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bitter-coffeecup · 26 days

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I knew it was a mistake to watch JJk, i shouldve just admired them from afar.

Animation belongs to: thegodoffortune on yt!

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bitter-coffeecup · 1 month

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@somthingstupid247

This is definitely not a google drive full of the sleep stuff from the Headspace app, including sleepcasts, music, and wind down meditation, that normally costs 17.99 a month, no siree and you definitely shouldnt share this with people

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bitter-coffeecup · 3 months

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bitter-coffeecup · 4 months

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i really want there to be a situation where billy transforms back in front of the league at it's like

"Captain Marvel?"

Quick play dumb.

"Who's Captain Marvel?"

Not that dumb!

but it WORKS and the league believes that he had been de-aged to a child without his memories

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bitter-coffeecup · 4 months

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Billy: I don't want to be adopted by anyone from the League. Batman asked and I had to buy him an ice cream cause I felt bad for saying no.

Freddy: Ha, at least no one tried anymore, right? Eugene and I have a betting pool, so please tell me they hate you

Billy: Haha. I mean, Wonder Woman kinda seems like she wants to? She pretty much tackled me into a hug and made me regret drinking coffee-

Freddy: Backtrack. Backtrack. Wonder Woman. Wants to adopt you.

Billy: I mean, yeah, but of course I said no-

Freddy: WONDER WOMAN. WANTS TO ADOPT US.

Billy: I don't see how this relates to you but-

Freddy, writing in the Shazam Fam GC: everybody buckle up new mom just dropped

-

Diana, proudly showing off pictures of her newly adopted kids: And this is my beloved Mary. My beloved Eugene. My beloved darling Darla, and my beloved Pedro, and my beloved Freddy, and my beloved Billy. They enjoy video games and snacks

Bruce, taking this as an obvious challenge, taking out the Batfamily Batalbum: This is Jason. His favorite hobby is murder

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bitter-coffeecup · 4 months

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AU where Billy Batson is investigating some random magic issue because his powers have been depleted as a consequence, meaning he temporarily can’t be Captain Marvel, but he somehow accidentally tips off Zatanna who’s working in the watchtower that day. She senses the sudden lack of magic in Fawcett City and tries to contact Marvel to warn him, but he can’t be reached so she calls up a few members of the JL to check it out because they want to make sure he’s okay.

Batman, Zatanna, The Flash, and Wonder Woman start wandering through Fawcett with no plan, just looking for some kind of sign that Cap is nearby, when they see this kid in a tattered red hoodie open a PORTAL, and they’re like what the fuck?! So they slip through the portal right before it closes and suddenly they’re in this infinite magical cave, and the boy is pissed. And he’s really not open to questions.

“What’s your name, kid?”

“None of your business.”

“Where are we?”

“Also none of your business.”

The heroes aren’t idiots, though. They know this kid has something to do with Cap’s disappearance, so they ask him questions until he finally gets tired of them and says, “I’m his…protégé.”

“Cap has a protégé?”

“Yes. That’s me.”

“Prove it.”

“Superman works as a news reporter at the Daily Planet.”

“…Oh shit.”

Batman tries to talk to him about how he shouldn’t know this kind of stuff but the kid hits him back with, “You have like ten kids who know everyone’s identities too. Why are Captain Marvel and I suddenly breaking protocol?” Point taken.

So now there’s this magical kid who’s apparently in line to become the next Champion of Magic who knows all of the JL’s secrets through Captain Marvel, and they still don’t know WHERE Cap is so they take him back to the watchtower and try to get as much info from him as possible. It only makes them more confused.

“Where is Captain Marvel?”

“He’s stuck in eternity.”

“What does that mean?”

“He doesn’t have a corporeal form right now.”

“He- what the fuck? How did that happen?”

“His powers were depleted after a big fight last week.”

“But is that reversible?”

“That’s what I was working on.”

“And what were you doing, exactly?”

“I was…trying to help him get his strength back.”

“Okay? How can we help?”

“Umm, you can’t.”

“Is he okay? In eternity?”

“Yeah yeah, don’t worry about it.”

“How do you know he’s okay?”

“We…have a…shared consciousness?”

“Excuse me??”

“I take it back.”

“You can’t just take that back?!“

“It’s Champion of Magic stuff, okay?! You wouldn’t understand!”

The kid’s story just keeps getting weirder and weirder until he refuses to answer questions, leaving them more in the dark than they were before.

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bitter-coffeecup · 4 months

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reblog if you’ve read fanfictions that are more professional, better written than some actual novels. I’m trying to see something

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bitter-coffeecup · 6 months

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bitter-coffeecup · 8 months

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"You know how to clean up a crime scene but not how to wash the fucking dishes ?!?

...

How is that even possible?! "

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bitter-coffeecup · 11 months

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Have em doodle porst👀

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bitter-coffeecup · 11 months

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Billy Batson and Damian Wayne being weirdly good friends (ft. the occasional Jon Kent)

Billy befriends Damian after the JL learns his real identity. Batman approached him and told him they should meet since they’re the same age.

At first, it’s awkward because Damian isn’t interested in making friends, and Billy’s mad that Batman is essentially sending him to the kids' table. Until…

Damian: “Why must my father insist that I socialize? I can handle myself!” Billy: “Thank you! I’ve been on my own since I was six. I don’t need an adult to tell me what to do.” Damian: “…I like you.” Billy: “Wanna spy on the Justice League?” Damian: “Yes.”

Batman immediately regrets his decision.

At first, the two don’t really talk outside of meetings or happenstance, but when they do, they’re like twins. They know exactly what the other is thinking at all times. (The adults are terrified.)

Both end up bonding over their upbringing, specifically the fact that they were abused/traumatized/malnourished for several years. That marks the point where they start talking regularly.

Damian nearly jumps out of his skin the first time Billy speaks to him in Arabic (courtesy of the Islamic Prophet, Solomon.) They now speak exclusively in Arabic when they gossip.

They will cut a bitch. Do not get on either’s bad side.

Every time one of them says something out of pocket, the other one high-fives them. Even Jon is concerned (and very jealous.)

Billy is required to attend the same school as the Teen Titans and YJ for a bit as a condition of staying in the JL so he and Damian end up taking a few classes together.

Billy “I have Zeus on speed dial” Batson and Damian “I got a PhD in The Classics at age six” Wayne proceed to roast their history professors in the back of the classroom for all of the misinformation.

Damian: “Okay so I really need a human skull, but you can’t ask why.” Billy: “As long as you also don’t ask why.” *pulls out several pristine human skulls from pocket dimension* “Take your pick.” Damian: “…this one.” Jon: “what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck”

They’re both eerily good at schooling their emotions due to countless years of emotional abuse and neglect. If anything goes wrong during a mission, it’s like a switch is flipped. They are suddenly completely level-headed.

Damian gifts Billy a PC that he built himself so they can play games together without so much lag. (It’s literally just Minecraft on creative mode. They design a working amusement park together.)

Both have been permanently banned from all zoos on the eastern seaboard. Damian tried to “liberate” the ostriches, and Billy taught the gorillas swear words in sign language.

Everyone Else: “We need to find civilization on this desert planet we crashed landed on or we’ll starve.” Billy and Damian: “The human body can go ten days without food.” Everyone: “…Are you okay?” Billy and Damian: “Not important.”

Billy, Jon, Colin, and Damian have a group chat where they regularly place bets on dumb mishaps the adults get themselves into. The one rule is they can’t bet with cash. Thus they create a trading system made entirely of local snacks, Pokémon cards, supernatural knick-knacks, and dares.

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bitter-coffeecup · 11 months

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Feng Xin teaches Mu Qing how to open a banana

(audio from @/thebasementyard)

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bitter-coffeecup · 1 year

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So I've been playing I Was a Teenage Exocolonist, letting it eat up my every waking thought, as one does. And while I've got a fic with some love for mama Flulu in the works, I've got a fun little AU in the back of my head as well, but I don't think I'll ever get to writing it. But it needs to be written out, so here you go.

Basically: what if ALL the Stratos kids, while Sol is still asleep from hitting their head during the crash, wake up and realize that they've got memories of (some of) the past timelines. BUT - they all think Sol is the only one who doesn't?

Marz is the first one to awaken to it - memories of the colony falling and, most importantly to her, Lum ruining them all. And she's not about to let that happen. But she also very quickly realizes that if she goes around telling people, bad things are probably going to happen. So she stays quiet and observant.

Which is how she notices that some of the other kids aren't quite acting like themselves. Tang and Dys suddenly spend time together again, both reaching out in their own awkward ways. Anemone clings to Kom even more than usual, Tammy worries and frets, but starts working harder to study and learn basic medicine, and Cal throws himself into biology and food production with an unprecedented vengeance. All trying to act like everything is normal.

In short, they're being very obvious that there's something up, but trying to hide it.

All except Sol. Nothing out of the ordinary seems to be happening with them - they're just an ordinary kid, doing ordinary kid things.

So Marz calls for a meeting between all the "in the know" kids, and outright tells them: "I have memories of past lives... and I think you all have, too".

Cue the lot of them starting to pool their memories and plan ahead for the future. The famine, the Shimmer, the Heliopause, and everything else. There must be a way for them to avoid all that pain and suffering, they just need to work together.

Most importantly: they need to protect Sol, because in all their memories, Sol is their ray of sunshine in human form. Too good for this world, too pure. And since they're the only one who doesn't know about what's coming (or so they think), they've got to make sure they stay safe.

It's a quest to save the colony and protect Sol's happiness, no matter what may happen. They've got 10 years to fix everything, they can do this.

Meanwhile, Sol absolutely has all of their memories of the past timelines. All of them. So why aren't the other kids noticing anything off about Sol? That would be because Sol learned real fast to not talk about past lives and not acting normal - because the one time they did, in what would be their "second playthrough", they got institutionalized. And they're not going to chance anything like that again.

This is essentially a Sol who's lived a lot of lives and is starting to get very tired of it all, to the point where they're just... going with the flow. Letting things happen. They go to school, help out where they can, try to enjoy life as it comes. Not seeking a specific goal or outcome. And if their friends are suddenly acting a little stranger, seeking them out more, being more active in a way? Well, maybe that's just this life's way of putting a spin on things.

And if, when the Heliopause arrives, Rex and Nomi-Nomi are even more friendly towards them and Vace is... still an asshole, but almost tempered by something (and steers clear of Nem outside of unavoidable interactions)? Well, that's just less to worry about and more hugs for them!

(Marz is quick to catch on, once again, and all three are accepted into the Save the Future Council soon after).

How will this new timeline end? With everyone working together, will the Colony rise or fall? When fate no longer rests upon one child's shoulders, how will everything change? I'll leave that up for you guys to speculate about.

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bitter-coffeecup · 1 year

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seems to apply only to B and up, and man you wouldn't believe how long it took me to get all of this

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Nightbringer Surprise Guests

Lucifer

I'm feeling good. Why don't we open a bottle of my prized Demonus?

1. Tap Face

2. Rub Head

3. Rub Chest

I know you want to give me a high five, don't you? Fine, just this once. Call it a special occasion.

1. High Five

2. Rub Chest

3. Tap Arm

Mammon

We'll be invincible if we Team up!

1. Rub Face

2. Rub Face

3. Rub Face

Hey, hey, hey! The Great Mammon makes his mark!

1. High Five

2. Rub Head

3. Rub Head

Leviathan

Haha, let's experience tha taste of victory together!

1. Tap Head

2. Rub Face

3. Rub Head

Let's great each other like Normies would!

1. High Five

2. Rub Head

3. Tap Face

Satan

We won thanks to me.

1. Rub Face

2. Tap Chest

3. (Rub/Tap Chest, Tap/Rub Arm, Tap/Rub Head, Rub Face) Tap Face (couldn't get one with more hearts???)

Is this how one shares happiness? Give me a high five.

1. High Five

2. Rub Head

3. Tap Chest

Asmodeus

A win for me is as natural as breathing air!

1. Rub Head

2. Rub Chest

3. Rub Arm

Come on, hold out your hand. High five <3

1. High Five

2. Rub Head

3. Rub Face

Beelzebub

Thanks to you, I was able to get through it despite being hungry.

1. Tap Head

2. Tap Head

3. Rub Chest

Not bad, huh? It's time for a victory hamburger!

1. High Five

2. Rub Chest

3. Rub Arm

Belphegor

You want to hang out with me? All right, you got it.

1. Rub Head

2. Rub Face

3. Rub Head

All right... you want me to hold up my hand, right?

1. High Five

2. Rub Head

3. Rub Head

Diavolo

It really does feel good to win, doesn't it!

1. Rub Head

2. Rub Head

3. Tap Head

All right, let's savor the joy of victory... Just you and me!

1. High Five

2. Rub Face

3. Tap Face

Barbatos

Was I of any help to you?

1. Tap Head

2. Tap Head

3. Rub Head

Is this where we do the so-called "high five"? Someone taught me how to do it.

1. High Five

2. Rub Head

3. Tap Head

Solomon

You're my best student, you know? As your teacher, you make me proud

1. Tap Chest

2. Rub Chest

3. Rub Chest

Hey! It felt good to win like that, huh? We make a truly amazing teacher and apprentice team, am I right?

1. High Five

2. Tap Chest

3. Rub Head

Simeon

I'm super excited right now, but how about you?

1. Rub Head

2. Rub Face

3. Rub Arm

How about we see whether exchanging greetings will deepen our bond?

1. High Five

2. Rub Head

3. Rub Face

Luke

...So how was it? Did I look cool?

1. Rub Head

2. Rub Face

3. Rub Arm

Okay here we go! It's time for a high five!

1. High Five

2. Rub Head

3. Rub Head

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bitter-coffeecup · 1 year

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👀

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bitter-coffeecup · 1 year

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Trip to Waffle House (Obey Me!)

━━━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━━━ You take the brothers to Waffle House for some breakfast. You pull up and there's already gunshots ringing through the lot. "It's ok, c'mon c'mon...ignore the cook punching that customer."

»Characters: Demon bros + Dateables »Tags: ⚠️NSFW, Shitpost/Humor, Bulleted Style fic, Gender Neutral, Regret

Lucifer:

Refuses to order anything

"This is not a dining establishment."

Thinks this makes the Devildom look like the Celestial Realm

He now understands why you're built strong

"Where's the manager? He's dead?"

ENOUGH

Got fed up and stopped the chaos

For once there was a little bit of peace in a waffle house if only for a few minutes

Mammon:

"Aw fuck yeah cheap food!"

Is unbothered by the chaos, ignores it.

Until he gets hit with food

Starts a brawl with the other patrons

Ended up going viral online

Levi:

"In Ruri we trust" He prays

Was anxious the entire time

Made sure to sit between Lucifer and Beel for safety

Thought the food was good but

Please don't ever make him go there again

Satan:

Found it entertaining

"Waffle House Weather Index? Fascinating!"

"Is that a cat giving birth in the corner?"

Thought food was okay

Still a fan though and would like to come back again with you

Also loves that Lucifer hates it

Asmo:

Took some convincing to get him to step foot inside but the gunshots helped

Didn't bother to eat either

He swears he saw something move on Mammon's plate

"This is so not going on Devilgram."

Never again

Beel:

"Mm..mmph!!!"

Was excited to try something new

Dinner and a show!

Took over for the cook so they could go on break

No complaints, he would come back again

Enjoyed it the most out of everyone

Belphie:

"This...this is great."

Enjoyed the chaos, found it hilarious

Could comfortably nap to everyone's screaming, it was comforting

Lucifer hates it and Beel loves it so what's not to love?

Food was ok

Would come back again

━━━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━━━

You guys went on a trip to the human world and Dia wanted to stop somewhere for breakfast. He liked the name Waffle House and decided to stop there. You tried to dissuade him but he refused. Even pulling up and hearing gunshots he wasn't deterred. Barbatos couldn't stop him.

Barbatos:

Slammed a glock on the table as soon as they sat

Politely declined to eat

Found the place interesting by how unregulated it was but he wouldn't come back again

Diavolo:

Was a little disappointed it actually wasn't made to look like a house of waffles

Fascinated by the vibe though

"Do you fight to the death here?"

"I see."

Orders waffles of course

Thinks they're just okay

Yeah he doesn't want to come back again