#‘it didn’t last forever but it still matters that the love was there’ the tv show

[galwithalibrarycard]

…..his reward was saying goodbye. Who gave RTD the right to do this to me? *sobbing*

(Defensively adding, it’s not my fault I didn’t have easy access to Doctor Who until very recently ok I know I’m fourteen years late here)

#i finally finished Ten everybody #didn’t cry until the final montage #‘I bet you’re going to have a really great year’ I’m on the FLOOR #doctor who #the ANGST #‘it didn’t last forever but it still matters that the love was there’ the tv show #and now the eternal question- do I skip to the 60th anniversary specials so I can watch the last two as they air #or do I save them for five years from now when I get through Eleven thru Thirteen #you know what else I could do is start from Nine again for an INFINITE loop of doctorrose #part of me finds it very comforting that that infinite loop exists #in a way it ends where it began #timey wimey #my beloved forever-lonely spaceman #😩😩😩😩 #lbr I’m coming home from work tomorrow and starting Eleven I can’t not #I’ve already seen a smattering of it over the years #and even if it gets annoying in the moffat years I still want to try to watch it all

[yok00k]

LOVE.

pairing: pinkcoquette/Sanriolover!oc x bf!jk

genre: fluff, smut

“Sippin' bubbly, feelin' lovely”

Synopsis: you wanted to try the “pink coquette core” on your boyfriend and your poor sleepy dog

warnings: brief SMUT at the end, oc is desperate, clingy, and be waking everyone up @ midnight in the name of coquette core💀, too much love in the air, mention of jk only in his sweatpants, dirty thoughts, (pink bow should have its own warning too imo)

Author’s note: this is my very first work/drabble ^o^ I was mainly inspired by these outta pocket ‘coquette core’ videos on tiktok and it made me think about my man jungkook and my son bam (this is unedited & will probably stay that way, I just write for my own sanity)

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ⋆

Pleaseeee my kookie? I promise it will be quick” I desperately pleaded to him as I straddled him on the couch. I showered his entire head with plenty of my sweet kisses, trying to convince him to do a foolish video that’s quite trending today. The only response I got are his arms snaking around my lower waist while he continues to watch his tv show, Bloodhound.

Early this morning, I was scrolling on my ‘for you’ page and saw a bunch of pretty and pleasing coquette videos. Essentially, pink bows were wrapped around the daintiest [and most random] stuffs including ramen cup noodles, lip oil, or even a rose toy. Do I get the pattern of the coquette trend? Absolutely not. But one certain thing I’m sure of is that I will wrap a tiny baby pink bow around my boyfriend. And it will happen no matter what it takes.

Since offering him with plenty of affection doesn’t seem to work, I had to go down with my last technique. “I will grant you three wishes if you let me do it” I whispered softly to his ear. Immediately, he grabbed the remote to pause the show that he was so focused on .

“Anything?” Jungkook eagerly asked, two round, shining dark eyes gaze upon me as they search for assurance in my words. “Anything” I guarantee, kissing his pretty nose before getting off his lap.

―୨୧⋆ ˚

“koo stay still” I complained while giggling at the sight of him attempting to awkwardly stand still with a flimsy ribbon flimsy bow that looped around his torso and veiny arms.

‘How cute’ I thought.

While trying to capture videos and a couple of photos of him, I can’t help but to flash a grin. Small things like this really make my heart so full. Spending a solid quality time with him, even if it’s doing something nonsense is a memory I will forever value.

“So cute” I mumbled, staring at my phone as I went through the images I took seconds ago.

After a minute or two, Jungkook, who’s still standing, took a loud, deep breath.

“baby are we done yet?” he whined. “Oh my bad kookie” I rushed to turn off my phone to finally give my undivided attention to him. The ribbon tied around him got unfasten by me. Finally, he can breathe freely again.

―୨୧⋆ ˚

It was midnight when out of nowhere, another light bulb popped out of my brain on what (or who) to use the notorious pink decoration for. And in this case, I won’t be able to sleep unless I accomplish the sudden idea. Somehow, I managed to escape from Jungkook’s arms securely holding onto my waist. I quickly grab two pink short strips and head to the living room. The entire apartment was filled by silence and darkness therefore I turned the mini lampshade in the corner, causing Bam to wake up and immediately have his guards up. When he recognized that it was just me, he put his head down on the floor while holding a gaze on me as if he’s questioning ‘why is she bothering me at this hour?’

“I’m sorry for waking you up this hour bammie, mama just needs to do something real quick ok?” I gently explained to the Doberman. It didn’t take me so much time to delicately tie a not-so-tight bow around his both ears. What took time was taking good pictures of him for the reasons that he’s moving too much and doesn't know what on earth is going on.

“Look at mami bam” I whispered, snapping my fingers to get his attention to look in the camera. The poor dog keeps moving his head, figuring out the thing around his ears are for.

“Baby what are you doing?” an abrupt voice spoke behind me.

Shit. Turning my body around, I got a glance at the half lidded eyes filled with pure curiosity. As I examined his tall and muscular physique, I also didn’t fail to notice that he was only wearing a pair of baggy sweatpants. And when I say only, I meant only so don’t ask me for any color of something.

The things that my mind urges me to do.

―୨୧⋆ ˚

I dropped my knees in front of him, left hand wrapped in his upper leg while the other hand softly palmed his growing tent. I looked into his eyes as I gave his clothed cock few pecks, teasing him. Instantly he gave me a nod before throwing his head back, gesturing to me to keep on going.

I wasted no time and pulled down his sweatpants till an angry, hard cock that slapped his bottom abdomen was released from being suffocated. It’s too pretty, so desperate to be touched. Using my small grip, I wrapped my hand around his shaft, directing it right to my drooling mouth. I gifted his pink mushroom tip kitty licks, then proceeded to gradually bob my head up and down greedily to his cock as if he’s my last meal.

“mmh.. so good baby” jungkook shamelessly groans, the cold room is filled with nothing but dirty, loud moans. The noises motivated me to go on and also to do the best I can to make him feel good.

―୨୧⋆ ˚

“___, you still with me?” he asked again, bringing me out in reality from the filthy thoughts that've been going around the back of my head.

“yeah.. I was just trying the ribbon on Bam” I responded breathlessly as my gaze returned to his beautiful eyes. I just smiled, as if I wasn’t imagining an obscene scene with him a few seconds ago. “let’s go to sleep” I announced as I got up from the ground.

and before we sleep, I made sure to turn my little cute scenario into reality.

#jungkook x reader #jungkookxreader #jungkook imagine #jungkook fluff #jungkook fic #jungkook smut #jungkooksmut #hello kitty #jungkook fanfiction #jk smut

[fangirl-dot-com]

Chapter 16.5 - Confessions and Cars 2

I thought I'd post this as a "I'm sorry" chapter lol and I felt like you readers needed some closure.

While writing this, I also realized that I do not know how to write a kiss (due to my non-existent love life)...so if someone has suggestions - I'd gladly take them :D

TAG LIST IS CLOSED

If Arthur thought that visiting you last November before you signed a Red Bull contract would somehow end up with you in his arms, he wouldn’t change anything. Back then, you had been his best friend. And, well, you were still his best friend, but he was hoping that soon (like tonight) you’d be more. 

The end credits of Cars 2 played on the tv in the dark room. Most of the drivers (including but not limited to Lando, Oscar, Lewis, Daniel, Pierre, Charles, and Max) – maybe all of the drivers, who had come to visit you after your release from the hospital, had all left by now. A completed Lego Porsche 9-11 sat on the little counter by the basic coffee machine. 

Now, it was just you, whose eyes were slowly drooping, and Arthur, who hadn’t been able to take his arms off of you since you got to the hospital in the first place.

Arthur, who had held you hand as the doctor put an IV in, because he knew your fear of needles. 

Arthur, who had extra hair ties on his wrist, because he knew you hated to have your hair on your neck right after races, no matter what. 

Arthur, who had called ahead to the front desk to specifically ask for a copy of Cars 2 be delivered to the room.

Arthur, who ubered your exact McDonalds order because you mentioned the craving once while you were still under some strong pain medication. 

Arthur, who was your best friend, but you honestly wanted to be some more. 

Your brain had been running a million miles since your car flipped into the barriers. 

“Are you ready to go to bed yet?” 

But his voice, was able to stop all thoughts. 

You only let out a sigh in response. Arthur didn’t want to rush you, so he just picked the remote up and started your comfort movie over again. 

Yet, you didn’t want to watch the entire thing over again. 

“I was scared.” 

Arthur immediately paused the movie, but kept his eyes in front. 

“I watched the sky cross the opening. And then it just, hurt.” 

His arms tightened around you. Yet, it wasn’t painful. 

“I blacked out for a while. And then when I woke up, all I heard,” you turned to look at the boy in your arms, “was you, calling for me.” 

Tears started forming in both yours and Arthur’s eyes. You shuffled a bit closer to him, getting even closer. 

Arthur took a deep breath. 

Hours before, he was ready to confess it all once you had gotten your first place trophy. He had it all planned out. But then, his world stopped the moment your back tyre clipped the first kerb and then you rolled. 

“Y/n,” he started. This time, his eyes met yours. The TV forgotten in the background. In this moment, Arthur was glad that everyone else had left. 

You waited with baited breath, urging him silently to continue. 

“Well, I had this big plan, for after your race. And now, sitting here, I just know one thing and one thing only.” 

You cocked your head in confusion. Yet, your heart was wanting him to speak the once sentence you’ve wanted to hear for forever. 

“I love you. And when you didn’t respond,” he took your hands in his, “I wanted to die. And I know that might sound extreme, but at that moment, I knew I didn’t want a life without you in it. I also know that we’ve only known each other for a little more than a year but…” 

You decided to interrupt him. “You’ve been my best friend for the majority of that year.” 

He nodded with you, heart a bit dejected since you hadn’t confessed right after. 

“I’ve never had a best friend, before you. And, I also couldn’t imagine a life without you. And Thur…” 

He didn’t let you finish. 

His lips met yours in a fervent kiss. You had to take a second to reel in your thoughts, but you kissed back. Because in this moment, you didn’t want anything to change. A large exhale left your nose. 

You were hungry for a race win. 

Arthur was hungry for your love. 

His hands moved from holding yours to gripping your sides. And well, in true Arthur fashion, he gripped a bit too hard as a hiss left your lips. 

His wide eyes looked right at your with concern. “I am so sorry.” 

And before he could start to ramble in broken French, you pecked his lips. Well, that shut him up. 

“It’s ok,” you whispered, trying to convince him. “And I love you too. Maybe a bit too much.” 

Arthur sighed in relief and pressed his forehead against yours. “You do not know how happy that makes me to hear.” His words were a bit jumbled and his accent was heavy, but you got the gist. 

“What now?” 

Maybe it was your fears and doubts, but if this changed things, you’d rather not continue. Because you’d rather be best friends than lose him. 

Arthur shut his eyes, smiles, and cocked his head. “I was hoping you’d be my girlfriend.” He gave you another sweet kiss, one that you reciprocated with a smile. 

“Well then,” another kiss, “ask me.” A smirk replaced the smile. 

Arthur leaned back and took your hands back into his and sat up straight. “Y/n?” 

You let out a giggle. 

“Will you be my girlfriend?” 

You quickly pressed up against his face. Not in a kiss sense way. More like, you missed and just smashed your face against him. He tried to keep you upwards, but you pushed him down and fell on top of him. Another hiss left your lips, but a laugh covered it. You gently rested your head on his chest as your attention was back to the movie. 

“Yes. I will be your girlfriend Mr. Leclerc.”

Arthur just let you snuggle back into him as he played the movie for a second time. Just as Mater was about to be reunited with Lightning McQueen, a thought suddenly crossed your mind. 

“What are we going to tell Max?”   

April 9, 2024

y/n.89 has posted

y/n.89 through it all, nobody gets me like you do

liked by y/n.nation, f1_fanatic, olliebearman, and 59,294 others

b0x_b0x UM GOOD MORNING? NOT EVEN A HELLO?

maxiel_lover babe, wake up, y/n just did a soft launch

y/n_nation Arthur isn't in the likes...

y/nxarthur I fear this is the end of the friendship?? y/n-on_top why would it be the end... y/nxarthur who knows, Arthur always likes her stuff and comments. maybe he doesn't like the boyfriend

oscarpiastri rue, when was this?

mcLaren_fan even Oscar doesn't know? logansargeant get in line of who doesn't know

olliebearman mother?? pick up your phone please

maxverstappen1 what the kid said, pick the phone up

box_box_official and the plot thickens

change_ur_f-car y/n not picking up her phone and Arthur isn't in the likes, what is this silly season?????

Big Racer

It's Arthur Isn't it??

Little Racer

who snitched

Big Racer

Kid, he looks at you like you hung the sun It doesn't take much sleuthing to find out

Little Racer

Please don't tell It's so new And I don't want to risk it

Big Racer

My lips are sealed But I do have one question Do I need to give you the talk?

Little Racer

MAX!?

TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @agent-curt-mega @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen-ln4 @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @cashtons-wife @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12 @cassie0sstuff @ilove-tswizzle @justme2042 @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @stopeatread @cha-hot @sadg3 @iloveyou3000morgan @s4turnsl0ver @alessioayla @torchbearerkyle @leptitlu @awekbachira @shreks-sugar-daddy @v1naco @stan-josie @mellowarcadefun @badassturtle13 @beskardroids @callisposts @poppyalice2001 @juniper-july19

#arthur leclerc x reader #f1 x driver!reader #platonic grid x reader #arthur leclerc fluff #arthur leclerc imagine #arthur leclerc fanfic #arthur leclerc #arthur leclerc x y/n #f1 imagine #formula 1 x you #f1 x reader

[melobin]

first of all congratulations on hitting 2k !! i’ve never met anyone more deserving <3 love you lots 🫶🏼 can i rq “i missed you” with roommate jungwon please 🫧🪼

i love you forever !!!

જ⁀➴ roommate!jungwon x female reader

cw. smut, unprotected sex, clothed sex, no real power play involved, jungwon cums inside of the reader. wc. 2k

17. "i missed you"

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

the air that surrounded you and jungwon felt tense, you hated it. if there was one thing you always enjoyed, it was your positive relationship with your roommate, but the two of you seemed to throw that down the drain a month ago when you found yourself laying under him in his bed. nails raking down his back as he fucked your senses away.

both of you tried your hardest to avoid bumping into the other, both too afraid to have the conversation or even acknowledge what happened that night. at first jungwon was hurt when he realised you were avoiding him, but he soon realised it was for the best and found himself doing the same back to you.

it was inevitable that your avoidance would be forced to end at some point, it was impossible to avoid someone you lived with for that long. most of your encounters had one of you coughing and looking away whilst the other quickly done whatever it was they needed to do before leaving the room.

the tension between the two of you didn't go unnoticed by friends who visited, you often found yourself being questioned by your friends to why it felt so tense when jungwon entered the room you were in, you'd play it off, trying to convince them they're making things up but you knew the truth.

yet, avoidance or not, you both found yourselves stealing glances at one another when you thought the other wasn't looking. even if you weren’t looking, you could still feel his eyes on you, every second that he was in your vicinity you found yourself craving the feeling of his eyes on you. the way jungwon looked at you made your skin crawl, goosebumps trailing from your wrist to your shoulder. you wanted nothing more than for him to touch you again, take you the same way he did that night, but you worried things were too far gone between the two of you now. 

so as you sat beside him on a friday evening, you tried to suppress your thoughts. usually the two of you would try and have a movie night on friday nights, just something small to relax after a hectic week, having food laid out and whatever movie you could find on netflix playing on the tv. the last time the two of you had a movie night was a month ago, consequently it was the same night the two of you ended up in bed together. it didn’t help to quiet down the thoughts that were in your head as you remembered the way his fingers trailed along your skin on the very couch you were sat on, how his lips gently pressed against your neck as he told you how bad he wanted to fuck you.

you couldn’t help but wonder if he still wanted to, if his true motives for asking you to join him for a movie night was so he could fuck you again. truth be told, you wouldn’t be against it, in fact you’d be all for it. you wanted him, bad. you knew you weren’t going to focus on whatever film he decided to pick, so you let your eyes wander over to jungwon, only to find him already looking at you.

“you okay?” he let his head lean to the left a little as he asked.

“i’m okay”

“you sure? you seem distracted” you gave him a small smile, this was the most engaging conversation the two of you had had in weeks.

“just thinking”

“what about?”

“does it matter?” he narrowed his eyes at your question, an almost small, playful smile tugging at his lips.

“yes” he moved closer to you, thigh pressing against yours “talk to me” you sighed and looked down at where his sweats touched your skin, maybe wearing shorts wasn’t your best idea.

“it’s nothing important”

“will you tell me if i guess?” you watched him carefully as he spoke, only lightly nodding your head at his question “you’re thinking about what happened last time we ended up like this” jungwon leaned closer to you, lips barely touching the skin of your neck “because i am”

you almost folded right away, almost leant completely into his touch and let him have his way with you all over again. almost. you were going to let him have you, but you didn’t want to make it that easy for him.

“avoided me for a month just to try and fuck me again?” he laughed against your neck, lips parting as he pressed open mouthed kisses to your skin.

“you avoided me, i was just giving you space” you let out a shaky breath, finding yourself sinking backwards in the sofa as he nipped at your skin “i’ve spent the past month thinking about how pretty you sounded under me, i needed to be close to you again” you’d never heard jungwon sound so desperate for something before, the last few words he spoke came out as a whine almost. there was no way you were going to be able to keep your guard up. 

“jungwon” your voice was quiet, your fingers found themself in his hair.

“shh” he paused for a second, fingers finding place on the skin of your thigh below your shorts “you don’t know how bad i just want to press you down and fuck you every time you say my name” you were speechless at his words, his teeth dug a little deeper into your neck, you knew there’d be a bruise there tomorrow.

“so do it” it was all he needed, you caved quicker than you wanted to but you couldn’t help it, nothing felt better than the way he lifted his head from your neck and kissed you. the kiss was full of tongue, saliva and desperation. he pushed you further down against the sofa, your head resting against the arm of it. 

the kiss didn’t break as his fingers trailed along the skin of your thighs, he groaned once he settled himself between your legs, cock hanging lose in his sweats, pressing against your covered cunt. he ground himself down against you, hands finding place on your hips as your legs wrapped around his waist. both of you found yourselves wanting to be as close as possible to the other, any space was too much space. if you could crawl into his skin and live in there, at this point you would. his fingers snuck under the fabric of your shirt, digging into your skin as he ground himself down against you. he broke the kiss, letting his lips pretty open mouthed kisses along your skin, his mouth felt hot against you.

“need you” he panted just below your ear, there was a slight whiny tone to his voice as he spoke “need you so bad. been too long” 

“take me wonnie, please” he groaned, nails pressing into your skin. neither of you had the patience to get undressed, instead he found himself shoving down his sweats until his cock was out, fingers pushing aside the material of your shorts so he could press himself against you. 

jungwon felt painfully hard, he’d spent the first twenty minutes of the movie working himself up, thinking about you. there had been countless nights in the past few weeks where jungwon found himself wide awake late at night, laying in his bed with his hand closed around his cock, pumping it as he desperately tried to mimic the way your warm cunt felt around him. nothing compared to how you felt, nothing compared to you. you brought jungwon a feeling he had never felt with anyone else and he wanted more.

and now he was finally getting more. he felt his head spin when he pressed the tip of his cock against your clit, dragging it down to your sopping hole. you were so inviting, it felt almost as if you were sucking him inside of you. the head of his cock broke into you, pushing into your warmth slowly. jungwon paced himself, fearing that if he moved too quickly he’d spill himself inside of you right away. he didn’t want that, he wanted to savour the feeling of you, wanted to keep you wrapped around him for as long as possible, not being sure when he’d finally get you to himself again.

jungwon moaned when he pressed the rest of himself inside of you, cock twitching as your walls tightened around him. he lifted his head from your neck to look at you, eyes shaking as he watched the way your lips parted and you whimpered at the intrusion of his cock. your arm wrapped around his shoulder, gripping his shirt as your other hand went to his hair. 

“god” he groaned as you pulled on his hair “i missed you” at his words, you pulled him down to kiss you, moving your own hips up in order to get him to move. you couldn’t stand him being inside of you without fucking you into the sofa beneath you, too desperate to feel him come undone inside of you again.

“wonnie” your voice broke against his lips, tone filled with a whined as he rolled his hips against yours, cock leaving you just to enter you again. he filled you up so well, thick cock stretching you out, leaving you aching to feel him fill you up all over again each time he pulled out.

you tried to keep the kiss going but it felt impossible, as his pace increased, so did the frequency of your moans. it wasn’t long before jungwon found himself burying his head in your neck, whining against the flesh as he fucked you. each time he withdrew his cock from you and pushed it back it he felt the lace of your panties drag against the side of his cock, it only made things more intense for him. jungwon was absolutely not going to last, especially not when he heard you say his name.

“jungwon” his name left you in a whine “fill me up, please” it was all he really needed to hear. jungwon found himself kneeling up between your legs, holding your thighs apart as he fucked you harder. hair falling over his eyes and bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he let his eyes focus on the way your cunt swallowed his cock. you left him glistening in your slick with each thrust, a gentle but filthy sound came from where the two of you were connecting. he wanted to fill you with him cum so bad, claim you as he fucked you. 

he dropped one hand to your clit, thumb pressing against the drenched, swollen bud as he fucked you closer to your orgasm. he didn’t want to finish first but he knew he was going to. with that way you were clamping around his cock and moaning so sweetly for him, he knew he was done for. he was too drained to hold it back, he needed you to feel what you done to him, needed you to feel his cum spill deep inside of you.

jungwon let out one of the prettiest moans you had ever heard when he came, hips still moving against yours, thumb still rubbing careless circles against your clit as he tried to drive you towards your own orgasm. your name fell from him as he released inside of you, the overstimulation only causing him to whine after.

“cum around my cock” he let his eyes flick to your face. your eyes were closed, lips swollen and parted, he was sure you had never looked so pretty “come on baby” you let out a noise that fell somewhere between the line of a moan and a whine as you felt your orgasm hit you, body shaking as you gripped the seat of the sofa under you, probably leaving deep scratch marks behind.

“jungwon, jungw-oh my god” was all that left you, your voice breaking as he fucked you through your orgasm, hips finally stilling once he was sure you were finished. your eyes struggled to adjust to the light in the room when you opened them, yet you still found jungwon looking down at you, cock still resting inside of you. he leaned over you, hands pressing against the sofa either side of your head before leaning down to kiss you softly.

“you’re not going to avoid me this time, right?” you shook your head “good, we should do this more often”.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

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#enhypen smut #jungwon smut #✧ starrypen #✧ melody answers

[thesuperiorrobin]

𝐒𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 ~

Pairing: Damian Wayne x reader

Word count: 1.5k

Warning: Angsty?? Hurt with little/to no comfort maybe? Happy ending???? Not proofread

Damian always made promises to you and he fulfills them no matter the cost. He just wants to see you happy. He would make them when he had to go away for a few days, sometimes weeks, for a mission.

“Promises you’ll come back?” You would always ask.

He would always reply the same—his pinky stretched out towards you, a soft reassuring smile painting his lips “to you? No matter the cost beloved” a promise that was sealed with pinkies linked together and lips pressed softly against one another.

Have you ever loved someone so much that you plan your whole future together? With the other person going along and adding their own details to your make believe shared life?

That was you two, sharing those thoughts under the stars, holding each other in a comforting manner.

Surprisingly—Damian thought of the perfect wedding, a combination of both cultures, both big families together in one big room—dancing, laughing and chatting up a storm over the loud music that plays. The thought of having your first dance together as a married couple made him feel—ecstatic. Yeah, a perfect wedding for both of you.

What was a happy thought of him planning a beautiful day turned sour.

Because the day of the funeral was held about five days after his death, on the property that belonged to Bruce Wayne, right next to his grandparents. A private invent that was considered a nightmare.

Yet even when you're standing right in front of the grave, with his name engraved into it, you still think it’s just some horrible nightmare, one that you should have woken up to the moment you heard the news. That day it was cloudy, as if the universe had known when it had lost another soul, grieving with you in the process. That’s the only thing you could remember, everything else was much of a blur, the memorial, his burial—all of it until this very moment.

You find yourself alone, everyone else gone—they don’t have the heart to pull you away after giving their condolence. The tears are no more, your cheeks stain with them . There’s a painful feeling in your heart as your eyes follow the curves of his name on the stone:

In loving memory of our lovely son, Damian Al Ghul Wayne.

it’s hurts to much and all you could do is stare at the dirt. The sigh you let out is shaky—you’re trembling in your spot.

As more time passed, the more the sky got darker and darker with Grey clouds—the sound of soft thunder striking down followed by the wisp of rain soon after. It’s not long for the rain to thicken. But you didn’t budge, you couldn’t—cause if you did you wouldn’t have the heart to come back, not wanted to bear the pain anymore. The rain leaked through your coat at some point, wetting your clothes underneath as it sticks to your body along with your hair, wet down and sticking to your neck, cheeks and forehead.

You could hear the sound of heavy footsteps behind you—then a warm heavy hand was placed on your shoulder. The rain seems to stop and when you look up and there’s an umbrella placed over your head, a hand holding the curved handle. Your eyes up the hand and arm of the person. There, Bruce stands beside you with tired red eyes and a sadden smile, ones that seemed forced.

“Let’s get you inside with the others” you wanted to say no, but the words wouldn’t leave your mouth as his arm finds itself behind your back as he leads you away from your loved ones grave. You take one last look at his grave, before it’s gone for good.

It only took one look for him to understand, nodding as you leave the older man’s side.

Alfred and Titus follow you closely. They stand by your side waiting for you to open his door, and once you do they wait until you enter it first.

Damian's bedroom has never been so…quiet.

Usually when you come over there’s normally the soft sound of his TV or his favorite music playing in the background. But there’s nothing. His room is no longer bright, the only thing keeping it dim was the light from outside. Beds undone, a couple of his clothes are scattered everywhere, and his desk is covered in his painting materials.

It's like time had stopped all together in his room. It’s funny because he was never the type to be a messy person, he probably didn’t have time before he was sent away.

Titus, that sweet big dog, rubs his nose up against your palm—whining as he does so. You make your way up against his nose and up his head—gently scratching it as Alfred jumps up into your arms. You catch him with ease. The big Great Dane leaves your side for a moment and you don’t think much of it. With the cat still in your arms, you’re scanning the quiet cold room.

Up until your eyes land on a spot in his room—the walls filled with nothing but pictures. A closer look and it’s pictures of you and him—with a handful of them also being him with his family or his pets. Tears threaten to spill once more—you try to hold them back.

But you're unsuccessful.

A few of them fall down the fat of your cheeks. Every picture holds a memory. Ones you and him held dear in your hearts. Something hits the back of your leg and you let out a small ‘ow’. Alfred jumps out your arms as you look down, eyes blurry as you blink the tears away. Titus stands below you right by your feet with a thick book in his mouth. The Great Dane nudges right up against the back of your thigh. Titus was such a smart dog, maybe smarter than other dogs around the world.

He does it one more time until you take the book out of his mouth sniffling away your tears as you do so, clearing them up with the somewhat wet sleeve of your coat, very faint teeth marks cover the back and front of it. He wants you to open it, that’s what you think and it’s probably right. You find yourself sitting on the ground, back up against the wall with your legs crossed over one another. The big dog lays beside you, head on the fat of your thigh while the cat finds its place on top of Damian’s bed.

You’re hesitant to open it and you don’t know why. Few minutes of silence and fighting with yourself about it—with a single sigh you open it. The first page is blank but the next one and the following aren’t. It was his sketchbook. One that he would try to hide from you because it would make him embarrassed if you had ever laid your eyes on it. His words not yours. Damian was amazing when he came to his artistic side no doubt about it.

Every page filled with sketches, every space taken up by them and Arabic language beautifully written on the corners of most pages. It wasn’t a surprise when you saw your reflection on paper. Actually, most of them were of you. Others might find it weird, but to you it was something that made your heart pound and your face feel warm. Maybe that’s why he didn’t want you to see it.

Flipping the page one last time, you find a small paper folded in half in the small crease of the book. You think it’s another drawing, so imagine your surprise when you unfold it and it's written later.

Addressed to you from Damian. You recognize his hand writing with every cursive on every line.

‘I’m never good with affection, I would like to apologize in advance despite being together for two years’ you find yourself smiling. Something you haven’t done in days ‘I’m not good with words either, so I hope you find this letter to be of use. Grayson told me I should do something for our third year anniversary—seeing as we both haven’t done anything special for the two previous years. With you being my first I, myself, am not very good at any of this and you know that. But I’ll try for you. Remember, not that long ago when we would talk about our future together under the bright stars? It’s a little ‘sappy’ as Todd would put it but I hope it becomes true in the near future. Grayson and Drake told me not to worry about it as much, because they are both ‘sure’—hinting at our future like they know something. And I think they do. Secretly I know Grayson is already planning a wedding. It was the first thing he did when I told him about you. He cried when he found out he was the first to know, but don’t tell him I told you. Words can’t describe how much you truly mean to me, they can’t describe how much I…..’

that’s where it ends. He never finished the letter. You wanted to yell at the letter, but doing so would make you look like you’ve lost your mind. Not that you have already. All you could was cry—trying your best to hold back loud sobs but they came out choked out instead. The letter is covered in droplets of your fallen tears as you crumble it under your grip, holding it close to your chest.

The book is long forgotten.

Maybe in a different life things could be better for the both of you.

Schools literally start’s TOMORROW 😭

Buts it’s my last year, graduate of 2024😋 (I’m a senior without a drivers license 😞)

#damian al ghul #damian wayne #damian wayne x reader #damian x reader #robin x reader #damian al ghul x reader #damian scenarios #damian wayne x you

[thisismeracing]

CHARLES LECLERC MASTERLIST

✦ CHARLES LECLERC ▶ CL16

All my Charles posts here

▸ main masterlist | patreon guide ▸ taglist ▸ who I write for & guidelines ▸ subscribe to Patreon for exclusive content ▸ tip me on ko-fi

KEYS: s: smut f: fluff a: angst ✷: Patreon exclusive

― ✦ SOCIAL MEDIA AU

this is the last time I ever call you babe (a): It’s been a little over a year since Y/n and Charles Leclerc ended their relationship, and Y/n went radio silent from everywhere…until the Grand Prix day. They say revenge is a dish better served cold, right?

everything has changed (f): Y/n, a famous singer, drops a song that is more like a letter confessing her feelings, and some fans are convinced it’s about F1 golden boy Charles Leclerc.

his pretty girl (f) : Fans start to notice Charles around an influencer’s profile and it's easy to put two and two together to discover just how in love he is.

match winners (f): After mentioning in an interview that she roots for Charles Leclerc, Yn is surprised with a new follower who happens to show up at one of her tennis matches.

sunshine (f): In which Charles starts dating an earthy/spiritual girl who just loves nature and good energy.

my boyfriend Marc (f): In which Yn always refers to her secret boyfriend as Marc and fans take forever to put the pieces together and realize that many of the names she used were actually Charles Leclerc’s middle names.

his protector (f): Yn is a comedian, who happens to date the f1 driver Charles Leclerc and who loves to joke around about how horrendous Ferrari is, but beware: she is the only one who can laugh at her boyfriend’s disastrous races. No one pokes fun at Charles in front of her, especially not on live TV.

all because I liked a boy (a): Yn fell in love with Charles and secretly dated him for almost a year. She didn’t consider, however, how fans would react seeing they used to love and still stan Charles’ past relationship. What happens when their hidden love gets out in the open? ● part 2 here

just like in the movies (f): You’re shooting a new movie about racing cars, but you did not expect to get a racing heart from a certain driver. Or the one where they met at a racing track and fell in love.

king of manifesting (f): You’ve been secretly dating Charles for a while, but fans can’t believe it when the rumors start to go around. What do you mean a vroom-vroom Ferrari guy is dating their idol?

a real goal getter (f): When fans see Charles at one of your soccer matches, they start speculating what he is doing at a stadium he’s never been to, talking to a guy he never talked with (who happens to be your best friend). When they discover you’re together, they agree you’re the best player, but Charles is the goal scorer for landing someone as amazing as you. 

― ✦ BLURBS

you betrayed me (a)

Overprotective bf (f)

― ✦ REGULAR IMAGINES

honeymoon stunts (s): Charles and Yn just got married, and although they know too much about one another, there’s always something new to discover together, such as Charles’ new breeding kink.

the (un)lucky one (f): Charles and Yn have a history back from when he was at alfa romeo, Yn used to be his PR assistant, and they were close to best friends. Now, years later, they are still friends, but Yn is Carlos’ assistant now, and she can help but root for her new friend and boss. Meanwhile, Charles is having trouble with no longer having her undying support all the time. He’s been through an unlucky season on the speedway, will he be unlucky in love too? 

anything you want (s)✷: After getting hit by a wave of bad luck, Yn takes matters into her own hands to make her boyfriend feel a bit better about his situation. Sometimes all you need to feel brand new is a two-day vacation full of sex by the fire and words of affirmation.

love bites (a)✷: It is believed that during the Halloween season, cursed souls and entities come out to play. As it happens, some of them can come uninvited, but things get a lot easier for the dark side when people like Yn are challenged by her friends to go beyond the safety of the town and into the woods looking for a cursed church. One wouldn’t want to be near to witness humans discover history they’re not supposed to.

charlieverse (f): When Yn decided to go to a Halloween party with her best friend, Charles Leclerc, she did not consider that some of the fantasies would be so close to reality that they would terrify her. But one thing Yn had no idea about too, was Charles’ feelings for her. All Hallow’s Eve is not the most romantic scenario to confess your feelings, but it might be just the perfect one for them.

― ✦ HEADCANONS

♡ charles dating a korean girl

©thisismeracing do not copy, steal, or translate my work. do not repost on a different media platform.

#cl16 #charles leclerc #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #f1 fandom #formula one imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #op: masterlists

[ninzied]

forever and

a firstprince new year ficlet. ~1k.

Alex loses him again, ten minutes till midnight.

The party has been, as Pez put it, positively smashing—hard to top last year’s but I had the utmost faith in dear Alex, well done.

Alex hasn’t been paying attention, because outside of the circle formed by Henry’s arms on his shoulders and Alex’s hands on the dip of his waist, he hasn’t really needed to know.

Now, he takes it all in, the dancing snapshots of bodies beneath the strobe lights, the bass thumping so thickly he can feel it in his sternum, and he registers none of it because none of it matters when he doesn’t know where the hell Henry’s gone.

“Have you seen my boyfriend?” he demands of no fewer than five people—Nora, Pez and June count as one—but nobody knows, or nobody knows what he’s even asking because most of them just grin and bob their heads even more energetically than before.

He hasn’t texted. He’s not in the bathroom, and he’s not at the bar—Alex has checked both places twice. He’s starting to feel panicked in a way that he hasn’t in a long time, worried that he’s done something wrong, that he’s hurt Henry in some way again without knowing.

The not knowing is the worst part. Not that he’d ever hurt Henry on purpose, but that he could still do it now and not even realize is so unbearable he might just throw up.

The thing is that Henry had looked happy. And Alex had teased him mercilessly for it (“It doesn’t feel like His Royal Highness hates New Year’s,” murmured into Henry’s ear as Alex pressed their lower bodies together), which Henry had flushed over while also setting his jaw and pulling Alex firmly in for a kiss, probably at least in part to shut him up already.

Alex thinks back to just moments ago, before he’d somehow lost track of Henry. There’d been champagne, which they’d forgotten somewhere in favor of dancing with Bea, a conversation with some TV actor Alex only vaguely recognized and couldn’t find a polite way to get rid of, and then…then what? He’d turned around and Henry had vanished.

He doesn’t fully mean to, but he ends up retracing his steps all the way back to this time last year.

The snow is not as densely packed underfoot as he shivers his way into the garden. A year ago now, he’d followed the same path to Henry, gazed at him beneath the linden tree, and felt so many things he didn’t know how to name or make sense of until Henry kissed him and made the world go blessedly still.

If Henry is there, he decides now, determination doubling his pace, he’s going to grab his beautiful face with both hands and kiss him like 1. there’s no tomorrow, and also like 2. there’s only tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, ahead.

Henry isn’t there.

Alex’s footprints are the only trail left in the snow, glistening in technicolor as the fireworks start up overhead, and fuck, fuck, he’s missed the whole countdown.

He’s missed it with Henry. Kissing him at midnight like they were meant to this year, without the uncertainty and miserable months of radio silence that followed. This was supposed to be a new beginning for them; he had plans, okay, and it’s—well, it’s kind of their anniversary in a way, and now he won’t remember it the way that he wanted to, he—

“Alex!”

He turns, and the man that Alex can only think about in terms of forever now is jogging toward him, all flushed from the cold but smiling.

“There you are,” says Henry, a little short of breath as he comes to a stop and reaches for Alex’s hand. His touch sends a shock of warmth through what feels like Alex’s whole being. Suddenly, Alex can breathe again. “You’re freezing, love. Come here.”

Alex opens his mouth to protest, because as relieved as he is that Henry is here and acting as though all is well, he’s also kind of mad about it.

But yeah, he’s pretty cold too, so he steps willingly into Henry’s arms, and—well, there’s no other place he’d rather be mad about not being ten minutes sooner.

And then Henry leans in, and kisses him so sweetly that Alex is really not mad at all anymore.

“Next year,” says Henry, a little entreatingly, “maybe consider not inviting Hunter if you can help it? He just trapped me at coat check for what felt like ages. I barely made it out with my life.”

Alex never lets a good opportunity to pick on Hunter go to waste, but he decides to let this one slide. “Why were you at coat check?” he wants to know.

“I needed to get something,” says Henry, like it’s obvious.

“But—you don’t have your coat,” says Alex, like it’s not obvious at all.

“You don’t miss a thing,” Henry murmurs, all warmth and affection as he pulls Alex close. Something round and hard presses against Alex’s thigh, and oh. He would know that shape anywhere, because it matches the box inside his own jacket. “Guess again.”

“Baby,” says Alex, and if his voice cracks a little because he’s smiling so hard, well, what about it? “Is that a rock in your pocket, or do you really, really not hate New Year’s?”

“I just really, really love you,” counters Henry. “Happy anniversary, darling,” and he kisses Alex, just a few perfect minutes past midnight, under the linden tree, under the stars, both of them thinking of only forever.

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrbsource #rwrb fic #firstprince #firstprince fic #rwrb fanfic #firstprince fanfic #usernuria #userveronika #iuserzoe #chrissiewatts #canon au in that i sped up the timeline a little

[trips2saturn]

towl spoilers below!!!!!!!!!

⬇️

⬇️

⬇️

late briefing but it’s here and that’s what matters!!!!! let’s get into this episode! ❤️‍🔥

this episode was amazing. no notes. angst fuels me, so keep it coming in episode four along with some loving intimacy! 🤝

michonne is the most clever, headstrong, charismatic, fearless powerhouse of a woman in the entirety of twdu. there is no situation nor circumstance that she cannot handle. no matter the time, skill, or hardship that woman is going to do whatever she fucking wants. she’s such an admirable character, and yes this is just a fictional show but she means so much to me. tv mom forever and ever and ever. my lovebug!!!! 🫶🏼

rick… my og lovebug. his selfless, tender hearted yet courageous and dangerous personality is sooo missed recently because of these losers who love to keep playing hide the donkey. he’s been so beaten down and forced into the caged mindset, also known as stockholm syndrome. it hurts so much to see it affect him so deeply, especially in this episode. we truly get to understand just how horrified he is of losing michonne, losing judith, losing their home. it’s so layered that he’s come to the conclusion that he has to do whatever it takes to protect his wife and their children (judith for now until further notice). even going as far as pretending to break michonne’s heart just to get her to go back home for the sake of a safe and secured future. and as much as it rips his entire psyche into shreds, this man is a family man. his priority in life is to protect the ones that he loves by all means necessary.

and thank fucking HEAVENS that despite their years apart, michonne knows her husband like the back of her palm and can read him like a book!!! every word that poured out of his mouth was utter bullshit merely for safety purposes and i’m soooo glad that she understood that without even having to retaliate verbally.

she retaliated by throwing them out of a moving chopper LMAOOO 😭 MY GIRL, MY LEADING LADY!!!!!! CAN WE MAKE SOME NOISE FOR THE CRAZIEST CHARACTER IN THE ROOM. thank youuuuuu! i digress.

“we needed a timeout” shdjshdhsjdjs well yes! please knock some sense into your traumatized husband. he needs his wife!!!

moving forward. the phones!!!! “believe a little bit longer”!!!!! CARL MENTION!!!!!!??????!!!!! 😨🫨🥺☹️😖 rick not mentioning any names for three years and never liking any drawings of his son because they could never be depicted perfectly 😣😣😣 try not to cry challenge [FAILED]. punching me in the gut would hurt less. still hoping for a random chandler cameo too :D

i know that what rick said was absolutely fake and futile but as a fierce michonne lover… HER FACE AS HE SPOKE??? if we don’t see him loving on her endlessly in episode four… i might throw myself out of a moving helicopter.

one hundred percent positive that they’ll be pouring bisquick and making pancakes next episode. i’m sat.

thorne is a D. not an A. she’s a piece of shit and will be dealt with eventually. michonne will handle any light work. i rest my case.

jadis is a sexual predator and a grade-A loser with a shit haircut. i almost pissed myself laughing when rick said that. he’s been waiting and so have i!!!! �� but yeah she sucks. die asap.

RICHONNE KISS IN THE WOODS AFTER BEING A POWERHOUSE COUPLE. 🥹 reminded me so much of when they took those cars and drove into that herd of walkers. ugh. please put their entire love story into the louvre.

last but not least because i’m tired — unsure what beale is up to. he’s so sketchy, and also SO CONFUSED about rick supposedly having a briefing with him about being promoted?! NO. no thanks we didn’t ask for him to ever be a leader nor get kidnapped in the first place!!!! scared to see what lies ahead for the next three episodes :(((((

in conclusion, michonne is the most beautiful angel to walk the earth. she looked so hot in every single scene. episode three is hands down my favorite episode yet, despite the hardship. again, angst fuels me. so excited to see what’s in store next week, and every other week after that!!!! it’s only up from here. ❤️‍🔥⬆️

okay that’s it. hope everyone enjoyed the episode!!!! this is such a wild ride, and i’m happy to have my television parents back on my screen, making things happen again. 🌟🔥

#trips talks #towl spoilers #the ones who live #the walking dead #rick grimes #richonne #michonne grimes #towl

[thetriplets3]

hello, may i please request a fic where the reader is admiring Matt's facial hair? tysm my friend ♡

❁ smitten ❁

We’re laying under your covers watching whatever movie you ended up choosing, since I picked last time. You lie slightly propped up against your bed frame, watching the movie intently as I lie on my side with my head resting on your arm. I find myself being more fascinated by you rather than the movie. I lie there admiring every inch of your face, most importantly your stubble.

I’ve never been a fan of stubble, but you’ve changed my mind; you can make anything look good. It suits you so perfectly, enhancing your already perfect bone structure. Something about you having facial hair makes you look so much older and mature, it just makes my heart swell. I could look at you forever. Your eyes still haven’t left the tv, you’re too focused on the movie that I couldn’t care less about because I have you to look at. You are far more fascinating than any movie.

“It’s creepy to stare at someone for this long, ya know” You say with a smirk on your face.

My cheeks grow pink with embarrassment as I shift my attention to the tv letting out a small “Oh, uh, sorry”.

You pause the movie, sensing a shift in my energy. “Hey, I was just joking, you know I don’t care if you stare, it doesn't bother me,” you say as you rub your thumb over my shoulder, your voice filled with sweetness and concern that you’ve upset me.

I continue to stare at the tv, still a little embarrassed to make eye contact, “I know, it’s- it’s fine.”

“Can you look at me please? I didn’t mean to make you feel embarrassed. What’s on your mind? What made you zoned out earlier?” you ask as you gently grab my face to get me to look at you.

“You. I was just admiring your facial hair. I think it looks really good on you. I like the way it defines your features, you look older in a good way, more mature. It makes you even more attractive. I didn't think you could get more attractive but you did. I don’t know it’s silly but I just like looking at you, you make my heart flutter,” I quietly say, fiddling with the drawstrings on your hoodie.

“I love that even after a year and a half of being together I still give you butterflies. You give me butterflies too, everytime I look at you,” you say with love dripping from your voice.

I finally make eye contact with you and give you a shy smile. The eye contact doesn’t last long as my eyes drift to your facial hair. I bring my hand up to rub my thumb against it. I can’t help but smile as I do so, you make my heart feel full.

“I think facial hair is my favorite look on you, it suits you so well. God, I love you so much my heart is doing back flips right now,” I gush.

“I guess I can keep it for a little longer knowing how much you love it but I’m shaving it once I can’t stand it” you say.

“You’ve got a deal. You better get used to me staring at you more often. It's not my fault you look good no matter what,” I say as you pull me in closer for a kiss.

Taglist:

@im-a-matt-girl @stxrniqlo @iluvmatt @antisocialties

#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader

[bibbykins]

Moonlight Reign Ch. 3

A/N: here's a continuation of the pain lol hopefully next update will come quicker and I hope you all enjoy! Be warned here and the series as a whole is pretty heavy emotionally, so heed all warnings and put yourself first! Also as usual shoutout to my lovely beta reader @rapline-heaux who read this forever ago lol ily

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Yandere! Mafia! BTS x Reader

Words: 5.0k

Warnings: crime, sensory flashbacks, trauma, unhealthy relationships, yandere behavior, pining, violence, past abuse, past neglect/academic neglect, talk of stitches, wound description, panic attack, acrylic nail slips on a keyboard but doesn't break, brief suicidal thought, lip biting until it bleeds, abandonment by male parental guardian, lots of crying

Silence threaded into the air, making it that much harder to breathe as Jungkook’s hands limply slid from you and back to his sides. The bubble of ignorance you shrouded each other in, now effectively popped as the world was de-muffled as your hands were now clasped in front of you. Tears welled in the back of your eyes, stinging more than usual, and no matter how much you blinked to keep them at bay they just came back. Nothing could shroud the horror that was your reality. 

It’s funny, really, you remember learning about how to create a safe space for your patients in college. You learned how important it was for children to feel safe in development. You studied all the reasons safety was so vital to survival, and yet, you never once felt safe growing up. It was only in this moment you realized you had found your safe place. 

It was only as you watched the weekly dinners, cramming sessions, and mutually intoxicated affection go up in smoke that you realized you had just lost it. Everything you never thought you could have was in flames, and one would think you would be used to the feeling of your life on fire by now, but your throat still burned with the agony of it all, no matter how familiar the taste was on your tongue. 

Hurt flooded your eyes along with tears that Jungkook wanted nothing more than to gently brush away. But he knew shouldn’t, and now more than ever, he couldn’t. He didn’t know how you knew what it meant to be the head of Bangtan, and it was so hard for him to care as your fear and sorrow burnt a hole in his heart in the very space he kept the friendship you both shared. The gaping wound was only furthered by how much it took over his being. You both cared about each other much, much, more than you both let on to one another properly, and it’s only now he’s regretting that with his entire being. 

Finally, he couldn’t bear to look at you anymore, not when he was part of the reason you were looking at him like that. He looked at the beaten faux hardwood of your apartment and could feel an ache when he noticed the scratch from when he helped rearrange your living room furniture. Truly, he’d give anything to go back to that day, or even to when he got here so he could turn off the TV and delay the inevitable. 

He didn’t even get a chance to try and pretend there was no reason to be scared. He wanted so badly to pretend he was a sugar baby who has no idea who he was dating, but he just couldn’t. You both have lied to each other enough to last a lifetime, and he knew it was too late. What you both had has already slipped through his fingers before he even had a chance to try and catch it.

You exhaled a shaky breath, and he looked at you again. There was not even a semblance of hope on his face, and it made the part of you he revived die all over again, “...should probably go, huh?” Your voice was too mangled for Jungkook to hear the first part of what you said, but it certainly didn’t take a genius to figure it out. 

Your form grew blurry as tears clouded his vision, preventing him from committing your feature to his memory properly before it was too late, “You’re right.” He settled solemnly.

Neither yours nor his tears were helped when you each noticed the other was crying. You wanted so badly to be angry at him for lying to you, but you weren’t nearly that much of a hypocrite. You both used the other as an escape from the ugliness of reality. Around Jungkook you were nothing but his friend and vice versa. It was a sweet escape, a nice vacation, but certainly nothing more than that, not anymore. 

You had to figure out if you should disappear or if you could survive with simply moving out of the building. You had phone calls to old contacts to make, you had a million and one things to figure out, a million and one pieces to move and yet you threw your arms around the man in front of you. 

Jungkook wasted no time in holding you to him with an intensity you’d never felt before. No one had ever wanted to keep you this badly, and you didn’t know what to do other than ball your fists around his shirt and silently cry into his shoulder. Your arms tightened around his neck as you counted down the mere minutes before he also figured out who you were. You knew he would leave you, replay each moment leading up to this, and figure out who you were talking to. You just didn’t know what he would do with that information. You didn’t even know for sure how much it meant to him, but it was so hard to focus when his body shook against yours with a silent sob that you echoed with ease. Maybe, just maybe, he'd be gracious enough to look the other way for just a little bit so you could touch the bedroom wall you both shared and pretend it wasn’t there tonight.

You don’t know how long you stayed wrapped up in each other’s arms, soaking in the finality of the embrace, bones heavy with melancholy. You only remembered the look you gave one another, filled to the brim with tears, longing, and an insincere hatred of everything beyond the four walls of your apartment. Slowly, you leaned up and pressed a quivering kiss to his cheek. 

A harsh breath left Jungkook and you could feel his tears on your lips when you pulled away, “Close your eyes.” He pleaded, voice barely above a whisper, “I don’t want you to see me leave you.” The plea for him to not leave was on the tip of your tongue, but you choked it down with another cry.

You nodded, and he granted you one last smile before you let your wet lashes touch each other. Your world was shrouded in darkness and part of you knew it would remain this way long after you opened them to an empty apartment. Still, you squeezed your eyes shut, not too keen on seeing Jungkook leave you either. You swallowed back a cry when he pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of your lips as you counted the steps he took to your door. Your body quaked when you could feel him giving you one final look. Your lips struggled to give him one more smile, and then the door closed. 

Your knees hit the floor with no one there to catch you anymore. The shock waves slid up your thigh as you cried into your hands, wondering how many people were going to leave you before you stopped letting them in.

—

“Let go of me, please,” It was the first time you had heard your father say please, and it was one of the last things you would hear him say. Byungyeol looked at you, eyes filled with a mix of pity and sorrow that you couldn’t decipher if it was for you or the empire that lay in ashes. Regardless, it was an order and you weren’t raised to disobey, so you finally relented and released his torso from your arms with a trembling lip and a river that flowed freely from your eyes. The last time you cried in front of him like this had been when your age was in the single digits, but he didn’t patronize you this time– he no longer had any reason to. 

“I can’t… You can’t… Please, stay with me.” You begged, very becoming of the heir to nothing as you clung to the last person who could prove you were even alive before today, “I’m so scared of being alone-” You sobbed into your hands as you both sat in a car outside of a restaurant owned by a family friend. You had nothing but a backpack with cash and two days worth of clothing, but your biggest fear was leaving this car. 

“Daughter.” His voice commanded, and you straightened up. You looked at him, eyes bleary and wide, still a puppet waiting for orders. He regarded you with a sharp glare, “We do not show fear.” His tone was finite, it alway was. He always spoke in simple commands, because even now, he didn’t expect you to say anything in response.

However, you sniffled, “I am scared.” You admitted, the closest you’d gotten to defiance in over a decade, “I can’t do this alone.” 

“And yet, you will.” His voice was the same amount of cold it had always been, but it burned you nonetheless, “You must.” Something in his voice tapered off that made you look at him a little closer. He looked so… old. You could see the years in his eyes and in the deep rivets that framed his frown, and it made something in your chest twist. 

“Should’ve left me with them, huh?” You asked, and he looked at you with confusion, “Should’ve never taken me in, I bet?” You tried to ask again, but he couldn’t understand you. It was often hard to understand if you were asking if that’s how he felt or if you were admitting that’s how you felt. You were never taught how to make it clear, after all. No one ever cared for your words. 

Instead of prying or correcting you, he shook his head. His hand on your head quieted you. “I love you,” He whispered, kissing the top of your head, and the notion made your body freeze. The feeling was foreign, and the action was something that was usually reserved for holidays, “I rarely ever say it, but know that I do, my daughter,” He said softly, but he opened your door all the same, not wanting to entertain this goodbye for any longer, “We will see each other again, I promise, give me three years and we’ll be together again, a normal family.” 

—

You knew now it had all been nothing but a lie to get you out of the car so he could watch you grow smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror until you dissolved into nothing but a memory. You didn't think your father was even really capable of love in the first place. You’d give anything at the moment to be that cold, but you could certainly fake it. You let in a shaky breath as you looked to your fingertips, your ring one brushing along the scratch on the floor you were not looking forward to letting your security deposit go to. Brushing away the tears away from the streaks that have undoubtedly dried on already, you took one last moment to be upset, to be human, before you stood to pick up your phone. 

The line only rang once before it clicked, “Thank you for calling The Rose Palace, how can I help you?” A sweet feminine voice hardly touched with the age she was filled your ears.

“Eunhwa?” You breathed, wanting more than anything to feel her maternal embrace but settling for the concern in her voice.

“Y/n? Is everything okay?” Your eyes fluttered closed when your one last tie to your previous life spoke.

“No.” Your answer was far too honest, but you grew so sick of lying today, “I, uh, need you to tell me how fucked I am.” You sniffled, pressing your eyes shut so you would stop looking at that damn scratch on the floor.

—

Jungkook was thankful when he found his apartment empty as he slid his back down the door, slumping against it on the floor defeatedly. His head hung low as he rested his arms on his knees. He shook his head, wanting more than anything to wake up from this nightmare already. 

Every moment with you this morning circled in his mind like a broken record. It was torturous, but it was all he could do to face the reality of the situation. If he couldn’t keep you in his life, he had to at least figure out why. Had Bangtan done something to hurt you? Or had they hurt your family somehow? Did you even have any family for them to hurt? Fuck, where did it all go wrong?

He got himself stuck in this loop of questioning for an indeterminate amount of time as he ran through every millisecond of his time with you today. Every time he circled back, he always got stuck on that phone call. That phone call was the catalyst of the ruin he was in the throes of right now and something about it just… didn’t sit right with him. How often did coworkers call you for it to make sense? Sure, you could’ve lied, he’d hardly be in a place to judge, but then who else could it have been? 

Suddenly keeping as much of yourselves private from each other felt like a mistake. Now that the people you both became in the presence of one another have effectively died, he’s left with nothing to do but cling to the you he never got to know. It’s an addiction, really. He should just be mourning the civillian distraction of his real life, but he knew you were so much more than a distraction, it’s just the first time he’s really feeling it. He couldn’t let you go, and he refused to even if he had the ability. He needed to figure out why it all went up in flames before he even considered mourning. 

—

“I won’t lie to you, darling, but I will ask, do you want the good news or bad news first?” Eunhwa finally spoke after listening intently to your panicked word vomit.

You blew out a shallow sigh, “Bad news.” It would be pretty difficult for your day to get any worse at this point. 

“Right.” Your former nanny had a nostalgic lilt to her voice before speaking, “Since the capture of your uncle and with the anniversary week in full swing, it would be pretty difficult to find someone in the underground willing to help you… in the way you may need help.” She spoke delicately, “The whispers suggest Bangtan isn’t going to stop with your uncle, and the whereabouts of your father and even you are… well, high ticket items, if you understand what I mean.” 

“Yeah.” You struggled out. You knew all too well what she meant. In a world where the most important currency is power, almost anything was for sale in the Underworld’s market, especially information. You knew firsthand there were few things people wouldn’t do to get in the good graces of the syndicate in power, and you were more thankful than ever that the only active tie to your life before wouldn’t sell you out. Not that she would ever need to. Eunhwa was and always has been a well-respected figure in the underground, and she’s mastered the rare skill of neutrality while maintaining respect. 

“And unless you have your father’s whereabouts to offer, it wouldn’t be wise to voluntarily come forward.” Or else they’d kill you on the spot. She spared you the detail, but you understood what she meant, “Good news is, after all of the mayhem of anniversary week cools down in a few weeks, we’d most likely be able to find someone to help.” Her weak attempt at trying to sound joyful was comforting regardless of how not effective it was on you, “Plus, Jungkook may not even add two and two together before then. I doubt he would be too keen on putting his best friend to death.” 

“Except I’m no longer his best friend.” Your voice cracked with your heart, and you couldn't help that pitiful laugh that left you at how childish you sounded, “So I’m not sure if that would help me.” 

Eunhwa sighs, and you can hear the pity in it. It should make you sick, but this was your last human connection in your personal life, so any care towards you was welcome right now, “Feelings don’t just go away the moment they should, you know that.” She softly chided, “We’ve all loved people for longer than we should’ve, and that might be the fact of life that’ll buy you the time you need.” 

You hummed, not able to say much as her words soaked into your wet cheeks. You loved your father for much longer than you cared to and with Jungkook… Well, the pain would be one you were sure you’d feel for ages.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” She said, her voice going up an octave now that the logistics were out of the way, “Right now, just keep your head down and live your life like normal, okay?” 

You hummed again, defeated, “What if I just packed a bag and left?” You mused, looking out the window. You knew why that wasn’t an option. There was no such thing as leaving the underground, especially not on your own. Not with the trail of bodies you’d have to leave behind. All it took was one call, and it would shatter you completely. How would you pay for anything? You were only given enough of a payout for school, everything else was given up. You’d be caught before you even made it to the airport or snuck onto a ship.

“You know better.” Eunhwa breathed, “You would be calling even more attention to yourself, and that would piss Jungkook off and tip him off to who you are at the same time.” You nodded. She always had a point. The fact was that Jungkook didn’t yet know who you were, but you feared it was only a matter of time, “I’ll call you when it’s time.” Was all she said before the line clicked. You almost laughed at the fact that before Jungkook, you were convinced your interactions with Eunhwa was the highest form of affection. Not that she didn’t care about you, it’s just the world she knew was one of keeping those she could love at an arm’s length. It was safest that way, and no one, not even you, was worth jeopardizing her safety. You couldn’t blame her for that, and you could only hope Jungkook would feel the same if he did find out about who you were. 

Even more, you hoped you were long gone before the day came.

—

“I hear you, Sohee, I do, but you cannot just punch at full force everytime you get upset.” You looked at the 16-year-old as you tossed her ice, which she caught with ease and a pout in your direction. Kang Sohee was someone you’d consider a regular in your office. She was a bright student with poor emotional regulation– like most high school students already had– add that to the pressure of being in the top percentile in the nation, meant she was routinely in for her ibuprofen or a pack of ice. 

“Would you rather I hit people?” She challenged but shrank when you gave her an exasperated look as you sat at your desk to type up the incident.

“Raise the bar, kid.” You sighed, “I’d rather you take those deep breaths we’ve rehearsed or punch a pillow or a folded hoodie like we’ve also rehearsed.” You gave her a pointed look, “I don’t want you to break your hand or split your knuckles to the point of needing stitches.” She winced at the thought and you nodded, “Exactly, it would be gruesome and only make you more upset in the end.”

She sighed, nodding, “It’s just…” She trailed off, and you nodded empathetically even though you had no idea what going to high school was like, from what you could tell it was no different than any other cliquey group with a hierarchy. There was significantly less bloodshed, which you were thankful for. 

“I know.” You sighed, “Exams are coming, and emotions are running high.” She nodded at this, “And I’m glad you’re allowing yourself to feel those emotions, I just want you to express them in a way that doesn’t get you or anyone else hurt.” 

She nodded once again, but snorted, “Okay, school counselor.” You sent her another glare as you paused your typing, making her smile. 

Even though you rolled your eyes, you were just glad she was feeling better. These kids had a million different stressors that landed them in your office and led you to need to provide some kind of emotional support. You never figured yourself as good with children, but the students liked you well enough, so you figured you were doing something right. Maybe all that therapy you did during college came in handy, just not in the way your therapist might have thought. 

“You have any significant others, Nurse L/n?” Sohee asked, making your typing cease. 

Your eyes bulged as you blinked at her, “Now how did we get here?” You asked, making her giggle. Truthfully, you should’ve been used it by now. These kids rarely had any sense of decorum or minding intrusive questions.

“So no?” She tittered, chipping at your flimsy dignity a bit. 

You snorted, “How mean, but no, Ms. Nosey, I am not… involved with anyone.” Jungkook’s face flashed in your mind for a reason you couldn’t pinpoint nor wanted to entertain. Especially not now. He was a friend and nothing more. Keyword: was.

Sohee thought for a moment before speaking again, a true rarity for her, “Well, Mr. Kang totally has a crush on you.” She blurted, and your fingers tripped along the keys, making your nail sink in the space between two of them.

“Sohee!” You gasped, erasing the series of semicolons that populated the page, “Wh- I-” You took a moment to breathe, “Mr. Kang does not-”

“Well, thanks for the icepack!” She called as she slipped out the door, leaving you with your mouth agape, “Oh, hi Mr. Kang!” She sang loudly, making your chest seize. 

In walked Changhyun Kang, the history department head and advanced history teacher with a smile on his almost unnervingly handsome face. Living in the city on your own as you navigated adulthood came with many culture shocks, but one of them were how pretty some of the people you came across, Changhyun being one of them. He was nice though, because of course he was, and he came in every day to steal some ice for his mid-day coffee. He could very well go to the cafeteria for some, but your office was closer– barely. Regardless, you were in no state to pry into why he insisted on coming to your office. Jungkook had done his best to give you a rundown on how to talk to your fellow coworkers, but you elected to only use that advice when absolutely necessary. Now you couldn’t help but wonder how he even knew to coach you on that. 

Changhyun’s eyes darted to the door, giving you a questioning brow, “Sohee is awfully chipper today.” He observed, “Especially for a Monday.” He chuckled. You never understood the fixation with announcing the days of the week among your coworkers, but you played along nonetheless. Right now, it just served as a reminder that you had a mere two days before anniversary week would reach its crescendo. 

You sighed, “That she is.” You simply left it at that before changing the subject, “Thank you for reminding me it is nearly my lunch time.” You chuckled, continuing to type up the report. 

He nodded, thinking for a moment, “Are you ever able to take your lunch early?” He asked curiously, before moving to get some ice.

You didn’t look up from your screen as you spoke, “Well, sure, I guess I just keep my usual time for the sake of routine.” You responded thoughtlessly. 

“I see.” He spoke and the typing off your keyboard suddenly sounded way too loud. 

You gulped, not sure how to fill the sudden awkward tension, “Why?” You asked, insistent on looking at your computer still. 

“W-Well, I was just thinking maybe we could have lunch tomorrow or something?” He rushed out, and you paused, blinking for a moment. The urge to overthink the invitation was strong, especially since you weren’t sure how long you were even going to be here with everything else in your life going on. However, that was all the more reason it didn’t matter. Plus, who’s to say he was intending anything other than friendship. Changhyun was a good-looking guy, so it wouldn’t make much sense for him to be so bashful when asking for a date– not that you would even think to count an in-work lunch as a date in the first place. Obviously you were overthinking the situation anyways and for a bit too long as he continued, “I mean I bring my lunch, and you bring yours, and I come in here anyways, so we could just eat in here? –But if you prefer not–”

“Sure.” You turned to smile at him, “I could use the company.” You did your best to brighten your smile, and he returned it tenfold, “Maybe then the students will stop asking me if I have friends.” You tried to joke lightly, and surely Jungkook would be proud of you as Changhyun let out a hearty laugh. 

“Same here.” He chuckled, but it did little to simmer the sting of Jungkook on your mind. Just before your coworker could notice your smile fall, you phone started vibrating. You looked down at it with a frown, “Well, I’ll let you get that. See you!” He gave a polite wave that you mirrored just as Jungkook told you to do. 

Changhyun was kind enough to close your office door, which you were thankful for as you picked up the phone, too nervous to check the caller ID, “Hello?” 

“Was it Byungjoo?” Your blood ran cold as Jungkook’s voice sliced through the receiver. 

You’d seldom heard him sound like this before, but you can hardly register his tone when the name he uttered slices through your skin. 

“Wh-What are you–” You tried to say something, but Jungkook couldn’t bear to hear you try to lie anymore. 

“Who you saw at the fight. It was Byungjoo, wasn’t it?” He demanded, but something about his voice sounded… off. Like the way it would sound during finals week when he’d join your marathon studying. Has he… been up all night? Or longer? It’s Monday now and you both ended things Saturday morning. 

Suddenly, Byungjoo fades from your mind and you’re just a friend again, “Jungkook, have you… slept?” You asked, and flinched at the sound of his sharp exhale, letting it sink in that he’d no longer be your solace from your past. 

“Answer my question.” He demanded, but you pressed your lips together. You can���t answer his question, so that left you with one choice.

“I don’t know who–”

“Aren’t we done lying to each other?” He snapped, making your eyes widen, “Here, I’ll go first: I’ve watched every fucking frame of the crowd footage of the fight and cross-referenced them with every teacher in the goddamn city, and the only one’s that were the only ones that were in that footage for even a second hadn’t called out of work that day.” 

It was like the air knocked out of you. Why? How? It didn’t make sense. What the fuck did Jungkook do for work? Is Namjoon more than just a boyfriend? The thought was too much to bear, “Please, it’s– it’s–” You had to take a semi-stabalizing breath, “Don’t do this.” You whispered. 

“I wish I didn’t need to.” He spit, “But I can’t fucking do this without you–”

“Yes, you can–” You cut him off desperately despite how much you wanted to agree. He had no choice. Neither of you did. “Well then I don’t fucking want to!” He yelled, making your throat nearly close, “Look, you don’t have to worry about Byungjoo anymore–”

“It’s not Byungjoo I’m worried about.” You spoke honestly, not wanting to hear about your uncle’s fate any further,  “It’s… not safe for me to be around you, Kook.” You admitted and it felt like pouring hot wax down your throat.

There were a few beats of agonizing silence before he spoke again, “I can make it safe for you.” 

You shook your head before sighing, “You can’t.” The crack in your voice mirrored your resolve. It would be so easy to just say the full truth, but you let your mouth close, hoping it would stau that way, “This is… it’s bigger than just you, okay?” 

“No.” He deadpanned, and you sighed,  “No, not okay. This… nothing is too big for me…” He all but promises before adding, “...not when it comes to you.” 

Your heart ached in your chest. How many times had anyone deemed you worth much beyonf what you could give them? And would anyone else do it in the future? Jungkook was all you had and how much that meant to you teared you apart as you spoke, “It’s not worth–”

“Yes, you are.” Was all he seethed before hanging up.

You were stuck there for a moment, frozen with your phone to your ear. Had you not seen the call log yourself, you could’ve convinced yourself that whole thing was just a horrible nightmare. You wished it had been. The last thing you needed was Jungkook to tear open the wounds that haven’t even begun to heal properly and incidentally signing your death certificate. Then again, maybe his tune would change once he found out who you were. You weren’t some unsullied reprieve from his life in the Underworld, and maybe once he realized that, he’d turn his back on you. He’d realize you weren’t worth much at all. Just like everyone eventually does. 

Bitterness filled your mouth and it’s only then you realized you gnawed on the skin of your lips for too long. You huffed out, opening your compact mirror to asses the damage only to find one small red sliver. You placed a small piece of tissue on the oozing blood and put on your mask for the rest of the day. 

------------------------------------------

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Masterlist

#bts mafia au #bts fanfic #bts series #bts poly au #ot7 x reader #yandere bts #yandere bts x reader #bts x reader #mafia bts #yandere mafia bts

[wonwoonlight]

there’s not a single star in the sky | xu minghao & kim mingyu

➝ Minghao x Reader / Mingyu x Reader // not a love triangle

➝ soulmate!au // angst // somewhat slowburn // fluff in between? // a journey of acceptance and moving on

➝ total word count: 12k

➝ notes, warnings: my sorry attempt of an angst <//3, it doesn't end badly i promise, curses, food, mentions of death, OC is trying to hold back her tears for like.. 80% of the fic, probably some grammatical errors and typos, not beta-ed D: i purposefully write some stuff vaguely. that's it, tell me if there's more!

➝ summary: he’s your soulmate. so why did the universe also decide he’s not the one you’re going to spend your forever with?

or, alternatively:

Minghao was there to fill the space Mingyu left behind; but you'd never expected to what extent he was meant to do it for.

➝ A/N: it's late and i didn't mean this to be your bday fic but.. happy bday hao!! i'll shut up and say more at the end. pls enjoy and tell me what you thought!!

여기 이 세상이 아름다운 건 the reason why this word is beautiful

그대가 머문 흔적들 때문에 아마 is probably because it has traces of you [Jo Sungmo - Do You Know]

When you first met Minghao, he was there to be your roommate.

It's been months since Mingyu left, almost a year, really, and as much as it still hurts and the thought wells up tears in your eyes, Jeonghan is right when he said it's time you need to pick up the pieces broken by the love of your life.

–the first step being moving out of the place you had bought together with him. Saying it hurts is starting to get repetitive at this point, but it really does and you have no idea how many times you’ve broken down crying the more you pack, your eyes red beyond measure and your chest physically aches that it’s hard to breathe. 

The apartment is practically empty except for the furniture, nothing inside screams you or Mingyu anymore except for one single photograph and it sends you into a spiral of sadness that you can’t comprehend how to handle. Your eyes wander to the empty wall on top of the TV, already rid of photographs Mingyu had taken and decided to frame because “angel, this is a masterpiece!” like he didn’t say it everytime he decided to frame more pictures and hang them on the walls (mostly of you both together).

You close your eyes and exhale a deep breath at the memories, hating the way your lips still tremble at the thought of him, then gently wipe the tears lining up your eyes before they turn into yet another waterfall.

There’s only one big picture left on the wall, a photograph of a daffodil field you both had gone to two years ago and is easily the most beautiful place you’ve ever stepped your feet on. You insisted that the picture stays though Jeonghan said it’d be better to take everything down. But as much as you know his memories hurt you, you don’t want to erase him just because you’re struggling; that picture is the one Mingyu loved the most and you think it’s only right to let it be.

So it can guard your home once you’re no longer there.

Kim Mingyu is still the most wonderful thing that has ever happened in your life and you want to keep his memories with you no matter what.

“When is your cousin moving in?” Jeonghan asks as you put the last of your belongings. Most of your stuff is already in your new place, and while you couldn’t bear to sell the apartment, you heard from your mom that your cousin is looking for a place in your area because she’s starting university soon; so she’s going to move in and rent your place at least until she finishes her study. 

You’re not that close with her, but know her well enough to know that she’s nice and isn’t the type to mess around. Which is good, because if you’re close with her then you’d be finding reasons to visit just to be in the apartment. This way, you know your place will be in good hands and, for now, that’s the only thing you can ask for.

“In two weeks. She’ll start moving her stuff next week though.” It’s weird to be talking about someone else living in a place where your love bloomed, but it’s really for the best and you understand that it’s getting more unhealthy for you if you continue your way of living the way you do. Even one year is already pushing it.

“You’re still moving tomorrow though, right?” your best friend nudges you, and you nod as you try to shrug the weight lingering on your chest. Your silence concerns him despite your nod, so Jeonghan takes your hand and squeezes it lightly. “Do you want me to stay the night?”

“It’s okay, Han.” You smile weakly. As much as you want Jeonghan to hold you through the night because you know you’ll be crying, you want to spend your last night here by yourself. You want to cry one last time so you can let everything go. You want to bask in Mingyu’s memories, in his fading scent, and in the place where the love you shared with him grew the most.

And as you cry yourself to sleep that night in your empty bedroom, screaming for Mingyu’s name into your pillow again and again like it’d bring him back to you, you think you can feel his arms holding you once again the moment your consciousness gives up, almost like a dream you wish you never wake up from.

Your new roommate is perceptive and you’re not sure yet whether you like it or not.

“You look tired.” He smiles politely, though you can tell that the look in his eyes is closest to what you’d describe as pitiful.

Of course you look pitiful, you woke up with your head pounding due to your excessive crying the night before and you could barely open your eyes because of the very same reason.

“I was going to talk to you about rules and all that but I think that can wait.”

“Thank you,” you say without offering any reason, you don’t owe him any explanations anyway. “I just need some sleep though, can we talk about it later tonight?”

Minghao nods, the smile on his face so warm that your heart would probably skip a beat if not for your current predicament. You wince at the way your heart clenches, Mingyu’s name once again echoing in your head. Feeling heat creeping up against your neck, you reach up to touch the skin behind your ear, a habit you always do, something Mingyu teased you about since the time you went on your first date together.

Ah, fuck. You really should stop yourself from thinking about him too much.

“It must’ve been hard moving all that stuff. Have a good rest,” Minghao ushers you before you can say anything, which you thankfully nod at, and you immediately bolt to your new room before you embarrassingly cry in front of him out of nowhere. 

You don’t need to know Minghao hears your cry because you didn’t close the door properly, his concerned eyes rooted to the floor as he closes the door for you, the soft click barely even a noise upon your heart silenced sobs.

It’s later that night that he sees you again, already fresh in new clothes and looking comparably better than earlier though your puffy eyes are a dead giveawa. Minghao has never been one to pry, but his heart is made to care for others and he’s trying hard not to ask if you’re okay, to pretend like the sound of you crying didn’t tug something in his heart.

Xu Minghao is born to care for those around him but he’s not sure why you crying hurts him this much when you’re practically a stranger renting the available room in his house.

“Want to order something?” He forces himself to say, wondering if he’s crossing any line; do you even have any intention to befriend him? He’s still not sure why you’re moving into his place, the most he has heard from you was you’re simply looking for a new environment, and Junhui, a mutual friend of the both of you, has only told him that you’re going through a lot so he might want to be careful overall.

When Minghao asks if there’s anything he should know out of concern, the older guy has simply said it’s not his story to tell and reminds him to be mindful if you’re ever visibly struggling in front of him.

“I was wondering what to eat for dinner. You can join me if you want. It’s okay if you don’t, though.”

Unexpectedly, you send a soft smile his way with a nod, then make your way to sit on the single sofa next to him and hug the cushion on your lap. “Sure. What’s good around here?”

“Mmm. What do you feel like eating?” He turns to look at you, only to find your fingers playing with the skin near your ear as you purse your lips in thought. It’s the first time he has the chance to actually look at you, and he scolds himself for being a teenager when it pops into his mind how soft your skin looks followed by the question of how it’d feel under his touch.

“Anything’s fine except for pasta.” 

“You don’t like pasta?”

“I do. I think they’re too heavy if we eat them now though.”

Minghao hums in agreement, but you say he can order whatever he feels like eating because you can eat just about anything as long as it’s not too creamy at the moment. “Surprise me,” you tell him, your voice a little too cheerful for someone who was crying a few hours ago. He tries to get it off his mind though, because it’s none of his business and you’re not even friends yet at this point.

He doesn’t even know why it bothers him that much. Perhaps he’s been thinking about Junhui’s words too much, be careful and be mindful. As someone who’s used to catering to other’s feelings, Minghao finds it hard to stay still when he knows someone near him is struggling. It’s obvious from your body language though; the way you’re internally exhausted but are trying your best to look okay.

Maybe moving to his place is your first step to overcoming whatever you’re going through. Whatever it is, Minghao decides that’s where he should stop assuming and reminds himself once again that it’s none of his business.

“So,” he starts after ordering food. He figures he should at least talk about the house rules if there’s no other topic at hand. “I’m not very strict about rules, to be honest. Some of the rules I always tell people are just basic ones like: let me know if you’re going to have friends around, though I’m not too comfortable with anyone staying overnight, so just make sure to ask me first before you let anyone stay over; don’t be too loud; and let’s clean after ourselves? These apply to the both of us though, so I promise I’ll stand by them too.”

“Yeah, sure.” You nod in agreement. He’s right. Those are basic rules, he’s just asking you to have manners and be aware that you’re living with someone else. But you can tell from his first impression alone that Minghao is the kinda person that’s considerate and proper. He didn’t ask for anything too personal when he first met you to talk about your possible coliving situation, and it was easy to tell that Minghao was just looking for someone that’s…, well, also proper.

He was just the right amount of friendly. You didn’t talk with him for that long that day, but you could tell that you both passed each other’s vibe check and you were glad when Minghao called a week later to say you’re welcome to move in anytime the month after if you’re still looking for a place to stay.

“I don’t have that many friends so you don’t have to worry.”

He chuckles at that, glad that you’re comfortable enough to make a joke. "We'll get along just fine then."

The silence after that is a bit awkward, though it's not enough to make anyone uncomfortable. You wonder if you're simply imagining Minghao's extra careful words and gestures or if he’s simply that type of person to begin with. 

He does seem the type to be certain with his lines.

"You're home a lot, then?" He tries to stay on the housing topic, a very safe topic that hopefully wouldn't cross any line.

“Yeah. I really mostly go out when my friends invite me or if I want to take a walk, else I’m basically holed up in my room.” You shrug then return the question, though from the few times you dropped by the house when you moved your things over you can already tell that Minghao is about the same.

“Mmm. I enjoy both my time inside and outside,” he purses his lips in thoughts, a tilt of his head accompanying his words. “Depends on the day, I think. Sometimes I actively try to find places to try out, sometimes I’m happy to be in my studio and paint for the whole day.”

“You paint?” Your tone is more excited than you intend it to be, though it really makes sense because you notice there are a lot of paintings throughout the living room. And now you wonder if those are his own paintings, which Minghao shyly nods to, the sheepish smile on his face growing the more you sing praises to his talent. “Wow. I’ve always wanted to paint, you know? But my hands are not made for art so…”

“That’s nonsense.” He frowns like your sentence personally offends him, his words bringing tears to your eyes before you even realize. “Art is for everyone. Have you actually tried painting?”

‘Angel, that is not a painting!’ Mingyu laughed with the entirety of his chest, not minding your pout even the tiniest bit. ‘That’s just doodles. Gosh, you’re so cute.’

‘I told you I didn’t want to do this!’ you whined as you tried to get away from his embrace. Seriously, this guy was a good 20cm taller than you and he liked to just bend down and bury his face onto your neck like it’s not physically uncomfortable for him to do so. ‘I’m not going to let you plan another date.’

Mingyu simply grinned and hugged you tighter at that, knowing full well that you didn’t mean any of it.

‘Art is for everyone though,’ he whispered with a laugh, his lips upon your cheek. ‘You did great. We should try watercoloring sometimes.’

“Did… I say something wrong?” Minghao’s worried voice brings you back to the present, and you blink back the tears before they actually fall down, your voice caught in your throat.

“No.” You clear your throat then excuse yourself to the bathroom in hope Minghao doesn’t notice anything. From the way he simply nods, you hope that’s the case, but the gentle eyes full of concern following you until the bathroom door closes certainly implies otherwise. 

Minghao brushes the mark near his collarbone, its jet black color reminding him of things he’d rather not remember anymore. It used to be so vibrant with color, then they bleed out at once one day, turning into such a dark black it contrasts against his skin.

There’s something else Junhui said that has been bothering him, something that he thinks is the main reason why he’s more attentive to you than anything.

‘I can’t say much. But if there’s anyone who understands her struggle, it might be you. Just… don’t push her, yeah?’

He’s not sure how close you are exactly with Junhui. But if the older guy is able to say that, he supposes you’re either closer than he’s assumed, or you’re related in more ways that he could imagine. You did find out he had an available room from Junhui.

It doesn’t feel right to go through yours or Junhui’s social media just for the sake of it. But, from what he remembers, you definitely don’t appear enough on Junhui’s account for you to be in his close circle. Plus, if you’re actually close, the older guy would’ve probably brought you to hang out with him a long time ago; Junhui likes to blend all of his friends, after all. So you’re probably a friend of a friend, or there’s a situation that Junhui happens to know.

Whatever it is, it bothers him. Are you struggling like he was?

Minghao bites his lip and grazes his soulmate mark again, why is he talking like he’s over it now? As much as he’s coping, said that he’s okay now because that's all he’s managed to be, he’s still far from acceptance. 

He’s still far from making peace with it.

His eyes flicker to you again as you return and sit back down on the sofa. You force a perfect smile, one that would fool anyone into thinking you’re actually fine. Not him though, because if there’s anything he recognizes, it’s the emptiness in your eyes despite the way they turn into crescents. He’s practiced the same exact smile way too many times not to recognize it on others.

If there’s anything Minghao knows, it’s the eyes of people who are hurting.

And if there’s anything else he understands, it’s that they don’t always want to talk about it. That everyone hangs on differently and he doesn’t know you well enough to know how you cope and how you hurt.

So he does what he usually do: offer comfort in the subtlest way possible by change the topic.

“But, then again, it’s not for everyone,” he shrugs almost nonchalantly. If anyone else is in the room, he’s sure they would notice the way he’s blatantly staring at you in worry. But, fortunately for Minghao, there’s no one and you’re too busy calming yourself down to notice. “What do you do in your spare time?”

“Actually,” you shake your head like you’ve made a resolve, like you didn’t even hear his question. Your voice falters a little as you say your next words, but Minghao listens attentively as he pretends not to notice the quiver in your gaze. “I would like to try painting. I did it a long time ago but… maybe it’s time to try doing it again.”

“You sure?” he questions, something weird stirring in his heart at how determined you look. It’s most likely the romantic side in him; he’s always liked seeing people doing their best. There’s just something so beautiful about people who try, and he supposes it’s the fact that he knows the look in your eyes, recognizes a similar kind of pain reflected in them, then knowing that you’re doing your best to be okay again.

It’s almost like he’s seeing himself a few months back (has it really not been a year since he’s started to learn how to accept?), and while his heart warms at the fact that you’re trying, it makes him wonder if this was how people felt when they saw him before.

“Yeah. I think it’d be fun,” you say vaguely, knowing that your tone itself sounds unsure. Still, you’re thankful that Minghao doesn’t say anything about it as he nods and says that he’d send you the address of a cafe that allows their customers to draw on a paper and turn the result into a keyring; that he thinks that would be casual enough for you to try and have fun because an actual painting studio might feel suffocating if you’re not into it 

You falter at the mention of the familiar cafe, one that you haven’t gone to but remember Mingyu had mentioned before. You can probably still find its name and address somewhere on your phone, because Mingyu had insisted you make a list of places you should go together to, though you gave up updating it along the way

“It’s the one with a sloth mascot, isn’t it?”

“Oh, yeah. Have you been?” Minghao bites his lip at the slight tremble of your lip, did he say something wrong again?

“No, actually.” You force a small smile, one that looks sad, if anything, and Minghao’s heart is so close to breaking that it’s almost stupid. Why is he so emotional today? You’re just his new roommate, for God’s sake. “But I… I’ve heard of it, yeah.”

A heavy silence envelopes the room after that; you, deep in your mind, and Minghao, unsure what to say. Considering Junhui’s words and the way he sees himself in you, he dares to jump into conclusion and wonders what could possibly happen to your soulmate for you to be this way; to be constantly in and out of your memory in the span of thirty minutes he’s been talking with you.

Did they leave you like his soulmate did? He winces at the thought of her, the urge to reach for his mark makes his fingers ball into fists. But he waves it away and, thankfully, the bell rings indicating the arrival of your food.

Fortunately, the food is enough distraction for you two. You hum in delight once Minghao opens the packaging of the food, the smell filling the room immediately that your stomach growls a little. You’re both more hungry than you thought also, because the food is gone faster than the time it takes to arrive, and the both of you wish each other good night after cleaning up.

You’re not exactly sleepy, but you’re mentally drained and you’re afraid at how many times you almost poured your struggle to Minghao. You don’t like crying in front of anyone but Jeonghan, don’t like the feeling of anyone looking at you in pity or even concern. You really don’t.

But there’s something about Xu Minghao that makes you feel okay about being vulnerable; something about him that makes you want to open your heart and serve all its content on a platter for him to see. Or perhaps you’re just more emotional because you’ve officially moved out of your place and it’s your first day in your new home.

You hope that’s really the case.

Because the first scenario scares you a little too much.

You don’t want to feel that way.

So you spend your night talking with Jeonghan until you fall asleep, talking about nothing and everything so you wouldn’t think of Mingyu or how easy it is to be off guard in front of Minghao.

You tell Jeonghan you want to go to the sloth cafe and he offers to come with you, his voice wavering when you mention you want to try painting.

You dream of Mingyu in front of an easel that night, painting a field of yellow flowers with a smile on his face and the stars in his eyes.

“Oh, are you going somewhere?” Minghao asks when he sees you all dressed up on the sofa, though the way you’re slumped against it makes him doubt his question. “Or did you just come back?”

You scrunch your nose at the question, then sit up and hug the cushion against your chest. “I meant to go to the sloth cafe today. But Jeonghan is suddenly called for a work emergency, so…”

The words come out before he thinks it thoroughly, and Minghao almost hits himself in the head once they escape his lips. “I can go with you if you want?”

Unexpectedly, your face lights up as your eyes meet his, making him a little taken aback at the enthusiasm.

You really do want to go there, but the thought of going there by yourself scares you a little but you know that if you don’t go now when you’ve made up your mind, you’ll push it back over and over again until eventually you decide you’d just not go. 

“Will you, really?”

“Sure, if you don’t mind going with me.” Minghao shrugs. It’s too late to back out and he’s glad if he could help you one way or another. It’s been quite some time since he visited that cafe and he doesn’t have anything to do, anyway. At your nod, he asks again. “When do you want to go?”

“I’m free the whole day, if you don’t mind going today…” You trail off, feeling a little awkward if you’re being completely honest. It’s been two weeks since you’ve moved in, and while you’ve passed the awkward phase, you’re still not there yet when it comes to favors.

“Let me change real quick then.” He definitely didn’t expect you to say yes when he offered, but now that you’ve asked him… Might as well, right? 

The ride to the cafe isn’t as awkward as you suppose it would be, the radio filling in the silence between the two of you when you’re not talking. Minghao asks if you have anything in mind you want to draw already, and you say you actually have no idea, that you want to see if there are any easy examples you can follow because you’re not gifted enough to draw anything by yourself.

“What about you?”

“Hmm… Any requests?”

You laugh at this, and then hum to yourself to see if there’s anything you’d like to see. For a second, you wonder if you’re crossing the line by asking him to draw for you in a way, but if it’s Minghao himself who asks, it should be okay, right?

“Flowers?” Your voice falters as you think of the last dream you have of Mingyu. Yellow flowers, wasn’t it?

You hear his smile before you see it, and when you turn to him curiously, Minghao offers you a nod and asks again if you have any flowers you prefer. But you don’t really know your flowers, so you tell him you want to see anything vibrant, that it’s up to him whatever flower exactly.

“Vibrant, huh?” You wonder if you imagined the slight curt in his tone, but Minghao nods once again and says he’ll see what he can do.

“You don’t have to, though!” You say, suddenly conscious that you’re making him draw something for you.

“It’s okay. I didn’t know what to draw, anyway.” He grins to assure you, but you can tell that there’s something going on inside his head that you don’t dare to ask.

“Alright… But don’t feel bad if you want to draw something else, okay?” You manage to say, hoping that you don’t sound like you’re putting a distance between the two of you. Minghao changes the topic from then, and it’s not long until you find yourself arriving at the cafe.

It’s weird, what you’re feeling. You’re both afraid and excited, as art has always been something that you associate with Mingyu. You never do it with anyone else, or even by yourself, for that matter. Mingyu was the only reason you’re even interested in it, and you’re pretty sure you would never even try if it wasn’t for him.

And now you’re here. About to go to a cafe where you can draw at, a cafe you had promised Mingyu you’d go together with…

And now you’re here.

With someone else.

“Let’s go?” Minghao’s voice breaks you from your thoughts, something you’re incredibly thankful for because you’re just about to spiral into a hurricane of emotion otherwise.

Half an hour later, you find yourself sitting side by side with Minghao as the busy sound of the cafe fills the silence between you two. You straighten your back as you exhale a deep breath, the sound of it makes Minghao chuckle from beside you. 

“What flower is that?” You glance at his drawing, intrigued by the amount of details Minghao pours into it despite not having any reference whatsoever. He’s drawing by memory, you assume, as you can’t see his phone anywhere near him, and now that you really look at his drawing, you think you’ve seen the flower before. 

Minghao pauses before he answers you, his gaze fixated on the paper in front of him. “Forsythia.”

You hum as you take out your phone, looking up the flower to see pictures of them. It’s when you quietly mutter to yourself that Minghao turns to you, a small smile on his face as he sees you admire the flowers.

“You know them?”

You shake your head, then close your phone and return to the paper in front of you. You’ve drawn nothing but the night sky, poorly drawn hills, and a few street lamps along the street. It’s nowhere near good drawing, but at least you can tell for sure that those objects are identifiable and that’s enough win for you.

Like going here trying to draw.

Like going here without shedding a tear even though your lips trembled when you step into the cafe.

That’s enough win for now.

“Can I ask something?” his voice brings you out of your thoughts, and when you nod, his voice is hesitant despite your okay. “Why… is it so dark?”

“What is?”

“Your drawing.”

Huh. Is it?

“Is there any reason you’re not drawing the moon or stars?”

You blink at the question, then look again at the night sky you’ve been drawing the past thirty minutes. The constellation mark behind your ear suddenly stings a little; have you come to hate astronomical objects so much that you end up drawing nothing but the sky without even realizing?

“It just… didn’t occur to me.” You offer him a small smile, your colored pencil hovering upon the night sky. “I can’t draw them now though, can I?”

He hums as he skims your drawing, then his eyes glance at the pack of colored pencils next to you.

“Yeah. It’d be hard to draw the moon because you’ve colored most of the night sky.” He nods and smiles your way, one that you return with a tilt of your head. “It’s okay though. It’s still pretty as it is. Some nights we can’t see the stars and the moon anyway. Doesn’t really matter, right?”

…Doesn’t really matter, huh? You bite your lip as you ponder over his words, your mark feels like it’s tingling behind your ear.

“Can I ask something too?” You say after some time, eyes still focused on the flower he’s drawing.

“Sure.”

“I notice there are a lot of flowers in your paintings back home. Is there a reason why you like painting flowers so much?” His movement pauses at your question, and, for a second, you wonder if you’re intruding. But Minghao answers before you can retract your question, his hand moves again to fill in the color in the petal.

“It’s my soulmate mark.” His tone is much too nonchalant for such a topic, but as much as Minghao can tell you’re hurting by the look of your eyes, you can also tell he’s hiding by the tightness in his voice.

It’s very subtle, but from your point of view, it can’t be anymore obvious that Minghao is also struggling, presumably about something along the same line as you. Soulmate isn’t a sensitive topic for most people, but now that you’ve seen him this way, you can tell at once that you both share the same reluctance towards the issue.

At least it’s also clear that he’s coping far better than you are. Whatever’s happened between him and his soulmate, you hope it’s not as bad as what befell you.

“You wouldn’t know which one though,” he jokes to divert the topic. It’s more for your sake than it is for him, you feel like. He probably knows you’re not sure what to comment on that.

“I’m sure they’re pretty either way.” You comment vaguely, suddenly itching to touch the constellation behind your ear. You hesitate before you continue, unsure if it’s okay to bring it up again, but you also feel bad and you let your feelings override yourself for once. “I’m sorry I made you draw flowers.”

Minghao completely stops at that, and even though you’re not sure what you were expecting, you surely didn’t expect amusement clouding his face when you meet his gaze.

“Why are you sorry though?”

“Just felt like I needed to apologize.” You shrug, your voice gets gradually smaller as you continue. “Seems like it’s personal to you.”

“It’s fine. Like you said, I do paint a lot of flowers.” His smile is genuine, and you’re glad that he really does sound amused if anything.

Your conversation shifts from there, the two of you swift through light-hearted topics as you finish your drawings. You watch as the staff turn your drawing into an acrylic key ring, a happy smile on your face as you look at the result in your hand.

It’s definitely much better than you expected, and you think it’s good that you went with Minghao because, had it been Jeonghan, you would’ve cried thinking about Mingyu the whole time. You’re glad you went with your roommate, someone between a stranger and a friend, someone that you need to be careful with but close enough that it’s not uncomfortable.

“Yours is so pretty…” You mutter in fascination as you peek at Minghao’s, happy to take the key ring from him when he asks if you want to look closely.

“You can take it.” He says with the entirety of his heart, the grin on his face painted with pride. It’s one thing to have people sing praises to his work, but it’s another story altogether when he sees someone like you who looks at his creation like it’s the most precious thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on. When you ask if he’s sure you can have it like it doesn’t make sense for him to just give it away, he chuckles and nods. “You look like you’d appreciate it. That’s good enough for me.”

“Thank you!” You clutch the keyring between your palms, telling him you’d take good care of it. “I’d offer you mine but…”

“I’ll take it.” He offers you his palm, and then chuckles some more when you ask again if he’s sure about his choice. “You doubt me a lot, huh?”

“It’s just… Mine isn’t as pretty though.” You scrunch your nose as you hand him your result. Yes, it’s better than you expected, but still…

“I saw how much effort you put into that.” He begins, his thumb caressing your keyring. “And I did say it looks pretty, no? I wasn’t just saying it to make you feel better.”

Whispering a small thank you, Minghao almost laughs at how shy you look at his compliment. He looks at the keyring again, a picture of street lamps beneath the night sky. Then his mind pictures your focused frown when you were drawing them, and then to the conversation he had with you almost two weeks ago about this very cafe; how you were holding back tears and how you had reacted when he brought up the cafe.

And now here you are, talking animatedly about how the experience has been much more fun than you expected it to be. And even though he did catch you spacing out from time to time, he notices how determined you are from the beginning. Determined to do what, he can only guess.

He thinks he’ll think of you now everytime he looks at the night sky.

He gazes at the keyring yet again, and then at you next to him.

He thinks he has never seen an effort so beautiful.

Mingyu loved seeing you with your hair up; a pony tail, a bun, anything that let him see your whole face and didn’t cover your soulmate mark if only a little. The location of your soulmate mark doesn’t really allow you a lot of hairstyles that won’t cover it, but if you have your hair up, you’d at least be able to see half of the constellation that stops just a little below your ear.

That said, you wear your hair down most of the time after he’s left, having developed a habit of hiding the black constellation scattered there. The most you’d do to your hair is to tie half of it, which doesn't happen a lot.

“I have a question.” Minghao says as he pours your empty glass of wine once again. Minghao was chilling by himself when you returned from the convenience store, and when you saw the wine bottle on the coffee table, you had been quick to ask if you could join his little routine.

“Shoot.” Undeniably, you’ve gotten closer with him the past few months. You hadn’t expected to find a friend when you first moved in, but Minghao clicks with you in ways you haven’t really clicked with others that you can easily say he’s one of your close friends now.

It’s different, what you have with him.

Jeonghan is your voice of reason as much as he is the devil’s advocate; he’d push and push and push but he also knows when to pull you back when necessary. He cares for you like a best friend and an older brother, having his own way to change between the two roles accordingly.

You’re not the closest with Lisa. She’s not the kind of friend you’d look for first when you need someone to talk to, but you only have good memories with her since high school and it’s always laughter filling your cheeks everytime you meet up with her. You trust her when it comes to it, and she’s a token of happy memories you keep in your life.

Mingyu… Mingyu is–was your soulmate. He understood you without you saying anything, he knew when to leave you alone and when to coax you into telling him what’s bothering you. He spoiled you like there’s no tomorrow, listened when your rambling didn’t make any sense, and held you in his arms on nights you didn’t want to talk to anyone. He’s loud with his affection, never hesitated to show you his love even though he knew you’re never insecure when it came to that.

But Minghao… he observes and hypothesizes. He’s calculated and he’s silent with his concern. He doesn’t always ask when he thinks something might be up, simply leaves you be and you’d find a cup of iced chocolate or an ice cream with a note that lets you know they belong to you the next day. He pretends he doesn’t know you’re crying even though you’re sure you look like a mess, he’d just ask if you want to eat something or if he should just order online.

You don’t have a lot of friends, but from the few that you have, Minghao is the most like you.

And now that you think about it, you somehow gravitate towards those much different that you are; people who are loud in the best way possible. Which is why your friendship with Minghao feels different in ways that you can’t really describe. 

“Why do you never tie your hair?” You have expected Minghao to ask this question sooner, if you’re being honest, as you’re sure that he’s noticed this since before. You’ve caught him eyeing your long hair from time to time, mostly when you two are out and it’s hot outside while you stubbornly let your hair down for the sake of covering your ear.

“Does it bother you?” You ask while sipping on your wine. It’s your fourth glass already, and even though you’re not usually a fan of alcohol, there would be days like this when you just feel like letting loose and crave for some.

Minghao shakes his head and changes the song playing in the background, finding something softer than the jazz instrument he played earlier. It’s another lazy Saturday night for the two of you, and between liking to stay at home and your somewhat similar personality, it’s really not surprising how easy it was to be close to Minghao in the span of five months.

How could you not when the two of you almost always spend your days together, even more your weekends? Jeonghan would join you from time to time, or he’d drag you out and there would be days when Minghao also tags along.

So, really, it’s safe to say you’re with Xu Minghao almost 70% of the time except for the time when you’re at work.

“Not really. Just wondering because it looks hot to go around like that all the time.”

You hum as you contemplate your next words. You could’ve just brushed it off like you always do when people ask, but a part of you has finally arrived at a place where it wants to let him know about Mingyu even only a little.

After all, there are days when you share your pain with him. None of you really talk about it, but you’d both vaguely mention about sad romance from time to time; enough for the two of you to be almost sure that, yes, there’s something wrong about the soulmate situations upon you both.

Perhaps it’s the alcohol in your system. Or perhaps it’s the dream you had of Mingyu last night, his fingers tucking your hair behind your ear and smiling at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid his eyes on.

That’s probably why you feel like drinking today.

While moving in with Minghao proves to be a good step towards moving, it doesn’t mean you’ve stopped crying when Mingyu appears in your dreams, which no longer happens quite often. There are still days when you’d read his old messages and stare at old pictures. When you’d open his Instagram account that’s no longer active and scroll through his aesthetically arranged feed.

It doesn’t hurt as much anymore, but you still get choked up for obvious reasons.

At least he no longer resides in your mind on a daily basis, though the thought also weighs like a boulder upon your heart.

You… want to move on from him, but you also don’t.

The amount of love you hold for Mingyu is more than you think possible, it’s overwhelming and it’s a burden at times. You didn’t think you could love someone like you did Mingyu, soulmate or not.

You don’t mind though. Even though the love is heavy and you don’t think you can ever love anyone–anything as much as you love Mingyu, you don’t mind and you still want to do it.

You still want to do it now even if he’s no longer with you. Even if his scent has completely faded from every single belonging of his that you bring with you to your new place. 

The fact that you’re actually getting used to a life without him hurts.

It hurts almost as much as the day you lost him.

It hurts because you’re close to forgetting how he even sounded if not for the hoard of videos of him in your phone.

Aren’t you supposed to be together forever? To hold each other every night and spend the rest of your life basking in each other’s warmth?

Aren’t you supposed to be soulmates? What the fuck went up there that decided you’re not going to have a happy ending with your soulmate?

You want to be okay without him.

You don't want to be okay without him.

Minghao’s concerned voice brings you out of your trance, and it’s only when you taste something salty in your lips that you realize you’ve been crying. 

For all the time Minghao pretends he’s never noticed you crying, this can’t be one of them. Not when your tears come out of nowhere when you were spacing out for a few seconds upon his question. And when he asks in a hushed whisper whether you want him to hold you, you don’t even answer as you dive straight to his embrace, your tears refusing to stop now that you’re in someone’s arms.

He doesn’t seem to mind though and, for some reason, the way his arms gently circle around you makes you cry even harder. It’s such a contrast with Mingyu’s tight embrace, he always made sure to hug you hard, something to remind you that he’s there and you have him with you.

Minghao's hold is careful but sure, the way he hugs you is almost ticklish, like you’d break if he hugs you just a little too tight. Except for the few times you fell asleep on his shoulder upon movie nights, this is the first time you’ve ever been this physically close with Minghao.

You end up telling a gist of Mingyu that night, tying up your hair to show him your soulmate mark. If Minghao’s surprised at its color, he doesn’t show it, and it’s you who gasp in shock when he tugs the neckline of his shirt to show you his own blackened soulmate mark near his collarbone.

IMinghao starts talking first, as he figures it might be easier for you if you know he’s been through something along the same line. He never really likes talking about his soulmate, doesn’t really have any reason to do so either. But looking at you like this, it’s the urge to comfort you that overrides his usual reluctance.

If his pain can be anything other than pain… if it can even help someone in some way, perhaps it’d be better to share the story he’s been holding to himself.

“She left me for someone else.” You want to wipe the weak smile off his face, want to tell him that he doesn’t have to act like he’s okay because you can’t even begin to imagine the amount of pain Minghao went through. “Said she found someone better and she doesn’t believe in soulmates. That we’re too different and believed the fact that we’re soulmates just proved that fate is nothing but stupid games.”

You know whatever words you offer him wouldn’t be enough.

You know.

You know because nothing anyone says would be enough to comfort you.

So you share him your pain, show him that he’s not alone and you know how it feels to be left behind.

The story you tell him is a very oversimplified version of the whole thing, that your soulmate is no longer with you and it’s still hard even though you’re coping. Though you do tell him that you did move into his house due to the same person.

Minghao’s gaze doesn’t falter as you tell him a very small part of your story, just enough to know you’re both hurting in the same way. That you’ve both lost the people who're supposed to be your destiny regardless of the reasons why. He doesn’t hesitate when he wipes your tears with his thumb, the look in his eyes is anything but pity.

Your lips still tremble despite your tears stopping, making it hard for you to continue talking even if you’re not sure how much you’re going to tell Minghao that night. But in a moment of weakness, your gaze falls to his lips the same time his eyes fall to yours. And when your eyes find each other a second later, you have no idea who makes the first move and how your lips end up upon his.

The kiss you share with him is soft; your lips upon his over and over again, your palms firmly planted on his shoulders as his stays on your waist. You have no idea either how long the kiss lasts for, but the kiss is sad as much as it is comforting, your fingers balling into fists as you grasp his shirt to get yourself together.

You wonder if Minghao can also taste the salty tears falling from your eyes upon his lips.

It’s him who pulls away first, and he doesn’t give you a chance to meet his eyes as he pushes you into the juncture of his neck and kisses the top of your head.

For the first time, Mingyu’s smile is sad when he appears in your dream.

He’s trying to tell you something, but there’s no sound coming out of his lips and your eyes are too blurry to make sense of his words. You’ve missed him so much, and you hate that he looks concerned when it’s been so long since you’ve dreamed of him.

You can still feel the fluttering warmth of Mingyu’s lips on your forehead when you wake up, only to find Minghao holding you to his chest as you both lay on the couch, his eyes closed and his protective arms firm around your figure.

You're not avoiding Minghao.

You've honestly just been plagued by the last dream you had of Mingyu that you’ve been a little dysfunctional for the past week. You haven’t got the chance to tell Jeonghan about the dream nor what went down that night, and you plan on telling him tonight in the comfort of your bedroom just in case you’d be crying again.

You’ve texted Minghao Jeonghan might be sleeping over that night, though he might also go home if he suddenly decides otherwise. You stare at your phone as you bite your lip, hating how you can even tell how awkward you two are even over texts.

[14:22] Hao, is it ok if Jeonghan stays the night? He might also suddenly decide to go home tho!!! I promise we’ll stay quiet

[18:45] Minghao 🍀: Sorry, I thought I replied already. 

[18:46] Minghao 🍀: And sure. You know I don’t mind Jeonghan.

[18:46] Minghao 🍀: Thanks for the heads up.

Minghao doesn’t usually answer late, and it’s worrying you a little that it takes him almost four long hours to answer you. Isn’t he working from home today?

You really need to get back to your senses and fix whatever weird situation between you and your roommate. Though, truthfully, you know it’s just you making it weird because Minghao has been acting like usual. The smile he gave you when you both woke up in each other’s arms still haunts you among other things.

And while it’s true you’re not avoiding him, it’s also true you don’t know how to face him after that day.

“When’s Jeonghan picking you up?” Lisa snaps you out of your trance, sipping the last of her coffee. It’s been quite some time since you met up with her, and her text has come right when you need a happy distraction so you’re more than happy to accept the invitation and meet her after work, which is why your hang out with Jeonghan has been pushed accordingly.

It’s the weekend tomorrow, anyway.

“In a bit.” As usual, spending time with Lisa means having a good time. Usually, it’s followed by a good night sleep on your part, but as much as you love spending time with her, the thought of Mingyu, Minghao, and wanting to talk to Jeonghan about them clouds your mind to the point where you’re sure you won’t be having a good night sleep tonight. “He’s stuck in traffic.”

It’s about fifteen minutes later that Jeonghan comes in, and he sits down next to you to talk with Lisa for a bit before you part ways with her. You listen to him talk about work as he drives, offering your thoughts on the matters that you think would help.

When he pulls into Minghao's driveways you stop him from getting off the car, ripping the bandaid with one go because you don’t know how to do it otherwise.

“Me and Minghao kissed last week.”

Jeonghan looks at you wide-eyed, mouth opening and closing as he tries to find the right thing to say.

“Just telling you now because I… well, there’s a chance Minghao might catch it if I tell you later.” 

He stares at you in what you’d describe as worry, but before you can ask him to explain, he grabs your hand and gives it a comforting squeeze. “But you’re okay?”

“Somewhat.” You squeeze his hand back. “I’ll tell you everything after dinner.”

Surprisingly, Junhui’s voice greets you the moment you open the door. He’s speaking Chinese, your mind registers, and if his tone indicates anything, he’s upset and he’s nagging. You don’t see Minghao anywhere though, and you find Junhui by himself in the kitchen, hanging up on whoever’s on the other line before he slips his phone back into his pocket.

“Jun?”

“Oh. Hi. Want some soup?” He says like it’s normal that he’s here cooking without the owner of the house.

“What are you doing?”

“Minghao’s down with a high fever.” He shakes his head as he stirs the soup in front of him. “He’s sleeping now.”

Minghao’s sick? Is that why you didn’t see him at all this morning? Why didn’t he tell you, though? You could’ve brought him something had you known.

“Can I… talk to you for a bit?” Junhui asks, his eyes flickering to Jeonghan behind you. The older guy seems to get the message, quickly leaving the kitchen and into the living room before you even answer. “Something happened between you and Hao, huh?”

For all it’s worth, you know Junhui has always been a protective friend. You’ve never been particularly close with him, but he’s close with Mingyu and you know what kinda person Junhui is courtesy of Mingyu’s words. He’s playful and he’s caring. Mingyu used to say Junhui isn’t the kind of person he would want to be enemies with, that he’s glad he’s friends with the older guy.

So to have him look at you with a piercing gaze, it’s hard for you not to deflate under his eyes.

“You don’t need to tell me anything. He didn’t either.” He starts, and then hesitates before he continues. “I… How are you?”

Your eyes prickle with tears at his question, because you know he’s not just asking about you in general. It’s there even if he doesn’t say it outright: how are you coping without Mingyu? 

You try your best to blink the tears back, but fail when Junhui reaches out and pats your head. Your palm blocks the sob out of your mouth, and it’s when Junhui says his next words that your sobs turn into pathetic whimpers.

“Don’t think about it too much, okay? I know it’s hard without him. But if there’s anyone who can take care of you like he did… I’m sure he would’ve wanted you to take that chance.”

It’s hard to listen to him and not cry. Not when you know how close Junhui was with Mingyu. They’re not the bestest of friends, but were still close enough to spend nights drinking with each other to talk about life and the problems that came within.

Between all of Mingyu’s friends, you knew Junhui was one of the people he respected most.

“Mingyu used to say you always think about him before anything.” His voice trembles as he says it, and that’s when you realize you’ve only spoken about Mingyu once with him after the whole thing. As much as you’re hurting, you know they are too, to certain points. “But I think… I think it’s okay not to think of him first now. You don’t need to forget him. But try to think of yourself too, alright?”

You nod, not being able to say anything to that. While you haven’t actually dwelled on what you’re feeling for Minghao, it’s true that you’ve always stopped yourself from even thinking about it because of Mingyu. He’d come into your mind everytime Minghao does, and while it helps a little to know that at least you’ve both lost your soulmates, it’s still hard for you to think that you’d be replacing Mingyu somehow.

You don’t want to replace Mingyu.

You don’t want Minghao to be a rebound.

But is he, really?

“I’m not saying you have to decide now whether you want to give Minghao a try or not. But… you deserve another chance at happiness, okay? And whether it's with Minghao or not, I hope you'll take it when the chance presents itself to you.” He whispers softly.  

It’d be a lie if you say you’ve never tried to think about Minghao in that light. Because you have, you have since that day you went to the cafe and drew with him. But Mingyu clouds your mind, and a part of you always feels like you’re betraying him and his memories if you even think about being with someone else.

“I promise Mingyu wouldn’t want you to hold yourself back from a chance of another happiness.” You cry harder at this, palm still covering your mouth to stop your sob from echoing throughout the house. “I know it’s still hard to accept that Mingyu is no longer here. I know, trust me, I do. I lost my little brother too that day, and if it’s hard for me as a friend, I can only imagine how hard it is for you who lost your soulmate. But you can’t trap yourself in his memories forever, right?”

It’s then that you cry, cry, and cry.

It’s one thing to think to yourself that you’ve lost him, that he’s not with you anymore and there’s nothing you can do about it. But it’s another to hear it from someone else’s mouth right in front of your face.

It reminds you of that night a year and a half ago in the hospital, the words ringing in your head over and over again until it’s the only thing that echoes in your mind.

Mingyu is gone.

He’s gone and he’s not coming back to you.

He can’t come back to you.

No matter how much you’ve cried into your pillow and cursed at the gods to bring him back to you, it’s nothing but a futile attempt because he’s not here.

He’s no longer in this world and your heart still aches everytime you think about the fact that he’s dead and you can’t see him anymore.

What’s the use of having a soulmate if he’s going to leave you first out of nowhere?

What’s the use of having a soulmate when you couldn’t even do anything to protect him from the accident that took his life?

What the fuck is the use of having a soulmate if you’re not going to end up together with him for the rest of your life?

It’s then that Jeonghan rushes to the kitchen, immediately kneeling beside you on the floor because you don’t have any energy to even stand on your feet at this point. You don't even realize you're wailing, your palm doing nothing to help stopping your broken cry.

Jeonghan can't hear anything but your sobs since earlier, but he knows your talk with Junhui is long overdue, which is why he’s been holding himself back from barging in even though he’s been worried. But how can he stay still if he's heard you let out a loud cry followed by a thud?

Junhui follows and kneels next to you, patting your head once again as he wipes your tears to no avail.

“Think about it… okay?”

You’re spacing out as you lean on Jeonghan’s shoulder when Junhui knocks on your door. You’ve spent the last hour telling your best friend everything, from the way you’ve been suppressing your thoughts about Minghao to the talk with Junhui earlier. In a true Jeonghan style, he has offered you a piece of his mind followed by saying he agrees with Junhui though he doesn't fail to remind you to take your time thinking about it.

“Do you mind taking care of Minghao or do you want me to stay over?” It’s almost ten in the evening, you look at the clock on your wall, and you suppose Junhui is trying to figure out if he should go home now or not. “He gets a little needy when he’s sick but doesn’t say anything.”

You look at Jeonghan for some reason, and when he offers you nothing but raised eyebrows, you turn to Junhui and say you’d take care of Minghao for him.

“You sure?” He asks one more time. “I can just stay over if you don’t want to.”

Junhui chooses those words for a reason. He didn’t ask if you can do it, he makes sure to let you know that it’s okay if you don’t want to.

But you do. As much as you’re conflicted, you can’t deny the worry bubbling in your chest the moment you heard Minghao’s down with fever to the point where it's hard for him to even get out of bed.

“I’ll take care of him.” You say with a determined nod, your arm squeezing Jeonghan’s for support.

“Then I’ll trust you with him.” You’re probably looking too much into it. You have no idea if Minghao has confided Junhui in what’s transpired between the two of you, but his words seem to mean more to you regardless of his real intention. 

“I’ll take you home then.” Jeonghan surprises you both, patting your cheek before he gently lets go of you. “I don’t think it’s me you need to be with tonight.”

It’s silent once the two went home, and you’re left on your own in the living room. You try to think about your talk with the two men, but your head pounds a little from all the crying. Your eyes are probably puffy too, though at least they’re not red and you probably just need to drink some water to help your headache.

You close your eyes and exhale as you lean your head back against the sofa head. Has it really been one and a half year since you lost Mingyu?

It's funny, grieving. You never really get over it, and as much as you claim you're okay and you've accepted that he's no longer with you, you know you'd never entirely accept that deep down in your heart.

Some days Mingyu doesn't cross your mind at all. Some days you can suddenly cry in between conversations because his name rings across your head for no apparent reason.

Time seems to be too fast and too slow when it comes to memories of Mingyu. You never really thought about finding a new romance before, if only because you live in a world where soulmates exist and Mingyu took your heart with him the moment he left this world.

It must be some sort of twisted fate too for you to find Minghao, another shattered soul whose soulmate left him by choice. As much as it hurt you to lose Mingyu the way you did, you couldn’t imagine how Minghao picked up the pieces of his broken heart because the person who’s supposed to be his forever left him for selfish reasons.

You can’t imagine how his heart can still be as pure as it is with the pain it went through.

While you don’t know yet what exactly went down, what you know for sure is how beautiful of a person Minghao is. He probably knows you’re struggling since the beginning. He’s been considerate in more ways than you could’ve imagined, in his own soft, subtle way to the point where you didn’t realize he’s taking care of you.

It took you quite some time to realize, but it makes sense because you can recognize the pain that flashes through his eyes too from time to time. As two owners of broken fate, it’s not surprising that you recognize one another.

The sound of the door creaking brings you back from your head, and you see Minghao looking a little lost when the door opens, probably wondering why the house is dark and quiet.

“Why are you out of bed?” You scold him softly as you make your way to him. You usher him back to bed, but Minghao insists his body hurts from laying down too much and he needs to stretch a little. 

So you make him sit on the sofa instead, which he whines at because it’s not that different, but his heart softens at your concerned whine so he decides entertaining you shouldn’t be too bad even if he feels like walking around the house.

“Drink some water.” You hand him his usual mug, then plops beside him as your palm automatically reaches for his forehead, cheek, and then neck. Minghao doesn’t say anything as he stares at you, though he shivers at your touch because your palm is cold when it meets his skin. “Your fever has gone down, I think."

“Were you worried?” his voice asks softly. Almost hopeful, even. None of you bothers to turn on the lights, though the light peeking from the kitchen helps just enough for you two to see each other albeit dimly.

You think Minghao might be a little delirious, but Junhui did say Minghao gets needy when he’s sick, so you do the least you can do and decide to throw away all of your thoughts for the night. What matters right now is that he’s sick and you want to take care of him.

“I was. Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” It’s funny the way you’re both talking like it’s a secret. Your soft voices barely heard throughout the house even though it’s loud enough just for the two of you.

Minghao shrugs, not offering you any explanation. But you see it in his eyes, in the way he hesitates and shakes his head. He probably didn’t think it was okay to tell you. 

“Tell me next time, okay? Though it would be better if you don’t get sick again.”

He hums and it’s silent after that. Minghao turns to the window, looking at the dark night outside. “Did Junhui go home?”

“Yeah. I told him I’d take care of you.”

“Did you?” His voice gets even softer when he says this, both hopeful and afraid. But before you can say anything, he cuts you off and asks again. “And Jeonghan?”

“Took Junhui home.” You pause before you continue. Is it a good time to bring it up now? Would it be better to do it when you’re both awake and well? Listen to your heart, okay? It’s okay to put your guard down sometimes. Jeonghan’s words from earlier ring in your head. “Said that it’s not him I need to be with tonight.”

If he’s surprised, Minghao doesn’t show it. But his stare seems to pierce through the dark and you can’t find it in you to look away. Mingyu appears once again in your mind, but you try your best to suppress the thought before you find yourself deep into it.

“Is there anyone you need to be with tonight?”

“Mmh. Maybe.” You try to be nonchalant, very conscious of the way your heart is beating loudly against your chest. You look out the window before you start talking again, a pensive look on your face as you contemplate your words. “It’s weirdly dark tonight, huh?”

Minghao follows your sight and nods, waiting for you to say more. You gather your hair and move them to your right shoulder, and from where he’s at, he can see the black stars peeking behind your left ear.

“It’s Cassiopeia, my mark.” You start, your eyes still locked on the night sky. “I tried looking them up once, but I suppose I’m not smart enough to actually understand the story. Mingyu did though, and he’d pop up a quiz from time to time to see if there’s anything I retain from all the time he babbled about our identical marks.”

He doesn’t know where you’re going with this, but his hand finds yours and he’s glad you don’t pull away, simply holds his hand tighter as if you’re looking for something to keep you going. His heart cracks at your weak smile, but he knows you have more to say and he’s more than willing to listen.

“I ended up liking them though; the celestial objects. The moon, the stars, planets, everything that’s up there in the sky. I found fascination in them and I’d find myself buying stuff with their patterns.”

Minghao can’t see you clearly because of the dark, but he imagines your eyes are watering up by the slight tremble of your voice.

“And then it stopped when Mingyu died. I don’t hate them, but it hurts to see them and… if you remember my drawing those months ago, I suppose that’s why my drawing was so dark even if I did it unconsciously.”

You pause to take a breath, your hand tightens around Minghao’s. “I think he took all the stars with him the night he left. That selfish jerk.”

His heart clenches painfully at your weak chuckle, at the way your hand reaches up to wipe your own tears, and at the way you take a deep breath in determination.

“But… But it’s okay even if we can’t see the stars, right?”

Minghao gapes at his own words from that day you drew together, words that he said without much thought but seems to hit you in ways that he would never imagine. He tightens his grip on you, and then pulls you to his shoulder before taking his turn to speak.

“You probably don’t recognize it. But forsythia is my soulmate mark.” He says as he caresses your knuckle, his mind taking him back to the exact day you referred to just seconds ago. “I knew it took a lot for you to be there. And even though I didn’t know exactly why, I could tell it was hard. But you pulled through and I thought I should do the same. So when you asked me to draw a flower, I knew I had to draw the most beautiful forsythia I could ever draw in my life.”

“I used to hate them, you know?” You can hear him smile even though you’re buried in his shoulder, his arm that has made its way around you pushes you more into himself. “But you saw that drawing like it’s the prettiest thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on. I didn’t think much of it at first, but I saw you carrying around that keyring everyday and it’s… something. I’ve heard a lot of people compliment my works, but I’ve never seen someone appreciate it as much as you do. It wasn’t intentional, but I think you helped me get through it without even meaning to.”

You pull away to look him in the eyes, and for someone who claims you don’t find beauty in stars anymore, you almost want to dive into Minghao’s eyes that seem to twinkle with all the stars Mingyu took with him.

“Do you know what forsythia symbolizes?” You know he’s not expecting you to actually know, so you shake your head and urge him to continue. “Anticipation, apparently. Because they bloom in spring and signal the beginning of one. I’d like to interpret it as the flower of a new beginning.”

You almost cry again at what it implies; at what it can imply not only for him but for the two of you. Is it too early to jump into that? Is it too fast? Weren’t you just crying about Mingyu hours ago?

“We don’t have to figure it out now.” His voice rings through the night, his fingers caress your arm to shield you from whatever’s in the dark of night. “The morning will come eventually even when the night is long, right?”

“Yeah.” You succumb into his embrace as you smile through your tears. But how can you not when Minghao says those words like Mingyu did many nights ago?

“Don’t think about it too much.” He kissed your cheek and hugged you close to his chest, to shut you up more than anything, really. “It’s not like the morning won’t come even if the night is a little too long. Focus on what you have in front of you, instead okay?”

“But what if–”

“No.” He cut you off, his palm covering your mouth as he laughed at your glare. “No what if. Let’s enjoy the night while we’re at it.”

“You sound stupid.” You rolled your eyes in mock annoyance despite the way your heart swelled in affection.

“You love me anyway.” He grinned cheekily, which you laughed at out of embarrassment because if there’s one thing you could never do, it’s to deny your love for him even jokingly.

“Hao?” 

“Hm?”

“You’ll hold me through the night, right?”

He smiles like it’s not even a question, his fingers intertwining with yours as if to make a point.

“Yeah.”

“Even if it’s a long one?”

He clasps your hand tighter, his thumb caressing your knuckle.

“Yeah.”

©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved.

A/N 2: hi!! it's been quite some time since i write anything along this genre. i've always wanted to write soulmate!au and while this isn't exactly heartfluttering like soulmate!au usually is, i hope you enjoyed it one way or another. this fic got longer than i originally planned, but i hope you guys enjoyed it and please do send me your thoughts through anything you're comfortable with. i know it sounds repetitive at this point, but it's truly your feedbacks that keep me goin<3

A/N 3: did any of u guessed gyu di*d btw

permanent taglist: @kyeomjjigae @stantrash171819 @sebongmochi @luveveryonewoo @thinkinboutwonu @kpopjackie @ursweetener @lavenderautumnx @itsveronicaxxx @shuahoshiscoups @sunshinein17 @leechanniee @twogyuu @hoe4wonwoo @h3h3tm0n @noraehey @seokshook @rubyhoons @02psh @just-here-to-read-01 @listxn @janandbeyond @pearlygraysky @baekhyunstruly

also tagging: @joonsytip

#caratwritersclub #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #minghao angst #minghao fluff #mingyu angst #mingyu fluff #mingyu scenarios #seventeen au #seventeen fic #seventeen imagine #mingyu imagines #the8 angst #seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen scenario #minghao imagine #mingyu oneshot #mingyu x reader

[neverevan]

☀️ writing patterns ☀️

rules: list the first line(s) of your last 10+1 posted fics and see if there's a pattern!

because we'll all arrive in heaven alive

buddie | 51.4k and counting | Explicit

Thursday, day 5

Buck was still trying to wrap his head around what had happened, it was all so quick; the rain, the debris, the mudslide and then the moment of radio silence before the chaotic explosion of noise.

“We’re not giving up on him.” Bobby had said at the time, but after four days, it has become abundantly clear that instead of a search and rescue, most people have already started to treat this as a recovery mission; except they still haven’t recovered the person who mattered the most.

And When You Speak, Angels Sing From Above

buddie + Shannon centric | 2.8k | Gen

Eddie should’ve seen it coming; the fancy restaurant, the idle evening walk in the city and the arranged sleepover giving them all night to be alone. In his defense, he was blinded by how perfect it all seemed.

Right up to the moment they got home, tangled into each other, rolling along the walls of the hallway, kissing and giggling at the increasingly silly things that Buck kept saying — then, Buck was suddenly gone from his personal space, getting down on one knee in front of him instead, saying words that rang through Eddie’s ears, without their meaning managing to penetrate the walls of his brain.

It didn’t matter.

no harm, no foul

buddie | 4.9k | Mature

The last couple of days felt… Well, honestly, confusing would be the word Buck would use.

The one thing that became clear in the recent weeks, was that he and Eddie were done pretending that there wasn’t something going on between them. (Right after spending at least two months violently dismissing any notion of such an idea, while simultaneously wondering if the other was doing the same. God, they could be really stupid sometimes… Buck was honestly surprised they even made it this far like this.)

Unfortunately, that clarity still left something else much more blurry; their direction.

we’ve got something permanent (i mean in the way we care)

buddie | 7.1k | Explicit

In hindsight, Eddie should’ve seen it coming from a mile away, after the week they’ve had.

It started out by having two days off back to back — which Eddie had planned on using to lay about the house, maybe with some slow make out sessions peppered in, while Chris was at school.

Apparently, Buck had other ideas.

Keep My Heart Warm In Yours

buddie | 18.5k | Mature

The whole thing started with Youtube — as most things do when 12-year-olds are concerned.

Christopher shuffled into the living room with determination, where Eddie was trying to figure out the settings of his new smart TV and Buck was folding and flipping the instruction manual back and forth, trying to find the beginning of it when Chris shoved his phone under his nose.

Of Love, Hospital Jitters And Christmas Lights

buddie | 6.3k | Teen + Up

“MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!” Buck shouted frantically as he pushed past people and ran through the sliding doors leading to the ER.

A nurse ran up to him immediately, waving to people behind herself for help and Buck felt his fingers go numb with fear as he tried to focus on her face.

You Ring, I Drool

buddie | 8.6k | Explicit

Eddie had long realized the resemblance, but it started to become more and more evident lately — and much harder to ignore.

Simply put; Buck was like a dog. In more ways than one.

If This Is What The Season Is Bringing

buddie | 2k | Teen + Up

December 25th 2021

Buck went straight to the fridge after he kicked his door shut. He really needed a beer right about now.

Okay, so Eddie was leaving the 118. Fine.

Well, not fine, nowhere near fine actually.

Out Of Order, Still In Line

buddie | 6.2k | Explicit

Buck could barely believe that today was finally The Day.

After weeks of power outages, paperwork mix-ups, unauthorised appointments and last minute emergencies, Buck finally made it to the Clinic.

And now here he was.

I Was Betting On Forever (But Forever Comes And Goes)

buddie | 4k | Teen + Up

Eddie was startled awake by the forceful ring of his phone.

He reached over to the nightstand blindly with an annoyed huff and pulled the phone off of the charger. He held it above his face, the brightness of the screen making him squint as he read the caller ID.

Unknown Caller.

Coming On Ever So Strong / Coming Off Ever So Soft

buddie | 14.7k | Explicit

Today

Buck didn’t have the best track record when drunk.

That was probably the explanation why his head was pounding like someone was trying to break into his skull with a sledgehammer. And why there was someone pressed up to his side in his own bed.

☀️✨☀️✨☀️

oh I feel so exposed lmao all those pointed single sentence lines dropped in there, just to set the tone are definitely something I swear by... I also use timestamps a lot cuz I love to jump all over the place and then of course there's my dearest friend; in medias res.

I was tagged by the wonderful @jeeyuns @exhuastedpigeon and @wikiangela mwuahhh 💛 and I'm totally no pressure tagging @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @daffi-990 @diazsdimples @watchyourbuck and whoever else feels like giving this a go ✨

#it feels like ​I haven't done a tag game in ages #😭 #my reading list has been waiting for me for weeks atp and I'm sweating blood to keep up with posting #but I miss pumping out all these fics for my boys 🫶 #but alas I was on a mental health break and now I'm back in training and actively pursuing my career #so I doubt I'll be that productive again #but then again who knows what the new season will bring out of me lmao #buddie #911 #tag games #my fic

[mushies-stories]

TV Yule log- drabble

Eddie X GN!Reader

Summary: it's your first Christmas in your own Trailor home. Eddie isn't sure if it's the best home, if you wished there was more to your new life with him and it sparks a conversation about the future.

Authors note: I wrote this real fast, but the idea came to me because google has a cute little Yule long and then I wanted to know when the first tv video was aired and here we are. my one and only holiday themed writing from this year... aha. I'll do better next year!

Warnings: none? Christmas? XD no use of Y/N.

“Did you know the first year they broadcasted the Yule log was in 1966?” you said. You sat in front of the big box TV while flipping through the channels.

Eddie chuckled and shook his head. “I didn't.”

Finally finding the station your face lit up as soon as you heard the crackling of the wood and the classical christmas tunes playing. “There we go!” you say with excitement and jump up, giddy and excited. You cross the room and flop down next to Eddie on the couch. “Now we can have the best first Christmas in our new home.” you proclaim with a wide smile.

“Yeah, well it is the closest thing this hunk of junk is ever going to get to a real fire.” He jokes, gesturing to the trailer home you two have recently moved into. It wasn't a bad home, a little small but for two it wasn't all that bad. And it was a first home, close to home and his uncle. It was a nice home to give you both time to figure the future out. 

“Maybe, but this is still a wonderful home Eddie.” you knew how bad he was bullied in school for living in the trailer park. Even if he knew deep down there was nothing wrong with it, he still carried that weight of that dumb stereotype in the back of his head. “It's cozy and warm. It fits me and you perfectly and I like it here.” you tell him and hook your arm around his and rest your head on his shoulder. You want to reassure him that you truly love it there, with him, that it only matters that you have each other. 

There's a moment of silence. It's not awkward or weird, just a pause as your words take up all the space in his head. You watch the fire dance and let the Yule log and soft music fill in the silence. 

Then Eddie spoke. Voice quieter and a little unsure. “Really? This place is enough… you don't wish we could afford to leave hawkins?” he asked. Body testing a little as the words come out. 

You peaked up at him through your lashes, he wasn't looking at you, but at the TV. he looked like he was contemplating something, thinking about how things could be, or how he wants them to be maybe. 

“Yes.” you said simply. 

His eyes slide down to your own. You looked at him with pure truth in your eyes. He didn’t know how to respond, you were so sure about everything, like nothing scared you. Nothing seemed bothered you but how could that be true, How were you so perfect?

You smile softly and nuzzle your cheek into him and laced your fingers in his. “I love you Eddie, we have a whole future ahead of us and if you want to stay here, then I am more than happy to be by your side.” you say and give his shoulder a quick kiss. “And, if you want to leave, travel and find a better home then I will still be by your side. Forever and always Eddie.” You say everything with such a sweet and caring voice Eddie can't help but believe every word you say the moment they reach his ears. 

“I love you so much.” he says, a grin growing across his face. “As long as every Christmas and every other holiday is spent with you, I'll be the luckiest man in the world.” he kisses the top of your head and leans into your warmth. “We have time right? Time to grow and plan a good future, right?” he asks again, needing one last bit of reassurance from you. 

You smile, so big and bright that his heart aches and melts all at the same time. “We have time Eddie.” 

It was the first Christmas spent together in your new home. A night spent by the Yule log and long talks about what the future could hold for you both.

Followed by a morning of back and shoulder pain from falling asleep on the couch with tangled in each other's limbs.

Thank you for reading and happy holidays!

#Stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine

[cryptic-queer-cryptid]

I feel like people keep forgetting that Good Omens has always been intended to be a three act story. This is only act two. With all that season 2 references Pride and Prejudice, people sure do seem to be missing the key parallels.

In P&P (one of my favourite pieces of media ever!) they fight in the second act!! It can’t exactly be called a breakup, but it’s a miscommunication that ends in their separation, with both thinking the other meant things they didn’t. Darcy has to go and be introspective and then he comes back to Elizabeth once he’s learned. “If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this matter forever.”

Half the good love stories out there include a mid-tale breakup. That doesn’t mean they won’t get their happy ending. I have faith in Neil and everyone working on the show. They’ll figure out their unresolved trauma, learn that they’re both wrong at least a little, and fix it as best as they can. And then they’ll end up in a little cottage in the South Downs, because Neil’s answer to whether it exists in the TV universe has been “not yet.” every time. We just need to get it renewed :)

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #good omens analysis #good omens season two #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow

[ryndicate]

One gift, Two Gift, My Gift, Whose Gift? ⨳ Draken, Ran & Rindou

No matter how many men he lets into your life, you know you're Draken's forever. Hopefully.

notes: for @knchins ! Hi hi, I'm your secret santa! I really hope you like it and I hope all my vague ass asks were worth it hehe, I did my best to make it something you'd enjoy. Of course extra special thanks to @dark-mnjiro I know we were supposed to be completely anonymous, but when she told me you and her were close I couldn't help myself. It's my first time writing a gn reader so if I Madd any mistakes I'm so sorry! I reread it as many times as I could to make sure<3

Event: @mekiza 's secret santa exchange <3

warnings: fem-bodied, reader is referred to as "baby" and "princess", gn pronouns, stockholm syndrome, implied kidnapping, implied behavioral training, multiple creampies, non/consensual cucking, pregnancy, very brief knife play, multiple partners/partner sharing, cockwarming, aftercare and comfort

By expanding, you are consenting to viewing adult and dark content and all warnings listed above. 18+ Minors DNI

Rules & Main Links

“Do you need any help?”

Your soft question raises tentatively above the volume of the tv as you watch your partner unroll more of the string lights before tapping another nail into one of the many wall studs that he marked out earlier this morning. He’s putting them up at your request, just like he did last year and you think the year before that. It’s the little things like this that he always says yes to.

Making a night about cocoa and cuddles, buying that blanket you saw on tv, putting up fairy lights all across your room, just one more kiss. That’s where you’ve found your happiness. Draken can’t deny you the little things.

“No, princess. I got this. Just sit back and look pretty for me, okay?” He smiles down at you, the pale yellow light illuminating the winding serpent across the side of his head.

“Okay, Ken.”

You shift the blanket over your body, smoothing it out, content to watch him move the stool periodically as the lights begin to look more and more complete. Draken has always been so handsome, but there’s something about him lately that makes him seem more than that. Maybe it’s his natural hair color, or maybe it’s the fact that he smiles more now. It’s been a long time since he’s had to raise his voice at you, or worse, lower it. A warm smile crosses your lips, heat flowing into your cheeks as you think about the way he spoke to you last night as he lay between your legs. The way he talks to you when he makes love is your favorite, as if you could do no wrong. As if you’ve never done any wrong, even though you both know that’s not the case.

But you know better now, all thanks to him.

The doorbell rings, a quiet melody breaking across the serene of the apartment. Your head pops up in surprise, you didn’t think he was going out today. Or maybe someone is just visiting. Your lover pauses from where he’s raised the hammer to put the next nail up, an almost inaudible huff pushing through his lips at the interruption and starts to step down.

“Can I get the door, Ken?” It would be nice to help him, you can do this now without making him mad, but it’s always better to ask.

Draken pauses his descent from his perch, and looks at you, considering. “Sure, princess. Go see who it is first.”

Perking up happily, you carefully rise from the couch and flit out of your bedroom and through the quiet living room to the front door to peek through the door viewer. Stepping softly, you retreat from the door to poke your head back into the bedroom where Draken is waiting.

“It’s the Haitani’s, am I allowed to open the door?”

This time he sighs and sets his tools aside, but he still nods at you, so whatever is bothering him isn’t your fault. Permission acquired, you turn to the door, not hiding the sound of your steps now. The doorbell rings three times in quick, annoyed succession before you can reach it, and you undo the bolt, the latch and the door handle switch and pull the door open. You wonder if they’re your company for the day, or if they’re coming to see Draken. It’s not safe for you to be home alone.

"Took you long eno— oh hey, baby. Didn't see you there." Rindou's irritated expression slips into a smirk as you give him a shy smile, opening the door wider and inviting the two brothers in.

"Stop flirting, I'm freezing my ass off," Ran grumbles from behind him, shoving past Rindou and stepping across the doorway into the inviting warmth of your home.

"Just being friendly." Rindou winks at you and closes the door behind him.

"Yeah, yeah, be friendly where it's warm," Ran shrugs his coat off, revealing an expensive suit, and stoops to place a kiss on your cheek, one that you accept gracefully before taking his jacket to hang up.

The fabric is slightly damp, and you wonder if it snowed. "Would you like anything to drink?"

"Maybe later, angel. Where's Draken?" Ran asks, head turning to peer around the dimly lit living area.

"My room."

Ran nods, pushing his hair back and disappearing down the hall. You're moving to follow when Rindou catches your hand, twining his fingers with yours to pull you back to him. He grins down at you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Nah, baby let 'em talk their business. You don't need to worry about that stuff."

"Oh, you're not just here to visit today?" You ask, surprised. Of all Draken's friends and colleagues, the two brothers are the ones to stop by for personal affairs most often.

"Mikey sent us today, but we don’t have to go back right away. Why, did you miss us?" Rindou grins, his fingers inching dangerously close to the top edge of your sleep shorts.

"It's always nice to see you, Rin," you answer softly, shifting your feet self-consciously when his smirk widens.

Content for the moment to tease, he lets you squirm out of his grasp. "I'll take that drink, baby."

Nodding, you turn to the kitchen and pull down enough glasses for the three of them, and the crystal decanter from the cabinet, transporting them to the living room.

Despite requesting the drink, once you set the tray on the coffee table, Rindou pulls you into his lap, ignoring it altogether. His clothes and body are cold from outside, and you can’t help the mewl of discomfort at the frigid touch to your bare legs. His arms slip around your waist, pulling your back snug to his chest, and your arms flash down to keep him from pulling too tightly.

“You gonna keep me warm?” You shiver, his breath hot on your neck before he presses his lips to your thrumming pulse.

“W-wait, s’posed to—”

“I’ll take the heat, baby, just c’mere already. Fuckin’ missed you,” Rindou groans, his pink flushed fingers like ice under your chin as he turns your head back to him, capturing your lips before you can protest further.

Last year, something so spontaneous would have terrified you, but you find yourself, albeit reluctantly, melting into Rindou’s touch, letting yourself moan softly as he takes your lower lip between his teeth.

“There you go,” he coos, palming your breast over your sweater, his head tipping back with a low groan as you wiggle your hips over his growing erection. “Fuck, baby. You miss me that much? You know you can call me when you need me, right?”

You peer back at him over your shoulder with a pout until he grumbles under his breath and tugs you into another kiss, more impatient this time, slick tongue coaxing your mouth to open and let him in.

He knows very well you could never do that. It’s a balance, keeping Rindou happy without being partial. Draken gets jealous, petty even, if you show anyone else too much favor. It was a confusing point for you when you first got together, that if it upset him so much he shouldn’t share you like he does, but now you know that you just hadn’t understood what it meant for him. And now you do, so you play along even if you only want to be his. Now you know how to keep everyone happy, mostly.

Rindou breaks the kiss by pulling your hair at the base of your neck, forcing your head back. You whine your displeasure at the interruption, but he hushes you, lips attacking your throat, nipping and sucking until your whine changes pitch and your throat is hot and stinging, no doubt wreathed in blooming red and purple.

“You know you’re suppos’ta ask, don’t you?” You stiffen as Draken’s voice rumbles across the living room.

Rindou releases your neck with a wet suck. “Yeah, yeah. They know. Tried real hard to stop me, didn’t you baby?” He pinches your clothed tits, forcing your back into an arch as you whine your assent, turning teary eyes on Draken. He looks annoyed, but his dark eyes are pinned on male beneath you.

Ran edges into your peripheral, taking your hand and pulling you safely from his little brother’s lap, dropping his suit jacket over the back of one of the couches. Then and only then does Draken pace forward and swat the back of the younger Haitani’s head. Rindou winces, but looks no less pleased with himself, rubbing a hand over the front of his pants. “C’mon can you blame me? Look at them, how was I supposed to resist?”

You had your head buried in Ran's chest, drinking in the scent from his pressed shirt as he held you, but you peek over your shoulder to see Draken rolling his eyes at Rindou's comment.

"Aren't you cold?" Ran questions, his hands dropping from your ass to toy with the exposed skin at the back of your thighs.

You shake your head. "I had a blanket, it's in my room."

"Don’t see it now… Draken won't mind if we keep you warm then?" Ran turns violet eyes on his friend, and you remain silent.

Draken looks a little annoyed at the question, which is unlike him but you understand. Things are a little different now, and you’re both still feeling it out.

“Oh, c'mon. I know you’ve been touchy lately but it's the giving season isn't it? And we want our favorite toy, our perfect little angel." Ran’s purr is wicked, his fingers squeezing your ass and sending a shiver of warmth up your spine as he snaps at the waistband of your shorts. His words are hushed, right by your ear even as Ran maintains an unwavering stare with your lover. “You know they’ve been missing us too, just too sweet to say it to you.”

You shake your head quickly, before freezing with a moan, as Ran chuckles, his hand slipping into your waistband to cup your pussy, no undergarments to slow his advances. He slides a finger through your folds, finding you already wet from his brother’s toying. “Yeah, there you are.”

Draken sighs and sits down on the opposite couch, one cushion away from Rindou, his eyes stormy, but drawn to the way you tremble under his friend’s touch, clocking the way your breath quickens. “Fine, but make it quick. We’ve got stuff to do.”

Ran doesn’t argue, pulling you into his lap as he sits on the opposite couch. His hand slips under your sweater, fingers trailing up your spine as he coaxes you into a kiss that quickly becomes heated. He doesn’t have time to draw it out today.

Rindou makes a noise of disappointment, but surprisingly doesn’t protest, heaving himself off his couch to slide up behind you. You can feel his arousal against your back, and if your pulse hadn’t already been roaring, it would be now, with one of them behind you and your eyes on Ran. The elder brother lets you go and is pulling back to unbutton his dress shirt when Rindou reclaims your attention, your breath hitching as you feel the sharp point of something under your chin, forcing it up. He looks to Draken, grinning. “There enough time for me to play today?”

Draken pauses for a nail-biting length of time. You want to watch him while he thinks, but Ran has other ideas, taking your hands and encouraging you to run your nails down his chest.

Then you hear him. “Superficial, and leave their stomach alone.”

You feel Rindou crystalize behind you; that’s far from the answer he’s used to receiving. “Why?” he asks, petulance shadowing along with the more overt curiosity.

Ran had stilled beneath you as well, but his mind moves faster and he pulls up your sweater. It’s not obvious right now unless someone knows what they’re looking for, but Ran’s keen eyes take in the slight swell of your stomach. A strangely possessive look enters his eyes and he doesn’t ask, but you don’t have the right to deny him as he places both palms over your stomach, cradling your tiny bump.

Draken shifts behind you, and you, ever conscious of him, glance his way. It’s been so long since you’ve seen that expression on his face, that even if it’s not directed at you, you can’t help the instinctual flutter of fear at the sight of it. Now you’re more certain than ever that you have to be good tonight. He’s been far more possessive of you since the pregnancy was discovered, closer to what you expected him to be like when you first got together. But he still won’t deny them this. Anything that might upset these two will definitely set him off, and you don’t want him angry with you. You much prefer when he’s sweet with you, you get sad when he ignores you. And your emotions are more easily thrown lately.

Rindou takes a single moment to lock eyes with Draken before nodding his assent. The thin edge of the blade trails down your throat, forcing a swallow out of you before you hear something clatter to the coffee table behind you. Surprise tingles across your flesh when you realize he’s dropped the knife, his hands working to tug your sweater over your head. Once the soft fabric is free of your body, his fingers curl around your neck, turning your head up to capture your lips in an aggressive kiss, barely giving you a second to get used to it before he’s prying open your lips and delving his tongue into your mouth.

You whine into Rindou’s mouth as his brother makes quick work of your bra, slender fingers squeezing at the exposed flesh.

“They’re bigger,” Ran comments casually before sitting up to drag his tongue between the valley of your breasts, teasing at your nipples with light tugs. “More sensitive now, I bet?”

Your nails are all but digging into Ran’s chest from all the stimulation, because of course they are. They’re sore all the time, and his touch is so gentle right now, setting all your nerves alight.

"Are they—"

"Not yet, dumbass. 'S way too early for that," Ran cuts off his brother, shifting to undo his belt, catching wind of the impatient look on Draken's face. He pulls his cock free, and the pair of them help you reposition to slide your shorts off, settling your back to Ran's chest.

A low cry gets caught in your throat as he pushes in, the pink head splitting your walls as he eases in. The stretch is immediate, quickly followed by a slight burn.

"Sorry angel, not how I would've done it. But you can take it, just relax for me." Ran coos soothingly, one hand coaxing you to relax deeper into his chest, the other gesturing to Rindou.

Taking the hint, Rindou halts in fisting his own cock, quick to start rubbing on your clit, guiding your hand to take up his abandoned task. He moans at your touch, your fingers curling around his shaft as he leans down to kiss you.

Through the fog of pleasure you remember to stroke him quickly, squeezing at the top the way you know riles him up and it's barely minutes before he's growling into your mouth, his touch getting sharper and faster on your throbbing clit until you're keening back, thighs shaking as you try to sit still for Ran, who's lazily thrusting into your soaking heat, his eyes locked on the way you're pleasing his brother.

"Fuck," Rindou hisses as your spare hand cups his balls, rolling them between your fingers as the begin to pull taut. He bats the silvery strand caught between your lips and pushes his fingers into your mouth, his head dropping back as you suckle obediently, flicking your tongue between his fingers teasingly. "Ran—"

Ran pulls out immediately, leaving you to whimper at the empty feeling, only for Rindou to put one knee between his brother's legs and shift your hips at a higher angle to slide into your dripping cunt with a ragged curse.

His hips jerk unevenly as Rindou thrusts into you, biting back moans as the velvety tightness clamping around his cock, and you give a wordless cry and Ran starts teasing your aching tits with his fingertips again. You can feel his sticky length twitch against the small of your back, his voice low in your ear as his brother fucks you for his own pleasure, his moans getting louder, faster, as he reaches his peak.

"I know it's not enough, but it still feels good, doesn't it? He's a little selfish, but I know you think it looks good on him. You like it when he's lost in you," Ran purrs devilishly, and you gasp, his words twisting something hot in your core, threatening to unravel you right there. Your hips jerk, and Rindou whines as your pussy ripples around him. Ran's voice gets soft, hiding the sharp edge that you know is still there no matter how sweetly he talks. "Nuh uh, don't you dare angel. You're saving that for me right?"

"Yes," you mewl, squirming helplessly as you try not to come. Your thighs are shaking dangerously from the position, legs still spread wide over Ran's thighs. "Won't, I won't. Please, ngh Rin, 'm gonna—"

Rindou groans loudly as his name leaves your mouth in a hiccupped sob, the broken plea enough to send him rocketing into his orgasm, shoving himself deep one more time, flooding your cunt with several thick ropes of cum.

He pulls out, the last of his seed sticking into a mess on your tummy as it twitches against your skin. Rindou sags against you for a moment before Draken grumbles about the pressure on your stomach, and he immediately heaves himself off, sprawling on the couch to your left, brown eyes hazy.

"Up for me angel, turn around."

With Ran's help, he gets you turned around in his lap and sunk down on his cock with a relieved moan, your hips rolling without permission to reignite the fading sparks in your core before they die out. It's wet and sloppy, the sounds of his length thrusting in and out loud with yours and Rin's combined slick and cum.

"So messy, feels s'good," Ran grunts, hands on your hips to help guide your fervent bouncing. His eyes keep flickering from your tits, lingering heavily on your little bump. "Perfect pussy, you gonna make me come? Fuck me, angel, make yourself come on my cock. Let me feel it."

"'M trying, 'm trying. Wanna come," you moan, hips circling, desperately trying to snap the coil that's wound itself so tight you feel like the snap might break you. "Please, help me come. R-ran…" Your pleading trails off with a low keen when he does nothing but watch you with heavy-lidded lust and you know you've gotta do it without him. You're right there. You just need a little more. You just need—

A hand pries one of yours from its death grip on Ran's shoulder, and you look up with teary eyes to see Draken standing behind the second couch, crouching to your eye level as he twines his fingers with yours.

"Princess." It's the soft encouragement in his tone, that has you spiraling over the edge, your jaw going slack, vision going white. Pleasure sings in your veins as you clutch tighter at Draken's hand, only vaguely aware of Ran's string of curses as he grinds into your spasming walls, finding his end in the rippling vice of your pussy.

"There you go," Draken murmurs, fingers soothing your scalp with light scratches as you come down. He walks around the edge of the couch and helps you to your feet, your legs leaden and shaky from all the exertion. You cling to him for support, shaking your head when he tries to lower you to the clean couch.

"No?"

"'M dirty, that isn't."

Draken scoffs in amusement. "So?" You pout and he sighs in defeat. "Shower? Do you want me to carry you?"

You shake your head, glancing at the brothers shyly. "Just don't be long."

"'Kay, baby." He places a kiss on your forehead, and you smile at him before going to your bedroom to find a towel for the obscene mess between your thighs.

Rindou plies Draken with questions the moment you leave the room.

“How long has it been?”

“Doc thinks it’s about 18 weeks.”

“Do you know what it is yet?”

“We’ve got a home visit coming up soon. Doc’s schedule isn’t open til after the holidays, we’ll find out then.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Rindou demands, the tone of his voice hard to read. When Draken doesn’t answer, he asks the one thing that he most wants to know. “So whose is it? The baby.”

“Mine,” Draken grunts, sipping from his glass, eyes flicking to the hall as the shower starts, the sound of water hitting tile clear in the beat of silence that follows his response.

Then Rindou finally looks around for his shirt, swiping it from off the floor where it landed, and recovers. “Yeah, yeah, you fuck ‘em the most. But are you sure? Did you run a test? It’s not like we’re the only ones who fuck them. Could be Sanzu’s, Koko’s, even Mik—” Draken kisses his teeth in irritation, and Rindou shrugs, backing off. Ran looks to Draken at the question, his silence indicating that he’s also waiting on the answer.

“Whoever’s fault it is, it’s mine.” Draken says calmly and clearly, making it clear that he’s not expanding on the subject anymore.

“Congrats,” Ran mumbles, sharing an unseen loaded look with his brother when Draken glances down the hall again. “We’ll see ourselves out, go help them.”

The brothers make themselves presentable as Draken disappears down the hall with a nod of thanks.

“His temper lately makes sense now,” Ran comments once he's farther away, tucking himself away and tugging the zipper of his pants.

Rindou mutters under his breath. “Think we can tell the others?”

“Nah,” Ran hums, a grin curling his lips. “Think we’d be able to come over as much if everyone knew? They’re all gonna want to see ‘em more once they find out. Let them wait a bit more.”

An understanding gleam enters Rindou’s eyes, and he nods silently, shrugging into his coat.

“Besides, I’m more interested in seeing how this affects the deal Draken made,” Ran adds, pulling open the front door, a gust of snow billowing through the warm living room before he closes it behind them. “A baby changes everything. You know he won’t let it slide, whose the kid is.”

"You think Mikey'd take them back? If it's not Draken's?"

Ran pauses for a moment, considering. His violet eyes turn skyward, watching the snow begin to clump thicker in the air. Eventually he shrugs. "I dunno. But it's not something I'd bet big against. They're both possessive assholes, not that I blame them all things considered."

Rindou chuckles. "I wonder how hard they'd even fight it. It's clear they love Draken, but that submission… it's worked out well for everyone. Maybe we'll get them back. Koko would be thrilled, that's for sure."

That earns a noncommittal hum from his brother, but garners no response.

"Fuck it's cold," Rindou grumbles finally, shoving his hands in his pockets as the snow collects in his hair. He sends one last longing glance at the door behind him. "Call a fucking cab next time.”

Draken silently steps away from the front door, padding down the hall and slipping into the bathroom.

“Princess, you okay?”

“I’m fine.” The shower curtain rattles as you pull back the colored fabric to peek out at him, steam billowing out of the gap. “Are you coming in?”

“Do you want me to?”

You take the barest of seconds to glance at him, taking in the fond curve of his lips, shadowed by the slight hunch of his eyebrows, and are quick to answer. If you do it right, you can always wipe away any budding insecurity the brother’s might have planted when you left the room. Those two do that often enough that you’re used to it, used to the way they get under Draken’s skin. He told you that a long time ago they didn’t used to be friends, but that was before Mikey brought them all together. Sometimes you think you see tiny hints of their old animosity, but it’s always gone so quickly that you’re never sure until you’re mulling it over later in the night.

“Of course, Ken. I need your help.”

You grin as Draken immediately pulls his shirt over his head, revealing the detailed twin dragons on his chest, your eyes lingering on the one that rests between his pectorals, set in the gap of serpents’ opposing maws. The one each of his friends seem to have somewhere. He’d gotten it not long after you’d moved in, and you remembered the tense moments where you’d catch him glaring at it in his own reflection. But his eyes would always soften if he caught you looking. Despite how he does everything he can to baby you, you know better. You know what he does to be able to take care of you, what’s expected of him. It would take a lot more than endless soft words and pampering to go unaware of the plain package parcels that go through your home, to cover the smell of blood.

His pants are crumpled to the bathroom floor moments later, and then he’s joining you in the steamy water. “What d'you need, baby?”

“Help me get it out?” Draken’s eyes spark with fire as you slide wet fingers down his arm and pull his hand between your thighs.

A low groan spills from his throat as his fingers slide through your folds, slipping through the leftover cum that still stained the walls of your pussy. He leans closer and presses a hot kiss to your cheek. You can feel the temperature of his lips more distinctively than the water beating down on your back. “You really want it out?”

“Want yours, Ken. Not theirs. Get it out,” you whine at the end, pressing your forehead to his chest as he plunges his fingers into your cunt, still so sensitive from the brothers’ assault. “Ah!”

“Shh, I got you.” Draken’s voice is a little deeper now, desire laden, as he murmurs soft encouragements, his fingers twisting and grazing against that spot in you that has you gripping his forearm helplessly, leaning against the tile to keep from falling. He knows you better now to know you’re not trying to stop him, simply a kneejerk reaction to the pleasure. He pulls his fingers out, grasping your waist to steady you instead, his eyes staring intently at your little bump. “Careful, baby. Turn around.”

Breathlessly, you comply, putting your palms flat to the tile and moaning when he presses on the small of your back, having you push your hips out just a little. “Good?” He rumbles. You hear him unhook the showerhead and tell him yes, blood hot with anticipation.

Your squeal bounces off the walls of the bathroom when he presses the jet of water to your slit, the heat and the pressure enough to make your knees weak.

Draken hums, keeping your steady with a hand on your hip, pressing more firmly and shifting the stream lower, away from your clit. Your mewls are softer now, just like the pleasure, tilting your hips down against the water; it still feels good, heightened by your lover’s touch, knowing his gaze is locked on you.

After a couple minutes, he notices you begin to shiver, your skin rising with goosebumps, wet and no longer under the full warmth of the showerhead. He reclips it and turns you back to face him. There’s no complaint from you when he captures your lips in a kiss, his fingers slipping into the warmth of your pussy, immediately angling at the soft lining of your outer wall, working you towards a quick release with a touch that betrays just how well he knows your body.

His breath is labored against your neck where he buries his head, lips pressing to your collarbone intermittently, occasional grazes of his teeth. Your hips jerk into his efforts as his thumb presses on your throbbing clit, almost keening at how sensitive it is, so close to flying over the edge.

“Let go for me, I need you baby. Go on,” Draken rumbles, voice tight, but you’re coming before he’s even finished speaking, the knowledge, no, the admittance—that this man needs you, causes bliss to light up every circuit you possess. His fingers continue to crook at your walls, guiding you through a pleasure you’d never have dreamed of before him.

“One more? You got one more for me, right?” His groan is ragged as he hooks one of your thighs under his arm, leaving you on one leg but keeping you steady as he sinks into you, his cock pulsing as your slick walls stretch to accommodate his girth. You don’t even care that your body is thrumming and oversensitive, the desire to be as close to him as possible, to feel him consume you, is everything. Draken knows what’s best for you, always has.

His pace is slow, measured, but you can tell he’s as desperate as you are, his lips on yours, on your cheeks, your throat, kissing your eyelids every time they close, the water cascading around you, all but forgotten as your bodies move as one. It’s not about pleasure, it’s about being together, the joy of it.

“You’re so beautiful,” Draken moans, water dripping down his neck and shoulders. “So perfect. Every day, so good for me.”

“I need it, Ken,” you gasp, clawing at his back, desperation making your voice hoarse. “Please, please.”

Draken hisses as your nails drag red lines into his skin, but his eyes lose none of their intensity as he presses his forehead to yours. “Come with me—” your name tears from his lips in a low whine as pleasure unravels in his gut like a snapped coil, his hips stuttering as he releases inside you with a ragged groan, but he doesn’t stop, fucking it deeper. “Come for me, come, f-fuck—”

His chant doesn’t stop, and you watch his face contort as he continues to come, bliss easing his features and making him look softer, and Draken’s never looked more beautiful. You follow after him with a low cry, clutching him tight as the pleasure waterfalls through your body, leaving you breathless and unsteady, never happier.

“Love you, Ken.”

Draken smiles, peppering your throat with kisses and wrinkling his nose at the now even more prominent hickies Rindou left behind. "Let's go lay down, you've gotta be tired after all that."

Smiling and nodding, you turn off the shower, loosing happy sighs as Draken insists on toweling you dry, soothing aching muscles, and spending a euphoric amount of time eye level with your belly, his eyes closed and cheek resting against it, as if he could hear your baby if he tried hard enough.

But eventually he bundles you into the bedroom, helping you into some warm pajamas and turning the lights off and tv on. The fairy lights left the room with a soft glow, aided by the silver light of the tv, featuring some holiday special that tickles a memory from a different time.

After a few minutes you hear him mumble something about "closer" right before he lowers your pj's and you feel his cock pressing on your entrance. You hum, too comfortable to protest. With his arms around you, palming your stomach, tucked deep under the duvet, you feel warm and safe and moments from sleep with his cock pressed deep inside you.

Draken’s voice is a little hoarse, enough to bring you out of your drowsing with a pang of concern, but it strengthens with each syllable. “What do you think about moving somewhere else? What if we just disappeared, you and me?”

“Where would we go? What about your friends?” It's hard to imagine, you can hardly remember what it's like to leave the house, let alone leave the city you grew up in.

“We could go lots of places, travel the world even.” You notice he doesn’t answer your second question, but you figure that it’s not important enough to answer.

“I’ll go anywhere with you, Ken.” You whisper, and you know it’s true. Despite everything it took to bring you both together, you know you’d do anything for him. Anything for his child, your child. “As long as we stay together.”

“Then we’ll go,” Draken murmurs, holding you closer as you begin to drift to sleep, exhausted and content. “Just our family.”

© All rights reserved to @ryndicate. Do not modify, translate or repost

#draken x reader #ran x reader #rindou x reader #tokrev x reader #tr x reader #draken smut #ran smut #rindou smut #tr smut #tokrev smut #tw::creampie #tw::kidnapping #tw::knives #tw::pregnancy #tw::stockholm #aurasecretsanta

[obsessivelyloved]

I'm obsessed with this youtube video on exploring old dead games

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The upbeat tunes were eerie to listen to as he explored the game. It sounded quite similar to things he heard growing up, from commercials for these computer games he was never allowed to play. The family computer was really just his parent's computer. And they never trusted these types of games. 

His parents had claimed that anyone talking to people online was a weirdo. So. Anything with people in it was a no-go. It was his handheld game or nothing. 

 So it was cool, in a way, to explore this online game. It was empty, devoid of life, but it was interesting. Even with the unnerving tunes. 

It made Edd wish a little that his parents hadn’t been so strict about online safety when he was a kid. He would have loved making new friends on this game's servers in its hayday. Because contrary to their beliefs, not everyone online was a gross weirdo trying to get kid’s home addresses. 

Ugh, Edd did not miss seeing those PSAs on the tv or hearing about them in school.

Edd sighed as his avatar stopped moving. The building he was trying to enter was trying so hard to render and load. It had been so long since this particular server had been updated, let alone used by people. He had to wait a lot for textures and stuff to load. 

It took a few minutes, but shop after shop started appearing. Then the floor texture loaded, then…. a person! 

Edd wiggled his mouse and tapped on his arrow key, impatiently wanting his character to move already. This was the first person he’s seen in this game! And he tried six servers already! 

But as he got closer to the other person, his face fell. There was no username hovering above the avatar. It was merely an NPC. Or a statue, since it wasn’t moving. 

“Aw man,” Edd muttered, slumping down. He’d just have to keep an eye out as he explored forgotten worlds. 

Still, he moved closer to check out the statue. Finally close enough to see it, he stopped.

What the hell? Edd thought to himself. The statue was plain, up until you got to its eyes. It appeared to be a man, with black pants and a blue hoodie. With large, black empty eyes. 

Edd huffed. It was probably someone’s last project, a way to scare anyone exploring. He moved around the statue, giving it one last look, before he moved on. 

As expected, the game freaked out as he left the building. Slowly, the world loaded, grass and buildings popping up. 

Edd moved on, lagging as he interacted with things. 

He found the statue again. 

This time, it was sitting on a park bench. Watching him, no matter which direction he went. And it kept appearing in places Edd’s avatar stopped at, while the world loaded. Whoever’s idea it was to scare new players, it was working. 

Edd went to click on the leave server button but…. nothing happened. Goddammit. He was going to have to close the game and then wait forever for it to load back up. 

Tom: leaving so soon?

Edd stared at the chat, baffled. He spun his avatar around, searching for another player. Not a single user name popped up in sight. Let alone another avatar. Who was talking to him? 

Colalover15: hi! have you been following me? 

Edd nervously typed. He didn’t feel like getting jumpscared by some random player. This game was unintentionally scary already. 

Tom: yes. you are the first player I’ve seen in a long time. no one joins anymore. 

Colalover15: I bet! I’ve joined six servers and haven’t seen a single person lol. do you play often? where are you? 

Tom: I’m right in front of you. 

Oh hell no. The only thing in front of him was the statue. That’s it, Edd was done. He was not participating in a creepypasta or urban legend. 

He clicked the X button on the window and waited. And tried again. And again. 

He frowned, his heart beginning to beat fast. 

Tom: why are you trying to leave? aren’t you having fun? 

Tom: are you bored of this world? 

Faster than the game had been loading all night, the world changed. A new map appeared, a different set of cheerful music playing. Edd grimaced, quickly muting his volume. This one was actively giving him a headache. 

He was in a room now, the walls gray and furniture scattered around. Things he was sure kids in the early 2000s would have loved popped up. 

Obscure and old pop artist pictures, ads, and activities flooded the walls of what Edd assumed to be a hub building. The statue was still standing in front of him. 

Tom: is this better? 

Colalover15: it’s very interesting! i haven’t seen some of this stuff in years. how did you do that? are you a dev? 

Edd hoped this was just a weird dev messing with him. But, still, it was best to be polite. Just in case. As he waited for the person’s reply, he ventured closer to the pictures on the walls. As expected, the links on them were dead. Each webpage was long gone.

Tom: Is it not 2004? 

Can of worms. This was a can of worms Edd did not want to fucking open. Since closing the game window wasn’t working, he clicked his power button. To his horror, nothing happened. Perhaps it was a bit over dramatic, but he yanked out the computer’s power cord. 

His screen flickered, then turned off. Ugh, Edd really hoped that the game hadn’t turned out to have a virus or anything malicious in the code. He really couldn’t afford to replace his desktop. And his parents would be so mad at him… 

Speaking of parents, it was a school night. It was best that he got to bed before one of them got up. 

He laid down on his side, facing his wall. With his heart still racing, he snuggled into his blankets. As scary as that was, he was pretty excited to tell his friends at school about it. At the very least, Tord would like it. Then, they could explore it together at his house, on his computer. 

Just as Edd was falling asleep, cheery pop music played on a low volume. 

Someone was standing behind him.

#platonic yandere #tw yandere #yandere tw #yandere drabble #yandere fic #yandere ew #yandere cw #cw yandere #yandere eddsworld #yandere tom