chicadesantaana - Tumblr blog

chicadesantaana · 11 months

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I miss my brother. Fuck! What I would do to hold you in my arms. I wish I would have known about the pain you were feeling. I would have carried you when you couldn’t do it for yourself. I would have tried harder. Knowing I was the last person you talked to haunts me. Haunts me because I could have done more to pull you off the ledge. I live with that guilt everyday. I feel numb all the time. Life seems meaningless without you. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU FOREVER HERMANO!

#35mm #ishootfilm #film photography #shootfilm #pentax k1000 #dealing with grief #griefandloss #grief #griefjourney #suicide awareness #por vida

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chicadesantaana · 2 years

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Life update: Took Coast Highway from SoCal all the way to Portland Oregon, it was beautiful. I was there for a week and had the time of my life. I was excited to start a new journey in a new city. Then I got the worst call of my life informing me my only sibling, my brother, my best friend, one of the loves of my life had passed due to suicide. My heart is forever broken. I moved back home to California. Funny how I was ready to start my healing journey from my past trauma but life had other plans. As I navigate through my new “normal” I try and find a reason to understand everything that has happened. Life is so unfair and often seems senseless but I continue to see the beauty in everything. I like to believe that my brother is now living through me and everyone he left behind. I miss him.

I find solemn knowing my brother no longer aches and has finally found the peace he never got on earth. I miss him everyday and can’t wait to see him, sit down, listen to atmosphere and exchange perspectives on life <3

To anyone that has suicidal thoughts, I can’t see you but I feel your pain. Life can seem pointless but don’t do it. Life is beautiful with you in it <33333

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chicadesantaana · 2 years

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Trap dayzzz

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chicadesantaana · 2 years

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Met this guy on Fremont near Las Vegas. He makes crosses made of vines for extra cash. Count your blessing not everyone is as blessed as you!

#35mm #ishootfilm #film photography #shootfilm #pentax k1000 #420babe #girls who shoot film #original photography on tumblr #pentax #orginal art #original phography #original thoughts #las vegas #tax the church #tax the wealthy #tax the 1%#count your blessings #portra400

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chicadesantaana · 2 years

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Idk who these girls are but they let me take their picture. Women are so fucking beautiful <3

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chicadesantaana · 2 years

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Hi tumblr bbys…been a minute since I posted.

Was feeling uninspired.

Moving from California to Oregon. Hopefully that gets my creative juices flowing.

#original photography blog #ishootfilm #35mm #shootfilm #film photography #pentax k1000 #420babe #girls who shoot film #original photography on tumblr #film is forever #film is not dead #girls that smoke #original blog

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chicadesantaana · 2 years

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Road trip from San Francisco

#35mm #ishootfilm #film photography #shootfilm #pentax k1000 #420babe #smoke weed #girls who shoot film #pentax #bay area #original photography on tumblr #film is not dead #35mm color film #film is forever #original blog #original phography

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chicadesantaana · 2 years

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Life lately.

#Satan #dark soul #xo till we od #xo till we overdose #emo forever #emo girl

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chicadesantaana · 2 years

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Truchasssss

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chicadesantaana · 2 years

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Futuristic emo goth vibezzzzz

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chicadesantaana · 2 years

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Waiting for Satan, I mean Santa. Merry Christmas tumblr babies

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chicadesantaana · 2 years

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One year ago, trimming my babies, going on 24 hours without sleep, sippin on champagne, ringing in the New Year

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chicadesantaana · 2 years

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One thing I’ve learned watching a grow cycle. It’s a sweet science.

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chicadesantaana · 2 years

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Summers in SF

#35mm #ishootfilm #film photography #shootfilm #pentax k1000 #420babe #bay area #girls who shoot film #original phography #original photography on tumblr #original blog #picture of the day #pentax #golden gate bridge #san fransico #california life #California

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chicadesantaana · 2 years

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As she stood in front of him. She took off her lace panties knowing at the same time she was taking off a part of her innocence. A part of her soul. His callous eyes piercing her skin. Leaving nothing but bruised skin behind. Sweet memories she thought. Her perspective of life distorted. She slept. Deeper into her memories.

End.

#thoughts #emo forever #emo girl #emo as hell #writing #original thoughts #original blog #original post #freedom #expression #depression

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chicadesantaana · 2 years

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Clear quartz lately

#good vibrations #energía #energy #healing #spiritual growth #crystals #crystal energy #minerals #cleansing #mexican girl #mexicana #latina girl #buenas vibras #xo till we od #xo till we overdose

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chicadesantaana · 2 years

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#sadvibes today

#emo forever #emo girl #sad girl

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