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#'if you do things they become done' <- literally face the stuff and feel the relief and growth.
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Ateez as Boyfriends [Explicit Ver.]
yet another collab with loren @eightmakesonebraincell. idk what this is but it's smut and it's a filthfest in here sooo MDNI!!
lmao when we think about it now we don't even know how we came to write this (speed write it more like) but this has collected dust in the drafts for a good while anddd it's our first time writing smut like this (minus my woo fic) so here we are :') Enjoy!
Hongjoong
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eye fucks you
literally when he is in the mood he will let his eyes scan you ever so slowly
tease.
i just think that most of the times you’ll be in the studio
and studio sex calls for you in his lap to get his attention
while his attention remains undivided on his pc
until you grind-
one wrong move and you’re done for
if he doesn’t want you to break his focus at that moment, he’s probably gonna growl and bite your shoulder with the promise of what’s about to come
and threaten you with things he would do to you once he is free
however, if you've succeeded?
immediately on to you
lips everywhere and anywhere on your body
tongue in your mouth
i feel like even if he tries to go slow, he’s the type to lose control in the middle of it
and go super intense and heated
loves it when his hands are on your hips and controlling your movement
the type to wedge his thigh between your legs as you make out 
and watch you become a mess as you grind on it
or when you’re sitting on him, he’ll hook your legs over his to stop you from closing them
he’ll finger you until you’re squirming in his lap
punish you for distracting him and being a bad girl
neck kisses he’s gonna leave pretty marks all over you
will praise the f outta you (not me censoring this.) 
will probably move around a lot during sex
like one moment you’re in his lap
next you’re on the couch, he’s on top of you
until you switch
and then he has you standing up and suddenly you’re pinned against the wall
will not miss a chance to go down on you
knows exactly how to make you cry
and i mean cry.
laughs against your throbbing core and the vibrations oh goodness
absolutely loves the feeling of your fingers gripping his hair in desperation
nips you everywhere
and when you’re finally begging him to give you what you want, that’s when he’ll let you have some moment of control
probably curses in pleasure
loves watching you on top of him but makes sure you know who’s in control (him)
he’s gonna spice things up when you’re reaching climax
i think i said he knows how to make you cry so go ahead and imagine
will overstimulate you before he wraps things up hehe
i just feel like his fingers on your clit right before you come and it’s 10x more intense
would love to come inside you when he can ;)
hongjoong would also probably record the audio of your moans during sex and when you climax (with consent ofc)
and on nights when he’s missing you he’ll play it through his headphones and touch himself wishing you were here
takes such good care of you when you’re done like you joke that he’s suddenly worried if you’re okay when he fucked you like there’s no tomorrow-
but really he’s all prepared he’s immediately making sure you have what you need- water, cuddles, round 2, you name it
will kiss your forehead as he assures you you’re his muse, the love of his life and all that sweet stuff :’)
you whine that you feel all sticky and gross
he definitely has an abundance of tissues and wet wipes in his studio
when people ask him why he has so many he tells them it’s for yknow cleaning
if you guys are back home in the shower though?
omg he is so soft and all about the romance
makes you feel so so loved
holds you in his arms for the longest time
or you’re in the middle of doing something and he grabs your wrist
and pulls you towards him with the biggest smile on his face
hands on your hips as he sways you around
and you just know that look in his eyes means he’s in the mood and he’s going to make this a memorable night for both of you
you’ll hook your arms around his neck and sway to the music that is in your heads
guided by his movements
he tells you what he’s feeling. no filters
and you appreciate that so much about him
would definitely have a post-sex playlist that he’s made with like slow candle-lit dinner vibes
plays it with a speaker in the bathroom as he presses long and lazy kisses against you
basically a very love-driven makeout session :((
hehe but he most definitely nibbles all over the marks he’s left on you with a sense of achievement
loves when you wear one of his shirts over just your panties as you go to bed together
it’s the possessiveness in him i’m telling you
he’s quick to fall asleep but you can see a faint smile on his lips as you caress his head or his face
and you tell him all the reasons you love him
you can swear his hold on you tightens even though he is fast asleep
and you’re going to wake up with him looking at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he has ever laid eyes on :(( 
even tho you look like an absolute mess in the morning-
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Seonghwa
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tongue.
man has a mouth on him like have you seen his lips?
the prettiest lips in ateez 
and his tongue????
he is the best kisser in ateez fight me
he knows how deadly his tongue is
and he’s going to use that to his advantage
makeout sessions are gonna be next level with him
and when his tongue goes elsewhere-
like when he kisses your neck?
or anywhere for that matter??
you literally cannot breath
it’s like it’s turning him on too
makes the dirtiest noises you bet 
he loves the feeling of your thighs clenching around him because it means that you’re close
he praises you and tells you that you have the prettiest moans
loves that you’re making those sounds just for him
he’ll enjoy overstimulating you
he coos and tells you to give him one more orgasm baby as he digs his fingers knuckle-deep into you
he knows your body so well
he can tell exactly when you’re about to come
like, he’ll say “come for me” because he knows that’s what tips you over the edge
and then when he’s satisfied with how many times you’ve come for him
that’s when he gets started
when you guys are fucking there are two different moods
sometimes he likes to take it slow and worship your body
pepper kisses all over your face and anywhere he can reach
presses his body against yours like he has to be touching every part of your exposed skin
drags his length in and out of you slowly so he can feel every inch of you
will latch his lips onto yours and explore your mouth with his tongue
likes to hold your hand :’((( i love him so much
other times it’s hot and fast and needy
his hands roam all over your body and through your hair
rolls your nipples between his fingers to make your back arch 
moans into the kisses
bites your lower lip
either lets you run your hands wherever you want or pins them to whatever surface you’re on
you fist the sheets beneath you or grip his shoulders
he grunts and pants in between praises of how tight you are and how good you feel
before he’s coming hard into you
i’m convinced that when hwa comes his eyes roll back and he lets out the deepest moan
it’s so filthy his expression alone can make you reach your climax honestly
his warmth fills you up (pls use a condom irl)
and when he pulls out, the sight of his cum leaking out of you has him half-hardening again
he loves to see how he’s ruined you
and you best bet he’ll help clean you up-
with his mouth
he’ll hold your legs apart as you writhe from sensitivity
as soon as you both come down from your orgasms, it’s like all the dom has left his body
he literally becomes the softest when he’s doing aftercare like his touch is suddenly delicate and he’s holding you like you’re fragile
“sir, i’m pretty sure you’ve left bruises on my body but okay”
“ah, did i? shall i kiss them so they get better?”
and you grin bc you’re lovestruck
and he feels so proud that he made you smile bc that means you’re okay
literally every second sentence that comes out of his mouth will be praise
that you did so well for him
that you’re so beautiful
that you’re all that he could ever ask for
<33333
peppers soft kisses on your face and kisses your knuckles
brings you sth warm to drink and cuddles you all night
i feel like he’s the type to love feeling skin on skin when cuddling
especially after having sex
he just has his boxers on and you just have your panties on
and he loves to hold you close to him and just feel you next to him in such an intimate way :’(((
he can’t keep his hands off you but it’s completely innocent
traces little patterns and shapes on your back
splays his hand over your tummy
rests a hand over your chest bc he likes to feel your heartbeat
and he does it unconsciously too, even during pillow talk
you two can talk for hours about anything and everything deep into the night
it doesn’t even matter what the pillow talk is about all you two want is to hear each other’s voices
imagine hwa’s post-sex husky deep voice akjfldsg
but you two talk and cuddle for so long neither of you even realise when you’ve fallen asleep
in the morning he wakes up before you but he stays cuddling you until you wake up so that he’s the first thing you see <33
there’ll be lots of lazy kisses before he gets up to make you a cute breakfast
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Yunho
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eye fucks you pt 2
literally the way he just watches you at times
like he’s drinking in the sight of you
before he kisses you he’s going to cup your face and look at you for the longest time
and you can see a thousand undecipherable emotions in his eyes
hesitates a bit before he kisses you but once you’re into it he’s a changed man
idk about you but i feel like his tongue can do wonders
i just think he’s a natural at this he kisses you like he’s been doing it forever and will never get tired of it 
makeout turns heated pretty quick and one thing leads to another-
will be vocal during sex too like
he needs to hear you say some stuff before you proceed
he needs to hear your voice to confirm you’re feeling good
he’s pretty much driven on that
he aims to please you. 
his hands. need i say more?
he drives you crazy with his hands alone
even when they’re cupping your face or like holding you behind your neck
you love his hands in your hair
you love it when you feel his big hands anywhere on your body for that matter
especially when they’re gripping your thighs
and his long fingers omg
just a brush of them in the inside of your thigh or near your core and you’re done for
makes you a writhing mess before he will even touch you
will also pin you on nearest surfaces 
and lets his mouth and thighs do the rest
probably loves when you ride his thigh too as he makes out with you
to the point you almost come on that alone
he just loves when you want to be in control but he restrains you
and you gladly let him
will at times let you dom him
but he just thinks that you’re cute for trying
really, he’s watching all smug, watching you on top of him, waiting until he’s had enough
and then he’s flipped you
he’s pinned you to the bed and he dwarfs you grrr 
“now it’s my turn”
if you think cuddling while lovemaking is a soft trait? make it hard for yunho
like he’s just burying his nose in the crook of your neck while he pumps into you
spoons you from behind as he rubs his length against your ass
or kissing your temple or head and moaning against you
and oh goodness his weight on you when he’s on top of you i-
will mumble praise into your ear
“you’re so fucking wet baby” hdsjhjkdfhg
“you feel so good”
and you’ll def praise him in return he loves that
not afraid to experiment with you
and he’s always just so supportive of your wants and needs
he’s also fully capable of driving you insane like he can be a little shit sometimes-
his hand around your throat.
his hand being able to wrap around both of your wrists
loves to pin your wrists above your head
when he’s approaching his orgasm he’ll see what you need
probably loves it when you come together
and he’ll pump all that inside you he won’t stop
will remain inside for a good few moments until he pulls out
and then it's just another round of teasing each other as he takes care of you
“can we shower together now?” but you know it will lead to shower sex
“will you let me spoon you after i clean you up?”
“only if i don’t find your dick hardening against my ass in the middle of the night, yunho”
the teasing is just ramped up honestly
you two flick soap suds at each other
he smacks your ass and it startles you and you slip a little in the shower
he makes sure to catch you but you smack his chest as revenge even though you two are giggling
when you step out of the shower he’ll throw your towel over your head so it covers your face
the man runs out of the bathroom before you can throw the towel back at him
he’s just streaking through the house naked at this point
it takes a while for you two to calm down enough to actually get into bed
but there’s definitely another hour or two of very handsy teasing
mostly from him as you giggle at his antics
and lots of hypothetical discussions about things you guys could try out next time
but also not hypothetically because he would totally be down lol
he’ll be like “okay but what if we restrained your wrists to the shower curtain bar, do you think it’d break?”
and you say you can try next time but if it does break he’s paying not you
you’re just both a laughing mess in each other’s arms as you fall asleep
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Yeosang
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vanilla guy
he can move his tongue 180 degrees do you all know what use he can make of that?
he’s either super shy super shy~ or he’s gonna be the demon that we all know he is
his kisses range from shy to heated and rushed
like when he’s shy he’s all smiles and cautious touches 
but you can literally taste it when he’s desperate
because his body language changes significantly
suddenly he’s the most confident
kinda feel like lingerie really turns him on
like whenever you wear something lacy or revealing
his length is already hardening before he knows it
sometimes he tries to hide it
other times he comes right up to you and growls into your ear that he needs you right now
his favourite place to do it might be in the bed
he just wants to make sure you’re comfortable first and foremost
and i feel like he’s a switch
he has his dom days he has his sub days too
sometimes he just needs you to lead and he loves watching you when you take the lead
he lets you do whatever you want to him
like he’ll watch as you unbutton your shirt and slip off your bra
and when you lean down to take off his pants
he’ll let you kiss him and touch him however you like
but when you start teasing him?
i feel like he has a switch that goes off and bam he’s now in dom mode
and he’s suddenly flipped positions and he’s like “i’ve had enough sweetheart”
and he’s banging into you with no remorse
and you swear his beautiful deep voice does something to you makes you feral is what it does
tucks your hair out of the way as he pumps his length into you
holds your face :( he’s so precious grrrrr
swipes his thumb across your lower lip
daring you to try something like-
he’s a tease he knows what game you’re playing
and if you try to capture his thumb between your teeth he’s gonna be like ‘nuh-uh not so quick’
like he can be the sub and still be in charge how beautiful is that
bonus points if you make him laugh or make him shy during sex
you love to see it when you praise him and he gets all flustered
but boi does he know how to make you lose your shit too
esp when he’s in control and just running his hands all over your body
tracing all your curves as he drinks in the sight and praises you so. much.
as if he isn’t a walking sculpture himself :’)
loves watching your little reaction and catches on real quick
like if you writhe under him when he kisses your sweet spot? he’s gonna be all smug and you bet the night has gotten longer
because he will spend his sweet time there
and when he’s fingering you or eating you out he will do everything to get the best reactions out of you
aftercare is 90 percent him fussing over you 
even though you reassure him that you’re okay from under the mountain of blankets he’s piled over you
he literally treats you like a queen
also because he wants to give you everything that you might even potentially need
so he like
brings you a whole platter of warm tea, water, energy drinks, salty snacks, packets of lollies, chocolates, you name it
will also ask if you need painkillers or anything
you better give that man his aftercare too he deserves it
you slip him bits of chocolate or snacks 
sometimes after he’s had one of those days where he’s radiated dom energy or he’s teased you a lot
you bring it up with him and wiggle your eyebrows
like “so i’m your good girl, huh”
and he gets so flustered and shy and does his little giggle
but you never tease him too much, because you know that he can start to doubt himself or feel insecure
so you always make sure to tell him how good and perfect he is no matter what he does
he deserves all the love in the world <3
so after you let him fuss over you for a while you sort of just, fling up the side of your blanket and say
“get in here”
and he has such a cute bright smile as he burrows underneath the covers with you
sometimes he spoons you
but more often than not
you spoon him
and he feels so safe and loved whenever you hug him like that :’(
you love to run your fingers through his long locks because his hair feels super soft
but also because you can almost hear the purr that comes out of yeosang when you do it
he’s a precious baby :(
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San
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a switch nobody can convince us otherwise
he can be a hard dom
manhandles you, like have you seen the way he is with woo??
holds your jaw to make you look at him
or he gets up close and crowds your personal space
passes you the dirtiest looks
will stare at you for the longest time just to see what your reaction will be
loves it when you get flustered and shy 
doesn’t care if you’re in public his touches will look casual to others
but you’ve memorised what his hand placement means
like when his hand on your waist slowly lowers to your hip, you know it’s gonna be a long night
teases you during sex, like he’ll lightly drag his fingers around your upper thighs and on your lower stomach but never touching your core
and he’ll ask you what do you want
he wants you to be vocal and beg for him to touch you
and when you do he’ll rip away your clothes and go down on you like he’s starved
he unbuttons your clothes and unclasps your bra with one hand and that alone makes you so wet
fondles your breasts with one hand while he circles your clit with the other
he latches his mouth onto your neck and collarbones and sucks on your nipples
has your back arching from all the different sensations all at once
but he’s also the subbiest sub to exist
like can you imagine him whimpering underneath you
this time he’s the one begging
he begs to touch you
and he begs for you to touch him, kiss him, anything
he doesn’t care if there are people in the next room or if they can hear him
he just needs to be inside of you
man always does it like it’s his first time taking you 
like you’re blown by how much he can enjoy this every time it just gives you that confidence boost too
and he’s big on praise as well
loves being loud during sex 
makes the unholiest noises-
makes the most intense eye contact and if you dare shy away from him?
“look at me when i’m looking at you”
jksdhgjghjghksgh
^that’s your reaction btw 
his kisses become more messy as things escalate and he just
he wishes he could kiss you everywhere all at once
switches positions so many times but mostly because he needs to feel closer to you in every aspect
might have a thing for putting your legs over his shoulders as he pumps into you
will make you scream without a doubt
like his aim is to make you see stars and boi do you get lost
so you also love to return the favour
and he’s not all that hard to please all you have to do is push the right buttons and say the right things
but you prolong the process on purpose
because you too enjoy seeing him break under you
it’s just that he makes you feel so good about yourself 
he makes you feel like you’re everything he’s ever wanted and then some
will make you come on his fingers
and then lick them clean-
will make you come on his dick next
and break right after he can’t handle you becoming a mess on him
collapses next to you and laughs in disbelief because how good was that?
takes a few moments to gather himself, all the while caressing your skin 
and kissing you- the softest kisses
before he gets up and takes care of you
and he’s so so good at that
he’s cleaning you up, making sure you’re hydrated, helping you into bed and then the cuddlefest starts
lies against the pillows and then shifts you so that you’re basically half-lying on top of him
he loves when you rest your head on his chest, an arm and a leg slung over the top of him too
(half the reason he works out his shoulders and chest is so that you have more pillow surface area hehe)
in these moments he wishes he has three hands
one to hold you against him
one to caress and run through your hair
and one more to hold your hand with :(
he just has to settle for alternating between the three
and all the while he is just constantly. pressing. kisses. against the crown of your head
“i love you”
“i love you too, san”
and not even twenty seconds later
“i love you so much”
“i love you so much too, san”
repeatedly confesses his love to you because it’s true he loves you so much it’s crazy
and when he can hear the sleep starting to cling to your voice, he’ll wish you goodnight
with many more kisses to go along with it <33
he doesn’t let go of you once during the night
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Mingi
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have you seen his hip rolls-
okay from the start
9/10 times it starts with you cuddling
it’s all good and nice and fluffy and you’re watching something or just scrolling 
he just likes to be in physical contact with you in any way
one of you is mindlessly touching the other- very casual at first
casual kiss on your bare shoulder or you kissing his jaw or knuckles
until one of you is in the mood and starts touching the other with purpose
and wait until the other starts squirming visibly
if you’re in his lap? you’re gonna feel it before he can even tell you
and you turn around all smug
but he doesn’t give you time to react because he will kiss you
he’s also prob really big on makeouts
he just loves the feel of his lips on yours as if they’re made for each other
or his tongue inside your mouth and the way you move under him while he kisses you
will have a good proper makeout session before you proceed
his hands will literally travel everywhere
plays with your breasts as he kisses you
also he will kiss every inch of you
and when he goes down on you?
he knows his nose brushing against your clit is your undoing
and he takes advantage of it
the tip of his nose glistening undoes something in you-
will basically make out with your clit
and make you come multiple times on his fingers and tongue before he gives you what you want
those hands squeezing your hips along with that really don’t help-
eats you out like a man starved
but before that
he’s also the type to get his own fair share of oral
and you would love to please him as well
you want that
you love it when he rolls his hips, clutching your hair, whether his cock is in your mouth or inside you
and when you’re having sex even tho he gives dom energy, he likes you on top
he’s just gonna be holding your hips and making you bounce on him
he’s gonna slow it down, make it bouncy ;) 
your hands on his chest
he’s gonna watch you with those eyes
and groan a lot it fuels you
it drives him crazy when you snake a hand down to your front to circle your own clit
and when you climax and collapse against his chest, he’ll hold you steady against his chest and grip your ass
will plant his feet against the bed so that he can pump up into you
i feel like he can be pretty filthy in the best way
like he likes it messy
he wants to make you a mess in every sense
he will spill inside you all over you and be proud of it and look at the mess like it’s a work of art
and the air smells of sweat, sex and love <3
will probably prompt another round-
if he lets you have your way first, he’s def going to have his way in the second round
and that could entail a lot of things
but at some point, it’s definitely gonna be him pinning your wrists down on the bed with one hand
while his own thighs holds your open
and he makes you see stars with his fingers alone
and at some point
it’s going to be him pounding relentlessly into you, a hand on your back pinning you down to the bed
and the second round is always so much more intense
you think you’re spent? he knows exactly how to get you riled up again
but he knows when you’re tired and done even when you say you want more
so he just turns very soft all of a sudden and kisses you like a boy having his first kiss
because he’s so in love with you :(( 
and then he’s gonna tell you what you mean to him
he’s gonna make you look at him as he tells you how beautiful you are and how you mean the whole world to him
sometimes he sees doubt in your eyes but he won’t go away until he clears it
and then you’re both giggling and he’s looking around wondering what to do
“the towels first, please,” you giggle again and he hops off the bed, laughing to himself
probably drags you in the shower with him too and teases you a lot there
so much that sometimes you have another round there-
always so fun with him innit
but he makes sure you’re fed, hydrated, clean and content before he joins you in bed and the cuddlefest starts
human pillow i said what i said
and he’ll caress your hair or skin as he tells you about something that happened at work or you rant about something that annoyed you today
and he jokes and teases you and you slap his chest and he’s suddenly a laughing mess and you’re joining 
and then at some point, you both fall asleep in each other’s arms <3
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Wooyoung
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omega vibes.
a bratty sub
and wooyoung literally ousts himself as having a degrading kink
not his heart fluttering when hongjoong bossed him around
he likes to tease you and frustrate you all day
a quick smirk here
a sneaky touch there 
feel like wooyoung would also make you wear vibrating panties or put a remote-controlled vibrator in you
will turn the vibration up at the worst times
like when you’re talking to someone or when it’s super quiet
he’ll give you the cheekiest grin from across the room
especially when a noise accidentally slips out of you
he loves watching you awkwardly fumble and pretend you didn’t just moan
sometimes in the bedroom when he’s pressing the vibrator against your clit, he’ll pull away at the last second just before you reach your orgasm
and he’ll be like oops sorry :))
until the sexual tension makes you snap
he lets you flip him over or pin him against the wall as you kiss his lips swollen and mark his neck until it’s bruised
and you can feel how smug he is
he loves when you show him his place
and when you mark him with hickeys
you’ll push him onto the bed
and sometimes you tie his wrists together
he’s such a brat you can’t help but try and tame him even when you know it’s hopeless
so you just give up midway and he’s all smug and laughing and you’re like okay have your way then
it’s just very fun with him never a boring moment
and feels like a game of who has more control (you’ve got equal points)(you’re both in negative)
you bet he keeps a record of that
also he gets turned on at the strangest of times
you’re cleaning and he saw you bend down to get that dust? he’s turned on
you almost tripped and made the cutest face afterwards and he teases you but you glare at him? he’s turned on
but the same goes for you
all he has to do is roll his sleeves and display his delicious veiny arms while he cooks
and you’re a whining mess
he knows it
we all love wooyoung in the kitchen
speaking of the kitchen-
no one would eat the food he makes if they knew how many times he’s fucked you on the countertop lol
but he fucks you on every surface he can so-
he loves going down on you mostly because of the noises you make when he’s eating you out
and he knows exactly what move of his tongue or lips against your core earns what noise
he knows you have a thing for his nose digging into your clit too 
so he’s gonna make the most of it ;) 
will let your thighs squeeze him as he makes out with your clit
but when he pushes them apart? the veins on his arms pop and you can’t help but run your fingers all over them 
his arms are just such a work of art
and then he’s trailing kisses up your body and kissing you as if he’s short on breath
also has a thing for fisting your hair when you go down on him 
and oh goodness does he make the most pretty sounds you’ve ever heard
basically the two of you live to rile the other up no matter what way it is <3
when he’s finally inside you, he’s either taking full control or just letting you do whatever you want there’s no in-between
mostly it’s the latter because he loves to see you ride him
but just because you’re on top of him doesn’t mean you’ve got full control. he makes sure you know that
because he is going to pound into you from under you and make you see stars <3
aftercare is something ingrained in him
it’s like he gets all his energy back just to take care of you :(( 
he’s fussing over you, not letting you move before he cleans you up and makes you drink or eat something
he has to give the green light for you and at this point, you let him
because who wouldn’t enjoy a fussy woo??
and then he’s like “let’s shower together ;) “ and you’re like
“ah. is that what all of this was for?”
not complaining though
but the best part about showering together isn’t another round- that’s rare
you simply love it when you’re washing each other up
he loves when you shampoo his hair and massage his scalp
and he rubs the knots out of your neck or arms or thighs
wherever you might be feeling sore from your escapades lol
there’s still a couple of teasing remarks and wandering hands here and there
but he makes sure you’re all warm and dry before he tucks you into bed or wraps you in a huge fluffy blanket on the couch
he’ll insist that you do nothing while he cooks up a small meal for you two because if you two hadn’t become distracted during the process of making dinner, then you two are hungry from the energy you’ve expended LOL
and when he’s made sure you’re absolutely full he’ll cuddle you until you both succumb to food coma
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Jongho
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we all know he’s not physically affectionate
but boi does it look like he’s been doing this all his life
big on foreplay
gets you all hot and bothered first with the way his fingers run over your arms or your thighs
gentle squeezes in between or like something muttered in your ear
until you can’t take it anymore and you make the first move
slow kisses are his things like he loves the intimacy when you’re just making out like you have all the time in the world
and he’s shy at first def, will laugh and joke between kisses just so he can get super comfortable
before he turns into a monster
peppers kisses all over your face :( 
has a knack for making you feel like you’re the most precious thing in this world
to him you are <3
has a thing for necks
will kiss your neck and your sweet spot until it turns red
probably nibble on it too he’d love to see you marked by him
will trail kisses all the way down
will play with your breasts for the longest time as well
just teasing you and making a mess out of you
before he lets his fingers touch you down there and find you already soaked
and god does it give him an ego boost
anddd that’s where things get interesting
watches your every move when he touches you down there 
and has a shit-eating grin on his face throughout 
(which you love you’re not even gonna complain)
he’s gonna make you come multiple times on his fingers that’s a given
he loves to watch you move under him and will probably have a hand on your stomach to brace you and refrain your movements
which drives you so fucking crazy
you’re going to beg for him before he ever lets his cock near you
and when he’s ready for that, he’ll make it so agonisingly slow
will 100 percent grip your thighs as he spreads them apart and just let you feel him against you
before he enters you
he takes a moment to relish in the feeling of your tight walls against him- he can never get enough of that
will pump slowly into you first before it becomes rushed and then-
uses his strength to manhandle you into the position that he wants
he’ll hook his arms under your knees and pound you against the wall pls i need holy water stat
in your bedroom, in your living room, in the shower
omg when he gets all sweaty
and his muscles are glistening as they ripple with his movements lol
dom.
growls in your ears
smacks your ass 100 percent. 
it drives him crazy to feel you trembling against him
or the way your nails dig into his shoulders and drag down his back as he fucks you
he thrives on the sounds you make to the point you’d almost think he’s getting off on that alone
if you come before him, he won’t stop pounding into you until he does
and boi does he still have some stamina left
but you have all the time in the world so he’ll take it slow again
build it up
make you want him again before he touches you
and it just keeps getting more heated, more interesting as the night gets darker
will make sure you’re not overwhelmed though, he really doesn’t want you to feel weird at any point of it all
he wants what you want, to the point you sometimes have to beg him to tell him what he wants
because he’s always focused on pleasuring you and you want to return the favour too
so on the rare occasions that he does let you take the reins, you make it a night he won’t forget ;)
by the time you’re done you’re so tired but this man still has some stamina
so he takes you to the shower with him and washes you up :( <3
dries your hair for you too :( 
you’re so sleepy by now but he’ll carry you to bed :(
and then you cuddle and make jokes until you fall asleep feeling the most content ever
and even though jongho is starting to feel tired too, he fights to stay awake just so that he can cherish the feeling of you in his arms for just a little longer
presses soft little kisses on your forehead and down the tip of your nose and over your cheeks and along your jaw
he’s so soft please
when he really can’t hold off sleep any longer he’ll tuck you closer under his chin before he drifts off too with a smile on his face
has the audacity to giggle at you with his gummy smile when he sees you hobbling the next day because you’re kinda sore
but he’ll be at your beck and call for anything you need the rest of the day <3
6K notes · View notes
wcters · 1 month
Text
𝗠𝗔𝗧𝗧 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗔 𝗚𝗜𝗥𝗟𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗦𝗧𝗨𝗗𝗬𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗖𝗢𝗦𝗠𝗘𝗧𝗢𝗟𝗢𝗚𝗬
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pairing: matt sturniolo x fem!reader
summary: the relationship between matt and a girlfriend in cosmetology school
warnings/notes: established relationship, swearing, nudity innuendos?? they are naked together, kinda went off the cosmetology thing but it’s cute so whtv, a bit short but this is my first time doing preferences
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- first . . . he’s totally spoiled
- like really spoiled
- you would practice at home, and then whatever you could on matt
- manicure: hand massages, cuticle cutting, nail painting, hair washing: head massages, shampoo and conditioning his hair
- he would let you practice shaving his beard but it would take awhile for him to let you
- not because he doesn’t trust you, but because he was going through a beard phase
- matt would loveeee the head massages and would get you to do them all the time
- eventually it becomes second nature and so you’ll be cuddling on the couch or outside sitting down with him between your legs and your hand will just find it’s way into his hair
- and you have fake nails so you know it feels reallyyy good
- waxing . . . but he would not admit that he lets you do it
- you ALWAYS smell good
- your shampoo and conditioner, perfume, skin/body care
- nick always asks you what you use for your skin
- sleepovers with nick where you do skincare, face masks, nail painting
- and chris begs to join until nick says yes
- matt always finds you three on nick’s bed watching a movie
- you had been obsessed with makeup your whole life
- def the designated hair braider on your sports team
- BATHS TOGETHER
- bubble bath, candles, you talking about your day and drama and he’ll be listening
- he’s just happy to be there
- studying at his house while you’re watching a movie together or if he’s busy with the podcast
- chris coming up to you and randomly asking you a question about what you’re doing when you’re studying
- “why do you push your cuticles back?” “how do perms work? like how do you do them?”
- it makes you smile because he’s genuinely interested
- will show him some things if you can
- you’re super sweet
- everyone likes you
- you’re a girls girl
- someone needs a pad/tampon? you got it. someone doesn’t want to go somewhere alone? they aren’t because you’re coming with
- you don’t gatekeep skincare or makeup
- always have lip balm on you
- you and matt go to the gym together
- always have a matching top and pants for your workout outfit
- matt just can’t believe you’re his 🤍
- like he looks at you like you hung the moon and stars
- i want to wear his initial on a chain ‘round my neck vibes
- you literally have a necklace with his initial, you walked it with it on and his eyes popped out of his head
- totally share jewelry
- you steal his sweaters, shirts, shorts, boxers, basically anything you can get your hands on
- give matt face massages
- he be lookin’ flawless
- pays for you even though you decline because he knows how much money you use for school stuff
- that shit is expensiveeee
- nick asked you first to help him dye his hair red
- ofc you said yes! he’s your bestie
- played ariana, doja cat, clairo, stuff like that
- #danceparty
- your stuff sort of pops up around the house
- chris will find like a bobbypin or a hair tie on the floor
- smells like you because you bought candles for them that you loved
- thrifting and going to flea markets and getting stuff for your apartment like vases, cups to hold jewelry, etc
- your hair is amazing. everyone’s jealous. i’m jealous.
- no split ends, doesn’t get greasy until at least 5-6 days after you wash it, perfect for styling. also sleep with a bonnet because that does wonders for you
- lashes are amazing as well. it’s because you get them done while at school 😉😉😉
- you drive nick and chris around if matt’s not there or busy
- they literally love you
- think you’re perfect for your brother
- so nice, so sweet, literal angel
- you’ve been on the podcast
- made a tiktok account after matt suggested you do
- blew up. and it’s partly because you don’t gatekeep
- you’re so relatable too, being completely honest about how you feel . . . and are so funny
- “hot take . . . men should shave their armpits. like how do you put deodorant on?” “you ever too lazy to wash your face so all it is is a makeup wipe and a rinse with water? me too.”
- will trim matt’s hair if be wants just a trim
- you first said no, didn’t want to mess up, but he believed in you 🤭🤭
- your biggest supporter
- they would totally be there when you graduate
- cheering loudly when you walk along the stage
- like the pricilla movie scene but with no creepy old men
- you love that movie, hate elvis, but love pricillia
- you sometimes cook for them so they don’t eat out all the time
- you’re a good cook 👩‍🍳
- force them to have some form of vegetables
- his parents love you
- go fishing with jimmy and the boys the one time they do (sorry jimmy but it’s true)
- fans will ask for pictures when you visit matt on tour
- who’s the triplets? they’re here for you
- matt is so proud of you
- if you ever need him to pick you up he’ll bring you food or starbucks so you have energy when you’re done
- is at your beck and call
- ask him to jump off a cliff? he’ll hesitate a bit but will ultimately do it
576 notes · View notes
girlboypersonthingy · 1 month
Note
Would it be ok to request Vox with an affectionate s/o?
More than okay, nonnie! I’ve been getting so many requests bro, literally every time I post one, I get like 2 more in its place. IM LIVING FOR IT, KEEP IT COMING YALL! But also plz be patient with me 🥺 been waiting for a request for my flat-faced prince. Tbh the first time I watched Hazbin, my immediate reaction to Vox was ‘OH NO HES HOT!!!’ So, enjoy these headcanons 😘
Notes: gn!reader, maybe a little ooc Vox?
Vox x reader- Affection 💋
Also oh my fucking godddddd the vest, him in a vest. I need more Vox in a vest PRONTO…🥵
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Okay so like…bro is more dirty minded.
He’s genuinely confused when you kiss his cheek or hold his hand like ???
Oh….you’re not just trying to fuck him and get famous?
Cuteee~
Sure, he’s fucked and made out with ppl and probably done some other crazy shit but his experience with sappy romance and affection like you show him is very limited.
He’s pretty dense, he’s got a tough shell and doesn’t really understand love languages and stuff like that.
His love language is most definitely gift giving and I just know he’s terrible at actually showing his feeling through words or romantic gestures or physical affection.
It’s usually just like “Hey! I love ya! I got you this.” *insert item you’d flip your lid over*
At least he’s a good gift giver! He really does try to give you cool stuff he knows you’ll like but he’s still learning how to actually speak about his feelings and show it physically.
He tries to match your energy the best he can
Get him gifts!!! Plz he loves homemade gifts too- gift him art, sing him an original song, sew him something, whatever your skills or talents may be, use them and he’ll adore it and also praise tf out of you
You took time to make this just for him? ‘Marry me’
Besides fucking around with Val, Vox doesn’t get much affection so he very quickly falls in love with all the sweet affectionate touches you frequently show him.
It’s all so different than Val, so sensitive and genuine. It really makes him swoon~
Melts when you kiss the corners of his screen- there’s something about non mouth kisses that really gets to him
He gets a huge dorky love stuck grin when you sit in his lap and hug him close, also hugs you back super tight
Absolutely loves kissing you and then noticing the lingering smudges/lipstick marks on his screen later
Fix his bow tie while giving him a sneaky wink in front of his crew and he’ll huff and look away while trying to hold back a smile
Invites you on his nightly broadcast as a guest one time and quickly learned how embarrassed he becomes when you flirt and call him pet names on live TV in front of tons of viewers
After only 10 minutes of talking, giggling and giving him bedroom eyes, Vox was struggling to maintain his composure- you’re so fucking cute.
All you had to do was laugh loudly at one of his crude jokes about Alastor and call him your “honey bunny” and suddenly the entire V tower lost power.
Poor man literally short circuits over your darling voice calling him such soft names- he’s so down bad for you he can’t even hide it
Val and Velvette have that specific episode downloaded and saved to every device they own bc there’s no way they are letting this go, he’s never living this down
If you pause the video right before it cuts out, just before the power goes out, Vox has literal hearts for eyes and his entire screen briefly becomes this bright blushy pink color- that’s a color no one has ever seen on him
Just keep doing your thing, you little hopeless romantic, and you’ll see that color more often.
But Vox might have to leave you at home when filming bc he can’t control himself around you sometimes and you obviously can’t either 🖤
483 notes · View notes
yelenasdiary · 3 months
Note
I was wondering if you could do a Wanda X masc reader. Wanda is a cam girl and reader pays her to go out on a date due to having social anxiety. Please add some angst oh and a happy ending.
Just Be Yourself
Pairing: Camgirl! Wanda Maximoff x Masc! Reader
Summary: After a dare from your friends, you asked your favourite camgirl out for dinner, of course paying her for her time.
Angst, Fluff
Warnings: Mentions of Adult entertainment, Mentions of Social Anxiety, Wanda getting some unwanted attention, Mentions of physical violence | 2K
AC: I hope it’s okay that I tweaked this a little, thank you for sending it & I hope you enjoy! x
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"What's the worst that could happen? she says no?" your friend said, flicking through her magazine. "That's the not point" you replied, "she'll probably think I'm just some creep like the rest of her followers. Hey, you don't know me but if I paid you $300 would you go out on a date with me? I would sound desperate" you added. 
"You're overthinking it, she is literally asking people to give her money to perform stuff on camera" your friend pointed out, "besides, I dared you so you have to do it" she added. You sighed knowing she was right, whenever one of you dares each other to do something it becomes like an unspoken rule that you had to do the dare regardless. You grabbed your laptop and opened up the woman's website.
Your fingers hovered over the keyboard as you thought of how to ask her out to dinner tonight, but she did say she was open to these type of things. People give her money to just go to engagement parties as a plus one from what you've heard. How do you ask somebody you've only had little interaction with on a date? To dinner? You went to close the lid of your laptop until your friend stopped you, "give it me!" She shook her head, taking the laptop from you. 
"Hey,
I hope this isn't out of line or anything, but I would love to take you out to dinner tonight. I would pay you of course, just name a price. If you're interested and would like to have a fun night, I would be more than happy to pick you up around 7pm. If not, that's fine but I hope you'll think about it"
Your friend typed out the message and pressed send. "There, now it's done" she looked to you. 
"What did you say?!" You panicked. Your friend turned the laptop around to face you, "oh god" you sighed, "this is stupid!" You added. 
"I have been hearing you talk about how funny this woman is and also how you beautiful you think she is, despite her being a camgirl, I think you should really go for this" she explained. You were about to reply when your laptop made a ping like sound. 
"Hi there!
This is really sweet of you and I would love to have dinner with you tonight, are you in or around the Westview era? If so, there is a diner you could pick me up from if you'd like. I would feel more comfortable in a public setting, I hope you understand. 
As for pricing, I usually charge $800-$1,500 for events but for something like this, $500. Let me know what you think! I can't wait to hopefully meet you!
~Wanda xo"
The message stared back at you leaving you speechless. She actually replied, she said yes and even said she couldn't wait to meet you. Your social anxiety had suddenly made its appearance, your palms began to sweat and your mind was coming up with different ways to try and get out of going. As much as you wanted this, your anxiety had always been a block in the road. 
"Hey, don't even think about it" your best friend's voice brought your mind back to the present. "I'm not doing anything" you replied, walking over to your wardrobe. "You are, you're thinking of ways to not go, you're letting your anxiety win" they added as if they were inside your head.
"I'm not, I am just trying to think of something to wear" you replied, brushing off their comment.
----
As asked by Wanda, you waited inside the diner for her to arrive. You wore a pair of your favorite jeans, a plain colored tee topped with your favorite jacket and shoes. Your favorite rings on each hand and one of your favorite necklaces to finish the outfit. The clock on the wall read 7:10pm and your mind began to wonder if maybe she had stood you up. Your heart began to sink, the one time you try to put yourself out there and you get stood up, until. 
"Y/n?" A woman's voice softly caught your attention, making you turn around. You smiled softly; it was her. 
"Yeah, that's me" you replied trying to hide the nervousness in your voice. 
"Hi, I'm Wanda" she smiled sweetly, "it's lovely to meet you" she added as she reached in for a friendly hug. You were glad she didn't go to shake your hand, nothing seemed to stop them from sweating. You took a moment to yourself just to remind yourself that you've got this! Your friend's voice floated in your head, "just be yourself, she'll love you!" Reminded you that you didn't have to be nervous besides the fact this woman is a complete stranger that you met on the internet, but she was just as nervous as you were, you just didn't know it.
"It's lovely to meet you too, I made reservations at a Mexican restaurant only a few blocks away, is that okay?" You replied. 
"I love spicy food!" Wanda's eyes lit up. You smiled softly, thankful that she was excited for the place of choice. You held the door of the diner open for her as you both left, you held the door open of your car for her which surprisingly took her back a little. "I can't believe I was beginning to think that nobody liked to hold the doors open anymore" she commented with a chuckle. 
"I guess you could call me old school" you replied before closing the door. Your nerves slowly began to calm down, you'd made her smile and chuckle all before even getting to the restaurant and you took that as a small win. 
----
"I have to say, this is really refreshing. I mean, you're not like anybody else who pays me to pretend to be their partner or pays me for other things. You're sweet, so I have to ask…why did you want to take me out tonight?" Wanda asked, taking you completely by surprise while the two of you picked at the shared small bowl of nachos before your main meals arrived. 
"Oh, umm, I mean, thank you" your words stumbled, "I don't want to sound like a creep or anything but I didn't first come across you from your website. You actually came up on my Instagram and I thought you were beautiful so I followed you and then I saw your website and some of the things you do on there but I just thought you'd really nice to get to know but I totally understand if that freaks you out" you added, your palms under the table begin to sweat once more. 
Wanda smiled softly at your reply, "that's really cute actually! I am so used to people wanting 1 thing, which I guess I set myself up for that but it's really nice to not feel that tonight" she spoke. 
You couldn't help but smile in reply just as the waiter placed your main meals in front of the two of you. "So, tell me a little about yourself" Wanda looked up at you before picking up her fork. 
By the time you had ordered dessert for the two of you, plenty of laughs and jokes were being shared. The night was going wonderful, better than you could've ever imagined and your anxiety eventually became more tolerable. 
"Hey there, sorry to intrude on whatever this is but are you scarletwitch838?" a young man asked, not caring for the fact he was in fact intruding. Wanda looked up at him and sighed quietly to herself, "I'm sorry, you must have me mixed up with somebody else" she replied. 
"For real? Damn, you look just like her, look!" he replied, pulling out his phone and showing her a video she'd uploaded to her site. "H-how did you save that?! You're not supposed to keep the content!" Wanda snapped in a panicked. "I knew it! You are her! Yo, I'm a huge fan! The way you can move your body, man I've never jacked off so hard before"
"Okay, that's enough. You're being rude and I think you should go" you stood up, looking him in the eyes. 
"What the fuck are you going to do about it? You know she's a whore for the camera, right?" he laughed causing Wanda to excuse herself. You wanted to call out for her but you didn't want the man to know her real name. The man laughed once more, "I guess the bitch can't handle the truth, I hope you have a great time with her, sure as hell everybody else has" he added with a smug look.
Your body reacted faster than you could think, punching the guy in the face harder than you've ever hit anything before. He fell to the ground, "You crazy bitch! What the fuck!" he groaned. Customers around you all froze, the manger shook their head at you from afar and you knew you were going to be asked to leave. You pulled out your wallet and placed a $100 bill on the table before making your way to the bathroom to find Wanda. 
"Wanda, are you okay?" You asked from outside the bathroom. She opened the door and sighed, "I'm so, so sorry about that. I really try to avoid things li-"
"Hey, don't stress. He was out of line, you have every right to be mad. Plus, I think he got the message" you interrupted her. 
"Excuse me, I'm going to have to ask you both to leave" an unknown voice spoke from behind you, you turned to see the manager standing there with an unimpressed look. "Don't worry, we were just leaving and honestly, if anybody should be leaving it should be him. He harassed this woman, is that what you want your restaurant to stand for?" you replied. Wanda looked between you and the manager. 
"I'm really sorry, I wasn't aware that he was causing an issue. We will ask him to leave, and your night is on the house. Again, we are sorry" they replied, handing you back the $100 bill you placed on the table before. You gave them a light nod before looking back at Wanda, "I'll give you a ride home"
----
Wanda gave you directions to her neighborhood, you pulled over out the front of a nearby park out of respect for her but she insisted it would be okay for you to see where she lived. "Nobody has ever stood up for me like that" she said as you pulled up out the front of her house. 
"You don't deserve to be treated like that by anybody" you replied looking over at her. 
"I had a really great time tonight, I really hope this hasn't ruined it for you" 
"Ruined it? This was the best date I've ever been on. Even with that crap, I had a really fun time with you. You're funny, you're sweet and really, really beautiful. I'm not usually this straight forward like this but I just want you to know that I don't see you like how he did" you replied with a soft smile, "you're person just like everybody else and so what, you make some money online, we all need to make money to live. So who is he to judge how you make your money" you added. 
Wanda smiled before leaning over and placing a kiss on your cheek, "I'd love to see you again, if you're up for it" she said as your cheeks went red. "I'd love that" you replied with a flustered look. 
"Good, keep that money, I don't want you pay for my time. You deserve it out the money" she replied, "I'm going to put my number in your phone, text me when you get home, okay?" she added. You nodded before you punched in your passcode and handed her your phone. Your stomach filled with butterflies, your night started off with nerves and anxiety was now ending with flustered cheeks and butterflies. It was safe to say you were excited to plan the next date.
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retroellie · 4 months
Text
NSFW Alphabet w/ Spencer Reid
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Summary: NSFW alphabet w/ spenice poo
A/N: Ovbiosuly i have to introduce a new character with an NSFW alphabet... it's become my thing yall I know. Also, i wanted this one to be like spencer in the earlier seasons because I'm a whore for him then.
Warnings: NSFW, BDSM, pegging, loss of virginity, Sub!Spencer Reid
Word count: 3.8K
A= Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Dr Spencer Reid is a sweetheart and we all know this, so obviously he's going to be the sweetest boy after. The first couple of times y'all have sex, he's kind of awkward afterward... like he feels weird about the fact he was just inside of you and now he has to talk to you like nothing happened. Eventually, he warms up to it and gets better at taking care of you. Now he always makes sure he has a soft rag and some water in his nightstand so when you stay over he doesn't have to get up. To be completely honest though, he's the one who needs the aftercare...
B=body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)
He likes your boobs, like really likes your boobs. He likes them because they're just so versatile, you know? Like he can lay his head on them while you read to him, he can stick his dick in between them, he can suck on them... I mean, what more can this boy need?!?!? Mostly he likes how he can still see them when you guys are in public, maybe not in their entirety but he loves when you wear low-cut shirts. You do it on purpose sometimes, just to see him squirm in his seat while trying to go over statistics on a case. But overall, Spencer just really likes your body. It's just one of those things that Spencer doesn't have to think about or understand, it was just so easy to fall in love with it.
Spencer doesn't really like his body, I feel like he's a very insecure person. He thinks he's too scrawny, too thin, and extremely out of shape. You try to tell him that he's perfect but he can't get over his insecurities. If he did have to choose, it would be his mouth, if he's good for anything... it's for talking and giving mind-blowing head.
C=Cum (anything to do with cum)
Spencer has the worst pull-out game ever, I mean seriously. It's mostly because he just loves cumming with you. The way he'll be deep inside you, literally inside your guts... then he just releases it all into you and watches as your face controls into pure pleasure. He loses all control when you cums, his vision goes white and the only thing he can think of is how pretty you look on his cock.
You had to go on birth control because you couldn't deny Spencer Reid of his favorite thing to do, plus he went on this rant about how birth control is better than condoms because condoms can break blah blah blah. You knew it was simply because he wanted to cum inside you... and it felt way better without a condom.
D=dirty secret
Spencer Reid loves to research things alright... so obviously he has watched massive amounts of porn for research purposes. At first, he tried to tell himself it was for profiling purposes, he needed to know what every kink was so he was able to apply it when needed... well, then it turned into more of his own interest. He wanted to know what he liked, especially when he met you. I mean he's watched almost everything, BDSM, humiliation, sadism, choking, slapping, even pissing. A lot of those things he found he didn't enjoy, but he's honestly found some stuff that makes his face heat up at the thought of it. What's even weirder about this is that Spencer has never jacked off to any of it, to him... it is completely for research.
E=experience (How experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
You were his first and he hopes you are his last :). He hasn't even really kissed anyone before you. However, as said above, Spencer has done a lot of research so he definitely knows what he's doing. But porn is completely different than the real thing so he was confused that it didn't go how he expected it to go. What's really nice about Spencer is that he has an eidetic memory, so if something makes your toes curl once... he can do it over and over and over again the exact same way which honestly makes him seem so much more experienced than he actually is.
F=Favorite position
He loves it when you ride him. Not only does he get the perfect view of your boobs and your face, but he loves letting you take control. I feel like Spencer is a bottom so he enjoys the feeling of you towering over him, taking everything you need, and controlling if he gets to cum or not.
He also loves taking you from the back but not in the way you would think. He likes being able to lean against something and you do all the work, like you thrust yourself back on him. He likes that so when you get too tried or frustrated, he can help you fuck yourself on him. Also, I feel like Spencer would like to be experimental with positions, especially since he knows almost all of them from his extensive research. So he tries to switch it up and try new positions every once in a while.
G= Goofy (Are they serious at the moment or are they humorous?)
Everything spencer does is goofy as fuck, so sex is not a serious thing for yall. You can't do anything without spencer shooting out some statistics which makes you laugh, cause his dick could be down your throat and he'd talk about how "43% percent of women say they like giving oral more than receiving it." Sometimes you have to show his face between your own legs to get him to shut up. In short, spencer has to be serious all day at the BAU, so coming home and having to seriously fuck you is just not something he wants to do. He's gonna have some fun with it.
H= Hair (How groomed are they down there?)
Spencer is a bit of a germaphobe, he doesn't like to shake people's hands for god sake. He is definitely either clean-shaven or very well-groomed. He makes sure to clean his junk thoroughly, again with the whole bacteria and germ blah blah... You get it, he just feels more clean if he's groomed well down there.
As for you, I feel like he's gonna care if you're shaved down there or not. I mean he's obviously still going to eat your pussy even if you haven't shaved, but he does prefer you to be groomed down there. Again it's a germaphobe thing for him, but like I said... it's not the thing that determines if he'll fuck you or not.
I=Intimacy
This boy is touch starved as fuck. He usually doesn't like touch, he's scared of it if I'm being honest. So when you came along and touched him in every way possible... he craves it now. He wants to be close to you at all times when he's reading, on a case, or showering. He wants to be touching you in some way. Sex is intimate as well, especially since you were his first time. Losing his virginity was a huge thing for him, so the intimate part was important to him.
He loves the cringey romance things, I mean like buying you flowers or going on expensive dinners every anniversary or birthday. He only ever got his romance beliefs from old romance books and cheesy romance movies. He sure did know how to make you feel like a princess.
J= Jack off (Masturbation headcanons)
Spencer never really masturbated much before he met you, he never really felt that way either. Like being horny was something that he never felt, never got hard, or had a wet dream. Even while doing his research, he never popped a boner... not even once! That was until he met you, now a bus could go by and he is stiff. He can only jack off to the thought of you though, he only needs his mind and his hand to get him off when you aren't there.
I also think he likes to watch you masturbate, he's a little creep like that. Obviously, you'd know he was there, but he likes for you to pretend he's not there. He loves watching you tease yourself, moaning his name while he sits in a chair in the corner of the room. It gives him a small power rush, knowing he's getting you off without even touching you.
K= Kinks
Alright, he has quite a bit... he's a little dirty dog once you get him going. He definitely has a mommy kink definitely, I mean he has mommy issues so it is inevitable for the word mommy to slip out during sex. He says shit like "You make me feel so good mommy..." or "Can I cum mommy?" In his most pathetic voice as he whimpers so loud.
He's a kinky little fucker, to name a few...Prasing, bondage, role-playing, orgasm control, Voyeurism, humiliation. The list goes on and on. He was so embarrassed to bring them up to you starting off, he felt wrong for liking these things. You basically had to fuck it out of him but when he did, he felt so comfortable with you. Sex gets rough and a bit chaotic, but it was for you guys and you guys only so it didn't really matter. As long as you two were both comfortable and enjoying it, it didn't really matter.
L= Location (favorite place to do it)
This is where Spencer Reid lacks alright. He likes to be in his own bed when doing it, I mean he can't really afford to be too adventurous in this area. He's an FBI agent... he can't get caught doing it anywhere else. That's not to say y'all haven't done it in other places, the hotels he stays at on cases have been a regular thing for you guys, but he just doesn't feel safe doing it anywhere else but his own home.
M= Motivation (What turns them on?)
Like I said earlier, he never really got turned on before you. He always thought there was something wrong with him when it came to sex, but girl... you opened a floodgate to him. What turns him on the most is when he thinks of you. Especially if he sees something, let's say he sees a desk... he can't help but imagine bending you over it. It's just you, when you creep up on his mind randomly... he turns into putty.
He also gets so flustered and turned up to the max when you humiliate him in public, like teasing him in front of the team. He gets so sexually frustrated, hearing you joke about him in front of Morgan or teasing him with Garcia about how smart he is... especially calling him "pretty boy"... just gets him going.
N= NO (Something they wouldn’t do/ turn offs)
As an agent of the BAU, constantly around murder and gore and pure violence... Spencer is really picky about violence in the bedroom. He wants sex to be light and fun, not dark. He doesn't mind degrading or hitting... but he wants to keep it at a minimum. I mean he sees it all day, every day. So he'd just rather keep it upbeat in the bedroom, he'd much rather praise you than anything else.
That is a gray area for him, however there is something that he will never do. He hates bodily fluids, so spit and blood... etc. is just off the table for him. Not only is he around it all day, but he doesn't like the germs and bacteria it comes with.
O= Oral (Giving or receiving, skill etc.)
This man could go down on you for hours, I mean... hours. Like I feel like this man jumps up and down when you let him eat you out. This man will attempt to tease you but he gets so eager when he eats your pussy, so he always ends up letting you cum the second your orgasm comes. His favorite after-work activity is to come to the hotel or your shared apartment, pull your panties down, and eat you out like a hungry man. Not to get all psychological (I'm telling y'all I have been watching too much criminal minds lately) but I feel like it's definitely a control thing. I mean his entire life has been out of his control, his entire career is about fighting for control... so the only time he feels somewhat in control is when he goes down on you.
Spencer Reid obviously enjoys receiving as well, I mean what man doesn't like getting some head? He finds you so pretty on your knees, trying desperately to get him off which doesn't take too long for him when you're like this. Spencer just prefers giving simply because he wants to make you feel good, I mean he so desperately wants to make you feel good. Plus he's really good at it, I mean really good...
P= pace (are they fast or rough? slow or sensual?)
As said before, Spencer is eager. He is extremely fast with it, I mean to the point you have to tell him to slow down sometimes because he's going crazy. "Slow down Spence.." You moan into the pillows as your face down, ass up. "Sorry... it... you... fuck... you just feel so good" He stutters out, probably the only time spencer reid gets twisted up with his words is when he fucks you. You would have to be the one to go slow with it, you want him to feel the love in the act. You want him to understand sex doesn't have to be a scientific act, it isn't just for procreation or for the orgasm... it can be an act of love.
Q= Quickie (Their opinions on quickies)
He probably loves them more than eating you out, actually.. I wouldn't go that far. It's a close second to it. He's a busy man, always on a case or trying to finish a book. They are especially good when y'all are traveling for cases like y'all only have 8 minutes before you have to get back to work... he can make you both cum 3 times in 4. He loves long drawn-out ones too, he likes making you feel good for hours but they are rare occurrences simply because he's always getting called into the office. So honestly quickies are how y'all survive.
R= Risk (Are they okay with experimenting? do they take risks?)
He loves experimenting! Like I said before, he has done his research and he probably made a list of things he would like to try with you. He had to get comfortable first to be able to experiment, it was a long process of breaking Dr. Spencer Reid out of his shell. But now it feels like you guys are always trying new things, I mean like every time you guys have sex... Spencer asks if he can do something new to you.
As for risks, he is not for risks. If it genuinely is risky, causing harm to either one of you or something that will cause Morgan to tease him every day for?? It's off the table like I said before... His entire job is about risks, he just wants your guy's sex life to be healthy and normal.
S= Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Spencer can go all night. Let's be honest, it's how he stays fit. Like I said, Spencer gets horny quickly so after every orgasm he has... he's already hard again. I feel like the most rounds y'all have gone is like 8 or 9, it was all in the course of 3 hours too. Again it's a rare occurrence for you guys to have long drawn-out sessions, it mostly happens when spencer has the day off or after a case and y'all spend the day in the city the case was in. When days like this do come, spencer goes crazy and full-on out. He'll light the candles, he'll have a tub of lube, he'll have bottles of water for you guys because he knows y'all will need lots of water after.
I feel like Spencer doesn't last very long, maybe 5 minutes but like I said... he gets hard really fast and he'll edge himself over and over again just so he can make you feel good. I feel like you also help him build up his tolerance, so he slowly starts to last longer and longer. When y'all first started having sex, he couldn't last over 2 minutes... let's be honest now y'all.
T= Toys (do they have toys and who do they use them on?)
ooooh, this is a fun one because spencer reid loves experimenting, so toys are definitely something he likes. He's really into vibrators, especially when you let him watch you masturbate... he just loves watching you tease yourself with it. However, when you use vibrators on him... makes him weak in the knees, for obvious reasons but also because of the sensation of the vibrating and then your hands or pussy?!? He can't help but cum every single time without fail.
Alright y'all I know, spencer reid likes to be pegged. He went completely feral when you bought it for the first time, he begged you to destroy him with the strap. He is a bottom, he likes to be dominated... It goes without saying that he likes to be pegged. You do this thing though, where you're taking him from the back and you use a vibrator to hold his cock. You have him screaming with that move you do.
As for other toys, I feel like he has a pair of handcuffs or bondage toys laying around.
U= Unfair (how much do they tease?)
He doesn't do much teasing but you do, you tease him so much that he is begging to be fucked by the time you guys are alone. He's used to being teased by literally everyone in his life, but something about your teasing... no matter if sexual or not, never fails to make him all flustered.
His teasing isn't really teasing, to him it is but every time he tries teasing you, you end up getting so confused. He'd be like, "You look good in that shirt, it would look way better off though... You know statistically, women in shirts...". Just a very Reid thing to do. You always feed on his teasing though, you want to make him feel good about himself so you just smile and nod.
V= Volume (How loud are they?)
This mf is loud as fuck. Sometimes you have to push his face into the pillows or make him bite down on your panties because he's just so loud. He doesn't moan either, he whimpers and whines. There's a time when you love making him whimper, you encourage it actually. You love seeing his red, flustered face as he whines for you to let him cum. Then there are times, like in hotels, that you have to keep him quiet. Unfortunately, Spencer Reid doesn't do quiet. You shoving your wet panties in his mouth is a regular thing in those times, he can't complain because he loves the taste.
He is also very vocal, he loves praising and being praised. He will whimper out "Fuck... make me feel good.." or "wanna cum in you.." You always cave into his wants, I mean his little whimpers are so cute how can you not?
W- Wild card (Random headcanons)
We all know that spencer reid loves books and statistics, so he will definitely multitask when fucking you. He loves when he's at his desk at home and you come in, wearing nothing but one of his sweaters. You'll crawl down on your knees and suck him off under the desk. You force him to do work as you make him cum, over and over and over. He also likes it when you cockwarm him, asking him questions about the case and if he messes up or stutters... you snap your hips down and make him whine. One time, when you were riding him in his office chair... he was reading a book, like an old literature book. "Are you reading right now?" You asked him, confused because like what? and he replied. "yeah... it's okay, you can keep going. I'll be done in a minute." He smiled so innocently, you wanted to fuck him harder after that.
Also, he uses his statistics to make you feel good, he read in a college textbook about female anatomy that girls like their nipples played with during sex so he tried it on you. You had no idea you liked that until Spencer Reid started pinching them. He'll also tell you the statistics while doing it, which I think is kinda funny. "Statistically, 76% of women have never stimulated they're g-spot," He says as he thrusts up, hitting yours perfectly.
X= X-ray (What’s going on in their pants)
Spencer Reid is a very scrawny and skinny man, so I know he is packing. He's probably a little over average, not too much but enough to make you nervous if you'll be able to take it all. He has a very pretty dick too, very well-groomed and very clean. He doesn't have much girth too, but honestly, size doesn't matter.
Y= Yearning (How high is their sex drive)
Very high sex drive, that's why quickies are so important to him. He didn't really understand Morgan's obsession with women at first until he actually had sex... now he always wants to be inside of you. He begs a lot too, if he's horny... all he will do is beg and plead for you to touch him. "Spencer we just got here, settle down." You scold him as he tries to get you to the private bathroom. "Please y/n... you look so pretty in your dress and... it's making my stomach hurt." Eventually, spencers whining gets you all hot and heavy, and you end up fucking him in the bathroom.
Z= ZZZ (How quick do they fall asleep after?)
Spencer passes out after his balls are empty and he is worn out from everything. Like I guess anyone would be exhausted after 7 to 9 rounds of desperately trying to get off. Not only but he has a very mentally and physically exhausting job, so he's out like a light as soon as his head hits the pillow. 
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percervall · 8 months
Text
you make it rain (but I make it shower)
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Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader Words: 834 Request: Lando Norris + Little Mix - Power + fluff/angst Warnings: Christian Horner, sexism
In which you've had enough
---
“They’re only here for the hot drivers,” the RedBull team principal comments as he walks behind you and Lando. The two of you are watching a group of girls exchange friendship bracelets with some of his fellow drivers, their joy audible as the girls make them remember silly moments that have become inside jokes. Something about Horner’s dismissive tone has you seeing red. You feel Lando’s hand on your shoulder, trying to hold you back from doing something stupid –like getting yourself banned from the paddock.
“No, he needs to hear it. I won’t stand for this,” you brush off your best friend, “You’re such an ass, you know?” you call out to Christian Horner. The man stops and turns around.
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, you heard me. You should be thanking these girls, they’re the reason F1 has gotten as popular as it has. There’s a reason Daniel’s merch is pulling the numbers it does, why Lando’s own merch sells better than the McLaren stuff, or why Ferrari post literal thirst traps on Instagram every race weekend, and it’s not the 40-something-year-old men with beer bellies clad head to toe in RedBull, setting off flares –illegal flares– in the grandstands. The only reason for your success is because of Max and his army of loyal fans. Every single driver in that number 2 seat has failed to live up to your standards, but then again you also don’t offer them a particularly nurturing work environment. I’m not done,” you say as you see him open his mouth to respond, “Your team has the highest driver turnover rate on the grid. It also has some of the worst transparency when it comes to diversity. I know you hate him, but you could learn a thing or two about how Toto runs Mercedes, about Lewis’ dedication to making the sport more welcoming, and also about profit margins. Their car may be shit, but they’re actually making money. They were also one of the first teams to promote F1 Academy, something your own social media team was quite late with. Gee, I wonder why that is. So please forgive me, Christian, when I say that your opinion of girls and female fans of motor sports means absolutely nothing to me. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” you finish your rant as calmly as you can with your heart hammering in your chest, and walk away from him. Behind you, you hear Horner splutter something about Lando needing to keep his friends in check. You can only imagine what Lando’s reply might be to that. The adrenaline of calling out a team principal on his behaviour is beginning to wear off and you can feel your entire body tremble. You almost jump out of your skin when someone wraps an arm around you.
“Sorry, it’s just me nena,” Carlos says as he stears you into the Ferrari garage, “Horner is on a warpath, you’ll be safe here.” Both him and Charles walk with you to Carlos’ driver room. As soon as the door closes behind you, the tears begin to fall.
“I’m fine,” you splutter at their concerned looks, “I’m- f-fine.” Carlos pulls you into a hug while Charles mumbles something about finding Lando.
“How did you find me so quickly?” you ask, face still half buried in his shirt. Carlos chuckles.
“We were right there, signing some things for fans when it all went down.” Taking a deep breath, you pull back and wipe away the tears. “Pretty sure I’m about to get my paddock access revoked,” you joke through your tears.
“They have another thing coming if the FIA decides to do so,” you hear Lando say as he walks into the room. 
“I won’t apologise,” you say adamantly, allowing your best friend to pull you into a hug.
“Good. Besides, what should you apologise for? You didn’t call him names and all of it is true,” Lando replies. 
“I didn’t even tell him that even the grid struggled to name drivers during that grill the grid video,” you mumble into his hoodie, much to the amusement of Lando.
“I don’t think the FIA would dare revoke your pass, nena,” Carlos comments from where he’s looking over Charles’ shoulder at his phone. “Looks like someone’s filmed it. The video is going viral on social media already. From what I can see all the women in the comments are backing you 100%. If they ban you, there will be a riot.” You can’t help but smile at that. Wiping your nose on the sleeve of your sweater, you straighten up and, after saying goodbyes to Carlos and Charles, you walk back out of the Ferrari garage and head towards the McLaren one. Knowing that all the girls in the paddock will have your back, fills you with warmth. Whatever shit was about to come your way, you’d face it with your head held high, back straight and your friends on the grid supporting you no matter what. 
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I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't sure where to go with this song at first until @curiousthyme allowed me to just word vomit to her to get ideas and this is the result of that. Had so much fun writing the rant (even my heart was racing by the end of it 🙈)
Please let me know what you think! Your comments, tags, and likes mean the world to me
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kneelingshadowsalome · 2 months
Note
literally can't stop thing about highschoolsweetheart!au where darling is 24/7 clinging onto a slightly annoyed/frustrated könig's arm, autistically chatting his ear off about random things like cute cat videos that she saw, dinosaurs or art, gushing about how much she loves him, how utterly handsome he's looking and that they're absolutely meant to be!! 🥺 always nuzzling him and pressing sweet kisses to his face.
until... maybe he snaps and shuts her up :// not in a nice way. maybe i'm projecting here, but i've been silenced before and it did nasty things to me. (bit of advice for unknowing peeps, don't make autistic people stop rambling, if you can help it. let them down gently if you must 💌)
back to our sheep... she suddenly shuts in. doesn't chat as much as before, slowly sticking to only utilitarian stuff. avoids his gaze oftenly, gradually starting to keep her distance, stops initiating affectionate things. she still absolutely adores him, but she's hurt, heart constricting in her chest. thinks she's doing him a service by listening to his 'request' at shutting the hell up, thinking she's making him happier. she's still itching to babble, making an active effort at stoping herself from going back to her rambling habits.
how would könig feel? react?
imagine what would it be like, if after some time of this distance, at a social gathering or something, he sees a man approaching her. another MAN!! how is this possible?? and he's... he's asking her about things? looking interested in her talk, eyeing her up and down??
would you do me the honour of tormenting this poor man for me? :33
Her ramblings were cute at first, then they started to go in one ear and out the other. König has a budding tinnitus from work and only wants to rest, but she skitters to him like a lovesick cat, climbs into his lap, and starts to talk his ear off about attachment styles and some pop psychology.
The enthusiasm in her eyes is what bothers him the most – he’s hit with envy, bright hot and red, because he has no time for intellectual interests these days. There's nothing but gun oil and gym to keep him busy. He was supposed to become either a philosopher or a fighter, but since they said philosophers can’t get pussy, he chose the other option (and still got little to no pussy), sad wanker as he was back then.
He either doesn’t know what the hell she is talking about or, he would want to discuss with her about the subjects she’s into, so much in fact that it would soon become an autistic competition of its own. But the deeply ingrained memory of being called a scrawny nerd is keeping his mouth shut even now, when he’s approaching his mid-thirties.
So he tells her she should read an actual book about the subject and stop filling her head with nonsense layman theories.
It hurts; it fucking burns, the mute, helpless stare she shoots at him. She scoots away, sorely upset, and won’t come back to him before the evening fall.
There's no cute noises and kisses peppered all over his face, no dangling from his neck and prattling away about the differences between C. S. Lewis and Tolkien; no videos where a cat tries to fish the last pringles with its paw or memes that remind her of him. There's just a broken girl and a knife in his heart, but he’s too ashamed and proud to apologize.
And so she comes back to him when he won't go to her, the deep yearning always overthrowing her pride. It feeds his self loath by gallons: she's better than him, always has been.
She hugs his middle when they lie down to sleep, forehead pressed against his upper back. She’s too small to reach the back of his neck, but she won’t wriggle upwards like an adorable little worm to place a kiss there like she used to. Just falls asleep with a sigh, holding him tight.
His sleep arrives only after hours have passed, and the knife inside his heart has finally done its duty and euthanized the whole organ.
They never talk about it: but she prattles far less nonsense to him now. He nearly breaks the silence one day and asks her about the Myers Pigs test or whatever it was called, see if she would crack open from her shell and laugh. He could coax her to tell him what her newest interest is nowadays, what makes her eyes bright and shiny when he’s away. But he’s too fucking ashamed, too goddamm proud to tell her that she’s annoyingly cute when she talks so much and that he fucking loves her for that. That she’s the silliest girl he’s ever met and if he had a hat, he would take it off every time she wanted to share another monologue.
If he had the balls, he would ask if she had all this madness inside her when they were kids but never had the courage to spill it out… If he's the only person she has allowed to see this side of her without fear.
...
He returns to the party after having a smoke – a bad habit everytime he knows he's about to down a few beers – only to see she’s engaged in a heated conversation with some other guy.
Or, the guy is asking questions, while his girl is about to burst out of her dress from the eagerness to tell him everything about some new hyperfixation of hers. Something she hasn’t really shared with him; not anymore...
The knife is still in his heart, it seems, because it twists. Violently.
He looks for a weapon to defend himself: an empty beer bottle, a knife on the table, an untended umbrella by the door; his fists, ungloved. It’s just a routine check, a simple habit that was hammered in his system years ago, and of course this is not the time or the place for violence. He just… fantasizes about stabbing that guy in the liver with some blunt cutlery, pounding his ribs to pieces until his knuckles bleed with jealousy. He even fantasizes her screams when she sees what kind of a man he really is: a weak wanker who turned into a pitiful beast of a man.
These flashes take only a second or two, then he squares his shoulders and goes to get his girl back.
“How about we dance,” he offers his hand to her, palm up like the other guy was made of air – or not even that.
Her eyes light up with surprise, pure, undiluted hope, her interest in her chat companion now completely gone.
“You... You want to dance?”
His lips compress into a thin line, his nostrils flaring from the need to either claim her right on this floor or turn and beat the competing dick beside him into a pulp.
Then her hand finds his, her soft little smile pulls him back, her eyes now shining to him and only him.
It’s a slow one, the song, and he only notices it when she lifts her hands and cups the back of his neck. Tingles shoot down his spine and send a curious little twitch down his dick – even his testes pull up a notch. They’ve fucked a thousand times, and still, she has this effect on him... All she needs to do is smile and touch his neck, and his body answers; he’s hers.
“Does this mean you like me…?” She asks with a playful smile when his hands come to naturally claim her waist.
“...What?”
“You saw me with that guy and came to whisk me away.”
He tries to avoid her stare, fakes to steal a glimpse at the other pairs dancing, but it’s challenging when she looks at him like… like that.
“He was drooling all over you back there,” he mutters.
“...Oh? So you came to save me?”
“You have difficulty saying no.”
She's relaxed, while he's stiff, the adrenaline leaving him slowly and with a rising boner. It doesn't help that she's drawing little circles on his skin, right there where it tickles and sends more pulls down his cock.
He tries to breathe deep and slow, but it doesn’t really work much. There are times when he gets a hard-on from her playing with his hair or brushing a set of fingertips across his nipple, and then there are times when he really wishes she wouldn’t do shit like this. Not when they’re at a party and he almost had a temper tantrum in front of everyone.
“König… You never dance,” she says with a weighted stare. He answers it with a heavy glare of his own, eyes that should tell her enough about his true feelings for her.
There’s a thin line between love and hate, but never has he felt this undeniable truth as acutely as he has with her...
“If you don’t stop with the tickling I’m going to have to take you upstairs for a fuck.”
Her tiny little fingers stop immediately, but her eyes shine brighter than ever before. From shock, love, or awe, who knows. Then she picks up that annoying habit again, a bit too keenly to convey any kind of actual fear.
“You’re begging for it, aren’t you...?” He comments with genuine contempt.
“...Yes?” She answers with a breath of a smile, pure love in her stare.
He grunts as if tired, then scoops her up, right there on the dance floor and takes her upstairs when everyone can see.
“You like me. Admit it,” she babbles when he carries her inside some guest bedroom and kicks the door shut, with her snug and smiling in his arms.
“Yes, yes. You can tell me all about everything when I’m done with you.”
“All about everything?” She giggles as he throws her on the bed and starts to take off his shirt. Her eyes shoot to his pecs, then to his fingers when he unzips his pants. There's no lie, no deceit in that stare, just adoration and want.
“First you have to be quiet. Think you can manage that?”
She opens her pink little mouth, then shuts it, starts to nod like a broken doll.
When he eventually slides in, the poor doll whimpers, just like he thought.
"Hush," he gruffs, but doesn't cover her mouth.
He can have a little taste, a sip, a treat... Because the knife in his heart stops rattling only when he makes love to her – he does that often, even if he calls it 'fucking' in his mind.
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coryosbaby · 1 year
Note
Just imagine subby Ethan being all stressed with econ and stuff like that and asking soft Dom reader to help. I'd literally melt and die right there and then
this is disgusting if u know me irl no u don’t
Warning: finger sucking, oral (m recieving), mommy kink, smell kink, cum play, sex toys, ball sucking LMFAOO, anal play, exhibitism towards the end, sub! Ethan, dom! Reader
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“I’m so sick of this shit!”
Ethan’s voice rings out through your shared apartment as he throws a pencil onto the ground. His econ work sits in front of him, half done, scribble marks laid along the bottom of the page. His head is in his hands, and his bottom lip quivers. You frown at the boy’s frustration, leaning down to put your hand on his back and rub it soothingly.
“What’s wrong, baby?” you ask, and he rubs his eyes harshly, grabbing one of your hands and holding it against his face. It’s a habit, one that he developed since you two had got together, and one he always does when he’s really stressed.
“‘M just… I’m so wrapped up in work..” He sniffles, and you realize he’s crying. “I’m so tired of doing it! But I can’t pass if I don’t finish it.”
“Sweetheart…” You come to wrap your arms around him as he quietly cries into your chest. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise. Why don’t you take a break, hm? We can go watch that show you like, maybe order some takeout. Is that okay?”
He shakes his head.
“I-I need to do this assignment. I can’t finish it tomorrow, I have an exam-“
“You can do it tomorrow. I’ll even help you, if you need it. Right now you need to relax, okay? Please, angel?”
He contemplates for a moment, pretty face covered in tears. But then he nods, and begins to get up out of his seat.
“Yeah. I’ll do it tomorrow.” He wipes his eyes, and you smile, pressing a gentle kiss to his soft lips.
“Good boy.” You praise. You notice that he’s wearing his jeans, and grab his hand. “C’mon, let’s change you into something more comfortable.”
“Okay, momma..”
You beam at the nickname, one you know the boy is the most comfortable calling you. Once he changes into his most soft pajamas, you order takeout and you both watch his favorite show, just like you planned.
But then the poor baby starts getting squirmy. he’s moving around a lot more than usual, his hands trailing along your thighs, adjusting his pretty body. His back presses against your tits, and he can feel your hard nipples poking through the fabric of your tank top. He huffs, knowing that in this position he can’t reach out to feel your tits.
You tilt your head to look down at him, your fingers going up to his hair to settle him.
“Are you okay, sweet boy? Do you need something?”
And at that, he lets out a small whine, turning his body around to kiss you softly on the mouth. It’s slow, but you can feel the need in the action. Your eyes widen at the sudden intrusion of his tongue inside your mouth, gliding against your teeth. You moan, and he turns his body fully around so he can grab you by your jaw and needily push his cock against you.
You chuckle at his eagerness, pulling away to stroke your fingers along his plump lips.
“needy boy,” you coo.
His eyes are glazed over, now; he’s always been the type to get riled up way too easily over the smallest things. He’s such a sensitive boy, so full of want and the need to be touched and fucked. His tongue lolls out to taste your fingers, and he takes two of them into his mouth to suckle gently. You bite your lip, moving your fingers back into his tight throat, and when you teasingly poke the very back of it, he chokes. You smile, watching his eyes become watery from the aggravation. You stroke his neck, fingernails scraping the soft skin over his addam’s apple, and he keens.
“Like having your little throat filled, honey?”
He nods around your fingers, and his eyes roll back in bliss. He loves having things in his slutty little mouth, loves the taste of your skin and the way his throat clenches.
Your hand reaches down to grab his cock, and he moans. He’s hard, incredibly so, and you begin to rub your palm in circles over him. His big thighs shake from the stimulation, and you laugh.
“you’re so perfect, so beautiful. you look good enough to eat, baby.”
Your fingers move out of his throat with a wet pop, and he breathes deeply.
“Thank you.” He says, his voice scratchy.
You smile, and guide his body down onto the bed. He’s on his back, and his tee shirt rides up to expose his torso. You pull down your tank top to expose your tits, and he groans. He tries to reach his hands out to touch them, but you tusk and grab his wrists. He pouts.
“No, no, baby.” You tut. “You don’t get to touch yet.”
“But ‘m so stressed, momma.” He gives you puppy dog eyes, and he makes sure to run his calf along your ankle. “Don’t you wanna make it go away?”
You know he uses guilt tripping to try and get his way in times like this, and honestly, it works every time. He’s just too pretty to say no to, too perfect to you.
“You’re so spoiled, y’know that?” You say.
“I just wanna feel good…”
“I know, sweetheart,” you stroke his soft hair out of his face and he brings his hand up to feel yours. “I’m sorry. I know you’re really upset right now. And I’m gonna give you want you want. Because we take care of each other, right?”
“Mhm…”
You hold his hand as you reach over to the bedside table to pull out a bottle of lube from the first drawer. He giggles, excited that you’ve brought it out. Another thing he likes is when he gets all wet and messy.
He sighs in ecstasy when you reach into his pajama pants to pull his length out. You rest it on top of the waistband, and squirt some lube onto your hand. You then bring his cock into your palm and begin to stroke him. He keens, cock achy as he hears his own wet prick being fucked against your hand.
“T-Thank you, momma. You feel so good.”
“You’re welcome, baby.”
You move your body down so your mouth is near him. You can smell him, musky and oh so delicious, and bring his wet tip into your mouth.
His mouth falls open, and he whimpers.
“Oh, fuck!”
He thrusts his dick against your lips. He tastes so good, as sweet and as yummy as any candy or desert. Your brain gets foggy, feeling entranced by him.
And then you’re suckling one of his balls into your mouth, spit dripping down your chin as taste his sack. He’s shaking, pretty balls aching to be emptied and milked.
And when he’s cumming for the first time, when you’re tongue goes down to his ghost over his taint, he yells, and shoots thick creamy ropes all over his belly.
But you don’t stop. Your hand goes back to his dick and you aggressively stroke him, and he begins to cry.
“Yes! Nnngh.. use me, use me, momma! ”
And when he squirms, trying to crawl away from the delicious friction you’re giving him, you just laugh. It’s cute, the way his body and his brain are at two different standpoints; he needs to get away, needs to calm down, but he just loves the feeling of being overstimulated too much :((
You grab him by his throat, and he gasps. You maneuver his body to be up on his knees, his back pressed against your naked chest.
“You’re going to cum as many times as I want you to tonight. You wanted me to touch you, so that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”
He sobs, and then he’s gasping for air as his cock shoots out another load of white sticky cum onto your hand.
“Oh, that’s it. That’s my fuckin’ boy. Yeah, little cock feels so good, doesn’t it?” You bring your nose into his neck, feeling the sweaty skin there. God, he smells so fucking good. Your eyes almost roll to the back of your head, cunt throbbing and soaked. He’s all yours, yours to play with and use, and the heady scent of him is making you go feral.
Ethan nods eagerly. Regardless of the overstimulation, he’s still all excited and his stomach is twisting with butterflies. You’re so kind, and such a goddess to him. He can’t believe hes so lucky.
“‘W-Wan-“ he exhales shakily, and his head falls forward onto your arm. “‘Wanna cum again, momma. Want you to milk me. Feels so so good…”
You giggle, and he tries to calm his racing heart beat for a second by resting against you. You gently rub his shoulders, press kisses to his lean back. And then he’s bringing himself back down onto the bed and asking for you to use toys on him.
And of course, you do just that; soon, he’s sobbing as you press a dildo into his ass while a vibrator is shoved against the base of his leaking dick. He’s all messy, cock covered in sticky cum and wet lube, and hickeys liter his now completely nude body. His mouth is gagged with your panties and his throat is filled with the taste of you.
He cries when you finally manage to shove the whole silicone dick inside him, hips fucking up into the strong pulse of your pink vibrator.
Your wet pussy is pressed against his thigh as you control him this way, and he sobs as you leak all over his leg. And then, you whip out your phone and begin to record his body being abused and split open. He’s your perfect little doll, and he knows it.
And that’s why he starts to put on a show for the camera, giving into the adulterated bliss of his raging thoughts.
1K notes · View notes
eternalgyu · 25 days
Text
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me if you even care?!
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ genre: fluff, crack
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ pairing: ot7 riize x reader
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ warnings: kissing
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ notes: riize brainrot for life
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OSAKI SHOTARO
shotaro would find your bow agenda soo cute
especially when you put bows on every single thing you have in the house
like your hairbrush, your hair pins all your plushies had bows on them
he was scrolling on his phone one day when you tap his shoulder
“can i put bows on you :D”
would be confused you but would agree regardless because he is whipped
SUCH A PRETTY BABY
his curly hair would have 2 bows on each side and obv around his wrists as bracelets
WOULD DO THE CUTEST POSES WHEN TAKING PICTURES WITH YOU LATER
he'd be shy at first tho like covering his face
you would put ur lips on his cheek for another pose and after he would be like "okay kiss me properly now"
JDHSISIIAIA
giggling rn where's my taro
WOULD TAKE ONE OF THE BOWS AND PUT IT ON HIS BEANIE.
AND KEEP IT THERE
:(((
SONG EUNSEOK
he would find it odd but wouldnt rly say anything
mostly just because he doesn't see the hype
he might bully u sometimes but would still call u cute
until you come up to him w a roll of ribbon in ur hands.
at first he's super against it
and when you start begging him he gives in
reluctantly
"only because you look like a loser righr now and i pity you"
sigh.
what you don't know is that he's doing it because he's very whipped
gets super red when you get close to him to put on the bows
pulling you close to him when you take photos and videos afterwards
from then on he starts buying bow stuff for you!!
we've coquettifed him guys 🫡
JUNG SUNGCHAN
sungchan would pick up and comment on your new bow obsession pretty fast
would lowkey be fueling it by playing w ur hair when you had bows and kissing your forehead more
and would be confused but would let you when you offered to give him a makeover
PLS he'd be giggling the whole time tbh saying the ribbon was tickling him
"it tickles tho… WAIT BABE STOP"
AFTER the laughing fit
literally cutest poses when you guys are taking photos
bats his eyelashes HES JUST SO CUTE
hes so adorable I could take a bite out of him
what.
defo does this trend w u
fully coquettifed guys
AND
you start putting bows on his weights aswell <3
PARK WONBIN
i feel like wonbin would be well aware of the trend
definitely on the pretty ppl side of tt
and would just laugh when he sees bows everywhere
and when you ask him if you could put bows on him when he comes back from work
he would agree obv
bow on his neck as a choker <3
but SOMEHOW this man doesn't stop smouldering the whole time
serving face 24/7
and when you furrow your eyebrows in concentration he would let it slip for a moment
and smile at uuuuu
after you're done you snap a picture and send it to the gc w the rest of the boys
"hyung u look like a baby lamb" - anton
HIS FACE WOULD DROP
and you take your opportunity
and snap as many pictures as u can
blackmail photos <3
but in general he's the prettiest bby and he looks even prettier w bows <3
HONG SEUNGHAN
he finds your small obsession so so adorable
like he smiles so endearingly when he discovers yet another mug w a small ribbon tied to the handle
and when you ask him the big question he ofc agrees.
now this man can't have you this close to him without kissing you
like your trying to tie a ribbon and somehow his hand is behind your ear and he's pulling you down for a kiss
so after failing the second hair bow
you tie his hands together and finish the carefully tied knot with a bow
same thing for his legs.
you then proceed to take photos w him
"my hosta- boyfriend if u even care 😍"
where he poses adorably in the back
the video blows up and u become tiktok famous 🧍🏼‍♀️
u take more photos
wants atleast one picture where ur both kissing 🙄
cutie patootie.
LEE SOHEE
he thinks every single thing you do is so cute
ONE OF THE PICS OF U W BOWS IS HIS PFP
hes actually is the one fueling the bow obsession you have
"it looks a bit boring. should we put a bow on it?"
SO ADORABLE ACTUALLY
"yn, i saw this trend where people put bows on their boyfriends"
BOWS EVERYWHERE
he'd have small pigtails everywhere fastened by pink pretty ribbons
he probably has pink kiss marks aswell because he said it would "fit the aesthetic"
you definitely have a moment
where u turn around to kiss his cheek
and he turns around and his lips meet urs...
just saying 🤷‍♀️
coquetted to the max pookies
LEE CHANYOUNG
I don't rly think anton wouldn't pick up on it at first??
like sure he's chronically online but i don't think he's seen this trend
like he's see the bows and think they're cute
but wouldnt notice too much
which is why he's so surprised
"bows?? like jojo siwa…?"
anton knows all the trends except this one
JSJSJS U WOULD MAKE EYECONTACT W HIM
AND HE WOULD STARE BACK
and smile
and you would have to start again.
bow on his biceps.
it's self explanatory
WOULD DO CUTE TT DANCES W U
and suddenly when he walks into the dance room he's has a small pink ribbon tied to his headphones
AND HE SAYS IT REMINDS HIM OF U :((
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taglist: @slytherinshua
182 notes · View notes
onceuponaoneshotfanfic · 10 months
Text
You Are In Love (Superstar Chapter 10)
You kiss on sidewalks
You fight and you talk
One night he wakes
Strange look on his face
Pauses, then says
You're my best friend
And you knew what it was
He is in love
Roy and the Reader settle into their life together.
Roy Kent x Reader
9.7k words
Warnings: Language, allusions to smutty things, adults drinking, teeny tiny talk about insecurities, some of the most self-indulgent and fluffy writing I have ever done in my entire life
Author's note: I'm feeling really emotional about posting this final chapter, and I just really want to say THANK YOU. This story really helped get me out of a writing slump, and your love & support has been a huge part of that. I've loved spending so much time with these characters, but more than that, I loved getting to share this story with you. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU. I hope you enjoy all this sugary sweet fluff!
~
Roy stared at me in utter disgust, as if I had just told him I was becoming a Man City supporter or hated The Sound of Music. “That is the fucking worst combination of words in the history of the fucking world.”
I rolled my eyes at his dramatics. “Brunch with Keeley and Jamie is not torture, Roy.”
“To me it is,” he growled, pulling back the blankets and crawling into bed.
“Come on. It’ll be fun. Keeley’s one of my closest girlfriends, and Jamie’s your best friend,” I pointed out as I followed suit, pulling the blankets over us.
Roy let out a deep groan. “Why the fuck does everyone keep fucking saying that?” He turned to face me, propping himself up on his elbow. “I want to really, actually, literally murder him. I fantasize about it almost as much as I fantasize about you. How the fuck is that friendship?”
I shrugged and kissed the tip of his nose. “Everyone has their own love language. And violence towards Jamie Tartt is yours.”
“Want to know my love language when it comes to you?” he asked suggestively, his hand snaking its way under the t-shirt I wore. “I’m fucking fluent.”
“I’d prefer if your love language was going to brunch,” I teased, giving him a playful shove.
He grunted, annoyed at my lack of response to his flirting. “Fine. But I’m drinking as many fucking mimosas as I want.”
The next morning, Roy begrudgingly sat at a patio table across from Jamie, listening to Keeley and I gossip and giggle over mimosas and a ridiculous amount of food. Suddenly, she lit up.
“Oh! Roy, there was something I wanted to run by you.” She took his grunt as the signal to continue. “So, with the Greyhounds doing so well, there’ve been lots of requests for interviews and stuff, y’know? And there’s this hot new talk show, hosted by…” She took a quick look at her mobile. “Ryley Sharp. Two Ys. And his people reached out to see if they could get a gaffer to come on for a chat.” She shrugged. “Would you be interested?”
Roy narrowed his eyes and downed the mimosa in front of him. “Why me? Doesn’t this seem more Ted’s kind of shit?”
Keeley shifted, shooting Jamie a glance. Jamie nodded encouragingly; he’d clearly heard this whole pitch already. “I could ask Ted, but…” She thought a moment. “I mean, you’re a household name, so it would be very good ratings. And, as a friend, I was thinking it would be a good opportunity for you to…” She trailed off, her eyes flickering to me.
“For me to do what exactly?” Curiosity floated behind his stony expression.
“To control your own narrative,” Keeley finally said. When she saw the confusion on both our faces, she continued. “Listen, I know you hate the media-”
“I wish they’d all die in a fiery explosion and then have all their ashes fed to feral hogs who eat their own shit so there’s just an endless cycle of their ashes being eaten and shit out for all eternity,” Roy confirmed.
Keeley nodded slowly, glancing at me as if to ask ‘This is your boyfriend?’ “Right. But think about it this way. You’re a very public figure, Roy. And now that the two of you are done pretending you’re capable of hiding your relationship, you’re going to be going out in public together. And you are going to be photographed together. And your name-” She turned to me. “-is going to become known as well. And I assume none of us want a repeat of… you know what.”
A snort flew out of Jamie’s nose. “Boy-toy Roy,” he cheeked.
Roy bared his teeth. “I have my taxidermist on speed-dial.”
“Boys,” I scolded. “Keeley, please continue.”
“Thank you,” she hummed. “Now, Roy, if you go on this show, you’ll talk about Richmond of course. All about how well they’re doing, how great Ted is, how you see yourself in the lads, that sort of thing. And then, Ryley’ll ask you about yourself. Particularly…” She gestured towards me. “This way you get to decide what people know about you. No room for speculation from the press, no room for making shit up to sell a magazine. Just ‘I’m Roy Kent, I’m in a very happy relationship with the world’s fittest woman, and we have an adorable dog’.” She offered up a hopeful smile. “What d’you think?”
All three of us looked at Roy expectantly. He shoved a piece of fruit into his mouth, then reached over and grabbed my mimosa and gulped it down.
“Tell me about this Ryley Sharp prick,” he finally muttered, taking my hand under the table.
Keeley perked up and gestured to a passing waiter to bring more drinks. “He’s not too bad actually. I’ve watched his show before. Bit of an airhead, but very sweet. And I’ve asked around to see what people have to say about him. Not a bad word from anyone. He’s absolutely not the gotcha kind of guy. He’ll ask you lots of easy, soft questions, make you look good, give you the opportunity to gush about this one here-” She winked at me. “-and he won’t go into anything you don’t want to go into.”
Roy grunted, tapping the table. He glanced at me. “What d’you think?” he asked earnestly.
I looked back at him. His eyes were unsure, eyebrows all scrunched. He’ll do whatever I ask, I realized. He wanted to make me happy, to help me feel safe and secure. And fuck, I wanted to do the same for him.
“I think,” I started carefully. “I think you should do what you want. Keeley makes some really good points about getting out in front of things and not giving the media room to speculate, but if it’s going to kill you, don’t do it.” I squeezed his hand. “I’ll support whatever you decide.”
“Hmmf.” He looked my face over, thoughtfulness in his expression. “Fuck it.” He looked at Keeley. “I’ll do it, but I’m not saying nice things about that prat.” He nodded at Jamie.
Keeley squealed, ignoring the outraged look on her boyfriend’s pretty face. “Ahh! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She grabbed her phone and began typing rapidly. “I’ll pop by tomorrow with all the details. And a backstage pass for you,” she added, winking at me. “And don’t you worry, Roy, I’ll be there the whole time to make sure it goes well, I promise.”
He nodded curtly. “Yeah, well.” He cleared his throat. “I can still swear and shit, yeah?”
~
I smiled watching Roy through the mirror as the makeup woman attempted to powder his face. He was wearing his signature scowl, along with a charcoal suit that hugged him beautifully. At Keeley’s insistence and my prodding, he had gotten a haircut and tidied his beard. All in all, he managed to look even better than he did on any of my old posters.
I really get to go home with this man, I thought with a giggle as I nestled further into the couch I shared with Keeley in the greenroom. Noticing the giddy way I was watching him, he met my eyes in the mirror and cracked a smile.
“No, you’re not putting makeup on me when we get home,” he warned.
“Spoilsport,” I teased as the door opened and a production assistant entered to let Roy know that he would be on after the commercial break, which meant it was time for all of us to leave the greenroom.
Keeley linked her arm through mine as another assistant led us to a pair of audience seats that had been reserved for us to watch the interview. “I made sure they told Roy exactly where we’re sitting,” Keeley assured me as we settled in.
Sure enough, as soon as Roy walked out onto the set to thunderous applause, his gaze found mine. I wondered if the viewers at home would also notice the tiny twitch of his mouth when our eyes locked. He plopped down into the stylish chair by Ryley Sharp’s desk.
We had gotten to meet Ryley Sharp before the show, and Keeley had been right about him; sweet and a bit of an airhead, in the best possible way. He was very excited to have Roy on the show and was thrilled to know I’d be sitting out in the audience with Keeley. He was completely onboard with everything Keeley had discussed with us and thought that Roy wanting to chat about me during the interview was simply “adorable”.
Keeley gripped my hand as Roy was interviewed. I was hugely impressed; he was almost charming and nearly friendly, he actually answered questions, and he even managed to keep his “fucks” to a minimum. It was the best interview I’d ever seen him do, and I’d probably watched every single one he’d done in his entire career. Multiple times.
My cheeks hurt from smiling so much as I listened to the audience laugh at some cheeky comment he made about Ted.
Ryley Sharp shifted in his seat, running a hand through his bleached hair. “Alright, so it looks like things are going well for you, Roy. Happily retired from a massively successful career, coaching Richmond to one of the great underdog stories of our time. What about in your personal life?” He raised his eyebrows. “Got a girl?”
Roy shifted in his seat, clearing his throat. “I actually do,” he admitted, his eyes flicking in my direction as the studio audience ooohed.
“Roy Kent, are you squirming?” Ryley Sharp humorously gasped, leaning forward.
“Do I have to answer that?” Roy asked, a teasing edge in his voice.
Ryley Sharp shook his head. “Not if you agree to tell us about this girl of yours..”
Roy nodded. “Sounds like a deal to me.” He gave a small cough. “She’s, uh, she’s amazing, yeah. We work at Richmond together and, I dunno, we clicked. Decided to give it a go, and so far, so good.”
“Descriptive as always,” Ryley Sharp teased, eliciting some light chuckles from the audience. “Mind if we do some lightning-round questions to learn more?”
Roy nodded firmly. “Fuck it, let’s do it.”
Ryley Sharp cleared his throat. “She like football?”
“Loves it.”
“Fan of yours?”
A smirk graced Roy’s face. “Huge.”
“Her parents like you?”
“I like to think so.”
“She smart?”
“Brilliant.”
“Funny?”
Roy bobbled his head. “She thinks she is.”  He winked in my direction as the audience chuckled.
Ryley Sharp’s friendly smile widened. “She pretty?”
“Fucking gorgeous.”
“And am I to understand…” Ryley Sharp perked up a little. “She’s here in our studio audience?”
Sharp had come up with this idea, explaining that the audience would find it charming as hell. Keeley had left it completely up to us whether we wanted to go along with it, and I’d left it up to Roy, who surprised us all with his yes. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Roy sit up straight and turn his gaze back to me.
“Um, yeah, yeah she’s here.” He gave a little nod in my direction. “Sitting right over there with our friend Keeley.”
Sharp waved to someone off-stage. “Could we get a mic out there?” he called.
In an instant, the same production assistant from earlier was standing next to my seat, holding a microphone. Roy gave me a thumbs up as Ryley Sharp turned his attention to me.
“Why don’t you stand up, love?” he asked as the house lights came on and a camera turned my way.
Keeley pushed me to my feet as my face burned. I smiled and gave Roy a little wave as the production assistant handed me the mic. “Hi,” I said timidly, suddenly hating the sound of my own voice.
Roy smiled, a full smile, and nodded back. “Hey,” he called tenderly. Even from my seat, I could see his eyes were full of affection.
Ryley Sharp cleared his throat playfully. “Alright, lovebirds, back to the interview.” He focused on me. “So, Roy Kent’s girl, eh?” I nodded, suddenly bashful. “What’s it like dating this guy, hmm?”
I lifted the microphone to my face. “Lovely, actually. He’s a pretty good one.” The wink Roy sent me bolstered my confidence.
“Alright, I’m sure all the hardcore football fans out there are dying to know.” Sharp looked at me with mock seriousness. “What is the most romantic thing Roy Kent has ever done?”
My eyes drifted from Ryley to Roy who raised his eyebrows at me. He spoke up. “It’s Paris, innit?”
I nodded, biting back a grin. “Can I tell them about it?”
Roy sat back in his seat and shrugged, as if it were totally normal for us to have a conversation on national television. “Why the fuck not?”
I turned my attention back to Sharp. “Um, well Richmond had gone to Paris for a friendly. And after the match, Roy here surprised me by taking me to the Louvre.” More ooohs from the audience. “After hours,” I added cheekily, garnering more hooting. “And we had a lovely time. Dinner and champagne, the kind of thing only a retired footballer can afford to do.”
Sharp joined in the audience’s chuckles. “Goodness. If that’s a date, I can’t wait to see what his proposal’ll look like!”
My cheeks burned, but I tried to maintain my composure. “Yeah, well, you and my mother have something in common then,” I joked, earning a laugh from the whole room- most especially Roy, who was shaking his head and looking at me like I was the most wonderful, special thing he’d ever seen in his life.
Ryley Sharp asked me a couple more questions- about Oscar and about what Roy and I liked to do when we weren’t at work- before wrapping it up. “Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for Roy Kent and his lovely girlfriend!”
As the audience gave a hearty round of applause, I handed the microphone back to the assistant and looked at Roy, who was still staring at me. I blew him a kiss, and he looked down, clearly blushing. He turned back to Sharp, shaking his hand and looking uncharacteristically cheerful.
After the show wrapped, Keeley and I made our way back to the greenroom, where Roy was chatting with Ryley Sharp. He offered me a smirk when he saw me and placed a kiss on my forehead.
“You were fucking brilliant,” he murmured in my ear.
Ryley Sharp reached out and shook my hand. “How’d it feel?”
I cleared my throat. “It was fun,” I admitted. “But not something I could do every day. Don’t know how you all live with being famous.”
Keeley giggled and nudged me. “Oh, so you don’t want me to set you up with a modeling contract then?”
“Hell no,” I laughed. “Being Roy Kent’s girl is more than enough attention for me.”
~
Life became predictable. Easy. Routine. And I loved every moment of it.
We’d spend our days at Nelson Road, with Roy in training and me doing my best to bring some semblance of order to the coaching staff, eating lunch together almost every day. Our evenings were often spent with Phoebe and Oscar, making dinner together, playing, and watching movies until Roy’s sister came for pickup. Nearly every night was spent together, either at his place or mine, and our mornings were spent waking up in each other’s arms. On weekends we were with the Greyhounds, or taking Phoebe on outings, or meeting up with friends, or just sitting on the couch and reading.
From time to time our picture would end up online or in a magazine: playing at the park with Oscar, or sharing an embrace after a Richmond victory, or getting drinks with Keeley and Jamie. More often than not, the picture featured a blurred gesture on Roy’s part, but he could always be counted on to point out how stunning he thought I looked in the photos.
Amidst this domestic bliss- or “the boring life of dating an old geezer”, as Roy called it- was one thrilling constant: Richmond was still winning. They’d bounced around the top four spots over the course of the season, but there was actual expectation for them. More than one pundit even selected them as their pick to win the “whole enchilada”, as Ted and Dani loved to say in unison. Things came down, in true dramatic fashion, to the last match of the season, which would be against Arsenal.
Roy had already gone running with Jamie and was showered and set to go by the time I woke up, so he sat on the bed with Oscar and read as I got myself ready. He not-so-stealthily watched me over the top of his book as I dug through the half of the closet I was slowly taking up and cleared his throat.
“Wear the sweater,” he mumbled, absently turning the page of his book.
I turned to him. “Hmm?”
He glanced up at me again. “The fucking lucky sweater,” he repeated. “We could use all the fucking help we can get. Wear it.”
“Oh.” I looked at the sweater that was always in his closet. I wore it at home all the time, wore it out for errands occasionally, but had never worn it to a match. It felt a little silly, and I didn’t feel the need to give anyone fodder to tease us with. I turned back to Roy, who had set his book down by now. “Won’t I look a bit funny, wearing your name with you there in the dugout next to me?"
Roy sat up, his face soft. “I mean, people should get used to seeing you wearing my name.” He paused, tilting his head. “Right?”
I felt myself blush. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t thought about marrying Roy someday; I���d been thinking of that pretty much since I hit puberty. And the topic had been one that our friends and colleagues teased about from time to time. And it was something I felt myself wondering about more and more lately.
“Oi.” Roy was grinning at me, clearly amused by my silence. “Don’t worry, I’m not fucking proposing after the match or anything like that.” He stood up and came over to where I was, wrapping his arms around me. “I mean, someday, sure. But not today.” He kissed my forehead. “Alright with you?”
Roy Kent wants to marry me someday. Roy Kent wants to marry me. Roy Kent wants to fucking marry me.
I gave an embarrassed laugh and returned his hug, pretending that he hadn’t just filled my heart with more love than I knew how to carry. “Alright. I’ll wear the fucking sweater then.”
Clad in my dark blue sweater, KENT screaming across the back in white lettering, I stood by the coaches all game long, screaming and cheering louder than usual. Rebecca had been lovely enough to get my family amazing seats, and I swore I could hear my father’s shouts above the rest of the crowd. I tore my eyes away from the gameplay to check the clock, which was fast approaching the 100th minute. By some incredible miracle, we were up 2-1 and just needed the ref to blow the fucking whistle.
As we watched the boys do all they could to keep possession of the ball and push towards Arsenal’s goal, I felt Roy grip my hand tightly and heard him muttering “Come on, fuck, come on,” under his breath non-stop.
Fweet fweet fweeeeeeeeeet!
“Holy fuck!” At the sound of the final whistle, Roy picked me up and spun me around, squeezing me so tight I swore I’d have bruises the next day. Everyone from the dugout raced onto the pitch, where the team was screaming their heads off, jumping on each other like children.
I spent God knows how long on that field, hugging sweaty men and kissing their faces, shouting out expressions of pride over the roar of the fans who were forcing their way onto the pitch. Roy finally pulled me back to himself with urgency, as if he couldn’t bear to be far from me for long.
“Are you fucking crying?” There was a loving edge of teasing in his voice as his thumb swiped across my cheek, which I hadn’t even realized was wet.
I nodded, not caring that I was full grown woman weeping over a football match. “Fuck yeah I am,” I confirmed. “They fucking did it, Roy.”
He shook his head and wiped away more of my tears. “We fucking did it. You’re part of this team. Don’t you ever fucking forget that.” He kissed my forehead, my cheeks, my nose, my chin, every square inch of my face. “I love you,” he mumbled as his mouth finally found mine.
“Love you too,” I managed to huff out between kisses that were slowly becoming heated as the boys began shouting the Richmond chant at the top of their lungs and formed a conga line. “Watch it, or Jamie’s gonna give you another warning about keeping things family-friendly.”
“Fuck it. If they wanna broadcast this, we might as well give ’em something worthwhile.” With that, he dipped me backwards, latching his lips to mine in a way that could only be described as cinematic.
That kiss was as if he’d managed to peer into every girlhood fantasy of mine and decided it wasn’t enough. As if he’d taken every great rom-com kiss and wanted to show them how it was done. I knew my girlfriends were sitting in a pub, cackling with glee about how I had twenty-eight posters of this man in my childhood bedroom and was now snogging him on national television. I knew my parents were in the stands, my mum beaming with joy at seeing me so in love, my dad playfully grumbling and asking if Roy really had to kiss her like that, but unable to help the smile on his own face. I knew we’d have to endure lots of teasing at the team celebration, with the guys egging Roy on to kiss me like that again, and with Roy giving in after having just the right amount of shots that would make him forget to be grumpy. And I knew I’d be thinking about this particular kiss for a very, very long time.
As I touched his face, wondering how long we could get away with this embrace before we crossed over into truly insufferable, my mind drifted back to our conversation that morning, and an obvious realization hit me: I want to kiss Roy Kent for the rest of my life.
~
Rebecca’s email took me off guard. It was a week since the Arsenal match, and Roy was outside putting our suitcases in the car while I double checked the reservations for the weekend holiday we’d planned to celebrate the end of the season. It was supposed to be a simple, easy weekend, full of food and drinks, relaxing, reading, maybe a little sightseeing if I could convince Roy, and no football whatsoever. Just us, a normal couple. But now Rebecca’s email would be looming over my head the whole time.
Roy noticed. Of course he noticed, he noticed everything when it came to me. We had stopped to have lunch and for once, I was quiet. He tilted his head at me as I poked at my food.
“Alright. What the fuck is wrong?”
I looked up at him, the concern in his eyes contrasting with the harsh way he spoke. “Nothin’,” I lied.
He shook his head. “Come off it. I’m not going to spend my first chance to actually relax in months with you not talking to me. You’ve got me too used to all your fucking prattling.” He reached out and took my free hand as his voice softened. “Come on. We’re supposed to tell each other things. Fucking vulnerable, remember?”
Despite myself, I smiled at our favorite word. “I, um, got an email from Rebecca this morning.” I squirmed, not quite looking at Roy.
“Doesn’t she know it’s your fucking break?” he teased, clearly trying to help me relax. “Fuck does she want?”
I set my fork down and took a deep breath before I spoke at hyper speed. “Rebecca wants to make me the Assistant to the Director of Football Operations. Working directly under Higgins. She says they both were very impressed with everything I did this season, and they want to see what I can do with more responsibility. And Higgins wants more time with his family, and he and I get along so well already, and it would be a really great opportunity-”
“I know.”
His suddenness caught me off-guard. “What d’you mean you know?”
He bobbled his head in that nervous manner of his, half-smile playing on his lips. “Rebecca and Higgins came to the gaffers before the Arsenal match and asked what we’d think of the move.”
My stomach fluttered as I stared at him. Fuck, I should have ordered a drink.“And what did you tell her?”
Roy sipped the beer he’d been smart enough to order. “Told her she could fuck right off if she thought she could move you out of our office.” He smirked and shrugged. “And that you completely fucking deserve it.” He leaned forward earnestly. “You’re too fucking good to stay down there with us, babe. You should be running the whole fucking club, not just bossing around me and Ted and Beard. You are going to be amazing. I’ll fucking manage to figure out how to get to interviews and press conferences on time, I promise.”
Tears I didn’t realize had formed threatened to fall when I saw the excitement and pride glowing on his face. “Just put a fucking reminder on your phone, you idiot,” I managed to choke out.
“See, it’s that loving, patient guidance I’m going to miss when you’re upstairs plotting your hostile takeover of the football world.” Roy lifted my hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to my knuckles. “Almost as much as I’ll miss seeing your gorgeous face every time I walk into our office.” He squeezed my hand. “Take the fucking job.”
“It’s a pretty great job,” I murmured, gazing at our hands. “And I mean, who knows, maybe someday I could have Higgins’s post.”
Roy’s smile widened when he saw me seriously considering the position. “Ruthless woman. I’ll let Higgins know you’re coming for his job.”
He earned a laugh from me. “We’ll see how I like being his assistant first,” I assured Roy. I squeezed his hand, thinking. “I’m just really going to miss sharing an office with you, y’know?”
He shrugged. “Guess we gotta figure out a way to make up for all that lost time.” He paused, taking a sip of his beer as his eyes suddenly became shifty. “Say, what do you think of that flat of yours?”
I almost choked on the sudden shift in the conversation. “My flat? It’s fine. I like it well enough.”
Roy’s face became serious. “But d’you really like it? Because I’d be willing to move in, but fucking Oscar’s spoiled and likes having a yard. I really think he’d prefer it if you moved in with us.” He licked his lips anxiously. “I’d fucking like it too.”
Roy wants to live together. Roy wants to live together. Roy wants to live together. “You want me to move in with you?” I squeaked, wondering, as I often did, when I would wake up from the dream I was living in.
“You already have your own key. You’re there even more than your own flat. Half your shit is already in my closet. I fucking hate it when you’re not there. Besides, you can’t fucking cook, so I’d like to make sure you’re well-fed.” He shrugged. “D’you want to?”
He was doing that thing. That thing where he acted like something was insignificant and casual, like it didn’t matter too much, when underneath he was a ball of nerves, anxiously waiting for an answer. It was a defense mechanism, for sure. A way to make sure people knew that whatever they said didn’t matter to Roy, even though I knew that what I said mattered to him very much. It was, in my opinion, one of the most adorable and attractive things he did.
I didn’t make him sit in that nervousness for long. “Yeah. Yes. Definitely.” My smile was probably the dopiest, silliest one I’d ever worn. “I’d love to.”
“You sure? You don’t seem too thrilled.” Roy grinned and leaned back in his seat, staring at me for a moment. “Look at you. Kickass new job, moving in with your dishy boyfriend. Your life fucking rocks.”
“I’m sorry, did you just call yourself dishy?” I snorted.
He cleared his throat, cheeks tinted pink. “Fucking saw someone call me that on Twitter the other day. Figured my girlfriend would agree.”
I shook my head and laughed. “God, what’re you going to do without me in the office telling you when you sound like an absolute wanker?”
~
The off-season involved a lot of moving on my part. First, I had to pack up my entire flat and move everything into Roy’s house; luckily, Roy was right when he said that half of my things were already at his place. He’d managed to wrangle the players who weren’t away on holiday to help us move all the boxes one afternoon, rewarding them with pizza and beer, which somehow evolved into a karaoke party in Roy’s- our­- living room, with Oscar jumping from person to person, just waiting for someone to drop a slice of pizza.
It was well past midnight by the time everyone left; I assumed Roy would want to go straight to sleep after the exhausting day we’d had. Instead, he dragged me into the kitchen once I’d changed into an old Sunderland shirt of his.
“Didn’t you have enough pizza already?” I asked, stifling a yawn. “’m ready for bed.”
“Just have one thing to do first,” he mumbled, rummaging through the fridge. “Grab a couple of glasses from the bar, yeah?”
Rolling my eyes, I did as I was told, picking up a pair of wine glasses that Keeley had gifted us in honor of the move. When I brought them back to Roy, I stopped in my tracks.
On the counter was a chilled bottle of champagne and a tiny cake, just perfect for two. Roy leaned on the counter, eyeing me carefully, a smirk playing on his lips.
“What’s all this then?” I breathed, blinking from either the tiredness or the surprise. Maybe both.
Roy shrugged, picking up the bottle. “Fucking celebrating of course.” He opened the bottle with ease, but not without champagne starting to flow out. “Shit, bring me the glasses,” he laughed, trying to avoid spilling everywhere.
The kitchen filled with sleepy giggles as we managed to get most of the champagne into the glasses rather than on the countertop. Once we’d finally gotten our glasses filled properly, I sat in my usual spot, with Roy opting to stand next to me, gazing at me softly. He held up his glass.
“Welcome home,” he murmured, tapping his glass to mine with a small clink.
My cheeks warmed as I sipped my champagne, staring at Roy as he did the same. Maybe it was the late hour and my tiredness, but it didn’t feel real, moving in with Roy. And it wasn’t even because it was Roy freaking Kent; rather, it was because I found it hard to believe anyone was capable of feeling the intense love that burned in my chest as Roy handed me a fork and slid the little cake towards me.
We ate and drank in a comfortable silence, the only sounds being the clinking of forks against the plate and Oscar pattering around and our soft chuckles every time our eyes met. After Roy put everything in the sink, mumbling something about taking care of the dishes in the morning, he turned to me, sleepy smile on his face.
“Oi, you brought the blanket, right?”
I had this one particular blanket that had always laid on my couch in my flat. My gran had made it, and it was, without a doubt, the warmest, comfiest blanket in the universe. Roy had gotten in the habit of stealing it from the first time he’d come over to watch The Sound of Music and often brought it to bed when he spent the night. Honestly, there was a very real chance he asked me to move in just so he could have the blanket at his house.
“Um, yeah, it’s one of these boxes somewhere…” I ran my fingers through my hair, eyeing the ridiculous number of cardboard boxes that now decorated Roy’s- our­- house.
Before I could suggest he waited until the morning to look for it, he had already walked over to one of the boxes and started digging. Since he clearly was not going to bed until he found it, I figured I might as well do the dishes. I was rinsing the glasses we’d drank champagne out of when I heard-
“What the absolute fuck is this?”
When I turned around, there were two Roy Kents in the doorway. One was my boyfriend, shirtless and ready for bed, eyebrows raised higher than I’d ever seen them, his mouth wide open in amusement, laughter bursting out of him. The other was cardboard, clad in his Richmond uniform and wearing a scowl.
“Oh fuck!” I nearly dropped the glass I was holding. “You weren’t- that box was supposed to go to my mum’s- shit!” I was choking on embarrassment as my face turned redder than a tomato.
In all the years I’d spent watching him on television and the countless hours I’d now spent in his presence, I had never heard Roy Kent laugh so damn much. He was doubled over with laughter, wiping away tears and making so much noise he woke up Oscar.
I turned off the sink and stormed over, folding the cardboard cutout back up and tossing it on top of the box it had come out of. With a huff, I turned to Roy, who was finally starting to breathe again.
“It was a gag gift from my dad for my birthday a few years ago,” I mumbled, not looking at his smug face. “Kept it because my mates and I thought it was funny to bring out when we watched matches at my place. I was going to take it to my mum’s, figured one of these days I’d sort through all my… football things and throw some stuff out and decide what to do with the rest.”
Seeing the humiliation on my face, Roy sobered up and grabbed my shoulders. “C’mere,” he chuckled, tugging me close to himself. “Please tell me you were not going to throw that thing away.”
I shrugged, still avoiding his gaze. “Probably. I dunno. Wasn’t planning on deciding that right now.”
“Hey.” He lifted my chin, forcing me to look at the tenderness in his eyes. “Don’t you dare be fucking embarrassed.” He tilted his head when I let out a little hmmf. “Did I… did I ever apologize for bringing up your posters that night?”
We both knew what he was referring to.
“Dunno,” I muttered, knowing full well that the answer was no. We’d never brought up that particular comment.
“Oh.” Roy’s hands slid off my shoulders and he grabbed my hand, leading me to the couch. We sat, and he kept my hand in his. “I’m sorry. I… I never want you to feel embarrassed about having a fucking crush on me, alright?”
I shrugged, glancing away. “It’s… it’s silly. All those posters and the sweater and now the freaking cardboard cutout. It just reminds me what a crazed stalker fan I was before we met. Makes me feel a bit embarrassed.”
He smiled and shifted closer. “It might be a little silly,” he agreed. “But it’s also fucking flattering.” He brushed some hair out of my face. “Y’know, when I first saw all that stuff in your room, I thought my heart was going to fucking stop. Because there you were, my stunning new officemate, with my stupid fucking face on your walls. Even the really bad pictures.” He shrugged, suddenly bashful. “Made me realize I had a real fucking shot with you.” He gestured towards the folded-up cutout. “So, I know when you see that shit, you feel embarrassed and all, but when I see it, I remember how fucking excited I got when I realized that you were at least attracted to me. And how seeing you get all flustered, just like you are right now-” He poked my nose affectionately. “-gave me the guts to kiss you.”
To punctuate his point, he leaned over and gently pressed his lips to mine, reminding me of that moment in my bedroom, where he sat on my bed and asked if he was still hot and kissed me for the first time. It felt just as surreal now as it did then, and I asked whatever god was out there to not let me wake up from this dream.
When Roy pulled back, he wore that same fucking smile, the one I didn’t think I’d ever get used to seeing. “Right. Help me find the fucking blanket so we can get some sleep, hmm?” Holding my hand, he helped me to my feet, and the two of us set to work, looking for the blanket so we could finally go to our bed.
~
Working for Higgins was an easy adjustment. I loved my new office upstairs; I had put up photos of Roy, both of my little orange sticky notes, a couple drawings from Phoebe, pictures with Keeley and Rebecca, Oscar, the team, my family, Roy’s family. The handmade card that Ted, Beard, Roy, and the whole team had signed to congratulate me on the promotion sat on my desk, alongside a framed photo of Roy kissing me after the final game against Arsenal, courtesy of Keeley, who’d found it in a tabloid.
I loved having my office right next to Higgins, who liked to pop in for a chat in the late mornings, and brought in treats that his wife made for us to share, and tapped out a beat on our shared wall when I played my music loud enough for him to hear. He listened excitedly to my ideas and suggestions, and he quickly stopped referring to me as “Assistant to the Director of Football Operations” and began calling me “Assistant Director of Football Operations”; it was a change everyone at the Dog Track was quick to adopt.
But I had to admit, my favorite thing about my new office was the window by my desk. As much as I missed my office that I had shared with Roy, this office had one great advantage: the view. My window overlooked the pitch, where I could watch training. Meaning, I could watch Roy. When my window was cracked open, the way it always happened to be when the team was on the pitch, I could hear him screaming “Whistle!” and swearing at Jamie. Sometimes I’d just stand by the window and watch for a bit; that always managed to catch his eye, and I was always rewarded with a smirk and a wave from Roy, sometimes some teasing whistles from the team or a cheerful “Howdy!” from Ted.
After a bit more than a full season working upstairs, I found myself skipping from Higgins’s office to mine. We’d been pursuing a great young player out of Mexico, someone Dani had brought to our attention, and we’d finally signed him. And, despite my insistence that this was a team effort, I had been instrumental in making it happen. So, Keeley and Rebecca decided to take me out to a celebratory lunch, one that Rebecca informed me would take the rest of the afternoon and also required me to dress nice. Accordingly, I had worn heels and a springy little dress that had made Roy’s jaw drop with a soft “Whoa” that morning as we got ready for work. Seeing that man check me out still managed to make my heart flutter with delight.
After popping into Higgins’s office to let him know I was heading out, I went back to mine to open the window and shout down a quick goodbye to Roy. Instead, I found an empty pitch. Weird.
I figured they must have gone into the weight room or something, just a spontaneous change of plans. Par for the course with Ted in charge. So, I made my way downstairs, thinking I’d pop into Roy’s office to see if I could get a proper goodbye.
The changing room was eerily quiet, as was Ted and Beard’s office. I poked my head into Roy’s office, which I hated to admit looked empty since I’d moved upstairs. It was especially empty without Roy. With a small hmmf, I paused to glance over his desk, smiling when I glimpsed the picture of us that sat on his desk, a selfie in front of the Mona Lisa that he’d grumbled good-naturedly about.
“That’s a great picture of us.”
Roy stood in the doorway, kebab takeaway container in hand. He smiled and walked over to me, placing the Styrofoam box on his desk. He kissed my forehead sweetly and let his eyes trail over my face.
“Just wanted to say bye before I head to lunch,” I explained, giving his leather jacket a friendly tug. “You look nice, by the way. Interview today?”
He shrugged. “Just didn’t want to be in fucking workout clothes all day,” he mumbled. He nodded towards the takeaway box. “Got you somethin’.”
I frowned. “Kebabs? Roy, I told you I’ve got lunch plans with Keeley and Rebecca.”
“Open the box.”
I rolled my eyes. “Seriously, Roy, I’m gonna be late. Can’t you just toss these in the fridge, and I’ll eat them tonight? Or you can eat them. Or-”
“Just open the fucking box,” Roy said with a laugh, eyebrows raised. “Shit, you really never fucking shut up.”
Narrowing my eyes, I picked up the surprisingly light container. I glanced back at Roy, who nodded at me, encouraging me to open it. With a sigh I opened the lid. Instead of finding our usual lunch, there was a small, velvet box inside and a little orange sticky note that simply read:
To my future wife
XOXO Roy
I snapped my head up to look at Roy, whose smile had grown. Hands shaking slightly, I picked up the black box, letting the Styrofoam container plop back onto Roy’s desk. When I opened the little box, I gasped.
Inside was a diamond ring. It was simple, a small diamond, the exact kind I’d described to Keeley and Rebecca at our sleepover so long ago. I looked back up at Roy, whose eyes had that old anxiety swimming in them, alongside affection and tenderness.
“I’d get down on one knee, but, y’know,” he mumbled, offering up a bashful smile. He cleared his throat. “If I could go back to the first time I bought you kebabs for lunch, I’d have done this. Because every minute of not being married to you is a big fucking waste of time.”
My breath caught in my throat as I blinked back tears. “Roy,” I gasped, my eyes shifting back to the beautiful ring.
He reached over and took the ring out of the box and held it up to me. “What d’you say?” His voice was soft, tender, full of adoration to an extent I’d never heard. “Please say yes.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at the familiar phrase. “Yes.” I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips, my heart bursting at the feeling of his smile against mine.
To my surprise, he pulled back. “She fucking said yes!” he hollered, slipping the ring on my finger.
In an instant, every Greyhound player, along with Ted, Beard, Rebecca, Higgins, and Keeley, burst into the tiny office, shouting and cheering and hugging each other with even more joy than when they’d finished first. Someone- Dani and Colin and Sam, I presumed- started throwing confetti around the office while we were ambushed with hugs and kisses and congratulations.
Keeley and Rebecca smothered me in their arms, offering their own words of excitement and joy. I looked at them suspiciously.
“There was no lunch, was there?”
Rebecca scrunched her nose and shook her head. “Roy asked if we could find an excuse to dress you up,” she admitted, tears in her eyes.
Keeley, who was openly crying, held up her phone. “And a good thing! Look how fucking beautiful you look!” Sure enough, I looked gorgeous in the photos Keeley had managed to take of the proposal. But my eyes were drawn to Roy’s face and the absolute joy that could be seen there.
I felt someone grab my hand and tug; Roy smiled down at me as he pulled me close. “Did I do good?” he murmured. When I nodded, he grunted. “Good. I’m actually impressed that these muppets could keep a fucking secret.”
As he pulled me into a proper kiss, Jamie and Sam started a chant that everyone quickly joined in: “He’s here, he’s there, he’s gonna marry her! Roy Kent! Roy Kent!”
~
The night before the wedding, I packed a bag to go stay at my parents’ house, where Keeley, my maid of honor, insisted on having a sleepover so she could see the shrine, as my childhood bedroom was often called.
Her mouth widened into that Cheshire-cat grin as she took in all the posters. “Holy shit, it’s even better than I imagined!” she giggled, setting her things down. “You’re telling me that Roy saw this, and that’s what made him decide to kiss you?”
Sitting down on my bed, I chuckled. “I know. He must’ve really fucking liked me.”
Instead of joining me, Keeley meandered around my room, pointing out different posters and tittering at them. She turned to me, eyebrow cocked. “Alright. Which one is your absolute favorite?”
I bobbled my head, grinning. “Well, there’s always this one.” I pointed above me to the poster of a young Roy that my dad and I had argued over the placement of. I stood and skipped over to the closet. “Or this one.” Taped inside my closet was a picture of a shirtless Roy running, the one that I’d secretly ripped out of a magazine when I was sixteen and spent far too many hours drooling over.
Keeley howled with laughter at the sight of it. “Holy shit, no wonder you’re marrying him, he looks fit as fuck there. Has he seen this one?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely not,” I answered, joining in her snickering. “That’s the one secret I’m going to keep from my husband, thank you very much.”
We spent the rest of the night sitting on my bed, gabbing and giggling and sharing the champagne Keeley had packed in her overnight bag, until Keeley knocked out next to me. I gazed up at the ceiling, staring at Roy, unable to believe what my life had become. When I had put that poster up, I was a giggling young girl, fantasizing about what it would be like to meet the guy on the poster, the one who made me betray my family and watch Chelsea matches. And in mere hours, I’d be standing in front of that same man and marrying him.
Oh, if only my teenage self could see me now.
As excited as teenage me would be about marrying Roy freaking Kent (and the fact that we got to shag that gorgeous man), she’d be even more excited to find out that he was kind. And loving. And funny. And good with dogs and kids, despite himself. And that he loved The Sound of Music and reading. And that he was a damn good cook. And that he begrudgingly sang Spice Girls songs on road trips. And that he loved us.
Before I drifted off to sleep, I blew a kiss to the Roy on my ceiling, silently thanking him for his role in introducing me to the real Roy Kent.
~
My hands started to sweat as I heard the violins playing. Keeley had squeezed me tight and shoved my bouquet in my hands before walking down the aisle, where Roy stood with Jamie, who he’d asked to be best man through gritted teeth. After Keeley went Phoebe, in her poofy dress, who, at this point, was probably more excited about the wedding than anyone else.
As I took my position in front of the closed doors, my dad linked our arms, smiling at me with gentle pride. “You ready?” With my mouth insanely dry, all I could manage was a firm nod. “Roy Kent,” he clucked, shaking his head. “You’re really marrying Roy fucking Kent.” He kissed my cheek. “And more importantly, you’re marrying someone who loves you the way you deserve.”
“That I am,” I managed, taking a deep breath as the doors opened.
Roy’s eyes lit up the moment he saw me, just like I knew mine did at the sight of him. As a surprise, I’d asked the violinists to play the wedding march from The Sound of Music for my walk down the aisle; I could see the moment Roy realized it, because he threw his head back and rolled his eyes cheekily.
After my dad kissed my cheek and placed my hand on Roy’s, Roy leaned forward. “My fucking Maria,” he whispered, shaking his head.
“My Captain von Trapp,” I countered with a wink.
~
Rebecca had meant it as a joke when she offered to let us use the Dog Track as our reception venue. But Roy and I jumped at the offer, thinking it was fitting, considering how central A.F.C. Richmond was to our relationship. In the days leading up to our wedding day, we spent hours transforming the pitch into a proper party space, surpassing all of our expectations.
After allowing people to mingle with appetizers and drinks, Ted, who we’d allowed to play emcee for the night, called us forward for toasts. Roy sighed and rolled his eyes, more of a reflex than anything else, and gripped my hand tight as we walked to the stage that Keeley had managed to have brought in.
Roy took the microphone from Ted with a grunt and a curt nod. He let out a deep breath and brought the microphone to his mouth. “Right. So, for some reason, everyone thinks that prick over there is my best friend.” He pointed at Jamie, who stood up, looking prouder than when he was named Player of the Year. “But honestly, this right here is my best friend in the world.” He turned back to me, ignoring the offended scoff from Jamie. “From the moment I crashed her father’s birthday dinner, she’s become my very best friend.” He cleared his throat and gave his head a little nervous scratch. “So, most people who know us know the story of how we got together. Dad’s birthday dinner, posters in the childhood bedroom, secret relationship that apparently everyone at Nelson Road fucking knew about. But, I’ve never told anyone about how I was basically a fucking stalker before any of that.”
I looked over at Roy quizzically. He smirked and continued.
“See, I fancied her the fucking moment I met her. Like, Ted brought her into the office, and I couldn’t say a fucking word. I think I told her not to wear any rank perfume and then just slouched off.” Everyone gave out a light chuckle. “Then I bought her lunch, as a way to, I dunno, make conversation. And we sort of started chatting at work a bit after that. And then this one Friday night she leaves early. And Ted says that he forgot to give her some papers he’d wanted her to work on over the weekend, and he’s all ‘Oh well, she can get it Monday’. But me, being properly whipped at this point, I fucking say ‘I’ll take it to her’.”
My jaw fell slightly; this whole time, I had thought Ted must’ve begged or bribed Roy to bring me those papers. Had he really brought them just to see me?
“I made up some shit about how she told me whereabouts she lived and that it wasn’t too far from my place. And now, looking back, I don’t think he fucking believed me.”
“Nope!” Ted called out with a hearty laugh. “I knew you were in love!”
Roy playfully shot Ted his favorite gesture and continued. “So, I realized I had no clue where she lived. And I felt like an absolute wanker. But then I remembered, we were on some stupid Snapchat group with Ted.”
“You’re welcome!” Ted chimed in again.
Roy rolled his eyes. “And this gorgeous idiot had her location on. So, I did what any sane guy would do: I fucking stalked her. And I turned into fucking Hugh Grant in Love Actually and went knocking on every door in that neighborhood like a right idiot. Until finally, I knocked on a door and saw this beautiful face.” He smiled gently at me. “And I realized right then that I loved that face. And I wanted to see that face every day.” He leaned over and gave me a small kiss. “So, I just want to say, I fucking love you. And I am so happy that I get to see your face and buy you kebabs for the rest of my life.” He took the champagne flute that Ted was holding out to him. “To Mrs. Roy Kent.”
“Mrs. Roy Kent!” everyone repeated, clinking their glasses together and sipping their champagne.
I toasted with Roy and took the microphone he offered me. “All I can say,” I started as everyone quieted, “is that dreams really do come true, and sometimes you get to marry the guy on the poster.” Everyone gave a light chuckle before I went on. “Honestly, though. Anyone who knows me knows that I have had a monstrous crush on this beautiful man for years. Pretty much since the day he made his debut. My poor dad had to watch me put up posters of a Chelsea player on my walls. Best day of his life was when Roy Kent came to Richmond, because it finally meant me putting up Greyhound posters.”
My dad’s laugh was the loudest of all.
“But I realized that today I’m not marrying some guy on a poster.” I turned to Roy and looked into his eyes. “Today I’m marrying Roy. The fit guy I met at work who cooks and who is a wonderful uncle and who loves Dan Brown novels and makes me happy.” I knew my smile was big and silly as I gazed at him. “When I met you, it was a dream come true, getting to know my big celebrity crush. But now, the life I’m living is better than any dream. And I love you for that. I absolutely love you.” I leaned over and planted a heated kiss on his lips, eliciting wolf-whistles from the Greyhounds. Blushing, I raised my glass. “To Roy!”
“To Roy!” came the echo, amidst cheers and sips of champagne.
Rot was relieved when the toasts were over (especially Jamie’s surprisingly tearful speech). We went through the rest of the motions- first dance, dinner, cutting the cake- and finally came to the part of the evening we were most looking forward to: the party. We danced with our friends and drank, reveling in the joy we all shared.
I was enjoying a dance with Beard when Roy grabbed my hand, saying he needed to show me something.
“Roy, can’t you wait until we leave for our honeymoon?” I teased as he led me away from the dance floor.
He rolled his eyes. “Sometimes I think you talk so fucking much just so I kiss you to try to shut you up,” he quipped.
We came to a stop at the edge of the party, where a flat wrapped package sat alone. I stared at Roy quizzically as he picked it up and handed it to me.
“I think your office can use some more décor,” he started slowly. “Especially because I heard some rumors about Higgins thinking about early retirement.”
I sighed and bit back a smile. “There has been talk,” I admitted. “Nothing set in stone, but I am definitely in the running to eventually become the D.F.O. once Higgins is ready to hand over the reins.” I gestured to whatever it was I held in my hands. “But what’s this?”
He bobbled his head. “Wedding gift. For your office. I’ve owed you this for a while now.”
My curiosity growing, I quickly opened the gift, letting the paper fall to the floor. It was something in a frame. I turned it over and threw my head back when I saw it.
It was the poster from my ceiling, the one Roy and I sat under when we kissed for the first time, only now it was framed. And more importantly, autographed.
“You’re an arsehole,” I laughed, cupping Roy’s cheek and pressing a kiss to his lips. “And I fucking love it.”
He shrugged, taking the poster from my hands and laying it down so he could hold me, leaning his forehead to mine. “Told you I’d autograph it for you,” he mumbled before peppering kisses all over my face. “I think it’ll look fucking great in your office, don’t you?”
I laughed and nodded. “Even if I don’t become D.F.O., I’ll still have the best office decorations in the building.”
Roy pulled back, studying my face carefully. “Fuck that. You’re going to get it.” He kissed me again. “After all, you’re a fucking superstar.”
I let out a small huff, embarrassed by the praise. “Roy-”
“Don’t you ever stop talking?”
And with that, he shut me up in the best way he knew how.
~
Taglist: @optimisticsandwichgladiator @giggling-sewer-ginger @katdahlali @sonyume @djarindroid @reading-blogs @thezimi @benedictscanvasmain @wibblywobblyvampywolfystuff @puckyou-forpuckssake @old-enough-to-know-better73 @ladygrey03 @soundofboots @justsomefunshit @geekgirl1996 @tedssweaters @queen-of-dumbasses @miaalltheway @di-essere-amato @shakespeareanwannabe @hotdoglamp @mal-adaptive-dreams @allthetroubleiveseen @netflix-addict @callmecasey81 @forgetmeaway @royalestrellas @kingleahhh @lemoonandlestars @ghxxxf @jill2629-blog @sunderland-6 @janalustare @ellouisa17
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penaltyboxboxbox · 4 months
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whats stopping you from posting your omegaverse headcanons my king……do it
truly what is stopping me....ok my omegaverse assignments under the damn cut and honestly thank you to @wewentcarracing my fellow scholar who's own research has DEFINITELY influenced my own
Charles: this bitch is an omega. everyone is in love with him and he smells so good and is distracting to everyone in the damn room. we're going to question his abilities because of it too he will face anti-omega media bias despite the achievements of other omega drivers all of charles mishaps are blamed on the fact hes an omega
Carlos: alpha idc what you contradictory parties wanna say hes a big hairy alpha and hes proud of it. but hes like pretty well managed and likes to act like hes a lot more...idk wild during his ruts and stuff but like in all reality he keeps it together very well but just uses being an alpha as an excuse to hoe around.............is not mated to charles but like wants to be soooooo badly and like the way charles plays around it constantly makes him insanely whipped . as he fucking said it himself he wants to bite charles and has to control himself. ok.
Pierre: i cant decide honestly like sometimes i want him to be an alpha who has no self control and sometimes i want him to be a very ashamed omega. depends on the day and also what i'm assigning for esteban....
Esteban: He is either a beta or a really lame alpha..............i like him being an alpha making him super protective of lance but like THEY DONT LIKE EACH OTHER THAT WAY but like. maybe a little a esteban just too polite to lance to say anything. teehee. omega pierre x beta esteban is goated also. just saying.
Lance: OMEGA.............uses this as an excuse to always be laying down and being sweet and asking people to do things for him :) and they always do. also he has the most sweaty disheveled unwell heats ever and just generally reeks of maple syrup and pancakes
Fernando: alpha and he wont let you forget it. he stank. hes freaky. yeah. talks about it TOO openly. everyones had a taste too like can you blame them. guy who is also like slobbering all over lances neck in public theyre gross about it
George: I loooove George as an alpha who really dislikes the loss of control aspect of alphadom. As the wise sadie one said, george thinks being an alpha is terribly gauche. at the same time has his own cockiness about the fact he IS an alpha like he has his moments there......using his alpha privilege when it suits him but hating it when its not something he can use to his advantage or that might make him act a fool
Lewis: Beta who lets people believe he's an Alpha whos just so mentally in the zone and turbo vegan that he is able to remain in complete control of his urges and emotions. Gets testy when questioned about it its NONE of their business. Definitely does in fact really really want to be an alpha. (nico an omega btw just add this to my brocedes narrative)
Yuki: Alpha and proud of it. He's like writing alpha specific instagram captions.
Daniel: This man is THE beta ok. used to be self deprecating about it but now just embraces it. hes the beta they brought into the enclosure to keep max from becoming insane.
Max: an omega but like. weirdly ravenous one. he is breaking down omega stereotypes but like he's not even trying he's just a weirdo.
Checo: also an omega but hes like a tragically lame one when in heat. like this man is the king of the pathetic heat he wants to be led around by the hand and makes everyone around him feel bad for him. smells like orchids and carnations.
Valtteri: beta who is literally just chilling
Guanyu: reverse lewis, alpha who everyone thinks is a beta and he just lets them, doesn't want people prying into that part of his life. does not have a complex about being an alpha though and being around val keeps him w a cool head yk
Alex: Alpha.......knows he's a good one too like too aware that he'll get the job done and WELL definitely more than a little cocky about it and thinks he generally like. deals with himself well doesn't THINK he lets it get to his head as much as it does. HUGE flirt w like any omega.
Logan: Omega like what do you want me to say he spends every moment wiggling and whimpering and blushing like......hes an omega. he smells like he smells like fresh cut citrus and seawater 🫶😔
Lando: he's an omega but he smells offputting he smells like burnt sugar and monster energy. was like convinced mind body and soul he and carlos were a THING until the chussy lured carlos away and now lando is stuck being a little weird about it for all time he cant quite click w someone else and hes a weird mean little tease because of it
Oscar: Alpha who is soooooooooo incredibly chill about it. You wanna hop on my dick? ah. ok i guess. have at it. like this guy is not pressed about any of this shit
KMag: alpha but i have no strong opinion here i just think hes normal
Nico: alpha who smells terrible to every omega ever and can never find a rut partner and yearns for the hole but he just cant win
bonus seb cause i can: seb is an alpha..obvs w charles duh but ALSO was a freakish little alpha in his younger days who got off on being gross and contradictory + wonderful truly paired with beta mark with his absolutely massive complex about being a beta and snaps at anyone who tries to bring it up in regards to his behavior etc etc etc hotheaded beta and evil twink alpha who goads him about oh fuck me all you want youll never be MEEEEE oh i need it actually. anyways
THANKS FOR READING 🫶
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verysium · 4 months
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some hcs abt the bllk boys doing modeling shoots as pro-players? (like what they’d model for and the ways they captivate their audiences and stuff)? ty and love ur works btw 💞💞🫡
idk why but this ask made my brain freeze up and refuse to write anything for 3 days, so apologies if this is late anon:
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sae would be so done. i mean....he walked out on a literal interview, so what makes you think he won't walk out on a photoshoot? he probably hates the very idea of plastering his face all over billboards and magazines. but his manager said that he was in desperate need of good publicity, especially after that stunt he pulled with the last commercial endorsement. if sae was forced to model though, he'd definitely be as stiff as a board. no facial expressions whatsoever and always sticks to one pose. oftentimes, this involves him facing the wall and only showing half his face. if the photographer wants a full frontal, he's going to have to deal with sae's "i don't want to be here and i'm being held hostage" face. even if sae does try smiling, it looks more like a grimace. the only redeeming quality here is that he is good-looking. if you look at the official art, he doesn't even have to try to get all of you drooling over him. that face card does not decline. like ever. so the shoots usually wrap up pretty quickly because out of the 100 images taken, at least half are going to be usable. he's photogenic from any angle.
kaiser would strike a pose for everything, even his own mugshot. i picture him as that one johnny depp advertisement for dior sauvage. blue lighting. a silk blouse with the top button open to show off a sliver of his sculpted chest. his hair is slicked back with gel, and his knuckles are decorated with silver rings. the tattoo just pulls everything together. if not a perfume commercial, then i think he'd model for adidas or some other german brand (maybe even a beer company if he's old enough). i don't think he has any trouble with the actual modeling part of process. he knows how to flaunt himself. the only issue is that kaiser is a lazy perfectionist. he would show up late to the shoots and then stays even later just looking through the shots and choosing which ones to include. puts a lot of time and effort into things like this. after all, his image and his brand are important to him.
shidou would be sponsored by an energy drink brand. like red bull or monster. if not that, then axe body spray lol. as for modeling, i feel like he wouldn't be able to sit still. probably pulls out crazy poses that piss the photographers off on purpose. it always cracks me up how one of his first appearances in the manga is him being muzzled and restrained in a straitjacket inside blue lock's time-out zone. he's so chaotic. you would have to hold him down and shove the camera into his face to actually get a good shot. i also picture him wearing lots of black leather, maybe even silver jewelry (eg. studs, piercings). and of course, you can't forget the hot pink accents.
isagi would model for family-friendly brands. if not that, then just japanese brands in general. i imagine him doing skincare commercials for shiseido or maybe even participating in a campaign for UNIQLO. as for modeling, he would be awkward at first but then gradually get the hang of it. always thanks the team afterwards and is very mindful of the photographer's suggestions. everyone says he is a pleasure to work with.
rin would model for luxury watch brands like TAG heuer or IWC. maybe when he grows older and further develops his career, he might even become an ambassador for louis vuitton or bulgari. overall, his advertisements are very elegant and professional. only endorses high quality products. never looks at the shots afterwards because he hates looking at his own face. gets somewhat embarrassed when his mama points out his billboards and makes clippings of his magazine covers. he absolutely flipped when a brand suggested that he do a collaboration with his brother. so when this collaboration actually did take place, it was like a repeat of the whole messi-ronaldo photoshoot. they didn't actually meet on set. they were just photoshopped together into the same frame.
barou models for calvin klein. lots of denim and shirtless photos. all of the staff got nosebleeds, and his fanbase went wild when the issue was finally released. there's this one image his fans worship religiously where he's posing in his boxers and there's a clear shot of his abs and happy trail. (he's so hot wtf) there's also another shot that wasn't used cus a million people would've been deceased. he's standing there with his thumbs in the belt loops of his jeans and wearing nothing underneath his denim jacket. his hair is also down, and his skin is all sun-kissed and golden.
reo models streetwear, and this is canon because he has the drip. honestly, his duality needs to be studied because he can go from high class gentleman to bad boy who wears chains and knuckle rings. he'd try all different sorts of styles, and he'd look good doing it. out of all the bllk boys, i feel like reo gets the most sponsorship deals because of his versatility. he does the styling, hair, makeup, posing, editing, etc. honestly, they need to hire him as a creative director already. nagi would tag along behind the scenes, but he'd end up scrolling on his phone the entire day.
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hotchfiles · 4 months
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hiii !! i’m here to req no. 14 from the prompt list + james ( literally bc i can just imagine sirius telling them to kiss and make up ) 💘💘
send me one of my boys + a prompt
james + reader ⋆ "can you both just kiss and make up-" both of them: "SIRIUS"
there were things everyone in hogwarts knew. some of them where: you and james were extremely competitive, the sorest of losers, partners in crime? yes, but stubborn from the biggest to the smallest bone you both had. having you both playing for the quidditch team was a blessing for gryffindor. and also a curse. a blessing because it meant the red and golden lions had never won so many matches in a row. a curse because you were both insufferable during quidditch practice and even worse than that, sharing dorms and common areas with the both of you after a losing match? hell. literally.
"told'ya that stupid strategy wouldn't work," james' hands go through his hair, exasperated by the terrible beating slytherin had done to the team's score, and to his self esteem. "but nooo, you're always miss right." his face twisting in a mocking expression. "didn't work 'cause you didn't do your bloody part, potter." you're just as frustrated, arms flailing around, the game ended hours ago, this is the fourth or fifth time you both are discussing this exact same point. the common room getting emptier and emptier each time, leaving only you both, sirius, remus, peter and lily, as your friends they were morally compelled to stay and keep you both from each other's throats. both your wands already perfectly secure in remus' pockets to avoid any disappearance of brows or cutting of hair. exhausting really, dealing with you two was becoming exhausting, especially because you were both very easy going people with everyone else. james was a charmer, you were always a delight. it was fascinating how irritating both of you became in situations like these, how easy it was to get you both riled up because of the other. so it clicked to everyone, but you two, apparently, that you simply had feelings for each other. none of you knew how to react upon those, so you bottled it up and when james made something stupid it got you so mad because the feelings you had for him were all intense, all or nothing, no middle ground. and it was the same for him. best friends who had so much in common and loved doing most of it together, who made each other laugh, and helped each other when things got bad. and then suddenly, a screaming match. quidditch strategies, blaming each other for some prank, arguing about the right answer to a test, it was the stupid way you two found to actually feel and deal with the strength of your emotions. lily and remus leave while the argument went from the yelling to the huffing, both claiming to need tea if they were going to endure all that for longer. peter debates staying for a while, he actually had plans with james for the day, but as soon as the yelling gains speed again, he knows those are gone and gives up, leaving only james, you and sirius and the thick weight of the horrible mood the room was filled with. "i won't be doing idiotic stuff on the field just 'cause you want me to, honey." james keeps the nickname, not matter how mad he gets, but there's nothing sweet on his tone. and you want to reply, you really do, you want to say he's the only idiot, that you lost because of him, but instead you suddenly feel a strong push on the back of your head, making you and james touch foreheads. "can you both just please kiss and make up already." sirius isn't even joking, he sounds tired, his hands still holding both of your heads as you and james yelled his name, shocked he would even dare to say such thing. why would james ever want to kiss you? or you kiss him? just because you enjoyed having him around and he made you heart feel a bit weak and you wanted him to validate how smart you are? just because james always got your favorite treats from honeydukes, always asked his dad to make you cosmetic potions if you wanted, and he would always have a spare scarf and gloves when you forgot yours? and the ball finally fucking dropped for you both. you saw it in his eyes as he saw it in your tiny grin, but oh, you were not going to give this so easy to sirius, so you just crossed your arms over your chest, scoffed loudly and went straight to your dorm. sirius was happy to get you both to shut up at least. and he did find out a month later that when he was napping on the common room couch, james went to your dorm and did kiss you, and that was probably why all arguments had turned into just light banter, with flirty laughs and touches. james did have to learn to accept you were mostly always right, but he gained a gorgeous girlfriend, an infinite supply of kisses and the hottest make out sessions, so he got over it pretty quickly.
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familyvideostevie · 4 months
Text
living high until that fatal day
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a/n: i never do this. literally, never. when i'm not here i'm writing stuff that's not x reader for ao3 and this is a fic i posted over there. it's a time loop story about joel and ellie. @bageldaddy told me i had to post it here. without her this fic would not exist. thank you so much, bea. so, here we go. if you read it, thank you. let me know what you think. joel miller & ellie williams gen fic. 7.5k words warnings: Time Loop, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, kind of???, it resolves, Suicide, only in one of the loops!, Canon-Typical Violence, joel gets stuck and has to figure it out, Father-Daughter Relationship, thoughts about sacrifice and love, POV Joel, mostly, this one is kind of intense folks, major character death tag is cause well the loop ends one way or another, gonna diverge at the end, but it ends well!!! i promise, also this is pretty firmly game but hbo folks should be okay!
summary: joel finds himself stuck in a time loop of that day in salt lake city.
Joel lies to her. 
He's got dried blood under his fingernails and his shoulder aches from the kick of the rifle and he's so, so tired. 
But he lies to her. 
If he was a smarter man he'd have thought of something better. Told her that the hospital got raided or they had a FEDRA mole, how the whole thing was a sham from the start. He doesn't know if she was awake for any of it. If the last thing she remembers is him reaching for her and failing to save her. If she remembers what it feels like to drown. 
It's hard to look at her in the mirror but he manages. Just keep driving, hands tight on the wheel. Don't white knuckle, don't spook her. She's in the car. She's safe. He did it. 
"We found the Fireflies," he says. She doesn't look at him. "Turns out there's a...a whole lot more like you, Ellie. People that're immune. It's dozens, actually." 
There's a strange pull in his gut, a pull that he's felt a few times before in the moments before everything went south. When the soldier pointed his gun by the river, when Tess looked at him on her last day, when he fell off the ledge in Colorado. But he ignores it. 
"Ain't done a damn bit of good, either. They've actually st--" Ellie closes her eyes, takes a deep breath. She doesn't look at him. "They've stopped looking for a cure. I'm takin' us home. I'm sorry."
She turns her back to him and the pull becomes a burn, becomes a black hole under his ribcage taking everything with him. He blinks once, twice, wonders if he got shot and didn't notice, if he cracked a rib and it punctured his lung, if --
The road in front of him disappears. 
He can't see a damn thing -- not like the lights went out, like there is nothing to see. There is nothing in front of him at all.
Then, Joel wakes up yesterday. 
___ 
He jolts awake with a strangled yell. Ellie kneels over him, the rifle he taught her to hold slung over her shoulder. It's just past dawn based on the color of the sky and how he can make out most of her face, her withdrawing hand and her unimpressed but slightly concerned frown. 
"You were talking again," Ellie says. "Nightmares?" 
Joel tears his eyes from her and thunks his head back down on his crumpled up jacket. The trees stretch high above him and he tries to get it together so he doesn't spook her. 
They’re camped within sight of the highway. Salt Lake City has been looming for days now and Joel doesn't want to take any chances. The ring-road is almost clear, dotted here and there with cars and a fair amount of supplies, enough that Joel suspects people haven't been here for some time. If this is another Colorado State situation, he's going to have to put Ellie in a car and take them back to Jackson before she does something stupid.
She's fine. Well, no, not quite. Things aren't the same and they never will be but he can tell she's doing her best and he won't ask more than that. Their pace has slowed this week and he's having a hard time figuring out if she's sliding back into some sort of post-Colorado haze or if she's nervous about actually arriving in Salt Lake. 
God knows he's nervous as hell.
But every day she'll walk as far as he tells her to and won't complain. He knows she wants to get there. They have to get there and it has to work -- because he doesn't know what they're going to do otherwise. 
She asked him a question. Nightmares. Joel sits up and drags his hand down his face.
"Somethin' like that."
Ellie shrugs and starts to clean up their camp now that he's awake. He still hates letting her take watch, but she needs to feel in control of things, so they split it most nights. She hums a little bit as she works and he has hopes that today might be a good day.
But that dream... It comes back in flashes: the giraffes, the tunnel. Ellie hanging from the side of the bus because she jumped to save him, her small frame sinking slowly, just out of reach. The crack of her ribs underneath his hands. The hospital. The Fireflies.
Joel gets up, rolls his shoulder at a phantom pain and looks down at his hands. Crusted with dirt and nothing more. 
Jesus Christ. He's losing it. 
They set off. 
The blue hospital sign seems to shine in the spring sun all too soon.
"This is where we get off. Let's go, kiddo."
Joel talks even though he knows she's not listening. He talks to take his mind off of the echo that sits at the base of his neck with every step. Has he told her he'll teach her guitar before? He's been thinking it for months. 
Ellie trails behind him, kicking rocks and half-heartedly searching cars when he asks her to. She heads for a faded blue sedan but he stops her. 
"Blue one won't open, don't bother." 
The look she gives him makes him think about what he just said. "How do you know that?"
He blinks. How does he know that? Before he can explain it, Ellie shrugs and keeps walking. 
The disinterest is new and it doesn't sit well with him. She's been through a lot, more than any kid deserves, and they're almost there. He figures it's worse today because of that. 
"I dreamt about flying the other night."
Joel's stomach twists. "Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Go on, tell me about it."
She tells him about her dream, about how it felt to fly and then fall, and he is dizzy with deja vu. 
"I've never been on a plane." Ellie looks at him like he can tell her what it means. Like he has any damn answers at all. "Isn't that weird?"
Joel hums and swallows the lump in his throat. The bus terminal. Ellie, drowning. Firefly after Firefly in his path. His hands flex around a gun that isn't there. 
"Well, you know. Dreams are weird." It tastes like a lie in his mouth but he can't figure out why. 
It gets worse when they find the bus station, when she runs off in search of something that's got her smiling. Her small hand reaches for the giraffe, her eyes bright, but Joel feels like he's watching it through a fog. He knows what she's going to say before she says it. 
"So fucking cool."
Joel has seen a lot of weird shit in his life but whatever is happening here is leagues above the rest. It bumps up against something in his brain, like the answer is just out of reach but he can't fucking get there. Always a step behind when it counts. 
Ellie hands him a picture of his dead daughter and something in him comes dangerously close to snapping. Instead of gratitude or sorrow or anything that would make sense, he's terrified. 
He's fucking terrified because this happened. Which means he knows what comes next. 
But there's no time to worry about it. They pick their way through the tunnel, through the runners and the clickers and the fucking bloaters. The pressure on his neck gets heavier, gets almost unbearable. He's strung tighter than he's been in years, like the walls are closing in on him and there's a timer he can't see. 
When they get to the rapids, he waits for Ellie to get to the other side of the bus until he jumps on it but it dislodges. The dam in his head breaks and he yells, screams at her to run, to leave him, but she jumps on the bus anyway. 
She drowns.
Joel doesn't doubt that the Fireflies are coming -- he hears them --  but he doesn't take his eyes off of her, doesn't stop the chest compressions until he's knocked out.
The rest of it is a blur, his sense of reality already warped by his need to get to the operating room. To save her. 
Joel picks them off one by one, floor by floor, hardly taking note of how familiar it all feels. He doesn't even give the surgeon a chance to speak before he's dead, a bullet between the eyes. He knows they'll make it to the elevator. He kills Marlene. He drives them away.
He lies. 
He wakes up yesterday again.
___
It takes a few days before Joel purposely deviates from what he's thinking of as the script. His head feels like it weighs a thousand pounds when he wakes in the clearing, Ellie's eyes on him.
He thinks about it as they pack up camp. Can he get them out of here? Would that be allowed? The rules of this aren't clear to him but he figures it can't hurt to try. They could turn around right now and make it back to Jackson in a week or so. 
He watches Ellie carefully arrange her things in her bag, watches her stop to admire a butterfly in the branches above. He watches her and tries to see her alive and not pale on an operating table. 
"Ellie," he says. "I got a bad feelin' about this."
She loves to tell him he's overreacting but today she crosses her arms and sits back on her heels. "What do you mean?"
Her scream as she falls into the water. Her ribs cracking beneath his hands. The piercing alarm in the hospital, her body warm but limp in his arms.
"What if we waited?" She frowns but he keeps going. "Went back to Jackson, rested up. Took a break. Come back in a few months with a bit of a crew. Tommy'll give us some guys, hell, I bet he'll come with if you want --"
"No," Ellie says sharply. There's an edge to her voice he hasn't heard in a long time. "Joel, shut up."
"Ellie --"
She stands abruptly, takes a few steps back. "I said no."  The look on her face tells Joel he's already lost. "Are you -- are you fucking kidding me? You want to go back? Now?"
He sighs. "Just to rest up. We don't know what we're walking into --"
Ellie throws her hands around in disbelief. Her eyes look wet. Christ, he's made her cry again. He promised himself he wouldn't do that. 
"We don't know if they'll still be there."
"We don't know if they are there."
"And we won't find out if we fucking run away like cowards!"
Joel stands. "I don't want another Colorado State situation, Ellie --" Her face shutters. Mistake. 
"Don't bring up Colorado," she growls. "You don't know what that was like." 
Damn right he doesn't. He knows by now what happened but he'll never know how hard it was for her to survive when he was busy dying on that mattress. But he has to try something or they'll just end up here again tomorrow. Yesterday. Whatever. 
The idea of her suffering makes his hackles rise, makes his blood run cold
"Can I finish a god damned sentence?" he snaps. Ellie is undeterred and snaps back.
"Not if it's going to be about leaving. We-- I -- we're not fucking leaving. Not after everything. We can't."
Joel sighs and drags a hand down his face. This girl. He's trying to save her and she can't see it. There's no way to make her see it and it's his fault. She should know by now that he'd do anything, anything, for her. He lost that battle a long time ago, probably longer ago than he'd like to admit. 
"I know," he tells her. "Just...if you want to give it all up, to go back, we can. We don't have to go through with this."
Ellie's eyes are blazing and her tone is disappointed. It cuts deep. "Yes we do. I thought you'd understand that, Joel."
He follows her this time as she stalks down the highway towards the hospital. No mention of six strings, no dreams about planes. They catch the giraffes but she doesn't stick around to watch them for as long. It's a different kind of loss to be without her smile, her laughter. Joel wishes he'd never opened his god damned mouth. 
"I'm sorry," he says. "For earlier." Ellie pauses on the stairs and half turns to look up at him. "I know it's important to you."
She sighs. "I know you mean well." Joel closes his eyes. He knows what comes next. "But there's no halfway with this. Once we're done, we'll go wherever you want, okay?"
He plays his part for the rest of the day, just to get it over with. 
___
Next time, Joel waits until they're watching the giraffes to try something different. 
"So," he says. "This everything you were hoping for?"
Ellie gives him her half-smile. "It's got its ups and downs, but...you can't deny that view, though."
He seizes his chance. "Wanna go down there?" 
She perks up. "Really? Do you think they'll let us get close?"
"They might. Let's try." 
They manage to backtrack a little bit and end up on the field. It smells like a zoo but Ellie is thrilled to be so close so they post up on the roof of a rusty FEDRA Jeep. Two of the giraffes end up eating out of the tree right above them. Ellie holds her breath. 
"They just...don't care, do they?" she whispers. "How long do you think they've been here?"
She leans into his side and cranes her neck to watch one of them use its tongue. 
"Don't know," he says. "Big ones could've been from before. But the tiny one s'probably younger than you."
"So cool," she says again. "They're from a zoo, right? I wonder if anything else lives in the city."
They've been sitting here long enough that the sun has started to set. Joel allows himself to hope. 
"Might be. What do you say we spend the night here and look on the way to the hospital tomorrow? Daylight'll do us better."
Ellie chews on his suggestion. "I guess," she says. "Are we safe here?"
"Should be." Joel has no idea, frankly. He sure as hell wants them to wake up here in the morning. He wants to make good on this idea, wants to show her something else that'll make her smile. He wants this to be a bizarre, unexplainable day that he'll forget about with time.
"I'll keep watch."
They set up camp crowded against the fence so Joel can see the whole field. The giraffes leave them alone and Ellie falls asleep quickly after they eat.
In the quiet open air the dread in his gut returns full-force and he knows he's wrong. Again.
A branch cracks and he whirls around, rifle in hand to find three men pointing their guns at him through the wire. They might be wearing Firefly jackets but he can't tell. He doesn't care. Joel dares to look at Ellie for a second and sees she's still asleep. 
It's a mistake.
One of them follows his gaze and his eyes widen.
"Holy shit," he whispers. "She looks like who Marlene said --"
"Shut up," the second one hisses. "On the ground, old man."
"How are you gonna get around that fence, hotshot?" he says. "Ellie. Ellie, wake up."
She blinks a few times and sees his stance. scrambling to her feet with her knife in hand.
"Holy shit. What the fuck?"
"Get behind me."
One of the soldiers points his gun at her. 
"Don't move."
It's chaos after that. The guys shout at each other. 
"Don't point it at her! Don't you remember the fucking briefing?"
"You hadn't even joined when we got here, you don't know. We've been looking for her for months --"
"If you shoot her we're all dead --"
Joel locks eyes with Ellie.
"When I say run, you run. Okay?" 
The fear in her eyes turns to determination. Brave girl, he thinks. I'm sorry. He waits for the idiot pointing at her to look away and takes a deep breath. What's one more day?
"Run!"
Joel doesn't check to see if she obeys before firing through the fence. The rifle is incredibly powerful at such a short range and where there was once a head there's only mist. Joel clears the chamber as fast as he can and gets the second one in the shoulder but he's not fast enough for a third and before he realizes it he's on his back in the grass. 
The Firefly's assault rifle litters Joel's chest with bullets but he doesn't feel it until he tries to take a breath and nothing comes. It's like he's underwater.
At least he didn't make her cry this time.
__
Joel isn't much of a believer in anything but he decides fairly quickly that he's in Hell or something close. God knows he deserves it. 
His sins are countless, his ledger dripping with red just like his hands. They will never be clean. What he can't figure out is how he got here. Did he die somewhere in St. Mary's? Is the real world somewhere else beyond his reach, now? If he died then what happened to Ellie?
He tries to make tallies in the bark of a tree on the edge of camp but they disappear every time he wakes up. He makes do with his own slowly unspooling brain. Two, five, ten.
Ellie is much the same every time but somewhere around day twenty she asks him about it. "How do you know where everything is?"
They're in the bus depot before the tunnel. He's taking them quickly around the tents, putting off Ellie handing him a photo of his dead daughter. It's muscle memory at this point. A pair of pliers here, some rags there. A half-empty but uncracked bottle of hooch behind that blood-stained bed, some bullets under that overturned partition. 
"Just payin' attention."
"I pay attention!"
Joel uses the excuse to grin at her. It's hard sometimes to remember that she has no idea what's coming, that he can and should be good to her every chance he gets. The violence has already started to blur together in his mind. Killing everyone in the hospital is by far the easiest part of this fucking loop. These parts are harder. 
"Didn't say you don't."
"I feel like that was a double negative."
She's still energized from the giraffes and he knows she's working up the courage to talk about Sarah, but right now he wants to spend time with her. He spots the Firefly medal tangled in the shattered floodlight and points it out. 
"Ellie," he says. She's at his side in seconds, looking up at him with eyes brighter than he's seen in weeks. "Wanna get that down?"
She gives him her classic why are you like this look. "Are you going to be weird and pick it up?"
Joel shrugs and leans on the rotting tank nearby. "Just want to check your aim."
"My aim is really fucking good and you know it!" Even so, she picks up a brick from her feet and palms it, eyeing the silver circle before winding her arm back and hurling the brick towards it. 
She misses. Maybe three hundred miles and a trail of dead bodies ago she'd have stormed off, embarrassed and pissed. But she just makes a face at the still-swinging medal and then looks at him. "How did I miss that?"
He pushes off the tank and scoops up a glass bottle. "Sun s'probably in your eyes." Joel stands next to her and eyes the target, trying to compensate in his mind for her height. "Stand here." Ellie moves over in front of him and he hovers his arm over her. "Can I?"
She nods. Joel presses the bottle into her hand and she takes it as he maneuvers her with a hand on her elbow until she's got the trajectory he thinks will work. 
"Now?" she asks. "Feels pretty fucking similar to what I was doing."
"Just trust me. Throw a little lighter than last time. And higher."
Ellie sighs, but once he steps back she does as he says and nails the medal hard enough that it drops to the ground. She whoops and turns around, hands high in the air and a wide smile on her face. Joel tries to breathe through how easily she puts her faith in him. 
"Fuck yeah! Did you see that?" She holds both hands out for a high five and he obliges. 
"Sure did. Nice job, kiddo."
When Ellie hands him the picture of Sarah, he pulls her in for a hug. He half expects her to shove him off but instead she allows it, twisting her hands in his shirt as he cups the back of her head. 
"Thank you," Joel says quietly, thickly. 
Later, when he finds her on the operating table, he presses his lips to her forehead for an extra moment before picking her up and heading for the elevator. 
__
He messes with the order of things a little bit. Tries to make their morning last longer, tries to stay watching the giraffes for an hour or so. 
Sometimes it works. 
Sometimes it doesn't. 
Watching Ellie drown over and over fucks with his head more than the hospital does because he can't stop it. At least while he's leaving behind corpse after corpse he knows that she's asleep upstairs, waiting for him. In the tunnel, he knows that the only way out is through, but she has to fucking drown first. 
He gets sloppy. 
He forgets about the runners in the side rooms when he ducks in to avoid a clicker and takes a step too close. Ellie is behind him as always and he shoves her back blindly as three runners slam him against the metal railing of the stairs before he can reach for his gun. He's too surprised to feel anything, but their breath smells like rotting meat and something worse, something that makes his eyes water. 
Joel searches the room for her and finds her -- pale-faced and terrified, already reaching for her knife. He tries to say her name but it comes out as a scream when one of the runners goes for his shoulder, jagged teeth ripping through his shirt in an instant. 
"Ellie -- run, Ellie -- GO --" He begs her to leave him but his voice stops working as his throat is ripped out. The last thing he sees is her horrified face as she raises her pistol.
And then he wakes up yesterday. 
___
It occurs to him on day 30 -- if he's keeping track accurately -- that he's got one of the smartest people he knows at his disposal. Kid's got an encyclopedic knowledge of space as well as science fiction stories. He asks her while they're still on the highway, stalling though he can see the blue H sign from here.
"Y'ever read stuff about time?" No reply. "Ellie?" She's staring at that deer again. "Ellie."
"What?" 
"You read any stories about time back in school?"
"Uh, sure," she says. She tugs her sleeves over her hands and catches up to him, eyes on the ground. "Why?"
"Saw a weird movie 'bout it once. Somethin' reminded me of it this mornin'. Guy gets stuck in a...shit, what did they call it?" Joel peeks inside an RV and smells rot so he leaves it be. "He lives the same day over and over."
"A time loop!" Ellie sounds more excited about this than anything they've talked about for days. "Those are so fucking cool. Scary, though. I feel like I'd go crazy."
Joel drags a hand down his face. "Yeah," he says. "How do you think you get outta one?"
"Well, how did the guy in the movie do it?"
"He stopped bein' an asshole," he says. Ellie laughs. 
"Well, we know that's not possible for you. Guess you're fucked."
"Guess so," he mutters. 
The H sign is close enough that she'll see it any minute. He wishes for the hundredth time that they could just stay out here all day, just talking. If he had a guitar he'd play for her. If he had a fucking car he'd put her in it and turn around, even though it wouldn't do any good. They'd just end up right back here because he can't fucking figure out how to get out of this. 
"I think you just have to change, right?" Ellie says. She's looking at the photo of an airplane on the bus. This time she doesn't tell him about her dream. Is he losing pieces of her, already? "I guess it doesn't have to be about yourself. Maybe something you do, or something you say. It's the universe telling you to make a different choice, right?"
That's the fucking thing. The choice isn't an option. It's not even a choice. 
The one thing he hasn't tried and will not try is leaving the hospital when Marlene tells him to. He'd rather die a thousand times, rather live this shit show over and over for the rest of eternity than let them cut her brain out. They will not touch her while there is still breath in his body. 
He'd do it all over again. He will.
__
Joel tries a hundred things and they don't work. 
After his conversation with Ellie he decides to really fuck with the day. Doesn't matter, right? So long as she's not put in any extra danger he considers it. He begs her to walk away, get on his knees and pleads with her throughout the day. Doesn't work. She just gets pissed at him like that first time and he doesn't push it because he can't bear to see her cry. He lengthens their morning in the clearing, fakes sick or says the rifle is jammed and needs cleaning. That goes south, too, when a pack of runners wanders through the woods and straight into them. They make it to the highway and have to miss the giraffes because they're running. 
One time Joel spends all day zig-zagging them around the city to avoid the tunnel. The Fireflies find them much the same way except they shoot him on sight and grab Ellie right out of his arms as he bleeds out on the cracked asphalt, her screams echoing in his ears. 
Another time, he ties them together in the tunnel with some fraying rope and they both drown. 
Killing Marlene early gets him a bullet in the head and not killing her at all gets him back where he started, no change. 
Joel even begs the doctor to run more tests first, to try blood, to try anything, but it takes too long and the alarm sounds and he's cornered in the operating room before he can grab Ellie and go. 
Nothing fucking works. 
But what is there left to change?
__
His mind starts to fray. He loses count of the loops and it becomes hard to detach himself from the slaughter. Not even the good moments -- Ellie's laughter, the awe in her face when she sees the giraffes, her jokes and her muted but still sharp sarcasm -- keep him afloat. He's lost, adrift in a sea of blood and bullets and it starts to eat away any humanity that was left in him. 
The blood of hundreds, thousands maybe, is on his hands and he feels nothing.
Once and only once does he get there too late. Everything else goes like it always does but maybe he took too long on the first floor, maybe he took too long picking the guys one by one instead of using the assault rifle, maybe maybe maybe. 
When Joel gets to the pediatric ward he knows something is different -- he can hear a buzzing sound, something loud and unnatural. The stale air is thick with something metallic, tinged with death. The buzzing stops and he finds his feet glued to the floor outside the operating room. Voices on the other side of it, murmuring and the clink of metal on a tray. Joel's hand shakes when he reaches for the knob because he knows whatever he finds on the other side is going to kill him. 
But he opens it because he has to. The doctor is at the sink this time, the nurses nowhere to be found. Ellie's body is covered in a sheet, blood seeping through the fabric. Joel looks away. He just stands there, his heartbeat loud in his ears as the world ends. 
The first time his daughter died, Joel thought he could will it not to be so. He held her as long as he could, whispered her name with her blood drying on his hands until Tommy begged him to get moving. 
This time, he knows it's true and he knows there's only one ending. 
He raises his gun at the doctor who is now leaning on the edge of the sink. The door swings open and the nurses return, eyes wide and vibrating with the energy of a job well done. He swings over to them and kills them both with quick headshots. The doctor has barely turned around when he's dead, too.
Joel breathes, ears ringing. He manages one step closer to the operating table but his knees buckle and he goes down hard on the cool tile. His vision is blurry. Is he crying?
"I'm sorry," he says. "I'm so fucking sorry, baby." He angles himself so he won't get any blood on her and then presses the barrel of his gun to his temple and pulls the trigger. 
__
If Joel was on the edge of losing his mind before, now he's laser focused. He doesn't pull any more shit. He settles back into the loop, savoring Ellie's laughter with the giraffe and gunning down every sorry motherfucker in his way at the hospital. He will not get there late ever again. 
So when Marlene says something different the next time around and he almost misses it.
Ellie is dead weight in his arms but she's warm and he can see the rise and fall of her chest. The hospital was messier than usual because he rushed this time, cutting down the Fireflies like it was his last stand. There's blood in his hair and crusted under his fingernails and his shirt is beyond ruined. 
"Are you going to tell her what happened here?" Marlene presses her hand into her side, blood leaking from around her crimson palm. "Are you going to tell her what you did?"
He lies to her.
Every time.
It's never occurred to him to try something else. Even though he's changed almost everything about this damn day except that. 
Because Joel knows what happens if he tells the truth. He knows what that will cost him.
And he doesn't know if he'll survive it.
He's afraid. Joel doesn't want to lose her and if that makes him selfish then so be it. He wants to take her back to Jackson and give her a bedroom of her own and as many stupid comics as she wants and three meals a day for the rest of her long, peaceful life. He wants her to grow up and grow old. 
He'd kill a thousand more Fireflies to make it happen.
He'd damn the whole world. 
Because he loves her and it fucking hurts. 
This girl and her puns and her comics and her god damned bravery and her bleeding heart. He doesn't want to lose her. 
But is this, whatever this endless hell is, is it fair to her? 
If it's breakable, if he has the ability to get them to tomorrow, to get them to Jackson, to get them home, shouldn't he? If he loves her shouldn't he give her a life even if he's not in it?
Joel gently arranges Ellie in the backseat and shoots Marlene in the head. 
__
For a few seconds Ellie thinks she's in the car on the way into Pittsburgh. The hum of the old engine, the rocking motion of the truck. But -- wait. She's lying down. The car smells...musty. And she's cold like she's wearing a dress and --
"What the hell am I wearing?"
She flutters her eyes open. Different truck. Backseat. Is she in a...hospital gown? What the fuck? Where is she?
"Just take it easy," Joel says. Okay, so she's with Joel. Something in her chest settles. She must be safe. "Drugs are still wearin' off."
Drugs? Ellie pushes back into her memory and tries to find something, anything that'll give her a clue as to what's going on here. They were in the bus tunnel. The water was rushing, Joel jumped on the bus and it started moving and she...fell into the water? 
It's a blur after that. More of a blank, really. Did they get to the hospital? Did they find the Fireflies? Based on her weird fucking outfit it sure seems like it.
"What happened?"
Joel's eyes flick up in the rearview mirror to look at her. "Let's get you into some clothes, first. Then we'll take a break and I'll tell you everythin'."
He sounds tired. More tired than he's ever sounded, frankly, but she can't imagine why. And he can't seem to stop looking at her like she's going to disappear. Like he hasn't seen her in ages. 
"Okay," she says slowly. "Where the hell are we going to get those?" 
"Your bag is on the floor by your feet." Joel veers off the highway down an exit ramp and Ellie sits up. Her head feels light for a second and then really heavy so she braces her hands on the seat in front of her and takes a few deep breaths. "You okay, kiddo?"
"Yeah. Fucking...drugs, I guess. What'd they do that for?"
"They ran some tests. We'll talk about it."
Normally she'd push him but something feels off. Ellie tries to get a good look at his face but she can't, not from this angle, and not with her head fucking pounding like it is. She's missing so much time. It makes her skin crawl, makes her heart race. Joel is here, she tells herself. He wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. 
He parks them at the edge of a cemetery and gets out of the car to stand guard while she changes out of the gown. Her last pair of jeans, apparently, and a grey t-shirt with a few holes in the collar. She wishes she had a sweatshirt or something to wrap around herself, to pull over her hands and feel covered. But beggars can't be choosers. At least someone put her shoes in her backpack. 
Joel doesn't turn around when she opens the door but she sees him stiffen. 
"I'm done." He looks back at her and she finally sees his face. "Jesus Christ, Joel, what happened to you?"
It's not just the blood. Sure, he's got dried streaks of it on his neck and in his hair. Ellie glances at his hands and sees it crusted under his fingernails, too. But he looks wrecked. Older, somehow. He looks like something terrible happened, the way she remembers his face when he fell from the balcony in Colorado, when he found her in the burning restaurant. But somehow it's worse. 
He's looking at her like he can't believe she's real. 
"Alright." Joel lowers the rifle and ignores her question, clearly. "Didn't see anythin'. Should be fine to sit here for a bit."
"Are you going to tell me what the fuck happened?"
He moves like he's going to drag a hand down his face but thinks better of it. "Yeah," he says. "I am." 
Ellie swings her legs so they're hanging out the door. Joel leans the rifle against the truck and crosses his arms. "You're making me kind of nervous, man."
"Just...promise me you'll hear me out to the end."
Yeah, something is going on. She doesn't like it. 
"Uh, sure."
"What do you remember?" 
Good fucking question. "The tunnel. The bus and -- water. I fell in, right?"
Joel nods, clears his throat. "Jumpin' on the bus was dumb. Don't do that again." 
She snorts. "Yeah, okay. Point taken. But I was afraid you were going to drown!"
"You did." He delivers the news in a flat tone she doesn't like. She drowned?
"Are you serious?"
"I got us out of the water and tried to get you breathin' again." Ellie realizes her chest is sore. She imagines Joel doing compressions like they showered her in school, imagines his panicked face, his hoarse voice calling her name. Fuck.
"Did it work?"
"No," he says. "Fireflies found us first and knocked me out." 
"That doesn't make sense." She frowns. "They knocked you out?"
Joel shrugs. "Just tellin' you what happened."
This isn't how she imagined it would go. She never told Joel, but for weeks she's been thinking about waltzing up to the hospital and telling them who she is. She pictured Joel telling her jokes while she got her blood drawn, pictured him staring down nurses and doctors while they made the cure. She figured it would take a few days, maybe a week, and then they'd be on their way back to Jackson. She had hoped Marlene might be there, too. She has so many questions about her mom. 
"What did they do with me?"
Joel looks troubled. "I...don't exactly know. It was a while before I saw you again."
It makes her skin crawl. He must be able to tell because he keeps talking. "I'm sure they just ran some tests while you were out. They brought you back, made sure you were breathin' okay."
"Tests?"
"I'm gettin' there." She feels like he's having a hard time looking at her. Something close to but not quiet dread sits heavy in her stomach. What happened?
"Joel..."
"I woke up inside the hospital. Marlene was there. Told me they didn't know it was us, that they'd been waiting." He pauses, drags a hand down his face. "You didn't wake up or nothin'? You sure?"
Ellie shakes her head. She doesn't remember anything after the tunnel. 
"Well, she told me they could do it. They had a doctor who could make the cure."
The air rushes out of Ellie all at once. "Are you fucking serious?"
"And then she said..." Joel chews on his words and looks away from her. He looks angry. 
"What did she say?"
"Makin' a vaccine...would've killed you."
The bottom drops out of Ellie's world. It's like a hundred doors in her brain open at once. 
It would have killed her? Are they sure? Did they do enough tests? Were they going to? Why didn't they wake her up? Were they going to ask her? How did they get out?
She swallows them all and manages just one in a broken whisper. "What did you do?"
Joel looks right at her. "I stopped them."
If Ellie wasn’t already sitting down she thinks her legs would give out. She knows that Joel meant what he said to her in Silver Lake. Knows that he'd do anything for her.
But this?
"What do you mean?" He shakes his head. "Joel. What do you mean, you stopped them?"
His shoulders slump. "They told me to leave and I refused. And I made sure no one can follow us to try again."
Static builds in her ears. She can read between the lines. She speaks Joel now. He killed them all, that much is clear to her. He killed them all, Marlene, too, probably, because she was supposed to die to save the world. Hot tears sting her nose and gather at the corner of her eyes. 
"But I -- but we -- I was supposed to...I'm the cure!"
"You're a person. You're a kid. Don't matter what's in your brain, you ain't dyin' for --"
Ellie pushes out of the truck and to her feet. Joel steps back to give her room but she knows he probably wants to touch her, to reassure her. The anger fills her, makes her face hot and her heart race. 
"Who said you get to make that choice? If they said I had to die maybe I should have? Then it would mean something --"
"Your immunity ain't the thing that matters most. You are. So I picked you," Joel yells.
She's really crying now, huge heaving sobs that make it hard to talk, make it hard to convey how angry she is. "Well, you picked wrong, asshole."
"I ain't gonna apologize for it. I'd do it all over again, the exact same way. Every time." Joel's expression is as serious as it gets. He used to look this way all the time. No nonsense, no room for argument. 
She tries to find the words anyway but they don't come.
"Now, you've got some options here," he says. "I think the best one is for us to go back to Jackson. I know Tommy'll take you in, and --
She laughs, or tries to. 
It sounds like something bitter and awful to her own ears. First he tells her she was supposed to die today and now he wants to leave her?
"Are you fucking serious, Joel? You want to leave me again?" 
Joel's brows pinch together. He looks pained. Good. It feels like her chest is caving in, like her lungs aren't working right anymore. This must be what it felt like to drown in the bus terminal, to sink slowly, to fade away entirely. She read once that drowning was supposed to be peaceful. This hurts. 
"I want you to be safe," he says. "Jackson is the best place for that. I don't have to be there if you don't want me there --"
"I didn't fucking say that!" she yells. "I -- Jesus, give me a fucking second, okay?"
He stands by the door as she paces back and forth, tugging her hands through her hair. 
She was supposed to die. But she didn't. There's no cure. And it sure fucking sounds like Joel didn't leave any option to try again. 
He traded saving the world for her. 
It's too much.
"What do you want, Ellie?" Joel sounds like he's been awake for days. Like he's in pain, like he's being hollowed out. He sounds like how she feels. 
She digs the heels of her hands into her eyes. 
"I want none of this to have happened! I want us to go back to this morning and I want us to not have gone into the bus tunnel and I want you to have asked for tests first, I want them to try something else. I want Marlene to tell me why they didn't wake me up. I want to do it again but differently, I want things to be different, I --"
Her words break off into a sob. "Ellie..." She opens her eyes and finds him reaching for her. His shirt is stained with dried blood but she steps into his hold and his arm wraps around her. 
"I don't know what to do, now," she whispers.
Joel exhales a shaky breath. "I know you wish things were different. I wish things were different. But they ain't."
They stand there, his hand dragging up and down her back. She listens to his heartbeat and remembers those nights in the basement when she thought it would stop any minute. 
"Fuck," she whispers, then pulls away. He lets her go. "Fuck, Joel."
He sighs. "Yeah, kiddo. Fuck."
He told her the truth and that means something. It hurts, it hurts so bad, and it doesn't absolve him of anything, but that matters. 
"I'm so angry with you," she says. "I don't know how to forgive you for...for...saving me." 
It sounds stupid as she says it but Joel nods solemnly. 
"That's alright." 
"But I..." She wants to get this part right. "Let's go back. To Jackson. We'll figure it out there. But you...you have to swear to tell me the truth. Just like this. We have to be honest with each other."
Joel meets her gaze without blinking. "I swear."
Ellie takes a deep breath. The anger, the horror, the disbelief at what he's done settle a little bit. She has no clue what comes next, but this is a start. 
"Okay."
__
Joel wakes up. 
His back hurts and his shoulder aches. It's dark, darker than it should be, darker than it's been for hundreds of days.
Ellie is asleep in the backseat of the truck. 
It's tomorrow. 
thank you for reading. let me know what you thought!
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createserenity · 6 months
Text
Reunions and the sound of glass
I don't often analyse scenes in Good Omens, I much prefer talking about their character dynamics, like I do here (and I have several other posts in the works along similar themes) but there’s a scene in episode 4 that I really want to talk about because it has both relationship stuff and a mystery – specifically the sound of breaking glass (that's not really glass breaking as such).
So let's talk about the scene when Aziraphale arrives back from Edinburgh. How adorable is Aziraphale’s face when he sees Crowley? They’ve literally been apart for a day and he’s so flippin’ delighted to see him. He’s missed him. He had fun investigating, but it wasn’t nearly so much fun without Crowley there. Now he’s back, he’s so very happy about it and he can’t wait to see Crowley. See how excited his face is? And he’s literally leaning forward to peer around the door columns as he approaches the shop.
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Then Crowley appears and Aziraphale beams, he literally lights up with so much joy the moment he sees him and hears his voice. There’s even this split second when he sees Crowley where he opens his arms like he really wants to embrace him.
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Then he gets a face full of plants and my goodness the look of absolute dejection is heartbreaking. I just want to shake Crowley for being so ridiculous here. Just show your angel some love, you silly demon!
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Also I think the disappointment is partly why Aziraphale tells such a silly lie about the journey being uneventful. Crowley has just smacked him in the face literally and figuratively. Literally with a bunch of plants and figuratively with the message, “I’m not really that bothered whether you’re here or not.” Unsurprisingly Aziraphale doesn’t feel like sharing anything with someone who has just done that.
Now let’s take a detour here and talk about the weird sound we hear as they go towards the car. That’s not a pure breaking glass sound as such (like you’d get from a smashed window), it’s the sound of the pub doing its recycling. It’s the noise you get when someone takes out the internal glass bottle bin and empties it into the outside glass recycling bin. It’s why Crowley doesn’t react and Aziraphale simply looks around and then turns back looking unconcerned. They’ll hear that noise all the time, it’s not the noise of something bad happening.
So why is that sound used here? I have no idea. Presumably it’s not just ambiance, although since it’s a noise that could serve that purpose it could very well be that it’s a red herring. It also happens at an odd moment. One thing breaking glass signals is the breaking of trust. Aziraphale has just told a lie, but by the time we hear the noise Crowley is several seconds into his description of ‘Jim’ singing and sleeping. It seems too far removed to be to do with Aziraphale’s lie specifically. So that leaves us with three possibilities – we should ignore the noise because it’s only ambiance, it’s to do with something other than lies, or Crowley is lying about what he and Jim have been up to. I have no idea why this last one might be or what might have happened. Anyone want to speculate? To be honest he doesn’t look or sound like he’s lying to me and Crowley actually lies very very rarely, especially not to Aziraphale (when he does it tends to be by omission rather than a direct lie) so I’m inclined to think the sound is supposed to clue us into something else. But what? And if so why not actual glass breaking, why the weird recycling sound?
Anyway back to Aziraphale and Crowley’s interaction. Crowley manages to piss Aziraphale off even more by being all lovey-dovey towards his car.  After checking out Crowley’s arse (!) as he bends over to put the plants in the car Aziraphale then seems to become anxious as they talk about whether he has anymore clues, even glancing over his shoulder nervously as he talks. Why? No idea. Maybe he just knows that he didn’t really find out all that much on his trip and is worried Crowley is expecting more of him?
What’s quite sweet is that he only completely regains his balance and perkiness after Crowley shuts the car door and Aziraphale is able to step up close to him again. There’s no real need for him to step forward, they’re already at conversation distance, but Aziraphale feels most comfortable when he’s right up in Crowley’s space. Also Crowley admits to his own failure and doesn’t seem inclined to say anything about Aziraphale’s lack of information, so that probably helps too. Symbollically speaking a barrier between them (the car door) has been removed.
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Anyway the scene ends with them heading back to the bookshop and I really hope Aziraphale finally gets that hug he wants. I mean, I know he doesn’t, but I feel so bad for him in this scene and it would be nice for the poor lovestruck angel if he did.
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pix3lplays · 5 months
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3/3 I request something that's tbh now kind of a rite of passage for HSR men at this point cuz there is so much Dad!HSR men stuff on your Tumblr lol
So I was wondering, What would Dr.Ratio be like as a father?
-🤡anon
And I wouldn’t have it any other way hehe!
Yessss let’s gooooo
Cw! Suggestive comments from me because I’m kinda down bad for this guy, reader gets pregnant and such, ANGST PLEASE BE AWARE RATIO IS A BAD DAD
Someone buy this man a ‘world��s sluttiest dad’ mug lol
*looks at how much I wrote* I uh. Got a little carried away there lol
-Dr. Ratio dad hcs-
Okay, first of all, I have a Hard time seeing Ratio as a biological dad, he just doesn’t seem like he’d be into it if you know what I’m saying? He seems more like he would choose to adopt, if he chose to have children with you at All. He just doesn’t seem the type…
But say the Doctor does accidentally get you pregnant.
Well.
He’s shocked, completely thrown off his balance, very much a “what do you MEAN you’re pregnant?!” even though he knows exactly what you mean. You’ve only done it ONCE. (And it wasn’t even that good ngl) How did this HAPPEN?!
His initial thought is No, he doesn’t want to be a father. You should get rid of it. He can’t shoulder that responsibility right now.
But you’re looking at him with shining eyes, cupping your stomach even though you’re not even showing yet, and smiling harder than he’s ever seen you smile before.
You really want to have his baby. You’re excited at the thought. And he’s never been able to refuse you before.
Fine. He’ll raise his baby. He’ll raise them to be So Smart, surely they’ll surpass him one day. That is his dream for them.
While you’re pregnant…Dr. Ratio has a hard time pulling himself away from his work to be with you. It’s a thought that doesn’t really occur to him-? He thinks oh you’re at home so you’ll be okay, completely forgetting about this important thing called Moral Support. Literally the type of guy who’s like a lot of Animals go through this procedure where the father leaves, so you should be fine and you’re like ??? We’re not Animals though??
You call him a lot throughout the day. He doesn’t understand why. You say things like you missed him or you felt the baby kick and you thought of him and he literally doesn’t understand why you’re So worked up about this baby until-
He experiences something himself. He was scribbling in his book, sitting up in bed, when suddenly you reached over and pulled his free hand onto your stomach. As if on cue, and before he could pull away like he was bound to do, he felt it. The little kick of the child inside you saying hi to their papa.
It was like LOVE at first sight oh my gosh. He doesn’t say anything. He just sits still for a moment, before suddenly forgetting about his book and placing both of his hands on your round belly, feeling for his baby, seeking desperately for the charming little kicks of his child, his nose scrunched in concentration.
He feels another one and he leans his face in closer to your stomach and you can’t handle how cute your man looks right now-all concentrated on his child-to-be, just him and them, the only beings in the world.
So he becomes a Little more attentive to you after that. Asks you how you’re feeling, and Especially asks how the baby is doing.
He’s suddenly…excited to meet the little bundle of joy he initially considered an unwanted nuisance.
And when the baby is born-oh, he is under their spell immediately.
You’re cradling your newborn, and he’s standing by your hospital bedside, peering into their little close-eyed face, and he’s talking to them.
“Welcome into the world…I’m your papa…I’ll protect you…” you can’t make out everything he’s saying, but you know it’s sweet and loving and caring and you’re so happy because for a while there you didn’t trust him to get the dad instinct.
And.
Well.
You were right.
That Dad Instinct never really…manifests itself beyond the pregnancy process and the birth.
For the first few months they are Absolutely Inseparable, he’s always holding his baby or rocking them to sleep in their crib, but other than that don’t expect him to do much of the Real Work heh.
That falls onto you.
And once they’re old enough to crawl, and more interested in exploring the house than clinging to papa Ratio’s fingers, or crying whenever he wasn’t around…Ratio loses a bit of interest too.
It’s a little bit sad seeing your child playing in the living room while papa Ratio reads a textbook, neither of them giving each other a passing glance.
I could definitely see Ratio being someone who teaches his child to call him “Dr. Ratio” instead of “Papa” or “Father”. It makes you a bit upset, but the man is insistent and won’t have it any other way, so you’ll just have to Deal.
Ratio has some High expectations for his child. He wants them to grow up to be even smarter than him, which is a HIGH bar.
Only the finest schools for his child, and he intends to tutor them through their homework himself.
At least he’s spending Some time with his kid, even if it’s spent drilling them on mathematics.
His kid is Acutely aware of the high standards placed upon them. You feel so bad for your poor child when they stop by their father’s office, gazing at his vast collection of trophies and prizes.
To be fair! Dr. Ratio was Extremely proud when his six year old won the spelling bee. I mean, he stood up from his chair and clapped and everything- you have a picture from the spelling bee, of your little kid holding up a medal, and Ratio looking so, so proud-it’s up on the wall of your bedroom for a reason.
Sometimes you find Ratio looking at it with a small smile on his face. So proud of his kiddo.
As his kid gets older, they begin to show just how smart they really are.
You literally cannot keep up when they have an intelligent conversation with their dad at the dinner table.
It’s funny because Dr. Ratio would be so chill and supportive of his kid, until they tell him they would rather focus on traveling and enjoying life than studies.
Like he literally loses his mind. They have a huge argument and Ratio gets So Close to kicking the kid out of his house, like, it’s a good thing you were there to deescalate.
Talk about a HARD to overcome rift.
Dr. Ratio goes on a massive rant about it in the bedroom that night, and no matter what you do there’s no calming this man down.
He falls asleep angry, and he’s angry in the morning and the whole afternoon, and he doesn’t speak to his child for a WHILE, and your child pleads with you for help because they’re not USED to not having dad’s approval. It’s a messy situation. One that doesn’t get resolved easily.
Either your kid will have to accept that they’re gonna disappoint Dr. Ratio a bit, or they’ll give up on their dreams and pursue Ratio’s dream.
They decide to leave home.
Ratio doesn’t really recover. But you can tell deep down he’s more hurt than he’s letting on. He misses his kid, you know it.
They haven’t really spoken to each other since.
You’ve written a few letters in that time to your child, asked Ratio if he’d like to sign and maybe send some money.
He always says no.
So far.
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