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bon-bon-fire · 3 months

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Even for You, Two Years is Too Long

I had a dream I saw you. I was talking with a friend at a grocery store and saw you across the way at the checkout stand. The second I saw you, everything else around me melted, and all the sounds started to mumble and fade. I didn’t even say excuse me to my friend I was with, I didn’t explain anything, I just felt my feet moving towards you without control. We kept eye contact the whole time, you were young maybe like 19. Your skin was clear, I couldn’t even make out all your freckles and you weren’t tan like you have become in your days of wandering and waiting on beaches and in sunny cities. your eyes were bluer than I’d ever seen them, the kind of blue that crayola would want to sample for a new line of crayons featuring all “new” colors. Your hair was redder and more curly than a pile of leaves in an east coast fall. Your smile was bigger than happiness itself.

When I got to you, I got to hug you so tight, and for so long. And I told you how I missed you, and how you’ve always been my best friend and most favorite person in the whole world. And I told you that you looked really good and healthy. You told me you missed me too. And you told me that you were happy, and that you’d finally figured out how to provide enough for yourself, and that you had a new girlfriend. She came out of the store and gave you a kiss and a big hug too. And I was so glad to see you looking so good, and feeling even better. You said you were in town and that we should hang out, I said ok and then we both went to our cars. I drove home but you were in front of me the whole time. Turns out you guys had rented the air BnB right across the street from my house. Then you came over and invited me to go swimming with you guys. I was rummaging through my closet looking for my bathing suit when I woke up.

When I woke up I didn’t understand where I was. The bed I sleep on every night was foreign. The neighborhood outside my window was another country for all I could tell. My own room could’ve been another world like Narnia at the back of a closet. Nothing around me felt real. Not as real as it felt seeing you just a moment ago. Cause when I woke up it was winter outside again, and my hip was hurting where I was laying cause I’m actually getting old, and the worst was that you weren’t staying in the house across the street, in fact you weren’t anywhere nearby and I hadn’t heard from you in over 2 years. And I was confused cause how could this be my reality?

I hate that this is my reality. And in this reality, it’s been over two years since I heard from you. And it sucks cause the last thing you said to me was, “go outside and find the moon. Are you looking at it!? Good. Cause I’m looking at the same one.” And then you laughed and said you’d saw that in a movie once and thought I might like it. Funny thing is, I really liked it. And I’ve seen the movie you got it from, but I can’t remember which movie it even is. And in the 2 years since then, I don’t even care to figure it out cause the movie is never gonna be as cool as it was when you said it to me.

#Dreams #writing #creative writing #DJ Binge #best friends #missing #lost #miss you #dream writing #poetry

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