somebo4

[somebo4]

hate.

I look around me and find everything I'm not, The pretty faces, the smart minds, the caring smiles. And then a glance at myself, and my day is ruined, It pains my heart to hate myself, But hate is all I know, hate is all I am.

#random #writers #writing #poets on tumblr #writers and poets #poem #writers on tumblr #quotes #literature #loathing

[somebo4]

you don't realize how powerful loneliness can be till even hurting yourself isn't painful enough to sate it

- i fell in love with hope, 2022

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[somebo4]

Julian K. Jarboe, ‘First Contact, Communion’ from Everyone on the Moon Is Essential Personnel

[somebo4]

a burden embraced in surrender :

i stared in the mirror and saw an empty face staring back at me

"die", it whispered, "nobody really cares"

the hollow eyes seemed to pierce my soul

the tingling smile seemed to devour my heart

i needed help or she would have consumed me

i screamed and cried but my pleas echoed in a void

no one seemed to hear!

i struggled but the face advanced towards me in a sinister grin

in a collison we merged into one

and i have carried her heaviness everyday since then

for in the depths of despair she’s become an indelible part of me

#random #writers #quotes #literature #writers on tumblr #poem #poets on tumblr #writing #3 year tumblrversary #writers and poets #poetsandwriters #poetry #poems on tumblr #original poems #my poetry #dark academia #light academia

[somebo4]

a woman rejecting her lover’s advances

don’t come and wrap the tendrils of my heart around your wrists and wear them with pride in the name of memory. don’t come and make me smile just to leave me teary eyed. don’t come and promise another rendezvous so i am struck with the poison of longing until i see you. if you have to go then don’t come. dont come come and plunge the knife of separation in my heart only to take it out before you leave. don’t come and ask about my condition only to say that you must depart, for you have something else to oversee. oh, why do you test my love thus? if you have to go then don’t come because i am not sure just how much longer i can bear it.

[somebo4]

birthdays⁈

birthdays, a tapestry of contrasts that paints the canvas with strokes of mourning and blessing alike 

for some it's a mourning of adulthood, a funeral of the happy days that lie in the graveyard of the memories , a pitiful dirage that echoes through the corridors of lost innocence, where happiness lies hidden beneath the weight of adulthood’s cloak.

for some it's a blessing, a day to celebrate, a day to bask in the acquired wisdom, a day to revel in the triumphs of survival, a feast of memories that dance in the flickering candlelight of the passing years 

i find myself curled up in the middle, in a murky twilight, where the shadows of the past cling to my soul, and the unknown future looms with a menacing ambiguity. 

It's like a cacophany of the dead and the alive, a haunting melody thet mimics the chambers of my heart.

adulthood, to me, feels like a dark room with windows tightly sealed, barricaded against the onslaught of time, a room that whispers promises of wisdom, yet shrouds itself in an unsettling ambiguity

It's a terrifying symphony where the notes of fear create an uncanny tune 

Does the room hold flowers waiting to unfurl its petals or it is merely a void like countless others - a desolate expanse of nothingness? 

The dichotomy stays and i find myself standing at the threshold, grappling with the paradox of embracing the unknown while clutching onto the fragments of a simpler past.

#random #quotes #literature #poem #poets on tumblr #3 year tumblrversary #writing #writers and poets #writers #writers on tumblr

[somebo4]

कर लूंगा जमा दौलत-ओ-ज़र उसके बाद क्या?ले लूँगा शानदार सा घर उसके बाद क्या?

मय की तलब जो होगी तो बनजाउंगा मैं रिंद,करलूंगा मैकदों का सफर उसके बाद क्या?

शायर ओ सुखान के ख़ूब सजाऊंगा महफ़िलें, दुनिया में होगा नाम मगर उसके बाद क्या?

मौज आएगी तो सारे जहां की करूंगा सैर, वापस वही पुराना नगर, उसके बाद क्या?

एक रोज़ मौत ज़ीस्ट का दर खटखटाएगी, बुझ जाएगा चिराग ए कमर उसके बाद क्या?

उठी थी खाक,खाक से मिलजाएगी वही,फिर उसके बाद किसको खबर उसके बाद क्या?

- कमर जलालाबादी

[somebo4]

#random #writers #writers on tumblr #quotes #poem #literature #poets on tumblr #writing #3 year tumblrversary #writers and poets

[somebo4]

something hopeful???

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[somebo4]

i wish i was never born

i wish the next time i open my eyes i see heaven or maybe hell(?)

i wish i get hold of the secret of hope

i wish..

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[somebo4]

impromptu (2)

life is not something to be solved or understood

trying to understand life is stupid, its idiotic

you can live it, you can rejoice in it, you can feel it but understanding it? that's impossible

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[somebo4]

impromptu (1)

his kiss did something to me

something unexplainable

its as if something fixed and broke at the same time

fixed because i finally found someone

and broke because he too will leave(?) someday

i felt absolute bliss and pain, all at the same time

it's as if a light finally revealed itself in an abyss of darkness, only to vanish after

#random #writers #literature #quotes #writers on tumblr #poem #poets on tumblr #writers and poets #just girly things #writing

[somebo4]

a silly little something by a silly little someone

My hand, upon the stove, a martyr to simmering anguish

Withering and dying in pain

Yet i am oblivious to the searing throb as i am consumed by greater ties 

The crimson of my palm mimics the despair of the soul 

As heartache eclipses physical torment, taking its toll

The torment of the heart has overtaken the bodily pain 

Skin surrenders while the mind is screaming in vain 

Even if my hand were to fall, a numbness deep would dwell

Maybe, just maybe, this torment will cease when i succumb

To the echos, to the shadows that hovers above 

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[somebo4]

hits home

The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath

[somebo4]

we heard that you were very disappointed in us both as a generation and specifically as a generation of women (emphasis yours), how we had let ourselves go and now we were slutty and ill-tempered and holding onto notions of feminism like "having a savings account" and "equality."

we were very sorry about it, we didn't realize. it is very hard for you, in your life, because your entire definition was centered around the word providing, and that's a really vague and undulating word. it is hard to be a provider. for your purposes, the word provider here can be defined as "having a job", although it sometimes also extends to "doing yard work", "grilling on occasion," and "knowing basic car anatomy."

we had to do some reading but we divided it out. do not worry. high-value women will fill in the rest of the gaps of your life - all those silly feminine things like doing the dishes. we didn't realize we had asked too much when we asked you to pick up after yourself. we did not realize you were rendered small and scared and crying about the possibility of doing the laundry. here is a joke to lighten the sentiment: a man that listens when you talk to him.

we heard about how we had fallen from glory and it sickened us and made us very, very sad. lindsey had to cut all her hair off and tara threw up. we lit one million candles and we are going to have a vigil about it tonight. all of the people in this world that you do not approve of are going to be there and we will all be in mourning colors because we have lost your respect which is of course the only thing that any of us were looking for.

we searched around our bedrooms and our closets and for some of us it took a while but we all found the pricetag that we were originally born with, the one that gave our listing offer, the one that smells like rot and pine needles. we were horrified because many of us had taken deductions and hadn't realized it. i had scraped my knees and decided to be a lesbian so they had to take my voicebox out so i could never call home again. janice had been with too many people overall so we had to put her into the big squisher that will hopefully collapse her walls so that when you're with her, you'll feel so big and powerful. it will be like you're conquering something instead of being close with someone.

we are all going to the funeral of feminism and we will tear at our bodies and fall over ourselves. we will invite you onstage for a live recording of your podcast about the occasional minor inconvenience of self-reflection. you will talk about how we have targeted you and made you feel the sweat slick down your back, and we will teach you basic self-defense out of solidarity.

do not worry, we are seeing to all the outliers. taylor asked to be taken seriously so we have shipped her off to prison. laura asked you to accept her femininity regardless of her presentation. you will be happy to hear all women are now and forever going to have to be small and thin and pretty and white and ablebodied and quiet and unassuming and ladylike, which is different than how society has previously told us to act.

i am going to have to shave off my jawline, which is a little masculine, and they are going to have to reshape my hands, which are very square and thick - all the work i've done with them has made their veins stand out, so we're just going to have to exsanguinate me. i am horrified to have been out in public like this.

we are going to sit around the campfire and we will talk about being weird little girls that made potions in pink teacups. we will talk about the first time we made a difference. we will talk about the private lives of crickets, and then, at the stroke of three in the morning (the witching hour, obviously) - we will all promptly shut up.

and this will be your beautiful world. this silence that spans every corner of every street and every zoom meeting and every alley. i do not think you'll notice at first - it will be the same as every television show and movie and book. we will all just simply sit there in our doll dresses and smile blithely at your advances and none of us will do you the dishonor of answering and none of us will appear to be in distress and none of us will nag you or make a fuss or get hysterical about it. it will just be quiet, and you will say finally, some peace for once! and we will smell of smoke and our teeth will be white and the next day will come.

tonight we are going to bury the last little bits of our humanity. you are not invited. it is going to be ugly.

[somebo4]

Victoria Chang, from Dear Memory: Letters on Writing, Silence, and Grief; “Dear Teacher,”

[Text ID: “The language of poetry reminded me to stay alive. It reminded me that, when it felt like I had nothing, I was nothing, I still had words. I could ride language as if on a horseback, and it could take me anywhere, including deeply into myself.”]

[somebo4]

the falling leaves of the guava tree

A sombre reminder of my serenity

the wrinkles on my face

closely resemble the tree base

the age spots and droopy lids

a bittersweet adieu my youth bids

i feel the gloom of my life

not happy with the the clive

but in this solemn gloom

a spark does ignite

as i see a sapling, brave and bright

young and carefree, yet burdened with fears

i spent my youth with fright and tears

worrying about my weight, health and wealth

not realising that this will all see a death

Like storms that rise and fade away,

the worries of youth are gone.

As time went by, the curses that arised

Turned out to be blessings disguised

so let the guava leaves gently fall and sway

for i've learned to cherish each moment,

come what may.

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