vultureboi

[vultureboi]

MDZS described by me while sugar high:

Spoilers and mature warning

The world’s enemy, the Yiling Patriarch, is brought back from the dead into a gay lunatic’s body. Now, he has to avoid people finding out he’s really Wei Wuxian and he does a horrible job at it by continuously doing things only the Yiling Patriarch can do. Such as, using a flute to summon the ghost general, the Yiling Patriarch’s right hand man the second something goes wrong. Not to mention, using a song that was made for him by one of the people WHO WAS RIGHT NEXT TO HIM!!!

Now, this cool-headed badass has to drag around the Yiling Patriarch and defend him from blame for things he did not do. But people are good at lying. So they find out anyways that he’s the Yiling Patriarch and blame everything on him.

Eventually, they find out who plotted the stuff from the beginning! Even the revival of the Yiling Patriarch! Turns out, he’s a huge wuss and gives himself up right away.

As the two characters make their way on their honeymoon accompanied by their ungendered donkey, Wei Wuxian says “we should have sex everyday” to which the cool-headed badass replies “everyday means everyday” and then they fuck.

The end.

#mdzs #mxtx #mao dao zu shi #grandmaster of demonic cultivation

[vultureboi]

SVSSS described by me while high on sugar:

Spoilers and Mature warning!!

Oh no! The MC is trapped in the worst book ever written as the character who gets turned into a human stick by the book’s protagonist! Well shit, I guess he should probably suck up to the protagonist early on and save himself from a gruesome- oh… wait. There’s a shitty system that deducts points if he goes out of character. Well shit.

But wait! After turning the protagonist gay, he kicks him into Hell and breaks his heart!

Protagonist comes back and is a yandere!!!

So basically, he got rid of the future where he becomes a human stick and instead created a future where the world ends and he’s fucked roughly on a cave floor because he done turned the protagonist gay.

But wait! Turns out! It was just the protagonist possessed! So it wasn’t his fault for brutally fucking his shizun! So that’s thrown out the window! And then they live happily ever after.

#svsss #scum villian self saving system #mxtx svsss #mtxt #book review #but while sugar high #funny #brutally accurate #maybe a bit salty about the r^pe scene #totally loved the books tho

[vultureboi]

Duolingo is such an unhealthy relationship. Like- imagine you miss one day of studying and when you get back, Duo is angry with you? Like dude. I was gone for one day.

Say you’re done for one week, he starts to try and do all sorts of things to get you back. “Am I coming on too strong?” Is the one I just got. Like dude. Yes. You’re coming on too strong. This is toxic behavior my dude. People need their space!!! XD

#duolingo funny #duolingo #funny #Duolingo is an unhealthy relationship

[vultureboi]

All bakudeku fans want to throw the two of them into a hamster ball and shake them violently until they get along. We want to force these two emotionally immature men to kiss and make up. We want to tie them up. We want to put them in a “get along” shirt. FUCKING GLUE THEIR HANDS TOGETHER!!

I read a manga called Gakuen Alice. And so much was accomplished when the love interest and the main character LITERALLY HAD THEIR HANDS GLUED TOGETHER!! Yes, Natsume ended up lying afterwards and saying “we’re still stuck” for THREE FUCKING DAYS, TORTURING MIKAN!! WHICH ONLY PROVES MY FUCKING POINT!!

Someone needs to make a fanfic of this… combine the two mangas. Oh god. It kinda works. Izuku is “powerless” and Katsuki has super strong fire based powers. OH MY GOD, there’s a floating kid! Uraraka!! Is there an invisible kid? I can’t remember. DUDE I NEED THIS NOW!!!

#gakuen alice #alice academy #mashup #manga mashup #MHA #bnha #Boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bakudeku #mha bakudeku #bnha bakudeku #Izuku as Mikan #Bakugou as Natsume #also I kinda want Izuku to wear strawberry panties like mikan #probably forced #katsuki then continues to call him strawberry print #I feel like this could be great if done right #bakudeku rant #rant

[vultureboi]

Someone needs to make a giant hot dog warmer. Like- hear me out.

Imagine laying on a perfectly warm crevice between two rollers. Then slowly, you rotate through the warmth. You’re in heaven. You’re a hot dog. You’re comfy. You’re warm.

I need this. Why do I need this??

#hot dog #hot dog warmer #human sized hot dog warmer #is this a bed? #I kinda want to sleep in it

[vultureboi]

OH MY GOD IS THIS WHY DEKU’S COLOR IS GREEN?!? HE’S THE SYMBOL OF HOPE!!

I wondered why green is so associated with hope and then I remembered being 8 and seeing a little plant sprout after a few days of waiting and. Yeah. I get it now.

#MHA #hope #mha deku #midoriya izuku one for all #midoriya izuku ofa #midoriya izuku #izuku midoriya #Deku #my hero academia #Boku no hero academia #bnha #bnha Deku

[vultureboi]

The TGCF books in a nutshell:

A street rat “ruins” a cool ceremony by almost dying and everyone blames him. But is saved by this awesome prince guy and the kid falls in love. Then proceeds to be a stalker for the next 800yrs.

But! Turns out, there’s already a stalker! Who has been stalking the prince character since his fucking birth. And is determined to make him exactly like him?? Like- an identical copy??? So he ruins his life time and time again.

Meanwhile this prince character is stuck living hell on earth while being immortal and being stabbed thousands of times over the course of 800yrs, was framed for so much shit, everyone left him at some point, his parents hung themselves and now their souls are in a silk band that is sentient and protects the prince.

Then the stalker number 1 reveals himself and is super gentlemanly to him and treats him like a fucking Princess. The sexual tension is suffocating.

They go on this huge goose chase and eventually find out that stalker number 2 is the cause of everything. So then everyone prepares for battle. And then the whole heavenly temple realm thing becomes a giant mecha with a flaming sword. And the prince and stalker number 1 are on a giant statue of the prince fighting with said heavenly realm mecha. So now it’s a mecha fight.

Then it all comes to a close and the prince and stalker number 1 become husband and wife(?) and live happily ever after.

#tgcf funny #tgcf spoilers #tgcf in a nutshell #tgcf books #spoilers

[vultureboi]

Hua Cheng: I have a special someone *describes Xie Lian*

Xie Lian: I wonder who San Lang’s wonderful person is?

The audience:

#hualian #Hua Cheng #xie lian #hua cheng x xie lian #tgcf #tgcf funny #oblivious #how is he so oblivious #you’re over 800yrs old #you can’t blame it on being young and inexperienced

[vultureboi]

Dudes… I just finished reading MDZS Night Flight part 1 in book 4.

-SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT-

The angst. The grief. Oh my god. He fucking… Wen Ning killed him? ;-;

Okay, first of all, I gotta say. These books are great at making you side with the main character even if their actions are seen as “evil”. You can relate and you feel the characters logic. But then every other character in their world hates them and assumes the worst. People lie and deceive and leave Wei Wuxian the bad guy in every scenario. Like- the dude just wants to help people who deserve help and get rid of evil people. That should be a good thing. Yeah maybe the killing part isn’t so great. But my god.

And then that clan copying the Wen clan with the branding sticks? wtf? I’m so glad Wei Wuxian has the guts to be direct and not afraid of consequences. He literally told off this guys sins in front of all the head cultivators as if he was talking about the weather! Then they say that he’s the one in the wrong? Bro. That’s so cruel.

And Lan Wangji standing up for him? Hell yeah! He understands!! Sort of…? But like- he knows he means well! He’s not evil! He’s trying to make things right!

#mdzs #mdzs spoilers #mdzs book 4 spoilers #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mo dao zu shi #book 4 #wei wuxian #lan wangji #unfair #spoilers #angst #there better be a happy ending to this shit

[vultureboi]

There, fixed the meme I messed up.

#2ha #the husky and his white cat shizun #funny #how tough are you #meme #memes #SpongeBob memes

[vultureboi]

This is something I would do if I ever got any famous things done whether they’re porn or fanfiction or whatever.

liberté, egalité, fraternité et yaoi

[vultureboi]

I want to learn to draw hualian. I want to draw them. LET ME DO ART!!!

#art block #hualian #hua cheng x xie lian #xie lian #hua Cheng #frustrated

[vultureboi]

This book… my god. I JUST started it and it’s already killing me!! The end of the second book had me furious and now I’m suffering with the love triangle! It’s like none I’ve ever seen!!

He likes both of them but also hates one of them at the same time and I’m just sitting here confused as FUCK!! Shi Mei and Shizun aren’t the typical rivals! They’re both like- “I could never compare to him” and I’m just like- BITCH!!

This could all be fixed by polyamory!!!

#the husky and his white cat shizun #erha he ta de bai mao shizun #chu wanning #mo ran #shi mei #chu wanning x mo ran #mo ran x chu wanning #mo ran x shi Mei #love triangle #this can be solved with polyamory #polyamory could fix this #i can’t do this #this book is so good #this book is destroying me #danmei

[vultureboi]

Um. Excuse me???? I think you’re a little late.

I keep reading “do no treply” XD

#weird #funny #i’m posting random shit #random

[vultureboi]

Dude. This book is killing me. I just finished the first one and I’m like- dead. THEY ENDED IT ON THE BIGGEST FUCKINH CLIFFHANGER!! wtf?!?

“Before he lost consciousness” THE END?!? WHAT THE FUCK?!?

#the husky and his white cat shizun #mo ran #mo ran x chu wanning #chu wanning #angst #heartbreak #cliffhanger

[vultureboi]

Let’s take a moment to appreciate little Hua Cheng and his cute but threatening face XD

I love he still has the pearl in his hair lol

Xie Lian being super obedient in this picture, man. He’s like- he’s the boss, not me. He wears the pants in the relationship XD

Even further proof that Xie Lian is a bottom. But I can also see Hua Cheng being “punish me for my sins” which is kinda hot. DAMN THEY’RE JUST A PERFECT COUPLE!!

#heaven officials blessing spoilers #tgcf spoilers #tgcf #tgcf official art #funny #little Hua Cheng #child Hua Cheng #hua cheng #hualian #xie lian

[vultureboi]

Bro, im reading book 3 of TGCF

And XIE LIAN GOES INTO HEAT?!? He gets like- super horny and then when the kid was trying to get his hair he was moaning and I’m like DUDE. And then we get this art??? WTF

LOOK AT HIS CHEST!! HES SO BEAUTIFUL!! WTF?!? I read this part at 5am and I’m like “oh no, it’s too early for this much spice”

Please I can’t!!!

Then the fucking women spirit things were like “wow what’s going on in there????” They somehow got the kid interested (I know who the kid is, I’m just not saying it yet) and I’m like “they look like Xie Lian don’t they?” THEY GUESSED HE WAS GAY

#tgcf #tgcf spoilers #book 3 #heat #sexy tease #spicy content #xie lian