#idk who wrote this i dont recognise her

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Ateez as Boyfriends [Explicit Ver.]

yet another collab with loren @eightmakesonebraincell. idk what this is but it's smut and it's a filthfest in here sooo MDNI!!

lmao when we think about it now we don't even know how we came to write this (speed write it more like) but this has collected dust in the drafts for a good while anddd it's our first time writing smut like this (minus my woo fic) so here we are :') Enjoy!

Hongjoong

eye fucks you

literally when he is in the mood he will let his eyes scan you ever so slowly

tease.

i just think that most of the times you’ll be in the studio

and studio sex calls for you in his lap to get his attention

while his attention remains undivided on his pc

until you grind-

one wrong move and you’re done for

if he doesn’t want you to break his focus at that moment, he’s probably gonna growl and bite your shoulder with the promise of what’s about to come

and threaten you with things he would do to you once he is free

however, if you've succeeded?

immediately on to you

lips everywhere and anywhere on your body

tongue in your mouth

i feel like even if he tries to go slow, he’s the type to lose control in the middle of it

and go super intense and heated

loves it when his hands are on your hips and controlling your movement

the type to wedge his thigh between your legs as you make out 

and watch you become a mess as you grind on it

or when you’re sitting on him, he’ll hook your legs over his to stop you from closing them

he’ll finger you until you’re squirming in his lap

punish you for distracting him and being a bad girl

neck kisses he’s gonna leave pretty marks all over you

will praise the f outta you (not me censoring this.) 

will probably move around a lot during sex

like one moment you’re in his lap

next you’re on the couch, he’s on top of you

until you switch

and then he has you standing up and suddenly you’re pinned against the wall

will not miss a chance to go down on you

knows exactly how to make you cry

and i mean cry.

laughs against your throbbing core and the vibrations oh goodness

absolutely loves the feeling of your fingers gripping his hair in desperation

nips you everywhere

and when you’re finally begging him to give you what you want, that’s when he’ll let you have some moment of control

probably curses in pleasure

loves watching you on top of him but makes sure you know who’s in control (him)

he’s gonna spice things up when you’re reaching climax

i think i said he knows how to make you cry so go ahead and imagine

will overstimulate you before he wraps things up hehe

i just feel like his fingers on your clit right before you come and it’s 10x more intense

would love to come inside you when he can ;)

hongjoong would also probably record the audio of your moans during sex and when you climax (with consent ofc)

and on nights when he’s missing you he’ll play it through his headphones and touch himself wishing you were here

takes such good care of you when you’re done like you joke that he’s suddenly worried if you’re okay when he fucked you like there’s no tomorrow-

but really he’s all prepared he’s immediately making sure you have what you need- water, cuddles, round 2, you name it

will kiss your forehead as he assures you you’re his muse, the love of his life and all that sweet stuff :’)

you whine that you feel all sticky and gross

he definitely has an abundance of tissues and wet wipes in his studio

when people ask him why he has so many he tells them it’s for yknow cleaning

if you guys are back home in the shower though?

omg he is so soft and all about the romance

makes you feel so so loved

holds you in his arms for the longest time

or you’re in the middle of doing something and he grabs your wrist

and pulls you towards him with the biggest smile on his face

hands on your hips as he sways you around

and you just know that look in his eyes means he’s in the mood and he’s going to make this a memorable night for both of you

you’ll hook your arms around his neck and sway to the music that is in your heads

guided by his movements

he tells you what he’s feeling. no filters

and you appreciate that so much about him

would definitely have a post-sex playlist that he’s made with like slow candle-lit dinner vibes

plays it with a speaker in the bathroom as he presses long and lazy kisses against you

basically a very love-driven makeout session :((

hehe but he most definitely nibbles all over the marks he’s left on you with a sense of achievement

loves when you wear one of his shirts over just your panties as you go to bed together

it’s the possessiveness in him i’m telling you

he’s quick to fall asleep but you can see a faint smile on his lips as you caress his head or his face

and you tell him all the reasons you love him

you can swear his hold on you tightens even though he is fast asleep

and you’re going to wake up with him looking at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he has ever laid eyes on :(( 

even tho you look like an absolute mess in the morning-

Seonghwa

tongue.

man has a mouth on him like have you seen his lips?

the prettiest lips in ateez 

and his tongue????

he is the best kisser in ateez fight me

he knows how deadly his tongue is

and he’s going to use that to his advantage

makeout sessions are gonna be next level with him

and when his tongue goes elsewhere-

like when he kisses your neck?

or anywhere for that matter??

you literally cannot breath

it’s like it’s turning him on too

makes the dirtiest noises you bet 

he loves the feeling of your thighs clenching around him because it means that you’re close

he praises you and tells you that you have the prettiest moans

loves that you’re making those sounds just for him

he’ll enjoy overstimulating you

he coos and tells you to give him one more orgasm baby as he digs his fingers knuckle-deep into you

he knows your body so well

he can tell exactly when you’re about to come

like, he’ll say “come for me” because he knows that’s what tips you over the edge

and then when he’s satisfied with how many times you’ve come for him

that’s when he gets started

when you guys are fucking there are two different moods

sometimes he likes to take it slow and worship your body

pepper kisses all over your face and anywhere he can reach

presses his body against yours like he has to be touching every part of your exposed skin

drags his length in and out of you slowly so he can feel every inch of you

will latch his lips onto yours and explore your mouth with his tongue

likes to hold your hand :’((( i love him so much

other times it’s hot and fast and needy

his hands roam all over your body and through your hair

rolls your nipples between his fingers to make your back arch 

moans into the kisses

bites your lower lip

either lets you run your hands wherever you want or pins them to whatever surface you’re on

you fist the sheets beneath you or grip his shoulders

he grunts and pants in between praises of how tight you are and how good you feel

before he’s coming hard into you

i’m convinced that when hwa comes his eyes roll back and he lets out the deepest moan

it’s so filthy his expression alone can make you reach your climax honestly

his warmth fills you up (pls use a condom irl)

and when he pulls out, the sight of his cum leaking out of you has him half-hardening again

he loves to see how he’s ruined you

and you best bet he’ll help clean you up-

with his mouth

he’ll hold your legs apart as you writhe from sensitivity

as soon as you both come down from your orgasms, it’s like all the dom has left his body

he literally becomes the softest when he’s doing aftercare like his touch is suddenly delicate and he’s holding you like you’re fragile

“sir, i’m pretty sure you’ve left bruises on my body but okay”

“ah, did i? shall i kiss them so they get better?”

and you grin bc you’re lovestruck

and he feels so proud that he made you smile bc that means you’re okay

literally every second sentence that comes out of his mouth will be praise

that you did so well for him

that you’re so beautiful

that you’re all that he could ever ask for

<33333

peppers soft kisses on your face and kisses your knuckles

brings you sth warm to drink and cuddles you all night

i feel like he’s the type to love feeling skin on skin when cuddling

especially after having sex

he just has his boxers on and you just have your panties on

and he loves to hold you close to him and just feel you next to him in such an intimate way :’(((

he can’t keep his hands off you but it’s completely innocent

traces little patterns and shapes on your back

splays his hand over your tummy

rests a hand over your chest bc he likes to feel your heartbeat

and he does it unconsciously too, even during pillow talk

you two can talk for hours about anything and everything deep into the night

it doesn’t even matter what the pillow talk is about all you two want is to hear each other’s voices

imagine hwa’s post-sex husky deep voice akjfldsg

but you two talk and cuddle for so long neither of you even realise when you’ve fallen asleep

in the morning he wakes up before you but he stays cuddling you until you wake up so that he’s the first thing you see <33

there’ll be lots of lazy kisses before he gets up to make you a cute breakfast

Yunho

eye fucks you pt 2

literally the way he just watches you at times

like he’s drinking in the sight of you

before he kisses you he’s going to cup your face and look at you for the longest time

and you can see a thousand undecipherable emotions in his eyes

hesitates a bit before he kisses you but once you’re into it he’s a changed man

idk about you but i feel like his tongue can do wonders

i just think he’s a natural at this he kisses you like he’s been doing it forever and will never get tired of it 

makeout turns heated pretty quick and one thing leads to another-

will be vocal during sex too like

he needs to hear you say some stuff before you proceed

he needs to hear your voice to confirm you’re feeling good

he’s pretty much driven on that

he aims to please you. 

his hands. need i say more?

he drives you crazy with his hands alone

even when they’re cupping your face or like holding you behind your neck

you love his hands in your hair

you love it when you feel his big hands anywhere on your body for that matter

especially when they’re gripping your thighs

and his long fingers omg

just a brush of them in the inside of your thigh or near your core and you’re done for

makes you a writhing mess before he will even touch you

will also pin you on nearest surfaces 

and lets his mouth and thighs do the rest

probably loves when you ride his thigh too as he makes out with you

to the point you almost come on that alone

he just loves when you want to be in control but he restrains you

and you gladly let him

will at times let you dom him

but he just thinks that you’re cute for trying

really, he’s watching all smug, watching you on top of him, waiting until he’s had enough

and then he’s flipped you

he’s pinned you to the bed and he dwarfs you grrr 

“now it’s my turn”

if you think cuddling while lovemaking is a soft trait? make it hard for yunho

like he’s just burying his nose in the crook of your neck while he pumps into you

spoons you from behind as he rubs his length against your ass

or kissing your temple or head and moaning against you

and oh goodness his weight on you when he’s on top of you i-

will mumble praise into your ear

“you’re so fucking wet baby” hdsjhjkdfhg

“you feel so good”

and you’ll def praise him in return he loves that

not afraid to experiment with you

and he’s always just so supportive of your wants and needs

he’s also fully capable of driving you insane like he can be a little shit sometimes-

his hand around your throat.

his hand being able to wrap around both of your wrists

loves to pin your wrists above your head

when he’s approaching his orgasm he’ll see what you need

probably loves it when you come together

and he’ll pump all that inside you he won’t stop

will remain inside for a good few moments until he pulls out

and then it's just another round of teasing each other as he takes care of you

“can we shower together now?” but you know it will lead to shower sex

“will you let me spoon you after i clean you up?”

“only if i don’t find your dick hardening against my ass in the middle of the night, yunho”

the teasing is just ramped up honestly

you two flick soap suds at each other

he smacks your ass and it startles you and you slip a little in the shower

he makes sure to catch you but you smack his chest as revenge even though you two are giggling

when you step out of the shower he’ll throw your towel over your head so it covers your face

the man runs out of the bathroom before you can throw the towel back at him

he’s just streaking through the house naked at this point

it takes a while for you two to calm down enough to actually get into bed

but there’s definitely another hour or two of very handsy teasing

mostly from him as you giggle at his antics

and lots of hypothetical discussions about things you guys could try out next time

but also not hypothetically because he would totally be down lol

he’ll be like “okay but what if we restrained your wrists to the shower curtain bar, do you think it’d break?”

and you say you can try next time but if it does break he’s paying not you

you’re just both a laughing mess in each other’s arms as you fall asleep

Yeosang

vanilla guy

he can move his tongue 180 degrees do you all know what use he can make of that?

he’s either super shy super shy~ or he’s gonna be the demon that we all know he is

his kisses range from shy to heated and rushed

like when he’s shy he’s all smiles and cautious touches 

but you can literally taste it when he’s desperate

because his body language changes significantly

suddenly he’s the most confident

kinda feel like lingerie really turns him on

like whenever you wear something lacy or revealing

his length is already hardening before he knows it

sometimes he tries to hide it

other times he comes right up to you and growls into your ear that he needs you right now

his favourite place to do it might be in the bed

he just wants to make sure you’re comfortable first and foremost

and i feel like he’s a switch

he has his dom days he has his sub days too

sometimes he just needs you to lead and he loves watching you when you take the lead

he lets you do whatever you want to him

like he’ll watch as you unbutton your shirt and slip off your bra

and when you lean down to take off his pants

he’ll let you kiss him and touch him however you like

but when you start teasing him?

i feel like he has a switch that goes off and bam he’s now in dom mode

and he’s suddenly flipped positions and he’s like “i’ve had enough sweetheart”

and he’s banging into you with no remorse

and you swear his beautiful deep voice does something to you makes you feral is what it does

tucks your hair out of the way as he pumps his length into you

holds your face :( he’s so precious grrrrr

swipes his thumb across your lower lip

daring you to try something like-

he’s a tease he knows what game you’re playing

and if you try to capture his thumb between your teeth he’s gonna be like ‘nuh-uh not so quick’

like he can be the sub and still be in charge how beautiful is that

bonus points if you make him laugh or make him shy during sex

you love to see it when you praise him and he gets all flustered

but boi does he know how to make you lose your shit too

esp when he’s in control and just running his hands all over your body

tracing all your curves as he drinks in the sight and praises you so. much.

as if he isn’t a walking sculpture himself :’)

loves watching your little reaction and catches on real quick

like if you writhe under him when he kisses your sweet spot? he’s gonna be all smug and you bet the night has gotten longer

because he will spend his sweet time there

and when he’s fingering you or eating you out he will do everything to get the best reactions out of you

aftercare is 90 percent him fussing over you 

even though you reassure him that you’re okay from under the mountain of blankets he’s piled over you

he literally treats you like a queen

also because he wants to give you everything that you might even potentially need

so he like

brings you a whole platter of warm tea, water, energy drinks, salty snacks, packets of lollies, chocolates, you name it

will also ask if you need painkillers or anything

you better give that man his aftercare too he deserves it

you slip him bits of chocolate or snacks 

sometimes after he’s had one of those days where he’s radiated dom energy or he’s teased you a lot

you bring it up with him and wiggle your eyebrows

like “so i’m your good girl, huh”

and he gets so flustered and shy and does his little giggle

but you never tease him too much, because you know that he can start to doubt himself or feel insecure

so you always make sure to tell him how good and perfect he is no matter what he does

he deserves all the love in the world <3

so after you let him fuss over you for a while you sort of just, fling up the side of your blanket and say

“get in here”

and he has such a cute bright smile as he burrows underneath the covers with you

sometimes he spoons you

but more often than not

you spoon him

and he feels so safe and loved whenever you hug him like that :’(

you love to run your fingers through his long locks because his hair feels super soft

but also because you can almost hear the purr that comes out of yeosang when you do it

he’s a precious baby :(

San

a switch nobody can convince us otherwise

he can be a hard dom

manhandles you, like have you seen the way he is with woo??

holds your jaw to make you look at him

or he gets up close and crowds your personal space

passes you the dirtiest looks

will stare at you for the longest time just to see what your reaction will be

loves it when you get flustered and shy 

doesn’t care if you’re in public his touches will look casual to others

but you’ve memorised what his hand placement means

like when his hand on your waist slowly lowers to your hip, you know it’s gonna be a long night

teases you during sex, like he’ll lightly drag his fingers around your upper thighs and on your lower stomach but never touching your core

and he’ll ask you what do you want

he wants you to be vocal and beg for him to touch you

and when you do he’ll rip away your clothes and go down on you like he’s starved

he unbuttons your clothes and unclasps your bra with one hand and that alone makes you so wet

fondles your breasts with one hand while he circles your clit with the other

he latches his mouth onto your neck and collarbones and sucks on your nipples

has your back arching from all the different sensations all at once

but he’s also the subbiest sub to exist

like can you imagine him whimpering underneath you

this time he’s the one begging

he begs to touch you

and he begs for you to touch him, kiss him, anything

he doesn’t care if there are people in the next room or if they can hear him

he just needs to be inside of you

man always does it like it’s his first time taking you 

like you’re blown by how much he can enjoy this every time it just gives you that confidence boost too

and he’s big on praise as well

loves being loud during sex 

makes the unholiest noises-

makes the most intense eye contact and if you dare shy away from him?

“look at me when i’m looking at you”

jksdhgjghjghksgh

^that’s your reaction btw 

his kisses become more messy as things escalate and he just

he wishes he could kiss you everywhere all at once

switches positions so many times but mostly because he needs to feel closer to you in every aspect

might have a thing for putting your legs over his shoulders as he pumps into you

will make you scream without a doubt

like his aim is to make you see stars and boi do you get lost

so you also love to return the favour

and he’s not all that hard to please all you have to do is push the right buttons and say the right things

but you prolong the process on purpose

because you too enjoy seeing him break under you

it’s just that he makes you feel so good about yourself 

he makes you feel like you’re everything he’s ever wanted and then some

will make you come on his fingers

and then lick them clean-

will make you come on his dick next

and break right after he can’t handle you becoming a mess on him

collapses next to you and laughs in disbelief because how good was that?

takes a few moments to gather himself, all the while caressing your skin 

and kissing you- the softest kisses

before he gets up and takes care of you

and he’s so so good at that

he’s cleaning you up, making sure you’re hydrated, helping you into bed and then the cuddlefest starts

lies against the pillows and then shifts you so that you’re basically half-lying on top of him

he loves when you rest your head on his chest, an arm and a leg slung over the top of him too

(half the reason he works out his shoulders and chest is so that you have more pillow surface area hehe)

in these moments he wishes he has three hands

one to hold you against him

one to caress and run through your hair

and one more to hold your hand with :(

he just has to settle for alternating between the three

and all the while he is just constantly. pressing. kisses. against the crown of your head

“i love you”

“i love you too, san”

and not even twenty seconds later

“i love you so much”

“i love you so much too, san”

repeatedly confesses his love to you because it’s true he loves you so much it’s crazy

and when he can hear the sleep starting to cling to your voice, he’ll wish you goodnight

with many more kisses to go along with it <33

he doesn’t let go of you once during the night

Mingi

have you seen his hip rolls-

okay from the start

9/10 times it starts with you cuddling

it’s all good and nice and fluffy and you’re watching something or just scrolling 

he just likes to be in physical contact with you in any way

one of you is mindlessly touching the other- very casual at first

casual kiss on your bare shoulder or you kissing his jaw or knuckles

until one of you is in the mood and starts touching the other with purpose

and wait until the other starts squirming visibly

if you’re in his lap? you’re gonna feel it before he can even tell you

and you turn around all smug

but he doesn’t give you time to react because he will kiss you

he’s also prob really big on makeouts

he just loves the feel of his lips on yours as if they’re made for each other

or his tongue inside your mouth and the way you move under him while he kisses you

will have a good proper makeout session before you proceed

his hands will literally travel everywhere

plays with your breasts as he kisses you

also he will kiss every inch of you

and when he goes down on you?

he knows his nose brushing against your clit is your undoing

and he takes advantage of it

the tip of his nose glistening undoes something in you-

will basically make out with your clit

and make you come multiple times on his fingers and tongue before he gives you what you want

those hands squeezing your hips along with that really don’t help-

eats you out like a man starved

but before that

he’s also the type to get his own fair share of oral

and you would love to please him as well

you want that

you love it when he rolls his hips, clutching your hair, whether his cock is in your mouth or inside you

and when you’re having sex even tho he gives dom energy, he likes you on top

he’s just gonna be holding your hips and making you bounce on him

he’s gonna slow it down, make it bouncy ;) 

your hands on his chest

he’s gonna watch you with those eyes

and groan a lot it fuels you

it drives him crazy when you snake a hand down to your front to circle your own clit

and when you climax and collapse against his chest, he’ll hold you steady against his chest and grip your ass

will plant his feet against the bed so that he can pump up into you

i feel like he can be pretty filthy in the best way

like he likes it messy

he wants to make you a mess in every sense

he will spill inside you all over you and be proud of it and look at the mess like it’s a work of art

and the air smells of sweat, sex and love <3

will probably prompt another round-

if he lets you have your way first, he’s def going to have his way in the second round

and that could entail a lot of things

but at some point, it’s definitely gonna be him pinning your wrists down on the bed with one hand

while his own thighs holds your open

and he makes you see stars with his fingers alone

and at some point

it’s going to be him pounding relentlessly into you, a hand on your back pinning you down to the bed

and the second round is always so much more intense

you think you’re spent? he knows exactly how to get you riled up again

but he knows when you’re tired and done even when you say you want more

so he just turns very soft all of a sudden and kisses you like a boy having his first kiss

because he’s so in love with you :(( 

and then he’s gonna tell you what you mean to him

he’s gonna make you look at him as he tells you how beautiful you are and how you mean the whole world to him

sometimes he sees doubt in your eyes but he won’t go away until he clears it

and then you’re both giggling and he’s looking around wondering what to do

“the towels first, please,” you giggle again and he hops off the bed, laughing to himself

probably drags you in the shower with him too and teases you a lot there

so much that sometimes you have another round there-

always so fun with him innit

but he makes sure you’re fed, hydrated, clean and content before he joins you in bed and the cuddlefest starts

human pillow i said what i said

and he’ll caress your hair or skin as he tells you about something that happened at work or you rant about something that annoyed you today

and he jokes and teases you and you slap his chest and he’s suddenly a laughing mess and you’re joining 

and then at some point, you both fall asleep in each other’s arms <3

Wooyoung

omega vibes.

a bratty sub

and wooyoung literally ousts himself as having a degrading kink

not his heart fluttering when hongjoong bossed him around

he likes to tease you and frustrate you all day

a quick smirk here

a sneaky touch there 

feel like wooyoung would also make you wear vibrating panties or put a remote-controlled vibrator in you

will turn the vibration up at the worst times

like when you’re talking to someone or when it’s super quiet

he’ll give you the cheekiest grin from across the room

especially when a noise accidentally slips out of you

he loves watching you awkwardly fumble and pretend you didn’t just moan

sometimes in the bedroom when he’s pressing the vibrator against your clit, he’ll pull away at the last second just before you reach your orgasm

and he’ll be like oops sorry :))

until the sexual tension makes you snap

he lets you flip him over or pin him against the wall as you kiss his lips swollen and mark his neck until it’s bruised

and you can feel how smug he is

he loves when you show him his place

and when you mark him with hickeys

you’ll push him onto the bed

and sometimes you tie his wrists together

he’s such a brat you can’t help but try and tame him even when you know it’s hopeless

so you just give up midway and he’s all smug and laughing and you’re like okay have your way then

it’s just very fun with him never a boring moment

and feels like a game of who has more control (you’ve got equal points)(you’re both in negative)

you bet he keeps a record of that

also he gets turned on at the strangest of times

you’re cleaning and he saw you bend down to get that dust? he’s turned on

you almost tripped and made the cutest face afterwards and he teases you but you glare at him? he’s turned on

but the same goes for you

all he has to do is roll his sleeves and display his delicious veiny arms while he cooks

and you’re a whining mess

he knows it

we all love wooyoung in the kitchen

speaking of the kitchen-

no one would eat the food he makes if they knew how many times he’s fucked you on the countertop lol

but he fucks you on every surface he can so-

he loves going down on you mostly because of the noises you make when he’s eating you out

and he knows exactly what move of his tongue or lips against your core earns what noise

he knows you have a thing for his nose digging into your clit too 

so he’s gonna make the most of it ;) 

will let your thighs squeeze him as he makes out with your clit

but when he pushes them apart? the veins on his arms pop and you can’t help but run your fingers all over them 

his arms are just such a work of art

and then he’s trailing kisses up your body and kissing you as if he’s short on breath

also has a thing for fisting your hair when you go down on him 

and oh goodness does he make the most pretty sounds you’ve ever heard

basically the two of you live to rile the other up no matter what way it is <3

when he’s finally inside you, he’s either taking full control or just letting you do whatever you want there’s no in-between

mostly it’s the latter because he loves to see you ride him

but just because you’re on top of him doesn’t mean you’ve got full control. he makes sure you know that

because he is going to pound into you from under you and make you see stars <3

aftercare is something ingrained in him

it’s like he gets all his energy back just to take care of you :(( 

he’s fussing over you, not letting you move before he cleans you up and makes you drink or eat something

he has to give the green light for you and at this point, you let him

because who wouldn’t enjoy a fussy woo??

and then he’s like “let’s shower together ;) “ and you’re like

“ah. is that what all of this was for?”

not complaining though

but the best part about showering together isn’t another round- that’s rare

you simply love it when you’re washing each other up

he loves when you shampoo his hair and massage his scalp

and he rubs the knots out of your neck or arms or thighs

wherever you might be feeling sore from your escapades lol

there’s still a couple of teasing remarks and wandering hands here and there

but he makes sure you’re all warm and dry before he tucks you into bed or wraps you in a huge fluffy blanket on the couch

he’ll insist that you do nothing while he cooks up a small meal for you two because if you two hadn’t become distracted during the process of making dinner, then you two are hungry from the energy you’ve expended LOL

and when he’s made sure you’re absolutely full he’ll cuddle you until you both succumb to food coma

Jongho

we all know he’s not physically affectionate

but boi does it look like he’s been doing this all his life

big on foreplay

gets you all hot and bothered first with the way his fingers run over your arms or your thighs

gentle squeezes in between or like something muttered in your ear

until you can’t take it anymore and you make the first move

slow kisses are his things like he loves the intimacy when you’re just making out like you have all the time in the world

and he’s shy at first def, will laugh and joke between kisses just so he can get super comfortable

before he turns into a monster

peppers kisses all over your face :( 

has a knack for making you feel like you’re the most precious thing in this world

to him you are <3

has a thing for necks

will kiss your neck and your sweet spot until it turns red

probably nibble on it too he’d love to see you marked by him

will trail kisses all the way down

will play with your breasts for the longest time as well

just teasing you and making a mess out of you

before he lets his fingers touch you down there and find you already soaked

and god does it give him an ego boost

anddd that’s where things get interesting

watches your every move when he touches you down there 

and has a shit-eating grin on his face throughout 

(which you love you’re not even gonna complain)

he’s gonna make you come multiple times on his fingers that’s a given

he loves to watch you move under him and will probably have a hand on your stomach to brace you and refrain your movements

which drives you so fucking crazy

you’re going to beg for him before he ever lets his cock near you

and when he’s ready for that, he’ll make it so agonisingly slow

will 100 percent grip your thighs as he spreads them apart and just let you feel him against you

before he enters you

he takes a moment to relish in the feeling of your tight walls against him- he can never get enough of that

will pump slowly into you first before it becomes rushed and then-

uses his strength to manhandle you into the position that he wants

he’ll hook his arms under your knees and pound you against the wall pls i need holy water stat

in your bedroom, in your living room, in the shower

omg when he gets all sweaty

and his muscles are glistening as they ripple with his movements lol

dom.

growls in your ears

smacks your ass 100 percent. 

it drives him crazy to feel you trembling against him

or the way your nails dig into his shoulders and drag down his back as he fucks you

he thrives on the sounds you make to the point you’d almost think he’s getting off on that alone

if you come before him, he won’t stop pounding into you until he does

and boi does he still have some stamina left

but you have all the time in the world so he’ll take it slow again

build it up

make you want him again before he touches you

and it just keeps getting more heated, more interesting as the night gets darker

will make sure you’re not overwhelmed though, he really doesn’t want you to feel weird at any point of it all

he wants what you want, to the point you sometimes have to beg him to tell him what he wants

because he’s always focused on pleasuring you and you want to return the favour too

so on the rare occasions that he does let you take the reins, you make it a night he won’t forget ;)

by the time you’re done you’re so tired but this man still has some stamina

so he takes you to the shower with him and washes you up :( <3

dries your hair for you too :( 

you’re so sleepy by now but he’ll carry you to bed :(

and then you cuddle and make jokes until you fall asleep feeling the most content ever

and even though jongho is starting to feel tired too, he fights to stay awake just so that he can cherish the feeling of you in his arms for just a little longer

presses soft little kisses on your forehead and down the tip of your nose and over your cheeks and along your jaw

he’s so soft please

when he really can’t hold off sleep any longer he’ll tuck you closer under his chin before he drifts off too with a smile on his face

has the audacity to giggle at you with his gummy smile when he sees you hobbling the next day because you’re kinda sore

but he’ll be at your beck and call for anything you need the rest of the day <3

#idk who wrote this i dont recognise her #ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong smut #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa smut #yunho x reader #yunho smut #yeosang x reader #yeosang smut #san x reader #choi san smut #mingi x reader #mingi smut #wooyoung x reader #wooyoung smut #jongho x reader #jongho smut #ateez hard hours

[riacte]

Space Opera AU dashboard simulator

🥧 syrupstars Follow

Anyone else think that Red King racer is a little... y'know... fruity?

👑 falsewellsupremacy Follow

He literally says "ladies, gentlemen, everyone in between, get in line" so I think that answers your question.

🥧 syrupstars Follow

What about the "#Ally4Life 🏳️‍🌈" on his Twilight handle?

👑 falsewellsupremacy Follow

I genuinely have no idea. Maybe he thinks it's about him being an ally to cishet people

#idk ren's just like that sometimes #void knows what he's doing #also prev tags you do not want to get into the black hole of who ren has dated #he has rumours with 3/4 of the grid #edit: WHO MENTIONED BAD BOY TEENAGE REN IN MY NOTES #the shippers are here... oh no #edit 2: not ren at the club.

74 notes

🛑 bluebatshater Follow

oh my voiddd ofc That Duo got p1 again... i need them to dnf in the race. i hope they crash and burn and die and i need crastle to get podium for ONCE. i am so mad. i am calling for the goddess tsuki to curse them. dnf dnf crash burn DIE

🌻 lesbianlumian Follow

the goddess tsuki LITERALLY protects racers and that's why they pray to her? you think the goddess tsuki, creator of lumians, will curse an actual lumian? be so fucking fr

🛑 bluebatshater Follow

if you dont have anything productive to say get off my post. freak

#those blue bats stannies are SO ANNOYING THEY ARE EVERYWHERE #they're overshadowing all the other teams #cant even be a bitchy hater in peace #salt #negativity #hateposting

12 notes

🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow

OMG FALSE IS SO PRETTY SHES MY QUEEN OF HEARTS OMG OMGOMGOGM 💖💖💖💖💖💖 i tihnk im gonna pass out. HER HAIR FLYING IN THE WIND AND HER RED FRECKLES AND HER SMILE WHY IS MY HEART BEATING SO FAST and Ren is hot I guess he's tall like a ferris wheel

🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow

Looking at posts from five years ago is funny like how did I ever believe I was straight

🍦 jelliepopsicle Follow

OP, I think I recognise your url... did you write that viral Bad Boy Ren x QoH fic on Launchpad?

🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow

💀 Shut the fuck up right NOWWW!!

#STOP MENTIONING THAT FIC I WFOTE WHEN I WAS THIRTEEEN!!! #everything before my gay awakening is not canon. sorry #tbh... as much as a nightmare it was i kinda miss that stupid fic #it was from a simpler time #now im in university trying to contact my groupmates and i think one of them got lost in a blackhole last tuesday (again) #sigh. this keeps on happening to me #my cousin worked on one of the moons last summer for two weeks and came back like he'd aged six months #my friend's ex got sucked into a black hole and was briefly spaghettified but they managed to revive her and she gloats that she's finally taller than my friend's ex #whoops sorry for dumping in the notes #anyways. bad boy rk x good girl queen of hearts. awful idea. even more awful fic. yet i wrote it #i regret everything and nothing

25 notes

🗣️ peace-and-planets-deactivated63891092

PSA: Sunblr user @/summerheavens writes RPF of the Exterra 1 racers. She is a big name fan in the Miraculous Laserbug fandom so I thought you all would like to know. This is gross and disgusting behaviour and I implore you to stop.

🍬 summerheavens Follow

umm @/peace-and-planets i literally saw your kudos on my fic. the evidence is out there. girl what are YOU doing at the devil's sacrament. what are you doing on my roseduo rpf titled "hang your head low in the glow of the vending machine (we're not trying)".

but i'm glad you liked it enough to give it a kudos ^_^ will certainly be putting more on the starchive!

❄️ justwingit Follow

LMFAOOOO OP DEACTIVATEDDDDD 😭😭😭 sunblr user got killed by a rpf author. if you're gonna secretly read rpf maybe not leave a kudos?????

🚀 exterrablrheritage

Exterra 1 Heritage Post

⚡ littlewoodbabygirl69

It's been ten years since this post... @/summerheavens are you okay after recent developments

🍬 summerheavens Follow

am i okay? is ANYONE okay??? in these trying times??????? with the most chaotic gp to ever exist?????? i am PULLING OUT WIPS i dropped out of respect ten years ago. i've got to send my kid to daycare but once i'm done you bet you're seeing me on the starchive. miss swift even dropped her 20th album just in time for me to use lyrics as titles. i am LIVING and i am THRIVING

#ohhhhhhhhhh #let's go #also can't believe taylor finally addressed the vehicle manslaughter rumours from like twenty years ago #how fitting #also littlewood needs to get his shit together #why does he look like he's the one who hasn't seen his man in 32738102371 years and got his soul shattered #he's weak and won't survive the winter

27,408 notes

🧈 butteredbread Follow

WHAT is wrong with that lykos. i desire him carnally

🌳 treebark

@/handoftheking

🪓 handoftheking

I mean... yeah. Let's face it, we're all like that 🤷

⭐ nonbinarystar Follow

MR LITTLEWOOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

#WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM #I HATE HIM SO MUCH #PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS CAN ALSO BE ABOUT HATE #THIS GLOWSTICK MF IS MY WORST ENEMY #he just canonised treebark for the sixth time #also prev tags so real #need to slingshot him into a faraway galaxy

34,091 notes

🫃 spaceshipmpreg Follow

Who put that Just a Dream FalseRen AMV on my dash again

🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow

Respect your roots!! That 125M views Just a Dream AMV raised a generation. Every kid in my school played it on loop on their ipods during recess

🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow

wait op can you explain your url

🫃 spaceshipmpreg Follow

No 👍

#i think we should get the dogwarts freighter pregnant

6 notes

#long post #space opera au #queenofstarz03 my beloved space internet npc #idk..... i lost my mind making this #was fun tho #girl help im stuck at the devils sacrament. im building the devil's sacrament #treebark #trafficshipping #hermitshipping #just in case #dashboard simulator #unreality

[saezurumurmurs]

I have so many thoughts about the season 3 ending of potn and I figured you would enjoy them. 1. In-hun is alive. (It was a former servant's body they found in the well and Min was lying to Na-Kyum to get him to break. Also, while Min was pleading for his life he asked if Seungho wanted to know where he got In-hun's glasses from) 2. Min and gang killed Heena (You can see them put a bag and rope over her head when Na-Kyum is brought unconscious to Min, idk if anyone saw that. Rip queen, you were our only named female character) 3. Na-Kyum learned some tricks from his noonas (not Heena) because when he gave Seungho head that last time he surprised Seungho and it was good. 4) I also dont believe Seungho was intending to kill any of them (he left Jihwa alive) until he saw Na-Kyum all bloody and unconscious. Oh, and I love the growth Seungho had from first telling Na-Kyum he couldnt apologize due to their social standing after finding out he had been kidnapped the first time but how he would make it up to him to apologizing for not coming sooner to save him (with tears!) I just needed to get that out there because I am losing my mind how did I miss them the first read through

Thanks for your comments Anon!

First... I 150% agree with you that that Dry Twat Inhun is alive. Shit floats, and that one is a log...

Narratively, killing Inhun off at this point in this story wouldn’t make sense. Seungho and Nakyum are at a point in their interactions where they are in no doubt as to their feelings for each other.

This debacle with Min may or may not add pressure to those feelings. My guess is it will immediately strengthen it... but to provide grist and drama for another season, we will need a much more delicate emotional assault on the fortress of SeungKum’s love.

I think if and when we do see Jackass Inhun again, his current placement, whether as a ranked official in the government, or someone with less power and desperate in some way, will influence the nature of the drama.

Will it be Inhun or Daddy Yoon as the final boss in this story? Or maybe both battles must be fought simultaneously?

Regarding Seungho’s murderous intentions: I absolutely think Seungho meant to kill someone over Nakyum in that room. He went there prepared to do whatever, and murder was and is the least of his moral concerns.

This story started with a casual murder.

Jihwa escaped Seungho’s Sword for the sole reason that they were childhood friends, former lovers and Jihwa told him where Nakyum was.

But slicing off Jihwa’s topknot is as good as death for someone like Jihwa. Possibly worse in terms of prospects, but it is definitely Seungho being merciful.

In my chapter log for this episode E101 “Limb By Limb” wrote:

In Joseon Korea, a topknot signified manhood and adulthood. Regardless of age, the topknot symbolised you taking a man's part in your family, and all the privileges it afforded. It usually happened around the age a young man married, but it could be bestowed at any age. It is a symbol of the nobility to be sure, but it was a greater symbol of adult privilege and allowed your ancestors to recognise and bless you.

Seungho cutting Jihwa's topknot, cuts him off from all of that. It removes Jihwa publicly and no doubt privately from his family's respect and regard as an adult, the grace and protection of his ancestors and the privilege of nobility in a society that prized the male top-knot's symbolism almost above all others.

This story started with a casual murder.

With Seungho’s high state of agitation and emotional distress, the mere fact he was able to leave Jihwa alive, is a testament to his growth and the changes in him.

This is as merciful as Seungho was ever willing to be with anyone who stole Nakyum or had a hand in it. And while it was clear that Jihwa did not steal Nakyum, no fool, Seungho knew Jihwa was involved if he knew where to find Nakyum and his name was being used as a front.

So that’s why Seungho’s mercy left Jihwa breathing and without access to his privileged world.

But to have found Nakyum battered, bruised... sexual assaulted; in a situation he himself knew too well... naked and forced to endure the licentious whims of captors, it would have triggered every instinct in him. .. Everyone there had to get it, regardless the depths of their culpability.

Just to be sure, he crept up on them and heard all their doings. And Seungho is not normally a restrained, measured man, known for controlling his anger, no one was coming out of there besides he and Nakyum.

And that’s why I disagree with your assertion that he never went there to kill anyone.

He went there with his sword open... and that is a declaration for anyone trained to use one or defend against one.

With regards to the changes in Seungho, I assert in my log for E102 “Frozen Tracks of My Tears”:

Seungho's redemption is one of the best stories I've read... regardless of genre.

Because this is a tale about Seungho and his redemption. Hear me out!

While we get Seungho’s story in flashbacks and indirectly, Seungho is the only character without a real point of view. He is always viewed and described, filtered by and cast against the backdrop of others. We never really know what he’s thinking or feeling unless he directly tells someone.

But this story is ABOUT SEUNGHO. Everyone else in the story serves his character’s growth and arc of redemption.... we think of him as a rescuer, but Nakyum and he rescued each other. We think of him as wicked and debauched, and Nakyum as pure. But as we are seeing, and I have written from my earliest logs, Nakyum is just as broken and fractured as Seungho... just as lost when they met. Nakyum isn’t that pure, just because he was a virgin, and Seungho not that irredeemable, just because he lacks filters and restraints.

Final note... I do wonder about Heena. If she was dead, or sold off to somewhere else, or still unconscious under a sack somewhere? I think it would hurt Nakyum to know Heena was killed in this way, but he would unequivocally know Seungho was not involved... and Seungho would comfort him in his grief.

But, I’m still holding out a little hope for Heena... just like that jackass Lord who fell asleep in the snow, she may be knocked out somewhere unconscious and awaiting the descent of the authorities.

** fingers crossed even though she a damn busybody **

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me... I agree with much, and I’ve explained my disagreements. Do come and share with me again.,.. and feel free to disagree with me too! I love a respectful debate about plotting and metaphors.

#painter of the night seungho #painter of the night nakyum #painterofthenight #painter of the night #potn analysis #potn season 3 #potn meta #yahwacheop #byeonduck

[dallonm-archive]

REVELATIONS, REVELATIONS | UPDATE #1

Hello y’all! I refuse to believe it’s been 3 and a half months since I last made an update post for this novel because time is not real :) whoops! This has actually been sat in my drafts for like a month though 

A rundown of things that happened: 

We have a new title! I already went into the meta and possible interpretations (it’s ~ambiguous~), so if you want you can read about that HERE.

I did 3 weeks of Nano and wrote 15k words! On the site I recorded 15053 but I think it was more 15.5k? I’ve edited the original doc now so idk but I’m v happy with that!

After that I took a break and a lot of Life Things happened re a certain pandemic that is taking :) all my motivation :) so I didn’t return to drafting until January. I also really struggled to progress with the story and decided the best thing was to revisit what I already had and work on that

It’s not that the original chapters weren’t working, I was just trying to understand the story for the first time and also Nano was such a hazy blur and I’m 99% sure November didn’t happen. I probably won’t revisit a section this intensely again until I’ve finished the draft but at this stage it really helped because the more I worked on it, the more I understood where it had to go next - I know the structure (for now), the basics for the middle and how the story ends :) hehe :) and I don’t think I’d had those revelations (aha) without revisiting this first part. I got to fall in love with the story all over again and I’m very happy with where it’s going!

This intro is already getting so long so I’m just going to jump straight into it because this update is LONG. I’m talking about all the chapters today even though not all of them are new, but since I’ve learnt a lot about them and this is officially update #1 post-nano, it makes sense to talk about all of them! I’m also going to do a new taglist because I see this as a new set of updates also I am awful at keeping up with taglists so! I’m just tagging friends who have already expressed interest + mutuals who I’m like 99% sure want to stay on so! please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed! 

@kowlazovdi​ @isherwoodj​ @avi-burton-writing​ @pamsdrabbles​ @ryns-ramblings​ @kitblogsthings​ @svpphicwrites​ @aetherwrites​ @radiomacbeth​ @bijouxs​ @writerlywonders​ @haldimilks​ @alicewestwater​ @piyawrites​ @coffeeandcalligraphy​ @shaelinwrites​

usual content warnings for religious trauma and cult discussion, specific CWs will come before excerpts!

So I’m currently working with four parts, and I’ve extended the timeline from one year to four years. This suits the story much better BUT pretty much everything here was written before that decision and I do not have the energy to restructure all of it right now :) Each part is split into two sections, one for each POV. So four parts, 8 sections, Felix and Dorothy get four sections each. I let the structure grow with the story but this one is working very well!

Also I started setting my pages to light green and it was LIFE CHANGING. Much kinder on the eyes and just looks so nice?? Calming?? This post is your sign to set your page colour to light green like LOOK

So we have a prologue now!! The story made a lot more sense once I added this because originally the information we learn was just shoehorned into Chapter 1 in a flashback when really we needed to know this information going into it. That being said I struggled with this for a bit just because to justify a prologue I need that information to be conveyed in a way that is completely unique to the rest of the narrative so I didn’t want to just write this as a flashback. I ended up writing it in 2nd person and it came out in a way where it’s not clear which twins POV it is? Like it’s more of a fusion of both of them where neither of them have their own individual identity beyond “the twins” yet. I can’t tell if this is my funky POV peak or a clarity nightmare but I like it! I want it to only be ~500 words so we can take the risk.

In this they’re fourteen and they do a “blood pact” as a way to symbolically cut themselves from their family (aka: their father) whilst they’re still tethered to it. I really love it because not only is it exactly what these slightly unhinged-but-havent-tapped-into-it-yet, co-dependent-and-dont-realise-it kids would do but it immediately brings up the question of family and what family actually is. I’ve also realised a huge idea in this story is the idea of the tangible and for them, the concept of family and blood isn’t tangible so they struggle to recognise its significance (not that it. has any for them in the first place.) but their relationship, seeing each other bleed and pressing the cuts together is. The writing itself is kinda wonky because of the whole funky clarity nightmare POV but here’s a little taste of the ending:

cw: blood

You’ll slink back into your family room to clean and plaster each other’s hands and you’ll ask yourselves: which bloodstains came from who? Who bled the most and who stopped first? Who will come up with the story for the cuts on your palms and who will dispose the bloodied towel? Who is Dorothy without Felix and who is Felix without Dorothy?

Shiny new first chapter! Originally this was in Dorothy’s POV but now it’s switched to Felix and instead of just showing their reunion (which turns out is....very anticlimactic and not appropriate for an opening lol??) we actually explore Felix’s thoughts an actions after he decides to escape the cult, which was a very impulsive decision and spans about a day and a half. This one is definitely gonna take a few drafts to get right because it’s such a delicate but intense event to write and I’m content with the fact that it’s not There Yet but the prose is! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter and it really helped me get back into the swing of loving this story. There’s something very delicate about it but also very troubling under the surface. The opening gave me a lot of trouble, but the first line hits!

The day Felix decides to leave the sun glows the same, and the pine trees breathe the same, and the chapel cross stabs the sky the same. 

Ironically, a good chunk of the chapter happens outside the cult, as Felix decides to spend his final day taking Lola - a woman his age who is literally the only person he likes lmao - to one of the nearby towns. Whilst the main function of the chapter is to introduce the cult itself, it’s also to show how normalised leaving actually is - it’s just every time he’s left has been temporary, and every time he has left, he still feel separated from this “outside world”. They go to a candy store and a thrift store - where Felix lies about his mom (who he hasn’t seen in 20 years) being in hospital so he can use a phone :) Lola is a new character so I don’t have much to say on her, but all I can say is they are wlw and mlm solidarity but also she knows how to read him 

“I don’t know why Dotty and I loved this place so much - we always got  toothaches.”

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

“These apple ones are nice, but I think the lime is my favourite. Do you think the apple or the lime is nicer?”

“I think you’re leaving, but I also think you’re scared, so you’re pretending that I’m going to leave with you and that’s why you wanted to go to town. You chose the candy shop because this is where you went the first time you left, but this time you’re not coming back. Does that scare you, Fel?”

And here is my favourite paragraph in the whole chapter because <3 what the fuck <3 and if pine trees are a key Felix symbol no they aren’t 👁️ yes they are

cw: falling out a window? pushing yourself out a window? description of bones breaking

The day Felix decides the leave, when the clouds bleed amber, he pushes the scratched mahogany dresser so it lines with the windowsill, lies on top and hangs his head out. It’s never comfortable, but it’s always peaceful: sometimes cars murmur on nearby backroads, sometimes a wind chime flutters, sometimes brush rabbits rustle in shrubbery and they all breathe the same oxygen as him. He closes his eyes, inhales the pine air, and plays God: pushes himself further out, an inch at a time, until his shoulders cross the line and he wonders what bones would break if he fell. Would he break both arms or one, both legs or one? Would he break his spine? Which vertebra would crack, and how many? Would he feel them all in one big strike, or all the individual bones burst like popping candy? Evening breeze whispers against his face and he could do it right now, leap out the window and if he didn’t break his legs or back he could run to the bushes, to the pine trees, to the road, the town over East or West, the county line.

If Felix hit the ground, would it be because of a freak fall, or because he pushed himself out?

We have to laugh because I’m pretty sure I said in my Nano update that this chapter was the strongest so far besides one scene but when I looked back that scene <3 took up 80% of the fucking chapter <3 So I just said fuck it I’ll rewrite the whole thing for fun!!!! And I love it!!! It’s so jarring compared to Chapter One and that’s the point!! Everything is so over saturated and originally that was just to convey the absolute shock Felix gets from the Major Impulsive Life Decision He Just Made, but now I think it’s intentional on his part and it goes back to the idea of the tangible: whilst he didn’t grow up totally isolated this is still a new life for him, and he has nothing to latch onto, so he looks to his surroundings and hyper-focuses and latches onto it because it’s something that’s now tangible and accessible to him so he sees it in this very bright, romanticised way (the romanticisation of San Francisco is very amusing to me but it’s also very relevant). But even with that he still distances himself from this environment still - the same way he did whilst living in the cult. He has no idea how he wants to exist in this world and he doesn’t even know how to exist yet.

And so it became clockwork: eyes burst open at two, three, four in morning, doesn’t bother trying to fall back to sleep. Lurk into the kitchen, make a coffee or water or whiskey. Sit under the fritzing lightbulb with no shade, think about everything and nothing and everything and nothing. Or go for a smoke, inhale the vapours until it hurts his chest, breathe in the cool air until it hurts his teeth, wander around the block until it hurts his feet. Sneak back into a room that doesn’t belong to him in an apartment that doesn’t belong to him in a city that doesn’t belong to him. Count the bumps in the popcorn ceiling until footsteps sneak down the hall – Dorothy leaving a room that doesn’t belong to her. Join his sister back at the kitchen, she complains that they need to replace the lightbulb. Over pulpy orange juice and scrambled eggs on toast, she retells her dream and lists the possible meanings and he lists his plans for that day on how to immerse in the outside world, familiarise himself with the city until it belongs to him. Travel by trolley for the first time, eat seafood at the waterfront for the first time. Bump into a cherry-headed conure parrot by chance. Climb Twin Peaks and gaze at the new view of home. Trace the outline of translucent mountains in the air and pretend you’ll ever hike them; trace the outline of high rises in the air and pretend you know the people in them. He asks Dorothy when he’ll stop feeling like a tourist – she has no answer for him.

(context: Dorothy’s roommate, Jolie, is out of town at this point, so Dorothy tells Felix to take her room whilst she takes Jolie’s and they’ll sort it out later. Dorothy has no problem sleeping in Jolie’s bed because her and Jolie are Very Good Friends)

I also realised that, in the nicest way possible to November me, that this chapter was so damn boring because it’s very dialogue heavy but in every dialogue moment they are literally just 🧍 doing nothing. So I wrote a scene as a half-joke of Just Met Like Three Hours Ago Beau and Felix going to the arcade and it saved this chapter. It is SO fun but it also comes straight after this very emotionally intense moment and it’s really interesting to see that reach its zenith and then just. fizzle out but linger in the background? I love this scene but I also can’t take it too seriously because they play Frogger and @aetherwrites​ joked that the game’s a metaphor for Felix leaving the cult and I love her and hate her because she is so right I can picture the LIT1000 seminar where that analysis would be made unironically and it’d be ME who makes it and I am so close to just running with that for real. Also these two aren’t love at first sight but the chemistry is so loud like did you two meet today or have you been married for eight years and own five dogs together what’s the truth? Anyway here’s Felix murdering Beau on sight 

“You know, you could’ve warned me that you’d be that good,” Beau says.

“It’s not that difficult, you could’ve warned me that you’d be that bad.”

Beau leans across to shuffle through cassette tapes in the glove compartment. “I’m not, you just got lucky. I let you win.”

“But it’s not even competitive. You just died seven times in a row.”

I’m a little unsure of the pacing for this chapter now because its effectiveness lies in the fact it takes place a week after the previous, and my job with this section post-draft is to stretch it out longer since it only spans three weeks. I’m hoping I can make it work where there’s little time between Chapter 1 & 2 but still cover more time in chapters 3-5 because I think that’d be jarring in the best way? Like the absolute intensity of that initial week quickly dissolving and suddenly he’s been living this life for months he didn’t notice go by. Again <3 a problem for post draft me <3

I don’t have much to say about this one because in Nano I didn’t even finish it, and now I have but it’s still <3 giving me trouble <3 - however I’ve realised this is probably the most important chapter at this stage of the novel because it’s the first full chapter with just the twins, trying to have a bonding moment and catch up but only learning that they a) love each other b) can’t stand each other whilst not realising just yet that they are c) extremely co-dependent. I like to call this novel multiple plot threads in a trench coat and that’s definitely it, the twins have their own individual plot threads separate to one another, but if there’s a central plot (and there kinda is?? its a surprise :) ) at its essence is them realising how fucked up their relationship is, but wanting to rectify that and trying to understand the difference between a tangled and toxic relationship. 

This chapter introduces that each character has a key symbol that’s attached to the world somehow and Felix has chapters like these in his arc where he tries to navigate the state of their relationship (so there’s one later on titled “Ocean (Beau)”) and his associations with them. We have to laugh here because I was really like “oh Dorothy is sapphic so I’ll make her obsessed with the moon” but then it became a major symbol in the story <3 Dorothy IS obsessed with the moon, and Felix is frustrated because he can’t see it the way she does and he feels like part of him is missing because of that, when it’s just a different perspective but nooo these two need to have unhealthy co-dependency and then get mad when they’re unhealthily co-dependent on each other :/ Anyway I’d just like to talk about how Felix’s need to be like his sister in this chapter is demonstrated through a symbol that’s attached way more to her than it is to him even though in the prose he describes the moon as this fragile, breakable thing which is the complete opposite as how Dorothy would and lets talk about the blade mirroring the prologue!!!!

He closed an eye and pointed the blade at the moon. If he could, it’d be so easy: surgeons precision, swift wrist flick, carved and plucked from the sky. Laid out on his palm like tissue paper, half translucent and as breakable as skin - a birthday present for Dorothy, if he doesn’t tear it. He’ll try not to, but it’d be so easy.

In further development of the Moon Imagery, I’ve started using a lot of Star Imagery with Felix and a lot of general space imagery in both of their POVs and I’m delighted to say I have no idea what the meta means with that but I like it!! It fits the story very well and they’re probably mirroring each other or something!

This little chapter taught me that I need to be flexible with form <3 this was originally meant to be the final scene of the last chapter, and I was so hyped because it was one of the first scenes I conceptualised, but then it ~sucked~. However I didn’t realise until recently that it sucked because I was writing it in a traditional storytelling form - which most of this book benefits from, but this moment certainly does! not! I’m really glad because I think this book is the perfect playground for experimental form - although here it’s relatively simple though, most of the setup for this happens at the end of the previous chapter and then this is just all the information condensed as much as possible. This chapter is focused on memories so it really works for it to be cut off from the previous which is in the fictive present, and Felix’s perception of memories right now are ~a little jarring~

The final scene of Moon (Dotty) depicts Felix and Dorothy breaking into a park at 4am, promptly having an argument that results in Dorothy leaving, and Felix sat next to a fountain picking pennies out of it and trying to associate a memory with the year on the back - this chapter is those memories and this introduces the fluid relationship characters have with their past. For Felix, he’s seeing the last 20+ years from a bird eyes view in a very sporadic way and it’s starting to sink in that those 20+ years actually Happened. Some of the memories are very distanced, others are as intense as flashbacks, and some are a mixture of the two. This one is very interesting to me because he completely separates himself from the memory halfway through Fel do you wanna talk about this (unfortunately I cannot drop the name because of plot <3)

cw: light/implied homophobia

IN GOD WE TRUST / 1978

The first time Felix held a boys hand was in 1978 in the back pew at morning service. It was the first time [redacted]’s father preached and they got stuck in the back because they arrived late, because they laid in the grass together, wearing each other’s identical pecan coloured blazers as sunrise peeled back the night, and they slunk into the back of service like ghosts everyone could see and maybe they knew why they were late. [Redacted]’s father had a razor voice and he made sure every word sliced into his son and his son interlocked fingers with the boy next to him. His son didn’t look at the boy he held hands with the same way he’ll pretend his blazer is his and not the boys and the same way he didn’t look at the boy the first time they kissed behind the chapel building and the same way he didn’t look at the boy during Bible study for the week after.

Whilst I’d say in Chapter 2 the chemistry between Beau and Felix is as clear as day this is the first instance where Felix’s queerness is explicitly introduced and I’m taking this chance to say this book gets more queer every fucking week. Like I think in the last updates I was like ohhh sexuality doesn’t play much into Felix’s arc and know it’s like 99% of his damn arc and we LOVE it. But at this point he doesn’t realise like when I tell you guys this man is so repressed

I am literally only putting this here because I talk about all the other chapters and it’s weird to me to leave one out. Also because the graphic and title is pretty. Not gonna lie I love making these posts and that is 10% to ramble about meta 90% making pretty graphics that is literally just cropping photos on Unsplash and putting Garamond text over them <3

Anyway this was originally Lessons in Holy and when I revisited that chapter I realised it was so fucking messy and I tried to fix it but it didn’t really work and I’ve been scared to touch it since. However the meta is top notch so here we are - it mirrors Chapter One, Everything Holy, which explores Felix’s decision to leave the cult and with that, leave God. Everything Holy / In San Francisco explores his relationship (or lack thereof) with God and how much Felix’s life has changed since he left - and how “holy” it is. It definitely goes back to the idea of the tangible because the holiness preached to him growing up was not something tangible to him, whereas with this he looks at real life experiences, so he tries to find holiness in that. It also ties with Cyan City and the romanticisation of San Francisco as something tangible and something he can find holiness in, which a) he needs to learn that things don’t have to be “holy” to be valuable and b) it would be a shame if :) he centred everything good about his life around SF and then :) something bad were to happen whilst living in SF :) the way he and Dorothy both do this

My plan for this is basically: Condense The Shit Out Of It. The hardest part about this chapter is it is very thematic and you know as a lit major (derogatory) I love that but with more theme centric chapters the line between subtle and Too Much can be verrryyy thin, but I think focusing on character exploration over theme will fix that pretty easily. I’d also like to separate the Isaias introduction into its own chapter because it’s such an important moment and November me just? Latched it on at the end? And that plus Felix’s crisis in the same chapter is just too much. This chapter is gonna get changed A Lot but for now here’s Felix’s very chill and relaxed ending to his POV section :)

cw: drowning, drug mention

Felix didn’t speak to God for three weeks and everything unholy became holy: the coffee scorching his throat, the kaleidoscopic t-shirts and high waisted jeans, the punk rock they play at the record store – loud and electric. It’s unholy, but he sleeps through the night now, he folds coloured card into butterflies at breakfast and scribbles biro eyes over the newspaper's sudoku on his lunch break. He earns money and he spends a pinch of it on himself: on new wave records and playing cards and earrings he can’t wear yet. Sometimes he buys marijuana it’s not a sin because marijuana means he only smokes tobacco twice a day now – one at breakfast, one before bed. He bar hops with Beau on Saturdays and hikes with Dorothy on Sundays and he tells strangers he studies American Literature and he smiles with his eyes more and nobody notices that somebody’s holding his head underwater. And he doesn’t know whose hand it is, but it knows how to grip tight. And he doesn’t know how to swim, but he knows how to swallow water. And he doesn’t know if this is the punishment or the sin because the water stings his eyes but he chooses to keep them open, and the water will tangle in his lungs but he chooses to keep his mouth open. And hellfire can’t touch him under here, so he’ll keep swallowing water and it’ll burn him in a different way, and he’ll like how it scorches his throat.

(Once again context I didn’t share because I don’t like the writing that talks about it: Felix has a deep fear of drowning from past trauma, but he’s also very obsessive about it and often imagines himself drowning.)

(also the way these excerpts are just showing off my love for repetition my Intro to Creative Writing Tutor that called repetition lazy is seething rn!!!!)

Overall though, I’m v happy with how this section came out now that I actually know what the story is! As I’ve finished drafting it, I have noticed where the missing plot beats are and this is what I expected because I Do Not have a lot of experience with novels (I’ve never passed 15k on a novel before so we’re in new territory now) and generally struggle to see beats before I finish a draft. I’m thinking there’s at least one chapter missing and maybe a shorter one, like MSATBOTF, but I won’t be touching this section again until I finish the draft. Most of all I learnt a lot about the story’s form and I’m excited to play with that and be a bit more flexible! 

I’m currently drafting Indigo, the first chapter in Dorothy’s POV, and I was going to talk more about it but this post is too long and the next update will be <3 all about her <3. But the chapter introduces her and Jolie’s tumultuous relationship and here’s a lil peak! 

Me, a sapphic, capable of writing happy sapphic relationships: 

Me instead: 

cw: light/implied homophobia

If she didn’t display the ticket on the bedside table - like she had something to prove - she could have easily been in Dallas, in New York, London, Cannes, Moscow, Tokyo, Cairo, Sydney. But wherever she went, Dorothy and Jolie have had four airport reunions before today - four times they’ve had to soften themselves, disguise themselves. Old high school friend flying in to be her maid of honour, college roommates who don’t see each other as a day past eighteen, pen pals reuniting for the first time since the seventies, business trip colleagues in casualwear. The fifth time, there’s nothing to hide, and as they walk to the car, Dorothy has to wonder: if they were seen by nobody, would Jolie have hugged her with both arms? Would she have kissed her? Would Dorothy kiss back?

I’m midway through this chapter, so I’ll keep the rest of it for the next update! That I promise won’t be in three months!

If you read through all of this then I am in love with you <3 

#i'd say im sorry this is so long but it was so fun to write so i'm not! #also pls be proud i cut 2k words from this bc i RAMBLED #atlastracking #writeblr #writing update #revelations revelations

[waatermelon-sugaar]

Which of your fics?

Tagged by @brandyllyn thanks so much I love these things!!

Which fic got a better reaction than you expected?

Cold (Santi x f!reader). It was my first fic so I wasn’t expecting much and then a couple of months after I published it it was recommnded by someone and I suddenly realised it was over 100 notes! That day was good, I never expected my first fic to be so popular.

Which fic is your funniest?

Idk I’m funnier in real life I promise. Maybe Choose Me (Richard x gn!reader) or Rules of Sabaac (Poe x gn!reader). But yeah my writing isn’t that funny yet? idk

Which fic is your darkest/angstiest?

Oof. I don’t really write angst, but Drunk Calling (Santi x gn!reader), although I don’t really like that fic, but my next Poe fic is turning out Very Angst-y

Which fic was the easiest to write?

Bliss (FO!Poe x f!reader) and Want to Kiss (Poe x f!reader) were both so easy. I knew exactly what I wanted to happen, and they both got written in nearly one go.

Which fic is your absolute favourite?

Honestly I don’t know.

Want to Kiss was just so easy to write and includes pretty much all of my favourite tropes (fake dating for a mission, mutual pining, compromising positions for a mission etc)

Nathan and Nightmares (Nathan x f!reader) is also one of my favourites because it was big comfort imagine for me for a long time before I wrote it.

Also Half Priced Chocolate (Nick Wasicsko x f!reader) was cute

Which fic is your least favourite?

Drunk Calling. I don’t think it’s very good, and I imagined a lot of pressure when I was writing this, and I also really struggled to get Santi and the reader to both talk and move. I think it comes off a little stilted because of this, and I also think it’s under-developed - it was my first time writing angst and I think I should have gone harder with it

Which fic have you reread the most?

Honestly I don’t know. I don’t tend to reread my own fics just because I can’t turn off my inner critic and I cringe a lot. Like 90% of the time I’m happy with a fic when I post it and if I reread it I tend to become unhappy with it so I don’t do that. Answering these questions is honestly the first time I've looked at most some of my fics since I posted them.

Which fic was the hardest?

Chapter 5 of Under My Skin (Poe x f!reader). As my chapters went on I got less notes and so I was naturally demotivated. I also think I was pushing myself too hard to get a chapter out every week and so by the time came for the 5th chapter I couldn’t do it. I also struggled with the plot as the whole story started out as a 500 word imagine and I couldn’t find a way for Poe and reader to reconcile and have a happy ending without it seeming really cheesy and naive. And then I got super in my head about it and decided the only possible solution was to lock the fic up in a box and never let it see the light of day lmao. I’ve done it now tho

Also Drunk Calling. It was a request from an author I really admire and love and respect and I wanted to do her proud, but I really struggled with ideas, subsequently put too much pressure on myself and made myself feel like I needed to post something, anything.

Which fic has your favourite line/paragraph?

I hate this question purely because it made me go read some of my own fics but this is what I’ve got:

Take Care of Me:

One of his hands is on your calf, gently trailing up and down, slowly setting you on fire, and you don’t even think he realises he’s doing it. There’s something in his eyes that you don’t recognise, darker, although it seems familiar. That’s been happening more and more lately, especially when it’s just the two of you.

Under my skin: chapter 3

“It’s much nicer than Dameron.” And maybe it’s because he looks especially vulnerable like this, talking about his dead mother with his curls flopping forwards and his face lit by the fire, but you can feel your heart start to beat a little faster.

Also I generally found that I preferred the vibe of some paragraphs and the ideas, rather than the actual sentences... I dont know what that means either

The fic you’re most proud of?

Cold because it was my first one and I was so nervous.

Also Under My Skin. I really did enjoy writing the first couple of chapters, and I am proud that I stuck with it and finished something of that length. I made a playlist for that fic and everything.

No pressure tags: @starryeyedstories @woakiees @propertyofpoeandbucky and anyone else who wants to do it - tag me! Would love to hear your thoughts about your own work, it's so interesting!

#Annette chats #tag game #my fics

[madokasoratsugu]

cinderella au meta notes

or: the plotline that never happened because i was so caught up in the euphoria of writing Fritz/Lucette Cinderella AU, i forgot that i had to have a plot

also: a bunch of bonus facts i guess !

this basically spoils the whole fic (that you can read here) which contains Fritz and Rumpel route spoilers, so read with caution ! under the cut bc it got Long :”))

this meta was initially written on a tumblr post bc it was meant to be a short ~2k thing (HAHAHA). then it got so long my computer started crashing and i had to move to google docs. 

i wrote this with disney live action remake osts AND six the musical in the background. it was a wildin’ experience listening to ‘dont lost ur head’ while writing Fritz be a chaotic mess in the beginning, then listening to ‘how does a moment last forever’ when writing the Fritz/Lucette garden scenes.

Karma and Fritz are childhood friends ! both boys who were more interested in being a knight than inheriting a kingdom, but learnt their responsibilities along the way.

on that note: none of the characters were exactly...planned to appear. the initial tweet thread idea only had Fritz, Lucette and Alcaster casted - the other characters just kinda wrote themselves in this meta. 

im pretty sure it started with Karma barging his way into the fic in act one, then i had to have someone balance him (Waltz), then i needed someone to play the music for their waltz (obvs that had to be Rod), and then i got sad thinking Rumpel would be left out, but Lucette’s broken glass slipper scene conveniently needed someone. the Widdensovs just kinda came into the picture by virtue of Lucette just needing someone to interact with when she wasnt at the ball LMAO 

everyone else just didnt make it in the natural progression of the fic, and i didnt want to shoehorn them in just for the sake of having them appear.

however: Parfait was initially going to make an appearance as a duchess who snuck Lucette out to her father when she came to the castle for help when her manor burnt down. here’s a lil snippet of her scene:

(no one had, the last time she came; the smell of smoke still clinging on her, her head slamming a cacophony - surviving only thanks to the bravery of a certain court lady now disappeared, who heralded her to a servant’s exit, gave her gold and directions to her father, told her, run, told her im sorry, and cried, tears dripping endlessly from her pale pink lashes.)

Parfait is well and alive in this AU btw ! she’s just ‘disappeared’ bc she’s living somewhere secret with her goth wife Delora.

(side note: i realise Rumpel seems a lot like Lucette’s fairy godmother in the act thirteen. not intended, but i liked the imagery enough to let it stand :”)) bippity boppoty chevalier ! )

Varg and Lilja are both Swedish words. ancient Angiellian is partially Swedish. there’s probably ikea in this AU. let that sink in.

the swan mask Lucette was wearing was meant to allude to Odette and Odile from Swan Lake (because Fritz and Varg, white and black, swans are pretty yadda yadda), and i was going to write some really neat symbolism about that but i forgot lol ! 

(also the idea just never worked for me bc Odette and Odile aren’t the same people like Fritz/Varg but i wanted to reference Barbie Swan Lake (2003) ok let me live)

pour one out for our man Fritz who got rejected on his birthday. f. 

Emelaigne is the MVP. older sisters, no matter how truly Head Empty they are, always pull through when you need them. 

“isn’t the moon beautiful tonight” is a direct reference to an anecdote (which may or may not be true) about Natsume Souseki, a famous japanese writer, who translated ‘i love you’ to that phrase in order to account for the indirect characteristics of japanese speech.

Rumpel is the royal doctor, and has been apprenticing in the castle since Fritz was a child, before taking over the position as an adult ! so yes, Rumpel definitely rubbed off on Fritz in terms of values and morals.

with regards to Fritz and Lucette’s curses: i never really gave it much thought, but the vague idea i had was Lucette being cursed by Hildyr for disobedience (manipulative parenting say eye), then Hildyr dies lol and Lucette breaks her curse eventually.

with Fritz, he was likely cursed out of political reasons/jealousy and Varg was the result. works bc either way the curse meant for Fritz to be 1) inconvenienced or 2) dead/taken out of consideration for succession so like...a pain in the ass replacement who behaves the exact opposite of a prince works too.

this was hinted at vaguely in the fic, but Fritz became very secluded and hid himself in the castle for the years it took him to come to terms with his curse and break it. even then, because there was no one around him to really affirm his identity or accept him, he remained very withdrawn and a shell of his former self. 

i reckon it took him about 5-6 years to break the curse. so that’s a lot of time alone. Fritz was basically a NEET.

all jokes aside: Lucette and Fritz each broke their curses with their own willpower and effort, but remain the mostly the same because there was no one around them to truly understand or accept them for who they were, or who they became.

(until they met each other, of course)

also, idk if it was hinted well enough but Lucette and Fritz actually were in an engagement once, when they were children/early teens ! i intended to allude to this more with Hildyr giving Fritz Lucette’s portrait, which results in him recognising her, but it just never fit in anywhere. so yeah ! that’s another reason how/why Fritz knew who Lucette was at first glance. 

i figured the previous engagement would also help ease the court into their eventual marriage despite the whole ~*disgraced noble*~ thing. idk. i know nothing about western history and how it worked except for ALEXANDER HAMILTON (america sings for yooouuu) and divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived.

however, Alcaster broke the engagement, as stated in act thirteen. the reason was basically: Angielle in this AU works not by a hereditary monarchy, but rather the previous monarch getting to choose whomever the fuck the want to succeed them. Hildyr and Alcaster were both in line for the throne, and Hildyr wanted to ensure that even if she couldn’t get the throne now, she still had a chance in the future if her daughter married Alcaster’s (who would then be king) son. Alcaster was like lol fuck off because he wanted power all to his family and took things into his own hands to ensure that would never happen (which involved: inciting public hatred against witches/Hildyr, breaking Lucette and Fritz’s engagement, and generally being a dick.

that’s about as plot heavy as it gets yall. the rest is just dumb idiots falling in love !

...............except for the political usurp that happens later, with Fritz’s faction forcefully taking the throne away from Alcaster’s tyrannical rule, which leads to a dramatic sway of public favour to Fritz and Lucette.

and then they live happily ever, ever after. 

(carrie underwood. yes i am planning an Enchanted AU dont look at me.)

the end !

#cinderella phenomenon #cinderella phenomenon visual novel #lucette riella britton #fritzgerald aiden leverton #melon writes #uh yeah

[chlobenet]

VIOLENT DELIGHTS ASK DROP 💀🖤

I’ve not been online for a hot minute and I’ve come back to 50+ Gennie asks so lets just get straight into another ask drop under the cut ♡

I need some inspiration on what to write next so I will definitely add this to the maybe list - open to more suggestions as well! 

Ooooh Polly 10000% has a soft spot for Gennie, and Gen looks up to Poll so so so much, honestly she lowkey idolises her. I do think some earlier season Gen could be fun to write so i’ll definitely keep these ideas in mind!

The only specific scene that comes to mind at the minute is the scene with the italian that tommy kills in the kitchen when the chef is like “my hands have blood” and tom says “so have mine.” I think gennie would be pretty shocked by this side of thomas that she has absolutely never seen before. For the most part though, I do think that the boys successfully keep gen away from the gory truth of the peaky blinders - but she does hear about it a lot of the time, and sometimes it makes them feel lowkey bad because they never want gen to be disappointed in them, or even worse...scared of them.

Gen and tom aren’t even a romantic coupling at this point but I can 100% get behind thomas standing up and even physically shielding her from the police with his own body - blocking them from getting to her. At the time gen wouldn’t even realise what he’s doing because she is just so shocked by the events that are unfolding infront of her. After a while they’re the only ones in the room and she would just be blinking at him, confused, upset, hurt. He’ll just stare back at her for a long time “dont look at me like that Gennie...” 

listen buddy, pal, my guy...i love her too sm and I love that you love her and that means that I love you! As for this scene, it’s definitely one i’ll hopefully be able to incorporate into a chapter of violent delights because the way gen and tom are together compared to tom and ada for example is extremely different and it would be a fun contrast to see.

same so much...gen is... baby🥺

now I’M crying at the thought of tommy introducing gen as his wife to people and oh GOSH.

Listen Gen mad or upset is the absolute worst because she doesn’t scream and shout at you, she doesn’t throw things around the room or show any kind of emotional at all really. When gen is mad, she gets real real quiet and she probably wont speak to you for a while and she’ll be damned if she looks at you because honestly looking at you when you’ve hurt gen physically hurts her heart. There’s no greater pain in gennie locks eyes than betrayal or someone doing something knowing that it is going to hurt you - so yeah she doesn’t get into a slanging match with tommy and in some ways he thinks it’s so much worse. She will talk things through though, after she’s had time to collect her thoughts and sort of...evaluate how she’s feeling about situations.

Tommy knows that gen wants kids and he knows with every fibre of his being that she would make the most amazing mother. I don’t think gen would ever really talk about it because she knows tommy already has children and she doesn’t ever want him to think she expects things of him but yes she wants kids more than anything on earth. It’s just sort of an unspoken thing between them, they know it’s going to happen - but they’re not rushing it, when it happens it happens and it will be magical.

Honestly I dont actually think gennie does realise just how much tom does love her, even though he does tell her. She just can’t fathom that someone could possibly love her, little gennie lock, that much. But he does.

Gennie, John and Archie are all the same age. A lot of people thought Gen and Arch were twins in school but nope, just cousins! 

Gen worries about Arthur, she really does. I think that she would maybe try and discuss it with tommy but he would explain that arthur is the kind of man that needs to have a purpose and sometimes arthurs only purpose in life is doing business for the peaky blinders. If he wasn’t given something like that to focus on then he would be left to his own devices and even gennie herself knows that has the potential to be so much more dangerous.

Oh my goodness I love this. I do love the idea that gennie is so gracious that she gives off this air of sort of...not importance but you understand what I’m trying to say. I love the idea of the line you’ve come up with for tom and lowkey might steal it. I think the only thing that would ever give gennie away is the fact that although she is well spoken, and extremely intelligent she does still have her birmingham accent - and that’s just a dead giveaway right there.

I think I’ve answered something similar to this previously but basically alfie and gen have this strange sort of ~respect~ for one another. Gennie appreciates that he’s a dangerous man, but she also feels fairly safe in his presence. He makes it very clear early on that she has absolutely nothing to fear from him and she believes him when he says it. That doesn’t necessarily mean she likes him (initially at least) nor does she really trust him, but...yeah she respects him.

Tom would definitely be the one out of the pair of them to admit his feelings first, but he’s also got a whole world of respect for both gennie and his brother so it would be a bit troubling for him when he realises that wow he’s in love with little gennie lock from down the lane. I think he would tell her, but not exactly openly it would be more of a “please, stay...” kind of moment, where he reaches out and takes her hand. They’d both look down and their hands, and then back up at one another and gennie would just nod “okay.”

Hmmm good question, I’m undecided. There may well be a “its you, little gennie lock it’s always been you.” sort of line, maybe on their wedding day but I’m not sure. I’m not even entirely sure thomas knows that’s how he’s always felt so WHO KNOWS - what do you think??

I don’t think so you know! Not through lack of suitors, because lets be honest gennie lock is an absolute catch. But she’s also extremely sentimental and loyal and she is pretty sure that john shelby is the love of her life and even though she’s resigned herself to the fact that they will never be together because of esme and her respect for their relationship - that doesn’t mean that she stops loving him, or that she can look at anyone else in that way. We love one (1) loyal princess.

Listen, tom and gennie talk. They talk a lot more than he talks to anyone else and he’s told her about the war and he’s told her about the dreams he has and sometimes he doesn’t even know why he’s telling her but she’s just so easy to tell and god is she an excellent listener. She doesn’t judge him. She understands that sometimes tommy needs to forget and he needs to sleep and she wants nothing more than for him to feel happy and safe and comfortable so if that’s what he needs then so be it.

I think if I wrote a scene where tom was having one of his grace moments and gennie entered then I’d write it as though grace sort of ... evaporated or disappeared the second gennie enters the room. Even if grace is midway through saying something, gennie is enough to push the thoughts or the hallucinations away and tom might stare dumbfounded at the wall for a hot minute in astonishment but then he’ll look at his wife and he’s just like #of course.

hahah i love this headcanon and I also think that gen would love to watch tom be around/talking about horses because he’s just so in his element and so...at peace?

I think after tommy refuses to go and see lizzie then polly would suggest to gennie that she go and see thomas. I think she’d consider sending lizzie, but then deep down polly knows that tom needs a sort of emotional support that lizzie isn’t capable of providing. You have to remember as well that gennie has lost archie who was the most important person in her life, she knows grief and she recognises that in thomas but there’s more to it than just grief. I think initially tom would try and push her away but..she’s not having any of that!

honestly idk if hair dye was actually a thing then?? so either gen darkens her hair as the seasons go on or...it’s more of a metaphorical thing. S1 gennie is brilliantly blonde, this wide eyes innocent little girl from birmingham who has absolutely no idea what she’s in for. By s5 gen has dark hair and it’s reflective of how her innocence has been tarnished by the peaky blinders as the years have gone on. She’s still an inherently good person, but s5 gen and s1 gen are two very different women. 

#gennie asks #violent delights #gennie lock #thomas shelby #john shelby #grace shelby #ok i didn't answer all 50 because i am TIRED but you get the idea #i will do another drop soon :)

[friskdaferret]

You ever have one of those dreams that is so obviously trying to tell you something.

Yeah I had one of those a while ago and wrote it down. And Im gonna tell you about it cause why not.

Some things you need to know before I tell you tho.

1. My real name is Finn

2. When I was in elementary school I had a friend who's full name gets used in the dream but Im nott gonna tell you their full name cause this is the internet and trust no one so Im gonna call him A. Full name being AG. Coolio? Coolio. (Also in the dream he was grown up to my age so I didn't recognise him at first since I haven't seen him since elementary school)

3. A bouncy house maze is exactly what it sounds like. But in them the walls are pressed together because they are blown up so you cant tell where anyone is unless you are touching them or talking.

I am still trying to figure out what it meant... It was too well put together to not mean anything. So yeah.

Enjoy.

So I think it started out in a classroom where the students were ranked mideavle style for some reason. I was Finn the Warrior and I was sat next to the king and... Someone else of similar importance, but I dont remember exactly. Anyways we were handed out a work sheet that gave us our ranking and the topic of fighting came up (maybe we were supposed to fight???) and I pointed out that fighting or running from someone in one of those bouncy house mazes is a nightmare because you cant see who is in front or behind you or where you are, you either have to get lucky or memorize the maze as you go along, plus you are panicking the whole time trying to escape the person.

That started one of those transitions to 2 people doing that exact thing. Then it flashed back to me in the classroom hearing other people say I would be good for something since I was the warrior.

Transition to an animated YouTube video about a girl who said something along the lines of, "I know people think Im creepy or weird and usually just watch me for animation help but I appreciate all my viewers" and she did this while styling a wig for herself by taking a normal curly wig and coloring it with blush to give it multiple shades of colors.

Then it transitioned to her in real life at her house, there was a long ditch around her house and I think she had a dog??? It showed her coming out of her room dressed in a pastel pink dress after styling her wig and said hello to another person of probably the same age, maybe younger, hunched over a book, dressed in black or dark grey.

Transition to me outside the house hiding behind some long grass next to the ditch being told to go in there by the king and... She comes out of the house and invites me in. She was really nice, she showed me how she does her wigs

Then it transitions to an outdoor pool party where I am still refered to as Finn the Warrior and then transitions to more examples of people running from others in bouncy house mazes.

Transition back to the pastel girls house. I am now sitting in a room off of where she styled her wigs and the girl from earlier dressed in black is sat next to me and the topic of stories come up and she wants to hear a story, the pastel girl says something like "you're good with stories, aren't you finn? Tell us a story" and I was like, "ok, what kind of story do you want? Fairytale, story, fable, something with a morel, a warning about the fae?" and the girl in black said "I like the velvitine rabbit!" and I was like, "oh I actually don't remember that one" so she handed me a yellow paperback book labeled, the velvitine rabbit. I was about to start reading it when the door is kicked open and a person barges in. Transition to me being held out of that room in a hallway next to the rickety wooden stairs where the guy holding me is talking to another man and they are both revealed to be vampires and the guy holding me is named A. I am... Suspiciously calm, know that someone will come to help, and just before he tosses me to the other guy I say, "A,,, like A G? You're A G?" and so he stopped what he was doing hesitated and ran off with me through the house and I think we ended up in a green house??

Transition back to me in the classroom, still being refered to as Finn the Warrior and I started talking to the person to the other side of me (Princess? Queen? Dutches?) she was a few years younger than me. She was saying something like "you should be able to do it"

Transition back to me being heald captive by a vampire Idk where in the house I am now, 2 people bust into the room and I shout "ITS A G" A panics and bites into my neck, tosses me onto the floor and runs. I remember thinking im fine he bit me on the wrong side of the neck and i wont turn because of the bite. Transition to me this time running through a bouncy house maze trying to escape Someone, the dream ends.

#dreams #dream #symbolism #analysis #help? #my dream

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 2 - Valiant

- ik for a fact that this one is the episode with the asshhoole. not bc i recognised it from the title but perhaps it was because i recognised it from the title u got me there

- i always go to mr clean too when i want protection, val, ur not alone

- yeah, this is harry potter l ma o

- the next thing u know theres a stone that makes arthur live forever and the snakes start joining into one and growing bigger until a phoenix (im dibbing on kilgie here), pops their corneas out

- DAMN DON'T KILL UR DEALER WHERE U GONNA GET THE NEW SHIT FROM NEXT TIME SMH VALIANT

- okay but who names their son valiant

- he was probably named valerie and didnt like it so he said “woah imma be valiant like courage, thats sick”

- that was probably his superhero persona as a child ngl

- no, shev, no respect for val stop doing this

- merlin in armour, what a fucking bLESiSNG GIVING ME THIS RIGHT ON THE SPOT BBC KNOWS WHATS GOOD

- ok a y but hear me out, merlins a servant. i have not seen any of these servants been asked to train with the royals??? like in the sense where it helps the servant train as well?? and the FIRST thing arthur does with merlin as his servant is train with him. not only is arthur a huge JOCK, he’s not using his manservant properly

- neverfuckingmind “most servants collapse after the first blow”, so it seems to be arthur likes to train with his servants. now that in itself is a question to be asked, but is he the only royal who trains with his servants??? how did this man survive on his own without a personal servant until merlin??? did he have a personal servant??? was it just regular servants?? who are those other servants he trained with??? did arthur just say hey lets go to the field in the morning, put on armour and let’s have a fun time?? UNLESS merlin literally just took someones job away from them kmao

- also my mind went right to the gutter guys, ngl, it sounded like an innuendo. it had me quaking i wish i was one of those servants

- “we all have our duties, even arthur” “it must be so tough for him, all the *hesitates* girl, all the glory”

- so we probably get at least 1 out of every 2 episodes where there’s a scene with merlin dressing arthur in his armour. bring the popcorn, lads.

- MORGANA LOOKING LIKE A FRICKEN SNACK

- the reigning champion is arthur, wonder fucking w h y

- valiant is in fucking mustard, while arthur is fucking ketchup idk why i thought of that but it happened. my literature teacher always told me to look for symbolisms. guess we found one guys.

- merlin after hating on arthur for the past episode is literally just cheering arthur on like a good husband he is

- did ARTHUR JUST SNICKER AT MERLINS “CREEP” LMAO DON'T TRY AND HIDE IT BY HUFFING AT HIM AFTERWARDS YOU FUCKING GOOF

- omg he hid it by telling merlin to do a full novel of chores

- AND MERLIN DOES IT WITH MAGIC A PAIR OF GOOFS

-  “are you using magic again” “no” merlin ffs he just saw you use magic, while the items fell and landed right in front of him while you didn’t move at aLL. they are nOT BLIND

- “very aggressive style” I MEAN SURE UTHER

- valerie be fuckboying morgana lmao with a “i saw you watching” and a, “then i will give everything to win the tournament”

- i wish this show was set in the early 2000s so i can see val in low sweatpants, a backwards cap with gelled spiky hair and cheap neon sunglasses (maybe even some gold teeth just for kicks), while hes trying to rap 50 cents or make a mixtape of brit pop songs. bc yes.

- honestly im loving my 2000 fuckboy au. gonna make an ao3 after this.

- of course merlin would be the one to find out the magic shit in valiants room, it just lures him. AND OF COURSE VALIANT IS THERE

- i'm so fucking glad arthur looks confused as to how merlin did what he asked. when u have this kind of hubby, arthur, its amazing what things he can do.

- i dont know why theres dramatic music as merlin put armour on arthur but im living for it

- “is it my imagination or are you beginning to enjoy yourself?” merlin doesn't know what to say to that bc he’s turning gay and doesn't know if that counts as enjoying oneself when the one you are gay for is the asshole prince

- typically enough, valiant and arthur never fight except for the finale. like with all conveniences in place, youd expect them to have at least fought at some point with as much knights as there to determine the final two but no, just the finale. k.

- this poor fucking purple knighted bloke didn’t need to be fucking demonstrated on, val. like you didn't need to kill him?? that could have blown ur cover

- DID NOBODY SEE THAT??? DID NOBODY SEE THE FUCKING SNAKES???

- oooh merlin found out what happened everyone gonna be fucked. nobody harms arthur is he has something to say about it

- if someone starts off a sentence with “i just saw someones snakes on their shield come alive” nobody would fucking believe you, merls. but given the fact that magic exist… mhh maybe it wouldn’t be too absurd. but ppl apparently are thick as hell

- “why were you in his chambers” well i know how id explain if i was in valiants chambers ;)

- jk i dont fall for this toxic shit

- imagine getting paid as an actor just just lie down there like this poisoned kid. “yeah, id like to audition for ewan’s role???” “why are you lying on the ground?”

- i hate those tropes where it's like “i know how to tell someones bad, here’s proof” and then nobody believes you and tells you you’re lying and should die or whatever but then you kNOW IT'S THE FUCKIN TRUTH BITCH that trope gives me damn anxiety >:((

- yes merlin, fucking slash the shield with your sword. i'm sure that's how it works. im sure it will kill the snakes.

- HOWA RE THE SNAKES ALIVE WITHOUT VAL SAYING “ISHNAHASHAHI”

- i think val would know that you cut off the snake’s head, merls, just saying. ur were the oNLY ONE.

- TELL ARTHUR WHAT??? “I CUT A SNAKE”

- EXACLTY ONG THAT'S WHAT MERLIN FUCKING SAID I WAS RIGHT LMAO

- ARTHUR BELEIVED HIM I'M FUCKING LIVING BUT IK WHAT HAPPENS AND AHH

- uhhh the anxiety is rolling up boys

- ewan is mcfuckingdead

- snake be sliding in like a hoe on a business

- bfehfjdjfskf i hate this part

- arthur's pride, merlin’s pride, fuck me

- i'm not even gonna write this part, it breaks my fragile heart when arthur sees the look of people not believing him, especially his dad, and merlin seeing how arthur doesn't trust him anymore like prepare the eulogies girlies

- okay but if arthur is struck and gaius has the antidote?? arthur aint gonna die technically

- but now val knows merlin knows

- AND MERLIN INTERVENES

- why are royals so bitchy towards servants. like they do their best to help you??? they are loyal to you and are paid there to serve you and are often very kind, generous, passive, understanding people??? yet merlin interrupts uther and he fucking sends him to the pit

- VAL YOU ASS LMAO DON'T HURT MY SON’S PRIDE

- he said allegations like four times, yes uther we know ur vocab is shining with intellect but seriously, there’s other synonyms that could still be acceptable and still sound fancy

- quick search on google bc my mind doesnt roll fast enough: claim, assertion, charge, accusation, declaration, statement, contention, deposition, argument, affirmation. see daddy uther, not hard to look up.

- forget they didnt have internet whoopsies

- :((( arthur doesn't trust merlin anymore

- the husbands FIGHT

- not just a banter petty fight, this is a huge fight

- SACKING MERLIN DON'T FUCKING SACK MERLIN YOU GOOF

- TRUST UR HUBBY

- FUCK

- I'M GONNA CRY AND IT'S ONLY EPISODE TWO

- I'M HAVING EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS CONCERNING MY TWO BOYS

- GUYS IM NOT OKAy

- its been 2 minutes after i wrote that last sentence, and i am now okay

- “a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole” iconic as hell. so many things could be said about that quote. either for innuendo purposes, love purposes, destiny purposes, how long it took me to say it right, just so many purposes man. it’s just iconic.

- merlin looks absolutely done with kilgaharama’s shit

- “just give me a straight answer” seems like kilgarass here is being too gay for merlin

- gwen already knows merlin’s the heroin of the series, saying everyone knows it's merlin who will save the day. but same tbh

- i dunno if this is like me or not but it says her nickname is gwyn in the subtitles but im typing it as gwen which i thought was how u wrote it, even if her full name is gwynevere but like gwen has a ring to it while gwyn sounds like gwin or smth and i dunno which one is right so ill just leave it alone ahjsjfk

- MORGANA HAS VISIONS WE ALREADY KNOW WHERE THIS GOES SHES MAGIC ISNT SHE HAHAHAHAUHD

- merlin trying one last time to convince his husband not to die, but at least this time arthur knows he’s up for val’s magic and is like “k iloveyou but i have to do this for the country not just bc of pride and thinking val is not magic”

- staring into the fire like he’s hoping it would suck him up into the void, not only is merlin a now confirmed emo, so is fucking arthur it seems. perfect for one another i'm telling you

- eerie music as morgana enters… wha suddenly i can't read

- i thought at first morgana and arthur were gonna end up together cause of the fucking weird tension going on and i was prepared to be disfuckinggusted but no! the show and producers actually put my expectations away and helped me see that it wasn’t going in that direction! thank fucking god! 

- k but arthur looks majestic in his gear im just a huge bi

- “don’t go into my room” he says then gaius peaks in and almost gets mauled by a large chihuahua

- me too val, id step on someone's toes then fuck them up with an undercut. thats the bad bitch way to go. unless it for arthur, then val hahaha you can go fuck yourself

- no one sees mErLin??

- but they now see the snakes smh fakes

- “what are you doing? i didn't summon you” i don't think that will work val cause you didn't say it with a serpent tongue, it has to sound more like “shhashhwhat ahhssare hiisssyou iisshhaadoing?”

- okay but i thought arthur was impaled for a half second until he started to talk then i screamed that he was aight and he would now believe merlin

- uther better give merlin an apology

- arthur just said he wouldnt

- but still uther BETTER APOLOGISE TO FUCKING MERLIN

- “yknow i wish valiant was escorting me” “me too” i thought for a fricken moment arthur wished valiant would have escorted HIM. i'm dying.OMG

- “i wanted to say i made a mistake. it was unfair to sack you.” “don’t worry about it. buy me a drink and we’ll call it even.” DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU JUST SAID MERLIN YOU SLY DOG OMG

- “i can’t really be seen to be buying drinks for my servant.” so if he wasn’t ur servant?? you’d say yes?? they are so fucking gay i can't anymore

- yeah, i literally fucking can't

#merlin #merlin bbc #merthur #s1 #this is early bc well it was already written #peeps up for the next one boys #tho its not done #expect it in a few days oop #s1.2

[ts-autumns-world]

Episode 1: “Autumn you are a crazy fucked up host” - Giraffez

AHHHHHHH AUTUMNS WORLD HI!!!!!! THIS CAST IS AMAZING IM SO EXCITED AND SCARED!!! JINX YES!! AND 4 KILI PEOPLE INCLUDING LILY?? cant wait !!!

Omg! first day and im placed on the Eener tribe <3 love the way it sounds like an alarm so much ! xo love the tribe divisions and love my tribe mates! super excited to get to know them more, and reconnect with others :)

https://youtu.be/9P1GrFrTHnQ

---

it’s the way i keep putting my birthday as the date...as if this is a doctors office and not autumns world...I DONT NEED NO DOCTOR THO I AM CURED IN AUTUMNS WORLD ‼️‼️‼️ anyways manifesting a jinx win 🕯 hi my name is jinx and i am the winner of tumblr survivor 103: autumns world. i keep telling myself that. it’s okay to be hungry for the win like i am this time. i can’t let it blind me but it’s okay! it’s okay to say i’m gonna win! if i fail, it’s not smth i haven’t done before. but. im taking a page from autumns book and speaking it into existence. my name is jinx clementine and i WILL BE the winner of tumblr survivor 103: autumns world. *uptown funk vc* don’t believe me just WATCH ‼️

It feels absolutely insane to be back. I feel like I’m a bit oversaturated tbh

I can’t believe this cast. Packed with icons. So many people from Kilimanjaro?? I’m just like??? I’m just so excited to play and hope that our team does great. I just don’t want to lose cause I really don’t want to vote any of these other people out! 

when i’m the annoying overactive player... i keep putting my birthday as the month/day/year 😭 so watch out for that. anyways, important announcement: the only song i ever listen to is potential breakup song by aly & aj. i never listen to anything else. if i feel like listening to music that’s what i listen to. it’s been on repeat since 2007. my itunes consists of 1 song, potential breakup song by aly & aj, and the play count is somewhere around 50,000 plays. if you ever see me listening to music, don’t even ask what song i’m listening to, because you know it’s potential breakup song by aly & aj, so why would you even ask

I don't give one fucks, two fucks, red fucks, or blue fucks, I'm gonna put all my effort and energy into this season. I have a point to prove, not to just myself, but to every person who has doubted me in any way. The biggest concern I have is meta gaming, alot of it but its going to be okay. Chris and Jinx? Vibing. Mikki and Captain? that group chat was made 5 minutes into the game. Monty and Lily C are gonna be vibing since they're winners. Lily O and I played fr*nce, but that's... no good. I'm going to just let go and have a great time. This is Autumn's World, and sometimes, we all need to just relax and let nature take its course

Autumn you are a crazy fucked up host....... Legit i was like oh come in have some fun then BOOM FUCKING MESOPOTAMIA FLASH BACK OUT THE GATE so sevice to say I'm nervous as hell about this challenge i so don't want to get voted out first .....or on the same challenge as before so even if we do have to go to tribal hopefully the winning tribe will take pitty on me and you know give me safety

feeling delusional for writing what i wrote about winning 😭🌚 LIKE DKKDKDKDKDKDDKDKKD IM TRYING TO BE MY BEST POSSIBLE SELF AND APPARENTLY THAT FACILITATES DELUSION GOOD NIGHT 

https://youtu.be/FJM9fQW7evY

---

autumn not letting me in the game at first bc i’m mixed. i can hear my ancestors screaming

Yknow I’m not exactly thrilled that the song decision was made without everyone being present but like my stupid night shifts make it completely understandable at the same time. On that topic, though. Party in the USA for our music video, hmm. Not even bleach is that basic.

good morning it’s day 2 in autumn’s world and i don’t feel any better about the whites. ps. daily i love monty 

https://youtu.be/DAXdEjZW1mc

https://photos.app.goo.gl/mQ3vUbaX1nEnsp2Z9

My tribe has a varying amount of timezones which makes it harder to connect with them socially as I cannot PM them as much as I would like to. Additionally, I am finding it difficult to message them because I have to work from 8 to 5 everyday of the week. This sucks because I know I can at least make people like me in the per-merge enough to keep me. However, I can no longer reliably use this strategy. I just have to hope others are way more inactive than me and that my tribe somehow wins immunity. On that note, I am really liking that Mikki and Benj took a leadership role in the tribe. So, they are definitely people I want to keep on this tribe. It would have to be Blake or Khalid that gets the target from me. We'll see how talking to them goes before results.

I LOVE THIS GAME!!!!!!! Ok so starting with my tribe:

Mikki - ABSOLUTELY THE FAV!!! We got along right away on day 1 and are def the closest in timezones which is so great to have someone like that. Sooo fun and easy to talk to really wanna be #1 allies. I know shes amazing at orgs and won and probs is getting along well with everyone but who cares i wanna play w her!!!! The main thing is too have fun and i just know it will be with Mikki

Captain - Also amazing!!! Super active in helping with the challenge and great personally love that hes gonna do english teaching which is smth i was looking into and also in a closer time zone to me and had fun discussing stuff w him so far!!

Blake - We played Kili together!! Shoutout Autumn for getting 4 Kilis back omg. I was on a tribe with Blake and Autumn together for like 2 rounds and we did vote together once so have some positive history at least hes a bit more quiet compared to the others but hes cool and i think we could do good!

Raffy - Iconic parts in the video challenge and also fun so far!! Havent talked as much as the above 3 but still feeling good about him!

Khalid - Seems nice and friendly but we havent messaged yet and no clue if he will do his lines in the music video :O we'll see But overall love my tribe and the overall cast. LILY THE KILI WINNER QUEEN???????? Cant believe shes back would be so awesome to play w her again since last time we were mainly on opposite sides. JINX MY ONE MONTE FRIEND??? YES!! SO excited i hope we get to tribe swap together since in Monte we werent that close and i voted them off i know such a disgrace but since then we have become more friends so would love to play together!! Also played w Chips in Kili and were sort of friends! Chris we are hosting a season together but i think itll be cancelled tbh no ones applying and we dont know each other at all outside of that but i loved his intro and just started getting into agatha christie literally ordered 2 of her books a few  weeks ago sdhksa cant believe he mentioned her in his intro so super excited to properly meet him. Joey we are sorta friends but i voted him out recently in other game so dunno how he feels abt me!! Everyone else i dont really know but will meet some soon surely WOOO AUTUMNS WORLD

SO THE GAME JUST STARTED so there's not really that much to spill right now but I do really enjoy my tribe. I have my bestie captain who I will protect as much as I possibly can. and I've spent all day yesterday and today talking to benj who I LOVE so so so much. I feel so good with him. SO UM ASAHJSHSJAJHASHJAS IM ON THE SAME TRIBE AS RAFFY WHO UM ASHJSAHASHJ I played with once before where I was super chaotic and I literally fought him (playfully) and it was so messy and chaotic and stupid BUT I DIDN'T RECOGNISE HIM AND HE DIDN'T REMEMBER ME SO WE JSUT WERE LIKE "nice to meet you" and I didn't realise until later and idk if he knows yet and I am not bringing it up COS LIKE IDK I DON'T WANT IT TO GET WEIRD AND MAYBE HE DOESN'T REMEMBER BUT MAYBE HE DOES IDK but besides that I love him a lot he's so fun and his videos for our music video are AMAZING he's so full of life. Khalid hasn't been on much but I really enjoy his energy when he is. he's so cool and lovely. Blake is nice!!!!! but I can't help but feel my instincts being like WATCH HIM. like something inside me is saying beware of this white man.LIKE IDK WHAT IT IS but I just get instincts in games with people sometimes where I just feel like unsettled??? and that's how I feel right now. we're all in different timezones so socialising is the opposite of overwhelming. I've never had a game so quiet in the beginning like this before. but I've never played survivor either. I think I might be okay??? if we went to tribal but I really don't want us to go to tribal pls....

JINX IS OVER ON THE TUA TRIBE BTW and I'm sitting here with grabby hands. I wanna play with them so bad and just get to have our redemption arc because we didn't play on the same side the first time we played so LET ME HAVE THIS I just wanna play with them and have fun with them but they are so far away :((((

I'm so excited overall tho the whole cast looks amazing and I'm having fun so far. this challenge has been a blast and. a great way to bond with everyone. I feel so close to benj already. I really love him a lot. so I'm having a good time yes ashjshajjahs YAY

oh and I also did my tarot and idk where things are going to go exactly but I'm very :eyes: raffy got the tower and Khalid got the devil....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

also I wanna play with women at some point PLS PLS I haven't been this surrounded by men since I was a closeted 15 year old surrounded by posters of Robert Pattinson and Taylor lautner

Benj just submitted his version of the music video and it is..... bad. I don't know why Mikki filmed vertically? Like, I feel like that's the first rule of music videos? You have to always film horizontally. Also, some of these people's energies were not giving at all. The beginning waking up part was cute though. It's just.... these people aren't giving what they think they're giving is all I'm saying. And Benj put this weird filter on all my videos that makes it hard to see what's actually going on tbh. Anyways, time to kick the socializing into high gear so as to not get voted out! Or pray that Mikki's version of the video is better

hello autumn's world.. this is captain's speaking. sorry i'm one day late to this confessional booth stuff but i'm here and i'm ready to give u some tea. *ahem* thanks jarod for these questions.

1. How do you feel about your starting team? Anyone you are happy/upset to see? OOOOH i feel like my team is very CUTE! like i didn't think autumn was gonna put me and mikki in the same tribe lmao .. i thought it was gonna be divided from ur race and u know mikki is white and i'm not. ANYWAYS, im happy to see mikki in my team of course. thats my ride or die and i know i'm gonna have someone i can 100% trust no matter what for sure. but blake knows for sure that mikki and i are very close so thats gonna be interesting. which leads to the next part, i'm kinda eh with blake in my tribe thats only because our previous experience in CoW so i just hope that its gonna be better here this time *prays*.. for others, i don't know them before so i'm excited to get to know them!!!

2. Who are you most excited to play with on the cast? Most afraid of? oh of course mikki for sure and another person is geekoffilm cause u know we're like besties besties and i love both of them so much. most afraid of... probably monty tbh. they tried to gun for me/mikki(/cora) in jarod's mini so i think they know that mikki and i are gonna be tight so i'm just gonna have to keep an eyes on them cause they are a great player.

3. What are your first impressions of everyone based on this first challenge? OH GOD. i love benj!! benj is very organized so we started off pretty well. i threw out lush life randomly and then we decided to go with lush life, how cute!!! but yea, benj and mikki have done lots of works and i love THEM. RAFFY ALSO DID AMAZING in his parts!!! like he has PROPS and his camp is sooooo summery and AHH he's so great. blake.. ahem if blake didn't look at his lyrics at the first part, it would've been a bit better. and idk about khalid. i'm very worried cause khalid hasn't sent any of his parts yet. and like he seems inactive??? so idk but i don't wanna lose the points for full team participation :oooooh: I DIDNT JUST SHOW ANYONE I CANT DANCE TO LOSE AND I DIDNT HAVE TO DANCE AND MAKE MY LEGS ACHE JUST TO LOSE!!! SOBS!! but that is a sign that tells me i should exercise more x ANYWAYS!!!! its just interesting point to add x

4. What is your strategy going into the first portion of the game? trying to lay low and build some connections with ppl from my tribe. benj and raffy for sure. i rlly like their vibes so i need to stick with them. and just try not to lose challenges cause its gonna be suck voting one of them out. also, if we somehow win, i want to send someone who i can trust moving forward to exiled island.. but we'll see. its gonna be a lot of thinking and convincing people.

5. How do you want other people in the game to view you in the early stages of the game? as someone who they can trust and talk to and someone who always puts effort into challenges cause thats what most important in the first stage of the game.. i'll come back here after results x

HELLO AUTUMNS WORLD IM PISSED! not about raffy getting sent to the outback. its what raffy deserved. i like raffy so thats fine i just need to work on my relationship with him after he comes back. BUT KHALID. GOD. he just doesnt care about the challenge AT ALL. he was inactive. he didnt even talk about the challenge. and then coming to the chat and telling us SORRY after we have submitted… god thats BS. we literally all put our effort into this. and for someone who just dont care about the pandemic (idk about the uk but i guess they allow partying now) and go out and party. GOD i mean he’s going back to bahrain anyways WELL GUESS WHAT, HERE IS ANOTHER PLANE TICKET HOME. take that and sashay away babe

---

cause thats just FUCKED UP. everyone put their efforts in. benj — his leg is HURTING he cant move much btut he still did his parts and helped us with the editing. RAFFY — he literally worked 8 to 5 but he still found time to just shoot his parts and like more random parts. blake — well even though he didnt study the song much, he still did it and he is a team player. MIKKI — well u know i love mikki and ik how much shes in her head for this challenge but every scene she is on, i smile watching her because she just did it SO WELL PLUS she stayed up late for khalid and her health is not good. fucked up khalid u done fucked up enough. hope u enjoyed ur short time at autumns world.

First challenge, done, middle of the road WOOOOOOOOOOOOO, absolutely love that my music video streak has been continuing! Coming into this game, I felt absolutely nervous as hell about playing with 2 winners on my team, but in all honesty, I’m gonna take the Jinx approach- Embrace it, you don’t get another opportunity like this. I love the fact that I’m being more engaged than before and that’s what I want to be, especially in confessionals. I’m always trying to be better, and how can I better myself I HATE THE WAY MARV ALBERT PRONOUNCES PARENTHESES, YOU DON’T SAY IT LIKE “THE C’s”? JESUS MARV ITS GONNA BE YOUR LAST GAME YOU CALL IN YOUR CAREER COME ON MAN.

---

I hate to be called Joestradamus, but when Captain or Mikki get voted out first because of how tight knit they are, don’t @ me

*slides into splits* WE WON YES YES YES YES WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAH

re khalid missing the challenge: no everyone in our team worked rlly hard on that except khalid who went out fucking partying then he lied about going to send the vid soon cause you know what if he already filmed his parts, looking for a vid and click send are not that hard he fucking told us he was about to send ASAP and then disappeared and then had the NERVE to tell us AFTER THE DEADLINE that he's so SORRY OH PLS

This tribe name is Autumn's last name backwards! https://thumbs.gfycat.com/VigorousBiodegradableIrishterrier-size_restricted.gif  

Now that that is out of the way, let me list my tribemates... Giraffez Joey Lily C Lily O Monty. Something is incredibly amusing about how there is a tribe with someone named Chips and someone named Giraffez. What is not amusing is that I get a "I don't like/want to speak to/etc." vibe from Giraffez? I could just be a delicate and annoying flower but our conversations have been short and dry. Joey has some great high energy and excitement and I love that he loves being part of this game. He is also pretty fun to talk to. Hoping that we can keep an open dialogue and that perhaps I can rope him into a future alliance of sorts. Lily C is a sweetheart truly and I adore her personality so much. She is such a go-getter and goes to bat for those with who she feels can be loyal. I'm hoping that we can build loyalty and trust together. Lily O has been busy with work at a bowling alley. That's actually really cool because when I was a child that was my dream job. Not even joking... my parents were in leagues when I was growing up and my brother and I entered ones designed for children. It was a big thing in my family and I thought that I would love to be in that "atmosphere" all the time. Anyway, we haven't spoken until after the results were announced so honestly if I had to guess I was their intended target if we had had tribal council and they were mine?? (perhaps...) It has been really nice getting to connect with Monty and really cool finding out that they are beginning job searching after college and thinking of pursuing education as a career. I have a soft spot in my heart for all educators.

Okay so I'm just going to say this now. Autumn needs to simplify the twists to more like Blue's Clues with an OBVIOUS large blue paw prints where I'm supposed to look. I have no idea what that announcement was about war rooming someone into the game and feel like I"m fifty million steps behind these big-brained people who figured it out. https://media2.giphy.com/media/m59avtxDzXeiQ/200.gif

I think that I missed the message about what we do with tickets or I'm still just as clueless as previously stated but I am intrigued nonetheless. I think even if I knew what to do with them I would just hoard them like I would Chuck E. Cheese tickets in case something else came along. Hope they're not like Fire Tokens and let you buy like Peanut Butter and Idols because I am anti- fire token. https://media.tenor.com/images/d7de1f75f2c43f8e044e958b964430fa/tenor.gif

On a side note, I'm paranoid when I see people on calls because even if they're not talking about me or plotting they are potentially aligning with each other and that does not include me. I don't really know much about how calls work on Discord as I am a pretty big noob generally speaking with the platform but it did say that Joey and Giraffez were on a call earlier?? I'm stressed. https://media0.giphy.com/media/3o7TKRwpns23QMNNiE/200.gif --- http://www.purplerockpodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/survivor-pearlislands-lillian-morris-post-savage-blindside.gif

https://voca.ro/1lb9WKsDr6xA

Ok.....so after talking to Joey a little ive learned a few things mikki is a bit of a beast Benj is well......social to and everyone despised Mesopotamia........which i get from the stuff that pumped me up to 16th place that season but I'm mostly hoping that i can make it to the end this time....... So far I've talked to pretty much everyone Lilly and Joey and monty not sure which one really but the one whose discord is 13survivirgirl13 so hopefully soon i can work out some kind of an alliance with them and if we swap or merge from three to two either next week or the week after (probably the week after honestly) i feel i can maybe set us up as one and us four can really rule the roost for a moment....hopefully.....who knows i could just he a delusional old queen whose doomed to be nothing more then premerge every time i play tumblr survivor......or maybe I'm just crazy *shrugs* either way it should be a damn good hoot

we won the first challenge, god bless. which brings up something funky i realized: that the best part about winning immunity is having the day off. and also…idk something just doesn’t sit right…the way autumn was emphasizing that someone would be eliminated from the game…like….hm……….idk….never trust a bitch named after a season!

omg we lost AHHHH but thankfully we have an easy boot sorry khalid im glad i dont have to vote mikki captain or blake eeek pls lets win the next one

I'm totally pumped for this game! Like when I saw my tribe and Jinx is on it I screamed! I want us to have the same success of being together at ftc!! Jude honestly is great to me and I'm enjoying getting to know her a lot, Ricky I remember from HvV4 but we both say no to that and start anew! Bryan I am hopeful to talk more since its been dry and that is okay. Sucks we ended losing Michelle early but I am sure it was for the best! We WILL reign successful

---

Yesterday was so stressful to me like editing I have no problem with but I thought my biggest worry was that I needed Bryan to submit stuff late-ish. But turns out an hour before due time thd program wanted to stop working 🙃🥲 and I felt so close to wanting to forfeit- which is something I never do but I just felt hopeless and guilty and even imagined getting voted out. So I had to call Jinx who assured me something could be salvaged and they'd make sure I would stay (rip Bryan) but after the extension by cool hosts I found encouragement and did my magic stuff. SOMEHOW we won and to be honest I dont think anything will top that feeling of relief in the org (give me 3 days) but man what a ride yesterday was for me!

I got a Super Idol! Well, at least I now know that I can fuck around in this game a little bit more since I have this extra insurance in my back pocket which guarantees I stay around in the long run. I want to start getting into alliances because being a solo person with not much time on their hands is definitely a scary position to be in. Preferably, I want an alliance with Nikki and Benj (though I suspect that they already have an alliance with at least one other person on the tribe). It does suck that I am not at tribal considering that it will help build my bonds even stronger. I guess I just have to suffer for the time being

i think this is gonna be an easy vote cause khalid needs to go. but idk you can never feel safe in survivor :/ but so far everyone has been telling me they're voting khalid so lets pray

Omg that immunity was so hard, I literally did not know what I was doing and I think out of everyone I was a bit lackluster. I will say on the tribe I have not really talked to all of them but I will say I trust Jinx the most and we have talked a lot and I think that moving forward we will have each others back. All I need to do is talk to the rest of the tribe and form bonds that will last me to a swap or merge. 

https://youtu.be/kKOciJGjrzw

https://youtu.be/mx7WPjx8zCk

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khalid babe this ones for you 🥺 https://youtu.be/QX2boYNUbxw

#tsaw #episodes

[some-lost-meme-boi]

lost

so this is my first time writing something like this sorry if its bad!!!! I know things like this exist sorry if its similar to someone else's as I read a few before hand. this goes on for long I'm sorry I couldn't help it!!

update i just found this and worked on the first chapter but still not happy :( rip

warning self harm, depression, lance saying he can be replaced, lance dies

the mission was meant to be easy,

it was meant to be in and out simple,

but they had fallen right into the Garla’s trap,

Lance woke up confused blinking rapidly he tried to get his vision back all he could see was purple. purple the castle isnt purple. then where was he... shitshitshit his vision cleared and he could clearly see he was in a large prison cell? he wasnt sure if it was a cell or an office. then the doors in front of him opened and low and behold Lotor stood there.

fuck 

he went for his Bayard when he couldn't move his arm  infact he couldnt move anything but his head.  Lance looked down he saw chains to his bare feet. He looked to his wrists and saw chains on them it dawned on him he was only wearing trousers. the cuts on his wrists were visible.

 He felt tears form in his eyes Lotor walked up to his and wiped them away. “ you have such a pretty expression right now. I wonder what the team would think if they saw you right now? I bet there on there way right now, because they noticed their sharp shooter is gone.”

lance laughed. “they-they would notice or care. why do you think i let you capture me instead of Pidge? hmm because they need her. They dont need me” Lotor stopped. When Lance looked him the eyes he saw sadness and understanding? no how could Lotor understand, nobody knew what is was like. then he heard Lotors voice low and full of sadness “If only I knew that, I would of taken you sooner.”

Cut to Lotor letting Lance go   lance escaping. Lance  being solo and a freedom fighter saving prisoners and giving them a choice stay with him and fight the Garla or go home. Lance now has a small army, they run into voltron. No one but Hunk recognises the leader first. They ask him why he left and other questions Lance tells them that they were hecking bad people making him feel like trash and how when he flirts his is met with groans and eye rolls but when Matt or someone else flirts its just hecks and giggles. cut to Lance saying how he was never needed because he was right, he was replaced but now he can’t be replaced because he has a true team who love him he says bye and leaves with his team of rebels. The others just stand there ( others being hunk, pidge, Keith, allora, shiro, matt) stunned. They realise  that they are a-holes and should of treated him better. cut to the garla being defeated. Voltron invite Lotor to join them as he helped destroy the garla from the inside but he declines and tells them what Lance told him and how he and Lance have been working together the hole time the war was on (which is true). They realise how much lance could of helped them. (sorry I'm rambling but I cant help it hECK) cut to them (voltron) going to earth and seeing Lance in Tesco’s (idk bro just go with it) and at first running up to him but the they see just how much scars he has. they have had their fair share but heck he’s got a lot of them. Hunk goes up to him and starts a conversation. At first Lance has a cold look in his eyes but after a while it goes away since Hunk was his friend and all. cut to the others joining in and lance tells them about his adventures and stuff. cut to Lance telling them about how he is leaving earth next week to go and check on his team them being sad so they invite him for a sleepover. cut to sleep over shiro says he is too old for this heck but them dragging him there same story with Keith. its the original 5. Lance is woken up from a nightmare by Shiro, Lance says thank you and says he’s going on a walk. Shiro is worried so joins him. Lance tells Shiro what his nightmare was and heck Shiro is like crying because he has been though so much and dad mode activated. Lance tells him about how his team mates died right infront of him and (holy moly I wrote too much okay I will wrap this up sorry) starts to cry. cut to him leaving the earth, he doesn't leave earth like he said...

Lance killed himself.

#langst #voltron #shiro #lance #keith #pidge #hunk #allura #self harm #I am so sorry lance #depression #help my blue boi #matt #heck #death #tesco #lotor

[thaliatimsh]

Hmmmmmm had a weird dream im just writing down so i dont forget:

I was at a work do or smth? And the first time it happened I accidentally found this? Like a soup tureen? With a few pieces of like a doll's tea-set in there w plastic beads rollin around too. Anyway I opened it up and when I looked inside I went back in time to the mid-90s and witnessed a murder? And started working with the detectives or smth but somehow i accidentally went back to my own time and i was super upset abt it

Then at the next work event i got gifted another time travel tureen and went back again - except that none of my money worked bc all the notes and coins have been changed and my cards didnt exist yet.

But tjis time around I'm in the same place, just like 20 years back, and there's anothet work event happening and im like.... hi guys im from the future at all the ppl i recognise and most of them ARE pretty chill abt it including my dad. But then a senior management lady from work came after me askin why i was at the event and didnt believe my time travel nonsense and ws gonna get me thrown out but i got rescued by someone who was like "i believe u and time can be changed, i swapped my husband for the baby i had that died bein born" but idk if she was actually a time traveller or not? Bc i didnt see her husband OR her kid.

So in the end i went back to my time again to avoid getting arrested and i had to pretend like i wasnt super bummed out abt not bein able to buy my 90s CDs but someone noticed and was like "i wrote to the bank and theyve made a note to the past that u can use ur present day debit card next time"

To which i was like... ossom. But now im thinkin... cant send a note 2 th past u Fools, thanks 4 the plot inconsistencies, me.

Like i should mentiom that the time travel tureens were some kind of ancient thing that for some reason only i could use. Huh.

Right before i got woken up there ws a tiny snippet abt the murdered kid whose ghost was haunting her brother & she caused an explosion in a hospital? Blew her own ghost ear off? Wish i knew where that ws going.

#i have weird dreams #long post///

[anti-yuri-on-ice]

essay on why katsuki is a very generic character and is just as overrated as the anime itself

hello people today i wrote an essay on why ya boi pork katsuki is only a very generic and mary sue character and isn’t reall that Big Of A Deal as so many people insisted. im doing a comparison of him and 4 other sports anime protags, which is a fucking disgrace bc yo/i isn’t even a sports anime. but since so many people think it is i might as well cater to their taste.

now before you send me hate and ask me why dont i spend my time elsewhere or that i dont have a life, yes, i want to spend my time hating on this anime, and second, i really do not have a life. if i had to bear with the y/oi fandom for 4 fucking months, you can deal with a small meta which you dont even have to read if you dont click ‘keep reading’

i wont go far into defining what exactly is a sports anime but here is a link for you to check it out yourself https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Sports_anime_and_manga. this page contains almost every sports anime/manga.

imo sports anime/manga tend to focus 50/50 on the actual sport and character development. while they spend a lot of time explaining/portraying certain tactics and skills, or having characters monologue through a montage, they often focus on one character at a time (at most two) when giving character development, and such development is often done through realisation during a game/competition/practice. apart from these, sports anime/manga is also about teamwork and friendship. the ultimate goal is often set to be the ‘national champion’ and the whole team works together towards this dream. either they do achieve the goal or not varies in different anime/manga.

so, lets go back to our beloved katsuki shall we. since y'all like to think that yoi is a ‘serious ice-skating anime’ *coughs* *false advertisement*, let’s do a comparison between him, and the other sports anime/manga characters from actual sports anime/manga.

I have chosen a few popular/well-known characters from recent sports anime/manga

Hinata Shouyou from Haikyuu

Onoda Sakamichi from Yowapeda

Fujida Tatara from Ballroom e Youkosou

Sawamura Eijun from Diamond no Ace

And I’m going to do a compare and contrast by listing out their

personality

ability and skills

supporters (people who support him throughout the story)

hardships

Hinata Shouyou

personality: ray of sunshine, positive, cheerful, very determined, wants to play volleyball more than anything else, and doing so also gives him the utmost joy. may be a bit of a nuisance sometimes but the goods of this child still weighs out all the bads.

ability and skills: starts off as a 60% rookie, grows up as a strong player and a valuable member of the team. again, he achieved this by being determined. has stamina through extensive training, can jump very high.

supporters: his family, his middle school friends, and now his teammates

hardships: being at disadvantage because he is too short, being teased because of it, having doubts about himself and whether or not he can really be the next chiisana kyojin or not. losing his first competition (cries forever) (now i haven’t read the manga in a while or watched the third season of the anime so i don't want to add inaccurate details)

2. Onoda Sakamichi

personality: easily intimidated, has very low self-confidence and is very shy so he doesn’t have friends in middle school at all. can talk for hours about his favourite anime/character, very loyal to friends and is also helpful to others. genuinely enjoys being in a road racing team after mastering it.

ability and skills: again, starts off as a 100% rookie, grows up to be the national champion (sheds a tear). wins through sheer determination and the will to chase after others.

supporters: his mother, his two best friends in high school, his rival, and his senpais (especially Makishima, who is a great inspiration and role model to him)

hardships: having no friends before high school, zero self confidence, his mother has shown little knowledge in what he’s actually doing (tho she is still very supportive), nearly losing his first race because his bike broke down, chasing a hundred people in a race because he fell, and now holding the weigh of being a national champion and meeting people’s expectations and his own expectations.

3. Fujida Tatara

personality: very socially awkward, doesn’t really know how to express himself and gets teased/bullied because of it. starts dancing by chance and has no former interest/experience in it but learns to enjoy it and wants to master it.

ability and skills: starts of as a 100% rookie and now he is picking up skills here and there and has great potential in winning future competitions.

supporters: his teachers, his dance partners and the friends he met at the dance studio

hardships: still not yet very skilful in dancing and there is still a lot for him to learn. wants to ace every competition but at the same time knows it is impossible. had a big fight with his current dance partner and might cause collaborative problems with her.

4. Sawamura Eijun

personality: OVERHYPED all the time, shouts very loud, sometimes very annoying but is tolerated by his friends and teammates. at the same cares and encourages people all the time, very friendly, isn’t afraid to speak up, recognises rivals’ strengths and works hard to surpass them

ability and skills: he is scouted into a very good baseball team and has great skills and more potential yet to be discovered. trains hard, runs hard, and shouts a lot too.

supporters: his family, his childhood friends from his hometown, his teammates, and himself.

hardships: fear of being replaced mid-game, not being competitive enough in such a strong team, being very far away from home, very frustrated to why he can’t control the ball as he wish, fights with his catcher/captain a couple of times.

Now we look at katsuki

personality: very anxious all the time when he is a professional sportsman and should have a great deal of experience when dealing with defeat, low self-confidence, whiney, but sometimes is also weirdly positive and upbeat and non-whiney (inconsistent characterisation which is read as ‘unreliable narrator’ by the fandom)

ability and skills: is literally an international-level skater but somehow is not good at his job (?) idk because he is an ~unreliable narrator~ and has a lot of ~depth~

supporters: his family and friends back home (whose support is often neglected), and ofc, victor-senpai uwuwuwuwuwu

hardships: self-inflicted drama and inferiority complex and ‘omg what should i do victor-senpai will leave my ass if i dont win ;;;;;;;;;’

From this we can see

katsuki is a very generic character personality wise, and his personality isn't even charming. it’s just fucking annoying.

HIS JOB IS BEING A SKATER LITERALLY LIKE???? JUST HOW UNPROFESSIONAL CAN YOU BE WHINING ABOUT EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF Y O U R JO B

he only values support from victor-senpai because his family and friends doesn't mean shit to him. they exist to run the onsen hotel where victor-senpai can flash him in front of everybody.

he hardly went through any real hardships as far as i can see. like i get that at first he was unfit to skate but then he magically can again and then everything was just great for him. everyone loves him (for some reason mmm do i sense a mary sue here) and he got noticed by victor-senpai through pole dancing and he hardly even practiced bc he spent all his time dating victor-senpai and won silver. lmao.

#anti yoi