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shuubah · 1 year

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Koisenu Futari Review by a Fellow AroAce

Disclaimer: anybody commenting to tell aros and aces how to feel or their two cents on what’s wrong with us will be blocked right away. 🖤

2023 has just begun, and the calendar has already changed to the later part of February. It’s that time of the year again. I bet you’re thinking I’m talking about the infamous Valentine’s Day that has already passed 10 days ago. But no, I’m talking about Aromantic Awareness Week that spans from this 19th to 25th February, today. I’m mad amused that it falls in this so-called ‘month of love’. I’ve been awaiting it since last year to finally write a review for the J-drama Koisenu Futari, and I couldn’t ask for a better timing! Oh, love is in the air? I’ve arrived to spray anti-love aerosol! Right about when the others were busy posting in celebration of 14th February, I started writing this in order to make the existences of aros and aces known to more people. Beware of little spoilers here and there in the review. It’s no big deal though, watching the happenings firsthand is more important than the end results for this story.

Koisenu Futari begins with the fateful encounter of two people who feel neither romantic nor sexual attraction. Kodama Sakuko always feels out of place whenever the topic of romance comes up. It doesn’t help that she’s a grown up woman with a younger sister who’s already married and has a child. Her mother’s continual insistence for her to follow the same path soon makes even the time with her dear family feel oppressive. To make the matters worse, her coworkers harbor the same mindset, with seemingly no place for platonic mingling. Thanks to her job though, she crosses paths with the retail employee Takahashi Satoru, who happens to make an off-handed remark that there’re people in this world who don’t fall in love. It leaves an impression on Sakuko.

Meanwhile, she plans to share an apartment with her friend and move out of home to escape her mom’s nagging, only to be ditched by the said friend later because apparently she got back with her ex-boyfriend. Frustrated by her inability to fathom people’s fascination with romance, Sakuko searches on the internet about it in the hopes of finding something for better understanding. There, she discovers about aromantic and asexual people for the first time in her life, and feels a connection with the terms. She puts two and two together, speculating that the employee she met in the supermarket just the other day may very well be the one behind the blog post. Filled with excitement to finally stumble upon someone like-minded, she once again appears before Satoru to affirm her conjecture. As they get to discussing about their identities after the confirmation, Sakuko makes a bizarre proposition for the two of them to try living together and see if they can become a family without any romantic feelings involved, much to Satoru’s dismay. He reluctantly agrees when Sakuko manages to persuade him with the problems of both of their current living conditions along with the benefits they both get if she comes to live in his house. And so, the trial for two aroaces to become a family begins.

As someone who loves hanging around in the online aro and ace communities, and occasionally watches J-dramas, you’d probably expect me to have jumped onto Koisenu Futari as soon as it became available for the international audience. The truth is, I went back and forth for several months before finally sitting down to watch it. Because it revolves around a subject matter that’s very close to my heart and precious to me, I had all the more apprehensions that it might misrepresent us, dance around the concept of being aromantic and asexual without using the specific terms given it’s a Japanese production, and most importantly – an ending that wouldn’t be satisfying for the actual aros and aces. Let’s be honest, it’s difficult to imagine adult aroaces leading happy lives to their likings amidst the busybody culture. I’m usually all for pragmatic conclusions, but it was that one exception when I didn’t want a reality check.

Now that I’ve finished the full series, did my misgivings hold true? I’m not gonna dillydally and straight-out say it: absolutely… not! However, don’t take this to mean that it’s gonna be a smooth ride. Because from time to time, the turn of events will make you step back and think to yourself, ‘I don’t like this if it’s really going where I think it’s going’ or simply have qualms about how they’re gonna handle a certain predicament. That was the reason why I couldn’t pass a judgment on the show until nearing the end. Several incidents arise in such a short drama, and thankfully every single one of them got an agreeable closure in the end. With the last dilemma of Satoru following his dream versus Sakuko keeping their family together resolved, I must say that I couldn’t ask for a better finale. It’s hands down one of my favorites, the most fulfilling and gratifying ending in a piece of media.

Speaking of Sakuko and Satoru’s ‘family without romantic feelings involved’, which they like to refer to as “family (subject to change)” for the lack of better words, it can essentially be described as a queerplatonic relationship. I’m not gonna explain what that is for those who got a question mark over their head right now. You can check out this TikTok video that clarifies it better than I ever could in a few sentences (that one time TikTok became accurate and helpful). One thing though, take what I said as more of a headcanon than an absolute truth. Because it took me a while to take a step back and remind myself that a relationship is queerplatonic only when the people involved in it decide to define it as one. Otherwise, it’d be no different than alloromantic people forcibly claiming a non-romantic relationship is “romantic” regardless of the said pair’s negation just to suit their own fancy. But I’m pretty sure the real reason in the case of Koisenu Futari is because the term “queerplatonic” just doesn’t exist in Japanese, and they’re not familiar with this English word either. Yep, that’s one of my initial doubts right there.

It’s fine though, because the two fundamental and crucial terms are there at least. That’s right, the words “aromantic” and “asexual” have made their way into the Japanese vocabulary! Albeit, they’re said in the Japanesque style. Given how the Japanese people speak English words, I thought the abbreviations – “aro” and “ace” – would be pronounced as “âro” (アロ) and “ēsu” (エース). But they turned out to be “âroma” (アロマ) and “âseku” (アセク) instead, short for “âromanchikku” (アロマンチック) and “âsekusharu” (アセクシャル). Though, â might be the wrong phonetic in these cases. I guess I should’ve known, since Japanese people have this habit of taking English words and shortening them to their liking for convenience. Though, I’ve found that there is one actual Japanese word for asexual, musei (無性). But of course, it pertains to reproduction. And it’s no surprise either that there doesn’t seem to be any word for aromantic. Ah, the temptation I feel to crack the notorious ‘asexuals are plants’ joke right now…

Ahem! Forget that for now, because I’m about to impart an illuminating piece of information that I picked out thanks to Koisenu Futari. It’s revealed in one episode that in Japan, the very word for “romance” was conceived in the Meiji era (1868-1912), and the values associated with it were nonexistent prior to that. Doesn’t it almost sound like romantic attraction is a concoction of the modern period, similar to how queerphobics complain that aromanticism, asexuality and other queer identities are newfangled fads? When you put it that way without further context, it probably does. To fully understand what this fact actually entails, we need to elaborate on the said Japanese word, “ren’ai” (恋愛). Take this with a grain of salt as I’m not an expert, but from what I’ve gathered so far with my limited knowledge of the Japanese language as well as the culture, renai is more about the whole affair of finding a love interest, getting into a romantic relationship, and engaging in sexual activities than it is about the matter of attraction itself. So, in essence, it’s not opening up a debate as to since when the Japanese people have started feeling romantic attraction, but rather when the idea of pursuing romance came into being in the land. Having played otome games set in the Meiji and the consequent Taishou era (1912-1926), I can tell that taking a lover wasn’t a common practice back then. Sure, those aren’t the most accurate and reliable depiction of history, but when even dating sims can’t play it up, that speaks for itself.

Looking at Japan isn’t even necessary to recognize the veracity of the bottom line of this. Coming from an Asian country myself, once upon a time, romantic relationships were frowned upon like it was one of the biggest disgraces to ever happen to a family here, if not the biggest one. Nowadays, most families have grown to become more accepting of young adults getting into romantic relationships and marrying a partner of their choice, what with dating becoming more and more of a commonplace. It’d be fine if that was all there was though, but it has reached the point where I went to listen to a popular native podcast of ours around the time of Valentine’s Day, and it started with the anecdote of a high school guy asking around on social media if it was abnormal for him to not have a girlfriend yet, and if he should do something to find someone. The face I was making then was probably a sight to behold, since I instantly turned into a fine real life specimen of the “IGHT IMMA HEAD OUT” meme of Spongebob. That, my reader, is what we call amatonormativity.

All this fuss about being single isn’t so much about attraction as it’s about compulsively following specific customs just to fit in with everyone else (not saying everyone who desires a romantic relationship is like this), as if we’re all dolls with the same features, manufactured together in a set. If we’re really going with the excuse of loneliness, wouldn’t it mean the humans, living in the olden days when romantic partners weren’t prevalent and corporations didn’t promote Valentine’s Day for the sake of profit, were the loneliest of all? And if it’s because it’s in our nature to want to be loved and cared for, how come many of the present-day surveys and statistics tell us that humans are suffering from loneliness more than ever before as the time goes on, when everyone’s getting into romantic relationships left and right? Doesn’t it seem to say something about today’s attachments and connections that are so sought-after? You’ve probably heard of the saying, “gender is a social construction.” Now if I may, hoping I won’t be skewered and grilled for this, “romance” is a social construction. Emphasis goes to the quotation marks. It makes sense when you learn about all the different kinds of attractions that exist, and how they can be mutually inclusive when it comes to certain actions, varying from person to person.

I may have gotten somewhat derailed from the review, but it matters not. The focus of it isn’t just on Koisenu Futari being a J-drama, but spreading awareness about aromanticism and asexuality. Besides, I can imagine Satoru nodding in agreement with me and saying the same. Throughout the series, he often talks about amatonormativity with Sakuko and sometimes the others. That was a characteristic absolutely indispensable for him as well as the drama to be so relatable to the aros and aces. Screwing with rubbish societal norms isn’t enough, the need to rant about the dozens of distresses that suck the life outta us day in and day out is at the center of this ordeal. He’s an excellent embodiment of our thoughts and feelings. On the other side, Sakuko finds herself in messes that are the pictures of of our day-to-day troubles.

The pair’s contrasting personalities also create a great juxtaposition for two aroaces. From my observation, for Sakuko, her aromantic aspect is prevailing to her identity; while for Satoru, it’s his asexuality. Sakuko is amicable, social and cherishes those dear to her. Romantic interests of the others towards her, however, puts her at a loss. Her encounter and conversations with Satoru – who’s the only aroace she personally knows – helps her to gather her thoughts regarding her orientation and get better at dealing with those situations little by little. In turn, living with Sakuko and spending time with those around her gradually alleviates the emptiness in Satoru’s life left by the death of his dearest grandmother. He has always carried around regret in his heart for being unable to confide in the only person close to him about his identity, as well as his incapability to grant her a grandkid when he was her only family. After all, not only is he a sex-repulsed ace, but touch-repulsed altogether. To top it all off, the meddlesome attitudes and comments from his surroundings have him jaded, so much so that he doesn’t even want the understanding of others. When communication fails again and again because people refuse to see things from someone else’s perspective or just accept them as they’re due to their fundamental differences from each other, shutting them off may be the only option left. His no-nonsense, solitary disposition very much resonates with me, although personality-wise, I may or may not appear closer to Sakuko on the outside.

Setting aside the protagonists, I must bestow the titles of honorable mention and best side character to Matsuoka Kazu. Don’t get your hopes up right away though, because he’s gonna get on your nerves as soon as he gets involved with the plot. He’s the personification of the traits that make aros and aces roll their eyes, being insufferable at times. You’re probably gonna hate him, which you’re supposed to, until you start appreciating his character development. He goes from the greatest menace to the greatest supporter of Sakuko. Not to mention, I couldn’t have discovered the above-mentioned history of “renai” without him, since he’s the reason why Satoru goes off lecturing about it! Honestly, our lives would be much gentler if more of the aphobics could grow to be thoughtful of us like he does. Even Sakuko’s family members come around to a considerable extent. I was touched by her parents’ acceptance of her, albeit one outright and one reluctant. Meanwhile, her sister’s story is a good example of how life’s rhythm can be easily thrown off when it’s mainly build around just a romantic partner.

Keep in my mind though, this is a Japanese show, so it goes without saying that the narrative is going to follow the style of their dramas. The biggest complaint I hear in regard to J-dramas is that they contain too much of overacting, and I can totally see where it’s coming from. Koisenu Futari though, in my opinion, is the opposite of that. Subtlety is an integral quality of it, not that there is no exaggerated reactions whatsoever. Sakuko and Satoru in particular make these faint yet distinct facial expressions that seem to say more than their words. Their respective stars, Kishii Yukino and Takahashi Issei, were the perfect choices for the roles. Takahashi Issei’s acting especially feels like Satoru’s character was made to be portrayed by him. They even share the same surname and all! I was surprised and delighted to find out he’s the one who voiced Amasawa Seiji, the deuteragonist of Studio Ghibli film Whisper of the Heart. Acting is acting, I guess. As for the supporting cast of Koisenu Futari, the performances that stood out in my eyes were Sakuko’s longtime friend Kadowaki Chizuru, played by Kojima Fujiko, and Sakuko’s father Kodama Hiromi, played by Koichi Mantaro. They left an impression on me.

In spite of all the praises I’m singing about Koisenu Futari, I still can’t say that I’d absolutely recommend any and every aromantic and asexual person to watch it. This might sound like it came from the left field, but it’s actually for their sake. Because this isn’t as simple as a fantasy show or something where two characters are specified to be aroaces since they couldn’t care less about romance and sex. Rather, it’s a true-to-life depiction of the issues that come with identifying with these labels. The alienation and loneliness resulting from being “different”, falling apart of friendships due to romantic interest of the other party, vexation stemming from the inability to relate and thus empathize with those going through heartbreaks, aphobic belief that aros have it easy just because they don’t have romantic entanglements to worry about, family and societal pressure to get married and have kids, apprehension regarding the future that’ll likely be lonesome otherwise — all these difficulties experienced by aros and/or aces are remarkably brought out. In short, the plot is all about trying to navigate this world full of amatonormativity, heteronormativity and allonormativity. And as much as it feels great to see our representation, such a high level of relatability also means it can be triggering to see the exact same things that distress us in our everyday lives.

I, for one, was left overwhelmed by the very first episode. Sakuko’s excitement over the initial living arrangement with her friend reflects the deepest desire of my heart that has been there since forever. I’m definitely not the only one; for many aros and/or aces, it’s a situation that’s considered a dream come true. Except the ingrained relationship hierarchy, where romantic partners are put above everyone else, pretty much always turns it into a pipe dream. After finishing that episode, I had to sit in silence for a while, trying hard to contain my emotions. On top of it, what occurs between the two of them later hit too close to home, again. Watching it unfold almost felt like a personal attack, the thought ‘I’m in this drama, and I don’t like it!’ running through my mind all the while. However, I have to admit that the last scene of the drama makes it worth it. The image of Sakuko happily cycling down the road with the most heartfelt, carefree smile on her face screamed freedom to me. Then revisiting the drama in order to write this review aroused the displeasure in me along with the appreciation all over again. It’s really up to how much an individual viewer can take depending on their mental state.

For alloromantic and allosexual people though, I’d definitely recommend them to complete Koisenu Futari. Not merely because otherwise they’d be missing out on a wonderful show, but mostly because it’s important that they come to see things from aromantic and asexual people’s viewpoint. Of course, for one thing, you can avoid upsetting them and treat them right when you know better. Now, you may ask, what’s the odd of you running into an aro and/or ace when those’re such rare orientations? The thing is, many of us go through an identity crisis at the beginning because we’re never taught about the very existences of aromanticism and asexuality in the first place. It needs to become a common knowledge like homosexuality, bisexuality etc. Even when we do get to know who we are, we still feel the need to keep this intrinsic part of our personality to ourselves because of ignorant people’s hurtful attitude. So, if you’ve already proved yourself to be uncomfortable for the topic, the possibility of you being privy to the fact of someone you know being an aro and/or ace is very low in the first place.

This obliviousness isn’t harming only aros and aces though, it concerns you, and your near and dear ones, too. Why do I say that? Well, once you step into the world of aromanticism and asexuality, your eyes will open to a whole bunch of problems around us, as well as a whole lot of ways of life. Namely, the clutch that amatonormativity, heteronormativity and allonormativity have on us, and how liberating living can be if you get to defy them. I can’t go into the details of what they mean in this review. You can always search on Google and Tumblr to learn their definitions, etymologies and implications. All I’ll say is that the Four Horsemen (including platonormativity) of the ‘love and sex are what make you human’ bullshit go hand in hand with misogyny, sexism, toxic gender stereotypes, toxic masculinity, domestic violence, colorism, body shaming, ableism and many, many more severe social issues. It’s impossible to escape them so long as you live in the society. So when you really think about it, being aphobic is basically advocating for your own victimization and/or decadence. Although, I suppose something as ridiculous as aphobia prevails at all is because the mere existences of aros and aces challenge the beliefs and learning that alloallo people have nurtured throughout their lifetime. It’s human nature to feel threatened by something they don’t understand. But on the other hand, broadening your worldview with the aromantic and asexual perspectives serves to benefit you regardless of your orientation. Personally speaking, even if I don’t identify as an aroace someday, I’d still be grateful for everything I’ve been taught thanks to it. I wouldn’t exchange this experience and thought process for anything.

If there’s one flaw of Koisenu Futari though, it has to be its approach of aromanticism and asexuality being largely inadequate. The matters are explored through the two protagonists only, resulting in a limitation as to which facets of the orientations can be introduced to the viewers. There is this one time when Sakuko attends a gathering of aros and aces, but it’s way too short to put enough emphasis on the briefly discussed topics: the spectrums’ independence from each other, and the variation in individual preferences. That’s right, aromantic and asexual are the umbrella terms for two separate spectrums. You must’ve already noticed my continual usage of “and/or” until now, that’s because being a part of one spectrum doesn’t necessarily connote being a part of the other. Both of them also consist of a wide range of microlabels, and those’re contradistinctive at times. I daresay, compared to the entire populace of the rest of the world, I’ve witnessed way more diversity in these tiny communities that’re more or less close to the population of Denmark. A series could cast a dozen of aro and ace characters, but many of the particularities would still end up left out. Given the acute lack of our representation in the media, a complete drama dedicated to us is already an absolute blessing. Even just two characters, who’re gateway to the plain basics, are a great starting point. That’s all well and good, but the problem is that those who aren’t well-informed with the comprehensive nitty-gritties might develop a rigid concept of the identities, and thus question the validity of those of us who don’t fit the mold.

I’d suggest alloromantic, allosexual and questioning folks to take Koisenu Futari as a stepping-stone to learn about aromanticism and asexuality. Thanks to Kaizen Subs, it’s accessible for the international audience. They did such a fantastic job with the subtitling. I don’t wish to depreciate any fansubbers who pour so much hard work into voluntarily providing English subtitles, but I also can’t deny that I often come across translations that’re far cry from the actual speeches. I was afraid the same might happen to Koisenu Futari, especially due to the lingos in the aro and ace communities that’re foreign to the outsiders. It was an utter relief to discover that it wasn’t the case. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised to find somebody else’s style of translating similar to mine for the first time as a translator. Personal reflection aside, this is your cue to watch the drama. Visit this link to download the subtitles. Just rename the files corresponding to the episode file names on your device, and it’ll make the subtitles automatically show up on the videos when you open them, whether it’s on computer or phone. Oh, and where to find the raw episodes? That question’s a no-no in public, but here goes: Đ Ɽ ₳ ₥ ₳ ₵ Ø Ø Ⱡ

My only sincere request is for people to keep an open mind, about us and about the world. Koisenu Futari’s MyDramaList entry used to have the “naïve female lead” tag before, and that was more than enough infantilization of aroaces. Look at it this way, romantic and/or sexual attractions can be considered ghosts to us. Almost everybody around us claim to be able to see them, those who’re chasing after them. They ask us why we can’t perceive them. It’s because they only ever exist in the tales of others, not in our own realm, at least not without the exact same power. Maybe some of us have barely happened to encounter them at some point, but unsure of whether those’re actual ghosts or some other apparitions. Some can only see them once in a blue moon, under specific conditions. Some adore the idea of ghosts and their stories, regardless of their ability to sense them or the wish to interact with them in person. At any rate, we all belong under the hefty green or purple umbrella, or where they both blend in to take on blue, orange and yellow colors; our very own spaces beneath the rainbow.

It’s okay if you can’t grasp our hues right away. You can take your time. If it still doesn’t help, that’s okay, too. What’s not okay is dehumanizing or demonizing us. Don’t forget that humans are abusing and destroying each other in the name of love all the time. If you believe it’s a lie or an exaggeration, then open your eyes, strain your ears and take in what’s happening throughout the world. There’re more important things than love, attraction or even comprehension. Remember that consideration, compassion, communication and consent can go a long way to bring about happiness and peace in life. Also, please refrain from shoving “B-but aromantic/asexual people can feel romantic/sexual attraction and/or engage in such activities!” and other bigot commentaries down our throat. That’ll be all from me.

Happy aromantic awareness week! It’s coming to an end soon, but may the awareness stick around.

Headers' credit: theprideful

“amatanormativity will not save you" flag credit: rjalker

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estoesdivertido · 2 years

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Hoy vengo EXTASIADA porque encontré una serie japonesa con la mejor representación AROACE (arromantico y asexual) que he visto hasta el momento. La comunidad angloparlante andaba hablando de ella y yo quise verla tambien aunque no sepa inglés pero si buscar en internet. La serie es de este año y se llama Koisenu Futari (en español seria: Dos que no pueden enamorarse) y se trata de una chica, Sakiko, y un chico, Takahashi, y sus vidas y luchas como Asexuales Arromantico/as.

La sinopsis: Sakiko vive todos los días sin involucrarse en el romance y no le gusta que su madre siempre la apresure a casarse. Un día, Sakiko visitó un supermercado para ver el proyecto de su junior. Se encontró con un empleado del supermercado que le dijo que “hay gente que no se enamora” lo que la hizo sentir aliviada. Sakiko más tarde se encuentra con palabras como Aromantica y Asexual.

La cuestión es que me dieron una PROTAGONISTA Y COPROTAGONISTA AROACE, no son personajes secundarios que aparecen dos segundos son PERSONAJES PRINCIPALES AAAAAH ¿Vos me entendes que es algo muy dificil de encontrar? además trata no solo de la asexualidad sino del ARROMANTICISMO las dos super invisibilizadas socialmente. Y me encanta porque en todo momento lo remarcan, lo que es muy importante porque muchas veces uno supone o desea que tal o cual personaje sea Aro o Ace pero se queda en solo eso, un deseo. Acá SON, LO DICEN Y LO DESARROLLAN. Y esta tan bien representado todo, se nota que investigaron, cada cosa que pasaba yo estaba como: "SI SOY" obvio no en todo pero muchas de las cuestiones que suceden en la serie o me han pasado o se las he escuchado a otros AroAce.

A veces me daba la sensación de que abrieron el Foro Aven y copiaron y pegaron cosas porque la verdad muy explicativo, una cosa que no me gusta mucho que hagan en las series pero siento que acá era necesario porque yo que soy AroAce entiendo todo pero una persona que no lo es y que nunca en su vida ha escuchado el término o lo que significa les sirve. IGUAL YO LE PERDONO TODO PORQUE ES TAN BONITO SENTIRSE COMPRENDIDO Y VERSE REFLEJADO EN ALGÚN PERSONAJE DE FICCIÓN.

La verdad es una serie para preguntarse que es el romance, como es una pareja, que es el amor, la familia QUE ES LO NORMAL?? De los personajes me vi más reflejada con Takahashi porque soy una persona tranquila que le gusta andar explicando cosas, no me gusta mucho el contacto y siempre ando en la mia. Al contrario, la protagonista Sakiko que es como un sol, alegre y brillante lo que es genial porque la gente cuando escucha Asexual y arromantico piensa en piedras sin sentimientos o corazón que odian el amor, el sexo y que viven tristes y solos. Nada mas alejado de la realidad.

Y nada, AGRADECIDA 🙏 🙏🙏 CON LAS PERSONAS JAPONESAS QUE LA ESCRIBIERON Y PRODUJERON , ME HICIERON EXTREMADAMENTE FELIZ AL CREAR UNA SERIE SOBRE DESCUBRIRSE ASEXUAL Y ARROMANTICA

#series #koisenu futari #恋せぬふたり #arromanticismo #arromantico #asexual #espectro asexual #asexualidad #no saber ingles no me va a detener #representación asexual #lgbtqiia+#Erika Yoshida #LGBT #aro #Ace #aroace

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carpew-diems · 2 years

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Takahashi Satoru: I say whatever, don't care that I've never. No, never been in love.

🥬🦀

Still brainrotting over this drama so I made clips edit. Cabbage-man, he's such a mood, haha! Also posted this video on Twitter!

#恋せぬふたり #Koisenu Futari #Takahashi Satoru #aromantic #aroace #asexuality #two people who can't fall in love #i love this man

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moonlightfilly · 1 year

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Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I can't find koisenu futari raw eps anywhere, I wondered if you knew where I can find them?

No worries! Here are a couple options for the raws:

Direct dl

Nyaa tor if you're comfortable with that option

#Koisenu Futari #恋せぬふたり #ask

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hugsandsheep · 2 years

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*slams table* IT IS HERE

#koisenu futari #恋せぬふたり #i haven't read a novel fully in Japanese in a while #but I'll do it for sweet sweet representation

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purrfectlycontent · 2 years

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watching koisenu futari is like a breath of fresh air from all of the romantic media i’ve been consuming. it just amazes me how this drama manages to cover all of the thoughts i’ve had about relationships.

#my ramblings #i relate to takahashi a bit too much LOL #koisenu futari #恋せぬふたり

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intyalote · 2 years

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still only 2 episodes in but 恋せぬふたり is just mwah for the kinds of interpersonal negotiation I feel SO starved of in amatonormative television. this questionnaire takahashi is having them both fill out made me so happy to see, like. yes! explicit setting of boundaries and expectations! and the way they AREN’T exactly the same in their preferences but respect and stick up for each other even when they basically just met? trying to build a non-normative but happy life together without any template of how it should go? incredible. give me more.

#also the whole 家族 vs 味方 discussion #and how takahashi points out the unnecessary weight given to the 'family' as a concept #and how he chooses to approach the whole thing in such a practical manner #in the sense of not worrying about whether this is 'real' family or not but now i have someone to eat udon with in the morning #i relate to him a lot #恋せぬふたり

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hrshlandfunkypics · 11 months

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Thinking about how Chizuru says stuff like "I couldn't stop myself because I love him" and like,,,, she's lying, because she did not go back to her ex, and she's lesbian so she won't be with a man.

And with the way she said this line and the intensity of it, I feel like she's talking about Sakuko and not the imaginary boyfriend.

Chizuru loves Sakuko to the point that when she noticed that Sakuko would most likely never love anyone, or at least was absolutely not interested in love and was looking to live with her for the main purpose of getting away from all this romance nonsense, it hit Chizuru real hard. I mean, we've seen that in a later episode, but like...

Chizuru leaves in order to get away from Sakuko and the intense love she feels for her, so the line "I couldn't stop myself because I love him", in my opinion/understanding, refers to the fact that she loves Sakuko so much that she couldn't help herself to seek out that love and propose to live together, and then (when she noticed that it most likely would go nowhere) it refers to the fact that she had to get away from her because of that love.

And the pain she feels because of unreciprocated love shows even more with the next sentence being "There are these uncontrollable things that come out of nowhere!". And once more, it is directly related to the love she feels for Sakuko.

She cannot control who she loves (like everyone btw) and she got hit in the face with her love for someone who doesn't, cannot, love in that way. And we (through Sakuko) see her deal with that; with her feelings and with the unavoidable rejection.

And that is why Koisenu Futari is not a sapphic/lesbian show. Despite showing different types of love, this is solely a series about aromanticism and asexuality.

This is also part of why it's so good. The writer could've gone for some stuff like "QPR but from the vision of one of them, if it could be a romantic relationship it would be" and that would've suck big time. And yet, despite having two occasions to do that, it did not happen, and I am very grateful.

#Koisenu Futari #恋せぬふたり

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green-enby · 9 months

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Heyo! Have you watched Koisenu Futari (恋せぬふたり, Two people who can't fall in love) yet? It's a great series, just 8 episodes long! I binged it in one day :) [smiley]

It focuses on two aromantic asexual people living together. This is a little appreciation post, containing some thoughts that it evoked in me as an aroace.

If you don't want spoilers, please don't read!

It's so relatable how Sakuko keeps blaming herself all throughout the show… Insecurity stemming from societal expectations that dictate romance is for everyone, and that people who don't date are somehow "failing" in life; I think this affects allos as well.

When I broke off my romantic relationship, I too felt like it had been my fault, for not having been a good enough partner, for not being able to love them in the same way they loved me.

To finally learn that you are not "defective", that there's other people like you…! I love how the two MCs don't grieve their lack of attraction; Sakuko is perfectly happy discovering she's aroace. She and Takahashi are living their "best life" together.

Sure, many aroaces do wish they were allo, and that needs to be represented too, but this series to me really shined a light over why they want that: it's because amatonormativity is rampant in the world, not because lacking attraction is inherently sad. The main conflicts in the series stem from the clash between allo society and the aroace experience, after all. I think that's neat! It gave me a good dose of aroace joy—while still showing the hurts that come with it, realistically—and I really needed it.

I didn't expect her to come out to her family so soon, but whoa, that was intense. Her mother's negative reaction is what all people who exclude a-spec people from the LGBTQIA+ community should see, to understand that we face the same issues they do.

I haven't come out to my parents as aroace yet, and watching this made me realize how awful it actually feels to be in the closet. I somehow hadn't realized I am. I've always felt safe coming out to them as other things, as bisexual back in the day, and as trans non-binary.

It might be because my confidence disappeared when they reacted badly both times, but this coming out feels almost impossible.

Comparing it to coming out as bi, it's really not that different: if you're bi, you're promiscuous and date too many people; if you're aroace, you're a prude and cold-hearted. If you break away from the status quo, you're wrong either way.

But at least, most people do eventually understand the bi experience, if they understand same-gender attraction, and fuse it with straightness, even though it's a flawed method.

With aros and aces, instead, it's such an alien concept for an allo, which makes it way harder to come out and have to explain to them how to deconstruct allo-amatonormativity. It's exhausting. Thankfully, there's people like Kazu who are actually willing to learn about us. That gives me hope.

I feel like it's super eye-opening to find out the concept of romance didn't even exist in the past. Pretty sure that in Europe, it originated during the Middle Ages from the ideal of chivalry. So it's really just a social construct, and opting out of it shouldn't be so controversial!

It's just a set of pointless, annoying rules like having to kiss eachother, having to say "I love you", and doing it all a set amount of times, otherwise it's not good enough. What if we don't want to? What if it doesn't come natural to us? If it's just a social construct, fuck it, I'm not adhering to that! We do whatever makes us happy!

Even in the series itself, Sakuko too goes through a heartbreak, even if it's not the romantic kind: she valued her friendship and future cohabitation with Chizuru above all else, but Chizuru abandoned her, because of romantic love. It's not true that aroaces have it easy.

Like our MC, we have to deal with fear that we'll come off flirty when we're just being friendly, confusion over concepts that we feel we should understand, shame over the fact that we're different, fear of loneliness, frustration and pain that we'll always come second to our friends' romantic partners, or even trauma from a relationship or sexual encounter that we didn't really want. I could go on and on.

These last scenes really got to me. Especially the second one… I admit that I cried, when she had to turn her down, and it seemed like her aromanticism had ruined their relationship. It hurts that the way I am could seriously harm someone I care about. It hurts that most people work differently and that they can't help it, and that we can't help it either. I don't like being put in that position, to cause someone a heartbreak. I have with my ex, and had to watch them spiral down… It was horrible.

Still, I wouldn't change my orientation for the world. I'm confident in my identity, I love being aroace.

In the end, we can all reach our full potential, reach a point where we feel fulfilled and that we're living our best life, find ourselves a family if it's what we want, have our dream job and house. Being aroace doesn't condemn us to a life of unhappiness. That's what this series left me with by the end; it gave me so much hope for my future.

(I'm aware I'm coming off as a bit toxically positive here haha, sorry if I'm striking a bad chord; I'm just in a really good period right now, and riding this wave for as long as I can! Hopefully I can rub it off someone else as well.)

That said, I really loved this j-drama, it was funny and relatable and emotional, I wished it had lasted longer! It seems like the author isn't even aroace herself, so I'm amazed at how good the representation was! So much thought and research has gone into it, and it shows; the result is amazing.

Thanks for reading my scattered thoughts about this! 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

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krdc · 1 month

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マジカルラブ - 黒沢心の声だだ漏れVer. (magical love - kurosawa's overflowing thoughts ver.) — full version

spotify

(lyrics & unofficial translation below, kurosawa's thoughts in pink)

magical love　be with you

すげー可愛い　すげー好き

suge kawaii suge suki

you're so cute, i like you so much

やばい　めっちゃドキドキする

yabai meccha dokidokisuru

crap, my heart is beating so fast

指の隙間でチラ見 (最初はただ)

yubi no sukima de chira mi (saisho wa tada)

glancing through the cracks of my fingers (at first...)

僕にはもったいないって？ (そばにいられたらって)

boku ni wa mottainai tte (soba ni iraretara tte)

aren't you wasting it on me? (being by your side...)

今までだったらそれで終わり (思ってただけなのに)

ima made dattara sore de owari (omotteta dake na noni)

if it had been before, this would've been the end (was enough for me)

一味違うthis love　wow

hitoaji chigau this love wow

this love is different, wow

まさかこの年になってこんな

masaka kono toshi ni natte konna

i never thought i'd experience it at my age

初恋みたいな気持ちになるなんて

hatsukoi mitaina kimochi ni naru nante

this feeling that feels like a first love

ああ　もうずるい

aa mou zurui

ah, it's just not fair

これ以上どうしろっていうんだよ

kore ijou dou shirotteiun da yo

if this keeps up, what am i supposed to do?

瞬間　近づく鼓動

shunkan chikazuku kodou

the moment i got near your heartbeat

聴こえた　マジかよ　マジカル！？

kikoeta maji ka yo majikaru

i heard them, it's for real, it's magical?!

ヤバイ　近いっ　可愛いーっ！

yabai chikai kawaii

crap, you're so close, you're so cute!

もう　ムリ無理　見て見ぬフリ

mou muri muri mite minu furi

i can't keep pretending i don't see it

夢でも　胸高鳴り

yume demo munadaka nari

even in my dreams, it makes my heart race

運命変えちゃう love

unmei kaechau love

a love that changes destiny

君と　僕が？　あわわっ

kimi to boku ga awawa

between you and me? i can't deal!

ハッピーエンドの途中

happi endo no tochu

on the way to our happy ending

焦る i want you (yeah)

aseru i want you (yeah)

i want you right now (yeah)

一緒なら越えてゆける

issho nara koete yukeru

as long as we're together, we can overcome it all

明日は七色　君と甘色　wow yes

asu wa nanairo kimi to amairo wow yes

tomorrow will have a rainbow, with you and the sweet colors, wow, yes

安達...

adachi...

四六時中　夢心地 (こんなに可愛くて)

shirokujichu yumegokochi (konnani kawaikute)

day and night, i keep dreaming (is your being this cute...)

そんなの聞いてないって (大丈夫なのか！？)

sonna no kiitenai tte (daijoubuna no ka)

saying things i've never heard you say (really okay?!)

想定外　好きが渋滞 chu (俺だけのものにしたい)

souteigai suki ga jutai chu (ore dake no mono ni shitai)

unexpected feelings stuck in a traffic jam (i want you to be only mine)

大胆不敵 this love　wow

daitan futeki this love wow

this love is fearless, wow

これ以上好きにさせて

kore ijou suki ni sasete

why do you have to...

どうしようっていうんだよ

dou shiyoutteiun da yo

make me fall for you even more?

ああ　このまま時が止まれば良いのに

aa kono mama toki ga tomareba ii noni

ah, i wish time would just stop right here

敏感　本音と嘘

binkan honne to uso

my sensitive true feelings and my lies

気づいた　マジかよ　マジカル！？

kizuita maji ka yo majikaru

you noticed them, it's for real, it's magical?!

ヤバイ　近いっ　可愛いーっ！

yabai chikai kawaii

crap, you're so close, you're so cute!

もう　ムリ無理　見て見ぬフリ

mou muri muri mite minu furi

i can't keep pretending i don't see it

夢でも　胸高鳴り

yume demo munadaka nari

even in my dreams, it makes my heart race

運命変えちゃう love

unmei kaechau love

a love that changes destiny

君と　僕が？　あわわっ

kimi to boku ga awawa

between you and me? i can't deal!

ハッピーエンドの途中

happi endo no tochu

on the way to our happy ending

焦る i want you (yeah)

aseru i want you (yeah)

i want you right now (yeah)

一緒なら越えてゆける

issho nara koete yukeru

as long as we're together, we can overcome it all

明日は七色　君と甘色　wow yes

asu wa nanairo kimi to amairo wow yes

tomorrow will have a rainbow, with you and the sweet colors, wow, yes

隣にキミの笑顔 (love is the magic)

tonari ni kimi no egao (love is the magic)

with your smile next to me (love is the magic)

yeah (love is the magic) oh

魔法が解けたって　大丈夫さ　ふたりなら

mahou ga toketa tte daijoubusa futari nara

even if the magic is undone, we'll be okay as long as we're together

安達！

adachi!

幸せすぎてもムリ

shiawasesugite mo muri

i'm too happy, i can't handle it

未体験の胸騒ぎ

mi taiken no munasawagi

the apprehension of something unfamiliar

世界の数だけ love (あーっ) love (まって) love (もうっ) wow

sekai no kazu dake love (aa) love (matte) love (mou) wow

for every world out there, there's just as much of our love (ah...) love (wait...) love (jeez...) wow

大好きだ！

daisuki da

i love you!

初めてだらけのストーリー

hajimetedarake no sutori

in this story filled with our firsts

誰にも邪魔させない

dare ni mo jamasasenai

we won't let anyone interfere

特別以上の love

tokubetsu ijou no love

a love that's beyond special

愛しい　嬉しい　気持ち

itoshii ureshii kimochi

and the precious, happy feelings

ハッピーエンドの途中

happi endo no tochu

on the way to our happy ending

もう全部 i want you

mou zenbu i want you

i want you, all of you

一緒なら越えてゆける

issho nara koete yukeru

as long as we're together, we can overcome it all

明日は七色　君と甘色　wow yes

asu wa nanairo kimi to amairo wow yes

tomorrow will have a rainbow, with you and the sweet colors, wow, yes

magical love　be with you

もう　幸せすぎる

mou shiawase sugiru

jeez, i'm too happy...

#cherry magic #ending #music #translated

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