#(<-changed the wording on something nbd)

[the-sage-libriomancer]

Some fruits basket aus i would never write but sometimes think about out of morbid curiosity:

AU where Tohru is the cat spirit and Kyo is Kyoko's son

AU where Tohru never met the Sohma family and the curse broke suddenly and messily several years later

AU where all the zodiac animals are switched (Yuki is the rabbit, Shigure is the snake, Ayame is the cat, etc)

AU where the zodiacs ages are randomly switched around (Yuki is 19, Kyo is 10, the Mabudachi Trio are 15, etc)

AU where Akito actually fucking kills one of the zodiacs while rage-attacking them (maybe Rin or Hatori) and it immediately has Consequences

#this is tangentially relatedly to the last post #all of these aus would fundamentally break the themes and/or alter the characters #but by golly are they interesting to speculate about #fruits basket #tohru honda #kyo sohma #yuki sohma #tw: abuse mention #tw: murder mention #sage speaketh #au tag #edited for your convenience #(<-changed the wording on something nbd)

[liquidstar]

Can you not edit asks anymore wtf??

#hope it's a glitch bc this is dumb #i just wanted to add a tag #but what if i worded something wrong or had a typo or forgot to add a pic etc etc #or what if i wanted to turn reblogs or something off in an ask post?? i can't do that now? #i kinda understand the idea if its on purpose about not changing answers but this is still ridiculous #it's a post. asks are posts. you should be able to change it if it has a problem #in this case i just forgot to add a tag so nbd tho but like #come on posts are supposed to be your own things you can customize. let me edit that shit

[7ndipity]

They accidentally call you Yeobo

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: How they would each react to accidentally calling their crush Yeobo.(Context: Yeobo is a Korean term of endearment similar to Jagi(honey), but it is typically only used by married couples, it’s like referring to someone as hubby/wifey)

Warnings: Swearing,

A/N: Thanks to @starlitskygrazer for requesting this! I had a lot of fun working on this one, I hope you like it!

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin: Realizes what he said as soon as it left his mouth, but instead of letting his embarrassment show, he plays offended when you question him and turns it into a bickering match. “What? Would it be so bad to be married to me? I’m great husband material!” Makes you think he’s just fishing for compliments to the point that it might become an inside joke between you.

Yoongi: Would probably slip up when you’re doing something together like cooking, like “Yeobo, can you pass me that?” When you both realize what he’d said, he would play it off as if it was on purpose and that he was teasing you like “What? We sound like an old married couple.” even though on the inside he’s probably screaming. “WTF WAS THAT YOU IDIOT?!”

Hobi: Catches it as he’s saying it, and immediately bursts into nervous laughter, trying to brush it off as an innocent mistake. “Where did that even come from?! I’m so sorry!” If you tell him it’s nbd, he’ll let it go at that, but if you say you thought it was cute, he might start teasing you with it sometimes as a way to test the lines between friends and something more…

Namjoon: Mentally screaming no.2. He doesn’t even realize what he said until you point it out, and then he sort of just short-circuits for a second before brushing it off and moving on without commenting further on it, like “I did? That’s weird, my bad…” but inside he’s just like “fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck”

Jimin: Mentally screaming no.3. Hears the word echo back into his ears and just freezes for half a second before trying to speed past it and keep talking, until you repeat it back to him in question, and he just purses his lips and feigns ignorance like “Hmm? No, I said-” and tries to quickly change the subject again like nothing happened.

Taehyung: This one was not an accident, he did it on purpose and fully owns up to it. But the issue here is that he already calls you little pet names, like Baby and Jagi, even though you’re ‘just friend’, so it doesn’t really get a reaction out of you, much to his annoyance. “Hey, Yeobo?” “yeah?” 😠”Nevermind…”

Jungkook: Actually screaming No.1. He gets so flustered and starts trying to flat out deny that he said it with increasing desperation. “I didn’t say anything!” “I heard you say it.” “No, you didn’t!” You’d almost think he’s trying to gaslight you if it weren’t for the very visible panic in his eyes to tell you otherwise. Please let it go, for his sake?

#bts reactions #bts reaction #bts scenarios #bts fluff #bts headcanons #bts blurbs #bts blurb #bts x y/n #bts x reader #seokjin x reader #seokjin x y/n #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x reader #hoseok x y/n #hoseok x reader #namjoon x y/n #namjoon x reader #jimin x y/n #jimin x reader #taehyung x y/n #taehyung x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #bts requests #7ndipity

[munsons-hellfire]

Hi there!! i saw you’re gonna start writing for acotar! can i request a helion x reader where it’s a double date but theyre both like no we’re just third and fourth wheeling nbd but maybe there’s an ulterior motive somewhere to get them to realize their feelings for each other??

We’re Just Friends | Helion

SUMMARY: You and Helion are oblivious to each other's feelings until you arent.

PAIRINGS: Helion x Reader

CONTENT WARNINGS: SFW, fluff, angst.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: You have no idea how excited I was when I got this request. I had come up with two ideas for this and ended up going with the more angstier version because I loved it so much. I also added a little more to it because I wanted to build something between the reader and Helion. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it. Thank you for requesting for Helion, he is one of my favorites from ACOTAR so I had a lot of fun with this!

WORD COUNT: 1.7K

You’d been a member of the Night Court since you were born. With friends such as Rhysand, Cassian, and Azriel you were able to escape Illyria before they had a chance to clip your wings. You’d found your family became of those three males. You were an emissary to the Night Court, often traveling between Courts to form a bond to have an ally in any future war. The Autumn Court and Spring Court were courts you often avoided if you could.

You knew the history between Rhys and Tamlin and couldn’t stand the male. You didn’t get along with Beron in the least. Always trying to defy what he wanted to do. One High Lord in particular had caught your attention. Helion had taken the opportunity to get to know you, he’d befriended you and whenever you visited his Court it was hard for your friends to separate you from him.

Before Amarantha happened they could see the love that was there between you and Helion. Rhys kept quiet, as did the others but they knew something would happen between you and Helion eventually. When they were trapped Under the Mountain and you were locked up in Velaris everything had changed for you. You’d become a shell of your former self and even when Prythian had been free at the hands of a human who risked her life in the process and died, you still hadn’t managed to pull through.

The months leading to the return of Rhys you started seeing Helion again, slowly but surely becoming yourself again. It was even more of a reason that Rhys and all your other friends believed that you and Helion were mates. But there wasn’t time to say anything right now with a fight on its way. The war had been fought and won. Rhys had died in the process only to be brought back.

Everything seemed to be right in Prythian. After the way you’d stayed with Vassa and Jurian to help rebuild whatever was left standing. You’d found a friendship with the two, and eventually Lucien when he joined them. Upon returning back from the work you’d helped with in the Human lands Helion had requested that you become his emissary for the Day Court.

Helion had seen how much you’d managed to accomplish in the months after the war against Hybern was over. He knew you’d be a great addition to his court, he also knew you’d look better in Day Court colors. After a talk with Rhys and Feyre, your High Lord and High Lady you had their approval. You said your goodbyes to your family, promising to come visit whenever you could and you left.

It had been 10 years since the events of the war. Things were steady now. You had everything you ever wanted, accepted you knew there was still something missing from your life. When Feyre and Rhys invited you and Helion to join them in Velaris for an outing, you couldn’t say no to them. Helion had agreed, though there wasn’t much you’d have to say to convince the male to go with you.

He enjoyed being wherever you were, so if you want to go see your family he’d follow along with you. The night had started out wonderful, you and Helion had met up with Rhys and Feyre as a casual get together, but they had other plans in mind. The mated couple was going to get you and Helion together by the end of the night. They still didn’t understand how either of you could’ve gone this long being so oblivious to the fact that you and Helion were in love with each other.

Helion couldn’t bring himself to admit it, he was afraid to lose you as a friend or worse to someone else. Meanwhile you were afraid of his rejection. He was a High Lord after all so he’d have every right to say no to you if you’d so much as mention your affections for him. The four of you sat at a table in a restaurant in Velaris. You’d given Feyre an odd look when she had mentioned that this was a double date.

You had finished your food, your eyes were on Helion as he talked to Rhys and Feyre about something. You weren’t sure what he was talking about. You’d been so focused on his face that his words slipped right through your ears. You blinked, finally taking notice that all eyes were on you. Suddenly you felt as though you’d miss something.

“Oh, you did, sister.” Rhys whispered in your mind. You glared at him, throwing your shields up to block him.

“I’m sorry, what are we talking about?” You asked softly, not looking at Helion, afraid that you’d disappointed him by missing something so important.

“I was just wondering if you’d be coming to see the rest of the family later tonight, maybe bring Helion.” Feyre said, her eyes planted on you. A smirk rested on her lips. You knew that she was having a mind conversation with Rhys.

“Oh, I’m sure Helion wants to head back home soon, so maybe another time.” You didn’t miss the way Helion had smirked at your comment.

“Nonsense, I think we can stay a little bit longer.” Helion remarked, a smile on his lips. You gripped your drink, sipping the wine slowly.

“Great.” Feyre said excitedly.

“Maybe we can even get you two together.” Rhys said, causing you to choke on your wine. You put your glass down, attempting to stop the coughing fit.

Finally you were able to get words out. “We’re just friends, Rhys.” You said, and it was a simple answer. Feyre and Rhys had caught the look of hurt that had crossed Helion’s face when those words had slipped from your lips.

“Yes, we’re just friends.” You winced, it was almost like Helion had been hurt by your choice of words. You felt you couldn’t breathe, you were being suffocated by everything around you. This was not what you’d expected to happen tonight.

“Excuse me, I need some air.” You were quick to get up and leave the restaurant before any of them could protest. The cool air hit your skin when you walked out the door. You walked down to the bridge that overlooked Velaris and the Sidra river.

More than anything you wanted to be with Helion, you knew you’d been in love with him for so long. So why did your words affect him so much, you were so certain that he didn’t feel the same way about you. That you were just an Illyrian female he wanted to bed. Your wings moved in closer to protect you from any passersby as you let the tears fall down your face.

“So that’s what I am to you, a friend?” His voice was cold, distant as the question left his mouth.

You didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. Not when you were still crying over what had happened. You should’ve known that Helion would chase after you.

“I didn’t mean it to come out that way.” You said, pulling your wings back and tucking them in tightly as you turned to look at the male.

“Then how did you mean it?”

“I just, I mean we are friends. There’s nothing between us so why does it matter?” You were really hurting him, you knew that.

“Because.” He whispered softly.

“Because isn’t an answer.” You watched as he walked closer to you, closing the space between you and him. His hand gently touched your cheek. You looked at him with a glimmer of hope, of love in your eyes.

“Because I love you, I have loved you since I first met you. I have loved you since I discovered you were my mate. And I will continue to love you until it is my time to leave this world behind.”

You felt your heart picking up its pace at his words. You could hear the honesty coming from him. And then it happened, you felt it, that gold string tie around your heart. You gasped, your hand flying to your chest as you felt the strength of the bond pick up between you and Helion. Finally he smiled, still looking at you.

“But all this time, you, you were seeing other’s.” You felt yourself cracking waiting for his answer.

“It was just for a fun time. I may bring other lovers into our bed, but they will never be able to replace anything. I fell for you, my sunshine. You are the light in my life that I’ve been waiting so long for.” You released a broken laugh, tears falling down your face. “Please don’t cry my love.” He whispered as he kissed the tears away.

“I’m just so happy.” You whispered, pushing your hands into his wavy hair. “Because I've loved you since the moment I met you too. And I am so thrilled to be your mate.” He smiled at your words and brought his lips to yours kissing you softly. Cheering could be heard in the background. You and Helion pulled apart from each other to look at your family that had been nearby.

“I think it worked, Feyre, darling.” Rhys said, as the mated couple walked towards you and Helion.

A smile rested on your lips and you pushed yourself closer to Helion as he wrapped his hand around your waist. It was the happy ending you’d been looking for, your mate. And now that you’d discovered everything that happened between you and him was the bond’s way of informing you, you couldn’t be more happy.

“I hate you all.” You whispered, resting your head on Helion’s chest.

“I don’t think so. If it hadn’t been for them inviting you to dinner neither of you would’ve known.” Cassian remarked, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Not true, General. I’ve always known about the bond.” At this you looked up at Helion.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You asked him.

“I didn’t want to risk our friendship in case I was wrong, or the Mother was wrong, or something happened. So many reasons, and I just don’t care because I have you now and that’s all that matters.” He placed a kiss on your head.

“No more lies, promise?” You whispered.

“No more lies, I promise.” The bargain was set, a slight sting of pain ran through your forearm as a bargain tattoo was crafted. The night sky mixed with the sun. A bargain between you and your mate. The happiest of endings, one you were so thankful for.

#reader insert #x reader #a court of thorns and roses #the night court #helion x reader #helion x you #helion spell cleaver #helion acotar #the day court #rhysand #feyre archeron #inner circle #cassian #morrigan

[strawhatsoraya]

don't block me, coward!!!! another renji x reader request bc i have issues. ummm with the prompt “don’t give me that look” and “show me” and also they're at a dinner party *makes things up* have fun *twirls around*

listen you menace!! i wrote your request. it's only been 2 months. nbd. LMAO. anyway here is some renji smut. per your request!

ABARAI RENJI X FEM READER | NSFW

WORD COUNT: 3.6k (my condolences to everyone, I wanted it shorter but alas) CONTENT WARNINGS: voyeurism?, renji has a hard time keeping his hands to himself even in the presence of others, he doesn't care who sees, renji is mean and a bully, nipple play, biting, licking, blood play, renji is a damn freak and nothing phases him, a sprinkling of anal play, some choking, and someone gets slapped with a penis--don't ask questions, mouth fucking, if i missed something i'm sorry this man won't let me live

Heads Up

Meetings in Soul Society were tense, formal, and absolutely boring, even with Shunsui leading. It was a change of pace from the way Yamamoto would conduct them, but it still felt as if time barely moved. 

Time was a tricky thing; finicky, ill tempered. Sometimes too much, and at others: never enough.

Just like there was never enough time for Abarai Renji to run his hands along the curves of your body. You were busy laughing with Rangiku, who spills a drink over her exposed cleavage as she giggles. Renji widens his eyes in an attempt to stop himself from rolling them. You had insisted you needed to let loose. You had clenched your jaw so tightly during the meeting, you complained of soreness. Renji watches you throw back a drink. He follows the path of a drop of sake as it trails over the edge of your chin, and down the column of your neck.

He swallows as it disappears between your breasts. 

“Rangiku!” you whine, and raise a hand to clap the blond on the back. Rangiku hiccups and leans over the table, her pale cheeks turning crimson. For someone who adored her alcohol, she had an uncanny ability to become quickly inebriated. “I’m not done talking. Hang in there!”

Renji laughs softly, a crooked smile stretching his lips. The dim interior lighting of the barracks catches one of his canines as he approaches behind you. His hands are warm over your uniform, as they trail over your hips. 

“Leave her,” he tells you, his breath hot against your ear. You smack your lips, still tasting sake coating your tongue. His chest is hard against your back as he leans into you. “She’ll down another bottle in a few minutes and be down for the count anyway.” You blink, trying to push away the heat trickling down your spine, and pat Rangiku’s arm repeatedly. 

“She invited us over, Renji,” you remind him, lips drawn thin. You tried your most firm tone. Something that you find increasingly difficult the more Renji gets comfortable kissing the soft spot behind your ear. “It is impolite.” He scoffs against your ear, one hand falling on the curve of your ass. You start to formulate another counterattack but he grips a cheek tightly, until his fingers dig into your flesh, scattering all the thoughts in your head.

Matsumoto stirs, and suddenly sits up. “Ah!” she shouts suddenly enlightened. Her smile is bright, eyes a little unfocused as she searches your face. “I have snacks. Do you want snacks? Everyone loves snacks.”

Renji’s laugh comes in low and gruff. It scratches over the nape of your neck, as he brushes your hair to the side. You swallow and clap your hands.

“I can get them for you!” you announce, stepping away from where Renji had boxed you in. You hear him groan, and you take a deep breath thankful for the reprieve. “If you tell me where you put them.”

“No!” Rangiku counters, slapping one hand on the table. She stands up suddenly, and sends her chair clattering with a swing of her hips. “Oops,” she says, and begins to reach for it, but you’re quicker, bending over to put it back upright. “Oh, thank you but–anyway–I can get them. I am the host, after all.”

Renji watches you silently, tapping one hand against his thigh. He could still smell the scent of your shampoo, and you had the audacity to bend over in his presence. His tongue darts out to lick a corner of his lips. He feels parched, so he reaches for the abandoned bottle of sake on the table; the same one Matsumoto had been drinking from. He takes a long drink, and tears his eyes away from your ass–its roundness minimized by the shapeless drape of the shihakusho. Renji didn’t often envy anything from the living, but he was beginning to think the Shinigami uniform was in desperate need for a revamp. 

He moves quietly, slides a large palm over the curve of your ass. You reach out quickly, and swat it away. “We can get it, Matsumoto,” he says congenially, his hand casually sliding over your crack. “It wouldn’t be a problem. You can stay sitting right there.” His fingers push forward, sneaking their way towards your core even over your clothes. You reach behind you and seize his wrist, the best you can manage is to just stop his movements slightly. His show of strength is  more arousing than you’d ever admit. He must sense your goosebumps, or even worse–somehow smell your arousal like a horny beast. 

You think about stepping on his foot, and just when you bend your knee, Rangiku begins moving. She waves a hand in the air as she walks towards you, and drops her hand on your shoulder. Renji’s finger starts moving again. The tip of his middle finger reaches the end of your slit, and you swallow a gasp as he rubs you over the cloth of your uniform.

“It’s okay,” she says with a small smile, her hand still on your shoulder. You bite on the inside of your cheek, when your hold on Renji’s wrist loosens. He takes advantage of your weakness, and pushes his finger forward, dipping the fabric of your uniform into your already wet pussy. “I got it. You guys wait right here.”

Rangiku looks away from you and up at Renji, lashes fluttering slightly. He smiles down at her, and her pink cheeks. There’s a glint in her eyes that makes him chuckle. Maybe she wasn’t that drunk after all.

“Take your time,” Renji says, brushing Rangiku’s hand off your shoulder, He grasps the shoulder possessively as he leans over you to peer closer at Matsumoto. His finger digs deeper into you. You taste copper as you bite down harder on your cheek. “We are very good at keeping each other entertained.”

Rangiku steps away, and you feel as if you can breathe again–although just barely. When her back is turned you swat Renji’s hand away. He chuckles next to your ear, even as you reach behind him to pinch his ass. He hisses, his gaze heated as it courses over your body. You react quickly, reach out and pinch his side. He tries to evade your attacks, laughing as his eyes sparkle with mischief. You slap his chest, and he wraps his fingers around your wrist. His warmth spreads up your arm as he pulls you into him, wraps one arm around your waist. You sense his arousal through his clothes, feel his half hardened erection against your belly. There’s a heat that pools at the pit of your stomach, one that threatens to steal away your decorum. His eyes train on your mouth, and your lips part as you take in a sharp breath.

“Don’t give me that look,” you warn him, your brows set together on your forehead. Your voice sounds convincing even to your own ears, but your legs betray you as they rub together in anticipation. Your words are useless. There were no weapons you could arm yourself with to keep Renji at bay when he looked at you the way he was looking at you right now; ravenous, fiery, all consuming.

He picks you up before you can breathe again. Tosses you on the table. The bottle of sake topples over, the last remains spilling over on the wooden top. It soaks into your black kimono, but you pay it no mind. You’re too busy brushing your tongue against Renji’s. His mouth is fire against yours; a candle’s flame to rice paper, disappearing everything within its heat. His fingers are thick and callused as he slides them over your thighs having pushed up both the black fabric and your white undergarments. 

“She’ll come back any minute,” you mumble against his mouth, his hands squeezing your thighs. You whimper as he nips at your bottom lip and pulls roughly. He simply laughs at you, his breath bouncing against the apple of your cheeks, as he drags his searing mouth across your skin. 

“Maybe she will,” he says in a song, his tongue flicking out to lick your earlobe. You shiver in his embrace, his hands slipping over your hips. “Maybe she won’t.” He picks you up quickly, pulling at the fabric roughly to release it from underneath your ass. “You don’t have to worry about that.” He slips his fingers between your ass and the table, searching and gripping. You mumble against his open mouth kisses, his saliva making your bottom lip glisten.

“Don’t,” you whisper, as he bites your chin, and further down following the length of your neck. Your hands sweep over the expanse of his back, feeling the muscles rippling under your palms when he moves. “You’re always trying something.” Your fingers slither up the back of his neck, and tangle in his crimson locks. His fingers are mischievous and intrusive. They fondle the supple flesh of your ash, fingers reaching deeper and deeper towards your crack. You wiggle, trying to stop his hands with your weight.

“Come on,” he goads you in a playful whine. He scatters kisses across your cheeks, kisses the corners of your mouth. “Just the tip,” he mumbles against your jaw. You feel his lips stretch when he smiles, and you let out an unattractive squawk when he pushes the tip of one finger against your puckered hole. 

“Seriously!” you hiss angrily, pulling on his hair in a petty act of revenge, stopping his laughter short. You take his bottom lip between your teeth and bite down until you taste his blood on your tongue. He hisses, and moans when you release his lip, and presses his mouth tightly against yours for a prolonged kiss. “I hate you,” you groan, licking his injured lip.

Renji chuckles as you let go of his hair to bring your hand to his face. You brush your thumb along his wound, smearing blood across one cheek. He smiles when you touch his lip with your finger tips, his canines sharp and teasing. Gently, he nips at your fingertips.

“Ok, liar,” he says around your index finger as he sucks on it noisily. “So you hate me. I wanna see your tits.”

You pull your hand away sharply and glare at him. You have no idea where he made the connection, but have no plans on making him explain himself. It would be pointless and every second wasted was every second closer to Rangiku's return. 

“Tsk,” you click your tongue and quirk an eyebrow. Renji reaches up to brush his thumb along it. He trails hot fingers along your temple, and down your cheek. He follows the shape of your jaw, and settles his hand neatly on your throat.

“Show me,” he demands, squeezing his fingers around your throat. 

There’s a moment you hesitate, one where you consider defying him, but you know that it would only result in your shihakusho being torn apart. You undo your kimono, and your garment underneath. It falls off your shoulders, and pools around your elbows. Renji takes in the smoothness of your skin, and the thin white bandeau that keeps your tits in place.  He looks up, a brow juts up as he dons an impassive look.

“What,” you mouth as he stares at you. He shakes his head softly and reaches out. In a swift move, he yanks down your bandeau causing you to gasp. The air feels cool against your hardened nipples, and you instinctively let go of Renji to bring them to your breasts. He swats your hands away, and makes space for himself. His mouth is unforgiving, as he curls his tongue around a nipple. His hand finds the solitary breast, gripping and kneading without restraint. You try not to moan, try to keep your breathing in check, but the wetness soaking through your panties is a stark reminder of your weakness for his touch, his kisses, the heat of his skin.

He slurps as he brings the other nipple to his mouth, squeezing your breast tightly. You moan, biting down on your lip to try to keep quiet, but his mouth is so hot you fear you’ll melt if he keeps up. Your back arches when he bites down on the underside of your breast, and you bite your tongue in the middle of a cry.

“Quiet,” he tells you as he licks a wet path between your breasts. “The walls are made of paper or did you forget that little detail?” You watch him, chest heaving, as he bites across your breasts, leaving red and purple marks on your skin. You bring a hand up against your mouth and bite down on the soft pad of your palm, underneath your thumb–anything to keep from crying out again when Renji drags the tip of his wet tongue in circles around an abused nipple.

Your muffled moans are enough to drive him crazy. Renji thought he was a man of restraint. Perhaps it was delusion, an over inflated ego, but he always thought he was in control yet the way you’re reacting has him questioning everything. You jut your hips against his hardened cock, seeking out friction between your legs as he slurps loudly around a nipple. He is so impossibly hard he thinks he can’t take it for much longer. He looks up through his lashes at you, watches you shut your eyes tightly and bite down on your hand where you leave imprints in the shape of your teeth. 

You had done so good at keeping quiet. Such a good girl, he should definitely reward you if he was a better man. He contemplates challenging you, contemplates pushing you further to see how much more you can take but when he sees a trickle of blood slink slowly down your wrist he thinks better of it.

“Okay, okay,” he concedes, pulling away from your breast with a pop. His lips are glistening, and there’s a trail of drool oozing down his chin. Renji reaches for your hand, pulls it away from your mouth, and kisses your bite. He looks down at where you broke skin with a frown, and licks it gently. “You don’t want to get caught so badly you’d hurt yourself before that happens,” he mumbles against your skin. He looks up at you from where he’s kissing your palm. He laps at the little blood smeared on your skin with soft licks. “Shame on you.”

There’s a whimper in the back of your throat, one you try to swallow at the sight of Renji’s thick red tongue lapping at your small wound. It was insignificant and had stopped bleeding, but he tended to it like you were made of porcelain. 

“I told you, Rangiku will be back any minute,” you tell him, snatching your hand away.

“If you don’t want to get caught,” he says out of the corner of his crooked grin. “Since you can’t keep quiet, how about you suck my dick then.”

His smile broadens when you narrow your eyes at him. There’s a noisy breath coming your nose when you breathe out, that makes him chuckle. Wordlessly, you jump off the table, and lower yourself in front of Renji. His hand is large and heavy when he places it on your head. When you look up, he strokes your hair softly. 

“Go ahead,” he tells you, looking down his nose at you. “Be a good girl for me.”

There’s an art to finding treasure, and your fingers are sonars as they slip under layers of cloth. You find him after a few moments, and wrap both hands around his shaft. He was large, and thick and heavy. You smack your lips, feeling your mouth water. It was futile thinking you could fit all of him in, but you always tried, and he always mocked you. Your hands move gently, as you stroke him. His tip is pink, and bulbous, a shimmery glob of precum sitting temptingly on his slit. You dip forward, tongue out, eyes fluttering close to lick the precum off his cock but no sooner do you get a taste that you hear footsteps enter the room next door.

You still, frozen in the moment, as your heart seizes then runs at an alarming speed. Heat floods your veins, and blood rushes to your face. You look up quickly at Renji, seeking a plan of action, but he only tilts his head at you in confusion.

“Go on,” he mouths, his voice barely making a sound. You blink up at him, brows drawing together. You begin to protest but Renji grips your chin with a large hand, and presses down on your bottom lip with his thumb. “Open,” he whispers. You’re not sure why you obey, perhaps it’s the dark clouds behind his eyes, or the way his jaw is set, but you slacken your own and allow him to push his cock into your mouth–inch by inch until you gag.

You blink through the tears, and gag repeatedly every time Renji thrusts into your mouth. You focus on breathing through your nose, as you reach out to grab the back of his thighs. His cock barely fits in your mouth, and you look up to see him wincing, brows knitting together with each stroke. There’s a heat between your legs that grows with each snap of his hips, each little soft grunt and groan he gives.

“Teeth,” he mumbles, and grabs a fistful of your hair. He pulls out and you gasp loudly, a string of drool keeping your bottom lip and the tip of his fat cock connected. “Less teeth.”

You nod silently, eyes darting to the opposing wall. You see shadows past the shoji screens that divide the rooms of the barracks. If you could see them, could they see you? You look up at Renji, and think you should stop this lewd adventure, but he slaps his cock against your mouth, startling you back into reality.

“Come on,” he says quietly with an impish grin, one that makes you feel hot and tingly. He rubs the tip of his cock across your lips. “I thought you said Rangiku would be back any minute now.”

When you open your mouth to cuss him out, he shoves his cock inside again, making you gag. You hold on to his hips this time, shutting your eyes tight. You could hear voices next room, as you fight your gag reflex. The slick between your legs is no longer contained by your panties. You feel it slipping down your thighs. You moan as he fucks your mouth, gripping the flesh of his hips. You slide your hands towards his ass, and grab tightly, fingers pushing into his flesh with enough force to bruise.

Renji grabs fistsfuls of your hair, and looks down at you with parted lips. His pants are soft, but grow desperate with each stroke. The way you gag every time he pushes deep makes him want to go faster, but there’s tears rolling down your cheeks–the ones your lashes can’t contain, and as much as he wants to keep fucking you until you’re sobbing on his cock, he thinks there is a limit to what you’d let him get away with.

“You look so pitiful,” he tells you in a whisper. His tone is light, and teasing. “You hear that?” He asks you, and points his head next door. “Sounds like Captain Kuchiki. Wonder what he’d think if he saw you in this state.”  You blink up at him and moan, as he picks up the pace in which he’s fucking into your hot mouth. There’s drool running down your chin, and down your neck. It pools over your breasts, and seeps into your pulled down bandeau. His thrusts get faster, more violent, and your tits jiggle with each movement. You’re embarrassed at how turned on you are at the idea of someone seeing you, kneeling there, half dressed, tears running down your face as Renji fucks your mouth with his fat cock. Renji laughs softly, and strokes one of your cheeks.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he asks you with a small frown. He chuckles again. You moan around his cock, the vibrations causing him to shiver. Renji closes his eyes to focus on the feeling of your tongue pressing against the length of his shaft, how smooth and hot the inside of your cheeks are. He hears the voices next door become quizzical, thinks he hears them talking about you. He smiles and bites down on his lip. What you didn’t know wouldn’t hurt you. “Don’t worry, I’m not about to stop you.”

His thrusts stutter as he feels himself close. He plunges forward, shoves his cock deeper into your mouth until you’re gagging so loudly in between your moans and pants that he’s sure they can hear you next door. He pulls your head back with a yank, and uses his free hand to furiously pump his cock. You watch through your tears, the fat tip peeks through his large fist with each vicious stroke, until hot white cum shoots out. It coats your breasts, and slides down your belly. You’re trying to catch your breath, taking big gulps of air. Your legs feel numb, but Renji pulls up your bandeau, and dresses you quickly. 

He pulls you up into his arms, holds you gently, against him. You hum as you grip his arms. His breath fans across your cheek as he kisses his way to your ear and whispers: “Just a heads up: they’ve been watching us all along.”

#renji x y/n #renji x you #renji x reader #abarai renji #renji smut #bleach x reader #bleach x y/n #bleach x you #bleach smut #fic request

[octoagentmiles]

hello hello hello, i come bearing headcanons for my dearest octoagents <3 the old mens™

angst cw for some of em, woops- (mentions/descriptions of anxiety, and implied trauma)

Natquik:

the Antarctica Incident had a much greater toll on him than he realizes. he's just ✨ Fine™ ✨ y'know? nbd <3 (he's not fine somebody please hug him-)

has a Thing about things breaking/not working. it causes him to immediately panic and have a million thoughts rush through his head about how he'll survive the weather, how much food he has, etc., even if it's something small.

he also doesn't like being alone for too long. you'd think he'd be "used to it", but nope.

but on the bright side: contrary to popular belief, he wasn't completely alone while trapped. he befriended a lot of penguins. mostly against his will, but still.

1000000000% views Barnacles as his son but he'll never admit it.

so gosh darn fluffy. basically canon but yeah. aside from the adorableness it's kinda a burden because he'd probably overheat really fast if he left his station.

fluent in Russian, and used to have a habit of muttering Impolite Words™ under his breath—until reuniting with a grown-up Barnacles who picked up some Russian in his worldly travels. now he only does it in private.

he watched the great penguin race. he saw and/or heard Barnacles there, but wasn't sure if it was him. they left before he worked up the courage had a chance to talk to them.

Calico Jack:

mmmmmmmmmm. undiagnosed autistic. masks really well but only among other pirates, who have completely different social rules and whatnot. he's struggling now because he doesn't know how to mask anymore. he doesn't need to, because literally all the Octonauts are neurodivergent, but pshh

he's going through a redemption arc in his head. no one else knows about it because everyone likes him already and thinks he's great, but he can't see that.

his leg will start to hurt really bad if he runs on it too much—he tries to avoid it if he can, but sometimes he's stubborn, or just forgets (until it's too late).

three words: phantom limb syndrome.

has anxiety and gets nightmares. he's good at hiding it, but sometimes a really bad one will bother him for a day or two.

Emotional Support Bird Pete Emotional Support Bird Pete Emotional Support Bird Pete Emotional Support Bird Pete Emotional Su-

wrote hundreds of letters to Kwazii when he was in the Amazon, but never sent them. he still wants to give them to him one day.

his eyepatch used to be covering the opposite eye—that's why Kwazii's is on that side, and why his statue (slime eels) and mini carving (pirate parrotfish) both have it on the wrong way. he switched it over when he left to hide live in the Amazon.

Marsh:

genuinely forgets that he's green sometimes. someone will comment on it and he'll be like "????? oh right–"

sings; he used to make up road trip songs with Tweak when she was little. he still knows them all by heart.

slightly hard of hearing (for rabbit standards). hi @timegays. you did this to me /pos

Him 🤝 Barnacles: separation anxiety and a secret fear of storms. i will not elaborate further <3

highkey a dad to 90% of the Everglades creatures. every single one of them is like family to him.

he grew up side-by-side with a lot of the older swamp critters (Belle The Turtle, & maybe Flo The Flamingo), he considers them like his siblings.

his first name is literally "Ranger": he had it legally changed, so that he and Tweak (who decided to go by "Tweak" when she got into engineering) could both be named after their interests.

unintentionally inspired Tweak's engineering special interest. that motorboat he has in The Alligator-Shark? it used to break down constantly, until he taught her how to fix it. she fixed it ONCE and it never broke down again. it gave her such a rush of euphoria that she went around fixing everything, and eventually building new things. and she just,, never stopped.

#love how some of these are angsty and some of em are goofy. no in between #octonauts #octonauts above and beyond #octonauts natquik #octonauts calico jack #ranger marsh octonauts #i dunno what tags to add lol #fun fact: arctic foxes have the warmest fur in the world! do whatever u wish with this information #love how someone in the writing room rly said ''✨ let's give ALL the dads trauma <333 ✨'' /j #i think one of the main reasons natquik didn't sound the octoalert sooner in the red fox is because he secretly enjoyed the company (: #anyways #hi tg 👋👋👋👋 :)) #also btw natquik is autdhd and marsh has undiagnosed adhd. thank you for your time byebye <3 #and ranger marsh is The Dad Ever. byebye² <3

[the-marshmallow]

So about my Durgetash dynamic for Roux. As I mentioned I love their relationship portrayed as some dark, depraved and all around fucked up sort of love, but for my Durge personally I move all the dark and depraved aspects slightly aside.

Unoriginally, it starts with mutual respect - respect for the status, respect for the skill, for how good they both are at what they do - that’s in the game, that’s on the surface. Then comes trust. After a few close calls during their heists, they come to trust each for being reliable, true to their word, loyal even. An alliance of peers at its finest. Nothing new here either.

Then there's acceptance - accepting that they are both horrible human beings if they bothered applying any kind of average human morality to themselves, which they don’t (they are both aware of morality and can apply it when needed). They are not mere mortals, they are above that, or below - doesn’t matter - they are outside either way. They were made this way, even born this way, at least one of them. Gortash sees Roux failing CON check to hide a not so subtle sexual pleasure during the goriest of kills and he’s just moderately curious, maybe slightly aroused. That’s how Bhaalspawn function, nbd. Nothing the other one does causes any kind of repulsion or judgement. No moral frameworks applied whatsoever. It's freeing, convenient and comforting even.

And then comes the weird love. And it’s only weird because of how terrifyingly humanly normal and pathetic it is compared to everything else they are and do. It comes from such banal things as extreme loneliness, emotional repression and isolation. It is not enough to change anything about or for them in the grand scheme of things. It is unnecessary at best, absolutely unacceptable at worst, at least for one of them. It is not viable. It is like some kind of very rare and fragile thing they know will inevitably die in their hands, but - dead or alive - they still want to keep it. And they don't dare admit it - not to themselves, let alone to each other - so it only ever stays "I liked you". And every instance of emotion they feel for each other they redirect into lust because this - claim, use, possess, dominate - is something that is acceptable at worst, expected at best, at least for one of them. Every unsaid "I love you" turns into "I'll fuck you senseless" and "I'll dominate you in the most twisted ways" and this is - unironically - their love language. And here we have the dark and depraved back in, but like in an angsty way.

#wasd playing #baldur's gate 3 #the dark urge #enver gortash #durgetash

[the-body-remembers]

Yesterday I went to the special screening of 'Who Am I?' and I thought I'd share the things I thought were interesting or funny or sad:

first of all, jantje wasn’t there due to still being sick, but i think it was still amazing to listen to bo

the interviewer asked bo how they manage to separate personal and work life and bo said that they tried that, but they both live for their work so the only time they don't talk about it are "every evening when we go to bed and every morning when we wake up"

bo said that their daughter is a great storyteller and they often pitch her an idea for a new episode/show/storyline and see what she comes up with

then they talked about the movie and bo said that he and jantje didn't know anything about the hacker world and the darknet (they were some dark puns) and they had a week time to inform themselves and come up with an idea for it (and they successfully did)

at one point a phone in the audience rang and bo was like: "mum?"

bo also talked about that the movie is for sure set in the hacker world of berlin, but the deeper question to it is identity and they didn't want to create a story solely based on hacking and instead wrote one about identity set in the hacker world

he joked about that the reason so many people came to the press tour of who am i? was because of fack ju goethe and elyas m'barek and that there weren't a 1000 people because of the movie

he talked about a meeting he and jantje had with an nbd agent in a coffee shop, which he thought was really enlightening for the story and that he told them so much information, which one wouldn't expect from an agent

they once shot a scene in front of the nbd illegally and just jumped out of a van and quickly shot it

the interviewer then asked about 1899 and the cancelation and bo said that it was really frustrating and absolutely wasn't in their plans and the news were just as shocking to them as they were to us.

personally i think it was really hard for him to talk about it (understandably) and you could still hear it in his voice that it was something that is still hurting them (again, understandable)

he continued to talk about "something is killing the children". they are really excited for it because they love the comic and are intrigued to work with an american production.

the contract for it was signed back in november 2022, before the cancelation news broke. the plan was 1899 s2, then something is killing the children, then 1899 s3. obviously that isn't happening like this anymore, which they are really saddened by.

bo also talked about the change in netflix and the algorithms. 1899 obviously had very good receptions and a high number of views, but he said even that can sometimes not surpass the algorithms.

he said that in the end the decision is with netflix and they don't know all the reasons why it was canceled and it sounded like it was a total surprise to them as well, because, as they have often stated, they always said that 1899 was supposed to have 3 seasons

the movie was amazing. i went into it without any expectations and me and my best friend were completely blown away by it. the plottwists were top notch and i was still recovering from the first when the second hit and wow i truly have no words how genius this movie was

i wish i could have told that bo, because it was really fucking amazing, but he went home after the interview. however, i didn't go there with the expectation to talk to him (or jantje) and i was just so happy to hear him talk and see who am i? it was truly an amazing evening!!

#1899 #1899 netflix #dark netflix #something is killing the children #baran bo odar #jantje friese #i just copy pasted my twitter thread whoops #and fixed the embarrassing spelling mistakes cause i wrote it at like midnight #my heart is broken all over again #cancelation feelings hitting hard again

[pttucker]

"Stories should be permitted to even those who have failed." The ones that had forgotten about themselves weren't even allowed to enjoy the opportunities of the scenarios. The < Star Stream > gagged them, and made sure that their words would become incomprehensible to others. […Is that what you truly believe?] Douzhanshengfo asked, his unreadable eyes still locked on me. No, more correctly, he was looking at the power of Chaos rising out from my body. [And you wish to sacrifice your whole being and become an 'Outer God'?] "…That's correct." The Great Sage was yawning with a bored face during my answer and once he was done, spoke his opinion. [Are you done with your confirmation? I told you, didn't I? This guy's really like that.] […Indeed.]

Lmfao I love that everyone who gets to know Dokja is just "no seriously that's just how Dokja is" while everyone who hasn't been watching this wild, scheming little baby Constellation / Nebula run amok is like "no surely he must not understand the consequences."

Oh, he does. He always understands the consequences. He just does it anyway.

Hmmm but the whole thing with failed stories and "ones that had forgotten about themselves" thing again. Dokja has been talking about failed stories for so long now, in bits and pieces here and there. And we've had the idea of people forgetting themselves waaaaay back since Peace Land. Or, actually, even before that if you count the people who read TWSA forgetting themselves and becoming characters. (Man, haven't thought of those guys in forever.)

So I know that this is all building up to something really big but I'm just not certain what.

Besides me still vaguely theorizing that Dokja has gone through this story before and forgotten it, due to his story being ORV and ORV being a novel, and thus something that can be re-read, or Dokja being a part of Oldest Dream, who regretted what he did to Joonghyuk by giving him the power to regress and started the story over as Dokja.

Hmm, maybe Dokja is the one who failed?

Except I've always pretty much thought that Joonghyuk was the one who "failed" because Dokja has always hinted that TWSA ended on an unhappy note and he wanted to change that. And now we have confirmation that it actually did end with everyone but Joonghyuk dying. And for no reason since there's nothing beyond TWSA, meaning Secretive Plotter saw the "end" and it basically just...stopped. The epilogue hadn't been written/read yet.

And now Secretive Plotter wants to change that... supposedly.

I guess it could be quite literal. The ones who "failed" are the ones who died along Joonghyuk's turns and were forgotten in the end by everyone but Joonghyuk himself and Joonghyuk's final reader, Dokja. Just like the story is literally saying.

It's just I've gotten so used to ORV having so many layers of text and subtext so I'm like...there has to be something else to all this "failed stories" and memory issues stuff. Right???

Hmmmm.

Oh, but on another topic, I guess Dokja is Sun Wukong now??? At least one of him? Part of him??? Uh...permanently or...

And at least part of Sun Wukong is an outer god, but apparently that's nbd to him. 😂

Oh, and I guess I didn't realize that all of the outer gods "belong" to Secretive Plotter??? Like, obviously he is the most powerful of them all but I didn't realize that he is literally their "king" or that Dokja becoming one would make him "belong" to him as well?

Or, at least that's seemingly what the Wenny King believes, though it doesn't seem that Sun Wukong becoming part outer god has in any way stopped him from wanting to throw hands with Secretive Plotter so...

I thought that Dokja's deal with the Wenny King was somehow to the Wenny King's benefit but I guess it would have been to Secretive Plotter's? Or both? Thinking about it, I'm not entirely certain why either of them would even want Dokja as an outer god versus just killing him. I suppose it has something to do with Dokja being able to understand the other outer gods? Perhaps something to do with all the stories he's built up? Would Secretive Plotter be able to control him and get him to do something that he needs him to do???

Or maybe if he publicly became an outer god that would shift public opinion and possibly allow them into the story since he's too much a part of this story and he hasn't destroyed everything like Secretive Plotter did so there's still story to belong to, just like how one piece of Sun Wukong becoming an outer god immediately shifted the shares of Journey to the West. Just like Dokja thought it would.

idk...a lot is happening right now. 😂

#orv novel chapters 441-442 #orv #orv spoilers #orv liveblog #omniscient reader's viewpoint #kdj #secretive plotter #wenny people #prisoner of the golden headband

[ferretrade]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Thanks to @merlyn-bane for tagging me! <3

1.) How many works do you have on ao3

Currently 56!

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

183,482

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

At this moment, it's Star Wars all day every day. Specifically into the prequel era and Star Wars Rebels related stuff.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Twenty-Two - an Enjoltaire fic I wrote when I was 20 so let's not talk about that

it's a gift to be truly known - skybridger fic, I'm thrilled to see it this high :')

held like a dream - codywan, interesting it's done better than the others

Lost in the Supermarket - another enjoltaire from the wee age of 20, don't look at me

beholder - codywan, I do really really love this one

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, mostly! I don't always because it gets mixed up with my anxiety and I feel overwhelmed and pressured. So I live by a policy of "respond if I am feeling it, if not nbd."

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I genuinely can't think of anything that has an angsty ending. Angsty middles, sure, but I'm a happy ender. I guess it's like poetry, it rhymes (shatterpoint lineage fic) is a little bittersweet?

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hard to choose? I've written some pretty sappy fluff. I've decided on frame the halves, call them a whole (codywan) because you get a good, way pre-O66 fix it that means no one I like died PLUS force sensitive clones! :)

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

I don't believe I ever have!

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Haha yes. It's generally queer and pretty tame in terms of kink.

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nope, never have.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so! My fics are pretty mid-tier at their highest popularity so I don't think anyone really cares to lol

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes and I'm still so, so flattered and thrilled by it. :''') I believe I had one (or even two???) old Les Mis fic translated before, but I don't see it linked on ao3. And then there's this absolute beauty:

Comme de la poésie, ça rime

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Not technically, but Haley and I have a draft we lovingly refer to as only fan-akin, doc titled (by Haley, credit where due) "the west wing but if sam married the hooker and became president instead of dropping that storyline and leaving after s3"

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

Maybe probably Billy/Teddy from Young Avengers. They're my boys!!!

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Baby girl, I have WIPs you don't even know. I wish I could write the jedi temple epic I wanted to, but my thoughts and feelings have changed so much the whole concept has collapsed and what I have is too messy to use elsewhere. And then there's the courferre soulmate fic I dearly meant to finish and just never will since the interest dried up.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. That's the easiest part for me to write.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Uh well first of all, actually getting myself to write is a big fucking challenge of mine. But really, the spacial stuff and descriptions kill me. Please know that if you ever read non-dialogue, non-thought parts that you like, it probably took me like 10 writing passes to get it just right. I live in a state of editing and reediting.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I just don't! I am willing to add in as much as I know or easy words-- like a bonjour or, if we're talking Star Wars, sprinkles of words like vode. But if someone is talking in sentences, I will straight up do "Sabine said something in Mando'a" or "Stop that, Sabine told him in Mando'a." Easier for me that trying to do bad translations.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Young Avengers!

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

This is ever changing. While I probably go back and read it's a gift to be truly known the most, I love a single slow desire for it being the best, biggest world building I've done. Plus it's f/f and I need more of that in my writing life

I think everyone ever has been tagged already, but if not! Tags for you: @afoundling @happybean17 @tired-bshocked @goddammitjim

#ferretalk!

[mangoshorthand]

five has set my standards high for men 🫢 and i’m going to hold out for a partner like him.

It depends on what precisely about Five you would want to match your real life partner to, but in general I would advise against this. I was going to answer this simply but then I went into a full blown ramble so I'm sorry

Being fictional is Five's biggest allure...

Five is not real and that's a biiiigggg point in his favour. You will idealise him to the point that no real man could ever match up. Imagine a man saying that some super smart and sexy anime girl was his standard for IRL women. We'd rightly tell him that it was an unfair expectation.

If Five was a real flesh and blood man, tied to corporeal form and subject to the curse of existence, I promise you he would not live up to the standards set by the Five in your head. The truth is, Five can never fart on you in bed. He can never have that really irritating habit that makes you want to punt him through a wall, and he will never accidentally hurt you with a clumsy word or leave the dishes in the sink or whatever. He'll never criticise you for any of your bad habits either. Real men do all those things because they're human. They deserve your love and consideration. Don't hold out for a fantasy.

...but if he weren't fictional, he'd be a one man communist uprising considering all those red flags

We romanticize Five partly because he is an asshole. His sarcasm is amusing and acerbic tongue is attractive, mostly because we know there's tenderness underneath it. We have a uniquely intimate insight into his life, past and personality by virtue of him being a fictional character who we have seen when he thinks nobody is watching. We don't have that with real men. Romanticising assholes is something patriarchy has taught us. Just look at the Beauty and the Beast myth that replays itself in our culture again and again ("I can change him! He's different when we're alone, I swear!"). We like to imagine that Five would begin by being a dick to us like he does everyone else, but gradually we would end up being the special person who would bring out all the tenderness we know he has underneath. This is fine when it's a fictional character who we know for sure has all that tenderness underneath, but with a real man whose soul we can never know like we know Five's? No way. I can promise you that you should run a mile from a real man who sarcastically insults people and use their intelligence to put others down. A similar point to Five's violence. This is a character trait you should not excuse in real men. In real life, men who are violent to others will almost certainly be violent to their romantic partners. This is another bonus Five gets for being fictional: he lives in a fictional reality where his violence is justified and nbd because it's a world of comic-book morality.

Alright Mango, you fuckin' killjoy, what can I hold out for then?

Having said all this, I think Five does have some qualities you can admire in IRL men. I've said on this blog many times before that I think I find Five hot because he reminds me of my partner in terms of personality as well as looks. So this is what I think you wouldn't be unwise to look for in a man: 1. Someone with intelligence and competence. There is nothing sexier than someone who has faith in their own abilities and wields that knowledge with confidence, like Five does.

2. Someone with leadership skills without needing to dominate: Five sometimes falls foul of the latter but is usually pretty good at taking control of a situation whilst also hearing everyone out and using the knowledge of the entire room.

3. Someone with a sense of humour. Five's cynical little comments and charming phraseologies (e.g. "Chatty Cathies," "A nap and a schvitz, what more does a man need?") would be adorable in any man.

4. Someone with a mature outlook. Five is just happy living a comfortable life. He likes his creature comforts but he takes pleasure in the simple things. He isn't really competitive anymore because he truly doesn't feel like he has to prove anything. This is partly a result of his age, I think, so I would forgive a younger man for not having this outlook.

5. Someone who cares about his appearance: Five isn't vain, but he dresses carefully and intentionally for the occasion. It not only looks sexy, it shows that he has self-respect.

6. Someone who speaks to you the way Five speaks to Dolores: Five treats his (ex)partner with respect and fondness. He clearly worshipped Dolores when they were together but he didn't patronise her either. He spoke to her like an equal. And after the relationship ended, he never let anybody speak badly about her.

Ok, I'll shut up now.

#number 5 imagine #five hargreeves imagine #number five imagine #fictional men #fictional men are better #fictional men can't fart #let men fart

[outrunningthedark]

Honestly T stop saying everything I want to say just in a better way😂 my problem when people bitch at people bitching about the lacking of buddie saying it’s not the buddie show! It’s what you said. I live for the slow burn, but something has to burn, a character has to make a comment about buddie, buddie need to do something, even little, but they need to show we’re heading there, like they do with all the m/f couples, we can’t have nothing in 6a, and then something big in 6x18

(Always willing to be the mouthpiece for #controversial and #unpopular opinions. 🤭 Glad you're finding it helpful!) The more I think about the situation, the more I align with my previous comments and comments like yours re: the lack of consistency. Again, I am still on the "Buddie's going canon" side of the debate, but honestly...if I'm right (if we're right) and it was decided already, especially if it was decided sometime back in s3 (when the trajectory took a sharp turn in a new direction)...these people look sort of weak :/ Making Buddie a couple won't change or erase the fact that their dynamic takes a backseat in order to keep pushing the belief that both characters are straight/their relationship is strictly platonic. But given how the average viewer is watching through a heteronormative lens, it would take an explicit confirmation (words or physical intimacy) for them to figure out what's going on. The show is overthinking things, tbh. (Like I said earlier: Getting in its own way.) Why does Buddie have to be all or nothing, you know? Why can't we have small pockets of casual intimacy consistently, or remarks in the script - that, yes, could be played off as nbd in the media because they're not gonna give it up early - to suggest at least one guy has deeper feelings? I mean, ffs, we've had two moments where Buck has been alluded to as bi (Maddie saying she wouldn't want Josh to date him and TK thinking he was being flirty), yet the show won't even do anything about it because...Buck can't be #confirmed bi unless he gets with Eddie? What?

I don't doubt that the canon relationship side of Buddie will be handled with care as long as we've still got Andrew, and Lyndsey, and Coto, and Taylor, and the directors who've done wonderful things for them; but I also don't think it's wrong or disrespectful to say the build-up could have been better, could currently be better still. It feels like we're not gonna get legit progression until it's Time, and even though we as fans have been following along for years and finding "clues", for the average viewer...it'll be like reaching a destination and not really knowing how you got there. What "slow burn" m/f couple is treated like that?

#anonymous #tina speaks #tv: 911 #tv: 9-1-1 #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie

[nehswritesstuffs]

Cora Week 2023 - 6 - Fantasy AU

It’s Cora Week, everyone, so time to celebrate our favorite doomed puppy clown with some fic!

Prior fills: Smile [FFN/AO3] - Gun [FFN/AO3]  - Season [FFN/AO3]  - [...]a change[...] [FFN/AO3] - Family [FFN/AO3]

1062 words; I was given an opening to write a fantasy AU and I’m running with it; basically everything’s the same except for the addition of one weird detail that could make or break the show nbd; I flirt with very recent manga spoilers with this one so please be forewarned; this is by far the longest of the fills and that’s alright since I wanted to make it LONGER but restrained myself because that was not the purpose here; technically contains stuff from the prior fill but not really

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“You must remember,” his father had said, so long ago now. It had been a quiet night, with Mother embroidering by the fire and Doffy already asleep from the day’s adventures. Father had pulled Rosi aside and set him on his knee like the proud papa he was. “You are only Human, Rosinante, but a very special Human.”

“Cousin Mjsogard says we are gods,” the boy parroted. “What does that mean?”

“It means that your cousin believes a lie, no more,” Father replied. He sighed, which he often did while talking about cousins and aunts and uncles and neighbors. “You, your mother, and I… we were all born as Humans, just as much as many of the people in Mary Geoise. It is something to love about yourself, to embrace, to love…”

“…and Doffy too!” Rosi’s face fell as he saw his father’s expression grow weary. “Is… is Doffy not a Human?”

“He is not, unfortunately,” Father said. “His birth had been foretold for a long, long time—no. He is not Human, not like us… and even then, not like you.”

“Like me…?”

“Yes.” Father’s face was so incredibly sad as he stroked his younger son’s hair. “You are the only one immune to Doffy’s power. It is not powerful now, but given time and practice, it will be deadly to others. You must learn how to protect him and those around you, or else the tales will come true.”

“What tales?”

“The Death of Joyboy and the Age of True Darkness.” Father stared at the fire for a moment, thinking. “It is why we shall be moving in a few weeks.”

“…moving?! Where?!”

“That remains to be seen, but you mustn’t tell, because Doffy mustn’t know until we are preparing to leave,” Father said. “This is a big change, and it will hopefully help you as you care for your brother.”

Rosi pondered that. “What is Doffy…?”

“That, my child, is something for another day.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Rosi was seven when he finally learned what his brother was.

“…a cockatrice…?” the boy wondered. He frowned almost exaggeratedly. “What’s that supposed to be?”

“The books in our old library said it was a powerful creature that could kill by looking into its eyes. Sometimes touching, sometimes breathing.” The older boy sifted through the trash and found some bread that wasn’t quite terrible, passing it to his brother. “They’re a type of dragon.”

“…but why…?”

“A cockatrice is supposed to be born when it’s time for the Celestial Dragons to defeat Joyboy,” Doffy said. “I was supposed to be the one to bring in the True Age of Dragons… but Father went and ruined it.”

“Why would you want to destroy Joyboy? People ask him to come and free them.”

“Exactly.” Rosi shivered as Doffy’s face got real scary. “Only the powerful get to truly be free. That’s what I’ll be: the most powerful person in the world. Greater than I—”

“No…!” Rosi dropped the bread and put his hands over his brother’s mouth. “We’re not supposed to!”

Doffy shrugged Rosi off and huffed indignantly—he knew his brother was right. “All I need to do is get strong, and then I can find Joyboy and look at him.”

“Why… why would you want to do that…?” Rosi picked up the bread and saw it was still close to edible. “He could be old already, or not even born. He could be a she, or an it, or a they—do we know if Joyboy is even Human? Already a slave?”

“All I know is this,” Doffy took off his sunglasses, his glare piercing and scary and full of rage, “is going to bring the New Age, and instead of the Dragons at the top, it will be me… us…” Something rustled in the garbage and both boys looked—the moment the elder brother saw the rat it began to convulse and froth at the mouth. Rosi turned away as Doffy reached for a rock, the sickening thud confirming that the poor rat had been put out of its misery. “Father can roast this over a fire.”

Rosi was certain he did not like rats, though he did pity them.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“He’s done a convincing job, Young Master, but how do we know this man is telling the truth?” Diamante frowned. He, Pica, and Trebol were in Doflamingo’s office, with the strange mute man who claimed to be their leader’s long-lost younger brother sitting off to the side. The three Elite Officers were wary of this man—he looked so much like their leader—and wondered.

“Indeed,” Trebol agreed. He sucked up a drip of snot into his nose with a snort. “Identifying marks can be faked and information learned.”

“Then let’s try something that can’t be faked or learned,” Doflamingo stated, voice even and dark. The Elite Officers all shuddered as Doflamingo went past them and stood in front of the stranger. “Stand.”

He did, then scribbled something on his pad of paper: What do you want?

“Look me in the eyes.”

Doflamingo took his sunglasses off and stared at the man. He stared right back, meeting his mangled gaze head-on without so much as a falter. Tears began to well in his good eye and he palmed them away.

“It’s him,” he said, trying not to sniffle. Doflamingo put his sunglasses back on and hugged Rosinante. “Welcome home, brother.”

“He survived?!” Diamante gasped.

“He’s not writhing in pain…” Pica marveled.

“Most people are rendered helpless in an instant!” Trebol puzzled.

“Not my brother—he’s the only one it doesn’t work against… always has.” Doflamingo led Rosinante towards the Elite Officers with a grin. “Gentlemen, I do believe we have a new Corazón for the Heart Seat after all.” He felt Rosinante tug at his shirt and he looked at the writing pad.

Rendered helpless? I thought your glare killed.

“Not anymore,” Doflamingo replied sadly. “It hurts, it tortures, but it’s not like it should be. You can thank our fool of a father for that.”

But you—Rosinante stopped writing when his brother’s hand rested on his.

“You have a lot to learn about the last few years, dearest brother,” he whispered. “Don’t worry—I’ll make sure you stay at my side… at the top…”

Rosinante gulped and nodded, though inwardly was doing a dance for joy.

He was in.

#CoraWeek2023 #Donquixote Rosinante #Donquixote Rocinante #Donquixote Doflamingo #Donquixote Homing #Donquixote Pirates #One Piece #fan fiction #I know I'm throwing stones in a glass house but it baffles me to no end how certain parts of fandom treat Doflamingo #so if y'all like that whatever just know you ain't finding it here #the idea of him being Born Wrong and is a Prophecy Gone to Shit does appeal to me tho #just in a fucked up sort of way

[marley-manson]

hahaha yes.jpg i was hoping you'd rb that writing ask game i am v curious about 💝💋🍭🌿 and may be back with others if i see no one asks them

Oh nice, tyvm! Glad I decided to reblog after all lol

💝 what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

hmmm, I'm a litte surprised that my Hawkeye/Frank fic got a lot of positive comments, but as a smaller pair it does kinda make sense since people looking through the ship tag are more likely to find it and be excited about a new fic.

Also in general any comments about someone being emotionally affected by what I write is a little surprising (and really awesome), because I'm pretty emotionally detached from my own writing, and I tend to aim for subtle indications of emotion over big statements and idk if it works most of the time lol, so if I make someone feel some kind of way it feels like a real success.

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

I actually don't care either way, whatever the author does is fine with me. If I leave a long involved comment I might look forward to a response, but if I don't get one I'll forget about it in a day or two anyway lol, and it's nbd.

🍭why did you start writing?

Like way back when I was a kid I just had ideas I wanted to express somehow, and I was no good at drawing lol so it had to be writing. I usually only wrote summaries and outlines of stuff at first, then I started writing scenes and failed attempts at fic that never got anywhere bc I'd run out of steam after half a scene, then longer scenes, and now I'm finally writing full fics. And I still write because I have ideas/opinions/hot takes that I want to express and sometimes meta just doesn't cut it.

There's also a 'be the change you want to see' mentality lol, I only feel inspired to write if no one else is writing [concept]. One nice thing about being really picky about characterization is that the motivation to write remains pretty constant, because the more specific I am about what I want to see, the less likely it is that someone else has already written it.

🌿how does creating make you feel?

I enjoy it! If I didn't enjoy it I wouldn't do it lol, I have v little willpower to push myself through something I don't want to or have to do. I do find it most enjoyable when writing from Hawkeye's pov right now - like I genuinely really enjoy describing things from Hawkeye's pov, the comparisons he makes, the way he phrases stuff, it's super fun to emulate and I always get a little kick when I write something that feels genuinely funny or witty lol. If I'm writing "my own" prose (or BJ's pov lol) then I find that the act of putting words together feels more like work and I have to get enjoyment from just creating what I want to see.

I'm actually unofficially planning to polish up and finish a Berserk wip I've had in my docs for like 5 years for a fandom event, and I'm wondering if I'll have fun or find it a chore lol, since I'm not at the height of my Berserk obsession and neither character has an intrinsically fun voice to write in.

#ask meme #text post

[punkscowardschampions]

Mafi Pt.1

Mattie: [Okay ladies, it is a good six months since you would have last seen each other for Leavers which is the end of June/start of July typically; safe to say we did not in the SLIGHTEST expect to be seeing you today, at Jay’s engagement party of all places, so the double-take we do will actually be comical like HELLO ?!! Of course, we’re coming over, hopefully, you had enough time whilst we were in shock to say hi to Dolly who actually invited you here, excuse us everyone ‘cos none of y’all know who this girl is so you will all be peeping on the low like who dis as we’re giving you a hug literally like ‘I can’t believe it!’]

Fi: [Like, there is a slim chance you maybe saw each other if she was loitering around in September because uni doesn’t start until October if we want that, but yeah, regardless the shock and awe will be dramatic, I’d like to point out before I have her hug this gal back and say something that because she is super gay she absolutely has one of the last sweet pea flowers of her last season at school pressed and in her phone case, whether Mattie clocked that at the time or isn’t going to until tonight when this bitch is taking pics, but ANYWAY, hug her back and say ‘hello, miss’ being unnecessarily flirty about calling her that again, just because, but CLEARLY buzzing to see her and smiling so big like hey]

Mattie: [when you get to be gay so you can go full force with the romantic drama, shine my boo, shine, I’ll say whether that has been clocked or not we’re not mentioning it in front of the rest of the crowd rn; shaking your head and giving her the friendliest of pushes like oh, you ‘Please, even if we were in term time, you only ever called me that to get a reaction’ me like a reaction, lol ok girls, doing our big grin ‘so, how was first semester?’ ‘cos why do we go American when uni, to feel fancy? Idk but go off and also of course we want to know how it has been]

Fi: [this is my moment, sang like the martine mcclutcheon song obvs hehe, doing a cheeky eyebrow raise at the word reaction, gotta ‘and without fail, it worked every time’ like yep, we both know exactly what I’m doing and why, emphasising this unnecessarily by touching her in some way related to her ootn but super flirtily, whether that’s like touching her waist or back because of outfit deets or her hair for a hair accessory or purely straight coming at her jewellery, either way like nice because we approve, having already drawn attention to her own outfit choices by acting like she’s gonna stumble to her death in whatever shoes she’s rocking cos of Mattie’s gentle af push lol, of course being a massive nerd about everything to do with uni, lowkey giving her too many deets not just about her course but who she’s met and what she’s been up to other than class cos has always been your vibe to talk and talk and talk to this gal about everything, excuse us everyone, eventually, when she’s exhausted the uni topic, asking ‘how’s things with you, at your end?’ which means how’s you and how’s work going/how’s my gals at school etc but also means how’s the old form teacher who bullied me because I vibe that before she left she told Mattie the full story about that, having the energy of in a kind of spark, minus the autism, but her being a handful and said teacher handling it ALL wrong, so she’s hoping that lady isn’t a form tutor any more as of this year]

Mattie: [doing the sort of you-got-me shrug with a lil smirk because we know we fell for it in all the ways ‘easy target, I believe you said’ not us harkening back to the first day like an insane person, miming a little shooting a bow and arrow moment before you’re putting out a hand and holding her arm to steady her lest she actually hit the deck, so now we’re just holding each other in a very casual way, nbd, after LINGERING, pull your hand away and fold your arms as you get into this convo, giving her that lowdown on all the things that might have changed and the things that haven’t ‘you’ve not felt too homesick then?’ IMMEDIATELY putting our hand on your arm again, in that comforting way because everyone does the first year and the way we clearly mean for the school more than we mean your literal family there]

Fi: [‘did I?’ said with the tone and smile of knowing you did because she remembers but downplaying it like lol lol what am I like and how rude of me, love how immediately gay y’all are being at this function and the fact you’ve barely said hi to Dolly, amuses me greatly ‘it’s been bearable, thanks to keeping busy, you know’ genuinely and in a subtle I’m soz I haven’t been in touch kind of way ‘the place hasn’t fallen apart without my leadership then?’ obvs glad actually but doing a lil pout about it like the audacity]

Mattie: [she’s clearly used to it and this was your vibe before but it is rude when she’s specifically invited you for backup tonight, which we are aware of because not a crap sister despite how we’ll feel like one when this all goes down ‘it isn’t the same without you’ as genuinely, even if we’re doing a little lol at your pout, using Dolly to move her closer to you and push ourselves away like must mingle ‘cos really, you must ‘be back in a sec, it’s so good to see you’ not the brush off it invariably sounds ‘cos we truly are and are all too aware we could stand here and ignore everyone else all night if we let ourselves]

Fi: [SUCH a genuine smile at her admitting it’s not the same without us, shamelessly, not soz ‘I can’t get used to not seeing you every morning either, it’s too strange’  despite the fact we’re waving her off to go and mingle because this bitch is the queen of mingling so she knows what’s up, like yeah yeah go it’s fine, catch up with Dolly for a minute because keeping her sane is the actual reason why you’re here, but I am also gonna have to say you talk to the happy couple to say congrats because she would on her way to get y’all drinks or something, so when she’s talking to Jay/Noah/both and they mention Mattie, cos you clearly know her lol, saying like it’s bants cos of how great she is or to confirm the lewk she’s serving ‘I had the biggest crush on her in school’ which I’m gonna need Mattie to overhear without the rest of the convo because Winnie insists, even though she isn’t shouting it across this party or anything haha]

Mattie: [a meaningful look back as if to say hold that thought because the strangeness cannot be overstated because y’all were her first year of leavers, so she’s yet to get used to the machine of getting to know kids at 11 or whenever they join and then waving them off at 18, not at all mentioning the possibility or the specificness of not being used to not seeing YOU every day, nope lol; Winnie says we owe him so much sapphic tension now, thanks, when you don’t have an ego at all so you’re thinking she must mean Dolly which is awkward because we know Dolly is very straight from the confiding she would have done about some of the Swiss school nonsense]

Fi: [soz that will seem true because when she gets back from her congrats for the happy couple she’s gonna be doing everything a good friend would to make sure Dolly has a good time at this party, including so much chatting and so much dancing, it’ll seem very gay and very like you do have a crush on her now lol]

Mattie: [I can’t help that she isn’t a bitch to assume that’s about her, Winola, there’s nothing I can do hun, when you’re now like oh no, do I need to stealthily save Dolly from this situation or nah, what a comedy of errors; at least the grandparents are also there and they could need to talk to Dolly so we can butt in at some point like grandma needs you girl go ‘can I get you a drink? that only being a novelty on my part, though it is’ at Fi]

Fi: [look around comedically and dramatically like you do when you’re checking someone has really gone before you answer because in solidarity with Dolly she hasn’t been drinking alcohol while they’ve been vibing cos just the kind of bitch she is, again it looks gay though, doing a face and lol of relief like oh thank god as if you are that desperate for a real drink cos that party girl persona you put on from her literal first day with the practice telling off of it all, and nod as you say ‘sure’ too eagerly but don’t elaborate on what you actually want, because again this bitch]

Mattie: [looking after Dolly with a smile like yes, I know because you’re not teetotal yourself but you know where her disdain comes from and you can’t blame her for it, nor do you not think it’s a legit response because duh, James is your dad, you know the score; looking back at this girl and going to do another oh, you shove but stopping yourself like oh no, must not, lest you topple over again ‘you’re still fond of a guessing game’ like that hasn’t changed either, I see]

Fi: [smiling too big about the bants of her calling you a pisshead because we just love that the rapport is still here and hasn’t changed ‘with you’ no notes, just remembering the Emily Spinach moment and I’m sure countless other guesses Mattie has slayed that we’re yet to write but just know exists]

Mattie: [doing your own smile back and silently reminiscing with you because the only way you could’ve got that Emily Spinach one is by being that gay and we all know it lol, you love to see it; ‘just know I’m playing it safe, lest you be unable to keep up with your noble escort duties’ like I KNOW your fave drink would be something more hardcore but I won’t get you smashed when you need to be good company for Dolly, ‘cos not having you think we’re lame here]

Fi: [‘as long as you’re aware I’m only allowing it because I take them extremely seriously’ gesturing at herself and her outfit cos her and Dolly are lowkey matching here like yep gotta be the best plus one this town has ever seen lol, cos she do, despite also knowing Mattie would be at this and wanting to see her, not saying at all that’s the only reason she came ‘and you’ll owe me a dance, we haven’t had one together since leaver’s ball’ oh lord imagine how gay that night would’ve been please, not this girl being like I KNOW that’s unsafe and you gotta to even the score]

Mattie: [doing a little bow like but of course as you gesture at her as well like I see what you’re doing here and we approve, then reaching to whisper in your ear, if in a stage fashion to make it less serious so you can deal ‘you look more dapper than the soon-to-be-groom’ ‘cos Nay did not get the memo and all their guests have outdressed them really, soz; walk to the bar situation girl before you can acknowledge you’ve made your own cheeks pink here ‘and I’ll have your drink for you’ as you’re walking away because you can have a strong one, I’m sure it’s your first drink that isn’t the champagne you politely sip at these sort of functions]

Fi: [it’s her laugh making that so much flirtier and gay, because it seems like Mattie said something way more flirtier and gay than she did, for me, plus giving her the gentle push that Mattie didn’t go through with but a moment ago like oh you, get out of here ‘dorm inspections all over again’ called after her, like ty for the reminder cos was homesick, we can all imagine what was getting confiscated and again what you are saying about yourself]

Mattie: [shaking your head as you’re walking but not turning around so you can’t see the 😏 we’re also doing, order her some sort of wine vibe whilst you get yourself a cocktail because we all know cocktails go the hardest, whatever the male ego says about them being pretty and fruity, like there’s usually at least 2 types of liquor in them if not more]

Fi: [when you are gonna lowkey down that drink ASAP because it would be your first one with booze in it if you arrived late and didn’t get the welcome champagne, and like, you’re nervous to be reunited with this gal in this setting, but distract from the fact you just did that by playing a guessing game about what her cocktail is]

Mattie: [‘I can sneak you another under the table’ again in your stage whisper, like I know the party isn’t jumping that much you gotta be in her ear, just talk normally hun; but we legit sympathise with being at a party with only 3 people you know, Lulu barely at all and she’s busy doing whatever she’s doing, and not being able to loosen up with a drink if that’s your normal, which it is most people’s, doesn’t actually make you a party animal by default ‘or, let you have a sip, you can guess the ingredients then’ like we could do that, making a face like ooh, it strong ‘cos clearly lol]

Fi: [the absolute mischief in her eyes at both of these suggestions and absolute delight at who they are coming out of the mouth of, cos clearly love to be a bad influence upon this gal, but there was no encouragement needed, lowkey heart eyes though at her ADORABLE face when she takes a sip because simply must, taking the glass from her and taking her own like she’s doing her a favour sharing here if it is that strong, without making a face, but barely, like she really had to give it her ALL to stop herself from doing one, so then that making her lol, but correctly guessing through said lols, duh, excuse me while I die at her lipstick print on this glass as she hands it back cos we’ve all seen the outfit, we know she’s wearing it] 

Mattie: [maintaining unnecessary eye contact as she does her sip, narrowing your eyes and pursing your lips like you’re keeping the closest of eyes on her, trying to guess her guess before it’s out of her mouth; of course the lol is making us do our own heart eyes ‘how do you know what [an obscure ingredient they put in just to be fancy, you know the kind] tastes like ?!!’ with our own laugh like I don’t know, feels like cheating, not us here running our thumb over the lipstick print, your glass by your hip so it’s not like obvious you’re doing it, but we are]

Fi: [‘how would I have a fave bartender for years and not know?’ like what do you take me for, I’m SO knowledgeable thank you, with an unnecessary wink like keep that in the vault with all my other secrets you have I’ve overshared, as she’s pulling her towards the dance floor to have the dance she insists on and won’t take no for an answer about]

Mattie: [rolling our eyes affectionately ‘I assumed you tipped well and she kept quiet about the fakeness of your ID’ the way we’ve assumed it was a woman, got your number lmao but also outing yourself there, get dragged to this dance floor which I hope at least has some of Nay’s friends on because we know the party is not hip happening and the way it’d be a scene for all the nosy hoes if it was just y’all up there now, not that we’re concerned personally, here spinning each other around like kids]

Fi: [‘I did and he did’ my deliberate he to keep her on her toes here as if that’s fooling anybody haha, with a cheeky grin like she’s the devil emoji irl, in contrast to a moment later when she’s doing whatever ballet moves she can remember from her youth because Mattie is literally that ballerina rn and always]

Mattie: [doing a grumpy lil face as if it is somehow worse that it was a man, soz some things seem that way, especially if you’re not checking yourself and your opinions, which we’re not right now because we are spinning and sipping, I like to think your drink has a straw she would have purposely had to avoid to leave her lipstick mark on the glass because I can; doing such a happy clap like YAY when you realise what she’s doing and attempt to direct her with all the french words that I ain’t gonna sit here and look up, get yourself en pointe though hun, literally wearing ballet shoes, v Titanic of you]

Fi: [‘don’t be upset, I’ve learnt my lesson’ because it does read as sketchy af and we’re all aware of the fact, which she’s saying, but it’s also giving the double meaning that you don’t mess around with men/boys anymore so I love that, as do I how hardcore this girl is getting into this ballet lesson, taking her shoes off and everything to see if she can copy this, which you absolutely cannot because that’s so difficult and you clearly did it as a kid for like a couple of years max ‘okay, no, I’m way too sober for that’ as we try and fail, loling, clearly all the more impressed by her skills because of]

Mattie: [‘was it a you thing or a schoolgirl thing?’ like do I need to go to some pub local to this school and scare off some letchy barman, but also acknowledging that it was and is entirely possible that this dude just fancied her and wasn’t fussed she was like 17 or whatever; just having the best time showing off our ballet moves here and teaching you like there’s not people just milling about making small talk over picky food ‘later I’ll have you on your toes then’ leaning down to pick up her shoes to hand her]

Fi: [‘did I look like a schoolgirl out of uniform?’ when you’re genuinely asking like did I look my age/underage for him to be that level of creepy but everything has this double meaning and flirty edge to it that you just cannot help/are not even aware how blatant it is, because clearly she thought he just fancied her at the time, all teenagers think they look and act older and cooler than they do, hence asking for Mattie’s opinion as she’s not one, put your shoes back on and finish your drink like you’re doing your best to be less sober and therefore an iconic ballerina]

Mattie: [genuinely think about it and shake your head after a minute ‘no, I don’t think so’ because some people look super younger than they are and we don’t think you were or are giving that, honestly, we also like to think we wouldn’t have thought you were so quite so pretty otherwise but that’s a guilty thought we’re not sharing out loud, have the rest of your drink, even though there was no need for you to try and keep pace]

Fi: [‘he’ll live another day to serve another overpriced [whatever the cool rich girl drink of the moment was when you were like 15-17 and he was your fave], in blissful ignorance of his narrow escape’ with a shrug like lucky you sir like Mattie was gonna go fuck him up for being a nonce, cos she clearly has form for helping you sort that form teacher who was a bully out, though less dramatically, noticing her lipstick mark on this glass when Mattie drinks out of it again to finish and making a face like oh I’m gonna have to go waste time in the bathroom touching that up again and cba, but dragging her with you cos that’ll make it bearable]

Mattie: [putting up your fists like yeah, I know, I’m very fearsome lol but we truly would have gone down there and shook that man to his core accusing him of things and we all know it, we don’t play about this school and these kids ‘won’t get either of the girls’ quieter but Fi will still be able to hear, ‘cos we know neither twin is off down the pub or going anywhere and we are WORRIED about their lack of socializing honey, happily go and have a bathroom moment, touching our hair like I’m sure some of that has flown out with that wild dance break, having a quick check neither twin or anyone else is in the loos when you get in there, nothing worse than getting caught talking about someone, even if it is with concern]

Fi: [touching Mattie’s arm the way she touched hers when she was genuinely concerned about her being homesick because we see her twin concern and we get it ‘I barely had to talk her into bringing me’ because Fi is that won’t take no for an answer bitch but we’re saying this was actually Dolly’s idea and she clearly has kept in touch too it’s not just Fi being one sided and extra, doing an exaggerated mouth close like it was all her, I promise, but you can style it out into re-applying your lipstick as well so]

Mattie: [making a noise like oh, I know ‘I’m really glad you’re here’ because it is clear progress for Dolly and shows she has it in her, tapping our forehead with the palm of our hand like oh ‘I already said that, didn’t I?’ like how GLAD can I be? Be in this mirror sorting out your hair so you have something to do that isn’t just watching her ‘It’s just typical you weren’t in her year’ like she could do with some company day to day now but shrugging because you can’t force it for either of them at their age]

Fi: [‘for Doll’s sake is different than how you said it before’ like it’s FINE don’t worry you aren’t repeating yourself I know you were glad to see me for your own sake at first ‘I, meanwhile, could go on and on about how I’d kill for more time’ because you miss school however much you’re enjoying uni and some of that is definitely missing Mattie which she has already said]

Mattie: [just smiling at her through this mirror because we’re not going to deny it, we know what we said and why we said it ‘I wonder if anyone actually feels ready or they’re just good liars’ because we felt the same when we went to Uni hence we went very close by so we could stay home like that ‘have you found enough new friends to fill a plague pit?’ nudging into her back with your shoulder, gently and after she’s finished with the lippy so that doesn’t go awry]

Fi: [‘when you’ve had more leavers you’ll be able to conduct thorough research’ as if she’s gonna do a poll, but really just acknowledging what my boo said before about how new Mattie is at this and also how there really isn’t a big age gap between them ‘enough that when we hold hands for ring a ring o roses and all fall down it blocks everyone’s route to lectures for a solid minute, at a guess’ because defs feel like you’ve made lots of friends quick, you are that bitch and you’d throw yourself into it, but putting her head on Mattie’s shoulder because nevertheless it isn’t the same and is an adjustment]

Mattie: [‘it’s horrible’ ‘cos we are that bitch to get emotional every time a year leaves, even though you know you gotta let them fly the nest and move on, god bless lol; just putting your arm around her and then stroking her hair ‘you’ll miss this time one day before you know it’ because true, it’ll fly and then you’ll have that nostalgia to live with as well ‘you’re doing amazingly’ because we don’t doubt it, with the social side of Uni which is arguably more important and the actual course]

Fi: [‘if that’s a heads up not to put myself through it, you’re right on time’ because thinking about becoming a teacher herself fr already, we know, but smiling because we also know that hasn’t changed her mind really ‘I’ll miss this moment specifically, I know it’ literally outing herself like that like right here right now is where I wanna stay forever yes true] 

Mattie: [tilting your head like hm? So yours is now resting atop hers, then snapping it up like OMG when you realise and doing your excited clapping again ‘oh, do come back to us!’ half as a joke as you put your hands on her shoulders but also not, pulling her in for a hug ‘you’ll be an incredible teacher, Fi’]

Fi: [when she’s adorable and you CANNOT cope, thank god there is nobody else in here because the hearteyes are back in FULL force at her response to the teacher career reveal ‘I’d love to, if you’ll have me’ which is what she said about uni, if they’ll have me, sounds casual but isn’t at all which is her entire vibe always, making this hug more extra than it needs to be just because she has missed her so much she can’t not ‘you told me such a similar thing on your first day as one’ cos she did and the way she’s always and instantly believed in us has this girl emosh]

Mattie: [we’re just here jumping up and down in this hug, swaying you from side to side, don’t mind us ‘who could be better?’ like you would be perfect, girl ‘you practically served as my TA that whole year, it should count towards your hours’ not us like couldn’t have done it without you, brushing your hair away from your freshly made-up lips]

Fi: [‘I’d do it all again even without your glowing recommendation at the end’ because we know she would, over and over if they could ‘like groundhog day’ never happier than in the last year, soz but it’s true]

Mattie: [‘you’re glowing’ just blurting that out then doing a little lol like back up, what I meant to say was ‘you deserve all the good things that are going to come to you, you’re just- lovely’]

Fi: [‘it isn’t the lighting in here’ shading nay’s engagement venue haha but we all remember from Dolly’s posts the bathrooms were a choice so I can ‘must be seeing you again, hearing you hype me up in the way only you do’ because who else is, not her flop fam and not her school friends who are currently scattered to the four winds fighting for their lives in that weird time after school and uni starting, or uni friends she’s had for a few months]

Mattie: [‘or the booze’ touching both her cheeks with the backs of her hands like no, you don’t have that alcohol glow yet, just lingering and stroking her cheeks, standard ‘well, you know me’ doing a shrug like it’s nbd]

Fi: [‘I know I wanted to talk to you, I’ve never started so many conversations in my life, just to not let them get started’ with her own shrug like that’s such a nbd thing to say]

Mattie: [‘you were busy’ like I know how it is, I wouldn’t be mad at you ‘and it would’ve been wrong for me to, maybe later, give you chance to settle in’ when you’re admitting you wanted to too but as a teacher, that would be weird]

Fi: [‘wrong’ when you gotta let that word sit there because you know it should feel like that but it doesn’t]

Mattie: [moving your hands down to your side and taking a step back, steadying yourself against the sink ‘you wouldn’t want your old teacher hassling you whilst you’re out there moving on’ clutching the cold porcelain of this sink to contrast how warm her skin was]

Fi: [‘you weren’t my teacher’ because true in that literal sense but also because we were friends is how we see it, then and now ‘and moving on is cold’ literally while she’s there with that cold sink ‘like you’ve done your job and now it’s over’]

Mattie: [‘you know that’s not how I see it, how I see you’ as we’re turning back to look at you]

Fi: [‘I kept busy because you’ve had a new year to settle in, and the more I did, the more there’d be to talk about, in theory, but I still couldn’t’ just blurting this out like, it’s so weird I didn’t know how to start a convo cos of how much we used to talk]

Mattie: [‘it’s okay, it’s… everything is different’ because y’all had reason and free reign to talk to each other before, now it’s a real choice, we know it]

Fi: [‘I thought I was the biggest fan of change’ because she was about it before but now this is like !!? and we’re not here for it thank you]

Mattie: [doing a sheepish smile because what can we say, we’re both feeling that !!? honey]

Fi: [just playing with a strand of hair that poor Mattie fixed not long ago, teasing it back out and letting it fall over her face again so she’s looking messy but in a cute way because here for that always]

Mattie: [blushing ‘is that better?’ like you’re purely talking about your hair and not the way you’re moving closer to her again]

Fi: [‘different’ like we’ve gotta reclaim that word from the negative it was used in a sec ago and remind ourselves change can be good it doesn’t have to suck]

Mattie: [nodding like we agree and are on board ‘different’ as if we need to repeat to remind ourself ‘you make me feel different’]

Fi: [‘I was scared I would ruin my streak’ like her being her as Dolly’s plus one wasn’t a good surprise the way they used to surprise each other she’d have to go die, cos imagine, Mattie like, you again]

Mattie: [shake your head like you definitely have not ‘I didn’t know if I’d see you again, or, not ‘til some reunion or…’ shrugging like that wasn’t a very real possibility and we weren’t okay with it]

Fi: [‘if I left it that long you wouldn’t recognise me, which would be completely and utterly bad different, for both of us’ like ew no, cannot]

Mattie: [‘what about me? I’d be an actual old lady, horrific’ like no thank you, not at all casually reaching out for her hand]

Fi: [‘no, but you’d be married, which is worse’ taking her hand and doing a pose like she’s showing a wedding ring off like that would actually be horrific and I’d die]

Mattie: [lol like to who, ma’am ‘I don’t think so’ giving her hand a playful slap with ours like nay nay]

Fi: [looking around ‘how could you not want this?’ shading nay again, soz not soz, but underneath that playful bants it’s like actually though]

Mattie: [cover your mouth like you’ll really cackle if not like oops ‘don’t diss the decor, I did this on very short notice’ like tah, sis]

Fi: [‘I wouldn’t dream of it, the decor’s fantastic, I’m this close to booking in Allegra in preparation for marriage number 3, it’s the charm, so they say, maybe it’ll be a husband we can both stand’ because her mum can’t stand her dad but she can’t stand her stepdad lol]

Mattie: [crossing our fingers on both hands like I hope so because we just want you to be happy, obviously ‘what do you think?’ and nodding your head towards the door ‘of that happy couple?’]

Fi: [lowering her voice to a whisper even though there’s no need ‘your sister is exactly how I pictured her according to your painting’ because you would’ve heard so much about Jay by this point you lowkey feel like you know her ‘he’s less what I would’ve imagined, but I try not to give grown men the amount of headspace I once did, lesson learnt, as I’ve admitted, could be why’]

Mattie: [someone could walk in but it’s not like you’re being cunty or these convos aren’t happening all over this party but I get it, we’re also talking in more hushed tones ‘they’ve been together for a long time’ which she surely knows but as if we’re justifying it here and now ‘you might have the right idea’ ‘cos none of us are sold on this or Noah but it is what it is]

Fi: [‘I know, but I assumed she’d be with someone who, superficially, could bench press both of us at the same time’ soz to drag you to filth like that Noah but Jay is sporty gym gal and that’s one of the biggest things we’ve always known about her so, and she hasn’t talked to nay long enough to be like oh it’s your personality she loves, can’t go on anything but shallow stuff rn]

Mattie: [doing a cute lol because you would assume that was her type ‘is that what your favourite bartender looked like?’ ‘cos you too are a sporty gal]

Fi: [‘it’s what my fave bouncer looked like’ because I always befriended them on nights out, in my case for if I needed help, but you just would, I feel like]

Mattie: [nod like oh yep, that tracks ‘at least he’s suited for his job’ ‘cos what is the point when they’re just fat or not remotely tough like soz it’s v much the point]

Fi: [‘whatever my opinion of them, Doll can count me as her wedding date unless she gets a better offer’ just back to the point here which is how buzzing we are to have got an invite to this, flop event though it may be]

Mattie: [making a face when you realise you’ll have a plus one place to either fill or ignore like oh GOD ‘thank god I can keep super busy’ which sounds like you don’t wanna see her and Dolly together but obviously that isn’t what we meant, swatting our hands like oh, you know what I mean]

Fi: [SUCH an amused face ‘and thank god I won’t keep you waiting until the reception to have another catch up’ cos imagine, that wedding could be forever away, some peeps wait years]

Mattie: [tapping her arm like no, you won’t ‘now the conversation has been started’ like it’ll be easier from here on out]

Fi: [‘when we next stall I can take you out for [whatever the cocktail she just drank was]’ not you admitting it’s still kinda awks and y’all might need to get drunk about it to deal with this sapphic tension] 

Mattie: [‘we won’t’ shaking our head so more of our hair comes loose, refusing to acknowledge it could be awkward like nope ‘but I do owe you a proper drink’]

Fi: [playing with said loose hair for no reason whatsoever ‘I owe you your own escort, and my full attention’ because technically here for your sister even though it’s too easy for you both to forget that rn in here]

Mattie: [‘you take it very seriously’ like I remember and you’re very gentlemanly 😌 face before you’re looking at the door like we should probably get back in there]

Fi: [when you see her look towards that door and you go to say something but you only get ‘Mattie-’ out, note the first time she’s used her name this convo though, before someone comes into this bathroom and you don’t wanna finish whatever gay thing you were about to say, so yeah, go out and find Dolly again hun]

Mattie: [the ? on our face before this person rudely interrupts to go to the toilet, it is probably someone you vaguely know so you might have to stay and have a little chat before so let this girl go, however begrudgingly it is]

Fi: [soz Win but it’s a realistic cockblock and you have gotta go back to Dolly anyways, girl, so do that and do your best not to be gutted af]

Mattie: [and you gotta do some more mingling girl, keep this party ticking over for your sins]

Fi: [nobody’s living for the nay engagement but the party doesn’t have to be a total bust just because they are flops]

Mattie: [at least you can get these gals mocktails to enjoy and Gabe whatever he’s been drinking with Lulu because can’t do one and not the other]

Fi: [just know that you are not welcome though Gabe, ever, but it means you can raise your glass at this girl across the room like ty so that’s nice, we like that, even if you blatantly wish it was a cocktail, Fi, you’re being a good friend]

Mattie: [we could have cheated but I think Dolly would know and you are being a good friend, we don’t want to derail you that hard, and we definitely do not like Gabe but at least Lulu is socialising when he’s around so we kind of just put up with him for that sake at this point but there’s no love lost; do your little toast back with the drink you got yourself, not at all romantic just silently communicating across a crowded room, alright taylor]

Fi: [god just take a second to actually think what a dry party this would be because of the age of the peeps mostly being fam like the literal grandparents and Java, and no offence how boring nay are, you really are being a good friend here Fi, I would simply not attend if someone asked me and that was the situation, soz, I fully imagine you and Dolly exploring this venue trying to find anything vaguely interesting or fun to do, we’re all praying for like a giant lawn connect 4 at this point lol]

Mattie: [thank god there is catching up to be done because truly, there’s nothing here for y’all, idek who this party is for lmao, everyone entertain yourselves lowkey, we’ll just be here trying to get Jay to come talk to the twins so they feel included and like there was a reason to bring them here tonight]

Fi: [at least if we say she do, they’ll all be dying, but it’ll bring you 2 back together because Fi literally doesn’t know anyone so she’d be alone else while that awks twin and Jay convo is occurring]

Mattie: [like we’d probably have to do it one by one ‘cos lord knows none of you gals are helping us here but when Jay is making awkward small-talk with Dolly, deffo]

Fi: [soz to throw you under the boring Jay sized bus there Dolly but, I suppose it’s good that she’s vaguely trying to have a catch up with you, agonising as it will be, Fi return the favour and hand Mattie a v alcoholic drink you can tell she needs to deal with how awkward and hard work trying to organise that was]

Mattie: [should Mattie have to encourage you to? No but it’s something, as you are an adult hun; shooting her a look as you take this drink and then your first sip because yeah, we truly need it because Jay is the exact same amount related to these gals as you are and hasn’t put in half the effort, which is like, yeah, your decision but being in the middle of that is a lot ‘aren’t you glad you only have the one little brother?’ raising our brows like these sisters, my god]

Fi: [when you’re just automatically leading her somewhere that you found while you were exploring with Dolly before so Mattie can literally get away from this and have a break because she never gets one and these twins are a lot to be dealing with basically by yourself and all of this Fi has known from basically the beginning cos no secret the gals are weird, Dolly less so obvs hence y’all are legit friends now, but still ‘for all Allegra’s many faults, I can be glad he’s just my little brother, and yeah, I am’ because your mum for all she put on you in terms of pressure at least isn’t making you do more for your little bro than any standard big sister would and you shamelessly are thankful for that]

Mattie: [rich girl perks, you’re not ever going to be needing to look after your siblings like second parents, there’s staff and good schools for that, nodding and sitting yourself down on the floor, wherever y’all are so you can take this moment properly ‘brothers are easier, whatever age’]

Fi: [nod because you feel like you’ve had a lot of sisters with the way your school was set up to make you really look after the younger ones ‘I won’t miss feeling like I’ve got [however many] sisters’ but with a smile because you loved it really, unlike this situation poor Mattie is in]

Mattie: [smile back ‘yeah, right’ ‘cos we know you loved it, before the bathroom heart to heart even we knew that much ‘some sisters are easier than others’ like namely the ones I’m not actually related to lol]

Fi: [‘you’ve had some rotten luck, hence the nobody could call it playing safe drink in your hand’ because where’s the lie, Chlo is also your mum, soz Mattie we’ve really put you through it, girl, and this girl here isn’t gonna sugarcoat it] 

Mattie: [do a little lol about how blunt that is but you’re not at all offended because not that type, again taking another sip but purposely taking a bigger gulp like you’re confirming it, like to point out that she would also have 2 younger siblings assuming we’ve got the Java kids we faced so like, wild times lol ‘if I turn this into a pity party though the night is well and truly over’ like we cannot]

Fi: [‘well then, I’ll have to think of how I’m going to turn it back into a party, party’ with that mischievous look back in her eye again, because who is she if not this bitch, hence Dolly invited her to help her have an actually good time]

Mattie: [‘what did you have in mind?’ looking around as if something wild is just going to pop out of nowhere]

Fi: [‘you like to follow clues, I’ll leave some for you’ not this girl just about to set up some kind of spontaneous little treasure hunt moment at the drop of a literal hat like it’s nbd]

Mattie: [shaking your head like oh, okay because who even ‘do I stay here or?’]

Fi: [‘it doesn’t matter, as long as you stay out of my way while I set up the first’ a smile as she messes up Mattie’s hair playfully, which we all know is a clue in itself for her to go back to the bathroom and start there for this first clue, which we likewise all know will be a lipstick message on the mirror because DUH, obvs we’re gonna hark back across their entire relationship with these clues, tonight included]

Mattie: [checking the watch we don’t have on like okay, ready set go energy, waving her off and covering her eyes like we’re not even checking which direction she’s going in even though we picked up on that clue to go to the bathroom in a suitable time]

Fi: [just getting to be the most gay and feelsy of all time with every single clue, god bless, enjoy your trip down memory lane gals, I can only speculate wildly because we don’t know y’all like that after one convo, but the point is clearly to cheer her up and the final clue is blatantly inviting her somewhere after this engagement party is dead and buried because we know it won’t be a late one, Jay doesn’t drink any more and is a gym bitch, I’m sure she has to get up early in the AM even after her engagement party]

Mattie: [we love to see it and are obviously having the greatest time, no need to know y’all to know that much and are definitely going to accept this offer because duh]

Fi: [Dolly will be invited too, of course, so we’ll have to decide if we want her there or not because two very different moods depending if she is or it’s just you two, but either way, I’m just happy the slay outfits won’t be wasted on this boring function]

Mattie: [my boo says I will save the day and the looks, but yes those would be two entirely different vibes at this point so we’d need to pick, ‘cos we’re probably already a little too tipsy to feel comfortable subjecting Dolly to it]

Fi: [we can always do the copout but quite legit vibe that she’s invited but declines because she’s not feeling wherever Fi has decided they’re going, let y’all be gay alone]

Mattie: [I think so, it’s obviously not your scene Dolly and you aren’t in the mood to be in a club with more drunk people or whatever so pop off gays]

Fi: [I don’t blame her, being the sober one on a night out sucks, even if you’re the most sober of the group never mind completely so, but again, cute and nice that you invited her Fi, despite how blatantly you’re hoping she wouldn’t want to actually which is reflected, subconsciously or otherwise, in your choice of venue, you can say it’s cos Mattie’s got her dancing shoes on, which true, but it’s also cos y’all do wanna be alone]

Mattie: [it is very in character of you to dip, not just us or this gal subconsciously being cheeky, it’s cool, soz it does serve us more for them to be alone and it is shamelessly what both these girls would prefer]

Fi: [do you wanna skip to there or should we do some messages when Mattie gets the last clue and accepts her invite?]

Mattie: [let’s do some messages, why not, you’re invariably back with Dolly chilling and we’re lowkey tipsy and overexcited by these shenanigans so]

Mattie: 💌📌💃☁️

Fi: I should’ve made them harder, I can’t believe you’re done

Mattie: Just call me Marple 🔎

Mattie: your own skills are also severely limited by location

Fi: wow, not Jane? I thought we were friends

Fi: my own skills are rusty, you can say it

Mattie: I see my own future as an Aunt Mattie and I am not prepared for that 🧶🌱👩‍🦳

Mattie: I would never say that

Fi: you would never have an affair with a married man, book Marple is closer to your predicted future

Fi: but knitting and gardening are both fun, you could fare much worse

Mattie: the only married men I know are [and list off the male teachers that are and are clearly not the ones, soz huns] 

Mattie: 🤭

Fi: there’s hope for you yet, miss

Fi: and with such a long career ahead before trowels and knitting needles, who knows who you’ll meet 

Mattie: I understand why teachers were always unmarried women

Mattie: who am I going to meet when my free time is Sunday 😅

Mattie: sounds positively Victorian

Fi: Agatha Christie wouldn’t write you in a new chaplain love interest, but if I’m in charge of the narrative and location, we needn’t be limited at all

Mattie: University is the time for those sorts of adventures, we should be talking about your love interests, potential or already realised

Fi: no we shouldn’t, I’d have to curl up and die, now that’s positively Victorian

Mattie: now I thought we were friends

Fi: we are, thus I’m sparing you the tale of quite how vigorously I attempted to throw myself into that aspect of uni life

Mattie: it’s okay it’s a cliche for a reason

Fi: it’s embarrassing for a multitude of reasons 😬

Mattie: I was a little bit your teacher, then

Fi: no, I don’t care what they think of me, success story or horror show, that part of my life is over

Fi: you don’t belong in there though, and I do care

Mattie: okay, I understand

Mattie: I wouldn’t judge you though, as long as you know that

Fi: I feel stupid, for the kid in a sweet shop approach

Mattie: it’s your first taste of proper freedom, being adult about it is basically impossible

Fi: I had freedom, a lot more than most

Mattie: Lack of an audience, then

Mattie: everyone here knew you, your mother

Fi: every summer spent with my dad afforded me the luxury of the most cliche holiday romance going, had I wanted

Mattie: of course

Fi: but it’s uni that’s the culture shock, and it does feel like a culture, of throwing yourself at everyone

Mattie: if you don’t want to, you don’t have to continue like that, it calms down, most people do

Fi: thank god, a non-stop three year long speed dating event would be exhausting

Mattie: just

Mattie: don’t necessarily go the other way and think that’s automatically a better idea, you know what I mean

Fi: I won’t let you down, I’d hate to

Mattie: why would you let me down?

Fi: I know why I’m here, I’m not allowed to suddenly become boring 🧶🌱👩‍🦳

Mattie: that’s not what I meant

Mattie: I had a very serious boyfriend throughout Uni and I really shouldn’t have, for a myriad of reasons, that’s all I was thinking of

Fi: promising not to get a serious boyfriend’s an easy one

Mattie: you’re allowed to do whatever makes you happy

Mattie: make your own mistakes, even, don’t let me harp on about mine to scare you

Fi: I’m not scared of anything you want to tell me, you’re allowed too

Mattie: I’ve never really talked about him, I try not to

Fi: if you want to, I’ll only track him down and kill him as a very last resort, don’t let it put you off

Mattie: whilst I’m sure your methods would be entirely and gruesomely historically accurate 

Mattie: you’re meant to use all that free time between lectures to study, you know 😉

Fi: no one can begrudge me a field trip to a medieval torture museum, it’s the hols 📌🌎🛫

Mattie: quite right too

Mattie: he was, in hindsight, someone I wouldn’t want any of my friends to go out with

Mattie: but I didn’t realise it wasn’t a me problem at the time, that’s all

Fi: oh Mattie 

Mattie: but he’s long gone, we don’t need to worry about this

Mattie: the final straw was when I took the placement at the school

Fi: just when I thought I couldn’t be any more glad that happened

Mattie: it’s why I had to work there, not that I put that on my application, or talked about how the placement saved me in my interview

Mattie: all a bit much… but he could no longer monopolise my time, control me and where I went, it was like the spell was broken after that

Fi: I can also easily promise not to relay it to your bosses, ancient history doesn’t automatically mean I’ll become obsessed

Mattie: No one knows, only [the teacher you did your training with aka your bestie], unavoidably so as she was there through the whole mess

Fi: What about your family?

Mattie: it would be too upsetting, to think I didn’t know better, and he was always very nice in front of everyone else, doting, even

Fi: deserving of [just namedropping the most horrific medieval torture device possible]

Fi: I’m sorry you had to go through everything he put you through and come out of the other side alone

Mattie: thank you, it’s all okay now

Mattie: and I suppose it was my choice to be alone, I don’t know

Fi: choice is too hard on yourself, he must’ve made you feel like you didn’t have another

Mattie: it was shame, really

Mattie: how we were was my fault because I’d never had a proper partner before so I didn’t know how to be

Mattie: then after, well, it was shaming in another way entirely

Fi: it wasn’t your fault he took advantage of your inexperience and used it to his

Mattie: I know that now, therapists work wonders

Mattie: I promise I didn’t come into teaching entirely unhinged, whatever the kitsch coffee mugs suggest about needing a certain level of insanity to do the job

Fi: you’re the most level-headed person I know

Mattie: you wouldn’t have thought that if you met me at your age, or even the year before you did…

Mattie: people can get a little off track, at Uni, in those in-between years

Fi: had I met you then, if we were the same age, he wouldn’t have lasted long enough to do any lasting damage

Fi: I wouldn’t have allowed it

Mattie: I believe that

Mattie: you’re very strong

Mattie: not physically, though you are, obviously

Fi: stubborn, perhaps

Mattie: that too

Mattie: but strong

Fi: I’m feeling strong waves of regret about any jokes I may have made which aren’t funny in light of what you’ve shared

Mattie: don’t, you weren’t to know

Mattie: no one does, as I said, and I preferred it that way whilst I worked it all out in my head… maybe I’ll change my mind now I feel better but I still don’t think I want to make it some grand proclamation 

Mattie: change how people see me, what they think they can say

Fi: all understandable, but I’ll be here kicking myself for a while anyway

Mattie: grr

Fi: no matchmaking, tonight or ever, I refuse to put my 👠 back in it

Mattie: but you have put them back on

Fi: [not you sending her free feet pics of them back off like no no]

Mattie: 🥳 will you be drunk enough to learn more ballet later

Fi: letting you drink alone is as unforgivable as making Doll be sober alone, I wouldn’t dream of either

Mattie: I am a little drunk, it must be said

Fi: I’ll catch up at [wherever they’re going] while you’re 🩰

Mattie: will I get in in what I’m wearing?

Fi: unlike bartenders, I’ve kept fave bouncers everywhere, you’ll Chaseé ? in

Mattie: 👏

Mattie: very good

Fi: you’re a good teacher

Fi: who knew?

Mattie: please pass the message on to all relevant bosses

Fi: sadly the deadline has passed for my Christmas round-robin but I’ll see what I can do if I see any of them in the new year

Mattie: I can only imagine the details you would have included

Fi: I’ll put you on the list again now I know you want to hear from me

Mattie: as if I wouldn’t

Fi: I wasn’t certain, or I’d have reached out

Mattie: now you know 🔮

Fi: Dolly says Lulu’s been keeping you busy in my absence

Mattie: ah yes, that is true

Fi: your protectiveness makes even more sense given what happened to you

Mattie: I’m sure Lulu would think me an absolute fool for it

Fi: she thinks everyone a fool, it’s barely personal at this point

Fi: I’ve never seen someone look at their invited guest, who they chose to bring, and date, with such open disdain 

Mattie: 🤭

Mattie: at least it means I don’t have to worry about her being under his spell or anything of the sort

Fi: the reversal, maybe, but I’m not worried for him, he’s visibly old enough to look after himself 🧔🏼

Mattie: he’s [however old he is in comparison, I forget]

Fi: of course, she loves to push a boundary as far as is still considered socially acceptable

Mattie: now now

Mattie: you know he was the only age appropriate boy around

Fi: age appropriate is debatable, just because he can grow a beard doesn’t equate to his emotional maturity being high enough to deal with your sister’s, let’s call it emotional instability

Mattie: let’s not call it anything

Fi: okay, sorry, not cool of me, she’s your sister

Mattie: I know she isn’t the easiest person to relate to

Fi: and we both know I’ve made multiple attempts, but there’s no excuse to be calling her out, she doesn’t have to like me, I’m not Head Girl these days

Mattie: as you said, it isn’t personal

Fi: as I said, I’m sorry 😶

Mattie: you’re fine, I promise

Fi: you don’t want to tell me off is all, you’re too good at it

Mattie: I’m sure you could think up better ways to earn it

Fi: true, if I thought hard, something would absolutely come to me

Mattie: think think think 🤔

Fi: 🍯🐝🎈

Mattie: I love him 🥰

Fi: he’s that sort of bear, how could you not

Mattie: You’re very tigger

Fi: eventually you’re gonna have to admit defeat on me not having adhd

Mattie: omg stop it! 😆

Mattie: it sounds like I make a commission on Adderall 

Fi: you’ve shared one secret, go ahead, unburden yourself of your others

Mattie: how dare you accuse me of being a pill pusher

Mattie: I don’t even take aspirin unless the headache is very, very bad, I’ll have you know

Fi: you stop it, you’re adorable

Mattie: you’re bouncy, there should be a bouncy ball emoji, is there

Mattie: there are too many to look through these days 👩‍🦳

Fi: you’re tipsy, that’s why there’s too many to look through

Mattie: no, I’m old, maybe I need glasses, you can help me find a chic pair

Fi: you’re 22

Mattie: and you’re 19

Fi: you look the same age as me

Mattie: how was your birthday?

Fi: I don’t know, different, good and bad

Mattie: did you get a cake?

Fi: [show her the pics because really not long ago so not hard to scroll to and find, clearly not a patch on anything this gal has ever baked for you though]

Fi: I missed it not being from you 👩‍🍳

Mattie: I made so many mince pies before hols 😮‍💨

Mattie: I didn’t do stars on top though

Fi: I see what you’re doing, making me cry because you’re not my form tutor, it’s unacceptable nevertheless

Mattie: no don’t cry it’s because I’d cry if I did

Fi: I know that, it’s why I have to

Mattie: your makeup will be ruined

Fi: but I’ll be in the right place to re-do it, when I can stop 😭

Mattie: are you alone?

Fi: hopefully, or whoever’s in here with me will assume I’m very drunk and a wreck

Mattie: that can be me, if you want

Fi: I always want you around

Mattie: it would’ve been rude to not check, what with the 😭

Fi: you’ve seen it before, my last day I was an actual wreck, and in floods

Mattie: not because of me

Mattie: [the bad teacher] should be every bit ashamed as I think she is now

Fi: it isn’t really your fault

Mattie: [come in because how long does it really need to take you to get here, not long, bathroom doors are always loud so our ‘a little bit, maybe’ shouldn’t frighten you to death lol]

Fi: [‘I’m only crying a little bit’ as this girl wipes her eyes like oh hello to you, don’t mind me here actually crying because of all my feelings]

Mattie: [when she has wiped her eyes, come forward and grab her hand and give it a squeeze ‘it’s okay’ doing a little lol ‘what’s a party if no one cries, eh?’]

Fi: [doing your own little lol ‘it’s not my party’ like how ridiculous and hilarious that I’m the one crying ‘though, lord knows I would were I getting married off’ because no thank you, sounds like Noah shade again and it is lowkey but also just in general because 19]

Mattie: [‘I doubt we’ll catch the bride to be’ and pulling a face because that is clearly not who Jay is at all ‘so take your fill’ like it’s going free honey, pulling an equally GOD NO face and then loling some more because same on both counts tbh]

Fi: [catching a look at herself in the mirror and pulling her own face like ugh why me though because didn’t wanna be here doing this but we are, crying a lil bit more about the fact like great I’m this bitch now love that for me, but also loling at her GOD NO face]

Mattie: [giving her a hug because you want to but also so she doesn’t feel like you’re gawping at her whilst she cries ‘I cry all the time’ like tis true, not saying this like I’m a depressed bitch vibe we’re just an emotional sort of bean]

Fi: [‘I usually don’t but I-’ again stopping yourself saying whatever gay thing you were going to say, despite the fact this hug couldn’t be more gay how you’re returning it]

Mattie: [‘you’re stuck at a terrible party because you’re a good person?’ not us admitting how hard it sucks lol]

Fi: [shaking her head ‘I’ve honestly been to parties which ranked higher on the scale towards complete bust, you don’t need to feel like a bad sister’ because true, you definitely have, for many reasons, and also that isn’t why you’re crying and we all know it]

Mattie: [sighing like thanks but ‘I almost always do anyway’ the work you put in for the lack of pay-off, soz girly]

Fi: [‘oh Mattie’ hugging her tighter because what can you say, we all know it isn’t her fault but you don’t wanna shade her sisters again like you did earlier ‘you’re an amazing sister’ because you’ve seen it with your own eyes how hard she tries always]

Mattie: [just hug it out gals like this isn’t risky business or anything ‘you smell nice’ and sniffing the top of her head and then her neck to see if it’s more shampoo or perfume]

Fi: [gonna say it’s perfume because what else are you bringing in that big red bag, plus then you can get it out and spray it on her, how intimate and how gay, plus sniff her back because perfume smells different on different people, so you can also comment on that somehow, like oh it smells more like such and such on you vibes]

Mattie: [just doing the little twirl you do through a perfume cloud and then hugging said scent to yourself so you can fully breathe it in casually before turning back to her like now, come here, gently cleaning up any makeup that had been smudged]

Fi: [when you’d be so used to other girls doing your makeup because boarding school but it’s her so you’re just here DYING inside casually, opening your mouth to say something, but either you don’t know what to say or you’re scared of ruining this moment, so you just breathe, lowkey a sigh]

Mattie: [meanwhile we’re here not daring to breathe because so into being this intimate with you we’re afraid what we might do if we make any sort of sudden move, yet we’re still touching your lips like your lipstick needs patting into place when I doubt it’s gone that awry]

Fi: [feeling for said lipstick and handing it to her without looking down because likewise barely dare or want to move but do want to linger in this moment by letting her reapply it for us unnecessarily]

Mattie: [putting it on our lips first, without looking away from her to look in the mirror, slowly circling the entirety of both lips, slowly, pouting them out for the full effect, before gently tilting her head up towards the light to apply hers ‘so pretty’ just under our breath, casually as if it remotely is]

Fi: [thank god there is nobody in here because she’s STARING at this scene like Mattie is doing something pornographic, could not be more into it, catch this girl with her lips parted way before she even needs to do it for her own lipstick application purposes, it’s just the affect this is having on her nbd, likewise catch her blushing when she has no choice but to hear that because proximity]

Mattie: [when her reaction has you wanting to push this desperately, to do more and show her more, gently using your bodyweight to push her up onto the counter of this sink moment, as if you need her sat to do this properly ‘prettiest girl’ at the same volume but your voice is shamelessly hoarser, really doing the most you can with said lipstick to push her lips apart how you want to]

Fi: [it’s the sigh hitting completely different now for me, because DUH, not okay about any of this in the best way, literally having to bite her lip so it doesn’t turn into an even more blatant sound all together and also to give her more work to do, because again simply must prolong this]

Mattie: [without thinking, smearing this lipstick across her mouth with your fingers when she bites her lip ‘bad girl’ like she ruined it that hard but really you just wanted to and now you have even more work to do when you can concentrate]

Fi: [pressing her back so hard against the wall in a way that would have to be obvious but if she doesn’t she’ll move forward and do something even more BLATANT at what this gal just said because !! this feels like a fantasy you’ve had but you know it’s really happening because you’re not even tipsy yet, at least you can pretend you’re doing some etiquette style good girl posture to try and make this easier for her and your amends, including crossing her ankles like a lady sits, again not at all because you’re dying, nope]

Mattie: [putting the cap on this lipstick with a satisfying click because not in the mood to fix this or anything currently, folding our arms and taking a step back like we’re appraising you but obviously we’ve had similar fantasies and are taking this moment in for all its worth, taking hold of your knees and yanking your legs apart unceremoniously, which is FINE because you’re wearing trousers, standing closer to you again in the gap we’ve just created]

Fi: [getting her name out of our mouth like she did earlier before they were rudely interrupted by someone but x 100000 with how her voice obvs sounds about this, but having to close her eyes when this gal is in this close proximity to us again because CANNOT cope actually]

Mattie: [doing a little gasp at hearing your name said like that, by her, playing with the necklaces she has on, pulling them tighter and looser ‘round the back of her neck, whilst in her ear but closer than we ever were out in the party ‘tell me, Fi’]

Fi: [when you literally have goosebumps from her gasp before she’s even touched you, nbd, and are literally trying to disappear into this wall when she does so as not to make any dramatic moves ‘I can’t’ her voice catching before and as she says this, like excuse me I literally cannot, doing the most dramatic swallow as if that’ll fix how impossible speaking is]

Mattie: [tracing your finger across the goosebumps on display which is really just her neck and slightly down her chest ‘okay’ really quietly and after quite a while of doing this, creating goosebumps on goosebumps, I’m sure, before gently pulling her down via your hands around her waist and then letting her go, opening the lipstick again to rub away the mess you made and reapply, yet again]

Fi: [looking at her the most 🥺 anyone ever has while all this is occurring, lowkey trembling with the !! of not reacting any other way, until she accidentally licks her lips during this lipstick reapplication, soz and the ‘fuck’ escapes like oh no, in such a !! manner ‘excuse my language, miss’ in trying to be a bants way but this moment is too charged for that to land anything other than flirty af]

[zhuhongs]

i'm thinking of moving to taiwan after college, how has it been treating you? a lot of people i know who did move to taiwan only talk about how hard the language is (even if they're taiwanese 🥲) but i wanna now how like, your everyday life is!

oooo, that sounds so exciting, wherever you end up i hope you enjoy it! But yea, so I live just outside of Taipei in New Taipei but New Taipei is actually huge and there are many parts of New taipei that are like super far from Taipei proper and are pretty hard to live in without a having a scooter or car. I'm assuming you've been to taiwan before if you think you want to move there but ya never know! I tbh knew very little abt taiwan before coming here but yea. Just giving you an idea of where I live and that i can't speak for all of Taiwan, just my area thats just outside of taipei but still served by their metro system (which is honestly super dope, shout out to the MRT).

So like I overall love living here sm, I'd love to live here someday for work or smth and not just studying abroad. The transportation is amazing, the nature is. so lovely. Like tbh no matter where I am in the city I am no more than 10 km away from the river or the mountains and everything is so green and nice. However in order to be so green all the time, taipei is very rainy and very humid. Legit my hair was such a nightmare when i got here, if you are from a dry climate, you will notice so many changes. Like my skin is rlly nice bc of the moisture, but my hair was unmanageable so i chopped it off. But I also have was less allergies now. If youre originally from a humid climate it should be nbd.

My daily life is honestly pretty easy. I live in a dorm so I didn't have to deal with things like speaking to a landlord or finding someone who would rent to me, or having to deal with utility bills, or dealing with the semi confusing garbage disposal system. But, I do know ppl that did have to do these things and speak way less chinese than I do and were just fine. Honestly, ppl say that you can live in the Taipei area without speaking chinese and be just fine bc most ppl speak english. Tbh idk how anyone does that, I rarely speak to anyone in english here but I think thats bc I always try speaking chinese first. Most people can speak a decent amount but unless you speak to them in english first theyll speak in chinese. I feel like most things you can learn just by living your daily life and learning high frequency words and when all else fails use google translate. But honestly, my life is very easy and pleasant. If I'm hungry I can easily go to a food stall or grocery store or convenience store near where I live. If I really don't want to leave the house, I can order food with a reasonable delivery fee (well reasonable to me, ik food prices are going up here).

Personally, I find that making friends here is pretty hard, but I'm not a very social person and find it hard to start conversations with ppl idk, and most taiwanese people don't talk to you if you don't talk to them, so this might be hard. But I feel like everyone is very friendly for the most part its just kinda finding the chances to make friends is rare if you aren't working or going to classes or know someone here already.

But overall yea no taiwan is a great place to live, there's a lot of things I'm gonna miss abt taiwan when i go home but somethings in my home country are hard to find here. Some of the traditional taiwanese food isn't bad, but not like my cup of tea, but you can find a lot here. It's just that most like foreign cuisine is more expensive or geared towards the locals so its not very authentic. I def miss hispanic food and some foods are hard to recreate here bc of lack of ingredients but taiwanese food is also very nice. Some dishes may look boring but are actually very good. I hope you like living in taiwan if you end up living here!

#this got rlly long so imma do a tldr of the things abt taiwan i'm gonna miss when i get home #1. the nature. the riverside parks... dude.... riding a bike by the river is like a hundred percent must do pasttime... i'm gonna miss it #so bad. #2. the beverages... are so good and so cheap... to get a decent fruit tea in the US is like 5 dollars. here it is 2 dollars and tastes #better.... like... omg... gonnamiss the beverages #3. convenience stores... esp the onigiri. and the hot tea... you cant get decent hot tea anywhere in the us!! you can't #its always iced and sugary or if it is hot its overseeped and disgusting #4. food stands. the convenience of it all. also like. no one sells diguaqiu near me in the us... imma miss those. and the #scallion pancake stall near my house. and oa tsian/hezi jian #5. the transportation... i hate car dominated communites... everything needs to be walkable... #asks #anon