#<- we're getting to a point in time where i am disagreeing with my friend on dw things sooo

[go-to-the-mirror]

"The Day of the Doctor" was fun characterisation-wise, it had great moments, it was generally quite a fun thing to watch and it made me feel emotions. Especially when Nine appeared, I'm normal about Nine.

"The Day of the Doctor" was also really shitty. What's the point of a dead planet if you bring it back? What's the point of Nine saying he saw the Daleks burn if he didn't? What's the point of the Daleks going to destroy the universe, and the Time Lords going to destroy the universe, if you don't acknowledge the threat the Time Lords posed to the universe? What the fuck do you mean they would kill each other with their own crossfire?

#the day of the doctor #episode: the day of the doctor #doctor who #doctor who crit #<- we're getting to a point in time where i am disagreeing with my friend on dw things sooo #steven moffat #<- he wrote it and deserves my ire #my lonely rambles

[dirtybitfic]

Here for a good time not a long time

Matt Sturniolo X y/n

contains - party , drinking , smutt, dom matt, choking, slapping, dirty talk, pet names(sweetheart, baby, slut, whore)

Y/n pov-

I was sitting in my last lecture of the day when I got a text from my friend about a party in the woods tonight. I obviously agreed to go since I had nothing else to do tonight .

Once my boring ass professor ended class I drove back to my house that I share with my best friend and two other friends . I entered into pure chaos the second I opened the door.

Hey y/n how was class my best friend Ally said as I set my bag down

Boring as always ... what the fuck is going on in here I ask as I look around to see clothes scattered across the furniture and my other friend Mara running from her room back to the bathroom .

We're all trying to find outfits for tonight and we're stressing out she answers as I see her pull out mouse ears.

What... why and what are the ears for? I ask in pure confusion. Its never calm in this house but this is a whole new level of chaotic.

Oh did you not see the theme for the party Mara says as she comes out dressed like a bunny .

No what is it ? I ask as I start to panic knowing I probably have nothing to wear either.

Predator and prey ... girls are supposed to dress as the prey obviously she says pointing to her outfit doing a little spin.

Fuck ... I definitely don't have an outfit for this shit I sigh as I walk to my room deciding to look through my closet.

I looked through and found an outfit that could work .

Okay guys what about this outfit I can be a deer? I ask nervously hoping they'd like it .

Ally , Mara and haley look at me studying me making me nervous.

You know what I like it Haley says as she smiles

Yeah me to mara says as she nods in approval.

Wait I think I might actually have deer antlers you can wear Ally says as she scrambles to her room.

Im questioning why she would own antlers but you know what they are coming in handy so Im happy about it.

Okay yep here they are she says as she hands them to me .

Thanks but why do you even have these I ask as I put them on.

Oh I went as a deer to a halloween party freshman year and just never got rid of them she answers with a smile before pouring herself a shot.

Ally was a bunny, Mara was a mouse and Haley was a sheep .

I honestly don't know what to expect with this party tonight since the fraternity thats throwing it is more on the bad boy side . Almost every guy in this group is covered in tattoos and peircings which I find hot as fuck but some others disagree. These guys's parties compared to the other frats are always out of the ordinary but thats what keeps things interesting.

Okay guys we got like 20 minutes before we need to get going haley says as she starts pouring herself a drink.

We turn on some music and dance around in the living room as we take shots and sip on drinks.

The 20 minutes rolled by quickly and we are all now making our walk to the woods for there party. I know having party in the woods might sound weird but its actually pretty fun here. Our college is located in outside of a city in Pennsylvania meaning we're surrounded by woods.

Guys I don't know why but i'm getting a very weird feeling Mara says as we start getting closer to the woods .

Im glad you said that cause ... I am to Ally says in a slightly wobbly tone.

Guys we're fine we drank a lot so maybe its just the alcohol I say trying to reason with how they're feeling

They all laugh and agree with me after realizing how drunk we really are.

We finally reach the opening path that leads down a dark trail to where the party clearing is .

We all take out our phone using our flashlights to see as we stumble into trees and each other giggling .

The closer we get music begins to flood our ear and light from the campfire comes into view.

We enter the clearing entering the crowd of people and making our way over to the line of tree stumps you can sit on by the fire.

We all sit down and take a look around to see all the guys in black hoodies and sweats holding animal masks. Predator animal masks making me gulp. I start to get a weird feeling when the leader of the frat stands on a big tree stump and yelling for everyone to pay attention.

We all go quiet as we wait of him to speak.

Okay you're all probably wondering about the theme right? he asks with a large smirk . All of the girls nod since all of the guys obviously know .

well we decided it would to change things up and ... play a little game she says as he jumps down from the stump smirking and looking around the crowd at all of our confused faces.

Another guy jumps up and I have to keep my jaw from dropping. He is the most attractive man i've ever seen , Tall with blue eyes and brown hair . I stand there in a trance until I snap out of it as he starts to speak

As you can see all of you girls are dressed and animals of prey he says moving his hand motioning to the crowd . Me and my friends share glances sharing looks of annoyance just wanting him to get to the fucking point.

and us guys all have masks of predator animals he says holding up his mask . I look at his mask noticing it's a wolf .

he smiles as he meets eyes with me making me gulp.

We will be matching a girl to a guy based on their natural predator and prey ... and you girls will be given 10 minutes to run and hide and if you are found by your predator we will be mmm let's just say our way with you . he says smirking .

So i'll give any of you girls the chance to leave right now if you do not wish to play this game . There is no shame in leaving I understand this might not be some peoples taste and thats okay I can see a glimmer in his eye as he watches me waiting to see if i'll leave .

I look over at my friends who look apprehensive about the situation.

I don't know about this guys mara says as she turns to look at the way we came in .

Yeah I just... this is not what I was expecting I mean... they obviously mean sexual shit and I don't think I want that haley says as she steps closer to mara.

Me and ally look at each other with a knowing look silently agreeing were staying.

We're gonna stay i'm kind of intrigued about how this will go but we understand if you wanna go I answer and smile at them letting them know we aren't judging them for wanting to leave.

okay well we'll see you guys at home okay be safe please

just text us when your on your way home so we know your alive

we will see you guys at home love you ally answers and I say I love you before they head back down the path we entered through.

About 15 other girls left leaving only about 20 of us left.

Okay now that all the pussys are gone lets get started matching up and then ill explain the rules he says with a wide smile that sends chills down my back.

Me and Ally laugh at the fact he called the girls who left pussys and waited for him to continue.

Okay james , Max and Atlas are fox so any of you who are a bunny raise your hand .Ally raises her hand as do two other girls .

Ally is Matched with the guy who's name is Atlas . I have to say he's hot as fuck he has tan skin covered in tattoos, sandy blond hair and light green eyes. I smile at her nervously as she stands next to him.

He gets through everyone else before i'm the last girl unmatched.

You're with me sweetheart he says as he smirks at me motioning me to him . I gulp as I slowly make my way to him.

I step up to his side and notice how significantly taller he is then me .

he looks down at me smirking then looks back at the crowd .

so here are the rules he says as his hand snakes around my side pulling me closer making my breathe hitch. All you girls will have ten minutes to run and hide ... after those ten minutes we will make our way out to try and find you . When we find you we will be able to do anything we want to you ... sexually . Im guessing everyone of you who stayed understood what I was insinuating but just do be safe I need you to confirm to your partner that we have your consent before start the timer.

I watch as the other girls turn and nod smiling giving consent

I swallow thickly as I look up at him and he smiles down at me .

so do I have your consent he asks as he bends down a bit to be closer to my face

yes you have my consent I say with a smile

just so I can gage what you like real quick ... do you like things rough and hard or soft and slow he whispers in my ear making me whimper .

mm rough and hard I say as a smirk plays on my lips . He groans as he looks into my eyes.

Good thats music to my ears he smirks as he stand back to his full height

wait ... I don't even know your name I say softly making him look back down at me .

Its matt and what's yours he asks

Y/n I smile back

Beautiful name he smiles down at me making me blush

Thank you Matt I say and then he turns back to the crowd starting to speak again.

Okay ladies step up behind the stump and stand at the tree line he says . He looks down at me smiling and taps my Sade then let's go letting me make my way to the tree line . Me and Ally stay next to each other .

She grabs my hand and I look at her

We run together okay and then well split apart when we find a good spot to hide she says obviously knowing were both scared of the dark and neither of us want to run alone in the dark ass woods.

Agreed its dark as fuck out there I say motioning to the woods were about to enter.

Okay i'm going to count down from three ... you guys ready? he asks and I look back at him nodding .

3... 2...1! he yells and we all take off going in different directions.

Me and Ally and running getting smacked left and right by tree branches and plants . The moon light is enough to let us see a little bit but not enough to avoid getting smacked by shit around us.

Hold up i'm getting tired lets slow down for one second I say as we slow to a fast paced walk as were both breathing hard.

God it got kinda cold she says and she shivers

yeah my nipples could literally cut through this shirt right now I say making us both laugh .

after catching our breathe we start sprinting again .

why are we running 10 minutes is actually a lot of time ally says out of breathe again.

okay you actually have a good point I say back as I slow my pace but smack my side into a tree making me cry out in pain.

Fuck fuck oh my god that actually really hurt I cry but also cant stop laughing

thats gonna leave a nasty bruise ally laughs making me laugh harder.

One thing about me and ally is we can never be serious any any situation .

We should definitely start trying to find somewhere to hide ally says as she realizes we probably don't have much time left . We start walking until ally finds a large fallen tree to sit behind .

Im gonna go closer to the cliff seems like a safe spot I tell her before hugging her wishing her good luck.

I make my way through the woods following the sounds of water . One thing I love about this part of Pennsylvania is the cliffs something about them is just so beautiful especially at night.

I finally make in to the cliff side and find a large rock to sit in front of and sit quietly looking out at the sky . The full moon shining down as the starts beam around the dark sky . It's so beautiful I almost forget why i'm out here.

Im snapped out of the trance i'm in when I hear a girl scream in the distance making my entire body jolt.

The tension is slowly building as I sit . My heart is starting to race and my legs shake a bit causing leaves under then to shake a bit making me grab the trying to stop them from making any noise that can be detected.

I try and control my breathing to slow my heart when I hear branches snap close by and leaves rustling as someone or something .

the rustling gets closer and I hold my breathe when all of the sudden a red fox appears next to me only a couple inches away.

It looks at me as if its curious I so badly want to reach my hand out and pet it but I choose not too since I don't exactly want to get bitten and end up in a hospital with I don't even know what.

I watch carefully as it inches closer to me sniffing the air i'm guessing it is picking up my scent. It steps even closer not right by my leg its tail grazing my skin tickling me making me want to laugh but I hold it back so I one don't get found and to not scare the fox.

It makes noise almost as if its laughing scaring me a little bit but it rubs on my shoes shocking the absolute fuck out of me because its obviously wild but I let it happen .

I whisper hi baby in the softest voice as It looks back at me but runs away when it hears a deep voice say " hello" making me jump up with a scream.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST" I yell as my hand flys over my heart and I bend over panting.

He walks closer making me look back up at him .

I would say i'm sorry for scaring you but... I'm not Matt says with a dark smirk making me gulp .

he steps closer making me back into the rock I had been hiding behind.

your so beautiful sweetheart he whispers to me as his hand slides up my arm making me shiver and whisper a thank you.

come with me he says as he grabs my hand leading me back into the woods.

we walk until we find another clearing where another part of the cliff side is with a much flatter surface.

we walk around a tree and their was a blanket layer out on the rocky ground making me smile and look at him.

I just thought I would make it a little more comfortable than fucking you on a jagged rock or against a tree he says with a shrug

I appreciate that I say with a smile

The sweet moment is gone in second when his large hand wraps around my throat and he pulls me into him as his lips hover by my ear sending shiver down my spine.

im going to make you feel really good sweetheart does that sound good to you he whispers in a deep gravely tone making me whimper as his grip tightens on my neck .

I nod my head answering in a shake out of breathe tone y-yes

mm good girl he says as his lips attach to mine is a deep lustful kiss that has me moaning into his mouth.

his free hand comes to my head pulling off my antlers and throwing them down onto the ground then its on my ass grabbing it roughly making me whimper.

he pulls away as he looks into my eyes with a smirk on his face that has my pussy clenching around nothing.

strip he says in a gravelly voice making me immediately tear off my top and skirt leaving me in only a thong the cold air making me shiver and my nipples to literally harden so much they feel like rocks.

god your perfect he groans as he takes in my figure making me feel nervous .

He smiles at me as he pulls me to him again then walking us back to the blanket and slowly lays me down .

I groan when my back hits a sharp rock thats under the blanket

he slowly lowers himself to be between my thighs as his fingers loops around the band of the thong and slowly pulls them off setting it a side .

So wet for me he groans as he takes in the view of my glistening entrance.

I gasp when is mouth meets my pussy and he licks and sucks expertly in all the right spots .

f-fuck oh my god I whine as my legs start to tremble slightly from the pleasure i'm in.

yeah that feel good he asks before going right back to it.

ugh fuck yes I cry out as he sucks on my clit and slips a finger into my entrance heightening the pleasure more than I ever thought possible.

I grab onto his hair pulling it making him groan into me causing me to moan loudly and buck my hips.

fuck -fuck oh m-my g--od i moan and gasp as I feel my orgasm getting closer.

come on slut cum for me I can feel you pulsing he says into my pussy as he sucks harder and his finger speeds up making my legs shake harder and I cry out as my orgasm rips through me and my juices flow out onto his finger and he laps them up easing me through my orgasm.

i'm honestly shocked he made me finish most guys cant especially not from head but that was fucking amazing .

fuck you're really good at that I pant as he comes up and hovers over me as his chain dangles in my face.

yeah? he asks in a teasing tone making me flush red .

mhm I say as I look into his eyes and move my hands to the base of his shirt tugging signaling I wanna take it off . He lets me slide it off and I put it beside us as my hands run down his warm skin.

he groans as his hands glide over my bare body making me sigh in contentment. His hands move to his belt as he unbuckles it and sets it aside than slips his pants off . I watch in awe of the way his muscles move as he undresses the rest of the way.

My eyes shift down to the large bulge in his boxers making me gulp . He's big like really fucking big . He notices by unease and grabs my chin making me look at him.

You'll be okay I promise he soothe me as his thumb traces my bottom lip. I nod at his statement taking a deep calming breath.

He slides his boxers down as his dick slaps his stomach and my eye widen I know this is gonna hurt like a bitch. Don t get me wrong i've had sex just not with anyone this big before.

He spits on the tip and for some reason its the hottest thing i've ever seen . I watch as he he spread it around then he comes back over me as his tip meet my entrance.

You good he asks waiting for my answer before he makes a move to put it in.

I nod my head

words baby he says in a sweet tone making me blush.

ye-yes i'm good I answer

he nods as his tip slides in making me suck in a breathe.

he not only long but also thick .

Fuck so fucking tight he groans as he pushes into me more.

I whimper at the stretching feeling and my eyes squeeze tightly shut.

I know sweetheart I know im going as slow as I can he says .

After a couple long painful seconds he's bottomed out . Over never felt so full in my life. He starts to slowly thrust in and out making me whine and put my hand on his chest pushing him away .

He grabs my hand and holds it down by my head.

I know it hurts but do not push me away he says in a assertive tone making me immediately apologize .

He continues thrusting slowly and the pain finally goes away and I cant help the moans that escape my mouth.

fuck oh my - f-faster please I whine and he immediately does what I ask.

His tip hits my g-spot with each thrust making me cry out repeatedly

fuck you think you can handle it rough hmm he asks in a breathy tone that has my eyes rolling back and my back arching.

I nod my head and he grabs my throat roughly .

use your words when I ask you a question y/n he growls making me moan.

y-yes fuck I can handle it I moan as my stomach starts to feel pressure signaling another orgasm is close.

He starts pounding me rough and hard making me scream out.

OH FUCK M-MATT I scream as my hands move to his back and my nails drag down making him groan and pound me even harder.

such a good fucking whore taking me so well he groans as he lightly slaps me making me cry out.

My legs start shaking and I cant help but scream his name as I cum around him . His pace doesn't slow one bit he continues pounding into me making me smack his bicep repeatedly .

f-fuck I c-cant I whine as my hands come to his stomach as I try to push him away.

he slaps me making me cry out in pain .

Put your fucking hands down he growls and I move them reluctantly .

good girl now take it he groans as one of his hands move to my clit rubbing fast circles making me scream . My hands move as I go to grab his wrist but I stop myself knowing hell just get mad.

you're gonna cum for me again like a good little slut he says as he angles his hips to perfectly hit my g spot making my entire body tremble .

n-no I cant I whine as tears well up in my eyes from how over stimulated i'm becoming from the overwhelming pleasure i'm in .

No ... oh sweetheart your gonna need to learn to do what I tell you too he says as he grips my throat roughly and swiftly lifts my legs onto his shoulder moving his body fully over mine so my legs are pressed into my chest.

He pounds into me so roughly i scream and my hips lift off my ground completely . He just grabs my waist continuing to pound me into oblivion .

I scream as another orgasm rips through me and my hearing goes out as my body shakes and my hands fist .

Good girl thats it he groans as he fucks me through my orgasm and my hips fall back to the ground .

He pulls out and flips me over onto my hand and knees .

Arch your back for me baby he says as his hands moves over my ass cheeks giving them a squeeze.

I arch the best I can and he shoves back into me making me gasp and bounce back into him.

He slaps my ass enough time to leave hand prints on each cheek .

he grabs my hips and pounds into me harder making me scream and my hand flys back to grab his wrist .

FUCK FUCK SO FUCKING DEEP I scream as he hits so deep I can feel him bulging inside of me .

yeah you feel how deep I am he asks in a dark tone as one of his hands moves to my lower stomach and presses onto where hes bulging in me making me cry out .

Im moaning and shaking under him as I bury my face in the blanket .

who's fucking pussy is this he ask as he slaps my ass .

I croak out a "yours" but with my face buried in the blanket he didn't hear it.

He grabs me by my hair pulling my face up .

who pussy is this he demands in a deep raspy tone

yours I whimper out

louder slut

Y-YOURS IT YOURS I scream out as I cum all over his dick again and my legs give out and they shake uncontrollably .

He move with me continuing to pound into me rough and deep.

Thats right all fucking mine he groans as he starts to loose his rhythm .

I know he getting close and I couldn't be more happy about it . Im so overstimulated I cant even form words anymore . Im whimpering and gasping as his his start too sputter and he groans loudly .

Fuck gonna fucking fill this pussy up he groans as he grips my hair tighter .

F-fuck p-please I whine as I push my ass into him .

yeah you want me to breed this little pussy he groans as his dick twitches and his breathing becomes loud .

I clench around him from his words nodding my head over and over

y-yes yes fuck please I want it so bad.

oh fuck he groans as him hips snap into me and I feel his cum filling me up.

He slowly thrusts a couple time before sliding out and flopping beside me on the blanket.

Our breathing is heavy and loud both exhausted from the events.

Wow that was the best sex- ive ever had he says with a smile as he looks over at me .

Same that was so fucking good I say as I smile back at him.

we lay catching our breathes looking at each other smiling.

Its fucking cold I say making him laugh

Yeah it is he agrees as he grabs his boxers and throwing them on.

He rolls me over as he uses his shirt to shirt to wipe me clean making me smile.

He helps me get my outfit back on then pick me up as I keep the blanket wrapped around me .

Piggy back? he asks making me laugh .

I nod my head . My legs are not working so well right now .

He bends down and I hop on as I wrap my arm around him making the blanket now cover both of us .

he starts walking back to where we started as I rest my head in the crook of his neck .

I need you to know that your mine now there is no way i'm letting you go after tonight he says making me smile .

I think I could be okay with that I say placing a small his on his neck making him smile

good he says back as we walk out of the woods and back into the area with the logs and campfire still burning .

I spot ally and dear god she's been though it . Her hair is disheveled her makeup smudged everywhere and she's wearing the guys sweatshirt .

wait go over to ally she's my friend I tell Matt and he immediately heads over to her .

He sets me down next to her and she smiles at me .

Jesus you look like shit she jokes with me making me laugh.

I could say the same to you I joke back as we giggle .

You going home or... she asks smiling at me

I down know... am I I ask looking at Matt next to me

he smiles before answering

yeah ... but with me he smirks as I blush and look at ally who's already smiling ear to ear.

well then I guess I will see you tomorrow ?

mhm I smile as I shake my head

she gives me a hug as she says bye .

Me and Matt make our way back to through the path out of the woods and he leads me to a white convertible mustang .

wow nice fucking car I say as he opens the door for me

thank you he says as he helps me in the car then shuts the door and gets in starting up the car then starting a playlist and pulls out of the spot and onto the road.

1.23.23 by Dominic like plays as we drive though the dark night streets and after a couple minutes we pull up to a gate and he presses a button and it opens .

I watch as light posts pass by up a long driveway up to a large house actually mansion . He parks behind a fountain in the middle of the circular driveway.

He Gets out and comes to open my door .

We make our way up to the large front door as he uses his key to unlock it .

come on gorgeous I think we both need a hot shower he says leading me up a long grand stair case then another one to the 3rd floor .

We make it all the way down the hallways to a large door at the end .

He uses another key to unlock this door and make his way in with me following behind .

My jaw drops as I look around at the huge room .

damn this is nice as fuck I say as I walk around taking in the surroundings .

yeah its a bit... extra but im not complaining .

shit I wouldn't complain either I mean your room is the size of my entire apartment

he laughs as he leads me to the bathroom

he starts the shower and helps me undress then undresses himself .

We take a hot ass shower and he rises me down . I smell like man but I don't care i'm just sappy I'm clean and warm .

After the shower he puts me in one of his sweatshirts and we get into bed .

We lay their cuddling as he plays with my hair . I start to drift in and out as he kisses my forehead and I smile as I nuzzle into his chest more .

good night little deer he say as I fade into sleep .

This is for the anon who requested another story like my other one Hallowseve.

Sorry this took so long I had so much shit going on these past weeks

💋❤️

Taglist- ( If anyone wants to be added to the tallest please let me know I never know if some people only wanted to be tagged in specific series I was writing or like for every story I write so just let me know)

@junnniiieee07 , @riasturns , @lexisecretaccx

#matt sturniolo #smut #fanfiction

[spinjitsuburst]

ramble about ur favs i wanna hear abt ur thoughts -zaptrap

HAN’S INFODUMPING ABOUT JAY... START!!!!

so like sgdkdhdkdhd I say Jay and Lloyd are my “favorites” but honestly it’s so hard to pick favorites out of this skittles squad like I love EVERY character for a variety of different reasons. I was going to also infodump about Lloyd but then I started talking about Prime Empire and then this post got. Long. So. it's just Jay I may infodump about Lloyd another day especially since I'm very Conduit Brained Rn but yea yea!

this is long so i'm putting most of it under the cut so y'all don't kill me for making a huge long post

I considered putting Zane and Sora on here as well since I’d also consider them my “favs” but like this is already gonna be. A lot of. Infodumping (also i typed THIS part before I even started and decided not to yell about Lloyd because this already got long enough). Maybe I’ll make a separate post for those two hmm hmm much to consider but for now MY (technically) FAVORITE NINJAGO CHARACTER: JAY WALKER

THE SPARKPLUG WHO INVADED MY BRAIN LIKE A PARASITE

so hey his name is a pun this makes me laugh ridiculously hard every time I remember he is named. After a misdemeanor HSKSHDKFH

Jay is such an interesting case of a character for me because I started out the show not liking him. Which is. Stares at my entire account I think my feelings have changed somewhat

Jay starts out as an asshole I don’t think anyone can disagree with me there (although honestly they’re all assholes in early ninjago they bullied a ten year old and left him dangling several feet off the ground) but over the course of the show you can see him start developing into a much more interesting character. He goes from being so insecure he's faking everything about himself to someone who knows who he is and is so genuine about it

now yea we could argue about whether his character was too uwu-ified post-season 10 but this is the FUN HAN POST SO WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT the point is you can SEE the growth that Jay has gone through and I am going to show you that growth through what I call

✨ The Skybound to Prime Empire Effect ✨

I AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THE IDEA THAT PRIME EMPIRE WAS WRITTEN TO BE A DIRECT PARALLEL OF SKYBOUND AND WAS CENTERED ON SHOWING HOW THE NINJA ESPECIALLY JAY HAVE GROWN THROUGHOUT THE SEASON

when season 12 rolls around we are at the point in Jay's development where he is CONFIDENT in who he is. He's a fun-loving jokester with the power of lightning and the drive to help people whenever he can. He uses jokes and humor to help alleviate tension and get people through whatever's happening. And when on his own what does he do?

BECOME AN ENTERTAINER BABEY

i like to think jay's club in prime empire was a safe haven for anyone stuck in the game who figured out hey. we Can't Leave and felt freaked about it. Also Jay would generally try and spread the word that hey something ISN'T RIGHT HERE which would lead people to want to stay with him

(totally plugging my friend's fic but this kind of thing is explored in would you like to enter prime empire by @finn-m-corvex y'all should check it out cool cool)

also the prime empire shorts which i watched all of in the midst of typing this video cuz i love them go watch them please please please jay was publically fighting the red visors which I imagine may have raised some red flags for some players

THIS SOMEHOW TURNED INTO PRIME EMPIRE INFODUMPING LMAO ANYWAYS Jay's confident! He becomes an entertainer because it's who he knows he is! And it's something that will get people hyped and having fun, which is very in-character for Jay to do! He uses those kinds of things to mask the Bad Things going on and get people remembering what's good

I've talked about this sort of thing before but that's Jay's whole philosophy as early as season 9! Which is a DIRECT contrast to how he views it in season 6, as Nadakhan puts it scarily accurately

"You make jokes to mask the fact that you're afraid"

(i was gonna grab a screenshot for that like i did with the hunted scene but netflix has bloCKED THE ABILITY TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS THE WAY I USED TO and i don't have them already and i'm too lazy to grab them from elsewhere so alas trust me he says it)

making jokes to hide your fear and using humor to remind yourself of what's good and coping with the bad are two VERY different outlooks on it

so I think this outlook is what drives him to make this glamrock persona in the first place - this is a bad situation, one he's in with other civilians, and what better way to keep him and themself safe until the others get there than throwing a big performance at a safe place!

also it's just so gender okay I want to look like Superstar Rockin' Jay so badly

it's also interesting to see his outlook on his parents change over time! In season six he finds out Ed and Edna aren't his birth parents and feels upset about it, not understanding why his birth parents would've abandoned him. In season twelve, that outlook changing is EXACTLY why Jay's able to get through to Unagami

"I was abandoned by my parents, too!... I never understood why, and I never had the chance to even ask. But I always hoped there was a good reason. What if there's a reason?"

(again curse you netflix i wanted SCREENSHOTS whatever whatever)

It's this scene that gets Unagami to calm down long enough for Milton Dyer to get there, and presumably is what stops him from just. Flattening him and Jay like a pancake.

to piggyback off of this i absolutely adore how Unagami and Jay consider each other adopted brothers in that one book I still haven't read and I hope he's in Dragons Rising at some point Unagami is my favorite "villain" (no longer a villain) in the whole show he deserves more screentime

like this is where i found out about this and it's plagued my mind ever since. i need to read. this book just for them

SO YEA OKAY Prime Empire is "Who is Jay as a Person Post-Skybound" to me also it opens up so many fascinating things about Jay. I rest my case

so backpedaling a little bit. JAY CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HIS PARENTS GUYS IT'S SO SOFT AND I'M sobs

like yea the first episode with Ed and Edna in it has Jay avoiding them like the plague but this gets explained very easily when you remember he was bullied for his home life before he became a ninja. It makes a lot more sense why he wouldn't want them around his new friends, assuming they'd react the same way. Also how was he supposed to know literally all the rest of the groups parents were either dead, presumed dead, or had a toxic relationship with their kid lmao

(Cole calling his mom kills me. Cole's mom is dead. I know they probably just didn't think that far ahead when writing the dialogue but it's so funny mans pretended to call his dead mom to get on Jay for not appreciating his parents iconic behavior)

anyways literally every episode Ed and Edna are central to (except like the one in skybound) Jay stops at nothing to protect his parents and it means the absolute world to me he's so much like them!! They raised an inventive little nerd and he will stop at nothing to make sure they're safe and it's. It's SO IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY

ALSO this is an excuse to clip my favorite piece of dialogue possibly in the entire show. Except Netflix won't let me now. So you just get the text dialogue

Jay's just fallen from the sky with a messed up eye and is incredibly distraught that all his friends are captured. And his dad just. The woRLD IS FALLING APART AND HE'S EATIN' SOUP-

Ed i love you

anyways

anways anyways this just turned into me rambling about prime empire and then Ed and Edna and a lot of disjointed other stuff but thank you for this opportunity i was going to also ramble about lloyd but i put this post in a word count and

yea i think that's enough for a tumblr post anyways! If anyone wants any like. More logically thought out and direct thoughts about characters feel free to send me asks this was fun thank u @zaptrap for this opportunity to scream about jay

#help this was. my brain is so not intact today so if this makes absolutely 0 sense i understand #i did end up watching some prime empire stuff during my ramblings and guys. the ending of that season still makes me cry #this is fully prime empire propaganda btw i need to like. talk about the season more because despite what my skybound posting would lead #y'all to believe THIS IS THE ACTUAL SEASON THAT LIVES IN MY HEAD AT ALL TIMES MOST OF MY MUTUALS ARE JUST MORE SKYBOUND BRAINED #AND IT RUBS OFF ON ME EASILY #but no prime empire is the fucking best #if i talk about jay long enough it WILL just turn into prime empire #also after I wrapped up this post i continued thinking more jay thoughts but this post is already long enough #like how jay is actually SO incredibly self-sacrificing and how he cares so much about helping people #also wow i didn't even mention his powers in that whole ramble. rare for me. #one day i wanna do!! a powers masterpost. like how i view all the ninja's elemental powers #but thats another day's project i am. So Eepy #anyways hope y'all appreciated this #also thank u serp for sending this ask which allowed me to Scream into the Void about jay walker #category 11 han moment fr #ninjago #lego ninjago #jay #jay walker #unagami #edna #ed #i have no idea if ANY of this is coherent btw #prime empire #skybound #hunted #quest for the lost powers #ask #spinjitsu screams

[chobani-flip]

buddie goggles and why you might enjoy wearing them more if you acknowledge them

so yeah, i think the buddie goggles are a real issue. (ive had them too, fellow shippers, no judgment) like, is it possible that buck and eddie will at some point start a deeply fulfilling romantic relationship? yes. is it what's happening on screen right now and what the show is 100% suggesting is imminent? no. sorry, it's just not.

look, the thing with analysing and interpreting any text is that it's very much about finding things that the text is doing, what could be there, looking at it from different angles and choosing to focus on certain aspects: that's why you have feminist readings of X and queer readings of Y, etc

but if you go looking at a text with the intention of looking for authorial intent and secret messages the author is leaving that only you and the fandom can pick up on correctly? that's such a slippery, tricky slope.

consider:

simply communicating ideas face to face to one single other person can often end in misunderstandings

communicating ideas in writing?... well, we live in the pissing on the poor era of the internet, don't we.

like, how many times have you read/written something, looked at the comments and gone: but...that's not what's there? like, interesting that you see it, but also, i don't know where you got that from

see where I'm going with this?

there is so much that goes into the making of a tv show besides the script and actors' delivery that i am absolutely not an expert on: costumes, set dressing, blocking, lighting, editing, soundtrack...

taking any of those aspects and analysing it and looking for connections is my favourite thing to do and read about and...

ngl, watching the show and looking for buddie in all of them is so much fun. i love it, it's what got me into 911 in the first place.

but i promise you, the moment you stop acknowledging that that's what you're doing, that what you're doing is a Buddie reading of 911, and instead proclaim it as the one single truth? that's when you set yourself up for a wild and not always pleasant ride.

and this isn't about having or not having faith in the writers or buddie or the one they call tim, and honestly, it's kind of telling that the word "faith" is used so often.

it's about accepting that while watching a tv show, we're all putting ourselves in a position of observing the shadows of plato's cave with binoculars on a low-visibility day. (ok. that's a really pretentious twatty thing to say, but i'll leave it there because i think the image is funny. ) and no amount of media literacy is going to give you a clear insight into the minds and intentions of all of the people creating the show (can we please stop shouting at people to get "media literacy" if they disagree with our interpretation of a text, even if what they're saying sounds dumb)

now, i don't know if yall were here for the TJLC thing back then, and I am absolutely not saying that what the Sherlock show did and what 911 is doing is in any shape or form similar, however, on tumblr and amongst the fandom, the lead-up to season 4 and then the secret fourth episode fallout felt exactly like what some parts of the 911 fandom are doing now. so... just take care, friends. and don't be dicks to people who disagree with you over a ship.

#9-1-1 #911 abc #911 season 7 #buddie #buddie goggles #firebeast #bucktommy

[brineffxiv]

My new old friends and I continue our adventures through Elpis.

We're about to be eaten by a shark with legs when Venat drops out of goddamn nowhere and knocks the thing out. So fast I didn't even manage to capture the moment.

Hell of an entrance. I can certainly say I didn't expect to meet her like this.

Venat is apparently a former member of the Convocation who has eschewed the majority opinion and elected to remain and continue her work after retiring.

*Gaaaaaaassp!!*

Former Azem!? OMG.

Venat knows Hythlodaeus and Emet-Selch of course, and they all have a little exchanging of pleasantries, discuss the current Azem (Me! It's Past Me! AAA!), and generally make smalltalk. When suddenly Venat turns to me, and asks...

DANGER! DANGER! THE CAT IS OUT OF THE CLOSET BAG!

Fuuuuuu-

The question is met with shocked reactions from my two travelling companions. Venat explains how she reached this conclusion: She senses her own magic upon me - a traveler's ward, designed to prevent the corruption of aether - and knowing she has never met me she surmises that she must have woven the enchantment at some point in the future.

I confirm her suspicions.

Emet-Selch is taking this very seriously. He is not going to like what I have to tell him.

Venat offers her accommodations here in Elpis as a place we can go where I can tell them all my story. Venat seems to me a very lovely person. She's difficult to dislike, even if I may have some grievances with her future self.

At Poieten Oikos, Venat prepares us some tea, and the group settle in to hear my tale.

I really appreciate how this was done. The time it took for me to explain everything, and the shots of the characters shown throughout as they reacted to what I was presumably telling them. The way the mood progressed from curiosity and hope to solemn horror as each of my new friends were confronted with their fates and the future of the star.

(It made sense to me that Venat was shown specifically contrasted with her future as Hydaelyn, and Emet-Selch with the fate of the convocation as a whole, but it was especially interesting to me that Hythlodaeus was confronted with - and presumably effected the most by - Emet-Selch and his phantom Amaurot. Not his own future as a shade sacrificed to Zodiark, but that of his friend and the burden he would bear. Curious, and food for thought... bad shipper brain! Not time for that!)

I speak for a long time; until the tea has long grown cold. None of them take what I've told them particularly well, and all express doubts. Venat seems the one most inclined to credit my story as being true.

I am extremely pleased to see that she has several of the same critiques of her future self's actions as I do! Perhaps we will get along better than I expected!

Emet-Selch is not taking this well at all. Honestly, I don't blame him. He plays the role of villain in this tale, and not only is he fated to labor in grief and isolation for thousands of lifetimes, he is ultimately doomed to fail. He alone among the Convocation must carry the burdens of sanity, memory, and responsibility.

In defence of your future self; I do not think you abandoned your brethren or your duty. I think assisting me was simply a backup plan in the event that I killed you. As to why you would do something so seemingly illogical as to invite me to Amaurot in the depths of the Tempest? I think, despite it all, you desperately wanted the person you still saw as your old friend to understand you. What you were doing and why. Deep down you didn't want to kill me, but rather, you wanted me to agree with you, to convert to your side of things. As impossible as that eventuality might seem, you still had hope that we could see eye-to-eye. The friend who disagreed so strongly with your chosen course that he left the Convocation might yet return. Your people - those sundered and those imprisoned with Zodiark - might be made whole and restored to life. All could be as it was, and the world could be restored to the version you loved, when you were happy and whole.

So you invited me to Amaurot. A final attempt to force me to see what we'd lost. It wasn't about winning, or the most logical course of action; it was about a desperate hope to reclaim even the tiniest sliver of what you lost. A friendship, a connection. Pain and loneliness and grief and love were your motivations.

Emet-Selch speaks and plans logically, and rationalizes his actions in the moment. But in truth he is ruled by his emotions: he feels too strongly and too keenly. He loved so much that loss turned him into a monster.

Anyway, back to the preset, Emet-Selch storms out the door with Hythlodaeus running and calling after him.

Venat and I are left alone.

I am concerned, but Venat assures me that if Emet-Selch is truly the man Azem has led her to believe he is, we will see him again.

Fortunately, Venat seems inclined to help me. I tell her of what I've learned of Dynamis, and of Hermes' experiments with it regarding Meteion. We set about questioning the nearby researchers regarding Hermes and his activities.

Our inquiries are mostly unproductive until we chance upon a researcher whose partner once saw Hermes, late one night, sending multiple Meteia skyward. We decide to speak to the researcher personally to hear this story in full. We ascend to the skyway, and, while waiting to hear from the researcher herself, Venat and I get to talking.

Venat wants to know what the world in the future is like. She asks me to tell her about my adventures - the smaller details, as opposed to the world ending ones.

In turn, Venat tells me of her own history; she has been a scholar, one who sought to learn and discover the mysteries of the world. Through her work she feels perpetually in awe of the miracles of creation. She is the Ur adventurer; the desire to travel and learn and experience runs strong in her. And she loves fiercely all that she has come to know.

Her people are her meaning and her purpose, and they are why she cannot bring herself to return to the star. Not so long as she feels they still need her. She speculates that her future self as Hydaelyn is still waiting for a time when She can let go, confident that we can guide our own way.

Oh. That is a hell of a question.

And one I'm not given time to answer before the woman we are waiting for appears. But here...

I think it's obvious I love this game. I adore it. It's fantastic. I'm already planning to play it through again once I've finished.

But what of Rhesh'a? How does he feel?

I imagine he's still somewhat in shock. He hasn't had a moment to rest and breathe in a very long time. He's very good at compartmentalizing, bucking down and dealing with stress in emergency situations. But, now, he's approaching the end of his rope emotionally, and he's going to have a hellish reckoning to face when he finally has a chance to come to terms with all he's been through. I do not think his journey can be described in such simple terms as "good" or "bad". Worthwhile? This is his life. All he is, all he has and loves has come to him through this journey.

I will have to think on this more.

The researcher arrives! She regales us with the tale of the Meteia, shooting skywards like stars from a little isle not too far off. This must be what Hermes was talking about when he told me of Meteion's sisters, off exploring distant stars.

When the researcher had asked Hermes about his secret project, he'd told her that he needed to do more tests before answering any questions.

I am strongly suspecting that this project of Hermes' with the Meteia is related to the root cause of the Final Days, and it seems Venat agrees with me. We are going to go to the little isle to investigate some more, but I cannot yet fly in Elpis so we need some way to get me there...

Argos is less than amenable to me riding on him this time. Venat's solution is for me to fight her, and prove to Argos that I am worthy. She does not go easy on me.

Ouch.

Venat kicked my ass. This fight was not easy with a broken hand, I tell you. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Yay! Argos likes me now!

Again.

...

Oh.

Oh no.

This dog. This fucking dog, man.

I'm sorry Argos, I'm sure you're the goodest of boys, it's just that you've suddenly become a symbol of everything about to go wrong for me. I tried. I tried so damn hard to ignore it, to put it aside, but my brain can't stop assembling the pieces of the puzzle. And the picture it's creating is upsetting.

Back up a bit. I've been keeping my eye out, and I'm certain I have yet to meet anyone who could be Elidibus. But this dog. Just made me think of something. Elidibus knew to send me into the past because he remembered meeting me here. Re-framed another way; the future I come from already exists as a result of me visiting the past. It's a closed time loop. In order for me to have travelled into the past, I must always have done so. The act of me travelling into the past itself does not create a change in the timeline because that act is a pre-condition to the existence of my own future.

All very well and good, but this dog.

This dog.

This dog knew me in the future.

Argos here had to learn to respect me before he would let me ride him. In the future I come from, my past, he liked me right away. The Watcher even remarked that it was strange for him to behave that way towards me.

But I'm the WoL: I'm used to being exceptional. Why would it be strange that the otherwise unapproachable dog liked me? I am Hydaelyn's specialest little boy, after all.

But here!

He doesn't! He fucking doesn't! I am NOT the exception to the rule!

Which can only mean, that when I encountered Argos on the moon, he was remembering me having earned his respect in the past.

Right now.

I always fought Venat in the past in order to earn Argos' respect. That's why he let me ride him.

Somehow. Incredibly. Horrifyingly. After all I have done. I have not managed to change the future. The timeline has not split. Despite Emet-Selch, Hythlodaeus, and Venat all knowing exactly what is coming... and the former two at least (if not all three) explicitly not knowing that in my future... this time still leads to mine.

While I'm having my little freak out crisis, Venat and I arrive on the little island with the pretty pink tree.

Venat informs me that there are two ways to view an event in the past with my abilities. The first is what I've always experienced with the Echo, the second is utilizing the ambient aether for the same purpose. While I still can't control the ability voluntarily, Venat will help me.

I am granted a vision of Hermes and Meteion, having just sent the other Meteia off on their journeys to other stars. Their missions are to seek other intelligent lifeforms on other stars, and inquire of them their conceptions of life and what they live for. In finding these answers Hermes hopes to bring enlightenment to the peoples of this star, and improve the quality of life for all beings, not just man.

Hermes promises to hold a celebration for Meteion upon her return, and gift her a beautiful flower. I wonder if this is why she wanted to in turn gift Hermes a flower?

Returning to myself, Venat and I agree that it does not seem likely that Hermes would cause the Final Days on purpose. But we cannot rule out an accidental cause, or an oversight. In light of this, Venat suggests we fill Hermes in on my story, and seek his expertise in the field of Dynamis on this matter.

That it would not. If there is anything that can be done to prevent Hermes from becoming the Fandaniel of my time, then I would do it.

#ffxiv liveblog #rhesh'a tag #emet-selch #hythlodaeus #venat #hydaelyn #hermes #meteion #argos #baseless speculation #thoughts on lore #slowly rising panic #horrors and terrors

[hurtyknees]

I think Josh Sauchak is one of my favorite examples of Explicitly Autistic Characters In Media.

Obviously, he's not a *perfect* example, because at the end of the day there are still cliches he falls into (being white, cis, pretty young, etc etc etc) but IMHO he's not insufferable, or an offensive caricature (like Sheldon - even tho they have a lot of basic similarities- or Sia's Music ™).

All that being said, here are things i appreciate in the way Josh's character was made:

1. He's an actual adult.

A lot of people who are much smarter than me talked about how shitty it is to infantilize neurodivergent people. And they're right; it annoys me to no end when people who are close to The Autistic Character™ treat them like a child, with no agency of their own. WD2 doesn't do that!

(some could argue that Sitara does it. I'd disagree; It goes with how her character is set up - she cares deeply about her friends, and goes out of her way to make sure they're okay. She's protective. Not just towards Josh, but Marcus, the Unnamed Friend from the Moscow Gambit mission, off the top of my head.)

There's only one person i can think of who explicitly infantilized Josh and treated him less like a person, and more like a pet. And that's Lenny. Y'know, someone who game tried very hard to let us know we're NOT SUPPOSED TO LIKE.

and - SPOILER - it did bite her in the ass at the end, didn't it?

2. He's a full, well rounded character.

I'll try to keep it short and sweet- the difference between Josh and Sheldon - the unholy staple of autistic characters - is that Josh doesn't feel flat. At least to me.

He does admit in one of the side missions that autism does have a huge impact on his personality. Now i couldn't find an exact quote, but after Marcus asks him whether or not he'd take part in the "experiments" being held that could supposedly "cure autism", Josh's answer is something along the lines of "only if I could go back from that. I like who i am, and i don't know if I'd like myself without it (the autism)".

Side note- it's genuinely so uplifting to see an autistic character and people around them not treating neurodivergency like some fucking curse. It happens way too often.

But yeah, going back to the point- Josh has a full, fleshed out personality. He's passionate, self aware, can be absolutely hilarious, and doesn't let other people walk over him. But he also holds himself to very high standards, and can be really harsh on himself if he doesn't meet them.

3. How he's treated by others.

I touched on that briefly before, but i simply love every interaction Josh has with others.

They treat him so normally, that in media where neurodivergent people are more often than not treated like aliens this felt extremely refreshing.

Dedsec members don't baby him as mentioned above, but they also don't get mad when he doesn't understand something, or - in his head - fucks something up.

(And honestly, that applies to everyone in Dedsec. I was so scared that the writers are gonna go for the lowest hanging fruit- do something that will make the group temporarily fall apart. But they didn't. Not when Marcus had his big fuckup at !nvite, not when Ray showed up. They stuck together. And didn't dwell on each other's mistakes.)

TLDR; it fascinates me to no end how media that treat themselves so insanely seriously fail at being inclusive, but Watch Dogs 2 - the game that took a giant U-turn from being that, after seeing how first game was received - has had some of the most genuine, heartfelt, casual representation I've seen in a long time.

Again, it's not perfect. But it's honest and down to earth. It didn't treat marginalized communities it included instrumentally.

I just love this game so much.

#watch dogs #watch dogs 2 #watch dogs legion #josh sauchak #Josh watch dogs #Josh watch dogs 2 #watch dogs Josh #wrench #watch dogs wrench #sitara dhawan #marcus holloway #wrencus

[wisteria-lodge]

snake primary + slightly burned lion secondary (bird model)

I'm pretty sure I'm a double bird, but I'd like to know your thoughts.

For my primary, the thing that matters the most to me in the entire world is my S/O, he is my top priority

I mean, I certainly hope you mean "top priority [along with myself.]

and I view everyone else as "mattering less" in a hierarchial sort of way. For instance, my best friend is just below him, and everyone else is below her. It's not that I don't like my friends and acquaintances, they just mean less to me *morally*

Interested in where you're getting Bird primary from. Because that sounds pretty Snakey.

(I would never tell anyone they "don't matter" to me though, it's incredibly mean and I care a lot about what people think of me)

Just random people? Not even *your* people. Okay, now we're starting to sound like an External primary. (Bird or Badger.)

HOWEVER, I've gotten the impression that snake primaries have a built moral system outside of "me and my people" that they can drop at a moment's notice when it comes to their people, but I feel like I'm the opposite; I really WANT to be the kind of person who's loyal no matter what, but if my S/O says things I disagree with I have to be true to myself and my beliefs and argue with him about it.

Interesting. You like Snake primaries, maybe even idealize Snake primaries. Because what you're describing is just like... a relationship. A Snake primary might agree to disagree, because in the end it doesn't matter /that much/ to them. But they'd still talk about it.

I can be pretty sensitive with him, but mostly when it's something I believe very strongly for personal reasons, though it can happen over smaller things too. I am willing to listen to his side and understand where he's coming from though, and use subjective language when arguing. And I think about it a lot afterwards, asking myself whether I was right to react the way I did or whether I should have been more mature, whether I was objectively wrong, etc.

Eeeesh. "[too] sensitive" "should have been more mature" "subjective not objective" etc.

You're allowed to feel things. You don't need to explain why you feel. You are also allowed to have a large emotional reaction over something small. (That's why I ask for small, normal, personal anecdotes, examples like that can be extremely telling.) And it just rubs me the wrong way when someone is praised for being mature, or told to be *more* mature. Maturity is a function of how long you have been on planet Earth, and how many decisions you have needed to make while there. That's it. There's no way to bootstrap that, doesn't matter how smart you are. The only way to become more mature is to live more.

I actually spend a lot of time thinking about my actions in general like this. If I come to the conclusion I'm wrong, I'll feel extremely guilty for "not being loyal enough", though I can feel this way even if I'm right, too (I am very hard on myself for no reason). I suffer from OCD, so my morals are made a lot more extreme in my mind, and only apply to me for the most part. So, if I was coming off as unhealthy, that's probably why lol

I can see that.

But, this only happens with my S/O because I trust him so much; I'm not like this around others, tending to stay quiet due to anxiety and keeping my annoyance inside.

That's burned secondary language. "I want to express myself, but I can't. So your two options are speak out (and then obsess over what you said exactly, and end up feeling guilty for speaking out even if you decide you were right.) Or say nothing, and let the annoyance build up. That's one hell of a choice, friend.

I don't think I've always been this invested in loyalty; at some point after hurting the person who was Most Important at the time, loyalty being incredibly important became ingrained in me. But when I was younger, I was a lot more passionate about injustice and got very swept up in the "sjw" stuff, tending to believe whatever I read or was told. My friends would often get annoyed with how much I'd start yelling about something, like incorrect word usage or if someone was insensitive about someone's identity.

I'm wondering if you might have a Lion secondary. You would definitely prefer to argue then keep the peace, and it sounds like when you were younger you were a lot more fiery.

"Tending to believe whatever I read or was told" is young behavior kind of in general, although it hits External primaries hardest. Although this shift from a more Lion systemto something more Snake flavored is definitely something a Bird would do.

And before that, I believed a lot of what I grew up hearing from my mother, about how my bio family only cared about "blood" while she didn't (I'm adopted and grew up not being related to anyone in my family, and therefore have strong opinions on people saying stuff like "real parents" etc). I always told myself that I loved my mother even though it was clear to me that she didn't love me back, and the only way I got out of that situation was finally telling myself that I didn't have to love her and that I had to prioritize myself over everyone else if I was going to get out. I ended up being incredibly stubborn and standing my ground and repeating to myself over and over not to listen to her. Making my own judgements and forming my own opinions came with time and maturity, and I'm hoping my temper continues to dampen and I become better at patience in the future.

This is a story about a Lion secondary protecting you. This, when it really comes down to it, are what Lion secondaries are *for.* That voice that says "This far and no further. I will be stubborn, I will let anything else fall away. It doesn't matter what comes at me, I am just going to repeat what I'm doing until I get OUT." The world needs people like that.

But now you're in a less dire situation. Your Lion secondary is still protecting you, but you need some more nuanced problem-solving techniques as well.

I am closer to the rest of my family now that they have finally cut her out of their lives, because she hurt all of them. Despite her having clear favorites among us kids and having a hierarchy, and me hating that, I do the same thing. I try not to make it as obvious, though.

You're absolutely allowed to have favorite people in your life. You're even allowed to let if effect how you treat them, because everyone involved has a comparable level of power. If they have a problem, they can leave or take it up with you. A child can't do that, which is why treating specifically a child with obvious favoritism is so awful.

(I will note that I've picked up some of my S/O's morals, but only because I care about what he'd think if I did things like kill a bug instead of putting it outside or if I wasted food, etc)

Could be a Bird with a Snakey system. Could also just be a Snake.

I would say that, between abandoning my morals and abandoning my people(/person), that the latter makes me feel way more guilty.

You definitely seem to have a kind of complicated relationship with Loyalists, and Snake primaries in general. On one hand, your mother seems to be kind of a toxic Snake, and you want to make sure that you never do hierarchies in the way that *she* did. On the other hand, you kind of idolize Snakes and wish that you were a Snake, or a better Snake. You also say some things that sound kind of Bird primary, sure. But you say a LOT of things that sound Snake.

Here's my take on you. I think you're a Snake primary who spent some time kind of burned. You might have even done a controlled Burn on purpose to get away from your mother - that is absolutely something that Snakes do, and honestly it's often pretty healthy as long as they don't *stay* burned. I think that when you didn't trust your Snake you built something that felt a little more *constructed,* and you are still at a place where you think you should be a better Snake than you are (which is something I see with slightly burnt primaries.) I also think that in the places where you look really Lion is probably just your secondary getting loud.

I am pretty selfish with people when I first meet them; I often only want to engage in my own interests, and only start caring about the other person's interests and becoming more selfless once we grow closer and I see them as important to me.

Don't beat yourself up, this is just people stuff.

However, I admire people who are able to just care about everyone and be so selfless and loving. I genuinely have no idea how they do that; I have no interest in loving absolutely everyone, I just think it's very impressive that they can. I feel like they are better people than me.

It is honestly very classic for Snake primaries to think that Badgers are Just Better.

As for my secondary, I used to be more impulsive and bad at planning ahead due to a combination of immaturity and ADHD.

I feel like I'm not very good at originality and creating new things, but I AM good at taking something and modifying or improving upon it. I am often thinking of ways I can make something that's meh or already pretty good and make it even better, and will end up fiddling with it to accomplish this. This includes image editing, messing with Tumblr themes, adding things to recipes, etc. I've also learned a lot of things and picked up new skills by doing this!

This is a very Improvisational way of talking about problem solving. Lions and Snakes will often talk about wanting something that they can *respond* to, and can easily get stuck when they have to begin in a void.

I dislike lying, especially when it comes to myself, but I do tend to have "different" sides I show depending on the person I'm interacting with. I am fully myself with my S/O, and mostly myself with my best friend, and everyone else gets a watered down version of me.

This is the Lion secondary "dimmer switch" or "volume dial" metaphor. There's you, and there's slightly toned-down versions of you.

It depends on what I think they're expecting of me or how I want them to perceive me, and I may exaggerate certain parts of myself a little, but I don't l pretend to be something I'm not. And I'm making an effort to be more Me and embrace myself more after putting myself into a box for a long time.

Good. I think that's going to be really good for you.

But, after moving out and getting older, I've had to hone my ability to plan ahead and prepare for things to avoid potential problems, or just make things easier for future me. I am often thinking of plans which usually involve more abstract, unusual ways of going about things based on what is available in terms of skills, resources, people I can ask for help, etc. I've also heard that "collecting shiny people" is something bird secondaries do, and that's something I'm super known for and partially plays into the "hierarchy" stuff I mentioned earlier. I love learning about people and analyzing them; personality typologies are actually a huge interest of mine! and I love being able to know and read people.

It sounds like after moving out you built yourself a lovely Bird secondary model that you really enjoy. Good for you.

I think that's all I have to say. Thanks and hope you're having a good day!

You are very welcome, and I am having a nice day.

#snake lion #lion secondary #snake primary #bird secondary model #shc #sortinghatchats #wisteria sorts #sortme

[a-guy-named-e]

the states as weird things my directors have said

alabama: you have so much school spirit i almost forgot you don't know how football works

alaska: why can't you all shut the hell up every once in a while

arizona: you're the only person i'll let complain at this point. i don't think you're right, but i do think it's funny.

arkansas: you're still here? i thought you graduated. leave already, dammit.

california: i thought i was ready for the pronoun question but clearly i was not.

colorado: i don't know why he hangs out with you, all you do is smoke weed! [turns to me] you haven't started smoking weed have you?

connecticut: i will pay you seven dollars if you can get the tenors to stop giving me stupid nicknames.

delaware: yes. i know you were the first to reset. that's because you don't move.

georgia: do you know where the disembodied cougar head is? no? well then i don't know what to tell you.

florida: i never thought i'd have to say this but please do not pick up any more squirrels.

hawai'i: your disregard for authority is only funny when it's [band director], not when it's me.

idaho: i don't care what you call it, i want to know why you were arranging a marriage on the back of the bus.

illinois: i need you to do me a favor and make sure [friend] never wears that packers jersey again because next time i might strangle him.

indiana: why is it so hard for you to march slides? just turn and look at the damn cornfield!

iowa: alumni, i appreciate you coming out to watch, but please do not turn our rehearsal into a field of dreams moment.

kansas: if you make one more comment about the scenery i'm kicking you off the bus.

kentucky: you were a horse girl in a past life, weren't you?

louisiana: i know you can't dance worth shit but i need you to play like you're trying to convince someone that you can.

maine: i can't tell if you're agreeing with me or just acknowledging me but i like being agreed with so i'm going with that.

maryland: i don't trust anyone whose only experience with crab is imitation crab meat

massachusetts: i'm not technically allowed to swear around you but that was fucking terrible.

michigan: so are you just emotionally invested in awful sports teams or what?

minnesota: i know this is the midwest but can someone please bring anything other than a casserole to the pitch-in?

mississippi: i don't care who was talking, i'm telling all of you to shut up so i know i get the right one.

missouri: i know dark humor is in and all but i feel obligated to tell you that i'm a mandated reporter, so can you please make your jokes about jumping off the arch where i can't hear them?

montana: no, you may not run laps in the enchanted forest.

nebraska: it's almost the 4th, right? okay, if you can play three notes better this rep i'll run to the cornfield and check if it's knee-high for you guys.

nevada: oh my god you did not just start a poker game.

new hampshire: i don't care that it's 101°, i'm not allowed to let you be shirtless.

new jersey: the way some of you march makes me so scared of you becoming drivers.

new mexico: this should be sultry! be sultry!

new york: i don't pay $5 for my coffee. i like it black. like my soul.

north carolina: you're acting like a whiney little brother. i should know. i am the whiney little brother.

north dakota: all things being equal i'd love to agree to disagree. however all things are not equal. i'm smarter than you.

ohio: buckle up kids, this is going to be the only interesting thing you see for the next several hours.

oklahoma: trumpets i am begging you to get a personality other than metaphorical dick measuring contests with the tubas

oregon: i don't care that we used the bridge last year, we're using it again. it's our thing now.

pennsylvania: i often get sad about the fact that we border ohio but then i remember that ohio also borders us

rhode island: one more wrong note and i'm putting the piccolo on a high shelf where you can't reach it.

south carolina: i want you to play like $40 peach sweet tea.

south dakota: i wish i were an only child too, but not all of us can be that lucky

tennessee: if you hear me blasting dolly parton in my office shut up and mind your business.

texas: we don't have much going for us, but i can guarantee no one else is dumb enough to cram 90 horn players on a gym floor and make them march.

utah: i don't know why you have seven pictures of jesus taped to your face and honestly i'm a little scared to ask.

vermont: alright folks, practice is starting late today. someone put seventy two bottles of cracker barrel maple syrup in my office. yes, i counted.

virginia: i hate to be a buzzkill but unfortunately murder is still very illegal.

washington: i'm sorry, you're now legally required to get starbucks before all of our competitions. i will buy it for you if that's what it takes.

west virginia: you may have noticed country roads is in our pep band binder. please note that i will be using this as leverage for the rest of the season. if you cross the line, it gets cut. consider yourself warned.

wisconsin: i have a lot of questions honestly, but i think the two most pressing are "why are you eating a whole block of cheese" and "aren't you lactose intolerant"

wyoming: you know what? i think i'm with you on this one, i would've preferred sexy cowboys to sexy firemen too.

#these have been collected over the past six years #some of them are very recent and some not so much #but all of them are actual quotes from my band and choir directors #wttt #wttsh #deja queue

[acourtofthought]

I’m tempted to block everything about Gwyn + Azriel lately. It hasn’t even happened yet - we literally have no confirmation that it will happen and people have ruined it for me. I’ve seen people literally saying “my favorite part of their love story”… what story? The one that hasn’t even been written yet? I fear it’s becoming one of those horribly overhyped ships and if SJM decides to go a different way, Gwynriels are gonna turn into Elriels 2.0. I’m literally praying for Elucien’s book to be next because I already feel like I’ve read 10 books about Gwynriel. And I’m sort of starting to get sick of the warrior x warrior pairs. Authors, not just SJM, need to start shaking things up and think of something different.

I think it's very normal to experience shippers fatigue when a pairing is not your favorite because no matter how much people might be alright with your personal ship, there will be times when the discussion surrounding their favorite will (even unintentionally) make yours seem less important.

While I do think we're all guilty of imagining how good both Gwynriel and Elucien could be together (and will hopefully be), I agree that neither couple is currently in love. Someday if they end up there, maybe we can look back and say, "they were barely friends at that point but based on what the characters told us in their book, they sensed that the other was going to be someone important to them" and that technically will become part of their love story. But at this point I agree that we can't know for sure exactly where it will have begun for them. Because a love story that started when Az was canonically still in love with Mor and fixated on Elain for the wrong reasons is not a very good love story. Just like I wouldn't want Elucien to be falling for one another while she was still in love with Graysen.

While I do think Gwynriel will end up together and well matched, I agree that every female becoming a warrior is getting a little redundant at this point (especially within the same series). Which is why I am also really looking forward to Elain and Lucien's book. I want to see more of the politics side of things from them, more of their intelligence shining through in how they interact with other Courts, and less training, less "the Illyrians are brutes", less IC drama that has been the focus for so many books now. Elucien would be a nice break from all that.

I think my most controversial take on Gwynriel is not so much how a shipper imagines their story to go or headcannons because those are the things that keep us alive while we wait for the next book. My biggest issue is that just because Az and Gwyn were more heavily featured in SF, people have taken up the stance that Elucien is irrelevant so Gwynriel MUST be the focus of the next book.

Gwynriel was in SF, sure. But you know whose unresolved story was in ACOMAF? ACOWAR? ACOFAS? ACOSF? Elucien. It doesn't matter how often Az's name was in SF or that Gwyn had more development than Elain because Gwyn was there for Nesta (and Az is Cassian's best friend). I don't disagree that SJM is hinting at Gwynriel but the main point of Gwyn in SF was to be Nesta's found family which means she had to strongly feature in the book and Nesta needed to know who Gwyn was in order for their relationship to develop. However, when you consider how Elain's story has been building from book 2 and Lucien's from book 1, it's not about most mentions in a book (especially a book about Nesta and Cassian). It feels a little like "can't you wait your turn?" considering Gwynriel was just introduced. Eluciens deserve to be put out of their misery 😂. And yes, Chaol and Yrene got together in a single book but it wasn't at the expense of who Aelin was going to end up with after her romantic arc had been building for multiple books.

It wouldn't make any sense for Elain or Lucien to heavily feature in a Nessian's book when Lucien is not actually part of the IC (though SJM still found a way to make him relevant and set his future journey up) and Nesta and Elain are not meant to become extremely close. The point of Nesta's journey was learning to find a life outside of being Elain's protector and learning to let go of Elain. It was also a continuation of the narrative that Elain doesn't belong in the NC so she had to remain somewhat irrelevant to the IC in general.

Sure, we know Gwyn is going to have unknown powers, needs to discover her heritage, she may have a mating bond and we know she's going to need to decide what she wants to do about being a priestess and leaving the library but SJM literally told us, "Elain doesn't belong in the NC and has unknown powers, Elain will go to Spring and then the continent, Lucien is also going to be in Spring (Spring which the IC keeps mentioning they need up and running) and the continent, Lucien is displaying the markers of a High Lord, still doesn't know about his father, Koschei is about to call Vassa back and she's connected to Lucien and Vassa, and Elain and Lucien still need to decide what they'll do about their actual confirmed mating bond which has been an ongoing issue for multiple books. Everything with Elain and Lucien was laid out with actual locations. Not to mention the final page of the book has Nesta placing the wooden carving made for Elain (a carving which was repeatedly mentioned in SF) on their fathers gravestone as a "marker of the beauty and good he tried to bring into the world" and that (to me) is clearly symbolic of Elain and how she'll soon go on her journey.

That doesn't mean the Gwynriel book can't happen next, it absolutely can. But I do get somewhat frustrated by Gwynriel's who really don't think there is just as much suggesting Elucien could also be next. They're forgetting how long Elain and Lucien's journey's has been building and that it actually made sense for Elain not to heavily feature in the books if SJM is trying to sell the narrative that no one really knows her and her not belonging in the NC.

#pro elucien #elucien #pro elain archeron #pro lucien vanserra

[banavalope]

Really apropos of nothing - from your perspective, anyway - but I do wish it were. Easier? Less open for exploitation? For artists to be able to explore the concept of shared / collaborative universes more often in the pursuit of creating original art.

(more discussion of topic under cut in the event no one cares lol)

I'll note first that I'm having a different conversation here than the ad nauseam one about an artist's right to own and profit off their intellectual property. We do not disagree on this point, I am staunchly in favor, always, of independent artists staking claim on what is theirs and protecting themselves with ownership and copyright. What I'm against is corporate abuse of this protection, because literally what do they need it for, they are billionaires. Eat my ass, my life has only been made worse learning that Disney tried to fucking copyright the names Thor and Loki. So, let's digress.

I'm coming at this from a background of having grown up on adoptables RPG forums circa Gaiaonline, it was a large portion of my internet community life; the concept of an adoptables RPG is tangentially related to shared universes. They have similar DNA: a collection of people all flocking to a concept and, through communal effort, build the canon together. It's non-commital, it's more than just you and some friends creating a story, it's a little like an open RPG except you get to keep whatever you made up if you decide you're jumping ship from Gaia to Deviantart because let's say you got into a weird internet fight once with a 22 year old over a PNG you paid fake money for, and have decided you really just don't need that kind of drama in your life now that you've turned 17.

Where they differ is in the most important aspect of one being open source by permission, and the other by design.

Collaborative works like Orion's Arm, or SCP for a more mainstream example, are fascinating examples of what I mean. The dedication to building open source fictional backdrops anyone can use for anything, for profit or not, that nobody can solely own. Of course, I feel like these examples exist so perfectly because the sci-fi genre has itself always been this way. D&D is also this way. Those are nice points of inspirational reference, but they're only two genres. Very specific genres, at that.

Because you have to sometimes consider, there exist people who want to write, or want to create, who are likely very good at these things, but struggle to come up with an """""original""""" idea within their topic of interest. Maybe their interest is so niche it's impossible to separate it from the original point of inspiration (see: every time someone calls out typing quirks as homestuck derivative) Alternatively are the people good at coming up with a multitude of ideas based on one topic, but no good at stringing them together into some kind of cohesive idea, or maybe just lack the motivation to do it. Not everything has to be a thing, sometimes you just want to share an idea in a way that matters without it being your magnum opus. Yeah, you could post them into the screaming void of the social media abyss, though it's hardly a satisfying compromise.

Imagine the work that could be created if there were genres upon genres of open source worldbuilding projects, and the safety of knowing the idea you're riffing off of hurts no one to use, as being riffed off of is its intended purpose for existing. Nobody owns it! We all agreed to that at the start! Go nuts! Sell it, if you want to!

"You're just describing fandom AU", yes, dear reader, astute observation. Shared universes are, to me, the natural evolution of a fandom. Instead of only joking about how, after a point, an AU is just an original story, or a certain amount of headcanons creates a whole new character, you take that joke to its logical conclusion. Maybe it goes under recognized as the next step up because we're all so focused on making fun of people for it, but to say so risks sounding spicy.

Anyway, I love collaborative storytelling, I love shared universes and open source material, so much so that I want to bake it into my own art projects. I want there to be more free art created and curated by independent artists, ensuring struggling independent artists who can't afford to be free are able to make their living. I want art to be more accessible beyond just access to products. I have exhausted the SCP wiki, and hunger.

#bana stop talking #just me thinking out loud in a very altruistic manner #got fucking hyped up for Little Reason over shared universes the other day and decided to go on a tangent #bc sometimes you remember you have the power to just do that on a blog

[alex-and-coffee]

So. I need to get my thoughts out on the last Doctor Who special. I've seen posts with takes that I very much disagree with and didn't want to derail them with my thoughts, so here we are.

(Also. These are my personal thoughts and so they are going to be very self centered. That said, I am open to discussion if you wanna add your two cents.)

(Also also. This became an ESSAY lmao I had more to say than I thought so I'm putting in a read more so it doesn't completely take up your dash haha)

I will first say that I do agree that not mentioning Martha and Yaz weird. They were important to the Doctor and I can't think of a reason why they weren't mentioned among the others. Also, the ending to The Giggle wasn't great. It was anticlimactic, rushed, and made the Toymaster seem like he wasn't an actual threat? It felt more like someone was pulling his strings tbh. There are probably more things I could say about it but this post isn't about my criticisms of the episodes.

Another quick note, I like the bi-regeneration. My interpretation is 15 is the regeneration of 14 after he's lived his life, but instead of regenerating at the end of 14's life, he's regenerating early because of the Toymaker.

To start with the first thing that has me ruffled is that, to me, Ncuti shone in the role as the Doctor. He was charismatic, joyful and fun - we're getting something different and exciting. We got time with him before his first official episode and that made me very excited for his run as the Doctor (I will add that after seeing the trailer that I am worried about the Christmas special because goblins eating babies? Antisemitism anyone?).

This episode was the happy ending for 14 and the exciting beginning for 15. I don't understand where the complaints of 15 being undercut or being overshadowed by 14. To me it functioned as a soft reset - we got 14 settling down with the Mott-Noble-Temple family to rest and heal from his trauma while 15 goes and starts his adventures without all the baggage of 9-14's runs. Healing isn't linear either, and he still has that history so it can be referenced to and can come up later, but 15 is truly happy ("fixed" - though I hate that they phrased it that way) in a way that he hasn't been in NuWho (I haven't seen classic Who so I can't say anything about it). People don't change until the pain of not changing outweighs the pain of staying the same. If we didn't see that change happen in the Doctor, then I wouldn't have bought a transition from Jodi's Doctor (who represses absolutely everything) to Ncuti's Doctor, who's been magically "fixed".

I've seen several posts about how 14 regressed on 13's happiness and made the Doctor sad again, which. I would say misinterprets 13 in a pretty fundamental way. Her smile and happiness is a mask 13 hides behind. She's hurting and bottles all of it up to shove out of sight in the hopes that if she ignores it it will go away. She's running away just as much as her previous regenerations, which is shown in the way that she doesn't share anything personal about herself. She doesn't talk about her history with anyone she travels with, she even brushes her hurt off when Jack, who has been with her through some of her shit, asks if she's ok. (This. might not be the best point bc it feels like Jack excepts her to be ok, and 13 does have people pleasing tendencies, but still. They're friends and he does care about her. I think getting thrown into prison to break her out demonstrates this point.) Even when the fam corner her and ask if she's ok, it never continues into a productive conversation - either she deflects or it gets awkward fast because they don't know how to reply to what she's said and it never goes anywhere. She's such a repressed mess I don't know how anyone interprets her as genuinely happy. (Just to note before anyone thinks I'm hating, I do love 13. She's pretty high up on my list of favourite Doctors.)

Now (the main reason why I wanted to make this post), to explain why I think Donna is kind of the perfect person for the Doctor to go to to stop and rest and heal. (Disclaimer - 10 and Donna are my favourites. While I love them a whole lot, I am trying to be fair when I think about this. Please keep that in mind.)

Of the NuWho companions, after crossing off the people that are dead, not on this Earth/universe, and left of their own volition; you are left with Donna and Yaz.

(I'm struggling to keep things kind of concise, so I'm going to make a list that is hopefully comprehensive.)

I'm going to start with Yaz, and I do like her, but I'm gonna outline why I don't think she would be a good option.

Yaz is young. She's in her early 20's, and as someone who is also in their early 20s, I'm gonna straight up say that helping someone rest and recover through lifetimes (multiple!) of trauma is not something Yaz is going to be equipped to handle.

Yaz has only just started her life. She's driven and loves the adventures she's had with the Doctor, so much so that she stayed with the Doctor after everyone else left. Yaz would get as restless as the Doctor, resulting in either more adventures or resentment.

Yaz is in love with her. We get the scenes where the Doctor says she would but can't, and in them Yaz looks heartbroken. If the circumstances were different then maybe they could have, but they're not so they can't. Yaz needs time to heal her heartbreak, which she can't really do if the Doctor is still around (and whether or not the Doctor is 13, they're still the Doctor and would still be difficult for Yaz. Also difficult for the Doctor bc she did love Yaz but her fear and trauma was unfortunately too much for her to risk it).

Just to repeat, I think Yaz should have been mentioned in the episode. It doesn't make sense for someone who the Doctor has explicitly stated they loved not to be mentioned.

And here are the reasons why I think Donna was the good choice.

Donna and the Doctor make each other better during their run together. Donna reminds him that he can do good, even if the impact is small. The Doctor shows her that she matters, and is brilliant.

Although he doesn't know it at the time, the Doctor is given an opportunity to save Donna and return her memories, undoing one of the things he has massive guilt over.

Donna is someone who has settled down. She has a house, a husband, a kid. She knows what it's like to go a bit crazy being stuck in one place (even if not for the same reasons). She has the ability and experience to help the Doctor through it. She is also someone who will enforce his rest and healing while knowing what it's like to want to be doing something.

Donna also comes with an added support system because her family is pretty close knit, with a particular spotlight on Wilf ('I'd be proud to have you as a father', anyone?).

This so pretty long and if you're still here then thanks for reading! Mainly I wrote it to put my thoughts out there so I don't explode. If you have any thoughts about this and are gonna be nice about it, then feel free to add to this post :)

#doctor who #doctor who special #the giggle #long post #discussion #im kinda nervous posting this bc i dont want people to be rude about my opinions and interpretations but. im gonna explode if i dont post i #here we go i guess lol

[matan4il]

Hiii Alice! Hope you're well! 🥰️

I read your meta for 6x14 and you wrote something that hit me: "...healing isn’t linear. He was advancing with some things, but in 614, faced with his aunt’s ambush, he feels cornered back into a place he’s been in before, a place that left its scars on him, and Eddie regresses. Which is okay!"

I don't know why but I felt like I needed to see that today. Personally, I just keep falling back into old habits of wanting to be liked by everyone and I tend to just agree with everything and do things so that I can be in their good graces. And not because I'm scared of them but because I really enjoy their friendship and just want to keep the joy that we have.

It was a lot worse when I was younger and in school (which was a whole different ball park) but sometimes I don't realise that I'm falling back into that pattern of being a 'yes-man'.

But seeing what you wrote about regressing and that healing isn't linear, it just hit me and I felt like I needed to see that 💜.

Sorry for hitting you with something personal alongside your buddie meta but I just wanted to say thank you for writing that :)

Sky, my love! *HUGS* Thank you so much for this ask. Beyond the fact that I am always thrilled to hear from you, it just also makes me so happy to know that my 614 meta had a personal meaning for you. i am SO grateful to you for sharing with me!

If it helps, this is true for ALL of us, we all experience these little setbacks from time to time. What's good is that you're aware of yours, so you can make conscious decisions about them. You can look at these moments and choose to believe in how lovable you are (BECAUSE YOU ARE) and that people will continue to treasure your friendship even when you're not their 'yes-man' and that you have every right to be yourself and express your views. They're no lesser than anyone else's! But at the same time, keep in mind that many of us in relationships do this to a degree. Decide that a certain opinion is not worth a discussion, so there's no need to vocalize it at a certain point in time, or that we're cool with just expressing regarding a specific thing what we agree on rather than what we disagree on. It's normal, and is all about balance. Finding the place where you feel most comfortable, where you know you did express yourself, so you know the friendship is real and your friends like you for you, not for an illusion of you, but at the same time that you don't push yourself to express things in the name of expressing yourself. Life is an act of balance, which is always a challenging thing, ALWAYS. For everyone. We have to go through the challenge repeatedly. The good news is, that means we have an almost endless number of opportunities to try again until we feel like we're getting it right.

I wanna wish you all the happiness, my darling! Thank you so much for the joy you bring others, and don't hesitate to make the choices that will bring you the same. I love you and I'm here for you if I can help in any way! As always, my ask tag. xoxox

#buddie #911meta #buddie meta #911 meta #9-1-1 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #edmundo diaz #evan buck buckley #personal #fandom love #all the love to you my beautiful friend #ask #skylessnights #HUGS #911onabc #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc

[tuiyla]

Can I ask how you feel about platonic Samtana? Both in the context of the show and fanon. I think the golden retriever and black cat energy is soooo fun, especially when it’s chaotic best friends rather than lovers.

Sure thing, Anon.

So Samtana used to be one of my favourite Santana broships, probably the favourite at one point tbh. I've since then started having conflicted feelings about Sam and that's the main reason I'm of two minds on Samtana, too. I guess I just... don't Love Sam when really thinking about his character in the context of the whole show. Rewatching season 2 I remembered that oh yeah he's actually pretty cool there and a ch I could get behind but I think the flip-flopping with who he actually was is overall to the detriment, well if not his whole character then certainly my perception of him. By no means do I hate him but I find a lot of the things most of the fandom considers endearing and charming pretty annoying. Put another way, I'd like to view him as a golden retriever, I'm just not sure that's my actual reading of him as presented in canon. That's not to say he can't be that to you or anyone else, mind.

I had that whole disclaimer about Sam himself because it informs how I feel about the Samtana friendship. I'd like to love them and you know, I believe there's a version, more like a headcanon version that I do love. Just as I can make any Santana friendship work in my head because I have a primal need for it. Sad thing is, I'd like to think they had an actual bro thing going on in season 3 and the sweet scene in 3x08 is exactly how I want their dynamic to be. But then season 4 happened and Bram happened and, you know. And to be clear, even in the context of the Samtana friendship I don't think Bram is inherently and wholly the problem itself, I think it's the execution. And how obnoxious Sam was about the whole thing, and how Samtana have virtually no interaction past that season 4 finale therefore not giving me anything to base a later friendship revival on. So I suppose that's the show side of things. I'd love to touch more on the main beats they get in canon, particularly season 2, but I feel like that'd be a different convo we absolutely can have another day.

But. I like to believe in Glee friendship and I especially love Santana broships. The show can pry them from my dead cold hands. So in terms of fanon, I still am for a Samtana friendship. The golden retriever/black cat energy feels apt lol, in a way. In my headcanon, Samtana's main point of connection is what we see in that one 3x08 scene, that Sam sees Santana's insults for what they are. I just, love the idea of Sam laughing it off and seeing through her, seeing that she really did miss him so much. Santana is in desperate need of people who see through her bullshit and Sam, for the most part, seems so impervious to Santana's silly insults. And that's a really fun dynamic for me where Santana wouldn't ever admit it but she grows fond of Sam's quirks and the things she calls lame about him, and despite the harsh front she puts up Sam still likes hanging with her because oh, Santana, she's just being funny. Look at their library scene in Comeback, they could have been such a hilarious duo where Santana tries her best to really offend Sam but half the time he doesn't even get what the burn is supposed to be.

Related to this but on an entirely headcanon level, I like to think of Santana as a secret dork. Well, not so secret if we're honest, but also a bit of a closeted nerd. And unlike the flannel closet this ain't one she's coming out of, but she does eventually bond with Sam over nerdiness when opinions just sort of start to spill out of her, revealing that she knows more about Sam's topics than she cared to admit. These conversations about favourite superheroes and such are always framed with Santana being in opposition to Sam because she only cares to discuss nerd culture when she vehemently disagrees with his takes. Sam doesn't mind because in these rare instances when she reveals she does know and care about nerd stuff, "lame" stuff, Santana shows such a genuine, unfiltered part of herself. And Sam just thinks that's neat. In public, she ruthlessly makes fun of him for impressions and Navi speak and all that but in private she will fight him on Captain America Civil War. A bit like this cute fanart that @randomcanbian had commissioned.

So... platonic Samtana, you say? Canon kind of soured it for me, as is the way with Glee, but I still believe and despite it all I evidently still hold it close to my heart. If only in my own headcanon, but still. I'm not sure how the brotana ships rank for me rn but I guess I'm always gonna hold a soft spot for Samtana even when I'm not sure how to feel about Sam. I think that damn "I missed you too, Santana" scene sealed it for me.

#santana is the kind of person who'd say she's too pretty to watch marvel #and yet she somehow has very strong opinions #in terms of canon we frown upon canon #in terms of fanon we go wild #anon #samtana #glee friendships #santana asks #glee asks #sam evans #anti sam evans #JUST to be safe okay

[incarnadinedreams]

One of the things that sucks about having such a divided fandom is that it kinda makes it feel like discussion 'across the gap' is pointless. This is the only fandom that I have ever actually blocked people in.

When someone comments on a post in a seemingly mostly innocuous way, and then you look at their blog and it's all anti stuff and it's like. Do you bother having the discussion knowing it'll go nowhere and they're probably just baiting you, or do you try to engage and hope it's the 1% chance it'll actually be an interesting discussion?

I still feel some sort of weird guilt over it because on principle it feels a bit wrong to cultivate an echo chamber. But also, it's fandom and it's just for fun and in this fandom it's not fun to engage.

I am just Old Enough to remember forum discussions where we'd spend 20+ pages debating something, it'd be knock down drag out and sometimes get heated, but it never felt bad or personal the way anti nonsense in the MDZS fandom does. I don't know if it's just different age demographics or taste preferences (most of my other fandoms have been dark to grimdark fantasy novels where literally nobody cares about morality that much, or anime/manga series where literally nobody cares about morality that much, or games in fantasy settings with dark themes... where nobody cares about morality that much... etc). Is it the romance element? The translation factor (being that I'm primarily interacting with English-language fans and so we're always a step or five removed from truly understanding the source material).

This is the only fandom I've been in where some people seem to impute some sort of moral judgement based on character preferences and it's wild to me. That's never happened with other books I've discussed. For example, one of the most universally loved characters in western dark fantasy is Glokta (from Joe Abercrombie's The First Law trilogy, which I read and enjoyed but am not like a super fan of - as a whole it was just okay for me - however Glokta specifically is an absolute stand-out as a character). Everyone I know loves Glokta, even my vegan friend who literally rescues bunnies as a hobby.

Glokta is just Literally Worse than Jiang Cheng in pretty much every way (love him for that). And yet 'I love Glokta' is one of the most unanimous, bland, and uncontroversial declarations you can make on a fantasy discussion board/subreddit. Even people who didn't particularly care for the books like Glokta. At best you'll have people say "eh, it just crossed a line for me when he did XYZ so I can't like him" but not "oh my god you're a horrible person for liking him, you're a TORTURE APOLOGIST!!!"

I don't mind being told I'm wrong about a point (with some sort of evidence) or 'hey, does this passage from page X change your interpretation if you reread it in Y context?' or whatever. Even among people who enjoy Jiang Cheng there are a variety of takes and flavors and points on various things and I enjoy the debates and different angles very much! Sometimes I find myself liking interpretations that directly dovetail with my own; not necessarily contradictory, but a reading that's going off in a very different direction.

But there's a certain point at which it feels pointless to engage, where it's just never going to be productive or interesting because the underlying reading is just fundamentally so different that it feels like a truly separate book.

Anyway the point is that I don't mind being disagreed with but sorry if I block you after seeing that all your reblogs are anti stuff because at this point taking the bait will just trigger all of my "someone is WRONG on the INTERNET!!!!" reflexes or whatever and ain't nobody got time for that.

Edit: oops, I left out a word...

[sojourner-between-worlds]

Do tell about John Piper! I don’t know much about him other than that Calvinists like him.

OKAY SO. Yeah, he's like the chief of 5-Point Calvinist Theologians. Really the only reason I've read much from him is because a friend (who shall remain nameless unless she chooses otherwise) was having huge issues reading his stuff and was asking me about stuff he'd written and if I agreed with it. I'm, like, a solid 3.5 Calvinist, myself, but that doesn't help me like him honestly, lol.

For the record: Sometimes he says good and helpful things. Sometimes I agree with him. Sometimes. Not that long ago he answered a question about how much jewelry is appropriate for women to wear. Given the title, I was very prepared to be absolutely incensed by his answer, but after reading it...sometimes the dude just needs to work on his titles because I did actually agree with this answer. (Which, if you wondered, he said there's nothing wrong with wearing jewelry; the title came from the question that was asked, which was very misleading.)

All that being said, he also sometimes says really stupid things -- and I'm not talking about things I disagree with from a theological (tenets of Calvinism) prospective. After all, we can still learn a lot by listening to or reading things from people we don't agree with. Rather, sometimes he makes it very clear he does not understand that not all brains work the same way, aka being neurodivergent.

I made that meme quite a while ago in response to a question he received from someone wanting to know how to encourage their autistic Christian friend. One thing he said in response was that the person should not use Scriptures like Psalm 139: 13-16 (the infamous "fearfully and wonderfully made" verses). His reasoning? That applies to everyone, even the most terrible people in the world, like Hitler. Therefore, it is not encouraging to hear that.

So let me tell you a little story about why that advice makes me so upset:

Back when I had just figured out I'm autistic, for some reason or another the #actuallyautistic tag here on tumblr was -once again- talking a whole lot about a ten-year-old ad from Autism Speaks titled "I am Autism" and how horrendous it is (and how we should never let them forget about it when they tried to bury it, which I agree, but that's another rant about how terrible AS is and why no one should support them). Curiosity got the better of me and I looked it up on YouTube. I couldn't even process it the first time. I was so shocked. So I watched it a second time, and then promptly broke down sobbing. (A friend of mine could only stomach watching about the first 30 seconds of it before she turned it off. That should tell you everything right there.) I had never felt so dehumanized in my entire life, and you wanna know what brought me comfort after watching that? Reading Psalm 139, particularly the above verses.

The thing Piper doesn't understand is this: the rest of the world is busy telling us that we're "put together wrong" or that we're "broken" and no one is telling us that's not true. Sometimes when we're struggling it's nice to hear someone remind us that we were created exactly as God intended us to be. (Another good passage, fyi, is Moses and the burning bush, where Moses says he's not good at speaking and God's rebuttal is "is it not I who created the blind and the deaf the way they are?" Yeah. That's a piece of my pastor's sermon from two years ago that still sticks with me, thank-you-very-much.)

That is why it makes me angry. Because people will follow his advice and start not telling us something that we need to hear simply because it's not something he has ever taken comfort in so apparently he cannot fathom anyone else taking comfort in it either.

I'm sure there are probably other articles he's written or answers he's given that have also gotten my goat, but the other big thing that gets me is his recently published book where he asserts that if you don't feel affection towards God then you aren't saved.

On the one hand, I do get his point: having a head-knowledge that God is real and the Bible is true is NOT the same as having saving faith.

But I have two problems with Piper's take on this: 1. Many ND folks (not all, of course, but I am in this category) don't experience emotions or feelings the same way as every one else. Which means affection -- especially the way Piper seems to be describing in his book -- can be a bit of a foreign concept. Speaking solely for myself, I do not feel affection -- at least not in the way you are supposedly supposed to, according to Piper. Having a head-knowledge of the Bible does not equal having faith but here's a crazy ND concept that escapes Piper: sometimes head-knowledge IS affection. I don't spend time on things I don't care about. I don't do deep-dives into topics on things I don't care about. I don't spend time on things that don't bring me joy. The knowledge I have shows where my affections lie, even if I don't experience affection as a feeling, the way Piper says you have to. 2. Affection does not equal love, and love is more important here. As an example: I love my husband very much. I don't always like him (sometimes he drives me nuts, that's just life, and I know I drive him nuts too, haha), but I do always love him. Comparatively, according to Piper, if I don't always feel affection (aka "like") my husband then I must not actually love him. And this is simply not true. Affection is a feeling; love is an action. I don't have to feel any one certain way in order to still love someone -- and that includes God.

I've said it once and I'll willingly say it as many times I have to: we can't rely on our feelings for assurance of salvation because (say it with me now!):

Feelings are Fickle.

And with this book, Piper has made salvation about feelings. So even from a neurotypical perspective, this book is a bad take. But it's even worse for ND folks who simply don't experience feelings the way NTs do. People are going to read this book and start thinking, "well, there's no way I'm saved because I don't feel the RIGHT way, the CORRECT way, the way PIPER is telling me I have to." And I don't think I need to explain further why that's damaging.

And these are just my personal gripes. Other ND friends (specifically the first one I mentioned) have all kinds of troubles reading his stuff, because of terrible wording or answers that aren't thorough enough or conflicting information from what he's said in the past compared to now.

He is, at best, a sincere but incredibly insensitive writer. But it doesn't matter how sincere he is because someone can be very sincerely damaging to other believers.

And someday he's going to have to answer for that.

#christianity #autistic christian #john piper #i'm sorry i wrote you a novel lol #thanks for the excuse though lol

[thekingofwinterblog]

Dragon Age Imperium - Chapter 3.

Grand Cleric Elthina did not look much different from when Hawke had last seen her in the Chantry in Hightown.

An average-looking old woman, in a black and red robe, streaked with gold.

The look she gave Hawke though, was far, far different than the last time. Far more inquisitive, and questioning.

"I do believe congratulations are in order."

"Thank you."

"I recall your mother quite well… I recall the scandal too, back when she ran off with a Ferelden apostate. And yet… Without that choice, Kirkwall would have fallen to the Qun… Fate has a roundabout sense of humor it would seem."

Elthina sighed.

"But we're not here to discuss matters from before you were even born… We are here to discuss the future. Tell me Viscount… Do you know what happened to your predecessor that preceded Dumar?"

"He must have died at some point I guess… Well, either that, or he abdicated and left town."

The woman neither laughed nor smiled.

"He died, yes. He was killed by Meredith, after trying to kick the Templars out of Kirkwall."

"Ah… I'm guessing this is the part where you tell me not to pick a fight with them."

"Not quite… But there is some of that, yes… I have been told that you signed off on letting Kirkwall's Elves leave for New Arlathan."

"That's right."

The old woman studied Hawke's face, though what she was looking for Hawke couldn't say.

"It's been a number of years since the Sabrae Clan came to our lands to petition Dumar to let the Elves leave… Meredith greatly disapproved, and Dumar did not agree… But neither did he staunchly refuse… To do so would be to show offense to the Monarchs of Ferelden… And so he vassalated on the issue, refusing to give an answer one way or another."

"I'm well aware. One of my friends is a girl called Merill. She's from the Sabrae clan. I probably would have gone through with it anyway… But I admit that friendship is the reason I signed off on it immediately."

"You should thank her then. The choice to get this over with now was a good one."

The woman looked down.

"Meredith… Was an old friend of mine… I mourn her loss greatly… But I firmly disagreed with her stance on the Elven Question."

As she spoke, there was clear pain in her voice. So sharp it took Hawke aback.

She had kinda forgotten that as much as She and the mages of Kirkwall had hated her, a lot of people had liked Meredith.

Finally, Elthina looked up again, the sunlight from Hawke's window lighting her up like a torch.

"You need to get this done now before a new Knight Commander is appointed to Kirkwall. It might take a while. Or it might not."

"I'll admit… I did not think you would be a supporter of New Arlathan."

"I am not."

She said dryly.

"However, I am not fool enough to not understand that the world has changed. Every day, you hear of Elves doing everything, taking the greatest risks to flee the lands of their birth, to flee their Alienages, all to try and reach their new promised land… And every week, there is a new tale of Elves doing that, ending up as Tevinter slaves at the hands of their smugglers, being strung up along the road by lords and villagers, or small Alienages being set alight by the masses and local lords, that all fear the idea of this new state. That led by their Mage King it's going to become a new, terrible nation… A mixture between blood-sacrificing Tevinter and the Heathen Dales… It is absolute nonsense and fearmongering… But the corpses that fear produces are very real... Fear and hatred have taken root all over Thedas… That is not going to change, regardless of how much some want this new Elven country to just vanish. Elves will continue to flee the persecution that is only becoming worse and worse… and they will continue to do so, so long there is a place to flee. I would say it is far preferable to have it happen controlled, and safely. Better that, than those poor souls ending up in Tevinter."

"That's… Rather reasonable of you."

The woman smiled.

"You don't need to dance on eggshells on the topic Viscount… I know how most of the chantry feels on the matter… They see only the danger, rather the opportunity… The city Elves who flee are Andrastian. They will not abandon that faith, as they find a homeland of their own. In time, the myth of the Elves' ancient gods will fade… And the flame of Andraste will burn proudly in the Kingdom."

"Provided it survives. History could repeat itself."

"Indeed. I rather doubt it though. The Bracilian forest is… Not the Dales. It is not rich in resources, and it does not have good farmland. There is little non-religious incentive to try to conquer it, nor would doing so be easy, or even likely. Not to mention the Kingdom's alliance with Orzammar…"

"Orzammar? Not Ferelden?"

"No… Orzammar is the source of all Lyrium in the world. It is thus a far, far greater shield against any Exalted March than Ferelden could ever be. Unless something very drastic changes… There will not be an exalted march on the New Arlathan."

"That's… A good point actually."

"Yes. Regardless… The point stands. Get it done as quickly as you can."

This had… Not been how she'd assumed this conversation would go. Frankly, she had assumed this would go the way Bran liked to do things. Boring and simple.

"Now then… With that out of the way… I was led to believe that you wished to… Change Kirkwall's statues."

Ah, finally. Back in her element.

"Indeed! I Have always wondered why Kirkwall has so many Tevinter statues across the city. I have no idea why any follower of Andraste would wish to keep those monstrosities around. Or all those rusty spike fences and rails! What's the point of those?"

"It is meant as a warning… A reminder of what Andraste freed us from, and what we must fight… But I do agree with the sentiment. What do you intend to do with them? I must warn you if you intend to melt them down for coin, don't bother. Despite their appearances, they are made of brass."

"Oh don't worry about that. I have plenty of coin… Both from my own adventures and journeys, as well as Dumar's old fortune."

This actually made the Grand Cleric smile.

"Yes… Another ironic turn. Greed and ambition, supposedly the worst of sins, might be what changes this city for the better…"

"I certainly hope so. It would really tick me off if everything I'm Planning to do gets reversed in the end. Anyway… So you don't mind me getting rid of those hideous Tevinter statues?"

"No. I'm Assuming you're planning on replacing them though?"

"I am! Not sure of what though… They can't all be replaced with Andraste and myself… Any suggestions?"

It had been one of her usual jests, but Ethina responded like it was a serious question.

"Try local heroes. My flock loves those. Especially our Grand Tourney winners. Oh, right… I must warn you, that while I might not have any issues with it, I would advice NOT to try the same with the Gallows… Or the Twins. They are Templar property."

"I'll keep that in mind."

---

The hanged man was its usual mess. A true dive in every sense of the word.

Its inhabitants, both regulars, occasional, newcomers, and one-time offs tended to be a very sketchy lot.

"So Daisy, how does it feel to finally finish your job?"

The fact that some of those regulars were now personal friends of the Viscount, did not change that.

"Oh, just amazing! Though it's sad I'm not going with them…"

Right… the blood magic and all. Hawke might not mind… But this Elven King was a different story.

"I'm sorry… Maybe Hawke can pull some strings though? Get you a pardon maybe?"

Merill smiled but shook her head.

"That's… Very nice of you Varric… But I knew what I was getting into when I started fixing the mirror like I did… I'll survive. I have Hawke after all. And you too. It's not that bad."

He could tell that despite her words, Daisy wasn't exactly as happy about the prospect as she tried to be. She did seem happy that the talks of letting the elves leave for new Arlathan had finally yielded results.

"So, how's the mood in the Alienage? People dancing in the streets for joy?"

"Some are… But it's a lot more varied than I thought it would be… Some are actually angry they have to leave Kirkwall for the new Elven homeland… Can you believe that? Do you think it's because Hawke won't be there?"

"Somehow I doubt that, Daisy."

It probably had something to do with being uprooted from their home, to join a community of Elves they had never met, to serve a king they had never seen, and live in a cursed forest.

Amongst Kirkwall's 12 000 elves, there were bound to be some who were apprehensive about it, even if it did mean they no longer had to live in an Alienage with all of what that entailed.

"So most people aren't happy about it?"

"Oh no, a lot are. Many are really looking forward to leaving. They want to get away from the poisonous gas attacks, the Humans, the serial killers, and the blood mages... Oh right…"

She had seemingly only realised the implication of that last one when she said it out loud.

"Varric… Have you ever been to the Bracilian forest?"

"Can't say I have. Before I met Hawke, I had barely ever left the city. I'm a… City Dwarf at heart.

"Oh, that's sooo sad… But anyway, I still remember the forest… I've never been to the place the capital is built at though… It's around this ancient ruin the King discovered when he was still fighting the blight with the Hero of Ferelden. It used to be infested with Werewolves I hear."

"Yeah, that sounds about right for the Fereldens' cursed forest."

"I know! They call them dog lords, but they're not dog-like… Like the Qunari aren't much Ox-like either… But anyway, the capital palace is this ancient temple that goes deep, deep underground… And that's where the King discovered an ancient black orb, with the spirit of an ancient mage warrior inside of it… And through it, he learned the arts of the Arcane Warrior, the old Elvhen mages who mixed plate armor, Magic, and sword. All our Mages are taught like that now… Not me though… My clan volunteered to go north to Kirkwall before I could learn it. Now the mission is nearly over… And yet I never will."

He patted her on the back… Or as much as he could through her armor anyway.

"I'm sorry Daisy."

"Thank you..."

They sat in silence for a while… Or rather the background noise of the Hanged Man being its usual, loud and boisterous self.

Besides them, Fenris was lying over the counter, snoring loudly.

He had been drinking himself into oblivion the last few days, over the same topic he and Merill had been discussing.

Unlike her, he had taken the news that Kirkwall's elves would be joining a state ruled by a mage, with utter disdain.

He'd get over it eventually.

"What about you Varric? Hawke's says you've been reading a lot up about Orzammar lately…"

"Well… It's not quite the same. I have no interest in moving there… It's a good story though… Not to mention I noticed there's a point on the Deep Roads maps I recognize… From our expedition."

This perked her right up, though not quite with either fear or excitement. More of a mixture of worry and surprise.

"Do you think they'll find the old Thaig? The one with the red Idol in it?"

"Nah… Not to mention we scoured that clean, remember? No, I'm much more interested in the fact that if Orzammar's Armies keep pushing North, their control over the deep roads is soon going to reach the point where they'll have direct access to the path leading to the Entrance at Sundermount."

"Oh! That's good isn't it?"

"Sure is. Lots of trade to be made if we can ship directly to Orzammar… Provided that's where they push next. There's… A lot of other directions they can go."

"You should arrange something with Hakwe, Varric! I'm sure the Viscount of Kirkwall could influence that."

"Way ahead of you Daisy… But we'll see how it goes."

---

Of Hawke's personal circle, it was anything but unusual to find her friends hanging out together.

There were unusual pairings though, who almost never interacted except when together with Hawke herself.

Of those, the only more unusual pairing than the one currently waiting together for her at her own estate was Fenris and Anders, who got along about as well as a Ferelden and Orlesian.

Isabella was doing the usual when she was bored, waiting for Hawke to come. Lean up against the railing, walk about, inspect her own nails, and the decorum of Hawke's rather nice house.

Meanwhile, Sebastian was simply sitting in a chair leaning back, a glass of water in his hand from which he occasionally took a sip.

Finally, having had enough of waiting, Isabella took the word.

"How much longer do you think we'll have to wait?"

"Oh, an hour or two more mayhaps."

"Ugh… What's taking her so long?"

"Duties of state I imagine. She'll have a lot less free time going forward."

"Ugh..."

"What did you want to talk to Hawke if I may ask?"

"Her hiring me on as a privateer."

The way she spoke it, made it rather obvious she had massive reservations about it.

"Why does it bother you so?"

"I just… I just don't like binding myself to something. Or people for that matter."

He smiled.

"That ship set sail when you came back with the book I'm afraid."

"More the fool I."

"It was brave, coming back to face the Qunari."

"It was idiotic. They would have killed me. If it hadn't been for Hawke anyway…"

"And you returned anyway. You couldn't face the thought of so many innocents dying for something you could prevent."

"Tell that to the Viscount."

Sebastian understood her, far more than the buccaneer probably understood.

"It's frightening, isn't it? To realize you have the potential to be a better person?"

"I didn't do it to be some hero, I did for Hawke…"

That was probably true… But it wasn't the whole truth, he could tell.

"Even if you only did it for a friend, that is a good start. It's not nothing Isabella. And Hawke has rewarded you with a ship has she not?"

"Yeah… One of the old Viscount's old War Galleys… It's not the kind I'd prefer, but it's a good ship. And more than enough coin to hire on a crew."

"If you truly don't wish to swear yourself into Hawke's service, all you need to do is go down to the docks and hire on a crew, set sail, and never return. You could easily become a regular pirate again with what Hawke has given you."

She glared at him.

"If I did that, I'd be stabbing Hawke in the back."

"And you're not prepared to do it, yes? It's scary… Realizing you have loyalties to someone else… Someone you trust, and admire. That you can't pretend to be alone in the world anymore."

He could tell he had hit the nail head-on with the expression she got from that comment.

She didn't reply though, instead leaving the room behind, and walking out to the entrance room.

He did not hear the sound of her opening the door, so she hadn't left though. She still needed to talk to Hawke, just as he did.

He was pretty sure she would accept Hawke's letter though, and become a privateer in the Narrow Sea.

She had made her real choice back in the throne room. Whatever doubts she might have now, were just embers that would give way before the storm that was Hawke.

Chapter 2 - Chapter 4

#dragon age 2 #dragon age #hawke #grand cleric elthina #isabela #da2 #sebastian vael