#[ ch: remus lupin. ]

[hanasnx]

eyes on fire.

NOTES: this is an indy-fied remus lupin so if you disagree with his characterization you are just disagreeing with the version i made up in my head. WARNINGS: none besides ooc remus and unestablished relationship.

"... and so you see—Mr. Lupin?" The professor's voice goes unheeded as REMUS LUPIN remains where he lay, his temple resting against his textbook. The professor grows antsy, and repeats firmly, "Mr. Lupin." You watch, batting eyes at how he lulls his head to face her as his chin stays glued to the book and he looks up at her through his fair eyelashes. The end of your quill strokes against your jaw in thought. "Your desk is not your pillow to cuddle up to at night, Mr. Lupin, up you go." she hurries him, and his nose sneers as he sucks in an audible breath through it.

Because of his positioning, his head bobs from his slurred words, explaining he didn't get much sleep last night, and when she questions him with an indignant expression, he takes it as an invitation. "Did'ja talk to y'a mum last night?" Typical immature high school humor that has his cohorts stifling their snickers, banging their fists against the wood. The sheer incredulity of your professor's reddening face is enough to spur them on, especially when Remus is promptly kicked out of class.

"You watch your tongue!" she gasps. "Do you enjoy your little visits with the Headmaster? It’s become quite a habit. Collect your things, Mr. Lupin, I'll see you tomorrow if you're lucky.”

It's as entertaining as a train wreck and you can't look away, faithfully gazing at him as he sighs loud enough to be obnoxious in the cavernous classroom. Standing, you see how tall he is, certainly taller than any of your peers, he towers over everyone as he throws the strap of his bag on his shoulder. His head hangs back as he kicks his chair in under the table as unceremoniously as possible. The ardent aloofness and unbothered nature of him draws you in, and you wonder if it's exasperated by his lack of sleep or the company he keeps. Everyone knows Potter and Black must be some kind of bad influences from how the jeer at him as he rounds the tables.

Unexpectedly, he gives you the eye as he passes by your desk. With the ambiance of the awkward silence filled by the professor's continued berating, you're taken aback at how he holds your eye contact with that attractive bored expression on his face. His fist reaches into your direction, rapping his knuckles against the wood where you sit, leisurely making his way to the back of the class and to the Headmaster's office. You gulp, unable to tear away from the back of him.

#indy: drabbles #ch: remus #remus lupin drabbles #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fic #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin fanfiction #remus x reader #remus x you #remus x y/n #remus imagine #remus fanfic #reader insert #remus lupin #marauders x reader #the marauders #marauders

[soloorganaas]

Sirius, bipolar disorder and 1981

I’ve held the headcanon for a while that Sirius being bipolar was a fundamental part of his breakdown in 1981, that led to him believing Remus was the spy and failing to prevent Lily and James’s deaths, as well as ultimately being the reason Remus was persuaded that Sirius (not entirely consciously) betrayed James and committed mass-murder. so I’ve laid out all my thoughts about this below

Sirius’s breakdown leading up to Oct 31, 1981

bipolar episodes of mania/depression are not responses to external events in the same way regular depression or anxiety are. they will inevitably happen at some point however stable your life is. however, a traumatic event can sometimes trigger a period of mania/depression that spirals beyond the actual event itself

there is no doubt that Sirius was experiencing compound trauma by 1981. there isn’t any specific canon as to when he became involved in the Order, but we know by this point he was deep in the fight and presumably had been for around a year or more. he was living with the constant, extreme stress of being in potentially fatal missions, as well as the risk of losing his loved ones who were doing the same

Sirius’s friendship with James and the impact the danger he faced had on Sirius during this period is fundamental to his breakdown. James was central to his conception of safety and stability. he rescued him emotionally and later physically from his abusive home, and gave him a new loving one. without James, Sirius doesn’t have a home - and therefore the world simply doesn’t make sense. there’s no doubt Sirius would have been living in absolute terror of having his world quite literally torn apart. this would have been magnified tenfold when the specific threat to Harry and therefore James and Lily became apparent, and Sirius had to watch as a war against a fascist terror group became a defense of his best friend’s family being hunted by an unimaginably powerful dark wizard

part of bipolar disorder is the subconscious knowledge that you will at some point crash. there is a sense of inevitability of your world falling apart, like constantly living in a movie waiting for the third act tragedy. for Sirius, watching his world quite literally fall apart, this would undoubtedly have triggered that underlying fear. he is expecting the worst, knowing that it’s going to happen, because it always has

Sirius believing Remus was the spy

Sirius’s struggle with bipolar disorder would lead to his seemingly irrational suspicion of Remus for two main reasons

first is that the chronic instability and tendency toward self-destruction that Sirius experiences as a part of bd is inseparable from his relationship with Remus. breaking up in the heat of manic or depressive episodes is a common bipolar symptom. Remus with his own trauma and mental health issues would never be capable of creating enough stability for the both of them as their relationship formed, and adding into that the struggles of being a gay man in the 70s/80s, they never developed a strong foundation as teens

so the second point is how putting this under the pressure cooker of war doomed them from the outset. without external support or stability, Sirius was always going to spiral down, and Remus would always be unable to cope. by 1981 Sirius is overwhelmed with fear over losing James and utterly unable to think rationally. he’s being pushed to the brink on Order missions. he’s convinced his the world is going to crash down around him. he’s lashing out at the people closest to him and destroying things just for the misguided feeling of control. Remus is watching this happen but is also swept up in his own chronic terror and mental instability, and is utterly unable to understand what Sirius is doing or going through, let alone try and stop it. they are both crashing down around each other, with the very fear they have of losing each other tearing them further apart

at some point I think Sirius simply convinces himself its Remus - because he’s the one hurting him so much with his own part in destroying their relationship, because if anyone is going to tear his world to pieces it would be the one he’s most vulnerable to, because if you want to bring about the destruction by yourself of course you’d pick the person you can hurt the most, because the world is stealing everything from him so of course it would still the one beautiful, tender, miraculous thing he has

Remus being persuaded Sirius betrayed James and Lily

I’m writing ‘persuaded’ deliberately, because there is no way that Remus would instantly believe Sirius could betray James or even murder Peter and a crowd of muggles. they had been friends for over ten years, living in each other’s pockets and they knew each other inside and out. they had built incredibly deep and meaningful bonds as a group. Remus would struggle to believe that Sirius could kill Peter, but he may in the end come to accept it. but he could never, ever have watched Sirius and James for ten years and believe he would consciously betray him

instead, I think Remus came to believe through the persuasion of others (Dumbledore specifically, particularly if you go with the idea he had an interest in keeping Sirius in Azkaban) that Sirius had a breakdown and acted with such reckless self-destruction he inadvertently brought about James and Lily’s deaths. Remus had been dragged down in Sirius’s spiral for a year or longer; if they were by that point together, he would have seen Sirius at his most vulnerable and raw, and understood better than anyone his capacity for manic, irrational self-destruction. he’d seen Sirius do similar things the entire time he’d known him - the prank, for example, which easily fits into a similar theme. Remus knows Sirius is capable of this, he knows he was truly out of his mind with fear

and I think that’s where the anger comes from (aside from fury over him murdering Peter and other innocent people) - that Sirius had spent so long causing harm and never ever learned, that he’d refused to confront his own demons and take responsibility for his destructive tendencies, and in the end it had torn their worlds apart. the fire that had made him so passionate, so full of life, so brave, so loving and so devoted had also made him uncontrollably deadly - it’s not hard to imagine that when Remus more than anyone experienced one side so intensely, he could imagine what the other could lead to

I, personally, don’t think even in a manic state Sirius would ever come close to betraying James. but I think that for Remus, a terrified, traumatised 21 year old who’d lost both his parents and his best friends, had spent three years caught up in a war between two sides that both wanted him dead, and had watched his relationship with the love of his life break down in front of him, it’s a realistic conclusion to come to

Conclusion

mental health issues are intrinsically wound up with Sirius’s story and the tragedies he experiences. i think it’s a disservice to his character to overlook them, especially when fic takes only a shallow look at the sadder, messier parts of his life because it has a tendency towards simply trauma porn. bipolar disorder is my particular headcanon, and I’ve detailed a strong argument for it, but there are plenty of other valid interpretations as well. whichever way Sirius is written, though, at least complying somewhat with canon, the impact of mental health on the complexity of his character and story can’t be overlooked

the other side of the coin to this tragedy is the beauty of Sirius’s escape, formation of his relationship with Harry, and his reunion and reconciliation with Remus. Sirius’s fiery mania is turned into a positive, enabling the incredible feats of breaking out of Azkaban, and living on the rough for two years whilst evading the Ministry’s hunt. it also of course sees older, wiser versions of Sirius and Remus who can look their own and each other’s demons in the eye, face up to them with honesty and courage, and build the relationship they should have had all along. 

#i am Sad #and deep in my PoA feels #wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #bipolar disorder #bipolar sirius black #ch: we choose who we really are #hp #hp meta

[artbyace]

started getting into reading fanfics again and yall i just have to say-

the cadence of part time poets is genuinely my favorite thing i’ve ever read. it’s funny, it’s witty, it’s heart warming and shattering, it’s complex and detailed but easy to read

the characterizations (especially remus and sirius) are my favorite ones i’ve ever seen; and the OCS!!!! omg!! so fucking good

if you’re looking for a long wolfstar fic to commit to, CHOSE THE CADENCE OF PART TIME POETS!!!

#yes the slow burn is SLOW #but #omg #it’s WORTH IT #you will thank me #marauders #txt #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #the cadence of part time poets #wolfstar fic #im on ch 90 rn #so good

[memebijin-love]

Me imagining Wolfstar scenes in TLE but knowing that maybe not even one will exist... sigh 😭. (Btw I dreamed with new chapter again.)

#TLE2 #the last enemy: dark marks by ch darling #ch darling #inlovewiththosemarauders #wolfstar #jily #sirus black #remus lupin #james potter #lily evans #remus x sirius

[spindrifters]

sopping wet declarations of love

(with a sprinkling of light trauma)

“Moony—”

“You shouldn't be with me, you should be with someone who’s not going to fall to pieces without any bloody warning, who’s not—”

“Stop it.”

It’s harsh, cutting through the mire, and Remus looks up. His heart catches.

Because Sirius isn’t concerned anymore. Sirius looks downright angry.

“Stop that,” he says again, voice low, almost dangerous, grey eyes and cheekbones sharpened to a flint. “You don’t get to do that. Martyr yourself on whatever cross you like, Remus, but you don’t get to tell me who I get to love. Alright? That. That’s not yours. That belongs to me, and you don’t get to decide.”

His heart drops into his gut.

“What?” he whispers.

Sirius reaches out and cradles him by the jaw, a hand under each ear, eyes burning, and Remus doesn’t know if he’s angry—he thinks he is—but it’s more than that. And Remus thinks he may have swallowed his own throat, too, by now, if he’s heard right.

“Maybe I’m the broken one, really,” Sirius snaps, all the conviction of his eighteen years behind it, “because I don’t think about sex. Not really. Not like that. Not unless there’s the person first, and then it’s all just them. So if that’s what you need, if that’s what you want, we will get there. Because I want that if it’s with you. We’re capable of too much else not to manage it someday. But in the meantime, you do not get to tell me I shouldn’t want to be with you. That is mine. Alright?”

Remus stares, eyes wide. He’s breathing hard.

“You love me?”

A moment’s pause.

“You said... you said who you get to—”

“Course I love you, you terrific knob. Isn’t it obvious?”

Grey eyes soften, palms at his jaw go slack, and Sirius almost seems resigned. Like he’s ready for Remus to bolt. Remus, however, doesn’t think he could find it in him to make his legs move if he tried. He feels frozen, there, tucked up at the end of his bed. Frozen, but for the heart banging against his chest. Frozen, but for the hundred million thoughts racing through his mind, because love is something for other people. Something you can have once you’re fed and healthy and physically able and capable of holding your own and safe and—

And Sirius has set his jaw, daring him to run. Daring him to push back, or argue, or brush it off.

Remus feels the heart in his chest, and the golden glow of light that tethers the pair of them, and the wet tracks on his own cheek he hadn’t been quite aware of before. He feels all that, and then it rises, unbidden, the memory Sirius’s voice, a warm July afternoon by a cool mill pond.

Maybe you’ve just got to make it real for yourself, then.

His own voice, directly after that, echoing in the shade.

You’ve got to believe. You’ve got to believe it’s for you.

Sirius is still glaring, for all it’s softer now, and Remus swallows the lump in his throat.

“I love you, too.”

It’s not a whisper. Not this time. It’s loud, and bold, and nothing more than a matter of stating fact because it is that.

He loves him. He loves him. He loves Sirius Black, in all his beautiful, maddening recklessness and high ideals. In all his contradictory edges, loud and brash and painfully posh, queer and unashamed, gentle and bold and harsh when he wants to be. He loves him for his relentlessness, the push and pull that woke him back up to the world, that drove the promise that there’s so much more still to life.

He loves him.

That’s all there is to it.

So he says it, hands grasped round his wrists, and watches with a thrill as Sirius’s eyes widen in shock.

“You—”

“Yeah.”

“You love—”

“I do,” Remus says, and pulls his mouth in to meet his.

#discovered in the drafts #wolfstar #remus lupin #sirius black #marginalia blogging #marginalia SPOILERS #(but already up in ch 47)

[daffodilsonaprettystring]

I really wish I knew Marauders people on Tumblr so we could all flip out about the latest update of Crimson Rivers together because I am Not Fine and have nobody to vent to

#crimson rivers #zeppazariel #wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #jegulus #james potter #regulus black #Crimson Rivers Ch 53 #zeppazariel you’ve ruined my weekend are you happy #I need Sirius back plz #and I need Remus to be safe plz #I just want them both happy honestly plz and thank you #I still don’t know how to work tags

[jamesunderwater]

Uncertainty - A Wolfstar Microfic

@wolfstarmicrofic

The feeling of Remus's hand in his was still a shock to him. When they'd first started touching one another again, the unfamiliar calluses had been a difficult adjustment. The once-soft hands of the boy he knew had been replaced by the hands of a man, ones that told a story of a hard and lonely existence.

But it had been years since those first nervous touches. He knew the man that Remus was now, inside and out. What shocked him was the freedom with which they were able to live. In a world post-war, though sideways glances still came for the werewolf and ex-con lovers, they were by and large unbothered. And this meant holding hands. In public. With a realtor.

The apartment they were currently touring was gorgeous, he had to admit. It was their twelfth tour, after nearly all the rest had been a disaster. They’d decided to look at something a bit nicer this time, and Sirius could tell that Remus was already in love. The high ceilings and window seats were enough to sell him, but add in the ornate fireplaces, original stained-glass windows, and study with wall to wall built in shelves, and Sirius could see the logic leaving Remus's mind by the second. They couldn’t really afford this place. But he doubted that would matter much.

"Darling, imagine it!" Remus whispered to him, and Sirius blushed as he always did at the pet name. "There's the extra room for Harry whenever he comes round, and this living room is certainly large enough to host everyone, should we want to." His amber eyes were glittering in a way that drew a smile to Sirius's lips spontaneously.

"It's gorgeous, yeah," Sirius breathed, looking around. "But...I mean," he glanced at the realtor and steered Remus to a corner a little further away. "It's pretty far out of our price range, love. I mean--quite a bit."

He watched Remus's face fall, then switch quickly into calculating mode. Sirius's eyes moved across his partner's expression, wanting to trust whatever mental maneuvering was going on in Remus’s mind. But it was difficult to ignore the nervous twisting of his gut. The idea of stretching this far beyond their limit made him want to squirm; he felt a familiar anxiety creeping up his neck, and involuntarily jerked his head to the side, twitching as if casting off some sort of ghost. Ever since his time on the run as Snuffles, Sirius had struggled with a fear of going without. He’d experienced so many days with little to nothing to eat, months of sleeping in caves or forest clearings—a seemingly endless life of uncertainty. Now, whenever his subconscious thought that something might threaten to throw him back into that place of lack, he found himself overwhelmed with an anxious need to get things back under control.

The longer Remus deliberated, the harder it was for Sirius to keep himself from dragging the other man out of the building. “Remus?” He finally urged, an edge to his voice as he tried to pull the other man out of whatever mind hole he’d fallen into.

Remus’s eyes finally focused on him. He seemed to notice that Sirius’s posture and energy had changed, and two wrinkles appeared between his brow as he looked concernedly down at him. A moment passed between them, after which Remus’s eyes softened. “Ah,” was all he said, taking Sirius’s hand in his again. He laced their fingers, and Sirius felt a bit of the tension leave his body.  

Finally, Remus spoke, the dam of Sirius’s nervous energy breaking at the sound of his voice. “Alright, yes, it’s outside of what we discussed. But, Sirius, I really think we could do it. I mean,” he paused, tugging Sirius into the main bedroom. “Just think of it. The two of us, with a real home. Not a dingy flat or a cottage in disrepair,” He turned to Sirius, grasping his other hand and looking down at him with hopeful, happy eyes. “A real, lovely home, all our own.” The two men, though nearing forty, had known little housing security in their lives. This search had been supposed to be their chance to find something that truly belonged to them, where they could settle down together.

“Darling, I know it’s frightening. I know it isn’t what we discussed. But it isn’t impossible. And…we deserve this, Sirius,” he added, pausing. “You are deserving of good things.”  

Sirius took in a deep breath at these words. He recognized that his fear and certainty that this was not something they could manage was not purely based in truth. They wouldn’t have looked if it were truly impossible. And he did not see Remus lit up this way over many things. He might not have been able to fully accept that he deserved good things, but a firmness settled in place of the anxiety in his stomach: Remus most definitely deserved a home he adored.

Sirius met his partner’s sparkling, waiting eyes, and smiled softly up at him. “Well, I’ve been deserving of one good thing, at least,” he reached up, sliding a hand behind Remus’s neck, and pulled his lips down to meet his own. Breaking apart a moment later, he whispered, “I suppose one more good thing couldn’t hurt.”

#idk why my mind went to domestic bliss on this one #but i'm really in love with the idea of them as just happy adult partners living life and getting what they deserve #wolfstar #my writing #wolfstar microfic #wolfstar fic #wolfstar fanfiction #sirius black #remus lupin #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #the marauders #marauders fanfiction #hp #hp fanfic #marauders fanfic #ch: padfoot #wolfstar microfic* #wolfstar*

[merverse]

hello! i made some book covers for crimson rivers cause i was bored and ended up really liking them so here they are <3 im really proud about the first one tbh 

#saw someone on tiktok making 5 versions bc otherwise the book would be. so long #so the first one goes up to ch 25! #crimson rivers by zeppazariel #crimson rivers book cover #regulus black #james potter #jegulus #sunseeker #starchaser #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #dorcas meadowes #marauders #marauders era #crimson rivers

[rollercoasterwords]

what's your favorite line from the next wfrau chapter? 👀👀

ok posting this then going 2 sleep xx here r 2 of my fave bits from the next ch:

and

#wfrau #slight spoilers i suppose but. both of these scenes r things that have already happened in prior chs #only now!! from the pov of one remus lupin <3 #ask #anyway. i really like both the string symphony and the bad joke lines so i could not choose only one xoxo #goodnight!!

[crispysheepofman]

HOLY SHIT THE KYD UPDATE!!!

Uhhh wolfstar my heart! Its so angsty and soooo good! Gahh i love them

And we got lily this chapter!!!! Lily my beloved <3

#kill your darlings #messermoon #ch 12 #wolfstar #Marily #rosekiller #jegulus #remus lupin #sirius orion black #lily evans #marauders

[kat-xox]

“Personally, I don’t think we’re meant to get past this. I think that maybe… Maybe we’re simply made to endure.”

#yep #remus knows what’s up #fic: your lips my lips #ylml #rough draft: ch. 24 #marauders #marauders era #the marauders #harry potter #fanfiction #remus lupin

[hanasnx]

-ˏ͛ ꒷꒰ wizarding world ⿻ m.list ꒷ˏ͛-

MINORS DNI 18+ ༄

"I can't stand the thought of losing / Sentences and every island of words." — Motion City Soundtrack. (2007). Where I Belong.

彡 ch: fred weasley 「 � 」

── drabbles ┆ ABOUT 1K OR LESS.

smutty ¡! ❞

✩ fell in love without you

彡 ch: remus lupin 「 � 」

── drabbles ┆ ABOUT 1K OR LESS.

other ¡! ❞

✩ eyes on fire

NAVI | M.LIST | RULES | LINKS | ABOUT

#masterlist #indy: series #indy: one shots #indy: drabbles #indy: headcanons #indy: edits #ch: fred #ch: remus #fred weasley smut #fred weasley x reader #remus lupin x reader

[soloorganaas]

You think Remus is good flirt but not Sirius? Can I hear more of your thoughts about this??

rolls up sleeves gets out thesis notes yes you absolutely can!!!

so remus is canonically very charming. he’s funny, he’s easygoing, he makes people feel good. he’s quietly confident and has a latent power about him but his energy is also very safe and comforting (by design!! a manipulative king). and as i said he’s a good performer and he knows how to read people very well. i don’t think he goes around ostentatiously hitting on people, but he’s very good at being naturally flirtatious

sirius on the other hand is not charming at all. at every age we witness him he’s a complete dick. and it’s because he’s never had to be charming, he’s hot and he’s powerful so he doesn’t need to win anyone over. he doesn’t ever try to make people feel good - he’s an asshole to basically everyone he meets. he’s funny for sure but in a really dry sarcastic way, not one that has people giggling and twirling their hair unless they’re deeply deluded about his personality. the only person he’s good at flirting with is remus and that’s because he knows him incredibly well, they have a lot of chemistry, they’re very in love, and at like 16 sirius realises he really wants to fuck him so he learns how to win him over

#sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #the idea that sirius is charming and a good flirt comes entirely from the fact that he’s hot #hot people are generally not charming #people already like them because they’re hot #hotness holds SUCH power #the only people I know who are hot and charming are neurodivergents #who learnt to be charming bc they had to learn to mask #anyway #ch: we choose who we really are #ch: it made all the difference in the world #hp #hp meta

[something-in-the-tide]

All The Young Dudes Ch.128

~James has a realization~

Quick little thing I did inspired by @lineonapostit Probably not exactly what you had in mind but it was fun to make

#it’s not perfect but i did my best #all the young dudes #atyd #atyd ch.128 #mskingbean89 #sirius black #remus lupin #remus lupin x sirius black #remus x sirius #wolfstar #james potter #collage #fanart #marauders fanart #doodles #yes I know James doesn’t have glasses

[tnbiatch]

Are we on the same page people? Are we all living for Jegulus domesticity yet a fucking slut for angst? Or is it just me?

#fic: start of something new #SOSN ch snippet #jegulus #james x regulus #regulus black #james potter #marauders #starchaser #the black brothers #ao3 fanfic #sirius black #remus x sirius #remus lupin #the marauders era

[pancakehouse]

Only Fools Are Satisfied / Chapter 5

a wolfstar tennis au

-

chapter summary: a blow-up, a birthday, a blowjob…oh my! 

The elevator doors ping open and they’re silent as they get in. The air crackles hot and warm, suffocatingly overwrought with tension, years in the making. On Sirius’ end, at least. He hopes, somewhat desperately, that he’s not alone in it. That Remus is aching right along with him. 

He stares resolutely on the floor, at the ceiling, anywhere but at Remus in the corner, bottom lip caught between his teeth. Sirius wants to tug on it, free the red-bitten skin before any permanent damage is done, soothe it with his tongue. But he’s conscious of the ten floors they still need to ride to the top, conscious of the couple and their young child in the lift with them, conscious of the thin, unforgiving material of his shorts and the worn, fraying cord inside him that is just one single glance away from snapping.

read on ao3 

#lol sorry babes for the crass ch summary! only for my beloved tumblr besties who ik won’t judge me for it!! #this one almost killed me. good god are we sure writing is fun?? #anyhoo. onto the relevant tags. #ofas #wolfstar au #my writing #remus lupin #sirius black #sports au #wolfstar fic #marauders #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #wolfstar #remus/sirius #sirius/remus #etc etc blah blah