#( 'cos I need to like focus on other blogs )

[bhaalswn]

Steps in here awkwardly--- hello

#[ OOC ] ── * MUN ( 𝘪 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘤𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘢 ) #( I returned-- 'cos TECHNICALLY I plan on coming back ) #( 'cos I need to like focus on other blogs ) #( but y'know-- hyperfocus took me. in a chokehold. threw me in the trunk of a car ) #( you know how it goes )

[rinhaler]

I Guess I Can't State My Feelings Too Soon

Your big brother is jealous and he hates himself for it :(

✧˖*°࿐: 18+ only, no minors.    ✧. ┊ step brother!taiju shiba x f!reader

Genre: porn! (minimal plot) Notes: my first tokyorev fic since i moved blogs wheeee did NOT think it would be taiju but i cannot stop thinking about that man Warnings: 18+, fem!reader, stepcest!, jealousy ♡, possessiveness, co-dependency, virgin!reader, male masturbation ♡, sex toys ♡, porn consumption, panty theft ♡, unhealthy relationship, power dynamics. Words: 3.5k

He often wonders if you realise how ungrateful you come across, sometimes. Not only ungrateful, but disrespectful to boot.

Do you know how hard your big brother works? You’ll say you do, if he were to ask. But he’s sure you have no idea. He shielded you from the horrors of his world as you were thrust upon him out of nowhere. His new, beautiful step-sister who’s eyes would spill tears around raised voices. What choice did he have? You’d never understand or be able to comprehend his way of life or the world he had built for himself and his family.

As your other siblings grew up and drifted away, Taiju kept you dependent on him. He made it so you had to rely on him for everything. He’s putting you through fashion school while subsidizing your very existence. He keeps you fed and clothed all in the comfort of his beautiful penthouse.

You want for nothing.

And he’s never made you feel inadequate for your obvious dependency.

He doesn’t use it as a weapon or hold it against you. He just adores you, wholly. His beautiful little sister, the sweet little darling who needs her big brother to do everything for her. It motivates him, truthfully. When things feel hard, mundane, tedious, he reminds himself who he’s doing it for.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Takashi.” you smile, giddily, waving like a schoolgirl with a crush as you watch him leave.

He waves, too. A wide grin on his face as his eyes scrunch up with joy. It soon fades, though, as he finds himself accidentally walking right into your brother’s chest. Taiju’s expression harrows, though you don’t register it as you focus on the way Takashi smiles at you before excusing himself.

You’re ungrateful, and disrespectful.

His neck and jaw jerk as he tears off his tie. He’s visibly irritated, but you’re too naïve to realise. You greet him, excitedly, though you’re soon left feeling dejected when he opts to ignore you instead.

“Get me some wine from the cellar.” he demands. Without a please or even a glance in your direction, you know something is wrong. You’ve never been one to deny him, however, slinking away to the lounge to retrieve an aged red from the wall-built cellar.

He looks at you when you return, sliding the bottle to him across the marble countertop of the kitchen island separating you. It’s a brief look, that makes your heart throb with hurt. He’s mad at you, but you don’t know why. Soft yellow eyes that only offer gentle glances are showing you a side to your brother you didn’t know existed.

His pupils are almost slitted like a wild animal, eyes you’ve never seen before where your brother is concerned. He sighs, watching the cogs clank in your brain as you try and analyse who this man is before you.

Luckily for you, he doesn’t think he’s capable of staying angry with you.

“Would you like a drink, little sister?” he questions. It stops you from thinking, momentarily.

It’s a first. He’s never let you drink before, let alone his prized cellar wine. You take a seat on the bar stool regardless, nodding excitedly at the prospect of having your first real drink with your favourite brother. He twists off the lid and slides the glass he’d gotten for himself over to you.

Your heart rate quickens as his eyes, those same, predatory eyes, remain fixated on you as he pours. The wine spills like blood, sloshing into your glass until it’s halfway full. And somehow, without even watching what he’s doing, he managed to not spill a drop.

He takes off his blazer and sets it down on the counter. You watch him as he rolls up his sleeves and turns away from you to fetch another glass for himself. His muscles flex and you see his exposed, veiny arms sheen with sweat as he reaches up to grab the nearest glass.

“Pour it for me.” he tells you, setting it down as he turns to face you again. His eyes seem tired, now, but still unfamiliar to you. And so you find yourself nodding, doing exactly what your big brother has asked as your hairline begins to form beads of sweat.

You don’t look at him, not even briefly, as you start to pour. You’re slow and patient, but you feel him staring at you all the while. And it’s menacing. Even with patience and focus, you spill a drop onto the pristine marble.

“I’m sorry,” you tell him.

You move to find something to wipe it up with, but he stops you before you can even jump down from the stool. He presses his thick thumb into the cherry red liquid, seemingly absorbing it all before he raises it to his lips. You watch keenly as your brother’s tongue juts seductively from his lips before he meticulously licks over the pad of his thumb to taste it.

He clears his throat and leans across countertop.

You feel so small.

“Was that your boyfriend?” he wonders, eyes glued to you as he speaks with a low, gravelly tone. He sips soon after, making mental notes of your responses as you process his words.

“U-Um, no, Taiju,” you shake your head. You feel blistering heat in your face as you think about your classmate, and the intimate thoughts you’ve had about him for weeks now, all while your brother’s attention is entirely fixed on you. “We’re in the same class! He came to drop off some books he thought might help me.”

It’s a confession that is entirely the truth. He isn’t your boyfriend and you’re sure he never will be. Not unless he makes the first move, that is. You’re far too shy to even suggest that your feelings for him a more intense than they should be for simple classmates. Taiju nods, finally looking away from you as he takes another drink.

“Finish up and go to bed.” he commands.

You nod, too nervous to argue. You’ve never seen him like this or even heard him be so curt with you. It won’t bother you to go to bed, not one bit. Hopefully tomorrow he’ll be back to his usual, loving self.

He leaves you alone as he strides towards his study, finally giving you the chance to breathe. You knock back the remainder of your wine and pick up your book bag and school supplies, your pace hastening as you get closer to your room.

“Oi.” Taiju speaks, voice booming through the hallway before you can open the door to your bedroom. He leans against the doorframe to his office, arms folded as his eyes squint at you. “If you want to have people over, clear it with me first.” he demands.

“Oh,” you sigh, and it’s riddled with relief as you realise that is what the problem has been all along. He’s upset you’ve invited a stranger into his home without asking. It’s understandable, and you’re soon smiling again as you look at him. “Of course. I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d mind.” you admit, regretting it almost instantly as it soon feels irrelevant to have said.

“I don’t want boys I don’t know here alone with my little sister.” he tells you.

He approaches, and your anxiety soars once again as you sense a looming threat in the air and the shortening distance between the two of you. He smirks as he takes your chin between his thumb and forefinger, your breath hitching at the contact while he forces you to look into his saffron gaze.

“You are very dear to me,” he confesses, “If anyone were to take advantage of you… well. You’re going to do as I ask next time, aren’t you? We won’t have to worry about that.”

“Of course… I’m so sorry, I should have—”

“You should.” he snarls. “But I forgive you. Go to bed, now.”

You nod, feeling slightly more upbeat after hearing he’s accepted your apology. He stops you from retreating to your room, though. His large, heavy hand encasing your forearm in a tight grip whilst his thumb still caresses your chin. It drifts, though, pulling the fat of your lower lip before he pulls it away. He taps his own lip twice, his expression still unamused as he looks at you.

“A goodnight kiss, princess,” he orders. You nod, it’s not out of the ordinary to kiss him goodnight. You stand on your tip toes before leaning in to peck his lips. They’re soft, and fit against yours beautifully as both of your eyes close during the contact. It’s chaste, to the point, and yet you’ve never felt an intensity during a kiss from him like you have just now.

His eyes are gentle, again. And the smile he offers is earnest. He kisses your cheek before you go, whispering in your ear sensually enough for a chill to traverse down your spine.

“Good girl.”

He opens the door to your room, remaining in place until you go inside. He shuts it after you get inside, leaning his back against the nearest wall as his head thuds against it. The cold metal of his rings cools down his flushed face, though he finds himself breathless.

Not from the act of a simple kiss, it’s the shame. Feelings for you, his sweet little sister, bubbling to the surface despite trying to repress them for so many years. He’s jealous and he’s ashamed of himself for letting things go this far. But you are his.

His sister.

His responsibility.

His property.

“Jesus Christ—”

He catches himself. He kicks away from the wall and rakes his fingers through tousled hair as he decides to distract himself with work in his office.

It’s taken blood and sweat to reach what he’s achieved. From being a sixteen year old menace to society, he’s now a highly respectable businessman with a chain of restaurants under his belt. Among other, less legal sources of income, of course.

It’s all for you.

As he looks through business expenses and documents from his lawyers, all he can think of is you.

It’s all been for you.

It’s always been for you.

He pushes his hair out of his face, noticing how it’s starting to cling to his forehead as he sweats profusely. Thoughts of you plaguing his every thought. His cock begins to throb in his slacks. His eyes drift from the papers scattered across his desk to his computer monitor. And then, slowly, they sink to the locked top drawer of his desk.

“Fuck,” he mutters. He ignores the drawer, instead, deciding to ignore his responsibilities as he types Pornhub in the search engine. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he speaks, exasperated as the homepage is flooded with an assortment of trending step sibling videos.

His heart pounds as he scrolls for a while, but eventually finds the willpower to click away, opting to find something else. He’s a simple man with simple taste. He’s always been into rougher stuff, deciding something along those lines will be best to quickly rub one out and clear his mind so he can focus on what he actually needs to be getting on with.

He clicks on a video, immediately cringing at the corny plot and dialogue as he unbuttons his shirt and rids himself of his belt. He’s panting as he pulls out his cock. If he’s been honest, his cock has been leaking since you fetched his wine so obediently.

He hisses when he realises he’s thinking about you again.

And soon enough he’s willing himself to concentrate on the girl in the video getting fucked within an inch of her life. It’s loud, rough, aggressive. Just how he likes. He tugs desperately, a vein popping in his forehead as he eagerly tries to get off to what he’s seeing.

It’s your fault.

He’s wondering if you’d ever be into fucking like this. He’s sure you’re a virgin, so he’d have to be careful with you at first.

“Fucking stop,” he whines.

He wants to cum to her, the girl in the video. It’s a lie, though. He wants to cum to you. He wants to hear how gorgeous you’d sound if he were the one to defile you for your very first time. Your own step brother, infiltrating your walls and making you cum around his cock.

“Shit,” he keeps trying to concentrate on her. His eyes soon wandering to the locked drawer again. He glances one final time at the video, grunting as he continues to fuck his fist until ultimately giving up.

He searches something new. Something he’s never beat one off to before. Softcore virgin. He grimaces as his finger hovers above the enter key, he knows he won’t be able to finish otherwise, but part of him thinks it’s not too late to turn back. His eyes widen slightly, taken aback by the sheer amount of results that are step-sibling videos. He considers it, again. He really does, but as he continues to scroll, he starts to take an interest in the masturbation videos.

The soft, feminine moans immediately make his cock jump. It’s perfect, it’s so sickeningly perfect because he can pretend it’s you. And if he’s this far gone, he feels no need to deprive himself anymore. He lifts up his keyboard, sliding the locked drawer key from a hidden compartment underneath. His hands are practically shaking as he tries to slide it into the slot. He quickly turns, breathing heavily as he almost rips the drawer from its place as he opens it.

He scoffs as his hand flies to a clear fleshlight, yanking it out and setting it down on his desk before he retrieves what he’s really been avoiding this whole time.

You’ve never had to do laundry, and he doesn’t do it either. He hires staff to come through the week to do tedious things like cleaning the apartment and washing dirty clothes. It’s been about a fortnight since he saw an opportunity laid bare before him.

You were at school, a fact now he’s growing to despise as he imagines you flirting with Takashi Mitsuya during your classes. But he was working from home, too irritated to handle business dealings in person on that particular Thursday. And he happened to see a maid emerge from your room with a laundry basket, a frilly pink thong atop a pile of outfits you’d worn through the week to college.

He wrestled with himself, he did.

But it wasn’t too difficult to distract the maid for long enough to pocket them for himself.

The video continues to play, his cock gushing as he stares down at your panties. He’s too far gone. He’s too aroused and his mind is muddied as he thinks about everything going on in his life and yours. You’re too honest to lie, Mitsuya isn’t your boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean he’ll never be.

He snatches the thong and strokes his cock with it in hand. His eyes roll back, a broken moan leaving his lips as he continues to pleasure himself. He stops abruptly, though, as the woman in the video he’s watching stops teasing her clit. She shows off a dildo, slowly rubbing it through her wet folds until she eventually begins to push it inside of herself.

She’s cute, but she isn’t you.

If he closes his eyes, however, she is. He looks to his fleshlight, deeming this the closest he’ll get to fucking you no matter how desperately he yearns for it. He carefully guides his tip into the plastic pussy, moaning a little louder than intended as he bottoms out.

He bites his lip as he recalls the woman in the store squeezing her thighs together as she helped him pick the toy out. It makes him laugh, briefly, as he recalls how forward she had been. He fucked her in the changing rooms as she insisted she’d need to see what he was packing so that she could help him pick the perfect model.

She sent him away with the biggest size.

Your pussy won’t feel like this, though. He’s certain you won’t be so generous and accommodating. Your tight little virgin cunt will fight against him, but he’ll make it fit.

“Jesus, fuck—” he groans, admitting defeat for the final time as he brings your panties to his face and almost suffocates himself with the material.

His chest swells as he inhales, before it deflates with shuddering breaths as he savours the scent of your used unmentionables. He picks up the pace with his toy in tandem with the woman in the video. His moans are boisterous and uncaring, he’s lost the ability to feel shame as he imagines you bouncing on his cock crying his name and trying to become accustomed to his length.

He needs it more than air.

He needs it more than he needs to fucking breathe.

“Shit, ah—” he grunts, he bites his lip as he continues to pound into the fucktoy in his grip. He grunts stridently as he spurts into the fleshlight. He watches through heavy, lidded eyes at the clear plastic, watching how his balls tighten and deposit his creamy load into the faux pussy. “Fuck, Taiju.” he sighs, but laughs as he slowly begins to stroke himself with the toy. He hisses, feeling sensitive from his release as he milks himself of every last drop he can drain.

He exhales breathlessly once he’s done. His chest rising and falling as he allows his body to melt into his leather chair. He looks around the room, and he looks at himself. The crushing reality of what he’s just done weighs down on him. He’s spent, but finds enough energy to put your panties back in the drawer, locking it promptly.

The fleshlight, on the other hand, he leaves out after making space for it on his desk. He winces as it rolls and his sperm begins to drip out onto the glossy, chestnut tabletop. The comedown from is euphoria is like reaching a new low. He can’t even bear to look at the scene of his filthy indiscretion any longer.

But as he’s about to stand, the door swings open.

“Taiju?” you pout.

He scrambles to hide his exposed lower half under his desk and dump some of the papers littering his desk over the sticky fleshlight. He can’t hide the grimace on his face as the corner of one of his documents begin dampen from his cum.

“O-Oh, sorry, I forgot to knock… I should have knocked.”

“Yes, you should.” He says, gruffly, “What is it?”

You’re quiet, allowing your sock covered foot to glide across the wood flooring as you awkwardly look down at them. It’s not like you’re scared to talk to your brother, but you know he doesn’t like to be interrupted when he’s in here. And you don’t want to embarrass him.

“Answer.” his order startles you, his voice almost thunderous as he commands your attention. Your eyes fill with water, but you bat the tears away as you speak.

“I thought I heard you yelling. Or… in pain.” you tell him, voice below a whisper as you confess you’ve been unintentionally listening. “I thought you might have hurt yourself.”

Pink dusts over his face, you can even see it from only the light of the monitor. He looks around, suspiciously, though you don’t notice or comment on it.

“Why were you listening to me? Can’t you sleep?” he wonders. “… Don’t worry. I’m fine.” he assures you.

“I was worried. A-About earlier. I don’t like it when you’re mad at me… I promise I haven’t got a boyfriend and I’ll never bring anyone here without permission again.”

He smirks at that, all of his teeth bared and you still don’t understand what kind of sick depraved man your big brother really is. Maybe you aren’t as ungrateful or disrespectful as he thought; it was wrong of him to even assume that when you’ve been nothing but a doll the whole time he’s known you.

You poor thing.

You’ve been fretting over your brother’s wellbeing and state of mind since he sent you to bed so long ago. He’s been on your mind this whole time. You’re more like your big brother than you even realise, he thinks.

You’re so timid.

So obedient.

So good.

“You must be so tired, princess…” he coos, and you nod dumbly. He tuts, feeling sorry for your innocent nature and naivety, but sweet little you thinks he’s sympathetic to your exhaustion. “Do you want me to help you sleep? Shall I play with your hair like I used to when we were younger?”

“Really?” you ask, eyes lighting up at the proposition.

“Of course,” he nods, grinning wildly. “What are big brothers for?”

© 2024 rinhaler

#🦋 — luxe writes #taiju smut #taiju x reader #taiju shiba x reader #taiju shiba smut #shiba taiju smut #taiju shiba #shiba taiju #taiju shiba x you #taiju shiba x y/n #tokyorev x fem!reader #tw jealousy #tw possessiveness #tw codependency #tw stepcest

[monratarot]

Who will be your future spouse?

Pick a card reading🍄🦋🌸💗

Hello guys! Moni here! 🧚🏼‍♀️

It's almost the half of the month so I was thinking that this would be a good opportunity for those who are single and searching for love.

Here is a free reading about your future spouse. Pick the pile that you are most drawn to and scroll down to read about your future partner. Keep in mind that gender can be reversed.

Takes what resonate with you because remember that this is just a general reading and it might not apply for everyone.

Don't forget to like/reblog/comment and follow me! I would really appreciate it because it will help my blog grow!

So let's get started! Enjoy!💟

Moni🧚🏻‍♀️

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒Your feedback is highly appreciated

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒Like and reblog to claim your pile

Pile 1 🍄☁️🌸 Pile 2 🍄☁️🌸Pile 3

└─── °∘💮∘° ───┘ └─── °∘💮∘° ───┘ └─── °∘💮∘° ───┘

Pile 1 (🌸◠∀◠)(◠ᵕ◠🌸)

MR CREATIVE - control over emotions, diplomatic, compassionate ↓manipulative, a master of emotions with selfish intentions

When you can meet them – Libra season or 7 weeks/7 months, on a Sunday

He is charming and confident but comfortable to be around.

Astrological associations - Libra and Scorpio

Men or women over the age of 40

emotionally passionate

a person with auburn, red, or medium colored hair

solid love

someone dynamic, active, and radiate confidence;

creative man, the poet, the man who dreams deeply

they can be sometimes wishy-washy but always with the flow of things even if he can be frustratingly laid back at the time

vitality, passion, and appetite for life, deeply sensual and not ashamed of his pleasure or his body

in their negative they becomes the addicted or the impotent lover(he becomes posses and lost, living only for the pleasure at the moment

nurture, guide, and support others; act socially responsible; let yourself be touched and moved; listen to others with sympathy and understanding; use intuition in decision-making

Key meaning of the relationship:

a compassionate and somewhat emotional person

a warm and gentle guy, liked by many for his easy nature

warmhearted, charismatic person

they follow their intuition in their work

they are sociable, but sensitive and need to choose their friends wisely

ideal romantic partner

motivated to help others through direct action and cooperation, serene, calm

subtle, friendly, sympathetic, caring, compassionate, affectionate

avoids conflicts and problems, willing to help, co-dependent

hypersensitive to indifference and criticism, difficulty in saying “no”

pessimistic, gloomy, doesn't want to offend or disappoint anyone

nostalgic, unstable, easily seduced, duplicity, rigid control of or hides emotions, manipulation

telling others what they want to hear, can be overwhelming by another's pain

Oracle Message: Support others by supporting yourself first.

Your day may also feel confused, changeable, and with many different things that seem to require your attention from upset teenagers to misunderstandings with others that arise from unchecked emotions.

Time for you to consider finding your own support from this type of person.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ───

a sexy or sensual feel to your love life; a focus on primal urges, sexuality, and dominance; beginnings of a romance that is very physical but sometimes lacking on more substantial levels; the attraction in a new relationship will be based on appearances rather than things in common

Possible job:

entrepreneurs

inventors

goal setters and go-getters

mystics and spiritual leaders

sports coach

fitness instructor

motivational speaker

life coach

army soldiers

coach

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

Pile 2 (🌸◠∀◠)(◠ᵕ◠🌸)

I KNOW I'M A DREAMER - romance, adventurism, an invitation ↓moodiness, someone who is too charming, heated emotions/temper

When you can meet them – Pisces season, 12 weeks/12 months, on a Saturday

They are a dedicated, motivated, emotional, tender, sensitive, and loving person

Element - the fire of the suits of water - Aquaris + Pisces

romance, relationships

dreamy, charming, romantic

being focused on love

man or women under the age of 40

dark hair and eyes

faithfulness

this knight’s quest is love

romantic person, a love interest & also yourself in the throes of full-on love

tendency to be manic by nature(one moment you are the love of his life and the next one you are the thorn in their ass)

tendency to be jealous by nature

stalker

Key meaning of the relationship

prosperity, property and beginnings

the beginning stages of something tangible

growth

material abundance

new enterprise

finances or wealth; a solid fruitful foundation

a promotion

good luck

unexpected money

Oracle Message: Act with love, express yourself, be creative.

Allow yourself the time to write poetry, prepare a sumptuous meal, plan that secret date for your partner.

Do something special for your lover today – flowers, chocolates, that date – but something unusual like ice skating, or a quiet out-of-town dinner, something that is intimate and full of togetherness.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ───

love is around the corner and sparks are already flying; great opportunities for growth and positive natural change in romance; speak up and act out in order to get what you want; new relationship, go with the flow; time to pursue new love, to feel silly with someone or just to fall unconditionally in love with you(embrace your inner fool and trust that falling into this phase is the point)

Possible job:

entrepreneurs

inventors

creators

pioneers and adventurers

mystics and spiritual leaders

sports coach

fitness instructor

motivational speaker

life coach

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

Pile 3 (🌸◠∀◠)(◠ᵕ◠🌸)

Mr PRACTICAL - abundance, security, financial success ↓greed, temptation, infinite desire for more things

When you can meet them – in Capricorn season, 10 weeks/10 months, on a Tuesday

They are thoughtful and wise, not rushing decisions nor being swayed to conform to modernity

Element - the air of the suit of earth

Astrological association - Aries and Taurus

a generous person

man or women over the age of 40

dark hair and eyes

finding happiness

seeing failures as winds

natural business person

great sense of humor

seeing failures as wins

being positive, being thankful

honest soul

naive for love

educated

emotional

person who demonstrates how resources are gained and used

they are always there

common-sense, apparent, reliable, accomplished, solid, steady, calm, wealthy, supportive

the user of secret knowledge, the knower, and the master of the technology

in their negative - they becomes the manipulator or the denying “innocent” one; taking advantage of others through specialized knowledge(leads to false superiority, isolation, and loneliness)

Oracle Message: This is a day for holding court & solving issues.

People see you as someone trustworthy, authoritative, level-headed, and great in a crisis.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ────── ･ ｡☆: .☽ .:☆. ───

you no longer have the tolerance for the drama that a younger kind of love would offer, what you want is to be with someone who understands what life is really about; you will be successful in your endeavors - have faith

Possible job:

estate agent/developers

businessman/manager

director

master craftsman

banker

stock broker

teacher/educator

merchants

businessman

bodybuilder

bodyguard

professional athlete

entrepreneur

lawyer

banker

consultant

gardener

doctor

electrician

#pac #pac readings #pick a card readings #tarot #tarot readings #pick a pile #pick a pile readings #pick a picture #pick a card reading #pick a card #astro notes #witch #tarotblr #tarot spreads #tarot pac #pac reading #pac tarot readings #pac tarot reading #pick a pile reading #pick a pile tarot #tarot community #tarot witch #tarot blog #psychic readings #law of abundance #pick a photo #pac tarot #tarotcommunity #tarot cards #tarot reading

[talkdutchtome]

Two lines - Max Verstappen

pairing . . . max verstappen x reader )

genre . . . slight angst, fluff )

summary . . . a one night stand with the formula one world champion ends with an expected pregnancy, can the two of you figure out how to co-parent for the sake of the new life on the way )

requested?. . . based on this request )

warning . . . mentions of sex, one night stand, pregnancy, medical emergency, eclampsia, emergency c-section )

word count . . . 8.8k words )

a/n . . .this is without a doubt the longest and most in-depth piece of work i've done for this blog, i've worked so so hard on this so i hope you all love it. any and all feedback is welcome and encouraged; let me know what you think )

Two lines. Two lines is all it took to completely turn your life upside down. This morning you were feeling positive, life was going well. You had just got a promotion at your job; you were on the back of a great second date with a really lovely guy, you had plans to go out with your girls to celebrate. Life was good. But now, sat on a toilet in a cramped grocery store bathroom, you could almost see all of that goodness and light evaporate into thin air. Now the only thing that was positive was the pregnancy test that sat in the palms of your hands. You did want kids, but not like this. You wanted kids when you were settled down, married with a house and a dog. That was the plan; the plan that you had in your head since you were 11 years old. Grow up, climb the career ladder, meet the love of your life, get married, buy a house- then and only then have kids. Nowhere in that plan did it state have a one-night stand with a Formula One driver in a club bathroom and get pregnant, yet here you are. Two lines.  

Four weeks ago, your best friend Mia dragged you to a Formula One race. Neither of you particularly cared for the sport however she had just started dating Charles Leclerc and he had asked her to come and see him race, so she decided that you needed to come with her for support. After the race she also insisted you come with them to the nightclub for the same reason. Things were going fine, Charles was nice, his friends seemed okay. However, things took a turn when she and Charles disappeared halfway through the night leaving you alone with none other than Max Verstappen. It was awkward to say the least. He didn’t seem happy or in a particularly chatty mood so you both did what any reasonable adult would do in that situation- get black out drunk. One drink turned to two drinks, which turned to three and then four. Eventually, the mixed spirits in your system lead to the pair of you getting closer and closer together until the tension was unbearable and you ended up hiding away in the private bathroom with him. No contact details were exchanged by either of you, why would there be, it was a one-time thing - you were never going to see each other again, right?  

You hadn’t really thought about that night again until now. Mia and Charles’ relationship eventually fizzled out as quickly as it had started and your brief time in the world of Formula One had ended. Your focus was on Tom, the guy you were dating now. Fuck. Tom. How in the world are you supposed to tell a guy you have been on two dates with that you were pregnant? What were you meant to say at work? Thanks so much for the promotion, see you in a year? You were well and truly fucked. Should you tell Max? You wouldn’t even know how to contact him without going through Mia and that was not an option. You never told her that you even slept with him, you can’t just drop the fact that you’re pregnant with her ex-boyfriend’s best friend's baby. To put it plainly, you had no idea what the hell you were going to do.  

Four weeks later and you were slowly making your way through telling everyone who needed to be told, apart from the most important of course; you still hadn’t figured out how to tell Max. Telling your work was first, there wasn’t any issues there and it gave you a false sense of security, thinking that maybe everything would be okay. However, telling Tom did not go as well. After learning that the girl he had been casually dating had fallen pregnant, he essentially sprinted away from the situation, and you, as fast as he could. Then it was time to tell Mia, who for some reason found it hilarious; or at least until she realized that it meant she would have to contact Charles so you could tell Max. Your parents were upset at first but quickly warmed to the idea of being grandparents. As time went on, the dread you felt lessened and lessened and was replaced with excitement. You nicknamed the baby Little Bump and spoke to it every night. Even if this wasn’t what you planned, it was going to be okay. It was you and your Little Bump against the world.  

Even though you were content with raising the baby by yourself, the people in your life didn’t seem to agree. Your parents, who didn’t know who the father was, endlessly asked you about him and if he knew and if he wanted anything to do with it. Mia, however, who did know it was Max, held the position that Max had the right to know what was going on. It’s not like you didn’t agree with her, you did. But the fear of his reaction prevented you from being able to tell him. If he reacted badly and told you to go away and never come back, what were you supposed to do in 10 years' time when your child started asking why they didn’t have a dad. You couldn’t exactly tell that poor kid that he wanted nothing to do with us but if you tune into Sky Sports on a Sunday you might catch a glimpse of him.  

So, you didn’t tell him. You go through the motions of pregnancy without him. Morning sickness, scans and checkups. You were happy with your choice; you’d both be okay without him. But that all changed the second you felt your little bump kicking. The feeling of movement in your stomach made everything so much more real. No longer was the baby just a concept, but a real human being growing inside of you. It dawned on you then, that even if you were perfectly capable of raising Little Bump by yourself, this little baby was a privilege; and it was a privilege that Max should have the opportunity to have too.

You needed to tell him, that was decided. The next part was figuring out how. Luckily for you, a quick google search told you that the next Formula One race was in a city not too far out from where you lived. So, you go to the city you know he’s going to be in, Mia insists on coming with you, both for emotional support but also to make sure both you and Little Bump stay safe.  

The first issue to tackle when arriving is convincing Mia to call Charles. She never told you what happened between the two of them but whatever it was it was clearly not a clean break. The second obstacle was convincing Charles to actually give Mia Max’s number. Apparently phoning up your ex to ask for one of their best friend’s phone numbers isn’t really socially acceptable. However, after much persuasion he eventually gave it up; so now you were in the same city as him and you had his number. All that was left was to tell him. You typed up a message telling him everything; before swiftly deleting it and writing it again, and then again, and then again. The cycle went on for hours; you just didn’t know how to tell someone that you hardly knew that they were going to be a father. Eventually, you settled on sending a message simply asking him to meet you.  

You- Hi Max, It’s Y/N. We met the other week through Mia and Charles. I’m in town, could we meet? There’s something I need to talk to you about?  

Max- Oh hi yes Y/N I remember. I’m sorry I’m really busy with the race so I don’t have time for anything  

You- It is really quite important. Please. 

Max- Okay fine. Come to the track, I’ll put your name on the guest list, and I can give you 5 minutes before qualifying starts. 

The nerves were becoming unbearable now. You had thought about turning around and running away multiple times on the drive to see Max, but you preserved; not for yourself but for Little Bump who deserved a chance of having a dad. Arriving at the track, you did as he said and told the security that you were on the guest list, and they let you through without too much issue. The urge to run away became stronger the closer you got to actually talking to him, you just had a feeling that things were not going to end well but against your better judgement you sent a quick text message to Max informing him you were waiting for him in catering.  

The second you caught sight of him coming towards him you could have sworn Little Bump started kicking, affirming to you that you were making the right decision. This baby deserved a dad, and you couldn’t be the person who stood in the way of that.  

“Hey Y/N I’m in a bit of a rush. What was you needed?” He asked the second he got close enough to you for you to hear him. This was it. Now or never. You were going to tell him.  

“Max I’m-” you begin to speak before you are promptly cut off by a sudden surge of nausea. With one hand clamped to your mouth desperately trying not to embarrass yourself and vomit everywhere, you ran to the nearest bathroom, leaving a stunned Max Verstappen in your wake, wondering what the hell happened.  

After a sufficient time in the bathroom, you gingerly returned back to the catering area, expecting Max to be long gone; but to your surprise he was sat at the table you had just left, his face painted with worry. You couldn’t even imagine what he was thinking, a random one-night stand gets your number, demands to see you and then runs away to be sick; you couldn’t look more unstable if you tried. Despite this, however, Max had waited.  

“Are you okay Y/N? What just happened?” he asked  

“Oh yeah, I’m fine that’s nothing to worry about, it’s like this every morning.” The words left your mouth before you realized that maybe you shouldn’t have said that. The worry on Max’s face only increases with your comment. You can see he’s trying to find the words to ask you what the hell is going on and you’re aware that he needs to be getting ready for qualifying like now, so you bite the bullet and just come out with it.  

“Max I’m pregnant” you say before closing your eyes, not wanting to even see his reaction. You’re expecting shouting, frantic questions or denial; instead, you are met with silence. When your eyes open you are met with Max stood there white as a sheet looking like he was desperately trying not to pass out.  

“I know this is a bit of a shock, but I haven’t... with anyone else so it’s definitely-” you go to assure him that you’re sure that the baby is his but are interrupted by a women walk up and stand in between the both of you.  

“Hey baby I was looking for you everywhere” the woman spoke before wrapping her arms around Max and pulling Max into a hug. If Max looked like he was going to pass out before, he looked like he was about to drop down dead now.  

“Hey Beth, I just came down for a coffee and bumped into Y/N, she’s Charles’ friend.” Max said, barely able to get the words out. The women, Beth, turned to look at you for the first time.  

“Hi I’m Beth; Max’s girlfriend.” Beth said as she stuck her hand out for you to shake and you felt the feeling of nausea come back- Max having a girlfriend would make this whole situation a lot more complicated. You forced a smile and shook her hand, trying desperately not to need to be sick again. 

“Oh Hi, yeah I’m Charles friend.” That’s a lie, you hadn’t spent more than a few hours with Charles in your life and he spent the majority of them with his tongue down Mia’s throat. 

“How long have you been together?”  

“2 years.” Beth’s words made your heart drop. Two years? There’s no way you could have heard that right. You look to Max for clarification that you misheard Beth, but he had his eyes closed, trying desperately to wish away this conversation. 

“Beth, you go on I’ll just grab my coffee and come and catch up with you.” Max finally spoke up after a while of silence and even though Beth didn’t seem to like that idea very much, she did as he said and walked away. Once Max was sure she was out of earshot he began speaking again.  

“Look I really can’t do this here. Text me the address of your hotel and I’ll come around tonight.” he told you before walking away. Maybe that was a positive thing, you thought to yourself, at least he wants to talk about it and not just pretend he didn’t hear you and move on.  

You had been pacing around your hotel room since you arrived back after speaking to Max at the track, deeply regretting ever coming and telling him. With Max having a girlfriend there is almost no chance that he would want to be a part of your and Little Bump’s life, especially if he did cheat on his girlfriend with you like you assumed. The thought made you sick, you had been cheated on before and it killed you and to think that you played a part in her pain drove you insane. You were infuriated at Max; so, when he knocked on your door that night you were prepared to tear him a new one. But when he walked on the room in silence, looking like a man who had lost all hope, the anger you felt seemed to slip away.  

“Are you sure?” he asked after a few moments of awkward silence between the two of you. His voice seemed so much weaker than you remembered it all those months ago, he didn’t look like a confident two-time world champion like he did when the two of you got in this mess, he looked small and frail.  

“Yeah, Max, I’m sure. But I understand why you wouldn’t be able to just take my word for it so when Little Bump is born, I’m happy to do a paternity test” 

“Little Bump?” 

“Yeah, I haven’t found out the gender yet so that’s what I’ve been calling it.” You could have sworn you saw the smallest smile creep onto his face. 

“Max, Beth said you had been together for two years, is that true?” You asked him and if there was a smile on his face before, there definitely wasn’t now. 

“It is but we broke up for a bit, during the- well you know” he spoke, and you could feel your heart rate start to calm down. This situation isn’t good by any means but at least you weren’t involved in an affair.  

“Look Max, I don’t expect anything from you. If you want me to go now I will, and you’ll never see me again. I don’t want money from you or anything like that. All I wanted was to give you a chance to be in Little Bump’s life.” You told him and braced yourself for him to confirm that he did indeed want you to leave and never come back. 

“No. I do want to- I don’t really know what this is or how to do it but if I’m going to have a kid, I’m going to be there for it.” His words made you smile, even if this situation was messy and uncomfortable; it would all be worth it if you could give Little Bump a dad it would all be worth it. 

“Okay well I’ve got a scan next week, you can come to that if you’d like?” you asked him, expecting him to say no, to tell you that he would be too busy but instead he surprised you. 

“Yeah, I’ll be there” 

Every day from that night in your hotel room to the day of the scan Max had texted you, checking up on you and Little Bump. Truly the last thing you had expected was that he would not only want to be a part of the baby’s life, but he seemed to actually care. Maybe this would all be okay, the two of you could co-parent and Little Bump would grow up with two parents who loved it. When the day of the scan came around, Max informed you that he would be picking you up early and taking you to lunch before your appointment to ‘get to know each other’. This made you more nervous that you cared to admit, the time you had spent with Max prior to this was short-lived and not filled with very much talking, hence why you were in this situation, so you really had no idea what kind of person he was or if the two of you would even get on., he could be an absolute arsehole for all you knew. But after only 30 minutes of spending time with him you realized that he was one of the sweetest people you had ever met 

“So, how’s Beth?” you asked him once you were at the restaurant, curious to know if she had been made aware of the situation yet. 

“She’s okay. I told her” Max said, his eyes fixed on his food in front of him, not daring to look up. 

“Oh, how did that go?”  

“It was pretty rough at first, she was really upset. But I think we’re going to make it work” He looked up at you this time and his eyes bore into you. The feeling of a lump in your throat made itself known but you swallowed it down; it’s not like you were jealous or anything but you were aware of how complicated this situation was going to be, and it would be made even more complicated with another person involved.  

“That’s good then” you told him, forcing a smile, not wanting Max to catch on to your worries. Even if you did have reservations on how this whole situation would play out, so far Max had been nothing but helpful and co-operative, so you knew you owed it to him to give him the benefit of the doubt.  

“So, I was thinking, we need to come up with some sort of plan as to how this is going to work” Max told you, looking very nervous.  

“I grew up only living with my dad, and that meant I didn’t get to see my mum much at all and that was really hard. I didn’t really have a relationship with her until I was an adult, and the last thing I want is for the baby to have to go through that. I don’t want to have to wait 20 years to have a relationship with Little Bump” his voice dropped to a whisper for the last sentence, and you could see the pain in his eyes, this was clearly something that had been playing on his mind. Truthfully, you had no idea how this would work; Max lived in a different country to you, and he travelled so much for work, so it certainly wasn’t going to be easy. But looking into his worried eyes, you couldn’t help but want to assure him that everything would be okay. Across the table, Max sat with a haunted look in his eyes, his vulnerability on full display. You could sense the weight of his past trauma casting shadows over his usually confident exterior. As he picked at his food, his hands shook slightly, betraying the turmoil within. Max's voice, usually steady and assured, now carried a quiver that hinted at the lingering scars of childhood. You watched as he spoke, his words faltering at times, like a wounded child trying to find his way in a world that had once been unkind. With each sentence, it became evident that Max's past still clung to him, a heavy burden he struggled to bear. All you wanted to do was to reach across the table and hold him, to let him know that he doesn’t have to pretend to be strong. 

“I can’t tell you what is going to happen Max, but I can promise you that we will make it work. Our baby will have two parents” the smile Max gave you in response to your words made your heart melt, and you couldn’t help feeling like things were going to work out.  

“Okay Mum and Dad are we ready to see the baby?” The nurse asks you after placing the cold gel on your exposed stomach, ready to get the ultrasound going. As you both sat in the dimly lit ultrasound room, Max's eyes were fixed on the monitor, and his fingers trembled slightly as he held your hand. It was the first time he had witnessed the miracle of your growing baby, and the emotions that welled up inside him were impossible to contain. He tried his best to hide it, but a tear welled up at the corner of his eye, threatening to escape. The nurse moved the wand across your belly, and the image of your tiny, squirming baby filled the screen. Max's breath caught as he saw those delicate features, the tiny heart beating steadily. You could see the awe and love in his eyes, the way his lips curved into a soft smile that he couldn't suppress. Though he tried not to show it, his voice was tinged with emotion as he whispered, "That's our baby, Y/N." It was a moment of profound connection, and Max's unspoken feelings filled the room with a warmth that was as undeniable as the love you both felt for the new life growing within you. 

Max couldn't shake the overwhelming emotions that had swelled up during the ultrasound. As you both walked out of the clinic, he stopped and took your hand, his eyes still filled with that deep, newfound love for the life growing inside you. 

"Y/N," he began, his voice gentle and earnest, "I want you to move in with me. I want to be there for you and Little Bump, every step of the way. I want to take care of you both." You hesitated, your mind racing with practical concerns. You hardly knew Max, and he wanted you to move country and live with him. Even if you wanted to you couldn’t afford it, you’d have to leave your job which would mean no maternity pay. Plus, Max had a girlfriend, you couldn’t imagine her being too thrilled about her boyfriend moving in with another woman. 

“Max, that’s sweet but it’s not possible. What about my job? What about Beth?” You asked, trying to make him see that this wasn’t rational, it wouldn’t work, but still Max's gaze remained unwavering. 

"We'll figure it all out, Y/N. Beth will be okay with it, she will understand why this needs to happen. Please don’t worry about any of it, I want you to focus on your health and the baby's well-being. And as for your job, well, none of that matters. I can take care of us financially. I want to be there for my child, for you. Please, Y/N, say you'll move in with me."  

Tears welled up in your eyes, not just from the pregnancy hormones but from the overwhelming love and support Max was offering. Maybe this was crazy, you thought to yourself, there's no way this would work; but when you looked into his eyes, you could see his sincerity, he really meant every word  

So, against your better judgement, you nodded, a heartfelt smile breaking through. "Okay, Max. I trust you. Let's do this together."  

The move happened quickly; Max was eager to make sure that he could look after you as much as he could. Your job wasn’t too happy at you for quitting so soon after receiving a promotion, your mum and dad thought you were completely insane. Until now you refused to tell them who the dad was, now all of a sudden not only is the Formula One world champion the dad but you’re also moving to Monaco to live with him. Although if you thought telling your parents was hard, telling Max’s was even worse. Meeting Jos Verstappen was an experience that you would never forget. Before you left Mia informed you that Jos was known for being very overbearing and having a very short temper; however, nothing she could have said would have prepared you for what was to come. It started with Max telling Jos multiple times to speak English rather than Dutch, so you weren’t just sat there witnessing the whole situation go down without any idea what they were saying. Then Jos became angry at Max for making such a horrible mistake, after that he became angry at you, alleging that you had planned this to trap Max and steal his money. Throughout the whole ordeal, Max was able to stay calm, gently telling his dad that he was happy and excited to be a father, however when Jos started on you Max’s patience was gone immediately. Telling his father that you weren’t like that and the two of you were happy and were going to raise this baby whether he liked it or not. You couldn’t help but notice that even when Max was clearly very angry at his father, he never once raised his voice or lost his temper, instead choosing to calmly explain the situation to him and let him know how it was going to go down. This, to you, was extremely reassuring, you were still getting to know Max and the person who he was; and every day he proved himself to be a good person, somebody who would be a great dad. 

When you arrived at Max's apartment, you were taken aback by the thoughtfulness he had poured into preparing a room just for you. The soft hues of pastel blue and warm beige on the walls exuded a calming atmosphere, and a vase of fresh flowers sat on the bedside table. A plush blanket adorned the bed, and there was a selection of your favorite books on the shelf. He had clearly spoken to Mia to get this all prepared 

"Max, this is incredible," you said, feeling deeply touched by his effort. "I never expected you to do all this." He smiled warmly and gestured toward a door at the end of the hallway.  

"And this," he said, leading you to another room, "I thought it could be the nursery, but I wanted you to have a say in how we decorate it. I didn't want to presume anything." 

Tears welled up in your eyes again, this time from the sheer care and consideration he had put into making you feel comfortable. Max was doing everything he could to ensure you and the baby felt at home. 

"Max, you're amazing," you whispered, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.  

"Thank you for being so thoughtful and caring." He held you close, his embrace filled with love and reassurance.  

"Y/N, I just want you and our baby to be happy here. Anything you need, just let me know." As you settled into your new home, you couldn't help but feel incredibly grateful for the man who was putting in a genuine effort to make you as comfortable as possible. 

The first few days of living with Max had gone surprisingly smoothly, a peaceful coexistence that allowed you both to settle comfortably into your new life together. However, when Beth caught wind of the new arrangement, her arrival was swift and unexpected. You retreated to your bedroom to give them space, though overhearing the ensuing argument left you feeling uneasy. From your bedroom, you couldn't help but overhear the escalating argument between Max and Beth. Their voices carried the weight of frustration and anger as Beth expressed her displeasure about you living with Max. 

"I just don't understand why you need to do this, Max," Beth said, her voice trembling with frustration. "I get that you want to be a part of the baby's life, but why does Y/N have to be part of ours?" 

Max's response came, softer but firm, "Beth, I want to give our child the family life I never had. That means being there for Y/N and the baby."  

Beth's anger didn't abate, and she retorted, "But what about us? What about our plans and our future?" 

Max took a deep breath, his voice filled with resolve. "Right now, Y/N and the baby are my priority. I thought you'd understand." 

As the argument reached a fever pitch, Beth eventually stormed out of the apartment, the door slamming shut behind her. You couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as you realized that your presence was causing tension in Max's relationship, even though he had been nothing but caring and supportive toward you. 

Max, after a moment of silence, knocked on your bedroom door gently and entered. He looked tired but determined. 

"Y/N, I'm sorry you had to hear that," he said, his eyes filled with regret. "But please understand, you and the baby mean the world to me right now. I want to do right by both of you." 

You nodded, your own heart heavy with the knowledge that your presence was complicating Max's life. "I appreciate everything you're doing for us, Max." 

He gave you a reassuring smile, reaching out to hold your hand. "We'll get through this together, Y/N. You and Little Bump are my family now, and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you both have everything you need." 

As you looked into his eyes, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the unwavering support and love Max was offering, even if it meant navigating rocky waters in his personal life. 

Later in the evening, there was a gentle knock on your bedroom door, and when you opened it, Max stood there with a somewhat downcast expression. “Do you want to do something, watch a movie or something maybe?” He asked, his voice much weaker than usual. You could tell that the earlier argument with Beth was still weighing on his mind. Although you were tired and had been ready to turn in for the night, you couldn't resist the opportunity to lift his spirits. 

Seeing the need for a distraction, you smiled warmly at Max and said, "Of course, Max, I'd love to watch a movie with you." Your willingness to spend time with him despite your fatigue was a silent gesture of support, and it brought a grateful smile to his face. 

Together, you made your way to the living room, choosing a film that promised both entertainment and distraction and settled into the cozy living room to share another memorable moment. The screen flickered to life, and as the movie started, you both found yourselves lost in the world of the film. 

Laughter filled the room as you traded jokes and amusing commentary throughout the movie, creating an atmosphere of joy and connection. Max seemed to have a way of making you laugh, and his infectious humor was a delightful addition to the evening. 

As the movie continued, you couldn't help but feel a sense of comfort and contentment sitting beside him. It was as if the worries and complications of life had momentarily melted away, leaving behind only the warmth of his presence. As the movie rolled on, the comfort of Max's presence began to take hold. The long day had left you weary, and you couldn't help but stifle a yawn. Max, ever attuned to your needs, glanced at you and seemed to understand. Wordlessly, he patted his lap, inviting you to lay your head there. With a grateful nod, you shifted closer, resting your head gently against his thigh. The soft fabric of his jeans felt warm and comforting against your cheek. As the movie's plot unfolded, Max's fingers, now tender and caring, began to play with your hair. The gentle strokes sent a cascade of shivers down your spine, and an unexpected sensation of butterflies fluttered in your stomach. 

It was at that moment, as Max's fingers continued their soothing dance, that you began to question the nature of your feelings for him. Were they merely the result of his kindness and care during this challenging time, or was there something more profound at play? Trepidation crept in as you wondered if your feelings for Max were more than just those of a friend. You felt a pang of guilt, he was still with Beth after all. Uncertainty swirled within you as you mustered the courage to speak up. 

"Max," you began hesitantly, "I hope I didn't cause any more trouble between you and Beth." 

Max, who had been lost in thought, looked down at you, his eyes filled with understanding. He let out a sigh and replied, "It's probably over, Y/N. To be honest, it was never great anyway, which is why we took a break – you know when we-." 

You offered an apologetic look, feeling torn between sympathy and concern for your growing feelings. "I'm sorry, Max. I didn't mean to complicate things." 

Max's gaze softened, and he reassured you, "Don't worry about it, Y/N. The relationship wasn't very good, even before the break. You're not to blame." 

As the movie played on, your head still nestled in his lap and his fingers continuing their gentle caress, you couldn't help but contemplate the complexity of your emotions. With a sense of unease and curiosity, you wondered if Max was becoming more than just a friend to you. 

As the weeks turned into months, you couldn't shake the awkwardness that had crept in since you'd started to acknowledge your newfound feelings for Max. Your friendship with him meant the world to you, and you were determined not to jeopardize it. With the baby on the way, you knew you had to prioritize the stability and happiness of your growing family. So, you began to give yourself a bit of space from Max. You kept yourself busy with prenatal classes, doctor's appointments, and preparing for the arrival of your baby. The distraction of these tasks allowed you to maintain a semblance of normalcy in your life, even as your emotions remained tumultuous beneath the surface. 

Max was away often for work and training anyway so that provided a convenient buffer and you could tell yourself that the physical distance was for the best, that it helped you maintain control over your feelings. However, as the due date rapidly approached and the Formula One season ended, he was home more often. It became increasingly challenging to avoid him, especially when he was eager to be a part of your pregnancy journey and offer his support. 

Despite the swirling emotions within you, you couldn't deny that you still cherished his presence in your life. You wrestled with the guilt of harboring feelings for a man who was going above and beyond to look after you and Little Bump, but you also knew that the priority was providing your baby with a loving and stable environment. Balancing these conflicting emotions was a delicate dance, and as you found yourself spending more time with Max in preparation for the baby's arrival, the challenge of keeping your feelings in check grew more daunting with each passing day. 

With your due date beginning to approach, the need to get the nursery ready became ever present so you decided to take on the task of building the flat packed crib that had been sitting in it’s box for the past few weeks. The crib's pieces lay strewn about, and you were carefully studying the instruction manual when Max entered the room. Seeing you hunched over the crib parts, Max immediately expressed his concern, his voice filled with care. "Y/N, you really should be resting right now. Let me handle this for you. You've been working so hard, and I don't want you to overexert yourself." 

You appreciated Max's thoughtfulness, but you were determined to see this task through on your own. "Max, I want to do this. I need to know that I can handle things as a mum." 

Max respected your determination but didn't want to see you pushing yourself too hard. After a brief back-and-forth, a compromise was reached. You both decided to tackle the crib assembly together, enabling you to feel like you were able to complete the task but also allowing Max to watch over you and ensure you and Little Bump were safe.  

As the crib slowly started to take shape, you couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment at the thought of your baby soon resting in it. Max, however, was unusually quiet. His brow furrowed with a deep concern that had been lurking in the corners of his mind. You could sense that something was troubling him, and as you worked together to piece the crib together, you decided to broach the topic gently. 

"Max, is everything alright?" you asked, your voice filled with care. 

He sighed, setting down a wooden panel for a moment, and looked at you with a mixture of vulnerability and doubt. “I don’t know, I guess I’m just worried. I see the way you talk to your stomach, I know you’re going to be such a good mum to our Little Bump. I just don’t know if I’m going to be a good dad. I know how bad having a shit dad can fuck someone up, I just want more for my kid.” 

Your heart ached for Max as you recognized the fear that had been gnawing at him. You set aside your own concerns and walked over to him, wrapping your arms around him in a comforting hug. "Max, the fact that you're so concerned about being a good dad proves that you're already on the right path. You care deeply, and that's the most important thing. We'll learn and grow together as parents, just like we've navigated everything else in our lives. You'll be an amazing dad because you want the best for our baby." Max held you close, his arms encircling you in a tight embrace. Being so close to him maybe wasn’t the best idea, but you could see how much he needed it.  

Despite your ever-growing feelings for Max, you kept it to yourself, doing everything you could to ignore the way that you felt about the man you were now preparing to be parents with. Your due date was only weeks away when you started to feel like you were going crazy, so you did what every woman does when she’s dealing with unrequited love, you bore out your entire heart to your best friend whilst eating ice cream by the metric tonne.  

“I just don’t know what to do Mia” you told your best friend over the phone one afternoon when Max was out getting supplies to finish decorating the nursery. 

“I think you just need to tell him, be completely honest” her words made you sigh. 

“Oh yeah so I just go up to him ‘hey Max I know we’re about to be parents and you’ve so kindly let me live in your house but I’m not happy just co-parenting with you, I love you and want to be with you, like a real family” You ranted to Mia but her response to you was cut off by a familiar voice laced with a Dutch accent speaking up. 

“What?” Your neck snapped up violently at the sound of his voice, Max stood in the doorway of your bedroom his face painted with a look of shock. 

Max's voice, tinged with both surprise and hurt, hung in the air, a heavy silence following his unexpected entrance into the conversation. You turned slowly, the phone clutched in your trembling hand, your eyes meeting his, wide with shock. The room seemed to shrink, and the air grew thick with tension as you realized he had overheard every word. His brows furrowed deeply, and he set the supplies he had been carrying onto the nearby table.  

"You... love me?" he asked, his voice shaky as if grappling with the revelation. You nodded, your eyes now glistening with unshed tears, unable to speak. Max took a step closer, his eyes filled with a mixture of emotions, but the one that seemed to dominate was fear. "And you've been keeping this from me... all this time?" 

You swallowed hard, your throat dry. "I was scared," you whispered, finally finding your voice. "I didn't want to jeopardize what we have, the baby, our plans. I thought if I kept it to myself, things would be easier." 

Max ran a hand through his hair, clearly conflicted. "Easier? Do you think keeping something like this a secret is easier?" 

His frustration was apparent, you could hear it as his voice gradually became louder and angrier and you couldn't blame him. You had betrayed his trust, and he had a right to be upset. 

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you fought to hold them back. "I didn't know how you'd react, Max. I didn't want to push you away, especially not now when we should be focusing on preparing for the baby." 

"I understand, but I can't believe you kept something like this from me, especially at a time like this." His voice was laced with frustration, he brought his hand up to his head, running his fingers through his hair 

You nodded; your heart heavy with the intensity of his emotions. "I know, Max. I'm sorry; I should've been honest with you." 

Max's frustration was apparent as he walked towards the door. "I need some space to think, and I don't know what this means for us right now." 

With those words, he left the house, and you were left standing there, engulfed in a sea of turmoil. Panic took hold of you as you realized the enormity of what had just transpired. You had pushed Max away, and now you feared it might be too late to salvage your relationship. 

In the wake of Max's departure, the silence in the house became oppressive. Anxiety and self-doubt swirled in your mind, and you couldn't bear to stay there any longer. The urge to seek refuge with your parents, where you could find solace and guidance, became irresistible. 

In a manic rush, you hurriedly packed a bag with essentials, your heart racing with every passing second. Tears streamed down your face as you considered the drastic step you were about to take. With trembling hands, you purchased a last-minute plane ticket back to your hometown. 

The minutes felt like an eternity, but you were finally on your way to the airport. You left a hurried note for Max, explaining your need to be with family during this turbulent time. With your heart in your throat, you headed to the airport, driven by a frantic need to escape the chaos you had unleashed. 

The plane took off, carrying you away from the life you had built with Max, and the turbulence within you mirrored the journey. The fear of losing Max and the desperation for a fresh start with your parents guided you on this unexpected and tumultuous path. 

Max returned home the next day, his heart heavy with concern and regret. The house felt emptier than ever, and the silence only intensified his panic. He rushed to find his phone, fingers trembling as he tried to dial your number. But to his dismay, there was no answer on the other end. He left a voicemail, pleading for you to call him back as soon as you could. 

In his frantic state, Max's mind raced to find a solution. He knew he needed to find you, to make things right. He decided to call Charles, hoping he might have some insight or connection to your whereabouts. 

"Charles," Max said, his voice tight with anxiety, "I need your help. I can't reach Y/N. She's left, and I don't know where she's gone. Do you have Mia's number?" 

Charles, understanding the urgency in Max's tone, reluctantly provided Mia's number. Max immediately dialed it and hoped that Mia might have some answers. Mia answered after a few rings, and Max wasted no time 

"Mia, it's Max. I can't get through to Y/N. Do you know where she is? I need to talk to her." 

Mia's voice held a hint of worry as well. "I haven't heard from her since yesterday either, Max. She seemed really upset when you left. Let me give you her family's number; maybe they know something." 

Max was grateful for Mia's help as she provided him with your family's contact information. He dialed the number, his heart pounding in his chest. After a few rings, someone on the other end finally picked up. 

"Hello?" a voice answered. 

Max didn't waste any time. "Hi, this is Max. I'm looking for Y/N. She left a note saying she was going to see her family, but I haven't heard from her since. Is she with you?" 

There was a moment of confusion on the other end, followed by a sense of concern. "Max, I'm sorry, but we haven't heard anything about Y/N planning to visit us. Are you sure she's on her way here?" 

Max's panic deepened as he realized you hadn't reached your family, and he had no idea where you were. "I... I don't know. I'm really worried about her. If you hear from her, please let her know I'm looking for her and that I want to talk." 

Max hung up the phone, his mind filled with anxiety. He was determined to find you and make things right, but at that moment, he felt utterly lost without any leads to follow. 

As Max anxiously paced around the house, his worst fears were consuming him. He kept checking his phone, desperately hoping for a call or message from you. Every moment felt like an eternity, and the silence was deafening.  

Then, suddenly, his phone rang. It was your mum. Max's heart pounded in his chest as he answered the call, his voice trembling as he spoke, "Hello?" 

Your mum's voice was filled with worry and fear. "Max, it's Y/N’s mum. We just got a call from the hospital. She passed out at the airport, the staff found her and phoned an ambulance. We don't have many details yet, but we're on our way there now." 

Max's world seemed to spin as he struggled to process the shocking news. "Is she okay? What happened? The baby?" he stammered. 

Your mum's voice cracked with emotion as she replied, "We don't know, Max. They didn't tell us much over the phone. We're on our way to the hospital to find out." 

Max hung up the call, his hands shaking. Panic and fear gripped him as he realized the severity of the situation. He couldn't waste another moment. He immediately dialed his private jet service to book a flight to the hospital as soon as possible, not caring about the cost or inconvenience. All that mattered was getting to you and Little Bump 

Within minutes, the arrangements were made, and Max was on his way to the airport, his mind filled with a whirlwind of worry and thoughts of you. Time was of the essence, and he could only hope and pray that he would find you safe and sound at the hospital. 

Max's heart was racing as he landed and rushed to the hospital your mum had mentioned. Fear and uncertainty gnawed at him as he sprinted through the sterile hospital corridors, the tension in the air growing with each step. He finally found your room, where your parents were anxiously waiting just outside. 

Breathing heavily, Max approached them, his voice shaking as he spoke, "What happened? Is she okay?" 

Your mum stepped forward; her eyes red-rimmed from worry. "Max, she had a seizure, she had eclampsia, they needed to perform an emergency c-section" 

Max's heart seemed to stop for a moment, but he needed to know more. "Is she... Is the baby okay?" 

Your dad stepped in, his expression a mix of relief and concern. "Both Y/N and the baby are okay, Max. They're in recovery now." 

Max barely let them finish their explanation before he rushed into your room. There you were, sitting in a hospital bed, clearly still groggy from the medications they had administered. 

Max's eyes filled with tears as he approached you, his voice choked with emotion. "I was so scared, Y/N. Are you okay? Is the baby okay?" 

You blinked at him, your vision still hazy. "Max? What... happened?" 

He took your hand gently, his thumb brushing away a tear that had escaped his eye. "You had a seizure, but you and the baby are okay. That's all that matters." 

Max's relief was palpable, and he couldn't stop himself from reaching out to touch your face, his love and concern pouring forth. In that moment, nothing else in the world mattered but the fact that you and the Little Bump. 

  Max approached the bassinet where the baby lay, his heart pounding with a mixture of trepidation and excitement. With great care, he gently lifted the small, fragile form into his arms. As he cradled the tiny bundle close to his chest, a sense of wonder washed over him. 

He peered down at the baby's face, her features so delicate and new. The room seemed to fade away as he focused entirely on this precious, little life he now held in his arms. Max's eyes glistened with tears of joy and awe, his heart overflowing with emotions he had never experienced before. 

Every detail of the baby's face captivated him – her button nose, her rosebud lips, and her wisps of soft hair. He marveled at her innocence and vulnerability, realizing that he was now responsible for this tiny, perfect soul. 

With quivering lips, Max whispered softly, "You're a girl." The realization of this new chapter in his life, the responsibility of being a father to a daughter, filled him with a profound sense of purpose and love. 

He held her close, feeling her small chest rise and fall with each gentle breath. The bond he shared with his newborn daughter was a miracle that left him in awe. In that intimate moment, Max understood the beauty and fragility of life, and he couldn't help but smile, knowing that he was ready to embrace the journey of parenthood with all the love and dedication he could muster. 

Max held his precious daughter close, her small form cradled in his arms. He gazed down at her, the overwhelming love he felt for her and for you filling his heart. With a tenderness that could only come from a father's love, he whispered, "I love you, [Your Name]. I love our baby, and I'm so excited to start this new chapter of our lives together as a family, a real family." 

He could see that you were still fairly out of it, but he couldn't help but share his feelings in this moment. As he watched the baby's peaceful slumber, he asked, "What should we name her?" 

You fought against sleep, your eyelids heavy, but you managed to murmur, "Sophie." 

Max's eyes widened with surprise and joy. "Sophie? Like my mum?" 

With a weak but loving smile, you nodded. "Yeah, our daughter, Sophie Verstappen." 

Max's heart swelled with pride and love as he looked at his newborn daughter, Sophie. In that moment, as you drifted into slumber, he felt a profound sense of gratitude for the family he was building with you, a family that now included the beautiful Sophie Verstappen. 

Max's heart swelled with pride and love as he looked at his newborn daughter, Sophie. In that moment, as you drifted into slumber, he felt a profound sense of gratitude for the family he was building with you, a family that now included the beautiful Sophie Verstappen.  

As you drifted off to sleep, with Max sat beside you cradling your new-born daughter in his arms, you couldn't help but reflect on how your life had transformed for the better. It was a change that had been set into motion by just two lines on a pregnancy test. Two lines and your life was completely and irrevocably changed, and you couldn’t be happier. 

Taglist-

@sebastiansstanswhore @ironmaiden1313 @itsjustkhaos

#f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #formula 1 #max verstappen x y/n #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen #formula one x reader #formula 1 x you #formula 1 fanfic

[13leaguestories]

Happy New Year!

And forecast! I said it on Patreon, I'll say it over here. I'm not doing a "Look Back" kind of thing because yea no. 2023 was not that year. It was helpful in terms of lessons but work wise, I'm not proud of it whatsoever.

This post is just going to pretty much detail what the year may hold. Understand, I can barely forecast what I'm going to eat so this is a general forecast. There's only one thing that I know 100% is going to be done.

Superstition

This. This is the 100%. I don't care if I have to enter one of the most toxic ass relationships with this damn season, I will finish it. It shouldn't have gone on this long. Like, my god.

Throne of Ashes

I can confidently say that I do believe Nour and perhaps Ozara will see a release. Maybe. Nour definitely, Ozara at least will get a good sized dent in her story.

Sea of Stars

Of course, you will not be seeing it this year. Mostly because the focus will be on other things and the book is still pretty young. So, not much to say there.

Anything Else

I'm happy to say that besides one other project, which you guys are familiar with (RoA), no new projects are anywhere on the horizon. Which is great, cos I need that. The most you'll see from Riders of Abauruth is a survey that will be released maybe in March ... or April. Depends on how the brainstorming on Patreon goes really. I had to do something for RoA with it being the year of the dragon. Sorry not sorry. But that's it really.

Obviously I'll be doing more forecasts, maybe not every month because sometimes nothing of great importance happens and I doubt folks care about me talking about my 20k monthly writing session.

With me getting back into the groove of it all. I'm going to also pay more attention here and give sneak peeks. It won't be on the level that I give patreon but the blog needs some love. I'll also probably give more prompts out as well. They won't be always, but more than what I was doing which was none unless someone requested it and I was in the mood.

#monthly forecast

[ayeforscotland]

Welcome!

Hello, I'm AyeforScotland and I've been here for too long. AyeforScotland started off as a Scottish politics blog campaigning for Scottish independence but has since evolved into whatever the hell this is. The fight for Scottish independence continues - I love answering asks about it. And naturally I also discuss wider UK and International politics as well.

Politics FAQ

However, it can't all be doom and gloom - and I suppose I'm kinda 'creative' too so AyeforScotland naturally grew arms and legs and I'll list all the other stuff I do down below👇👇👇

As modest as I try to be, I'm particular proud of the community surrounding this blog and in my discord (YOU SHOULD JOIN). These are people like you who are reading this now who have educated me on a variety of topics over the past decade - and I'm still learning from them daily. I've also ran some amazing 24 hour hour charity streams for a range of charities across Scotland and the UK. So far those charities are the TIE Campaign, The Equality Network, Endometriosis UK, Galop, War Child & Cats Protection. I also co-host @theayesphere podcast every week with the wonderful @thebibliosphere. We chat about everything from politics to entertainment media, and do deep dives on games, TV and films!

Commissions

I regularly get messages asking to read, review and advise on Scottish dialogue as well as lend my voice to various projects. Commissions are open on Ko-Fi for this type of work. Just get in touch with your project and we'll get sorted.

Click here for all links

Discord - The home of the community - Filled with amazing people

Twitch - I play a variety of games on Twitch, I enjoy everything but like to focus on narrative, indie experiences. I also run community interaction games which are always a great laugh. Ko-Fi - My Ko-fi is for people who would like to support me in all the various bits and pieces I do to inform and entertain. It is hugely appreciated and often straight-up reinvested into providing more for you all. YouTube - I have a YouTube Channel I try to make content for when I can. I want to do more but time has been against me recently but there's some video essays I'm very proud of. There's also a separate AyeforScotlandVODs channel for my Twitch streams.

TikTok - Tends to be me ranting about politics or funny Twitch Highlights Twitter - The dying platform - Tumblr is far superior but you can support me as a creator there if you like. There's a few other links but I don't want this post to take forever. If you need anything or have any questions, my asks and DMs are open. Yours for Scotland, Aye

#AyeforScotland

[please1mistress]

Does the spiral draw you in? Are you sitting comfortably? Yes? Good. Now, I want you to relax... That's it; deeper and deeper. Rest your hands in your lap... Feel your shoulders loosen as your troubles melt away... If you're reading this at work, tune out your noisy co-workers... Now, while staring at the picture below, speak out loud in calm, resolute, and preferably ethereal voice: "I will read this blog post. I will click the "like" button below when I'm finished. I will read this blog post...I will click the "like" button below when I'm finished."

Is it really that simple to hypnotize you? Whether or not you believe in hypnosis, neuroscientists are now showing that the practice does indeed produce measurable effects in the brain. Hypnosis is more of a “natural” state than people imagine. You are experiencing it several times throughout your day and it doesn’t need a swinging watch to put you into a hypnotic sleep! Some people are more receptive to hypnosis than others and can expect to experience rapid changes in a course of hypnotherapy

Answer the following twelve questions in this hypnosis test to see if you and hypnosis are well-suited.

1. When the television is on, can you “switch off” and lose track of what you are watching?

 A. Frequently; “What was the name of that program?”  B. Sometimes  C. Rarely

2. When reading a good book, can you “close off” to any external distractions?

 A. Regularly; “noise, what noise?”  B. Occasionally  C. Never

3. When you go to the cinema or theatre, can you feel emotional when you see something sad?

 A. Frequently; “I’m tearful now!”  B. Sometimes  C. Hardly ever

4. When you close your eyes, how quickly can you fall asleep?

 A. Within 10 minutes (ZZZ…)  B. Within 30 minutes  C. When the alarm goes off!

5. When chatting to a close friend, do you lose track of time?

 A. Nearly always  B. On occasions  C. Can’t stop looking at my watch!

6. When you see someone else yawn, does it become contagious?

 A. Repeatedly, I’m yawning right now!  B. Now and again  C. Rarely

7. Do you salivate when thinking about sucking on or sinking your teeth into a sour, juicy lemon?

 A. Most of the time, “Get me a napkin!”  B. Sometimes  C. Hardly ever

8. When you like a new song, does it keep going round and round in your mind at the most inconvenient moments?

 A. Regularly, “La-la-la…”  B. Occasionally  C. Not very often

9. If you close your eyes, can you visualise a journey from your house to the nearest shop?

 A. Images are clear & detailed  B. Can visualise some details of the journey  C. Vague details; “Is there a shop near me?”

10. Would you (or others) consider you to be a creative person?

 A. Yes, I use my creative skills nearly every day  B. Sometimes  C. Rarely

11. When you drive to a familiar place e.g. work, does your mind switch to auto-pilot?

 A. Nearly every day  B. Sometimes  C. Hardly ever

12. If you see a crowd of people looking at something, do you tend to look in the same direction out of curiosity?

 A. Most of the time  B. Some of the time  C. Rarely

if you answer mostly A or B to most of these questions, then chances are, you are a very good hypnotic subject. Hypnotic subjects tend to have: creativity, focus, curiosity, imagination, suggestibility. The fact you are reading this tells me that deep down you want to be hypnotized. You desire that feeling of dropping and sinking for a strong and powerful hypnotist like myself. It can be as easy as me telling you that you've been hypnotized from the start of this blog, and your minds open to my words deeper each time you read my blog. Now, be sure to re-post this and draw others to me. Good boy or girl.

#hypnosis #hypnotic #brainwash #hypno sub #hypnotism #controlled #hypnotized #mind control #mesmerizing #trippy

[romanarose]

If You Wanna Be Wild: Chapter 6

Co-written with @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction my beloved Fen, who I could not do this without. Thank you for being my emotional sounding board, my dear friend, my wonderful cowriter and helpful beta reader. I adore you.

Javier Peña x Latina!sex worker!informant!Reader x Santiago Garcia

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Series Masterlist : Read on AO3

Summary: Santi takes Candy out, and Javier gets jealous, but still he defends them both. Drama erupts, and Santi finds something out about himself.

Content and warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter unless something is added: Sex work, drug trade, some drug use/pressured used, sex workers and the mistreatment/stigma surrounding them specifically in the 70’s (my blog is sex worker positive) but ima put potential dub con depending how you look at it as a sex worker who works with dangerous men, some action surrounding reader and the guys and the drug trade, SMUT HEAVY, corruption kink (were corrupting santi here, he’s young, 25), no loss of virginity tho, threesomes, some slight m/m smut but that’s not the focus here, but as you know this blog is an lgbt blog so I’m always open to gay shit. Talk of war and some PTSD but I won't be going a whole lot into it. Covert/emotional incest in the past, Santi's mommy issues, m/m dynamics, internalized bi/homophobia

For the record, this is a fic that takes place in the drug trade and deals with the darker side of humanity, so anything from Narco's and Triple Frontier is liable to be discussed or mentioned here. This is your warning. This is not a dark fic nor is it centered around dark themes like Leather and Lace or Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside, but they are open to be talked about.

Reader has a nick name: Candy. Not her real name just what she goes by on her profession. Much of the inspo for this and for the title came from the Bruce Springsteen song “Candy’s room” so check it out for the vibes.

Reader speaks Spanish and has hair. I've decided Candy is just latina bc she's a sex worker in Colombia so this is what I'm doing. Reader also has curly hair and dark skin.

ADDITIONAL WARNINGS!: Santi's panicy trauma response. Santi's mommy issues in full swing. Javier is jealous, lots of arguments. Cumming untouched, titty sucking. We're in for it boys!

THE SMUT WAS 100% WRITTEN BY THE AMAZING @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction i knew i needed mommy kink and he was the one to go to. If you like subby men, Fen, my dearest cowritter, writes great fics esp with Steven Grant <3 What Fen said when they wrote it "Yoooooo, what am I writing Romana? Madness? I think so."

6.7 words (I'm so fucking sorry okay A LOT WAS HAPPENING)

A/N Since I am apparently an incomprehensible writer, please know that the smut scene in the last chapter was not a threesome, it's Javi fingering Candy and Candy flashing back to her giving Santi a reach around handjob. I wanted to compare and contrast the way the two pairs care for and pleasure each other. but it came across as a threesome :(

Support writers! Reblog and comment!

***************

Santiago didn’t know why he was so nervous.

“What we need is to get out into the actual field!” Javier exclaimed, setting his mug down loud enough to make Santi jump. “Sorry, Garcia.” He muttered, wiping a bit of spilled coffee with his sleeve.

Santiago rolled his shoulders, reaching back to rub his spine over the scar. The surgery saved his life, but damn did it hurt. “S’alright. Listen, I had an idea, but I don’t know if it’s going to be anything. It does get us out of the office next week.”

“I’ll take it, what do you have, Pope.”

Santi smiled. “Well, the nickname is fitting. It’s a rally for the beatification of Laura Montoya.”

A smile quirked up on Javier’s grumpy face. Unbuckling his belt after a second round of stress donuts, Javi kicked his legs up on his desk. “Of course you would know that.”

“My tia invited me.” He shoved Javi’s boots off, then wiped his hands on his pants. “We know what his family looks like now, maybe they will be there? It’s something.”

Javier agreed, it was something. Tracking Lorea had not gone as well as Escabar had. Not that that was a flawless mission itself, but at least it had traction. Martin Lorea was far less public.

The pair settled into an easy rhythm of planning the event. Santiago would have to avoid his tia’s, he thought. That may be hard, considering he had 4 and several cousins who will likely be attending the event. Colombia doesn’t have a canonized saint yet, and she was recognized as venerable so her potential beautification was a big deal for Colombia. Still, he couldn’t be recognized at the rally, his family would want to talk and talk and talk and ask why he didn’t have girlfriend and talk and ask who Javier was, and Tia Lupe would ask him if he had a ‘modern arrangement’ with Javier which would make Santi sick to his stomach with anxiety and- fuck he felt like the donut he stole from Javi was coming back up.

“Gotta go, be right back.”

“I’ll be timing you.” Javier kicked his legs back up on his desk and closed his eyes.

Over the toilet, Santi dry heaved, unsure if he was really going to puke or just felt like it. What the hell was it with Javier these days that made him so anxious? Things had been going well, their friendship repaired in the months since Javier caught him and Candy together. Other than Frankie, who would always be his number one, Javi was his best friend. He’d die for him the way he’d have died for Will, Frank or Ben… but there was something more. Since the day they met, Santiago wanted nothing more than Javier’s approval, he strived for it… maybe it was that he saw Javi as a father figure, almost 15 years older than him… that wasn’t right either. He couldn’t place it until earlier this week.

The DEA ball was coming up, Javier had asked Santi if he wanted to carpool since they both didn’t have dates and lived near-by… to which Santi said he actually had a date. She was a surprise. So was the fact Javier wanted to go.

The “Oh” that had fallen out of his mouth though Santiago off. It sounded disappointed. Santi couldn’t stand Javier disappointed in him. That’s when the thought happened. ‘I wish we could just go together’ Not arrive together. Go together. As a couple. His first thought was no, that’s illegal. His second thought was no, he’d go to hell. His third was him mami, god rest her soul, would roll over in her grave.

He shook the thoughts away, but ever since then he began noticing the way he stared at Javi, the way his body buzzed with any incidental touch… He had to shove it down.

Certainly, Javier was open-minded, but he would to spend as much time as he did with him if he was gay, right? He wouldn’t incite Santi over for futball games on the tv, he wouldn’t take him with him to get lunch… he wouldn’t even want to work with him. It would all be over.

That’s what made Santi sick.

That, and the anxiety over who his secret date was.

*

You didn’t know why you were so goddamn nervous.

You had to admit, you were very surprised when Santiago showed up for his regularly scheduled appointment, flowers in hand, asking you to join him at the ball.

“Santi… sweetie… I don’t know…”

His large eyes looked nervous. “It’s a job! I’ll pay you, I’m not expecting anything free! And I I know what you’re gonna say, I don’t care about Javi freaking out. Imean, if you care I don’t wanna pressure you of course! I’m not trying to come between you guys, but I doubt he’ll even show. He hates these things.”

“It’s not that I’m worried about…” You take the flowers, thanking him genuinely, and walking to your kitchen. Santiago anxiously paced your walls, trailing his hands over your posters. “Sweetheart, I know we have a good time, but I am a prostitute, you know this.”

“I swear, I don’t have any notions about us being in love… I just want you there.”

Placing the flowers in the vase, you turn to look at him. “I just… well…” You hesitate, unsure how to not freak the poor kid out. “oh my god, there's no polite way to say this, but, Javier is far from the only DEA agent I’ve slept with. Hell, I slept with the janitor once.”

“Mario’s a cool guy, I don’t blame you.”

“What I’m saying is,” She sighed out her words. “You’re a sweet young man, and I know you’re a lot younger than most of the guys there. I don’t want to cause you any trouble-”

“Candy-”

“And I know I’ll cause you trouble if I’m there. They are going to make fun of you for bringing a hooker to a ball.”

He shook his head. “I don’t care. There’s no one else I want there with me but you, and I don’t care what Javier says, or any of them for that matter.”

You smile softly at the young man. He was earnest, but although you believed he didn’t care about the other guys at the precinct, you didn’t believe him for one second about Javi. Santiago worshiped the ground Javier walked on, it was clear by the way he talked about his partner.

“If you really don’t care, then yes, I’d love to go.”

His youthful face lit up. “Really?!”

“Yes” You giggle. “It sounds like a great night.”

Santiago ran to you, making you squeal as he threw you over his shoulder. “I’m gonna make you cum so many fucking times on my face, Candy, you don’t even know.”

You had to admit you were a little nervous. A lot nervous. He said he didn't think Javier would be there, but you weren’t sure, and hadn’t had a chance to try and prod him for information. You’d asked around, and Javi had been spending several nights with Gabby. This was not unusual, he was known to bounce around women, but he always came back to you. Today, though, it made you jealous as all hell. Santiago made you nervous too.

You wanted to at least make a good impression for him, so you went out and bought a brand new evening gown for the occasion, something classy, showing the curves but not your tits. Your big Farrah Faucet curls that usually accompanied a night with Lorea and his men were dialed down more to a simple look, your make-up more natural that a night on the town with high rollers would see. Still you were beautiful and you knew it. Just less like a hooker.

*

Javier didn’t know why he was so fucking nervous. He never went to these stupid things, much preferring to spend a night undressed with his cock buried between a pretty woman’s legs than stuff himself into a suit that had only gotten tighter in recent years. But, Pope was gonna be there, he was gonna be dressed up in some overdone suite, Javi just knew it. And his stupid curls would be slicked back and inevitably a few would pop out and he’d spend the night trying to keep them back but they would want to be wild and he’d eventually mess with his hair too much and it’d be all every-which-way and, and, and…

So maybe he was late. So maybe he was a little tipsy. Maybe he had been taking pulls of a flask in the back of a taxi but there was coke baggie and a cum stain on the seat so was it really the worst the car had seen? He pulled up to the dance in his too-tight suit, stumbling out a bit, and attempted to find his way inside. He didn’t really want to see Santi dancing with a girl, but if he didn’t show, Santi would worry, and Javi didn’t like Santi worrying.

Javier hoped she was nice. A nice girl because he was a nice young man. Someone to take care of him in some ways, to let him care for her in others… Javi knew he could take care of Sant. He had when he was sick, hadn’t he? Therein lied the reason Javi was drunk. The burn of the liquor was to press down the feeling he couldn’t ignore sober. He wanted Santiago.

“Buenas noche, amigos. ¿Has visto Santiago?”

Javi asked as he stumbled on a few men from the DEA chattering in a corner

One of the men, Freddy, chuckled, taking a sip of his beer. “Oh, you haven't seen him yet?”

This caused all the men to laugh, but Javier didn’t get the joke. He got the feeling whatever it was, they were laughing at Santi. Javier knew Santi hadn’t really clicked with the men. He was too straight laced, too honest… too good.

“The fuck does that mean?” Javier asked with an obvious bit of bite. Santiago was his to protect.

“Young Garcia came here with a whore on his arm.” Another man, Josue, with a patchy mustache he should just call it quits on attempting to grow replies. “Wonder if he knows what she is, or if he’s going to wake up to a nasty bill in the morning.”

The group laughs, and Javier feels panic rising inside him. No. No way. Santiago couldn’t possibly be that stupid, could he? He was the smartest man Javier knew. He’d never risk her like this… 

Freddy continued when he saw Javi’s confused look. “Yeah, Pena, thats what I thought too!” He said with a laugh that Javier knew was not the good natured ribbing he gave Santi. “You know Candy?”

“Uh, yeah, sounds familiar.” The room was spinning, lights and smoke and colors starting to blur.

“The whore on 7th that lets you play rough? Yeah, her.”

Javier snapped to attention again. “What did you just say?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe it either!” He turns to another man Javier doesn’t have it in him to focus on. “I bet Virgin Maria thinks he’s in love.”

Grabbing him by the shoulder, Javier turned Freddy to him. “What the fuck did you say about Garcia?”

“Relaje, Pena. You call him Pope, different name, same meaning.”

But it wasn’t. Santi was Javi’s friend, Javier cared about him. Javier called him Pope to his face and if he thought it upset him, Javi wouldn’t do it. Freddy and the guys were calling him Virgin Maria behind his back, intending on being assholes. It was meant to hurt, it wasn’t true (Santi wasn’t a virgin even before Candy), it was meant to make a mockery of his good nature, his religion, and his morals. The effeminate name was meant to mock his slight build and stature as well as his passive nature. None of them knew the Santiago that Javier knew. They didn’t know the intelligent, compassionate, incredibly capable young former special opes agent who had saved his life multiple times and had given more break throughs on Lorea than he could could.

“Tell me again what you said about Candy.”

*

Despite the fact everyone was staring at them, you had never seen Santi so happy, so relaxed. He had a few drinks and for his small body it probably left him feeling warm and content. You had opted to stay mostly sober, only drinking one glass of white wine from the open bar; Santiago’s generous and soft smile to the bartender only endeared him to you more. 

He was so much fun like this. You loved the time you spent with him in bed, that was fun too, but you’d also come to genuinely enjoy the moments where he wasn’t making you orgasm on his lips again and again. You genuinely cared when you asked him about his day, and had made a mental note of all the names he mentioned at the precinct that were causing him problems that you recognized. You weren’t sure how without outting him, but you’d figure out some way to fuck with them. One who was a massive dick to him, Freddy, was also a massive dick to you too.

Santi was indulging in a cupcake, telling a story of his friend Benny hitting on a woman only to realize her husband was standing next to her.

“It took me, his brother Will, Fish and Redfly to break the fight up. He still won’t go in that neighborhood anymore!” Santi giggles, taking a bite of the vanilla.

You laugh along; he’s an entertaining story teller. “Did he learn his lesson?”

“No! No! That’s the best part!” Santi said as he waved his hands excitedly. “He immediately, and I mean as soon as we cleaned the blood off his face, went and hit on another girl! And you wanna know the worst part?”

“It worked?”

“It work- how did you know that?”

“Women are easy, Santi.” Swaying to the music, you set his cupcake down. He has frosting on his upper lip, just under where his mustache sat.. “We love our men bloodied.” You pull him in close, eyeing his upper lip for the frosting, but he looks like he’s going for a kiss, and who are you to deny such a handsome man?

“Even when they lose?” He speaks, voice soft and sultry. Santi’s eye flick to your lips, his own push pillows parting to receive you.

“Especially when they lose.” You close the gap, taking his lips in yours and licking your tongue over his sugar-covered upper lip, brushing over his mustache. Sweet, just like him. Your sweet man. 

For a moment, you are lost in him, the sounds of the Jim Croce floating in the air.

'Cause every time I tried to tell you

The words just came out wrong

So I'll have to say I love you in a song’

*

CRASH!

Immediately, at the sound of excitement, Santiago is in front of you, guarding your body with his. He doesn’t move, thinking clearly and assessing the situation; looking for where the danger is at and where the best exit points may be. Keep Candy safe. Keep Candy safe. His only goal was her, keep her away from any narcos, terrorists, freedom fighters or drunken men that might be causing a stir. When the center of the commotion was coming from the north, Santiago took Candy’s hand and began to take her to one of the south exits, a lesser used one with less potential for a second assailant, when he felt her tug away.

“JAVI!” She shouts, running towards the danger in high heels, rust colored skirt fluttering just as her flowy sleeves did.

“CANDY!” Running after her, he catches up with ease without the hindrance of heels. Santi tries to stop her, not wanting her near the drunken brawl, but she is on a single minded mission. Javier was under Freddy, who Santiago did not like, and getting the shit beat out of him. If he had a second more, if his focus wasn’t so on Candy, he would have beat her too it… but Candy was quicker

Santiago watches in surprise as she lifts her skirt, pulling a knife out of her garter, getting behind Freddy and gripping his hair hard, knife to his throat.

Everything was a deadly calm, everyone saying so, so still to not disturb the crazy woman with a knife. When Santi looked to Javier to check if he was okay, he saw Javi looking up at her with his big brown eyes, clearly fucking enamored.

“Freddy, get off of him before I tell everyone the weird shit you’re into.”

The next few minuets were a blur. As soon as Freddy was off Javier and Candy’s knife was off him, he was a big man again and the group began arguing. Santiago couldn’t quite pick up what it was about except “KEEP HIS NAME OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!” From Javi.

They were all three escorted out by security; weapons weren’t allowed at the ball.

Outside the doors, a second argument erupted.

Candy tried to approach Javier. “Javi, baby, are you-” But as her hands reached for his swollen face, the older agent stepped back and turned his attention to his mentee. “Are you fucking stupid, Garcia?!”

Santi and Candy both are taken aback by this, but it’s Candy that speaks first. “Don’t talk to him like that!” 

Javier’s anger is turned back to her. “And you! You should know better than this! Than coming here!”

She rolls her eyes. “Javi. It’s literally a part of my job, I’m an escort.”

“FOR DRUG DEALERS!” Javier shouts, throwing his hands in the air and stumbling back. “Not for YOU!”

“So what, he’s too good for me to take out? Dirty whore like me belongs in dirty nightclubs and dirty crackhouses?”

“Oh for fucks sake THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT!”

Instinctively, Santi places himself slightly in front of Candy. “Tone it down, Pena.”

His icy glare turns condescending as a short, drunk, sardonic laugh escapes him. “HA! Do you think you’re in love, Santiago? Do you think you’ll be the magical man that can ‘save her’? That’s not how this works! You aren’t supposed to be bringing prostitutes to government functions, you absolute IDIOT! And you’re especially not supposed to bring HER!”

“ENOUGH!” Candy shouts at him, eyes flashing in anger. “You don’t get to tell him what he can and can’t do, Javi! And you certainly do not have possession over me! I am not yours! Just because we fuck does not mean you own me, and you don’t get to decide who I sleep with. Like you said, I am a prostitute, one of SEVERAL you frequent, so I wouldn’t be getting too high and mighty about being careful when everyone knows Helena nearly died working for you! I am not yours!”

Javier scoffs. “Oh, and he is? You think he’s your little lover boy, someone to play pretend that you are having a normal relationship with? He’s a scared child, he’s terrified of intimacy and thinks a finger in the ass will send him to hell!”

“Javier, fucking stop it right now.”

“He can’t protect you! He can’t take care of you!”

“Oh, and you can?”

“YES!”

Javier’s shouted words hung in the air, dripping with anger and venom. Santi simply watches, watches them like a scared child watching his parents fight, wishing it would just fucking stop, but it won’t. Not between them. Javier doesn’t back down and Candy isn’t scared of him.

Then, Candy starts to laugh. It’s short little laughs at first but grows louder. “Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME JAVI!” She laughs once more before shaking her head, tugging a bit at her hair as she walks a short circle. Candy shook her head, suddenly calm. “Thunder only happens when it’s raining, players only love you when they’re playing.”

Javi blinked, his voice now noticeably slurred. “What the actual fuck was that.”

Santi stepped up, sliding an arm around Candy’s waist. If she said what she wanted to say, he wanted to guide her away from Javier before he could be more hurtful to her. “It’s from Fleetwood Mac, Javi. You’d know that if you cared enough about her to look into her interests.”

Candy turned to him then, surprised, her soft eyes looking towards him; the hint of a smile on her face.

Javier, however, looked bewildered. “Her interests?You. Are not. DATING HER!”

“I still care about her!” Santiago defended himself. “Just because I’m not a sad slut who can’t emotionally attach to anyone anymore doesn’t mean I treat her like she’s not a person!”

Javier looked like he was about to speak, then shook his head. “This is fucking insane. This is not a Hollywood movie, there is no happy ending here, FUCK YOU GUYS and FUCK THE GODDAMN PRESINCT”

With that, Javier stormed off, angrily mumbling about one thing or another and his broad form shrunk down the street.

It was then Santi felt her begin to shake. Thinking quick, he took off his sports coat and wrapped it around her. “Hey, hey bebita,¿Estás bien?”

“Si” She shook her head a bit, then turned to him with an irritated look “He just really pisses me off sometimes, you know?”

Santi chuckled. “I know. He’s an asshole, let’s not worry about him, okay?” He wrapped his arms around her, and Candy allowed herself to sink into him. Santiago felt her relax, laying her head on him. He was angry, so fucking angry at Javier for the things he said to Candy, the way he spoke to her, it was hurting with jaw with how much he was clenching it… but it was clear Candy was upset too. His feelings didn’t matter, her’s did. He needed to be her man, be her strength, so he pushed his feelings aside.

Through the doors of the ballroom they could still here the live music playing, and he felt Candy gasp as The Eagle’s hit song, Peaceful Easy Feeling, began.

“I love this song…” She whispered, beginning to sway to the music. The stars were out, shining on her. It felt like they shined for her alone.

‘I like the way your sparkling earrings lay

Against your skin, it's so brown’

“I know.” Santi whispered against her skin. “I asked them to play it.” He sang the next line into her skin.

‘Y quiero dormir contigo en el desierto esta noche

Con mil millones de estrellas alrededor’

Candy took her head off him to look into his eyes. Fuck, she was pretty. So so pretty. He wanted her with him all the time, even though he knew it wasn’t possible. He wasn’t in love. Santi wasn’t sure he was capable of romantic love, honestly. He wasn’t sure he was capable of a love that was safe. But whatever he had with Candy right now it was good.

“You requested this song for me?”

‘'Cause I gotta peaceful easy feeling

And I know you won't let me down

'Cause I'm already standing

On the ground’

“Of course I did… wanted to make sure there was music you liked.” Santiago stroked her hair, careful to not mess it up, just enough to feel her. He began to dance with her in earnest.

“You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever met, you know that?”

“And I found out a long time ago

What a woman can do to your soul

Ah, but she can't take you anyway

You don't already know how to go”

Santiago twirled her, making Candy giggle. 

“You listen to Fleetwood Mac?” She asked him through her laughs.

‘And I gotta peaceful easy feeling

And I know you won't let me down

'Cause I'm already standing

On the ground’

He shrugged. “I didn’t until I saw you had three albums, a Fleetwood Mac poster AND a Stevie Nicks poster.”

“So you… just decided to listen?”

“They're clearly important to you.”

He sings to her once again in Spanish

‘Tengo este presentimiento de que te conozco

Como amante y como amiga’

Candy whispers in his ear. “I enjoy our time together. I hope you know that. I do consider you a lover and a friend, Santiago.”

‘But this voice keeps whispering

In my other ear, tells me

I may never see you again’

Santiago believed her, but the ever-presant anxiety inside him told him this was temperary. Don’t feel safe, don’t feel comfortable. You are expendable. You are only loved as long as you are useful. You are only loved as long as you are perfect and good and right all the time. You can never mess up. If you do, WHEN you do, she’ll walk away just like Javi did. Still, he shakes these thoughts off and tries to focus on her. Focus on Candy. 

‘Porque tengo un sentimiento tranquilo y pacifico

Y se que decepcionarás

Porque ya estoy parado

En el suelo’

As the song ended, Santi dipped a giggling Candy down low, admiring the way the dress flowed over her beautiful body.

“Hey Candy, they aren’t gonna let us back in there, wanna hop some shitty bars?”

“I’d like nothing more, Santiago.”

*

Back at his apartment, Candy and Santi giggled their way into his bedroom. A slightly tipsy Santi flopped down on his bed, sighing out a declaration that this was the best night of his life. When he opens his eyes again, he sees you smiling at him. He thinks that he wants to see you in his home more often.

“You look really pretty in that dress, you know that?” Santi says with a love-sick smile plastered all over his face. 

You can’t help but smile back, unable to hamper the little laugh that lightens your chest. He was a bit more tipsy than you’d thought. 

He pouts a little, being overly dramatic on purpose as he leans up on his elbows, his left leg half hanging off the bed as you stand watching him. 

“Don’t laugh.” He pulls a face that has the opposite effect. 

You don’t give him the chance to retort again and poke his foot with your index finger, while you school your face into a mock disapproving scowl. “Shoes on in bed?” You tut, expecting another pout and tease back from him, a shrug and a chorus of ‘Well it’s my bed, I can do whatever I want.’ 

But instead, his eyes widened a little, a small dusting of light pink blossoming over his brown cheeks and nose and highlighting his faint freckles. “S-sorry.” He mumbles quickly, scrabbling up into a sitting position to undo his laces. He’s pulled off one shoe and dropped it carefully to the floor before you even have a chance to register what he’s doing. 

“Hey, hey,” you sit down next to him, your thigh touching his, and stroke your left hand through his curls. They’re a little stiffer than usual from the product he used for the occasion; it hasn’t stopped more than a few rough strands from breaking free though. 

Santi leans into your touch instantly, instinctively closing his eyes and sighing, a weight lifting from his ribs. You wouldn’t be surprised if he started purring. 

“You okay?” You whisper, continuing to run your fingers softly through his hair. 

He nods and hums an affirmative. 

You’re about to ask again, unable to stop yourself from double-checking his well-being. That seed of affection for Santi that first settled in your heart weeks ago has now grown and rooted into your chest, its vines and leaves twisted around your rib cage, seeking out your love like sunlight. 

Just as the words form on your tongue you notice the not-so-subtle bulge in his trousers and bite back a smile. 

Ah.

Not distress. Not panic. Nothing like that at all. Not right now, anyway.

Santi can’t see your expression with his eyes closed. He’s shifted closer, his temple gently against your shoulder as you stroke his hair. He sighs happily, almost dreamily. 

It’s nice to see him like this, relaxed into your touch. He too often seems anxious, worried, worrying about his military friends, worried about Javi, worried about his family although those details remain vague. He’s mentioned his sisters lives in the US, Atlanta she thought, his tia’s he saw so often here, and every now and then a brief mention of his mom but only in passing. You place a soft kiss on his forehead, leaving a faint lipstick stain on his skin and he presses closer to you, nuzzling into the nape of your neck. 

Languidly you run your free hand up his thigh, just tracing your fingers over his crotch before you squeeze. 

The sharp, low moan that escapes his lips is more than worth it, though the gasped word that tumbles out is a bit of a surprise. 

“Mommy,” 

He freezes instantly, his eyes going wide and teeth audibly snapping shut. In less than a second he’s racking his brain, trying to work out how, why, where did that word come from? What deep, dark recess of his mind forced that word to the surface? Something was wrong with him. Something fundamentally wrong with him, deep down in the recesses of his brain. He was fucked up. He was going to hell.

Maybe you hadn’t heard it. Maybe you wouldn’t notice it. But already Santi knew those hopes were a lost cause. The way your hand had tightened momentarily in his hair the second it slipped past his tongue. He’d had a drink, a few drinks- although they’d mostly worn off throughout the night- that was a good enough excuse right? Oh god. What must you think? What would you-

“You’re my good boy, aren’t you?” Your voice was low and sweet, a caress to his very soul and he shivered in spite of himself, moaning again and squeezing his eyes shut as you stroked his painfully hard cock. 

He nodded his head rapidly, not wanting to disappoint you. He’d be good, he’d be so fucking good for you. His breath hot on your neck as he pressed closer, angling his body completely towards you with a soft whimper. 

You continued stroking him for a moment longer, pressing the heel of your palm firmly against his thick base before you unzipped his fly and flicked open his trouser buttons. You always loved this, loved how needy he got, how desperate for you.

Santi groaned loudly, his lips against your neck, half muffling his words against your skin as he squirmed into your touch. 

“Hmm?” You halted your actions teasingly, waiting for him to repeat himself. 

The small sob and bob of his throat nearly broke your resolve, but he pulled his face away from you a fraction to speak. 

“Mommy, please,” he whispered. 

You couldn’t help yourself, it wasn’t like it was the first man to call you ‘mommy’ in bed, but there was something about sweet, innocent Santi who had blushed his way through your first encounter not that long ago speaking that world that set your blood ablaze. 

“Please what?” You teased. 

He squirmed again, bucking helplessly against your hand. “Please?”

“You’re gonna have to use a few more words than that pretty boy, or I won’t be able to help you.”

Santi let out an anguished sigh, pressing his face into your neck once more.

Quickly, you moved your hand away from his weeping cock and firmly pinched his chin between your fingers, pulling him back ever so slightly so that you could look into his dark brown eyes as you title his face up. 

“If you don’t speak, Mommy won’t be able to help you.” 

Santi audibly moaned, his eyes rolling back for a split second before he shut them tight. His dick twitched uncontrollably. 

“Yes, please, sorry, I’ll be good, I’ll be a good boy.” His words were all rushed together and there was a hazy look to his gaze when he opened his eyes again, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. 

You petted his hair gently. “I know you will be, Mommy’s got you, sweetheart.”

He whimpered, rubbing his thighs together with every word. 

“Now, tell me what you want.” 

“Can I,” he swallowed again, placing his hand on the zip of your dress, “can I undo this?” 

That wasn’t what you expected him to say, and you raised an eyebrow at him lazily as you smiled and nodded. 

Santi let out a little nervous breath before hastily undoing the dress and carefully slipping it off your shoulders and down to your waist. You weren’t wearing a bra.

He held his breath as he gazed at your chest, his left hand hovering just above your skin as he stared with reverence. As if he hadn’t seen you semi-naked many, many times before. 

You stroked his hair again. “You’re such a good buy, aren’t you? Asking for what you need?” You say softly, just to gently break him out of his trance. You did enjoy teasing him, but never for very long. He always listened, always did as he was told, and you were happy to reward him

He nods quickly, never taking his eyes off your breasts. The tip of his tongue pokes out and wets his bottom lip. 

Ever so slowly he leans forward, placing a light, sweet kiss to your lips, the corner of your mouth, your cheek, before trailing down to your neck and collarbone. His kisses get messier, wetter, more urgent the further down he goes and you don’t expect him to pause, panting against your skin. 

He looks up at you with large eyes that send a shudder of heat through your core. “Can I kiss your breasts… mommy?” He adds the name shyly, looking down momentarily so that his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks. 

You keep stroking his hair as you nod, hooking your fingers around the nape of his neck and guiding him towards your chest. He takes the small movement and runs with it instantly, surging forward and covering your breasts in desperate, wet kisses. Switching back and forth between them constantly as if he simply had to lavish each with the exact same amount of attention. He moans as he lightly bites and sucks, his hands digging into your skin as he holds onto you for dear life. 

You press him closer, urging him on by digging your fingers into his curls and scratching your nails along his scalp. He rewards you with another muffled groan, the vibrations reverberating along your skin and sending a shiver of pleasure down your spine. 

Santi pushes closer, the force nearly knocking you onto your back as he latches onto your left nipple. You brace your right hand on the bed behind you so that you can keep your balance. 

“Such a good boy Santi.” You whisper and he whines, looking up at you once with lazy, lust-blown eyes as he keeps his mouth against you. He sucks demandingly, the sensation almost bordering on too much, but still somehow not enough, and swirls his tongue around your nipple before lapping at it and starting the process all over again. His hips are bucking desperately, but he doesn’t dare ask for attention. He knows you’ll take care of him. You always will.

He sighs, shifting, simultaneously trying to get something and not knowing what he wants at the same time. 

You know what he needs though. 

You coo at him, soothing and sweet as you pull in closer into your arms, cradling his head as you gently ease him into your lap. He moans so loudly, the sound quickly becoming a whine in his throat as you embrace him.

For a few seconds, he seems to relax into you, all the stress of the day and previous weeks and months draining from his soul and bones as he gently sucks. But then he starts to squirm, his thighs shaking and stomach muscles tensing. He pulls his mouth off of you with a pop and low, desperate groan. His eyes shut tight and eyebrows knitted together as he whines and presses his forehead against your skin.

“Gonna cum.” At the very back of his mind he has a sense that he should be embarrassed, embarrassed that he’s this far gone and going to cum practically untouched. But he can’t fight the pleasure as it bubbles up his spine, doesn’t want to. 

“You can cum Santi,” you whisper in his ear. “You’re such a good boy, cum for Mommy.” 

He shakes his head, unsure why, tears at the very corners of his eyes, “please.”

“It’s okay,” you soothe, holding him tight and kissing his temple. “I’m here.” 

He moans loudly, latching back onto your breast and sucking for all he’s worth.

“Mommy’s here.” 

He groans again, pulling away a fraction to get his words out. His voice is breath and high. “Want Mommy to cum.” 

The pleading in his voice spikes at the throbbing arousal in your core. “Santi, it’s okay-”

His whine is muffled against your chest as he reaches down, sliding his hands between your legs to caress your body the way he knows you like. You’d taught him exactly how you want to be touched, exactly how you touch yourself. He was an eager learner.

“Santi,” you manage to breathe out through his messy desperate kisses. 

“Mommy needs to cum now please,” he murmurs, his speech slurred against your tongue, 

Your breath catches, thighs squirming as he strokes you, the movements soft but sure. It only takes an embarrassingly short time before you’re moaning into his mouth and tensing as your release overtakes you in a rush. 

When it’s clear you’ve cum, he tenses, his orgasm following through him and bursting behind his eyes. His cock throbs as he empties himself into his pants. You smile softly at his face as his forehead pinches in bliss, your hand still stroking his hair. 

There’s a pause, a small moment of quiet just before he sighs deeply, feeling weak and boneless. And then he looks up at you with his dark, dark eyes. The softness, the relief, the adoration… the sleepiness. 

“So good, Santiago… you’re so good. My perfect boy…”

Santi sighs against your skin, relishing in the tender moment as you play with his hair. “Was that weird?” He mumbles into your skin.

“Noooo, no not at all. It’s very common, actually.”

He looks up at you through heavy lids and suspicious eyes. “Really?”

“Oooooh yeah.” You chuckle. “More often than you think. I’m not here to judge anyone.”

He doesn’t seem convinced, but he seems to relax. “Okay. Yeah. Okay.”

You opt to not talk about it anymore, at least for the time being. He’s so tired right now, coming hard and untouched, and you decide it’s time to put him to bed. By the time you lay him from your lap to his pillow, he’s half asleep, so you opt with minimal dress. Gentle, you unbutton his shirt and slowly, carefully slide his shirt off. When you take off his trousers and underwear fully, you replace them with sweats. You think he’s asleep, breathing slowly and eyes closed. He looks positively angelic. When your getting ready to zip up your dress again, and make your exit, you hear his voice once more.

“Stay the night?”

You sigh. “Santi, I dunno if that’s a good idea…”

His eyes open slightly, just enough so you can see him. “Please, I’ll pay you whatever you want, I just don’t want tonight to end…”

He looks so vulnerable in this moment… and you don’t want this night to end either. Rules be damned. Santi was different. Santi was better. Santi was good. And you?  You deserved some damn good.

“Don’t pay me, I’ll stay.”

Santiago sits up ever so slightly. “No, no Candy this is your job. I don’t expect free-”

“It’s not free, honey.” You begin to strip down, Santi’s sleepy eyes drifting down your naked body, staring at the knife at your garter. “We’re going to sleep, just like I would at home. And tomorrow, you’ll make me breakfast. Sound like a fair trade?” The truth was, sleeping with Santi, actually sleeping with Santi, sounded wonderful. You didn’t want it to feel like a transaction. 

So, you slip into his clothes. You wear a tee shirt and sweats and climb into his bed where you think he’s actually asleep this time. He snores lightly. He sleeps on his stomach, so you rub his back. He feels nice. 

You want better for him. You want him to have a stable life, a loving wife who wasn’t a whore, kids if he wanted them, his family and friends surrounding him. He should have to live in danger, work a dangerous job. He should be allowed to be happy. It wasn’t a life you could give him, you knew… but you could imagine.

You kiss the scar on his spine.

******************

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for reading!!!!

If you're still hear, please drop a lil HI! It's 12 pm here, inching towards 1 but i promised to put this out so i will!!!

Everyone PLEASE GIVE A ROUND OF APPLOUSE FOR FEN FOR THE SMUT IN THE COMMENTS AND REBLOGS SO I CAN MAKE SURE THEY SEE ALL THE LOVE

I hope everyone is saying as safe as they can be in these temps, my heart goes out to all those struggling but especially those in war zones, poverty, homelessness, or in areas that were previously never this cold and thus unprepared for a harsh winter. I know us northerners joke about how cold we get, but I know its different when your infrastructure isnt equipped to take this on.

So tell me friends

Did Javier have a reason to be mad at Santi?

Or was he overreacting?

TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE ARGUEMENT AND YOUR THOTS ON OUR DEAR SANTI

@runa-falls @lunar-ghoulie @campingwiththecharmings @whatthefishh @persephone-girl @criticalarchitecture @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @beelzebeth87 @pimosworld @millerscoffee @heareball @thatwonderouswoman @poolb @meveispunk @lovable-liar @millllenniawrites @read-and-wip @missdictatorme @the-fox-den @milkymoon2483 @k-ra @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @rosellacwrites @legendary-pink-dot @dreamingofbucky @englandsgray @starsthatwatch @fairlyang @alwaysmicado @theywhowriteandknowthings @casa-boiardi @lostfleurs @ninebluehearts @puglover12 @sub-aro @laiisleiite @itspdameronthings @heareball @comfortlessjoy @csarab615 @calaveramangonda @bit-dodgy-innit @stevngrant @kirsteng42 @mrsjavierp @nanfafnan @lovable-liar @axshadows @cookielovesbook-akie @reallyrallyauthor @solar-fics @criticalarchitecture

#javier peña x reader #javier peña #triple frontier #santiago garcia #santiago garcia reader #fem reader #santiago garcia x reader #santiago garcia x you #santiago garcia smut #santiago pope garcia #javier peña smut #narcos #pedro pascal #oscar isaac #romana writes #romana writes smut #narcos fanfiction #narcos smut #triple frontier smut #pedro pascal smut #latina reader #santiago garcia x javier pena #javier pena x santiago garcia #latina!reader #m/m fanfic

[starsurface]

Hey Superstar, your group posts are fab! Liu Kang, Johnny, Kenshi, Raiden and Kung Lao with a diapered babyspace regressor please. Make sure to rest with how long that list is! 🧸💛

Hi!!!! Of course you can, loved the idea!!! And I'll make sure to rest!! :D 🩷🤟

Also, SHBHFBHDGBSHBGDS, I LOVE THE NICKNAME, IT WAS SO CUTE THANK YOU!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

A quick restate from my last Padded Request:

(Some strong languageuse) Before we get to the hcs, I want to say that there is nothing wrong with using or needing diapers. Some people use diapers use them for weird kink related things, but with age regression they are used for comfort and unfortunate inconvenience. Do not come to my blog because you wish to relate this with any kind of kink. Kindly fuck off and leave my blog alone, thank you.

^ This isn’t to bash regressors btw!!! This is me saying to fuck off if your a dd/lg or any type of blog like that. <3

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

CG Liu Kang, Johnny, Kenshi, Raiden, & Kung Lao w/ Babyspace Regressor That Uses Diapers Hcs

🌟 It was a little day!! Liu Kang had made sure they (he) had free time after training so you could have some little time with your favorite caregiver (s) <3

⭐️ . . . The other four found out his plan, so they decided to ‘intive’ (crash) his little time with you 🙄

❤️ You had regressed small, very small, small enough for babbles or semi nonverbal

🌩 Unfortunately, you might have some accidents this young :(

🍖 If you normally wear padding while small, Raiden will check in on you every so often

🌟 He doesn't want you to have an accident and not tell them (they all don't, but he was the decider so that they wouldn't storm you by accident with questions)

⭐️ If you normally don't wear padding and do have an accident, they're all very comforting about it 

❤️ You didn't know how it happened though!! You were stacking blocks with Kung Lao, and then suddenly you really had to go potty, and you really tried to push it off, it couldn't 

🌩 Kenshi (enhanced senses) was the first to notice, quietly rushing over and asking if you were alright 

🍖 Kung Lao also noticed very quickly, since he was playing with you, and quickly got up to go get Liu Kang or Raiden

🌟 Johnny was helping them make lunch, and was the first of the three (four plus Kung Lao?) of them to run to you

⭐️ He coed softly, picking you up (and away from Kenshi) and softly bouncing you, rubbing your back

❤️ Kenshi and him helped you calm down, especially if you were crying

🌩 There was no reason to feel ashamed for having an accident baby, everybody has them sometimes!!

🍖 Liu Kang and Raiden set up a nice bath for you, and Kung Lao got you a soft outfit to wear

🌟 Whoever you decide to help you with bath time (if you're okay with that) makes sure to make it fun!!!

⭐️ Liu Kang's baths relaxing, he'll give you a bath bomb, some toys, and will play whatever type of games you like 

❤️ Raiden's baths are very soft and gentle, light splashes, showing him any toy you wanted, some bubbles

🌩 Kenshi's baths are peaceful, but still super fun! Some nice smelly lotions and bubbles!! He'll have a splash fight with you too!!

🍖 Johnny's baths are exciting!! Bunch of bubbles, putting them on both you and him, drawing on the walls together with those bath crayon things

🌟 Kung Lao's baths are super energetic!! Racing your toy ducks (you get to win), water splashing everywhere!!!

⭐️ They all try really hard to get you no longer upset about your small accident, and instead try to focus on fun time

❤️ If you don't like baths, they'll help you shower!! It's Liu Kang's shower, so he made sure to put in a shower bench (mostly for regressors, or Kenshi)

🌩 They'll do everything they do for a bath with a shower, with slight modifications ofc

🍖 Whoever you decided to share bathtime with will dry you off in the fluffiest towel Johnny's owns, and dress you into a cute/comfy outfit

🌟 Johnny feels really bad about your accident, so he'll make you a bowl of ice cream

⭐️ They're all actually really comforting afterwards, because accidents are never fun, especially when you have five people trying to comfort you at once and it can be a little overwhelming :(

❤️ Raiden and Liu Kang are really good at changes!!

🌩 Riadens a big brother, and uses padding himself, so he knows a lot of the tricks and tips

🍖 Liu Kang has been around for a super, super, super long time, he's had a ton of practice

🌟 Kenshi and Johnny are okay, but not he greatest

⭐️ Johnny iffy, especially at first, he would over do the powder, or the straps would be too difficult, but he got the hang of it

❤️ With Sento, Kenshi’s pretty decent at diaper, the problem is without Sento (He tries really hard to change you without using Sento’s guide, he’s getting better!!)

🌩 I was originally going to put him last, but I actually think the best of them all is Kung Lao

🍖 In past games, it’s hinted that the Kung Family is decently big (hyposithis, but still) and plus he has Kung Jin as either a nephew/cousin, so he probably has a brother/sister of some sort

🌟 So he’s actually really quick and tries to make you laugh so you’re not embarrassed and have a fun time <3

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I'm going to do the Pet Regressors Taven and Daegon Hcs soon!! I just gotta rewatch Armageddon and wanna watch the 3 hours instead of the 1 hour. :3

#age regression #agere #sfw age regression #mortal kombat agere #sfw agere #age regression headcanons #mk agere #mk1 #mk1 headcanons #mortal kombat 1 headcanons #cg johnny cage #caregiver johnny cage #cg liu kang #caregiver liu kang #caregiver kenshi takahashi #cg kenshi takahashi #cg raiden #caregiver raiden #cg kung lao #caregiver kung lao #mortal kombat x reader #Johnny cage x reader #kenshi x reader #kung lao x reader #raiden x reader #liu kang x reader #Johnny cage #kenshi takahashi #raiden #kung lao

[allegras-sunflower]

Even if she hadn’t intentionally copied Get Him Back did no one on the team notice the similarities? Guts wasnt released so long ago that it could be referential and her fans constantly accuse Olivia Rodrigo of copying. How secure is she in her PR?

I've seen some other blogs saying TS didn't accept editing for this album (which would explain so many songs that feel unfinished) so maybe that's the reason. But, I'll be honest with you, something tells me that's not it.

The truth is TS had a loong history of ripping off other artists and getting away with it. Everybody mentions Lana and Florence as the biggest examples, but I’m old enough to remember a song by Matt Nathanson with the line "I forget about you long enough to forget why I need to" like, ten years before ATW came out. And I know one could argue TS maybe didn't know him and his song... if not for the fact she wrote down the lyrics of another one of his songs on her arm during her Speak Now tour.

TS had been getting away with plagiarism for so long I think she honestly thought people wouldn't notice. And maybe they wouldn't have, hadn't she herself put the focus on posible similitudes between hers and Olivia's songs when she sued her.

Edit: Don’t take my word for it, have some sources.

https://americansongwriter.com/did-taylor-swift-borrow-lyrics-from-matt-nathanson/

#anti taylor swift #swifties dni #matt nathanson #plagiarism

[monstersinthecosmos]

but now the cosmos crawls with monsters

KACY. 30s. She/They.

This blog contains adult content, please do not follow if you are a minor.

hi friends! I'm Kacy, I write fanfiction! I like ducks and heavy metal! I mostly use this space to talk about The Vampire Chronicles, but I also like Sheith, and horror films, and kink theory! I am an asexual porn writer and I'm obsessed with Marius!

LINKS

AO3 - I am monstersinthecosmos on AO3, I write porn about VC, Sheith, and sometimes YOI!

Bsky - kacycarr on bsky - you will find mostly Sheithing here!

Ko-Fi - feel free to buy me a coffee if you like my fics! I have some fics available for purchase in digital download and paperback! I will also invite you to check out projects I created & co-mod called @vamptember (vampire prompts during the month of September!) and @priapus-at-the-gate (the VC Kink Meme!) VC STUFF!

I mostly use this space to talk about VC since the fandom is either dead or toxic as fuck on other platforms. I've been into VC since like THE YEAR 2000 LOL. I had fics that got taken down in the FFnet purge! Ancient! Marius is my favorite character and I'm more partial to Marius subplots/timelines. I'm also really into the Devil's Minion and Trinity Gate! I'm super into whatever the fuck was going on with Marius & Daniel! I could talk about Armand all fucking day! Pandora is my hero! Please expect posts about these things! I didn't love the AMC adaptation so I don't talk about it very often, because I try to focus on stuff I enjoy. ♡ TAGS

#stuff i wrote - IT'S FOR STUFF I WROTE. contains fics and discussion of fics. if they're very short they might only be on Tumblr and not on AO3.

#deep ass thoughts about vampires - my meta tag, sorry I came up with the name while I was stoned back in 2016 and I'm too lazy to change it :)

#trauma hole theory - if you want even DEEPER ass thoughts about vampires, this is where I park thoughts related to "do vampires have neuroplasticity?" and "would therapy even work on them?" #asexual vc - I don't really shut the fuck up about vampires being asexual so if you wanna hear about it CLICK HERE

#simple italian perv - MISC SMUTTY THOUGHTS to keep the rent low lol if you're new here I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me

#the skateboard of shakespeare - I visited Tulane last year and documented a ton of info from the Anne Rice collection! I use this tag when I share! #vampire chronicles- for book stuff!

#vampire pajama party on amc - this is my tag for the AMC show; I'm not a big fan of it so please feel free to mute if you don't want to see salt posts. (I have a second, even saltier tag called #the rolin jonestown massacre if you want to mute that one as well!)

#devils minion girlies - STILL WORKING HARD TO POPULATE THIS TAG but if you like thinking about Armand & Daniel as lesbians please see this tag. #unethical marius - I've been really obsessed lately with thinking about an AU where Marius is an unethical therapist LOLLL please feel free to peruse or mute as needed. #vampire music - I have like a ND relationship to music and I love sharing it even if no one else cares and taste is subjective but if you ever want vampirey music recs they will be here :D #fandom lolitics - I try not to share too much discourse & drama but it's here if you want to mute it! #vcficfriday - when I have time & remember to I like to share fics I've read on Fridays!!!! Please feel free to use this tag in your own blog as well, to build up fic writers!

I THINK THAT COVERS IT, FELLAS, please be kind to each other and don't be shy to send me asks if you have any questions!

[queer-mental-health]

Welcome!

This blog is dedicated to ensuring positive mental health for the queer community as well as anyone else who needs it! It is inspired by blogs like @our-queer-experience and @queer-advice-hotline.

On this blog I will be posting positive quotes and messages, reblogging things that I find positive, giving advice, answering asks, and more, all to ensure a positive, healthy space for everyone.

And by "positive" I mean "things that affirm your identity and your goals for healthy mental health!" "Toxic positivity" has no home here - I'm a believer in radical acceptance, that it's more helpful to accept difficult feelings as they exist than to try to force yourself to "think positive" when you're just not feeling it.

This is a safe and encouraging space. If you need advice or need to vent or just say something that's on your mind, feel free to put it in my asks (the button that says "what's on your mind?") or message me. I am not a professional but I am always willing to help!

Of course I will also be sharing other resources such as other mental health blogs and queer blogs and professional hotlines and helplines.

Though this blog will mostly focus on mental health guidance directed towards the queer community, if you are not queer this blog is still a resource for you as well! Everyone should have access to guidance towards positive mental health no matter who you are!

This blog does not welcome any sort of hate, discrimination, or anything that can be considered as unkind or harmful. Help make this blog a safe environment for everyone.

Everyone deserves positive mental health and I'm here to help!

Read below for mental health resources (hotlines, good news, etc.)-

Relaxing games:

https://www.jigsawexplorer.com/

https://play2048.co/

https://all2048.com/

https://wordleunlimited.org/

https://merge-fruit.com/fruit-merge

https://www.arkadium.com/games/block-champ/

Good news:

https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/

https://www.today.com/news/good-news

https://www.positive.news/

Quote of the Day:

https://www.brainyquote.com/quote_of_the_day

Mental Health Hotlines:

https://www.psycom.net/get-help-mental-health

#lgbtqia #lgbtq community #lgbtq positivity #lgbtqia mental health #queer community #queer mental health #queer #mental health

[hanasnx]

Hi Bittyyyyyy :D !!!! Your Han stuff has been killing me I love the way you write him, I think you get his energy down pat, a big ol' meanie who lovesss his pretty little girl EEEE. When I picture Han, it's always sitting in his lap, like he's just so large, takes up so much space, chronic man-spreadder, I've gotta be in his fucking lap kissing him all over or talking his ear off, or listening to him tell stories about his past adventures, literally anything. The thought of being in his lap drives me fucking crazy. You know me and my love of dirty talk, what kind of dirty talk do you think gets him going? What does he like to hear? -donnie

thank you for your compliments :) the reassurance is appreciated bcos like i said, i am an anakin blog. so han's voice is something i have to switch into and take time to embody before i can sit down and focus on writing for him. he rly is a big ol meanie who loves his pretty little girl <3

calling him a "chronic man-spreader" is so real. thats the only way he sits. sometimes he rests his ankle on his knee, but that's still spread. it's only cos he wants to rest his hand somewhere on his calf and his elbow on the back of his chair. a real open stance, for a real confident man.

the idea of you sitting in his lap, this large ass man (who "takes up so much space" as you said 😵‍💫) while you listen oh-so-intently. big eyes looking up at him while he tells you his stories, absentmindedly stroking your head and down your hair, sending you those tingles right up your neck. his fingers catch on the last bits of your hair, closing in on them as his fingertips brush your back. then he starts all over again, big hand palming the top of your head only to slide down.

he'd tell his exciting stories so nonchalantly. as if they're uninteresting now that he's lived them through, but they still have that punch to them to you.

the kind of dirty talk that he likes is actually pretty basic. if you're able to admit to him that you "want" him or "need" him, putting him in that position of power over you, he really likes that. sometimes it works, and he's wants to get going, all because you gave him a green light. but other times, he needs a little more. sacrifice yourself on the altar of humiliation. beg a bit. tell him you can't take another step without his help, his cock, be dramatic with it. be so exaggerated and hyperbolic all so he can say, "okay, okay," roll his eyes, "i get it, sweets. where do you want me?" making a big show of finally being worn down so he can suit your needs. he, himself, doesn't like to feel too desperate, so it's satisfying to see someone else do it. makes him feel desired, necessary. pride's important to him, so show him you don't care about your own.

if you talk a big game about exhibitionism he digs that. tell him you want him to fuck you in front of all these guys at the cantina. right on the bar. he'll say no, but he likes the idea. the fact you're willing to show your most sacred parts to strangers, all for him. all to prove you're willing for him. "c'mon, han. you know you want to. i want to. i know how much you like to show off. brag about me. boast about this pretty cunt by fucking it in front of everyone. that'll show 'em."

that'll most definitely earn you a: "get your little ass back on the falcon."

#indy: headcanons #ch: han #han solo headcanons #donnie #thanks for the msg!! #indy shoots the shit #cw size kink #x f!reader #reader insert #han #han solo smut #han solo prompt #han solo x reader #han solo x reader smut #han solo x f!reader smut #han solo x f!reader #han solo x you #han solo x you smut #star wars smut #star wars imagine #star wars x reader #han solo imagine #han solo fanfiction #star wars fanfiction #smut #anon #han solo fanfic #star wars x you #star wars x you smut

[neewtmas]

a non-exhaustive list of fic recs for lockwood & co and stranger things

Under the cut you’ll find my Lockwood & Co and Stranger Things fic recs.

These fics are in no particular order and are the ones that stood out most to me while reading. All of these authors have other writing that should be checked out! Most have their masterlist pinned at the top  of their blog, which is why I didn’t link it seperately. 

Have fun reading these excellent pieces of fanfiction❤️

Lockwood & Co

George

by @maraschinomerry

How to Stand (friends to lovers, fluff, both povs, George teaches reader how to use a rapier)

Matching Mates (friends to lovers, george has a crush, locklyle teasing him about it, Fittes Ball, bestfriend!Lucy is scheming)

Matching Mates Part 2 (established relationship, fluff)

Stay Safe (Reader and George fight a visitor together)

Important Research  (friends to lovers, both povs, george is the sweetest,  misunderstandings, fluff)

I’ve got your back (angst + fluff, hurt/comfort, cuddling)

Offerings (angst + fluff, getting possessed by a ghost)

by @givemea-dam-break

Pretty (friends to lovers, bestfriend!Lucy, locklyle, Fittes Ball, jealousy and awkward George,  he’s a little idiot tbh)

Little Notes (love confessions through letters)

Touch (Gorge is jealous of Lockwood, fluff, a little angst)

masterlist for Lockwood x reader

by @lewkwoodnco

Wildest Dreams (strangers to lovers, reader works at Fittes, very in-character George, slight angst but happy ending)

Be More (valentine's day, FLUFF, george is a little awkward, food fight!! feels like a warm hug)

by @oblivious-idiot

london calling (reader works at Fittes, friends to lovers, fluff)

midnight comforts (after the boneglass, nightmares, cuddling, fluffyyyy)

the break of dawn (fluff, pizza for breakfast, watching a movie)

late night collisions (friends to lovers, fluff, george is bad at uno, stealing shirts)

the only exception (ghost touch, fluff, george is the swe etest)

Stuck in the middle with you by @stray-kaz (18+ only!, reader contacts the ghost of Annabelle Ward, angst, fluff, smut)

Sleep Tight by @honey-lavender-latte (friends to lovers, comforting George, cuddles, his pov)

Lockwood

Just another love song by @tangledinlove (friends to lovers, fluff, mutual pining, love languages, George and Lucy have to intervene, long!!)

I take you like you do your tea, with lemon and with honey by @lewkwoodnco (first person Lockwood, Lockwood is in love, pure poetry)

Deck The Halls (and not your partner) by @bella-rose29 (long! 12 part series, enemies to lovers, fake dating!! set around christmas time (with everything that entails), fluff, angst, mildly spicy towards the end, lockwood is a little shit from time to time, fantastic couple dynamic)

escapism by @aislinrayne (18+ but no actual smut, reader is drunk, insane tension, lockwood is a simp, lot's of lockwood pov)

Little Pink Heart by @maraschinomerry (SAD, NO happy end, established relationship, reader dies on the job, it's a beautiful read tho)

Locklyle

that funny feeling by @givemea-dam-break (ANGST and only ANGST)

Untitled by @lucelockwood (the most beautiful thing you'll ever read, 100% pure love)

Borrowed Time by @waitingforthesunrise (angst, post Hollow Boy, serial killer prompt)

Policy 8 by @the-biscuit-agreement (on AO3, very long, it feels like reading another Lockwood & Co book, angst, fluff, it has everything)

The Whole World Filled With Silence by @13atoms (focus on Lucy, post canon, talents fading but it's bittersweet instead of angsty)

Just An Act by @czenzo (extremely in character, so funny, the skull is the best)

George & Lucy

5 times George missed Lucy, 1 time he admitted it by @givemea-dam-break & @ikeasupremacy

Stranger Things

Series

Dancing with myself by @ambrossart  (finished, fluff and angst, happy ending, ALL the feels and just simply amazingly written, everyone needs to read this one)

You are in love by @missscarlettangel (finished, strangers to friends to lovers, kinda slow burn, just a super sweet feel-good story and absolutely worth the read)

Eddie Munson

Dirty Dreaming by @eddiethefreakkmunson (smut! best friends to lovers, Eddie has a wet dream about the reader and deals with the repercussions)

Listen to the Trees by @ethereal27cereal (includes smut, fluff, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, plus size!reader, ‘there’s only one bed’-trope, a very handsy wet dream,  both povs)

My favourite Person by @pollenallergie (best friends to lovers, slow burn, starts out with them as little kids)

Oneshots

by @copycatkillerfics 

Head over Heels/ Code Lime Green (fluff, friends to lovers, kinda insecure but very in love Eddie, Dustin plays matchmaker)

Angel/ What’s left unspoken (angst & fluff, friends to lovers, both povs, cliche in the best way)

A spark (angst and fluff, friends to lovers, truth or dare goes a little wrong, butterflies guaranteed) 

Since the Sunflowers (angst and fluff, shitty boyfriend alert, Eddie is a sweetheart in love, happy ending)

by @marymunsonloves

Hellfire Babes (best friends to lovers, you wear Eddie’s clothes and he can’t handle it, both povs, halloween party)

All dolled up (angst & fluff, friends to lovers, slight misunderstanding, a little jealous Eddie)

More to love (best friends to lovers, implied plus size reader, Eddie helps you with body issues, accidental confession)

by @munson-blurbs

Flattery works with me (smut, a revealing bikini at the pool is all it takes to get Eddie going)

Clueless (fluff, the hellfire boys push Eddie to ask you out)

Bookworm!reader (fluff, shy reader, Eddie joins reader in detention)

by @singularattitudeofasafetypin

If you wanted me, you really should’ve shown (friends to lovers, kinda shitty boyfriend, Eddie shows you what you’re missing in the most beautiful way)

How you get the girl (friends to lovers, Eddie overhears you telling Steve how to step up his game, Eddie’s pov)

Crazy Forever (established relationship, Eddie is insecure)

by @corrodedcoffins

Different Kind of Jealous (best friends to lovers, mutual pining, jealousy, both povs, all the good stuff)

New Outfit (fluff & angst, friends to lovers, reader tries to appease Eddie by changing her looks, confession during a fight)

Man of my dreams (smut!, best friends to lovers, reader has a wet dream about Eddie, relentless teasing, the gang hangs out together, platonic steve x reader moment, jealous Eddie)

Love comes walking in (best friends to lovers, fluff & angst, jealousy, Eddie is a clueless idiot, Dustin is the sweetest little guy, Eddie makes it up to you beautifully)

by @sunflowergirl522

Teardrops on my guitar (best friends to lovers, Eddie is so in love, jealousy, mutual pining, misunderstandings)

He’s my brother (strangers to lovers, mutual pining, movie nights)

by @forever-rogue

Miscommunications (best friends to lovers, fluff & angst, jealousy, a fight, mutual pining, insecurities)

In which Eddie drives you crazy (friends to lovers, fluff, intense flirting from Eddie)

by @eddie-van-munson

Elvira’s Movie Macabre (friends to lovers, bestfriend!chrissy, fluff & angst, both povs, Eddie is an idiot, but he makes it up to you)

Peanut Butter Cookies (best friends to lovers, jealousy)

masterlist by @ghosttownwherenoonegoes (found it hard to narrow down here)

meet me at midnight by @maria-scribbles (fluff, aquaintances to lovers, new years eve party, henderson!reader)

Are you leaving? by @fluffansmut (fluff, both povs, Eddie is insecure)

The Morning after by @ashtonsbff (fluff & angst, best friends to lovers, insecure reader and insecure Eddie)

is something wrong with me? by @djarintreble (best friends to lovers, mutual pining, some insecurities, Eddie shows you that there is nothing wrong with you)

Taking Eddie’s virginity by @usedtobecooler (smut!, best friends to lovers)

One Call away by @uselessastheginlasagnaa (fluff & angst, best friends to lovers, toxic/abusive relationship but Eddie is always there for you)

I think I’ve loved you forever by @cinemaquinn (smut!, fluff, best friends to lovers, insecurities, misunderstandings, mutual pining)

hold me like i’m more than just a friend by @heartthrobinsficrecs (best friends to lovers, intense fluff, henderson!reader, mutual pining, Eddie is your first kiss, both povs)

Someone that actually likes me by @oddlykilledghosts (aquaintances to lovers, fluff, Dustin’s a matchmaker)

Angels & Demons by @galaxy-siren (friends to lovers, fluff, bestfriend!chrissy, halloween party, both povs)

Have you seen my sweatshirt by @waratah-moon (established relationship, cheerleader!reader, fluff)

On my doorstep by @softharrington (smut! friends to lovers, idiots in love, mutual pining, both povs)

#ficrec #stranger things 4 #eddie #eddie munson #eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #lockwood & co #lockwood and co #lockwood and co x reader #george karim #george karim x reader #anthony lockwood #lockwood #fic rec

[butterflydm]

More thoughts on the Seanchan Problem (TM)

I recently ran across a very interesting set of posts about what we know & can guess about historical Sparta and how it doesn't much match Sparta as it gets glamorized in media: acoup[dot]blog/category/collections/this-isnt-sparta/

It got me to thinking about the Seanchan, and I wrote up a lot of what I'm posting here and but, funnily enough (I guess it makes sense that we're all thinking about how the show will handle the Seanchan right now!), some discussion about the Seanchan came up with @ofthebrownajah re: the show needing to handle the Seanchan differently than the books did (very much agreed on that point) and @markantonys re: the issues with how the Seanchan were handled in the books (also very much agreed) and it all seemed pretty related to this post that I had been working on.

So, the thoughts in the Sparta blog posts that I linked, about how a majority-slave population works (or fails to work), reminded me a lot about various questions that I've had about the Seanchan, especially as I've gone through my reread.

We know that the Seanchan were kinda a mishmash of Every Empire, but the slavery mentioned in Spartan society in particular seems to strike a pretty familiar chord (because it sounds like it was pretty brutal even by Greek standards).

This does get critical and it does get into major spoilers through Knife of Dreams.

We know from The Fires of Heaven (Rand & Avi's honeymoon trip) that there are constant uprisings and slave revolts on the Seanchan continent. The Seanchan like to playact at being the embodiment of 'order' when they come to try to conquer the Westlands, but they cannot even keep their own house in order. The whole reason they're good fighters/generals is explicitly because they've been fighting each other this whole time (we learn that in Winter's Heart).

Which is one of the reasons why Crossroads of Twilight and Knife of Dreams feel like such bizarre departures from the previously established 'reality' of the Seanchan as we know them -- in CoT & KoD, we're suddenly living in Tuon's sheltered dream-world about how the Seanchan work and the narrative (at least in Mat's storyline) seems to be asking us to take it at face value, both because Mat doesn't challenge it (and he should know better -- and DID know better back in WH) and because it backs her PoV up by giving us ~glowing~ recommendations from all her slaves that just adore her ~oh~ so much -- she's a GOOD slaver-owner who only beats her slaves *checks notes* when they say something that pisses her off while doing their best to obey her orders (Tuon's intro in Winter's Heart). Ah.

But at least she... allows them to get their wounds treated once they've groveled enough and convinced her that they love her more than anything and will lick her hand like a dog! So it's totally okay!

idk, even after some distance from my rereads of CoT & KoD, they are such a jarring experience. I have some complaints about the Sanderson co-authored books, which I talked about in-depth in my last reread post about AMoL, but nothing that approaches how I feel about how the Seanchan were handled in CoT & KoD, specifically in Mat & Perrin's storylines(*). Just... the whiplash that I get from the 180 that got pulled in-between WH & CoT in Mat's behavior alone(**).

And it's really that soft-focus glamorizing of the Seanchan in Mat & Perrin's storylines in CoT & KoD that makes me think about historical Sparta and how pop-culture history only focuses on the elite 5-10% of the population and not on the vast majority of the population who were being abused by said elites (if you're looking for a group in WoT that really does resemble "the 1%", then you should be looking at the Seanchan High Blood, not the Aes Sedai).

It does look like the show will be going hard with the Seanchan during S2 and really showing how horrific the slave-breaking is and I feel like, since they do have an overall plan in place, they probably already know what their endgame is for the Seanchan, so we won't get an abrupt "okay, slavery bad, sure but... what if the slaver is HOT when she tortures her slaves or prospective slaves? Have you thought about that?" and "What if you could save your wife for the low low price of selling two hundred women into a torturous existence for hundreds of years? What a bargain! Slavery is such a convenient tool, isn't it?" face-heel narrative turn like we had in CoT & KoD for Mat & Perrin.

But that kinda ties into a larger issue that it feels like Jordan was only partially aware of -- on one level, he definitely realized that objectification of women is not a great thing, but he also fell into it a lot without seeming to realize that he was doing it. There tends to be a vibe of "women being killed is an evil thing but women being tortured forever is okay because they're technically alive and that's all that matters; the quality of that life is not relevant in the way that it would be for a man".

In plotlines where Jordan was focused on women as people, he tended to do a lot better, but that only makes it stand out more in the places where he's failing to do that, imo.

The two hundred Shaido Wise Ones who get thrown into slavery are treated with less humanity than the single (male) Shaido prisoner whose hand Perrin cuts off. They're just the background element as Perrin thanks and praises the slaver who helped him buy his wife back with blood. Jordan frames two slavers (Tylee and Tuon) as "good ones" without actually making anything about their behavior different from the "bad ones" of the Seanchan, because they are important to the narratives of two of the main male characters and so get boosted into being 'better than the other Seanchan' without any actual behavioral changes on their parts(***). Protagonist-centered morality at its most 'yikes'.

When you combine this with Rand sending the damane back to the Seanchan after Semirhage's attack as a 'gesture of good faith', it just adds up to a vibe of "women's freedom is negotiable". And because of the focus in the latter books on the damane as opposed to the da'covale(****), it is women's freedom specifically that is shown not to be valued in the main male PoV chapters. We'll make a big deal about how we can't kill women, but we can let them be tortured and enslaved.

It's a very ugly theme for the three Two Rivers' boys all to be sharing in at the end of KoD. Jordan makes all of them make choices that are very dark, but Rand is the only one getting real narrative push-back about those choices (*!) by having people he respects with openly disagree with him on the matter (*!!).

The show really does need to either commit to having the change in Seanchan society actively begin to happen on-screen (*!!!), or they need to not have the boys willing to throw their morals away so easily. Ideally, both.

As it is, in the books, Perrin is just straight-up selling people into slavery at the end of KoD. Mat is having thoughts about how he would just curl up and die if this horrible slaver lady got killed. And, like Perrin, Rand has decided that women are property to trade around, though he is much more reluctant about it than Perrin (*!!!!).

...

(* Hmm, random thought but - I wonder if, for me, being so deeply unhappy with what Jordan was doing in Mat, Perrin, & Rand's storylines in CoT & KoD, meant that the different take that Sanderson had on the story (which is inevitable; no matter who took over the series, they would have a different take than Jordan did) was more likely to be something I would find positive because I was so disappointed with the state that Jordan had left things in?)

(** I know I repeat this a lot but Mat flips from sympathizing with the slaves to sympathizing with the slavers in less than a week, all off-the-page in-between Winter's Heart and Crossroads of Twilight so it just really stands out to me when he starts doing things like using slavery as a threat against the Aes Sedai and forcing former slaves to share a wagon with their former abusers; Bethamin was actively abusing Teslyn a week ago and Mat makes them share sleeping quarters, meanwhile Tuon gets to be in a wagon alone with her slave and Setalle Anan who, just like Mat, has flipped from sympathizing with slaves to sympathizing with slavers in less than a week, taking Tuon under her wing and behaving as if she's a wee child in need of protection and being amused when the child throws tantrums and breaks things)

(*** contrast this with Egeanin, who does have to undergo a lot of changes, and who actively goes against the Seanchan norm more and more as her storyline progresses -- but, notably, Egeanin has a lot less temporal power in the Seanchan empire than either Tylee or Tuon, and also notably, her change in direction began when she was part of Elayne & Nynaeve's storyline and finished up in Egwene's storyline -- meanwhile, Tylee making a deal with a local in order to secure two hundred more damane sounds like something any Seanchan Blood would be willing to sign off on, and all we see from the Mat and Tuon 'relationship' is him making concession after concession to her while she throws tantrums, makes threats, and hurts his companions. We do have Alivia as representing the people who are injured and marginalized by the Seanchan elite, but we get so much less on her background and narrative PoV than we do for Tuon, who is on the top of the social heap. Giving Alivia more page time and a PoV or two would have helped balance out all the Tuon/elite High Blood focus in CoT & KoD; instead all her big conversations with Rand happen off the page and the books never explore her justified anger at her oppressors)

(*** though even the da'covale seem to be weighted towards women? The 'entertainment slaves' who dance for the Blood's pleasure always seem to be women and it seems like the majority of the da'covale that we see are women)

(*! though the Wise Ones disapprove about what Perrin does, the narrative ignores them just as much as Perrin does; and the same goes for Mat's bizarre choices in CoT & KoD -- we're never let inside the PoV of one of the people with him who disapproves of what he's doing)

(*!! Nynaeve, though even she, in accordance with the laws of No One Is Allowed To Offer Solutions About The Seanchan Especially Not To Rand, doesn't tell Rand any of the information that she has that might actually help him make better choices, like all sul'dam being capable of learning to channel, which is important military information for him to have!)

(*!!! which means that we, at least, need Tuon acknowledging that she can channel and that their society needs to change - it has to come from someone who actually has power in the Seanchan Empire, not just exiles like Egeanin)

(*!!!! I will also never back down on this being one of the biggest TACTICAL mistakes that Rand ever makes in the series. Sending back the sul'dam would be fine, whatever, because they're essentially prisoners of war, but sending back the damane tells the Daughter of the Nine Moons that Rand agrees that women who can channel are fair game as property to be bought and sold, which is the worst possible footing to begin his negotiations with the Seanchan on, as he has already conceded that women can be property)

#wot book spoilers #wot spoilers #knife of dreams #seanchan content warning #this is kind of a ramble #my wot meta #wot #wheel of time #the wheel of time #yes the notes are just as long as the rest of the post

[jikookuntold]

thank you for that, I went down a rabbit hole and needed a level headed person to explain. JM and MY seem really close and I guess I found it more believable than other ships. I absolutely adore JK and JM and I cannot, as a new Army, understand how people cannot see their bond and try and find moments that aren’t there with others, or looks or touches or even in a behind the scenes where they say JM was moaning in Sugas room. It’s so disrespectful of all the members to do this. It grosses me out tbh.

You are weclome, and I appreciate your trust in me. That's true, Jimin and Yoongi are very close, and Jimin has sweet moments with Yoongi just like he does with Namjoon, Hobi or Jin as his other hyungs. But the reason Ymners make up and spread disrespectful lies and misinformation like that, is very clear, and it's Ymn being the side ship for Tkk which has the biggest group of shippers in the fandom. They use Ymn to complete and secure their fantasies, and in one way or another, they need to include Jimin in those fantasies.

But how did we come to this? It's kinda complicated. When you are new in the fandom as a shipper, things are a bit confusing because you are not educated enough to fact-check things, and it's difficult to see what's important as a ship moment and what's not. Unfortunately many shippers take advantage of this confusion and lack of knowledge, and manipulate the newcomers with edited, cropped and altered content or totally twisted narratives.

Every new fan has exprienced this manipulation in some level. Even I, as a Jikooker, had noticed that some of the moments I had watched in compilation videos, were cropped or taken out of context. But I never find anything that was changed in a manipulative way or made out of thin air. I'm not claiming that everything Jikookers say is true, but we can claim that when some misinformation starts to spread, it usually gets corrected and doesn't go on for a long time. Some Jikookers even go overboard with this and start to dismiss the legit moments, and that's why we have a big breed of woke Jikooker, which I don't understand why they bother calling themselves Jikooker, but their wokeness is usually the starting point for the process of leaving.

Anyways, I stopped watching YT analysis and even compilation videos after 2019 and followed everything real-time, but after a while, I realized watching original content is not the only thing you need to do. And there are two other things you need to keep in your mind:

1. Ships and being ship focused all the time, ruins your experience as a fan. If you keep being focused on who stands next to whom, who touches whom, who mentions whom, you can't enjoy the content you are consuming. I'm not saying I don't focus on my ship, because I clearly do it in a deep level, but I try to separate it from my experience as a content consumer, that's the reason I have this blog to organize my thoughts and perceptions on Jikook and it help me not to go down into that rabbit hole.

2. Details matter, but you should not get caught up in them. We pay attention to the details when we review and analyze the moments, but not every detail matters. For example, the date on Jimin's freezer screen was an important and clarifying detail in that content, but JK saying "It's been a while" is an insignificant detail. He could have said it as a mere joke, or refering to the house or maybe just two hours of separation from Jimin is a "while" in JK's dictionary, we don't know. We don't know many things, and we can't judge and analyze everything. Fighting with haters who try to debunk these insignificant details has no use and just gives them the sense of victory they are looking for.

When you try to see things as a whole and stop focusing on irrelevant and insignificant stuff, your mind starts to filter out the unimportant facts and moments and detail, and you don't get insecure or defensive when someone questions or even debunks those details. And what remains, is a collection of special, huge and undeniable facts and moments that spoke by themselves. The level of undeniablity is so high here, that the antis need to use conspiracy theories like fanservice and company force to dismiss them. And I think that's very telling.