#<probably need to add that since this is like Entirely surrounding the final few arcs | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shadowed-dancer · 3 years

Text

How the anime enhanced the Touya mystery

Season 5 of MHA just finished adapting the Endeavour Agency Arc. While everyone has their own opinion on how the anime adaptation is doing, I wanted to take a moment to praise something that (I think) they handled really well: The Touya Mystery. Today we’re going to walk through how the anime handled this plot point, and why it worked so well.

Proud to say this post is free of manga spoilers! Today we’re ONLY talking about the anime.

Intro: What is the Touya Mystery?

The Touya mystery is the ongoing mystery of what happened to the third Todoroki son. It is foreshadowed in seasons 2 and 4, but it exists in earnest throughout season 5. It is never explicitly stated, but is instead referenced in passing by the characters, allowing the audience to try and piece everything together until it is eventually confirmed.

Disclaimer

Obviously the manga has this mystery as well, but anime as a medium has certain factors that the manga simply doesn’t have. OPs and EDs are a good example, but there’s also the way hiatuses affect the way we consume the story, as well as how the breakdown of seasons clump certain storylines closer together then they were in the manga (compare 6 months to get through Joint Training in the manga, compared to 2.5 months for the anime).

I am also aware of the theories surrounding Touya’s potential connection to a previously established character. You’ve probably seen the theory at some point, but I won’t name names just incase some of you haven’t. Either way, this post isn’t about that theory.

Finally, I’m very well aware that most viewers may not have picked up on some of the stuff I’m saying. A lot of these points are minor details, and I don’t fault anyone for missing out on that. In fact, I’m sure there are some fans out there who never even realized there was a 4th Todoroki sibling because they just... didn’t care or pay attention. I’m going at this with the mindset of someone who is very, VERY analytical, not your average viewer who’s just here to enjoy the show.

The Set Up: Season 2

We are first introduced to the Todoroki siblings way back in Season 2, Episode 10 (Todoroki’s fight with Deku in the Sports Festival). During Shoto’s flashback, we are given this frame to introduce his siblings...

We have the white-haired brother, the red-haired brother, and the sister. In this scene, the red-haired brother fumbles his soccer move and ends up falling, causing his siblings to laugh. This added movement (which was never in the manga) causes the red-haired brother to stand out slightly more than his siblings.

Now, granted, I’ve seen quite a few people who didn’t realize these were Shoto’s siblings at first. They just thought he was watching his neighbours. That’s why, if their hair colours weren’t enough to clue you in on their relationship to Shoto, we meet the sister a few episodes later (Season 2, Episode 12).

She refers to Endeavour as “dad” which informs the audience that she is also Endeavour’s child, and is therefore Shoto’s sister. It then stands to reason that the two boys she was playing with (both of whom share their hair colour with her and Shoto) would be her brothers.

The Set Up: Shout Baby

Season 4, Episode 15 gives us a new ending sequence, Shout Baby, in which we see this...

Todoroki Family photos. On the left is a photo of Shoto on his first day of school (I double checked and the sign behind him indicates some sort of entrance ceremony). On the right, we are given a photo of the sister and white-haired brother as adults.

(Despite it not being explicit, you can tell that’s the white haired brother based on context clues. He looks so similar to the kid in the flashback that it doesn’t make sense for him to be anyone else. This is of course confirmed later in the season).

However, the red-haired brother is missing, which now launches the mystery of why. Why is he not in any of the photos? And then, as the frame pans down, we get this...

A torn, burnt corner of a photograph. For a while, I had some trouble making out what that blue stuff was in the corner, but a comment on Youtube helped point out that it is the exact same Sakura tree as the one in Shoto’s photo. You can even see the branch in the same spot.

So what does this tell us? Well, it’s the same place Shoto went to school, but the photo is burnt. Is it just a burned up copy of the same photo to symbolize how Endeavour ruined Shoto’s childhood? Or is it a photo of one of the other kids attending the same school, burned for mysterious reasons?

The actual answer is that it’s an Easter egg for manga readers who already know about the red haired brother but shhhhh we’re only talking about the anime right now.

The point is, we now have intrigue.

The Set Up: Season 4

Season 4, Episode 25 gives us our first full look at the Todoroki Family, with the siblings (sans Shoto) on a visit to their mom.

We get confirmation that the man in the photo from the ED is the white haired brother, and we learn their names as well, with the sister being named Fuyumi and the white-haired brother being named Natsuo! But, just like the ending sequence, the red-haired brother is missing.

His absence is never brought up, but this is only highlighted by the fact that Fuyumi teases Natsuo for not calling often ever since going away for college. His response ISN’T “aw come on, why do you only pick on me?” or “hey, at least I’m here! Unlike [red-haired brother]”. Instead he says, “aww come on, sis, I call you guys!”

No one calls attention to the fact that one of the siblings is missing. The red-haired brother is never even mentioned, which tell us as the audience that the characters know something we don't. Whatever reason they aren’t mentioning the 3rd brother is common knowledge amongst them, so there’s no need to bring him up.

But the anime ensures we remember that, yes, there IS in fact another brother. They replay the soccer flashback as Natsuo and Fuyumi watch Endeavour’s fight from their laptop, but we are also given this...

... Our second look at the red haired brother (played when Endeavour reminisces about his family). From this, we notice that the brother is significantly shorter than his siblings. It’s also worth noting that his bangs are in front of his face, meaning we never get a clear idea of his appearance (I’ll bring this up again later).

This episode also serves as the season finale, meaning fans were treated to an entire year of hiatus to theorize on the red-haired brother.

The Mystery Starts: His Name

Season 5, Episode 2 begins the mystery-of-the-missing-brother in earnest by providing us with this quote...

“Mom’s screams, Shoto’s crying, and what happened to our big brother, Touya”

Not only is this quote the first time the red-haired brother is being directly spoken about, but it also provides us with 3 pieces of information.

FIRST: His name is Touya. We now have something to call him besides “the red-haired brother”.

SECOND: He’s Natsuo’s big brother. At this point in the series, the age order for Natsuo and Fuyumi had not been confirmed in the anime, but we now knew Natsuo is either the second oldest child, or third oldest.

Touya being Natsuo’s “big brother” means Touya is either the oldest child, or the second oldest. But the fact that Natsuo says “our big brother” does seem to indicate Touya is the big brother to all of them.

This seems to be contradictory to the fact that Touya is just so small compared to his siblings in the 2nd flashback, but it’s certainly not impossible for younger siblings to outgrow the oldest.

(Yes I know technically their age order is revealed in episode 17 but I’m trying to walk through the experience live)

THIRD: We learn something happened to Touya. We don’t know what, but it’s implied to be bad. At the very least, it implies that whatever happened led to Touya no longer seeing his family.

The Mystery Continues: Quirk Singularity

In Season 5, Episode 3, the anime adds a fun visual while Deku explains the Quirk Singularity Doomsday Theory (the theory that, as quirks combine through generations, kids will end up with stronger and stronger quirks with bodies that cannot control them).

In the manga, this is just Deku talking to All Might, but the anime adds the same flashbacks Endeavour had during his Nomu fight for some visual intrigue. Not only does this flashback remind us that the Todoroki siblings exist, but it implies that they are somehow connected to the Quirk Singularity Theory (Shoto is shown as an example of how quirks combine to create stronger quirks, but perhaps we’ll learn some more about Touya to connect him to the theory as well).

The Mystery Continues: Touya’s Quirk

Season 5, Episode 7 gives us another flashback to Shoto’s childhood. Here, Endeavour comments on some very interesting details of Touya’s quirk...

“Touya was close. He had more firepower than me, but he had Rei’s weak constitution. He... was close”

It’s also worth noting that the English Dub of this scene has Endeavour end this line with, “He was close, until...”

So what does this teach us?

FIRST: The English Dub implies he was doing well UNTIL something happened. Was it the incident that Natsuo was referring to? Either way, it has once again created intrigue.

SECOND: Touya had a fire quirk, and it was even stronger than Endeavour’s (hey, look at that, kind of like quirk singularity, right? How the next generation gets stronger than their parents?).

Viewers may have been able to theorize that Touya had a fire quirk based purely on his hair colour (think of how Shoto’s hair represents which side produces which quirk) but this line gives us solid confirmation on his quirk.

THIRD: Touya “had Rei’s weak constitution”. Now, it’s debatable on what exactly a “weak constitution” means. Is this referring to his resolve? Was he too passive? Or is this referring to something else? (Perhaps Rei’s physical constitution?)

Well, wouldn’t you know it, but all the way back in Season 5, Episode 2 (the same one where we learn Touya’s name, go figure) we hear this exact phrase used in reference to the original OFA user... but ONLY in the English Dub.

Here’s what AFO says in the sub...

“My brother is frail”

...vs the dub

“My little brother has a weak constitution”

This gives us a direct reference point that a “weak constitution” in this series can be another way of saying someone is frail (and even if you don’t want to cross reference the dub and sub, OFA is portrayed as weak no matter what). This seems to tie in well with the fact that Touya was so much smaller and appeared weaker than his supposed younger siblings.

The Through Line: Arc Rearrangement

If you didn’t know, I’m here to tell you that the anime pulled a little sneaky on us manga readers by rearranging the arcs.

The manga originally went from Joint Training to (the upcoming arc) to Endeavour Agency, and while the anime has kept these events in the same chronological order, it changed the way they were presented to us. Endeavour Agency has been put first, which means we get more Touya information a heck of a lot closer to the rest of his reveals, compared to the manga.

Regardless of how you personally feel about the arc rearrangement, it works wonders for Touya’s mystery. Endeavour is sprinkled throughout many episodes of the Joint Training Arc in the anime, so it feels rather natural to go straight to the Agency Arc because Endeavour is acting as our narrative through line. He’s been a reoccurring presence, so it doesn’t feel as if he’s coming out of nowhere.

The Reward: The Photo

If you’ve been paying attention to the clues the series has left regarding the missing Todoroki child, you are rewarded in Season 5, Episode 17.

The episode is rather... flashback heavy, but it does a good job reminding us of all the Todoroki drama before we head to the dinner. And at the end of the episode (literally the last thing we see before the ED), observant viewers who have been keeping track of Touya are rewarded when we finally get to see...

... Touya’s face. The first instance where it’s unobstructed. There he is. The missing Todoroki son. He’s so cute!

(Also yes yes I know his hair is now white and I’m sure that was very confusing for anime onlies. However, I promise it is the same kid.)

But, perhaps more importantly, we learn the implication that Touya is dead. His photo is on a shrine where Endeavour is praying, and the shrine seems to be set up in a child’s room that has remain unchanged (small shoes, a soccer ball, and toys on the bookshelf, all of which seem to be too young for any of the living Todoroki siblings). Suddenly it becomes all too clear why the family didn’t bring him up that often, and why Natsuo was so upset about “what happened to our big brother, Touya”.

The Tease: What Comes Next?

Season 5, Episode 18 leaves us with a teaser for the future of Keeping Up With The Todoroki's.

Touya’s death is confirmed, and we even learn a bit more on the circumstances surrounding it, as we learn Endeavour feels responsible for whatever happened. We also learned that Natsuo blames Endeavour, hinting that he certainly played some part in it.

However, all of these hints lead to a story for another time (more likely Season 6, to be precise). I won’t spoil what exactly happens, but I can confirm that we eventually see Touya’s death and the events leading up to it through flashback, and I’m honestly so excited.

Perhaps I’ll make a part 2 to this post when the anime gets to that point.

Hope you enjoyed!

#bnha #bnha season 5 #todofam #toya todoroki #touya todoroki #enji todoroki #shoto todoroki #natsuo todoroki #fuyumi todoroki #bnha meta #bnha season five #mha season 5 #mha season five #bnha analysis #if you liked this please reblog I've been working on this for forever #just had to wait for today's episode to finish it off

144 notes · View notes

kittydemon9000 · 3 years

Text

Alright so I know Literally Nobody asked for this but the idea of leaguers having differnt armor types, speeds, and strengths is so fascinating to me so here’s an entire post about my headcanons about it, staring the Main 7 since they’re the ones we see most and have the most evidence for.

Also, please keep in mind that this is completely made based on memory alone and it’s been a bit since I last saw the show. If I missed something or remembered something wrong feel free to correct me or add your own thoughts.

Also also, I made a chart (the chart is based on the strongest for the leaguer, not out of all of them, ex: Top Joy’s strongest is different from GZ’s strongest)

First off, the leader of Silver Castle himself, Magnum Ace, a Baseball Leaguer. Right off the bat(hah puns) I immediately knew his arms would be the strongest points. He seems to have been created with him being a pitcher in mind and his 44 Sonic has clearly been shown to posses a lot of power which he would need the strength to handle. There’s also how he was shown to be a decent hitter in Gold Arm’s flashback, sending every ball into the outfield. As for his weakest points, they were also pretty easy. The joints are a bit of a constant with all of the leaguers I showed, but the fins are because they seem to be rather thin and probably can’t hold up very well under pressure. There’s also the shoulder joints, which I wasn’t able to put on the diagram, since as shown during the end of the series, if Magnum repeatedly pitches his 44 Sonic without rest the stress on his shoulders start to cause them to break down, to the point where he was forced to sit out for the next few days for repairs. Speed wise Magnum is nothing special and in my eyes pretty average amongst the team.

Next up, we have Mach Windy, a Soccer Leaguer. Similar to Magnum, I knew almost immediately his strongest point would be his legs since, y’know, soccer. Everything(physical) we see coming from Windy is almost always centered around his leg strength and speed. This is outright said when Silver Castle is resting after some baseball training and Magnum tells Windy(I shit you not) “We believe in your leg.” There’s also his Mach Spin which depends entirely on his ability to kick to ball at an extremely high speed. There’s also a scene when trying to help Gold Foot during the Forced Retirement Arc where his kicks a ball of solid rock without any issues. The scene also brings me to why his head is a strong point. Heading is also something Windy has been shown to be able to do, and referencing the Forced Retirement Arc again where he head butts the aforementioned ball of rock. For speed, as mentioned before, when it comes to running Windy seems to be the fastest amongst Silver Castle. The weakness I feel is pretty self explanatory since soccer doesn’t really require use of your arms unless you’re a goalie. There’s also how in the Jet Setter episode Bull sees Windy loose an arm wrestle almost immediatly with Ryuuken, but that might just be since Ryuuken is ridiculously powerful. As for durability, he seems to be not very strong, instead having lighter armor for more speed.

Speaking of Ryuuken, let’s talk about the Karate Leaguer. As you can see, his strongest part is his armor, aka almost all of him. As a karate leaguer, Ryuuken was probably created with the intent of being able to take a lot of hits. There’s also the running joke of a member of another team attacking him with all their power and him not budging and saying something along the lines of “I feel nothing.” Strength wise, we get a taste of his crazy power is during his first spotlight episode where he was practicing kicking with Windy, to which he accidentally broke the stone wall surrounding the field. He then unlocks more of his power when rescuing Ruri from the factory, but we don’t see his real power until the Forced Retirment arc. There we got to see when going to rescue Magnum, Windy, and the Gold Bros how he opened a literal chasm into the ground with a single punch, though I can’t remember if it was rock, metal, or both, but that’s still pretty impressive, and that was before he unlocked his Heart Kit in the Death Football Arc which only increased his power. And then during the OVA when the Fighter Brothers try to fight Windy’s new team and they use their pitch, a pitch that nobody had been able to hit before, Ryuuken straight up punches it with seemingly no backlash and getting a home run all because they made him mad.….maybe it’s a good thing Ryuuken is so innocent and calm. Speed wise, Ryuuken seems to be on the slower side of the team, however I do think Ryuuken(alongside Juurouta) would have the best reflexes. This one is completely headcanon and I don’t have much proof, it just makes sense to me.

Next up, we have Bull Armor, a Football Leaguer. His armor and helmet are easily his strongest parts, for mostly obvious reasons. Multiple times throughout the series he is seen tanking blows that would normally knock another leaguer to the ground, most notably when he’s Silver Castle’s goalkeeper in soccer and catcher in baseball. However, his durability seems to be different from Ryuuken’s since he is still moved by the attacks but can bounce back from more. His durability seems to be pretty tied to his strength too since he is one of the only leaguers who has been shown to catch Magnum’s 44 Sonic. There’s also how when he was first introduced he stopped and lifted a truck much larger than himself with relative ease in order to stop it from hitting a young boy. His speed however is admittedly a bit harder to figure out. He seems to be much larger and heavier, however as shown when he lost control in his past he still has the ability to charge down opponents at a speed in which they can’t properly evade, though it’s up for debate whether they were trying to properly evade or trying to reason with him.

Juurouta, a Kendo Leaguer, is next. His durability is more basic compared to the others, mostly focusing around his Armor Armor(no that was not a typo). Said Armor Armor also seems to be protecting the joints which may or may not be intentional, but I’m going with it. His fins share the same logic with Magnum, as do his joints with everyone else. His strength mostly seems to be localized in his arms, which makes sense since he is a kendo leaguer. His strength was first shown in comparison to the others when he was the first person to hit Gold Arm’s Genocide Screw with a hit(discounting Bull since he technically kicked it). There’s also how in the Arctic he was able to cut down the blizzard machine, however that spent all his energy. Speed wise I think he’s in a similar i boat to Ryuuken: slow overall, but incredible reflexes.

Now, Top Joy, a Basketball Leaguer, was a fun one to do for no reason more than I like the character. Strength wise, nothing very impressive, he show much. Durability though….it’s not the best. The only points that seemed to be able to hold up were his arms(sort of) and feet, and they’re less based on actual proof and more on logical thinking but I digress. Hand and arms because he’ll need to be able to catch balls thrown his way, but they’re still relatively weak compared to other members of Silver Castle. I highlighted his feet because they would probably be needed to make they don’t break once Top Joy lands after jumping high. If they were weak the repeated slamming into the ground would cause them to break and then Top Joy(and any other basketball leaguer) would be relatively stuck. But where I think Top Joy shines is his speed and maneuverability. As he has demonstrated many times throughout baseball and soccer games alike, his spring legs can be used in a variety of situations, from avoiding attacking players to catching balls that would normally be too far out of reach. And there’s also the possibility of using the force from the spring to propel himself faster when running, thought it’s unclear if he does this already. However, they are not without weakness. As shown in the episode with Gebara, they are easily damaged when seemingly a single coil is damaged and prevents him from walking without assistance from his teammates. There’s also his recording equipment and speakers which, while functional, seem like they would also be damaged rather easily since as someone who has worked with recording/video equipment, I am all too aware of how fragile it can be. Also another note, Top Joy also seems to have an incredibly high pain tolerance. When the members of Section X give him a warning shock with the shock circuit, he pleads with them and says how he “doesn’t like punishment,” implying this has happened before. There’s also his questionable relationship with his past team and much later in the Death Football Arc when he flat out says “I’m used to pain,” which in concerning to say the least.

And finally, last but most certainly not least, we have GZ, a Hockey Leaguer. Similar to Ryuuken, GZ has been shown to be incredibly powerful and being able to take a lot. There are three times where his power is shown. First is barely a day after he joins their team when he defends his teammates from attacks that would normally knock them off their feet(sans Ryuuken). The second time is when he’s babysitting the kids and survives an avalanche that took out another group of hockey(?) leaguers with barely a scratch. And then in the OVA where he’s able to deflect almost all of Garret’s dive bomb attacks without took much trouble. This is undoubtedly a combination of some hockey leaguers being incredibly defensive(like Thunderbolt) and his reformatting which led him to be a mercenary. We don’t seem too much from GZ in terms of strength, so I’m going to say he’s just a little weaker than Magnum. Speed though, that one was a bit hard to figure out. Main because of his boosters. His boosters give him an enormous speed boost, fast enough to get ahead of Garret who was literally flying and dive bombing, and on the ice without as much friction it only increases his speed. However, the few times we see him running, he seems to be slower than the other Silver Castle members, likely because of his weight and how he was meant for ice, not land.

TL:DR, From most to least

Durability: GZ, Ryuuken, Bull Armor, Juurouta, Magnum, Windy, Top Joy

Strength: Ryuuken, Bull Armor, Juurouta, Magnum, GZ, Top Joy, Windy

Speed: GZ(with boosters/on ice), Windy, Top Joy, Magnum, Bull Armor, Ryuuken, Juurouta, GZ(running), but Juurouta and Ryuuken have the best reflexes

#Shippu! Iron Leaguer #iron leaguer #magnum ace #mach windy #windy #ryuuken #Kiai Ryuuken #bull armor #juurouta #Kiwami Juurouta #topjoy #Top Joy #gz #info dump

78 notes · View notes

longing-and-heartache-and-lust · 3 years

Text

the drug, the dark, the light, the flame, Ch.II

[previous] [next] [Ao3]

A second chapter for my work for this year’s @geraskierbigbang with the wonderful @gen-syz-art as my artist ✨

_________________

When Geralt wakes up in the morning, the sun is already high in the sky.

The bed is wide and comfortable, probably the most comfortable out of all the ones he'd ever slept in. The soft furs are a pleasant warmth against his bare skin and when he opens his eyes, he feels the most rested he'd been in a very long time.

It's long past breakfast and he feels a stab of guilt somewhere in his gut, seeing that he'd promised Julian he was going to join him but as it turned out, he was much more tired than he thought. The long weeks on the Path, the hunt the day before and the wounds on his shoulder have all worn him out, and it's only now that his body had finally caught on.

Geralt stretches with a soft moan, careful not to disturb his shoulder, and turns to his other side, looking around the room with heavy-lidded eyes.

In the warm light of the summer sun, it doesn't feel strange anymore.

The golds and reds of the interior make the room feel comfortable, even though it's a little too much for Geralt's taste. The room feels luxurious and Geralt can't even phantom the cost of the heavy velvet curtains or the paintings in golden frames but yet, it doesn't feel like too much .

It doesn't feel like a bedroom in a castle, where its only real purpose is showing the guests just how rich the host is. It feels like a bedroom of a home that someone loves and decorates accordingly. It just so happened that said home is an enormous mansion.

Geralt counts twelve pillows and cushions on the bed, all of them a deep ruby colour and varying in sizes, and, against his own better judgement, burrows himself deeper into them, his entire body melting into the soft silk sheets.

It's the exact opposite of what he should do, he knows it. He knows that this is not meant for him, that he's not supposed to pass the time in beds like this, burrowed in what probably are the best furs in the entire region, but somewhere deep in his bones, his body still aches with exhaustion and stress, and if he can have this, just once in his life, he's going to take it.

He just doesn't have it in him to deny himself this opportunity.

And Roach, he tells himself, needs a little more rest, too.

The forest behind the giant arc-shaped windows is tranquil, the wind a soft, calming whisper through the treetops, and Geralt doesn't even notice when he falls asleep again, warm and comfortable.

***

The second time he wakes, the sun is at its zenith, so it must be around midday.

Cursing under his breath, Geralt makes himself sit up on the bed and then get out of it completely, though very reluctantly. He'd never really had problems with getting out of bed, even when he was still an adept in Kaer Morhen and had to get up before sunrise every morning, and now this unfamiliar gravity feels strange but not unpleasant.

As he dresses, there is a knock on the door, and when he opens it, there is a tall man waiting in the hallway. Geralt can tell that he is in his fifties but the formal suit and perfect posture make him look younger.

"Master Witcher," he greets. "I hope I have not disturbed you. Master Julian asked me to take you into the dining room once you have woken up."

The majordomo, Geralt thinks.

He nods, saying that he needs a few minutes, and goes back to his armour, tightening all the straps and clasping the buckles, once again feeling a little twist of guilt for not having joined Julian in the morning, as he'd promised. It was plain rude of him, really, and though there weren't a lot of things that Geralt hated more than apologising, he knew he'd going to have to.

After all, there was only so much he could do.

He fixes the swords behind his back and looks around the room just one more time before stepping out of it and closing the door. It's almost upsetting that he'd only got to spend one night in a bed like that.

The majordomo takes him through the corridors and with the warm light streaming through the windows, they don't look ominous anymore, though the witcher still finds them absolutely endless. There are paintings, sculptures and potted plants along the walls, and though Geralt tries not to, he still finds himself looking around a little more than he should.

When they do finally reach the dining room with a big oil painting hung on one of the walls right across from the table, Julian isn't there.

"He must be outside," the butler says, turning around. "If you would follow me, master Witcher."

When the man walks past him, Geralt can feel his medallion hum against his chest but it stops just as abruptly, so he frowns but doesn't pay it much mind.

They take one of what Geralt assumes are many doors to the garden and it's only now that he realises how big it is. What he'd seen last night was but a fraction.

The trees and neatly shaped bushes surround the mansion from all sides, keeping it separated from the forest behind the gates, and it almost feels like a world of its own, independent from the one outside.

Geralt's senses immediately fill with the scent of blooming flowers and ripe fruit, the sound of bird songs and running water somewhere in the distance. A fountain, he decides.

And then, among those sounds, there's Julian's voice.

"Geralt," he smiles, appearing from somewhere behind the corner, a hand over his eyes to protect them from the sun. "I see you've already met Arthur."

"I have," the witcher nods, realising belatedly that he should've asked the majordomo's name himself.

Fuck, he thinks, I am not made for this kind of life.

"I hope you can forgive me for not having joined you for breakfast," he adds and he feels ridiculous , talking this way, but in a place like this, he can't help but feel like he's at court. "As it turns out, fighting off monsters is easier than the gravity of a bed like that."

Julian's smile shines brighter and he laughs, narrowing his eyes at the sun.

"Don't worry about it," he says. "I'm glad you've had some proper rest. But I’m afraid I cannot let you go with an empty stomach.”

It’s already past midday and Geralt knows that he should get going if he wants to get to the town he came from with no rush, get his coin and leave for the next one but he also knows that he can’t refuse.

“Come,” Julian says, brushing his hand over Geralt's arm and beckoning him deeper into the garden towards an arbour. “I’ll ask the stableman to get your horse ready while we eat.”

***

Without really realising, Geralt stays for a couple more hours.

Julian asks him about what’s led him to these regions - aside from the contract - and Geralt just… talks.

It’s easy, somehow - talking to him.

It almost feels natural and in the warm light of the day, Geralt doesn’t feel overwhelmed anymore.

He tells Julian about how he was headed to Oxenfurt when he’d heard about the contract that had led him here and then hums in agreement when, after a moment or two, Julian asks if he’s from the School of the Wolf.

“You seem to know the Schools much better than the majority of people I come across on the Path,” Geralt says, very dimly aware of how much time had passed.

Julian just shrugs with one shoulder, a smile on his lips, and gestures towards the library windows with a move of his wrist.

“I’ve read quite a lot about witchers, ever since the Academy,” he explains. “I’ve been friends with a medical student and one of her professors was rather… passionate about mutagens and the Trials. He would tell his students his thoughts on the matter every now and then, and she would then tell them to me, because we used to tell each other everything. I got interested and, before I really knew it, I’ve read everything the library could provide on the subject.”

An academic interest, Geralt thinks, watching the way Julian’s cornflower-blue eyes flick to the medallion on his chest and then back to one of the rose bushes that he’d been using as a distraction point during the entire conversation. When his gaze would linger for a little too long and he would notice, it would immediately snap to the rosebush.

It was almost… pleasant, the way he looked at Geralt with a glint in his eyes.

“And, well,” Julian goes on after a moment, meeting Geralt’s eyes again with an easy, relaxed smile. “My previous witcher guest was rather talkative. He stayed here for a couple of days and, once he learned about my interest, proposed that as a gratitude for my hospitality, he shall answer any questions that I might have about witchers. I took on the opportunity and, somehow, we stayed up until the early hours of the morning, just talking, every day that he was here.”

Geralt chuckles, reluctantly admitting to himself that maybe, if he was to stay for another day or two, they could also stay up and talk well into the night.

But, of course, that is not an option. Roach is well-rested, and his shoulder is bandaged, there are no more reasons for him to stay. After all, he was an uninvited guest, to begin with.

But even so, he almost feels sorry that he has to leave, because Julian just… talks to him.

Like they’re equals, like Geralt isn’t a result of Trials and mutations - a monster hunter, yes - but also a killer. He doubts that there is anyone in the North that has not heard of The Butcher of Blaviken, the white-haired witcher that had caused carnage in the middle of the town.

But Julian doesn’t smell of fear, doesn’t smell of hatred. He talks to him not like Blaviken had never happened, he talks to him like he knows why it happened. Like he knows he had to choose between two wrong options and not choosing at all was more than he could bear.

Don’t get lost in your illusions, Geralt has to tell himself quickly, cutting his train of thought short, He’s just abiding by the rules of hospitality, he doesn't even know about Blaviken.

“What did you say his name was?” he asks, just to drown out his own voice in his head. “Aiden?”

Julian hums an affirmative and it almost feels like that name is familiar to Geralt, but he can’t remember, how. Must’ve heard it somewhere, he decides.

“I’ve seen him a couple more times after that, actually,” Julian says. “Whenever he’s nearby, he comes to visit.”

When Geralt bites his tongue, it’s too late and the question had already been spoken:

“Just a friend?”

Fuck, he thinks, immediately.

Julian’s eyes snap to meet his, slightly widened with surprise and Geralt half-expects anger but the younger man just laughs, open and sweet, like a birdsong.

“Yes, for better or for worse,” he says. “There is another that owns his heart. Or, at least, so I’m told.”

Geralt has no idea on what he’s supposed to say to that so, instead, he chooses to stand up promptly.

“Well,” he says, controlling his voice carefully. “I’m afraid, I must leave now. The alderman must be expecting me.”

Julian stands up, as well, and, thankfully, doesn’t comment on the much more obvious reason for the witcher’s sudden desire to leave. And if he does take Geralt up and down once before stepping out of the arbour and leading his back towards the stables, Geralt admits that he deserves it.

***

“I hope the alderman pays you what he’d promised,” Julian says when they reach the gates, Geralt leading Roach by the reins.

He’s usually good at reading people’s emotions - either by smell or by the look in their eyes - but the shadow that slithers across the blue of Julian’s eyes when he looks at the forest beyond the gates is not something he can identify. His scent changes, too, an undertone of something that Geralt can’t describe in any way other than longing mixing into Julian’s own smell - something warm and almost familiar, like vanilla and dried herbs.

This time Geralt stops himself in time and doesn’t ask.

“Thank you,” he says instead, pulling himself up into the saddle. “For everything. Last night would’ve been a hard one if it wasn’t for you.”

Julian smiles at him, running his hand up and down Roach’s neck which, strangely, she seems to enjoy.

“My pleasure,” he replies and when he takes his hand away, Geralt has to tell himself that the way the tips of his fingers brush over his knee is accidental.

Julian opens the gates and steps aside to let Geralt and Roach through, Lucio and Asra at his side like they have always been there, even though the witcher is sure that they were absent back in the arbour.

“Travel safe,” Julian says when Geralt turns around to look at him and the mansion one last time.

It’s strange, hearing it from anyone other than his brothers or Vesemir, and though he replies with only a carefully guarded nod, it turns something over deep inside his chest.

#the witcher #geraskier #geraskier big bang #geralt of rivia #geralt x jaskier #geralt/jaskier #the drug the dark the light the flame #my writing #calton writes

17 notes · View notes

the-final-sif · 4 years

Text

Actually, now that I’ve talked about my headcanon that Katsuki was kidnapped several times as a child, let me talk about a complete random scene/story arc inspired by that and the fact that Katsuki + Izuku + Shouto are all interning with Endeavor now.

Overhaul breaks out of jail and gets his arms back somehow. He’s gone quite a bit nuts. A lot nuts. He’s surpassed ‘focused villain trying to do one thing that he sees as right’ to more of a ‘just want to watch the world burn’. To that end, he sets about getting a team together to catch a certain group of meddling heroes, and to rekidnap a certain child.

A second hideout raid of sorts is planned and goes down, only this time, it was a trap. Izuku/Shouto/Endeavor/Hawks/Kirishima/Tamaki/Fatgum/Tsuyu/Ryuko/Ochako were on the raid team and were caught. Aizawa who was watching over Eri while she had a playdate with Tsuyu’s younger sister, Satsuki, are all also captured. Overhaul had a very specific team set up, knew about them in advance and planned out counters for each person. Alongside that, he used his quirk to create a giant beast like robot that’s made of metal able to withstand even Deku’s punches and Shouto/Endeavor’s flames. Said robot is roughly modeled/made to take on the LOV’s nomu, but non-organic. Notably, Katsuki wasn’t on the hideout raid team (or aware of the raid), because he had a Obligatory Family Trip planned on the same day and so wasn’t at the internship then.

Izuku had managed to put in a distress call before he was taken down, but all the heroes + victims were moved to a different location afterwards in an old long abandoned hideout in the middle of the woods, and there’s about no chance of anyone tracking them down any time soon.

So that leads us into the main scene. The heroes are all captured/restrained up near Overhaul whose ranting on about using Eri to destroy the world/destroy quirks once and for all and then rule over it with a robotic army which is the only thing he considers “clean” anymore. Meanwhile, Eri and Satsuki are down in a different location in a cell of their own (to prevent the heroes from comforting the children), and there’s a camera system in place so the heroes can see the helpless children.

Overhaul demands Eri be brought to whatever Evil Machine he’s devised, and one of his goons goes to get her, but Satsuki fights back against the goon and actually does a pretty damn good job of it. Which leads to Overhaul demanding that the goon kill her.

There’s nothing any of the heroes can do. Satsuki fights back as best she can, as does Eri, but they’re both only 6 years old and Eri’s quirk isn’t working. They struggle, but it’s looking hopeless, and Aizawa tries to tell Tsuyu to close her eyes because he knows what’s about to happen next.

And then the entire dungeon the two girls are in shatters.

Everything is chaos for the next minute as Overhaul tries to figure out what the hell just happened, getting his cameras back in order until finally he gets a visual and contact with one of his goons just before they get taken down and it’s Katsuki.

He’s in a flannel, regular pants and his combat gloves, very clearly confused/pissed off/not prepared for whatever the hell is going on here, and it takes them awhile to figure out what’s going on.

As it turns out, Katsuki has been hiking a trail near this hideout since he was 4 years old. His family drags him up to a nearby location to visit some extended family, he has 0 interest in doing that, so he goes and hikes/camps along a trial instead. Every year he hikes this fairly long trail, and every year he sees this weird abandoned building that he’s gone to explore a few times, and every year the first thought in his mind is ‘Man, that place looks exactly like a villain hideout’.

Then this year, he comes up on it, minding his own business with his headphones in, and he sees the building active again with people with weird masks running around in it, and he’s got a super bad feeling in his gut that just slams into him and he goes ‘Alright, fuck it.’

So now Katsuki is here, he grabs the kids and gets them to a semi-safe location, getting info from them and trying to understand what’s going on. Once he gets it, this turns into a game of him keeping the kids safe from Overhaul, taking down his goons as he goes and working his way towards where the other heroes are. Only, we’re going with the aforementioned headcanon that Katsuki has been kidnapped a bunch of times as a child and never realized that wasn’t normal. This leads to the heroes watching him on the cameras with an increasingly pissed off Overhaul as he walks the two children through how deal with being kidnapped as if these are normal everyday life skills.

Overhaul really, really wants him dead, but unfortunately his team was handpicked to counter the heroes who he’s already captured, and he wasn’t counting on Katsuki showing up. Katsuki’s quirk is flexible and very destructive + Katsuki’s combat skills means he’s pretty much a worst case scenario for Overhaul. Even worse, Katsuki successfully took down the com lines so there’s no communication through the scattered goons, and Katsuki played in this abandoned hideout as a child so he knows his way around it.

Ideal things happening during all of this:

Aizawa torn between being overjoyed that Katsuki saved Eri and then horrified/so done with this child as he walks Eri and Satsuki through how to use knives and grenades.

Katsuki being confused that neither Eri nor Satsuki know how to use a knife.

“Okay, did I have a weird childhood or did you two have a weird childhood. I can’t tell.”

Katsuki gives both children knives, and gives Eri a second knife when she loses her first one (and by loses I mean it ends up embedded in a bad guy’s shoulder)

Izuku keeps pulling notebooks and pencils out of seemingly thin air since Katsuki is openly discussing his quirk/aspects of it with the kids as they make their way through the base and by god he needs to write it down. Overhaul keeps taking his notebooks/pencils but the moment he looks away Izuku somehow has another set.

Katsuki keeps mentioning offhandly things from his childhood and the more things he mentions the more all the other heroes are like “????????”

Finally, Overhaul realizes there’s no chance of his guys taking down Katsuki as Katsuki finishes off the last or second to last one, and so he unleashes The Robot.

By this point, Katsuki already called for backup, but it’s at least half and hour out. He sees the robot and he’s like “Ah fuck.”. Eri and Satsuki already told him a little bit about it and particularly that it’s built to withstand anything short of a nuclear weapon. Not to mention it’s decently fast/agile.

And then when Eri is hurriedly relaying all this to Katsuki, she mentions that Overhaul built it himself.

Katsuki: “Wait like, he actually designed and built it. Overhaul’s the guy with the weird purity/evolution obsession right? He made this? Not somebody smarter?”

She confirms and Katsuki is suddenly No Longer Worried: “Okay, you two chill here, I got this.”

So then he goes to fight the weird beast robot, and nobody’s really sure what he’s planning. As he starts fighting it, he seems to be blasting it’s head into stuff a lot/slamming it around, but that’s not doing any actual damage, right?

Wrong.

See, Overhaul’s somewhat of a moron who put all of the robot’s processing/”brain” into the head area, because that’s how things are supposed to be in his mind. Katsuki figured the guy would probably pull something like this, and so he gives the robot a bunch of repeated strikes to the head area/knocking it around. Because even if the outside is super tough, that kinetic energy still travels through and can do damage to delicate circuit boards.

In layman’s terms, he gives the robot a series of minor concussions until it adds up.

The robot starts to malfunction, going somewhat rouge/pausing/getting stuck places/etc. But it’s still not destroyed and the heroes aren’t sure what Katsuki’s planning next. Katsuki is quite sure of what he’s planning next though. He lures the robot outside and then traps it in place with some large rocks or some rope or something. It’s not going to hold it for very long, but it’s enough to keep the weakened robot in place.

Then he takes aim with one arm as if he was doing an AP shot.

Everyone (heroes and Overhaul included) are kinda like ‘okay what the heck’ because even Katsuki’s strong blasts aren’t enough to really damage the robot’s exterior. Why would trapping it change that?

Then blue starts to spread up Katsuki’s arm along his veins, his hand starts to crackle and there’s 1-2 seconds of “wait WHAT” before Katsuki unleashes a blast on par with that of a small nuclear weapon. The explosion is bright blue, narrowed down to a fine point like Katsuki’s regular AP spot, but once it hits it’s target, it explodes outwards disintegrating the robot and taking out a good chunk of the surrounding land. The whole hideout is shaken to it’s foundation. Windows shatter, some cameras crack, and when the dust clears, Katsuki’s standing tall.

His left arm is still covered by that spiderweb blue though, and it’s hanging limply at his side.

Okay, so this is 90% me making up science but shhhh

So as the heroes quickly learn as an exhausted/barely on his feet Katsuki stumbles back to the kids who of course have questions, this is apparently something Katsuki has been able to do since he was 6.

He calls it “Blue Core”, and it makes his explosions super powerful by pulling nitrogen from the rest of his arm/blood stream/flesh and stocking it all up.

However, he basically never uses it because it comes at a really high cost, namely it takes several seconds of charging, does a ton of collateral damage, and by using it it takes whichever arm he used out of commission for at least the next 24 hours. He can still use his quirk a little with the other one, but it’s heavily weakened.

Obviously he can’t use this in training either, so he never thought to mention it to his teachers.

The heroes + Overhaul just watch stunned for like a solid minute as he starts making his way towards where the heroes are being held hostage with the kids because what the fuck.

Finally though, Overhaul snaps out of it and goes to fight the weakened Katsuki. The kids hide when Overhaul comes out and he throws Katsuki against a wall or something b/c he’s heavily weakened and can’t really fight with his quirk anymore, and then he struts over to him monolouging and ready to claim victory as Katsuki is laying there, slumped over and barely breathing.

And then the moment Overhaul gets close to him, Katsuki is up in a flash and the heroes can hardly even see what happened, but the next thing they know Overhaul is on the ground screaming bloody murder clutching his eyes and Katsuki is holding a blood stained knife. Then he gives Overhaul a curb stomp and he is OUT.

It should be noted, this is not any of the knives that he gave to Eri/Satsuki.

Someone, maybe Aizawa: “How many knives does he have???? I thought he was hiking????”

Shouto: “Oh yeah, at one point during the remedial courses we were babysitting kids together and he mentioned to me that he had 7 knives that day, and I honestly couldn’t tell if he brought more or less knives than he normally carried because of the children. Still not sure actually.”

Izuku: “I know he usually carried around 4 knives when we were kids but part of that was he had limited areas to hide them back then.”

Fatgum and Tamaki are both completely baffled and trying to fit this guy they’ve just been watching with the person that Kirishima described Katsuki to them as.

Anyways, so then Eri & Satsuki get the keys and go to free the heroes which are fairly close by while Katsuki guards Overhaul to prevent him from pulling a ‘gotcha’ on them. And also because the heroes are up a flight of stairs and Katsuki physically cannot walk up them right now.

It’s very emotional as Eri rushes to Aizawa and Satsuki rushes to her big sister who is now crying. And then the group heres a noise and all eyes go back up to the camera screens which are still somewhat up and running, currently focused on where Katsuki and Overhaul’s battle went down.

Turns out, before this whole mess started, the LOV sent Dabi to go take care of Overhaul because He Cannot Be Allowed To Have Arms, Goddamnit We Were Making A Point With That.

But then Katsuki went ahead and did Dabi's job for him, so Dabi radioed back to Tomura and Tomura changed his objective to "You know, while you're there anyways and he's weak, might as well grab the kid."

There’s two endings to this:

The door to the room Katsuki is in swings open and fucking Dabi waltzes in probably saying something like

"So, is this a bad time?"

Katsuki turns to look at him and in the most done, tired, angry, voice: "You asshole."

After drugging Katsuki somehow (because unlike Overhaul, Dabi is not stupid and isn't getting with 10 feet of Katsuki without being damn sure he's down for the count), Dabi kidnaps Katsuki for the second time and the two of them are teleported out of the area about 10 seconds before Aizawa/the other heroes are freed just barely too late to do anything about it.

This ending would mostly be because I'd want Dabi and Katsuki to have back and forth banter of Katsuki being so 110% done with everything and Dabi being like:

"Yeah, I'll admit, this is kinda a dick move and the universe definitely has it out for you today."

"You don't get to say 'the universe has it out for me' when you're the one kidnapping me asshole"

And also because it sets up some serious hurt/comfort.

or, ending 2)

Katsuki stumbles his way over to a doorway on the other side of the room to go grab some rope so he can tie Overhaul up. He opens the door, and Dabi's just standing there, having been about to open the door so he could capture Katsuki.

They just stare at each other wide eyed for several long seconds before

"Is now a bad time-"

And Katsuki slam's the door shut.

"N o !"

He takes five seconds to just stare at the door being pissed and then is like "No, fuck this, I have dealt with enough today." Then he proceeds to barricade the door as he goes through various forms of the words 'No, nope, fuck that, not happening', still exhausted and beaten up and done but 100% N O T H A V I N G T H I S.

The heroes get down there to help and and they search for Dabi only to discover on the camera footage that after Katsuki slammed the door on him, he apparently thought it was so funny that he just kinda shrugged, turned around and actually fucking left. Because, you know, his main objective was already completed, and he didn’t really feel like going the extra mile today.

All of this is on camera too, so it quickly spreads as a meme, along with other choice moments from the whole hideout fight including several ‘vibe checks’, one of Satsuki throwing a grenade into the face of on of the goons that was harassing her before, and also ‘knife check’ becoming a thing.

996 notes · View notes

thatiranianphantom · 4 years

Text

Riverdale, Buffy, and the Musical Episode, an analysis.

Hey all! I have spent far too long writing out my thoughts on Riverdale vs. Buffy’s musical episode, from the perspective of a theatre nerd. Thoughts are welcomed!

To those who aren’t aware, I, your humble author, am a massive musical nerd. I have ALL the musical memorabilia, Broadway and the West End are places I’ve visited many times, my favorite genre of music by far is musical theatre, and I am just a musical nerd in all senses of the word.

Which leads to a...perhaps more sharp criticism when a medium like TV attempts to dive into the world of musical theatre.

(Also, full disclosure, while I enjoy the music of Carrie, Heathers, and certainly Buffy’s musical episode, the music of Hedwig just...don’t work for me. It’s not bad music, it’s not a bad show, it’s just not my thing.)

In this short analysis, I’m going to attempt to explain why Riverdale’s musical episodes fail, and why it IS possible to successfully mount a great musical episode on TV, by way of example, Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s episode “Once More, With Feeling”.

First, a short recap of both shows’ musical episodes.

Currently, Riverdale has three musical episodes. These are all jukebox shows (performing pre-written and pre-performed songs), based on three popular musicals. They first did Carrie the Musical, then Heathers, then Hedwig and the Angry Inch. As to this point, all of them have occurred in a diegetic setting - that is, the characters were aware that the songs were being performed. Carrie and Heathers were explained as being the school musical of the year, and Hedwig was ostensibly performed to prove a point, and to support a student struggling with his own identity.

Buffy’s one musical episode was in season six, arguably one of the darkest seasons Buffy ever had. It is also a diegetic musical, but not a jukebox musical. It features original songs, written by show creator Joss Whedon. The songs are given explanations and each one is written specifically to fit a character.

To sum it very basically, Buffy’s musical episode is much, much better. It is the first episode I would recommend if you were ever in the market for a musical episode, and it takes itself very seriously, while occurring in a very unrealistic setting.

At the point Carrie occurs in Riverdale, the characters are dealing with a serial killer known as the Black Hood, who ends up murdering their friend and cast member by the end of the musical, on stage. Of the three musical episodes, you could make a pretty strong argument that the first two musicals tie themselves into the plot best. The role of Carrie’s mother is given to Alice Cooper, because she is also struggling with family issues. Purportedly, the song “Unsuspecting Hearts” is used to make up between two characters, as is “You Shine”.

Buffy’s musical episode occurs at a time where the characters are all struggling with big secrets that they don’t feel able to tell. It’s driving a wedge between all of them, and there’s a large undercurrent of tension. Buffy can’t tell her friends about the depression she’s struggling with, Willow is becoming dangerously addicted to magic, which has caused her to cast two spells, erasing a memory of a fight from her girlfriend Tara’s mind. Spike is in love with Buffy, but is very much wrestling with what that means. Giles has made plans to leave, because he feels like he is hindering Buffy’s growth. Anya and Xander are having serious doubts about their upcoming marriage. The tension created by all these boils under the surface, but nobody plans to say anything.

The catalyst for this episode occurs in the form of an unnamed demon, who is accidentally summoned and whose primary power is to make people sing and dance - until they can’t stop, and they burn up. It adds a note of risk to the episode. They are being forced into this, and the stakes are high if they don’t comply.

And so, one by one, all the characters are forced to express their deepest secrets through song, and the demon leaves them to deal with the fallout. It did what Riverdale, fundamentally, has never managed to do: the songs force the plotline foreward.

That would have been impossible without the songs. The characters are unwilling to open up to each other, and they feel unable to express themselves, until the demon literally musically forces them to do so. At the end of the episode, their biggest secret, the secret that will inform the rest of the season, is revealed: Buffy’s friends didn’t pull her out of Hell, they pulled her out of heaven, where she was at peace, and now the world around her is bright and violent and she is miserable. That revelation will literally carry us to the season finale.

Riverdale’s musical episodes are, in a way, explained as above. High schools do musicals. It happens. But all of our main cast, and all in the lead roles? Not likely. And that explanation is made even thinner in the latest musical episode, where characters burst into song at random, like Betty and Jughead’s fight in the bunker, or Kevin and the girls breaking into “Wig in a Box” during a sleepover.

The issue becomes very contrasting between the two musicals: Buffy builds their world around the songs. The songs are crucial to the plot. The episode wouldn’t work if these specific songs were not given to these specific characters.

Riverdale, however, bases the songs around the plot, and the result is a very odd episode with songs shoehorned in. They aren’t necessary, they’re just...there. Buffy crafts a plot around the songs. Tara finds the flower Willow used in a previous episode to wipe her mind of a fight, and we can see the song naturally build off that. Tara sings Under Your Spell, which is meaningful because she is quite literally under Willow’s spell. Toni is shoehorned into the Heathers musical to be a choreographer, despite there being no previous indication of any experience with choreography, because they need to get her into the room to sing Candy Store, because Heathers features this song, which means they have to.

The Riverdale musicals take none of the plot of their source materials, which strips the very songs they struggle to add in of all their context and meaning. For example, Hedwig is a show which features a domestic violence plotline as one of its main arcs. Hedwig herself is a pretty terrible person. You would never know that from watching the episode. Heathers’ entire premise talks about how it’s very easy to influence someone into cruelty to the very people who were kind to them, and how quickly a lie can spiral out of control. None of that features in the Heathers Riverdale episode. These songs are powerful because of the context that surrounds them, and that is just...gone. Hedwig’s final song (Midnight Radio) exists in universe as a song where Hedwig finds emotional catharsis and hands her stage off to someone else. It’s exceptionally meaningful, because the whole musical has been a journey to this point. None of that poignancy is able to be translated to Riverdale.

In contrast, Buffy’s final song (Where Do We Go From Here) feels very earned because it feels like the end of a journey for the characters. All their secrets are exposed, and you can feel the ramifications that will last for a long time after this. And that’s not even mentioning Buffy’s solo Something To Sing About, where she is literally begging for something to make her feel more alive. This only works if Buffy is singing it. The song is designed around her, and it is where she admits her biggest secret. The song is necessary, it is crucial. NONE of the songs in the Riverdale musical episodes have this same power.

(ALSO, RE: RIVERDALE HEATHERS, J.D. IS ONE OF HEATHERS MAIN CHARACTERS, I WAS SO EXCITED TO HAVE SWEET PEA PLAYING HIM, AND NONE OF J.D.’S SONGS WERE GIVEN TO SWEET PEA. INJUSTICE. ALSO ALSO, THIS LINE:

Reggie: Just two single straight dudes doing some theatre.

OH SWEET REGGIE. NOBODY HAS TOLD YOU ABOUT KURT AND RAM HAVE THEY DARLING?)

It should be noted that Riverdale’s songs in all three musicals are heavily reworked to fit the characters, and the TV network rating, better.

Music has meaning. The songs should be there to do something, not just have extra content to churn out and look good doing it. As stated, Riverdale’s musical episodes aren’t necessary. There are no stakes to their expression through song.

Fundamentally, Buffy understands what a musical episode is. They do only one, and that was a fight to get on the network as it was.

Think of it this way: did the songs affect the characters and plotline enough that it would still have ramifications a few episodes later?

Buffy’s certainly did.

One could theoretically say Midge’s death affected Riverdale, which did occur during the episode. One could also say that Betty and Jughead burning the trailer affected Riverdale. But those didn’t need the songs to exist. Again, they were just….there.

And then there’s the issue of vocal performance.

Look, musicals are a lot of work, and it’s hard on the voice.

Buffy’s cast does feature several singers. Notably, Anthony Stewart Head, Amber Benson and James Marsters have had separate success in music outside of Buffy.

Riverdale’s cast features a grand total of one person with professional musical experience (that would be Casey Cott, who makes that fact entirely obvious). I suppose KJ Apa counts too, so let’s say two to be generous.

But again, Buffy wins this round. Make no mistake, their songs are autotuned. Just about every piece of music you’ve heard since the 80s has had some amount of autotune applied to it. Sarah Michelle Gellar would probably be the first to admit, she is not a singer. Actually, up until she received the music, she was fully planning on being dubbed, and is openly says she is not comfortable singing. And you can tell. In the musical, she sounds fine. She’s not amazing. That’s actually the point. She sings well enough to fully communicate the emotions she’s feeling, but it feels genuine. You can believe Buffy is actually singing, not in that full voiced, broadway quality voice that so many Riverdale episodes feature, but in a normal-person singing voice, the voice we all use when we sing in the shower. Willow is not a great singer, and Alyson Hannigan is clearly not comfortable singing either. Accordingly, she’s given the fairly meta line “I think this line’s mostly filler”, and it doesn’t sound heavily autotuned. It’s a normal person voice.

In contrast, Riverdale’s voices are mostly a machine. I’d kill to listen to the raw tracks, but they are practically waterboarded with autotune. One can scarcely distinguish a real voice in there. They don’t sound like real people, they sound like professionally polished singers. And how many high schools have full choruses of broadway quality singers? It takes you out of the show. I actually would have liked Riverdale’s musical episodes far better, had they let them use their more natural voices. It would have sounded less polished, sure, but it also would have sounded more real. Lili Reinhart has a pretty voice naturally. I would have loved to see that being allowed to exist in these episodes.

(On a slightly separate note, Casey Cott is very clearly a singer. His voice is full, trained and controlled. It stands out above everyone’s in every musical episode).

In summation, musical episodes are becoming more and more common, but that doesn’t mean they’re easy to do well. However, if you understand the meaning you have to imbue music with on a medium like TV, and craft your context around the singing, it can work.

And if you’re looking for a musical episode, for god sakes, watch Once More With Feeling.

59 notes · View notes

opalescent-cheetah · 3 years

Text

I Don’t Know What To Do (About This Dream And You), 4/5 - Methydoll

Summary: Baseball players and mythical beings are a potent combination. After Crystal catches her eye on the baseball field, Nicky makes a decision that turns her entire world upside down. Meanwhile, Crystal is caught in a mysterious dreamscape, chasing a creature with eyes like liquid gold.

Inspired by these songs: “She’s So High” - Tal Bachman; “Digital Love” - Daft Punk; “Baby” - Francesca Blanchard

Chapter Summary: Crystal is an ordinary girl with messy hair and a baseball cap, and she’s not sure how to feel about that. Jan is the ultimate wingwoman.

A/N: Here is the penultimate chapter of my fic for @cobblestaubrey ! In which Aiden and Brita make a very random (but - at least in my mind - a very necessary) cameo.

Ao3 // Previous Chapter

Chapter 4 - Crystal

She’s back in that moonlit field, standing beneath the same tree, its leaves rustling softly in the breeze. Glancing up, she looks for the feathered shape she’d seen last time, but the branches whisper with nothing but emptiness.

Crystal takes the opportunity to gather her surroundings. Nothing has changed since her first visit, several nights ago. There is nothing to see save for an expanse of rolling hills, dotted with huddled thickets of trees. It’s nothing special, and she can’t help but wonder why she’s here again.

She turns, slowly, and that’s when she sees them: the bird person who healed her. They’re sitting on the crest of a nearby hill, feathers twitching in the wind, silently looking out into the distance.

So it was them, last time I was here, Crystal realises. She can’t help but think that they have something to do with this recurring dream. Ever since the night they healed her, they’ve been an ever-present force in her mind, and now she’s seeing them in her sleep, too?

Almost impulsively, she begins running towards them, desperate for answers. She knows they’ll probably fly away again, but her undying confusion moves her forward.

Crystal slows when she reaches the foot of the hill, taking the trek upwards one silent step at a time. It feels as though she’s closing in on a wild animal; something unpredictable, something delicate and defensive. She can still see the silhouetted shape at the top, the edges of their feathers shining silver in the watery moonlight. They’re ethereally beautiful, yet tragically untouchable.

When she finally reaches the crest of the hill, she finds herself only a few paces away from them. They haven’t moved - it is as though they are frozen, statuesque beneath the stars. Crystal takes a tentative step closer, but when her shadow falls over them, they stiffen, feathers spiking in alarm.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Crystal tries to assure them, but they have already leaped to their feet, every muscle in their body pulled taut. In the fleeting moment before they spread their wings, Crystal catches a glimpse of their face, their golden eyes ablaze with terror, and it stops her short.

They take off in a blur of feathers, their dark silhouette vanishing into the night, swallowed by the endless expanse of starlight. Crystal stands in their wake, dazed, her throat too tight to even call out for them.

All she can see is the fear in their fiery eyes, their hard stare burrowing deep into her soul. It haunts her; why are they so scared? Why would they heal her, and then run away from her as though she’s some kind of monster? She rubs at a hollow ache in her chest, biting back exasperated tears.

What’s more, they share a striking likeness with Nicky, from the gentle slope of their jaw to the perfect arch of their lips. The downy feathers around their eyes weren’t enough to mask the soft curve of their eyelids, or to hide the shining gold of their pupils, as bright and beautiful as Nicky’s eyes.

Nicky.

Crystal slumps to the ground, the grass prickling at her bare knees, but she hardly notices. The thought of Nicky makes her chest tighten, her throat closing with unspoken feelings.

She’s never met anyone like Nicky before. There’s something about her - something special, something different, and it’s not just the iridescent gold of her eyes. Crystal can’t even bring herself to hate the fluttering flames in her chest whenever Nicky smiles at her. No, what hurts the most is that she’s Nicky: she’s perfect, so put-together, and completely out of Crystal’s league. She doesn’t even know why Nicky gives her the time of day; to her, Crystal must be nothing more than an ordinary girl, with messy hair and a baseball cap. She isn’t like Nicky. She’s not special, or interesting, or funny, or cool, she’s just…

She’s just Crystal. And that never feels like enough.

You’ve got it, you’ve got it…

It’s a high ball, carving an elegant arc through the air, and it’s coming down, down, towards Crystal’s waiting mitt. She hops a few steps backwards, eyes never leaving the incoming missile.

This is it - if she catches this, the game is hers.

THWACK.

The ball lands heavily in her mitt, and she swings her hand downward, securing it in her grip.

“OUT!” the referee shouts. The bleachers - and Crystal’s teammates - erupt into cheers. It’s the third out of the last innings, and they’ve just won the game.

“Crys! That was so good!” Jan shrieks, running up and tackling her in a hug. Jaida follows close behind her, lips quirked in a smile.

“She must’ve been visited by the magical bird person again,” she jokes good-humouredly. “Hey, Crystal, you should ask them to visit the rest of the team, too.”

Crystal falters, her mind drifting back to her last dream.

“I mean, I would,” she finally says, “but I don’t think they want to talk to me right now.”

Jan giggles. “Alright, alright, keep them all to yourself then,” she says, swatting Crystal lightly.

“You’d better get yourself some extra luck for our next game, though,” Jaida adds, clearly stifling a laugh.

“No, like, I actually think they’re mad at me right now,” Crystal insists, unable to erase their terrified eyes from her mind. “I keep seeing them in my dreams, but they always run away. They seem… they seem really scared of something.” She trails off, biting her lip.

“I--” Jaida hesitates. “You’re not serious?”

Even Jan has taken a step back and is looking at Crystal quizzically. Crystal tries not to shrink under her gaze - if Jan thinks she’s going insane, then she might just have a problem. She decides not to mention that the bird person wears Nicky’s face beneath her feather-lined eyes.

Forcing a laugh, Crystal waves them off.

“I’m just kidding, you guys! You should see the looks on your faces. I got you good.” She shoots finger-guns at Jaida and Jan, trying not to sigh in relief when they both visibly relax.

“Whew, for a second there, I thought we were going to have to get your head checked,” Jan jokes, elbowing Crystal playfully.

“Excuse me! I am perfectly sane,” Crystal sniffs, but she isn’t even sure whether she believes that anymore.

“Yes, and pigs fly,” Jaida comments wryly. Beside her, Jan dissolves into giggles, while Crystal sticks her lower lip out in an exaggerated pout. As they begin walking back to the locker rooms together, Jaida adds, “by the way, I’ll see y’all tonight at the team sleepover, right?”

“Yes ma’am,” Jan says, and Crystal nods in affirmation, hoping that this will give her a much-needed break from her worries.

“Truth or dare.”

“Truth.”

Crystal watches nervously as Jan’s expression turns sly.

“Crystal Methyd, have you been… seeing anyone lately?”

“Apart from your mystical bird person,” Jaida adds, lips quirked in a wry smile, and the team giggles.

“I - uh--” Crystal stammers, caught off-guard. Her mind drifts, first, to the bird person of her dreams, but it’s quickly replaced by an image of Nicky’s perfect smile and her iridescent eyes, glowing softly in the cozy cafe. Did that count as a date? She feels her face flush at the thought.

“Someone’s blushing,” Jan teases her gleefully. “Come on, Crys! Tell us who it is!”

“No-one,” she mumbles. “I’m not seeing anyone.”

It was probably a one-off thing, anyways. Just something casual. Nothing worth overthinking.

Besides, if she let slip that she’s falling for one of Jan’s best friends, she’d never hear the end of it - Jan would want to play every role from wingwoman to bridesmaid.

“C’mon, sis, we can all tell you’re lying,” Brita laughs, elbowing her playfully. “You look like a tomato.”

“You’re one to talk,” Jaida cuts in, her dark eyes gleaming with mischief. “You and Aiden ain’t ever set anything straight.”

“Because they’re not!” Jan adds, shrieking with laughter. Crystal giggles, finally relaxing slightly. Across the circle, Aiden’s pale face turns crimson, and Crystal is hit with an idea. Stifling an impish smile, she turns to Brita.

“Okay, Brita, truth or dare?”

She almost feels bad when she sees the way Brita’s eyes widen with knowing, but the feeling is outweighed by her own relief - at least the attention is off her shoulders, for now.

“Dare,” Brita finally decides, her voice hesitant, careful.

“I dare you to kiss Aiden,” Crystal says, and the entire circle breaks into whoops and cheers.

“Fuck,” Aiden mutters, covering her scarlet face with both of her hands. “Brita, you could’ve just chosen truth--”

“Oh yeah? And be bombarded with questions neither of us wants to answer?” Brita rolls her eyes exasperatedly. “Come on, you can’t tell me that’s any better. At least we can get this--”

“--Over and done with,” Aiden says at the same time. She sighs, finally relenting. “Fine. Get over here, then.”

Crystal watches, deeply amused, as Brita stalks across the circle and crouches down in front of Aiden. There’s a strange fire in both of their eyes - Crystal knows as well as anyone that their argumentative nature masks something deeper, but Brita and Aiden themselves are the only ones who refuse to acknowledge it aloud.

Oh well. If anything, it makes them more fun to tease - so much so that it’s almost become a team tradition. Crystal rakes her gaze across the circle, taking in every gleeful grin and sly smirk, as Brita leans in to give Aiden a quick peck. The room erupts in shrieking laughter and cheers, and Crystal can’t help but join in, her own issues momentarily forgotten.

They don’t resurface until after the game, when Jan joins her in the bathroom as she’s brushing her teeth.

“Hey,” she says, meeting Crystal’s eyes in the mirror. She’s pursing her lips, like there are more words still lingering on her tongue, but she doesn’t quite know how to say them.

“Hey,” Crystal mumbles back around her toothbrush.

“I know we’re not playing Truth or Dare anymore, but I have a question.”

Though already suspicious, Crystal hums her acknowledgement, nodding for her to continue. Jan drums her fingertips on the countertop, hovering in a brief silence, before she finally speaks.

“Is it Nicky?”

Crystal almost spits toothpaste into Jan’s face. Reeling, she splutters into the sink instead, hoping Jan can’t see the blush that’s permeated her cheeks. How could Jan possibly know? Am I really that obvious?

She straightens again, her mouth still foamy at the edges, every indignant word she wants to say lodged in the back of her throat. The silence weighs heavily on her skin as Jan watches her, her eyes round with curiosity.

Finally, Jan breaks the silence with a giggle.

“It doesn’t take a genius to see that you two have something going on, you know,” she comments, arching an amused brow.

“Really.” Crystal washes the residual toothpaste from her mouth, refusing to meet Jan’s eyes. “I’ve barely known her for three weeks, so I’d love to see where you’re getting your evidence from.”

“Are you kidding?” Jan gawks at her in disbelief. “She’s been going to every one of our games since she met you. She hated baseball to begin with - you should’ve seen how much convincing it took just to go that first week, and Jackie said she loathed it. Until she saw you, at least.”

“She could’ve been admiring anyone on our team,” Crystal mutters, refusing to let herself be convinced. “Yeah, yeah, I bet she was looking at Jaida. I mean, who wouldn’t?” Jaida is not only beautiful, but she’s a sensational player. It would make so much more sense for Nicky to be admiring her, Crystal thinks.

“Well, Jaida’s not the one she went on a date with,” Jan counters.

“It wasn’t a date.” What if it was? “Also, how do you know about that?”

Jan snickers. “In case you forgot, Nicky is, like, one of my best friends,” she explains. “She was fretting to me and Jackie over the phone the entire morning before your date.”

“And she called it a date?”

“Well, yeah. She said it was a coffee date. I think she really likes you, girl.”

Crystal’s heart skips a beat.

She’s still just an ordinary girl with messy hair and a baseball cap, but maybe that’s all she needs to be.

Next Chapter

#rpdr fanfiction #nicky doll #crystal methyd #methydoll #crystal x nicky #songfic #mythical au #baseball au #light angst #pining #opal writes

6 notes · View notes

sonamy-flashfic · 4 years

Note

hi I love your work!! you're doing a great service for the sonamy fandom, could I request a worn out sonic fic maybe based on that "you're exhausted.." prompt?

I actually have a few ideas for that one! I didn’t read the full prompt before I got carried away, though, so this doesn’t draw on it so much (the one that does will probably be a little more fun/silly, if only for the sake of practice). This one’s set somewhere in the IDW comics’ current arc - the Metal Virus saga - the precise where of that being entirely up to you. It might be a little disjointed as a result of being written almost entirely at 3 AM over a handful of separate nights, so I hope that’s alright - I’ve tried to edit it so that it flows better. The title, meanwhile, is from Owl City’s Fireflies - a song I personally associate with exhaustion and insomnia, but also one of my all-time favorite songs. (I like drawing on lyrics for titles. It makes things fun, finding something that fits - or just hearing a song and knowing you need a fic to go with it. Anyway, that’s enough from me, yeah?)

I’d Like To Make Myself Believe Universe: IDW Comics Word Count: 808

"You need to sleep,” Amy insists, proving (not for the first time) that she’s just as stubborn as the one she’s trying to convince. Neither of them is backing down from this argument, it seems.

"You worry too much, Amy. I'm fine." Sonic stumbles a bit as he moves away from her, and she realizes she’s reached out to help him steady himself again. Sheepishly, she hides her hands behind her back to avoid the impulse. Still, she frowns at him, clearly unimpressed. "You're about to fall over," she says, matter-of-fact. "You can't keep going like this, Sonic."

As if to prove her point, he struggles to keep his balance; and just barely catches himself before he can fall to the floor.

"...Not much longer, anyway," she adds, softer and more sympathetic. The stress must be getting to her, she supposes, if she’s blaming him like this (Chaos knows he doesn’t need more people blaming him for everything that’s happened, by now). "How long has it been since you took a nap, at least?"

"A day or so," he mutters after a moment of quiet deliberation.

She narrows her eyes, unconvinced. "Try again. Honest, this time."

It’s his turn to look sheepish, and he doesn’t quite meet her eyes when he finally answers. "Three days."

"You need to rest, at least," she insists. "You know you can't fight it off if you don't stop long enough to regain your energy."

In her dreams, this is the part where she kisses him, or at least takes his hand or hugs him or something. None of that is an option now, but she tries to convey the sentiment anyway.

He doesn't pick up on it, though- or, if he does, doesn't say anything. It’s hard to tell, sometimes, but he does keep talking. "Too risky. If I fall asleep, then there's a chance-"

"I'll wake you, if anything happens," she assures him. In part because he's not leaving her sight until she's sure he's truly rested, at least for a little while.

"How? You can't just shake me awake, y'know."

"First off, I would never and you know it. Second, though…"

She swings her hammer around with a little spin. It's fun, for a moment, to do it without colliding with solid metal. Almost like it's just for fun, and nothing's wrong, and the love of her life isn't falling apart right before her eyes.

"I have my ways."

He frowns at her, brushing back his quills as he does so. Whether at her insistence on his rest or the implication of her words, she’s not sure. "You're not gonna let me off easy here, are you?"

"Nope," she confirms with a smile. "Do I ever?"

"Not lately," he admits. "There was a point where I could wink in your general direction and you'd almost fall over."

She flushes slightly, in part because he's not wrong. It’s not like she still doesn’t want to, but there are more important things to worry about - like his insistence on self-sacrifice. This boy is going to be the death of her, someday. "This is about making sure you're okay."

"Sure, Amy. That's all," he nods, with a playful wink and a wicked grin, as if to prove her point. "Nothing else about it."

Her face grows redder, as he settles on the floor in a slightly less uncomfortable position.

It's hard to think clearly, when he's looking at her like that. Does he even know that he still has that effect on her? She wants to sit beside him and hold his hand, maybe, but even that is a distant daydream.

"Amy?" he asks, sounding a bit concerned. Then, quietly, a moment later: "Oh no, I broke her."

She shakes her head to clear her thoughts. "I-I’m sorry, what?"

He lets out a soft sigh of relief, and a snort of amusement. "You zoned out for a minute, there."

She shrugs, smile soft a little bit sad. "What did you expect, looking at me like that? I- Um, no. Never mind. That doesn't matter," she shakes her head again, trying to derail the conversation.

He blinks at her, confused. "What is it?"

She slumps down a short distance away, leaning back against the wall. "I really want to be close to you right now," she mumbles after a moment. "Especially when you look at me like that."

"You're already about as close as you can get," he notes, gesturing to the short distance between them. There’s something about his expression, though... She’s pretty sure he understands what she means. Still, that’s not so important now. "Just go to sleep, Sonic."

Reluctantly, he closes his eyes, and she watches; surrounded by the sudden silence. She focuses on his quiet breathing, the gentle rise and fall of his chest, to help her stay awake.

#sonamy #sonamy fanfiction #sonamy flashfic #request #asks #and-noisy-arcades #i like this one more than the last one personally #and i hope you do too!

43 notes · View notes

ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 4 years

Text

HPHM Patronus Headcanons

We all have one, and we all have ideas for what the characters would have. Let me know what you guys think too! Rakepick isn’t listed because we already know her Patronus, and I’m probably going to talk about OCs in a different post, or else I’ll add them later once I’ve finally made up my mind.

Rowan Khanna - Aardvark

I’m not the only one who sees it, right? Our wonderful Rowan is quirky and inventive and if they were a wild animal, they’d employ such brilliance and like the aardvark, devise a unique way to catch their food. On a more somber note, Aardvarks are nocturnal and they aren’t pack animals - making them a good symbol for a kid who preferred to stay inside and read rather than help with the farm, a kid who really didn’t have that many friends beyond the people they knew by association to MC. Still, aardvarks are weirdly adorable and if you tell me you wouldn’t pet one, you would be a liar.

Ben Copper - Field Mouse

A small creature that is able and hide very easily, definitely suits a character who was, for such a long time, very timid. A character who knew how to cover his tracks - whether or not he was using such abilities for shady reasons. Mice normally symbolize innocence and modesty, but they’ve also been seen as unlucky before. In more traditional times they were seen as symbols of dark magic, or even the underworld - since they could often carry disease, were hard to capture, and usually came from the ground. Mice do have that dark side, and so does Ben - we’ve seen it in Year Six, and he’s definitely still hiding something. That was never really resolved.

Penny Haywood - Mourning Dove

This one is pretty easy. Doves have always been seen as a fundamental symbol of innocence. A messenger that comes to banish worried or troubled thoughts, and usher in goodness in their wake. Penny is nothing if not a force for good. Characters like Merula have even lamp-shaded how irritating it is. However, the Mourning Dove in particular is known for it’s melancholy call, invoking the symbolism of losing a loved one. Between Scarlett and Beatrice, Penny has demonstrated that however helpful she is to her friends, she doesn’t know how to deal with her own serious problems. She’s a hopeful, caring person...but there’s a distinct sadness blended in as well. When someone innocent is hurt, the pain is that much worse for them.

Beatrice Haywood - Chameleon

Beatrice seems to be a person that absorbs a lot from the people she looks up to or associates with. Not just in personality, but in physical appearance too. In Year Five, by her own admission, she was a “Mini Penny” and in Year Six, she takes after Ismelda quite a bit. Chameleons are of course, known for their ability to blend in with their surroundings. It’s their claim to fame. What’s more, the Labord’s Chameleon hatches after the parents have already died, meaning they have to make it without any support from the grownups. Not that Beatrice doesn’t have support, but...the teachers/staff have failed to protect her in the past, and she’s well aware of that.

Merula Snyde - Cat

Oh, she is such a cat. Few characters come close to being as cat-like as Merula. From her haughty and arrogant nature tying in to how people often see felines, to her actually being very lonely and desperate for love. If you’ve never had a cat, then believe me, they want your attention - it’s just that most of the time they refuse to admit it. Merula is the same way. Because of her upbringing, she seems to gravitate toward being a predator animal, or at least wanting to be one. But also the kind of predator that would play with it’s food and make a game out of it. Think of it this way - given Merula’s background, she wouldn’t know what a laser pointer is. And with her stand-offish personality, she would totally try to investigate it like a little cat.

Bill Weasley - Koala

The Koala Totem is said to symbolize a gentle nature, and give a calming effect on people. Bill isn’t just the oldest brother to all the Weasleys - he looks out for everyone in the Cursed Vault gang. In general, Koalas are social and easy-going animals who have been known to represent kindness and family. They’re also known for being inactive - which I wouldn’t say that Bill is, but despite his Big-Bro energy, he never really tries to stop MC and their friends when they’re getting into mischief. He didn’t stop Harry from trying to make a deal with Griphook either. He just kinda lets people do their own thing most of the time, or comes along if he’s invited.

Charlie Weasley - Dragon

What can I say? I couldn’t resist. Sure, it may be unlikely that he would actually have a Dragon for a Patronus, but we do know that such a form is possible. Just very rare. Well you know what? This wonderful cinnamon roll has earned it. Doesn’t mean he would summon a full-grown dragon on his first attempt though.There’s a head-canon I’ve seen that I really like, which says that Animagus/Patronus forms can sometimes start as babies, and “grow” the better at them you get. Alternatively, his Patronus could literally just be a baby dragon. As for the breed, I’ll leave that open to interpretation, but I’m gonna say Norwegian Ridgeback.

Skye Parkin - Hyena

Frequently scavengers, and often seen as cowardly - Hyenas are still vicious and are typically able to claim the kill. Sometimes even driving off larger predators and stealing their hard earned prey. Which is exactly the kind of dishonorable thing Skye would do. She seems to believe strongly in her “pack” or her team, and depend on them to have her back even when she’s getting into nonsense. Traditionally, the Hyena is also seen as secular, with it’s constant laugh being an act of defiance. Skye is a cheerful person most of the time...but she has shown that she has little regard for rules or authority figures that are not her Dad.

Murphy Mcnully - Bottle-nose Dolphin

Dolphins are interesting. They have a reputation for being very sweet and excitable, but they can often be...shall we say, rude or invasive. I love Murphy to bits, but he doesn’t always know how to read a room, and he’s entirely open about his bias toward MC’s team - even more-so than Lee Jordan. That being said, Dolphins are social, playful, and intelligent creatures. With unusual abilities like echolocation, they certainly match Murphy in his quirky brilliance. They’re caring, helpful creatures that will actually aid other animals in need, including humans. Even though Murphy isn’t actually a player on MC’s Quidditch team, he might as well be.

Orion Amari - Elephant

Orion is such a wonderful character. He might be an oddball, but he’s truly wise beyond his years. Elephants not only represent wisdom, but have been known to symbolize loyalty, sensitivity, peace, stability...all the great qualities that Orion embodies. They’re known for taking care of the herd, just as Orion looks after his team. They might be a little quirky, with their large ears and trunks that most other animals don’t have...but Orion is quirky as well. Some say that with their trunks down, Elephants are accumulating positive energy to push through their trials, which takes me back to the scene where Orion gives MC Quidditch robes. I cry every time.

Erika Rath - Lion

To be clear, a male lion. I know that a lioness can be interpreted differently, and we already have a character with that Patronus. No, Erika is a pack leader. Even if she’s not the Captain of her team, they seem to depend very heavily on her. She’s also ferocious. I mean, tell me with a straight face that you could take her in a fight, or that you’d ever want to. A full grown male lion lives by the code that ass-kicking equals authority, even if they don’t want to. Furthermore, the Lion and the Hyena tend to be natural enemies. Sure, a lion could take a hyena in a one-on-one fight...but what if the Hyena had it’s pack for backup? We’ve all seen Lion King...and we’ve seen how Skye has targeted Erika.

Barnaby Lee - Brown Bear

Barnaby is a man of brawn, not brain, and that’s totally fine because is also a man of heart. He’s already pretty much a bear in human form. Ranging from sweet and dopey in modern media, like Winnie the Pooh, to being seen as warriors and symbols of courage in mythology- the Brown Bear captures all of the very best parts of our favorite Slytherin cinnamon roll. He’s a gentle giant, but as we see in Year Three, he’ll jump into action to protect those he cares about the same way coming near a mama bear’s cubs will act as her berserk button. I would say the Bear really symbolizes his character arc in Year Three.

Andre Egwu - Satin Bowerbird

This is still my favorite head-canon about Andre and you can pry it from my cold dead hands. The bowerbird, aside from being a bird and thus connecting to Quidditch - is a creature named for the “Bower” that the males build. A structure that can be made of anything from sticks to flowers to random human garbage, that they create specifically to show off to potential mates. It’s not a nest, and they don’t use it as one. It’s exclusively for mating. The Bowerbird has a sense of fashion, and it understands how to score a date. Tell me this isn’t Andre’s favorite animal. I mean it could also be the Peacock, but that’s just too obvious.

Tulip Karasu - Jackal

I can’t believe I didn’t see it before, but this animal is perfect for the rebellious Ravenclaw. Let’s start with the fact that in the bible, Jackals represent isolation, loneliness, and abandonment. It’s okay Tulip, I’m sure she’ll forgive you one day. Then there’s the fact that they howl to establish territory, not unlike the way Tulip guards her findings with little padlocks. They’re usually seen as opportunistic, to the point where calling someone a jackal tends to them being collaborator with a sneaky or mischievous agenda. In folktales, they’re depicted as intelligent and cunning pranksters - which is just checkmate, if you ask me. Even the Jackal’s coloring kinda suits her.

Ismelda Murk - Anaconda

Like the Snake, and the Hogwarts House that carries it as an emblem, Ismelda is a misunderstood person - but that doesn’t mean she isn’t dangerous. Much like how there are stories of Anacondas eating people, that have never been verified...Ismelda talks a big game, but has never actually used the Dark Arts. A snake sheds it’s skin, just as Ismelda seems to have shed any connection to her sister, or even the rest of her family. In particular, the Anaconda is actually beloved by cultures in South America, and it was once common to sacrifice one in the name of a happy marriage...of course, that’s a pretty raw deal for the Anaconda, and I can’t help but see Ismelda as a sacrifice for the sake of her sister.

Liz Tuttle - Tortoise

As fun as it might have been to just choose a lizard and be done with it, I think a Tortoise represents Liz far better. In so many ways, it’s the ultimate symbol of patience, endurance, and persistence. If Ismelda meets all the criteria of the Slytherin stereotype - Liz is the opposite. She’s one of the most resilient characters, having to work against people thinking she’s odd, people not trusting her because she’s in Slytherin, and people generally being at odds with her belief that all creatures deserve protection. It’s not only the Hufflepuffs that care for magical critters, and Liz proves that. The Tortoise represents her decency, and her steadfast attitude. What’s more, Tortoises tend to have very long lifespans. And if Liz can face off against chimeras and come out of it unscathed...she’s gonna live a long, long life.

Talbott Winger - Golden Eagle

I doubt I need to explain this one. In the past, Animagi have been show to transform into the same animal as their Patronus. It hasn’t been confirmed that this is a rule or anything, but it applied to James and McGonagall. Besides, an eagle just suits Talbott. He’s a dreamer, a drifter, and he’s got his head in the clouds. But he also knows how to fight - having been forced to leave the nest far too early. Birds of prey generally represent victory, courage, and overcoming adversity. Which Talbott does - he’s learning to let his walls down. Taking the first steps toward accepting the losses that he’s suffered, and moving on.

Chiara Lobosca - Labrador

Supposedly cats, dogs, and birds are the most common animals to have as a Patronus. Which makes sense, but if anyone out there was truly a dog, it would be Chiara. Between her self-sacrificing loyalty to Remus, to her protective instincts in shielding MC from Greyback, she is the physical embodiment of the “we don’t deserve dogs” sentiment. As sweet as she is, she’s also quiet, so I figured a large dog was more appropriate, especially a Lab. What’s more, she’s interested in Healing, and that reminds me of service dogs. Or even just dogs that can sense when their human is sick, and gives them therapeutic cuddles.

Jae Kim - Raccoon

An inventive, practical animal - the Raccoon is known for having paws with defined fingers that allow them to do most things with their “hands” and that’s actually where the word “raccoon” comes from. I feel like the Racoon’s elusive ways and their nature as scavengers pretty closely reflects Jae and his business. Raccoons are frequently associated with adaptability and illusion. Their ringed tails and masked faces being seen as signs of thievery. But you know what? These animals are far more friendly then media would have you assume. I know from personal experience. So I think a character like Jae who is shady and skirts the law, but is ultimately a good guy, would fit the raccoon well.

Badeea Ali - Owl

Despite the magical community’s affinity for them, Owls are said to be highly rare as Patronuses, according to Pottermore. Most people don’t have them, but I think she would. I don’t think it would suit anyone better than the elusive, creative Badeea. They tend to represent wisdom, good judgment, and knowledge. It’s sharp vision representing insight and observational skills. Only a truly clever witch could be a spell inventor at this age. What’s more, Owls are an integral part of the Wizarding lifestyle. They’re constantly helpful. MC would not have survived the nightmare that was the Peeves Chapters in Year Five if not for their most mystical friend.

Diego Caplan - Grebe

If you know anything about Grebes as birds, then you might not be too surprised. Then again, I hadn’t even heard of them until recently, but when I did I thought “Diego.” They’re waterfowls that are related to flamingos. But the Grebes have an entire ceremony dedicated to mating, which involves intricate dancing. They compete with each other for a female’s attention. I’m not saying Diego is jealous of Cedric cause he has a thing for Penny - all I’m saying is that Diego is jealous of Cedric because he has a thing for Penny. Beyond that, Grebes symbolize fearlessness and perseverance in Native American culture, supposedly bringing a calm, peaceful presence.

And that’s it! I did it, I actually did it! I didn’t think I’d make it this far. And if you did as well, thanks for checking it out. I’d love to know what you think!

65 notes · View notes

hardnoctlife · 4 years

Text

My Thoughts on FFVIIR

It’s been a few days since I finished FFVIIR, and I wanted to put my thoughts on the game into words, but I gotta get a few housekeeping things out of the way.

1. These are all MY opinions. I understand and respect that others may have different opinions from me, however, that does not make this an open invitation for argument in the comments, bashing, etc. I have no problem blocking anyone who wants to be an asshole. Just be nice, please.

2. I grew up playing FFVII and all of its spin-offs. FFVII was my first RPG, and ultimately what got me into playing video games. Nostalgia is a -huge- part of why I enjoyed FFVIIR so much, and therefore I am openly biased towards the game. I’m interested to hear the thoughts of people not familiar with the original, because they’re seeing the story with a fresh set of eyes.

3. With that being said, I’ve already noticed drama surrounding FFVIIR fans who -have- played the original vs. those who haven’t, or those who haven’t played Crisis Core, etc. I am firmly of the belief that this is a great game for new and old fans and won’t tolerate any condescending attitudes in either direction. Video games are supposed to be fun, so let’s just all agree to enjoy the thing TOGETHER, shall we?

Alright, now that those things are out of the way, onto my thoughts. **MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD**

I’m going to be breaking this up into sections, because there is just too much to dissect! Let’s start with the characters.

“The Good Guys”

Cloud: Still my favorite character of all time, even more so after playing the remake. And of course, he is gorgeous. I could stare into his eyes all day. I know there has been a lot of controversy over getting new voice actors for the remake, but I feel like his VA did a great job. They nailed his personality of “broody asshole with a heart of gold”, and I think the remake had reasonable and believable character development when it came to Cloud’s interactions with the other party members. His dynamic with Tifa, Aerith, and Barrett was also spot on. I think it was a good move on Squeenix’s part to keep him pretty much the same, because he’s such an iconic character for the entire Final Fantasy series, so no complaints on my part!

Jessie: Okay, so, I hated Jessie at first. She was too flirty and all over Cloud for my liking, and I felt this strange disconnect between the “I used to be an actress but now I’m fighting for the planet” part of her backstory. Yes, she was still spunky in the original, but they didn’t draw it out nearly as much (I assume because she was killed off early). I -do- appreciate that the developer’s felt the need to give her more depth and show more interactions between her and Cloud and everyone else, but I also thought it detracted from Cloud’s relationships with Tifa and Aerith to an extent, especially the whole scene where she was asking him to come back to her place with him (yikes). And, true to Squeenix form, they killed off her character, even while letting Biggs and Wedge live (they both died in the original). So, in that sense, I didn’t really care that much for her, although her final scene with Cloud was very moving and redeemed her in some ways for me. So, yay for more screen time, but c’mon Squeenix, why do you gotta use your female characters this way?!

Biggs & Wedge: I loved the updates to their character models, and like with Jessie, I appreciate they tried to give them more depth and dialogue to make their involvement more significant. It did throw me for a loop when they both ended up living instead of dying when the Sector 7 plate fell. I was delighted to discover they survived (until I found out Jessie died and they didn’t). At times, I felt like their exalted importance detracted from other characters, especially at the end in Shinra HQ where Wedge shows up to warn everyone and Avalanche comes in to try and rescue Cloud & the gang, only to imply that he dies -there- instead. To me, it felt like an unnecessary moment to add in, but hey, there are only so many characters in the remake that people get to see, so why not give the Avalanche crew a more important role? I’m interested to see if this means that they’ll be returning in the next installments as they may be ‘fated’ to survive.

Barrett: What a glow up! Barrett looked good, he sounded good, his character was solid and true to the original. I have to say my favorite thing to see was how the banter and dialogue shifted between him and Cloud as you progressed through the remake. They went from basically hating on each other to complimenting each other and being buddy-buddy, and it was truly heartwarming. I even enjoyed using Barrett in battle (more on the fighting system later), which was refreshing. It was a good move on Squeenix’s part to show his softer side by including more scenes with Marlene, and he’s an excellent foil to Cloud’s character, which I feel was consistent for both games.

Tifa: My lady, the love of my life, my HERO. Tifa was -amazing- for me. Also, her VA was probably my favorite of the bunch. The updates to her outfit were much needed, yet she still retained her sexy allure, even if it was a little awkward to hear all the male NPC’s talking about how hot she was all the time. Other than Cloud, she was my favorite party member to use in battle—what a total badass!—and the scenes with her and Cloud made me squeal with delight. I was grateful for the extra attention put into their relationship, and how it was made clear that she was just as important and strong as the male characters.

Aerith: First, the positives. They expanded Aerith’s fighting range, which was appreciated, because in the original I only used her as healer. Her personality shone through a bit more, as she was even ore outgoing than I remembered her being (and even cursed a few times!), and I loved all of her interactions with Tifa and Cloud (my favorite trio/love triangle). Her backstory was pretty well communicated regarding the Ancients and her relationship with Shinra. On the flip side of things, I found her party banter annoying as hell and her voice grating at times (it reminded me of a high school girl), and I’m not sure how I feel about her interactions with the Whispers and what that implies for future installments. There was some hinting at the end of the remake that Aerith may not die like she did in the original (at least that was my interpretation), and I’m not sure whether I like that possibility or not, mainly because Aerith’s death is one of the most memorable scenes of FFVII, and that would change the entire plot. For better or for worse, who’s to say?

Red XIII: I loved all of the scenes with Red! His voice fit him really well, and they showed a lot of character development with him and the group in a short amount of time. I was sad you couldn’t control him in your party, but I’m hoping that will change in the next installment. I’m excited to see his backstory in Cosmo Canyon when we finally get to that point in the remake.

Chadley: This kid was annoying and weird, and I wasn’t sure exactly what his deal was, but he was definitely shady AF. Not sure why he was entirely necessary if he was simply a way to upgrade your materia, but hey, I’ll take that assess materia from ya buddy if it means new stuff for me to use.

Johnny: Johnny grew on me. Was he also annoying and weird too? Yes. But he reminded me of a Prompto-Gladio lovechild and turned out to be a sweetheart, so I say he can stay, Squeenix.

“The Bad Guys”

Shinra executives: Not much to say here for me other than great job in bringing this diabolic group to life. Yep, still hate every one of ‘em. They stayed pretty much true to their original selves, and all of them matched what I remembered of them, right down to the dialogue. I thought it was an interesting choice to see Sephiroth kill President Shinra (in the original you just find him dead at his desk, impaled on Sephiroth’s sword), but I’m not complaining. That guy was a grade A asshole.

The Turks: Love, love, love how they portrayed each of these guys, and showed how they are also unwilling participants in all of Shinra’s shit. They definitely made them more likeable from the get-go and I felt a lot of callbacks to Advent Children. Reno cursing and being sassy was probably one of my favorite things out of the entire game. He had -so- many great lines, even if they weren’t direct translations of the Japanese. I’m hoping they will include more of the Turks in future installments (like Cissnei in Crisis Core) and continue fleshing out their story arcs.

Rosche: Okay, unpopular opinion, but I did not like this guy at all. I’m not sure what the hype is about him all over my social media. Could be the mullet, which is an automatic ‘no’ for me (Gladio from FFXV being the only exception), but he seemed like an irritating and very pointless addition to the game. His sole purpose appeared to be to prepare you for escaping Shinra and fighting from Cloud’s motorcycle towards the end, but I felt like he could have been taken out of the story entirely without missing anything. I didn’t hate as many of the newer characters (like Leslie) as much as I did him, but I guess he and I just didn’t vibe. I’m assuming he’ll return later on, so maybe my opinion will change. (I sure hope so.)

Leslie: Okay, at first, I was like, “who is this knock-off Noctis wannabe?” but I really enjoyed the backstory and depth they gave this seemingly minor character. I see that Squeenix is trying to provide new things for older fans to take interest in, and in this case, I felt he was a nice touch. (Edit: I was told that Leslie, Kyrie, and some of the other new NPCs were featured in an audio book?! Which I had no idea even existed, so...the more you know!)

Don Corneo: Even slimier and creepier in HD! Honestly, hats off to Squeenix for translating what was possibly the most cringy and controversial part of the original in a ‘tasteful’ way in regard to all of Wall Market. This guy was definitely a worthy villain in the remake.

Rufus: Holy hell. I never ever in my life thought I’d be saying this, but wow, is Rufus hotter than I remember. Thank you, Squeenix for giving me another foxy bad boy to drool over. He was also, for me, the hardest and most frustrating boss battle (even more so than Sephiroth), but it was totally worth dying to watch all the cut scenes with him over again. Can’t wait to see more of him in the next installment.

Hojo: God, I hate this guy. I know you’re -supposed- to, but he is such a creep. Hearing his dialogue in the remake was even worse than reading it in the original. Gotta say, dealing with his four wards in Shinra HQ was my least favorite part of the game by far, but I know he will get his comeuppance later down the road. All the dialogue was just as shocking as I remember, so, yeah. Good job?!

Sephiroth: Alright, anyone else feel like they made Sephiroth EXTRA SEXUAL in this remake?! You too? Oh, good, good, same bro. Now, it could just be me projecting, but anytime he came on the screen…panties were dropping y’all. Of course, I’m not one to complain about Sephiroth content. On the contrary, I lap it up like I just walked through the desert and found an oasis, BUT, I will say this…you barely see Sephiroth at all at this point in the original. As a reminder, the remake only covered the first 4-6 hours of the original game, and I get you can’t really do a remake without at least SHOWING Sephiroth for the people who have been waiting to see him in HD, but with that being said, he was VERY involved. I love Sephiroth, he’s a great villain, but they are definitely changing things with him, so I guess we will have to wait and see what happens.

My one criticism? His voice was my least favorite out of the main characters. Not saying the VA didn’t do a great job, but it didn’t sound deep enough to be as intimidating. I prefer the VA who voiced him in Advent Children, but I’m sure it will grow on me in time.

Gameplay

Battle system: When the remake’s demo was released, I remember a lot of people were complaining about how ‘difficult’ the new battle system was, but I absolutely love it. It’s just the perfect balance of turn-based and real-time, with plenty of options for customization. If you want more real time, you can set your short cuts, and if you want more turn-based, you also have that option. My only real complaint was that item use is also tied to the ATB bar, but overtime I figured out when to heal myself in a timely fashion (after dying more than a handful of times). Button mashers won’t enjoy this battle system because it requires a little more strategy, but I think the point was to create an updated version of the original fighting style that would appeal to both old and new players, and it definitely delivered. Seeing the classic limit breaks used and being able to run around during battle was so much fun for me, and I about died when I saw Cloud strike his OG victory pose in Wall Market’s coliseum. Also, the transition between running through Midgar and entering battle was SO incredibly smooth and seamless that at times you didn’t notice the shift. Phenomenal.

o Boss Battles: As much as I enjoyed the battle system of remake, some of the bosses felt unnecessarily hard and/or tedious (I’m looking at you, Hell House). Making use of the assess materia early on definitely helped me out, but I legit got bored at times, especially that damn giant robot you fight with only Barrett and Aerith when escaping Shinra HQ. This is really just a minor complaint, but there were a couple bosses where I died several times (*cough* Rufus *cough*) before I figured out the secret to defeating them, while others were super easy or just not that interesting. Meh. For context, I played on “normal” mode, but it truly felt hard in certain scenarios. (That could just have been me trying to get used to the new fighting style.)

o Materia: speaking of materia, I did notice some new materia in the game, which was neat, and although I didn’t care for Chadley (dude, where are your parents?) it was nice to have a way to develop and earn new materia throughout. I found it somewhat strange that summon materia was just a thing you could get so early on instead of having to work for it, but I was excited to use it. Shiva and Ifrit were definitely my favorite summons (which hasn’t changed from the original for me). My one big question: where is the freaking ‘all’ materia?! I know they kinda split ‘all’ up into many different types of materia, and you do have ‘pray’ for healing your entire party, but man, that was so versatile in the original so that was a hard adjustment for me not to have use of it.

o Weapons: I think it’s cool that they developed an upgrade system to make use of your weapons long term, giving them their own abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. Made me think of FFX where you used the spheres to upgrade your characters. Also? I loved being able to see materia in my weapons when I switched them out. That was a really neat touch.

Music: And here I thought they couldn’t make the music of the original game any more epic, but they definitely outdid themselves in the remake. I enjoyed hearing all the remixes and ways they wove the classic themes into different parts of the games. I think my favorite was when you’re going through sector 5 with Aerith and have to control the giant robotic hands. The music in that section SLAPPED. The in-game jukebox was also a nice way to honor the old school classics. Hearing Aerith’s theme for the first time just about made me cry, and listening to One-Winged Angel fighting Sephiroth? Nothing could beat that moment musically for me.

Side quests: I’m not sure about anyone else, but I really didn’t care for the side quests. They weren’t very fun for the most part, and considering how linear the game is, they felt more like chores that needed to be completed because I had to, and not because I wanted to. The only exception was Wall Market, but all-in-all, most of them didn’t add much to the story, unlike in FFXV where I could go down a rabbit hole of sidequests for hours and hours.

Graphics: This is clearly stating the obvious, as anyone with eyes will tell you, the game is nothing short of gorgeous. I cannot tell you how many screencaps I took of just Cloud. It was definitely a world that I wanted to run around in for hours (and did) and will do so again and again just to look at all the little details. My favorite thing to do is watch comparison videos of the original and remake openings side-by-side. How crazy is it that technology has come this far!

Playtime: My biggest critique of this game is that it was too damn short. Stretching the first 4-6 hours of the original into 40 was definitely impressive, but considering I waited 20+ years for the remake, it was pretty disappointing to finish the game in less than a week. Like most people, I’m wondering just how long they plan on stretching this out, how many installments there will be, and when the second part will be released. Hopefully not another ten years, but it -is- Squeenix we’re talking about...

Storyline

Most people who played will tell you that most of the remake stayed very true to the original, even lifting some of the exact dialogue and scenes. The nostalgia hit me so hard in parts that I was literally in tears. The first time I watched the opening in the demo, I cried. That’s the power this game has over many people, including myself.

In other ways, the remake improved on parts of the story or re-imagined them. We always knew it wasn’t going to be a copy and paste of the original story, which I’m sincerely grateful for. I would seriously hope that after 20+ years they would have thought of ways to improve or polish FFVII and make it new and exciting for returning fans and people just picking it up.

My pros regarding the updates in the story:

- They fleshed out many background characters and added in new ones. Most of the core group spent more time interacting, and the party banter felt natural and progressed realistically as the game went on.

- New mini-games and side quests expanded on the slums and made the areas larger and more interactive, yet they still kept the nostalgia of iconic locales.

- Plenty of fuel to fan shipping fires with emotionally charged scenes and pretty boys abounding (Cloti and Clerith especially).

- All of Wall Market was brilliantly done. I was wondering how they’d update it for the new generation, and it was seriously the best part of the game for me (and had me laughing the entire time).

- Hinting that Zack is alive and/or Aerith may live is something I’m listing as a pro, only because I would love to see these characters used to their full potential, however, this is also a con for me, and I’ll explain why.

My cons:

Whispers: If you played the original, you probably had the same reaction as I did when the ‘Whispers’ showed up. “Wtf are these dementor-looking things?” At first, I thought they might be something similar to what we saw in Advent Children, and that they were ‘remnants’ or parts of Sephiroth, or somehow his minions, or even souls from the Lifestream, etc. When I found out they were actually supposed to be ‘protectors of fate’ or whatever, I rolled my eyes, especially when Barret was ‘killed’ by Sephiroth and then miraculously brought back to life. It felt very ‘deus ex machina’ to me in the sense that ‘everything has to go a certain way because we said so.’ While it makes sense, I really wasn’t buying it, but I’m assuming that we will learn more about them in the second installment.

The Ending: The whole final boss battle of the remake was surprising, because it felt almost exactly like the final boss bottle of the original game, right down to the cutscene where Cloud is thrown through space and faces off against Sephiroth one-on-one. Before you defeat the ‘harbinger of fate’ (anyone else get KH heartless vibes?) and fight Sephiroth as the final boss, Aerith goes on her long spiel about ‘fate’ and ‘destiny’ and ‘this will change us,’ and it’s laid on so thick that it’s almost like they were setting us up for an alternate timeline, which is entirely possible, but that’s all speculation at this point. Regardless, they made it clear that whatever is coming next is going to be -very- different from the original, or possibly is going to be another timeline of the story, especially since Zack was shown alive and well. One criticism I heard from someone who hadn’t played the original game was that they treated Sephiroth and Zack like people you were supposed to know, and I can agree with that. They didn’t spend -any- time explaining their significance, backstory, or why people were so afraid of Sephiroth other than showing you little flashbacks into Cloud’s deranged memories, so in that sense, the ending might have fallen flat for those who don’t know exactly what Sephiroth represents or who he is, or why he stole Jenova from Hojo’s lab, etc, etc. Plus, throwing in Zack at the end is something that anyone who played the original game or Crisis Core would get, but new fans would also not understand the significance of. Personally, I screamed when I saw Zack because I was so happy , but I can see why that ending would be very unsatisfying and/or confusing for some.

Overall: 9/10

No, it doesn’t get a 10/10 for me, even as someone who absolutely loves Final Fantasy VII, but hey, no game is perfect. It’s honestly hard to live up to the hype this game has created since it was officially announced, and all things considered, Squeenix -did- live up to it. I will still be eagerly awaiting part two, playing the shit out of this game and squeezing the most I can out of it until I get to experience more.

I’d love to hear what other people thought (so long as the discourse is respectful of course). If you read this far, thanks for listening to my ramblings!

#ffvii #ffviir #ffviir spoilers #ff7r spoilers #cloud strife #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 #review #thoughts #personal #opinion #final fantasy vii remake #final fantasy 7 remake

20 notes · View notes

purpleboy-writes · 3 years

Text

Spitfire

Standing at the entrance to the alleyway, having just cornered the three thugs I had just stopped from mugging a nice older couple, I felt really silly. I mean sure, my throat was currently glowing like a bed of hot coals. Sure, I was currently very much in control of the situation. And sure, I was wearing a superhero costume. But the costume was entirely homemade, featuring a hoodie with painted on flames, a bandana, and a fanny pack. I had gotten my powers barely a week before, and it was three on one.

I was barely under control of my breathing when I said, “Thought you could get away from me, huh? Don’t you know crime doesn’t pay?” God I hoped they’d just be scared by the superpowers, I wasn’t very confident I could take on three guys.

The guy in the lead, who looked like he would be named Dale, shot back with, “Crime doesn’t pay when the big heroes show up. Some kinda pipsqueak like you with a glowing throat? You ain’t got a chance.” Dale pulled out a nasty looking switchblade from his back pocket. One of his friends, now named Mario, pulled out a pair of brass knuckles. The last guy didn’t have anything.

Despite my lack of confidence, three years of boxing lessons had taught me a lot about fighting. With this many guys I needed to get some kind of advantage over them. The glow in my throat spiked as a small fire started in the back of my neck. I puffed up my cheeks, increasing the amount of smoke before spewing out a greyish cloud of smog. The smokescreen filled up the alleyway. I took the chance, rushing towards the only unarmed guy. My hands pulled up into a boxer’s stance and I socked him hard in the nose. With him still being surprised by the smokescreen, despite being outside of it, the punched rocked him. His neck snapped back as his hands shot up to his probably broken nose. The thug recovered fast though, rushing as if to tackle me. I frantically tried to side step but his arm shot out and caught me in the gut.

I barely managed to keep the wind from getting knocked out of me. In retaliation I blew a cone of bright fire into the air. While the thug was blinking spots from his eyes, I slammed my fist into his jaw and he dropped like a bag of rocks. As I took a second to catch my breath one of the other thugs crashed into my back. I managed to roll out from under him, barely avoiding getting pinned. I spun around and came face to face with Dale and his gross knife. His face was pulled into a snarl as the knife was brandished in my direction.

“This was supposed to be easy!” He lunged at me, knife first. I ducked under the first swing and slammed a left cross into his chest. I was breathing hard from the adrenaline; smoke and embers poured out of my mouth unbidden. I did my best to stay inside of his reach. I peppered his face and chest with small jabs, trying to get him to just drop from exhaustion. I pulled back from a punch and Dale shoved me away, hard. We stared at each other; the tension thick enough that I could cut it with a knife. The third guy, Mario, wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Must’ve run off at some point.

I got dragged back into the present when Dale charged at me. He swung his knife in a wide arc and in a panic, I snapped my arm up to block. I bit my tongue to keep from screaming when I felt the knife bite into my forearm. I wasn’t thinking beyond the pain from the knife wound. A stifling heat built in my lungs and I exhaled, bathing the legs of Dale in red fire. He screamed and made to pat out the flames while I bolted in the other direction.

I didn’t stop running until I was a few minutes from my house. I was shaking, drenched in sweat both from the exertion and from the fear. I fished in my fanny pack for the gauze and tape I kept inside. I was surprised after I ripped off my hoodie. The wound wasn’t nearly as bad as I was expecting. Pretty wide and decently deep, but I didn’t think it was going to need stitches. I wrapped it up in gauze and made a mental note to disinfect it when I got home.

I slowly started to calm down, getting my breathing under control and stripping off the rest of my costume. I hadn’t been ready for tonight. Three weeks of practice with my fire breathing, three years of boxing practice and working out. None of it had been enough to prepare me for a real fight.

I wasn’t planning on giving up though. When I figured out I had developed powers a month ago I was giddy, I still was. I had always admired the superheroes I saw on the news and out in the streets. Helping people, stopping crime, doing good. Saving people and working for the greater good had been a dream of mine since I was little. Now, with the ability to breathe fire, I could make that dream a reality. I just needed to work harder. More practice with my powers, more techniques to use fire breathing, more boxing practice, body armor. Body armor was very important. I could achieve this dream. I knew I could, I just needed to keep working at it.

I jumped the fence to my backyard and shoved the main components to my hero costume in a shoebox I hid underneath one of the bushes. I scrambled through my bedroom window as quietly as I could. The pad of sticky notes on my desk was picked up as I wrote a reminder to add some kind of body armor. With that final addition I flopped into bed.

My eyes hadn’t been closed for a minute when I heard the sound of the back door opening and closing. It couldn’t have been mom or dad, I had checked that they were both asleep before I snuck out. A heat started to build in my lungs as I slid out of bed and crept downstairs. A fire-y glow picked up in my throat as I made my way down the stairs. I could see a dark figure moving around in the laundry room by the back door before they moved into the kitchen. With the tell-tale click of a light switch the figure came into sharp relief.

I had to stop myself from releasing a gout of fire then and there. The figure standing in my kitchen was Ardent, one of the most notorious and dangerous villains currently operating. He had the ability to manipulate light in a variety of ways. If I wanted to have even a sliver of a chance to take him down, I needed to be careful and cautious. I let the heat in my throat continue to build until I felt like I was choking. I crept forward, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Just as I was about to strike, Ardent began to undo the buckles surrounding his massive, face-covering helmet. The heat in my lungs died in an instant when the helmet was lifted off of Ardent’s head.

“Dad?”

#creative writing #fiction #short story #original story #superhero #superheroes #tw: violence #tw: blood #action #superpowers #oc #supervillain #supervillains #superhero knows supervillain #it's his dad

2 notes · View notes

rachelthompsonauthor · 4 years

Link

The past two quarantine months have been like nothing I’ve ever experienced in my lifetime, and I turned 56 in January. So rather than regurgitate what you’ve likely read in the news or on social media, I’ve decided to share how I’ve spent my time these past two months along with random thoughts. I hope you’ll continue along with me as I share what I’m doing each week.

Books

Oh, how I’ve missed reading! With my business so insanely busy (for which I’m truly grateful) these past few years, I’ve barely had time to read little more than Slack, emails, texts, and social media updates. Not exactly satisfying for this lifelong, avid reader. This quarantine has allowed me a little bit of extra time, which I’ve put to good use.

In no particular order, here’s what I’ve read:

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow is fantastic. Read it in one sitting because I didn’t want any of the details of this lacy, incredibly intricate work to fade. I highly recommend it. A mix of fantasy, drama, and a love story (because in the end, aren’t all stories love stories?), anyone with a working brain will love this novel.

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng is also superb. I’d heard about this book for a while, yet only got around to it because it’s also now a mini-series on Hulu (which I watched afterward – also very good, though the character arcs and the plot changed in crucial, at times startling, ways).

Curious if you’ve read the book and watched the series, what your thoughts are? I could write an entire post about it, yet I’ll only share this…

As a child, my parents hire a housekeeper. My folks both work full-time and we are not in any way rich or well-off. Neither of my folks has college degrees – Dad is an assistant manager at a chain drugstore and Mom has just completed x-ray tech school and works nights at San Bernardino County Hospital. We live in a small house on a long street in the smoggy Inland Empire of California.

There are two of us, my older sister and me. Then my mom gets pregnant when I’m nine and has my baby sister when I’m ten. My folks advertise for a housekeeper and Miss Louise answers. She’s African American and willing to work for the little they can pay her. She smokes a lot (outside only, so as “not to hurt the babies”), insists on wearing a uniform though my mom tells her it isn’t necessary and comes looking for us in her big old white Caddy if we aren’t home from school exactly 20 minutes after it lets out.

(Miss Louise’s husband’s name is George. If you are alive in the 70s and watch The Jeffersons, you understand why this is an endless source of amusement to my sister Caren and me.)

Being that young, neither Caren nor I understand what privilege means. We didn’t get whatever we wanted because my parents are always strapped, yet there is food on the table, and the lights are always on. Except for the occasional venture to Disneyland or Knott’s Berry Farm that one time (mom hated it), our vacations consist of driving to visit our Zayde (great-grandfather) in a nursing home in Santa Cruz, or some other relatives we don’t know somewhere in L.A. (I remember one great-aunt who drank. A lot.) We’d always stop at Cantor’s for a soup and sandwich (the highlight for us), and be back on the road. We don’t mind because it is anywhere but home.

Anyway – my entire point is that in Little Fires Everywhere – the show – Kerry Washington’s Mia is an artist who takes a maid job with Reese Witherspoon’s Elena Richardson’s family to keep an eye on her daughter Pearl, who is quite taken with the teenage Richardson clan. The racial and financial dichotomy is blatantly obvious: a rich family who’s seemingly got it all vs. a seemingly poor black single mother, which adds to the ‘fires’ mentioned in the title.

The book really made me think about my own privilege and despite how well my folks treated Louise, and how much we loved her, and she us, there would always be that wall. Granted, it was a business arrangement and my folks paid her for her services, and in truth, anyone could’ve answered the housekeeping ad. The fact that she was African American and we were white created a racial divide that’s undeniable.

The third book I read is Certain Cure by Jennifer Valoppi, also excellent. It’s the first in a series (parts two and three aren’t out yet, darn it). The novel chronicles the life of three generations of the Cummings family; Claire, a woman in her 70s who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, Helene, her television journalist daughter and Justin, the teenage grandson whose adoration of his “Grams” leads him to discover the dark secret behind the miracle technology that is not only curing Claire of her cancer but tempting his mother with eternal youth, as traditional medical industries wage war against the mysterious doctor from China who threatens them all.

I had no idea what to expect with this one, and I’m glad I read it. Valoppi is a former TV journalist from NYC so she knows her stuff. I’m not particularly religious (or scientific), yet I didn’t find either the science or religious stuff bogged me down. Fascinating read. I highly recommend it.

Movies and Shows

Gosh, so many. With four of us in the house (and two teens), it’s worth it to me to pay for Hulu and Netflix, Amazon Prime Video comes with my Amazon Prime membership already, plus my internet plan comes with AT&T Direct, Showtime, HBO, and other premium channels. For the amount of entertainment, it’s worth the money.

I watch movies and shows on my iPad at night, once I’m finally off my computer. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like a super loud TV with stereo surround-sound barking at me after a long day of noise and stress. So I go upstairs to my cozy bed, surround myself with blankets and pillows and cats, and snuggle in for a few hours to watch a movie or a few episodes of something I enjoy.

Another note: not a big ‘reality TV’ watcher, mostly because, as a writer, I prefer well-written shows. I also don’t like the negativity and yelling normally associated with those shows. That said, I do watch Vanderpump Rules (on Bravo) with my daughter (age 20). We bond.

Shows

Here’s what I’ve binged these past few quarantine months, show-wise (no links because you can Google):

Ray Donovan – ggggggreat! Heard it was wonderful, yet truly had no idea how awesome. Liev Schrieber is captivating as Ray. Flawed, human, sad, and, in case you don’t know, a childhood sexual abuse survivor (church abuse). I had no idea going in this would be a theme of the show, yet it was handled with care and truth. The entire supporting cast is also amazing. Every season is great. Watch it all. I hated to see it end.

Homeland – the first four or so seasons were mesmerizing. Then, I got bored. This last season had me falling asleep and then WHAM! that ending. Worth it.

Hunters – Good, not fantastically great. The twist in the last episode will get you, though.

Upload – Loved it! Thought it would be silliness (and in some places, it was, but that’s okay – we need a little silliness right now). Had a ton of heart which I love.

Bosch – come on, it’s Titus Welliver. He’s fantastic. This last season didn’t draw me in as much as the entire rest of the series, though. You?

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel – terrific, all of it. Every season, every episode, every character.

Tales From The Loop – amazing. Anything having to do with time-travel or the bending of time, I’m a total sucker for. This hurt my brain in a good way.

The Feed – weird but good and thought-provoking.

Dark – by far, my favorite show year. A German show dubbed in English (you get used to it – don’t let that scare you off), this time-bending, decade-moving hit show spans two seasons and every episode is worth watching. And the music – my god. Amazing. Here’s a Spotify playlist link.

Movies

Parasite – thought-provoking. Took a while to get into it and then boom! It just goes full-on insanity. Well-written, well-acted, and the message of the movie is just, wow. No spoilers in case you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.

Hustlers – loved it. Whatever issues people have with strip clubs and ‘dancers,’ get over it. These girls are amazingly talented, are in amazing shape, and work hard to make money for their families. What I loved the most about the movie is that it’s all about the women; the men are only there as a plot device. It’s a movie entirely shot through the ‘female gaze’ (though of course, men will enjoy the dance scenes which are sexy, yet not unclothed). How many movies can say that?

Memento – I think I’m probably one of the few people who had never seen this neo-noir psychological thriller starring Guy Pearce looking like Brad Pitt (who was originally considered for the role). It was great, I think? LOL. My brain still hurts.

Call Me By Your Name – Lovely, sad, gorgeous. (And I will not make a juvenile peach joke.) And the music! Oh, my.

Zombieland – I hate zombies, I hate horror movies. I hate gore and squishy sounds. This movie was cute. (Not ready for the sequel, yet.)

Music

As mentioned above, the music in Dark sent me off on a ‘who are these talented musicians?’ lark. I’ve discovered so many. Here is who I’m listening to right now (all free on Spotify) and links provided here:

Apparat (you’ll recognize the opening theme of Dark and stay for the rest).

Agnes Obel – wondrous. I’ve played her entire catalog repeatedly since discovering her music on Dark. She’s become a commercial favorite as well now. Familiar is the song used in the show that’s received the most play.

Alev Lanz – otherworldly. I’ve not heard anyone like her. Her songs on the Dark soundtrack and Black Mirror are what she’s most noted for (May The Angels, and Fall Into Me, respectively), however, I love all of her work. Her harmonies are like nothing else. One song is layered with her voice and African throat singers – it’s gorgeous (May The Angels). She’s active on Twitter and we’ve interacted a few times. She’s beautifully transparent about her love of music and it shows in all her work.

Patrick Watson – I heard this song, Good Morning Mr. Wolf, on the Ray Donovan soundtrack and immediately clicked my SoundHound app. Who is this talented being? This song, in particular, sounds so large and cinematic – I wondered – is he is a film composer? (yes). A band? (yes). And so much more. I cannot get enough of all of his music, and still, I play this one song on repeat – repeatedly.

London Grammar – I discovered this band a few years ago and still adore them. Strong is still my favorite song, though Rooting For You is a close second. Hannah Reid’s vocals are big and beautiful.

Hilary Woods – ethereal and lovely. Especially the song Kith.

Sufjan Stevens – many of us just discovered him from the movie Call Me By Your Name soundscore, however, he’s been a working musician since the early 2000s. Talented beyond.

I could go on and on, but I’ll stop here. I made a Female Rockers list on Spotify which you’re welcome to.

Thoughts on Quarantine

My Business

Living in California, I’ve barely left the house in two months, with the exception of going to the pharmacy for meds or for the occasional physician appointment for me or the kids, because of the quarantine restrictions in place. And I’m okay with that.

I’m fortunate that my business is primarily online-only: I work with authors and small businesses on their branding, marketing, and promotion, so given that all real-life events are off the table, I’ve been quite busy working with my clients to ensure their products and services are still viable.

This doesn’t mean I don’t need help as a small business. I applied for an SBA loan and couldn’t even get onto the website the first time – it was pretty ridiculous – like the end scene in Beetlejuice. You all know who those first small business loans went to, right? Not small-potatoes people like me. So the second time around, it went much smoother, and I’m grateful to have received a small loan which will definitely help me keep going with rent, insurance, and other expenses.

I still did my annual non-profit initiative for writers, NaNoProMo (National Novel Promotion Month) this year over on my business site, BadRedhead Media, yet only for two weeks instead of the entire month. Daily blog posts from experts on everything publishing-related plus amazing giveaways. It’s always exhausting, yet I find enormous gratification in helping writers.

This year, however, getting writers to comment to win amazing, FREE giveaways was like pushing a house up a hill. I get it – people are focused on putting food on the table instead of commenting on blog posts, even if the giveaways were worth $500. That’s why I wanted to do this initiative this year – to help writers who are in a jam – yet only a smattering of writers participated.

I’m seriously rethinking if I want to do it next year given the financial cost as well as the personal toll. My first therapist, who I started seeing after I gave birth to my daughter Anya (I was terrified to leave her to go back to work, given my history with childhood sexual abuse), gave me this tip whenever I had trouble deciding whether to do something:

“If you ever aren’t sure if you should do something, ask yourself this question: Is this good for Rachel? If the answer is yes, do it. If the answer is no, don’t. It really is that simple.”

Self-care, y’all.

Social Media

I’ve stopped interacting with the crazies on social media (and who knows, maybe you’re one of them so truly, no offense), but I’d rather stay safe and keep my family safe by working exclusively at home – which I mostly do anyway – than venture back into face-to-face meetings with clients. I support four people with my business and if something happens to me, four people are doomed.

So the answer is simple to me: stay home, work from home, and don’t risk dying from this virus.

I don’t buy into any of this ridiculous conspiracy crap. Sorry, not sorry. You can if you want to. Spending time arguing with people online about it takes away time from my business, my kids, my guy, and my own sanity. Speaking of which…

Mental Health

There were a few mix-ups with my meds when this all started, and I couldn’t get my prescriptions filled and delivered before I ran out, so I ended up having about a week of insomnia which I’ve never had to deal with. I was a zombie (the non-squishy kind) and it sucked.

If you have insomnia, I’m sorry. I feel for you.

It’s all straightened out now, thank goodness. My son Lukas and I donned our masks and drove to the local CVS the other day because I couldn’t wait two days for my meds to be delivered. It felt like walking into a dystopian future walking in there: everyone in masks, tape six feet apart for the waiting line, plexiglass between us and the cashiers.

I’m thankful for these measures, of course, and wonder how long we’ll need them, or if this is our new normal?

My Writing

I finished the final edits on Broken People and sent it back to my editor. She’s had some health issues, so the delay is understandable. To be honest, I’m not in a huge hurry to launch a new book right now. Here are the questions that run through my mind:

Do people have money to purchase a new book?

If they do, will they want to read my new book?

If they do want to read my new book, will they take the money they do have to read mine, and then review it?

Does it even matter in the grand scheme of life?

I’m an author just like any author – I want to get my work out there so people can read it, engage with it, connect with me. I hope they’ll like it, feel something, reflect on their own lives, learn something new, particularly about being a childhood sexual abuse survivor. It’s a weird limbo to be in right now.

Our New Normal

This phrase is bandied about quite a lot yet let’s face it: it’s life as we know it, now. The anxiety is real, too. I haven’t hugged or kissed my elderly parents who live two miles away in two months. I bring them toilet paper and cookies from our favorite bakery (drive up and trunk drop off, pay online only) and drop it on their porch.

All these scenarios run through my mind: If I go to do this, what happens if? I know I’m not the only one. And yet, we can’t predict anything. So I sit here, writing this post, safe inside my little house bubble, grateful I can pay my rent, put food on the table (delivered by Instacart, thankfully), and everyone around me is healthy.

What’s your new normal? What have you been reading, watching, and listening to? If you’ve stuck it out this far, I thank you. Would love to hear your comments! Safe hugs, y’all.

***

Read more about Rachel’s experiences in the award-winning book, Broken Pieces.

She goes into more detail about living with PTSD and realizing the effects of how being a survivor affected her life in

Broken Places, available in print everywhere!

The post This is How To Spend Quarantine With Me appeared first on Rachel Thompson.

via Rachel Thompson

#IFTTT #Rachel Thompson

2 notes · View notes

changhomin-hatsukoi · 5 years

Video

youtube

C’mon Baby, Stay With Me

Cr: Malec Moments @ YT

- Alec by Magnus’s bedside

- Magnus woke up and they talked

Ah.. this episode~!! (i’m pretty sure EVERY single #malec fans understand how I felt watching this episode)

It was very hard for me to choose my fav moment from here but~ finally, that ‘c’mon baby, stay with me’ did it for me. I’ve been waiting SO LONG for Alec to call Magnus ‘baby’ like OMG! Wish it could be in more romantic, non-stressful situation but eh~ I’ll take what i can~..

(Edit: Okay when i listened to it again, it sounded it he said ‘Magnus’ instead of ‘Baby’.. so now i’m confused coz i could’ve sworn i heard he said ‘Baby’ before??)

Another small part that caught my attention was in the ‘dream’ when they were dancing and Magnus leaned away from Alec and Alec pulled him back.. I love that gentle but firm ‘Magnus, stay with me’ and Magnus’s breathless ‘I’m here’ is so heartbreaking as we know he was feeling all out of sort and weird and even in that perfect ‘dream’ he must’ve felt something is wrong at the time. But still he lets Alec pulled him back into his arms.

The part where Alec was waiting by Magnus’s bedside was one of the highlights of malec moments in this episode. Matt totally killed that scene, hands down. He deserves like 10 awards for this scene alone. When he pinched his hand, such simple scene yet it instantly made us viewers relate to him. Coz that was something most of us subconsciously do when we are stressed/upset/feel helpless.

Here I would like to share my thoughts on Alec’s character and how he probably felt throughout the entire series up til this latest episode.

We know before he met Magnus, Alec made it his life mission to be the perfect son/soldier/shadowhunter. Partly because his strict upbringing and parents expectations.. and partly because his parabatai is the golden child Jace Herondale who excels at everything (except basic common sense, imho).

We can see Alec never indulged himself in anything. Everything he does is for the Institute and his family. Everything he owns were just basic things a Shadowhunter soldier needs to survive. He has enough but never more and he was alright with that.

Before Magnus, I dont think Alec even knows how to be greedy.

Not greedy in a bad way.. but think it like this, before Magnus, Alec never has anyone he can call his own.

‘I was selfish. When you first lost your power and you said you’re okay with it, I didn’t think twice. I guess I was just so happy that maybe we could... grow old together?’

I’m not saying Alec wanted Magnus lost his power.

But suddenly the possibility of them growing old together, of being the last love of Magnus.. just as Magnus is his first and last love, the possibility he won’t be another precious token in a box.. is there.

Well, of course Alec can’t help but feel optimistic.

And he may not consciously realized Magnus was depressed without his magic but subconsciously, I think Alec sensed Magnus wasn’t as happy as he projected to be. That was why he indulged Magnus’s every whim and tried to make Magnus as happy as possible living in the Institute with him.

Which brings us to see how low Magnus actually thought of himself. Yes, of course magic been part of his life since forever.. but more than that, he truly honestly believe without magic he is not worth anything. He can’t believe anyone would love him just because he is him.. Without his magic, what else he is good for? (remember he told Maia once that people always wants something from him)

That few seconds when Magnus hesitated to answer him on whether magic is really worth dying for, gotta be one of the scariest moments in Alec’s life.

in my opinion, Magnus’s ‘Maybe’ is the most honest and raw and vulnerable Magnus had ever been throughout this entire show.

‘Look at me. Can you honestly say you like this?’

It’s heartbreaking to caught that glimpse on how much he actually really hates himself. And he said ‘this’.. like he doesn’t even consider himself as a person now. Just a useless worthless thing.

Unpopular opinion:

This whole Magnus lost his magic arc is really good for the character development. Now he is forced to see that even at his lowest with nothing else to lose, he is worth of being loved... That he would never be alone... That those who love him would never walk away and they won’t leave him no matter what.

He will see and accept that Alec loves him. just HIM.

And with that, I hope he will learn to love himself just as himself as well..

Lorenzo~.. ahh.. Lorenzo.. I kinda feel~.. well, i don’t know if ‘sorry’ is the right word to use here?

He is very obviously envious of Magnus. Somehow he has this notion that Magnus had it easy before and was born with a silver spoon in his mouth or something.. And he very obviously wants to bring down Magnus’s pride a notch.

I don’t think he’s an evil person though.. Just a very petty one.

But he still ‘help’ed Magnus with his magic (regardless how awful he went about with it) and he DID came with Alec to fix it back.

The reason I felt ‘sorry’ for him was that I think he finally saw that no matter what, he will never win against Magnus.

Downworlders are powerful, their magic/strength are impressive.. But when it comes down to it, they’re pretty lonely creature. I mean, physical relationships are common and obviously they all have plenty of that. But emotional connection? Not so much.

And yet here Magnus is, surrounded by people who love and support him. And it doesn’t matter that he lost his power and a mortal now.. it doesn’t matter that he is literally homeless at the moment...

Heck, it’s a fucking taboo to even be friends with a Shadowhunter before and yet Magnus managed to get the freaking Head of the Institute (who is insanely gorgeous, if i may add) to fell madly in love with him and willing to do anything for him.

I think when Alec was telling Magnus that he needs to give Lorenzo back his magic, Lorenzo DID feel a bit sorry for the entire thing (he doesn’t like Magnus but i don’t think he wants Magnus dead).. He could easily taunt Magnus and upset him more (at the risk of having a dozen arrows stick to his backside, sure~) but he didn’t and just kept quiet.

But then he remembered #malec is still going strong and he be like fuck you Magnus. I’m keeping the apartment. 凸(￣ヘ￣)

I’m not gonna say anything on Alec proposing to Magnus. Some people said Magnus would/should reject. Some people are excited and thinks Magnus gonna say Yes..

I myself kinda on the fence and don’t really mind either way.

One thing I am really betrayed about is that i heard they been planning the proposal even before the announcement of the show cancellation. So~ imagine.. we could have a nice reasonably long engagement period where obviously there would be arguments, tears, laughter and most of all: WEDDING PREPARATION

- Magnus getting all excited planning his wedding.. he wants all the flowers of all colors as decoration. Alec gently reminding him that yes baby, it’ll looks beautiful but no one could fit into the hall as it would be full of flowers

- Magnus wants to throw glitters everywhere and Alec being torn between indulging his fiancee and appeasing all other Shadowhunters who complaints about glitters sticking to their black clothes.

- Alec being the mediator between his sister and mother to agree on the color theme (Magnus can’t decide and wants rainbow but was quickly vetoed out)

- All the Downworlder guests and Underhill getting ulcers ^^;;

- HONEYMOON

So I am really pissed at Freeform for denying us of all this.

#malec #saveshadowhunters

#malec #shadowhunters #saveshadowhunters #alec loves magnus so so much #this is late but whatever

8 notes · View notes

pizza-is-my-buziness · 6 years

Note

New fic idea~! Jemma's a pizza delivery girl and she gets an order from someone who wants probably the weirdest topping combo that she's ever heard of. ...The person who ordered it is Daisy. ❤🎉

Getting a second job during her second year at school hadn’t exactly been in Jemma’s plans but sometimes life had a way of getting, well, in the way of the plans that she had for herself. Working as a TA only got her so far and she was starting to feel guilty about always letting Fitz and Bobbi pick up the check whenever they ordered takeout or needed a study break. And so, the idea of donning a pizza delivery uniform and spending a few nights a week driving around the campus and surrounding town was born.

Jemma likes the job well enough. It has certain advantages, like the free pizza (which has made her quite popular with the other students on her floor), the downtime to study in between deliveries, and the opportunities to drive around with her windows rolled down and her favorite music humming through the speakers of her car and the wind teasing her hair.

Not to mention the stories that usually come along with the deliveries.

Sure there are the people who are perfectly normal. Boring even. The people who get pepperoni or cheese pizza and who answer the door with all the right amount of clothing on. Parents ordering pizzas after a busy night that doesn’t leave time for dinner or in a desperate attempt to feed hungry masses at a sleepover. Teenagers on their own for the first time or people enjoying a night in without having to cook.

But then there are the people who definitely test Jemma’s limits, who make her wonder if she’s truly seen everything.

And Jemma thinks she’s finally starting to get used to the strange things that people put on their pizzas. Not that she has to make it or anything. All she has to do is look at the order, make sure it’s all there, throw it in her car and drive off.

But still.

Jemma wrinkles her nose. “I still don’t understand the whole pineapple on pizza thing,” she remarks, pulling her ponytail through her Goodfellas Pizza hat.

Mack, the acting manager on duty, just shrugs. “People order a lot of it,” he remarks. “So maybe we’re just missing something.”

“Maybe,” Jemma mutters without conviction. “Or maybe they’re just wrong.”

Despite her personal feelings on the order, Jemma picks up the box, enjoying the warmth as it seeps through the cardboard and through her palms. She carefully nestles the pizza into the passenger seat before plugging the address of one Daisy Johnson -apparent lover of pineapple of pizza- into her phone.

When Daisy Johnson opens the door, she looks perfectly normal. Jeans and a t-shirt with a corny technology based pun. Hair in a messy ponytail. Bare feet with a tattoo arcing across the top of her foot. Perfectly normal. No homemade tin foil hats, barely closed bathrobes, or questionable weaponry involved.

Even still, Jemma finds herself doing a double-take.

Really, you can’t blame her. Daisy is definitely the type of girl who requires a double-take and a bit of prolonged (but hopefully not at all creepy) staring.

Especially when she smiles. “You are pretty much my favorite person right now,” Daisy remarks as she takes in Jemma’s slightly crooked cap and the pizza box.

Jemma manages to recover herself enough to smile in return. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”

“Only the ones who bring me pizza,” Daisy assures her.

“Ah, so you’re just interested in me for my pizza,” Jemma says with a mock sigh and a shake of her head. “Sadly, I hear that all the time.”

Daisy smirks. “I bet that’s not entirely true,” she remarks. “But it is hard to argue against the appeal of a pizza box.”

Jemma hands the box over dutifully. “Well, I’m still honored to temporarily be your favorite person.”

Daisy nods. “You should be. It’s a pretty big deal.” She lifts the lid on the box slightly and Jemma wonders if Daisy is even aware of the way that she licks her lips just slightly or if it’s an involuntary reaction to the sight of the food.

She also wonders if Daisy is aware that she, once again, has a pizza delivery girl staring at her.

Jemma really hopes she doesn’t realize that part.

“Smells awesome, by the way,” Daisy assures her, looking back up from the contents of the box.

“Too bad you had to ruin a perfectly good pizza with pineapple.” The words definitely pass Jemma’s lips before she can really think about them and she can only hope that Daisy takes them as a joke. Her boss isn’t exactly paying her to insult the customer’s pizza choices.

Luckily Daisy’s sparkling, wonderful, perfect grin doesn’t fade. Instead, she just rolls her eyes. “Now you sound like my roommates,” she grumbles. “You’re all seriously missing out on God’s chosen food.”

Jemma lifts an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure pizza is not the food of the gods,” she points out. “Especially not when it has pineapple on it.”

Daisy shakes her head, giving Jemma a faux pitying look. “You don’t know what you’re missing,” she tells her. “Pizza and pineapple is the perfect combination.”

“I’ll have to try it some time,” Jemma says.

“No you won’t,” Daisy counters, a challenging smile on her face.

Jemma finds that she really can’t deny that particular statement.

She also finds that she really can’t stop smiling, even as she drives back to the pizza place.

And when she recounts the entire incident to Bobbi and Fitz later that night over slices of pineapple-less pizza, Bobbi only shakes her head, twisting a few strands of melting cheese around her fingers. “So you were flirting with her.”

Jemma rolls her eyes, tearing off pieces of crust. “I was not,” she informs Bobbi primly. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Bobbi and Fitz exchange glances. “Well she was flirting with you,” Bobbi says with a shake of her head.

Jemma scoffs, glaring at her friends. “You’re both ridiculous,” she informs them, ignoring Fitz’s slightly offended look at having been lumped in with Bobbi’s nonsense. “You weren’t there. And besides, I was just delivering pizza. It’s not like I’ll ever see her again.”

Which seems oddly disappointing.

Not that it really matters, because three days later, Jemma is picking up yet another order for a pizza with the name Daisy Johnson typed on the label stuck to the box. Jemma tries to ignore the odd twinge that she feels when she sees Daisy’s name or the way a smile threatens the corners of her lips.

“No pineapple this time,” Jemma remarks as she picks up the box.

Mack looks at her quizzically. “What?”

“You know…on the pizza…last time she ordered it had pineapple…” Jemma is starting to wonder if keeping her mouth shut would have been the best course of action.

Especially given the way Mack is still looking at her. “You remember her order?”

Yeah, keeping her mouth shut definitely would have been the better course of action. Jemma can feel the tips of her ears burning and barely manages to resist the urge to tug on the collar of her uniform. “Just…because it was strange…the pineapple, of course.”

For a beat, Mack continues to look at her, narrowing his eyes as though there’s something he can’t quite put his finger on. Then he just shrugs, shaking his head. “Well this one is even weirder,” he remarks. “I think she used just about every topping.”

Jemma peeks beneath the lid, trying to make sense of the hodgepodge amount of peppers, onions, meats, and cheeses heaped onto the curst. The only thing missing this time, it seems, is the pineapple.

The only thing that makes Jemma feel slightly better about the odd looks she got from Mack earlier is the fact that when Daisy Johnson opens the door, her face seems to brighten and her (perfect, wonderful, flawless, amazing) grin slips easily back into place. “My favorite person.”

“Oh it’s not going to work this time,” Jemma remarks. “I already know you’re only interested in me for the pizza.”

Daisy puts a hand over her heart. “Ouch, that really hurts.” She punctuates the words with a wince and a shake of her head. “I really thought we had something here.”

That annoying, totally ridiculous and irrelevant twinge is back in her chest. Jemma tries to ignore it. “A relationship built on pizza is not relationship at all,” she says. “Especially a pizza as strange as this one.”

“Okay, but I can explain,” Daisy assures her, accepting the box. “We couldn’t decide on what toppings to get so my roommates decided we needed everything since we couldn’t agree.”

“Except the pineapple.”

Daisy nods. “Except the pineapple.”

She winks and Jemma isn’t entirely sure that she’ll add that part into the story when she relays the details of this encounter to Bobbi later.

Not for any particular reason, of course, just because it’s…not important.

“There’s nothing wrong with a good slice of cheese pizza,” Jemma says. “It’s a classic for a reason.”

“Boring,” Daisy sing-songs. “I’m disappointed in you, Jemma Simmons.”

It takes Jemma a minute to realize the name tag on her shirt, pinned above the Goodfellas logo.

It takes her a second more to decide she doesn’t really mind so much that Daisy is calling her by her name.

The door swings open wider and another face appears, the guy seemingly confused as to why the conversation is still taking place. “The pizza is here?” It somehow manages to be both a statement and a question at the same time.

Daisy rolls her eyes at Jemma, as though they’re sharing some sort of a secret. “Yes, Lincoln, the pizza is here.” She shakes her head, handing the box over to the aforementioned Lincoln. “Now we can enjoy this monster we have created.”

She gives Jemma a parting smile before shutting the door behind her.

Jemma decides not to tell any of this story to Bobbi.

Just to be the on the safe side.

~ ~ ~

The next time an order from Daisy comes in, Jemma practically elbows Elena out of the way to snatch the ticket first. “I’ll do this one,” she says quickly. “I’m already familiar with the route.”

Elena looks at her, trying to figure out what she’s missing. “Okay…?” She draws the word out uncertain.

“Pineapple Girl again?” Mack asks from the office, where Jemma had assumed he was filling out paperwork and minding his own business.

Apparently not.

Elena glances at her and Jemma is pretty sure her face gives her away before she can school her expression and come up with a logical reason as to why she’s so desperate to take this particular delivery. Elena’s grin widens and Jemma feels her cheeks grow hotter. “Pineapple Girl, hmm?”

Jemma turns away, snatching up the pizza box. “It’s nothing,” she says. “Don’t listen to Mack. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Then you won’t mind if I…” Elena reaches for the ticket in Jemma’s hand, attempting tug it free.

Jemma tightens her grip without even realizing it. “I’ve got it,” she says quickly.

Both Mack and Elena are staring at her, neither attempting to hide their grins.

“I’m already on my way,” Jemma tells them breezily. “It’s fine.”

Mack and Elena exchange a look that Jemma figures Bobbi would definitely want to get in on.

But what do they know?

So what if she enjoys delivering pizzas to Daisy’s house so they can exchange a few minutes of witty banter (banter, not flirting, of course) and she gets to enjoy Daisy’s smile?

Is that a crime?

Honestly, she needs to enjoy her job any way that she can.

~ ~ ~

Jemma is tapping her pen absently against the corner of her textbook, attempting to work through the next week’s course outline, when a plate of cheese pizza drops onto the center of her papers.

Startled, Jemma looks up and the fact that she sees Daisy Johnson standing there in front of her does little to help the surprised expression on her face. At least she manages to snap her mouth closed, recovering a little bit of dignity.

“Hey, still my favorite person,” Daisy says with a tentative smile, another paper plate with a pizza slice in her hand. “Even though now I’m the one holding the pizza.”

Jemma manages to recover herself, smiling slightly, sitting up straighter. “Well I guess that’s the true test, hmm?”

Daisy gives her a questioning look and Jemma quickly nods toward the empty chair across from her, moving her books and notes out of the way to clear a space for Daisy. “I didn’t know you were a student here.”

“Yeah, they haven’t kicked me out yet,” Daisy says with a nod, settling herself in the seat. “Probably because of all the awesome pizza I’ve been eating lately. Great brain food.”

Jemma raises an eyebrow, looking at the pizza in front of Daisy. “No pineapple.”

“No pineapple,” Daisy confirms. “I thought I might give regular cheese a try. It’s a classic you know.”

Jemma grins, leaning back in her seat. “You know, that’s what I hear.”

She thinks this definitely might be considered flirting now. There might be no way to deny it, especially not with the smile on Daisy’s face or the nervous, excited flutter that Jemma feels building in her chest.

Jemma figures she’ll have to tell Bobbi about all of this now. Especially if these pizza dates continue.

Which she really hopes they do.

Especially if she isn’t the one has to deliver the pizza.

#skimmons #bioquake #I got a little carried away writing this I guess #that's what happens when you write prompts while your kids are taking a final

59 notes · View notes

inawickedlittletown · 6 years

Text

Walking The Wire (82/?)

Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn’t know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.

This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I’ve taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.

Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Tony/Steve (endgame), Tony/Mary (past)

A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3

I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony

Masterpost

Chapter Eighty One

Tony hated him.

Peter knew that hate was probably a strong word, but that’s what it felt like. It felt like Tony was just so disappointed and so upset at him that he hadn’t been able to even stick around after Peter handed over the suit. Peter had had that coming once Tony figured out about how the suit had been hacked into. He had just screwed up so badly with not getting it fixed up. The whole ferry thing had gone wrong too and Peter hated it -- he hated that everything he did seemed to end in disaster, proving to Tony time and time again that Peter really was just a kid and that he couldn’t actually handle the whole hero thing. Or rather that he couldn’t handle them alone. He was really regretting not talking to Tony directly after the interrogation.

Happy dropped him off outside the house and didn’t wait long before pulling off. At least he didn’t say anything on the drive over because Peter didn’t know if he would have been able to hold it together if he had. As it was, he had been close to breaking down the entire drive back.

More than anything, he hated how useless he had felt while Tony fixed everything and the weapons dealers still got away. The look of disappointment in Tony’s eyes had been worse afterwards especially after remembering how Tony had been in Washington DC and how he’d held Peter and been gentle. This time he’d taken the opposite approach and Peter didn’t blame him. Someone could have died and it would have been Peter’s fault.

He got inside and May was on him at once. “I’ve been calling you all day. You didn’t answer your phone. You can’t do that, Peter! Then this ferry thing happens and you’re nowhere to be found and I know you weren’t with Tony because he was out at the ferry thing. I called five of your classmates and Ned. I called Ned’s mom.”

Peter tried to walk around May but she stopped him and Peter just let her. “I’m fine. May, I’m okay. Honestly, just relax. I’m fine.” Except that he wasn’t really.

“Cut the bullshit,” May said and it threw Peter off a bit because May was never one to curse much around him.

Peter stared at her for a moment, not sure what to say. Did she know? Did she know he was Spider-Man?

“I know you left detention early today -- the school called. I know you left the hotel room in Washington too because your school called. I know you didn’t make it to the decathlon competition. I know you sneak out of this house all the time. That’s not fine. Peter, you’re not fine. And I don’t know if this is related to finding out that Tony Stark is your father or what but something is up. You haven’t been okay in a while and I just -- I want to know what’s going on with you. This is me asking, Pete. Please.”

Peter hated it. Hated the way she looked at him and was expecting him to answer. Peter couldn’t tell her the truth -- about Spider-Man and how much time he spent running around Queens in the suit. Telling her would be pointless anyway since he couldn’t really be Spider-Man anymore. But mostly, May was understanding about a lot but Peter suspected that Spider-Man wouldn’t be something she understood.

“I got into a fight with Tony,” Peter said instead. “Probably for the best I don’t even see him anymore since he probably hates me now.” It wasn’t exactly all that far off from the truth except that it hadn’t really been a fight.

“Tony doesn’t hate you,” May said. “That still doesn’t explain everything else.”

Peter sighed. He wasn’t going to get off easy. “I left detention to see Tony. I told Karen not to answer the phone because I was with him and we were -- anyway I won’t be busy with going over to the tower anymore. It’s been a lot, May. Getting to know my dad and sort of having an internship there and school and I thought I could do it all but I just can’t. I want things to go back to what they used to be. I screwed it all up.”

He must have looked pitiful. Or maybe May just didn’t want to add to the horrible day that he was already having because instead of bringing up the sneaking out again or pointing out the many holes in his explanation, she just pulled him into her arms. Warmth surrounded him and it helped.

“It’s okay, Pete, it’s okay.”

Peter didn’t know when he started crying, but it had been building up in him since the ferry and May just clutched him to her and her hands were in his hair and it was so reminiscent of Tony hugging him just the other day after what happened at the Washington Monument. It hit him hard to know that he probably wouldn’t have that again -- that Tony probably wanted nothing to do with him because he was such a screw up. He couldn’t be Spider-Man because he just kept screwing it up and he was bad at listening to anything Tony asked of him too.

“I’m sorry I made you worry,” Peter whispered.

“I know,” May said. “And anyway, I used to sneak out too when I was your age.” She kissed the top of Peter’s head and Peter’s tears were slowing down. “Take a shower. You smell. You smell like garbage. I don’t even want to know why you smell this badly. And -- wait, what happened to your clothes?”

Peter shook his head. “Got ruined. This was all Tony could find.”

“Right. The billionaire couldn’t get you anything better,” May said with a slight smirk and Peter just groaned as he headed to his room. At least he wasn’t crying anymore.

“By the way,” May called out, “the man is your father and he cares a great deal about you. I know you know that.”

Peter didn’t respond. He knew that logically she was telling the truth and yet -- and yet Peter also didn’t know how he was supposed to look at Tony again after disappointing him the way he had -- deliberately going against his wishes and just making things worse and worse. Maybe Tony was right and he didn’t deserve the suit -- he didn’t deserve to be Spider-Man.

Tony flew back to the tower and he dumped the suit onto a table in the workshop but couldn’t really look at it or start working on it because he was still just so upset and annoyed by Peter’s antics. It was that he had hacked the suit that pissed him off the most. The reckless behavior was something that he had come to expect and when he really thought about it, it wasn’t all that reckless at all. But for Peter to actually mess with the suit -- that was something else entirely. Tony trusted Peter with the suit and he’d gone and removed the tracking and the protocols set in place to protect him. Even Karen was a bit of a concern since she didn’t seem to be answering to Friday.

Tony walked over to the futon and sat down and wished that Steve was with him. Earlier in the day he had been so happy and ready to have Peter over with Pepper and Rhodey and Vision for a small celebration for what they had finally settled on. It wasn’t entirely official yet because Steve, Natasha, Sam, and Wanda would need to sign The New Accords first, but it was as good as and Tony couldn’t wait for them to be back. But then, he’d had to go and clean up Peter’s mess. He’d made it there just in time too before everything really fell apart and someone was seriously injured. As it was, someone had almost drowned and a couple of people had concussions.

“Friday, do you think I handled that well?”

“I do not know, sir,” Friday said.

“Yeah, me either,” Tony said and pulled out the flip phone. He really couldn’t wait until the day when he didn’t need to use that infernal device ever again.

He called the only number on the phone and waited only a few rings before Steve picked up.

“Hi,” Steve said and Tony could tell he was smiling. “I heard the good news.”

“It seems someone keeps blowing the surprise,” Tony said. “Then again, that spy of yours is good. I’m glad we’re all on the same team.”

Steve chuckled. Tony leaned back on the futon and he let himself smile because hearing Steve’s voice just did that to him.

“We’re all game,” Steve said. “We’ll sign as soon as everything is ready. I’m just a bit impressed by how quick this is all going.”

Tony grinned. “That’s what I like to hear,” he said. “Have you read the new version?”

“Of course.”

“Good. I didn’t want any surprises. Is there anything -- it’s all good right?”

“Yes, Tony. The changes make sense -- it’s something we can worth with. That we should work work with. No surprises here. We’re not going down that path again. I just want to be home. I want to be with you.”

Tony let out a breath. Relief because he was still a little unsure. “I -- good. Good.”

Neither spoke for a moment until: “What, um, what happened with that ferry today? I saw Spider-Man was involved? There was some news coverage that even we got to see.”

Tony sighed and then he jumped into an explanation. He went back to the first night that had started everything -- that ATM robbery that Peter had been involved with and then the night that Peter had gone chasing that van and the whole thing at the Washington Monument until finally he got to the ferry.

“He is going to send me to an early grave,” Tony said. “I’m almost tempted to put the arc reactor back in my chest before he gives me a heart attack. He’s -- I’ve never worried so much in my life.”

Steve laughed and Tony waited for him to respond.

“I think he’s just trying really hard to please you -- to show you what he can do,” Steve said at last. “That said, he can’t be that reckless. Maybe he just needs to train up a bit -- really practice with his powers so he’s not just running around trying things as he goes when he comes upon something like this.”

Tony smiled to himself. “I was never fond of those long morning drills you made us all do. Might be good for Peter, though. You’ll be back soon enough.”

“Yes and not supposed to be doing any of that,” Steve said.

“You’re allowed to train,” Tony said. “As long as it’s done inside the tower. Really there’s not much you can’t do inside the tower. But you’re probably right. It’s just that I’ve seen him in action, you know, and he’s amazing. He has such good instincts and he picks up on how to use his webs and the suit really well that it didn’t occur to me that that was something he needed to work on. Actually, he came very close to keeping that ferry together. Minor mistake.”

“You sound proud. And of course Peter needs to train.”

“I am,” Tony said. “Peter’s wonderful. He’s everything -- I just don’t want to lose him. He could be anything he wants and I’ll support him but I just -- I was so angry at him.”

“So let him be for a few days and then go see him. And the rest of us will be there soon and we’ll help -- I can’t wait to meet him.”

Tony let himself smile again. He could only imagine how happy Peter would be to meet Steve. To meet all of them really.

“I just hope he doesn’t decide to go out in those sweats of his while I have the suit. Anyway, enough about Peter. I’m making a few changes to the tower for all of you. Just wondering if you want your old floor back.”

“I don’t really think that will be necessary, will it? I mean, I’ll mostly be sleeping on that futon in your workshop.”

Tony couldn’t help but laugh, but he let his smile linger. “Just wanted to double check.”

Chapter Eighty Three

#peter and tony #peter and tony fic #mcuwriting #mcu fic #iron dad #iron dad and spider son #stony #stony fic #marvel

2 notes · View notes

jennycalendar · 6 years

Text

dragonslayers

read on ao3!

"but the truth is, there really isn’t any right thing to say sometimes. sometimes you just have to leave.”

jenny, anya, and tara struggle to figure themselves out beyond the love that's defined them since they came to sunnydale.

so: my love letter to my three favorite characters on btvs. like, these are three girls who all kinda never got an arc outside The Girlfriend, and i love them, and they deserve to be happy with an adorable dog. it’s the sequel to another fic i wrote, like, a year ago, which you can read if you want to (please. do), but all you Really need to know is that jenny came back as a ghost & anya was instrumental in resurrecting her all the way. anyway! please read!

Jenny Calendar is alive.

And that should seem like something huge and dizzying, shouldn’t it?

“Mix it,” says Anya, then, “Mix it,” then, “Fucking morons don’t know how to mix the fucking batter,” and upends the popcorn all over the coffee table as she reaches, violently, for her beer. Rupert winces a little and slips his arm around Jenny’s shoulder, tugging her away from what looks to be an unpleasant spill.

Rupert smells like cologne and a touch of alcohol. Somewhere along the line, he lost that comforting, soft smell of pressed linen that came from the way he used to iron his shirts. Jenny misses that smell, but she doesn’t want to tell him that, because he looks so devastatingly happy to have her in his arms again. She can’t take that happiness away from him.

“The fuckers didn’t mix it,” says Anya a little tearfully, “they’re not going to make it to the next round.” She falls back against the couch, defeated.

Anya watches cooking shows like most people watch football, lately. Jenny thinks it’s because Xander did most of the cooking and Anya doesn’t want to admit she misses him, so she settles for aggressively surrounding herself with things that remind her of him and never once mentioning his name. She’s not sure how well that’s going for anyone.

Rupert presses his mouth to Jenny’s neck, playfully, and grins when she looks up at him. He looks at her with that same in-love smile that she’s been seeing since she got back. “Would you like to get out of here in a few?” he says, like Anya’s not on the verge of a total emotional breakdown right next to them.

“I think I wanna see how this show goes,” says Jenny evasively, and turns her attention back to the TV.

Rupert’s not living in his apartment anymore; he sold it back when Buffy was dead. He flinches whenever someone uses the phrase when Buffy was dead, which makes Jenny feel a little guilty when she thinks it, but—Rupert can’t read her thoughts. Small mercies.

Right now, they’re in his hotel room, and they’re probably two buttons, one skirt, and a few more minutes of kissing away from having sex, and Jenny feels absolutely nothing. And she doesn’t like that she feels nothing, because this is the man she loved enough to make her want to live. Like, sure, it was Anya who got Jenny to fight her way back to life, but it was Rupert who made her even consider coming back in the first place.

She thinks about all that time spent studying him across the Magic Box, wanting to know all about him, what he’d become over the last few years. She thinks about how she got a dizzy, breathless rush every time she thought about getting to hold him again. But there’s a hollowness to him that repels her, makes her want to stumble out of the bedroom and never look back.

The thing is, though, Jenny still loves some part of him. She does. When she thinks about the first time she was alive, the way she felt falling in love with him—it’s enough to keep her kissing him now, because she so desperately wants that feeling back.

“I love you,” says Rupert against her collarbone, and finishes with the last two buttons of her blouse, pushing it down her shoulders carelessly. Only a few weeks in and he’s forgotten she was ever dead.

“I love you too,” says Jenny, because she has to. She must have just forgotten how.

Jenny places her hand on the table of the Magic Box and wills it to slip through. Strange how she felt more corporeal when she was a ghost.

“I had to stop by Xander’s place today to pick up some things,” says Anya from next to her, distantly, and Jenny feels the soft, fluttery rush of companionship when she looks up at her friend. She knows she shouldn’t be so happy that Anya’s just as off-balance as she is, but it’s comforting to know that there’s someone else who doesn’t know exactly what they’re doing. “I called ahead and he said he would be out while I was there, to make it easier on him.” She looks up at Jenny, expression impassive, and adds, “You know, I don’t really know if he ever thought about what I wanted. I think he put himself first a lot more than he had a right to.”

Jenny considers this. Then she says, “I think Rupert’s in love with the woman who died,” and god, that hurts to say out loud.

“And you’re not the woman who died?” says Anya, sounding genuinely confused by the concept.

“I don’t know,” says Jenny truthfully. “But I feel like he’s just—” She swallows, hard. “He kisses me like all he wants to do is kiss me,” she says. “And neither of us talk about anything actually substantial, ever, it’s just lots and lots of reunion sex. Like there’s nothing he wants to do but that.”

Anya frowns a little, taking this in. Jenny’s half-expecting her to ask why reunion sex is such a bad thing (Anya has, after all, talked pretty recently and pretty loudly about how she’d really like to get laid some time soon), but then she says, “You know, Giles hasn’t had a serious relationship in the entire time I’ve known him. There was that Olivia thing, plus that one time he hooked up with Ethan again, but I don’t think he’s ever had anything like what he had with you, and I think that that’s really messed him up.” She smiles, a little wobbly. “I know I’ve never had a friend like you,” she says, “because, you know, Hallie and I haven’t really been close since the whole human thing, and that relationship was built on a lot of vengeance and murder anyway, and, and I know I’m messed up. Not having people in your life who you love can really, really mess a person up.”

“Anya,” says Jenny softly, and turns all the way to take Anya’s hands in hers. Anya won’t (can’t?) look at her. “Anya. You’re not messed up.”

“If I was good,” says Anya, “then he wouldn’t have left me.” She sounds near tears. “I don’t even miss him as much as I miss knowing—” Her voice breaks, and she jerks her hands away from Jenny’s to scrub roughly at her face. “I miss knowing that someone loved me,” she said. “I miss knowing that someone wanted me to kiss them for forever.”

Jenny swallows hard. “I miss that too,” she says.

Anya sniffles, finally looking up. “Giles wants that with you, though, doesn’t he?” she asks, sounding half-hopeful, like if she can’t be happy she at least wants Jenny to.

Jenny shakes her head. “He wants someone to kiss,” she says. “And the way I died—I think he thinks his only possible happy ending is with me.”

“That’s stupid,” says Anya decisively. “You should tell him that it’s stupid.”

Jenny thinks about the way Rupert looked as she was leaving his hotel bedroom today, the fragility in his smile. “He’s nearly reached his breaking point,” she says. “I don’t know what’ll happen if I push him any further.”

“Jenny—” Anya looks suddenly very upset by this. “Jenny,” she says. “Jenny, that’s why I stayed with Xander. That’s why I never told him about all the stuff I wanted from him. You can’t do that to Giles or he’ll end up breaking your heart into a million billion pieces and I don’t want your heart broken, I want his heart in pieces on the floor, Jenny, all over the damn floor like fine powder—” And then she really is crying, shoulder-shaking sobs that have her hiding her face in her hands.

Jenny wants to reach out to Anya, but she’s sort of reeling. That is what happened with Xander, isn’t it? Anya shutting herself down because she was just so desperate to keep a half-working relationship functioning in a way that kept both of them kissing.

“But it’s Rupert,” she says, helplessly, softly, “and I love him.”

A particular moment that Jenny remembers when she looks into Rupert’s eyes is the one and only time they left Sunnydale together. It was only a few hours before a supernatural crisis meant they had to go back home, but they made it to a gas station and bought a lot of candy bars and kissed in the sunlight outside Jenny’s car. She wonders if their relationship was always something that could only sustain itself within a certain time frame, within a certain geographic region, within a certain set of variables.

Rupert is lying on the bed when she comes in, staring up at the ceiling like all he’s been doing is waiting for her to come back. Jenny wants to talk to him about politics or art or science or all the things they used to talk about all those years ago, but the words stick in her throat when he looks up at her with that empty affection, smiling at her with unearned adoration. She represents a part of his past that he lost, a part of his future that he wants. She doesn’t know if she can do that anymore.

“I love you,” she says, and she wishes she meant it all the way. Those first few days after Anya’s almost-wedding, she believed it, lost in being close to him again, but the words have fumbled and faded until she’s not sure who she loves anymore. She barely knows this man. He contains someone she loved a very, very long time ago.

“I love you too,” says Rupert, then, “What’s the matter?”

Jenny wants to leave Sunnydale, after, except Anya’s still there and the one concrete thing about this absolute mess is that Jenny absolutely loves Anya, so she drives to Anya’s new apartment. It’s raining, and Anya isn’t home yet, so she slumps against the front door and waits, rain plastering her hair to her face.

There are things she does like about being alive again, like the way rain feels and the way the cold permeates her leather jacket. Even pain is something; it means she’s feeling, and that was something she was deprived of for an intolerably long amount of time. It’s sort of like how people must have felt after color TV was invented, Jenny thinks. Like everything’s just that little bit more real.

Anya comes up with a bag of groceries and sees Jenny, and she gets this horribly sad look on her face that makes Jenny start crying, because shit, Anya really does know her. She feels Anya reach up to hug her very tightly, and then they’re in the warm apartment lobby and Anya’s sitting her down on a couch.

“So,” says Anya. “You and Giles.”

“I think I broke his heart,” says Jenny, and sniffles, not sure whether she’s wiping away tears or rainwater. Both, probably. She was out in the rain for a while.

“You really didn’t,” says Anya. “He hasn’t known you long enough to be heartbroken. Not this you, anyway. He’ll deal.”

“I want to help him—”

“There’s only so much you can do,” says Anya, and the sweetly earnest look in her eyes makes Jenny feel—warm. That’s the simplest way of putting it. “I was with Xander for so long in part because I wanted to believe that some day I’d just magically know the right thing to say, you know? But the truth is, there really isn’t any right thing to say sometimes. Sometimes you just have to leave.”

“I love him so much,” says Jenny, but when she says it, she’s thinking of the Rupert Giles with soft eyes who kissed her nose in the faculty room and held her close in the library.

“You can’t, though,” says Anya, and reaches for Jenny’s hand. “You don’t know him yet.”

“But there’s time,” says Jenny.

“There is,” says Anya. “Now’s not that time.”

Anya has a cat. She hasn’t named it, mostly because it’s an outdoor cat that wanders around in her living room, eats some of the food she puts out for it, and then leaves for weeks on end, but she’s always worried it’ll get eaten by a vampire while it’s out.

“Vampires go for humans,” Jenny reminds her, “and that cat’s scary fast. I don’t think any vampire would be interested in trying to chase it down.”

“Hmm,” says Anya, in a way that means she doesn’t think Jenny knows what she’s talking about, and goes back to baking cupcakes. She’s checked out a bunch of books on cooking from the Sunnydale Memorial Library (everything in this town has memorial tacked on somewhere; it gets depressing real fast), and today her food of choice is Rainbow Cupcakes with Black Frosting. Lots of terrifying dyes involved. Jenny thinks she needs to remind Anya that she’s mortal now.

The doorbell rings. Jenny freezes. She hasn’t seen Rupert since—well—

“That’s not Giles,” says Anya helpfully, and puts down the sugar, crossing the room to open the door. “I think it’s Tara. I asked her to come over.”

This takes Jenny a little by surprise; Anya and Tara aren’t by any means close. “You asked her?”

Tara steps in, holding a small cactus and a bag slung over her shoulder and looking very, very shy. And suddenly Jenny understands why Anya brought Tara into this apartment: there’s the same heavy sadness in Tara’s eyes that Jenny feels in her chest, even though Tara’s giving them both a small smile.

“Hi,” says Jenny, feeling awkward.

“Willow and Tara broke up, recently,” says Anya from next to Tara. “Willow’s getting help. Giles insisted on it. Tara isn’t getting any help, though, so I thought she should come here. Because. You know. None of us are getting help.” With that, she turns and crosses back to the kitchenette, starting again on her cupcakes.

Tara moves past Jenny and places the cactus down on the coffee table. Then she says, “Um, Anya’s using a lot of dye for those cupcakes. There are organic alternatives, you know.”

Jenny thinks she likes Tara. “Do you wanna watch a movie?” she offers. “There might be something good on TV. I don’t know.”

“I think I brought some snacks, actually,” says Tara, and rummages in her bag until she pulls out a small bag of potato chips. “Not a lot, but I was meaning to eat them on the bus over here or something.”

Jenny takes the chips and takes a bite, then laughs a little incredulously. “I like potato chips,” she says. “I’d forgotten.”

It’s such a small, silly thing, but Jenny’s starting to realize that there are so many little nuances to being alive, so many things she’s missed or misplaced or forgotten. Discovering them all again is sweet and wonderful. She likes having the space to do that. She likes that her world no longer condenses to Rupert.

Tara smiles a little like she gets what Jenny’s thinking, then sits down on the couch, bag still on her lap. “TV sounds nice,” she adds. “And you can finish off those potato chips. I can always go get more.”

Jenny and Anya and Tara start doing normal things like going shopping, and going to the park to have a picnic, and going to the animal shelter on pet adoption day. That last one’s mostly Jenny and Tara; Anya seems sort of resentful about even the concept of getting a pet that isn’t her weird little outdoor cat, and glares at all the kittens for a few minutes until Jenny points out that Anya’s not obliged to adopt a cat just by virtue of them being there.

“I know that,” says Anya, glowering, “but now I want to, and it’s your fault!”

When Jenny was alive the first time around, she liked cats more than dogs—all that elegant grace and the reproachful way they looked at you and how cute kittens were. But this time around, she settles herself on the floor with a large dog who’s trying to get to the sandwich in her bag.

“Hi,” she says, tapping the dog’s shoulder like he’s a person. “Hey. That’s kinda mine. Tara made it for me.”

“I think he likes you,” Tara observes.

“Hmm,” says Jenny, trying to sound cool and detached.

“No,” says Anya, swooping in. “No, no, absolutely not, we are not getting any dog who’s going to scare my kitty away whenever it shows up.”

“What’s your cat’s name?” Tara asks, sounding genuinely curious.

“It’s a cat,” says Anya to Tara. “It names itself.”

“I like this dog,” says Jenny, at first to be difficult but then a little bit true. “I could use a dog. Don’t they send puppies around to high schools to relieve stress in some parts of the country?”

“I’ve literally never heard of that happening,” says Anya.

“They could send puppies around to high school to relieve stress,” says Jenny, “and I want a dog.”

“I’m kicking you out of the apartment,” says Anya, and it’s the not-at-all-serious way she says it that makes a smile spread across both of their faces. Like not even Jenny getting a dog would make Anya kick Jenny out of the apartment. Like Jenny and Anya living together is a foregone, comforting certainty, at least for as long as they both need it.

“I hate you,” says Jenny to Anya, and scratches the dog’s shoulders. He licks her face very solemnly, then goes back to trying to get at the sandwich.

“I suppose,” says Anya, “after all we’ve been through, you deserve a pet of some sort.”

“Well, thank you for granting me permission,” says Jenny dryly.

Anya sits down next to Jenny and looks at the dog with a frown. “He kinda reminds me of Oz,” she says. “I didn’t know the guy that well, but the few times I saw him—yeah. That’s an Oz dog.”

“Willow talked about Oz, sometimes,” says Tara, in a too-high voice. The smile on her face has become a bit plastic. “She said—”

Jenny tugs at Tara’s hand, then places it on the dog’s back. Tara lets out this shuddering breath and sits down, focusing in on the dog’s brown-and-white coat. Then she says, “I can see why they’d bring around puppies to high school,” and leans a little on Jenny.

“What happened with Willow?” Jenny asks.

“She erased my mind when she decided I wasn’t agreeing enough with her,” says Tara.

Jenny wishes she could go back to the moment before she knew that that was what Willow Rosenberg had become. The sweet, shy, eager little girl with the big smile, the one who’d brought her flowers to brighten up the room and brought in extra credit work even though she was acing the class— “God,” she says. “When did the people I love become such a damn mess?”

Tara shrugs, head still on Jenny’s shoulder. “I like this dog,” she says. “He’s a good listener.”

Jenny laughs a little wetly and tucks her arm around Tara. Anya throws up her arms in mock exasperation (fine, fine, do what you want, see if I care) and sits down next to the both of them, pulling out a few dog treats from her own bag. “Got them up front,” she says off Jenny and Tara’s startled looks, then, “Shut up,” then, “I’m naming him Saint George.”

“Saint George?” says Jenny.

“He looks like a dragon-slayer of a dog,” says Anya, and bumps Jenny’s shoulder. Saint George eats four treats in one go and then licks Anya’s nose.

So now Jenny has a live-in best friend, another friend who might as well be living-in, and a dog. Which feels a lot better than one hotel-room boyfriend and no dog, all things considered. They haven’t seen the Scoobies in a while, which in its own way is also nice, because Jenny gets the sense that seeing the Scoobies would mean fielding a lot of questions about how, exactly, Jenny thought it was okay to leave Giles, who had missed her for so long and loved her so much. Plus, the whole world-saving thing is kind of a drain. She likes taking it slow.

Anya still has her job at the Magic Box, though the Scoobies don’t stop by all that often. She’s made Jenny and Tara full-time employees, which is actually pretty fun. Though they do get customers, the shop isn’t by any means crowded, so most of the day is spent playing fetch with Saint George, who has a surprising amount of common sense for a dog. He hasn’t once run into a shelf.

“He’s very well-behaved,” says Anya approvingly, “and dogs bring in more customers. We’ve turned a tidy profit over the last few weeks, and I attribute that to him.”

“Don’t let Saint George take all the credit,” says Jenny, and squeezes Anya’s shoulder as she crosses to help a customer with a purchase. “You’re kind of incredible at this.”

Anya really does have a knack for being a businesswoman. She’s gotten incredible at predicting what products will sell and what relics they can afford to toss and stuff like that, and she’s getting a lot better at talking to customers now that no one’s telling her she needs to act human. She’s got an easy, cheerful look in her eyes these days, and that’s probably why there’s a girl who’s come back three days in a row just to talk shyly to Anya about music and books and sapphic poetry.

“Should we tell her?” says Jenny, stepping over to Tara.

“She’ll figure it out,” says Tara, who looks like she wants to start giggling.

“Yes, I do like movies!” says Anya brightly, looking delighted. “I love movies. And you like movies too?”

“Oh, god, that poor girl,” says Jenny, and hides her face in Tara’s shoulder. Tara squeaks a little, pressing her hands to her face and trying her best not to laugh.

“I, I love movies,” says the girl, who has big eyes and a shy smile. “Would you like to go to one with me?”

Anya seems taken aback by the question, but she’s still smiling too. “I’d like that, yes,” she says, “though my hours are a bit busy. Why don’t you stop by my apartment sometime instead and we can have sex instead? It won’t take as long as a movie, and it won’t cost nearly as much either.”

Tara dissolves into hysterical laughter. Jenny raises her head to swat Tara’s shoulder.

The girl starts laughing too, but in a delighted sort of way that bodes very well for Anya. “You’re, like, the most forward person I’ve ever met!” she says.

“Saves time,” says Anya, who looks genuinely happy. “Though I’m still very happy to go to a movie with you.”

Anya and the girl start setting a date, and Jenny turns back to a very amused Tara. “Stop that,” she says, not all that seriously.

“I can’t help it!” Tara giggles. “She’s just—she knows what she wants and she goes for it.”

“It’s admirable, really,” says Jenny, looking back over at Anya, who’s scrawling her number on the girl’s arm.

The bell on the door rings, and Jenny turns, her welcome-to-the-Magic-Box smile bright and warm. It fades immediately when she sees who’s standing there.

“Jenny,” says Rupert awkwardly, a little sadly. He looks heavier, this time around, hollow in a way that isn’t covered up by happiness.

“Hey,” says Jenny. She feels Tara’s protective hand on her shoulder, hears Anya’s footsteps as she crosses to stand next to them.

Rupert nods a little stiffly, then says, “Anya, there’s still some paperwork I need to go over with you, and, and you haven’t sent me my cut of the profit—”

“Because you’re a stupid jerk who made Jenny cry,” says Anya in this scary sort of voice that sounds less petulant-child and more centuries-old-vengeance demon. “And I don’t pay those kinds of people.”

Jenny winces a little. “Anya,” she says, “legally, he is still a part of this business.”

“He can sell his part of this business back to me, though,” says Anya, looking blackly up at Rupert. It isn’t at all a request.

Something hits Jenny, then, something she doesn’t really like. Telling herself she’s okay because she hasn’t seen Rupert, hasn’t even talked to him since that night—isn’t that still just stubbornly refusing to address the elephant in the room? “Rupert,” she says, lightly shaking Tara’s hand off her shoulder, “I’d like to grab a coffee with you.”

“What?” says Rupert.

“What?” says Anya.

“She said she’d like to grab a coffee with him,” says Tara, who seems to at least sort of understand what Jenny’s trying to do. Jenny reaches back over and pulls Tara into a quick hug. She likes this kid. She really does.

“I’d like a coffee,” says Rupert, sort of to himself. “Or maybe tea.”

Jenny pulls back and smooths down Tara’s hair, then turns to Anya. “I’ll be right back, okay?” she says.

“Don’t get back together with him,” says Anya fiercely.

“Not planning on it,” says Jenny, and out of the corner of her eye, she sees Rupert’s face fall. “But this is still a conversation we need to have.”

“I don’t understand it,” says Rupert as soon as they’re sitting at a table together.

“Don’t understand what?” Jenny prompts him.

Rupert swallows hard, then says, “We love each other. Shouldn’t it be that simple?”

Jenny looks at Rupert and finds herself wondering, with a painful twist, what it’d have been like if they’d gotten to grow together. Maybe they’d have ended up growing apart anyway, but—maybe they wouldn’t. And it’s that possibility that really stings. “We haven’t seen each other in years,” she says, “we can’t just jump into being in love when I don’t know who you are anymore.”

Rupert looks like he’s been slapped in the face. “I’m not the man you love,” he says, more a terrified question than a statement.

Jenny frowns a little. “I don’t think it’s that simple,” she says. “I just—I feel like you want to pick up where we left off, and I-I wanna know what I missed.” She tries to smile, but can’t manage it. “Like—what were you up to all these years? What changed? What didn’t?”

Rupert looks blankly up at her, then says, “I was a Watcher all these years, Jenny. I never—you were the first—the only—”

Back when they were first falling in love, that would have made Jenny feel breathlessly special. But she’s wiser, more worn, so she leans across the table to place her hand very briefly over his. When she pulls back, she sees (finally) a tired, sad resignation in his eyes, and that’s enough to make her say, “Maybe we’ll get it right some other time.”

“And that’s—that’s it, then,” says Rupert. His voice catches.

Jenny nods. “Yeah,” she says. “Because I have enough self-respect not to get with a guy who doesn’t know what he wants.”

So that’s it, then. That’s all.

Jenny, exhausted from her coffee with Rupert, gets home, sits quietly down on the sofa, and rests her head on Anya’s shoulder. They watch movies until about two in the morning, at which point they get a phone call from Tara, who’s crying. “They’re kicking me out,” she manages between sobs, “I’m living in a shitty apartment and I can’t even pay the fucking rent,” and they know it’s serious because Tara only ever swears when she’s sad. Never angry—always sad.

So Jenny and Anya and Saint George all pile into Anya’s kinda crappy car, and Anya, looking like she’s about to fall asleep behind the wheel, starts to drive.

“I hate everything lately,” says Anya. “You know, when I saw you and Giles looking at each other at my wedding, I was like, there’s a good happy ending for someone, at least.”

“Happy endings are a myth made to sell cards,” says Jenny, who’s sharing a bag of baby carrots with Saint George.

“You’re so dramatic sometimes,” says Anya. “Never change.” She reaches over with one hand to pat Saint George’s back (he licks her hand) and adds, “And Willow—I liked Willow, kind of. Xander liked Willow, so I liked her. You know. Kind of. But I didn’t ever think she’d do something like that to Tara.”

“Or that the rest of them would stand by her,” says Jenny distantly. Then, “Do you think that maybe we’re the leftovers? That that’s why I couldn’t make things work with Rupert?”

“I think you haven’t had enough sleep or enough time to really start thinking about why things with Giles didn’t work,” says Anya. Belatedly, she adds, “And I think I need to get home and sleep too after we bring Tara back to our place, because I still have that movie date with Claire.”

“Cute Claire from the Magic Box?” says Jenny with interest.

Anya shrugs in a way that’s trying to be nonchalant, but a small smile flits across her face.

“And you like her?”

“I told her I’m just getting out of a serious relationship,” says Anya, “and that I think she’s too cute and friendly to be a rebound thing, so she and I are just friends for now. We did have sex a few times, though. Friends have sex sometimes.”

“Seems reasonable,” says Jenny, mouth twitching. Then she says, “I think Rupert and I started dating too fast.”

“You mean when you came back—”

“I mean originally,” says Jenny. “I just—he was cute, and I thought it could be a casual thing, so I jumped in with the full expectation of getting burned. One of those classic opposites-attract sort of things, because—” She laughs a little bitterly. “I was just so sure we wouldn’t be able to make it work all that long,” she said. “And I was lonely, and he was there.”

Anya pulls the car to a stop outside Tara’s apartment, and they see Tara standing there with maybe two boxes. Something about that makes Jenny’s heart twist in her chest; this girl’s been living in Sunnydale for nearly three years, and all the stuff she owns can fit into two boxes. She wonders how much of Tara’s stuff ended up being Willow’s.

“That really sucks,” says Anya.

“Yeah,” says Jenny. “I think we’d have been really awesome friends if I’d done things right.”

“You still would have ended up dead, though,” Anya points out. “And Giles would still be an idiot. So really, nothing would have changed—” and then she’s cut off because Jenny’s giving her this big hug and trying not to start messy-crying all over her shoulder. “It’s okay, Jenny,” says Anya, and pats Jenny’s head. Jenny laughs a little. “It’s okay.”

Tara crosses over to the car with her two boxes and puts them both in the back. She’s very clearly been crying. “I don’t know how to do this,” she says. “I don’t know how to be all by myself anymore.”

“It’s cool,” says Anya. “Neither does Jenny. She’s like super bad at it.”

“You suck,” says Jenny, sniffling and smiling, and pulls herself back up just as Saint George clambers through the seats to go sit with Tara. That dog seems to have a sort of sixth sense for where he’s needed. Granted, everyone in the car’s kind of a mess right now, but still.

Tara buries her face in Saint George’s fur for a moment, and then starts talking to him in a soft, solemn voice that Jenny can’t make out. She turns back to Anya instead. “Where are we going?” she asks.

“We are going to get burgers,” says Anya. “Then we’re going home.”

Tara nods. Then she says, “I wanna throw up, though.”

“Do you want me to pull over?”

“It’s more of,” Tara waves a hand, resting her head against Saint George’s, “a feeling. Not really something I’m following through on.”

“What happened with the landlord?” Jenny asks.

Tara sighs. Then she says, “He upped the rent when he learned I’d gotten a steady job.”

“Shit,” says Jenny.

“That’s kind of fucked up,” says Anya, and reaches back over her shoulder to squeeze Tara’s hand. “But hey, you can live with us in our teensy apartment!”

“I don’t know about that,” says Jenny, frowning. Off Anya’s look, she hastily clarifies, “Of course I don’t mean Tara can’t live with us, I just mean—two people and a dog in a one-bedroom apartment was already kind of a stretch, but three people’s going to be way too much to handle.”

“Hmm,” says Anya, in her Thoughtful-Businesswoman voice that means she’s got a very good idea and she’s about to start imparting it. “I think we should start a fundraiser.”

“A fundraiser,” says Tara a little doubtfully.

“Yes!” Anya’s beaming, now. “One hundred percent of all proceeds for the next two weeks go towards us all getting some kind of an actual house, with, like, bedrooms and things, and maybe a nice backyard so Saint George can run around and chase squirrels. It’s a completely foolproof plan.”

But Jenny’s frowning, all of a sudden. Much as she loves the Magic Box, there’s something she really hates about them all staying tethered to Sunnydale, a place that broke Anya’s heart, warped Tara’s mind, and quite literally killed Jenny. “No,” she says. “No, I have a better idea.”

“Moving the Magic Box to San Francisco?” says Xander, bursting into the store when Jenny’s polishing orbs. “You’ve gotta be kidding me, Anya. This is a nasty stunt to pull. This was Giles’s place way before yours—”

Anya looks up at Xander, cold and quiet, and says, “You haven’t spoken to me in nearly two months, Xander. Is this what it takes for you to finally check in?”

“So that’s why you’re doing this, huh?” Xander demands. “Out of spite? You know how cut up Giles is already about—” here he gestures to Jenny like he can’t even look at her, “and now here you are pulling this shit? That’s low even for you, Anya—”

“Hey,” says Jenny loudly. This startles Xander so much that he steps back into a display and nearly sends it crashing down to the ground (he would have, too, if Tara hadn’t been quick enough to steady it). “You wanna tell us more about the girl you haven’t checked up on in two months? You feel like telling us what she’s thinking when you never bothered to listen?”

Xander falters, mouth trembling. Then he says, “Ahn, I’m sorry.”

“Fuck you,” says Anya primly, and goes back to writing shipping orders.

“I didn’t want to hurt you—”

“You wouldn’t have pulled away so completely if you didn't,” says Anya.

“You dropped off the goddamn face of the earth!” Xander snaps. “You didn’t let me— I gave you all the space you needed, but you never came back, and—” His voice breaks. “I love you,” he says. “I’m so sorry. I—Anya, I just wasn’t ready.”

“I don’t want to be with someone who’d propose to me at the end of the world and not follow through,” says Anya. “That isn’t brave and it isn’t fair to either of us.” She doesn’t sound as angry, now. Just resigned, and sort of tired.

“You can leave now, Xander,” says Jenny.

“Like I’m going to listen to you,” says Xander, looking at her with cold, hard eyes, and that’s when Jenny knows for certain that the only worth she holds to the Scoobies, now, is the worth she once held to Giles. “He’s drinking, you know,” Xander adds, “won’t talk to anyone but Buffy, and even that’s a toss-up most of the time.”

“I can’t help him,” says Jenny, and suddenly it’s Buffy’s junior year all over again. Straight face, biting her lip to keep from saying something she’ll regret or bursting into tears or both. “I can’t be the magical solution to his problems.”

“That’s why you came back,” says Xander fiercely. “That’s why you’re here now. He deserves someone in his life—”

All of a sudden, Tara’s got this quietly furious look in her eyes as she steps around the display she’s been holding steady, looking up at Xander with such a terrifying expression that he actually takes a step back. “No one,” she says, “is entitled to any of us, Xander. We’re not someone’s prize, and we’re not anyone’s leftovers. Do you understand that?”

And Jenny thinks something about that resonates with Xander, because all of a sudden he looks almost guilty. “Giles wanted me to come talk you out of this,” he said. “He didn’t say it, but I know he wants you to stay.” That part’s mostly for Jenny. “And I know I want you to stay.” That part’s definitely for Anya.

“It’s not your choice to make,” says Jenny.

Xander nods, then nods again, off-balance and wobbly like he’s a bobble-head doll, and then he turns around and half-stumbles out of the Magic Box. Jenny watches him go with a twisting feeling in her stomach, and then she presses her hand to her mouth and utters a single choked sob.

“Shit,” says Tara quietly.

“I wish I remembered how to be vengeful,” says Anya, distant and dispassionate. “I used to murder people in their beds for less than what he did to me, you know, and I used to love it, but I have nightmares about it now. I wish I could just step back into being—being some kind of a monster. Things were so much easier then.”

“Monsters don’t love,” says Tara.

“Double-edged sword,” says Jenny.

It’s worse when Willow comes around. They’ve nearly packed up the Magic Box when she shows up, looking sweet and unassuming and utterly heartbroken. If this was a daytime TV show, Jenny thinks, the viewers would probably be on Willow’s side, because Tara’s face is hard as stone.

“Tara,” says Willow. Her voice breaks, her eyes full of tears. “Baby, please. Please come back to me.”

Tara’s mouth trembles and her hands shake. Jenny wants to step up in the way she did for Anya, but she still doesn’t know Tara well enough to know how to even begin to help.

“Tara, baby, we were happy,” says Willow, and sniffles. “We were so happy, just—”

“You can’t do that,” says Tara. “I decide whether or not I was happy. Not you.”

Willow looks helplessly up at her, sniffling, and says, “I just wanted us to be happy. I just wanted that. Don’t you want that too?”

Holy fucking shit, Jenny thinks, Willow went off the deep end while I was gone. God, if Rupert let this happen, she’s glad they’re not anywhere near each other anymore.

Tara’s looking at Willow with this half-sad expression. “You know I didn’t love the magic in you, Willow,” she says. “I loved the way you used it. I loved the way you took so much delight in learning and growing and being happy, and I loved the way you looked at the world. I loved you so much, and you took my love and you twisted it to breaking.”

“Tara—”

“You told me to shut up,” says Tara. “So many people have told me to shut up. You were the first person I trusted to listen, and you silenced me. Do you know what that does to a person? Do you know how scared I was to know the one person I trusted could break me so completely?”

Willow’s crying now, real tears that have her shaking where she stands. “I know I messed up,” she sobs. “I just want to fix it!”

“Willow,” says Tara. “If anyone decides whether we’re fixed, it’s me.”

Maybe it’s something of a defense mechanism, but Jenny’s already thinking about the plane ride out of Sunnydale, wondering if Saint George will be okay in an aircraft carrier. He’s a smart dog, she thinks. He’ll be okay if they give him that squeaky toy he really likes.

Willow falls against the wall, sobbing. “I can’t lose you,” she’s saying. “I don’t know who I am without you.”

“You’re smart, Willow,” says Tara, not unkindly. “You’ll figure it out.” She steps around Anya, who’s frozen in this half-afraid, tense position behind the register, holding onto a fistful of money like it’s a lifeline, and she crosses the room to stand next to Jenny. “But right now I think I need to ask you to leave, and I think you need to be able to respect that.”

“I can’t find myself again without you—”

“I did,” says Tara, “and I’m the one we both thought wasn’t brave enough, so I think you can too.”

Willow looks up at Tara with this last-ditch, desperate smile, like she thinks maybe Tara’ll change her mind if she makes her face soft enough, makes herself vulnerable. There’s this thing Jenny heard Rupert say once, long ago, about how some of the people who cause lasting harm very often believe that they’re doing the exact right thing, about how those people are the ones that are hardest to dissuade and fend off.

“Willow,” says Jenny, and pulls out her teacher voice, the one she used to use on students who wouldn’t listen. “Back off.”

Willow’s eyes glint, and Jenny sees something old and dangerous buried behind the anguish. Then she turns and leaves.

Immediately after she’s gone, Tara collapses inward, sobbing so violently that she can no longer stand. Anya catches her awkwardly, pulling her into a clumsy hug, and Jenny all but runs over to join them, pulling Tara close.

“I love her so much,” Tara sobs. “So much. I want it to stop.”

“I know,” says Anya, her voice shaking. “But we’re going to be okay.”

Rupert is the last one to show up in their lives, and he barely makes it. He shows up the night before they’re slated to leave, buzzing their apartment, and Jenny debates whether to let him in before deciding, well, this is probably her thing to deal with, so she should go and deal with it. She pulls herself up from the air mattress on the living room floor and heads down three flights of stairs in a bathrobe and slippers, lugging Saint George in her arms, because when push comes to shove he really is her dog. He’s occupying himself with chewing at her bathrobe. It’s weirdly comforting.

Rupert looks a little surprised that she even came down. He’s unshaven, bleary-eyed, wearing pajamas himself, and he’s done a piss-poor job of parking his car outside.

“You look like shit,” says Jenny bluntly. She’s had enough of old lovers to last a lifetime, even though none of them have been hers up to this point.

“Jenny,” says Rupert. “I just wanted to say—good luck. Wherever you’re going.”

And just like that, Jenny knows they’re going to find each other again. She does. Because Rupert looks tired and worn, but he gets it. Took you long enough, she wants to say, but she’s just so wrung-out and sad that she puts down Saint George and hugs Rupert a little awkwardly. Somehow, even though they don’t really fit together anymore, she feels closer to him than she has for a very, very long time. “I love you,” she says, and means it all the way this time.

“I love you too,” says Rupert. His voice catches as they look at each other.

Jenny smiles a little. “Guess the guy I loved isn’t all gone,” she says, and lets her forehead fall to rest against his, just for a moment.

“Not gone,” says Rupert, “just a bit lost. And you’re right. I won’t find the better parts of myself if I assume it’s your job to help me.”

“Yeah,” says Jenny. “I’m gonna miss this fucked-up town, a little.”

“I’ll visit,” says Rupert. “In a month or two.”

“I like that.” Jenny smooths down the collar of Rupert’s pajama shirt. The top he’s wearing is one she remembers, but the bottoms aren’t, and something about that makes her feel strangely comforted. Some things change, some things stay the same. C’est la vie, as the French say. “I think at least a few months would be good for both of us,” she says. “I think we both need time.”

“I do too,” says Rupert. “Frankly, I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m quite a mess.”

That makes Jenny laugh. “Damn straight,” she says. “Okay. I need to go up and get some sleep. I have a flight tomorrow.”

“All right,” says Rupert.

But they stay in each other’s arms for a few moments more, because the soft warmth of a long-forgotten connection is something that’s damn hard to walk away from. It’s the right call to leave Sunnydale, she knows, for herself and Anya and Tara alike, because she and Rupert still don’t really know how to love each other the right way. They need to figure themselves out before they can fall in love again.

“Maybe I’ll ask you out in a few months,” says Rupert.

“Maybe I’ll say yes,” says Jenny, and pulls away, letting her hands drop. She picks up Saint George and heads back up to her tiny home, with Anya asleep in the bedroom and Tara asleep on the couch. He stands there, watching her go.

Anya snores on the plane. Tara puts in headphones and pretends she isn’t annoyed, but her mouth does this little twitchy thing every time Anya snorts. Jenny, who may or may not have been in the midst of a vaguely explicit dream involving Rupert before being woken by Anya, is much less subtle.

“Anya,” she says. “Anya.”

“Shh,” says Tara, taking out her headphones, even though it’s clear she agrees with the sentiment. “She’s had a rough few days, she needs her sleep.”

“We all need sleep!” says Jenny indignantly. “And when your ex-boyfriend’s feeding you chocolate-covered strawberries in your dream—”

“Lesbian,” says Tara.

“—then you can talk to me about a rough few days—oh, yeah, lesbian. Gotta stop mixing my comparisons.” Jenny lies back in her chair, still a little annoyed about the interruption. Then she says, “You think we’ll ever really see them again?”

Tara shrugs a little. “I know you and me and Anya are all going to see each other,” she says, and she has this little smile on her face when she says it. “That’s a pretty good deal, all things considered.”

Jenny considers this. Then she says, “I hope Anya’s apartment cat does okay while we’re gone.”

Tara starts giggling. “You hypocrite,” she says, “you always gave Anya so much grief about worrying about that cat, and now it’s you who’s worried—”

“I’m just saying—”

Anya snorts again, then jerks awake, a half-terrified look in her eyes. “We’re flying?” she says uneasily. “I don’t like—I mean, we’re so high up, what if something—”

Jenny reaches over and takes Anya’s hand in hers. Now seems like the time to say something appropriately sentimental, one that’ll make Anya smile, but all she can come up with is, “We’re gonna be fine, probably.”

And for some reason, Anya relaxes at this. “I like probably,” she says. “Means there’s room for different outcomes. Depending on finality always seems to get me hurt as of late.”

Jenny thinks about how there’s a possibility Rupert might visit her in a year or so, a changed man, and sweep her off her feet and into the happy ending they both want deep down. She thinks about how there’s a possibility he might visit her in one week with that desperate, determinedly happy look in his eyes and not listen to a word she has to say unless it’s I love you. She thinks about how there always are a few loose threads in any ending, no matter how neatly one tries to wrap things up.

“I think that’s a good philosophy,” she says.

#fic #jenny calendar #tara maclay #light of my life anya jenkins #i'd tag this as calendiles but like.....overall it's really not #anyway please read this i know it's not shippy but i am so proud of it

36 notes · View notes