cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

Am I just an object for people to project onto? Why is everyone always trying to make me into someone else? I am screaming into a void and there is no one on the other side

#heartache #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #tw abuse #emotional abuse #project #becoming someone else #listen #why am i not good enough #screaming into the void #shouting into the void #scream #void #nobody #nobody there

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

My mother told me that no one will believe me because I have mental health issues

#heartache #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #tw abuse #emotional abuse #parental abuse #toxic parents #discrimination #mental health discrimination

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

Why don't you listen to me? No is a complete sentence. It means I don't want to. It means leave me alone. It means, you're making me uncomfortable. It means stop. When you think my no means try harder, it shows that you don't care what I want. You don't care about me.

#heartache #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #listen #no is a complete sentence #no is no #uncomfortable #stop #don't care #care #tw abuse #emotional abuse #me

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

You don't see me when I'm imploding. You only see me when I'm whole.

#heartache #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #imploding #whole #seen #see me

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

Wouldn't it be easier to give in and give up? To give myself away? What am I fighting so hard for?

#heartache #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #give in #give up #fighting #why #toxic parents

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

Why am I not good enough for you? Why am I destroying myself trying?

#heartache #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #good enough #this is destroying me #tw abuse #parental abuse #trying #pointless

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

My anger swallows me whole

#heartache #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #anger

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

My mother threatens me all the time. She holds money, home, food, and education all as a consequence of what she deems to be correct behaviour. And I see her face. She enjoys being in a position of power, having all the power, and I am always powerless. Nobody believes me. "Compartmentalize," they say, as if I can put all the hurt and pain into a perfect little box. "She's struggling and going through a hard time," they say, as if her pain justifies mine. "Stop being such a brat," they say, as I scream and scream and scream in a hundred different ways.

#heartache #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #tw abuse #emotional abuse #parental abuse #female abusers #toxic parents #childhood trauma #power #powerless #threats #don't understand #alone #compartmentalize #justification #bratty #box #pain #scream #scream into the void

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

I am alone

#heartache #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #alone

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

There is chaos in my mind

#heartache #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #chaos #mind

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

I doubt the way I feel. I wonder, is it real? Or am I just making up reasons to be upset/angry/me

#heartache #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #doubt #real #making up #reasons #upset #angry #me

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

Everything is underwater

#heartache #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #everything #underwater #vision

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

Wouldn't life be easier if I were the way I'm supposed to be?

#heartache #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #life #easy #way #supposed #being

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

Nobody taught me how to be a person the right way

#heartache #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #nobody #teach #taught #person #people #right #correct #way #method

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

I don't know how to move on. I don't know how to leave people or places or things behind or leave them alone. I crave sameness the same way I crave change.

#heartache #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #moving #moving on #letting go #people #places #things #same #sameness #change

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

Someone help me, I can't breathe

#heartache #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #help #please help #can't breathe

[cast-adrift-in-the-endless-sea]

I wish there wasn't a storm in my head.

#heartache #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #mental health #mental illness #spilled words #storm #mind