#'omg i had nooooo idea who this is' shut the fuck UP oh my god

[butchniqabi]

if you know nothing about black/african literature i think you should just be quiet while the adults are talking babes

#'omg i had nooooo idea who this is' shut the fuck UP oh my god

[a-hidden-weeb-an-open-queer]

MHA but it's a wattpad werewolf fanfiction. P1.

As a werewolf wattpad author myself, I am taking the library to mock this strange culture phenomenon.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse and abusive fathers, nothing super graphic. Slut shaming. Possible hints at beasality (???). And no spell checking. Read at your own risk.

----I don't know how to center text lmao---------

A/N: omg guyz!!!!! im so excited to share this story idea ahhhhh but I'm also super nervous please b nice :)))))))) also to all the haters I'm sorry you're peanut butter jealous of me >:}

OoooooooO

Hello, my name is Izuku Midorya! I am a 4'1 greenette with wide beautiful jade orbs and a slim body. Sadly, I'm very ugly :( because I wear glasses and enjoy comics and other geeky things that other people don't.

Today is my first day at ForestWood High school and I'm super nervous. Everyone at my last highschool hated me because I was super ugly and shy.

"Izuku, sweetie, get up you're gonna be late to school!" My mom whispered yelled through my door.

I gasp, my jade eyes blinking open in panic. I had another nightmare about my abusive acholic dad beating me :(

"C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-Ccoming mom." I stuttered.

I slip out of the soft comforters of my bed and quickly made my way to the mirror. My messy, green hair and beautiful jade orbs staring blinking at me. I frown. My ugly freckles are ugly against my super smooth and milky skin. God, I hated how I looked.

"Honey?" My mom whispered yelled again.

My abusive acholic dad used to beat her whenever he spoke higher than a whisper so now her voice is permanently damaged and she can't speak higher than a whisper ever again. Damn him!!!!!!

"Sorry! I'll be down quickly!" I gasped.

I totally forgot it was my first day at ForestWood High school - i hope the other kids don't bully me for my super ugly glasses and totally weird hobbies like reading comics or listening to Panic At The Disco!

I quickly pull on my vans, my best pair of jeans, and the cutest long sleeve shirt I have. It has to be long sleeved cuz my abusive acholic dad left burn scars all over my arms.

I look at myself through the mirror and nod happily - I am still super ugly tho.

"Hmmmm, it feels like I'm missing something....Oh!" I pulled on my glasses, almost forgetting them. Wow I'm such a klutz!

Laughing to myself, I climb down the stairs and find my mommy in the kitchen making breakfast.

"Hi sweetie! I hope you aren't too stressed out about moving in the middle of sophomore year. It's just that we needed a new start after your abusive acholic father was arrested for a DUI." She whisper yells.

I nod. "No I understand mother."

She smiles. "Okay sweetie, so long you are happy. Do you want me to drive you?"

"No thanks" it's so lame to have your mom drive you too school, I think to myself.

My mom lays down a plate full of eggs, bacon, cheese, pancakes, sausage, and beans. I smile and take a piece of toast "thanks for breakfast mom" i say as i run outside.

"You're welcome honey!" She whisper yells back.

OoooooooooooO

Everyone is staring at me as I walk into the door of WoodForest High School. They all stare wide eyed before turning around to gossip to each other.

I nervously look down, clinching the schedule my student console gave me. Already the weirdo :( it must be the Naruto shirt I'm wearing.

Since I was looking down nervously, I didn't see the slut in front of me. I let out a gasp, body falling backwards as my papers are all scattered to the floor.

"Omg I am sooooooooooooo sorry!" I cried out, head snapping upwards.

Across from me sat the slutties person I've ever seen!!! With a skin tight, thigh high dress, super long heels, and a face full of makeup, he looked like a low-end prostitute.

"Omg! You better be sorry! My father just got me these heels! Ugh! Stupid human!!!!!" He said, beautiful blonde hair shining and gray eyes twinkling with anger.

"I-I-Im-" I stuttered.

"Just fucking shut up you stupid fucking whore omfg this is why i wanted Alpha Todorki to fucking kill all the humans and shit but nooooo that was genocide and bad. Ughhuuuy stupid ass fucking bitch." He yells down at me, standing up from the floor.

Around me the whole student body stares, most laughing or throwing in their own insults. Tears fill my jade orbs as I sniffle.

The slut huffs, spinning on his heels as he marches down the hallway. Everyone watches his ass as he goes because damn.

"Oh my god! Are you okay?" A kind and gentle voice calls out. I turn to see a beautiful brownette standing before me and I blush - she's so cute and nice!

"You must be the new guy! Hi! I'm Ochako~ and the person who just rudely left you sitting on the floor is Momoma - he's sorta the Queen Bee around here. And a mythic bitch" (A/N: if you got that reference plsssssssss be my friend 😭)

Ochako helps me pick up the single piece of paper I dropped when I ran into Momoma.

"Wait, how do you know I'm knew?" I ask confused.

Ochako laughs, sounding suspiciously nervous. Weird...

"Uh....its a small town and every one sorta knows every one hahahaha! OH! It looks like you have Mr. Aizawa first period, so do I! He's sorta of a hardass but is also super kind!"

I nod, "okay!" We walk down the hallway together.

"Hey, do you think you can tell me more about this school?" I ask, not wanting to repeat the same thing I rid with MoBitch.

Ochako nods, "sure! Well this school isn't like most because we have two packs right next to each other -" ochako's eyes widen as she looks my way. I am confused. "-I mean! Not packs. No. That's weird. Wolf like. I meant...families. Two different families and we don't like each other and we don't have many outsiders hahahha"

I blink before nodding, "that makes sense. Who are these families?" I asked like a good main protagonist.

Ochako continues with the NPC dialog. "Well first you have the Todorokis - Alpha, i mean, leader Todoroki is a real hard ass. His son is unmated, I mean, is currently not in a relationship. He's weird but nice. Then there are the bakugos. Alpha...leader Bakugo is real nice! I love her cooking but her son is super mean and is a bad boy so stay away from him. He's also single."

I nod as we come up to a science classroom, "thank you."

"Well, here we are! First period of the day! Ready for hell on earth?" She asks me with a wink.

I take her arm in mine, "only if you're ready to talk along side with me."

She laughs, "of course we're best friends after all."

"I've known you for five minutes."

"What?"

"Nothing."

We step into the classroom, arm in arm. I feel ready to face any weirdos or bad boys.

OoooooooooO

A/N: omggggg that was so much fun 2 write and i feel like it was really good. Please comment and like :))))) it makes me happy and I'm very sad :(((((( love you alll!!!!!!! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxozoozz

#i am gods creation and i exist to make him regret it #i harness my skills to harm #mha #fanfiction #ironic #its 5 am i havent slept yet and this is what i created #im still alive so y'alls are gonna have to suffer with me #someone come take away my ability to write please i enjoyed this too much #werewolf #wattpad #im not making fun of you im making fun of me #younger me would have loved this #i am not ashamed #my hero academia #story #mha fanfiction #lmao srry #one werewolf story i read the main chatacters fucked while in dog formed and i never recovered mentally #i was 12

[woozi]

i agree how you described twt, sometimes everyone's just ready to fight it seems, i've genuinely had fun on both platforms at different times but now it's just too much on stan twt (no space for difference of opinion djsjdjj) it's good to know you're having fun as well :3 & omg i've seen few of my moots starting to give svt their attention after fallin flower dropped, everything abt it is <3333 the song, mv, choreo i love it.

hdjdjddkdjdj " virgos 😐 " also me in next breath "happy birthday mark :D i love you so much 🥺💕💗" any virgos reading this i really hope you enjoy your month to the fullest djjdjd <3. righttt?? you're correct abt mark's temper being very virgo djdjdkd.

your line screams hard-working people <3 jihoon, jaebeom, jeonghan the 3Js <3. isn't jaebeom also an infj? (i don't take mbtis seriously but at the same time it also makes me happy if it ends up matching someone i like djdjjd) chan & yugs 🥺 these two imo have the sweetest personality, like the one which makes you feel welcomed & they also have the cutest laugh 🥺.

i love jus2 <3 focus on me is one of my favorite kpop mvs of all time & also drunk on you??? i love this song so much, very sexy of them. the vibes, style and everything w/ their album, i want more songs like that. and for when i am feeling melancholy i need more songs like jjp's verse 2 😭💔 but i am also okay if they don't want to go back to these units bcoz everything so far they've been giving is just as great <33 ( maybe in future we'll get blessed w/ features 🥺)

honestly g7 as grp and individually have won me over with their music style, even if i don't like full album ik there will be 3-4 songs which will be exactly what i like to listen to, all of the music they've released individually i've liked it so much. there is this song of youngjae's, titled "i'm all ears" i had no idea of its existence until it popped up in my spotify i'm so glad it did, it's been in my playlist ever since. there was also a time when i was obsessed with jackson's 'on the rocks' djdjdk.

aww <3 the live performance video of 1° has mark as thumbnail so for long time i used to associate this song with him jdjddk. i think the only j*pe thing i'd miss is got7 studio live sessions 🥺. RIGHTJDKSKS aju nice's mv is very cute djjddk I love it, in reality its reverse tho, i see them and boom! 💖💛💗🤍💕💙

it was the year they won first bb*as award so that gave them the exposure, and no i don't follow them anymore. mixed feelings abt them, very negative feelings abt f*ndom fjdjdjd. i do miss what it used to feel like liking them sometimes. at that time i never thought i'll willingly drop them from my interest (i've stanned zayn since 2012 first him as grp member then solo. sometimes thinking abt it gives me a whiplash hddjks it's been 9 years, really thought it would be same with them too but it didn't happen)

i've had falling in love by yugs and in to you by jaebs on loop for days djdkdk i really love these two songs and also air by bammie <3 (i'm slow jams kinda person djdjdk :3)

(bam released the most fun album & title this year idc abt others, ribbon is one of the soty) also special mention of look so fine & running through the rain. yes! you do make sense they feel organic & very them.

exactly 😭 it's more believable when they drop stuff out of nowhere like encore 😭😭. the way youngjae posted his letter on twt too ddjjdkssk the announcement & release of encore is such a 'you just had to be there' situation the excitement, nervousness, confusion and everything 😭 sometimes i can't with them. also is the bibi with mark on ost, the same one you mentioned in last ask? the ost is really good <3, it must've been fun to see it happen (if its same bibi).

making a whole ass playlist just for me???? 😭😭😭🥺💗 yza you're so sweet nooooo 💖

and don't worry abt replying late jdjdkdjd i mean it, sometimes my friends text me after weeks and i'm am the same. it's really okay <3. i hope this week is treating you kindly, take care yza - 🪂

p.s ( just saw last post djjej) - it was me who manifested more bunny dino <3 manifesting even more <33

i was on stan twt during my younger years too and it was v fun and memorable to me ngl <3 idk what happened though.. it's evolved to be.. Something Else.. i still see a lot of good people there though 😭 and now that i'm in my Hag Era... idk it's just too fast for me now 😭 it's still my go-to place for updates though nothing can top twitter on that dept

and ms fallin flower.... i feel like everyone was blown away by it (based off of what i see carats when talk about it) and rightly so!! she SERVED. the looks too oh my god. it's another factor i look forward to and enjoy so much when i watch their performances!!

u know what? virgos 😐 indeed KJJKDFJKFDJKFDKJ i want to slander virgos today because it's their season and no one slanders them that often so <3 ABOUT MARK'S VIRGO TEMPER THOUGH... i know i've said i enjoy seeing it sm but whenever i think abt it i cant help but say that.. I Love His Temper <3 he doesn't get pissed off in a scary and douchebag-y way it seems so... contained?? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT he punched an a/c though so that might not be the perfect word to describe him lmaoo <3

THE J TRINITY HFDJFJDJHDF BESTIE UR MIND IS SO!!!!!!!!!!! honestly... maybe it's the acts of service for me <3 JKDFKJFDKJFJKD i think this is just my eldest sister and savior syndrome speaking though kfjkdkjf ALSO OH MY GOD THE WAY U NOTICE THESE THINGS <3 THAT'S SO SEXIE OF U!!! and yes he used to be an infj!! there was an interview that's more recent wherein he mentioned that he's now an enfj though but i cant rmb which interview it's from :/ ALSO MOOD FKJJKGJGKF i dont believe in mbtis too but im just... a little obsessed w it for the fun of it all <3 and the way u described them </3 what if i tear up a little </3 I LOVE CHAN'S LAUGH SO MUCH BUT IM SO SOS O GLAD U BROUGHT UP YUGYEOM'S LAUGH??????????? IT'S NOT TALKED ABT ENOUGH LIKE...... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! one of my bird moots said he sounded like a schoolboy in choir 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GOD UR TASTE!!!!!!! what if i start falling in l*ve a little :/ what then :/ focus on me was ahead of it's time and people fucking slept on THEM i cannot fucking believe this. this has to be some kind of sick joke 😭 ALSO HAVE U SEEN THE CHOREO FOR SENSES!!!!!!1 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! sorry for the expletives but like.... holy SHIT they did THAT!!!!!!!! ALSO UR SO RIGHT </3 jjp verse 3 when... ALSO did u know i let go of the jjprojects url... thats the worst mistake of my life KDKJDSKJDSJK also agree wholeheartedly <3 i think they're all trying to find their footing this time around as soloists and im so proud of them for that!! i'll stand by my jus2 agenda though bc they're almost in the same company so maybe.. i might have hope left 😭

SO TRUE BESTIE!!! the same principle goes w svt for me as well <3 got7's such a flavorful group musically like... all of them have the capacity to go solo and they're still considered flops.. waht the fuck <3 ALSO OMG FJDKJFKFJD YOU'VE HEARD The Song!!!!!!!! maybe he'll be releasing something along those lines <3 esp now that he's supposedly coming w an album KJSJKDJSK on a similar note.. do u also listen to jamie (the other artist on the song) <3 NOO SHUT UP THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was obsessed w on the rocks too 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FAVORITE ON THE MIRRORS ALBUM HELLO??????????????????????????? im proposing to u rn

ok now i have to watch all the live vids again JKDSJKSJDKDSKJ ik keep saying 'ur so right', 'i agree', and 'so true bestie' but im gonna have to say this again bc i LOVE LOVE LOVE live sessions sm no matter the artist. i also just am a little partial to live bands in performances like that in general so JDJKKDSJDS

the way you're saying these cute things abt the svteenies.. </3 giving me heartache!!! i'd bully them though i can't coddle them anymore <3

not the fandom JKFDKJFDKJFDKJFKJF ok but i think it's mostly their younger fans tbh. it wasn't this bad before.. i also really liked bts during their debut days. their songs were really good!! i kind of lost interest though and couldn't really get into them although their songs slapped lol. my irls are still into them though so i still hear about them. 9 YEARS............................... wait oh my god it HAS BEEN a little over a decade since 1d was The Thing huh 😭 now i feel kinda old lmao. and i totally get that feeling </3 it really do be like that sometimes JKFDJKJKFD

you really ARE keeping up w the sevens oh my god how are you doing it!!!!!!!!!!! it's like getting svt content now at this point but more complicated bc u need to get the updates from different sources JDKJSDKJJSKD love ur song choices too <3

ALSO FULLY RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw bam's teasers... the aes was my cup of tea and THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't fucking get it out of my mind it's objectively one of the best things i've seen from kpop in 2021. i'm super impressed <3 love how abyss really supported bambam on this. they really went all in for him!!

I KNOW GKJDFJDK I GOT SUPER ???????/// DURING THE TIME EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DISBANDING LMAOOOO they pulled a move that's so unheard of though no one really expected That. i respect jaebeom so much for handling all the paperwork and shit behind the scenes it must've been HELL!! ALSO IT MEANT I CRIED FOR NOTHING THEN 😭😭😭 AND YES OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME BIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHOCK I HAD WHEN I SAW THE LIST????????????????????????? thought i was gonna black out like,,, mark,,, AND BIBI??????????????? she's fucking phenomenal how is she just a YEAR older than me.. INSANE!!! ... and i also thought jackson was gonna have an ost for this movie.. idk why it wasn't released though i didnt look into it :/

i had a rough few days so i'm not yet finished with the playlist (my laptop's Dead i am still trying to revive her and uni's starting soon 😭) but for the mean time, here's another one that some people from caratblr previously asked for JDSJKSDJ these are mostly english songs though its not my k-playlist KJDSKJSDJK

i do hope this week gets better!!! and i hope that you'll have a fun one too <3 thank u for being so patient w me 🥺 i just get so many messages and find the need to recharge FDKJDFJK

ALSO I FELT LIKE IT WAS U!!!!!! OH MY GOD, i even searched my blog for the word manifest but for some reason your ask didn't come up in the search so i didnt mention u in the tags so i wont misattribute if it ends up not being u 😭 thank u for manifesting this chan for me he's my little... hop hop now ig... 😭

#lov u u genuinely make my days better!! < #*<3 #also the way u called me by name... passing out rn </3 #🪂 anon #anon #y.ask #long post

[everyone-has-their-story]

Season 3 episode 10 commentary with my sister:

Okay NOW can I stalk their instagrams???

Let’s have a moment of silence to mourn that this is the last episode

This recap is depressing the shit out of me, like thanks for the reminder but no thanks

Please tell me he is not playing video games

SENNE!

Wait, go back for a second!....the poster above the tv says “worry less, laugh more” and if that isn’t a fucking tagline for Robbe then idk what is

Exams? No, Senne, not exams

Senne just munching on some snacks while Robbe is having a crisis

It’s not your fault Robbe!

Senne give him some brotherly advice

Stop mentioning her name!

LOLLL Senne you fool

Listen to the man!

Senne dropping the knowledge on Robbe..i love it

Oh shit it’s Christmas! Definitely forgot about that

Stop fighting!!

Zoe wtf you doing?

That fucking ringtone again..

His phone is bigger than his head

YAY!! **raises arms to the sky to celebrate** (news about his mom)

Him smiling means I’m smiling

Wow way to be a Debby Downer Milan…

Okay, but Robbe...where is your man?

Oh the hospital! Is he visiting his mom or Sander??

FUCK. MY. LIFE! Not her

GONE? Gone where??

Idc if I’m a bitch, but I still don’t like her

Explain yourself to him! What did you mean??

Was that a drawing of Robbe???

LOL to Britt if that was Robbe

I mean I guess we can let you know..

It was him!! Damn he is good

Fucking hell the shaky breaths are back

So did Sander just like leave all his shit there?

Yes call him

Damn right there is! (”there is an us”)

Damn right you do! (”i love you”)

I want him to call ALL of us immediately...except Britt

Cool so still no Sander?

Waddup Jens!

Listen to Jens, don’t go down that road

Sander!

There is that chernobyl again

Good to know you’re safe, but he just wants to be with you

Yes, Robbe..Chernobyl- Wait, the school!!!!!

RUNNNNNNN!!

Why do I know this song?

Oh god there are flashbacks

Why do I recognize this song?

I knew it was the school

More flashbacks?? Lord help me

Sanderrrr where are you

Oh shit, go back that was so cool (the drawings turning into flashbacks)

So many memories!!!!

This is so cool

Where is-- FOUND HIM

**presses pause** I feel the need to take a moment because this is going to be an emotional scene…. **presse play**

He look so lost

No, don't go away!

Oh god he’s crying..help

PAUSE! ..are those drawings of Robbe above his desk?? **peers closely at the tv** oh god they are **presses play**

Shit! They are all over the room!!

Yes, stay!

Nope he will always be there

Ahhh no he will!

We were all worried

Oh god he is holding his--nope he is kissing his hand

Nooo you’re not toxic

Holy shit this is so good

We BOTH have never felt something like that (RIP to her bf again)

Oh boy he said I love you..i’m a mess

He will always say it!

Not in any universe

Oh shit the song is back...where is that from??  **informs her it is from the first kiss** Oh well way to fuck me up with the soundtrack

Oh a game!

Omg the minute by minute already?

Yes, let’s play that

Yes, very chill

His little smile 

This is so sweet

The song is back!

Oh nooooo! Oh god

I’m not okay...not at all

Omg I wasn’t ready for a break down...

I don’t even know where to begin...Sanderrrr

Honestly their acting in this is fucking amazing

OMG! Call back to their almost first kiss!!

Pause! I’m sorry but play that scene again…

**physically covers her mouth for the entire 2nd time watching it**

One more time and then I swear we can move on, I just feel like I missed things…

**third time through** all the pictures!!! This is so painful to watch, but also makes me so happy. I’m so torn...I’m happy Sander has Robbe because Robbe is so sweet...this is hard to watch...I’m emotional on so many levels please don’t judge me...this is so much harder to watch than Skam...I hate how sentimental I am being because it just reminds me of you and I hate it...don’t judge me….also these actors are so fucking good, and I know I’ve said that but it’s true

Before we move on and I don’t care that I’ve paused it and rewound it like a thousands times, you’re gonna listen to another rant. There is so much to say about that scene and I don’t know if i will ever be able to say it all or put it into words and like I said before I’m being overly emotionally about this so please don’t judge me. I know that this is so different form Skam because they combined two scenes and there was a lot more discussion, but I liked the changes because I felt like it fit these characters more. And I love that Robbe never tried to be like oh that’s silly don’t think that, he was just like yeah that shit might happen but I’m still gonna be here. And the call back to the almost kiss was perfect. The whole scene was amazing and well done. Idk, there is so much more to say but I’m just gonna shut up for now

Okay...we can move on now

Oh sweet lord I wasn’t ready...that is fucking adorable

Little spoon Robbe!

Is this a Grease song??

That is the most annoying alarm

Don’t worry Britt, he already has

This is sweetest scene and no one has talked

No! He would never leave you!

Lol to the universe again

Oh yeah...school..that’s a thing

Ofc he is coming back, you silly billy

Still weirded out by the fact that they have little windows on their doors

Does Robbe know what pants are? Like feel free to wear them

Oh mother fucker…

Please tell this isn’t happening

I didn’t go through an entire season of hell with you two to have it end like this

Oh sweet fucking lord..I hate it

CUT! Scene over! 

Noo!

Fuck my life…

Brother and sister right here..love it

Oh hey Moyo

I mean he’s had better days but thanks for asking

Only good advice you’ve ever given dude

You better be okay with it, but thanks for saying it

MAYBE? Maybe it seemed that way? Boy..

I mean I guess you can be broerrs, but you’ve got a lot of work to do my friend

Jens...what?? Check your eyesight

No he would NOT do you

Hahahhaha Jens is butthurt again

He’d choose dying

LOL at you Aaron

I mean, never say never Aaron

Robbe laughing? A rare sight and I love it

Are they out shopping together??

Oh right..it’s christmas time..

NO, let’s stay on topic Zoe

Robbe out here being the relationship expert now

Agree to disagree Zoe

Okay cool let’s not focus on his good traits…

Dude same (Zoe says she feels like shit)

Hahahahaha disaster gay again

Oh Robbe, thank god you brought Zoe

I love this friendship

Damnit right it didn’t feel right

It does indeed (robbe says shit with Sander sucks)

Hell yes it feels right between you two

Oh hey Noor! Legit forgot about you for awhile

Awkward..

I mean yeah..but who wouldn’t want you (robbe) around? Fools, that’s who

She’s pretty cool, I’ll give you that

He’s better than alright...he’s phenomenal

Oooh a party! Hope I’m invited 

Aww Milan and Sander bonding! Love that

Cozy indeed

Milan as a babysitter sounds like a terrible idea

Did he just call him an angel???

Once again Milan is me, I am Milan

They are so fucking cute...they deserve it

The virus??? Holy shit. They started the coronavirus! You bastards

**dances** party time!!

Interior designers over here

Milan you sneaky man you...NO PEEKING!

Jack Frost?!?! Hahahhahahaha OMG hahahaha

Aaron you weirdo wtf???

LOL at Sanders face!! Same, dude same

Also sidenote: him saying he is Robbe’s bf...makes me so fucking happy

Those smiles at each other..fucking adorable

Noor! You made it!

Presents for everyone!

Who is giving alcohol to the Hot Mess Express??

No idea what just happened but ROBBE IS SMILING

Back that shit up! **rewinds** They really looked at each other after Milan said that! (about a cute boy for a present)

Milan disappoint level 100

OMG Noor got Sander?? And a Bowie shirt? Fucking legend

LOL at the fact that Noor is in between Robbe and Sander

Cuddles! (robbe and Sander on the couch)

Luca she is never going to understand anything sex related..poor girl

Back up! **rewinds** Robbe out here spinning his man on the dance floor, so cute

Oh good Lord Aaron is going for it?

Aaron man, don’t fuck it up

I know I should focus on Aaron, but Sander in the background smiling has my attention and I don’t feel bad about that at all

Aaron, man the fuck up! 

There ya go buddy

She is one of kind that’s for sure…

I know I give Amber a lot of shit but you go girl!!

AHHHHH!!!

Shock level 1,000

LOL at everyone’s reaction

**dances** this is my jam!!

DANCE FOR ME, DANCE FOR ME!!

Robbe go and dance my dude

Wait I remember the vlogs..nvm don’t dance

Sander and laughing is a beautiful combo

Oooo I see you Noor and Moyo

He told his mom!

Oh shit Sander looks good in this scene

Oh you got jokes again Sander? 

Yes meet the parents!!

I hope we get to see it (LOL at Kennedy)

Yeah but you’re bringing the BEST boy home

Robbe’s got jokes now too

Sander’s philosophy around Robbe now: clothing optional

Aww they’re so happy and cute! 

That is very true Robbe

The looks between--- oh shit hey Hot Mess Express!

OMG! Robbe said fuck all y’all I’m gonna make out with my bf in front of you

The fact that everyone is cheering them on and Robbe is comfortable with doing that...I’m overwhelmed

WAIT! It’s over?!?!

Holy shit I wasn’t ready…

I have so many thoughts on this season...it was so fucking good. Willem fucking killed it and whoever played Sander (informs her of his name) they are both Willem?! Wtf that’s confusing...anyways they both fucking killed it!! Robbe from episode 1 to now...I’m so proud...I have more thoughts so listen up

**goes on a rant for 10+ more minutes** I am definitely rewatching this season next week because I felt like i missed a lot and I want to focus on the small things

#wtfock #kennedy watches wtfock #sorry this is SO long #she had a lot to say obviously

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#35)

5x12 baby, helpppp how are we already at the penultimate episode (already, i say, after dragging this first-ever watch out basically as long as humanly possible L O L why am i like this)

my reactions / recap / flailing under the cut

I see that Tyra is literally the preview photo so I’m already like OH SHITTTT

Tami coming home from the airport with potentially life-altering news...and Eric is asleep in front of the TV on the couch, clearly trying to wait up for her, my heart.

AHHH Julie’s home??? A surprise? This is so fucking cute! The ending vibes are definitely here.

Omg Tim are you good, baby? Is he throwing his bed out of the trailer? Damn he clearly has so much trauma from prison.

Damn NBC 8 is pulling up, that’s how you know it’s State. “It’s State, Levi, get used to it.” “No, I’ll NEVER get used to it!” Lmao i love Levi.

WOW look at Luke trying to set up childcare so moms can participate in a hearing about school funding! GO OFF KING

Omg i almost forgot Mindy was pregnant again. Billy’s so excited...oh fuck, TWINS? They’re gonna be so broke forever. Mindy is as horrified as I would be lmao

Oh shit, here we go...Tami’s finally telling Eric about the job offer...and admitting she wants it!!! AHH

“We’d have to move to Philadelphia.” “We live in Texas. Honey, Texas...is where our friends and family are. Texas is where I work, Texas is where I have my job.” Weren’t y’all just thinking about moving to Florida like two episodes ago? I smell a double standard, sir!

Ugh Eric is shutting down. “I can’t talk about this right now.” BISH

“How many times have we moved before for your job?” MMHMM that’s right, Eric! You look shell-shocked but you need to take that in, sit with it!

Tim Riggins behind the bar is hot. Just an observation.

Ugh, the tension between poor Tim and Billy. Tim’s gonna go to Alaska?! WOW did not see that plan coming!

“What the hell are you gonna do, sleep with a bunch of woodchucks?” BILLY WHAT LMAO

“You’re gonna leave Texas?” “YES.” I love the drama in both these back to back conversations about the thought of Leaving Texas.

Broken dryer, Jess, I’ve been there. Like right now, we have a broken dryer in our apartment. Ooh, Vince coming and finding her and being gentle!

Aw poor Jess. “I finally found a coach who was open-minded enough to let me in and not laugh at me. He lets me shadow him and teach me how to be a coach, and now they’re gonna take it all away.” These poor kids.

VINCE: “We won’t let that happen.” MY HEART. I love them.

Wow, Luke’s being sold a low-tier football program, isn’t he? “We just got a Costco, and a brand new movie theater in the town.” yikes.

How is a reporter asking Eric “are you worried he’s taking on too much?” about a teenage boy. Like, how do they know this much about Vince’s life? Texas football culture will forever amaze me, even after watching almost the entire series.

“We haven’t even scratched the surface of what Vince Howard can do.” AWWW my heart! Eric is such a good coach.

Oh wow, the East Dillon Lions vs. Dillon Panthers funding debate!!! Did they send a Booster Club representative here to Buddy’s door to shake him down? “There’s gonna be a lot of changes.” Like what IS THIS?

“Vince Howard is gonna be a Panther.” This is... A Lot. “That chair at the head of the table is waiting on you.”

Oh nooooo Tim getting physical with a customer.

“I’ve been waiting five minutes for my drink.” FAMILIAR VOICE IN THE CORNER??? “Hey there, jailbird.” It’s Tyra, and she has long brown hair! I dig it! I dig this reunion!

Aw, Eric coming home and immediately apologizing to Tami for earlier.

Tami’s being realistic that if the Lions lose, their economic situation is in jeopardy—so a good job offer on the table is something to consider!

“So you’re routing against us?” OMG and there’s a moment when Tami thinks he’s referring to them but then realizes he’s referring to “oh, the team?” jfc “You and I, or us the Lions. Of course.”

“You know what, I’ve been a coach’s wife for 18 years. Every decision we’ve made has been based on your coaching career.” LIFE BEYOND FOOTBALL OH SHIT

Oh God Eric’s getting up with the keys???? Come on, dude! This is not cool! There are so many colleges and high schools in Pennsylvania! I promise they play football there!

Omg did Tyra just tell Tim about the twins since he refused to really talk to Billy?

Aw Tyra wrote to him in prison? That’s sweet.

Awww Mindy’s literally having a breakdown about not having enough space, and not being able to handle three kids. These poor babes. And the football team’s fate hinges on this because of the assistant coach’s salary...fucking crazy

Ooh now Buddy’s trying to hype Eric up on the Panther-Lions Superteam they’re gonna create.

Aw the whole fam at Billy and Mindy’s—Tyra, Becky, even Mama Collette.

“He’s got some stupid idea he’s gonna go to Alaska and work on a pipeline.” Well, when someone comes to prison and tells you they’ll actually let someone who has to check the felony box work a job with decent wages, yeah. God, the prison industrial complex sucks. Feeds the most vulnerable people into the shittiest jobs.

Julie outside of the Saracen home? Awww. Has she seen him since that romantic Chicago good-bye?

Luke, listen to Becky!! “I’d really appreciate if you put down the wrench and listen to me.” YES GURL

“That’s not real. You are! And I just think there’s been a lot of misunderstandings.” “Well, that’s really pretty you should put it in a love poem.” “Are you kidding me? Go to hell!” yeah, correct answer, Becky! These teens are under so much STRESS! The DRAMA!

Omg all these grown men screaming at the town hall meeting about football i cannot

Ewww these classist fucks. “Some of us on this side of town happen to own our houses.” Eat the rich.

Why the fuck is Billy writing a fucking speech while driving? And he’s surprised he swerved? Sir…

Aw poor Eric with pain in his eyes telling Billy he can’t be definitive about his job security...I mean, yeah.

Aw, Luke coming into the bar while Tim is working after...that talk with Becky…

“You and Becky...are you in love with her?” Tim looks so amused. “Are you serious?” “...Yeah. “No, I’m not in love with Becky. I care about her.” THANK YOU BOYS AND GIRLS CAN BE FRIENDS. Is this not what Becky tried to tell you last night? “I’ve been there a few times when nobody else was, but that’s about it.”

Aw Luke is so similar to Tim rn! Not “feeling it” from the school that wants him, even tho he loves football!

“You’re going to state, yeah? Nothing’s gonna beat that.” “Play it that way. Play it like it’s the last time you’re ever gonna lace up.” Some iconic Tim Riggins lines here!

“We were at the meeting last night, but we don’t want to argue or yell, we just want to give you our thoughts.” MY HEART i love Vince and Jess. “Well, that’ll be refreshing.” LOL after all these grown ass men were screaming over each other

“Was it really that bad?” “If you’re asking if I was raped in prison, Tyra, the answer’s no.” LOSING IT at this exchange lmao

“Tim Riggins, what the hell is going on with you?” that’s the question!

Oh shit is Tyra just finding out that Tim took the fall for Billy now...fuck

“He had a wife, a family. I had the chance to give him something, to give Stevie something we never had. To give him his father.” Damn, the look on Tyra’s face. She knows all too well why he did what he did even tho it fucked him up :( THE EMOTION. THE PAIN!

Damn they’re announcing the decision on the Dillon teams *before* state?

“What are you hoping for?” loaded question, Julie! “I hope that the Lions get to stay put, and I hope that I get to be Dean of Admissions at Braemore College.” awww yeah you do deserve it all, Tami.

Oh wow all these people from both teams standing in the street, drinking and talking and waiting for the decision with “i was living in a devil’s town” playing??? THIS SHOW.

I feel for the dude who has to address this town about this decision.

Anddd there it is, they eliminated the East Dillon program. The rich kids cheering for their victory in front of the poor kids mourning the end of the program they fought to make better is so fucking tacky.

And omg now they have to play state?

“Let me tell you something, you’re gonna be the star quarterback of the Dillon panthers next year, and you’re gonna shine.” OH this hug between Eric and Vince! “See you at practice tomorrow.” Again, the reminder that these people gotta play a *state championship*! wild

“We need to talk.” BUDDY WHAT?

Aw Julie and Tyra hanging out and there are Panthers screaming out of cars. “Welcome back to Dillon.” “No place like it.” Oh, this warms my heart.

I love this exchange: “You know, it’s kind of like this drug. When you get outside of it, you see it for what it really is. But when you’re in it, it seems like there’s no other possible reality.” “It’s a hard place to shake.” “Yeah...I didn’t see that one coming.”

“Whatever happened with you and Matty?” SAME, TYRA, SAME. “We’re good. I mean, we still talk every now and then. He went to Chicago. I went to visit him awhile back, and...I don’t really know what we are or aren’t or…” INTRIGUE. “I kind of just really miss him.” “Life’s harder when you really love someone.” Awwww. I loved that scene so much.

Wow, Buddy and Eric are talking at the Panthers field?

Oh, Buddy’s trying to sell him on winning the championship and then going to the Panthers to coach along with Vince….

“I can never come back to this school and coach. Never.” I mean, FAIR.

“Three rings in six years. That’s history. No one’s ever done that. You’ve got everything you want.” Yeah, Buddy, but does Tami get what she wants in that scenario?

Lol i love all the East Dillon Lions drunk on the field, like seasons’ past with teams past…

“Alright I’m taking a piece of grass home.” LOL TINK

To State and to Coach Taylor, huh? Sounds familiar. And Buddy Jr. is puking. Lmao.

“Just make sure you’re really okay with losing him.” YES Tyra! As much as Billy has majorly fucked up, i agree with her that the idea of the Riggins brothers losing each other when they ONLY had each other for so long...it makes my heart sad.

Oh shit are Tim and Tyra about to kiss? I almost forgot they were together back when this whole show started! “Please don’t go.” DAMNNN

Wow what a scene. Eric comes home with his news that he could have “everything” and Tami replies, “I’ll say to you what you haven’t had the grace to say to me: congratulations, Eric.

“I want you to take me someplace.” “Where?” “I’ll tell you when we’re on the way.” This is really cute! Also Tyra is so hot damn gurl i see you!

Aw Vince shooting his shot, yes! “What about you and me?” “I was really proud of how hard you tried. Thank you.”

“You already have two strikes against you.” “Jess, I was born with two strikes against me.” LOL SO TRUE. and aw what a hug!

Tyra took him to his land, didn’t she??? “Alaska, Tim?” He’s SMILING. Is that Texas Forever vibes i’m seeing here?

AH, Matt is home with a Christmas tree to see his grandma!!! She’s so excited!!

Aw she forgot his dad’s dead? “Did you say it was Christmas?” Oh this is so sad.

Why are Buddy and the Panthers coach standing at the Taylors’ front door like fucking cops late at night? This football program is sinister at times.

“Eighteen years.” Yeah, Tami. And then she turns it back on: “Can I get you two anything? Iced tea, water?” and FADE TO BLACK.

Damn!! What an amazing set-up for a series finale I’ve heard only good things about!!! AHHHH

#maria watches friday night lights #mine #friday night lights 5x12

[peaches-of-1]

Trivia: Holiday Dance

J-Hope x Black!Youtuber

You came to Korea with high hopes that had been met. They are now surpassed as you get the chance to make a youtube video with several BTS members. The recording goes much better than expected, just in time for Christmas.

I walked around the town taking my time as I were getting the last needed things to stay inside for Christmas. My family wasn’t in Korea, but I was. I had moved there...here because of my chance at getting famous. It’s true I had many talents and I wasn’t spectacularly gorgeous, but it was Korea. I had been hoping to take the Sam Okyere route and be famous for being black. And before you say some dumb shit about using my race as an advantage, chill. There aren’t many places where my dark skin is a good thing. We’re usually crooks and rapists and filling up jail cells on dumbass charges, but here.

Here in Korea I was praised for being myself. My self confidence has blossomed and I’m less depressed. Yeah, there are times when I’m told to go back to where I came from or something like that but more people tell that person to shut up no matter if they’re older or not. I feel respected here which is why I’ve stayed in Korea for three years now.

And have I gotten famous? Yes. I’ve gotten famous for my unique style which is apparently still unique in Korea. I run a YouTube channel but I have also become a TV personality and equality advocate. It’s really fun. I get to meet a lot of celebs and get to travel a lot.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” Someone called. They approached me wearing a green padded jacket and western styled makeup on. Their body looked like a caterpillar and the face a butterfly.

I stopped, “Yes. Hello?”

We bowed to each other.

“I’m Kim Gertrude. I work for some very important people. Here’s my card.”

She handed the card to me and I saw she was one of BTS’s managers. Married by the looks of it. I had met several before, but schedules man. You think idols are busy? I just got my own editor for my videos and I still had a lot of legwork to do.

“Hi, Gertrude. Nice to meet you.”

She smiled, “I know we’ve tried to set up something before, but a lot of staff has been fired in the recent...event. I just wanted to make sure we still had some connection with you and heard you were headed to Megan’s place today.”

I nodded, “Oh, I am. We’re shooting a video today. That’s very kind of you to go out of your way to confirm that. Uh, quick question. I have a mostly clear schedule for the next two weeks since I’m doing things in advanced and this is the last video I’m shooting for my channel event. Anyways, um, is there a chance I could have one day with at least one of the guys anywhere in that time?”

Gertrude tapped her lip, “Maybe. I’ll have to double check and let you know. I left my work phone somewhere. I promise to let you know as soon as possible. I have to get going now. Thank you for your time.”

“You’re welcome. Thank you for the card and I hope to hear you from you soon.”

After bowing to each other, she went to a car that was waiting and I continued to my friend Megan’s place. We were recording for my 25 days of videos. It was two months until December and the holiday season, so I had a lot of events to go to. I’d do vlogs too, but for YouTube content I’d be doing as many collabs as possible.

“(Y/N)!” Megan said with a big smile when I got to her door. Her cats meowed all around as we hugged each other.

I made sure to give them pets and scratches too.

[Thirty minutes later]

The first video for her channel was recorded, and I legit smelled like cat food. Feathers were everywhere. We tested to see what the cats would do with certain toys, which they liked the best, which they didn’t really like. They destroyed three feathered ones, so it was time for clean up and a quick break before we started recording mine.

With the feathers in the trash, I decided to check my phone while she ordered take out. I had sent Gertrude a confirmation text and she said she was glad to know I was actually interested and that she had heard good things from the former employees and really liked me work, all that jazz.

Then this exchange happened once I checked my phone. I nearly screamed.

I lied. I had no ideas that hadn’t already been used up for the 25 days thing. My face must’ve looked very stressed because Megan gave me a confused look.

“You good?”

“If I show you this, you can’t tell anyone until it’s over.”

She nodded, “I swear on my life, girl.”

I showed her the text messages and her eyes lit up. She grabbed my phone to scream and then looked at me. Looking at the phone, she screamed again.

“NOoooo”

“Yesss!”

“Girl, I’ve been doing this for 10 years and I couldn’t even get ten seconds with…” She handed my phone back, “What’s the idea?”

“I don’t have one! I came up with so many ideas for my channel for the 25 days things and the only things I didn’t do was because they are impossible or they suck ass!”

Megan shook her head and held out her hand, “List.”

I scrolled on my phone to show her the list. She looked through it and we stood in awkward but excited silence for a good few seconds as she saw what wasn’t crossed out.

“Potato sack race? In the winter?”

“Anyways!” I waved my hand.

Then she held out her phone while her fluffiest cat jumped onto the counter and into my arms, “What about this one? Random dance play? They’re dancers, or even guess the song! You both love music!”

“But the copyrights! I’m broke, sis!” I whined.

“Make it BTS. They can’t strike you if they’re listening to their own music.”

I wanted to facepalm so hard, “You’re right! OMG thank you so much!”

The doorbell buzzed. Probably food. I started texting back.

The food was set up in the living room when I returned. Megan asked how it went, and I told her I was just waiting to see if any of the guys wanted to do it. She said she was so glad for me but I owed her a name drop for helping. Of course! I’d make sure it was kept in the video intro. She laughed and we recorded my video which just us doing each other’s makeup with children’s makeup kits that one would get from like the toy section.

It was just a fun thing, but I had to remember to wash it off because it was also done blindfolded and we looked like wrecks with a capital R.

When next week arrived, I had become that girl who was trying to impress guys but “not too much” Not like I bought a whole new outfit to wear or started preparing my hair ahead of time or anything. I didn’t make a video vlog of my shopping or upload my selfie to my insta account. Nothing...like...that.

Ok, fine. Maybe I did, but don’t I look damn fine?

The plan was to do one all BTS dances and then one full of iconic hits. Mostly TWICE, Hyuna, and Super Junior from the sounds of it. I told Gertrude the guys could just show up in whatever they usually do their dance practices in, something comfortable.

I was wearing leggings, a tank top, and a sheer mesh dress with some white tennis shoes. Clean, but not like I was trying too hard. I just did some lip tint and foundation for a confidence booster and cameras. Waterproof or not, nothing was going on my eyes. I even put on extra strength deodorant cuz I’d be stanky and I didn’t wanna be stanky around BTS. My hair was in two cute buns. Basically a stylish workout.

Taking a deep breath, I went inside and Gertrude greeted me. She said the boys were wrapping up a project and were running a bit late. I was escorted to the practice room while given some rules of what could and could not go into the videos final cut, if it should happen. I told them I followed most of the KBS TV show guidelines when interacting with idols.

“Trust me. Me and my editor take our utmost care to show honest celebrities without tarnishing their records.”

Then they left me in the room to set up with a bodyguard who also had some tech knowledge in case I needed help. I set up my own camera and tripod and tested the speakers. I made sure my earrings were still in and that I wasn’t sweating too much. Then I turned on my phone camera.

“Hey, guys. It’s ya girl PeachesNoCream hear recording yet another video for you. I am not sure when this is going up, I’m thinking sometime during Kwanzaa since you guys need to catch up on my 25 Collabs of Christmas. If you haven’t go see those now.” I smiled and giggled, getting into YouTuber mode.

I messed with a puff making sure it stayed lively, “Anywhoosies, if you’ll notice, I am not in any of my usual spots today. You’ll see, I’ve been blessed by the k-pop gods themselves to do a video with some idols from my favorite group. They’re running a bit late, but it just give me more time to set up...and work on my intro several times until they show up.”

Which I did until the fifth take wasn’t too fake, wasn’t too squeaky or could be perceived as fake. Then I answered some emails while pacing around talking to my editor and confirming or rejecting certain events. I was going to be called in last minute to do this Winterview, I just knew it. Just as I was checking my teeth in the front facing camera, they walked in.

Three of the seven gods belonging to BTS. Damn, how were they all so attractive? I forgot how to breath for a solid five seconds before bowing and greeting them, shaking their hands and such.

“Wow, you guys were so late, I started to wonder if I had been pranked.” Why the fuck did I say that?

They chuckled, “Sorry, Hobi took forever deciding which shorts to wear.”

“I watch your videos sometimes and saw that you made a video about your favorite body parts on idols. Number 1 was my legs and my abs, but you gotta earn those.” He laughed.

I smiled back, “Wow thanks. So you know what we’re gonna do today, right?”

“We gonna dance!” Jimin exclaimed!

“Yep. The first one is all your songs and then the second is just from all over kpop. Do you guys wanna do an intro with me?”

The three boys nodded, and so I came up with an idea on the spot. They in on the other side of my camera and I introduced myself with the basic script I had liked the most from earlier.

“...I’ve been blessed by the k-pop gods themselves. Would you like to meet them?” I turned my body to stand in front of them and they waved and smiled. “It’s BTS!”

Hoseok was laughing, “K-pop gods.”

I smiled at him, making eye contact and then cut off the camera. “That was good, guys. Now, part two of the intro is me explaining what we’re doing for a few seconds.”

Testing the speakers once more, I turned on the camera and had the guys stand on either side of me. They were all taller than I was by at least two inches, but I was pretty sure Jimin was wearing lifts.

“So what am I doing with the deities of dance? Dancing, of course. The four of us will be doing a random dance challenge with BTS songs and some iconic ones afterwards. The songs may be new or old, but either way the chorus will play and we have to do our best at doing the correct choreography. Got it, guys?” I looked at each of them.

“Got it!”

“Sounds fun!”

“Let’s get it!”

I smiled, “Alright, let’s clear the floor. I’ve mostly followed J-Hope and Suga when learning dances, so I’ll be doing their stuff most of the time.” I looked over to the assigned helper. “Yoosung, start the video please. Video links will be in the description.”

The intro music played. Then the countdown began. | “I need you girl, wheh…” started playing, and the guys began doing their thing. I joined in the body rolls and steps. I really liked doing this one. I think there was even an “in heels” cover somewhere on my channel.

Thirty minutes later, the list ended and the boys said that there were some they needed to practice again. They were smiling and laughing which was a good sign. I really just wanted them to have some fun even if I was chugging down a whole TaTa water bottle. They had stamina for the gods, and I barely had it for myself.

Hoseok laughed at my huge sigh after water spilled down my chin, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Good thing I brought a towel.” I got the small towel out of my bag and wiped my sweat on the way to the small puddle, but the assistant was already mopping it up. “Oh, thanks.”

“No problem.” He smiled and then set up the next round of songs.

I spoke to the camera again, so glad I wouldn’t have to edit this myself or I’d probably die of embarrassment.

“So, how was that, Jimin?”

“It was fun! I wanna do more!”

Taehyung laughed, “Even though you went the wrong way during--”

Jimin became a giggly mochi as he hit Tae’s arm, “Shut up!”

“Well, we have time for one more video. It’s iconic dances of all time. Do you still want to do it?”

They all said yes, of course, so we went into the second round of dances. I had learned so much more ever since coming to Korea, and we got excited when our favorites came on or ones that brought nostalgia. Hobi was a bit shy to join some even though he was shaking his hips or moving his arms from the side.

And then fifteen minutes in, “Troublemaker” came on. Taehyung was Jimin’s Hyuna, and I did the Queen’s part by myself. I knew they probably wouldn’t dance with me to this type of song, and I understood. It was just the chorus, but as it went on, I couldn’t help but feel kinda left out? That’s the best way to describe it. Even though I was doing well, I was about to go back to the sidelines until I felt a presence behind me and arms under mine.

Hobi danced the rest of the short section with me, letting me put my palms on top of his. The song launched into the slow part, and let me tell you. Time literally slowed down. It felt really natural to be doing this with him. Our bodies moved in sync like they were one and he kept his manner hands as much as he could. But damn. Our chemistry.

I smiled and he grinned back. Then the snippet ended and the next song came on. My heart was going fast, so I took a break from a few songs to get a drink of water. He continued to dance with his members. A girl was shook and that girl was me.

Chung Ha’s “Love You” came on near the end and J-Hope grabbed my hand to pull me to the dance floor. He was adorkable as he placed me in front of him. This time, Jimin got to be the main girl and Taehyung did backup. I did my best not to be extra, but this dance probably wasn’t going to get into the final cut anyways. When it was time for the full body roll and hand over waist moment, I took my chance to grab the back of his hand for just a moment.

Five more choruses, and it was done. The boys said how much fun they had on camera while I forced my attention to anywhere but J-Hope. We were all breathing hard and then off. We all high fived each other and used our sweat towels to wipe off our perspiration. I did a quick pit sniff as slyly as I could, and Jimin smiled at me. We giggled at each other.

They all helped me pack up even though Hoseok helped me the most. Tae and Jimin went into the hall to talk about something and said they’d be back soon.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but why were you late? It couldn’t have taken that long for just some shorts.”

“Oh, uh. They wanted help with a Christmas song. We really wanted to make an album for it this year. That’s what they’re probably talking about right now. We’re gonna record some more once we get back to the dorms.”

A vague memory popped in my head, “Is it that one Taehyung…”

Hoseok nodded, and I smiled. So they were gonna end up singing it together after all. That made me happy.

“I’m glad. They deserve to sing together.” I said as I zipped up the last bag.

That’s when the boys came back in. Taehyung apologized for taking so long. Hobi said that she knew about the song, and they smiled at her. Jimin looked like he wanted to say something but decided not to and told us to ignore him.

I giggled, “I guess that’s it then. It was an honor to work with you guys. I hope we can do some more videos again some time.”

“Nooo, don’t gooo. Come to dinner with us?”

“I thought we were just gonna get takeout and watch movies before hitting the studio. Y’know, back at the dorms.” J-Hope said, confused.

Not gonna lie, I was confused too, “Well, if you’re gonna do all that. I don’t wanna intrude. I’ve taken up enough of your time.”

Taehyung wasn’t having it as he grabbed my arm and pulled me along, “No, no, no. We’re going out to eat together. There’s a place nearby that I haven’t gotten to try when not in a rush. It’ll be fun. Jimin, carry her stuff.”

The pink haired man grabbed the duffle in my right hand while Hobi followed behind, holding my other bag. The excited puppy-like Taehyung went on and on about how good the cold noodles were at this restaurant and how they’d have one of their managers drive me home instead of me having to take a cab or the train. I thought Why not? Free food! And ordered a few sushi rolls and we shared a huge bowl of cold noodles. It was really fun.

They asked me about videos and who I had gotten to interact with over the years. Hobi and Tae seemed the most interested while Jimin’s attention was more on the bottle of soju that a fan at another table ordered for them. It was even better that I could also ask them questions that I had been wondering about for years! Most importantly, which ARMY got the Bangtan Universe timeline correct? I know they had watched videos to see if anyone had. They were curious like that especially when it came to their fans and their content.

J-Hope replied that no one had gotten it 100% right, but a certain youtuber had gotten about 86% right but switched several key events. I asked who.

“That’s for us to know, and for you to find out.” Jimin winked at me and then got shy, hitting Joon’s arm. “Ah, that’s so cheesy.”

We had gotten a booth, but the boy with the boxy smile was the one sitting next to me while the two others sat across from us. About three hours had passed by with us just talking. Then it was time for me to upload the footage to my computer and send it to my editor. I wondered if she was up. I needed to fangirl to someone who would keep it a secret until it was uploaded.

I laughed and called her, “Hiya.”

“Oh my god, girl!” She squeaked. “Are you serious? You really shot this video today? Like, today today?”

“Yeah.” I chuckled. “I told you what I was gonna be doing.”

“Yeah, but you never said who it was gonna be with. BTS? I am so proud of you, but also. Mama can’t edit this without some notes. Some tea worthy notes.”

I had just gotten out of the shower, so I was doing my face mask and night routine in my oversized jumper and ankle socks. We usually talked like this while she did the first round of editing and then she’d would text me for anything else she needed info on. Like always, she ran the conversation just because that’s how our relationship worked.

“It wasn’t much. We just danced. They were late because of work stuff, so I was able to record some solo intros for you to choose from. Should I have gotten some more intros with them it it? I felt like the first one was good enough.”

Her deep voice laughed, “If you think it’s good enough, it probably is. But stop being so shy. What was is like? Who’s hottest in person?”

“You say that as if Hobi doesn’t own my heart and soul. Do you expect another answer?” I replied, remembering the dances we did...and his hands on my waist. His hands in my hands. His front pressed up against my back. How in sync our moments were.

“Y/N!!!!” My editor yelled.

I nearly dropped my phone as I dropped, “Yea?”

“Where did you go and why did your breathing get heavier? No wait...” She gasped. “Gurl. He did not. He. Did. NOT!!!”

She had gotten to that one. You knew it. The music played from her computer, and you could hear it through the phone. She was screaming at the top of her lungs from excitement. Her words were incomprehensible until her neighbor yelled at her. After apologizing, she was back.

“Hyuna! He danced behind you like that? TaeTae and Chim even left the stage because y’all were getting it on. This isn’t going in the video is it?”

“No! No way. I’d get fucking murdered if any sasaengs or worse, hardcore ARMY, saw that. I might put that in a blooper reel. Might, in like two million years. Also, we do Chung Ha’s song together too, so cut that out please. I quite enjoy living.”

She squealed quietly again, “Please tell me you got his number!”

I scoffed, “Nah, but he did help me pack up afterwards. Also, Tae made sure I ate dinner with them. A manager drove me back home, so that was fun.”

She was probably gonna ask what we talked about over dinner, but there was a loud crash and the sound of a dog whining. She had to go. I ended up falling asleep to the latest episode of Hello Counselor and waking up to my phone going absolutely insane. I woke up with drool on my face and the mask barely hanging on.

Luckily, it had been charging nearby. So I grabbed it and I couldn’t believe it. Apparently I had uploaded a video last night that had now reached 1 million views already. So many comments were pouring in. I had to turn off notifications before my phone literally exploded. It was already very hot.

“Wh-what the fuck?” My tired brain tried to understand what was going on.

Underneath the YouTube notifs was a text from my editor.

> Hey, I edited the video while my dog had to go the hospital last night and decided to uploaded it since I finished. Hope you don’t mind! ^_^

> OMG, girl. Check the video. You’re trending already!

I am gonna kill you <

> Love you too! Call me when you can! ^3^

I refreshed the page and it was almost at 3 million. I wanted to look at the comments, I really did. But I also was fucking terrified. There were so many missed calls and my Twitter and my Insta were also blowing up. I had to turn off every notification ever and make my own posts to maybe quell the flames.

Twitter: Holy shit, guys! My editor uploaded that for me as a surprise...to me. Thanks to @bts_twt for all the working with me, but I’m scared to look at the comments *scared face*

Instagram Story: Appreciate the support but stop blowing me up, thx!

Even though it was a lot of good news that I was seeing at first glance, it took me way too long to get rid of all my notifications. Also, I knew that was getting hate. Yeah, I had been doing this for years but I had a soft heart especially for things I cared about a lot. It’s not like I had time to prepare myself for any of this. | Deep breaths. I had to take deep breaths and made an instagram poll.

Read the comments on my YT vid or no?

Of course most of them said yes with the hope of their comment being seen and liked by me. Fine, I would, but D had to be on the phone with me as I did from my laptop just as moral support and to make me feel better about any mean ones. I probably had on more comment filters than necessary anyways, but just in case.

I scrolled down and there was a lot of good. A lot of people laughed at the forgotten bits of choreo and how exaggerated they were when doing the other’s solo dances. There were a lot of comments that had a timestamp around 38:22.

“D?”

“Mm-hmm?”

“What’s at 38 minutes and 22 seconds?”

Her voice went high, “Nothing?”

I smacked my lips and whispered, “Girl, I swear to god, if that’s what I think it is…”

“No, don’t--”

I clicked and there on my screen was J-Hope and I dancing to “Troublemaker” together. The other time stamp was 56:04. Guess what that was? You guessed it. “Love You” which I didn’t mind as much, but I was gonna die. My face got so warm.

“Oh my gahd. Oh my fucking god. I’m dead. I’m gonna die.” I took a deep breath and contemplated letting it out. Eventually, I did. “I can’t go outside today or tomorrow or ever again!”

D scoffed, “Gurl, it’s not like they know this was recorded yesterday or whatever. It could’ve been done a long time ago.”

I paced around my apartment, phone pressed to my ear and voice rising, “Denessa, Jimin’s hair was blonde until a week ago until it became pink which it is in my video. They’re gonna know it’s hella recent. Also, also, Taehyung posted a selca yesterday about having a good time dancing. They’re gonna connect the dots and murder me for messing with their oppas!”

“If I was there, I’d slap you. Get a hold of yourself, girly. So what if it’s recent? They aren’t gonna kill you. As if you hadn’t gotten death threats before. Did anything happen then?”

“Nothing dramatic, just the letters.”

“Exactly. You can throw those out. You’ll be fine. Anyways, if you really do feel unsafe, then you can call the police. They’ll actually help you here.”

I breathed, “You’re right. You’re right. I do feel bad because I feel as though they’ll get mad at me for adding those moments. Also, I just don’t want any rumors.”

“I feel bad for putting them in. They just looked so cute! I’ll edit it out and reupload.”

“Just keep them in unless we get in trouble. It’s out there now. People have saved the clips already.” I chuckled and heard a text come through. After checking I wanted to die again. “Hey, it’s the manager. I’ll text you later.”

“Good luck, girly.”

Gertrude sent me a number and said to call it asap. I did even though my stomach felt like it was a hole or emptiness. I decided to make a bowl of cereal as I waited for the other side to pick up and also prayed that it wasn’t Bang PD or the legal team of some corporation wanting to sue me for the content.

A deep and chipper voice answered, “Hello, (Y/N)?”

“Hi...yeah, it’s me.”

“Good. It’s Hoseok.”

J-Hope! I nearly choked on a Cheerio, “Um. Hi, Hoseok. What-uh, what made you need me to call you? Before you say anything, it was my editor who did everything. I had no idea she uploaded it until last night. It’s not the first time she’s done this but I didn’t mean for anything to happen like--”

“Hey, hey, calm down. I watched it with the guys. I was staring a lot, huh?”

I nodded but then realized he couldn’t see me, “Y-yeah...I noticed that too. We’ve got good chemistry though.” What was I saying? That’s probably not what he wanted. “I can tell her to edit it out or the parts where we danced together. It’s no biggie.”

He chuckled, “No, it isn’t that. I’m actually glad she kept them in, actually. We’ve been wanting a new image lately, and I think this’ll help move it in the right direction.”

“Really?” Said I who was quite shook.

“Really.” He shifted the phone before speaking again. “The fans aren’t giving you a hard time, are they?”

“No. They’re actually being really nice. Just the usual hate that I deal with on a much grander scale because you know, it’s trending and all.”

“Congrats!” He said, a smile in his voice.

I didn’t want him to hang up, and I didn’t have anything to do today. Still, I felt like we should be saying something even though this was the most comfortable silence I had ever experienced.

“What are you--?” Hobi said the same time as I said, “Is that--” We laughed at the cross over and told the other to go first. He was older, so he spoke.

He asked what I was doing for Christmas since there was a ball he wanted to invite me to as his date. All of BTS would be escorting someone, mostly friend, family, or ARMY. Basically, he saw you as a friend and wanted to spend more time with me. I was not shook. I was not shaken nor stirred.

I was shooketh.

“So, we’re going as friends?” I asked just to make sure my heart could calm down a bit.

He hesitated, “Yes. Does that mean you’re coming?”

“Yeah. Sounds fun. What’s the dress code?”

“I’ll send you something. We’ll match!” The smile in his voice was evident.

I blinked, “What do you mean you’ll send me something. Hoseok, you don’t even know my--”

“Uh, sorry. Hyung needs me for something. See you soon. Bye!”

Beep. He hung up. I looked at myself in the mirror, making my pajamas as tight as possible. Just looking at my body trying to see what he saw. It wasn’t anything too special. Then again, he did like black girls. I smirked and then broke out into a full out smile and held my cheeks. My chest felt like it was a ball of light. Jung Hoseok was my friend. I was so lucky! Thank goodness I stayed in Korea.

I just stayed low for a while after the video came out. Yeah, the death threats and racial slurs increased in my inboxes and messages of all sorts, but that just meant my block button was getting used a lot more too. About a week had passed and most of them had gone away to the latest scandal and relationship drama or whatever.

No one told me to edit out the moments of me and J-Hope dancing together. I guess it was because it was seen through a logical lense for the most part. The dances required two people to dance together, and it wasn’t extremely sexual. Manner hands were obvious and made even more obvious by D’s editing skills. I thanked her for that. To be completely honest, I was sorta really glad that it was kept there and that a certain channel called KMusicAndBlackWomen asked if she could include it in her next video.

With Hoseok’s permission, I was able to say yes. The two of us eventually met up again and he asked once more if the comments were bad. He was really worried because he knew there were some real asshats who claimed to be their fans even though they’d never want someone so hateful in their fandom. We even grabbed lunch where I told him about the awful Winterview that would be happening two days before the ball.

“Why’s it so awful? I mean, I don’t really watch it but everyone seems to enjoy watching it every year.”

I sighed, “One of the hosts is always saying slightly racist, well completely racist things and people laugh it off. I just smile too because I’m not one for confrontation.” I stirred my hot cocoa and watched the mini marshmallows melt.

“If they’re saying dumb shit, then call them out.” Hoseok gave me an unexpected answer. “At least let them know it’s not ok, or they’re gonna keep doing it. Online comments can only do so much. I’m sure they’ll stop or at least watch what they say if you do it during the interview.”

“No promises. It’s just they’re so much popular than I am.” I didn’t say the name since I knew Hobi worked closely with her.

He held your hand on the table for a moment, “Listen. There’s only one of them and there are millions of black fans who hate to hear that person say racist stuff. If you won’t do it for you, do it for the fans. Yours and theirs who usually have to keep quiet.”

I hoped Hoseok was right. Putting on basic foundation before I left, I made sure I had everything I needed since I’d be out all day. I also took migraine medicines because I had been dreading this day. This time would be my fourth time doing this.

More importantly, I hoped I had the guts to say something when she said some dumb shit. I had to laugh at myself. Not “if” but “when” because I knew she was gonna spew some bull from that useless mouth of hers.

Like every year prior, we shared the same dressing room. I was to wear a simple red and cream colored Gucci dress with a long sleeve shirt under which was the same creamy tone along with green stockings and a small Christmas hat pinned into my hair. Later on a red and green suit would be my outfit because we had a 15 minute intermission for the hour long livestream.

“I’ll be watching! You’ll do great. Fighting!” Hobi texted me, and I smiled at my phone.

“What, did you get a notification for a discount on dashikis?” It was her. Winnie.

I set my jaw, “Nope. Just a friend of mine wishing me luck.” I turned my phone on silent and slid it into my pocket.

Before she could say something else, we were called to our seats. Then it was lights, cameras, action. The four guests were introduced: Me, Winnie, a male YouTuber named Carlos, and underrated solo idol James. Carlos was a friend of mine and had the longest hair out of anyone there. It was braided back and tied with a red and green ribbon.

We would be answering questions and playing games all night. Things went well, and Winnie kept quiet for the most part. She was polite, which was sort of weird. Like, she was usually polite but just racist towards black people in a passive aggressive way.

“So, (Y/N),” James asked. “You’ve had a video go viral lately. What do you think attributed to it getting so popular in such a short period of time?”

“Well, uh, it was an accidental upload of sorts. My editor had spare time to edit as she was waiting for her dog to get treated--he’s ok by the way, and she just posted it for me. As to what caused the popularity, it was BTS. They’re good guys and popular and talented, and people are constantly looking for content of them. I just happened to be the supplier of it that day.”

Winnie commented, “You’re used to supplying people with their daily fix, aren’t you?”

Drugs. She was talking about me being a drug supplier. Not just me, either, every black person that ever breathed. As if there hadn’t been thousands of cases where people of color had been framed or wrongfully killed because of suspicion. As if it were a joke she was allowed to make. The others gave a quiet laugh, looking for me to say if it was ok to find this humorous.

“You’re a comedian, right?” I asked.

“Yeah?”

“Then try saying something funny instead of the racist bullshit you’re always spewing.” Everyone got silent. “Just because I’m black I must be a drug dealer? That’s what you’re saying.”

She tried to backtrack, “N-no. It’s just that--”

I wasn’t going to let her, “I’ve dealt with you for three years, Winnie. I’m putting my foot down. Make a real joke for once instead of turning yourself into one. Let’s continue.” I looked at Carlos and put on a smile. “Yeah, so it was a lot of fun getting to interact with them. BTS are just a bunch of sweethearts. I’m lucky I got to interact with them.”

The main host cleared his throat, “Um, well, that’s...that’s good to hear (Y/N). We’re gonna take a quick commercial break and be back in just a moment.”

All eyes were now on me after CUT was called. Makeup artists started to approach the stage and do touchups for everyone.

Winnie was shocked, “What was that, (Y/N)? Couldn’t you just smile through it? You know how I joke.” She tried to be buddy buddy with me now.

“I do, and that wasn’t a joke. Well, not a good one at least. Good jokes are funny. Also, I’ve been smiling through your so-called jokes and dying inside for way too long. I’m done. If you can’t take it, then don’t try to dish it out.”

I held up my finger when my makeup artist redid my lips and smiled at him, “Thanks, Saeran.” I smacked my lips. My smile faded when looking Winnie right in her blue colored contacts. “If the next thing out of your mouth isn’t an apology, I don’t wanna hear it.”

“Alright, 30 seconds everyone!” The director called.

Everyone scrambled to their seats and she kept silent. I scoffed. Of course she wouldn’t apologize. She was too good for that, apparently. As the stream went on, there was more laughter and reading of questions. The games still went on. Once the last one was cleaned up, we could answer ten more questions and then say our goodbyes.

“Question #9 is for (Y/N). Will you ever make a video about the racism and ignorance you have faced in Korea, or is it small enough where it’s not worth talking about?”

“Awwww.” The others went sadly.

I know what I had to say, and I would mean every word of it, “Well, I think the earlier event that happens answers part of your question. I’ve been here a long time, and I’ve mentioned being the victim of ignorance many times. Less than the good times, but I still think it’s about time that it gets its own video. It’ll come sometime January, probably.” I smiled and laughed.

Everyone nodded and then the last question was being read, “Final one. Is there anything you really want for Christmas?”

James said, “A girlfriend would be nice.”

“I’d like to see my dogs back home in Canada.”

“A new look.” was Carlos’s reply.

I thought for a moment before saying, “World peace or a really long nap.”

Everyone smiled and laughed.

“Well, that’s it. Thank you all fo--”

“Actually. I wanna change mine.” Winnie said, surprising everyone.

Girl was about to do some shit, I could just feel it. I braced myself for another snide comment reeking of ego.

She turned to me, “I want (Y/N)’s forgiveness for Christmas.” She stood and bowed at my feet like a proper Korean.

I was shocked to say the least. Was this actually happening? Where was I supposed to look? I wasn’t exactly sure how to feel about this.

“(Y/N) I am sorry. I have been a complete jerk to you for no reason. Honestly, I don’t wanna be known for making cheap shots at you, so I apologize for every one I’ve made and I promise I won’t do it anymore.”

My mouth flapped open several times before I could say something, “Thanks for apologizing. I’ll have to see you actually do what you say before I can completely and honestly forgive you.”

What the fuuuuuuck? I got out of my seat and quickly went to the dressing room where I took off my Christmas suit. The two of us didn’t say anything else to each other than good nights when I left first and “Happy Holidays!” following after. I needed a drink. |

Good thing D had texted me earlier. She said we needed to celebrate me growing a spine. We got wine drunk at her place as people tweeted about the “Feud” between me and Winnie or whatever. When I got home the next day, there were a few boxes waiting for me. I opened them once I was inside.

It was the most beautiful snowy dress ever. Elsa could only dream of such a dress. It was forest green with white beading to make it look as though snowflakes had landed on the dress. Trying it on, it was perfect. How did he know what my sizes were? There was another two boxes. One had snow colored heels and the other had...a tiara! Oh my god!

I couldn’t believe it. I had to text him.

I twirled in the dress for a good hour before finally taking it off. Wow, ok, so I had to do my own makeup for this? I needed to step up my game. Internet beauty gurus here I come! Wait, I needed to eat first. | The day soon arrived where I got my makeup done by a store known for giving free makeovers. I tweaked it to be a bit more sparkly when I got home. We walked the red carpet which is something that I’ve done before but never with someone so popular and kind. It was beautiful inside where all sorts of idols danced and talked to one another.

It was a good time to just relax and chill with Hoseok. I was nervous, but his calming aura put me at ease. While talking people brought up my Winterview, and I stood my ground. A lot of people were proud of me. Hobi seemed to smile every time someone said they were glad I finally stood up to her. Apparently, a lot of people had kept silent about her sucky brand of “humor”

“So, is there anything you wanna do before the new year rings in?”

“I don’t think so. I just wanna enjoy my time with you today and not worry about the future for a little bit y’know?”

He smiled, “You’re so cute. I’m honestly really proud of what you did the other day. It makes me glad to see you speaking for yourself.”

I said thanks and asked if he wanted anything to do before the year was over. He said he wanted to do two things he had never done before. Those two things were 1. Beat Junkook in a round of Overwatch and 2. Do something very Christmassy

“Like what?”

“Drink eggnog, open presents in pajamas, Christmas karaoke, kisssomeoneunderthemistletoe. Y’know. Something like that.”

I blinked, “What was that last one?”

He blushed and no longer met my eyes, “I want to kiss someone under the mistletoe. I’ve always seen it in movies, but I’ve never done it myself. Not like I really could without getting angry fans in return.”

“Why not kiss one of the members. I’m sure the fans will find that cute.”

“Well, mostly because I wanna kiss someone I like in a romantic way or even love. Also, kissing them would just be fan service.

I scoffed, “As if you don’t kiss each other all the time. You’re Jung Hoseok.”

He laughed, “Ah, I guess you’re right, but there’s actually someone I had in mind.”

“Who?”

Hobi took a deep breath and leaned next to my ear, “You...if it’s ok.”

He came away from my ear to look me in the eyes. The question was obvious, but I still couldn’t believe he was actually asking me this. I bit my sparkling magenta lip and nodded. If I could kiss Jung Hoseok, it’d be a dream come true. Even better if I was helping him reach one of his goals as well.

A smile came over his face, “Really?”

“Yes. I would love to my your mistletoe kiss.”

Hoseok squeezed my hands tightly and then searched the skies for the mistletoe drone that was flying the plant to random areas. As the song came to a close, he gently waltzed me to be under it with him. The only problem was that other couples were trying to do the same as well. Fans weren’t allowed to be in here, so it wouldn’t go too viral unless someone mentioned it on social media.

No one usually talked about the balls until months later anyways.

So, when the music finally ended, it was me and J-Hope underneath the mistletoe. No, not J-Hope, Hoseok. This was him and not his public persona. He was the man who wanted me of all people to be his mistletoe kiss.

“Ready?”

I nodded even though I wasn’t sure if I was ready. I wanted this for sure, though. There was no doubt about that in my mind. Both of us closed our eyes, and he smooched my lips. His were so soft. His Christmas pine needle cologne was even stronger than before and pricked my nose. I smiled. It was more than just a peck as he held my face in his hands. My heart was on fire.

He hugged me afterwards, “Thank you.”

“No, thank you.” I replied, a bit breathless.

The two of us danced closer than ever, a new song having come on. It was a bit more upbeat than the previous waltz, but us two just swayed together in our own little world. Even though it had been a hard and stressful couple of weeks full of unexpected events and words from every which way, this had been the best and most unplanned thing.

Hobi bought a dress and crown that made me feel like a princess and then he kissed me underneath the mistletoe. Even if I was in rags, that kiss. Those few seconds would’ve made me feel like a princess anyways.

And with that kiss I knew or at least hoped that he wanted more. He wanted me. What a Merry Christmas it had been, and it wasn’t even over yet.

#BTS #Bangtan #Jung Hoseok #J-Hope #JHope #Hoseok x Reader #Reader x Hoseok #JHope x Reader #Reader x JHope #J-Hope x Reader #Reader x J-Hope #Black!Reader #Youtuber!Reader #Black!Youtuber #Story: Trivia: Holiday Dance #Story: Trivia Holiday Dance

[asuitcaseofmemories]

Bad Luck Happens in... 65s if You’re Me.

I’m going to tell you a little a story. To be frank, it’ll probably definitely be long because it’s a nightmare and nightmares are never short. Only this isn’t just a nightmare, this is a true story; my true story of traveling from NY to Hefei after my home leave.

The date was June 26th... or 27th, because when you’re time traveling, details like that get hazy. My lovely friend dropped me off at the tiny Elmira airport and I had no issues checking in. I did internally begin losing my shit when the couple next to me was asked if they’d be willing to give up their seats due to them overbooking the flight by two. *Cue the anxiety* .... I mean we’ve all seen the dragging video by now. Save me.

We boarded in Elmira on time, I skipped the coffee and went for the complimentary red wine, because HELP, and because wine. The flight was uneventful, which was great. My friend and I spent our layover walking around the terminal, which I was thankful for because I was still losing it a little... and also because of the wine. If you can’t tell my travel anxiety is through the roof bad.

Our flight was boarded (from Detroit to Shanghai) with no issues, and the attendants graciously were loading me up on champagne. We left on time, and more champagne and food arrived. Did I say more champagne? I tried to sleep but the turbulence was pretty bad the last part of the flight... so I only slept 2.5 hours. (Side note: being hangry and a lack of sleep are two states you don’t want to see me in). Apparently attendance make it their duty to get you drunk if you can’t sleep, which is something I agree with on a spiritual level.

Upon landing we were told that the gate we were supposed to use was “not available” so we had to wait a bit. They decided to have us exit the plane on the tarmac and take the shuttle to the building. Which was great except the down pouring rain pelting us in between the two. I looked like a worthless drunk soggy noodle. I should’ve taken that as an omen, but I didn’t.

We arrived at customs and it was a strange scene as there was a huge line for foreigners and virtually no locals (opposite of what I’ve previously experienced). So it took a bit longer than usual, but we had no hiccups going through. The custom worker was actually the nicest custom worker I’d ever met and I think we could actually be friends now.

We then picked up our luggage to recheck it. Our bags were the last off the plane, despite having Sky Priority (meaning ours should come off first)-No biggie. When we went to recheck our bags, all hell broke loose.

I was told by a frantic worker after she weighed my first bag (I had two), that I’m only allowed to take 20kg on the plane.... mind you combined my bags were 48kg. I asked several questions about what people do in that situation, why I’ve never had this happen on previous flights, why there wasn’t a disclaimer sent when booking the flight, etc. The worker was not answering any of my questions, or offering alternate solutions. I think she just doesn’t like drunk soggy noodles.

I think the Holy Spirit inhabited my body at this moment, because my patience was  non-existent at this point. After about 15 mins of “what am I going to do” ... and thinking of alternate solutions like staying in Shanghai and booking a train the next day to get home... throwing out a bag- fuck that... she FINALLY says that I can pay a fee. BITCH YOU START WITH THAT. Why you wasting my time fucking asshole bitch nice lady???

This bitch lady gave me a piece of paper that I was intended to show at another counter to pay my fee. She had no idea how much it was at DID NOT tell me how to get to this next person. She also took my boarding pass and said they’d print a new one. She said “Next” when I asked for clarification, ugh no you didn’t. Thankfully my friend who was having the same issue, but was given better directions on how to get there by the kind lady waiting on her.

We were told we had to go to the 3rd floor, so we followed domestic departure signs for awhile... awhile... until we literally came to a dead end. WTF.... so we backtracked to our original spot, and we saw this other way,, so we followed that, and got to the 2F but still couldn’t get to 3F. I’m not kidding all the escalators were barricaded closed.

Clearly being two blonde idiots, looking lost as shit, this young man who spoke English asked if we are looking for the 3F too... hallelujah, we say yes.... he had just asked too, so we followed him to this elevator (which we would’ve never found because it was hid like the entrance of Narnia). UGH, this airport is stupid.

Oh but that’s not all. We get to the 3rd floor, go to the counter we were directed to go to and they say, oh no, you have to go over thereeeee. So we go there and we pay. Thankfully they took Visa (FYI- they don’t take US credit cards ANYWHERE in China so this is a miracle), and I paid my fine of $67USD. We asked about the reprinted tickets and she told us “oh no, you have to go in THAT line over there....” I’m thinking we should be going in the Sky Priority line as that’s what we always use, but she insisted it was the long line *Cue internal screaming*. So we waited and waited for our turn and they told us oh nooooo you go to the Sky Priority line, they have your tickets. Well I’d had about enough of this nonsense, so I nicely talked to the sympathetic woman who printed our boarding passes there. Thank you sweet angel!

Oh, but the story is just getting started. We went through security and they were double checking our carry ons... okay. Well they took child scissors from my friend’s bag then sent us on our way. We FINALLY head to gate 201. I look at the sign and see something in red. OMG. They changed our Gate to 9.... even though they JUST printed our passes... okay. We hustled over to Gate 9. It said we were in the right place YES. We went for a bathroom break, returned and they’d changed it to Gate 3... no big deal it was close but that’s annoying as hell.

We went to Gate 3 where we waited for an eternity. It got to the departure time and it didn’t say delayed and I was thinking... “did we miss the announcement?“ So I asked and the worker stated we would now depart at 11:30pm (original time was 10:15pm). A few moments later they declared the flight was delayed and that “the boarding time would be announced later.”

Well at this time I began to panic as we were supposed to have a driver pick us up at the airport at 11:30pm and I didn’t have anyway to call him and say we would be late. I don’t have a working phone number (in China or US), so I also do not have service to message Corey and let him know. So I had to buy internet for an hour just to Facetime him to figure out the ride situation. He assured me the driver would wait, and I was glad he knew we would be late.

So I went to get water and literally this airport is shut down almost completely. I saw this guy looking at a vending machine confused and two chicks giggling at him as he walked away. Stupid me tried two times to get a drink out of that thing, and it ate my money. God damn it. We finally found a place open so I got some water dinner (2 chocolate bars if I’m going to be completely honest here) and tried to chill out. We get back to terminal 3 and WHAT they changed our gate AGAIN to 202. At this point I’m externally about to scream, as this nice Chinese man asked if we were also going to Hefei. We said yes. He told us that he asked what was going on and the plane we were taking wouldn’t be there until about 11:30pm... so at this point we knew it would be awhile, but at least we knew something!

We thanked him for the info and ventured our asses back to Gate 202 area, and finally about 12:15am they announced we were boarding. The whole gate let out a cheer. I’m pretty sure I yelled “FUCK YEAH”, but 6 one way a half dozen the other right? We boarded and no sooner do they said that they had no idea when we would be leaving but they’d “update soon.” Well, the are lying liar heads. In an hour they repeated the same announcement. Since they are lying liar heads, and I was exhausted of their lies, I briefly passed out. I awoke at 2am when they finally said we were leaving. YAHOO!

I tried to finally get shut eye... mind you we’ve traveled over a day so far and I’ve only slept 2.5 hours (1.5 according to fit bit). Well the turbulence was so bad they the attendant woke me up and made me put my seat up... So that was a no go.

We finally arrived in Hefei, and and played the baggage game all over again. Our poor driver had been waiting since 11:30pm (it’s now 3:30am)... and helped us pack our bags into the car. He’s the real MVP in this story.

We safely arrived at the hotel at 4:17am.... Where we ended our travel fun with a broken trolley to haul our luggage upstairs. The concierge asked me where I was coming from and I said NY, and he asked “Is that why you’re wearing slippers.” ... they were flip flops haha.

It is tough feeling out of control and having such a language barrier with those who know what’s happening. Looking back, this is all hilarious and truthfully just a string of bad luck and weather. I was thankful to have someone with me to laugh with and keep me sane. We also met a few people along the way who were kind when we needed it most.

I’ll keep these memories to look back on when I think I’m having a “bad day.” I’m thankful I won’t be making that journey for another 6 months. Needless to say I slept 13 hours straight when I got home. I DID NOT MOVE my position at all or wake up once.

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