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lavenderfeminist · 4 months

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Do you ever worry about doing more harm than good? Feminism is one of the most important things for our society. However your viewpoints on feminism are quite different than a lot of people’s, including a handful of your friends. Do you ever feel like you’ll have any chance someday that your thoughts will change and you will be able to at least partially recognize MtF people as women, FtM people as men, etc., especially considering the medical studies on gender dysphoria? I’m curious. I am a non-binary individual (and because I just know there’s going to be assumptions otherwise, I was assigned female at birth), and I can genuinely empathize with the feminist aspects (not the trans exclusionary ones) of the TERF movement: women need more rights and protections, abortion is a human right, men oppress women (and people like me who don’t identify as women but still present fully as such for acceptance reasons) and this needs to change, etc. I just wish people in these circles would focus on that rather than painting trans women as this huge problem. I’ve met a trans woman when she was still identifying as a man, her dysphoria was extremely hard for her. She’s started transitioning now and has always been respectful and supportive of the other women in her life. I guess I’m just ever the optimist, that y’all will realize, yes there are a handful of shitty men out there who want to use the trans identity for something harmful, but there are shitty people from all walks of life, and overall even if our experiences with our birth sex are different, trans women shouldn’t be shunned more than they already are. I can’t believe I wrote this whole thing on a terf blog because ik it won’t change your mind but respond as you wish I guess lol

Yeah, I used to be what some would refer to as a "transmed"/"truscum". In other words, I viewed transgenderism/transexualism as a medical issue resulting from a discrepancy between someone's brain and their outward sex. I have not and will never consider being "nonbinary" a legitimate identity; there is no third sex. And before someone says "what about intersex people!", intersex conditions are sex specific and more accurately called disorders of sexual development (DSDs). Stop using them as pawns in your invalid arguments.

There is no chance of me ever reverting to that set of beliefs again in the case of today's evidence. If presented with evidence that it is physically possible for someone to have a female brain in a male body or vice-versa, and medically possible to verify this in a given individual, my beliefs would change again. But not only is the "brainsex" argument nonsensical when taken to its conclusion (a "female" brain in an otherwise-male body is simply a variation of a male brain...), but modern science very clearly demonstrates that there really are not significant enough biological differences between male and female brains for us to even make a distinction wide enough to sort tran people.

I once passionately believed what you do (to an extent), but I cannot anymore, for these reasons:

The modern trans movement is lying to you. They're telling you that the "transwomen in bathrooms" arguments are a lie, right? That transwomen just want to pee like everyone else? I believed them too, until I was confronted with undeniable evidence that trans women are just as predatory in women's bathrooms as men dressed as women (shocking, because there's no actual distinction being offered to allow the former while barring the latter from women's bathrooms). If anybody who says they're a woman is allowed in women's bathrooms, actual gender feelings are irrelevant, because any man can enter a female space so long as he says the right things.

"Woman" to me holds no more meaning than being a adult human being of the female sex. I have no other associations beyond that. So "trans women are women" is as false to me as "gingerbread women are women". If you say "trans women identify with the gender associated with women", I will agree with you, because femininity, the sex role (gender) assigned to women, is something a man can want to perform. But trans women are not women, because they are not female, and to claim that half of the population calls themself the word for "woman" in their language for any reason other than being female is to assert that half the population identifies with femininity, and that is regressive. I have nothing in common with a trans woman other than us both claiming the word "woman", and that is an absolutely meaningless similarity. I literally have more in common with every trans man on the planet by virtue of inhabiting a female body.

I still believe in sex dysphoria. I still believe that ADULTS with sex dysphoria are entitled to make decisions to modify their bodies, even if they are decisions I find confusing/dangerous/odd, so long as they are adequately informed about the medical risks and consequences of their decisions. I simply do not believe that this necessitates me remaining uncritical of the social and capitalistic factors that may motivate transition for reasons not covered by innate sex dysphoria.

I do not believe in gender identity, and I never will. I do not believe in gendered souls, gendered feelings, etc. I do not believe any sense of gender is innate. A man who feels like a woman is, to me, simply a man making assumptions about the way women feel. A man who wishes he was female is, to me, someone with the rights to make body modifications that mimic a female body, but not someone who will ever be female. I do not believe there is anything inherently different between men and women save for our sexes. Thus, there is no avenue through my worldview in which a transwoman could ever be a woman.

I support your right to believe in gender identity, the same way I support a Christian's right to believe in souls. But I am not obligated to participate in or validate your beliefs, the same way I do not need to participate in or validate a Christian belief in souls. That does not make me transphobic, in the same way that it does not make me Christianphobic. Stop reducing the actual, real hatred that some people have for gender nonconformity to a lack of religious beliefs.

#asks #jan 2024

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shutterlens · 7 months

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About Me + DNI:

• I am staunchly pro-Palestine and I aim to advocate as best as I can for the liberation of the Palestinian people. Ceasefire now. 🇵🇸🍉

• I am currently testing out a new online identity because my old online identity has appropriated the yin-yang symbol, an important and significant symbol of east Asian culture, for far too long. I sincerely apologize for having been complicit in such hurtful practices and I will do what I can to do better in the future.

• I am autistic and have been diagnosed as such since about late elementary school.

• You are not allowed to use my art in NFTs or AI generation at all. No exceptions.

• This blog is a SFW (not sexual and not kink or fetish) art blog, though I may occassionally post gore art onto here, which may be distressing to some viewers.

• I do not post or share reblog bait anymore (not even from mutuals) to preserve the mental well-being of both myself and others who are distressed by it.

[To my mutuals: if you want to put reblog bait on your blog when you know I am following you here on Tumblr, please tag the post you're reblogging as reblog bait, e.g.- "#tw reblog bait" to let me know that I am safe to ignore it without feeding my instinctual fear with this kind of content.]

• How I primarily tag distressing/triggering content:

#tw [distressing content]

• My Current Favorite Media:

Crashbox

DHMIS (the original web series)

Trivia Murder Party

Quiplash

Deltarune

• My Current Favorite Music Artists/Bands:

Lemon Demon

Gorillaz

Nirvana

• My Current Blog Tags:

#shutterlens = my current posts

#shutterlens vent = my current vents

#shutterlens art = my new art (on or after May 2, 2024) • My Old Blog Tags: #8bityinyangart = my old art

#8bityinyang vent = my old vents

#8bityinyang = my old posts - The following Do Not Interact list is completely non-negotiable. This is something that I fully stand by and do not want to hear any argument about.

Do Not Interact: • Any and all accounts who are and/or support the following:

• AI generation users who wrongfully claim to be "artists" or "writers"

• Predators, e.g.- child predators/(NO)MAP, zoophiles, incest, etc.

• Proshippers (those who make predatory (e.g.- child-adult sexual/romantic relationships, incestuous, abusive, etc.) ships within fictional media. The glamorization of these predatory fictional ships normalizes and encourages real-life predatory behavior and is therefore not accepted by me under any circumstance.

• Bigots, e.g.- queerphobes (e.g.- homophobes, anti-mspec bigotry, aphobes (including aspec-exclusionists), transphobes (including transmeds, TERFS, and more), anti-nonbinary bigotry, etc.), racists, antisemites, fatphobes, islamophobes, ableists, misogynists, etc.

• Supporters of the ongoing genocide on Palestine (zionist/pro-genocide/etc.)

• Accounts that post primarily sexually explicit, overly gory, or kink and/or fetish-related content (I have designated my main account here to be SFW (not sexual), so, even though I'm mostly pro-kink as long as it doesn't harm anyone, I do not feel comfortable with being associated with NSFW (sexual)/gore content.)

• Anyone who is either at or under the age of 13 (This blog may contain content that those who are 13 and under would find distressing.)

#dni list #shutterlens #8bityinyang #byi #before you interact #before you follow #rules

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discyours · 9 months

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What do you think of nonbinary people, as in the ones who transition and go on hormones and have surgeries but do not identify as a man or woman? Are they harming trans people?

As a former transmed, I'd say they're used as a scapegoat in respectability politics. It's easy to point and go "I have a real identity that's established in science, you're just being weird and embarrassing the rest of us" to avoid confronting all the doubts society still has about binary trans identity.

Are there real people who were on board with trans acceptance until it became more complicated than just wanting to become the opposite sex? Sure. Is that productive to dwell on? Probably not.

#anon

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dazzling-dollyz · 2 years

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Ugh, great. Tumblr is making me sad now too lol.

I knew there were terfs and radfems, but I didn't expect there to be SO MANY. You just see transmeds, radfems and terfs literally on NEARLY EVERY POST trans women will talk about their experiences, even if it has NOTHING TO DO with them, even if they're asked to not interact.

I straight up saw and had to block a bunch of radfems and terfs on here calling a nonbinary person a NARCISSIST just for talking about their experience exploring their gender identity over the years, and saying they just "wanted to be special". ????

Then I saw them dunking on another trans woman who was talking about this phenomenon transphobes often do where they project their feelings of cis men onto trans women (which I think was worded very well and it helped me really understand why a lot of transphobia occurs, and I'm super thankful she could explain it in a way that made sense), and all the comments were misgendering her and calling her crazy and delusional, and acting like she was forcing them to be into her when literally all she was saying was just "don't lump us in with how you feel about cis men cuz we're not the same and not even all trans women experience sex the same way". She never, at any point, demanded you be into her, she just asked to not be treated with disrespect. And I don't understand how all these radfems act like they get to tell her she's wrong when, hello, you're not trans? She is?? She knows the trans experience and other trans people? Who are you to act like you get to police that?

It just makes me really fuckin depressed and anxious, especially thinking about all my trans friends and my partner who probably have to deal with disgusting people like this, whether they're transfem, transmasc, non binary, etc. Radfems don't care - they just want a reason to hate on someone and use them as scapegoats and it sucks. It fucking sucks.

They even tried to speak for bi women when it's like? No?? I'm a bi woman and I'm not a transphobic jerk?? As someone who's a bi girl and is also afraid of most men to an extent, I'm not going to use my past trauma in order to be hateful because 1.) That's a shitty thing to do, 2.) Even if my nb partner had a dick i would still love them all the same bscause they are kind, caring, and listen so much better than anyone else I've been with, 3.) You're not going to solve misogyny with even more misogyny and bigotry.It makes me so fucking afraid even if I'm a cis woman because, damnit, I just want my fucking friends to be happy without hateful people like this.

Hell, I even saw them accusing CIS WOMEN of "not being real women" when they didn't approve of them. I saw some blogs rb some shit like " 'some women don't produce eggs--' are you sure they're real women?" And that just made my fucking blood boil. Because it just fucking PROVES they don't care about women. If they did they would understand plenty of cis women want kids, plenty of them want families but can't have them, plenty of disabled women aren't able to produce eggs due to their illnesses, plenty of women from other ethnicities like Hispanic women might have features they consider masculine like more visible body hair (something that, as a Hispanic woman, made me feel very icky and gross until I accepted body hair was not a gendered thing, no matter how much society pushed it to me as one.)

And I will never, ever understand how you would push these stupid expectations on women everyone, trans and cis alike, when you know damn well how fuckin hard and painful it is to constantly be forced to meet society's standards. If you REALLY want "liberation", why are you oppressing people even further? If you really want equality, why are you beating people down? Why are you forcing us all to fit in boxes?

They act like they're so woke and big brained to hate on trans people like this but really, they're just hateful and contributing to the hate non-men everywhere have had to endure for ages just for not being men. And I will never, ever accept someone that does things like that as a feminist.

You are NOT a feminist if your activism is limited only to women you personally like and approve of.

#tw vent #tw transphobes #transphobia #tw misgendering #if you don't like someone and they're not doing anything to you then just leave them the fuck alone for the love of God #feminism #i really needed to get this out there #i hope terfs don't fucking flood my mentions now #i just want people to stop being so hateful and gross #and to stop putting us in boxes #is that too much to ask

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nothorses · 3 years

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I hope it’s okay that I just lowkey vent, I’m not requiring actual mental or emotional labor from you, but if you or your followers have any opinions, I’m open to them.

I’ve been out for like a decade, and at first ftm mlm spaces were a refuge for me. Cis gay male spaces can be really really toxic with their body requirements and their judgement of gnc men and their enforcement of a binary between masc emotionally unavailable tops and sensitive unreasonable demanding twink bottoms and their hookup culture and just everything. Not to mention that jokes about vulvas and breasts being disgusting are EVERYWHERE.

But in trans mlm spaces the vibe was so accepting. I felt really comfortable and understood. I could go up to a trans mlm guy and know we more or less had similar identities. We could commiserate about binders and the limitations of phalloplasty and how weird it could be to try and fit in with cis gay men. Talk about learning to love ourselves and the more ‘gross’ changes that came with HRT and how it gave us a flat ass and zero waist definition. It felt like there was a massive sense of camaraderie and mutual understanding based on us all being men who loved men?

And over the past decade I’ve seen the community turn more and more to include nb people. I respect nb identities and I think they deserve support and respect as members of the trans community (when they identify with the term and all) etc etc, but now I feel like I can’t get away from nb identities in trans mlm spaces? Like… I feel like almost everyone identifies as a nonbinary trans man or a trans masc enby. The communities are filled with jokes about wanting to destroy gender and how gender isn’t real or is meaningless. Inside jokes about how people will be called he him but they’re not a man but you can call them a boy or a boy girl girl boy. Or their gender is a werewolf cryptid boyfriend. Or how their gender is just Gay and they aren’t male outside of loving other men.

This sounds like I’m complaining about Those Damn En Bee Trenders, but I genuinely am happy for them. I’m really glad that they’re learning to be comfortable and love themselves and connect with others like them, but it makes me feel really lost. Every post is geared to include them in a way that makes them alienating to me. Nothing feels like it has the feeling of simply being a man who likes other men, and all of the gross sweaty oily hairy jockstraps getting caught in your newly grown leg hair moments or whatever. Everyone is a picture perfect hairless vampire bf in expensive lingerie, and again I’m undesirable and unloveable.

It’s started to make me reflexively really bitter about nb trans mascs. I don’t want to be a bitter transmed or something. I want to love the community and not quietly be an awful seething hateful person. I feel like I’m a bad person nowdays. I never attack nb men, but I just… feel so angry that they’re always mlm AND nblm AND nblnb spaces now, and there’s nowhere to go to get away and just see the niche content that makes me feel seen and supported anymore.

How do I stop being a toxic nbphobe? Feel free to roast me or call me problematic or point out what an idiot I am, because I KNOW I’m awful and I sound awful. I just don’t know how to stop.

I hope it’s okay I sent this to you. I just feel like you’re a levelheaded person who would care and. Yeah.

I think what you're feeling is pretty natural, actually. I don't mean that it's Good or Reasonable, or that nonbinary folks are actually doing anything wrong- because they're not! And I think both of us understand that here; it's a good thing that transmasc spaces are broadening to include more people, that our community is growing, and that there are more and more ways to be transmasc & be accepted for who you are.

It is hard, though, to feel like the spaces you had to be who you are are being narrowed down to nothing; and it's normal to feel some reflexive resentment in response to that.

I think there's a valid point here, too, that some of this is probably coming from internalized transandrophobia. A lot of folks are exploring their identities without really unpacking the ideas they hold that have prevented them from doing so in the past, and finding these middle grounds where they can be "acceptable" transmascs: boy but not man, cute and pure and digestible, respected as A He/Him without ever being seen as the gross ugly sweaty monster they still believe men are.

And at the same time, a lot of folks are just genuinely boys but not men, want to be cute, want their he/him pronouns respected, and don't really feel they are Men in the way lots of other men are. A lot of them have honestly unpacked those feelings, respect the men who are men in those ways, love them, support them, and fight for them to have space here as well. They're a part of our community, and we both need to support each other.

We can't always tell one from the other, and we can't reject the transmascs who don't associate with the same kind of manhood we do just in case some of them might be doing it out of internalized bigotry- in the same way that we deserve space in the community, despite some of us clinging to these versions of manhood out of a different kind of internalized bigotry (i.e. nbphobia and truscum ideology).

You know all that, I'm sure, but I say it anyway because sometimes it does help to remember that all of us feel these things, to some degree. All of us have to get over it.

It doesn't make you a bad person to have those feelings- they're natural, and beating yourself up for experiencing normal human emotions isn't going to help anyone. Take a deep breath. Accept that the feelings exist, and understand why they do. Then let them go.

You are choosing not to act on them, you are choosing to understand that they're not reasonable or correct or helpful, and you are choosing to move past them in order to do better. That choice is what defines who you are and what you "really" believe, and that's what matters.

#long post #vent ask

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space-1z-cool · 3 years

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Rant/Vent

trans discourse, transphobia, bullying, sui tw

You wanna know what i've seen?

I've seen truscum telling non-passing trans people they're cis. I've seen truscum telling ppl to kts for existing as a genderfluid person.

I've seen truscum and transmeds harass nonbinary people and gnc trans people on the internet. I've legitimately seen them bully them on the internet. Because they don't think the person's gender exists. I've seen people speculate whether or not somebody has dysphoria over A SINGLE VIDEO OR PICTURE. and i'm not just talking 'die<3' I'm talking misgendering, harassment, [remember the person who literally almost kts because of harassment from kalvin garrah?? and then proceeded to get harassed MORE at the mental health facility they went to?] like this is extremely harmful. Especially to those who can't pass no matter how hard they try, and to those who may be questioning but are fearful that they'll get called a trender because they can't pass. Or for trans people who have given up on trying to pass and instead dress for joy. [not saying passing isn't joy for some people!!]

Yes, trans people should have easy access to medical care. But that includes ALL trans people who wish to medically transition**, which is something we still have to fight for, especially for BBIA/BIPOC people. [whether they use neopronouns, xenogenders, other microlabels, or they're a binary trans person who wishes to just exist as the gender they know themself as. ]**

But i have also seen people telling truscum and transmeds to "die <3'"

very far, but is also counter productive unless that person has made it very clear that they aren't open to discussion and or has openly harassed and bullied other trans kids/people, then i can see the reasoning behind it although i don't condone it.

I don't understand the exclus point of view at all. /srs it makes zero sense to me. Microlabels aren't harmful to the lgbtq+/queer community. They are to help people find themselves if they want to.

People forcing labels onto others isn't cool either. It's fine to be a binary trans person. it's fine to use non microlabels. But it's also fine to use microlabels, and be a non-binary trans person. I was a transmed when i first discovered the trans community when i was 12.

I have figured out that it was due to internalized transphobia and wanting to be a "good trans" because I really just wanted to be gendered correctly. Now I've realized that i'm genderfaun/gendersatyr, ace-spec, and cinthean/vincean and predominently t4t. And i've realized that I hated neopronouns and xenogenders so much because I knew that if I ever wanted to use them nobody would use them for me. But that is not my fault. And i've accepted that I like neos and xenos.

as a young trans person who couldn't pass due to family situations and i secretly did like skirts still- truscum ideology fucked me up and made me extremely suicidal. and made me hate myself and repress my identity. and i projected that hatred onto others who had the courage to be themselves. [luckily i was 12-13 during this phase so I couldn't harass anyone online for this]

Sure neopronouns don't make you trans, being GNC doesn't make you trans. Using a diff set of pronouns doesn't make you trans. BUT you can be trans and use neos, and be gnc, and use dif pronouns.

Pronouns are a form of gender expression, and therefore do not equal gender. I've never seen a tucute say that "oh ur a tomboy??? no ur actually [insert gender]" In fact i don't think i've ever even heard that from anyone. [for reference me and my entire friend group are tucutes. and we are all trans with some form of dysphoria]

And it really pisses me off, the terf-esque characatures that i've seen truscum use. The fact that they'll go out of their way to misgender people. And if i'm being completely honest

THERE ARE BIGGER PROBLEMS THAT TRANS PEOPLE FACE THAN WHETHER OR NOT SOMEBODY USES NEOPRONOUNS OR MICROLABELS OR IF SOMEONE IS NONBINARY AND ID'S AS GAY OR A LESBIAN.

sOME OF THESE THINGS INCLUDE [tw for m//rd//r, transphobia, hatecrimes, etc]

Transwomen, especially Black, Brown, Indiginous, asian, and other POC trans women getting murdered and hatecrimed and abused for simply existing, and they're the ones carrying the majority of the trans community in activism

Transphobia WITHIN the queer/LGBTQ+ community

Trans human rights

people gettign kicked out of their homes

ppl being outed

Trans rights WORLDWIDE

racism within the trans community

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aropinions · 3 years

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So What Is Exclusionism, Anyway?

As I've looked through inclusionist circles, I've come to a startling realization that most of them have an extremely skewed understanding of what exclusionism is (along with its various offshoots, subtypes, and related beliefs). They equate it to hatred of whatever group is being excluded, and they don't think people part of the excluded group could ever support exclusionism.

So, I've decided to write a long post to clear up some of those misconceptions. This post is mainly targeted to inclusionists and people wondering where they stand on the inclus/exclus sides of various types of discourse, but if you're exclusionist already, please feel free to reblog or boost it. <3 Thanks in advance for reading!

I'll start by introducing myself. Hi, I'm Ivy, or at least that's what I go by on here. I am a heterosexual, aromantic female. I am neurodivergent (ADHD, so forgive me if I ramble or write in a scatterbrained way) and have several other mental illnesses that I don't wish to talk about online. I do not have gender dysphoria, but I do not "feel feminine," and my personality has been described as rather masculine. In fact, many people in the inclusionist trans community have tried to convince me that I'm nonbinary because I don't feel a strong connection to a female gender, and I'll talk about that more later in this post.

I'm going to put all my relevant discourse opinions on the table right now. (In the next paragraph, I'm going to explain what all these labels actually mean and why they don't automatically make someone a horrible person.) Contrary to popular belief, I am not a trans-exclusionary radical feminist (TERF), an aphobe, a transphobe, or a bigot. I am ace-exclusionist, aro-exclusionist, trans-exclusionist, transmedicalist, pro-LGB, and gender-critical.

Now here's the fun part. Bear with me -- we're about to debunk the myths about these opinions, explain each term's real definition, and talk about some of the reasoning behind the beliefs.

Exclusionism, as a blanket term, is the belief that gatekeeping is necessary to make any group or community meaningful and safe. Various types of exclusionists fight against the lumping together of various marginalized identities or groups, because they believe that letting different types of people into spaces meant for more specific groups will detract from the safety and functionality of those spaces. They do not hate the groups they are excluding, and they typically want to exclude both ways. For example, ace exclusionists don't want allosexual LGBT let into ace spaces any more than they want asexuals let into LGBT spaces. Many exclusionists in LGBT discourse support the exclusion of groups that they themselves are part of, because in addition to the idea that it's harmful to the main LGBT community to lump them into it, they also think their group deserves its own recognition as a separate thing from the LGBT community. Exclusionism is not hatred.

Time to get into more specific terms. Let's start pretty simple, with truscum and transmeds. Someone who is truscum believes that people must have dysphoria to be trans. Someone who is transmedicalist believes that gender dysphoria is a mental disorder, and that transness is a medical condition synonymous with gender dysphoria. All transmeds are truscum, but not all truscum are transmeds. Most truscums and transmeds are against MOGAI, neopronouns, gender microlabels (e.g. genderflux or demiboy), and xenogenders. Most truscums believe in nonbinary people. There are some transmeds who don't believe nonbinary dysphoria is real, but they're not the majority.

The direct opposite of truscum and transmed is "tucute," which denotes a belief that dysphoria is not required to be transgender and gender identity is completely unrelated to biological sex or medical disorders/conditions. Tucutes also generally support MOGAI, xenogenders, neurogenders, microlabels, and neopronouns.

Next, we have bio-essentialism. Bio-essentialism is the belief that oppression is based on biological sex, not gender identity, and that identifying as a different gender than your birth sex doesn't automatically mean you are oppressed. This doesn't necessarily mean bio-essentialists believe that gender doesn't exist or that you can't identify as whatever you want, just that your social oppression is based off your biological sex. Not all bio-essentialists are truscum or transmeds, but most are. Bio-essentialists prominently use the terms "male" and "female" to describe biological sex rather than gender identity, and non-radical ones will use "man" and "woman" as blanket terms that include transmen and transwomen while maintaining "male" and "female" as words for biological sex only.

Then, we have the big bad term, TERF. I've seen a lot of people misuse the TERF label, so I'm going to try to clarify its actual meaning. The acronym stands for "trans-exclusionary radical feminist." It's important to break that down into two main parts -- TE and RF -- because trans-exclusionists are often called TERFs when most of them don't fit the "RF" part of the acronym at all.

Trans-exclusionism (TE) means that you believe transgender issues/discourse/activism should be separated from LGB issues/discourse/activism because they are fundamentally different. L, G and B all have one thing in common: being attracted to people of the same sex as you. T is about someone's gender, not their sexual orientation, so trans-exclusionists believe that the LGB and the T should not be lumped into the same community. It doesn't mean they think trans people deserve less respect or are not real. Most trans-exclusionists are also truscum or transmedicalist, but not all are. Many trans-exclusionists who are also feminists are gender-critical, but not all are. Pro-LGB is a synonym of trans-exclusionist, but in my experience, people who describe themselves as "pro-LGB" are more likely to also be gender-critical than those who identify themselves as "trans-exclusionist."

Radical feminism (RF) is a subset of feminism that -- in addition to general feminist beliefs -- is anti-porn, anti-kink, against the makeup industry, and very often openly misandrist. Radical feminists are not always trans-exclusionist, and trans-exclusionists are not always radical feminists (in fact, most aren't). Most radfems are anti-capitalist, and all are against pink capitalism and rainbow capitalism (the commercialization of feminist ideas, gay rights, etc.) Most radfems are truscum or transmedicalist, but not all are.

All TERFs are also gender-critical. "Gender-critical" people are bio-essentialist, but they go a step further to say that gender identity is a meaningless term, and that biological sex is the sole basis of oppression. However, one can be gender-critical and still support trans people if one is a transmedicalist. GC transmeds believe that trans people are still oppressed in society according to their biological sex, not their gender identity, but that social/physical transitioning is acceptable as a treatment for the mental disorder known as gender dysphoria.

Neither trans-exclusionism nor radical feminism is inherently transphobic or hateful toward transgender people. To differentiate a regular trans-exclusionist from a TERF, ask yourself if the person fits the radfem beliefs outlined above. If not, they aren't a TERF.

Now that all of that is covered, we can talk about the last couple types of exclusionism I want to touch on -- asexual exclusionism and aromantic exclusionism. These almost always come together as a package called aro/ace-exclusionism or aspec-exclusionism, but it is technically possible to be ace-exclusionist and not aro-exclusionist (or vice versa), though I've never personally met someone with such beliefs. Aspec-exclusionists believe that aspec people should not be included in the LGBT community because the lack of sexual or romantic attraction is a completely separate struggle and involves separate experiences than having attractions that exist, but are not heterosexual. Some more extreme aro/ace exclusionists strongly gatekeep aromanticism and asexuality. These ones don't believe in microlabels on the "aro spectrum" or "ace spectrum" such as demisexual or grayromantic. They maintain the belief that if someone has sexual attraction (regardless of whether they actually pursue people sexually) then they are not asexual, and if someone feels romantic attraction at all (even if they don't pursue romantic relationships) they are not aromantic.

Aro/ace-exclusionists, regardless of their beliefs on aromantic and asexual spectrums or microlabels, are not inherently aphobic. They only want aromanticism and asexuality to be separated from the rest of the LGB or LGBT community, and treated as their own distinct identities.

I hope this post was informative, and if anyone has feedback on anything I should edit, they should let me know in replies. Regardless of your beliefs, if you actually read this whole post or even just scrolled to the bottom, I'd like to offer a sincere thanks for bearing with me thus far. If you are an inclusionist or otherwise disagree with the things in the post, but you read it anyway, I have a lot of respect for your willingness to hear opinions other than yours rather than blindly blocking out everything you disagree with.

No matter who you are, I hope you have a great day. <3

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pbscore · 3 years

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Ok, so...I’ve now become far more comfortable in my body than I was before and I’m not too interested in getting top surgery, as much (it’s still a possibility for the future but I don’t feel a need for it anymore), but let me tell y’all why, if anyone really wants to know lol:

After being on T for a little over a year, I’ve come to see my body as just a vehicle in this world. Like everyone else, I just happened to be born with certain parts that ignorant people have claimed are meant to belong to a specific ‘gender or sex.’ I’m not obligated to change or even hate those parts of myself just because other people are projecting their own, brainwashed and outdated, ideas of gender identity and presentation onto other folks that they don’t quite understand.

Before I started T, I was so worried that I would start it and then become disappointed with how I looked or that I wouldn’t be able to handle the more ‘masculine’ aspects of my body that would become more prominent. I had been bombarded with those thoughts from all the self-hating truscum/transmeds online, who would always claim that ‘trenders will only feel more dysphoric if they take hormones when they don’t feel any dysphoria uwu’.

And then, one year later, I’ve realized that not only was that a blatant lie based on their own fear of rejection from cishet society, overall, but it also grossly undermines and simplifies the various reasons why some folks (cis, trans, and nonbinary) decide to take hormones and why some folks may decide to stop.

For me, I’ve come to love the shape of my jawline, my hips, and my legs! I have wider shoulders and, when I let it grow, a good amount of stubble on my cheeks and chin! My hair grows back super fast on my face and on my head, which was the complete opposite of what I was told would happen if I started T. My little friend downstairs (👀🍆💦) has grown a LOT, and can definitely get annoying when it’s excited, but honestly, I don’t mind having a sexual appetite after years of not caring too much about it. I also actually have a REAL appetite for food and I’m more responsible about eating when I’m hungry, instead of forcing myself to wait. My voice is deeper, fuller, and richer than before! My temper isn’t as ‘bad’ or ‘unhinged’ as some people told me it would be but that could certainly be more of an environmental problem than a hormone issue, is what I’ve learned. I’m far less impulsive with my words and instead of bursting into tears the moment someone corrects me on something, I can actually see past my own self-hatred and understand that I’m not being personally attacked.

While I look and sound more ‘masculine,’ I also discovered that I genuinely didn’t hate anything that was considered ‘feminine,’ nor was I obligated to hate it in order to seem more ‘like a man.’ In fact, now I feel more confident wearing jewelry, makeup, and ‘shapely’ clothing because I know that my body, voice, and way of carrying myself has changed in a self-affirming and confident way. People often don’t question my identity but that could also be due to my choice in fashion (super goth and gender-neutral). I no longer cringe at other people slipping up and calling me ‘she,’ not because I accept these pronouns (I later correct them on this) but due to my understanding that there are folks who may look similar to how I present, who are also women/nonbinary, and that people need to get used to seeing folks like us in ANY space, while respecting our existence regardless of our pronouns. So, basically, I don’t mind if people think I’m a woman in passing or if they just met me, as long as they understand that I’m not one after I’ve corrected them. Also, I now have a better appreciation for my breasts in a way I’ve never felt before but more for their role in sexual situations and aesthetics, not for like...having kids or whatever 😂 (sorry, still not interested in physically having children for anyone lol).

Now that I’ve come to the conclusion that I LOVE being nonbinary and that I have no real attachments to the ideas of ‘womanhood’ and ‘manhood,’ I no longer feel a pressing need to rush my transition (whatever it may end up looking like for me). Being nonbinary, and doing research on the historical elements of ‘gender/sex’ and how they’ve dictated so many (often ridiculous) divisions in our current system, has opened my mind up to more possibilities of what my transition can look like in the future. It doesn’t have to be what other trans and nonbinary folks say it was like for them because I’m my own person. I make my own decisions and I’m the only one who can determine what would make me feel happy with myself, at the end of the day.

I know this is just me rambling but I really felt the need to write this up and send it out into the world, so folks (especially young lgbtq+ folks) who feel the a similar way can see it and know that they aren’t alone in what they feel. Y’all can feel free to reblog and share your own story if you’d like, all I ask is that y’all be respectful and not act like a bigoted clown!

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shrimpmandan · 3 years

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Stop trying to use gender euphoria as a "gotcha" for transmeds, please.

Gender euphoria IS real. I don't disagree with the notion that gender euphoria is a more unifying experience. Focusing on the positive is fine! But then y'all use it to try and stick it to transmeds.

You still need dysphoria. Euphoria can't exist without dysphoria, considering that euphoric feeling stems from said dysphoria being alleviated. You become overwhelmed with positive emotions because you're used to feeling numb/uncomfortable/distressed. Pretty basic psychology stuff.

I accepted that I was trans BECAUSE of gender euphoria, so I'm not that biased against it. It's just that if you have euphoria, you definitely have dysphoria of some sort that you didn't recognize as dysphoria before.

I encourage y'all, look up the DSM V criteria and just see if you relate to the things it pinpoints as symptoms. You only need 2/6 to be considered gender dysphoric (I'm not triggerhappy about self-dxing but it's just a stepping stone, the way I see it). Dysphoria isn't hating your body and if y'all just looked at the symptoms I think that'd be abundantly clear. Actually, here. Here are the symptoms in adolescents and adults provided by the DSM V.

1. A marked incongruence between one's experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or anticipated secondary sex characteristics).

2. A strong desire to be rid of one's primary and/or secondary sex characteristics because of a marked incongruence with one's experienced/expressed gender (or the desire to prevent the development of the anticipated secondary sex characteristics).

3. A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender. [A/N:Or in the case of nonbinary trans people, you may want both or neither primary/secondary sex characteristics.]

4. A strong desire to be of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from ones assigned gender).

5. A strong desire to be treated as the other gender (or some alternative gender different from ones assigned gender).

6. A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from ones assigned gender).

Having 2/6 of these really isn't that demanding. It's the bare minimum to be considered dysphoric and therefore trans. Most "nondysphorics" probably DO have 2 or more of these symptoms. For crying out loud, I have 5/6 and I thought I was just "mildly dysphoric" for such a long time.

You need dysphoria to be trans. Nothing more, nothing less. You literally just need 2 of the things on this list

#rambling #lgbt discourse #trans discourse #transmedicalism #transmed #transmeds #truscum

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incorrect-hs-quotes · 4 years

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why unfollow if youre a truscum? i personally support enby people and get thats a problem to other truscum but dont you need gender dysphoria to be trans, even as an enby?

ok youre nice and i respect your ask so ill answer legitimately.

if youre a transmed solely based on the dysphoria mindset, but youre openminded, pro-nonbinary, and civil in talking about this kinda stuff like anon is, instead of immediately going to shit on people you dont like? then you can stay ig. but youre gonna need to know and accept that all the mods and a BIG amount of the followers are tucutes or whatever tf were calling ourselves. can we come up with a different word “tucute” is kinda infantilizing

theres more than one reason why we dont want most truscum interacting with us though and its more than just the base belief itself. this kinda gets long so.. keep reading

-mod dave

i personally dont give a shit if youre dysphoric or not, ive seen official sources across the internet (ie webMD, the APA website, the DSM-5) say you dont need it, and ive essentially just adopted a “mind your own business unless theyre a real danger / harm to someone” mindset. i just dont see how being nondysphoric is a real danger. and actually im essentially nondysphoric myself now cause i did figure out how to beat dysphoria down with a stick despite being pre-everything so,. yknow

plus two of our other mods have identities that could easily be targeted by shittier transmeds (one is bigender and one is an nb lesbian). ive seen shit like “bigender is scientifically fake” and “thats just mogai bullshit”, and “nb lesbians arent real lesbians” and that theyre “invading the lesbian community”.

and people have come up to me and used the trender argument, and i wont deny that there are people out there who have admitted to pretending to be trans, but theres a huge difference between people who legitimately want to use the label who are just figuring themselves out and people who are just fucking around, and.. from what ive seen the vast vast majority of people in the truscum / transmed community dont seem to see that difference

ik there are transmeds who are good people and thats really cool of you guys but unfortunately the whole,, community just has this. absolutely tarnished name to it cause of how many people are so rude. like ive blocked every single discourse account ive come across both on tumblr and instagram (oh my god instagram is fucking terrible) and it just. sucks. to see that so many people are so willing to belittle people who are usually minors for not fitting into a mold they set out. its gotten to a point where if a trans dude looks feminine, despite whether or not its said if theyre dysphoric, theyll still get mocked for it because its assumed theyre not. and even if theyre not.. nobody deserves to be mocked like that

and then you have the anti-nbs who i wont even fucking get into but. you get it

im just. tired. im so tired of constant discourse. were ripping our own community apart and i dont want to watch it anymore

#it makes me sad honestly #cause i know some of yall are legitimately good people #and it just sucks to watch the trans community rip itself apart like this #over whether or not individual people get dysphoric #people assume so much shit #and they start tearing each other apart #both tucutes and transmeds #i think we all just need to shut tf up and mind our own business #thatd be really sexy to see happen sometime #not a quote #mod dave #long #im just so fucking tired

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wreckitremy · 4 years

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Bigot: "Ace/pan/poly/nonbinary people dont belong because they could be bigoted to LGBT people"

Oh you mean how exclusionist binary trans people/transmeds can be bigoted towards nonbinary people, because our society genders everything so thoroughly, that nonbinary people cannot pass or have their pronouns already be a regular part of everyone's vocabulary, and that nonbinary people are told they are asking for too much of our society, by not just asking for one of the 2 acceptable kinds of pronouns?

You mean how exclusionist bi people can be bigoted towards pan people because they have such internalized biphobia, they automatically assume all pan people have internalized biphobia too, because they are so focused on putting bi into a little box, they exclude bi people who are only attracted to some genders?

You mean how exclusionist lesbians can be bigoted towards trans women by refusing to see them as women, and therefore refusing to accept that some of them are lesbians?

You mean how exclusionist LGs can be bigoted to bi people, because they think its bi people's fault that society views the community as promiscuous?

Or how shifting that blame to poly people is so widely accepted, even people who aren't exclusionists usually still exclude poly people?

Or how it's suddenly so important to the community to be all about sex when ace people want to be included?

Do you mean how exclusionist LGBs claim the community is for same gender attraction only, which is not only aphobic, but also transphobic and is a conversion therapy term?

You mean how this community was started by trans women, but is seen as "for the gays"?

You mean how very few perisex LGBT+ people actually listen to intersex people, and feel comfortable excluding them because they saw ONE intersex person said they don't want to be in the community?

You mean how the majority of pride is focused on gay men, so even a lot of lesbians don't feel like pride is for them?

You mean how there are white LGBT+ people who push for cops at pride, despite how dangerous that is for black LGBT people?

You mean how pride is not accessible to a wide variety of disabled people, and how attempts to fix that, is met with complaints about it being too difficult to accommodate?

You mean how signaling has become unattainable by anyone who is not wealthy enough to afford the fancy clothes that rich LGBT+ people have decided is the new signaling trend?

You mean how not, listening to hozier/liking musicals/cuffing your pants/liking certain movies, is used to invalidate various people in the community as being "not really LGBT+", because somebody decided this arbitrary thing is part of our culture now?

You mean how exclustionists don't want people to call themselves queer, but also don't want people calling themselves gay if they aren't literally gay, so they refuse to allow people with lesser known identities to have an easy umbrella term for the community?

People want to be a part of the LGBT+ community because the historical struggle and the inclusive values this community represents, resonates with them in a way that speaks to them like nothing else does.

You should be more worried about people who don't want to be a part of the community. Those people, for whatever reason, do not relate to anything the community stands for, so they are less likely to fight for the community.

Throwing people under the bus for the sake of appealing to the oppressors has never worked. It just hurts the people who need support.

If you keep throwing people under the bus, we have every right to not want you on our bus anymore.

#aphobia #lesphobia #biphobia #transphobia #panphobia #enbyphobia #terf mention #exclusionist mention #queerphobia #lgbt discourse #ableism #racism #no cops at pride #polyphobia #rant #long post #transmedicalism tw #intersexism #july 2020

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arovaricious · 4 years

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[ID: The vincian/achillean flag is pictured with a zepeto figure on the left, looking at the viewer and dressed in black and white. There is text on the top and bottom stripes of the flag that read "nonbinary mlm exist" and "respect nonbinary mlm" To the right and on the middle stripe, the nonbinary and male symbols are interlocked. End ID]

In some ways, it's been easier to accept my attraction to men. In other ways, it hasn't. Being nonbinary and not having an alignment to manhood or womanhood has made navigating how I label my attraction difficult to say the least.

Seeing how nonbinary mlm have been treated by gatekeepers certainly added to my uncertainty, not to mention the erasure and denial of nonbinary people like myself who fall under multiple attraction labels. Sapphic and nonbinary mlm? Couldn't possibly be me /s.

It's funny to me now that someone would be upset about a complete stranger being a part of many communities; is it really so scandalous for an individual to have a number of ways to describe themself? If it is, I think the world could use some more shocking discoveries.

Anyways, I'm making this post because I want to be proud and accept myself a little more, and to be very clear in my support to all the nonbinary people out there who are unsure or hesitant in where they're allowed to be when it comes to attraction. Only you can decide where you feel you belong, whether it's in one place, many places, or off on your own.

💙 trumeds/transmeds/truscum and all other gatekeepers are not welcome to interact 💙

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lonelyshrimp · 4 years

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How you call Blaire (a trans woman) transfobic as a cis male lol

1) I’m trans. Like. Bro read my trans stuff tag, what??

2) transmedicalism is transphobic. It’s gatekeeping the trans community by reducing our transness to suffering, and claiming that being trans is a medical condition (it’s not). Transmeds also have a track record of blatantly ignoring/denying the existence of nonbinary people. Blaire herself has a particular habit of targeting other trans women who don’t pass as well as her or just. Aren’t trans how she wants them to be (howdy, trans ppl can be gender nonconforming, just like cis folk. Hi). Transmedicalism is all about making trans people more palatable to cis ppl who aren’t going to accept us anyways (transphobes, not allies) and throwing other trans folk under the bus in hopes of getting another taste of that cis transphobe boot she seems to love so so much.

#shrimp answers #trans stuff #blaire white #cis male??? cis male??????#how many posts do i have talking about my transness wHAT???#😂😂#like. bro one of my top posts is literally a pic of me. me- a feminine as hell lookin dude WHAT #LITERALLY TALK ALL THE TIME ABOUT BEIN TRANS BRO CHSNBSAKBSKWBWKW #CIS MALE 😂#dude sorry for raggin on u callin me cis but. bro thats funny as fuck

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catbreon-draws · 4 years

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I absolutely love you, thank you for helping us stick up against t*rfs and gendercr*tical people 💙💙💙

Thank you, I love you too! ^-^

—

I’m going to put my responses to other messages in here so I don’t clog up my mouse blog with this stuff and also because they didn’t censor certain words that I do not want to end up in certain tags on here so I am pasting and manually censoring them

—

transm*ds/t*rfs really be like “my belief is that trans people aren’t real and/or deserve to be subject to violence until they’re ‘normal’ Like Us.” and then turn around and call you a dick for not wanting them to interact with you. the headassery is mindblowing.

I know, right? God forbid I want my own blog to be a safe place for myself, a trans person.

—

I have a kinda off topic question, if you know the answer what does someone being 'transm*d’ mean? Google gives a basic answer like “the belief that trans people should be allowed to get surgery” but in digging deeper all answers are different? Is it really like “trans people aren’t trans until they get surgery” or something?

Transm*dicalism is a bit different depending on the person you ask but these are generally things that many transm*ds believe

- Transgenderism is a mental illness (gender identity disorder) and you have to have major dysphoria to be trans. Otherwise you’re faking it or it’s just a phase.

- You are not Actually trans unless you have had, or are planning to have some kind of gender confirmation surgery. If you can’t afford to have surgery, you have to still Desperately Want Surgery And To Be “Normal” or it doesn’t count.

- For some transm*ds you aren’t Actually A Male/Female until you have had the surgeries, which ties into “secret men in the women’s room pissing on YOUR DAUGHTERS HEAD with a PENIS!!!!!” t*rf rhetoric and is very harmful for the community.

- There are only two genders, and most/all of the people that identify as nonbinary are just making it up to be Cool, because being trans is the In Thing right now I guess, according to them. For example if you’re an afab nonbinary person but still accept she pronouns or don’t burst into tears when you’re called a woman then you’re Not Valid and you’re just a Special Snowflake for calling yourself nb/trans. This can also tie into t*rf rhetoric- a trans man or transmasc nb person that doesn’t care much if they get misgendered are Actually Women and are just Ashamed of openly calling themselves a woman because of our male dominated society or whatever the fuck,.. idfk

- People who are Not Actually Trans are “stealing resources” from Actual Trans People. For example a nonbinary person taking up limited space in a homeless shelter for LGBT people. Or a trans woman who could, in theory, live without breasts without killing herself, taking estrogen away from those poor Real Trans People who will now have to go without, because that’s how it works I guess.

There’s more but those are the big points and it’s pretty self explanatory why they are yucky

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Trenders 100% exist. If they didn’t, detransitioners wouldn’t be a thing. You insult me. I’m an actual trans man who has to deal with the consequences of just trying to be my genuine self while 14 year old GIRLS cut their hair short and dye it pink and say “I’m a trans boy I use he/him” only to completely change their mind in a few months. That is TRANSPHOBIC. You are clearly a moron to think that the spike in trans population isn’t people misconstruing an actual mental illness.

Well, Actual Trans Man, how is a 14 year old girl questioning her gender and then deciding she isn’t trans after all transphobic, and how does that harm you in ANY way??? (rhetorical question) The only “consequences” we as trans people have to deal with are from cis people who were never going to be our allies. As well as, unfortunately, other trans people such as yourself with your hurtful mindset. Also, detransitioning is largely due to surgeries and “having to pass” being pushed down the throats of trans people who didn’t want them in the first place, but were forced to believe that they had to have them to be legitimate, by people like you!

Kisses says fuck you and learn to accept yourself without worrying about what other people are doing

#emmett says stuff #Anonymous #suicide mention

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the-luckiest-guy-thanks-to-you · 3 years

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I'm doing the shady thing of screenshot bc they don't feel like engaging with anything but their own thought, and honestly I totally get where they're coming from but while in a way it makes a lot of sense, a lot of non-binary people aren't comfortable considering themselves trans even though they are thoroughly aware that the white line in the trans flag is for non-binary identities.

I also want to say that this isn't posted on a personal hang up of mine like the note says, but I literally live in a theme house that only has one or two cis people any given year, I have multiple years running a college GSA, done coming out day events, co-sponsored drag events, etc. I also more recently have been leaving more towards considering myself non-binary and trans than I have in the last year. I can name people by the dozens who are nonbinary but not comfortable with being called trans.

I also want to explain a bit about this now that that's out of the way. I'm not gonna go over their semi-ignorance of others experiences, but I want to bring up a better way of getting ideas like this across.

1) people can identify however they want to, you cannot assert an identity on them (including "if it's an adjective" if they don't like it)

2) instead of looking at it like "X people are trans" instead "trans people can be X" can be much better. Instead of being pedantic rather than listen to how people actually feel, it shows acceptance should they want to identify that way without putting them in a box

3) "but technically they do fit in the box!" I hear the ghost of someone in the comments shouting. And yeah, they might, but also there's agender people who don't feel like they "cross a gender boundary" and aren't comfortable, there's demi-gender people who don't fully relate to their gender but still identify as nonbinary, and other cases where sure, they could consider themselves trans, but that is up to them.

4) there's also hairy discussions of what gender is in a given context and how it changes and it's cultural and how masculinity and what it means to be a man or femininity and womanhood can be related to in totally different ways and how someone identifies may change with their culture and stuff. Gender is fake in the first place, so defining it as "not cis", while it in many ways makes a lot of sense, isn't actually a great definition in a practical real-life-and-interacting-with-people sense as much as a basic oh-this-is-a-basic-principle/rule-of-thumb-for-understanding sense.

Also like the way we talk about it will change over time(remember how we used to use the word transexual and now it's borderline a slur? Language isn't the same for everyone and it changes, there's countries that proudly use a rough translation of transvestite which is a big no no here in the states), the way different people define the word trans will change with who you ask, so locking it down like this is really limiting too

This is unnecessarily long but I just want to throw this out there in hopes for more critical engagement, and hopefully if someone disagrees, they'll do it in an actual conversational way

Also, I will say, in agreement with lobster's post: transmeds do not interact, we don't need bigotry and stuff here or elitism or any of that and those are terrible arguments and v bad

Also to the one person who called me out for using "nb" for non-binary despite it's other use as "non-black", I will try to be clearer in the future, but also I'm just guessing that that's what you're referring to because you didn't actually provide information to help so I just had to try to figure it out on my own and turns out, you really gotta dig for it. Nb means non-binary, nota bene, noodle boy, no bother, and "niu bi" which is Chinese, all more popularly than that it seems, and you really gotta purposely try to misread the post specially since it's meant non-binary since the 2000s but if I see a good alternative, I'll try to use it or be more clear in the future

Edit: for the linguistic side of things and changing of meaning I want to add another example that may get my point across better. Think of what it means to be trans 80 or so years ago, if you were trans, it mostly means you were in the binary, just on the opposite side than your sex. It didn't really include non-binary genders like it does today so the meaning has changed. My point is you can't stick to a hard and fast definition for the sake of "I am right and gender is organized by technicalities" because there's so much more to that and it limits how we talk about these things

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