traemallari

[traemallari]

#throwback to meeting these two legends behind BTS' hit English songs: Dynamite, Butter and Permission to Dance! Did my husband force me to take a picture because I'm too shy? Yes. As ARMY, did I freak out? Yes. Did I take this as a sign that one day I will meet my bias, Jimin? Yes. Did I do the choreography in the bar when they played Butter? Yes. This is your signal to "just go for one drink and then you can leave"! Because you never know who you're going to meet. Also, can a person hit a high point and a low point at the same time? Haha jk! (But I used to dance for a living, I swear!) #dynamite #butter #permissiontodance #ptd #bts #army #whiteshoes #drmartens #writersround #thelisteningroom (at The Listening Room Cafe) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSb4b7FLJwY/?utm_medium=tumblr

#throwback #dynamite #butter #permissiontodance #ptd #bts #army #whiteshoes #drmartens #writersround #thelisteningroom

[traemallari]

Took my first real life dance class in I don't even know when! This old fart muscled through and I'm glad I broke the seal. I'm so innately shy that I always get scared to go take class. So if anyone wants to go, holla atcho girl!!! Thanks for the brain training and the body grooves @kourtney_koko_french ! @mdcnashville . #dance #dancer #class #training #mdcnashville (at Nashville, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSIoggLDqEo/?utm_medium=tumblr

#dance #dancer #class #training #mdcnashville

[traemallari]

Appreciation Post!!! . These MAGNIFICENT cookies were handmade by my friend @sarahssweetsny ! She was my fellow mermaid dress at @wicked2nt and my dear friend. The last time I saw her was in NY pre-pandemic! I messaged her about her cookies when @jonhall28 and I were making wedding plans and she did not disappoint! Not only are they beautiful and tasty, but she hand wrapped each one with care and made sure it would be in June Lake by my wedding! However, my phone barely had service up at our venue and I didn't receive the voicemail that they were waiting at the Post Office until A WEEK LATER! At least I was still able to get them, give some to family and take the rest home to Nashville! They're so beautiful I hate to eat them! But I do with my coffee because they're good! Thanks again FernandOz! We love you ☺️🥰 . . . #weddingcookies #weddibg #marriage #cookies #homemadecookies #sarahssweetsny #NYtoCA #interracialcouple #wickedthemusical #wickedtour (at Wedgewood - Houston) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRrWiVYjx4M/?utm_medium=tumblr

#weddingcookies #weddibg #marriage #cookies #homemadecookies #sarahssweetsny #nytoca #interracialcouple #wickedthemusical #wickedtour

[traemallari]

I have been awful at capturing the last few weeks on my own phone. But I think that's a sign that I was fully immersed in the experience and the love of being with my families. I'm grateful to have such a wonderful tribe. My parents drove me, Sari, and my car, Charlie, back to Nashville. . So here's a picture of me and my mommy at a coffee shop near our TN place! . My mommy, specifically, reminds me that so much strength is hidden in the quiet unnoticeable moments, especially for a woman. And that can be internalized as an unfair experience. But my mom, instead, internalizes it as a super power. And just in her knowing her own power, regardless of others recognizing it, she draws even more strength and energy. She inspires and reinspires me constantly. She always has time and energy for others. I barely have energy to get up from the bed to pee when I need to! Still learning over here! . But I've been so positively affected by my time home, so I think I'm gonna try to do a post on every family member, OG and new, that honors them and reminds me of who I am. . I love you Mommy! Thank you for being my first female superhero! . . . . . #mommy #filipina #immigrant #love #daughter #firstgen 📸 My 4eva photog @jonhall28 (at Wedgewood - Houston) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRmLOZ0jCg5/?utm_medium=tumblr

#mommy #filipina #immigrant #love #daughter #firstgen

[traemallari]

Last few days in Nashville before we make the journey back to California to get married! Life is nuts. . . . . . 📸my forever photog @jonhall28 (at Nashville, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQeN329jWJu/?utm_medium=tumblr

[traemallari]

Just felt like posting a photo. Here's an oldie using just some stage lights and my fiance @jonhall28 with my #googlepixel . Also listening to #Butter by #BTS non-stop hbu? 🧈 (at Nashville, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/CPJZitAD2Iz/?utm_medium=tumblr

#googlepixel #butter #bts

[traemallari]

This outfit, sans the Dr Marten's, are all pieces from my mom's collection. I put this outfit together when I did my BTS Dynamite dance cover and I fell in love. Honestly, I feel like this outfit IS me. If I was an anime character, I'd want to be drawn in this, thank you. . It's the weekend! That means you can find me at @virginhotelsnsh down at @commonsclubnsh being the gatekeeper of chaos! Let's party! 💥😝💃🙃🔥 . . . #virginhotels #musicsquare #nashville #commonsclub #ultimatechaos (at Nashville, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNK672ljbNz/?igshid=yt9ykgl3offs

#virginhotels #musicsquare #nashville #commonsclub #ultimatechaos

[traemallari]

Me and my forever. . . . . . . . . . #interracialcouple #inlove #engaged #scorpio #capricorn #caucasian #asian (at Nashville, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/CM36p35DWNI/?igshid=13gn0i5ogu87n

#interracialcouple #inlove #engaged #scorpio #capricorn #caucasian #asian

[traemallari]

Today has been quite Mondayne. Just the way I like it. . . . . . #googlepixel3camera #googlepixel3xl #pixel #snapseed #photoeditor #photogrid #asianamerican #filipinaamerican #american (at Nashville, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/CMvBXZFjWb5/?igshid=hw7pupu0n5kf

#googlepixel3camera #googlepixel3xl #pixel #snapseed #photoeditor #photogrid #asianamerican #filipinaamerican #american

[traemallari]

I wrote this back at the beginning of March

How strange that it is March once again. And so different and significant this time around. I never thought of March as any sort of year milestone before last year happened. Now it is the month mine, along with millions of others', lives changed.

I am so different from the Tiffany of March 2020. Although this unprecedented event was happening to the world and affecting my immediate life, I was still hopeful. I was innately hopeful. I am not an innately paranoid or pessimistic person. Although I can be a bit dark, I never put a negative spin on things. I'm realistic. But not hopeless.

The morning of March 1 I could not stop crying. I know it was a mixture of my on going battle with my pandemic depression, my exhaustion from jumping back into hosting at a restaurant for 8 hours straight, 3 days in a row, creating my dance Tiktoks by dedicating hours to learning, training, filming and editing, and being homesick.

I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of being sad. I don't know how to make myself feel better. I know all the logical reasons why I feel the way I do. I know all the logical reasons why I shouldn't lose hope completely. But that doesn't give you hope. It really doesn't. It seems like a proper equation for it, but it doesn't pan out that way. Where does hope come from?

My whole life and career and ran on hard work paired with faith. I always innately knew that something would happen. And whatever happened, it was all part of the plan and I deserved whatever it was. But I was also a hard worker and a good person, so I knew no matter what happened, I had that. My dad drove that thought process into my and my sister's heads. But now that's not enough for me. I'm working hard literally for nothing. And I don't even feel like a good person because I barely feel like a person in some moments.

I was someone who used to get so happy and giddy over the smallest things. I want her back, damnit!

I get up every day, and even when it's hard and hours go by with me not even moving an inch and getting literally stuck in a position, I am still trying. I dance. I know that helps me and it has always been part of my self identity and therapy. It's cathartic and yet at the same time still sad for me. But I guess that is just what it is right now.

I know I should do all the other things that really ground me, things I normally enjoy like journaling, yoga, reading, taking baths, all that good good self care trendy stuff that I've been doing before Instagram was even invented. But I can't seem to bring myself there, even though I crave it.

What a strange thing.

I also started a muggle job this past weekend and I haven't had to be a muggle in many years and that is probably most likely feeding the dark beast.

Le sigh.

#thoughts #journal #writing #depression #dance #dancer #pandemic #coronavirus #restaurant #mugglejob

[traemallari]

Been constantly moving since we arrived in Nashville. It's a blessing for sure, but man, my mind and body are exhausted. Re-learning how to manage time after having such a surplus of it. . Yesterday, we shot some cool content for @jonhall28 and then we got artistic with some photos for me. It is insanely satisfying creating with him. It feels good as an artist and as a partner. . Here's a shot I had fun playing with! . . . . . #googlepixel3xl #ringlight #lighting #photo #model #photographer #photography #snapseed #polish #interracialcouple #artist (at Nashville, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/CMhu8j8DKta/?igshid=1tkwq8elmzaqh

#googlepixel3xl #ringlight #lighting #photo #model #photographer #photography #snapseed #polish #interracialcouple #artist

[traemallari]

The thought of March 2021 is a rough month for everyone, I'm sure. It's now officially marking a year since our worlds have changed. . I am grateful that this March is holding more opportunity comparatively. I started a new job, then left that job for a BETTER job and my TikTok has been slowly, yet steadily garnering fans. . I told Jon the other day that I have NEVER danced solo. (Ok, ONCE I competed with one solo before I left my home dance studio, but that was once in 20 years!) I have always competed with a group and performed with a group. . Tiktok has forced me to be a solo artist. I never had the confidence to dance alone. I knew I was a good dancer and I was confident I could stand out IN A CROWD. But strangely I have never believed I could stand ON MY OWN. . Now I perform by myself, able to critique myself without self-deprecation, and able to watch myself PROUDLY. This may seem like a slow realization and that's because it is, haha! I didn't realize because I was dancing on social media for a different reason. What a beautiful side effect. . Being a content creator AND now full time at a semi-muggle job will be tiring, but I'm so ready to be tired from WORKING HARD! Last year was a long enough break! . Thanks again to everyone who supports my dance videos. I didn't start it for the views or the likes or the comments. I'm overwhelmed every single time I get any! You truly don't know how much you have held me while I was down. . May your March be filled with silver linings, grace, patience for yourself, gratitude, more laughter and a little bit of hope. https://www.instagram.com/p/CMJfKnFjrY7/?igshid=vd2j40sv3wxw

[traemallari]

BTS x Mic Drop x Ending . Another video done thru. I'm having fun completing full videos, sans the singer/rapper parts where there's no choreo. Thanks for watching, y'all! . . . . . #bts #btsarmy #btsmicdrop #steveaoki #namjoon #rm #suga #yoongi #jhope #hobi #hoseok #jimin #jm #taehyung #v #jungkook #jk (at Nashville, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/CL_A7TuDPoH/?igshid=n4d2oftwhnxi

#bts #btsarmy #btsmicdrop #steveaoki #namjoon #rm #suga #yoongi #jhope #hobi #hoseok #jimin #jm #taehyung #v #jungkook #jk

[traemallari]

BTS x Mic Drop x RM rap/Chorus . I had so much trouble with this chorus the first time around, back in January. I had no chill, haha! . I do not own the rights to this music. . . . . . #bts #btsarmy #btsmicdrop #micdrop #steveaoki #rm #namjoon #jin #seokjin #jhope #hobi #hoseok #suga #yoongi #jimin #jm #taehyung #v #jungkook #jk (at Nashville, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/CL_AH8-jhEb/?igshid=1xjmo0yroyh61

#bts #btsarmy #btsmicdrop #micdrop #steveaoki #rm #namjoon #jin #seokjin #jhope #hobi #hoseok #suga #yoongi #jimin #jm #taehyung #v #jungkook #jk

[traemallari]

BTS x Mic Drop (Steve Aoki remix) x JK dance break . Revisited this combo for two reasons... A.) My dancing is stronger and cleaner now AND I understand this musicality better since I've already done it... 2.) I wanted to keep the combos from one song altogether, heh! So...organization. . Thanks again to my camera guy for making this look way cooler! @jonhall28 💜 . I do not own the rights to this music. . . . . . #bts #btsarmy #btsmicdrop #micdrop #steveaoki #kpopdancecover #kpop #dancer #dance #cover #rm #namjoon #jin #seokjin #jhope #hobi #hoseok #suga #yoongi #jimin #jm #taehyung #v #jungkook #jk (at Nashville, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/CL7l-InjV3E/?igshid=152hd7rqy8okb

#bts #btsarmy #btsmicdrop #micdrop #steveaoki #kpopdancecover #kpop #dancer #dance #cover #rm #namjoon #jin #seokjin #jhope #hobi #hoseok #suga #yoongi #jimin #jm #taehyung #v #jungkook #jk

[traemallari]

Two months in of doing Kpop covers and training with my team. Starting to get my old swag back. Feels good. . Sweet camera moves by the man who always helps me look, feel and DO my best: @jonhall28 . BTS x Mic Drop (Steve Aoki remix) x Beginning/jHope part . I do not own the rights to this music. . . . . . #bts #btsarmy #micdrop #btsmicdrop #steveaoki #kpop #dance #cover #kpopdancecover #rm #namjoon #jin #seokjin #jhope #hobi #hoseok #suga #yoongi #jimin #jm #taehyung #v #jungkook #jk (at Nashville, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/CL7k6t4jzfv/?igshid=1r56cm2lz8c9d

#bts #btsarmy #micdrop #btsmicdrop #steveaoki #kpop #dance #cover #kpopdancecover #rm #namjoon #jin #seokjin #jhope #hobi #hoseok #suga #yoongi #jimin #jm #taehyung #v #jungkook #jk

[traemallari]

BTS x ON x MAMA version last chorus. . I do not own the rights to this music. . . . . . #bts #on #btsarmy #kpop #dancecover #dancer #asianamerican #filipinaamerican #rm #namjoon #jin #seokjin #jhope #hobi #hoseok #suga #yoongi #jimin #v #taehyung #jungkook #jk #mma #mama #melonmusicawards (at Nashville, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/CL1yV-GDAni/?igshid=16021col8fm1f

#bts #on #btsarmy #kpop #dancecover #dancer #asianamerican #filipinaamerican #rm #namjoon #jin #seokjin #jhope #hobi #hoseok #suga #yoongi #jimin #v #taehyung #jungkook #jk #mma #mama #melonmusicawards