#^ unrealistic thoughts of what life is like in france

[flowerofbuffoonery]

I want to be in France, stuffing my face in pastries and bicycling my life away.

#^ unrealistic thoughts of what life is like in france #takemeaway #I didn't learn French for it to never be used. please i probably forgot half of everything i've learned

[goetiae]

Black Butler deals with the topic of blood transfusion in the arc(s) centered around O!Ciel's twin brother and Undertaker's experiments in reviving the dead.

While the story is fictional, Yana Toboso does manage to introduce a few concepts about blood transfusion that are historically true to how it was handled in the Late Victorian period that the series is set in. However, like any fictional piece it also features multiple unrealistic episodes which simply would not have taken place in the Victorian era in the way that it did in the series.

Blood transfusions were still a novelty in the medical field: the procedure dates back as recently as the 17th century. William Harvey conducted experiments on blood and concluded that it circulates indefinitely (Du Motu Cordis, 1628). The matter of circulation in the manga was brought up by Othello, and it is in fact interesting that for Victorians it was still a fairly recent discovery.

The first blood transfusions were not used to assist people suffering blood loss - instead, they had to deal with attempting to cure damage received by the body after giving birth. Most early transfusions happened to try and resolve the issue of postpartum hemorrhage in women. Despite women being largely in the focus, men were mostly seen as proper donors: Anne Marie Moulin writes that in nineteenth-century transfusion, women were rarely donors, as their blood was held to be less plentiful and vital.

What we do not witness in Black Butler is the widespread usage of interspecies blood transfusion: delivery of blood to humans from lambs, cows, calves, dogs, and such. Jean-Baptiste Denis was a pioneer of the procedure and conducted his first lamb-to-human transfusion in 1667. However, we are familiarized with the thought expressed by two characters, Sieglinde and Othello: the history of blood transfusion is a complicated one, and for a good reason.

After being banned for nearly two centuries since its birth in France, blood transfusion revitalized in the 19th century in England with the work of James Blundell who concluded that animal transfusion did not prove to be effective and first worked with a human subject. Some of his experiments were successful, some not, though he persisted.

Interestingly, Blundell was an avid believer in the nourishing, nearly life-giving qualities of blood transfusion. He spoke of it as if introduction of new blood into the body literally had the ability to bring back the dead: a sentiment perhaps reflected in Undertaker's experiments to revive R!Ciel.

His experiments went far enough to lead to the invention of an "impellor", a tool that is a mix of a pump and a funnel used for direct blood transfusion. He also invented a "gravitator", a chair with an additional tool to collect blood before it's delivered to the patient. Similar tools can be seen being used on the victims kidnapped to supply R!Ciel, and on himself.

R!Ciel seems to remain in elevation for his transfusions, which is something that was believed to be helpful as gravitational flow dragged blood into the vein. The tool that Undertaker is using clearly has a pump, which is also true to how transfusions were done. It should be additionally noted that nasal cannula R!Ciel is wearing in later chapters would not be invented until 1949.

Further inventions and discoveries in the field were made: Thomas Smith used defibrilated blood for transfusions and M.B. Higginson invented a special syringe that was, however, later used for other purposes. A new leap in transfusion methods was attempted by T. G. Thomas who, knowing of blood's tendency to coagulate, argued that it's best to use milk - a practice that had its roots in Canada and the US. The dangers of blood transfusion due to contamination began to be spoken about only around the second half of the century when Joseph Lister invented (1867) antiseptics.

Interestingly, the phenomenon of blood coagulation is slightly touched upon in the manga: Siegliende marks that mixing two types of blood together leads to the mixture thickening.

In the very end of the century, medicine saw invention of a saline mixture, which is employed as 0,9% Normal Saline in blood transfusions even nowadays. William Brooke O'Shaughnessy and Thomas A. Latta experimented on both dogs and humans with a saline mixture, remarking that it revitalized their patients well.

The Medical Journal Records of 1883 speak of use of saline in treating cholera patients during the epidemics; multiple cases of use are also marked in the British Medical Journal. These interesting details did not make it to the manga as of now, though it does additionally emphasize how unlikely blood transfusions were by the end of the century and how greatly the practice went into decay. This does, however, explain the secrecy with which Undertaker acts.

Lastly, Siegliende and Othello both note that not knowing of blood types was indeed a great obstacle in the medical field at the time. The history of transfusions is full of unfortunate cases and failed experiments with many victims: ensuring blood transfusion's success was impossible until 1901 when blood types were first discovered by Karl Lendsteiner.

#༺♚༻ 𝕬nima e 𝕮uore ༺♞༻ #༺☤༻ 𝕸𝔢𝔡𝔦𝔠𝔦𝔫𝔞 ༺☤༻ #kuroshitsuji #black butler #historyblr #victorian era #victorian history #medical history #sieglinde sullivan #othello black butler

[kiatheinsomniac]

For assassin creed, as I need more Desmond Miles in my life and wondering in a hc what it would be to be his twins sister who too ranaway with him from home to start a different life together as normal

But, instead of him being kidnapped and being sent to the simulator it was her because angst and sibling comfort

Notes: This is such an interesting request! I hope that this doesn't come across as a crackfic but honestly I know that siblings would just tease each other even more in a situation like this bc it's familiar and comforting and I didn't want to write that "Hey bro/sis!" relationship that only children manage to slip into. It feels off and unrealistic lol.

Pairing: Twin! Desmond, Twin! Reader

Word count: 0.8k

The Miles twins

Before the assassins had found him, Desmond hadn’t thought too much of when Abstergo’s agents had gone from harassing and stalking him to leaving him alone for seemingly no reason at all. Now he knew. 

They had stopped pursuing him because they had caught you instead. 

He has assumed that you had left the country: the two of you had run away together but you weren’t satisfied with the simple life that Desmond led, you wanted to get far away and start afresh in an entirely new country. You had always dreamed of leaving The States and settling down in some rural place in southern France so he found himself stumbling up to the rooftop for air when Shaun informed him that they’d been tipped off about Abstergo having his twin sister. He should have warned you, should have crossed all of The States and France if he had to in order to make sure you had means to protect yourself. 

Of course they would go after you! Abstergo had wanted him for his DNA and you were the next closest thing that could still give them exactly what they needed! His chest felt tight and he sat down on the concrete of the roof. The city was alive beneath him, playing its multicolor lightshow and its urban symphony. He could barely see it through his tears, streaks of light, could barely hear it over his hammering heart, a detonator. He dropped his head between his knees as he thought back to the shifts you had shared at the bar, the banter, the way you would throw a pillow at him in your tiny shared apartment if he didn’t wake with his alarm, how you wore odd socks more often than not. What were they doing to you in there? Were they hurting you? 

“Hey, come on now.” Rebecca’s voice beside him, a hand resting firmly on Desmond’s shoulder, grounding him, “We’ll start planning a rescue right away, if she’s your family then she belongs here with us. We’ll contact Lucy as soon as we’re able to and we’ll get her out of there. Desmond nodded his head, swallowing hard as he thought over moments with you that had seemed so mundane at the time. Now, with the danger that you were currently in, they were beyond precious. “When you’re ready, come back to the animus. We can help her a hell of a lot more if we have a PoE.” Desmond nodded his head without raising his eyes from the floor. He was worried sick and knew he would need a while before he felt ready to go into the animus. 

He took a deep breath as he heard the door to the roof shut. Rebecca was right: there was a lot more he could do to help you with a Piece of Eden in his possession. 

“Alright, Ezio, let’s see what you’ve got to show me…” 

<><><><><><><><><><><>

In the end, Lucy had managed to snatch you from Abstergo’s HQ before the assassins could discover when and where Ezio had encountered a piece of Eden in his life, Desmond finding himself wandering the streets and canals of Renaissance Venice in his ancestor’s memories. 

The assassins had assumed that you had been doing the same thing but came to find that you had been following the memories of Syrian assassin Altaïr Ibn-La’Ahad, tracking down a piece of eden that he ran into during the third crusade. When Lucy walked you into the apartment above the warehouse that the assassins had set up their temporary base in, Desmond froze utterly when he saw the face that was so familiar to him: the one that almost looked like the one who stared back at him in the mirror but not quite. 

You ran to him before he could react, slamming into his chest and almost knocking him over as you tackled him into a hug. It took him a moment to react before his tattooed arms were locking around you, crushing you to his chest. 

“You’re alive.” He whispered. 

“I had to stay alive.” You murmured out and he cringed at the hoarseness of your voice, the feeling of some of your bones pressing to him in poor health, “Who else is gonna make sure you wake up on time?” He laughed slightly at that and felt how you held him tighter. 

“You should rest.” He murmured, “Then we can talk about what happens next.” 

“I’m staying with you. I need to finish Altaïr’s memories and I’m not letting those bastards win after that they put me through.” 

“Welcome to the Brotherhood. First mission: sleep then get something to eat. For 100% synchronisation, make it a hot meal.” You pulled away from the hug with a smile tugging at your lips, eyeing up the bed at the back of the room. 

“Yeah, yeah, inferior Miles, I got it.” 

“Inferior Miles?” Shaun highlighted. 

“Duh. I’m the better one. That’s why Abstergo wanted me.” You had a content smile on your face as you snuggled down into the covers, feeling that such a soft bed was a blessing after the excuses for mattresses that Abstergo provided their subjects with. “No comments, inferior Miles?” You jabbed. 

“No. You get to be the superior Miles for the next few hours. Don’t abuse your privileges.” 

“Court jester dance. Now.”

“No.” 

“Fair enough.” You closed your eyes and the feeling of safety, a warm bed and your brother being near was comfort enough to instantly lull you to sleep.

#desmond miles x reader #desmond miles #twin! desmond miles #familial x reader

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

He could have made those 2 years go much better for her by allowing a few actual nice couple photos of them rather than all the sneaky pics. Because when you are in a relationship, it is not just about what you want and need, it is about what your partner wants and needs.

Are you friends with Fran or are you perhaps herself? Because how would you even know what the best for Fran was in that relationship. There relationship, along with Haley's were the most private ones he's ever had. It's funny how the human brain works because apparently there is a phenomenon that when we don't get enough information on something, the brain tries to compensate that blank with made up fanfiction and projection of your own beliefs. It's quite interesting. And about that last sentence: It's about what both want, and respecting either's wishes and boundaries. You use Frances being "unable" to be claimed and get nice couple photos, as a reason as to why Evan wasn't nice to her, but don't see it as a violation of Evan's privacy to have his romantic and sexual life exposed to thousands of strangers without his consent? Besides, you have no idea about the intentions of that. Ever thought about Evan maybe trying to protect her from fans like you from harassment. Maybe it's because it's his right to live a life in peace and out of the public eye? You are just so unrealistic in your expectation. Their relationship was an exception, it can't be compared to two normies dating and one of them not claiming them publicly. This is normie and super successful hollywood actor with a huge fanbase and million eyes on him. You also need to understand that celebrities making their relationships public is also PR for them and is part of their business. It's Evan's right to not want to commercialize his relationship, and not wanting to participate in that. People have gotten way to used to celebrities oversharing and exposing each aspect of their private life that when cases happen where a celebrity isn't comfortable with that anymore, fans get entitled to it and project all sorts of things on the celeb. And Frances not being claimed as his public gf at the time, didn't negatively impact her life in any form. It wasn't like he was hiding her, they went out publicly, he even brought her to the VF which is a public event. He did claim her as a gf, just not publicly. The photo of the VF shows him off guard, because it looked like she just flung her arms around him unexpectedly. But even here you insert negative intentions on Evan. Maybe it's your unrealistic views and the fantasy world you've lost yourself in that's the problem, nonnie. Not Evan Peters living his private life. Sorry for the rant admin needed to get this out. ✌️

don't apologize, i truly appreciate you sharing and i completely agree! thank you!

[rhinestonelady]

Why are you disappointed in skam france?

Hi anon! Thanks for asking. Ill try to explain, but I don’t know if it’s gonna be really clear. TW R*pe/sexual assault

Ok, so, I usually don’t expect much from Skam France anyway, but this season’s topic makes me relate to Anais a lot. The reason I was disappointed yesterday is because of the portrayal of Hugo (for those who don’t know, it’s Anais boyfriend, who has r*ped her). Until that point, I thought the season had been really good at portraying how their relationship worked, and how Hugo acted as a person. He was portrayed to be a generally nice person, even though he had assaulted her. Last night however, he publicly shouted at Anaïs’ friend Sasha because she declined drinking, explicitly displaying a controlling and aggressive behaviour.

That outburst last night disappointed me and made me kind of angry because it’s so unrealistic. Why? Because it portrays sexual assaulters as mean-spirited, violent and generally aggressive people. While this can absolutely be the case, most of them are actually not. Sexual misconduct by men is not a product of one’s personality, but product of a system and of the way men are taught about women: what it means is that any man can be a predator, even if he’s nice, even if he’s well liked, even if he’s smart or educated, etc…

Reducing predators to that specific type of person is a harmful stereotype, because then victims of such abuse will tend to recognise harm only when it’s done in that specific way, and not when it’s done more insidiously. Portraying him that way is simplistic and a pure refusal to acknowledge the reality of who the predators are and how they act in public and in their relationships. It also reduces the complexity of Anais and Hugo’s relationship, making it a lot simpler for her to see the reality of his nature since her friends have now been here to witness it. It just think the whole clip lacks a whole lot of nuance, and could have been done way better. For example, if Hugo had "only" kept on insisting a little bit too much, but then switched tracks just before the situation had gotten actually tense, displaying his controlling behaviour but also his understanding of social cues and when not to push them.

I can’t help but compare this season to the absolute masterpiece that is Skam España season 3, which too tackles toxic relationships but in a much more nuanced way. Nora’s boyfriend in SkamEs takes his time building trust and a deep emotional bond with her before beginning to be abusive. He also plays really nice around her friends, while in private trying to isolate her from them. And that is exactly why it becomes so hard for her to actually come to terms and recognise the abuse she’s putting up with. Hugo, by comparison, is very explicitly aggressive and coercive when he lashes out to Anais’s friend in front of his own friends and for a really minor reason

It just bugs me so much when relationships like that are portrayed in an overly simplistic way while pretending to actually tackle the subject in depth. It gives a false sense of what reality would be like, and doesn’t give the viewer the correct tools to recognise it and prevent it from happening in their own life

#again don’t know if I’m clear #i just really hated that #skam france

[roachyreads]

Book #3 of 2022

"The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue" by V. E. Schwab

Spoiler-free Summary: This story follows the life of Adeline "Addie" LaRue, a young woman born to a small town in France in the year 1714. In a desperate attempt to keep her individual autonomy, Addie makes a deal with a weird and dangerous stranger in the woods - one that her mentor warned her never to pray to. Cursed with the ability to live forever, but not being able to be remembered by anyone she meets, Addie tries to find a way to make her mark on a world that is doomed to forget her... until she turns 300 and meets a certain someone that changes everything.

Full thoughts below the cut :) ((Psst! Suggest your fave book to me here! https://bit.ly/3s1QWh0))

- This was an interesting read, to say the least. I really wasn't sure what to expect when starting this book... I always really enjoy historical fiction, especially spanning across decades. I really enjoyed the way that the book chapters flipped back and forth between early-1700s France (when she first got cursed) and 2013 New York City. It gave the story itself some weird vibes at times, but overall it really helped me get engrossed in the story.

- I love the name Adeline. I have a close connection with that name, and seeing it used in literature is so refreshing, since you don't get to see it very often. This may seem small, but it meant a lot.

- Seeing the different sociological interventions that the author included in each timeline was so interesting to me. In one chapter, you would be reading about the poor-mans slums in Paris, France, the next you are reading about a quaint but hipster-ish coffeeshop in NYC. A little culturally jostling, but not necessarily a bad thing. It put everything into a unique perspective.

- I will say, though, it was kinda hard to keep track of what time period you were in. I often found myself having to flip to the beginning of the book or chapter just to see what date the characters were in. There are dates at the beginnings of each chapter, but I would have loved to see a small denote about how long after Addie's curse each chapter was. It was hard to keep the dates straight.

- YAY FOR LGBTQ+ REPRESENTATION!!!!!

- I was mildly disappointed when I slowly began to realize that this was more of a romance book more than anything. Don't get me wrong, romance and relationships are welcomed themes in my book (pun intended), but this one was a little overwhelming. Once Addie met Henry, practically ALL of the chapters became about him and his relation to the story. I liked Henry, I thought he was a good character and played a big role in the story/Addie's development, but I would have liked to see a bit more about Addie's interaction with the world as an immortal person.

- FOR EXAMPLE the author kept mentioning in the book that Addie has lived through so many societal milestones (wars, recessions, diseases, political tensions, inventions), but did nothing to really expand upon that idea. I would have LOOOVED to see Addie navigating different cities at different points in time, or at least a little bit about her interaction with some of these huge happenings in the world, but unfortunately that doesn't happen much (exception for the French Revolution chapter (which also got turned into a romance/sex chapter near the end of it, so I'm not sure if it counts)

- I was INCREDIBLY dissatisfied with the ending. Addie not ending up with Henry was definitely a twist, and her spending the rest of her life with Luc seemed really.... unrealistic, I suppose. The author builds this whole idea up that Luc is this powerful demon who has cursed people throughout the span of centuries, and yet, he fell in love with Addie to such a possessive point that it seemed a bit Stockholm-ish.

- However, to contradict, I really DID like the "meta" ending of Henry being the one to have written the book and "reviving" Addie's story. It seemed like a good wraparound... but not enough to make THIS reader still pissed that Addie and Henry didn't end up together at the end lol

- Overall, I think this book did an amazing job capturing a really unique idea - living eternally, without ever being remembered - in a really captivating story. I don't want my critiques to overshadow it's accomplishments; I really did enjoy this read. It made me feel butterflies in my stomach whenever the main character was happy and not suffering from her affliction; I also ended up relating to her near the end of it. I just wish it had included a little bit more of the 'historical' and less of the 'sex with men who wont remember me in the morning, so i just look like a prostitute and that sucks'. Still, a very very good and easy read to add to your arsenal.

BEST /|\(^-A-^)/|\ ~ROACHY

#books #book review #book blog #book tumblr #booklr #literary fiction #historical fiction #fursona #furry #sfw furry #anthro #2022 reads #book reccs #book recs wanted #goodreads

[ugly-anastasia]

Friday, November 3 -- Everyone’s a Critic: Write ten reviews that your character would leave for books on Goodreads, movies on Letterboxd, or something similar! Include their star rating. 

ANASTASIA TREMAINE'S DIARY, 2002

This book is now going to be for movie reviews!!! I have decided that I am going to be a journalist and to be a journalist you have to have bye-lines. I am going to be a critic which means you are the one who tells people which movies are good and which are not. So we are starting off with the best movie ever, Anastasia.

ANASTASIA (Five Stars)

This movie is the best movie. It's about a girl named Anya and she has the prettiest hair and she thinks she's an orphan in France but really she is a princess and her name is actually Anastasia!!! And her family died in the war but she survived and now she has to learn how to be a princess. And this boy Demitri falls in love with her (he's SOOO cute) and there's this scary wizard guy but she defeats him in the end. I would highly recommend this movie to anyone.

THE SWYNLAKE PRIMARY WEEKLY NEWS, 2003

Film Review: What A Girl Wants (Reviewed by Anastasia Tremaine)

THREE STARS

This film was very unrealistic. Amanda Bynes and Colin Firth both had an excellent performance, and the song by Christina Aguilera was very good as well. However, it really doesn't make sense that Henry Dashwood did not know he had a daughter all this time and then as soon as she shows up he just stops caring about his actual stepdaughter-to-be so that he can spoil this girl he's never met before. I think Daphne was actually the villain of this movie. But it still gets three stars for the sountrack. Also the costume department did an excellent job.

THE SWYNLAKE SECONDARY SUN, 2004

Film Review: The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (Reviewed by Anastasia Tremaine)

TWO STARS

This film had many good qualities. It showed how many important duties Princess Mia had to learn in order to run a country. It also had some very good performances by Anne Hathaway, Chris Pine, and of course Julie Andrews. However, the end of the movie was a huge mistake. Andrew was a perfectly good option for Mia to marry and she put on this whole big fancy royal wedding only to humiliate him at the altar. I get that she was in love with Lord Nicholas, but she should have let Andrew down more nicely. Or maybe just married him. He was a perfectly nice person. For that, I have to give it a score of two stars.

THE SWYNLAKE SECONDARY SUN, 2009

Film Review: 500 Days of Summer (Reviewed by Anastasia Tremaine)

ONE STAR

This movie was so awkward. I'm sorry, but it's so unattractive to pine after the same girl all summer when she obviously isn't into you, and she's not even that pretty. Get a life, Joseph Gordon Levitt! Ugh. Embarrassing. If you like this movie, you're probably a loser too.

THE SWYNLAKE SECONDARY SUN, 2013

Film Review: The Great Gatsby (Reviewed by Anastasia Tremaine)

FIVE STARS

An absolutely gorgeous film. Leonardo DiCaprio is a genius, as is Tobey Maguire. The visuals were stunning and I adored Lana Del Rey's contributions to the soundtrack. One must wonder: where are the modern men who will rise to this level of romance and grand gestures? Perhaps we can all learn something from this masterpiece of a film.

IMDB, FIFTY SHADES OF GREY (2015)

by user annieratesfilms

FIVE STARS

I don't know what all the feminist uproar about this movie is lol. If Christian Grey wanted to give Ana all these things and fly her around the world, he should be allowed to. It's called being romantic. No wonder people say chivalry is dead, it's because every time a man tries to be romantic people rip him apart. Personally, I found this movie hot. Just saying. Call me a sexist if you want but I'm literally a woman.

IMDB, HEREDITARY (2018)

by user annieratesfilms

ONE STAR

This movie was just disgusting disturbing and made absolutely no sense. Completely unnecessary nudity and way too many weird scenes with the miniature houses. I thought this was just going to be a normal scary movie about ghosts but it turned out to mostly be about the mom having a mental breakdown. So disappointing.

IMDB, THE MENU (2022)

ONE STAR

by user annieratesfilms

Extremely disturbing, zero redeeming qualities. The characters got punished for being rich (by being murdered) but the chef was clearly also very rich and famous so it was totally hypocritical!!! I especially felt bad for the girl who said she went to Brown and got murdered for that. There were no positive characters in this movie and I don't even know why I watched it.

SOUTH SWYNLAKE HOMEOWNERS IN IT TOGETHER NEWSLETTER, JUNE 2023

Movie Corner!

Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse: Three Stars

As some of you may have heard, there is a new animated Spider-Man movie out! However, I would like to warn everyone that just because it is animated does not mean it is appropriate for children. While it has many inspiring messages, it also has some poor role models for children. Gwen Stacey has a truly awful haircut and is very disrespectful to her father. Also, there is a Spider-"Punk" character who has a very negative attitude. Enjoy the movie on your own, but maybe don't bring the kiddos!!!

SOUTH SWYNLAKE HOMEOWNERS IN IT TOGETHER NEWSLETTER, JULY 2023

Movie Corner!

Barbie: Three Stars

This movie was so pretty! The costumes were gorgeous, the sets were amazing— it was like stepping into Barbie Land for real!! Margot Robbie did an AMAZING job. However, I will say that it is a little more anti-men than I was expecting. Just takes things a bit too far at times! Not a good message for children! And there are quite a few scenes that your little girls will probably be bored watching. So overall it was a bit of a letdown. However, it is still a pretty good movie, I just think it could have been better. It should have been more positive and cheerful, as a movie about Barbie! Just my opinion :)

#annie completely missing the point of at least half of these movies lol #swynwrimoemma #swynwrimoemma2023

[cinemacentral666]

Manderlay (2005)

Movie #1,052 • Ranking Lars von Trier #13

A direct sequel to Dogville, 2005's Manderlay is easily von Trier's most direct work of sociopolitical messaging to date. If you were wondering about his thoughts on race in America, well, big surprise: he doesn't have a very sunny outlook! Of course, this isn't a unique stance by any means, but through his warped lens we see things from a different perspective (PERHAPS). It's a delicate and touchy subject, to say the least. And while I don't think it ranks anywhere close to his most successful movies, it isn't necessarily the focus of the attention which is the main issue. Featuring many actors from the cast of Dogville (mostly in different roles), minus Nicole Kidman in the lead role of Grace (here replaced by Bryce Dallas Howard) and James Caan as her father (who bowed out over issues with the politics, and was replaced by Willem Dafoe), Manderlay is filmed in the same soundstage style. Howard does her best in an incredibly difficult spot, but she's clearly a step down.

There are two main issues which plague this film. First, this is truly an insane and somewhat unbelievable premise on multiple levels. Unrealistic in a bad way, I feel. Grace goes straight from ordering the soulless murder of an entire town (she made a mother watch her children being executed!) to emancipator of slaves: some 70 years after the Civil War she stumbles upon a plantation where the rouse of slavery is still being subjected on a dozen or so in rural Alabama. Using the might of her father's gangsters, she flips the table, forcing the white family into a life of servitude as she tries to instill the merits of freedom of democracy (albeit with the force of her dad's men, Jean-Marc Barr and Udo Kier reprising roles, among them). Why the dramatic change of heart after how things ended in Dogville? It's a stretch, but the idealism buried within her isn't quite dead yet. New to the production are a slew of fantastic black actors, including Danny Glover and Isaach de Bankolé. There are many twists and turns throughout the movie's 8 chapters as they follow Grace's lead before, in true LVT fashion, everything goes to hell.

The second big issue is that this is just not as good cinematically. There are several weird cuts and editing choices. Overall this is sloppier and not as refined. Though it was filmed with the same cinematographer and basically in the same style, the lovely lighting and precision staging from Dogville is missing. It's still unique and impressive given the constraints, but it lacks the nuance which made its predecessor so striking.

This was a co-production of an outlandish seven countries (Denmark, Sweden, Netherlands, France, Germany, United Kingdom, Italy). There's one notable exception to that list. Can you guess? Far be it from me to declare what stories someone should or shouldn't tell, but it ultimately feels like von Trier is reaching here. Americans know just how fucked the situation is. We don't necessarily need a Danish weirdo to point it out. By the time we get to the end credits, set once again to Bowie's "Young Americans" against an even more disparate series of horrifying photos (what does 9/11 have to do with any of this?), it just feels exhausting.

But I admire his gusto, his never-ending desire to 'go there' without any hesitation or worry about the consequences or reception. But Dogville worked far better because it was better executed, felt fresh and new, and tackled the subject matter in a much more universal way.

SCORE: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️¼

I'll be counting down all of Lars Von Trier's movies right here at @cinemacentral666 every Thursday through September 2023

#lars von trier director #2005 #drama #🇩🇰 #7.25 #avant-garde #bryce dallas howard #willem dafoe #danny glover #lauren bacall #jean-marc barr #udo kier #john hurt #isaach de bankolé

[flawedconqueror]

This week

Work I can’t lie I wanted to find a new job yesterday

The NHS is having a mass exodus and after having a taste of the NHS after being there for some months I can see why that’s the case

Angela is unwilling to bend down

And the department I work at operates like a newsroom I can’t keep up with the unrealistic, and at times petty demands and I’m keen to quit 

I had dreams of being a journalist but later became reticent of going into that field after seeing unhealthy the field can be (cue mueni)

So being here confirms my decision to not go into journalism

i saw femi

I think i scare people with height

I like that

I do think Femi’s into me but no

he has two kids

i guess we live in the same area...

it’s a cultural clash and my co-worker recommend me looking into the private sector as the public sector as a whole is infamous for such standards

but are the standards so low that i can’t even get a working laptop

i’m so frustrated with this job

She reminds me a bit of Jacquie (Angela)

We need to reduce the volume so it’s achievable, organised and coherent

It was nice seeing St Pancras and the stations that goes to France and Belgium

But it’s quite the commute and I’d like a job in central London

Harry is only in it for himself, why not share another job posting

It was nice meeting Namrate and she asked about my faith in this instance it was good to share what I’m still figuring out

But God can use imperfect people for his calling

gnawing...

God is in control I miss Nikki she’s so pure

And i’m scared of opening up to people, trusting people

it’s been a process

Titi called

And I answered

She asked many questions - not the time and place for me to answer in the undeground tube 

i’m also guarded

But I’m grateful I have mums at home who do care for me and want my wellbeing it’s nice to give and sow

to feel apart of something

my social life is more important than work

work is a means to an end

I met Namrata and she’s really nice

I like maya too but in this instance i wanted to meet her (Namrata)

Going to Kate’s Cafe 

was nice

The service could’ve been better like asking if you need more water and they were out of stock of many items

It was nice to see a large pot with a fire, and the matriach (presumably) making fufu

I felt at home

The joloff rice needed more kick, but the sauce with the chicken was bang-on

Around the room people are eating with their hands with football in the background

Namrate felt happy to have joined

She had some plaintain and beans

But took some of my joloff as she felt it needed that

i’m in my robe and it’s Saturday a slower morning as I brace myself to do (many errands)

Cooking, cleaning, maybe watching cinema

I miss  

I could feel him 

I imagine washing his hair

Is it wrong Jesus to have those thoughts

He is in a serious relationship

I won’t do anything more 

[ask19thcentury-doctorgilbert]

And that’s something that I carried over to my own canon! Gilbert is very protective of Ludwig and that personal protectiveness sometimes comes into conflict with their relationship as the nations of Prussia and (future) Germany which makes things... Complicated.

More of me rambling under the cut because I have A Lot of Thoughts(tm) about this. If you wanted to reblog the art without the headcanon, I’ll be posting it on my art blog ( littleartistthings ) too! ^^

A lot of it comes from Gilbert’s own rocky upbringing ( I talk about that in more detail in this post if you’d like to give that a read! ) so he tries so hard, maybe even too hard, to make up for everything that he felt he lacked when he was growing up. He showered the boy in praise and encouragement, indulged his interests and hobbies as much as he could, and almost always came running at the first sign of trouble no matter how minor the problem may be. A big part of him is subconsciously trying to shelter Ludwig from anything negative, be that pain or disappointment or feeling like he isn’t good enough or the stress of dealing with the business of being a nation. If Gilbert could have his way, he’d handle all the hard stuff and just let his son enjoy the benefits and live a normal life.

And while that sounds very noble and while Gil had the best of intentions, it fostered some very unrealistic expectations, and some frustrations too, from his son’s perspective and ultimately rendered Ludwig ill-prepared to take the reins from him once it becomes his turn to step up and assume the responsibility of being the embodiment of this empire that was forged for him. Sure, Ludwig participated in the wars of Unification and was taught all the necessary statecraft and politicking, but I always thought that he was never really given any real responsibility since it’s Gilbert who’s still pulling the strings and micro-managing from the background; trying to make sure that everything is perfect for his son so that he can live in peace without constant threats to his stability and safety.

You know that quote from Cersei? “I would do anything for you. Anything to keep you from harm. I would burn cities to the ground. You are all that matters.” That just about sums him up. Which brings up another big mistake when it comes to Gilbert’s parenting: The goal was to give Ludwig and the empire peace and stability, to be a stabilizing factor in Europe but the example he set was anything but that --- Ludwig grew up well-aware of his father’s reputation for being the Army with a State and the fact that he comes from two generations of nations who made their name by means of war and conquest. There’s also Gilbert’s century-long vendetta against France that he never made any effort to hide, which in turn left quite the impression on Ludwig.

Unfortunately, Gilbert won’t start to realize how badly he messed up until the lead up to WW1. By then he had to deal with a boy who was a) sick of having his entire life dictated to him and b) way too eager to make his mark on the world the same way his predecessors did; we all know how that will snowball into a bigger shit storm down the road.

Gilbert does feel responsible and does grow to realize that his over-coddling and the decisions he made and agreed to as a nation back then played a role in what transpired in the 20th century, whether directly or indirectly. Which is why I feel he faced the sentence of dissolution at the end without much protest because in a sense, he’s getting what he deserves and at the end of the day, he’d still much rather have his own head on the chopping block as opposed to Ludwig’s.

There’s a whole lot of feelings, trauma, guilt, and stuffed down regret and resentment to unpack from both Ludwig and Gilbert’s side... But father and son did have a very long, very emotional talk about it around 1992 or 1993. Grievances were aired, apologies were exchanged, forgiveness was given, and they’re both still incredibly close to this day.

#[ headcanon ] #aph prussia #hws prussia #aph germany #hws germany #ludwig beilschmidt #gilbert beilschmidt #APH German Brothers #thank you anon for letting me talk about this #gil and lud's relationship is one of my favorite ones #to pick apart and elaborate on #nation relationships are so messy

[algumaideia]

The ableism in the Acotar series

I was thinking about all the problematic aspects of the Acotar books, and I realized that they are pretty ableist. I don’t know if someone have already talked about it, but just in case I’ll do it. But before I start, I need to say some things:

1. I haven’t read the series for a while, and I don’t remember some stuff. So, I might write something that is wrong.

2. I’m not disabled myself. This post is based on my research about disabilities and how disabled people are represented in the media. I have a lot of interest in the subject, and I also researched about it because I’m writing a story with several disabled characters. I also did a school project about assistive technologies.

3. English is not my mother language and I’m still learning it. There are gonna be spelling and grammar mistakes. I’m sorry about it, but it is life.

4. I haven’t read the acosf book, so maybe SJM changed the story or some character in this book and therefore my post will be incorrect.

5. Besides the fact that I consider Emerie to be disabled, I won’t talk about her in the post. Because as I said I didn’t read acosf and I think that her appearance in the acofas has the same purpose that the other female Illyrians (since Idk how to write Illyrians this will be write wrong in the entire post, I’m sorry).

6. I forget the name of some characters and I don’t want to search it, so I’ll just give them new names.

Now let’s begin.

I’ll analyze the following characters in this post: Papa Acheron, Lucien, Cassian and Ianthe, the woman from the library and the female Illyrians, the female creature from the forest, the Illyrian soldiers that came back from the war and the girl who couldn’t fly. I think I forgot someone, but patience. In the end of the post I’ll talk about disabilities, ableism and worldbuilding.

I also would like to say that almost all her characters got their disability as a punishment, and the problem with this is that it always links disability with something bad.

Papa Acheron:

As I said Papa Acheron got his disability as a punishment, since he didn’t pay his debts, some people went in this house and broke his leg. I might be wrong, but I think that it didn’t healed well and because of that he has chronic pain. So, to better analyze him I’ll compare him to two other characters with chronic pain, Kaz Brekker and Melissa, one of my main characters.

Papa Acheron became useless after he became disabled. He thought he was useless and by extension Feyre thought it too. I’m not saying that internalized ableism doesn’t exist, but the narrative never calls it out. Feyre accepts this excuse, it is kind of implied that if he weren’t disabled, he would be able to help his family and get money. Now let’s look to Kaz (I haven’t read the second book of the duology, please no spoilers). He accepts his disability, not only that but he uses his cane as one of his symbols. He goes against the idea that a disabled person is stuck with a cane or a wheelchair or whatever. He feels free with his cane. Now, this doesn’t mean that every disabled character needs to feel okay with his disability. My character, Melissa, feels a lot of anger because of her chronic pain. It hurts her, it disrupts her plans, it makes her suffer. However, it didn’t stop her to live her life and she also is not seeking anyone’s pity, which is very different from the Papa Acheron situation. Mel has friends, a social life, she studies, she will have a job, she will date, get married and have children. She doesn’t feel mad because she is disabled, she is also autistic, and she loves that part of herself. What bothers her is that her disability makes her feels a lot of pain. Papa Acheron is just someone to you feel bad and angry about. He doesn’t do anything because he is disabled and believes that this makes his useless and the narrative kind of agrees with him.

Lucien:

Lucien doesn’t have one eye, and that’s what makes him disabled. He became disabled as a punishment for falling in love with a lesser fae and not only that, but he is only without his mechanic/magic eye when he is on his worse. He was without his eye when his family was torturing and banishing him. And then when he was UTM. Again, disability being connected with bad things. Now about his mechanic eye. The first time that Feyre describes his eye she says it is creepy. Which is bad. But also, why it had to be magic and give him the ability to see spells or something like that (this was never brought back btw)? Why can’t he have a normal mechanical eye? Why he needs a mechanical eye? Why does his mechanical eye need to compensate the fact he is disabled? He is as much complete with and without his eye.

Cassin and Ianthe:

I put this two together for one reason, their disabilities were cured. I’ll talk about Cassian first. When they invaded Hybrein (I also don’t know how to write the name of the country) they hurt his wings badly. And considering that to Illyrians the wings are as much a limb as an arm or a leg, he was disabled for a while. (I’m aware that to something be considered a disability it needs to be long lasting. But I think that the fact that it was cured is ableist, if I’m not wrong the text said it was a miracle he was healed.)Then we had Cassian in the floor with his wings all damaged, suffering a lot, what a horrible scene. But don’t worry! The next time he’ll appear completely cured, because being disabled is such a horrible thing and SJM never used deus ex machina to save her characters. So, this injured made him disabled for a while, and it could be interesting. The wings are the Illyrian symbol, the symbol of their toxic masculinity and their sexism. Cassian being disabled because of his wings would make him revalue his culture and his own idea of masculinity and it would be so amazing. But he was cured. I think that this makes Cassian falls in the disabled for one day trope. Just like Ianthe. First the way she became disabled was disgusting. Feyre invading her mind was such a horrible thing to do. I’m not denying that Ianthe is a terrible person/fae but that doesn’t change the fact that it was a horrible scene. I really dislike characters with telepathic powers, because for me their powers are crossing a line. They invade and control someone’s mind. They take off the person free will. They basically turn the person in a robot. If I remember correctly when Feyre made Ianthe broke her hand it was with the purpose to make it useless. And when she appeared again in all her glory she was, surprise, surprise, cured.

The woman from the library and the female Illyrians:

I put they together because their disabilities are used for the same two purposes. The first is that they became disabled as a punishment for being female, and the second it to show how FEMINIST Rhysand is. He isn’t feminist, so all these women suffered for nothing. Again, disability being linked with bad things. The symbol of the female Illyrians suffering is they becoming disabled. NOT GOOD AT ALL. About the woman from the library, she was there to also show how good Feyre is. She is there so we can feel pity of her. She didn’t deserve it.

The female creature who couldn’t see:

My problem with her is that it is implied/said that she has better senses because she is blind. And that’s not how it works?? People just pay more attention in what they hear, touch or smell when they are blind/visually impaired.

The girl who couldn’t fly:

I'm gonna call her Anna. First Anna is like the only character who just have a disability. No trauma, no war, no punishment. She just has. Then she is a great disabled character, right? Wrong. She has inspirational porn written all over her story. She is there to make Feyre feel better about herself and make other abled people/fae feel inspired. She is there so we can say: ohhh poor thing, but at least she overcame her disability and now can fly. So ableist. Anna is also only valued after proving herself useful. That is wrong. Disabled people should be valued because they are people. They don’t need to be amazing in anything to be treated with respect.

The Illyrian soldiers:

My problem with them is how their disability is used to reinforce sexism and make Cassian and Rhysand feel bad. But what about the Illyrian soldiers? How are they feeling? It seems this is not important. They also bother me because of worldbuilding questions.

Disabilities, ableism and worldbuilding:

First, why humans and fae feel the same about disabled people? Feyre has the same opinion the IC have. And the humans and fae were separated for 500 years. This doesn’t make sense. Every court think the same thing about disabled fae? Does something change if the disabled fae is a lesser or a higher fae? It should make a difference. A real world example of how social class affects the way disabled people are treated: the first school for deaf people created only taught children of the nobles.

And why the way people look to disabled fae didn’t change after the war? What about the assistive technology? You know what, it is unrealistic the fact that we don’t have any assistive technology in this world. But this happen in the antient times, how could there be any assistive technology? First, assistive technology is everything that helps a disabled person, a cane, a screen reader, a scooter. Everything can be an assistive technology. Second, assistive technologies exist since the antiente times. One of the oldest prothesis were found in a mummy. There is a painting of Hephaestus using a wheelchair. And considering that this series happens in what was supposed to be the Middle ages, it was supposed to have assistive technologies. Wheelchairs during this time were heavy and the user couldn’t use it by himself, but they existed. There are records of a king using a wheelchair during the middle ages. And I mean with the war something was supposed to change. The first place to blind people in the France was created because 300 soldiers came back from the crusades without their eyes. It was in the century 20 that disabled people started to be more included in the society. And one of the reasons were the soldiers that came back from WW1 and WW2 disabled. Not only that but in war times the technology improves, so a lot of new assistive technologies and materials were created during this time. The first record of guide dogs comes from 1819 in school in Vienna, but it didn’t work. Only after WW1 that guide dogs appeared again. And you know with what purpose? Help veterans that were blind due to the war. Braille was a system used for the French army during battles. Louis Braille only made it simpler. The war should change something.

Why is the world ableist?  The excuse that this is an antient society doesn’t work my friend. The Egypt was a very including country. Blind people could be part of any social class. Dwarfs were part of the society since they had a dwarf god. In antient Japan blind people were expected to be independent. They could work with music, religion, telling stories etc. And the work of telling stories was very important since it made the Japanese tradition to continue. The excuse that this is an antient society is just this, an excuse. Now she could have used to say something. Leigh Bardugo used the ableism of her world to criticize the ableism of our world. I’m doing the same thing with my story. SJM made an ableist world just because.

That was my analysis. I’m sorry this was very long. I know this was a little confusing, but it was very difficult to put all the stuff that was in my mind in text. In my mind everythig made sense, but when I was writing it I realized I wasn’t following a logical argument. If that makes sense. Anyway, thank you for reading it.

If you read the books and realized I wrote something wrong, please tell me. If you are disabled and think I said something offensive, I’d love to hear you. If you are non-disabled and want to comment and give your opinion, feel free. And if you don’t want to comment, don’t do it. You can do whatever you want.

Best regards,

Me.

Ps. This is my first post in Tumblr, so I don’t know if I tagged it right, if you want to help, I would be really grateful.

#anti sjm #sjm critical #anti rhysand #anti feyre #anti acotar #anti acowar #anti acomaf #ableism #six of crows #kaz brekker #disablity representation #disabled characters #lucien vanserra #cassian

[astrowitch]

An Enjoltaire WIP

This is a scene from a big project I’m currently working on. As you may be able to tell, this scene is unfinished, but I’m pretty proud of it so far. I’ve tried to make the dialogue as authentic as I can to the 19th century, but it can be hard to do while still trying to be true to your own writing. It’s definitely ambitious, but I’ve tried my best, so please be patient with me. 

June 4th, 1832

“Grantaire, please just listen to me-“

“No! I’m not going to listen to you justify getting yourself killed!”

“You don’t know that I’ll be killed! What if we succeed? Then we still have time…then we have a bright future for France!” 

Grantaire sighed deeply, a sense of despair washing over him as he exhaled. 

“Enjolras, mon ange,” He began, gripping the blonde man’s soft, slender hand within his own big and rough one, “You are so idealistic. How I envy you and pity you at the same time. Your mind is beautiful, optimistic, everything I’ve ever wanted to be. But it is unrealistic. The National Guard will not listen to the people, much less students. I’m begging, if you just call this off, no one has to die. We can…we can be guaranteed time,” Grantaire’s voice caught in his throat as he finished what he was saying. Of course, right when he had earned a stroke of luck, the thing that he was living for was to be stripped away from in a matter of hours. Grantaire so desperately wanted to wake up tomorrow morning in his rooms with his lovely Enjolras in his arms and the sunlight beating down upon them. He knew that this wish was in vain, for Enjolras was the most selfless person he had ever met. He couldn’t be satisfied until everyone around him was. Grantaire would follow Enjolras to the ends of the Earth, so deep down, he knew that not only were these his last day or two with Enjolras and his friends, but also his last days alive. 

Enjolras had a look of frustration on his face, but still had a firm grip on Grantaire’s hand. His blue eyes bore straight into his lover’s soul, and Grantaire wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold his tears back. Hell, Grantaire didn’t even know if this Heaven he had been taught about was real. If God was real, how dare he burden this suffering upon Grantaire’s, Enjolras’s, and all of France’s backs. 

“Grantaire, nothing you say can stop me. I know what I must do. My duty lies with France, and I cannot let her down. I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my days with you, not a care in the world, but none of that is possible until France is reformed! When I feel the crunch of the monarchy beneath my feet, I will be at rest,” Enjolras rambled, his grip on Grantaire’s hand getting tighter. His eyes told a different story than his words, and it was easy to tell just how terrified Enjolras was behind his cover of fearless leader. It was in moments like these that Grantaire recognized Enjolras’ humanity, contrary to when he first met the man. 

Alexandre Enjolras was not a god. He was just a boy with a dream. 

Cynical Adrien Grantaire was irrevocably and utterly in love with him. Grantaire’s heart was breaking more every second he thought about losing his love. 

“Enjolras, please. I can’t lose you. I-,” Grantaire choked on a sob before he could mutter those three words to the boy in front of him. 

Arms immediately came to envelope Grantaire in a tight embrace. He felt the familiar soft curls brush up against his neck, and he tried to keep his sobs under control. 

“I know, Adrien. I know. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry-,” Enjolras was speaking through tears too, as Grantaire felt them soaking the collar of his shirt. It was even more unusual to hear Enjolras speaking his first name though, then it was to see him shedding a tear. 

Shakily, Grantaire brought one of his hands up from Enjolras’ waist to card it through his Apollonian curls. “I…I would call you Alexandre, but I think you might actually kick me,“ He tried joking, but it came out watery and desperate. Enjolras still let out a broken laugh, and Grantaire’s heart soared at the thought of himself bringing Enjolras joy. 

“Grantaire, I- there’s just so much I want to say to you and so little time. There are so many injustices in the world, and I feel that this is one of them,” mused Enjolras, his composure clearly cracking. 

“I think we’ve finally come to an agreement on something. How bittersweet those words taste on my tongue in a time like this,” Grantaire leaned his forehead against Enjolras’ own. The pair of them were an incredibly melancholy sight. 

“Grantaire?” Enjolras broke Grantaire out of his cage of darkness. 

“Yes?” He replied, the smallest twinge of hope manifesting in his voice.

“I…I need you to stay as far away as you can from the barricade tomorrow. I may be risking my life, but…but you don’t have to. Do you understand me?” These words looked like they were physically painful for Enjolras to say, like thousands of little knives pierced his throat as they fell from his mouth. 

Grantaire let out a humorless laugh at that. “Enjolras, you really believe that I will stay away from you tomorrow?” He started.

“Grantaire, please-“ 

“Enjolras. My world is nothing without you. I have no one if you and the others are to expire at the barricade. Living alone for eternity is a far worse fate than dying together. I told you that I would never abandon you, and I intend to keep that promise. There…there is no longer an Adrien Grantaire without an Alexandre Enjolras I’m afraid. My soul intertwined with yours the moment I laid eyes on you. Tomorrow, I’ll be there with you. I’ll die with you…and I’d do it over and over again for a million years if it meant I’d get to experience whatever we have,” Grantaire exhaled after he spoke these honest words. 

Enjolras surged forward to capture Grantaire’s lips in a passionate kiss. Grantaire felt tears staining both his and Enjolras’ cheeks as they embraced. It was horribly poetic, their tears mixing. All their anguish was shared, much like their fates seemed to be. When Enjolras finally pulled away from their kiss, he buried his face in the crook of Grantaire’s neck, hiding himself from the world. He was holding on to Grantaire impossibly tight, like he’d somehow slip away from his grasp if he didn’t. 

It was then Grantaire heard the most heart-wrenching sound; Enjolras gasping for breath, sobbing helplessly into his neck. This was so unlike the Enjolras that he had first met that it was almost disconcerting. This Enjolras was vulnerable and loving instead of cold and militaristic. This was the Enjolras that a lot of people didn’t have the pleasure of seeing. Of course, it was clear that Enjolras cared deeply for others, but he had never broken down like this before. 

“Shhh…I’m here. We’re going to get through this…together,” Grantaire soothed, holding the golden boy in his arms close. 

“I…I’ve never-“ Enjolras began, “I’ve never felt like this before. Oh, how Marius underestimated me in his speech about the girl he met. I do know how it feels to…to…,” he stumbled. 

“To?” Grantaire questioned, hoping that this was going the way he believed it was.

“To be in love. Grantaire, you’ve changed me for the better. How could I have gone on to die without knowing how it felt to be cared for by you? You’ve made my task so much more difficult than it was before, not only because you have a fondness for playing Devil’s Advocate. You have the kindest heart I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. I’m honored that you let me in,” Enjolras didn’t have time to finish what surely would’ve been a long, rambling proclamation of love because Grantaire so quickly captured his lips in another kiss. 

“So many call me cynical, but more honest words have never been spoken than when I told you that I loved you from the moment I saw you. I have been your beloved Patroclus from the very beginning, and you my Achilles. How queer it is that we’re also condemned to a tragic end! Maybe it makes our ephemeral romance all the more fascinating,” Enjolras couldn’t help but grin as Grantaire began his waxing of the classics. It was one of many little quirks he adored about the artist. 

When Grantaire finished his spiel, the hopeless expression returned to his sullen face. Enjolras mirrored it, pressing his forehead against Grantaire’s own. 

“We will treasure this night, live in our own world. Tomorrow, we return to the situation at hand. We honor General Lamarque, and we will rise up and show the king that we are tired and desolate. If we are to perish, at least we have made a point. At least we have perished for the sake of the people,” Enjolras, ever the patriot, insisted passionately. If this wasn’t such a tender moment between the two of them, Grantaire normally would’ve started an argument, but he had the wise judgement to not say anything. 

#enjoltaire #enjoltaire fanfiction #enjolras #grantaire #les amis de l'abc #les mis #les miserables #victor hugo #aaron tveit #george blagden #enjoltaire fanfic #romanticism #exr

[patton-cake]

Past adventures and future experiences

Pairings: Logicality and very background Anaroceit, it's only mentioned.

Summary: The Christmas ball, a magical high school experience. At least that’s what it’s supposed to be. Patton knows that he has to ask Logan soon or else he might be too late. You know what? Forget it. There’s no way that Logan would want to be his date. 

Word count: 3635

Additional information: Merry Christmas Gabi! I had the honour to be your Secret Santa this year and I really hope that you're not disappointed with that! Anyway, I love you and I hope that you'll like my gift :D @irritating-lady-knight

~The Story~

Books had always been Patton's escape from this repetitive world. Sure, there were a lot of good things in the world and he certainly wasn't complaining, but sometimes it just feels nice to be somewhere else you know? To be away from your annoying teachers, who think that 25 homework assignments due next week is completely reasonable. To be away from that one feeling you get when you think that you've finished everything, but you're not 100% sure, and to be away from himself for once.

That's why Patton started to read.

When he was younger, his mom used to take him to the library every Tuesday afternoon. They would spend hours reading together about brave princes who saved princesses ("But what if I want to save a prince instead of a princess mama?" "You can save whoever you want Mon Étoile"), they learned about the most beautiful creatures, and one day, they met one of Patton's future best friends.

Logan would teach him everything he had learned about the stars and their different constellations, the planets and their little baby moons ("They're not their children Patton.") And in return, Patton would read him his favourite stories and take him on thrilling adventures.

Unfortunately, the boys grew older and with becoming older, came more responsibilities. School wasn't much of a problem for the two friends. They both enjoy learning and Patton even made a new friend (who he immediately introduced to Logan, because the two were and always will be a package deal). 

At the first sight, you would think that someone like Virgil would never become friends with someone like Patton. His dark black hair with faint purple dye, dark lether jacket decorated with punk rock pins and spiky boots have scared off a lot of people, but not Patton. Instead of running away, Patton basically adopted him.

Don't worry! He and Logan are still best friends! Patton has two hands and a lot of room in his heart, especially for someone like Logan.

  "Thinking about Nerd number 1 again huh?" Patton shook his head and blinked a few times, before completely zoning back into reality. Oh right, school. Virgil laughed at Patton's 'angry' glare and pointed behind him.

"Good news Pattycake, your sweetheart is coming this way."

Patton poked his side and grumbled "He's not my sweetheart!"

With a look of disbelief, Virgil stared at his best friend and rolled his eyes. "You two are basically married already! Roman and I have a bet that you two got married years ago somewhere in France, because that's totally the type of romantic Logan would pick, but just didn't invite us to the wedding."

"If you keep bullying me then no, I won't invite you to the wedding!" Patton tried to hold back his laughter, but failed completely.

"So there is going to be a wedding??"

Before Patton could react, he heard a quiet voice calling his name.

"Salutations Patton, Virgil. I hope your day has been satisfactory so far." Logan had a slight blush on his face and was anxiously fidgeting with his tie.

"Goodmorning Lo! We saved you a seat!"

A small smile appeared on Logan's face as he sat down next to Patton.

"So mr. and mr. Nerd, did you two already hear about the nightmare that is the Christmas ball?"

Oh right. The Christmas ball. The event of the year.

The Christmas ball was this party for everyone in their last year. It was a sort of last goodbye before they graduated. Basically their school just took prom and slapped a different name on it to feel special and creative.

"Yeay! I bet that you, Janus and Roman are going together huh?" Patton winked at him and gave him a bright smile. He had been so happy for his friend when he and Roman finally got together and even happier when later Janus got added to the relationship. They were really adorable with the three of them.

"Mhm! Roman wanted to do some big promposal, but fortunately for us, Janus managed to talk him out of it. But how about you Logan? Anyone you wanna ask?"

Oh gosh Patton was going to kill Virgil. His friend knew that he wanted to ask Logan. In fact, he had tried to ask him like 5 times already, but every time he was about to pop the question, his anxiety took over and he asked some other random thing. This had lead him to asking Logan about the way ducks keep floating, their math homework and random facts about ladybugs instead. Patton truly was hopeless.

"Logan? Are you blushing? Now you gotta tell!" Virgil leaned over the table with a mischievous smile on his face.

"I did no such thing, but yes, I suppose there is someone I'd like to go with." Unfortunately for Logan, his face only turned darker red, which made Virgil laugh harder.

"Tell us more Logan!! Come on!" Virgil gently poked Logan's arm and leaned on his elbows, interrogating Logan,

"Well.. They're the most wonderful person in the world and I could not imagine my life without them, but I'm not telling you their name, not until I've asked them."

"Come on Lo! You can trust us! Right Patt? Patton? Everything okay?" His voice suddenly turned concerned when he looked at Patton, who was fidgeting with his necklace and looking at his hands, a sad smile on his face.

"Yeay, I'm fine," he grapped his backpack and stood up, "I'm gonna go to my next class, see you later guys."

  In all honesty, Patton wasn't fine. He had failed to ask Logan to the prom and now he was too late. Gosh he was pathetic. He felt a few teardrops falling down his face as he walked outside. Patton desperately needed to get his mind off of everything, so he went to the place he always went when he was sad. The magic treehouse.

When they were younger, Logan and Patton had wanted to go on their own adventure. They tried to discover the hidden secrets from their library (the only thing they found was that the librarian was secretly dating ms. Williams. Patton still got shivers when he thought about that), they practised their sword fighting skills, discovered that Logan shouldn't be trusted with sharp objects and searched for hidden treasures in their backyard.

One day, after getting complaints from ms, Williams, their parents decided that they should have their own little place, somewhere where they didn't disturb other people. Logan and Patton had spent all summer building their treehouse together. Of course that meant that their parents build it and that they had decorated it with fancy fairy lights.

Patton smiled when he reached his backyard. The magic tree was located in the little private forest, behind their yard and right now, it looked absolutely magical. It had started snowing a few days ago so the whole scenery was covered in a little layer of white snow.

He carefully climbed up the ladder and entered the treehouse. Patton looked around him with a soft smile on his face, nothing had changed in their secret hideout. The shelves were covered with books, the fairy lights were still covering almost the entire ceiling and on the walls hang multiple drawings of their great adventures.

A chuckle escaped Patton as he looked through their drawings. Most of them were from when they were 9. He could barely identify the two blue stickman figures as Logan and him wearing their crowns. Logan always said that one day, he and Patton would become mighty rulers of their own library kingdom. They would have flying books and magical flowers that changed colours.

Patton's heart broke a little when he thought about that. Logan always claimed that they'd be together forever, Patton knew that they had only been children at the time, but still, he couldn't help but feel heartbroken. He'll get over it eventually, Patton would be happy for Logan and his date of course, but it still hurt.

Suddenly, his phone started to beep and he could hear the Sherlock theme song starting to play. Logan was calling him. Patton turned his phone off and sunk down to the floor. Class had started half an hour ago and here he was, crying in his childhood treehouse. How pathetic.

After a while, Patton's breathing had become steady again and he walked towards the bookshelves. A shiver spread over his body and he finally began to realise exactly how cold it was in the treehouse. Patton picked up the first book and started to read. Stories had always cheered him up a bit.

  "I think that I remember that one."

Patton snapped his head towards Logan and let out a deep breath.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class?" Patton knew that he was being hypocrite but at this moment, he couldn't really care about that.

"As should you." Logan sat down next to Patton, taking in the their treehouse. "Nothing has changed here, has it? Do you remember when we were 11 and those bullies threatened me on the playground?" Logan chuckled softly and looked at their drawings, "We spend all day hiding here, drawing together."

Patton too, let out a soft laugh and looked at his hands, keeping his head low.

"Wasn't that the day we made the first drafts for our little kingdom? You know? With the weird roses and the unrealistic inhabitants?"

"Hey! Don't you dare insult Regno Libri like that!" Logan exclaimed. He tried to keep a serious face, but couldn't help but laugh. Patton giggled softly and finally looked Logan in his eyes.

"I'm sorry if I worried you Logan... I just needed some time for myself, I'll be fine."

Logan smiled soflty and took Patton's hand, gently fidgeting with his fingers.

"You're my best friend Patton, I know when something is bothering you. It's okay if you don't want to tell me, but just know that Virgil and I are here to help you okay? We care about you." He squeezed Patton's hand and moved closer so there sides were touching.

"I know Logan, thanks.." He slightly blushed at their intertwining hands and leaned onto Logan's shoulder. Physical touch had always been the best solution to cheer Patton up and especially if Logan was providing that touch. Logan would never admit it, but he secretly was a great hugger.

After a few minutes, Logan gently let go of Patton's hand and put his arm around Patton's shoulders instead, carefully pulling him closer. He gently stroked his hands through Patton's curls, softly twirling them around his fingers before speaking up again,

"Patton? There is something I'd like to ask you.." Logan smiled down at his friend with a loving gaze,

"I know that this might not be the most perfect time to ask, but do you might want to be my date to the Christmas ball? And perhaps we can try to become Promkings? Instead of rulers? Do you remember that?"

 Wait

 What?

 Patton's thoughts zoned out and he looked at Logan with a shocked look on his face. Did.. did Logan actually asked him to prom?

"Patton? I- you don't have to, I understand if you don't see me that way, if you don't like me like that but-"

"Logan, please don't doubt yourself that much."

  And with that, he kissed him. It only lasted a couple of seconds, but it was everything they needed. The kiss was sweet and gentle and it tasted a bit like vanilla, Patton couldn't get enough off it.

When Patton pulled away and looked up at Logan he giggled a bit. His (boy)friend (?) had a dazy smile on his face and his cheeks were bright red. After a few seconds, he spoke up

"I- you- is that a yes?"

Patton chuckled at the normally composed and stoic boy and kissed his cheek,

"Yes Logan, I'd love to be your date to the Christmas Ball." Patton leaned his head back onto Logan's shoulder and nuzzeld his cheek gently, taking in everything around them.

  He had just kissed Logan

  Patton had just kissed Logan

And it was perfect

After what felt like hours, Logan kissed Patton's forehead and carefully stood up. He reached out a hand to help Patton and linked there hands together,

"I think it's time to return, Virgil must be really worried." Patton let out a yawn and leaned into Logan's embrace,

"You're probably right."

   And yeay, Logan had been right

"Where the hell were you Patton? I was so worried! Are you okay? Why did you leave and- Are.. are you two holding hands?" Virgil waved around with his arms, face full of worry. But when he saw Logan's loving gaze at Patton, something in him shifted. A soft smile appeared on his face and he smirked down at the two.

Patton looked down at their hands and blushed soflty. He loved Virgil, he really did and it was so funny to see him turn into this overprotective mother hen. Eventhough Virgil liked to act like he didn't care about other people, Patton knew how much of a softy he actually was.

"So when's the wedding?"

Logan almost choked on air.

  It had only taken a few days before the entire city was covered in snow. Patton could hear the white crystals crunch under his feet as he walked through the park close to his house. Virgil and Patton had agreed to meet up a few hours before the Christmas ball was supposed to start. He checked his phone when he arrived at the old oak tree. The old oak tree had been in the park for ages, hence the nickname. Patton could remember being a little boy and trying to climb all the way to the top of the tree, even though Logan would always warn him that he could fall down and break his legs. Which he eventually did. Well, not both of his legs. Patton had only broken his left ankle, but he got a lolly from the nice nurse lady so he was fine. Giggling at the memory of Logan’s concern, Patton unlocked his phone to check the time. Five minutes until Virgil would arrive.

Just when Patton was about to send Virgil a message, letting him know that he had arrived, Patton saw something flying towards him before said thing hit the ground with a muffled sound.

“Damn that was supposed to hit you!” Patton turned around a saw a big bundle of purple coming his way. The purple blob tried hard to keep his balance on the slippery snow as it made it’s way to the tree. “Did it scare you?” It’s voice was slightly muffled by a fluffy scarf but Patton could still recognize the bright purple hair that always looked like an absolute mess.

“Oh I was terrified” Patton rolled his eyes while simultaneously trying to contain his laughter. Virgil scoffed and lightly hit Patton’s arm.

“Mission completed then I guess, but it’s not like you could have done it bette-“

Before Virgil could even finish his sentence, a cold snowball flew into his face. He quickly shook all the snow off of himself and looked at Patton who had a really sweet and innocent smile on his face

“Oh you bastard, it’s on” Virgil quietly mumbled to himself and began to collect more snow.

“What did you say Virgy? You looked like you needed a little cool down time!” and yeay it was really no ones fault besides himself when Patton too, got hit by a snowball right in his face.

A lot of snowballs later, Virgil walked up to his friend with his hands high up in the sky, slightly shivering from the cold.

“You won okay, I give up. I’m literally freezing.” Patton took this opportunity to hug Virgil around his waist and nuzzle close.

“Alright, alright we get it, you love hugs. Now come let’s get some hot chocolate or something. We deserve it after this intense battle.”

Patton nodded in Virgil’s chest and together the tried to find their balance while walking out of the park.

   When the two friends walked into Patton’s house, they were met with an overwhelming smell of gingerbread and apple-pie. Which made sense because Patton’s parent had been baking Christmas treats for their family this morning.

“You mind if I grab one?” Virgil held up one of the chocolate chip cookies and ploffed down on one of the chairs in the living room. He took a bite when Patton motioned that he could eat it and let out a small noise of contentment.

“Your suit arrived last week right?” Patton nodded and Virgil continued, “Have you tried it on yet?”

Patton nodded again and smiled brightly at Virgil

“It fitted perfectly! I really hope that Lo will like it too”

He hugged himself anxiously and Virgil stood up to wrap him into a strong embrace

“Hey it’s okay Pat. Your boyfriend absolutely adores you. Believe me, if it would have taken you two any longer to get together I would have sued Logan, because he just couldn’t shut up about how handsome you looked and how he would just skip the prom because he couldn’t ask you.”

Patton giggled and blushed slightly

“And besides, if Logan does somehow decide to hurt you in any way or form, I will gladly kill him for you!” Patton lightly hit Virgil’s arm before looking up with his bright smile returned on his face.

“Thanks Virgil.”

  After Patton changed into his light blue suit and Virgil had eaten more chocolate chip cookies, he also finally decided to put on his indigo purple suit with bright red and golden bracelets to match his boyfriends. Logan and Patton had agreed to wear matching ties, which meant that Patton was wearing a beautiful navy-blue necktie.

He triple checked if he had all of his stuff, including his phone, keys and if Virgil was ready, when he suddenly heard a soft knock on his door. With a mischievous smirk, Virgil walked up to the door and opened it slightly, leaning in the doorway.

"Hello Logan"

"Salutations Virgil, is something wrong?" Patton couldn't see Logan but he could identify the slight shake in his voice as anxiety.

"I don't know Logan. Tell me, are you going to dance with Patton tonight? Bring him some pretty flowers? Give him everything he deserves and more?" He could hear Logan clear his throat and Patton was sure that he was anxiously fidgeting with his necktie by now. Logan always did that when he was nervous.

"If Patton wants to dance tonight then I'll gladly join him, I did indeed bring him a flower and believe me, I will try to do anything I can to make him happy." Patton almost melted at the soft adoration in Logan's voice and he pushed Virgil out of the doorway.

"Virgil! Stop that! You're bullying the poor thing. I'm sure that Logan will be a true gentleman, as will I." Patton giggled at Virgil when he rolled his eyes and then turned back to face his boyfriend.

"Hi Logan," Patton whispered breathlessly, "you look absolutely amazing"

Logan, who looked equally as breathless, blushed slightly and whispered back with a soft voice "As do you Sunshine, as do you."

He then held his hand out and presented Patton a singular light blue and slightly bowed

"For you my love" Logan smirked up at Patton and chuckled softly.

"Move your domestic display elsewhere you nerds. This is too nauseating." Virgil smiled softly down at Patton and hugged him quickly before Logan took Patton's hand to escort him to his car.

  The night sky was filled with stars when the two boys finally arrived at the oh so dreaded Christmas ball. Well, of course the ball wasn't that dreaded anymore. Patton wondered if anything could be dreadful when Logan was there by his side.

"Your mind is lost in space Sunshine, what is troubling you?" Logan intertwined their fingers and gently rubbed his thumb over Patton's hand to soothe him.

"Nothing's wrong Starlight, everything is perfect. Absolutely perfect." The honesty in Patton's voice made Logan blush and together, they entered the ballroom.

Suddenly, they were surrounded by hundreds of fake snowflake decorations. The fairy lights gave the room an enchanting atmosphere and because it was Christmas, in the corner of the room stood an eight feet tall Christmas tree, decorated with the most beautiful ornaments. It looked magical

"Well I did promised a dance didn't I?" Patton turned around to face Logan and saw that his boyfriend was holding out his hand for him.

"We don't want to disappoint Virgil now do we?" He giggled as he happily accepted Logan's invitation and followed him to the dancefloor.

The music started to play and Patton could feel Logan's hands gently wrapped around his waist. Somewhere in the back of his mind he could hear the other people entering the dancefloor, but Patton was too distracted at this moment. Blue. Beautiful dark blue. The only thing Patton noticed was how the lights reflected into Logan dark blue eyes, making him truly look magical.

"..Logan" Patton slightly cringed at the crack in his voice, but Logan didn't seem to notice

"Patton?" His boyfriend looked at him with a confused smile and a lot of admiration in his eyes.

"I love you"

"Well that's perfect Patton, do you want to know why?" Logan blushed while still keeping a smirk on his face leading them through their dance. He continued when Patton nodded,

"Because I love you too."

The two swayed the night away, living in their own private bubble. It was just the two of them and it was absolutely perfect.

#logan sanders #patton x logan #logicality #logan x patton #long post #patton sanders #virgil sanders #anaroceit #(mentioned) #pattoncake writes #Gosh I'm nervous about this one #I really hope that you like it Gabbee #This is my longest fic so far

[mccoyyy]

Bring historical accuracy to Carlisle's early life, pretty please 🥰

absolutely (and thank you @pandabooraccoon and the other two anons who asked something similar to this too I love you so much). I'm putting this under a read more cause, yeah

ok, to start of with I am nowhere near an expert, but this time period in history really fascinates me cause there was so much going on. 

so Carlisle was born in 1640′s London, and at the time there was a shit tonne of religious and political upheaval going on. You had the Union of Crowns, disagreements over the Church systems, covenanting, Civil War and Cromwell, Executions and the removal and restoration of the Monarchy. Shit was mad. But I’m gonna start with Carlisle’s dad (I’m going to call him Abraham but full credit for that one goes to @panlight​) cause I have so many thoughts

Abraham was a pastor in 1640. He most likely started working when he was breached and then took over as Pastor (Preacher) after his dad died. I’m going to say he was born around 1620, married in 1639ish and then Carlisle was born a year later. So he would be what, 20 when Carlisle was born. 

First of the bat, there is no way that Abraham would still be alive and kicking when Carlisle was 23. The life expectancy back then was just under 40, so a 43 year old Abraham cutting about burning witches (and we’ll get to that in just a moment) just isn’t realistic but neither are vampires so oh well. In terms of religion if were being historically accurate, then Abraham would have most likely been an Anglican pastor as that was the dominant form of church in England at the time and he would have been fucked up by the mob/church/general public/all of the above for being anything else

However, it gets sticky when you bring in the idea of Puritanism. I firmly believe that Abraham would have loved Cromwell and puritanism (cause I like to headcanon him as an utter dick) but if were doing that then it creates a problem. If Abe was a devout Protestant Anglican, he would have believed in the divine right of kings (a monarch has no authority other than the word of god and therefore doesn't need to listen to anyone else) and therefore seen Charles I as the mouth of God, and had issues with the whole execution thing, so if Abe was a Puritan, then he would probably have to be a Presbyterian (dominant form of church in Scotland and also the parliamentarians) but again, this causes problems cause no one really liked Presbyterianism (understatement). It’s possible that he could have been influenced by Cromwell and switched from Anglicanism but religion back then was very different to what it was now, it took a lot to get people to change their ideas over faith (see the plague) so I’m gonna go out on a limb and blame Charles I who first started to undermine parliament and try to start Absolutism which lead Abe to change his loyalties. Either that or he supported Cromwell’s agenda but didn’t agree with execution which is the most likely option tbh.

With Abraham out of the way, we can now move on to our boy. Carlisle, the son of a pastor in 1640, there is no fucking way that this dude didn’t know the year/date he was born. Know why? cause dates were recorded by none other than the fucking church. aka his father. Carlisle is just bad with dates but that's ok buddy i guess that happens when your like 300. Secondly, his dad wouldn’t have raised him. It would have been left up to his mum, but cause she wasn't around he would have been raised by a wet nurse until he was breeched and entered the adult world at the ripe and grown up age of six (at least I think but I’m not 100% sure) when he would have started helping his father with sermons, and received an education of some form (probably a clerics education). Either way, he would have been helping his father at a very young age and exposed to so much shit

Back to Abraham for a wee second. Smeyer writes that he hunted down and burned vampires but again, this isn’t likely. Vampire hunters did exist but not in London. They were most common in Bulgarian/Serbian beliefs and even then they were very different to the modern idea of vampire hunters. And secondly, they wouldn’t have been burned! pyres weren’t used in the 1600s and instead would probably have been killed through hangings, torture or trials to determine whether they were a witch or not. So the good news is, Carlisle didn’t have to watch women being burned alive from the age of like six, he would only have to watch women being drowned, tortured, disembowelled, branded and hanged! and not just women accused of being witches, but most likely Catholics too!

We don’t know much about Carlisle’s life from his birth to his ‘death’, so I’m gonna take creative liberty and make some stuff up. London in the 1640s was utterly awful. It was dark, bleak, and really smelly. He was pretty lucky in terms of the plague cause the only major outbreaks occurred just before him and just after him (1603, 25 and 65) but there would have been the odd outbreak. I like to believe that Carlisle was an argumentative little shit and from the age of like 10 argued with his dad about literally everything. Canon says that Carlisle didn’t agree with his fathers particular brand of faith, so I’m going to go out on a limb and say that whilst he was still a protestant, and most likely Anglican, he probably followed an early form of religious tolerance at the least. Lutheranism didn’t reach England until around the enlightenment so I don't want to call him that but it was in existence in Germany at the same time so others had probably moved towards it a little, it just didn't have a name. His tolerance probably came from watching his father punish Catholics from the age of six, and their main argument as he got older was probably regarding tolerance of Catholicism. As much as I hate to say it, its low key unrealistic that Carlisle wasn’t married as a human so that would probably have been another point of contest between Carlisle and Abraham.

During Cromwell’s puritan reign was the most prominent witch-hunting years too, so if were being really nit-picky then Abraham would probably have only started hunting witches or at least started doing it a lot more frequently than he previously did round about here.

Cromwell died in 1658, and the monarchy was restored in England in 1660, but Carlisle’s dad most likely still followed puritan ideals and was not happy with the restoration period, and again, the revival of Christmas, theatre and fun was something that 20 year old Carlisle and Abraham would have disagreed over. Carlisle would have taken over a lot of his fathers duties round about this time, leading sermons and all that because Abraham should have been dead by now so I guess smeyer can have that one.

And now we get up to our boy’s final years. And this is like shooting still targets. Carlisle was hunting vampires in London sewers when he got bit, and then crawled into a potato cellar where he writhed in agony for 3-4 days. Firstly, sewers. The London sewage system wasn’t built for one or two hundred years. London was so fucking smelly. Like so much so that if it was sunny the house of commons/Westminster had to be evacuated cause the (literal) shite in the Thames would have warmed up and became especially pungent, and it was only when it started to affect MP’s that they though that maybe they should do something about it (which is probably another reason that super-senses-vampire Carlisle boosted to France as soon as possible). So he wouldn’t have been fighting vampires in sewage systems, but instead an alley, slums, or even along or near the Thames if you want to keep the sewage aspect. 

After being bitten, it would have been pretty difficult for Carlisle to drag himself into a potato cellar because he’d be crawling for quite some time. Potatoes didn't become a staple crop in society for quite a while. They were about and people ate them, but were largely seen as food for the lower classes in society, and there certainly wouldn't have been cellars filled with them.

Also just as a little end note, plague devastated London 5 years after he was turned so literally my favourite headcanon to give Carlisle is that he blamed the outbreak on himself. Yes, he may have went along with the miasmic theory that Plague was caused by bad air instead of his fathers ‘divine punishment’ theories, but there’s nothing like a good bit of puritan guilt am I right? seeing and maybe helping with the plague (masks and so many herbs stuffed inside them would have blocked the smell of blood) is also what I like to think made Carlisle want to go into medicine.

And there you have it. A (sort of) accurate version of Carlisle’s and Abraham’s life. and again, disclaimer, I am nowhere near an expert, so there might be inaccuracies and mistakes here. But basically, smeyer please. Google is free. 

#god im such a nerd #ive literally been waiting for this excuse lol #history is something im seriously interested in so pair that with immortal vampires living in different time periods and im in heaven #watch someone who actually is an expert come along like 'yeah your completely wrong lol' #ask #stregoni-benefici #carlisle cullen #twilight headcanon #twilight #twilight renaissance #rach rambles

[ducavalentinos]

How would you rate Sabatini's biography on Cesare? I love it, but I wondered if you had any other (English) recommendations? Also take a shot everyone Sabatini interrupts his narrative to talk about how hot Cesare was sfhttjjggj

I think as far as Cesare bios goes, I’d rate his biography 7/10. I have conflicted feelings with Sabatini’s work, because I love his writing style, his sense of humour is great, it matched mine right away, and he has such a genius way of pointing out the hypocrisy and double standards applied to the Borgia family. He cleverly shows how much of the Borgia myths and general accusations thrown their way are connected to politics (shocker!) and to their Spaniard, and less nobly origins. Not to mention how he exposes the historical bias against Cesare, and general dishonesty with him, from primary sources to modern historians such as Gregorovius, that paragraph Sabatini wrote about him was truly a moment in the Borgia historical literature for me, I'm glad he said it. I just wish he hadn't fallen so hard for the Machiavellian Prince archetype about Cesare. The more I re-read his work, the more it becomes clear to me he took Machiavelli’s writings about Cesare at face value, fell in love with the image presented by him, and then proceeded (whether consciously or unconsciously) to apply this interpretation, one that has its limitations and flaws on their own, to all the facets of Cesare’s character, and all the other aspects of his life lol, which resulted in this too strict, robot-like persona. There is no nuance, no deepth to Cesare’s Sabatini, he exists only as the stoic, unscrupulous, unfeeling Machiavellian Prince. It’s a mistake I see being made time and again by most of Cesare’s biographers, many who follow Sabatini too blindly, or just Borgia biographers in general tbh, but Sabatini’s bio acutely illustrates this particular issue better than the other bios I’ve read I think, (with the exception perhaps of Beuf’s “work”, who somehow managed to outdone Sabatini in this Machiavellian presentation of Cesare, taking it to new extremes with super dramatic and misleading writing, for the most part). And you know, I always get the impression Sabatini had his own conflicted feelings in regards to The Prince, and its clear-headed, pragmatic politics. He seemed to admired it and feel repulsed by it at the time. And those mixed feelings sometimes ended up leaking into his view and writing about Cesare and some historical events, and what he believed had happened (e.g., the take of Urbino), and I find that very interesting. In any case, the point is: Sabatini’s Cesare is unrealistic, and it constantly enters into conflict with what Sabatini also presents as evidence for his history. I mean, he insists throughout the book in reaffirming Cesare was a utter egoist, cold man. Only moved by his ambition and thirst for power. He was incapable of kindness, or of being considerate with others, of feeling compassion, without ulterior motives involved. All of his actions were always calculated to only serve his own interests. Everyone around him were pawns to be used and discarded when they were no longer of any use to him. We are to believe he was a cynic, a block of ice, essentially. We are also to believe he never had genuine emotional bonds with anyone, much less with women. Women were interchangeble to him. Sabatini was convinced he was a man incapable of having a sentimental side, of loving or of having any connection with them beyond the physical aspect. But then, in between chapters, sometimes pages, he also tell us how Cesare seems to have deeply grieved the death of his cousin, Giovanni Borgia, whom he refers as Mio Fatre in his letters. He gives an honest, if quick, account about the marriage and relationship between Cesare and Charlotte d’Albret, in which Cesare’s obvious feelings for her can be seen, as well as his kindness and respect towards her. Sabatini admits the evidence shows they may well have loved each other, and that when leaving Charlotte in charge of all his affairs in France, as the governor and administrator of his lands and lorships there, as well as his heiress in case of his death, Cesare shows “his esteem of her and the confidence he reposed in her mental qualities.” And of Cesare’s policies and behavior as its ruler in the Romagna, it reaches a point where his mere self-interest doesn’t quite alone explain his relationship with this romagnese subjects and many of his decisions. It undermines Sabatini’s claim that it was for show and for his political gain. Last but not least, what is one supposed to make of the hypothesis he posits to the what I like to call, the Dorotea affair? This event is the peak of his contradiction and his mental gymnastics, because to be sure, his hypothesis is not far-fetched. I will concede I thought it was the first I read his bio. But over the years, between carefully separating fiction from history and reading other sources, then going back to his bio, I recognized his hypothesis is one of the plausible ones, certainly more plausible than the official sensationalistic narrative of Cesare simply abducting the innocent maiden Dorotea out on a whim, to satisfy his lust, (the fact Borgia scholars  are still repeating this narrative with a straight face is beyond my comprehension), I can see Cesare doing what he proposes, it def. aligns better with my understanding of him, and all the historical material I’ve read about him and his times, however, this hypothesis is completely irreconcilable with Sabatini’s Cesare. So, he says one thing, then he says another that’s incompatible with the first thing he said, and then proceeds to show evidence that either puts into doubt or confirms the opposite of his characterization of Cesare. And that’s only considering the historical info he dedided to include in his bio. If he had included some of the info Alvisi presents in his Duca di Romagna, a work he must have checked out, if not read it all, given one of the languages he spoke was Italian, and Alvisi’s bio is the best and most authoritative historical work made to date about Cesare and his life, I believe he would have struggled a lot more than he did. It just seems like he enters into a trap of his own making. Turning an already difficult task more difficult than it needs to be, honestly. Ironically, his stance is as messy and contradictory as the aforementioned Gregorovius in his Lucrezia Borgia, where you also have two Cesare(s): the one he sees and wants to present versus the one that emerges from the his own writing at times and historical material he himself exposes it. Overall, his work frustrates on some fronts, and I think it could have been better. It has its faults, some the typical faults/vices fond in Borgia biographies, others very much his own, but nevertheless I have a fondness for his bio which I do not share with others bios on Cesare, or the Borgia family. It is the only bio in the English language I find myself reading again and again, and the one I would put it first as better, or more decent, in this language about Cesare. I admire his honesty, and his bravery in challenging a little bit of Cesare’s dark legend, and the baseless accusations attached to his name. I appreciate what he tried to do, the very least of what I expect from a serious historian when dealing with figures as infamous in popular imagination as Cesare and Rodrigo Borgia. There is no denying his work was one of the main works which advanced Cesare’s historical literature, and the approach to his figure. Moving slightly from the literary, colorful, villain-like character of the Italian Renaissance, towards starting to be more seriously studied as a historical figure properly. And oh my god, yes, interrupting the narrative to talk about how hot Cesare was. It’s funny you mentioned that, because I don’t remember him doing that so much (time for a re-read!), but that's one of the characteristics of the Borgian/Cesarean historical literature heh. I’m yet to read a bio where authors do not feel the need to take a moment to talk about how hot he was, some even a poetic way lol, it’s so amusing, and always the one thing I know I will agree with them, if nothing else. Also, I think Borgia bios have huge potential for drinking games! Like: take a shot of tequila every time Cesare gets badmouthed for no reason, or baselessly asserted guilty of questionable murders, fratricide, rape, and abduction. Or when Juan and Cesare envied and hated each other narrative is repeated. Or when Guicciardini, Sanuto, Cappello and Giustinian are uncritically used as credible sources for Rodrigo and Cesare. Every time Lucrezia gets painted as the Good Borgia, the pretty, passive doll who was the helpless victim of the terrible Borgia men. Or when authors get uncomfortably shippy with the Cesare/Lucrezia relationship resulting in exaggerated claims such as: Lucrezia was Cesare’s only exception, or they were unusually close as siblings, etc. And of course, whenever Cesare’s hotness and allure has to be talked about dsjdsjsj, the list is long, and I think it will get you drunk very quickly. I know I couldn’t keep up back when I was reading Sacerdote’s bio, and I was drinking wine so. As for recs in the English language, I would say Woodward’s bio has its value in terms of sources and historical documents. I also think his analysis about politics, about Cesare’s goverment in the Romagna, and also concerning the conclave of 1503 are generally good. His last five, four chapters are the best ones imo, so if you are interested in these points I mentioned, it might be worth checking out. I would just open a caveat saying that as far as a biography about the person of Cesare Borgia is concerned, it is weak and to be read with a grain of salt. I was mostly unimpressive by his work on that front, and I thought about quitting time and again. He likes presenting himself as the impartial historian, (a big red flag that only makes me twice as cautious when reading any historical work) writing in a mostly sober tone, but of course like all scholars, all people, he has his bias, and they do come to surface from time to time. He displays an peculiar antipathy and ill will towards Cesare at times, which leads to harsh, confusing, unsubstantiated claims about his character and some of the events about his life. In contrast, you can see he is more benevolent and fair towards Rodrigo Borgia, and a constant thought I had while reading his bio was that he obviously chose the wrong Borgia to write a bio on. Had he chose Rodrigo as his Borgia subject, I believe we would have had a pretty good bio about him and his papacy.

#ask answered #anon ask #cesare borgia #césar borgia #house borgia in history #auth: rafael sabatini #long text #i thought many times about making this shorter #but as it is said: yolo djsdjsdjs #i have many thoughts about sabatini #and the influence of his Cesare in followers scholars' works #i also think he had an interesting mind of his own #and i think that's part of the reason why i love his writings so much #despite their flaws #so yeah

[moosoobi]

Confessions

In the night: Chapter 2

T.Jeff- Hamilton: the musical 

Y/N can’t hold all her secrets. She’s tired of hiding. The people deserve the truth. Here’s her confession: the one she should’ve told us long ago

I started to write this chapter the day after I finished chapter 1, yet before the first chapter was even published (time management queen). As I’m typing this message, I’m currently distracting myself from finals LMAO. Anyway, I wanted to finish this chapter as soon as possible to give some explanation of the events in the previous chapter, so I hope I do exactly that. I’m still manifesting that I articulate through this story smoothly, please give me feedback <3 

MC (aka Y/N’s) POV 

Modern au 

Word Count: 5.4k

A few unrealistic realities, but I’m working with what I got

This chapter will most likely answer many questions about chapter 1 

THIS CHAPTER OCCURS AT THE SAME TIME AS CHAPTER 1! all events in this chapter line up with the events of chapter 1

Disclaimers: 

TW: violence, abuse, mentions of blood, themes of injury, itty bitty angst?

photo not mine <3

If you have any questions/concerns about this story, DONT BE SHY TO ASK ME! This is my first time writing a whole series, so I apologize if the plot gets confusing. 

-Now Playing: Broken Clocks by SZA-

Where to start… 

My attention was taken from Professor Washington’s lecture the moment I felt a pair of eyes attempting to pierce a hole in the back of my head. As I look back, I realize that it’s no one other than Thomas Jefferson, the spoiled francophile, or so people like the whisper, but gossip’s not my thing.

Upon being called out by Professor Washington, I couldn’t hold in my giggle as Thomas’s head ducks down in embarrassment. I suppose he sure knows how to lighten the demeanor in the lecture hall; It was a nice excuse to take my eyes off of Washington’s low-quality power-point presentation, but I appreciate that the man is trying. 

This class feels like it’ll last forever, and I contemplate if I could just perish in my seat at this very instant, yet Thomas’s presence seems to make it worthwhile. I don’t know him that much, or maybe at all for that matter, but since he’s been seen with a Schuyler, the locals around here can’t seem to keep their mouths shut about him. 

From what I’ve heard, he’s another silver-spoon raised boy representing Virginia up here in New York. A few scholarships here and there, as well as a trip to France for a semester. I don’t see what all the fuss is about; He seems like a pretty cool person, probably has an exciting life, and isn’t throwing away his shot. It’s odd, even with parents to piggyback off of, Thomas is very similar to a certain orphan I know. 

“Class is dismissed” Is all I heard from Professor Washington’s mouth before that obnoxious but relieving bell sounds off. 

Desperate to get out of this class, I hurry to put my stationery items into my burgundy-magenta backpack. You’d think after those turbulent years of high school that college would motivate me for fancier bags, but I can’t say no to my favorite color. It’s simple, won’t bring attention to my presence, unlike every other decision I’ve made in my life. 

After I finally finished packing up, I can’t wait to take a breath of the fresh, polluted air of New York City. I quickly spotted my roommate's car within the crowd of vehicles next to the sidewalk. He’s on time, as always, to pick me up from class, and I’m grateful that he sacrifices his time for me, but it’s not like he had a choice. I toss my bag into the trunk, surely crinkling a few important papers. Upon reaching the door of his expensive car, my roommate greets me with joy to see me. 

“How was class, Cherie?” 

Lafayette, my roommate, shoots a smile at me, his white teeth are almost blinding, but he always says I’m exaggerating. 

“Boring as always, but I’m still here, sadly” I say as I hop into the front seat of Lafayette’s car. He pouts in my direction 

“Ahh, c’mon, don’t be like that.” Once he acknowledges the buckling of my seatbelt, he begins to power up the car. “C’est la vie, Y/N” I roll my eyes, my hatred for him grows just a little more every time he says that. 

“Can we get McDonald’s?” I attempt to change the subject, earning a small chuckle from him. He prepares to drive off “You know I can't say no to you and your American junk food” 

And so we begin to drive off  

Lafayette and I indeed have a bit of history together. After I got mistakenly involved with Alexander and his clique, Lafayette was the next best (or worse) person to walk into my life. He’s sweet, charming, probably all the things Americans are not; the gentleman hails from France. Yet he’s so much more than that. 

Ever since I caught his eye at that obnoxious high school party, he and I hit the ground running. Disclosing the events which took place in his-

our bedroom won’t solve the problem, but the stubble on his jaw and the way he holds the steering wheel with one hand nearing my thigh reminds me of the unresolved sexual tension between the both of us. 

I’ve only been living in his apartment for a few months, an idea he proposed when I mentioned my dreadful rent. A nice view, nice coffee maker, and nice bedsheets were more than enough to convince me, but I know there’s more to that “nice” list that I shouldn’t disclose. 

Though I know his intentions were good, I’m sure he invited me into his abode to protect me from Alex. 

Since I began to band with Alex and his gang, Alexander’s been strict about getting me home on time. It wasn’t only because I was a helpless high school student, but also to prevent me from ratting him and his group out to the authorities. 

Upon joining Alex's posse, a strict curfew has been placed on me, only to ensure I stay safe at night, or perhaps to make sure I don’t betray them. 

Moving in with Lafayette made following this time limitation easier for me, especially since he volunteers to drive me home or takes a stand for me. If the unfortunate event of my arrival past my ‘bedtime’ timer occurs, Alexander ensures I pay the price.

Speaking of arrivals, Lafayette passes me a box of hot, salty fries and a smile spreads across my face. His eyes visibly soften as my entire demeanor changes.  

“Have I ever told you that you’re the best person ever?” I spilled my thoughts while stuffing my mouth with fries. He lightly chuckles, watching me. 

“Maybe a couple of times..” He prepares to drive off again “...too many times, actually.” he shot a wink at me. 

Blood didn’t have any time to rush to my cheeks before I could slap the side of his shoulder, causing him to whine in discomfort. I sigh before returning my focus to the steaming fries in front of me. The tension grows, and so does the silence between us. Eager to break the tension, I propose an idea. 

“Let’s go home?” we turn to each other at the same time 

“Oui.” 

---

I enter Professor Washington’s lecture hall and my attention is driven to the two curly-headed Virginians. I watch in secondhand embarrassment as Thomas Jefferson and his friend playfully argue in front of the entire class, seemingly a heated debate of the greatness of Mac and Cheese. One argues on behalf of the gooey pasta, while the other simultaneously retorts with a mix of “you’re so stupid” and “God help me”. 

Feeling a rush of confidence and suaveness, my brain urges my body to intervene in their conversation. Maybe it was to make new friends, or perhaps to stop the class from staring at their dumb dispute, but I swiftly walk over to them. The next few words to come out of my mouth fell into place oh-so-perfectly. 

“Hey, can I sit here?” 

Upon sitting in between the two Virginians, they introduce themselves. The calmer, self-collected man among the two introduced himself as James Madison, while the bolder, upbeat man introduced himself as no other than Thomas Jefferson. Both of them seemed happy that I interrupted and decided to reach out to them, maybe one was a tad more excited than the other. 

And ever since then, Professor Washington can’t seem to split up our trio. From childish jokes and a few inappropriate inferences, Thomas and James make great company. The idiotic smile that spreads across Thomas’s face whenever he’s capable of making James and I break our silence during class would become more annoying than Lafayette saying “C’est la vie” whenever I make a poor life decision. 

Nevertheless, Thomas and James dangerously remind me of Alexander and his goons. The abundant amount of self-praise and cocky remarks said by both Thomas and Alexander is almost astronomical. In the case of Thomas and Alexander’s meeting, I’m sure they’d be the best of friends. But likewise, I could also envision the two attempting to tear each other's heads off, the chaotic clashing of two powerful minds. 

They always know what to say and when to say it. I’ve never met anyone as clever as Thomas and James, and they’re even worse when they’re together.  

“‘ ‘s Adams here today? Washington told me to turn in my papers t’ him.” Thomas whispers as he eases into his chair, Washington’s booming voice seems to become background noise to us 

“Is he ever?” I reply, attempting not to giggle at my own response “I haven’t seen him since Washington initially introduced him to the class.” 

“Maybe he’s jus’ sick or somethin’. Kinda reminds me of you, James'' His head of curls turns to stare down James, in which James replies by rolling his eyes 

“He can stay home, he does the same amount of work there anyways.” James cleverly retorted. 

And that seemed to be our last straw before bursting out in laughter. Thomas’s body flung forward as he laughed his head off, James ducking his head to hide his glee behind his laptop, and I quickly slap a hand over my mouth to prevent anyone around us from drawing suspicion. But apparently, Washington wasn’t having our disguises. 

“Can the three of you even tell me what I just said?” Washington turns around from the board to scan the crowd, his eagle eyes find us quickly 

The silence was all we could emit, and soon enough, He turned back to his lesson. I sigh with relief; the last thing I need is to get kicked out of a class I don’t even pay for. 

…

...

“Washington sure got a shiny ass head. D’you think he uses shampoo and conditioner?” Whispered Thomas as he leans over to me 

And just like that,  we’re faced with the same struggle all over again.

—-

Lafayette adjusted the hot pan, erupting a few sizzles. The wall clock ticked, the hour arm froze pointing to the “11” written in roman numerals. Lafayette and I decided to agree on a home-cooked meal, and although it’s too late for an average dinner, yet too early to be defined as a midnight snack, I’m sure Lafayette’s cooking will satisfy me for the night. 

“Y/NN, would you prefer salt on your omelet? Or did you decide to be healthy tonight?” He said holding a salt shaker in the air to steal my focus from the swirling red liquid in my glass. 

My head lifts to meet his eyes. I tilt my head, the wine causing me to ponder for a little longer than I should’ve. He continues to stare at me, holding in a laugh, before I force myself to nod. 

“Yeah.. a little won’t hurt” I hear him chuckle at my drunken dialect, but I know the French man isn’t about to lecture me about English “Your wish is my command.” 

I watch as he conducts the kitchen perfectly. He knows where everything is, exactly what to add into the sizzling pan, maybe even the exact second to take the meal off the flame. 

“I thought you weren’t a fan of monarchy?” the sarcasm was evident in my tone “but I appreciate the submission” I shot him a playful wink, to which he responds with a pompous smirk

A few sips of wine later, I recognize notification that has been staring back at me for hours. 

1 Message from Thomas

A text from Thomas? And I’m barely seeing this now? I silently scold myself for giving into the wine before opening the message.

“Thomas: Hey this is Thomas from class, wanna come study with us at the library sometime?”

My eyes become glued to my phone. It was certainly necessary for me to reread Thomas’s text, I was unsure if the alcohol was beginning to make me see odd things, but I assured myself I was correct.

I could feel the blush spread across my face. Maybe it’s just the wine taking control, or maybe it’s the butterflies in my stomach forming every time I reread his message. A harmless invite, perhaps evoked from Thomas due to James stroking his ego, but I know James’ wouldn’t promote such a bold, straight-forward message. Though Thomas is known for his meticulous confidence and certainty, a message this simple could be notably deceiving. 

But a little socializing won’t damage my self-respect. “Be bold, Y/N” is what I used to tell myself at the beginning of the semester, and what do I have to lose? I begin to type my reply.

“Y/N: yeah I’m down :) just send a time and place and I’ll be on my way”

Sent.

 My introspection was soon interrupted by the screeching plate being slid in my direction by Lafayette, the steam circulating the meal 

“Y/N, Mangeons.” My head comes up from my phone, my eyes meet his eyes momentarily. 

“Thanks, Laf.” I reply before taking a fork from him and digging into the steaming meal ahead of me. Lafayette’s cooking never disappoints. Ever. 

My body couldn’t help but pick up my phone every few minutes to respond to Thomas’s messages, Though they were just the details of the hangout-offer he previously proposed, I felt enclosed in my little bubble while texting him. Those few moments of interaction with him somehow made my day better. I’m sure even Lafayette could see my radiating energy, but I’m not sure how he took it.

We’re technically not a couple; a few hookups and moving in together don't make us an official couple, right? 

“Merci, Laffy.” I watched as he visibly cringed at my poor attempt at french. “Let’s just stick to our mother tongues, angel.” He retorted. I laughed it off, yet inside his reply left a scratch on my pride. 

--- 

Another class of absolute foolery and childish inferences, and I can’t help but laugh as Thomas, James, and I exit the lecture hall. The New-York cold hits us harshly, but being about a month into this semester, students already know what to expect. 

It was indeed embarrassing, running to Lafayette’s car to remind him of your library study session. 

“Alright, I’ll pick you up before your curfew, okay?” He asked with one hand on the wheel. His faux-leather jacket contorting around his toned arms made it difficult not to remember the moments they shared around midnight. The imagery of their candle-lit room appearing in her head as he sat at the wheel stopped her from replying for a moment. 

“Y-Yeah sounds great. You’re the best, you know that?” She thanked him for sacrificing his time to make sure she arrives home on time. 

“You remind me all the time.” He sneaks in a small wink between his sentences “I’ll see you tonight, Cherie” 

Y/N smiled before turning around to prance over to her friends. Y/N heard the faint sounds of Lafayette driving off, sighing in relief

After briefly explaining my situation to the boys, we quickly head over to the library. 

A woman in a coral-pink blazer and pants set is waiting impatiently at a table she rented out just for us. “What in the world took you guys so long?” She pressured for an answer 

“C’mon Angie, that wasn’t even ten minutes.” Thomas rolled his eyes before removing his backpack and opening a chair for Y/N. Real smooth, Thomas, I can’t lie. He looked over to me, seeing stars in my eyes as I realize I’m standing next to the oldest Schuyler.

 “You’re-” She interrupted me with a smile, sticking out her hand to shake mine

“Angelica Schuyler. And you?” I swear her name sounds familiar. I’m sure I’ve heard it around but I just can't place it. I do see her on my social media feed from time to time, and I must admit, she looks even more heavenly in person. 

“Y/N L/N.” My hand meets hers in a firm handshake. 

“Nice to meet you.” 

—-

At first, I thought nothing of it. 

Though Lafayette’s text at 7:30 (on the dot) did push me out of my zone, I did appreciate his promise to me. 

Thomas on the other hand seemed disturbed by my sudden leave, but it’s not like he’d understand. Alexander would literally kill me if I were home late.

But Thomas and I would continue to hang out. His evening texts would slowly become a weekly routine. Whether it was a scary movie or an ice cream date for just the two of us, he always found a way to spend time with me. 

“Don’t tell me that mint chocolate chip is actually your favorite flavor, darlin’.” He adjusted his position on the park bench and raised an eyebrow, his gaze focused on the green ice cream atop my ice cream cone “You might make me regret takin’ you out tonight” he chuckled and I couldn’t help but smile 

“You know you love me” I jokingly retorted, scooping part of my ice cream with my tongue, and relaxing against the bench.

It’s very rare to get to relax like this. Not only am I a fully-fledged college student, but also one of Alexander’s goons. The weekends are merely just ‘weekdays: the sequel’, but add forbidden literature and alcohol to that equation.

I look back up to Thomas, seeing his disgusted face. “Wait.. are you actually against mint chocolate chip ice cream?” I cocked an eyebrow towards him

He shrugged before chuckling “I recall telling you of my unfortunate arguments while visiting England..” 

“..so what does mint chocolate chip ice cream have to do with your political upheavals in a foreign country?” 

He smirked in an ‘all knowing’ manner. “Well, Darlin, if you did your research—“

“—You’ve got to be kidding me—“I start to wonder why I even asked 

“—you’d learn that the monstrosity in your ice cream cone, mint chocolate chip, originated in England.” He completed his statement with triumph “Ever since my disagreements in England, I swore to despise such a concoction until the day I die.” 

I looked at him like he was crazy. “I can’t believe you did your research on English creations. You’re so dramatic sometimes” I respond 

“Hey, I wouldn’t be a Jefferson if I wasn’t.” He stared back to his cone, the mesmerizing ice cream almost reflecting himself back at him. 

We shared silence for a moment. Words were unnecessary when we were together. 

“I suppose..” Jefferson started “...I might be able to tolerate mint chocolate chip ice cream, but only for you, though.” He turned towards my direction 

My eyes soon met his. “Well, I’m honored to be your exemption, Jefferson.” I smile with triumph, recognizing my effect on him. 

He swiftly takes my hand, his skin feels burning compared to mine. Our eyes remain connected as he dips his head down to kiss the back of my hand. I attempt to hide the fact that my heart stopped beating for a moment, but the breath hitching in my throat wouldn’t help me at all. 

“Let’s drop the formalities, Darlin, you can call me Thomas now.” My hand remained between his. I try my best to keep my hand still, wanting to marinate in this moment forever. 

A new feeling courses through my body. Something unfamiliar. Perhaps it’s the charm of a Southern Gentleman. Maybe the feeling of being treated right for the first time, something I’ve never experienced from anyone.

What have I ever done to deserve this chivalrous kindness? 

‘What a gentleman’ I repeat to myself in my mind. What makes him so different from the others? 

From a simple kiss, I suddenly crave more.

More than the unresolved sexual tension between Lafayette and I. 

More than I was ever granted the opportunity to. 

Maybe ‘more’ is what I deserve. 

My mind bleeds with the thought of Lafayette, but Thomas seems like he has so much more to offer. What if I do deserve to be happy? I may not have earned it, but who gets to declare my right to happiness? I was once happy with Lafayette, but the times have changed

He’s just not him. He’s just not Thomas.

---

But no matter how much I enjoyed spending time with Jefferson himself, I was always the first one to leave. I had to. 

I remember the way his smile would fall at the sound of Lafayette’s car horn. 

The way his jaw tenses whenever my phone vibrates across the table 

Whenever Lafayette came to pick me up, I also can’t help but feel a part of my soul crack within me. 

“I’ll see you this weekend?” He kisses the back of my hand once more in an attempt to savor this moment, continuing to maintain eye contact.

“I’ll try, Thomas. Not sure if I’m busy.” I sigh with fatigue. “But I’ll let you know.” 

“Alright. Get home safe, darlin’” I hear him stand from the park bench as I wander to Lafayette’s car, his eyes following my figure. 

I hop into Lafayette’s car before taking one last glance in Thomas’s direction, watching as his figure begins to walk in the opposite direction that our car was heading. 

“Ahh, Y/N. Don’t tell me you’re cheating on me” his sarcastic tone wouldn’t pierce deep enough. 

I speak without thinking. “I do recall you claiming that you and I were never a couple, remember Laf?” My change in demeanor was certain to shut him up. And he did. 

He’s just not him. He’s just not Thomas. 

I remained turned away from Lafayette as we drove through the city. The memories built between Lafayette and I constantly falls like a house of cards, but I prefer to avoid the subject.

Lafayette felt otherwise, yet respected my choice. 

He was the first to speak.

“Alexander needs me for a transport this weekend.” He stated, “I’m not sure when I’ll get back, so it’s very important that you get back from whatever plans you have before your curfew.” He takes a glance over to me and briefly meets my eyes 

“Don’t test the waters, Y/N.”

Ah yes, the monthly literature transportation of Alexander’s gang. 

The Notorious Sons of Liberty. 

A popular group roaming the streets of New York. But instead ironically of selling drugs or performing homicide, they produce and sell illegal, banned literature and disperse them to the highest bidders. 

How else do you think I pay for college? 

Although gang violence isn’t really their thing, that doesn’t mean they’re not in possession of such weaponry and devices. I’ve never seen anyone take literature as seriously as they do.

They’re also known for their bold publicity stunts, which are indeed fun to watch from a nearby coffee shop. Watching Alexander, Lafayette, and some other friends, John and Herc, run from the authorities on a Sunday afternoon, accidentally laughing at the sight of John tripping over his own feet, Lafayette mouthing ‘help us out’ in my direction. Very entertaining. 

On the contrary, their security on me has become tighter and tighter. I know they worry for the gang’s reputation over my safety, but it feels nice to imagine having a battalion of book-worm gang members watching over you. 

“I know, I know. You guys can stop treating me like a kid” I attempt to contain a giggle to portray my seriousness. 

He takes a glance at me before returning his attention to the road. “You cannot say that until you have another way home other than me.” He sighed rather loudly 

“Be careful, or I might do just that, Lafayette.” 

---

I sipped on wine and ate cheese at Thomas’s place without a care in the world on a Saturday night. Of course, I had to accept Thomas’s offer, I never knew how to say no to him. 

Jefferson has sure been taking his sweet time to put a title on us. Now, I’m no philosopher when it comes to dating, but Ice cream at the park, fancy dinners, and wine and cheese sure sound romantic. 

My night was going well. All until the 7:30 alarm on my phone rang, and before I knew it, everything began to go downhill

[events of chapter 1]

And next thing I knew, the cold New York air slapped my face, following the harsh slam of the apartment door. 

As my adrenaline began to settle down, panic rushed through my body. 

Fuck. At this rate, I won’t be home until after my curfew. Although my immediate instinct was to sprint my way home, those thoughts were quickly followed by the idea of passing out within five minutes. My apartment isn’t too far, but being fueled by wine and cheese doesn’t sound like the best idea. 

“Don’t test the waters, Y/N” echoed throughout my head. 

I begin to walk down the street before whipping out my phone to contact an Uber. 

The small talk produced between my driver and I worked a bit to calm myself down, but that would all change the moment I walked through my apartment door. 

Once I turn back around from locking the door, I’m met with exactly what I didn’t want to see at this very moment. 

Lafayette stood staring at me, his lips pursed with anxiousness, recognizing my significantly late arrival. 

Hercules, another good friend I’ve met through the sons of liberty, stood beside Lafayette. His mouth hung open in shock as he also recognized my mistake. 

John, the group’s smallest yet mightiest, leaned against the wall, perhaps planning my fate right in front of me 

And none other than Alexander Hamilton himself, sipping scotch on my couch, similarly to how I was not too long ago at Thomas’s place. The glare on his face quickly reminded me that I was in big trouble. 

“Y/N, I thought I told you—“ Lafayette began but was quickly interrupted 

“You’re late.” He swirled his drink before standing up. The clock ticked, and the hour hand notably passed the 8:30 symbol. I was not getting out of this one. 

Although I feared for the following moments, I attempted to contain my emotions within myself. I kept my straight face for the time being. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. 

“I’m well aware.” That came out of my mouth  a little too harsh for my liking 

“May I remind you that being out past your curfew could severely damage our image.” 

I saw John look over to Alex from the corner of my eye. The air became thinner if that were even possible, and I refused to meet his eyes.

“And I do recall reminding you of your consequences.” He walked towards me and I felt my heart froze. “Having you out so late could raise some suspicions among our competitors, L/N.” 

I couldn’t find the right words and resort to nodding instead 

“I always fucking told you—“ he harshly slammed his drink onto the table beside him “—not to test the waters—” 

“—I-I know—“

“So why the fuck are you stumbling in here past your curfew?”

 At this very moment, I wondered if I had pulled the last straw. 

I couldn’t speak. God forbid I spat out the wrong words. Contained within my thoughts, I didn’t acknowledge Alexander closing the distance between us. 

“Ow!--” I watched as Alex shoved me to the wall, the moment playing in slow motion in my head. 

Lafayette’s throat grew dry “Hey, Alex, Calm dow-” 

He was interrupted by the sound of Alexander harshly slapping me across the face. My hands quickly went to soothe what felt like fire burning my cheek. 

“We do so much for you, Y/N.” Alex growled 

The sharp pain in my side grew, almost echoing throughout my body. I could feel my body giving up on itself. I mean, this wouldn’t be the first time Alex has acted like this. 

Occasionally, Alex would stop by Lafayette and I’s apartment just to ensure I was home before my curfew, and he wasn’t the most forgiving. 

--He owns an apartment key and has every single one of his gang member’s location tracked on his phone. Sometimes I wondered what was so special about us to have to keep all of us in check 24/7--

One time Hercules and I went shopping a little too late after sunset, part of me felt like a reckless teenager, probably because I was. I still remember Alexander’s face when I entered my own apartment, he looks identical every time. 

In an attempt to shelter me, my body curled into itself against the wall. I shrunk to the floor, feeling his shadow intensely stand above me. 

“Arghh!—“ the sound spilled out of me when I felt Alexander’s shin connect with my rib cage. 

My lungs felt punctured under the pressure.

My arms felt like they could give out any second.

Part of me had wished I’d stay at Thomas’s place tonight, even if it meant telling him the truth. 

What a predicament I’ve gotten myself into. 

I looked up, wondering if my torment was over until I was met with a —Crack— Alexander’s knee encountered my face. 

It was only a moment before I could hear the shuffling of the others’ shoes. I prayed they were coming to help me out.

Alexander lifted his glass of alcohol, previously forgotten, and hauled it towards me

Crash! 

The piercing shards of glass combining with the stinging alcohol were the last thing I needed on a Saturday night. I didn’t notice the tears falling from my eyes until now, and the way my heart felt like it was just on a rollercoaster. 

I kept my head low, watching blood drip down my face and onto the floor below me. And apparently, I wasn’t the only one to notice. 

“Alex! What the fuck?!” I heard Laurens yell

“Are you trying to kill her?!?” I recognized Lafayette’s scream

Before Alex was able to make another blow, Lauren and Lafayette were quick to hold him back, attempting to calm him down. 

Hercules swiftly knelt beside me, the guilt was obvious in his gaze. I hated the pity in each of their glances towards me. He attempted to wipe away the blood from my forehead with a paper towel. 

Alexander fought back against the two, trying his best to prove his point. There’s the Hamilton we all know, unwilling to stand down no matter the cost.

Hercules turned back to me, his words were ready to leave his mouth from the moment we reconnected eyes. 

“Y/N..” He pulled me up and shoved me out of my apartment door. “..Run.” I almost stumbled into a nearby pole, but I began running, if running in my condition was possible, back to Thomas’s place. 

—-

[events of chapter 1]

The next thing I knew, I woke up in Thomas’s bed beside him. I took a moment to soak in the feeling of his satin sheets. Part of me can’t recall the events before I passed out in front of Thomas’s apartment, or maybe my mind refuses to remember them. 

The sun hasn’t risen yet. 

I turn to my side and reach for my phone, wincing from the pressure applied to my rib cage. 

The bright light of my phone hitting my eyes felt like I was transported to another dimension. 

54 notifications: 

12 calls from Lafayette 🥐

24 texts from Lafayette 🥐

1 text from Alexander 💡

3 calls from Mariah 💋

14 texts from Mariah 💋

“oh fuck..” I sigh, wondering how things will play out. 

Out of curiosity, I open the message from Alexander. Perhaps it’s an apology? Maybe a reminder? 

Alexander 💡: I know where you are, Y/N. Don’t drag your friend into this. Because I can.

Where I am? I ask myself

My heart dropped, remembering that Alexander tracks my location 24/7. He knows where I am at this very second. 

By escaping to Thomas’s apartment, I’ve just dragged him into this mess I’ve made. If my worlds collide, it would all be because I ran to this exact apartment. 

Panic once again rushed through my body. 

I need to get out of here. I need to leave. 

I slip out from under the sheets and grab my belongings. Unprepared for what’s to come, I steal one of Thomas’s jackets from his cluttered desk chair. I’ll give it back eventually, I thought to myself. 

After I put on my shoes I take one last glance toward Thomas. 

He seems so peaceful when he’s asleep, tangled in his blanket, not to mention his name-brand Mac and cheese pajama pants. 

I’m sorry if I drag you into this, Thomas, you just wouldn’t understand.

Taglist <3: @kenmacrumbs @strayblades  @laic2299 @ohsoverykeri

#alexander hamilton #hamilton #hamilton fanfic #hamiltonau #thomas jefferson #thomas jefferson fanfic #james madison #Hercules Mulligan #John Laurens #marquis de Lafayette #lafayette x reader #flirty!lafayette #gang member!alexanderhamilton #gangAU #modern au #HAMILTRASH #in the night #gangmember!lafayette #gangmember!herculesmulligan #gangmember!johnlaurens #the way this chapter took me two months golly #daveed diggs #thomas jefferson x reader #hercules mulligan #hamiltrash #lafayette #incorrect hamilton quotes