haha so anyways today i had a really bad shat in the toilets AT SCHOOL MIND YOU and there were these seniors sobbing and i feel bad cuz im interrupting their sobbing by this massive holy moly guacamole nuclear shat and all you can hear are my digestive systems breaking anyways can i kill you now that you heard everything before you spread it
28 notes
·
View notes
Dude when my social battery runs out there’s like no warning. I don’t get the 20% warnings it’s just I’ll be enjoying my time and then all of a sudden if one more word is spoken I’m going to kill myself and everyone around me.
44K notes
·
View notes
The only reason I'm still on twitter is because of banger of tweets like this.
Context: Elon suspended an account that tracked his private jet (using publicly available data) and then suspended several journalist who reported on the story.
12K notes
·
View notes
Y'know the thing people do in movies/shows where there like a monster/creature place and they poke a stick in there to investigate? Then it comes out shorter cause it got all chomped or broken? I want them to stick the stick in there and it comes back longer
I just grew your stick what're you gonna do about it
6K notes
·
View notes
The animal of the bisexual man
644 notes
·
View notes