#<- ? i guess. who knows. doesnt rly matter tbh

[yangjeongin]

6 YEARS WITH STRAY KIDS — #Youtiful6YearsOfSKZ

#stray kids #createskz #bystay #ot8 #*mary #what are our tags i can't remember . #*gfx #<- ? i guess. who knows. doesnt rly matter tbh #good morning. had to rush home just so i could caption and add tags to this cause i forgot to last night before i left. #i feel like i was a bit ambitious with this but somehow it didn't turn out as bad as it could have LOL #i think if i hadn't postponed doing this for so long i couldve added more things and polished a few others but it is what it is ! #anyway. #thank you for giving me peace and happiness when i need it. 💙

[zushimart]

I think him not deleting himself is a better way for the story when it comes to meeting the people he's affected, I just think that the way he deleted himself was better way for the story for himself. I think they handled his attempted suicide and attempt to fix things really well, because not only does it show that you can't actually change the past or future of teyvat unless you're an alien variable, but also that he was willing to take his life for a person he spent hundreds of years "hating" just because he learned they didn't betray him. It just fits really well with how he still hadn't moved on from the death of the first people who let him exist as himself.

I'm explaining this kinda messy because I'm hungry rn :/ but what I mean is I think what they did with the story was the best for both teyvat lore in general and also his own self, but if he's to meet the inazuma squad in an event or something I think it's gonna be kinda messy to write it well. Like maybe they'll just include a line that's like "oh yeah the traveller told me about you etc etc" and I don't really want that, but I also don't want one of those black background white text "wanderer explains what he did in the past" so even though I really like the way it's written I'm kinda worried for the conclusion of his own arc (kaedehara buddhist enlightenment) because I can't think of a way to show it well without it being either very long or anticlimactic

YESSSS i agree with you onn that. i think ive talked about how i do like (from a storytelling perspective, not.. you know.. LOL) the severity and SWIFTNESS of his decision to erase (kill) himself. it was very stomach-dropping in the moment if you were someone that already cared about him. i actually remember putting the game down and walking over to my roommate to just sit in silence for a little bit LMFAOOO. it exemplifies how impulsive & swayed by emotion he is and just how deeply his self hatred motivates his actions as well as his EXTREME DESIRE to love and trust others (and how he felt like he couldnt for so so so long). but i also think it effectively shook any mistaken preconceptions other players might have had if they werent as invested in his character (people who thought he was irredeemably evil or inherently malicious in character, it's pretty hard to believe that about someone who can regret their actions so much and so quickly and immediately try to correct what he's done at his own expense). i'll try and go find & reblog my initial thoughts ab the quest tbh i wanna go reread what i wrote.

from like an authorial perspective, erasing himself from irminsul feels very much like one of those "i want to write this so bad because i think it is a fascinating development for this character, but it does not fit in with what i want to do with this character in the future and therefore might be more trouble than its worth as it undermines other plot points i would like to achieve with this character" which when i encounter that i usually write the scene to get the inspiration OUT but treat it as a separate timeline or a "what if."

this is legit completely personal opinion so it doesnt rly fucking matter at all but i honest to god don't find "no matter what you do, the past cannot be changed" something to be particularly interesting. so i guess thats why i have so many qualms with this direction. maybe its bc like. duh. to me. and maybe bc im not particularly invested in the overall story, so i didn't catch anything it might move along in the traveler's development. So i guess thats why im a believer in 'this could have been done differently and better. some Other way for him to find out about niwa.' especially because i've already had a myriad of qualms with the storytelling regarding scara before this point. so my perspective is a bit warped by opinions .

i think i just HATTTE the clunkiness that i expect to follow in regards to his character relationships. like there is something so uncomfortable about it to me like, i just.. u word it very well. it's gonna be Messy. and im always stressed about "messy," especially because i already felt like the storytelling behind his resolution was Already messy. the quest itself re-iterated his past .. so many times... i remember getting Annoyed... (through a) already accessible lore, b) that stupid academic paper, c) irminsul scene d) the "storybook", ANDDD e) re-living his memories... it felt very repetitive, almost overkill to me). so im just dreading what's to come especially if has to re-hash things to characters in-game that have already been explained to the player literally four sometimes five times over. i just want to get to new developments, NEW plot-points, NEW storylines and i want them to be COMPELLING and i want him to develop COMPLEX and MOVING and STRONG character relationships.

#AOEUHGHHH #this is probably just a symptom of caring more ab a single character than the overall story he is a part of tbh #cuz we all know idgaf ab genshin like that #tw suicide

[james-fun-in-the-sunderland]

all main 4:

16, 35, 39, 44, 54, 62, 64, 69

for party q’s, u can either do just main 4 to answer or like full rebellion or like . main 4 pcs and npcs.. up 2 u!

omg hi zee 👋 obligatory link back to tha ask game post

16. What keeps them going?

Swords: not to be corny but hope and love :) she has hope that everything will work out in the end and is also very driven by the people around her!! helping them out, giving them hope in hopes that theyll give her the hope she needs in return almost... w2 moments

Wiz: WHAT DOES KEEP THIS GUY GOING????? LACK OF DEATH MAINLY I GUESS. and moreso honestly... its because of his inability to really genuinely step away from any self imposed duty that he has. if he has obligation, even if he REALLY doesnt want to do it, he will do his best to see it through to the end. sometimes these obligations are self made tho and thats where some issues crop up bc people are like u dont have to . and hes like I HAVE TO. but i will complain the entire time bc god i wanna just chill instead.

Daggers: the belief that one day she will figure everything out, things will make sense to her, she will get the love that she deserves, and she will be happy... even if she does get this though theres not much holding her back from not believing it and keeping going... shes a bit selfish but thats ok thats fun hehe. I think one day she will get it and be satisfied and then what will keep her going is ... keeping that up. u kno? gotta hold up appearances

Hook: justice. genuinely and truely, they want justice for the world and for themselves and for their brother. previously before the pcs got their brother back to them it would have been u kno, getting their brother back but now theyre like ok revenge time. i want everyone who made me suffer to suffer now thanks . they will not rest until the rebellion is successful and them and their brother can get nice little cottages out in the mountains and live happily :) no fear of anything ...

aaaand im putting the rest under the cut bc otherwise this post WILL be a million miles long

35. Do they consider themselves childish/mature for their age?

Swords: mature! she thinks shes more mature than most people she meets, the only exception would be any mentor figures in her life, like you know, henrietta, her grandmother, etc. but generally if she meets someone shes like i know more and am more mature than u. this especially applies to those in the rebellion

Wiz: he likes to think mature, or even just like on equal footing w people around his age, but he knows hes childish for his age :( really the only person he really genuinely thinks hes more mature than is his brother and even with him hes like 'ok but thats mainly bc i literally am older than him'. wiz has issues ✌

Daggers: mature, she puts on a front that seems more childish and naive but inside shes like all you bitches are so childish i care about REAL iissues. like . how i am soso mentally ill and have issues. and the govt and the world. sooooo im more mature.

Hook: TBH, hook doesnt rly think theyre childish OR mature for their age, they find themself on pretty equal footing no matter who theyre talking to bc theyre like pretty casual and prefer to like have equality between ppl theyre talking to and like dont care at all about filling in roles, like being more of a mentor figure OR being someone who is menteed you know? but theyre mature for their age, especially when they were a child, growing up on the streets with no parents and a little brother will do that to you ✌

39. What does your character believe their party lacks?

Swords: For the rebellion well . its a little obvious, theres no real direction to it still!! most of the other things the rebellion lacks though has recently been fulfilled since the pcs came back and picked out a lil hq location :) theres also a part of her that thinks the rebellion without henrietta will always be lacking something and all of that but shes !! working on it !!

Wiz: also thinks the rebellion lacks a clear direction, and that it lacks people who genuinely care about the cause and arent just doing this to puppet the old rebellions corpse to get it to success. hes WORKING on the direction part. being the leader and all . but its still hard since there is no real unified vision of the rebellion anymore, just anecdotes of the old one. Wiz would rather the rebellion either not exist at all or that people forgot about the old one. too bad its almost a requirement that the old rebellion be brought up and people from it to join for the success of this one <3

Daggers: being that she hasnt ever had experience being in a group like this before, idk if she has much of a thought on what it lacks! maybe people that focus more on details instead of the big picture, which is how it feels rn, everthings kind of vague and depersonalized, which worked back when it was small but now its getting bigger and people might get lost in all of this bustle... u kno?

Hook: basically a conglomerate opinion of all the previous ones. Hook honestly doesnt care too too much about the rebellion as a whole, and mainly just hopes that it never lacks the ability for the to have some independence, that they can do what they need to do and nobody will hold them back.

44. How do they hold onto people?

this is such an interesting q... many ways to interpret this...

Swords: GUILT!!!! swords is pretty openly a manipulator honestly when it comes down to this. its not even conscious honestly. she doesnt want people to ever leave her bc it makes her feel a bit worthless and stuff so she just tries her best to make sure people stick around :) in whatever ways she possibly can ! this all only really happens if she can tell people are like distancing themselves from her tho btw.. otherwise its business as usual!

Wiz: honestly. by being dependable. wiz only really knows how to exist when its deferential to another person. its partially why him being the leader has sucked but this also means that should he be shoved, he will get stuff done. and he knows that people need people who can get stuff done, thus making him kinda indispensable. kinda manipulative but ummmm u guyys dont even know he . is . a little bit lmao . (btw this is also why he was a terrible brother <3) (also regardless of whether wiz likes someone or not, he tends to try and hold onto them... kinda cringe)

Daggers: by trying her best to be loveable. trying to mold herself into someone desireable that people will see as attractive and worthy of their time and attention. this model is mostly based on her sister who managed to hold the entirety of her family but its . not successful at all <3 but that doesnt mean she wont stop trying to be her inauthentic self until her identity is purely based on what she thinks others enjoy. though, if she doesnt like someone, she wont try too hard to hold onto them

Hook: by taking care of them, chilling with them... being a good friend :) you can usually tell if they like you because theyll chill around u like a cat... and also like bring u thngs... again like a cat... theyre not too dissimilar from how wiz does but in a less like... deferential way and more of a parental way almost? it can ofc become deferential tho, and in most times if hook wants someone to like them, they will become very sort of... not subserviant but like... very obviously only doing things that will make them liked by that person and not caring much about themself? more selfless than selfish ! much like daggers, but going even farther, if hook knows someone doesnt like.. want to be held onto then they will let them go...

54. What is something they currently look forward to? What is something they dread?

Swords: shes looking forward to having the PCs back around and also getting this rebellion together!! shes excite to see where everything gets taken and their future victories, of course that also comes with the absolute dread of failure, of death and destruction happening to those she loves... so :)

Wiz: YOU GUYS ALREADY KNOW WHAT HES DREADING!! but for people who arent in this dnd game, wiz is soooososoo anxious abt his recent sudden multiclass into cleric bc he hates divinity and gods and everything and is like if i got possessed by a god its all over . and right when i was actually trying to be a good leader too 😭 I will say tho.. he is looking forward to the rebellion... maybe working out and having more people around... new people to meet and chat with... the pcs to be around and be silly... also he missed daggers <3

Daggers: She is looking forward to having more people around that she is much more familiar with, being able to chill after a long hard two missions in a row, and to be able to like... process everything in a more healthy way and like... u kno, having a support system instead of people she barely knows and who she knows dont like her very much... i think she is dreading a little bit like... actually moving past this all though? like who is she going to be when she actually moves past her grief and her fear of death and feeling like genuinely yes she is not a bad person for having accidentally killed someone... who will she be... shes a bit unsure and a bit nervous of that...

Hook: hook WAS looking forward to seeing their brother finally for the first time in like 10 years but then it happened and it was great!!! so now theyre looking forward to the past... looking forward to the rebellion being put together like it was before and being able to help people, fix things, be useful and not only to their siblings or to their friends! theres more people around, more things to do, more stuff to just get into... its gonna be fun ^-^ but i do think they dread losing people, probably are going to be very on people about like .. fortifying the hq so theres no chance they could lose their brother or anyone they care about ever again !!

62. Who does your character think is the most put together in the party?

Swords: in the rebellion? herself. She thinks shes mature, prepared, experienced, etc etc... the only thing is that if shes ever like... prodded on this or have to actually SHOW that shes most put together she will crumple <3 in the PCs party..... rushi probably! reminds her of her grandmother who was a big mentor figure in her life and so shes like :) she has it all under control :)

Wiz: in the rebellion........ probably nobody. in the pcs party ALSO NOBODY 🥳 he 1- has trust issues and 2- is very cynical and pessmistic, so not only is he like nah i dont think anyone really has it together, but he doesnt TRUST that anyone does. If you stretch . maybe at most he thinks jacques and talfryn both have something, but even then wiz is like theyre YOUNG theyll make dumb mistakes that show they have NOTHING together... but yea

Daggers: in the rebellion, wiz! shes very much like... hes the leader... ofc he has everything toegther... plus u know, hes a paternal figure to her and that makes her VERY biased in who she thinks to go to for anything or even just like... thinking about whos got it together. in the PCs party, probably talfryn. he reminds her of her older brother whos probably one of the most successful people in her family, plus hes got some like very good self assurance that really show her that hes got things under control.

Hook: in the rebellion....... themselves. and in the PCs party, nobody probably? I think that much like wiz, hook is a bit cynical, plus although they dont really show it, they are a bit self assured, they know what they can deal with, what they can do, and dont really trust that other people know that of themselves and that theyll easily overextend themselves u kno?

64. What is one thing they want each party member to know?

Swords: in the rebellion.... 🤔 probably she desperately wants daggers to know that she doesnt hate her, that she doesnt have any ill will towards her and in fact, would like her and hang out w her if she wasnt soooo touchy about things. in the PCs.... probably wants all them to really know that she wants to b closer to them and like appreciates them... i think swords really doesnt think people GET how much she apprecates them... or like enjoys their presence...

Wiz: in the rebellion..... you know what, i think both in the rebellion and in the PCs he wants people to know that he . is so sorry for being a lil shit <3 he doesnt really like ... talk in an earnest way so really any earnest feelings he has he would like people to know about and i think right now hes just like man. this could have been happening way earlier if i just had chilled out. like he doesnt recognize his mistakes in the moment and will often defend them but god forbid he actually apologize after the fact, he wishes he could just BEAM the knowledge of these apologies and everything into peoples minds.

Daggers: I think for both the pcs and the rebellion she probably would want them to know about her... to understand her in some kind of way so theres no real confusion when talking to them, and so maybe theyll be able to fully point her in the right direction when it comes to advice and stuff, bc she feels like ppl dont really truely KNOW her... or know HER u kno?

Hook: honestly . hook wishes that people would just . know how to communicate with them. im sure its probably really frustrating dealing with the PCs bc they have to do a less direct way of talking to them (through typing on their phone) bc like while theyre fast at typing they find it easier to just SIGN. and as far as the rebellion, they want wiz and probably swords too to know that theyre not like . going anywhere... even tho they have their brother back, theyre still there for wiz and swords... still able to be friends with them u kno?

69. Journey or Destination?

Swords: Journey! a very big believer in the whole dont cry because its over smile because it happened person, this isnt to say that she DOESNT cry because its over of course, she gets sad about the idea of the rebellion ending but is excited about it being successful! but ... of course she still does enjoy the thrills of victories and having people to support her through losses... etc... so she likes the journey more ^-^

Wiz: Journey, wiz dreads the destination always. the journey is more fun and everything is somewhat more stable somehow, but the destination is when everything ends, everyone goes home and the show is over.

Daggers: Destination, she values results more than what gets those results. plus most of the time she just finds journeys to be tedious and wants for any suffering to be over with immediately!! shes sick of it!! but also shes addicted to it so <3 even tho she desires the destination she may never get it bc she will always look for the destination u kno?

Hook: Destination, they just want to chill . please . plus journeys are dangerous and people do bad things and they do bad things and its just BAD. can we get to the part where we're all drinking margaritas with little umbrellas on the beach now? pls?

#FINALLY GOT THIS DONE . <3 #SORRY especially to the anon . i will answer ur qs soon... but for now.... zee gets a little treat 💖 #rev lore #dnd comeback #DW . I WILL WRITE A BIG POST ABT THIS GAME SOON #probably right after i solve some silt verses cyphers #ignore any spelling mistakes also pls

[magnoliamyrrh]

just in case i don’t want to talk abt this any more tw incest u could just delete this

horrific n downright wrong. i wanna say u n everyone else includin that anon did not deserve this n the collective u deserves so much more but i am so grateful seein people talk abt this. i was raised w the extreme pressure that my gen was goin to break the cycle of that type of abuse n i have to come to terms that we didn’t n that’s ok at least to me. it’s so hard to admit to n so impactful to say out loud but it’s what has to b done. it a type of trauma that’s been in my fam for many many yrs n i gaslight myself into believin that we broke it. i stayed in denial n tbh still am in denial bcuz it’s so hard to blame a fam member. esp for me a girl n a teenage girl at that. this isn’t always the universal reaction so there is no guilt if this isn’t the case or if it is but u still luv them no matter what they did it’s so hard to blame them. but sexual abuse is sexual abuse. i hope to god every day that when i have children that will b when the cycle is broken n it all stops but i will never put the verbal pressure on them the way my parents did. one of them was a victim of smthn v extreme so i do not blame them (there it is again) but it’s torture to feel like u let them down when u did nothin wrong. admitting is always the first step to healin. i’m so proud of u for talkin abt this n that anon n everyone else.

ya! i think even though its uncomfortable as hell and disturbing its important that we talk about it. thank you <3 im proud of everyone who pitched in too, and of you, thank u for sharing; its really not easy. i dont think this is the sort of thing we can heal from individually, you know? especially when its a cultural thing. theres so much shame and fear and repression surrounding this kind of stuff, and the only way were gonna heal from it is if, like u said, well start accepting it and talking about it

and yea youre right it is really hard. like my father crossed any possible line with what he did and he abuses his wife too and. i really just want him dead like i dont give a damn, i have to try to calm myself bc i get too focused sometimes on how much i actually want him to suffer. but even with him at times im like,,,, ,, eh but i still care abt him? i went through a whole phase where i felt like it was my responsabilites to help him or like heal him from how deranged he is lmao. but it doesnt last long. but with everyone else its different. (?) like. i realized like idk a year ago that uh yea my grandma did lowkey molest me and it actually made me feel fucking insane. i had no idea what do with it and i still dont?? and its fucked and definitely not ok but like...,,, we all pretend like its fine or just didnt happen i guess bc its,, normal? acceptable??? its weird as all hell, most of the time i just kinda try to not think abt it because i have no idea how to even feel abt the woman when i do. if anything as much as it definitely kinda fucked me up, im frankly way more pissed abt the physical abuse/beatings and endless insults and yelling and shit - like that actually probably did more damage to me. but still like idk yea i .. idk if i excuse it but i definitely explain it like oh she didnt know better etc etc etc. but that doesnt.. ugh it doesnt excuse it?? but i still love her and care for her?? its a fucking nightmare to try to detangle all that. and the shit w my mom too and other family members like uh yea it grosses me out and definitely got to me, this combination of being raised as property + controlling parents + sexualized + actually being whored out by father has k.o.d whatever mental sanity i could have had and it took me many years to.... idk. even start remotely working through all that. but. i still care abt them...?? i think the fact that its no longer happening and dont rly consider it on the same level as the shit w my dad makes it kinda different in my head but its still not fucking ok

and yea. definitely one of the hardest parts of it is being blamed for being uncomfortable/grossed out or even punished for being so when rly thats such a normal reaction to have to this shit. it is psychologically torturous and it is gaslighting and it rly fucks u up in the head..... and its really hard to get to the point where u dont feel like u did anything wrong or you werent to blame. i do presume that w this particular kind of shit tho a lot of it is that they probably went through similar stuff, internalized and repressed it, never dealt w it, and then just proceed to do the same

i hope to god too ill be different. i want to believe in both of us and this new generation that we'll do a better job. i think the fact that were even talking abt it shows some progress u kno. my mother and grandmother told me for many years that i wont do a better job than them and its just normal for kids to be raised w beatings and yelling and insults and controlling behavior and all that shit,,,, but. ive always been terrified of that. since i was little i knew if i ever had a kid i wouldnt want to put them through any of this. if i cant break the cycle id rather not raise a kid at all. at least for the past like year or two my mother has actually accepted that some of the shit she did wasnt okay and that she was abused by my grandmother too and..... apologized??? which was insane. so. idk. its been a long and weird fucking process. but. i dont think its hopeless

#lmao speaking of mommy issues #god so many of us are so fucked up huh

[wooahaes]

I kept wanting to message you again and again but aaah life keeps taking over >_< Anyway, as you might have guessed: it's layton anon here Did you manage to do your discussion board post or are you still on it? Hope it goes well<3 My essay is... uhm... yeah let's just say I'm working on it haha

OMG THE HAND HOLDING THING Y/N AND CHAN ARE LITERAL OTTERS THAT'S SO CUTE T-T (also istg UtS gives me so much cuddle envy I too want to sleep in a comfy cuddle pile)

same with jakob as a unit, he's just not it. But his quotes are superbe~ also yess the short, sassy quotes are so good fjdhfjh

I think you're really writing cheol so well. You found a good way to describe the dynamics between the members in general, it feels very on point to me. Sometimes it's super tiny things that make me go "oh!! that's so like them!!"

........... why did you have to say that about cheol always being in love with reader in every route why must you break my heart in this way (but also him putting her happiness first is so hfjshckejjhfj-- i' m fI nE)

reminds me i have to catch up with vernon and seungkwan's parts I'm so excited to read them!! I'll let you know when I did hehe~ Also I really get what you said about 10 wreckers at all times like. same. I'd say my biases are cheol and hao (tho chan has been dangerously close to join their circle one too many times hdjhfdj) but I literally love all of them sm T-T

i hope you're doing okay and are taking care of yourself! ily<3

hiii lovely <3 i hope things are going well for you tho!! sometimes life gets busy! no biggie, take care of urself <3 ur wellbeing comes first! also yeah ive got discussion board posts done hehe i have a paper due sunday but i think i'm gonna start working on it tomorrow unless we get confirmation that game nights gonna be tomorrow? good luck on the essay tho!!

god... mood tho i ALSO want a cuddle pile with ppl i love and trust. but yeah they're otters <3 he literally holds yn's hand all the time like. bestie just wants to hold a hand!! its for the comfort <3

i talked abt this with a friend btw abt jakob and felicia i think is who u get if u play as a guy? i never understood that. like im guessing its for romance stuff but if you can/will get both anyway??? why not give the player someone they'd realistically have as a butler/maid to watch after them???

aaa thank u!! the tiny things might literally just be me pulling from actual things they've said/done hehe but im glad i can capture things well!! i usually second guess myself sometimes but its reassuring to hear things like this :3 i love writing cheol tho. if i dont get whiny cheol in UtS at least somewhere tho i s2g ill delete /j

this only makes it worse but cheol is Not the only one who is always in love w reader in every route <3 like there's always at least two ppl who are in love w reader in every single route (cheol being one), maybe three. its all a matter of them all wanting to see yn happy instead of keeping them for themself <3

aaa thank u ill look forward to hearing ur thoughts then!! sorry in advance for seungkwan and all the fighting his has /j

i have started appreciating cheol a Lot more over this past year tbh? like i only got into svt last october-ish (whenever attacca dropped, i dont remember right offhand) and he wasnt rly high on my list. i just appreciate him and all he does for the group while also being like... the POUTIEST man sometimes. seungkwan doesnt say he loves him back and cheol is just like >:( carats would never treat me like this smh. get u a man who can do both.

hao truly is an artist and i can deeply appreciate that aspect of him even if he's not like. high on my list? like i love svt as a whole but i full yknow tht i love other members more (even if they arent my biases). i think i really appreciate how much of himself hao puts into what he does. he's so passionate about what he does. also hai cheng made me cry so ill never forgive him for tht /hj

(no but rly i did break down crying the first & only time i listened/watched the mv and i cannot bring myself to listen again bc i think i'll cry again if i do. beautiful song tho, i just do not want to cry lmao)

im doing fine! i had an eye appointment yesterday and had my eyes dilated so that was a bit of a pain to deal with, but im getting new glasses! my prescription has changed Slightly so thankfully no headaches or anything lol only thing fucking w me now is allergies since pollen is UP rn and i hate it </3 summer class is almost over tho!! im going to enjoy my less than a month of chilling lol i dont even have a proper final for this class, i just have to edit my papers and resubmit them <3

i hope you're doing well, though! take care of yourself <3 get ur essay done when u can!! i believe in u <3 its always lovely to hear from you!!

#wooahaes.ask #layton anon

[aprito]

hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog 

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me) 

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please) 

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since. 

so finally we can move to the first question 

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara. 

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol 

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.  

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

#nonitxt #meta #another hot take from me #but seriously if you're offended over these #unfollow me lol idc #defending predatory content is not a hill im gonna die on in this life

[sammyloomis]

fic writer tag meme

god damn yall i got tagged by @love-fireflysong AND @queenofbaws, flattered so i am not much of a writer these days but lets give it a whirl ;w;

author name: fudgeroach :V

fandom(s) you write for: almost exclusivley until dawn!! but ive dabbled in some azumanga daioh and danganronpa stuff, and if we go WAY back i used to write twilight fanfic,,,,, it never saw the light of day so dont even try lookin for it

where you post: ao3

most popular one shot: Hot Mess which is a story abt ashleys drunk ass falling out from behind the partition and foiling the prank and thus saving everyones fkn lives :’] idk if i was expecting this one to be the most popular but thats p rad!!

most popular multi chapter fic: the squad be lit fam which is one of those chat fic things where everyones just chattin shit in a group text. i made it cause i wanted to do something goofy n fun between more serious stuff but reading it back its kinda just.... bad... not too keen on my characterisations, they all feel kinda samey

favorite story you wrote: hoooo boy idk if i even have a fave tbh tho maybe Dead Air cause i remember bein really hyped about posting it. even if it doesnt feature the ud kids that heavily, i rly Love my ghost au n thought it was a fun idea to have a couple of idiot internet people try and tackle the story of the blackwood tragedy 

story you were nervous to post: okay warning cause its porn. Closet Boinking. as im sure you can guess Why i was nervous to post it cause its fkn porn and thats all there really is to say on the matter (tho it IS my second most popular one shot so,,, clearly u guys like it)

how do you chose your titles?: sometimes i like bein rly cagey abt it and making it some obscure reference thats like 10 thoughts removed from the original concept, and sometimes its just as simple as me not being creative enough and just slapping something last minute into the title bar

how many of your stories are complete?: 13/17 and thats only cause theyre one shots fghjkl i Suck at multichap stuff

in progress?: uhhh 2 i guess?? the other 2 are vague enough that i could stop em now but tbh im probably not gonna be finishing any multichap stuff hh tho Hopefully the last chapter of Grapevine

coming soon: uhhHH NOT MUCH TBH FGHJK i cant even think of anything im writing that ill actually Finish rn. i have a few bits n bobs laying around, couple danganronpa one shots n half finished chapters, but im not rly confident in my writing skills to make more atm ;w;

upcoming story ur most excited to write: see above

do you accept prompts?: ahh not really, not for writing stuff anyway. but im always down for a drawing prompt!! lord knows im lookin for ideas all the time fghjkl cant garuntee ill do it tho

top 5 authors: hhHHH i HATE pickin people i know, im always scared im gonna forget someone so, in lieu of that, just assume that if ive left a review on ur stuff it means ur one of my faves (but it we’re talking like, published fiction authors i love me some ‘david wong’ for cosmic horror and ‘becky chambers’ for gay n emotional science fiction)

tag 6 people: DFGHJ AGAIN IDK WHO TO TAG FOR THIS so if u read this n wanna do it go for it!! i think everyone i woulda tagged already did this meme anyway ;w;

#tagged for me #hoooo boy that was a Lot #until dawn #cause thats is p much the only things featured in here akaks

[thotsupport]

ms heathcote turn on ur location i just wanna talk. i just wanna talk

im so fucking disappointed by the new episode. it was bad.... an episode of KILLING EVE!!! was bad !!!!! do u know how fucking awful that is.... how hard that is..... it has not had a single bad episode or even like bad MINUTE. 

rest is under a read more bc i have adhd and dont know how to explain my thoughts in less than 1000 words. this is a rant post ladies be warned of spoilers ig. its long 

ik everyone was worried about the writer change and we had a reason to be... this show walks such a thin line w its humor and all of its characters, esp eve and villanelle. so it was always going to be like, whoever gets put in charge of new seasons either gets it or they dont. but wow! wow huh

idek if i should be blaming ms heathcote, phoebe and emerald for leaving, or whoever signed off on this shit bc whew !! it sucked . that first minute of the wedding reception scene hit and u knew that things were off and this was rly not going to be what we hoped. they hyped us up for the wedding shit but it was absolutely pointless, when they couldve done SO MUCH w it. and that rly set the tone for the whole rest of the ep tbh

characters are ALL so out of character, stale as shit, and have basically been made into caricatures of themselves. the new characters that have been introduced have no substance. i think the most villanelle-like thing v did in the entire ep was pour the shop owner’s spice bag onto her face to mock dasha. and we’re really supposed to believe she thinks she killed eve? the top tier assassin we’ve watched for 2 seasons who kills people for a living? that  didnt sit well with me since the trailer, like it just feels unrealistic and contradictory as hell to their whole relationship. maybe we’re being faked out and she knew all along, which would be great !! but this first episode does not give me any hope for that bc it requires some decent writing

and now they kill kenny??? in the first fucking episode?? like ok maybe sean delaney said im signing out bye, which is like ok cool fine, so they had to write him out. but like THAT ? when he started hearing noises i went “if they kill kenny rn i dont think i can forgive them” LET ME HONK MY NOSE REAL QUICK. i sat there for like 5 min w my hand over my mouth. a cheap ass no build up death scene out of nowhere, just for shock value. is it crack? is that what you smoke? that entire sequence was so fucking bad. sloppy.... the predictability......my dvr cut off the last min so i had to look it up later, but what i imagined the ending was like ended up being right to a t, which is rly sad!!!. i do not write for this show! i should not be able to guess the end of the episode down to the song they use!! 

they tried to set his death up w whatever he was finding out online, but sis.........what a mess. and kenny was p much the only one from the first seasons they did a decent job of writing too 🙄

every interaction between characters, every character’s actions, the tone of every scene, the humor, the weird location cuts, rushed sequences, no build up or payoff to anything trying to be established...... mess. all of it fell flat.

anyway.... killing eve fell victim to change of writers combined w the classic ‘we already have a loyal established audience so we dont have to try as hard’ downhill slide. i hope the season gets a lot better from here but that first ep doesnt make me too hopeful. like am i going to keep watching no matter what? yes! i am a clown!! i want to see what happens. the cast will always be amazing. but let’s not pretend it was great

i probably sound harsh as hell but i do not care !! not a bit ! this show has been so fucking good and of course im going to be upset if it gets fucked up. miss 2020 rly came in and said we get nothing this year huh. not one crumb

#killing eve spoilers #killing eve s3 #killing eve #killing eve season 3 #villanelle #long post #read more

[toycarousel]

Is it wrong of me, to be a trans male(though I dont use that terminology, im just male) who doesnt want to date other trans people?

Hey there, Anon! I’m not transgender, so I’m definitely not an authority on this sort of topic (I’m intersex, however, and the categories of intersex I fall under are complex enough that I do meet a lot of trans folks, and do understand some of their personal experiences, for sure!)

Also though, I rly don’t think any one person, trans or not, can give you a solid “yes or no” answer to this... it’s going to be different depending on the person, of course!

From what I’ve learned from a variety of different trans ppl, it’s... complicated.  Like, basically you are NEVER obligated to date anyone who you don’t feel comfortable dating, and/or who you simply aren’t attracted to.  I think forcing yourself to date trans ppl (regardless of your own gender assignment) is probably nooooot the way to go, and could definitely end up hurting both of you!

But I’d also just rly, rly study why it is that you feel this way, you know? Not in a self-judgmental “am I a bad person or a good person/am I right/wrong?” sorta black-and-white way, but in a genuinely curious way -- be open and curious about yourself and why you feel the way you do about these things! 

Like, I’d ask questions along the lines of “what aspects of trans people do I find to be a turn-off/unattractive,” “what do I feel like dating a trans person would be like? What do I like/dislike about the idea?” And, especially important questions like, “would I feel differently if someone I didn’t know was trans (but was attracted to) turned out to be trans? Would that change things? Why/why not?”

And like I said, try not to judge your own answers to these questions -- these are only things to ask yourself, they’re not a quiz to see if you’re a good or bad person for feeling the way you do! Even if the answers to them end up being rooted in some form of transphobia, I mean.  That's rly just how it is sometimes.  And, of course, it’d be something to work on, but there’d be no point in beating yourself up over it, or forcing yourself into relationships that you’re not happy with, you know?

So, I guess the short answer is that it’s complicated! I’m a gay man, and I’ve dated a few trans men, personally, and I find that whether I’m attracted to them or not depends more or less on how they naturally feel about themselves but also how they present -- like, I could possibly be into a trans man who presented entirely as society’s idea of a woman, wore makeup, etc., and had no intention of going on hormones/having surgery, but... I’ll admit it’d be a lot harder.  Whereas, trans men who just give off that same masculine vibe that cis men do, and are on hormones and such, like -- for me, there’s virtually no difference between dating a cis or trans man at that point.  But that’s just my personal experience with the variety of men I’ve dated, ahahaha!

Also (and this is just a little bonus link if you’re interested), a youtuber called ContraPoints, who is a trans woman, came out as a lesbian in her most recent video titled “Shame”.  (If you know who Contra is and you don’t like her, that’s fine, just ignore this link).  But about 3/4 of the way through the vid, near the end, she talks about another trans woman she came out to, who turned her down.  And the reason that trans woman gave (for turning her down) was partially because she felt more validated in dating cis people; that dating another transgender woman didn’t give her that same validation, and that she’d be ashamed to do so.

I feel like that’s (whether secretly or openly) the case for a lot of people in the LGBT+ acronym, tbh.  It totally is unhealthy, but it’s still understandable, and is, again, more something to work through over time than to beat yourself up over!

In any case, best of wishes, Anon, and I hope things go well for you and the people in your life, no matter what ends up being your truth/what your journey may or may not be!

#advice asks #gender #LGBT #transphobia mention tw #just in case for the video link #Anonymous

[solasan]

dagmar brosca for otp meme !!

ask me abt my ships !!

1. who pulls the other closer while sleeping?

probably zevran ? dagmar’s not a very cuddly sleeper, and she sorta sleeps like a rock, so he’ll roll over in the middle of the night and just tuck her into his side

2. how do they wake up next to each other? ex - tangled in each other’s arms? is one falling off the bed? etc.

yeah, usually dagmar’s tucked into him somehow. once or twice she’s woken up w either his hair in her mouth or his elbow in her face and she’s like babe. babe wake up. why are u like this

3. what movie do they watch when they both had a bad day and just want to turn off their brains for a little while?

a thriller of some kind probably. zevran likes to try and guess the endings, and the fast pace keeps dagmar occupied and out of her head, which she likes

4. who picks something up, says a pun with the object then laughs as if it’s the funniest thing they ever heard?

zevran !!!!! he doesnt do it that often tho. dagmar’s initial reaction is like. her eyes are laughing, but her face is blank as stone. zev always says it again, once or twice, his smirk spreading, until she huffs a laugh and looks away

5. how do they hype one another up?

dagmar has a kinda fucked up image of herself and her appearance for a lot of reasons, and she has a lot of trauma around her own ??? sexualisation ??? i guess ??? so if zev is hyping up her appearance, he learns to do it gently, teasing her lightly abt her pretty eyes or tracing her casteless brand very sweetly. it’s adorable

she like... doesnt hype zevran up in the typical way. shes very matter-of-fact abt her thoughts abt him --- which are all very positive, dont get me wrong, he knows she adores him, shes just not big into verbal affection --- so she’d maybe be like “u kno i think ur hot. shut up” LMAO. if hes ever like. in need of being hyped up shes like “u got this obviously why is that even in question”

6. when one of them gets a new outfit, how does the other react?

zev’s always like ‘is this new ??? it looks ravishing, do come take it off for me mi amor’ even if it’s like....... such a ridiculous higgldy-piggldy outfit. like she can be wearing armour made up of three different types of armour and hes like WOWZA

he once starts wearing a shirt cut to show his entire fuckin chest and dagmar’s like ‘not that i dont appreciate the view but is that rly practical ??? ur gonna get stabbed. idiot’ but otherwise she wont rly react ???? shes not big into fashion lmAO

7. who tries to playfully scare the other person and who always knows where the other person is?

zev does it sometimes. hes very good at sneaking up on her, too. but it’s small scares; he doesn’t try and massively freak her out ever. theyre both probably very aware of where the other is, all the time, bcos theyre protective and wanna look out for each other

8. when they grocery shop, what is one section they love to playfully mess around in and why?

zev will mess around in every section, tbh ???? they’ll both mess around in the spirits section and do impressions of Very Serious Wine Critics in the wine section

9. when their partner has a bad day, what is something the other picks up to try and make their day a little better? ex - fast food, flowers, a punny card, etc.

dagmar brings him pretty, shiny things. usually jewellery of some sort; gifts are her love language, and she knows he loves that shit, so she’ll bring him a lot like ‘pls cheer up i love u’. on the other hand, zev knows she hates that kind of waste of money, so he’ll do little things to cheer her up; bring her flowers, or offer to do one of her chores around the camp, etc

10. who runs up and hugs their partner while the other catches them?

dagmar isnt generally the type to throw herself at him, but when theres been times shes been very worried abt him, she’ll hurl her entire body his way in relief. once or twice, shes done it when he’s been injured, and hes like i love u but ow

11. what song reminds them of each other?

any time dagmar hears a bawdy tavern tune she thinks of him. usually he tries to drag her into dancing w him when those are being sung. theres a few ballads that make him think of her, too, probably; slow, sad, but oddly beautiful things. and also once she’s died, there’s obviously songs abt the hero of ferelden, so he hears those and tries not to cry :)))

12. who presses their nose against their partner’s cheek before kissing them?

dagmar 🥺 shes rly soft w him. she’ll also kiss his nose and the tattoo on his face all the time

13. what small quirks do they love about each other?

idk if this counts as a ‘quirk’ but zev rly loves the way she smells ?? which sounds bizarre but shes very comforting to him. she smells of rain, sorta, and sometimes blood and sweat, but also a little bit like pansies and just.... that undefinable smell of a summer night ??? he loves it

dagmar rly loves the way he smiles when hes half-asleep, bcos it’s teasing, but it’s soft in a way he only sometimes is when hes fully conscious. it’s just like.... gentle and loving and warm, and it makes her feel very light and safe

14. who accidentally snorts when they laugh and that makes both of them laugh harder?

dagmar !!!!!! the first time zev makes her laugh so hard she snorts hes literally blown away tho he has to take a moment to stare at her. but then he joins in

15. what are somethings that they do for one another because they know their partner hates it? ex- do the dishes, phones to make an order, talks to sales clerk. etc

zevran will help her take her tent down, bcos the higher bits are a lil hard for her, given her size. she gets so frustrated w it that hes like “ok let me do it”. dagmar will stitch up tears in his clothing bcos he’s less than brilliant w a needle, not that he’d ever admit it

#abelas #answered #ch: dagmar brosca #god this is SO late #thank u so so so so much for asking tho meg !!!!! ur a star

[misterbitches]

I cant decide if I think what happened this episode makes me mad at tae joo. 

me @ me...and ppl who may read what i write...lmao: hear me out. i am a black anarchist cis woman so like...not everyone is going to care or think about  stuff like this. i realize it may not be the total norm  yet (but hey black radicals burned down a fucking police station yesterday which is some real cool history so who is to say that i’m not.) with or without the norms, i share to get a grip of my own thoughts that ADHD absolutely won’t let me keep. and see what people have to say! maybe they’ll engage. otherwise,,,,,,,it doesnt matter i jsut love thinking it through. cos i am CONFUSED!!! 

(btw, i insult rich ppl through this whole thing and i dont give  a fuck. i repeat a lot of things too o well.)

the start of the ep has these words from tae joo:

i have a young friend. a shadow like being who doesn’t go away even at one o clock. that shadow grew a self. i have to do him the favor...

part of his like and attraction to guk  is because of that existing power imbalance. i, personally, think that is impossible to deny given  that we see it. a girl coming over to their house and he kisses her. he had to know that guk would see, or would be looking, whatever.

you have tae joo being surprised at interest in guk. not because guk isn’t attractive or whatever, but because he’s used to the one being noticed. he may not be as broad and tall (there’s not a huge difference but guk obviously stands out more visually, while tae joo stands out cos he’s him i guess lol.)

i think there may be an element of this cat and mouse game that he likes, but  guk takes it a lot more seriously. as he should because...it’s his job. we don’t know at what point they are so anything that happened previously but they very clearly like each other. 

i was gonna say it didn’t even have to be romantic—yet. just that feeling of i don’t need anyone else to take you. i’m curious about why tae joo likes pil hyun but maybe it has something to do with wanting a friend that isn’t necessarily one borne out of necessity. but pil hyun’s dad does work at tae joo’s father’s dumb company or whatever. he’s on the board? idk i forgot

but maybe neither of them really care and pil hyun is just a friend instead of someone you have deep admiration and romantic or strange love for. 

but then there’s a lot of cruelly selfish stuff that shows why this imbalance and their two different backgrounds hinders them. tae joo doesn’t want to lose this shadow anyway but guk is always there. where he’s supposed to be.

when tae joo said, “isn’t it boring just the two of us?” it’s just such a dumb fucking question to ask. he was either just being verbally careless or did it on purpose. it can be both, but i don’t think it was supposed to be. for every one side of a you need to see him as a person not a workerr also encourage him to fuckng quit and live your lives together outside of your stupid rich father coin there’s a he obviously wants and needs him as much if not more. 

the if not more part comes to mean (to me) dependency formed UPON guk’s job. were they not to be in this circumstance, how would their paths cross? 

honestly the show poses a lot of class dilemma for something so short. now is the time to do and write interesting things and question capitalism anyways. tae joo can’t have everything handed  to him. well he can have a lot, because he’s privileged to be where he is, but love isn’t one of those things. guk is not obligated to love him fiercely if tae joo can’t truly relinquish his hold.

the last scene pissed me off a lot at first and thinking about it  it still does. like you used the master-servant relationship comment and exploited it because you didn’t like it but it’s the truth. what is the point of guk sitting through your bullshit but when you intentionally go seek him out you can insert yourself.

hye mi saying, “hey we’re talking can u wait yr turn” like YEA. they’re talking, you came in and had a fit, and only someone who has a life like you do would do something like that. was guk making noise while you were being tutored? 

i also honestly would just quit if i were guk. not every1 is gonna be an annoying anarchist like me or whatever but that’s pretty much the only way this could sustain itself. that and tae joo respecting guk as a person not just a person he loves in his orbit. the world revolves around us as individuals. meaning we think about ourselves in relation to everyone else because we live in this body. so guk is allowed to center himself in his own life.

this could all be avoided if it crossed tae joo’s mind that guk is allowed space to feel whatever his emotions without being dictated. where it isn’t just sparring that he can say whatever the fuck. 

so remember the opening. well, here’s the last lines of thought tae joo had in the car: i have a bodyguard a shadow like being that shouldn’t go away even at one o clock. the shadow isn’t supposed to have a self. 

he called the shadow his friend. a shadow has no self so when it finds autonomy — as he is finding himself (guk),  guk walks ahead of taejoo, faceless with the camera focused on the shadow itself—we finally start to see him as the shadow shows its human form. it’s never been a shadow, guk has always been a person, his own person, it’s just that and this  is literally....he is owned by his job. imagine realizing you have the same tendency as your own dad to feel that way (btw this is also with him (guk) getting slapped by his dad and no......nothing)

in the car we see that selfishness that wasn’t buried but he never thought about. guk shouldn’t leave, he should always be behind him, a shadow, he isn’t supposed to dictate his own life, his life must revolve around me. because he’s transient, again. workers are disposable, a dime a dozen, you happen to love this dime but it doesn’t mean you have  been able to fight for it or understand it.

tae joo is rich (i don’t know if it’s new or old money and the distinction would matter a little but i’m pretty sure theyve been together for a long while? bitch idk) the boy he loves is employed by his father. his father is a CEO, a boss and truly the worst kind (FIRE! YOUR! BOSS!) tae joo has been told his whole life that he deserves. why fight capitalism and not understand his own richness? it’s beneficial to him and it gave him guk, right? 

and you see how allllllllllll of that, the messaging, the receiving, how you get stuck under the influence as a younger person to be stuck under the influence as a complicit adult to the messages of the ruling class. the ruling class you are a part of whether you like it or not, the one that calls labor your own, the one that rips power from other people. you didn’t choose who you were born from and to, but you get to choose what you do now. 

guk was never a shadow, you just didn’t see him because, well, he’s your best friend, and your bodyguard, working and being a literal punching bag for your mistakes (AND THAT’S CAPITALISM BABY, THEY RLY TOLD US THAT THERE—”for your mistakes, i’ll beat him and then send you off to england” like gorl...)

(i also want to mention i whole heartedly believe that the rich resent the poor, the ruling class punish the working class, etc but that’s like irrelevant to here mostly...by irrelevant i mean i shouldnt go any fucking deeper than i have with goddamn dumb analysis. but it’s fun kinda) 

anyway basically tae joo like made so many mistakes that show just how fucking clueless you can be when you have immense privilege. coupled with guk working for him, he doesn’t realize that guk doesn’t live to work. has his own thoughts and he has feelings man. when guk said “stop” in e3 i was rly happy tbh. yea, they may like each other but doing shit like that isn’t fair to him if you’re gonna go around and be really flighty about everything while he depends on (well maybe not depend must cater to) you almost completely by DEFAULT of u being rich lmao

this is just a look and critique into one side of tae joo. i don’t dislike him but i question why people both in the show and people discussing feeling bad for tae joo’s circumstance instead of asking why guk  has to do any of this.....? how does guk fucking feel about this? where are guk’s feelings factored in. like we’re all saying “we pay you so that should be enough.” fuck no. guk do what you want.

if the show was about like....people in love not meeting at the right time in their lives i wouldnt be too upset either. as long as we know their love was deep and romantic it’s okay to see a parting. of course i would prefer not to see that and just want tae joo and guk to grow up to become nice anarchist citizens. guk is an artist and tae joo writes books about his daddy issues or sth like that

#a thot #an unecessary bl thot #ill call these types of posts that #*unnecessary #where your eyes linger #tae joo x gang gook #tae joo #kang guk

[brooktm]

˙  ˖  ✧  ariana  grande  ,  24  ,  cisfemale  ,  she/her  //  was  that  BROOKLYN  ESPOSITO  stepping  aboard  the  GUCCI  JET  ?  oh  now  it’s  a  party  !  we  all  know  they  can  be  pretty  DETACHED  ,  but  also  pretty  SOPHISTICATED  on  a  good  day  ,  just  like  a  CAPRICORN  .  they’ll  be  blasting  HEARTLESS  BY  THE  WEEKND  for  most  of  the  plane  ride  ,  i  can  already  tell  .  i  think  they  added  FIJI  ISLANDS  to  the  list  of  places  to  visit  this  year  .  let’s  pop  the  champagne  and  get  going  ! 

sup  friends  !!  i’m  jen  ,  also  formally  known  as  that  dumbass ,  u  might  feel  free  to  address  me  by  either  i  rly  dont  mind  .  ANYwho  this  is  brooklyn  !!  also  a  trash  bby  who  thinks  waaaay  too  highly  of  herself  n  rly  shouldnt  bc  she’s  dumb  .  SO  there is some  info  on  her  after  the  beep  n  also  some  connection  ideas  n  a  pinterest  board  bc this  bitch  is  artsy  .  also  like  ...  its  been  a  hot  min  since  roleplaying  was  a  thing  for  me  so  i’m  gonna  have  to  ask  for  a  lil  of  yalls  patience ... its  a  slow  process  getting  caught  up  on  these  aesthetics  fam .  

ok  so  meet  brooklyn  .  full  name  is  brooklyn  elisabetta  esposito  n as  yall  can  guess ...  shes  italian  .  brook  comes  from  a  family  of  old  money  n  its  so  old  no  one  rly  knows  how  they  even  became  rich  ?  they just  have  been for  as  long  as  they  remember  .  nowadays  ,  the  family  branches  into  a  bunch   of  different  business  ,  since  its  a  huge  family  filled  with  aunts  n  uncles  who  shes  met  maybe  once  of  twice  in  her  life  .  her  immediate  family  (  dad  )  ,  however  ,  has  branched  into  the  wine  business  ,  so  they  have  several  different  vineyards  both  in  the us  and  in europe  ,  and  subsequently  a  multimillion  dollar  wine  company  . 

brooklyn  was  born  to  henrico  esposito  (  one  of  six  children  .... like  ,  seriously )  n  his  first  wife  ,  adrienne  an  american  model  he  married  when  they  were in  their  early  20s  .  brooklyn  was  the  second  born  child  ,  and  in  five  years  they  were  divorced  after  a  cheating  scandal ,  n in  the  decade  n  half  that  followed  ,  her  dad  married  four  more  times  n  had  five  more  kids  ..  reaching  the  total  amount  of  seven  children  .  he  likes  kids  yall .  brooklyn  was  raised  by  her  mother  n  isnt  rly  close  to  her  dad  ,  she’s  just  constantly  eyerolling  at  him  tbh  .  she  is  however  rly  close  to  her  maternal  grandma  elisabetta  who  she  basically  adopted  her  entire  personality  from  .  which  reaches  the  point  of  her  personality

soooo  brooklyn  likes  to  think  of  herself  as  basically  a  master  of  emotions  .  cool as cucumber  n  the  ultimate  manipulator  .  n  she  kinda  is  in  some  aspects  ?  but definitely  not  to  the  extent  she  prides  herself  .  she  likes  to  keep  her cards  v  close  to  her  chest  ,  so  u  will  rarely  (  if  ever  )   find  her  in  the  middle  of  an  emotional  outburst  or  tantrum .  she  also  has  that  deadpan  thing  down  n  will  not  hesitate  to  stare  u  down  with  the  blankest  expression  just  to  make  you  uncomfortable  lol  n  she’s  also  rly  closed  off !!  its  rly  hard  to  get  her  to  emotionally  attach  to  u  BUT  if  she  does  ,  its  bc  she  definitely  doesnt  hate  you  as  much  as  she  wants  u  to  believe  .

also !!!  likes  to  be  the  classiest  bitch  in  whatever  room  she’s  in  n  she’s  SUPER  high  maintenance  dont  ever  call  her  for  anything  other  than  a  fancy  CLASSY  thing  n  expect  her  to  show  her  face  .  but  also  ….  put  some  alcohol  inside  this  girl  n  she  will  definitely  get  caught  giving  a  lap  dance  to  a  fuckin  empty  chair  n  like  …. ask  every  single  person  around  her  to  take  her  to  the  nearest  mcdonalds  so  she  can  eat  some  fucking  chicken  nuggets  .  HONESTLY  she  rly  is  a  high  maintenance  ho   but  no  one  can  be  that  classy  all  the  time  dont  judge  her  for  wanting  some  FUCKING  chicken  nuggets  !!  

that  being  said  she  is  also  SO  protective  of  those  around  her  .  even  tho  she  might  claim  to   hate  u  ,  she  will  go  to  war  w  that  bitch  that  said  ur  shirt  was  ugly  no  questions  asked  .  is  also  very  unimpressed  w/  things  in  general  so  it  takes a  Lot  to  get  her  approval  in  p  much  anything  ur  doing  .  that  being  said  i  did  say  she’s  a  dumbass  who  thinks  she’s  very  smart  n  like  ...  10/10  she  will end  up  being  that  one  friend  who  will  go  complain  abt  ur  stupid  plans  but  end  up  getting  arrested  w/  u  .  

in  regards  to  her  love  life  ,  brooklyn  is  p  open  as  a  bisexual  girl  .  she’s  not  a  v  romantic  girl  tho  ,  like  she  doesnt  rly  have  a  romanticized  idea  of  love  (  her  father  has  been  married  like ... 17  times  yall  )  n  her  relationships  so  far  were  usually  more  abt  convenience  &  ease  than  passion  /  love   at  all .  that  being  said  she  doesnt hate  love  or  run  from  it  she  just  doesnt  feel  it  frequently  n  doesnt  actively  pursue  it ??

ok  so  u  will   now  find  some  headcanons  abt  this  head  job:

u  will  never  ever  find  her  without  heels  on  bc  she’s  too  short  to  be  elegant  lmao  i  hate  her

loves  dogs  .  animals  in  general  but  most  of  all  dogs .  funds a  bunch  of  animal  rescues  n  will  pet  a  dog  no  matter  what  whenever  she  sees  one

will  cry  everytime  she  watches  tangled  no  questions  asked

lip  gloss  queen  will   be  wearing  lip  gloss  everytime  u  see  her

has  had  a  diary  her  entire  life  and  carries  one  w  herself  wherever  she  goes

is  the  least  crushy  person  ever  .  has  got  0  celeb  crushes  .  henry  cavill  who  ?  she  has  no  time  for  dudebros  in  her  life

took  ballet  lessons  up  until  she  was  nineteen  yrs  old  n  set  fire  to  all  her  pointé  shoes  when  she  gave  it  up

has  a  reaaaaally  loud  laugh  but  its  not  a  big  laugher  so  u  need  to  be  extra  funny  to  get  it  out  of  her

there  is  so  much  more   but  im  so  lazy  @god  why  u  do  me  like  that  ?  anyways  i  got  some connection  ideas  but  those  r  pretty  shallow  n  general  n  i  love  coming  up  w  things  from  scratch  ,  so  feel  free  to  hit  me  up  for  some  brainstorming  !!  but  yea  i  would  love  some  polar  opposites  best  friends  w  someone  who’s  rly  bubbly  n  adventurous  n  doesnt  suck  the  joy  out  of  all  ambients  like  brooklyn  tries  to  do  lmao  .  also  some  exes  maybe  someone  she’s  in  good  terms  w/  bc  it  wasnt  a  v  passionate  relationship  but  also  someone  she  rly  liked  but  when  things  ended  it  was  all  v  awkward  or  maybe  it  ended  on  bad  terms  bc  they  rly  liked  each  other  ?  some Family  connections  !!  she  has  a  huge  family  so  cousins  or  2nd  cousins  or  even  siblings  !!  sexual  relationships  that  r  either  v  shallow  or  v  messy  would  also  be  nice  bc  its  good  to  have  brooklyn  lose  her  temper  every  once  in  a  while  ?  someone  who’s  always  trying  to  get  her   to  freak  out  like  friends  who  annoy  each  other  ?

#luxe:intro #oh boy it has taken me a Moment to write this down #brook n i r dumb bitches but pls love us

[junionigiri]

chapter 214 ramble - spoilers!

okay, i am happy about some parts (obvs the dadzawa moments and the monoshin, ee) but the rest of it? ugh!

- i like that vlad is the first person shown in this panel! he clearly loves his kids and is concerned about them, even going as far as calling out aizawa for having a soft spot for them... gotta admit, aizawa admitting that that’s the case is surprising, i would think that he’d say something about logic or whatever. but i guess it’s how his character is progressing? he’s getting more and more invested in the students.

- while i have to admit that the mina-mineta team is a force to contend with (who knew that grape rush was this useful?) it was still really hard to read =_= because jeeze that lil perv has to act like a perv in the middle of a serious battle wtf? lost his chance at being respectable, altho i gotta admit that he’s beyond help

- mina’s great for still being able to work with that creep in the name of professionalism but still yuck. i really felt violated for her and reiko and yui

- and speaking of the 1b kids, i hate that they’re suddenly helpless. even though mineta’s flying around those balls and shit, surely reiko and yui could have done more than just duck??? i mean there are traps and stuff but after ducking couldn’t they have embiggened-poltergeisted the shit out of their opponents? and why is it up to shoda to watch out for them? ah, maybe it’s just me and my poor comprehension of action scenes???

- ah, but my boy tsuburaba and my cutie manga made cameos in a lil panel and im happy about that

- and i love the shot of bakugou watching silently while jirou’s wondering out loud about deku and ochako... again, another crumb for my kacchako shipper heart to over-analyze dont mind me

- and NOW the most frustrating part

- why, why hori, wHY you gotta do Monoma like that

- you are so being fuckin’ unfair dude... i mean, you gave this kid a really tough backstory, a challenging technical quirk to work with, a really interesting over-the-top personality and you just blatantly throw him to the sidelines like this

- i mean i know i was excited about ochako and monoma fighting but this is just humiliating -- it’s so easy to take Monoma down, and for all the badassery Ochako does with her brute strength and her quirk, she still looks like just a support to Deku who wasn’t even using his quirk wth--

- i mean--logically--why would Deku send himself to face Shinsou, who they’re considering the biggest threat in the group when he isn’t even planning to use his quirk??? Why not Ochako, who has a good quirk and brute strength and less incentive to talk back to Shinsou???!?!?!?!!?!?!

- jfc--this is wahat im talkin about, shes gonna be stuck in a support role 5eva

- i felt so bad seeing monoma on the ground in utter defeat!!! and deku and ochako not even considering him a threat anymore and focusing on shinsou--ugh, excuse me Monoma is a big threat you guys, it’s the MonoShin tandem that was supposed to bring you down and not just Shinsou!!!! Why is he suddenly so insignificant?? Why is he written as nothing more than just a big mouth with a quirk that won’t work on our blessed hero????

- i just--ugh i can’t even explain myself properly!!! it’s just unfaiiiririiiiirrrrrr im throwin a tantrum for him

- the only good part about this is Shinsou realizing that he has to save Monoma (swOOOOONing my way to hell, oh my god MonoShin is real) -- it isn’t just a one-sided thing, ugh I’m so happy for Monoma’s lovelife i mean--

- and I love the little sliver of the Dadzawa and Shinson!!! it’s... strangely similar to the fic i wrote before (but never mind that, I kinda wish I wrote that story differently LOL). Aizawa is really the perfect mentor to Shinsou, and dare I say it, Shinsou is the perfect mentee for Aizawa. Shinsou wouldn’t have progressed so far without Aizawa’s mentoring, and maybe Aizawa wouldn’t be as soft as he is now were it not for Shinsou (... and the rest of 1A)

- But whatever that doesnt matter. Shinsou’s hard work and Monoma’s plans and Shouda and Yui and Reiko’s seamless teamwork is for naught

- because of Deku’s deus-ex-machina quirk

- this is the first time I’m not rooting for Deku to win tbh--the quirk was killing him literally moments ago. it only takes a flashback sequence to Hellboy to have control of that shit?? Really???

- what happened to the months of mastering the strength-boosting aspect of OfA huh??? Is he really gonna have it easy from now on???

- in conclusion. i am bitter

- please let me know if i read some things wrong because i rly want to feel better about this. thanks

#bnha chapter 214 #midoriya izuku #uraraka ochako #monoma neito #shinsou hitoshi #monoshin #dadzawa and shinson #1b #1a #whyyyyy #hori why are u meeting my bad expectations whyyyyy

[karmanticmoved]

1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

no

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

#asks #long post #friends

[marvmacdonald]

“she's fucking impetuous and daring, a little too bold and way too fucking fearless.”

MARY MACDONALD is 21 years old and works as an JUNIOR AUROR and is loyal to THE OOTP they were an GRYFFINDOR and are a MUGGLEBORN. SHE look like CHRISTIAN SERRATOS. 

CHARACTER PARALLELS: jessica jones ( jessica jones ), leia organa ( star wars ), arya stark ( asoiaf ), johanna mason ( the hunger games ), nancy wheeler ( stranger things ), rosa diaz ( b99 ), ellie ( the last of us ), raven reyes ( the 100 ), kat edison ( the bold type ), nina zenik ( six of crows ) AESTHETIC: red lipstick stains on drained cups of tea, leather jackets, cigarette bums crushed under doc martens, sitting down in the shower and letting time pass by, always wearing your gold cross necklace, messy ponytails, beer burps, laughter that’s filled with desperation, jean dungarees, screaming in your pillow, mud stained clothes, denim on denim on denim. LINKS: stats. pinboard. character tag. playlist.

history

mary had a little lamb? WRONG. mary had a little calf. because she was born on a dairy farm in the highlands of scotland ( laugh at my joke pls i worked hard on it ). she was born third to two muggles – a scottish father and a mexican mother, who loved each other deeply – and would eventually become their middle child. she could have become overlooked, but mary never felt discounted at home: while her parents were very often busy with the cows, their love ran deep.

her youth consisted of this: running through fields of grass, attending a muggle elementary where people sang songs at her ( old macdonald had a farm and mary had a little lamb, the former of which was, of course, accurate ), playing with the animals, building tree houses with her brothers and sister and playing football every spare moment she got. it was good and simple and wholesome.

of course, strange things happened, as they tend to with muggleborns: she’d explode her brother’s toy when she got angry, or let things fly around the room when she was laughing. when she found out she was a witch at age eleven, things fell in its place. and the macdonalds, while traditional catholics, accepted mary, which is the most important thing of it all. her parents were shocked, yes, but they squeezed her shoulder and promised to discover this all together.

which?? very much influenced mary greatly? because it went against a lot of things they – and she, too – believed in. magic was deemed evil by the church they attended. everything about this was supposed to be wrong, but her parents shifted their views because their love for their daughter was greater than their desire to cling to all the rules the church laid down for them, this has allowed her to have a faith in people, and while she may be cynical and bitter at times, that faith is still there.

i mean --- her parents accepted her, they were capable of openmindedness despite being traditional people in most other situations. other people can too.

hogwarts was as chaotic as home, and mary settled in quite nicely. sorted into gryffindor ( she guessed it was for her rambunctious nature, but who knew ), she found herself a second home and loved it. as it turned out, she was rather good with a wand as well – she didn’t do so good at essays, though – and genuinely liked learning ( except for history of magic. fuck that. ).

being a muggleborn had its downsides, of course, but mary never really allowed herself to feel discouraged. hurt? yes, definitely, but never discouraged. she wasn’t going to let it get to her, she told herself, but it did, especially when the harsh words turned into something more. it was during her confrontation with mulciber that mary felt true, harsh fear for the first time. she felt shut down, paralysed, depressed —– but then, after a while, she got up and took some important steps. she reported mulciber, which led to nothing, which caused her to feel angry, which in turn caused her to feel determination. if the system wasn’t going to be on her side, she’d just have to fucking change it, right? mary started throwing herself in her schoolwork, determined to join the dmle – hopefully as an auror, but any position would do. she suppressed her fear and the trauma that was there, and kept her head straight.

this entire situation is up for change and stuff when/if we get a mulciber! 

graduation rolled around and mary got the five required NEWTs to even apply. it was a nervewracking process, but once she got into auror training, she cried. like. for a full ass day. she was so proud of herself and she felt so determined and !! man. it was such a good, defining moment. around the same time, mary joined the order; she knew the ministry was corrupt, and that it’d not allow her to do everything she wanted to, when the order DID. mary had too much anger, too much determination to fight this bullshit to just stick with the ministry, and so the order seemed like the right place.

it’s only recently that mary graduated from her training and became a junior auror. it’s ... infuriating, at times, but also amazing. she hates the ministry and most of the people in it, feels paranoid in those walls, but knows that there are good people, too. people who want to better that place, like she does.

kaz brekker voice: brick by brick, i will destroy you.

also --- mary is ... very quite involved in the war. her time is divided between the order and work, and her dog. she’s determined to get this war to end. she doesn’t even care if she destroys herself in the process --- what does her life mean, if she could help save numerous people?

so right now, she’s fighting. she’s gritting her teeth and keeping her goals in the back in her mind and is focusing. and she does not always feel brave or confident or self assured, but that does not matter: mary macdonald always gets the fuck back up, and that’s what she will keep doing until she’s completely knocked down.

personality & tidbits.

mary is a human espresso. she’s so. damn. bitter?? despite the fact that she keeps on going and that she’s fighting her ass off, she’s tired and angry that things don’t seem to be moving in the right direction, she’s feeling bitter about the fact that this kind of discrimination is happening right in front of her eyes and that she does not have enough power to stop it. she feels powerless, which makes her feel bitter, which makes her cynical.

still! mary is not necessarily a debbie downer to be around. she keeps her bitterness ( and hopelessness, even ) carefully hidden in boxes in her mind. on the outside, she’s filled with quips and smiles and quick comments! just a sociable bean, but just a bitter one.

is a dog person and will fight anyone who prefers cats. has a cairn terrier called bowie. she loves him more than anyone.

obsessed with tea, tbh. her ma always said that ‘there’s nothing a cuppa can’t fix’ and mary definitely agrees with this statement.

though is also a ‘whiskey in a teacup’ kinda gal

can be spotted wearing either a rly nice ass blazer or a jean jacket, no inbetween. either office-fancy or farmer-chique

fucking loves muggle culture and loves fellow muggleborns and !!!!!! she loves it!!!

very much in a take-no-prisoners mindset at this point re: death eaters. it kind of scares her, tbh, but mary is very much capable of murdering a death eater, even if she could stun them — she’s just done. she’s very. done. with them. and this whole shbang? will only feed into this.

mary is ruthless, that’s what it boils down to. she’s a lot more than that, of course, but she’s ruthless — in small things ( football matches & boardgames ) but also in bigger ones, and of course the war is the main way it shows. mary is so angry. she’s so angry and scared and tired of feeling that way and tired of being scared to lose people and herself and of death and she’s so angry that people really are this way and that they really do these things — she wants it to stop. she wants the world to be right. and sometimes she thinks the ends do justify the means.

this is why she’s chaotic neutral and not chaotic good.

like ive had her turned to dark arts before just bc she’s so desperate to. fucking win. tbh i’m sure she has a growing interest rn. stop it mary :(

and she’s also like — mary doesnt care if she ruins herself? if she becomes a bad person who’s unable to live with the shit she’s done? as long as the world is better for it, as long as kids can go to hogwarts and feel safe and the world is a safe place for everyone. what does her soul matter in the grand scheme of things? she’d burn in hell forever if it meant the rest of the world changed for the better.

emotionally driven mess of a being

is catholic but struggles a lot with religion and feeling faithful, but she does still identify is a catholic, it’s just? complicated. it’s rly complicated and she hates it.

is a bit flighty when it comes to romance, def has a lot of one night stands/fwb situations though??? she’s just like??? i dont have time for romance its a WAR

has been trying to stop smoking for five years, but alas

a proud scot. a proud latina. proud proud proud. such a fucking lionness.

mary was a beater during her time at hogwarts and was Highly competitive. threw herself into the sport tbh after the mulciber incident. she still thinks football is superior, but you know, it isnt in the air.

she’s pan and out of the closet --- something that did put a strain on her relationship with her family. ( the fact that they could accept her magic but not her sexuality ... baffles mary, but bigots have never been very reasonable. ) she’s not very open about it at home, but otherwise ... she’s out here lovin everyone.

plot ideas!

roomies —– so mary is not Earning A Whole Lot Right Now but does not want to live at home any more because 1. its in the middle of nowhere and 2. most importantly, she’s afraid of endangering her family. she needs roomies! i’d love for her to live in glasgow/edinburgh/london/idk a city!!!

hook ups/fwb’s/etc —– mary is what the old ppl call promiscuous and she sleeps around. so ! let’s talk! former hook ups! booty calls! friends with benefits! etc etc etc!

party pals —- mary likes going to pubs and clubs in the muggle part of town bc it is a LIT way to escape the reality of the wizarding world and also, muggle clubs have better music. come party w her!!!!

in the dragon’s den together —- fellow ministry employees who side eye the ministry and whom mary can sip tea and judge their colleagues with

mudbloods club —- mary loves her fellow muggleborns and i would love some muggleborn friends that she can be buds with. ranting about dumb pureblood names and traditions and the fact that wizards dont have movies

general friendship ideas —- im just going to a bunch of ideas here: hogwarts friends, ride or dies, order pals, friendly exes, fellow tea drinkers that she can go on coffee/tea dates with, friends who are growing apart bc of the war (my fave), etc.

etc —- some other ideas i want to spitball: purists who h8 on mary’s life, fellow diagon alley employees, fellow order members, Annoyances, there is solidarity in being scottish, ministry connections, etc etc etc HIT ME UP

#maraudrs:intro

[macdvnald]

[ CHRISTIAN SERRATOS ] • [ SHE/HER ] | is that [ MARY MACDONALD ] , the [ NINETEEN ] year/s old [ GRYFFINDOR ] alumnus , walking down diagon alley ? I heard that the last time they had their fortune read, they drew the [ HIEROPHANT REVERSED ] , which seems [ UNLUCKY ] . hopefully they won’t come to any harm, considering their recent choice to ally themselves with [ THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX ] . they’ll probably be fine - I know they’re [ PERSISTENT ] , though apparently they can also be [ RUTHLESS ] . what’s the worst that could happen ? | 

LINKS: stats, pinboard, playlist PARALLELS: johanna mason ( the hunger games ), jessica jones ( jessica jones ), raven reyes ( the 100 ), ellie ( the last of us ), rosa diaz ( brooklyn 99 ), nancy wheeler ( stranger things ), kat edison ( the bold type ), sarah manning ( orphan black ) HELLO and welcome to the mess that is this intro!! on the bottom are some plot ideas & besides that its a big old mess! but we love disorganisation! hit this up with a like if u want me to hit u up for plots and i sure as hell will <333

history

mary had a little lamb? WRONG. mary had a little calf. because she was born on a dairy farm in the highlands of scotland ( laugh at my joke pls i worked hard on it ). she was born third to two muggles – a scottish father and a mexican mother, who loved each other deeply – and would eventually become their middle child. she could have become overlooked, but mary never felt discounted at home: while her parents were very often busy with the cows, their love ran deep.

her youth consisted of this: running through fields of grass, attending a muggle elementary where people sang songs at her ( old macdonald had a farm and mary had a little lamb ), playing with the animals, building tree houses with her brothers and sister and playing football every spare moment she got. it was good and simple and wholesome.

of course, strange things happened, as they tend to with muggleborns: she’d explode her brother’s toy when she got angry, or let things fly around the room when she was laughing. when she found out she was a witch at age eleven, things fell in its place. and the macdonalds, while traditional catholics, accepted mary, which is the most important thing of it all. her parents were shocked, yes, but they squeezed her shoulder and promised to discover this all together.

which?? very much influenced mary greatly? because it went against a lot of things they – and she, too – believed in? this has allowed her to have a faith in people, and while she may be cynical and bitter at times, that faith is still there.

hogwarts was as chaotic as home, and mary settled in quite nicely. sorted into gryffindor ( she guessed it was for her rambunctious nature, but who knew ), she found herself a second home and loved it. as it turned out, she was rather good with a wand as well – she didn’t do so good at essays, though – and genuinely liked learning ( except for history of magic. fuck that. ).

being a muggleborn had its downsides, of course, but mary never really allowed herself to feel discouraged. hurt? yes, definitely, but never discouraged. she wasn’t going to let it get to her, she told herself, but it did, especially when the harsh words turned into something more. it was during her confrontation with mulciber that mary felt true, harsh fear for the first time. she felt shut down, paralysed, depressed —– but then, after a while, she got up and took some important steps. she reported mulciber, which led to nothing, which caused her to feel angry, which in turn caused her to feel determination. if the system wasn’t going to be on her side, she’d just have to fucking change it, right? mary started throwing herself in her schoolwork, determined to join the dmle – hopefully as an auror, but any position would do. she suppressed her fear and the trauma that was there, and kept her chin up.

the entire mulciber situation is up for change, should we get a mulciber, or if it doesn’t correspondent with the plot/rp canon! 

graduation rolled around and mary got the five required NEWTs to even apply. it was a nervewracking process, but once she got into auror training, she cried. like. for a year. she was so proud of herself and she felt so determined and !! man. it was such a good, defining moment. around the same time, mary joined the order; she knew the ministry was corrupt, and that it’d not allow her to do everything she wanted to, when the order DID. mary had too much anger, too much determination to fight this bullshit to just stick with the ministry, and so the order seemed like the right place.

right now, she’s fighting. she’s gritting her teeth and keeping her goals in the back in her mind and is focusing. and she does not always feel brave or confident or self assured, but that does not matter: mary macdonald always gets the fuck back up, and that’s what she will keep doing until she’s completely knocked down.

personality & tidbits

mary is a human espresso. she’s so. damn. bitter?? despite the fact that she keeps on going and that she’s fighting her ass off, she’s tired and angry that things don’t seem to be moving in the right direction, she’s feeling bitter about the fact that this kind of discrimination is happening right in front of her eyes and that she does not have enough power to stop it. she feels powerless, which makes her feel bitter, which makes her cynical.

still! mary is not necessarily a debbie downer to be around. she keeps her bitterness ( and hopelessness, even ) carefully hidden in boxes in her mind. on the outside, she’s filled with quips and smiles and quick comments! just a sociable bean, but just a bitter one.

is a dog person and will fight anyone who prefers cats. has a cairn terrier called bowie. she loves him more than anyone.

obsessed with tea, tbh. her ma always said that ‘there’s nothing a cuppa can’t fix’ and mary definitely agrees with this statement.

though is also a ‘whiskey in a teacup’ kinda gal

can be spotted wearing either a rly nice ass blazer or a jean jacket, no inbetween. either office-fancy or farmer-chique

fucking loves muggle culture and loves fellow muggleborns and !!!!!! she loves it!!!

very much in a take-no-prisoners mindset at this point re: death eaters. it kind of scares her, tbh, but mary is very much capable of murdering a death eater, even if she could stun them — she’s just done. she’s very. done. with them. and this whole shbang? will only feed into this.

mary is ruthless, that’s what it boils down to. she’s a lot more than that, of course, but i chose that trait for her app because she is --- in small things ( football matches & boardgames ) but also in bigger ones, and of course the war is the main way it shows. mary is so angry. she’s so angry and scared and tired of feeling that way and tired of being scared to lose people and herself and of death and she’s so angry that people really are this way and that they really do these things --- she wants it to stop. she wants the world to be right. and sometimes she thinks the ends do justify the means. 

this is why she’s chaotic neutral and not chaotic good.

like ive had her turned to dark arts before just bc she’s so desperate to. fucking win.

and she’s also like --- mary doesnt care if she ruins herself? if she becomes a bad person who’s unable to live with the shit she’s done? as long as the world is better for it, as long as kids can go to hogwarts and feel safe and the world is a safe place for everyone. what does her soul matter in the grand scheme of things? she’d burn in hell forever if it meant the rest of the world changed for the better.

emotionally driven mess of a being

is catholic but struggles a lot with religion and feeling faithful, but she does still identify is a catholic, it’s just? complicated. it’s rly complicated and she hates it.

is a bit flighty when it comes to romance, def has a lot of one night stands/fwb situations though??? she’s just like??? i dont have time for romance its a WAR

has been trying to stop smoking for five years, but alas

mary also works part time at quality quidditch supplies because the girl loves quidditch ---- though not as much as she loves football.

a proud scot. probably lives in scotland, but i’m ... going to keep her living situaiton open and segue into Wanted Plots!

plot ideas

roomies ----- so mary is not Earning A Whole Lot Right Now but does not want to live at home any more because 1. its in the middle of nowhere and 2. most importantly, she’s afraid of endangering her family. she needs roomies! i’d love for her to live in glasgow/edinburgh/london/idk a city!!!

hook ups/fwb’s/etc ----- mary is what the old ppl call promiscuous and she sleeps around. so ! let’s talk! former hook ups! booty calls! friends with benefits! etc etc etc! 

party pals ---- mary likes going to pubs and clubs in the muggle part of town bc it is a LIT way to escape the reality of the wizarding world and also, muggle clubs have better music. come party w her!!!!

in the dragon’s den together ---- fellow ministry employees who side eye the ministry and whom mary can sip tea and judge their colleagues with

mudbloods club ---- mary loves her fellow muggleborns and i would love some muggleborn friends that she can be buds with. ranting about dumb pureblood names and traditions and the fact that wizards dont have movies

general friendship ideas ---- im just going to a bunch of ideas here: hogwarts friends, ride or dies, order pals, friendly exes, fellow tea drinkers that she can go on coffee/tea dates with, friends who are growing apart bc of the war (my fave), etc.

etc ---- some other ideas i want to spitball: purists who h8 on mary’s life, fellow diagon alley employees, fellow order members, Annoyances, there is solidarity in being scottish, ministry connections, etc etc etc HIT ME UP

#ootp.intro