triashawrites

[triashawrites]

loving you isn't butterflies, it is as natural as breathing. it doesn't take an effort; but when when the action of loving is absent, it is noxious to the soul, perilous to the mind, insalubrious for the body.

#love story #lovers #love quotes #love poem #love #self love

[triashawrites]

Reason to Live #9166

  Keeping my older family members company. – Guest Submission

(Please don’t add negative comments to these posts.)

[triashawrites]

chronic fatigue from mental illness and neurodivergency isn't something you can just will your way out of. your nervous system is part of your body. your brain is an organ. the fatigue is real. you're not lazy. so be kinder to yourself. be gentler with your bodymind.

[triashawrites]

Visit by Ted Hughes Lucas, my friend, one Among those three or four who stay unchanged Like a separate self, A stone in the bed of the river Under every change, became your friend. I heard of it, alerted. I was sitting Youth away in an office near Slough, Morning and evening between Slough and Holborn, Hoarding wage to fund a leap to freedom And the other side of the earth - a free-fall To strip my chrysalis off me in the slipstream. Weekends I recidived Into Alma Mater. Girl-friend Shared a supervisor and weekly session With your American rival and you. She detested you. She fed snapshots Of you and she did not know what Inflammable celluloid into my silent Insatiable future, my blind-man’s-buff Internal torch of search. With my friend, After midnight, I stood in a garden Lobbing soil-clods up at a dark window. Drunk, he was certain it was yours. Half as drunk, I did not know he was wrong. Nor did I know I was being auditioned For the male lead in your drama, Miming through the first easy movements As if with eyes closed, feeling for the role. As if a puppet were being tried on its strings, Or a dead frog’s legs touched by electrodes. I jigged through those gestures - watched and judged Only by starry darkness and a shadow. Unknown to you and not knowing you. Aiming to find you, and missing, and again missing. Flinging earth at a glass that could not protect you Because you were not there. Ten years after your death I meet on a page of your journal, as never before, The shock of your joy When your heard that. The then shock Of your prayers. And under those prayers your panic That prayers might not create the miracle, Then, under the panic, the nightmare That came rolling to crush you: Your alternative - the unthinkable Old despair and the new agony Melting into one familiar hell. Suddenly I read all this - Your actual words, as they floated Out through your throat and tongue onto your page - Just as when your daughter, years ago now, Drifting in, gazing up into my face, Mystified, Where I worked alone In the silent house, asked, suddenly: ‘Daddy, where’s Mummy?’ The freezing soil Of the garden, as I clawed it. All round me that midnight’s Giant clock of frost. And somewhere Inside it, wanting to feel nothing, A pulse of fever. Somewhere Inside that numbness of the earth Our future trying to happen. I look up - as if to meet your voice With all its urgent future That has burst in on me. Then look back At the book of the printed words. You are ten years dead. It is only a story. Your story. My story.

[triashawrites]

tonight i feel like dying. please tell me how to persist. my heart's a tempest. mind's a maelstorm. suffocating. strangled. i cannot study. i have got a test tomorrow. anything. how to subsist?

#someone help #melancholy #tw sui implied

[triashawrites]

i stand amid fifty thousand souls; unspeakably lonely, drinking from a brewed syrup of melancholy.

#sad poetry #existence #life #love #pessimism #spilled poetry #dark academia #literature #art #dead poetic #melancholy

[triashawrites]

Spring is your favourite time of the year, dearly departed friend. Your carefree echoes of a familiar song. I hope, this year too, it keeps you rested, human, fondly shrouded in its vibrant void. I wish you well, I wish you plenty of holidays and merry detours. And I hope I find kinder things to hold on to, on obsidian and brooding nights such as this one. For time invites me yet again to think of a sweet friendship left sordid. But tonight, my heart's disconsolate. Spring erupts in an ultraviolet chaos; but the colours of the world have fallen from my eyes.

[triashawrites]

you never get over your first love, not if its your best friend.

[triashawrites]

Martha Gellhorn, Selected Letters

[triashawrites]

— Clarice Lispector, from “Report on the Thing.”

[triashawrites]

R.I.P Icarus. he would loved Red Bull

[triashawrites]

i’m just gonna leave this here

[triashawrites]

— Fish in Exile, Vi Khi Nao

[triashawrites]

Arcane..

Sweet love, you have deluded me.

I am a crazy woman, always loving, loving, loving.

Here lies my confession, of how you’ve invoked metaphors that have known not how to live without knowing you. I have gazed at your beauty, endlessly.

But time invites me. I must depart, before departure becomes a sin.

Love is ruinous, tormenting and cruel. I shall do without it.

Fie! How I’ve watched myself drown in the shelter of your space, know you just by looking at you.

Now I shall pack my luggage and bid you my final farewell.

But live through with your moonlit eyes, in this poem of mine. The final souvenir of our ill-fated love.

#love story #love poem #poemsworld #sad poetry #sad poem #love #sad academia #academia aesthetic #classic academia #light academia #dark academism #dark academia #existentialism #lovers #love quotes #dead poets live #poetsdaily #poetscommunity #poets of tumblr #poetry #poets on tumblr

[triashawrites]

don't ask me who i am. that i donot know. for all that matters, my presence and absence kills the fabricated world i live in, alike. it is dreary to live in your materialistic world. you decimate it with ignorant politics. much intrinsic opportunism. the cannonballs you overuse contain hatred and spite more than chemicals. oh for how do you bear to be marionettes of life, paying rent for your own existence. greed doesn't poison my brewed tea pot here. vanity doesn't cloud the bedecked skylight. we hold onto the child in us, much after we leave our own childhood behind. tragic defies itself to turn to magic instead. and if this be the tail end of a sweet dream..i long to never wake up.

[triashawrites]

—Claude Monet

[triashawrites]

father, forgive me; for I cannot verse poetry about mirthful smiles and promising lies. I have been damned right from the start- a refuge in my own land, before I could call it home. befitting solitude next to love; I who was robbed of joy, before I learnt how to smile..must be exempted from the need to write atleast one sweet song of delight when in the discourse of fate; misery has been my much sincere companion.

-paying rent for my own existence.

#dark academia #dark academism #academia #academia aesthetics #life #solitude #sad academia #pessimism #existence #existentialism #juneacademia #romantic academia