#“…..Is that a threat Mr Beagle-?”

[clownsuu]

Are they friends? Frenemies? Oh, who knows!

LMAOOO c l a s s i c Mob!Barnaby behavior

#Big bad boi dog who can chomp your head off ruthlessly and without mercy? #W r o n g #Anime school girl tsundere #LmAOOOOO #JUMPSCARED AGAIN BY HONORABLE ART AAAAAAUGGGHHHH #W o r m p h y s i c s n e c k #Funfact barnaby is almost as strong as Howdy #And Howdy is commanded to never harm ANYONE unless told otherwise by Wally or is a immediate threat (everyone else can do whatever) #So technically barnaby can throw him through a window and get away with it #T e c h n i c a l l y #“I’m going to throw you through that window” #“…..Is that a threat Mr Beagle-?” #“No that’s a P R O M I S E-“ #[c r a s h i n g n o i s e]

[prismatic-bell]

So I was listening to Christmas music at work today, because I do that sometimes. I grew up a gentile and still have fond memories of Christmas as a kid, even though I don’t celebrate it anymore. Anyway I thought this would be fun:

A FORMER GENTILE RANKS CHRISTMAS SONGS:

1. All I Want For Christmas Is You: I have no idea why people hate this song so much. Joyful, bouncy, fun to dance to. 6/10.

2. Mr. Heat Miser: this song is so stupid and that’s why I love it. The Christmas special it comes from is even stupider and I love it for that, too. Best versions of this song are the ones where the singers realize just how campy it is with no effort at all, and don’t try to “help” it (thus way, way overdoing it). 8/10.

3. The Little Drummer Boy: my mom loved this one, but all I can think is “ah yes, let’s play a loud instrument for a sleeping newborn, great idea.” Also at the end when they’re all “theeeen he smiiiiiled at me” like it’s all mystical and shit? Do you know why newborns smile? Because they have gas. They don’t actually know what a smile is yet. You woke up Jesus and he farted at you, little drummer boy. 4/10 because it makes me giggle inappropriately.

4. Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24: LISTEN. This song already slaps because it’s a takeoff on Carol of the Bells. It slaps even more because it’s got electric guitar. But the reason I’m about to rank it so high is the story behind it, which is that it’s honoring a man named Vedran Smailović, “the cellist of Sarajevo,” who spent 22 days during the Siege of Sarajevo playing Albinoni’s Adagio in D Minor in bombed-out buildings and the town square knowing he was under threat from both bombs and snipers. A man standing up in the face of death and saying with his actions “there will be death, but let there be music, or there’s no life, and I will die for a chance to live”? He’s not Jewish, but that’s still the most Jewish fucking thing I’ve ever heard. 1000000000/10.

5. O Holy Night: this song is actively triggering to me for not-fun reasons. Negative infinity/10.

6. The Holly And The Ivy: I’m 34 and still don’t understand the narrative structure of this song but it brings with it heavy memories of wrapping (and unwrapping) presents in the early 90s, so I kinda dig it. 7/10.

7. Snoopy’s Christmas: nothing says “Christmas” quite like Snoopy the beagle trying to shoot down a WWI sniper plane. This song is absolutely baffling but I give it credit for trying. Also my mom liked it so I have to give it a +1 for that. 5/10.

8. Last Christmas: GET OUT OF HERE YOU FUCKING FUCK why are there 4048263958327 versions of this godawful song who LIKES this song it’s so stupid and doesn’t even have a good melody to make up for inane lyrics, what the fuck. 1/10.

9. Christmas Shoes: the only reason Last Christmas is #2 on my list of terrible Christmas songs. A perfect demonstration of self-righteous slacktivism Christianity in the form of consumerism. @sailorzeo reminded me a couple days ago this song exists and I don’t know that I’ll be able to forgive her. 0/10.

10. Silent Night: it’s not a bad song per se, but I’m so tired of every year seeing a fluff piece about “the humble origins of Silent Night.” We all know, WE ALL KNOW. If we don’t know it’s because we don’t care. I want to hear about the humble origins of Please Don’t Shoot Me Santa. Now that’s probably a story. 3/10.

11. Santa Claus is Coming to Town: Ah, the song that’s made generations of poor kids and kids who aren’t part of the culturally-Christian hegemony cry and feel terrible about themselves. I’d give it 1/10 for that, but here’s the truth, the Christmas special that goes with this song is SO FUCKING UNHINGED I have to take it into consideration because they somehow made Santa into a communist, anarchist, and capitalist all at once. Also this special was made during the Cold War and you can literally see the moment they went “oh shit, we made Santa a commie, uh uh uh AND THEN HE GOT MARRIED ON 25 DECEMBER TO CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF OUR LORD. BECAUSE HE BELIEVES IN THAT. UNLIKE THOSE DIRTY REDS.” Amazing. 3/10.

12. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: the song reminding us that if you’re unusual, you’re worthless unless you can be exploited by the masses. I’d give it 1/10 but Christmas Shoes has, by force, put this scale on a MASSIVE curve, so I will grudgingly provide a 2/10.

13. Fairytale Of New York: this is a complicated one. The original version includes a queer slur. In the last few years, new recordings have rewritten the lyrics to fix it, but a lot of the fixes are…bad. In a couple of new recordings the artists literally just leave this very obvious pause where the word should be, like they think they’re being cheeky. At the same time, it’s a fascinating song because it’s about lives that aren’t your typical Christmas story, and the melody is great. 6/10 for the Pogues and a later cover by Mostly Autumn (if you happen to have that cover PLEASE TELL ME), 4/10 everyone else.

14. Joy to the World: if this wasn’t a Christian song I’d be tempted to make it my alarm clock. I don’t agree with the thrust of its message, but I enjoy the enthusiasm. 8/10.

15. Baby, It’s Cold Outside: the most beautiful example of “what was once progressive is now wildly outdated,” the OG version by Dean Martin is literally a chick who’s looking forward to getting railed but has to put up a front first for her reputation (hence “say, what’s in this drink?”—when the song was written this was a coy way to say “is this alcohol? Gee, if this is alcohol I can’t be responsible for my actions”), and the narrative doesn’t shame her for this. I personally think the Idina Menzel version actually does a really great job at rescuing the storyline, and I’m also fond of the Glee version. With the original intent of the song taken in mind, I’ll give it a 6/10.

16. Walking In The Air: this is not actually part of my christmassy childhood. I first encountered it in college, via Pandora back when Pandora was actually good. Apparently it comes from a British Christmas special. There’s a version by Nightwish, and Nightwish automatically makes everything better, but the lyrics are so haunting and adventurous, it’s great. Solid 9/10.

17. It’s A Marshmallow World: the bane of my childhood holiday concert existence. This one and Walking In A Winter Wonderland. We did both every single year. I’m sure they’re very nice songs for people who haven’t had them done to death. 4/10.

18. Thank G-d It’s Christmas: my introduction to non-1960s Christmas music. It’s not quite as standout to me these days, but it’s by Queen, which means there is only one possible rating, and that’s 10/10.

19. White Christmas: most people don’t realize this song took off like a rocket because it was released only days after the US entered WWII. While it wasn’t specifically about being a soldier, Bing Crosby once said the most difficult thing he ever did in his life was singing this at a USO concert in front of a hundred thousand crying GIs, without crying himself. I give the Bing Crosby version 10/10 for actually having some heart and meaning behind it. Most other versions just kinda ring hollow.

20. Santa Baby 2: betcha didn’t know there’s a sequel to the original by Eartha Kitt. It’s just as hilarious, perhaps even moreso. Technically it was also released under the name “Santa Baby,” but that’s not very helpful in this conversation. 8/10.

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. A correct and accurate ranking.

[theoddcatlady]

Mr. Ferguson

I think the whole street breathed a sigh of relief when we saw the EMTs take a body bag out of the Ferguson house. I was only about ten or eleven at the time and it’s been a while so some details of my childhood are lost to time, but I can’t forget Mr. Ferguson.

There was never a Mrs. Ferguson in the picture, as far as I know. He lived in the house on the corner, the one with the bright yellow shutters and the gorgeous garden out back. The garden didn’t make up for the rotten old bastard he was. I wondered once if he was nicer when he was younger, when he didn’t have to walk with a cane and could actually get around without help, but my dad set me straight on that one. Mr. Ferguson had always been a terrible person and the neighbor from hell.

All day long, Mr. Ferguson would sit on his front porch in his rocking hair, grasping onto his black cane as he stared out on the street. If someone walking their dog even got close to his yard, he’d start spewing threats about what he’d do if the dog took a shit on his lawn. If a kid put even a toe on his property, he’d get up from that chair and start shouting more terrible things. I learned my first cuss words from Mr. Ferguson, he didn’t censor his language even among the smallest of ears. And he wasn’t all talk. One of my friend’s dogs wandered into the Ferguson yard, just sniffing around as beagles do, and Mr. Ferguson beat that dog bloody. The poor thing had anxiety for the rest of its life and if you so much as passed the Ferguson house with it the dog would lose its mind.

Other than him, our neighborhood was a friendly place. Summers were full of cook outs and pool parties, winters had Secret Santa gift exchanges and someone was always willing to help shovel out your driveway. You’d never be hard pressed to find a babysitter on short notice, odds are your friend had a teenage daughter willing to make a few bucks to make sure the kids were on bed in time.

But not Mr. Ferguson. People did try to bring him in on the fun sometimes. He’d scoff and tell them to leave him alone in no uncertain terms. Mom said he just wanted to be miserable. I didn’t understand how someone could want that and well, I still don’t.

One hot summer morning though, his caretaker came in to do a check and found him in his garden, dead as a door nail. Probably a stroke or a heart attack.

My mom made us go to the funeral. I don’t know why, she probably hated Mr. Ferguson the most and we were like one of five people that went. One of those people was the priest. At least it was short, the priest just said a few words about how we should treasure our lives and be good to others and then Mr. Ferguson was chucked into the ground.

That was that… or so I thought.

The accidents started happening just a week later.

I was at my friend Michael’s house, we were playing board games when we heard the crash. It was so loud it shook the house and Michael dropped his soda. Root beer spilled onto the carpet as we tried to figure out what that sound was for a second.

Then we heard his dad screaming bloody murder.

Forgetting completely about the spilled soda, we ran out to the garage where he’d been working on changing the oil in the car.

Michael’s dad was pinned by the car against the garage door, face white as a sheet as his head lolled to the side. I saw blood splattered against the off gray color of the metal and I puked while Michael ran inside to call 911.

It was luck that he survived. He never walked again and health issues plagued him for the rest of his life, but for a guy crushed by a car that’s probably best case scenario.

It was an accident, sure, but a weird one. The car just suddenly launched forward as Michael’s dad stood in front of it. But there was no one in the garage with him. So yeah. It was just an accident.

But accidents started happening more and more often.

The next one was at the final pool party of the season. We were all at the Benson house because they’d just gotten a brand new hot tub. There was probably like twelve kids running around, the sun was shining, the barbecue was sizzling. I had just gotten out of the pool to grab a lemonade and was chatting with Annie when I heard the pop.

Mrs. Benson and her friends had been relaxing in the hot tub, making jokes and laughing until the pop. Their bodies suddenly went rigid before they began rapidly jerking about and twitching. Mr. Benson shouted if she was all right and I heard this gurgled yell before Mrs. Benson went under.

The kids stampeded out of the pool and I smelled something burning before I realized that the hot tub was on fire.

Mrs. Benson and her sister ended up dying on the way to the hospital. The other woman ended up surviving but not without some serious electrical burns. Electrocution via hot tub. Just an accident. But there was one more accident we all missed until we returned to the pool to see a little body floating at the top. Three year old Maggie had fallen in during the chaos and drowned.

Mr. Benson moved away after that. Losing both his wife and youngest child in that house just killed something inside of him. But after he moved away, we all saw it happen.

His backyard became overgrown by plants. Not over a few weeks, like what happens when a house is uninhabited and there’s no one to mow the lawn. The very day after they’d left that house the backyard was now filled with dandelions, daffodils, lilies. and all sorts of flowers that shouldn’t naturally appear in the late summer.

It was like a garden.

Accidents happen, sure. But not like this. Not when a guy who’s been working home improvement his entire life ends up toppling from a ladder and breaking his spine. Not when a mom trips and falls face first into the open dishwasher and ends up getting impaled on a knife. Not when a toddler was left alone for just a few seconds and ends up nearly drowning in the bathtub.

Dogs ran into the road and ended up getting hit by cars. Kids fell from their bunk beds and cracked their heads like eggshells on their dressers. Teenagers got into fatal car wrecks. It was a mess.

Two other families ended up leaving our neighborhood and their yards had the same fate as the Benson’s- completely grown over. A morbid beauty.

Fall came and the yards grew brown but the gardens seemed to be even greener. The whispers started about a ghost. A ghost that was such a miserable old bastard in life and was now a nasty poltergeist in death.

Mr. Ferguson had never left our neighborhood.

It all came to a head when a tree was struck by lightning and a large tree limb crashed into our living room. I’d just tripped while picking up my things and suddenly the roof caved in above me. I was lucky I was on the ground. If I’d been standing, well, I’d probably not be telling you this story.

Two nights later my mom woke me up. She looked grim.

“Come on. We’re going to see Mr. Ferguson.”

When we walked out of the house, I saw everyone on our street was out. Everyone had this same grim look on their face. The deaths, the mutilation, it’d forever tarnished our street and we’d all had enough. We walked down the street, I saw several guys walk into Mr. Ferguson’s house with mallets and chainsaws, but we kept going with a few of the others. I saw that several of the adults were carrying shovels and containers of lighter fluid.

We walked into the graveyard and my mom led them right to Mr. Ferguson’s grave. She took a deep breath.

“… Start digging.”

It was the frantic endeavors of people who believed they were cursed. Dirt flew in the air and nearly pelted me in the head a few times. I hid behind my mom, who just stood there stone faced.

Even now the accidents weren’t over. A man tripped in the hole and his leg snapped like a twig. He wailed as he was dragged away by a few others before they got right back to digging. Someone else got smacked the face with a shovel and blood coursed down his face from his nose as he just kept on digging.

Finally the coffin was reached, the lid cracked open. Mr. Ferguson’s body laid inside. He didn’t even look dead, it was like he was just taking a nap.

Then they started pouring the lighter fluid in. It covered the corpse’s skin, his clothes. They probably added more than necessary. My mom struck the match and threw it in, shielding me from the sudden burst of flames.

I didn’t get to see the body, but I swore I heard that old man’s yelling as his body burned.

It was over after all that. The gardens were all dead by morning. The accidents stopped. And although we’d lost so many of our friends over the past year, we recovered. New neighbors moved in. We welcomed them into our fold. One or two asked about the property on the corner, the one that looked like a tornado hit it, and we’d just say it was vandals. They stopped asking. We never talked about what we did to Mr. Ferguson’s body. And soon we just stopped thinking about it.

I grew up on that street. Even now I only live a few blocks away. And for so long I wondered why our family was practically the only one untouched by the tragedy. We never got hurt, even when the tree branch came crashing into our living room.

I think I found out the answer. See, my mom passed away a few months ago from breast cancer and I’ve been going through her things. She’s always been such a good, kind woman and it was great seeing pictures of her helping plant the garden behind the church and teaching at the local school.

But in the bottom of the box, hidden under dozens of other albums, was a picture from when she married my dad. Unlike the family picture with the groom, all it was was my mom and an older man. I didn’t recognize him until I flipped the picture over.

On the back was written ‘Pauline Walters (P. Ferguson) and The Father of the Bride.’

#my stories

[crossedsabers10s]

Politics and Dog Sitting

bit of a scene set in Strikes Thrice

Of course, he’s not expecting the dog.

Walking into his house after a long afternoon’s work of relieving the Mystic Grill of their bourbon supply with Alaric’s help, the last thing he expects is to see one of his best friends sitting on his couch with something fuzzy. The fuzzy thing barks at him, just the once, but it’s loud enough and annoyingly pitched enough that Damon decides to hate it on sight.

Dagur makes a soothing noise and pats at its head. The dog reluctantly quiets.

“Why do you have a dog?” It’s less of a question to Dagur and more of a demand for answers from the universe at large. 

The universe doesn’t answer back, but Dagur does say this, “A good question.”

“No,” Damon denies, both the words and the situation. “A good question would be: Why do you have a dog on my couch?”

And it is. The fuzzy, droopy, drooly thing is sitting half on Dagur’s lap, half leaving its coat all over Damon’s upholstery. It looks like a beagle, but the creature would never win best in show. Fat and with an unpleasant scattering of bald patches, the thing looks pathetic, augmented by the hangdog face and big droopy eyes. But that’s no reason to give into it’s doggy whims and let it onto expensive furniture. He can see the white and brown bristles already coating everything, from the floor to Dagur to the couch.

“He looked sad on the floor,” Dagur says, giving the mutt’s head a fond pat. Aw hell, don’t tell him she’s gotten attached. 

“You’re about to look sad.” The idle threat does nothing to get the animal away from Damon’s furniture, but it does make him feel better. Marginally. Not his best work, but he’s busy wondering if he could get away with feeding the dog to Stefan. “And maybe in pain.”

“You can try,” she says, smirking at him. Stupid ancient Vikings. Stupid vampire strength rules. What Damon wouldn’t give to be able to toss the infuriating woman ass over teakettle. And her little dog too. “Anyways, Enzo gave him to me.”

That throws Damon off. “What--Why did Enzo give you a dog? Why did Enzo have a dog to give to you?”

“Something about a pool party?” She shrugs. “Or maybe it was a massacre. Don’t quite remember.”

“I’d say those are two very different things, but I remember the summer of ‘75.” Jaws had just come out. One little hint of blood in the water and the humans started screaming. Good times. 

“Hah! Good times,” Dagur agrees, echoing Damon’s thoughts. He narrows his eyes at her. Usually he wouldn’t mind being on the same page when it comes to mayhem, but right now he’s annoyed about the fur-shedding invader. 

“No, but seriously, why do you have a dog?”

“His name is Porthos.” Not the answer he wanted. But it will be good to have something to inscribe on the gravestone. 

“His name is about to be Road Kill if you don’t get him off my couch.” Okay, so he’s not serious. Damon isn’t Stefan, he doesn't go out of his way to murder defenseless animals. But like fuck he’s letting this go unprotested either. 

“Rude.” Two floppy ears get covered and Dagur gives him an offended look. “He can hear you.”

“He can probably fly with those things too.”

Of course, that’s when Elena and Caroline walk in. 

“Hey, Damon, have you seen Stefan’s--Why do you have a dog?” Thank you, Elena, for asking the important questions. 

“Awwww, is that Mrs Jenkins’ baby? He’s so cute!” Caroline goes over to coo at the thing, getting a slobbery kiss on the hand in return. Ugh, Damon can smell the creature’s breath from here. 

Elena hangs back, warily eying the thing’s bald spots. Oh hell, what if it has mange? “Why do you have Mrs. Jenkin’s dog?”

“That’s what I want to know,” Damon tells her. 

Enter Enzo, messenger bag over one shoulder and suspiciously chipper. There are no obvious blood stains, but that doesn’t mean much. 

“Dagur, where’s—Ah! Hello, Porthos.”

Porthos barks in greeting, tail and hindquarters wagging as Enzo approaches. The thing almost falls off the couch trying to get closer to the vampire. Dagur makes a face as the dog abandons her. 

“‘Zo. Why?” It’s not a whine. It’s a very serious demand for answers. No matter the way Elena and Caroline are hiding giggles. 

“I volunteered to dogsit for the Jenkins while they visited family. Didn’t count on the pool party being scheduled for this weekend, of course. But Carol insisted. So I delegated,” he explains, waving the hand not patting the dog at Dagur. 

“You’re welcome,” Dagur tells him, idly brushing dog hair off her lap and onto the carpet. 

Enzo gives her a smile. “Thank you, peaches.”

Damon clears his throat. “Great, that’s so nice of you--why are you doing any of this?” he demands, gesturing at the little beast. “Dog-sitting for old ladies? Pool parties?”

“And town hall meetings, bake sales, community sports…. I’ve been busy, you see.”

“Uh-huh. And why are you--.... Wait. No. Tell me you’re not--”

“I’m not planning on running for office or anything anytime soon—“

“Anytime soon?”

“—but we are going to be here for the foreseeable future. It’s important to establish a good reputation.” 

Dagur pipes up with, “Like an alibi.”

Elena makes a face. “Dagur, no.”

“Well…. I rather think, that by the time I’m done, I could get away with murder in this town. Easy.”

“You’re evil,” Blondie says, but she’s looking intrigued. Damon would put money on the future Ms Mystic Falls over there having daydreams of political intrigue and tiaras. 

Elena does her best to stop that in its tracks. “Caroline,” she says warningly. 

Enzo shoots Blondie a lopsided smirk. “No need to sound so admiring, love. You know, I could show you a few tricks,” he offers, clearly to spite Damon. And probably also world peace. 

“Yeah, no. You are not getting Blondie into politics. The town would implode.”

“I want one,” Dagur announces, still staring longingly into droopy eyes.

“No,” Damon denies as soon as the words register. 

Dagur looks up. “No?” she repeats. It is not in any way a surrender. 

“No,” Damon says, firmer, staring down both beagle and enabler. He also includes Enzo for good measure, because it was his schmoozing of little old ladies who secretly ran the town that started this whole mess. Emphasis on mess. “No dogs in the house. Stefan would eat them.” 

Elena makes a noise of protest. “He would not!” Except she kind of ruined it by sounding the tiniest bit uncertain. 

Ignoring her, Damon points a finger at the slobber-beast. “No.”

Dagur opens her mouth.

“No,” he repeats slower, just in case she didn’t understand the first time.

Green eyes narrow. Damon’s own narrow right back. They can be equally stubborn, but right now Damon has the high ground. It’s his house, his town, and he—

“A dog would be nice,” Enzo says. 

Damon slowly turns to look at him. The traitor only smiles back, pretending blithe-ignorance to the sheer transgression of his words. Damon glares. 

At the sight, Enzo’s smile goes sincere, one corner curling higher than the other. 

Dagur snickers and Damon’s attention snaps to the too-smug vampire. 

#strikes thrice #fanfic #tvd

[gravityfallsweirdgirl]

Ducktales 17 Darkwing Headcanon idea 4: drake goes super overprotective dad mode

At the mcduck mansion, drake and Scrooge were negotiation each other about Launchpad.

They were in the living room and drake thought about his offer but shook his head.

Drake: nope sorry but I won’t agree

Scrooge: ugh you are a stubborn one

drake

drake: I’m sorry but I won’t hurt Launchpad, unlike someone

Scrooge then remember that he had a daughter.

Scrooge: well then what about gosalyn

drake: huh

Scrooge: she is friends with the kids, and since she’s good friends with webby wouldn’t that mean Launchpad comes back to mcduck mansion so she can play with the others

drake was about to say something but he then thought about gosalyn.

Drake: alright mr. Mcduck, Launchpad her era to cone back to work on one condition

Scrooge: ugh alright what is it

Drake: you treat him better

He gets up and holds his hand out.

Drake: deal

Scrooge looks at him hand, smile mischievously and gets up.

Scrooge: deal

But before they could shake on it, webby, violet, may, June and Lena came in running in a panic, with a terrifying look on their faces but a guilty look on webby’s face.

Scrooge: webby what happened girls

Earlier today Gosalyn was asked to hang out with the girls, drake looked around looking for her only to find me gone.

Drake: where Gosalyn

Lena: well she-eh-um

Webby had a look Louie had on that timephoon incident then she yelled.

Webby: THE BEAGLE BOYS GOT HER

Drake made a furious look as he clutches his fist, ge didn’t look happy:

Drake: WHAT

Webby: we accidentally left her alone at funsos

Ms. Beakley: webby how could you abandon her like that

drake watch the grandmother scold webby then realized he was wasting time, he gad no time to change so ge ran out to get Gosalyn.

Ms. Beakley: webby I’m most disappointed in you

Webby made a sad look.

Scrooge: well I say she’s done a good job

Ms. Beakley: what

Scrooge: excellent job webby

Ms. Beakley realized that Scrooge asked webby to abandon gosalyn purposely and webby knows it was wrong.

Webby: but dad, this is wrong and you know it

Scrooge: bah

Ms. Beakley: you could just let Launchpad be happy would you

Launchpad overheard everything.

Launchpad: what why would you do that Scrooge

Scrooge: it’s what’s best for you Launchpad

Launchpad: best me (he frowns angrily) or best for you

Scrooge: you need to know that how can you be with a man who can’t save his own daughter

Launchpad: you really are a selfish duck

Ms. beakley: you are a cruel duck Scrooge, come on we need to go help him and when I come back, you’re grounded webby

Scrooge, Della, Launchpad, Ms beakley and Scrooge went to help rescue Gosalyn, while webby was feeling guilty and sorry for what she’s done back at Funso's Fun Zone.

Gosalyn was in the hands of the beagle boys.

Gosalyn: ugh (grunts) let me go or my dad is going to make you sorry

Bouncer was holding her upside-down.

Beagle boys: (evil laughing)

Bouncer: aw no is daddy gonna hurt us (laughing)

Gosalyn: ugh

Burger: I think it’s time she swam with the fishes

Bouncer held her above the ocean, she eyes open wide in fear, then bouncer saw how scared she was and decided to torment her.

Bouncer: (chuckles)

Gosalyn: (gasp)

Then he throws in the air and catch before she could fall in the watery grave.

Gosalyn:ah!!

Bouncer: (snickering)

Then he held the back of her hoodie with his thumb and index finger, getting ready to drop her, no joke this time, she grabbed onto his arm.

But before he could drop her, big time beagle made a terrifying look.

Big time beagle: uh guys

Drake: hey let her go!!!!

They turned to see a furious drake.

Gosalyn: (whimpering)

Bouncer turned around and laughed, he didn’t see drake as a threat…yet.

He puts gosalyn high in a tree and walks slowly towards drake and bends down to him.

Bouncer: or what, what are you gonna do daddy, (baby talks) are you gonna hurt me

He press his big fat finger on his chest and when he kept it there, drake snapped, he glared at him and went Donald Duck nuts on bouncer.

He grabbed his finger and twisted it.

(Crack)

Bouncer: ah (wincing)

Then he gets on his back and pulls his arm up, sliding it up and twisting it again.

Bouncer: AH!!!!

Big time and burger were terrified and backed away then drake let’s bouncer go, walks towards the two beagle boys and he cracks his knuckles.

Beagle boys: (gulp)

Back with Ms. beakley and the others.

Scrooge: Ms. beakley honestly I don’t see why this is such a big deal

Ms. Beakley: Scrooge you don’t see how bad this is, you put an innocent young girl in danger

Scrooge: I’m sure she’s fine

Ms. Beakley: I just hope those hooligans haven’t done anything to get or done much pain to mr. Mallard

Della: I don’t think we need to worry about that

Scrooge/beakley: huh

They saw Della hiding behind a bush, got down and were shocked to see drake fighting the beagle boys single-handedly.

Drake: (grunts)

Big time swing his fist at him but drake moved and he grabs him by the shoulders swing him around and threw him into a pile of trash.

Big time: ah-oh

Then he turns to burger and kicks him with his feet.

Burger: ugh

They were all surprised but amazed.

Ms beakley: wow, that was amazing, I wonder if he can reach me that

(Blow punch)

Drake: YA

Della: is there nothing he won’t do for that girl, he’s unstoppable, he’s invincible, he’s-

Launchpad: well yeah he cares about gosalyn, he’d do anything for her, he loves her kinda like

Della: how we love the kids

Launchpad: exactly

he turns to Scrooge as he made a guilty look when Launchpad scolds at him.

Launchpad: you see mr. Mcdee he can take care of himself as much as he can take care of gosalyn

Scrooge: launchpad I-

Launchpad: save it

After drake finishes beating up burger, he was getting an unexpected surprise by ma.

Ma beagle: HEY

He turns around to see her, she walks towards him.

Ma beagle: how dare you hurt my boys

She raises her crane about his hit his head when he forcefully grabs it, takes it away and snaps it in front of her.

(Crack)

She saw the angry look in his eyes and she backed away.

Drake: go

She rubs away, her boys regain consciousness and saw him looking back at them.

Drake: the same goes with the rest of you

Beagle boys: AH!

they all ran away.

Drake: AND IF I EVER SEE YOU HARM MY DAUGHTER AGAIN I’LL MAKE SURE TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A ACCIDENT

After they all ran, Gosalyn fell from dangling From the tree and landed in his arms.

Gosalyn: AH!!!

Gosalyn/drake: whoa

He caught her, she looks up at him, smiling nervously.

Gosalyn: (nervous laughter) hi, I got lost and-

Just then hugs her tight, she was surprised but returns the back.

He nuzzled his beak against her hair.

Drake: are you okay

Gosalyn: I’m good now

Drake: good we’re Leaving

They walked away from the fun zone, he was still carrying her.

Gosalyn: you know I can walk right

drake: I’m not taking any chances

They then got in the car, drake putting her in the backseat.

Then he saw Launchpad standing in between them.

Drake: Launchpad we’re leaving

Launchpad: ok

Della: what?

Scrooge: launchpad wait

drake got in the passenger seat as Launchpad went to the front seat Scrooge stopped him.

Scrooge: launchpad please

Launchpad: I’m leaving mr. Mcduck

Scrooge: can you please listen

But he didn’t listen instead he got in the car.

Launchpad: goodbye mcduck

Then drove off it left everyone feeling down.

#darkwing duck reboot #dt 2017 #ducktales #ducktales reboot #drake mallard #gosalyn mallard #launchpad mcquack

[disneydude94]

Alright, here’s my version of this trailer where I was thinking through my head to imagine what it is. I know it’s not that perfect, but here we go.

Took a leap through a box super weird to a swamp where frogs talk.

Now it’s done got no plans just my luck I’ll do the best that I can.

Making friends and enemies, it’s weird but hey it’s grown on me!

“I will rule not only this world, but all worlds!”

“You’ll never get away with this!”

“I give you this! I gave you everything!”

“We’ll right with you Anne, til the end.”

“Me and Grime will hold him! Just go!”

“I just….. didn’t want to be alone.”

“No, it can’t be?!

“Polly, get the box! Get the box!”

“Give him back. Give. Him. BACK!!!

“I’m sorry……for everything.”

“MARCY!!!”

The box fell when it sends Anne and the Plantars back home, but what they didn’t expect to see some cartoon characters standing in front of them and one of them recognize her face.

“Anne?”

“Mickey?”

Then it shows from the partner statue to riverboat and from train station to a castle. Princesses greeting their fans and Pixar Pals waving their arms.

“Oh my frog!”

“What is this place?”

“Welcome to the Happiest Place On Earth!”

It’s no big deal, yeah no big deal!

It’s no big deal, yeah no big deal!

Later we see Mickey showing Anne and the Plantars to Los Angeles and finally reunite with her parents. Meanwhile in Newtopia castle, robot frogs are guarding and scanning for intruders. King Andrias summoned one frog robot to attack Anne and her family. The next part where we see Sasha tossed out from the window by Grime as they escape from the castle. Then it shows General Yunaan and Lady Olivia are standing in front of the huge door. Next part where it shows group of kids that took a break from filming.

“Who’s that Phineas?”

“Oh, hey there.”

“I know who you guys are.”

“Cool! You must be our fan for the music band.”

It’s no big deal, yeah no big deal!

It’s no big deal, yeah no big deal!

We see Pluto licking at Anne smiling. Polly is with Huey, Dewey, and Louie made a huge prank on Donald. Timon and Pumbaa are offering some grubs to Sprig that he really likes while Anne was uncomfortable. Stitch landed in front of Anne and Sprig as they startled. Tigger pounced on Sprig and landed on top of him. Anne is playing basketball with her team against the Beagle Boys. Later at night, Anne and her family arrived at the House of Mouse.

“Okay, very funny guys. What’s the big deal?”

“SURPRISE!!!!” shouted all the characters when it reveals that it was her belated birthday party. Anne smiled softly with tears.

“Happy Birthday Anne. Ha ha.” said Mickey

Suddenly, the party was interrupted when an evil fairy, Maleficent appeared on stage shocking everyone. She raised her staff with dark magic revealing their future.

“The time has come. The end is near. An evil threat that will invade our world led by an evil king controlling his entire army! And there is a great discovery that was once stolen that holds the key to unlock its power, the Calamity Box!”

“Oh no, I’m freaking out hard.” commented Eeyore.

Maleficent vanished when she laughed. Then it shows Mickey comforting Anne when she’s sad.

“We’ll get your friends back. I promise.”

It’s no big deal, yeah no big deal!

Find a way to start again, brush off the dirt and make some friends!

It’s no big deal, yeah no big deal!

I feel at home in a place that shouldn’t be real.

Crazy strange but it’s no big deal.

Anne is driving a food truck with Sprig. The front door open when it shows Dipper and Mabel with his new journal. Mr. and Mrs. Boonchuy pulled out their tools. Anne was startled by a female paleontologist at the museum. Polly made a video chat with two girls from the workshop. Sasha steps on a journal and looked through it back at Wartwoods. King Andrias had a conversation with Maleficent who stood next to Marcy in a glass tube. Anne unleash her power and made blast when we see the city view. Anne give Sprig, Polly, and Hop Pop a hug. Marcy was having a nightmare when a dragon with yellow eyes rising from the depths behind her.

Killer birds but it’s no big deal.

Riding snails but it’s no big deal.

Eating flies but it’s no big deal.

Finally me and it’s no big deal.

Sprig, Polly, and Hop Pop are exhausted while they were wearing their disguises until they spotted a regular heron. Both Anne and her new friend kick the doors open together and we see government agents and FBI. Hop Pop was driving a golf cart with Perry and Doofenshmirtz when chased by a T. Rex. Sasha raised her sword to defend Wartwoods. Anne was caught by the sea witches tentacles. Sprig set an actual frog down gently. Bessie the snail licked Pumbaa snout while Timon stares at the snail tearfully. Marcy, Olivia, and Yunan are about to be transported. Mickey summons his keyblade for battle. Anne and her family looked at the sky where the frog robot blows up. Anne is sleeping with her mom on their way home.

Disney’s Amphibia: Calamity War

Then it shows a hooded figure with her owl palisman surprising Anne, the Plantars, and her cartoon friends.

“Gwarsh, who are you?”

The hood was removed and it was revealed to be a girl. Anne remembers that she has met the girl from her last encounter.

“My name is Luz Noceda, and I need your help.”

“With whom?”

Then it shows the emperor unlocks the door to another world and put on his golden mask.

“Knock knock, human.”

Coming Soon on October 2nd.

#disneydude94 #disney #disney crossover #amphibia #amphibia au #anne boonchuy #sasha waybright #marcy wu #gravity falls #the owl house #luz noceda #emperor belos #maleficent #mickey mouse #phineas and ferb #mystery twins #sprig plantar #polly plantar #hop pop plantar #mrs. boonchuy #mr. boonchuy #king andrias #lady olivia #general yunan #captain grime #calamity war #amphibia season 3

[alternateafterthought]

Golden Time - Part 10

> Pairing: Hybrid Jeon Jungkook x Reader

> Summary: Y/N has been rescuing and recovering hybrids her entire life. Now she has inherited her grandparents hybrid sanctuary. It was a normal rescue, get the hybrid, recover him and give him a choice, stay on the sanctuary or find a life for himself. Why was this one so different?

> Genre: Hybrid!au, romance, smut, angst, fluff 

> Word Count: 2061

> A/N: Hey guys... here is the next part of my Jungkook hybrid fic!! There are only 4 parts left of this fic after this one!! It’s finally coming to and end but there is still a bit for them to get through!! I really hope you are all enjoying this fic and will be with me until the end of it!! ALSO those who wish to be added to an eventual tag list, please leave a comment or an ask or message me!! Thank you so much for your support!!

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9]

Y/N waited, quietly watching as Lee and his guards pulled away. The smirk he left with stayed on his lips as he drove away into the distance. For a few more moment, purely out of caution, Y/N stayed where she stood before turning around.

Y/N saw Reyna standing next to Jungkook, talking to him softly, so he doesn't panic and run. Namjoon stood in front of Jimin and Taehyung, his eyes on Y/N, asking if everything was good. With a slight nod from Y/N, Namjoon moved to the side, to allow Jungkook to see Y/N himself.

Jungkook was quickly in front of Y/N, looking her over, sniffing around her to make sure she had no injuries. He frantically made sure she was safe. He tried to remain in control as he made sure she wouldn't run away from him. Now she could truly see the useless trouble he would bring her.

What surprised him was how calm Y/N was, how protective she was of him. Her hands stayed on his arms, holding him, keeping him calm. Her peaceful eyes making contact with his own.

"Are you okay, Kook?" Y/N whispered, moving her body closer to his own.

He shook his head, his level of honesty with Y/N being something he would always leave open. His hands moved to rest on her hips, wanting to touch her, wanting her to be close. Y/N let him pull her towards him, his head falling into her neck as he breathed deeply.

"We'll put these away for you." Reyna spoke softly, pointing at their groceries. "You just stay with him."

Before Y/N could protest, Jimin and Taehyung were packing their groceries into the back of her car. Namjoon and Reyna packing their own into their car a few spots down. In that moment, Y/N couldn't have been more thankful for her new found friends.

"Do you want to talk? Or just go home?" Y/N asked, giving him the option to stay in town or go home if he'd had enough.

"Home."

"Okay then. Let's help the boys so we can go home." Y/N gave the option, feeling Jungkook nod before standing to his full height.

"I'll help them." Jungkook rubs his chin on top of Y/N head before moving to Jimin and Taehyung.

Y/N smiled as Jimin and Taehyung immediately included Jungkook in helping. She grabbed her bag, quickly locating her phone and sending a message to everyone at the farm.

'Be on guard. Lockdown to everyone after the sun sets.

Unfortunately, it was something normal for the sanctuary. To lockdown the entire sanctuary because of a threat like this. To many hybrids had come out of bad situations and those humans had come looking for them. Y/N understood the nature of a hybrid, why they did what they did. It was humans who made her truly question the world.

After saying bye to the small family, with the promise of keeping in contact, and Jimin and Taehyung coming out to visit Jungkook, Y/N and Jungkook quickly made their way home. Packing their groceries away together, Y/N kept an easy vibe so not to make Jungkook panic. She watched him secure the house, making sure his territory was protected.

"Hey Kook," Y/N looked at him as they both finished putting the last of the groceries away. "I have to go and check on everyone around the property." Jungkook nodded in understanding. "I want you to stay with the Astor's until I get back." Jungkook was about to protest before she spoke again. "It will only take about an hour and a half, two hours at most to get all around and help everyone stay calm."

When Jungkook finally agreed, Y/N walked Jungkook to the Astor's front door before leaving to circle the sanctuary. Y/N didn't like that everyone was almost used to things like this. Used to the threat of a human who thought they had more rights just because their DNA wasn't part animal.

Y/N started with the inner parts of the houses, where the prey animals lives. Smaller ones like rabbits and mice and meerkats, gazelles, smaller birds, and more prey animals all seemed to be a lot more scared when something like this happens. But they also knew they were protected here on the sanctuary and were happy to see a familiar face like Y/N.

Moving out to the outer houses, and the predator hybrids, they were not as worried. They of course wanted to protect their home, protect the woman who cared enough for them to help them through anything they had been through. Each of them had made sure their own houses were safe, especially those with a family, and then some went out to patrol. Lions, tigers, even a bear hybrid lived on the sanctuary were all willing and ready to patrol.

Y/N got to the last house, the one house she needed to visit. Knocking twice on the door she could hear and excited voice and one trying to calm them down. She was always happy to come out here, she wanted to introduce Jungkook to them. But not until she knew he was happy and settled.

"Y/N!" Jung Hoseok, an excited beagle hybrid opened the door, crashing into Y/N. He hugged Y/N tightly as she peaked over his shoulder to see Yoongi behind him. "It's been so long. How've you been?"

"You stink of someone." Yoongi said from behind Hoseok.

"The new hybrid. The rabbit." Hoseok sniffed before stepping back. "He wants to mate you."

"You can smell all of that?" Y/N asked surprised, eyebrow raised.

"No, but word gets around pretty quick here." Hoseok laughed. "You and Jungkook, that's the name right, have been the talk of the sanctuary for a few weeks now."

"We have?" This was news to Y/N.

"Even I can tell you've fallen for him," Yoongi gestures for Y/N to come in. "Just put the poor guy out of his misery and tell him you love him."

"I don't think I'm in l-"

"Yes you are. I can smell it on you." Yoongi, a black jaguar hybrid, shut the door, cutting off Y/N. "Anyone on this entire property can smell it on you."

"That and everyone is always talking about how he watches over you." Hoseok sat next to Y/N as she sat on the couch. "Apparently his mannerisms are a lot more predator when he's protecting you."

"Is that why your here? To introduce him to us?" Yoongi asked, even though she knew they both knew why she was here.

"I'm here to make sure you all got my message. We're on lockdown until I deal with his previous owners." Y/N shrugged, but both could see the determination in her eyes.

"I already patrolled the land around us." Yoongi was comfortable in his chair. "I've checked and set up the cameras and everything. Hoseok is going to go out after you leave for another once over of the property."

"They won't be getting in or anywhere near you." Hoseok wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Not unless you give the okay that they can be on your property."

"It's your home too." Y/N smiled, bumping her shoulder against him happily.

"And we want our home, and our saviour, protected."

Y/N looked Hoseok and Yoongi. They were her longest friends. They were the first hybrids she, herself, rescued. She had been through so much with them and wanted them as safe as she wanted anyone here. She didn't want any of them to have to go through something like this, and yet, they lived in this type of world.

Y/N soon said her goodbyes, with the promises of bringing them to meet Jungkook. Soon Y/N was walking the well lit path back to her house. As she passed, she would wave to each person watching over her.

The night was peaceful, a soft breeze kept the sticky night heat from being overwhelming. She always loved the open air of the farm she had been raised on and lived. The night sky was always her favourite, a clear sky of the moon and the stars, it always bought her peace of mind. Breaking her out of the quiet walk, her phone started ringing. Thinking it might have been Jungkook or one of the Astor's, Y/N made the mistake of picking it up without checking caller ID.

"Hello?" Y/N answered at ease.

"Hello? I am calling for a Miss Y/N Y/L/N?" An almost too sugary sweet voice spoke through the phone.

"She is speaking." Y/N replied, on guard.

"Oh Miss Y/L/N," the person continued. "My name is Jeon Su-Jin. I was referred to you by a mutual of ours."

"Oh? And if you don't mind my asking, who might that have been?" Y/N asked cautiously.

"A Mrs Bonavich's." The name made Y/N's blood run cold. "She told me I could find a hybrid by the name of Jungkook with you?"

"Yes. I acquire him from her a few months ago."

"Oh perfect."

"May I ask why you called about him, Mrs Jeon?"

"Oh well, you see..." Her little pause seemed to be for some type of sympathetic reasoning, it wasn't going to work with Y/N. "My husband and I, Mr Jeon, have been so very fond of Jungkook for years. The Bonavich's and us have been friends since before I was married. And they got Jungkook and we treated him as if he were our grandson."

Y/N allowed her to pause again, it sounded like she was crying, well... trying to cry. The half choked up she got was picked up easily by Y/N.

"And when they sold him well... we were absolutely besides ourselves. It was like our own grandson had left." The woman sighed deeply. "I... We were wondering if we could maybe, buy him off you?"

Y/N stilled on the top step of her front porch. Y/N would never sell any of her friends she had made on this sanctuary. Much less sell anyone to someone who associated themselves with the Bonavich's.

"Oh, Mrs Jeon I am so sorry." Y/N spoke into the phone. "But I do not sell, nor trade, nor do I just give away any hybrids."

"What?"

The sweet voice of the woman had now gone. It was quickly replaced with the cold, dead voice of a woman who would not take no as an answer. Y/N could imagine she wasn't very happy to hear those words.

"You won't sell him to me?"

"I'm afraid not, Ma'am." Y/N turned on the porch, looking down the driveway to where the front entrance would be. "Once I have acquired a hybrid, I do not let them go back into someone's home they knew. Because the people they come from are not usually the best environment for them."

"Now, you listen to me," Mrs Jeon was angry now, and she wasn't even trying to hide it. "That hybrid is my grandson. My real biological grandson. And if you don't give him back, I will go to the police."

"The law clearly states that once a hybrid is put into the system and adopted, by law and in the eyes of any court, they are the hybrids family." Y/N knew the law, she had watched her grandfather help create those laws, she wasn't about to let anyone take advantage of her.

"He is my hybrid." She all by screeched into the phone.

"I thought he was your grandson?" Y/N raised an eyebrow, asking a question Y/N knew she wouldn't be able to answer. Hearing the silence Y/N continued. "Thank you for your call Mrs Jeon. I am sorry we could not work something out. Goodbye."

Y/N waited a few seconds before hanging up, giving her a few moments to change her mind. She did not. Pocketing her phone Y/N sighed, sad for the life Jungkook seemed to have.

But seeing him now, seeing Jungkook walk the path from the Astor's to her, she was glad he was here. Glad that Jungkook was now happy and healthy and safe.

"What are you smiling so much about?" Jungkook asked as he skipped up the stairs, his ears flopping.

On the last step, right in front of Y/N he stopped. Y/N placed her hands on his shoulders before leaning in. Jungkook's eyes were wide as her lips softly touched Jungkook's own shocked ones.

Y/N had decided. It was the best thing she had ever decided to do. And her decision was Jungkook.

"Come on." Y/N smiled as she intertwined her fingers with Jungkook's, pulling him towards the door. "Let's have something to eat."

Jungkook happily followed Y/N, opting to wrap his arms around Y/N as they walked into their home.

Tag List

@haven-raven012591 | @ariana-winchester95 | @jennyjq | @Iwannag0h0me-c0m | @cstobitk | @goldenbangtann | @patpus | @lorielulu7 | @bubbletaetaesstuff | @narcissism-iskey | @yoongisabby | @demonslunacy | @sana-b | @chanyeolol | @nanskidoodle |

#bts #bts hybrid #bts hybrid fic #bts hybrid fluff #bts hybrid fanfic #bts hybrid smut #hybrid bts #hybrids bts #bts hybrids #bts hybrids fic #bts hybrids fluff #bts hybrids fanfic #bts hybrids smut #jeon jungkook #jeon #jungkook #jk #jjk #Jungkook hybrid #hybrid jungkook #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #rm #jim #suga #jhope

[razieltwelve]

How To Tell If Your Fantasy Hero Is An Idiot

Are you worried that your fantasy hero is an idiot? Well, here's an easy checklist. If you hero has done or would do any of the following, they may be an idiot.

Attempts to fight a dragon in honourable combat. Dragons are flying harbingers of fiery death that boast outstanding strength, speed, endurance, and durability. Trying to stab a dragon with anything less than a divinely forged blade is likely an exercise in futility and all but the most potent of magics are unlikely to do anything except piss one off. Challenging a dragon to a straight up fight without any tricks or schemes is essentially suicide but with extra steps. A similar argument could be made for anyone who tries to fight a hydra under similar circumstances.

Relies solely on the power of friendship to win. Look, I get it, friendship is awesome, and friends are fantastic, but relying on the power of friendship to win fights is a great way to end up dead. Imagine your hero and their friends show up in the fortress of some megalomaniacal demon lord. Your hero proudly proclaims their intention to slaughter the demon lord despite not having anything even remotely resembling enough power to carry out their threat. But, hey, their friends are at their side, and they're fighting to protect everyone's happiness. They can't lose, right? Wrong. Relying solely on the power of friendship is how heroes end up adorning the walls of villains as trophies.

Believes that magic is cheating. Okay, I enjoy a good heroic sword duel as much as the next person, but if magic exists and your hero doesn't either use it or have some way to defend against it, they're not only an idiot but also dead. I can see it now: "Hey, Mr Arch-Wizard of Ultimate Doom, stop using spells against me. It's cheating. You're not a cheater, are you?" ZAAAAP. BOOOOM. Dead.

Thinks that armour is for cowards. I can understand the hero wanting to show off their magnificent physique, but people have been wearing armour into battle for centuries for a reason. Ever get stabbed by a dagger while wearing plate armour? Unless they manage to get you in one of the gaps, the odds are good that you'll be fine. Ever get stabbed while fighting bare-chested? Yeah. That usually ends with you either dead or with a nasty infection. Anyone who thinks that armour is for cowards should probably just fight barehanded because weapons are for cowards too, right? I'm sure any dragon would agree.

Doesn't study. I get it. The hero is the hero. Their mere presence will reduce even the most intelligent of villains to a bumbling wreck and put steel into the spines of even the most cowardly soldiers, allowing them to lead their allies to victory against all odds and against any opponent. Or not. I can't emphasise this enough. Proper preparation is key. Are you going to be fighting a necromancer? Well, you'd better study what sort of zombies they rely on and put some hours into learning how to purify or otherwise deal with the undead. About to fight an ancient half-mad god born from the suffering of countless sacrifices? Yeah. You need to learn how to kill that thing, not just wade in there with sword and shield in hand. Who knows, maybe all you need is an incantation, or maybe you need a certain item. What you don't need is to find out that it can only be killed on the night of a full moon after you've already started fighting it.

Having an idiot for a hero can be tough, but with this checklist, you should be able to steer clear of the worst offenders.

Coming up next... five ways to escape a den full of giant rabid badgers using only a slice of bacon and a beagle.

If you’re interested in my thoughts on writing and other topics, you can find those here.

I also write original fiction, which you can find on Amazon here or on Audible here.

#writing #writing technique #humor #satire #musings

[yourmusicmuse]

Original Webbigail Headcanon

Mrs. Beakley had a daughter. She raised her to be courageous, strong, and fierce.

She was always very protective of her daughter. Her daughter always complained that she didn't have to spy on every one of her dates. Mrs. Beakley nearly judo-flipped that Vanderquack boy when he asked her on a date. She was overjoyed when they became engaged.

When her daughter became pregnant with a girl, Mrs. Beakley baby-proofed the entire house. Her daughter laughed at her over-protectiveness, now something she was used too.

"It's okay mom! I'm an adult now. I can handle things on my own." She smiled.

Mrs. Beakley stepped back.

Her daughter had a daughter. Mrs. Beakley was a grandma! She was thrilled and helped her daughter the most she could, but she and her husband insisted that they were okay.

Her grandchild never made it past five months.

The car accident took the lives of all three. Who knew that a pair of rogue Beagle Boys would cause that garbage truck to explode.

This is what happened when she stepped back...

Mrs. Beakley thrust herself into her work. She rarely saw herself as Bentina Beakley anymore, but rather as Agent 22, an emotionless S.H.U.S.H. agent whose sole purpose in life was to defeat any threats to the world.

When she saw her everything changed.

A five-month-old baby in a capsule in FOWL's lab. Female. Just under 25 inches. About 15 pounds.

The child broke Agent 22. She saw her daughter in that girl. She saw her granddaughter in that girl. All she was and all she will never be.

She saw herself again.

Mrs. Beakley had to save the child. She risked her mission just to bring her to safety. It was the least she could do after...the incident.

She retreated to her oldest ally's home and decided to raise the girl. No one would be able to love her as much as she would have.

But the girl needed a name. Something she could call her own.

Mrs. Beakley walked over to her closet, taking out a singular piece of pink ribbon. One of the only things that survived the wreck.

Her name would be Webbigail after the granddaughter she never got a chance to raise. She would be her granddaughter.

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 1: 2x25 Bread and Circuses

Today, the Classic ep, Bread and Circuses aka Star Trek: Ancient Rome AU.

Literally all of the bridge is just standing around, watching Kirk, watching Spock.

Another missing ship hmm? The S.S. Beagle. With a crew of 47--that’s small. And surprise surprise, the Captain is someone ELSE that Kirk knows. Does he know everyone in the galaxy? Truly excellent at networking.

Feels like it’s been a while since Spock called him “Jim.” Possibly because this was written early in the season, when he still did that a lot?

Another Merchant Marine, or equivalent. Interesting.

He was kicked out of the Academy in his 5th year. How many years is the Academy? I always assumed 4 but maybe it’s longer if you count like extra trainings and stuff.

Kirk is so in love with Spock talking about the planet. His face has gone all soft again.

Excellent roads--the first clue it’s Rome. (The big televised gladiator fights is the second clue.)

“I believe they called it ‘video.’“ If there’s no TV in the 23rd century, what is their entertainment? Netflix?

“We’re beaming down”--dramatic shot--dun dun dun.

Yeaaaah triumvirate!! They’re really going hard with this dynamic at this point in the series and I’m here for it.

I feel like this is the first time they’ve called the Non-Interference Directive the Prime Directive but I could be wrong. It’s certainly the first time they’ve spelled it all out.

“Behold! I am the Arch Angel Gabriel!”

“We come from another...province.” That’s a very convincing delivery. Especially paired with those outfits.

You can tell this guy’s important because he’s the only one wearing cut offs.

“We have many beliefs.” I feel like McCoy is a Southern Baptist.

Flavius: “I know killing is evil. But maybe just this one time? As a treat?”

“That’s our ship, somewhere... at sea. Yeah, our ship at sea. Not in space. That would be wacky.”

This episode is LITERALLY  “Rome AU.”

I love Spock looking through those “Elite” magazines. Doing a little research.

"Captain, I thought you might find this interesting." Hands him a magazine with a buff man on the cover. Yeah, Kirk is definitely canonically bisexual.

And he likes that car, too.

Why do all of Kirk’s friends and/or heroes lose and it and become tyrannical? At this point, it’s becoming a distressing pattern.

The SPACE ACADEMY? Damn why didn’t they keep that name?

“My dear Mr. Spock.”

And Spock’s like “You got me there, that was an example of Logic.”

Oooh, nice knit hat. Spock needs more beanies.

The son/sun pun is inspired honestly and it makes the Enterprise crew look so silly like "So you heard the words of the sun, you crackpot?" whereas he means, "I heard the words of the Son," which makes so much more sense on its face.

This Spock and Bones banter is also inspired. “Doctor, you are stealing my word, please stop.” “Medical man are trained in logic.” “I had no idea they were trained.”

Flavius is a really good character. I feel like I really understand all the sides to him: the warrior who can’t quite untrain himself from the killing instinct, even after he’s converted to Christianity and vowed to be a pacifist who loves mankind.

The triumivrate would have had so much fun together in college. If Jim they were all the same age, knew each other then, and Jim weren’t a stick in the mud at that time. “He’s sick, he’s about to double over!” “I am? Oh, yeah, I am! So sick!”

Spock immediately grabs the sword. That’s that Vulcan Warrior instinct. He does love old weaponry.

I’m considering the possibility that Merrickus is another ex-boyfriend. The vibes aren’t as strong as with that guy from A Private Little War, but there was a charged sort of look between them just then.

“He knows who and what we are.” Aliens. You’re aliens.

Oh, you want 50 Vulcans? Fifty Vulcan pacifists for the arena? A rollicking good time.

“Beam... come ashore.” Kirk’s very good at the Prime Directive.

Haha Spock said it was “interesting,” not “fascinating.” McCoy stole his word so now he needs a new word.

Classic Bones and Spock philosophical debate.

“My word is my vessel, my oath, my crew.” I love him your honor.

His two dear friends! Don’t threaten them!

They really think they can threaten Jim into doing the wrong thing. Never! He’s too good!

Honestly, it’s not really the Prime Directive (which they have broken before) that stops him from just annihilating a whole city with his ship...it’s that that would be immoral in and of itself. He’s not obliterating a society lol. That’s not an option.

Uhura is very interested in Scotty and his plans.

I love the whole concept of Roman Gladiator Television. The fake-ass background and the sound stage. “Empire TV.” The fake applause, boos, and catcalls. It’s the kind of thing you’d expect to see in fanfic tbh.

“Two highly aggressive barbarians.” Aka Spock and McCoy looking confused.

Good thing Spock definitely trained with Vulcan swords for fun when he was a small child.

The pro consul  is obviously in love with Kirk. Who wouldn’t be?

I don’t know if I believe these not-so-ancient Romans are so strong or so smart. This is pretty standard threats and kidnapping. Also Merrick can cry me a river about how hard this all is and how sad he was to see his men die. He’s the First Citizen ! It worked out well for him. Except that he appears to be the pro consul’s bitch.

That was a real missed opportunity for “I’m a doctor, not a gladiator.”

Spock only knocks the guy out when he needs to get rid of him to help Bones!!

Okay, that Spock and Bones scene is one of THE BEST in the entire series. Between anyone! The tension. The emotion. The complex friendship. ...The way Bones 100% knows Spock has a thing for Kirk and there’s pretty much no other way to read that exchange. “You wouldn’t know what to do with a warm, decent feeling” and then Spock’s like ‘ah, got you there,’ eyebrow raise, ‘Really, Doctor?” and then Bones is IMMEDIATELY like oh, right, you’re in love with Jim, forgot about that.” Have they discussed this or is it just that obvious? How does Spock know that McCoy knows??

In other news, a gratuitous Kirk kissing scene. They’re not even trying to come up with a pretext for this at this point.

This TV Execution is about to be pre-empted...by Scotty.

“What did they do to you, Captain?” Spock is so worried!! This would be a good time to call him ‘Jim’ but he used up his quota earlier. And Kirk doesn’t want to explain. “They threw me a few curves. A few blonde curves.”

Flavius was killed?????????? NOOOOOOO.

...And Uhura finishes up the ep by explaining the pun. Honestly, I get that Spock wouldn’t get “they’re Christian actually” as the explanation for all this and I’m going to give Kirk a pass also because I headcanon him as Jewish but McCoy, who is almost 100% certainly some kinda Christian AND was the most interested in this ‘sun worshiper’ confusion should really have put that one together on his own.

So overall, a good episode! I’ve seen it quite a few times, I think, and it doesn’t disappoint. I enjoy the concept of ‘parallel Earth but what if MORE ROME,’ I think the son/sun pun confusion is nifty, and it’s an awesome triumvirate episode that really shows off Kirk’s leadership skills. So no complaints!

Next is Assignment: Earth, which is a complete cheat of an episode because it’s a back door pilot to a show that doesn’t exist, but it does have Spock holding a cat in the beginning, so I guess I’ll muddle through it. Then...starting S3 off with Spock’s Brain. A rough couple of weeks ahead. But the reward is The Enterprise Incident.

#the year 2021 #2021: star trek #2021: fandom thoughts #star trek tos

[andrea-lyn]

Holiday prompt! Michael's a single dad (mother didn't want the kid so he raises her all on his own.) And he's the cutest fluffiest daddy to his little princess. But he's lonely. Alex has his little princess, his beagle Buffy. But he's lonely too. Michael and Alex have some kind of meet-cute and fall in love. Alex bonds with Michael's daughter and Michael/his daughter bond with Buffy. And they become a sweet little family in time for Xmas! (I loooooooove your writing btw!!!!)

what are you doing new year’s eve?michael/alex, pg-13

“Buffy! Hey! Whoa! Easy,”Alex pleads when Buffy takes off through the park, hellbent on gettingsomewhere, yanking on Alex’s arm as she bolts. 

Usually, she’s a great dog, but when there’s a lot of commotion going on, shecan get excitable. It’s probably Alex’s fault for bringing her to the fall fairlike this, but it’s one of Roswell’s few events – not to mention that Kyle hadtexted him that if he didn’t attend and kept sitting alone in his cabin, therewould be consequences. So here he is, out at the fair, while Buffy tries tomake him lose yet another limb because she wants him to go somewhere.He’s almost got her under control when the toe of his prosthetic digs into adivot in the ground and sends him flying. Alex hears someone’s shout of alarm nearby.He braces himself for the impact, but then it … never comes.Instead, he’s face-first in someone’s chest, hearing a high-pitched giggle nearhim. “Hi doggy!” a little girl says to Buffy, and Alex grabs at a pair ofshoulders (very nice, very strong, very handsome shoulders) to pull himself outof whoever’s chest he’s gone right into. When he looks down, he sees Buffy licking the girl’s cotton candy (she can’t bemore than four and she’s also very easygoing, because she clearly doesn’tmind). Alex stares up nervously to find himself in the arms of a handsome man,which is usually the kind of thing that only happens in his dreams.“Buffy, stop it,” he manages to eke out, even if he’s not looking at the dog. “Tori, don’t let the dog get your cotton candy,” the man says, and he sounds alittle like he’s echoing Alex’s tone. “Hi,” he says, breathless and a littlestunned as he looks at Alex. “You always meet new people like this?”“I think my dog had some designs on your daughter’s cotton candy.”

Alex collects himself and steps back, running through the list of likelypossibilities why this handsome man isn’t a prospect for Alex. Even thoughthere’s no ring on the man’s finger, there’s a daughter, which means that thewife is somewhere around here and though his dog may be trying to be amatchmaking little fiend, even she can’t know about the complications that hehas to face in a town like Roswell where his prospects can be counted on asingle hand. “She’s cute,” the man promises, and ducks down to haul Tori up by the waistinto a flying position. She screams happily and peers upside-down at Alex witha head of blonde curls bouncing. “I’m Michael and this is Tori,” he introducesthem, while Tori waves at them.“I’m Alex,” he says, tugging on the leash to get control, “and this is Buffy,”he says, bending to try and get some of the cotton candy out of Buffy’s mouth.“Sorry, I should let you get back to your family, your wife must be waiting forthe both of you.”It’s the wrong thing to say from the way Michael looks hurt, echoed on Tori’sface.“I don’t have a Mommy,” she says quietly. “Daddy says that she has importantbusiness somewhere else, but one day he’s gonna fall in love with someone elseand I’ll get a new Mommy or Daddy then.”“Tor,” Michael hisses.Alex blinks as he tries to rapidly process all of that. He can’t imaginethat Michael had intended for his daughter to out him like that. “Sorry, I’doffer to unhear that, but…”“It’s fine,” Michael says, even if he looks a little uneasy. “Her Mom and Igrew up together in a group home and a while ago we tried to have something.She got pregnant and she didn’t want the baby, but she had some pretty strictviews on that, so I offered.” His smile softens as he stares at her withadoration. “Best decision I ever made.”“She’s pretty cute.”“So’s your girl,” Michael replies, and when Alex gives a confused look, Michaelgestures to the dog. “Buffy, huh? You must’ve been a big fan.”“Or just a really big nerd,” Alex clarifies. “Are you new to Roswell? I feellike I haven’t seen you around, because I would’ve noticed…” He trails off, hiseyes widening before he admits something really stupid like ‘I would’ve noticedsomeone as hot as you’.“I lived here for a while when I was a kid, but then I got moved to a fosterparent in Albuquerque. Only came back for a job recently, but it’s funny howmuch the town hasn’t changed.” Michael hasn’t shifted his gaze from Alex’smouth the whole time he speaks. “At least, in some ways. I don’t remember ithaving someone as handsome as you around.”Alex glances to the side and blushes, wondering why he’s ignoring the pick upline.“It, um…I…” He’s not used to people flirting with him, so he thinks he’sallowed to be somewhat off balance. “Thanks?”“Yeah, no problem,” Michael replies with amusement. “Listen, Tori dragged meout to this thing because she said I was being Mr. Sad Dad sitting all aloneand working on the car, but I don’t really know what you do at a fall fair. Youwanna…explore with me?” he asks, biting his lip and arching his brow in a waythat has Alex reading all the way between the lines into the other thingsMichael might be asking with a question like that.“Yes!” Tori says, jumping up and down excitedly, already coming over to try andtake the leash. “Please? Please, please? I can hold Buffy,” she says veryseriously. Alex is still stunned that he literally fell head-first into this man’s chest,who happens to be bisexual, and wants to explore the fair with him. His luck isn’tusually this amazing, and yet, here he is, looking down the barrel of an offerhe can’t refuse.“Yeah,” he says. “I think I owe someone a cotton candy replacement.”“Yes!” Tori squeals. “And then we’ll play games, and ride the ferris wheel,”she lists, sliding her hand along the leash that Alex is holding to help, whileMichael falls into step at his side, casually bumping his shoulder ever once ina while, “and we’ll get pictures drawn and go pet the sheep…!”“All that, huh?” Alex teases.“Maybe even more,” Michael agrees, and leads them off into the fair. His dog is a remorseless matchmaker, he decides, but seeing as Michael keepstouching him in all these small little ways, keeps feeding him fair food, keepsgrinning in that sweet and overly perfect way, it’s not like he minds. When the night’s over and they’re parting ways in the parking lot, Michael’sgot a sleeping Tori in his arms, giving Alex an apologetic look.“I’d give you my number, but my hands are kind of full…”“It’s okay,” Alex rushes to insist, not wanting to put expectations on Michaelfor one good afternoon. “I’m Alex Manes, I’m out at a hunting cabin justoutside of town, but maybe I’ll drive in sometime and visit the both of you. Iknow Buffy would love to see you again.” He breathes in and decides to go forbroke. “I know I would, too.”“Okay,” Michael replies, with a considerate nod. “Michael and Victoria Guerin,”he says. “Look us up or we might just have to come find you.”Alex waves them off, thinking about how that threat had sounded far toogood. Maybe Alex will have to hold off on the finding, just to see what happens next.*On Thursday evenings, Alex attends the local library with Buffy for a sessionin the kids’ section. Buffy mills around the kids to soak up affection whileAlex reads stories, plays his guitar, and sings. It's something he’d picked uprecently when the weight of being alone at home had begun to crush him. Hehasn’t really had anyone for years and it’s not like he and his family getalong, which means that other than his dog, he doesn’t really have anyone inRoswell.He used to have Kyle, but then he’d picked up that doctors without bordersrotation last month and Jenna’s off on another tour, so here he is.The kids are great, though. They love hugging and cuddling Buffy (and his dogis an absolute terror who preens as she encourages it) and Alex likes having anaudience, even if it’s children. His day job involves programming, which ispretty lonely in itself, so getting out and doing this is a godsend. He makes it through the first story and song before he looks into the crowd ofkids and sees a familiar head of curls and a beaming gap-toothed grin directedback at him.Tori waves eagerly at him, bouncing in her seat. Alex laughs as he waves back,noticing that Buffy’s decided where she’s going to stay, which happens to be inTori’s lap. Alex pushes that thought out of his mind that where Tori goes,Michael is also probably there. It still affects his next song choice, pickingsomething closer to a ballad than a happy upbeat song.When story time is over, Tori jumps up. “Come on Buffy!” she whistles andclaps. “You gotta go back to Mr. Alex, now,” she says.“Alex is okay,” he says with a laugh and a warm smile for the girl. He digsinto his bag for a treat to get Buffy at his side, patting her head when shereturns to him. “Hey Tori,” he greets her. “You liked story time?” “I did!” Tori agrees. “I never got to do this, but then Daddy found out thatyou were here and he said we should come, cuz you never called us.” It’spetulant and she’s got her hand on her hip, like Alex is in trouble, which he’scertainly feeling even though it’s all turned out for the best.His favorite people in the world have come to see him play music and sing andread stories. Even Tori’s stomping mad mock-fit can’t change that.“I definitely made a mistake,” Alex promises, hand over his heart. “How about Ipromise to take your Daddy out for coffee and bring you, and then I can make itup to you?”Tori squints at him, like she’s thinking about it, but then nods. “Okay, butyou gotta guess what I’m gonna be for Halloween, Alex!” Tori demands, jumpingup and down a little. Alex laughs as he keeps her in, a hand gently on her shoulder to prevent herfrom drifting too much. “What are you gonna be?” he asks, her energy just alittle overwhelming, and he wonders how the hell Michael does this on his own.“An alien!” she says loudly. “I’m gonna have antenna and green skin and…”“Tori, volume,” comes her father’s voice.Alex blushes slightly, knowing that he’s probably been lurking around, butstill, glancing up to see Michael in a soft-looking sweater is enough to catchhim off guard. Alex wants to wrap his hands up in it and tug Michael towardshim, bury his face in his shoulder, and kiss his way up his neck before…He’s in a children’s library section. He should not be having these thoughts.“Hi,” Alex says, staring at him. “Hey,” Michael replies, coming to stand behind Tori. “You never called.”“You said you’d come find me if I didn’t,” Alex replies, heart pounding in hischest. “I figured if you were actually interested, you would.” And here he is. “So,if Tori’s dressing up as an alien for Halloween, what’s her Dad going as?”Michael lets his gaze slide over Alex and shrugs, like he’s not so sure hewants to give it away so easily. “I mean, you could always come with us,” hesays, which makes Tori’s face light up with delight, whispering ‘yes, yes, yes’and tugging on Alex’s hand, even though Halloween isn’t for another week andchange. “Then you could see what I’m dressed up as.”So they’re doing this, are they?“Okay,” Alex hears himself agreeing, because he’d be an idiot not to. “I guessI’ll see the both of you on Halloween.”On trick-or-treating night, Alex shows up in town with Buffy. She’s wearing littlealien antennae to match Tori and Alex has dressed up in his very finest vampirefangs and contacts (mostly because his go-to costume from Rocky Horror PictureShow probably isn’t appropriate for public consumption). Tori is, as expected, an adorable little alien. Her father is dressed up as acowboy, with that black hat looking way too good to be true. The pantsalso happen to be a little too tight and look like a strange material that hasAlex questioning them.While Tori is off collecting candy, Michael fills him in on why that is. “Theyran out of the normal cop costume for adults, so uh, this is the stripperversion from online.”Alex gapes at him as he wanders up to collect Tori, wondering if he’s going tobe able to test out those pants and see how easily they come away. His heartpounds in his chest as he thinks about it, hoping against hope that maybehe’ll get that. For now, he’ll enjoy the view. *It's the day.Today’s the day Alex has to decide if he’s going to attend the family Christmasparty or whether he’s going to turn it down another year in a row. On the onehand, he loathes his father and he knows the feeling is mutual, so the lastplace he wants to be is under his roof. On the other, it’s going to be a lonelyChristmas otherwise. It’s the thought he’d been debating while standing in theliquor store for the last thirty minutes mulling over the same bottle ofwhiskey.“I know it can’t be that complicated to decide on the booze, so whatever’s onyour mind must really  be weighing youdown.”Alex startles, glancing to the side to see Michael standing there with abasket. “It’s not Sunday,” Alex jokes, which is when they meet up to go groceryshopping together. He hugs the bottle of whiskey a little tighter against hischest to try and dispel the way he feels so unsure, wishing that he could makethis decision easily, but he can’t. Obligation and hope that his awful familywill decide this is the year they stop being terrible looms. “What, I can’t stalk you on Fridays, too?”“I would’ve picked a nice restaurant for dinner if that was the case,” Alexjokes, but it feels empty. “What’s up?” Michael asks. “Man staring at liquor like that for as long as heis, it’s never a good thing.”“I have to tell my family today if I’m going for Christmas dinner or not,” Alexsays. “I keep waiting until the last minute and that’s today.” With only a weekto go, they want to know how many places to set and Alex knows that he alwaysputs it off because of his indecision, but he usually folds and goes, only toregret it.“What happens if you don’t go?”Alex shrugs and puts the bottle in his basket. “The same thing that always happens.Buffy and I have a night in where I make something for dinner that she eats offmy plate, I get stupidly drunk, and then I wish I’d gone. It’s why the last fewyears, I do go, and then they call me names, ask me if I’ve thought aboutconversion camps, and are total assholes for the whole night.”It’s a lose-lose situation, basically.“You’re ignoring the very good third option here,” Michael says, his facestormy the moment Alex mentions the conversion came. “Come spend the day andevening with us,” Michael says.Alex had never counted on there being a possibility of a win in thissituation. Yet, it catches him off guard. Even though he and Michael have beenspending a lot of time together over the last three months, it had neveroccurred to him to even ask to spend the holiday with Michael and Tori, but nowthat he’s brought it up, it’s the only Christmas gift he actually wants. He’s sure that his face is filled with a desperate longing (something else hefeels around Michael all the time, which means it’s a normal look for him thesedays).“It’s Christmas,” Alex hears himself protesting, instead of screaming yesthe way he wants to. “I don’t want to intrude.”“My foster siblings are all out of town and you’re Alex,” Michael says, shakinghis head like he can’t believe Alex thinks he’d be intruding. “You’re basicallypart of our family already. Tori adores you, and she loves Buffy. Sometimes, Ithink she loves your dog more than she loves me, it’s causing some realemotional issues…” he deadpans, but he’s still smiling. “Alex,” he says andreaches out to rest his hand on top of Alex’s. “Can you please let me have whatI want for Christmas and come spend the day with us?”He wouldn’t be alone. He wouldn’t be at his awful family’s house.Instead, Alex would get to indulge in the third option, one that he’s neverconsidered until this very moment. “We’ll be there,” he hears himself saying.Suddenly, the whiskey in his basket doesn’t seem half as necessary because there’sgoing to be an air of celebration instead of doomed certainty about what hisfuture holds.“I can’t wait,” Michael says. “Neither of us can. You’re family, Alex,” hesays, before heading to check out.Alex watches him go, fighting that desperate urge to grab Michael by the collarso he can kiss him and tell Michael that maybe they’re family, but Alex wants tobe so much more. He’d be family and partner and boyfriend and lover. He’d beeverything, even a second father to Tori, if she’d have him. By the time he resolves to do something about it, Michael’s out of the store,but with the holidays looming near, Alex knows that he’s going to get hischance. *“There’s only a minute left! Sixty!” Tori begins the countdown, her armswrapped around Buffy as she lies on the floor, watching the television. She’shyperactive on the chocolate that she’s been snacking on all night to stayawake, much to Michael’s chagrin (and Alex’s guilt, seeing as he’s been the onefeeding it to her). She keeps counting down, even as Alex shifts on the couch,staring at Michael.It’s been such an incredible back half to the year. Ever since they met at thefall fair, Alex can’t imagine his life without Michael. Every Thursday he has adedicated fan in Tori in the front row at the library, with Michael lurkingnearby. The Christmas they’d spent together had been perfect in all the mostsurprising of ways, and on a regular basis, Michael had started to take Alexout for coffee once a week on top of their usual grocery store date.Alex’s loneliness has begun to ebb away, almost like it had never existed inthe first place.“So, new year coming up,” Alex says, adjusting the blanket they’re under asTori jumps back and forth with Buffy trying to paw at her feet. “You got anyresolutions you planning on making?”Michael’s attention is fixed on Alex, reaching up to adjust the glittery silverparty hat that he’s wearing. “I’ve been thinking about it,” he admits, “andyeah, I think maybe there’s one that I’m meaning to take on.” Alex absently rubs his fingers over Michael’s hand, massaging out the cramphe’d gotten when he’d been opening up the champagne bottle to have it ready togo. “Yeah?” he murmurs.“Yeah,” Michael says softly.“…five! Four!”“You gonna tell me?” Alex asks, heart pounding in his chest.Tori screams one and the television goes wild wishing everyone a new year, butAlex barely hears any of it because Michael leans in and cups his cheeks tobear him to the back of the couch with the kiss that Alex has been dreaming ofsince they first met. It takes him all of a frantic half-second before Alexremembers to kiss back, parting his lips to deepen it while tangling hisfingers in Michael’s curls to tip his head to the side, pushing back to makethis more equal.Breathing heavily by the time he eases back, Alex sags back in happy disbeliefto see Tori grinning at them, jumping up and down and wriggling withexcitement.He’s fed her way too much chocolate.“Happy new year!” she announces and throws herself into a hug in Alex’s arms,snuggling in and yanking on Michael to pull him in. “Does this mean that I’m gonnaget Buffy at our house too?” Alex should feel like his emotions have been wounded what with Tori only caringabout Buffy’s presence and not Alex’s, but he closes his eyes to feel Michaelpressing his temple to Alex’s head, adjusting the blanket to curl all three ofthem under it. “We’ll see, okay?” Michael murmurs. “I gotta make sure I keep my resolution tokiss Alex every day for the next year going, so maybe if he says yes to usmoving in with him, I can do it.” He grins at Alex hopefully, raising bothbrows. “I know it’s fast, but I also think you know that we’re both lonely onour own and this thing, us? It’s working,” he guarantees. “So…what do youthink?”Alex, who’s already been thinking about them as his family for ages, knows deepdown that it could be too fast. And yet, at the same time, they’ve gone monthswithout a kiss as they built a foundation together that could support this asthey try. The worst that can happen is that it falls apart and Alex loses it. No, that’s not it.The worst is that he never tries and doesn’t get it at all. For that,Alex is willing to take the risk. He cups Michael’s cheek as he leans in tokiss him again the way he’s been wanting to for ages, pressing soft kisses tohis lower lip as he eases back to stare dreamily at Michael. “Your daughter’son a sugar high, so I’m gonna say this real quietly,” he murmurs. “But yeah,you can move in with us,” he whispers, and seals that promise with a kiss.He can feel Michael’s grin against his lips, and the little sound of victoriousdelight sends frissons of pleasure through Alex. He has to let them movein, though. After all, Michael has a resolution to keep and Alex feels verystrongly about making sure that you keep to your word, especially when thereare kisses at stake.

#malex #michael/alex #2019 holiday gifts #single father michael #dog father alex #ofc child #holiday fluff #with a meddling child #roswell new mexico #Anonymous

[themurphyzone]

Oneshot: Make Believe

Summary: When actors from Darkwing Duck go missing, Drake Mallard and Launchpad are beyond ecstatic to finally have a case that doesn’t just involve stopping a Beagle Boy from purse-snatching. But hero work always leads to a dangerous truth. 

Drake Mallard flopped onto his bed with a splitting headache. He’d spent two hours on a stakeout and the only action he had was just another Beagle Boy purse-snatching. That old lady should’ve been grateful, but she screamed about killer shadows returning and smacked him in the head with her purse. 

He groaned and reached for a bottle of painkillers. Seriously, what did she keep in that thing anyway? 

Rocks, bricks, and medieval torture devices? 

He’d only taken up the mantle a few weeks ago. Drake knew he shouldn’t expect results right away, but he figured there would at least be a journalist or two seeking a new and fresh story. 

He was still an unknown figure in Duckburg, so he had to brainstorm ways to boost his public image. Business transactions at McDuck Enterprises, failed revenge schemes at Glomgold Industries, and Gizmoduck dominated the local Duckburg news. He needed to take a case that would supersede all three of those things, something that would circulate through the major networks and social media alike for weeks. 

Roxanne Featherly criticized everybody she reported on, but Drake was willing to tackle negative publicity. If he could prove his own bullies wrong as a duckling, he could certainly shatter expectations all over again. 

And maybe, just maybe, he could inspire a kid to triumph against the world. 

He could be a hero. 

A sudden rumble shook the foundations of his apartment, and Drake instantly went on alert. 

“Who’s there?” he called, throwing open the door to his bedroom. “I’ll have you know, I was top of the class in Quack Fu! Beware my fists of fury, thieve!” 

But the living room only contained a couch, a TV, a table, the front half of a limousine sticking out of the wall-

“If you’re trying to kidnap me, you’re doing a very poor job! And I definitely don’t appreciate your pitiful attempt at redecoration!” Drake shouted, his fists raised in a basic defensive position. 

“AH! THERE’S A KIDNAPPER IN HERE?” someone screeched. 

“Aha! So you admit your motive!” Drake exclaimed triumphantly. In the darkness, he could only make out vague shapes. But there was a tall, muscular someone in front of him. That was an undeniable fact.  

“Have at you, fiend!” Drake yelled, rushing at the tall, blobby shape and knocking it down. He drew his fist back, but his attacker’s hat fell off, revealing bright red hair that no darkness could ever hide. 

“THE KIDNAPPER’S GOT ME! HE’S GONNA SACRIFICE ME TO THE MOLE MONSTERS!” 

“Wait, Launchpad?” Drake asked, lowering his fist. He knew that voice. He never would’ve tried the hero gig for real without it. 

“HE KNOWS MY NAME! NOW HE CAN MIND CONTROL ME WITH A MAGICAL AMULET!” 

Drake scrambled off Launchpad and turned on the lights. “Launchpad, we’re the only ones in here. There’s no kidnapper.” 

Launchpad sat up, scratching his head as he surveyed the living room, his eyes falling on the damaged wall and limo. He chuckled, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “Oops, guess I’d better let Mr. McDee know about this. He’s not gonna like it though...so, how are you?” 

He popped the question like they just randomly saw each other in the grocery store. 

“Disregarding the whole kidnapping and crashed limo thing? I’ve been better, I guess,” Drake shrugged. “Mostly I was just hoping I could stop something bigger than a Beagle Boy purse-snatching.” 

“Stopping a theft is good,” Launchpad said earnestly. “Stealing is wrong.” 

Drake knew Launchpad was right, though sometimes the childlike honesty was a little uncomfortable. 

“I saved the purse without too much trouble, but I was smacked in the head by its owner,” Drake said. 

“Gee, that’s too bad,” Launchpad winced. “It hurts just thinking about it.” 

“Yup,” Drake sighed. He turned on the TV, quickly flipping to the news when the screen displayed a rerun of Darkwing Duck. 

Launchpad didn’t protest or comment on the switch. The circumstances under Jim Starling’s disappearance were too fresh on their minds. Through some unspoken agreement, they refused to consider the possibility of their idol’s death. 

Jim Starling. 

Drake didn’t know how to feel about him anymore. On one hand, Starling saved their lives. But on the other, Drake and Launchpad’s lives wouldn’t have needed saving if Starling hadn’t set the studio ablaze with his jealousy-induced rage. 

Drake thought he’d honored Starling by accepting the role in Boorswan’s rather...unique vision. 

But Starling just considered him a knock-off replacement. 

“Hey, Launchpad,” Drake said quietly. Launchpad’s gaze tore away from a clip of Gizmoduck accidentally beaning Roxanne Featherly with a lemon meringue pie during an interview. “You told me to honor Jim by taking up Darkwing Duck. How do you know I’m just not replacing him?”

“Cause you aren’t,” Launchpad insisted. “Let’s say you and Jim are both pilots instead of actors and you’re both working under this really important guy. Then Jim goes missing for a decade and during that time the important guy hires you to pilot him around. Then Jim comes back, you wanna meet him, then he yells in your face in a houseboat and storms off. Get the picture?”

Drake forced a smile. “Uh, yeah! Oddly specific analogies really help me get the picture. Thanks.”

Launchpad clapped him on the back so hard that Drake nearly fell off the couch. “No problemo,” he said, his attention returning to the TV. “Huh, they got a missing person case going on.” 

Drake leapt to his feet. “A missing person case?” he exclaimed, suddenly feeling wide awake. He quickly turned up the volume. 

“-actor-turned-salesman Jack Russell has been reported missing. He was last seen walking by the water cooler factory in the industrial district. The investigation is still pending.” 

A picture of Jack Russell flashed onscreen. The dog’s hair and muzzle had long turned gray, but there was no mistaking those long, floppy ears and enormous nose. 

“Is that-” Drake gasped. 

“The actor who used his background as a salesman to deliver rapid-fire marketing-based threats as the Liquidator!” Launchpad exclaimed. “Man, that’s too bad. Vanished into thin air like Jim.” 

“Like Jim,” Drake agreed. “You don’t suppose there could be a-” 

“-suspicious connection behind the disappearances!” Launchpad and Drake finished together. 

“Now that we’ve established that particular possibility, let’s head to the industrial district, partner!” Drake exclaimed. 

“Partner?” Launchpad gasped. He bounced up and down uncontrollably. 

“Sidekick doesn’t have the same ring to it,” Drake admitted. “You get the limo outta the wall, I’ll get into my costume, and together we’ll solve this mystifying mystery perpetuated by the machinations of the malicious criminal mind!” 

Launchpad’s jaw dropped open. “You’re really good at that alliteration thing!” 

Drake grinned as he disappeared into his bedroom. “Don’t wanna boast, but I was one of the best drama students in my school!” he called over his shoulder as he donned his Darkwing Duck costume for the second time that night. 

“Duckburg. A peaceful, quiet night. The moon and stars shine over the empty streets, not a soul to be seen. Yet not all are slumbering peacefully in their homes, for villains lurk somewhere in the shadows. For he is the terror that flaps in the night, the typo in the villain’s manifesto, he is Darkwing Duck!” 

The limo swerved to the side, the front bumper clipping a stop sign. Darkwing yelped and grabbed the seat with both hands, wishing he hadn’t ignored his agent’s suggestion of creating a will. 

“Great monologue!” Launchpad said, still applauding. 

“Uh, Launchpad...if you don’t mind, WE ARE ABOUT TO CRASH INTO THE BRIDGE!” 

Darkwing covered his eyes in preparation for the inevitable.

“Love the dramatic flair, especially when you say-oh no, the bridge!” 

Darkwing smacked his bill against the glove compartment as the limo’s front slammed against the concrete support beam of the bridge. His seat belt was the only thing that saved him from being flung out the window. 

Shaking his head to get rid of the dizziness, Darkwing grappled for the door latch and stumbled out, clinging to a telephone pole for support while his heart rate slowed to a less dangerous hypertensive level. 

“Oops,” Launchpad grinned sheepishly. “At least we’re at the factory now. So are you going to use your superior sleuthing abilities to catch the crook?” 

Finally recovering from his near-death experience, Darkwing straightened up. “There’s no guarantee we’ll catch the crook now, partner. But there could be some kind of clue. Signs of a struggle, a form of identification, something.” 

Launchpad tsked. “It’ll be awful hard to find a clue with all this litter lying around.” He scooped up an armful of discarded advertisements. “There a trash can around here?” 

Something small and rectangular slid out of Launchpad’s arms, landing face-up at Darkwing’s feet. A duck’s head was emblazoned across what Darkwing initially assumed to be a business card. 

But business cards didn’t normally depict masked, malicious-looking ducks. Darkwing scrutinized the card, even using a magnifying glass in case the words were written in very fine, small print. But there was no name, no address, no telephone number. 

There was nothing written on the back either. 

“Launchpad, we found a calling card,” Darkwing said as the taller duck returned from dumping the advertisements into a trash can. “I have a theory that it was purposely planted by the perpetrator.” 

Launchpad only looked at the card for ten seconds before pulling away, his shoulders hunched and his eyes uneasy. “He looks kinda like you.” 

“Well, I can see it in the beak and face, but my hat is way more stylish. Who wants to go around wearing a ragged stop sign on their heads?” Darkwing said, deliberately turning the card face-down. 

He didn’t want to look at the card for longer than necessary. Something about that smile with sharp, yellowed teeth made him nervous. He ran a hand through his cheek feathers, praying they weren’t as ragged as the picture on the card. 

“You alright, DW?” Launchpad asked. 

“I’m fine. This lead is a bust though. We should find a-wait, DW?” Darkwing asked, the nickname halting millions of questions that were currently running through his head. 

Launchpad nodded. “I want to call you something too. I mean, I know the show usually called him ‘the Darkwing’ or ‘the Masked Mallard’ or something but I can come up with something else if you want. I got it! I’ll call you the Purple Pimperbill!” 

DW didn’t have a bad ring to it. But mostly he wasn’t keen on being saddled with the second suggestion. 

“DW sounds great, LP,” Darkwing said. 

“Darkwing Duck gave me a nickname,” Launchpad breathed, collapsing in a dead faint. 

While waiting for Launchpad to wake up, Darkwing flicked through the local news on his phone. 

So far, the police had discovered nothing. It seemed like everyone was banking on Gizmoduck to rescue Jack Russell. Well, almost everyone. Roxanne Featherly was adamant that the police could handle it and Gizmoduck should keep his oversized wheel out of the way. 

For once, Darkwing was inclined to agree with her. Gizmoduck just didn’t seem like the investigating type to him. 

Another headline popped up. 

BREAKING NEWS: ESTEEMED UNIVERSITY OF DUCKBURG PROFESSOR DR. TINO CHICKPEA KIDNAPPED IN BIOLOGY LAB. CLICK TO SEE SECURITY FOOTAGE. 

Tino Chickpea. Bushroot’s actor, Darkwing recalled. His love for plants wasn’t just a trait made up by the show.

Launchpad coughed, finally coming back to the conscious world.

“Glad to see you awake,” Darkwing said, practically shoving his phone in Launchpad’s face. “We have a video lead now! Whoever our kidnapper is, he’s not smart enough to avoid getting caught on camera!”

He played the video.

The security feed didn’t have audio, but Darkwing could practically hear Dr. Chickpea gently encourage his budding sunflowers. As the professor measured water in a beaker, shards of glass scattered across the floor. A caped figure stalked towards Dr. Chickpea, who didn’t appear to notice the intruder until the very last second. His beak went wide, but the intruder knocked him out with a single blow to the head.

Launchpad rubbed his own head as if he could feel the migraine that sort of attack would inevitably cause.

The intruder slung Dr. Chickpea over his shoulder like a dead weight, then lingered by the desk for several seconds as he removed something from his pocket and shut it inside a drawer. 

With a flourish of his black cape, the intruder faced the security camera. 

Black mask. Ragged, crimson hat. Messy feathers. 

Darkwing compared the face on the card to the criminal in the video. It was a perfect match.  

The intruder laughed directly into the security camera lens. Though Darkwing couldn’t hear it, he was pretty sure living bodies weren’t supposed to contort like that. 

Finally, the intruder sauntered offscreen with Dr. Chickpea in tow. 

The video was over. 

“He left the calling card here, Launchpad,” Darkwing said, pushing down the uneasy feeling in his stomach. “And deliberately planted evidence among Dr. Chickpea’s beloved plants.” 

“I thought he put it in a drawer,” Launchpad said. 

“They’re in the same room. It still counts,” Darkwing replied. He struck a heroic, confident pose to rid himself of his previous misgivings. A kidnapper that had successfully nabbed two former Darkwing Duck actors was running rampant and needed to be stopped after all. “We should get to that bio lab. To the limo, partner! We’re going to the University of Duckburg!” 

“Alright! I haven’t been to that place since I accidentally crashed the Sunchaser into the field by the Fine Arts building!” Launchpad exclaimed. 

It normally took half an hour to reach the university from the industrial district, but Launchpad’s driving shortened the journey by fifteen minutes. Though Darkwing held a great preference to not bumping into curbs with every turn of the wheel, he had to admit that Launchpad saved plenty of time. 

As Launchpad pulled into an alley to avoid parking next to the police cars surrounding the street in front of the university, Darkwing searched for a layout of the campus online. He found a color-coded map that would suit their purposes tonight. 

Much to his surprise, the biology building wasn’t far from the giant archway in front of them that marked the university’s entrance. That would greatly simplify the investigation. 

Now it was just a matter of sneaking past the police officers. 

“Here’s the plan, LP,” Darkwing said, snapping his fingers in front of Launchpad’s face when his expression glazed over from the nickname. “We’ll work on your fainting habit after this case is wrapped up, but our main priority is getting past those officers.” 

“Or we could just ask them for information,” Launchpad said. 

Darkwing shook his head. “While that would be our simplest option, I’m not a recognizable public figure yet. They’d probably just mistake us for costumed partygoers.” 

“Too bad you’re not Gizmoduck levels of recognizable yet, huh?” Launchpad asked. 

“And what does that mechanical menace have that I don’t?” Darkwing muttered, painfully aware of how Gizmoduck content had a tendency to circulate around social media. Sure, most of the videos consisted of suit malfunctions, but the recognition levels were the part that counted. 

Launchpad pointed to the university. “The police’s attention for one thing.”

“Huh?” Darkwing peeked out of the alley, concealing his beak with his cape so the bright color didn’t give away their hiding place. 

Sure, Gizmoduck was the self-proclaimed superhero of Duckburg and finding a kidnapper naturally came with the territory, but that didn’t mean Darkwing was pleased to see him. The mechanical menace’s beak flapped multiple times as if he was speaking a mile a minute. Several of the officers held pens and paper out, which Gizmoduck quickly signed before trying to get back on topic. 

One of the officers pinched the edge of Gizmoduck’s beak and gently shook it, much to his embarrassment. 

Darkwing didn’t like Gizmoduck, but he knew this was their best opportunity to sneak past the officers. 

And seeing Gizmoduck being treated like a little boy was comedy gold. Too bad his phone camera didn’t capture videos from this distance. 

Darkwing and Launchpad crept out of the alley, ducking behind a police car for cover. 

“M’maaa...ma’am I must ask that you focus on the question please,” Gizmoduck declared. “Did the kidnapper leave any fingerprints or other forms of evidence behind?”

“Are you sure you aren’t wearing yourself thin?” a brown-feathered officer asked. She looked torn between wanting to hug Gizmoduck and maintaining a certain professional distance. 

“He doesn’t look good,” Launchpad whispered. 

“How can you tell? You can’t even see his expression,” Darkwing said. 

Launchpad shrugged. “He’s been busy lately. Hasn’t been around his lab much either.”

Darkwing blinked at him. Launchpad was more well-connected than he realized. 

“As fascinating as Gizmoduck’s personal life is, we should really be going,” Darkwing said. 

After a quick check to make sure Gizmoduck and the officers hadn’t spotted them, Darkwing and Launchpad made their way across the street and ducked behind a thick bush before finally sprinting to the archway, where a support column blocked them from the officers’ line of sight. 

“Oh man, that was awesome!” Launchpad exclaimed. “Only thing we need is a musical accompaniment!” 

“Smooth jazz on saxophone would’ve been so perfect,” Darkwing said. “I’m definitely the saxophone type. Smooth, classy, magnetic.” 

“Yeah, I can see that,” Launchpad said. “What kind of instrument do you think I’d have?” 

Darkwing thought for a moment. “Cymbals. Or some kind of percussion. I don’t know, cymbals crash, you crash, I think it fits.” 

“We should put wheels on cymbals,” Launchpad mused. “Then you’d get twice the crashiness.” 

They headed to the biology building, which had a helpful ‘Biology Hall’ label attached to the doorway. Darkwing stopped Launchpad before he could enter.

“Let’s look around the perimeter first,” Darkwing said. “There was shattered glass in that security footage, so there’s likely a broken window used as a point of entry.” 

Launchpad nodded. “Exactly like the thirtieth episode!” 

“Yes, precisely,” Darkwing agreed. “And once we’ve located the broken window, it’s a simple matter of finding whatever the kidnapper left behind!” 

“Let’s do this!” Launchpad exclaimed as they rounded the corner. 

“That’s the spirit!” Darkwing shouted. 

Turned out there were a lot of broken windows. 

“Maybe I should look into the next few labs,” Launchpad said. “Your feet aren’t looking so good.”

Launchpad’s feet were covered so the glass shards didn’t affect him much, but Darkwing wished he had the foresight to bring boots along.

“Working through the pain!” Darkwing grunted, though every step felt like a million pins were digging deeply into his lacerated feet. “Just give me a few minutes and I’ll be fine. Boost me into that window on the end! I have a feeling this could be it!” 

Launchpad bent over, allowing Darkwing to climb onto his back and reach the last window. The glass had been entirely knocked out of the pane, the sparkling shards scattered all over the lab. Darkwing pushed off the wall with his hands, heaving his lower body through the window. 

Darkwing dusted himself off, then helped Launchpad through the window. 

“Whoa,” Launchpad said in awe. “Tino Chickpea sure loved his plants.” 

It looked as though the professor had turned his lab into a miniature greenhouse. Shrubs and saplings lined the entire back wall, while flowerpots rested on the tables. The cabinets were full of fertilizer, seeds, and water. 

The artificial sunlight lamps hanging above the flora made it possible to see without the use of a flashlight. 

Darkwing avoided the shards as best he could, though he was pretty sure the smaller crystals were still burrowing their way into his foot. There was a desk in the middle of the room, directly in the line of the security camera. A sink had been built into it, the kind that students normally used in science labs. 

A shattered beaker laid on the floor, the glass surrounded by a puddle of water. 

“Aha! So this is the lab where Dr. Chickpea was unceremoniously abducted by our avaricious avian,” Darkwing said, heading straight to the drawer where the kidnapper had purposely left something behind. 

The middle drawer contained a black recording device. 

They were trying to leave a message. 

“That’s weird. I thought criminals wanted to get away with their misdeeds,” Launchpad said. 

“So did I,” Darkwing admitted. 

Instead of keeping his kidnappings under the radar, it seemed as though the masked villain enjoyed being in the open. 

Darkwing hit the play button, hoping the tape would explain some sort of motive behind the kidnappings. 

A guttural sound came out of the recording device, followed by harsh, gravelly laughter. Darkwing tried to turn the volume down, but the laughter only seemed to get louder. 

“I am the screeching fingernail on the chalkboard of justice! I am the devastating blight on the potato field of peace and goodwill! I AM NEGADUCK!” 

Darkwing and Launchpad backed up from the recording device as if it had been possessed by the devil himself. 

The voice spat out every good value as if they were nothing more than a disgusting, grimy stain in a twisted perversion of Darkwing Duck’s triumphant introduction.

“Hello, Dipwing Dork. We haven’t been properly introduced, have we?” the voice crooned, every word oozing like deadly, acidic honey. “But I’ve been watching you, and you think you’re oh-so-noble letting my...no, your lackey feel like he’s helping. Newsflash, dimwit. He belongs to me. You stole him. I’ll take him from you. I’ll take everything from you that you stole from me!”

“I didn’t steal anything from this...Negaduck guy,” Darkwing said, picking up the recording device. He’d heard enough. He prepared to throw it out the window, but a tingle ran up his arm and evolved into a painful shock that made him drop the device on his foot. 

“Nuh-uh-uh. I’m not finished yet. Just one last order of business. I have two actors. You may have noticed something they share in common. And like any collector, I’m not satisfied until I have them all. Maybe I can even score a few...exclusives. Oh, I believe I mentioned this device was set to self-destruct once the recording’s done?” 

Launchpad barely managed to grab Drake and take cover behind the desk in time as the device exploded, creating a huge hole where the window used to be. Thankfully, Dr. Chickpea’s plants were unscathed. 

“I’ve never heard of him,” Launchpad said. 

And Launchpad regularly associated with a family who faced down practically every type of villain in existence. 

“A newcomer to the scene then,” Darkwing said, struggling to his feet. The pain was flaring up again, but he ignored it. “Jack Russell and Tino Chickpea played two members of the Fearsome Four. Negaduck’s going after the last two. We have no choice but to emerge victorious against this vile villain.” 

“Dan Rattigan and Michael Bill,” Launchpad supplied. “The actors for Megavolt and Quackerjack. They run a toy store downtown. Been there a few times with the triplets. They’re a big help when I faint in there.” 

“Given the current time, it’s more likely they’re at home,” Darkwing said. “And unless a headline breaks about them being kidnapped, we have no way to reach them.” 

“Actually, they’d be in the toy store tonight,” Launchpad said, pulling up a picture of a video game console on his phone. “It’s the midnight release of the Gigashark X. It’s been superhyped up lately. Louie’s been trying to get Mr. McDee to buy him one, but Mr. McDee isn’t budging.” 

Darkwing checked the recent news on his phone, but there was nothing to indicate that Dan Rattigan and Michael Bill had been kidnapped. 

Since Negaduck was deliberately leaving evidence of his criminal activity behind, he probably wouldn’t care much about kidnapping the former actors in front of an audience either. 

If anything, the recording raised more questions than answers. 

“Alright, let’s get to that toy store,” Darkwing said. “And please try to resist fainting this time.”

“Sure thing, DW,” Launchpad agreed. 

After some debate, Darkwing and Launchpad decided to leave through the front entrance so they didn’t have to deal with the glass. Then the door burst open. 

“LEAF-ING SO SOON, THIEVES?” 

Darkwing and Launchpad instinctively put their hands up as Gizmoduck rolled into the lab, shining a spotlight on them as if they were a pair of criminals.

“Mistaken for a kidnapper by a guy who can’t even make a pun worthy of a Saturday morning cartoon,” Darkwing muttered. 

“Believe me, I’d love to be more creative with those,” Gizmoduck sighed. 

Launchpad waved. “Hi, Fen-” 

Gizmoduck broke into a coughing fit. 

“Uh, guy I don’t know whose name definitely doesn’t end with ‘ton’!” Launchpad corrected himself hastily. “Man, that was close.” 

“Launchpad!” Gizmoduck groaned. “You’re as bad as M’ah...Officer Cabrera. Hold on, why are you even here? And with the criminal too!” 

“I’m helping DW on the missing actor case,” Launchpad replied. “It’s been really cool so far. It’s just like being on the Darkwing Duck show!” 

“And if you watched the security footage, you’d know that the kidnapper’s costume is similar yet different than mine,” Darkwing added. 

“So did you use your super-cool telepathic abilities to find us?” Launchpad asked. 

“My suit can track heat signatures,” Gizmoduck said. “I don’t have telepathy.” 

While the chance meeting was nice and all, Darkwing knew they really needed to get back to the case. He clapped his hands, getting Launchpad and Gizmoduck’s attention. “Yeah, great to meet you. If you don’t mind, Launchpad and I will be heading to a toy store now,” he said, insistently tugging on Launchpad’s arm.

Unfortunately, Launchpad was too heavy for him to move. “I know! We should team up!” Launchpad exclaimed. His arm snaked around Darkwing’s shoulders, and he managed to get Gizmoduck tucked under his other arm for a group hug. 

Darkwing tilted his head slightly so Launchpad didn’t accidentally choke him, and Gizmoduck’s beak opened in surprise as he wobbled unsteadily on his wheel. 

“We’re gonna be like one of those buddy cop shows where they don’t mesh well at first but through a series of mutual understandings we come together and save the day!” Launchpad exclaimed, pulling their heads closer to his chest. “To the toy store!” 

“To the toy store!” Gizmoduck shouted. “Wait, why are we headed to the toy store?” 

“We’ll fill you in,” Darkwing said as he tried to wriggle out of Launchpad’s iron grip. 

Gizmoduck was terrible at the whole secret identity thing. Even if Launchpad hadn’t slipped up and called him ‘Fenton’, Darkwing would still know that Gizmoduck’s M’ma was on the police force.

Because his armor was too large to fit in the limo, Gizmoduck had gone back to his alter ego, Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera, for the time being. Fenton added Darkwing Duck to an alarmingly large list of people who already knew his secret identity. 

The Gizmoduck armor was currently inside a large duffel bag, stowed safely in the back. It seemed like an incredibly cumbersome way of keeping the costume nearby. 

Darkwing explained everything they knew about the case, and Launchpad interjected a few times to compare an event to something that happened on the Darkwing Duck series. 

“I think the components of the recording device were already prone to overheating,” Fenton said after Darkwing summarized the important points of Negaduck’s message. “Though under normal circumstances, it would be a few sparks here and there or a small flame that would easily be put out. This Negaduck guy likely added a small time bomb that would go off after a certain amount of time when the play button is pushed. Too bad it couldn’t be salvaged. I know someone who could’ve examined the parts for us.” 

Darkwing didn’t care much about the science behind the recording device though. It exploded. That was all he needed to know. 

“Fenton, you’re one of the best scientists I’ve ever met. Sure you could have done it too,” Launchpad said. 

Fenton blushed. “Uh...I don’t know about that. I get the basic concepts and stuff, but I don’t really have, say, advanced knowledge of electronics. That’s more of Gandra’s thing.” 

“He’s an official employee under Mr. McDee,” Launchpad said. “Scientist superhero is a pretty good job title.” 

Darkwing raised an eyebrow. “So he just sends you out whenever he needs some superhero-ing done?” 

Fenton shook his head. “I’ll admit I had a brief stunt as...well, a sell-out superhero under Mark Beaks for lack of a better term...but I could never work like that again. Deciding who doesn’t get saved or not saved based on an app? It was terrible. And I still barely know what I’m doing half the time. I repeat puns like three times in the course of a single confrontation. I still pie people in the face by accident. I’m not sure how half the contraptions on the armor work.” 

“Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out,” Launchpad said. “Gyro and Mr. McDee and the kids and I think you’re amazing. You already have a strong moral code as a hero. You’ve got this.” 

Fenton smiled. “Thanks, Launchpad. Still, I’m glad you guys are helping me with this kidnapping. It’s been kinda tiring lately.” 

“We should do an interview together. You can promote me as Duckburg’s newest hero, and I can give you a few pointers in managing your fame,” Darkwing said. 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Fenton laughed. 

Teenagers and young adults lined the sidewalk leading up to the toy store, complaining loudly when the employee only let ten in at a time. It seemed like every teenager in Duckburg was here. So far, everything looked normal and there was no sign of a black-masked duck anywhere. 

“From what you told me, I just assumed Negaduck already kidnapped the former actors,” Fenton said as Launchpad parked behind a delivery truck. The hood ornament of the limo crunched against the back bumper. “But that doesn’t seem to be the case here.” 

“We might have time. If we can get to Dan Rattigan and Michael Bill now, we might be able to take them to a secure location and rescue the other two actors,” Darkwing said. 

“McDuck Manor would be our best safe zone,” Fenton suggested. 

“Launchpad can drive them there,” Darkwing said. “You and I will find Jack Russell and Tino Chickpea and apprehend Negaduck.” 

Launchpad grinned. “Alright! I get to drive two actors from my favorite show!” 

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Fenton said. “Got any ideas on how we’re getting in though?” 

“Easy. Name brand recognition,” Darkwing said. 

Launchpad and Fenton stared at him blankly. Darkwing couldn’t be the only one in their group who was willing to take advantage of fame, right?

“Starting to see why all those posts trend about Gizmoduck on social media. You should really get a PR manager for that,” Darkwing suggested. “Just roll up as Gizmoduck. The employee will let you in cause you’re famous, and me and Launchpad too by association.” 

Fenton frowned. “I don’t like taking advantage of being well-known like this. And you’re a little too excited about fame by association.” 

Okay, maybe he also wanted to try negotiating a cut of the toy sales by using his connection to Gizmoduck. But hey, a guy had to get publicity somehow. 

“Hello there, citizen!” Gizmoduck called to the employee managing the door, who finished counting another group of ten and regarded Gizmoduck with half-lidded eyes. “Beautiful night, isn’t it?” 

“I guess,” the employee yawned. “Get back in line. Like, way over there.” 

He pointed to the end of the street, where the line only increased in size. 

“Sir, this is an important matter,” Darkwing stated. “We have it on good evidence that a crime most foul will be committed here tonight.” 

“Technically, the evidence was destroyed,” Launchpad added. 

Darkwing put a finger to his beak to hush Launchpad. The employee didn’t need to know that. 

“A kidnapper has been targeting actors from Darkwing Duck. Two of your co-workers are on his list,” Gizmoduck said. “If you’ll let us through, my associate Launchpad will drive them to a secure location while Darkwing and I catch the kidnapper once he shows up.” 

The employee rolled his eyes. “I’ve heard plenty of stories tonight. People just don’t wanna wait in line, you know? Now get to the back and I might consider letting you in when it’s your turn.” 

Darkwing marched up to him, ready to protest that lives were at stake, but broke into a hacking cough instead. Thick clouds of red smoke flooded the air like evil incarnate in a gaseous form. Gizmoduck activated several fans on his suit, but it wasn’t effective against the dense smoky dread that had pierced its way into the atmosphere. 

Confusion and panic snaked their way through the crowd. Teens tried to run, only to collide into each other. Total strangers clung onto each other for dear life. Several people rushed out of the store to see what was going on, despite Gizmoduck trying to order them back inside. 

“I AM THE BLAZING INFERNO THAT RAVAGES YOUR CITY. I AM THE VENOMOUS SNAKE THAT LURKS IN YOUR BACKYARD. I AM NEGADUCK!” 

The proclamation was followed by harsh, gravelly laughter, which terrified his audience even more. The smoke made it impossible to pinpoint Negaduck’s location. 

“My heat sensors can’t detect him!” Gizmoduck coughed. “There’s too much interference!” 

Darkwing clenched his fists and dropped into a basic defensive position. 

“I was wondering when you’d show that face I despise so much,” the voice hissed. “I was about to go rob a few banks while I waited. Blow off steam.”

Darkwing tried not to twitch. He felt something press against his back and he jumped, only to realize that it was just Launchpad covering his blind spots.

“Face it. You’re nothing more than a fanboy in a costume. A hack. A fake. How pathetic. I’d get more of a challenge out of an eroded pebble!” 

“Shows what you know. You’ll never scare me!” Darkwing said, allowing his cape to flare out. His heart hammered and threatened to jump out of his chest at any given moment. Negaduck was just another bully, he told himself. Darkwing had dealt with plenty of those. “Do you know who I am? Let me tell you, I am the terror who flaps in the ni-”

Something heavy slammed into his back before he could finish, knocking him to the ground. Gizmoduck and Launchpad cried out in warning, but Darkwing could barely hear them over the massive cacophony. 

Darkwing’s back erupted into sheer agony. Something was putting massive pressure against his spine, pinning him in place. Fingers dug into his vertebrae, threatening to sever a fragile nerve. A hand clamped down on his neck and squeezed. Darkwing could only make choked, pathetic noises while an eerie cackle rang in his ears. 

Black spots danced in Darkwing’s vision. He couldn’t yell at Launchpad and Gizmoduck to run and find help. He couldn’t make out anything except a pair of furious, insane eyes. 

The harsh laugh formed a chilling soundtrack as the darkness closed around him. 

“Unhand us at once! Michael and I need to be at the store tonight! You’ll be hearing a call from my lawyer if you don’t let us go!” 

“My plants are on a very strict water schedule!” 

“I was taking a walk to cure my insomnia! What did I do?” 

“Is this some kind of joke to you?” 

“Would. All. Of you…SHUT IT! I CAN’T HEAR MYSELF THINK WITH ALL YOUR STUPID YAKKING!”

Darkwing’s neck throbbed. His back ached. His lacerated feet stung.

He took it as a sign that he wasn’t dead.

“DW! Where’s DW?”

Launchpad.

“I’m right here!” Darkwing tried to say, but something that tasted an awful lot like spandex covered his beak, preventing him from reassuring Launchpad. 

“No pet names! Darkwing Duck doesn’t do pet names, nicknames, or any of that other junk!” 

Darkwing opened his eyes, surprised that the material covering his face wasn’t blinding him. 

Launchpad was bound to a high-backed chair, his wrists restrained by many coils of rope. Several rows of empty seats stretched out behind him. 

It was a studio audience setup, Darkwing realized. 

Four old men were strapped to the floor on a green screen. They whispered to each other in soft tones, shooting confused glances to Negaduck, who barked orders at them to shut up while he rolled a large camera into the center of the setup. 

They found the actors of the Fearsome Four, but not in the way Darkwing had hoped. He’d been thinking more along the lines of a daring rescue where he thoroughly defeated the villain and received countless requests for public appearances afterward. 

Gizmoduck wasn’t here. 

Darkwing knew Gizmoduck was either running damage control or going to McDuck Manor for help if Negaduck hadn’t gotten his slimy hands on him, but he seriously needed to hurry up. 

Negaduck pounded on a piece of sound equipment whose wheels were trapped on a piece of metal in the floor. After several minutes, he screeched so loudly that the walls shook and tore through the metal with a chainsaw. The metallic sound grated on everyone’s ears, but Negaduck didn’t listen to anyone’s pleas for mercy. 

With Negaduck distracted, Darkwing could escape, rescue Launchpad, evacuate the Fearsome Four, and save the day! Darkwing grinned, feeling the spandex crinkle against his cheeks. 

First things first, the mask that encompassed his entire head had to go. Darkwing grunted, but his hands refused to come up to his face. He could only twitch his fingers against his sides. His legs were bound too, so he couldn’t use his feet either. 

So Negaduck thought he was clever enough to restrain Darkwing Duck with a series of intricate knots, did he? Little did he know, Darkwing had some Junior Woodchuck merit badges under his belt! Tying and untying knots had been one of his specialties! 

Darkwing looked down, though the mask limited his range of motion. But he didn’t find a large rope coiled around his body. 

Instead, a gray suit covered him from his neck down. At first, Darkwing thought Negaduck had changed his clothes while he’d been unconscious and cringed at how creepy that sounded, then he felt his fingers brush against the fabric of his Darkwing Duck costume, much to his relief. 

Darkwing leaned back, taking a deep breath and tried to think of a new plan of escape. His head brushed against another piece of fabric, and he jerked forward in surprise. A red, high-collared cape covered his back. 

At least he thought it did. It was hard to tell with his limited head-turning capabilities.

The costume was vaguely familiar to him, but he couldn’t pinpoint where he’d seen it before. 

“Where are we anyway?” Launchpad asked. “I dunno, I thought I was at a toy store with DW and Gizmoduck.”

“As my biggest fan, I thought you’d appreciate seeing me in action,” Negaduck said, leaning against the metal gate that separated Launchpad from everyone else. “Had to knock you out like the hack and Feeble Four though. Can’t have you revealing my location before the big show.” 

He grinned, revealing a mouthful of sharp, yellow teeth. 

Launchpad shrugged. “Sorry, I think you confused me with someone else. I’ve never seen you before. Well, unless you count that security footage in the lab.” 

Negaduck laughed humorlessly. “That cheap camera didn’t capture my best side.” 

“What big show?” Michael shouted. “If you’ve tied us up here, the least you could do is explain why!”

Negaduck snarled in his direction, and Michael quickly hid his face. His entire body trembled, and only a brief touch from Dan managed to calm him down again. 

“Aw, Mikey,” Negaduck chuckled lowly. “You’re too impatient. I was just getting to that part. SO DON’T INTERRUPT ME WHEN I’M TALKING!” 

Negaduck’s fist collided with Michael’s head, knocking out the former TV villain instantly. Dan and Launchpad pleaded for Michael to wake up, Tino stuttered incoherently, and Jack averted his gaze and refused to speak, as if it would somehow shield him from Negaduck’s wrath. 

Darkwing threw himself forward, trying to scream Negaduck’s name to get his attention. He needed to draw his ire, get him to turn his wrath away from an innocent person, but the suit prevented him from moving more than an inch. 

Darkwing strained against the suit, but it was tightly pressed to his chest and limbs. He gasped for breath as the suit closed in around his body, constricting his movements even further. 

He’d never been claustrophobic before, but he was sure he’d be developing that fear soon enough. 

“Ah, I see our guest star is getting restless,” Negaduck drawled. “You’re all just dying to know what’s happening, aren’t you? My biggest fan, don’t you wanna know who our guest star is?” 

“I’m not sure I like this,” Launchpad admitted. 

Negaduck ignored him. “We’re on the air in one more minute. Those bumbling morons make it so easy to hijack the airwaves.” 

He sauntered in front of a camera, adjusting his ragged hat and cape. 

A green light flickered to life. 

“Attention, Duckburg! You’re bearing witness to the debut of Negaduck! And don’t even think about tuning out, because all your channels are filled with nothing but me! Not that it’s a huge competition. I’m sure you all prefer watching a grim and gritty villain than whatever passes for entertainment these days!” Negaduck laughed.

Darkwing didn’t know how Duckburg was reacting to this, but he doubted they were laughing along. 

“Years ago, a show was canceled prematurely. I was...invested in this program,” Negaduck ranted. “The idiot executives thought they could sweep it under the rug and pretend it never existed. But the joke’s on them. In just a few moments, everyone will be able to see the long-awaited season finale of Darkwing Duck!” 

“You left Michael half-dead for this?” Dan shrieked, ignoring Tino’s attempts to hush him. “A fanboy who can’t accept that a silly show ended. I can’t believe this.” 

“Believe it,” Negaduck growled. ”BECAUSE I DON’T RECALL TELLING YOU TO SPEAK!” 

Negaduck kicked Dan in the side, hurling furious diatribes about where he could stick his electronics. Dan whimpered in pain and curled into a ball to protect himself. Tino trembled violently, while Jack pursed his lips and avoided looking at Negaduck. 

Launchpad looked away, fiddling with his restraints. “So that’s why he’s got the masked evil twin and the bombs,” he said quietly. “I...I don’t wanna believe it either.” 

As Negaduck stalked towards Darkwing, something clicked in his mind. 

He knew this suit. It was in the last episode of Darkwing Duck before the series was canceled. 

Hadn’t he spent countless hours theorizing over TV Darkwing’s evil doppelganger? 

Negaduck knew the Fearsome Four actors. He was invested in the show. He knew Darkwing would investigate the kidnappings. 

And most importantly, Negaduck believed Launchpad was his biggest fan. 

Negaduck dug his hands into the fabric of the villain suit, and Darkwing shuddered as he felt sharp-tipped fingers press against his ribs. 

“You think a few very painful explosions can stop me?” Negaduck snarled. Darkwing resisted the urge to gag on his rancid breath. “Now, let’s see who you really are.” 

Darkwing had seen those blazing, madness-fueled eyes before. And just like last time, he was caught off-guard, aching, and helpless. 

The spandex mask came off with a sharp yank. Negaduck carelessly tore out several of Darkwing’s feathers along with it. 

“Jim Starling?” Darkwing asked, the name tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop it. 

For a moment, the only sound was Launchpad’s choked gasp. Darkwing was sure Launchpad had figured it out already. He just didn’t want it to be true. 

Negaduck’s hand went slack and Darkwing took several deep breaths, savoring the air he’d been deprived of. 

But it didn’t last long. 

“DON’T CALL ME THAT!” Negaduck roared, an animalistic howl escaping him. Darkwing’s vision blurred as his beak smashed against the ground. 

“YOU’RE TALKING TO NEGADUCK NOW! I’LL GROUND YOUR SKELETON INTO DUST AND BLOW IT UP WITH A MISSILE! AND THERE’LL BE FIRE! LOTS OF FIRE THAT WON’T LEAVE YOUR ASHES BEHIND!” 

Darkwing’s entire body was on fire. His muscles protested, his legs throbbed, and no matter how deeply he breathed, he couldn’t get enough air to travel to his lungs. 

But he had to get up and keep fighting. He couldn’t allow Jim...no, Negaduck... he had to think of them as different entities, to hurt four innocent people. 

Darkwing strained against the suit, finally freeing his arms and latching onto Negaduck’s ankles. Negaduck snarled, striking every part of Darkwing’s body with his feet, but Darkwing refused to let go. 

With his legs still trapped, Darkwing was relying heavily on his upper body strength. He endured Negaduck’s kicks for just a few seconds longer, then abruptly tugged on Negaduck’s ankles, knocking him to the ground. 

But his attack only fueled Negaduck’s murderous desires, and Negaduck freed his feet from Darkwing’s grasp within seconds. Darkwing’s head swam as Negaduck slammed him facefirst into a metallic strip. 

“DW!” Launchpad shouted, struggling against his bonds. “Jim, you gotta stop!” 

Negaduck glowered at Launchpad, his hand still wrapped around the back of Darkwing’s head. “The name is Negaduck!” he screamed, sharply yanking Darkwing’s head back. Darkwing made a pathetic noise as his neck ached in protest. 

“You’re still Jim Starling though,” Launchpad said calmly. He was the only person in the room who wasn’t intimidated by Negaduck’s violent inclinations. 

The crushing pressure around Darkwing’s head vanished, and he hit the ground facefirst again, but not by Negaduck’s doing. Compared to everything else he endured, it felt like he’d fallen onto a pillow. 

“You’re my fan,” Negaduck growled. “Support me.” 

But Launchpad shook his head. “Not this. Never like this.”

Negaduck took a step back, the madness in his eyes being replaced by...was that grief? 

Maybe it was the lack of oxygen talking.

In a swirl of his tattered black cape, Negaduck swept out of the room, his hasty footsteps echoing off the walls. 

It took several tries and shouted instructions from Darkwing, but Launchpad finally untied the restraints binding him to the chair. He rushed over to Darkwing, stepping behind him and lifting the high-collared red cape out of the way. 

Moments later, Darkwing heard something being unzipped as he pulled his legs free of the trap he’d been forced to wear. 

“The Darkwing Duck trivia said that Jim-” Launchpad paused, glancing to the door in worry. “-well, apparently he spent six hours stuck in the doppelganger costume cause the zipper wouldn’t work and he wouldn’t let anyone cut him free.” 

“Your production trivia knowledge comes in handy,” Darkwing said, smiling at Launchpad despite his aching beak. “Come on, let’s get these actors free.” 

Dan and Tino’s restraints came undone in a simple tug, Jack’s took a bit more effort, and Launchpad had to carefully slide Michael out while Darkwing undid the complicated knot. 

“That was Jim?” Jack asked in a small voice. His long ears hung limply as he bowed his head. “You’re sure?” 

Those were the first words he’d spoken all night.

“I’m afraid so,” Darkwing admitted. “Are you alright? I mean, I know you were kidnapped and taken here against your will...sorry, Mr. Russell. It was a dumb question.” 

“I’ve seen better. I’ll stay here and keep an eye on my friends,” Jack promised. “Jim needs to be stopped.” 

“You’ll be fine?” Darkwing asked. 

He glanced at Michael, who was still out cold. 

Jack nodded. “Don’t worry about us. Best go before Jim gets away.” 

Darkwing and Launchpad followed the trail of destruction. Overturned desks, shattered pictures, and shredded paper littered the hallway. 

Negaduck was standing in front of a large mirror that covered the far wall of the room. 

It was supposed to be a dance studio, but the floor was in need of a good polish, the ballet shoes were worn and frayed, and the mirror was cracked and distorted their reflections. 

“That’s me in there,” Negaduck murmured, reaching up to touch Darkwing’s reflection. He hunched over the bar, breathing slowly. “There I am. Adored, respected, beloved by fans.”

His voice was no longer Negaduck’s husky growl, but it wasn’t the familiar pitch of Darkwing Duck either. 

No heroic bite, no confidence, no cockiness. 

“Jim, we can help you,” Launchpad said quietly.

Darkwing braced himself in front of Launchpad, ready to lash out if Negaduck’s short fuse went off. 

Negaduck didn’t acknowledge them. 

“But it’s not real, is it? Just some stupid fantasy of a has-been who’s not even fit for a cameo. That’s what being a hero gets you. Insults and scoldings and everyone wondering why you couldn’t have a productive life even though you get injured every single day of your washed up career just to entertain them.” 

“Jim, please stop,” Darkwing whispered.

Negaduck screeched, tearing out the bar and smashing it against Darkwing’s reflection. 

“WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST LET ME BELIEVE I HAD A CHANCE?”

Jagged mirror shards splintered everywhere, leaving an empty, tattered wall behind. Negaduck clawed at the wall, shredded wallpaper falling to the ground.

This was the man he once looked up to. 

This was the man who shaped his worldview.

This was the man who gave inspired him, enabled him to fight back, and helped him through hard times. 

And now he was gone, though some part of Darkwing prayed that wasn’t the case. 

The next few minutes passed by in a blur. Darkwing couldn’t watch Gizmoduck restrain Negaduck and walk him into an armored vehicle. He couldn’t watch the paramedics aid the former actors. He couldn’t watch Scrooge McDuck order several skilled technicians to cut the hijacked airwaves and restore the normal programming. 

“You need medical attention too, DW,” Launchpad said. 

Launchpad was right, but Darkwing buried his head into the taller duck’s chest instead. 

Maybe it was selfish, but he desperately needed this. 

Drake’s hospital room had been dubbed ‘The Superhero Suite’. Launchpad had explained they treated any injuries Fenton received as Gizmoduck here. And doctor-patient confidentiality extended to secret identities as well. 

Drake had several finger-shaped bruises around his neck where Negaduck had tried to strangle him. Drake had almost forgotten what it felt like to breathe normally. And he was lucky to not have an infection on his feet from the broken glass. 

“This is so weird,” Fenton said. “I’ve never seen you without your mask before!” 

“Just don’t go calling me Drake Mallard when I’m in costume,” Drake warned. “Cause the identity thing is something you need to work on.” 

Fenton laughed. “Yeah, I get the same lecture from all the other critical people in my life. Guess people are a little more observant than they portray them in the superhero shows!” 

Drake fingered his bedsheets, trying to think about anything but a certain show. “Sure they are.”

“Ah, sorry. I forgot. I’m just gonna change the subject before I strike a sore spot, okay? I’ve got good news. Launchpad’s smoothed everything over with Mr. McDuck. He’s less angry about the blown up limo now. And I’m pretty sure the kids are throwing an ‘I’m so happy you’re not dead’ party for Launchpad.” 

“When did the limo blow up?” Drake asked. He didn’t remember that part. 

“Launchpad parked too close to the delivery truck where Negaduck was keeping his kidnapped victims,” Fenton replied. “He couldn’t get the doors open so he could throw you, Launchpad, and the two actors-turned-shopkeepers in. I guess blowing up the limo was the logical thing for him. Or he just liked explosions. Maybe both.” 

“And the actors? How are they?”

“Recovering on a floor below us,” Fenton said. “Michael needs to be observed for a while, but he’ll pull through. So will Dan. They’ll be running their shop in no time. Jack said he’d be helping Tino with some community gardening. He says nature has a calming influence on Tino.”

Drake sighed in relief, just happy that the actors would be alright. 

Fenton twisted his tie, scuffing the floor with his feet and avoiding eye contact. “Drake, I stopped by for another reason. I just wanted to...say...um, I’m sorry. Really, really sorry. From the bottom of my heart sorry. Really badly-” 

“Fenton.” 

At the sound of his name, Fenton looked up. 

“Don’t go putting this on the record, but I have no idea what I’m doing either. Nobody wrote a Superhero-ing for Dummies manual, you know,” Drake said. 

“You wanna learn together?” Fenton asked, finally smiling back. “Launchpad said you’ve got all sorts of neat moves on you. If you teach me a thing or two, I can get you a few gadgets. It’ll protect you better in the field.” 

“You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Crackshell-Cabrera. I humbly accept your offer,” Drake bowed dramatically, much to Fenton’s laughter. 

“My two superhero buddies are bonding!” an excited voice said from the doorway. “It’s everything I dreamed and more!” 

Drake coughed. Launchpad’s childlike honesty was nice at times, but it could be downright awkward too. 

“Nice to see you, Launchpad,” Fenton said, patting the chair next to him. “Things going good at the Manor?” 

Launchpad happily accepted the invitation. “Yup! Louie was upset that he missed a late night episode of Ottoman Empire. The whole taking over your TV thing, you know. Dewey and Webby clung to my legs for a whole four hours. That’s gotta be some kind of record. Huey and Della were out doing some Junior Woodchuck mother-son camping trip, so they missed out. They’ll find out soon enough, I guess. Mr. McDee says Negaduck was taken to jail and they’re gonna be setting a trial date in a few months.” 

“Negaduck won’t be in jail forever,” Fenton said. “Probably just long enough to recuperate, but he’ll be causing trouble on the streets.”

At the mention of Negaduck, the jovial atmosphere sobered. 

Drake plucked at his bedsheets. He wanted to believe Jim Starling and Negaduck were two separate people, but reality said otherwise. He couldn’t live like Negaduck, who desperately tried to relive the glory days of his acting career. 

But being a hero wasn’t something a person could make-believe. 

Jim must’ve believed in the ideals and dreams of Darkwing Duck once. He’d inspired Drake and Launchpad after all. How many other children saw him on television and adopted Darkwing Duck’s beliefs? 

“I think we should help Jim,” Launchpad said. 

“What? He tried to kill you guys a lot!” Fenton protested. “He’s selfish, egotistical, and doesn’t care who he hurts. Why would you wanna help someone like that?” 

Fenton hadn’t grown up with Darkwing Duck the way Drake and Launchpad had. And frankly, Drake thought the idea was crazy too. 

But nobody, not even Jim Starling, Negaduck, or whatever he called himself deserved to rot in their own madness. 

“Because it’s the right thing to do,” Drake replied. 

“For Jim,” Launchpad said. 

“For Jim,” Drake echoed, placing his hand over Launchpad’s. 

They looked expectantly at Fenton, who sighed in resignation. 

“I have my doubts, but you’re right. Heroes save everyone, whether they deserve it or not. Let’s do this for Jim,” Fenton said. He squeezed Launchpad’s and Drake’s hands. 

Jim Starling once showed Drake how to get back up and stand on his own two feet. He showed Drake how heroes suffered setback after setback, but it didn’t stop them from saving the day. 

It was time to return the favor. 

#darkwing duck #drake mallard #launchpad mcquack #fenton crackshell cabrera #ducktales 2017 #jim starling #negaduck #fanfiction #strangulation tw #torture tw #nothing really graphic though

[galoots]

Fun Uncle Wrestlin’

A short piece I wrote before work today. It’s purely indulgent fluff about Scrooge and Donald, what else. 

           “Kids! Save me!”

           The sound of Uncle Donald’s squawks for help made Webby and the triplets launch into action. They jumped up from the couch where they’d been lounging and rant towards the source of the commotion.

           “Team Uncle Protection Squad, roll out!” Webby cheered, “The threat could be anything. Beagle Boys, Glomgold, Magica, that raccoon that hates Uncle Donald!”

           Louie, jogging behind an enthused Webby, rolled his eyes. “Please don’t assign us random team names.”

           “Yeah!” Dewey chimed in, “It’s the Dewnificient Four!”

           “No its not.” Huey ran up beside his siblings, “I’m using my veto.”

           Team Names would have to wait until whatever threat awaited them in the foyer had been dispatched. All that the kids found when they arrived, battle-ready and in formation, was Scrooge wrestling a struggling Donald.

           “Help! Kids, I’m under attack!”

           “Stop being foolish, Donald,” said Scrooge. “You’re always saying we should spend quality family time together.”

           “This isn’t what I meant!” Donald squirmed in his uncle’s iron grip. How on earth was this old man so strong?

           “Wait, what?” Whatever Louie expected to find when they ran in, it was not this.

           Mrs. Beakley, who had not let the raucous scene disturb her dusting, filled the confused children in on the situation.

           “Your uncle discovered that PBS is airing a 13-part docuseries about Scotland. He’s been trying to curtail Donald into watching it with him.”

           “It’s your history, laddie!” There was a thump as Scrooge successfully pinned Donald.

           Beakley calmly intoned, “He has been rather resistant to the idea.”

           Having successfully subdued Donald for the moment, Scrooge finally noticed the audience they’d attracted. “Children! Excellent timing. You can join us! It will surely be very educational.”

           “Kids,” said Donald, “Save yourselves! After you save me.”

           Exchanging matching grimaces, the kids knew there was only one clear course of action. It only took a few seconds for Dewey to yell SCATTER for the kids all to run off in different directions. It was every man for himself in this dire situation. Donald was almost impressed with their reaction time. If he hadn’t felt so betrayed.

           “Well,” said Scrooge, “Looks like its just the two of us then.” He shuffled off Donald only to grab his nephew by his waist and hoist him over his shoulder. Donald groaned with embarrassment and despair. “You’re so light, nephew! Have you lost weight? Are you skipping meals again? Tut! Beakley, start setting a place for Donald at the dining table from now on.”

           “Yes, sir.” She watched as the two continued to squabble while Scrooge hauled a furious Donald down the hallway towards the TV room. Nice to see those two getting along again, she thought.

#donald duck #scrooge mcduck #uncle scrooge #ducktales #duckverse #disney ducks #duck comics #fanfiction #team uncle #duck family fluff #i didn't really edit this much #so if its kind of eh then eh

[adamarinayu]

Did you see the trailer for the rest of season 2? Did you see Donald?

Yes!! I did! And I am so excited hggggg I need it now

Somewhat happy to see a payoff to the “people can’t understand Donald” joke- I don’t remember if I said it here on tumblr or to my discord friends, but I called it that Lunaris was gonna use it to his advantage! And hnnn Donald is gonna go toe to toe against Lunaris!! And I assume Penumbra’s gonna help him, by freeing him and telling him of Lunaris’ plan...

I so, so very hope that it’s Donald flying the golden rocket and not Penumbra, destroying the large gold ship (a transit ship? I’m not sure what it is but that sequence from the trailer looks SO COOL). It’d be so badass to see Donald actually flying a rocket properly, and take out a large part of Lunaris’ army. 

I still hope to see PK but at this point I’m guessing we’re not getting PK, since Donald was fighting against Lunaris himself, but hey! Frank did say they didn’t reveal every character :) I’m also hoping for a little heart to heart between Donald and Penumbra, before she chooses to help him, where we finally get his side of the Spear of Selene story (as we’ve only gotten Scrooge’s part, not Donald or Della’s). It’d be nice to see Penumbra choosing to help Donald out of compassion rather than guilt. But I’m not sure there’ll be any time for that, amidst everything else.

I’m curious about all of the screens and diagrams! Like the Lunarians have been monitoring Earth, or something. Specifically Donald’s nephews on the screen. Also that really weird family tree that pops up and crosses out Donald’s face- are we gonna get a Disney Death?? Is Lunaris gonna initially win against Donald, and Donald be declared dead until he comes swooping in at the last moment (either as PK or Donald, either one would be EPIC) like SURPRISE BITCH I LIVED and just takes out Lunaris’ army?

Will the triplets, Webby, Della, Scrooge, Mrs. Beakley, etc etc be involved in the fight against the Lunarians or will they be fighting the villain teamup while Donald fights the Lunarians?? So many questions, so many options. 

The villain teamup- whoo wee when Glomgold goes for it he goes hard. Was he the one recruiting everyone? I assume so, but yeah. Why is Magica green again? I’m guessing she regained her magic since we last saw her!

Oh yeah and something I was wondering about when I saw the poster! (sorry about bad quality image rip)

... Assuming Penumbra sides with Donald, Baby Beaks isn’t evil, Owlson is just a business woman, and Goldie isn’t evil, there are only two villains on this poster; Don Karnage and Zeus. It could be argued that Zeus is more an antagonist than a villain, so... Don Karnage.

(of course, I never watched Talespin so there are characters on here I don’t recognize, so if I’m wrong go ahead and correct me hgg)

I just can’t help but wonder why Don Karnage is the only actual villain (and not just antagonist) on the poster? No Glomgold, no Magica, no Beagles, none of the well known classics. No Vultures, not even current threat Lunaris. But Don Karnage is there.

Now I’m not saying “redemption arc for Don Karnage” but I think it’s interesting. Maybe it’s just because he’s in a plane? I don’t know. Just an interesting thing to note.

#Ask #DuckTales 2017 #Spoilers #OKAY SO DO READ MORES NOT WORK ON ASKS ANYMORE?? #Like seriously come on

[meiloorun-notthefruit]

Hi! I sent this in about a week ago but I think Tumblr may have eaten it. So, in your Beagle Family Values AU, how does Huey find out that he was kidnapped at birth, his family didn't abandon him, and he's the grand-nephew to Scrooge McDuck? And how does he and everyone else react to this news once it gets out?

Huey finds out seperately from Dewey and Louie. His brothers find out normally, as in canon, with their venture in Castle McDuck; Webby is actually with them because I believe she wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to explore the catacombs/underground tunnels of Castle McDuck - especially the deathtraps! - joy overload be damned. it’s also exploring the tomb of Donald Duck, her hero & that’s a once in a lifetime opportunity - no way Webby’s passing that up

Nope the thing is, Huey - or Red or Cap (he’s not called Huey in this AU) - does not have it easy in this AU. He finds he’s of McDuck heritage when he successfully breaks into the mansion to prove a point  and he’s caught by Beakley; but not before he’s able to slip something into his pocket.

it’s a magic thing and of course it houses the spirit of Duckworth. The Ghost Butler. 

And of course Duckworth is surprised that he is not serving Mr. McDuck in the afterlife, but is instead dealing with one of nephews. He voices this out loud. Huey promptly bursts out laughing, but he sounds a little hysterical and now that he thinks about it -

- He doesn’t want to think about it. So he doesn’t. And now Red has a ghost butler who won’t really listen to him & vice versa and they’re both very sarcastic and Red secretly enjoys this ghost’s company but he won’t admit it – not even under death threat

Ghost Duckworth comes very much in handy later on, but for now, he’s Huey’s solid rock in his twisted world with the Beagles. Huey calls him ghostman at first (lol)

Duckworth doesn’t mention it in the beginning, but when he first appeared before Huey, he thought he was Donald - a very scrappy, unkempt, long haired, and unfed version of Donald - Huey is his spitting image.

#huey duck #duckworth #ducktales 2017 #disney ducks #Beagle Family Values AU #webby vanderquack #dewey duck #louie duck #donald duck #i am SO sorry for the late response - i procrastinated as usual but it's done #IM SO HAPPY YOU ASKED #i've been meaning to reveal Duckworth's role in the AU but i didn't know how so TY!! #meiloorun has an au #SEND IN MORE ASKS #huey is going to get thron thru the ringer alot but at least he's got duckworth #duckworth tells him multiple times he's a McDuck/Duck but Huey's stubborn and he won't listen

[breakingmllc]

Happy Sewing Machine She Works Willingly With Her Hands T Shirt

Props to all the pops that hold us high and make us feel like super heroes happy father’s day shop now send a Happy Sewing Machine She Works Willingly With Her Hands T Shirt gift card to the best pops ever. Ready to bust a move we’re kicking off our new campaign with danceon and dana alexa check it out and then show us how you kick it by creating a video and tagging it with ican and contest more videos. I just really enjoy the process of working with other talented creative people there’s great power in bringing diverse points of view together it can be incredibly stimulating mark parker mondaymuse mambamentality Happy Sewing Machine She Works Willingly With Her Hands T Shirt

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Linda lecours of ottawa ontario is the last unicorn screening tour’s may 2017 prizewinner selected at random from the 10 000 people who signed up as tour members at screenings linda attended the 5 17 2014 show at the silvercity gloucester cinemas as her prize linda pre ordered the expanded deluxe last unicorn graphic novel for herself and the friends she came to the show with plus a Happy Sewing Machine She Works Willingly With Her Hands T Shirt last unicorn blu ray dvd combo that is being shipped to her now the last unicorn was one of the first books I read as a child and introduced me to the fantasy genre it will forever have place in my heart my mom found the vhs version of the film behind the cash register at a drug store we were very excited to see the movie and it has been a staple in our house ever since then being able to see it for the first time on the big screen and meet peter s beagle was really a dream come true it was beautiful congratulations linda we re glad you won but it turns out there s a second winner this month as well the tour s first ever runner up see the way prize selection works is that a set of 50 random numbers is generated that determine which tour members are potential winners each person on the list is called in order until someone actually picks up the phone the callers don t leave messages they just move on this month though someone called back to see who had rung but left no message rachel steponaitis who attended the 5 8 2015 show at the marquis theatre in middlebury vt there was already a winner for the month but if rachel had called back a little sooner it would have been her right plus it was her birthday so the tour decided to give her a prize as well rachel s selection was a haggard s castle fine art print by brittany cox I am so excited that I was chosen as the runner up for the month of may drawing I am a huge fan of the mr peter beagles books last year my sister and I went to the last unicorn showing in middlebury vermont we were very excited to see and meet other fans of mr beagle’s book the last unicorn what was the most amazing part of the evening was that I was able to meet mr beagle before the showing in the nacho bar area my sister and I had a wonderful chat with him and we talked about his work his travels and about his visits to vermont long ago I think mr beagle liked the vermont maple sugar snacks we gave him _ I had a wonderful time at the screening the movie my sister bought a hat and a new copy of the last unicorn novel and she still grins every time she looks at the book. We bring to you some affordable alternatives to your favourite high end makeup products maybelline makeuprevolution loréalparis maccosmetics narscosmetics lakmeindia makeup lagirlcosmetics makeupdupes. Meet callie reiff callie is a quadruple threat having proven herself as a dancer blogger model and most recently an nyc based dj find out more about what makes callie awesome in her short film what can you do be or create share your story with us on instagram youtube or facebook with the hashtag weallcan for a chance to be featured

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