn’t yeet herself to alaska like edward’s dramatic ass. hope y’all enjoy hehe <3

#twilight fanfiction #twilight renaissance #twilight au #twilight saga #the twilight saga #bella swan #edward cullen #jasperwhitcock #esme cullen #alice cullen #rosalie hale #vampire #equinoxjw

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moonlightsolo · 4 years

Text

bête noire

summary: The Resistance had merely escaped Hoth just before the First Order arrived. The ships brought you to a habitable jungle moon named Ajan Kloss. It orbits a giant planet named Ajara. As the members of the Resistance creates a new life on this planet, you can’t help but think about Kylo even though he deceived you; His voice is constantly in the back of your head.

pairing: kylo ren x female reader

warnings: angst

wc: 4k

note: i’ve been blessing you guys with long chapters

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

The jolting of the ship startles you awake. Your eyes fly open as you take in your surroundings, panic settles in your chest. It disappears when you realize where you are.

You look around to see that Ellie is in Leia’s arms sleeping and Ani is awake in Poe’s arms as he directs the pilots where to land.

You slowly go to stand up, leaning against the side of the ship as it touches down so you don’t lose balance. You look out the window in the ship and all you see is green foliage surrounding everything. It reminds you of when you visited Takodana with Han Solo.

You notice the other ships around too. Poe hands Ani off to Rey as the door opens to create a ramp. He looks around with his hands on his hips, a big smile on his face.

He starts to bark out orders at the crew, telling them to take things places and move things around.

You walk up to Leia as she stands, “I can take her for you.” You smile and she hands the sleeping baby over to you. Rey hands over Ani to you too as she grabs her belongings and heads out. The droid is behind you holding all of your bags as you walk out behind her. There are people everywhere.

X-wings flew in the sky above which causes Ellie to wake up, thankfully she doesn’t cry. You look at the net connected to the ships, seeing that they’re laying the nets on the trees. You’re guessing that they are either sensors or tripwires.

When you step off the ramp, you’re on a large concrete landing pad. There is a small trail that leads to a big rock so you begin to walk in a line with some of the crew. The big rock is a limestone cave, there are people setting up the command center on the other side of a large ship that was parked underneath. You’re guessing it’s Leia’s ship, the Tantive IV. There are wires coming out everywhere.

Rey walks up to the right of the cave where there is a little ledge and begins to set up her things. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, she gets her own little spot because she’s becoming a Jedi right?

You just push your negative thoughts aside and continue exploring the new base. You’re beginning to sweat in your heavy clothes from Hoth, you walk onto the large ship. You want to find something to create new clothing out of your old things.

“Pick whatever barrack you can fit in, okay?” One of the members smiles at you as you pass her. You nod and look around as you find a small unoccupied room with a single makeshift cot. There’s a blanket laying across it too and a pillow. A small port window is on the wall that shows the wall of the cave.

“I will build cribs for the children.” The droid says, “I’ll get some stuff for them.” You smile as you lay Ellie and Ani down on the cot so you could help the droid.

You take your long sleeve top off to exchange it for a short sleeve. You grab a pair of your beige utility pants, they fit perfectly. You slip your boots back onto your feet and then into the hallway to leave the droid with the twins.

You walk back out into the head, you pull your hair into a ponytail. You walk up to Poe, he’s in the middle of ordering people around but you can’t help but notice his eyes raking over your outfit. He catches your eyes and smiles, “Hey!” He calls out and waves for you to come over.

“Isn’t this great?” He asks his as sweaty arm goes over your shoulder. You don’t mind it though, you’re sweaty too.

“It’s beautiful here.” You take a deep breath in, “And the air is fresh. It doesn’t burn your nose from being too cold.” You laugh quietly.

He laughs along with you but Finn calls his name so he has to go see what he needs first. The little bit of time you spent on the ship was just enough for them to set up almost everything in the cave. It wasn’t perfect but everything is starting to come together already.

You walk down the path back to the landing pad to see all the star-fighters parked, it amazes you. You notice Finn’s friend, Rose, is struggling to help out a few people push a package so you go up to her and help.

“Thank you. We really needed that.” She laughs and wipes the sweat on the back of her hand. She extends the same hand towards you, “I’m Rose. I don’t think we officially met before.” She smiles wide and you take her hand. You tell her your name as well, “It’s really nice to meet you.” You reply.

As the sky grows darker, the day begins to turn into night. You’ve been helping as many people out as possible. You even found two baskets that can be used as makeshift baby bassinets. You take blankets to stuff inside to make little mattresses for them.

You pile both baskets on top of each other as you make your way back towards the cave, most of the off-duty members were already on the ship getting ready to sleep. As you are about to do too.

You walk into the ship, the cold blast from the cooling system washes over your overheated skin. You can definitely feel a little bit of a burn from the sun. You open the door to see your little room was more like home. The droid had set up the cot to be more comfortable for you, there were some other scavenged things like crates that are holding clothing and other supplies. You lay the baskets on the floor next to each other so you could put the babies inside.

“Thank you for getting this room ready for us.” You gratefully thank the droid.

You kiss their little foreheads, putting a pacifier in both of their mouths. Your hands go up to the rim of the baskets to gently rock them both to side to lull them to sleep.

You gently sang them a lullaby that’s been passed down generations through your village, it was in a different language but it was almost enchanting. The lyrics hint around to the use of the Force and crystals that make light.

Ellie and Ani slowly begin to fall asleep, their little bodies are snuggled up in their new beds.

Quietly, you stand up to get ready for bed yourself. You untie your boots and put them under your cot.

You noticed that there are some new items of clothing like pairs of shorts and short-sleeved tops. You pull on some comfortable clothing and get under your covers. The cot isn’t the most comfortable thing but as soon as your head hits the pillow, you fall asleep.

Something stirs inside of you, Leia’s voice interrupts your dreams. “Come meet me outside.” She speaks to you.

You inhale sharply as you wake up, sitting up quickly to put your shoes on. The droid wakes up, “Where are you going?” She asks, “I need to go see Leia. Watch the kids for a sec.” You whisper as you sneak out of the room, the halls have people on the floor in sleeping bags so you’re tip-toeing around them.

You walk out into the night air, it’s still humid but it’s quite chilly. You see light behind a curtain, that must be Leia. You pull the curtain to the side, seeing her sitting on her bed.

“I’m glad you got my message.” Her voice is soft as she turns around to look at you. Her hand pats the empty space next to her for you to sit. You comply and plop down, her hand grabs yours to hold it.

“What happened back on Hoth?” She asks. You can tell she has an idea of what it was about but not fully aware of why you chose to turn against them.

“Kylo Ren, he’s in my mind. He told me not to get on the ship, he promised me that he wouldn’t fire on you if I would stay behind.” You look down, knowing what she’s going to ask next, “He found us because I let my guard down around him and he went through my head without me knowing.” You look at her and she has a sad smile on her face. You start to let the tears fall from your eyes, your heart wrenches.

She knows you’re in pain. “You want to be with him, I know. The bridge connecting your minds makes it more painful to be apart. I’m sorry he used you to get information. I don’t know why he chose this path for his life. I know deep down that my Ben is in there somewhere. He needs to come home.” She wraps her arms around your body as you slowly start to lay on her lap, still sobbing.

“When you’re ready. You need to start training with Rey. I’m sure it will be beneficial for you. It’ll help control his voice in your head and keep you grounded from him corrupting you.” Her hand plays with your hair, pulling it out of your face.

You nod, sniffling as you try to calm your emotions. “Thank you, Leia. I’m so sorry.” You sigh. You’re still guilty for leading the First Order to them.

“There’s no need to be sorry. Everything happens for a reason. Relocating here is going to be a new start for the Resistance.” You smile at her words, wanting to fall asleep but you know you need to go back to your children. You slowly stand up from the bed, pulling away from her for a moment. You lean forward to give her a hug, tears start to fall again so you pull back to wipe them away.

“Goodnight, Leia. Thank you, again.” You smile as you pull the curtain back to its original spot, the light turns off in her little room and you start to make your way back to your bed.

The next morning, you’re in a much better mood. The twins didn’t wake up in the middle of the night and you didn’t get woken up by them. Of course, you got up in the middle of the night to check on them to see if they’re still breathing. (And they were, of course)

You got up in the morning, fed them and had a little snuggle session with them both. You eventually get into some clothing so you could help out with getting the base more situated. You tell the droid to care for the babies until you get back.

When you open the door to your room, the hallways are busy with people coming in and out of the ship. You look at the floor to see all the sleeping bags are cleaned up. You walk outside, the sun shines bright at the entrance of the cave. It’s much cooler inside the cave thankfully. You notice that the command center is completely set up and Rey’s little ledge is too.

She’s sitting up there reading one of her Jedi books, her hairstyle is back to her original one with the three buns. You take a deep breath, looking away before she notices you staring.

A loud crash echoes in the cave, panicked beeps from BB-8 makes you turn your head. You instantly see Poe and Finn struggling with a heavy crate. You walk up to them, “You guys need help?” You give them a playful one-sided smile. They’re sweaty and out of breath. Finn goes to talk but Poe cuts him off, “No, we’re okay. Thanks though.” He huffs, his black hair rises from his breath. Finn turns towards him with his face screwed up in confusion, he obviously thinks otherwise.

You just giggle at his stubbornness, “Let me help. Where does it need to go?” You ask.

Finn looks at you and rolls his eyes at Poe, “Thank you. It needs to go to that side of the cave.” He points at the opposite end where it’s at. You raise your eyebrows and take a deep breath. “Let me see if I can do it myself.”

The two men look even more confused when you say that, they look at each other then back at you. “Seriously. Move.” You shoo them with your hands, they back up to give you space.

Your hand goes out, the crate creaks as you try to pick it up with your mind. You concentrate enough to pick it up only a few inches from the ground and slowly move it towards where it needs to go. One corner scrapes against the concrete floor here and there. Suddenly, it gets easier to carry then Rey walks around the other side of the large crate. Her hand is extended too and she smiles at you which you return.

You both use the Force to move it across the cave, people move out of the way as you both lay it down gently. Poe and Finn were following close behind, “Thanks, ladies.” Poe smirks as he cracks open the crate, one side falls off and reveals the disassembled parts to something he needs to build.

You put your hands on your hips in accomplishment, looking over to see Rey but she’s already walking away towards the exit of the cave. BB-8 beeps at you, gently pushing into your side. He wants you to follow her.

You shake your head, “No, it’s okay. Another day.” Then he beeps at you angrily now, bringing out the taser to ‘threaten’ you. “Hey, hey! Calm down, dude.” Poe yells at him from behind.

You just laugh and put your hands up in surrender as you walk towards Rey to follow her. You hang back pretty far so she doesn’t know you’re stalking her with the orange and white droid.

She takes a turn onto a different path, it’s less prominent and it leads right into the jungle. She steps over twigs and rocks as she moves quickly so you have to follow her fast.

BB-8 rolls on the twigs, they crack under his body which causes her to turn around and spot you both. “I knew it. I could feel somebody following me.” She walks up with a wide smile, “If you wanted to train with me, you could have asked.” She looks at you and motions with her head to follow you.

After a few minutes of hiking, your group comes up onto an opening in the trees. It’s big enough for a tie-fighter to land on the grass. There are rocks and plants everywhere. The sun rays come through the trees, casting bright lines through the branches and leaves.

“I found this place yesterday when we got here. It’s very peaceful and quiet.” She smiles as she plops down on the grass. You do the same. She meditates with you just like on Hoth, you don’t levitate but she does. You wonder if it’s just your change of mindset.

She turns her lightsaber on, it’s Luke’s saber she fixed a while ago. She swings it around, the noise echoes in your ears. “Do you want to try?” She asks.

The last time you yielded a saber was when you grabbed Kylo’s and she’s when they were fighting. “Yeah, I’d love to.” She turns it off and hands it to you. “Make sure you hold it right so you don’t hurt yourself. Then turn it on.”

You wrap your hand around the hilt, you click the button and the blue light rises out of the base. Your eyes look over the color, completely entranced. The sound of it as you twirl it is almost addicting. You smile wide as you move with it carefully.

You experiment and swing it like you would with your staff. You begin to get more comfortable with the blade as you spin your body around and swing it. You don’t mean to but somehow you cut right through a tree. You stumble backward and hit the button to turn it off. The tree begins to fall down, thankfully in the opposite way you guys are standing.

“It’s okay. Accidents happen.” Rey takes the saber from your hand with a laugh, “On Ahch-To, I cut right through a boulder with it.” She laughs and shrugs as she clips it back to her belt. “You’re pretty good with it. Maybe we can get you your own. Let’s go back to the base thought so nobody starts to worry.”

As you’re walking back, you hear a little voice in the back of your head. It’s almost like it’s muffled, you can barely hear it. You don’t mean to stop in your tracks but you zone out as you focus on it.

The voice gets clearer as you listen intently. It’s Kylo.

Anger rushes through your veins. Rey can feel your sudden shift in mood and turns around.

“I want you to be with me. Become my apprentice again, don’t let her train you. She is unsuitable to be your teacher.”

You try to ignore him but it’s almost impossible, “You used me! I don’t understand. I don’t want you to teach me your ways! Leave me alone!” You scream out loud, your hands go over your ears. It sounds like he’s screaming into both of your ears. You feed off of his anger and fall to the ground, the earth around you shakes from the power coursing through your veins. It shoves Rey, she stumbles backward and trips on some rocks.

“You could be so much more powerful if you come back to me. I can feel the anger coming from you. Feed off of it. Escape. Come back to me.”

She instantly stands up and brushes off her pants as she runs towards you, “Don’t let him do this to you! He’s like Snoke. You can’t let him corrupt your mind.” Her hand touches your back and you jolt away in fear. You come back to your senses as you lay back on the dirt and pebbles. You stare up at the sky as you breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Kylo isn’t like Snoke. He’s not. You can’t let her think that way of him. He just wants the best for you... Right?

You slowly sit up from the ground and look at Rey, “He’s not like Snoke. If he was, he would’ve told me to murder every single one of you but he didn’t.” You snap as you stand up. “I understand you’re trying to help but I can’t do this. I thought meditating would have helped but it just made it worse.” You storm past her to make your way towards the base.

Over the past couple of days, Kylo tries to reach out to you again. It’s not as powerful as last time but he’s still in the back of your mind. It’s making you crazy.

You spend most of your time in your room with your children and the droid. You’ve named her Mary since her model number begins with MRY. You only leave to take a shower and get food.

Leia starts to get worried for you since you’re pulling yourself away from everybody. She visits you quite a few times since she loves to see her grandchildren.

You don’t want to be with the Resistance or the First Order. You just want to live a peaceful life, it makes you sad that your children may not be able to grow up in a peaceful atmosphere.

Kylo doesn’t leave you alone. You try so hard but his voice echoes in your mind. It’s like you’re ignoring him but still listening at the same time.

You’re sleeping when he visits you through your Force connection. Kylo stands over top of you, his hand goes out to shove your shoulder with the Force. He wakes you up from a deep sleep and that’s when your ticking time bomb blows up.

“Are you kidding me?!” You whisper yell at him. Your eyes shoot open, catching his wide eyes with yours. “You’ve been keeping me up every single night with your stupid voice in the back of my head and now you have the audacity to show yourself?” He’s taken aback by your attitude towards him, “You used me, Kylo. There’s no way to deny that. I’m upset, disappointed and embarrassed. I get it. You want me to be with you again but I’m being pulled both ways! I love you so much but I love our children so much too. I want them to have a chance at a peaceful life! Like how I used to have on Jakku.”

You rub your temples with your fingertips, “I never met your other side, Kylo. But for some odd reason, I want a part of him to come back so you come to your senses and be with your children and me.” You groan in annoyance, closing your eyes tightly. When you open them, he’s still standing there looking down at you.

“You’ve never met Ben Solo. You wouldn’t like him. He’s too soft.” He bites back, “I know you’re being torn between me and the Resistance. You can’t have both. Just choose one.” He breathes out softly, his hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. You sit up in your cot, leaning back against the metal wall. The droid is powered down in the corner, your babies still fast asleep.

“I can’t just choose one. It’s too hard.” You put your face in your hands. He bends down to take them away from your face, looking into your eyes. When he touches your skin, little tingles are felt where his fingertips are.

“I understand. I went through it myself.” He looks down, “I didn’t want to use you to retrieve information. It wasn’t my intention to upset you.” That’s as close as you’re possibly gonna get to a sorry from him.

“Yeah, well it did hurt me.” You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest as you look from him as well. He starts to lean forward, trying to catch your lips with his. You let him kiss you but you pull away after a moment.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know if I can trust you yet.” You breathe out, your eyes looking down at his lips and back up to his eyes.

He’s staring at you angrily, he’s frustrated from your words. “You don’t trust me?” He questions as he stands up quickly from his spot.

You don’t say anything as the connection falls through and he disappears. You fall to the side against your pillow, digging your face into the fabric as you groan.

Maybe you shouldn’t have said that to him. Although, you were afraid he was going to try to go through your mind again. You have to protect the Resistance

.@officiallpeterparker @funnysadshit @ymariejp @attorneyl @fangirl570 @trinityrud20 @kylos-sassy-cousin @delicatelyherdreams @fizzywoohoo @savvy7392 @angelias134 @that-girl-named-alex @cas-backwards-tie @glimmering-darling-dolly @glitterypinkkitty @blxkstar @his-snow-white-queen @elsasshole @smiithys @nanocoool @deathbyarabbit @alex-skr @theholycakehole @averillian @crazynocturnalkiki @arcanebabe @tinydancer40 @superduckypower @thomasscresswell @butterfly-writes @thatintrovertedbisexual @fangirlanotherjust @somekindofroger @nicci442 @little-girl-who-dream-too-much @wildest-dream- @silverlambcaptain @cliffordmess @xkylorxn @lowkeyofsassguard @nickangel13 @carol-twinklefists-danvers @oopsiedoopsie23 @fandomshit6000 @baba-eina @cosmichellfire (for some reason it won’t let me tag a few of you i’m sorry)

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atemgirl94 · 3 years

Text

Pharaoh and Reincarnated Queen’s adventures pt. 5

What part of the Queen's soul that was sealed in her bracelet was in charge while the Pharaoh was in charge of Yugi's body.

"How dare you take my other soul!" Brittania said

The Pharaoh looked at her seeing she was like him but her words of the other Britt being her other soul. He could see it wasn't an act like his was for Yugi's soul. He looked at Bakura.

"Why have you brought us here Bakura? I'll duel you to get my friends free." Yami said to him

"Fine, but your friend's very souls are at stake here." Yami Bakura reminded him

As the duel started it seemed simple, only when Tristan's soul card was played was the real danger realized. For if a soul card was played and sent to the grave yard that person was lost forever it seemed.

'No, so if their soul cards get sent to the graveyard it could mean the end.' He thought

Brittania was watching from beside the Pharaoh not like she could really get in the game since only one could play this shadow game. As he kept playing he noticed that sometimes he was lucky but then he looked over at the girl beside him.

'if I lose her hosts soul card, she may die.' He thought

Brittania saw him looking at her "Keep your head in the game." She said to him

He nod as he concentrated on the duel infront of him, many turns went by before he had almost everyones soul card on the field. Everyones..except hers.

'how far in the deck did the Goddess of the Nile go?' he wondered as he was thinking about it. He had most of his friends on the field and she was last.

"Well seems you have your friends out but your girlfriend's soul hasn't been found in the deck." Yami Bakura said

Brittania shot him a glare as they were in the midst of all this. How could she expect anything else she wasn't the one dueling but she watched as he continued the duel seeing where it would go. It wasn't long before he got the card that held the other Britt's soul.

'here it is!' He thought but he knew it required one sacrifice. Luckily on the empty spot of the field he'd set a monster there till he got her card.

"Seems you got your girlfriend's card from the look of it." Yami Bakura said to him.

Yami didn't say a thing as he made his next move. "I sacrifice a monster to bring forth the Goddess of the Nile!" Yami said

The gang all watched as the card was placed down and Britt joined them on the field. She put a hand on her head.

"Wow, what a rush." She said before looking around seeing she was on a dueling filed.

"W-What's going on?!" She yelled before looking over seeing Yugi as Dark Magician. "Y-Yugi? But if you are here then who is..."

Britt looked up seeing there was two Yugi's and two of her.

"There's two of us?!" Britt asked

"Calm down Britt." Yami said but the Britt on the field blushed at the other Yugi. She'd seen him before she was certain of that but she couldn't place where she had seen him before.

Brittania was a bit annoyed "Calm down so you can win this." She told her younger self getting her attention. "You and I are the same person. If you die then so do I so don't die." Brittania said

'Die?!' She thought then realized that they were dressed as their favorite cards.

Yami continued to finish his turn "Alright, put your trust in me. Goddess of the Nile, Attack!" He said as Britt knew her own goddess's attack. "Nile Septar blast!" both Britt's said as she finished the duel.

"NO!!!" Yami Bakura yelled as he closed his eyes

It was later when everyones soul was returned that everything seemed normal. Yami turned to Brittania looking at her.

"Who are you?" Yami asked

"As I said, I am the same as her. But to answer your question, Queen. When she fully remembers I become part of her." She said before letting Britt take over.

'Queen?' Yami thought as Yugi took over.

Everyone was waking up from the way things had been it seemed as if it was some crazy dream. They all got up and walked out of the forest.

"Wow that was crazy, good thing Hathor wasn't here." Britt said

"Speaking of Hathor, where is she?" Yugi asked

"I don't know maybe she.." before she could finish Hathor was standing there infront of them.

"I'm right here, you all seem to of had a bad thing." She said to them.

Britt linked her arm with Hathor "come on, we got a tournament to finish." Britt said to her cousin.

Hathor was smiling and laughing with Britt, but Britt felt staring on her. She would look around but never see anything.

'My Queen.' She heard that voice, it sent shivers through her and she knew it was him.

Hathor snapped her fingers but was taking glances at Yugi with a smile. She'd developed quite the crush on Yugi and couldn't deny that. Britt looked at her wondering what was going through her mind.

"Stay focused, don't let your dreams take control." Hathor said

The group made it eventually to the finals, sitting at a table was Mai, Hathor, Britt, Yugi, Joey, Bandit Keith, Tristan and Tea.

As they were sitting Britt was thinking about the whole thing back with the shadow game. She knew there was a lot going on around then. She knew she blushed at the moment she'd seen him and something about him was familiar to her but she shook it off.

'Focus, finals. Whose going to be my opponent?' She thought

Just around that time bowls of soup was put infront of them and then before they knew it some of the soups had hand crafted Millennium eyes stick out. Britt and Hathor freaked a bit since they didn't expect it. Each of them opened the eye that received one which had a number inside of it.

Mai had the number 1, Yugi had the number 2, Joey and Bandit Keith had the numbers 3 and 4 but Britt and Hathor were shocked because they had the numbers 5 and 6.

Croquet came out and introduced himself. "My name is Croquet and some of you were given numbers. Above is a screen telling you who your opponent will be and then how it will go from there." Croquet said

Britt and the others looked up seeing who they were dueling. Yugi vs Mai, Joey vs Bandit Keither, Britt vs Hathor and then it shown a three way duel that

When it came to the duels Britt watched the one between Yugi and Mai, at first it seemed as if Mai would win and she wondered what had happened knowing that she'd parted ways to go with Hathor towards the end. Though Yugi came out victourius.

Britt hadn't stayed around much for Joey's but she did catch the end to see Joey's duel, Now it was Britt and her cousin.

When each of them were there standing, Britt was hesitant.

"You ready?" Hathor asked

"Your my cousin, I can't exactly say no." Britt said

"Then consider this our rematch." Hathor answered

As the duel began it looked as if it could go either way knowing that the way things were it wasn't going to do much.

Water types vs Fire types didn't seem like it was no brainer.

"Eh, Yugi. Hathor is a fire type duelist so doesn't that mean she'd win against Britt?" Joey asked

"Not necessarily. Britt became champ back in her home town for a reason." He said

Continuing to watch it was Nile Goddess vs Fire Dragon and it didn't seem either was giving up but when Britt smiled.

"I activate Nile Crystal! As long as I have the Goddess of the Nile or one of her pets on the field then I can summon this." She said pulling a card from her hand.

"Nile Pet Dragon! Now Combine powers and attack her fire dragon." She said finishing her duel.

After that it was a three way duel that could go either way. Yugi vs Joey vs Britt so that was one everyone wanted to see. Britt and Yugi were enough to challenge each other that Joey didn't have much but it was a good duel when it came down to it. First Joey lost but then it came down to the biggest fight. Britt looked at him knowing about the whole thing knowing she was going against her Pharaoh.

'sorry but I'm not backing down." She thought

When it came down to final rounds to figure out how would win Yugi or Britt, Yugi came out victorious finding a chance to eliminate her so he would go against Pegasus.

Everyone gathered above on the balcany as Yugi's duel with Pegasus was about to start. Britt was getting a bad feeling about Pegasus and she seen him look at her.

'what does he want? Clearly he didn't invite me just to watch me lose to Yugi?' She thought

Looking down at Yugi, she knew he could win somehow but she was aware that he was aided by the Pharaoh.

When the duel started off normal minus Pegasus reading Yami's every move, it seemed almost hopeless for Yami to win. Britt was panicking a bit because her other side was getting her all worried that he would be lost, suddenly there was a dark mist going around them to the point no one could see them.

Seeing this all of them ran down there and tried to get through to get to Yugi. Britt and Hathor made it in and Britt gasped a bit holding her neck feeling like she couldn't breathe. Hathor had a hold of her around this time.

"Britt, what is this?" Hathor asked

"Sh-Shadow Game." Britt answered

Pegasus saw them not far away "well well looks like we have a couple guests." He said

Yami looked back at them "but how?" He said

Yami noticed two items glowing on the girls, one was Britt's bracelet and the other was around Hathor's ankle. He made a motion and Hathor brough Britt forward as they kneeled down to watch Hathor was trying to breathe now having problems.

Britt fought to stay awake during the duel with Hathor as they were having a big time having a difficult to control as they watched how Yugi and Yami would switch back and forth during a turn to keep Pegasus from knowing their card. To Britt that was a neat trick that she figured her and her other side could use sometime.

"Looks like they're gonna win." Hathor said

Just as she said this Yugi fell forward leaving Yami alone not knowing what card he placed down but had to have faith..

Pegasus looked at the two girls still seeing their items glow. "So the rumors are true, the reincarnated Queen and her princess cousin in my tournament." Pegasus said

"You'll...lose." Britt said to him

As the two were watching they seen Yami take Pegasus down and by the time the shadows cleared and everyone could see them again. Britt had fallen unconscious so Yami picked her up. Hathor didn't like it as she stood up seeing the Pharaoh holding her cousin.

They went searching later to find where Pegasus may have been keeping Mr. Motou's soul. It was a hard run and at first it seemed as if they were figuring out their next move. Tristan and Bakura were in the midst of getting a grappling hook connected to a string once it was connected they looked between the group.

"Tea you go first." Tristan said

"You are crazy!" She said making a motion with her skirt because she had a short skirt that if the wrong way they could see up her skirt.

"I'll do it." Yami said, he adjusted Britt with Hathor's help so her legs were wrapped around his waist and he was able to climb up with her on his back. Hathor went behind so if Britt fell she coud help and behind her was Tea with a blindfold Tristan Joey and Bakura.

When they'd gotten in they found a room and a book. Tea grabbed it and read it as they were looking around it told of Pegasus adventure to Egypt.

As they came across the cards seeing they were empty it was clear that the souls had been released. Now they were heading out to get out of the room. Britt by this time had woken up and was standing on her feet.

"Hm, what hit me?" She asked

"Long story" Yami said

Yami let Yugi take over as they were heading down stairs to leave but then suddenly a man appeared. Britt recognized this man as she'd seen him before.

"You...You're the one who..said.." Britt started but he wasn't looking at her but more looking at Yugi who held the puzzle.

He walked towards them as he put his key out and went into Yugi's mind. Britt who was standing there accidentally got sent in with Shadi. She'd landed in the Pharaoh's room and looked around.

"Well, this must be destiny then." He said to her

She looked at him "Define destiny?" She asked

He chuckled pulling her to him as he leaned in close to her "You, Queen. You are linked to my past." He said to her

He was going to lean in to kiss her and she freaked out not knowing what to do before the door to his room came up. Pulling apart they looked seeing Shadi standing there.

"The girl, Reincarnated Queen of she who lived with a great pharaoh. She showed up here." Shadi said

"Who are you? What do you seek? I will allow no harm to come to the vessel I share with the boy." Yami said

Shadi explained that a Millennium item was stolen and he only wished for the truth.

"innocent until proven guilty. A common way for this." He said before taking Britt's hand in his.

"Allow me passage through your mind. I only wish to seek the truth." Shadi said

Yami snapped his fingers revealing the passage that was there. "Search to your heats content." He said as he disappeared with her.

When they arrived, Yami put her in a chair as he looked at her. She looked up clearly clueless about what was going on and what he may of wanted with her.

"I don't know if I believe all of this reincarnation thing." Britt admitted

"Maybe, Maybe not. You will come to terms with it sometime." Yami said to her

Britt wasn't so sure she would ever come to terms with something like this but she knew someway somehow she had to because of her other side.

'Brittania, she's not in here but I am.' She thought

Yami talked with her to get through what was going on but then Shadi came in. He was walking towards them when the ground started to cave in. Britt got up and she helped him with Yami before he fell in the hole. Yugi showed up as Britt watched Yugi and Shadi walk through a door.

"secrets, the puzzle holds secrets like the bracelet." Britt said

"The puzzle and the bracelet are linked." Yami said

Britt gasped at his words before she was sent out. It wasn't much longer before that the whole gang went home to Domino City.

#Yu-Gi-Oh #yami yugi x oc #yugioh #ygo #ygo ocs #Adventure #reincarnated queen #pharaoh atem #fanfic

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marlinspirkhall · 3 years

Text

Tomorrow Never Comes, Chapter 05: “Resolution”

CW: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Chapter Word Count: 2,298 words

[Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6]

“Tell me everything you learned when my memory kept getting wiped,” Jim says.

“There is not much to tell. Leland and I attempted everything you and I have-” seeing Jim’s face, he pauses. “It was not a waste of time. Failure on the first attempt does not preclude the possibility of success on the second”

The news that he was murdered multiple times hasn’t sparked any grand realisation as of yet. Mostly, it’s just made him angry, but he tries not to show it. Despite the recent realisation that their dilithium crystals have begun to drain, noticeably- confirming that they will run out, eventually- they sit side by side in a tense silence as the shuttle whizzes through space. Jim taps his fingers on his side of the dashboard, and turns to Spock.

“Stop here; I want to try something.”

They land on the same planet as their first outing; but on a different beach, with actual sand.

“For variety’s sake,” Jim says, with a slight smile.

“Variety,” Spock says, dryly, as they approach the shoreline. “I must admit; I thought you brought me here to kill me.”

“You- what?!” Jim wheels on him. “And you just- got in the shuttle?”

Spock tilts his head. “At the time, the reaction did not seem disproportionate.”

“Right.” Jim sits down on the sand, and looks up at him. “And now that you’re about to be- ah- executed?” He squints as he leans back, temporarily blinded by the iridescent sand.

Spock says nothing, and sits on the sand, a short distance from him. A strong breeze picks at strands of his hair, and Jim sighs.

After a moment, the sun begins to descend, and Jim looks up. “This is what I like about space travel. Even the sunset isn’t a fixed phenomenon. Theoretically- if you wanted to- you could manipulate it. Park your spaceship in a different position on the planet’s surface, so you could view it as many times as you liked. It’s not always spontaneous. But, if you’re really lucky, you get to experience this, with someone you-” he stops.

“What?” Spock asks, quietly.

“Care about,” Jim finishes, softly. He clears his throat. “I mean, how many other people do you think have got to witness this exact view?”

Spock considers for a moment. “The Klingons,” he says, firmly.

Jim laughs. “Spock, I-”

A twinkle catches his eye.

The purple sunset dissolves into the vast tapestry of night, and, as the sand twinkles out, the sky itself becomes a glittering canvas. At the last moment, Jim turns to him, as the last embers of sunlight illuminate his hair.

“So, what do you want to do?” Jim whispers. “Do you want to chase the sunset? Have another go?”

Spock rests his head against his shoulder, and almost smiles.

As the days pass- or, don’t pass- they continue their attempts to escape. Sometimes, it looks like they might be getting somewhere- as far as they can while still avoiding Klingon space- but, at some point every morning, no matter how far they go, the clock resets. Heirin pulls them backwards like an elastic band, and they wake up back on the planet.

“How far did we make it this time?”

“Five point nine light years further than our last attempt.”

Jim grits his teeth. “Then we should try going in that direction. Maybe we’re onto something.”

For the most part, the Iclixi have remained neutral in the Klingon-Romulan-Federation conflict, and, as a result, not much is known about them. Still, one thing is clear: they don’t like visitors.

“So, that’s why Leland asked me about base ten,” Jim says, breathless, as an asteroid explodes behind them. Escaping death has lost its excitement in some ways, but fleeing missiles- that’s fairly new.

Spock nods stiffly, his eyes locked on the controls, and Jim begins to use his own console to hack into the Iclixian database.

“Base six,” Jim murmurs, as he surveys the structure of the numbers on his console. “If it’s true that that these guys have four arms, then they must only have two digits on each hand.”

Spock runs a hand through his hair. “Jim-”

“I know.” Jim begins entering numbers frantically, and looks up. “What happened the first time you were here-?” The shuttle veers to the left.

Spock’s eyes dart to him, then back to the viewscreen.

“- Right.” Jim types faster. “Well, if I’m right, this should make us blind to their sensors.” And, if he’s wrong, they’ll find themselves back on Heirin.

With no memory of this.

He slams a button down at the same moment Spock pulls the shuttle into a nosedive. Outside the back window, the two missiles continue on a straight path, directly ahead. Jim waits with baited breath, but no more missiles are deployed.

He collapses back in his chair with an exhausted whoop.

They make their way through the rest of the Iclixi system without further disturbance, and Jim’s eyelids begin to droop.

“How long have we been awake?” He yawns.

“Twenty seven hours and… thirteen minutes,” Spock replies.

Jim pats him on the shoulder. “Are you sure you don’t want to sleep first?”

“Negative. Vulcans-”

“Require less sleep than humans, I know.” Jim rises, and curls up at the back of the shuttle, with a tired smile. This time, he thinks, as he drifts off, we might actually make it.

Jim rolls over, and snuggles into something soft. He feels well-rested.

Which only means one thing.

His eyes snap open, and he sits bolt upright. “Spock.”

He rushes to the main bedroom, and throws the door open. The room is much more orderly than it was before. Spock opens his eyes, and sits up suddenly,

“Jim?” He reaches for him, frowning. “I did not fall asleep-”

“I know,” Jim murmurs, “But what happened? What’s the last thing you remember?” He takes hold of Spock’s hands, and kneels on the edge of the bed, checking him over- although, of course; there isn’t a scratch on him.

“I… blinked,” Spock realises.

Jim slumps.

They can’t take shifts blinking.

As they begin to search for alternate routes through Klingon space, Jim finds something which he’d previously overlooked.

Boreth.

‘There’s a planet in the Klingon empire called ‘Boreth’ which is the only place in the known universe to contain a mineral known as ‘poH qut’. Translated to Standard, it means ‘time crystal’.’ Jim had never heard of them before, but the more he reads, the more familiar it sounds. For the most part, research on them is scarce, but there are isolated reports- mostly anecdotal- of users becoming trapped in time loops, triggered either intentionally or accidentally. In both instances, though, the loop is triggered by the spilling of innocent blood.

Jim cross-references it with any references to poH qut in the Klingon databases, only to come up short: the Klingons abandoned all experiments with time crystals centuries ago, and the ones which remain on Boreth are closely guarded by an order of monks. There is something, though. Rumours that one of the experiments resulted in a time crystal being hidden at the very core of a planet, before

“...But, even if there is a time crystal at the heart of this planet, that doesn’t help us,” Jim muses. “We don’t have the equipment to locate it or dig it up.”

Spock raises an eyebrow, and says nothing.

Jim claps him on the shoulder. “We’ll find a way out.”

Jim’s desperation only increases as things begin to break around the stronghold. For the moment, it’s mostly small, minor electrical errors- a wire needs reattaching on an upper wall, one of the consoles in the server room stops working, but there are plenty of backups- for now.

They run into problems whenever something needs replacing. They salvage a couple of items from the basement, but the only replacement bulb they can find for the downstairs bathroom emits a bright, irradiated green. Spock begins to exclusively use the upstairs bathroom, explaining that such unrelenting green is every bit as unpalatable to Vulcan retinas as red would be to humans.

Seeing as the shuttle has never been blown up before, the possibility limits the risks they can take, and the experiment is understandably one which they are reluctant to proceed with. If the shuttle doesn’t regenerate, they’ll be even more stuck than before, without a means of escape. Just as Lewis McAllister should have been. The report implies that McAllister simply omitted the miraculous tale of how his dead crew and ship were resurrected each morning before his miraculous escape… But, given the state that the shuttle and the stronghold are currently in, he doubts that was the case. He sighs, and goes over the information that they have once again, from day one to now.

“I suspect,” Spock says, quietly, “The only reason Leland would have needed to learn the hacking procedure himself was if he was planning to kill me.”

Jim holds his hand out, and, tentatively, Spock takes it.

“Alright, new plan,” Jim says, as he steps out of the forest, his shirt spattered with blood. “We do what we came here to do.”

Spock blinks at him, possibly confused by the blood stains.

“I mean: I take the outpost down, then we travel out to meet whoever Section-31 is sending. I mean, what have we got to lose? If we get it wrong, won’t we just wake back up here again?”

“With no memory of this,” Spock points out.

Jim sighs. “I’ve thought of that. And- has it ever occurred to you that we

Spock shakes his head. “The first day I remember, the stronghold was as it was the day before. And, we can tell

“If we can work out some sort of back-up-plan, a way to send a message to ourselves in case our memories get erased again…” Jim glances at the shuttle, and heads towards the server room.

As they fly through space, Jim turns to Spock with a nervous smile.

“So. Who’s coming to meet us?”

A shadow flickers across Spock’s face. “Agent Georgiou.”

“Georgiou?” Jim frowns. “Phillipa Georgiou? Wasn’t she a Starfleet Captain? I thought she was killed in the battle at the binary stars?”

Spock’s eyes flash. “She is not who she appears to be,” he says. “Whatever you think; you cannot trust her.” As usual, his expression is unreadable.

The shuttle bleeps, as an unseen ship hails them. It pulls into view up ahead

There’s a strange, unfamiliar weapon on the top of the ship, jutting out at the font. It’s twice as long as the hull of the shuttle, and looks as if it’s been compacted down. The front of it is coiled, like some sort of drill-bit. Before Jim can question it further, Spock answers the hail- audio only.

“Agent Georgiou,” he murmurs.

“Spock. I almost shot you out of the sky,” the voice purrs. “You’re early. A day early.”

Spock straightens. “And yet, our mission is complete.”

“Hm.” There’s a bleep as she, presumably, verifies that claim. “You work fast.”

Spock exchanges a look with Jim. “Indeed.”

There’s a pause.

“Where’s Leland?” Her voice acquires a dangerous edge.

“He is- on board.”

“Hm. Unconscious, presumably; otherwise he would have answered me himself.”

“We had a- trying day,” Spock says, haltingly.

Jim’s heart hammers in his chest, and he squeezes Spock’s shoulder.

“Scan us,” Spock says.

“Oh, I did. There are two life-signs on your ship. One human, one half-Vulcan. I have no guarantee that Leland is one of them.”

There’s a pause.

“Unless you turn on your vidscreen, of course.”

“It was damaged in our escape with The Klingons.”

“How convenient. I assume Leland was injured, as well?”

“Yes.”

There’s a beat.

“How do I know that the boy isn’t on board with you?”

“Because we stuck to the plan,” Spock says.

Jim breathes shallowly, and twists his hands together in his lap.

Georgiou’s laugh is distorted. “Plans change. Still, I do not intend to deviate from mine. I was only instructed to meet you and Leland.”

“You were never fond of Leland.”

“That’s true. In many ways, you’ve done me a favour.”

“Spock-” Jim whispers, as the computer readout flashes up red.

“You can do me another favour.”

“She’s locked on weapons-”

The proximity alert bleeps. Spock’s hands find the controls the same time Jim’s do, and they slam the ship into a wild dive. A second later, something glances off the side of the ship, and they’re thrown sideways. Spock cries out. Jim crashes head first into the wall, and his vision goes double.

“Spock…” Jim says, as his eyes flutter shut.

The hum of an engine. Jim’s head throbs.

He sits up with a groan. The shuttle is adrift, and Spock is slouched over the controls, clutching his side and breathing heavily.

“Spock-”

He crawls over to him, and pulls himself into the seat next to him. He touches Spock’s shoulder, and his eyelids flutter. He groans.

“Come on, Spock.” He pulls Spock’s hand away, and it’s green with blood. Cursing, he pulls his jacket off, and winds it round his torso, but it soaks through quickly. Jim’s eyes widen.

If he remembers correctly, Vulcan hearts are further down than humans’.

Heart pounding, he runs to the back of the shuttle, and tears the medkit open. Though the bandages and the dermal regenerator have long since been depleted, he knows that he’s seen-

A hypospray. He grabs it. With one last glance back at Spock, he fills it with a cartridge of anaesthetic. Enough to knock himself out, he hopes. He takes a deep breath. He sits down heavily, places it against his neck, and discharges it with a hiss.

[Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6]

#tomorrow never comes #star trek fic #star trek discovery fic #star trek aos fic #spirk fic

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pervasivescariness · 4 years

Text

[ A Gathering of Threads]

Part Four: Scars and Regret

( @ivaan-ffxiv )

No sooner than she had sprung upon him, Ivaan's knees finally gave from under him. Metal scraped against stone as the two of them were taken to the ground. Plated arms wrapped about her tightly, not daring to let go, having to know she was there, solid, real. Not some phantasm brought about by whatever item was held in the deeper reaches of this cave... He would not put it past fate to be so cruel. But she did not vanish, or pass through him. She was there in his arms, tears splashing against his armor. Ivaan's armored head buried into the crook of her neck, his whole form rattling as he spoke.

"H-How are... Oh, Bee..." Behind his metallic mask, tears of his own flowed freely, dampening the fabric lining the interior of the helm.

Bee clung to his armored form as tightly as she could, pressing her face to that cold metal without a care, tears flowing freely onto the metal surface. A few twists of hair were caught across her face, tangled up in the hug as she squeezed him tightly. She didn't dare readjust or pull away to move her hair from her face, afraid that if she moved even slightly, he'd simply disappear. Her heart was a raging sea of emotion; the swell of elation crashing into the waves of old despair that had been trudged up anew, everything flooding her at once, stealing her words from her. She could get no more than his name from her lips as she held him, body trembling as she wept in his arms. All these years spent thinking she had lost him for good, imagining life as it could have been had he lived...and here he was now. It was some time before the words returned to her, Bee content enough to just hold Ivaan tightly until her tears began to dry.

When at last she could string together a coherent thought, she spoke, her voice quiet and muffled from where she pressed her face to him, still unwilling to move, "They told me you had died, Ivaan..."

Ivaan squeezed her tighter at her trembling, which shook them both. Her words summoned an odd sense of dread in the youth, perhaps knowing this was just the start of a very long, uncomfortable line of questioning. Entirely justified, of course, but a road he was not prepared to travel down so unexpectedly.

"I very nearly did." Twice... But that would come later. "I imagine the letter you received was penned not long after my parents... after the sickness took them. I was on death's doorstep. They probably thought that I would be long gone by the time the letter reached you all..." He sniffed loudly within his helm, gathering himself, when a sudden thought leapt from him. "What about your mother, your father? Your sisters, are they still alive too?!"

The first pang of anger prickled through Bee at this. How dare they send out a letter like that until they knew for sure? Such an errant action had caused so much distress in not only her but her parents and aunt as well. She remembered the gloom which hung over the house, the deep hurt that wracked her body for weeks thereafter; the tears which stole her voice entirely...All those years spent thinking he was lost to them. The soft fingers of guilt brushed her then; if she had known he were alive, she could have come for him...could have brought him home with her. These emotions began swirling around in her chest as well as her mind began to ask other questions. That prickle of anger became sharper...and was immediately halted by his questions.

She drew in a slow breath, trying to calm her heart and regain some composure, turning her face ever so slightly so that she might speak easier, "They're all fine, they're fine. Mother, Father, Ada and Nihme both..." But not Aunt Zovi... she thought suddenly, a sharp stab of guilt adding to her burdened heart. She chased it away with a happier thought, "...and there's now Pari and Meru too...oh Ivaan it's been nearly a decade! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about your parents-"

Bee paused, frowning slightly, her mind returning to her previous train of questions. Quite suddenly she pushed away from him, a furious slant to her brow as she held him at arm's length, staring into that faceless helm of his, the heat of anger beginning to boil through her chest. "How come you never told us you were alive?" she demanded of him, ears flat to her head now, a few wayward curls still pulled across her face haphazardly.

Even through the plates that encased him, Ivaan's relief was readily felt as the tension in his spine eased out with a sigh. Good, good... Bee had been spared the heartbreak he had endured twice over. It also explained why they never came for him, as he spent the years in the orphanage, waiting to grow up. His relief was interrupted as she pushed him away, Bee biting into every syllable of her words. Just like she always had when she got mad... It really was her... The question could not be ignored, however, even though he suddenly felt a wave of dread, and guilt, crush over him.

"I..." He looked away, unable to bear her accusing, hurt gaze. "The first couple of years, I could not bring myself to do much of anything... I ate, I did my chores, sat outside with the other kids, and slept. I was in shock." He shook his head, lowering it as he continued. His eyes closed behind the sightless visor, an attempt to shield himself from her gaze, that he might focus enough to gather these most unpleasant of thoughts. "I could not accept what happened. Not for a long time... A year, at least. With time, and help, I started to work through it. Gain some sort of grip on it all. That was when I had written, from the orphanage. But each time, the letters returned to me... With things getting as dangerous as they were, the mail was not able to get through. So I bided my time... Waiting to get big enough to leave, to find you. But things got worse, and worse... Eventually, the older kids that I had grown close to... My second family, in truth... They had decided to join the Wood Wailers upon coming of age. They were all I had left. We were all each other had left. So I faked my age, and joined with them, so we could stay together. We would protect our forest, and each other, make things better... Then things would go back to normal. I could write to you whenever I wanted, let you all know how I was doing, how much I had grown up."

Slowly, his head raised, turning to meet her gaze once more. "Then the Calamity came. The things I heard through the grapevine from traveling adventurers from abroad were bad enough. Sahagin acting up, the Imperials shooting down civilian airships, building bases in La Noscea... I had been worried enough for you all. But after Dalamud dropped... I was positive you were all dead. You had to be. They say Bahamut flew right over Limsa Lominsa. I saw the corrupted crystal formations scattered across the region with my own eyes. I did not dare seek out your village. I was terrified of what I might find if I did." By then, his body had begun to shake anew in her hands as she held him by the shoulders at arms length. "I-I am so sorry, Bee..."

As she listened to him, that fury upon her brow began to soften, the line of anger becoming one of concern. Her fingers clutched his shoulders as she kept him from her at arm's length, body rigid as she took in this new information. Hearing it all, that self righteous anger she had felt bubbling in her heart soon faded, the raging sea calming with the heavy waves of guilt for her silent accusations. It wasn't that he didn't care, that he didn't wish to see them again. Fate had kept them well apart, it seemed, through tragedy and circumstance...If he were to blame, then so too was she. What had become of her plans before Dalamud had come down? That final farewell she had told herself she had to put aside until her work was done...but that was just an excuse, wasn't it? The fact that she feared an absolute end had kept her away. Just as he had not been able to face their potential loss, she had not been able to face the finality in his death. Because there was some part of her, some quiet little hope, that maybe they had been wrong.

She had been unconsciously following a thread through a deep, dark ocean ever since.

At last she bowed her head, closing her eyes as fresh tears began to slip down her cheek. Her fingers relaxed upon his shoulder, no longer gripping him tightly as the curls slipped from where they had caught on her nose to dangle in front of her face. "No...Ivaan. I'm sorry too. Anyone would have thought the same." She frowned again slightly, her mind drifting back to that frightful night, "We couldn't have left, even if we had known you were alive...The village needed them, my parents...my aunt...me, to an extent. All hands on deck, as my father says."

The tiniest of smirks pulled at the corner of her lip as she thought of her father's tendency to speak as a sailor first in all things, "We all played our part to keep everything intact and...to an extent we succeeded, Ivaan. A good portion of the village was in ruins but most everyone...most everyone was alright." She sniffled, giving a bit of a teary laugh which sounded far more bitter than joyous. "I...I could have gone then. Once things were quiet...I could have gone and maybe we might've-"

Bee stopped, at last looking up at him, staring into that featureless helm once more, her thoughts pulled elsewhere. Through all of this he had not once made to remove that eyeless thing, confessing this all from behind a mask as though he were hiding from her. There was a peculiar sort of distance created by it, as though she were merely speaking with a suit of armor. It made her feel strange, gave the whole thing a dreamlike feel and she had to know she wasn't dreaming. Even though she was touching him, there was that biting doubt at the back of her mind. What if this was a cruel trick? She tilted her head slightly, blinking through the few tears which still clouded her eyes.

"Ivaan." she sighed, "Can you take that off? Please. I can' t keep talking to a helmet." Bee looked at him earnestly, pleadingly, "I want to see my friend."

Any feelings of relief that came with the quenching of her fury, of her assurances that the village was largely intact, vanished with her request that he doff his helm. The same distance she found so unnerving, he found comforting, making all of this easier. Like dipping one's toes into a pond before jumping in.

"You will not like what you see." The warning Ivaan stated was as cold as the steel which guarded his scarred face.

The sudden edge to his voice, that flat warning...it sent an abrupt shimmer of doubt through her...one she quickly pushed away. Bee frowned, the glint of familiar determination sparkling behind the remaining tears. In those moments she was certain that nothing he revealed to her could be worse than looking at that dispassionate, faceless helm of his. Perhaps he had a scar or two? Many adventurers did, this was the way of things; scars never bothered her. Perhaps then there was something else wrong? That maybe he grew awkwardly, that pleasant smiling face not quite retaining the charm it had once boasted. It wouldn't matter to her, looks never did; she just needed to see him in the flesh, to know that it was truly him under there. Her mind could not conjure up a single reason why his warning should be heeded.

Bee replied quietly, "I don't care. I want to see your face, Ivaan."

Ivaan said nothing more. He knew that look, even after a decade. There would be no arguing with her at this point, her mind was set. Besides, he would have to take it off eventually. It was not something he was looking forward to, however. His hands drew from her, coming along his jawline towards the back of the helm with practiced ease. Even with his sense of touch dulled behind the leather and metal of his gauntlets, the clasps and latches of the helm were easily found even in the less than optimal lighting of their lanterns and spells. The helm split in half, perpendicular to the plane of his face, and was lifted up and away from his head. The black hood that lay beneath was pulled back, revealing the same warm chestnut hues of his hair that she remembered, but longer and combed back. A quick swipe of his fingers on both of his cheeks whisked away the tears remaining from the initial shock of their reunion, and he lowered the doffed helm away. The round, boyish face she had known was gone. The years, and the trials that they had brought, had sharpened his features like a whetstone to steel... Even in the warm light, he looked gaunt, hardened... tired. His jawline was cut, angular, terminating in a pronounced chin that sported a short tuft of a beard. Above, his lips drew thin, pursed with strain of this moment he so dreaded. It grew worse, the longer the eye dwelled.

On either cheek, a darkened slash of scar tissue, widest from the jawline and growing thinner as it trailed up his face... Pointing straight towards the trough carved diagonally across most of his face, over the bridge of his nose, and up into his forehead. It looked like somebody had taken a spoon and carved it into his flesh, like one would into a pudding. A jagged canyon across his face. The wound had pulled the skin of his brow downward as it had healed, permanently furrowing his brow... Which only made it worse when he finally opened his eyes. The warmth of his golden hues had been honed into something sharp... Their opening was now akin to somebody drawing a knife as he met her gaze. He said nothing... merely waited. Waited for the horror that was about to mar his dearest friend's face at the shock of whom he had become.

<< Three || Five >>

#ffxiv #ff14 #ffxiv rp #rp #balmung #crystal data center #Ivaan Arkwright #Bee Ohkabe #[ Reunion ]#A Gathering of Threads #Part Four: Scars and Regret #A Gathering of Threads Part Four #; A ;

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lovelikelex · 4 years

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Christopher Robin

I have never talked in-depth about my experiences at Walt Disney World. I never felt like I ever had to. The funny thing is, I noticed before I left for Orlando that I was always feeling like I had to compensate for something. The way I looked, the way I acted, the way I loved. As I have stated in previous blogs, this journey in healing and accepting that I wasn’t perfect and that not everyone would like me began in late May/Early June. Everyone thinks it all started with the initial move to Orlando or the job that was mentally and physically demanding, but no. This journey began surprisingly with a bear and a tiger.

Upon my arrival at Disney, I felt very... empty. Did you know that sometimes adjectives like empty can be feelings? Have you ever felt that way? Maybe when a pet passed away or when you had to move schools or if your parents got into a fight? I felt empty and hurt. And all of those feelings of past frustration and anger and sadness left me in my room a few days after my arrival. Rather than cause a scene or lash out, I took time to defect on my past behavior. Sometimes, people who have mental/emotional problems lash out when they really want to love others because it’s all that they know to do. I’m wondering, friend, did you ever do that before? Did you ever say something mean or rude about someone who was just trying to help you or be your friend? Did you ever accidentally lash out on someone when they only wanted to love you? These are normal things, I assure you. But because I had no outlet to help me with those issues, I often did these things. I felt extremely bad afterward. I often did this as a child too. I would have meltdowns so severe that I would tear posters off of my wall, kick and scream, refuse to eat, hit and kick and even hurt myself. Yes, it is hard and sad to admit. These compulsive behaviors were all that I knew. And each time that I would hit or kick or get angry and yell, I would secretly find myself crying in my room feeling bad about what I had just done but couldn’t help... that, my friend, is emptiness. I am not ashamed to say that though I don’t scream and kick or hit anymore (thank god), I still find it sometimes hard to manage those feelings and issues that come into play.

After unpacking and spending that time reflecting on my anger, sadness, and inability to cope, I said out loud to whoever could’ve listened “I don’t ever want to be that bitter, angry, and mean person again. I want to love and to be loved - to show other people how much they matter and to know deep inside that I am better for it. When I wake up, I will be a different person.” And I was.

After my first week of training, I was thinking of what I could do on my next two days off for some fun. I put on some clothes, and I headed to one of my favorite parks, Magic Kingdom. When I arrived, I went on a few rides and soaked up the environment around me. I was not expecting that day for what came next. As I walked toward the teacups, I caught a Glimpse of Winnie The Pooh and Tigger - two of my most favorite characters growing up. As I looked at them in that seemingly long line, I took a moment to reflect on all of the times that I would rewind my VHS tape of Pooh’s Grand Adventure as a child. I thought of every morning that I grabbed my Pooh and tigger stuffed animals off of my bed and placed them onto the couch as I went into my own special place in my head, dancing away to the music in The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh. But more than anything, my heart ached for that child I was so many years ago, crying and begging out loud “why can’t you come play with me?” As I stared at the tv in utter disbelief that I had absolutely no friends due to the compulsive behaviors that I utterly could not help or control. And as I saw that child in my head, I hugged him briefly for a moment in my heart before hopping into the line and waiting my turn to finally hug my two virtual “best friends” from the tv.

I ran into Tiggers arms, as he had always been my favorite next to beloved Pooh Bear. I told the characters how much they had meant to me, shed a few tears, gave my hugs and kisses. I told them how much they mattered and they listened to every word, holding my small sweaty hands as tight as they could. That was the first day of my mission to love and to be loved. As I walked away with watery eyes, a character attendant chased me down the sidewalk frantically. Smiling, she said “Pooh and Tigger just wanted me to tell you that they Love you exactly as you are. They were so happy to see you and they hope you come back to see them sometime.” At that point, no one had any idea that I worked for the company. They simply thought that I was a child. It’s kind of funny to think about, but also endearing. Childlike wonder is one of the purest things in the world. After that, an idea came to me: I went to Walmart with a friend one night and gathered up a yellow polo shirt and some navy blue shorts with some knee-high socks.

The next day, I went to the Crystal Palace Character dining as Christopher Robin. The whole restaurant stared in awe as I made my way to my seat. And one by one, my hundred acre friends were so excited to see me. It made me smile to feel such positive energy around me. After the breakfast, I went to a gift shop and I found this raggedy-looking, original Tigger and I had to have him. He was $35 without my 20% cast discount. He was the very first merchandise item that I ever bought at Walt Disney world and he hasn’t left my side since. After that, it was back in line to see Tigger and Pooh at their usual meeting spot. I waited 45 minutes patiently and it was hard for me. Sometimes I have found that when we are waiting, we want to rush. That is never okay. Rushing is rude and sloppy. Sure, we want to rush, and sometimes we even have to rush, but it’s always nice to wait our turn and to take our time.

As my turn approached, tigger and Pooh were so surprised and in awe at the cute little outfit that I was wearing. The photos above were taken the second time I had ever met tigger and Pooh. Tigger was attacking me with cuddles and kisses and tickles and Pooh was just as soft and cuddly as the day before. I was developing a love in my heart for these very special character friends that could never be broken.

After that day, I wore that Christopher Robin outfit almost everywhere I went, and people started talking. Entertainment started noticing and it was becoming a big deal. I started to get noticed everywhere I was as Christopher Robin. Nobody even knew my real name until I started my postings on the special Facebook group for people who were involved in the same internship as I was. I would even get recognized at Walgreen’s or at my Job. It felt great to know that people were being kind to one another and loving each other the way that I had wanted since that night that I had prayed about it.

I visited Pooh and tigger every chance I got. Sometimes 3 times a week or more. And my love was eventually spread to ALL characters that I visited weekly. I became a friendly face to all of those wonderful entertainment folks and I was always sure to visit every single character when I went to a park to ensure that I wouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. Some of my favorite characters were always Elena, Tiana, and Launchpad McQuack. I also enjoyed seeing Peter Pan.

One day, upon my reflecting which I did often, I came across a very special song in Mister Roger’s Neighborhood - one of my special interests and shows that I enjoyed when I was younger. It’s called “I like you as you are” I will write the lyrics down below:

🎶I like you as you are

Exactly and precisely

I think you turned out nicely

And I like you as you are

I like you as you are

Without a doubt or question

Or even a suggestion

Cause I like you as you are

I like your disposition

Your facial composition

And with your kind permission

I'll shout it to a star

I like you as you are

I wouldn't want to change you

Or even rearrange you

Not by far

I like you

I-L-I-K-E-Y-O-U

I like you, yes I do

I like you, Y-O-U

I like you, like you as you are 🎶

I sang this song to Mickey and Minnie one August day in Town Square Theater, and they enjoyed it very much. So much that I could feel them both sobbing onto me as I held onto each one of them and reminded them that they were so special. I looked them into the eye and told them that I loved them exactly as they were and that they never had to do anything extraordinary like put on a funny hat or sing a funny song for me to love them. I remembered the photopass cast member, Meredith, whom I did not know at the time, sobbing her eyes out at the “selfless act of love” and affirming words that she later described to me in a well-written letter, thanking me for what I had done. I hugged Meredith that day, and I told her that I loved her as she was and that there was only one person on earth like her. Did I say that to gain attention? No. I said that to Meredith because she deserved to hear that. Don’t we all? How much is it to ask to simply remind others how proud you are of them? And how much you enjoy being around them?

That song followed me throughout the rest of my internship and I sang it every time after that encounter with Meredith, Mickey and Minnie. And I delivered affirmations each time after that reminding my character friends and former cast members how much I openly, fiercely, freely and unapologetically loved each and every one of them without the expectation to gain something from that love that I had given.

When fall arrived, I was having a hard time coping with my job, but I still made time for the weekly visits to the characters. I started dressing up more frequently and as other characters due to the Halloween Party pass I had. I had so many different outfits - Peter Pan, Pinocchio, Mickey Mouse, Tigger, Pooh, Mister Rogers, and of course my old friend, Christopher Robin whom I never forgot about.

My friend Shay even organized a birthday party where several of my entertainment friends showed up. There was a Winnie The Pooh cake and some decorations and even some gifts. Most of it was beautiful art that I still have, and by that time I had completed the Winnie The Pooh Original stuffed animal collection I had mentioned earlier. Tigger now had Pooh, Piglet and Eeyore to keep him company. I wa grateful to had spent my birthday around so many people who mattered to me and who reminded me how special I was. For once in my life, that child from my heart so many years ago that longed for friends, finally got his one true wish.

Months had passed, and I had all of these special bonds with all of my favorite character friends. My friend Koda from Brother Bear was another bear-y good friend I liked to visit. I used to come to the dance party in animal kingdom back in June/July and just watch Koda from the sidelines, too anxious to say hi, until one day Koda came to me. I attended the dance party once a week after that. Koda and my character captain friend Lisa even got me a little Koda Bear as a gift after the dance party had ended due to a lack in entertainment funds and Koda had to go away. Though I was heartbroken, I was thankful for the special one-on-one time that they always allowed me to have with my friend.

After Fall left, I knew that my mission was over and that my message was fulfilled. My last week at Disney was my most favorite but most painful goodbye I think I ever experienced. It started at Animal Kingdom with a visit to Launchpad McQuack - one of my most beloved characters. I looked into his eyes one more time, and reminded him how much I loved him while delivering the affirmation that had grown on me in those seven months: “did you know that you make so many days so special for so many people? Just by being yourself. There is only one person in the whole world exactly like you and people can like you exactly as you are” choked up, I could feel my throat swelling up as I blinked and tears fell from my eyes while singing one last time “I like you as you are... exactly and precisely..” I sobbed my eyes out as I walked on to my next goodbye. That was when the entertainment leader had come out and said that she had a day filled with surprises for me. I got to say goodbye to all of my favorite fab five pals like Goofy, Donald, Daisy, chip n Dale.. they all surprised me with a big group hugs. I could feel them all, specifically Donald, sobbing next to me as I said again for one last time “you have made these seven months the most SPECIAL seven months.. by just you’re being you!” Sang my song and grabbed a few more photos before begging led to every single character in animal kingdom. My heart was truly touched at the way I was treated with such profound kindness that day.

After that, shay brody and my “new dad Scott” made our way to Magic Kingdom to say goodbye to my friends Tigger and Pooh. I don’t even remember being able to speak at first because I was just so heartbroken, so instead, I began to faintly sing “I like you as you are....” my tears interrupted me as I sobbed gasping for air and never wanting to leave the side of the two furry friends who helped change me for the better. For the last time for a while, I reminded pooh and tigger how much I loved them. I thanked them for their friendship and gave them each one last kiss on the nose. I was allowed to walk with them back to their special spot near backstage area. One last hug, one last affirmation, and one last kiss and then that chapter in my adventure book had ended.

I was always so thankful for every good thing that everyone did while thinking of me and my mission to LOVE while I was in Orlando. Learning to love others and to be loved was my greatest achievement. I am proud to have been an assett and to have mattered to that company and community, but now, it’s time to move on to school and to love even more and to show what I learned while I was gone. I still often think of Christopher Robin. I am thankful for him and although he is tucked away for now, he is always with me - just like those special memories with pooh and tigger and the other phenomenal entertainment folks of Walt Disney world.

One more thing before I sign off for the night, you have made this day so special for me. Just by being you. There is no one else on earth exactly like you, and I like you exactly as you are. In fact, that’s what makes you so great. You’re you and I’m Me. We are still able to grow and to love even at 20 years old or 45 or even 100. Don’t ever lose that sense of childlike wonder, internet neighbor.

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endysgirl · 5 years

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Sailor Pluto, A Birthday Tribute

My Sailor Pluto birthday tribute..I got a bit carried away so read at your leisure. I wanted to talk about Setsuna’s complicated place on the timeline, specifically in the manga.

In the manga, we meet Setsuna in the Infinity arc at K. O. University. She’s a first year lab assistant in the science department, majoring in Theoretical Physics. We first meet her when she’s introducing herself to Reika, whose Mineralogy Club is meeting next to the lab. In this chapter, Tellu is using plants to drain people’s life energy and Setsuna has one of those plants in her lab. At the same time that the Inners confront Tellu, Setsuna’s life force is being drained in the lab by the plant. Haruka and Michiru are at their condos and they can feel that someone very close to them is in pain. As Setsuna tries to fight against the plant’s power, she remembers the “reason I was born! The reason I was *reborn*!” And just like that, she awakens with the symbol of Pluto on her forehead. This causes Haruka and Muchiru’s forehead symbols to glow and teleport them to Setsuna. At the same time Mask, and possibly Moon and the girls, sense that someone has awakened. They continue to fight Tellu and as ChibiMoon is about to take a hit, she’s saved by Pluto’s Dead Scream attack.

The two of them share a sweet moment where they hug. As Pluto starts to explain that she was sent to complete an important mission, ChibiMoon notes that Pluto is different from the one she knew. She’s stronger and grander. The three outer Guardians kneel to the now transformed Princess Serenity and officially introduce themselves. Pluto explains their role during the SilMill and that they too were reborn but that they awakened too late to stop Pharaoh 90 from invading. Pluto explains that the Death Busters from the Tao star system were attracted to the unusual energy of the Mugenzu (the triangular delta that the three buildings bearing the Outers’ names contains and the site of Mugen Gakuen, and the site of the future palace of Crystal Tokyo), and they are warping the space-time continuum of mugenzu. Michiru and Haruka chime in to explain that they disguised themselves as students and that this is their jurisdiction and don’t want the Inners interfering. They say that they have stronger powers and stronger items. Mask interrupts them to ask what items they’re referring to and if they mean the three talismans that will lead to destruction. In the manga, the Outers have always been in possession of their talismans and are not searching them out like in the anime. Mars, who has also been having prophetic dreams like Mask, joins the questioning, asking what exactly the talismans are. The only answer they give before leaving is that their talismans and their mission is to bury their ultimate enemy, “the Deity of Destruction”.

So how exactly did Pluto get here at this point in the manga? It’s revealed that the Outers were reborn at the fall of the SilMill along with the other Senshi. But Pluto was apparently sent from the future? But reincarnation is cyclical so it’s irrelevant where she died on the timeline, but what does that mean for the current Pluto that we meet in the third arc of the manga?

Let’s review Pluto’s death in the manga because it’s truly significant. She stops time in R when Demande has both Silver Crystals and is trying to make them touch and destroy the world. This allows Moon and Venus to take both crystals. Venus holds onto the future crystal. As Pluto dies because of using her Time Stop, Black Lady is shaken. She remembers how much she loves Pluto. She cries a single tear, which becomes ChibiUsa’s Silver Crystal and future starseed, allowing her to shake off wiseman’s control, power up as a Senshi for the first time, and start growing TF up. It’s Chibi-Usa birthing her own Crystal that awakens NQS from her slumber too. After she has her mommy moment with ChibiUsa, NQS promises that Pluto will have an eternity of peaceful slumber in the Crystal Palace.

So yeah, Pluto dies. This is majorly significant bc it’s implied later that she didn’t even do that for the fall of the Silver Millennium. Her and the others had to watch as their talismans activated and awakened Saturn. They had to watch her drop her Glaive of Silence on the Silver Millenium and on their beloved Princess - ending everything they had been protecting for so long. The manga heavily implies that Uranus, Neptune, Pluto and Venus have the most significant emotional trauma from the fall of the SilMill.

Ok, so this brings us to the Infinity Arc. In the manga, when Pluto is awakened. She is already a student studying at Mugen Gakuen. We never hear about her backstory but it’s implied she has one since she had a life up until then. When the 3 Outers reveal themselves in the manga, Pluto explains that NQS had a new mission for her and sent her to be reborn. That means NQS has the power of reincarnation which we come to fully understand during the Stars arc, but still pretty cool. The Outers also say they were reborn after the fall of the SilMill. It’s implied that this is referring to Neptune and Uranus, not Pluto since Puu just said it was NQS that sent her. This is also stated in the anime, epi 113, when Mamoru meets them. Uranus and Neptune say they were reincarnated from the SilMill and Pluto says she’s from the future.

OK, so let’s talk reincarnation and it’s gonna get mindfuck-y if you think too much. So before we follow Pluto’s reincarnation, let me reiterate: reincarnation is cyclical, not linear. That means that a person can be reincarnated at any point in time, it doesn’t have to be the future, even if we refer to it as the “next life”. It’s not implying chronological order. In this case, in the manga, when Pluto dies in the future in R, she is reincarnated backwards into Usagi’s time frame. That should mean that in her future, she will die. And when she dies, she will be reborn to the past? Again and again? Idk. But, that would happen if there is continuity. The timelines never get explained but IMO I think they SHOULD BE divergent, but they ARE NOT. And that doesn’t really work but it also kinda works bc it’s implied. Sailor Moon went to the future to stop Nemesis, which she did. So we can assume that the current Usagi will one day give birth to a ChibiUsa that shouldn’t steal the Crystal. But that’s not necessarily true. In the manga, they never tell ChibiUsa that she was Black Lady. She has no knowledge of that. At one point they mention BL, and ChibiUsa is like, who? And they change the subject fast. So it’s possible all the things that happen in the future are still going to happen bc they don’t prevent it. But why don’t they?!?!?! So I guess, it’s not divergent. I keep talking myself in circles on this one...side note: in Stars when the world starts going to shit, the future with NQS, NKE and ChibiUsa starts getting warped. NKE doesn’t know what’s happening and eventually him and all the Senshi start fading. NQS says there must be something distorting space and time and changing the future (Galaxia). ChibiUsa says she’s gotta go back and help Moon. NQS has been acting like she doesn’t know shit up until that point but then she gives ChibiUsa a time key and tells her to go across space and time to the far end of the Milky Way aka the Galaxy Cauldron. So homegirl knows what’s happening, which proves it’s not a divergent timeline. But god dammit i think there’s still a good argument made for a divergent timeline. (😭😭omg somebody stop me). All that being said, perhaps the Pluto of Mugen does not reside in Crystal Tokyo at all. Maybe she goes elsewhere through space and time but then what? So perhaps the timelines are not divergent but maybe there are two Sailor Plutos who can’t exist in the same time plane. So if I haven’t twisted my thoughts too much, the idea is the Pluto in Infinity, is from the future and she’s different than the Pluto ChibiUsa remembers - Bigger, stronger - so she is not the same Pluto who will, in the 30th Century, use Time Stop. So if we follow this timeline, and everything parallels what Moon found out about the future and ChibiUsa does end up taking the Crystal and WiseMan attacks, the Pluto and Outers from this Infinity timeline are not present in Crystal Tokyo. So then we get the Pluto guarding the time gate (Hallway Pluto from R) showing up and dying to protect the world and ChibiUsa. And then she’s sent to be reincarnated by NQS into the past.

Did I lose anyone? Do you all hate me now? 🙋🏾‍♀️ I lost myself a few times and had to stop, reread, align my ideas again and try to explain them. Lmao. Anyways, Happy Birthday, Pluto!

Fun side note (bc the main post is deranged enough): we all know that time gate Pluto had a thing for NKE. Can’t blame her. She’s been in that hallway forever and he’s literally the only dude she’s ever seen up til then. But I’d argue that Infinity Pluto who fights alongside Moon is different from that Hallway Pluto and doesn’t still have a thing for him.

#sailormoon #sailor moon fandom #manga moment #sailormoonmanga #mangamoments #sailor pluto #puu #setsuna meiou #setsuna meioh #reincarnation #bishoujo senshi sailor moon #sailor moon

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