imnotreallybatman

[imnotreallybatman]

Child: Did you know an Octopus has 9 brains?

Me: what? No they don--

#meme #what #today i learned #learning #child teacher #octupus #fun facts #facts #random

[imnotreallybatman]

OnlyFans is banning porn when its high key a porn website.

#bruh what #shooting themselves in the foot #just a lil bit #onlyfans is gonna get shutdown #real quick #im foreseeing this #like who tf is gonna use onlyfans now #if someone wants to see exclusive content from a chef they go to patreon #onlyfans has always been for porn #who they kidding #we all knew

[imnotreallybatman]

BTW I never figured what this ad was for. But this wasn't the last time I saw it.

This is an ad that popped in my feed today

[imnotreallybatman]

When I worked retail I had a Karen, who I have never seen before, come into the store. She wanted a return on an item that was never paid for, and when I told her I couldn't do the return she, of course, flipped shit.

She start going on about how much she shops at this store, and she should have special treatment. She also told us she's never coming back (thank God)

But the funniest part is that was her first time at the store. I had never saw that woman before in my life.

[imnotreallybatman]

Mom, waking up at 3 pm: Have our LAZY children gotten out of bed???

Me and my sister, whose been up for hours:

#rude #mom is mean #hypocrite #she set the gingerbread house we made last night out #we have fruit flies #and bugs #and she left it out #we put it in the fridge last night #she took it out #to set it on the counter #and leave #rude af

[imnotreallybatman]

Why is it when I look at Gifs through Tumblr its just a bunch of bare asses.

Like I wanted to look at Loki gifs, not get mooned

#wtf #wtf tumblr #i thought you were against nudity #pick a side #god damn #i didnt need to see that #i need bleach #it would've been nice if they were guys asses #but noooo #thats just rude

[imnotreallybatman]

Loki: Tell me where I came from Father!

Odin: nah bruh, I'ma just gonna go to sleep

#the avengers #avengers #Loki #odin #odin really did just fall asleep #during a difficult conversation #like what a defense

[imnotreallybatman]

My hair is a color that no matter what, someone will argue with me about it

"my hair is blonde"

"no it isn't, it's brown"

"my hair is brown"

"no it isn't, it's ginger"

"my hair is ginger"

"no it isn't, it's blonde"

*flips table*

#internally screaming #life #its my hair #argument #flips table

[imnotreallybatman]

Me trying to follow Simblr drama like

[imnotreallybatman]

Me: I'm going to like this post

New Post Button: no your not

#this is rude #this thing #rude as fuck #it happens all the time #its annoying #damn it tumblr

[imnotreallybatman]

Day 5 in covid19 spring break: watching drama unfold about the Sims 4 and racism

#like #shitpost #lol what #2020 is crazy #its 3 in the morning #i need to go to bed

[imnotreallybatman]

My cat is trapped in the bathroom with me and he keeps sticking his paw in his water bowl and flicking water on me. Asshole

#cats #cats are assholes #this is rude #how rude #fucking rude #listen here you little shit

[imnotreallybatman]

This is an ad that popped in my feed today

#tumblr ads #tumblr ad meme #like wtf #seriously wtf #wtf tumblr #wtf man

[imnotreallybatman]

strong, despite broken

[imnotreallybatman]

You know you're pmsing when Say Yes to the Dress makes you tear up.

[imnotreallybatman]

I have to switch rooms with my sister (tiny room) and its gonna be a mess, but I'm an artist so I have to make it a beautiful mess.

If I fail I will call it abstract and you just can't understand the complexity you degenerates.

#weird #wat #my room #bedroom #but im an artist #artist #funny jokes #joke #jokesfordays #its supposed to be funny #you have to laugh #its the law #dont leave me hanging

[imnotreallybatman]

Just watched a commercial where a child put an ice cube in chocolate milk

#meme #funny memes #child #commercial #wtf #like wtf #how do you betray chocolate milk like that #chocolate #milk #chocolate milk #you little shit #listen #here #listen here you little shit