myfriendhasnopants - Tumblr blog

myfriendhasnopants · 3 years

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"not all men" you're right. number 199, ali abdul would never do this to me.

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myfriendhasnopants · 3 years

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To any suicidal followers I may have: This is a sign to not kill yourself. You are loved and the world is special because you are in it. Keep holding on.

Reblog this when it’s on your dash. You will save someone’s life.

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myfriendhasnopants · 3 years

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thank you, bestie who also has no pants. love you dearly

Happy Birthday to my friend who shall remain both nameless and pantless.

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myfriendhasnopants · 3 years

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what are pants, if not shorts perceiving?

in other news, my friend has neither.

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myfriendhasnopants · 3 years

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So, my best friend finally found out prince philip died, and promptly invited me over. i get there, ring the bell, she opens the door. in her rush to make snacks before i got there, she did not put on pants.

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myfriendhasnopants · 3 years

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Day 6.

My best friend and I were solving a mystery today, but she didn’t feel like leaving home, so I face-timed her and showed her everything she needed to see. Then someone came into her room and talked to her. I tried to listen but it was breaking up, and eventually the call ended.

While I was worrying about my friend, someone came up to me and told me a helicopter was there for me.

Who could it be? Who wanted to pick me up so bad that it couldn’t wait?

“What’s going on?” I asked the pilot, but he put a hand up to silence me.

“No questions.”

Once we finally landed, I noticed that I was at the Buckingham Palace. Why the hell would I be here?!

I followed the man to see my friend, Sherlocka, sitting on a couch. I looked at her and furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, trying to get answers, but she just shrugged in response.

I sat down next to her, thinking for a moment, before letting out a small giggle.

I turned to look at her and held back another laugh, asking her, “Are you wearing any pants?”

“No.” She calmly responded, looking away for a second

We then turned and made eye contact, looking into each other’s eyes for a second before bursting out into a fit of laughter.

When will my best friend remember to wear pants?

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myfriendhasnopants · 3 years

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Day 5.

Today, my sister and I went to a fancy restaurant called “Krusty Krab”. The wooden tables were so delicious, and the chairs were the perfect size. Everything was going great.. that was until someone bursted through the glass doors.

“Hello.”

It was Man Ray, looking evil as ever. He had taken my friend a few months ago. I will never forgive him for the pain he has caused to the citizens of bikini bottom.

“Shut up.” Some fish yelled, throwing their trash at him.

“No, YOU shut up.”

I stood up and ran over to him, punching him on the stomach. He groaned and folded, crossing his arms over the painful area.

“Loser stupid idiot.” I spat at him, grabbing his ear thing and dragging him out of the restaurant.

“Ow, hey, you’re hurting me!” He complained, trying to get out of my strong grip, but he failed horrendously.

“No.” I simply said, pulling even hard than before.

Before I could take him to my car, Mermaid man and Barnacle boy pulled up in their invisible boat mobile.

“Get in.”

We hopped in the car, and I grabbed rope from the trunk, wrapping it tightly around Man Ray. After he was secured in the seat, Mermaid man drove us to Man Ray’s evil lair cave.

My palms grew sweaty, and I was a bit nervous. I prayed to Spongebob Squarepants that my friend would be safe and sound when we found her.

“We are here.” Barnacle boy stated blandly, opening the car door for us.

I picked Man Ray up with my muscular and manly arms, bringing him to the cave. I threw him in there and untied him.

“Bring me to my friend. Or else.” I threatened, pulling my pocket knife from behind my ear.

“Okay.” He agreed for some reason.. it concerned me.

There must be something he was hiding.

He led me to a small door, telling me to go first. I got on my knees and opened it, crawling through the tight space.

I finally made it to the other side, looking around at the empty room. But it wasn’t so empty..

I noticed my friend, tied up in the corner, tears running down her face.

“Max!” I shouted, running up to her and quickly releasing her.

She grinned and hugged me, but then seemed to remember something and pushed me away.

“What’s wrong?”

Max shook her head, curling up into a ball and trying to hide was the problem was.

I gently grabbed her hand and moved it, revealing something truly horrific..

Man Ray had done something so evil. So malicious. Something only a true villain would do.

He had taken her pants.

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myfriendhasnopants · 3 years

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Day 4.

I was minding my own business, riding down the street on my unicycle, when someone jumped out at me.

I fell off my ride, scraping my knees on the pavement. I jumped up to see who it was, and my eyes must have deceived me, because I saw President John F Kennedy lying on the ground.

I gasped, “JFK?”

“Hello my fellow citizen.” He grinned, standing up and dusting himself off.

“How are you- what are you- what?” I stuttered before walking up to him and slapping him on the cheek.

“What was that for?” Kennedy yelped, dropping his smile and slapping me back.

I rubbed my face as it stung and responded, “I had to make sure you were real.. but how? You’re supposed to be dead?”

“What year is it?” He questioned me, looking around at all the modern houses on the street.

“It’s the year 2021, Mr. President.”

He shook his head and slicked his hair back with his hands then told me, “Just call me JFK.”

“Okay. So, how did you end up in 2021, Mr- I mean- JFK?” I asked, picking up my unicycle and throwing it halfway across the world with my super strength.

“Time machine. I was supposed to go to November 22, 1963, which was the day after the present time, but I wasn’t there. I was.... dead. I was scared, so I jumped in the machine and pressed a few random buttons. That’s how I ended up here.” John explained, wiping away a small tear that escaped his watery eyes.

I gave him a sympathetic look before saying, “I’m sorry, JFK. That must be scary for you. But everything will be okay.”

He shrugged and smiled at me, seeming thankful for my comforting words. Before I could say anything, a truck honked at us. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him to the side, letting it pass. But, I took a closer look at the vehicle, noticing the name.

“Ryder!” I shouted, suddenly coming up with an idea.

“What?”

I put my hands on the president’s shoulders, shaking him lightly and spoke, “My friend, Ryder, he’ll know what to do. He’s like- like a super genius or something.”

Somehow, my unicycle was back, so I told John to get on my shoulders and we rode to my best friends house. He lived on the same street as me, just a few blocks down from my house.

We got there pretty fast because I never skip leg day, and I parked the unicycle against the side of Ryder’s house.

I lead John up to the door, knocking on it as hard and fast as I can. (that’s what she said)

The door opened to reveal my friend half asleep, but he quickly woke up when he saw that the 35th president was on his doorstep.

“What the fu-“

I cut him off, “Don’t question it. Just let me in.”

Ryder moved out of the way, scratching his head out of confusion. But he listened to me anyways, not questioning anything.

I explained to him what was happening, and even though it sounded absolutely insane, he believed me.

“Understandable, have a great day.” He said, waving goodbye at us.

“But- are you not going to help us?” I frowned, giving him the best puppy eyes I could possibly give.

“I cant...”

“...Why?”

Ryder sighed and seemed to a think for a moment before pointing down. I followed his finger, just to see what he was talking about.

“Oh my god.” JFK gasped, widening his eyes.

John was so shocked that he literally disappeared, leaving a thank you note some how. When did he have the time to write that?

Anyways, I finally saw what they were freaking out about... It was terrible. Horrifying. Frightening. My knees were weak. Arms were heavy. Vomit on my sweater already.... MOMS SPAGHETTI!!!!

Oh yeah, I didn’t tell you what happened.

Ryder wasn’t wearing any pants.

(side note // here’s JFK’s thank you letter.)

Dear citizen of America,

Thank you for your hard work and dedication to try to help me. You were successful! Your pantless friend scared me so bad that I jumped back to my year. I used the time machine to give you this letter. I found out that if I feel a very strong emotion, I can go back to my present time. I know I die tomorrow, and I know there’s no way to avoid it, but I do know that you are a strong individual. Thank you for you and Ryder’s help, very much. Give your friend my thanks.

I’m going to be honest, I am quite scared. I don’t want to die yet.. But I will be okay. I will live my last day to the fullest and tell everyone I love them. Thanks to you. Oh, and now I will NEVER EVER forget to wear pants.

Love, John F Kennedy

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myfriendhasnopants · 3 years

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Hello, my friends.

I have not been able to post days 4 and 5. I was abducted by a humanoid alien who ate my dog and possessed my sister. There was no wifi in the spaceship, so I couldn’t post. My sincerest apologies.

I made friends with the alien and was able to escape by asking to get mcdonald’s.

Thanks

#bestie #pants #sorry #sherlock #so sorry #best friend goals #apology #i’m sorry #forgive me #happy birthday #hello #movies #funny #LOL

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myfriendhasnopants · 3 years

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Day 3.

Today was amazing!! I was hanging out with one of my mom’s best friend’s cousin’s sister’s coworker’s half-brother’s grandpa’s daughter’s step-father. We were at Mcdonalds, and I ordered a Big Mac with a large coke.

“How was your morning?” I asked, reaching for a the fries.

“Pretty good. I finished filming Dead Pool.” Ryan answered, grinning proudly at his work.

“That’s nice, good job!”

He grinned and replied, “Thanks!”

We ate in silence for a few minutes, until someone started shouting at the waiter.

“This isn’t what I ordered! I specifically asked for pickles!”

The poor guy backed up, nervously fidgeting with the pen and responding, “Oh, well I can-“

“No! This is the third time. Still no pickles! You failed again, SpongeBob LoserPants!” The person remarked, standing up.

I tried to move in order to see their face, but Ryan grabbed my wrist.

“Don’t.” He whispered, waiting for me to sit back down before releasing me from his right grip.

“What? Why?”

“That’s... That’s Reyna... The notorious pickle protester.” He spoke, shivering in fear.

My eyes widened, and I questioned, “Wait.. As in Reyna Maximoff? My best friend?!?”

“Yes.. Wait- did you just say- your friend?” Ryan gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth.

“Yes! Hey, Reyna, come over here!” I called out, waving at them.

Reyna turned around, the bottom half of their body hidden by the wall of the booth. They seemed to look Ryan up and down before jumping over the wall. They did a front flip and then a cartwheel, accidentally kicking someone.

“My leg!!” The random person yelped, and Reyna quickly mumbled an apology before running up to me.

“Reyna! Where the hell have you been, loca?” I laughed, standing up to hug them

“Your mom’s house.”

I rolled my eyes at their silly mom joke, and sat down, pulling out a chair for them. Reyna gracefully accepted it and sat next to me, turning to Ryan.

“H-H-H-H-H-Hello.” He stuttered, putting out a shaky hand.

Reyna shook it and then stole his burger, checking to make sure there were pickles before taking a bite.

I noticed that a piece of lettuce was slipping out, but it was too late. It fell onto their leg in slow-motion, along with a splash of ketchup. It was then that I realized....

The lettuce did not fall onto fabric, but instead, their bare skin...

They weren’t wearing any pants.

#pants #LOL #bestie #bff #best friend #johnlock #funny #sherlock #nopants #where are their pants?#hello?#pants gone #tights under pants #cargo pants #sagging pants #movies #pants pooping #leather pants

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myfriendhasnopants · 3 years

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Day 2.

I was hanging out with my mother today. We went shopping at thrift stores, and I got some very nice clothes. But halfway through our trip, I got a call from a No Caller ID. Obviously, being the white girl I am, I answered the call.

The voice was raspy and deep, and it spoke, “I see you.”

“What?” I ask, starting to panic. My mom shoots me a strange look, but I ignore it.

“Get out of the car.”

“But it’s moving-“

“I don’t care. Step out of the vehicle.”

I quickly opened the door and unbuckled, jumping out of the car and onto the busy highway. My mom drives off, not even looking back to see if I was okay. She never loved me, never will. But it’s okay because she’s wanted in literally 45 states.

I stand up and dust myself off, walking through all of the cars. I don’t know when it happened, but somehow I gained the ability to walk through solid objects such as walls.. and moving cars.

On the other side of the roads, I see a figure waving at me. I continued to make my way through the cars, reaching out to the stranger.

“Who are you?” I called out, beginning to run. The farther I got, the further the figure was.

“Your worst nightmare.” They responded, turning around to reveal their face.

Once I realized who it was, I gasped, “Benjamin?!? Your not my worst nightmare.”

“Look down.....”

I furrowed my eyebrows before slowly tilting my head down to see what he was talking about. Then I saw it... and it was truly my worst nightmare...

He was not wearing any pants.

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myfriendhasnopants · 3 years

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So, just got off of facetime with my bestie, and she walked out of the room without turning off her camera. That is how i know that she was in fact, not wearing pants.

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myfriendhasnopants · 3 years

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Hello my fellow citizens. I am awfully and truly sorry for not keeping you completely up to date. Yesterday, my dog fell in the toilet and my little brother tried to flush him down. I had to babysit my friend’s fish, so I couldn’t write Day 2. I will post Day 2 and 3 separately. I hope you can forgive me. My sincerest apologies.

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myfriendhasnopants · 3 years

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So, i saw my friend bright and early today, and in case you were wondering, she was not wearing pants.

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myfriendhasnopants · 3 years

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So guys, saw my bestie today. She was not wearing pants lmao.

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myfriendhasnopants · 3 years

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Day 1.

I was woke from my slumber by a mysterious bang coming from my kitchen. I exit the bed cautiously and grab my nerf gun, holding it close to my chest. Who could be in my kitchen at 3 am in the morning? Had someone broken in? My thoughts were interrupted by another crash, and the door flew open. This must be the acts of a ghost.. So, who am I going to call?

“GHOST BUSTERS!” A voice shouted from the kitchen, startling me.

I fell to the ground and cursed under my breath, trying to stay hidden. I quickly yet quietly shut the door, covering my mouth.

The voice reoccurred a minute later, sounding closer than before... almost like it was right outside the room.

“If there’s something weird, and it don’t look good.. Who ya gonna call?”

Out of instinct, I responded, “Ghostbusters!”

Why did I do that? It’s almost as though I was possessed.. like someone was speaking for me. I didn’t mean to, but I just blew my own cover.

“Ha!” The intruder laughed before politely knocking.

“Come in!” I said welcomingly, opening the door for the stranger.

I backed up, waiting for someone to enter. I was timid. I couldn’t breathe. This looked like the end for me. I could hear Jesus calling out for me, almost like a siren. It was oddly beautiful...

Jesus’ singing was rudely interrupted by the ghost finally confronting me. But.. It wasn’t a ghost at all.. It was....

MY BEST FRIEND?!?!?!

“Jesus, Rose, you scared the shit out of me-“

“Hey!” Jesus shouted, frowning at me.

“Oop- sorry Jesus. Love you.”

He smiled and patted my head, turning to Rose and saying, “You were always my favorite child.”

Jesus left without another word, leaving me in shock.

“Anyways, I just came to make sure you remembered to wear your pants.” Rose told me, grinning that crunchy grin.

“Of course I am. You know I never forget... Are you?”

“...No.”

My best friend showed up to my house, that I had mistaken for a ghost, to ask me if I was wearing pants.. and forgot to wear pants.

Silly girl, always forgetting her pants!! LOL.

I asked, “Haha! Anyways, you wanna go dress up as loki and thor and scare some children?”

“Of course.”

We rode of into the distance in our costumes, one of us pantless... *cough* my friend *cough*

#no pants #loser #cargo pants #overalls #sherlock #destiel #funny #LOL #ghostbusters #ghostfacers #jesusistheway

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