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thekristen999 · 5 months

Text

A Light in the Darkness

Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Howie "Chimney" Han, Bobby Nash

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Team as Family, Future Fic, Alternate Universe Post-Apocalypse , Established Relationship

Notes:

I've been battling writer's block. This is all about vibes so, please just go with it. :) Not beta-read.

...

His coordination is off; fat-feeling fingers fumbling with his turn-out coat, the snaps refusing to work. Exhausted, Eddie gives up wrestling with the damn things, yanking at the bottom until all the snaps come undone like the rest of him.

The coat slips off his shoulders, his body trembling harder after losing a layer of protection. Eddie squeezes his eyes closed; blossoms of red and orange flash beneath his lids, his breath hitching in his throat. There's no feeling left in his hands; they tremble, reminding him of geriatric patients locked inside veteran's hospitals. The hem of his T-shirt is untucked; his bunker pants sag around his hips, his ripcord suspenders the only thing holding them up.

He yanks them off his shoulders, almost tripping over his own two feet as he staggers out of them, leaving his pants on the floor.

A voice tells him to pick them up, but he can't be bothered to care. His jaw chattering loudly; he's so damn cold. Eddie hugs himself, longing for warmth, rubbing his hands up and down over the clammy flesh of his forearms. The wires inside his brain must mixed-up given how damn hot it is outside. The smell of smoke still reeks in the air, filling his nostrils with ash, tickling his lungs. Black smudges stain the left side of his face; two days of rough stubble irritates his cheeks. He stumbles around his make-shift quarters, but it's difficult to see.

There's no way he can handle lighting candles, but it's okay--- he wants the darkness to consume him. The screams, so many screams, still echo inside his ears, driving him towards the bathroom.

The cold robs his muscles of strength; they're too stiff and cramped to work right. Somehow he figures out the shower, twisting the knobs all the way in one direction until steam billows from the spray. His belt buckle becomes a puzzle he can't solve, the laces of his boots an unfathomable obstacle. Biting his bottom lip, not feeling the pain of splitting it open, Eddie walks under the harsh jet of water, clothes and all. He craves burning, scalding heat---like all those roaring flames.

Water soaks his t-shirt, pools in the creases of his uniform pants, his underwear, swirling down the drain.

His body won’t stop shivering. He stuffs his hands between his armpits, sinks to his knees and rocks back and forth under the faucet. Time stops-----loses meaning.

The building explodes, the flying debris and fireball a perfect snapshot, forever scorching his retinas. The screams of all those he couldn't reach—couldn’t find—on repeat inside his head.

Tears leave warm trains over his clammy cheeks.

“Eddie? Holy shit. Hey, I found him! I found, Eddie!"

“Eds, talk to me. Shit. I need help!"

"Buck, what’s going on?"

"I don’t know, I just found him this way."

A hand, Buck's hard, cards through his hair. 'We've been looking for you for days."

Has it been that long?

"Hen, Chim. We need you over here!"

Voices all around, a jumble of tones and emotion. Then hands, prying, pulling, lifting.

"Eddie, can you tell me what’s going on?”

He looks up, squinting at his Captain’s worried expression, but his lips are too heavy to move. Someone holds him up by the shoulders while his legs buckle under his weight.

“He's freezing." That sounds like Buck, Eddie thinks despite his muddled brain.

“And you found him like this?" Bobby asks. "Inside the shower with all his clothes still on?"

"Yeah, just like this."

Buck sounds scared. Eddie hates that he’s the reason he’s upset.

“Eddie, listen to me. You’re in shock. We’ve going to remove these wet clothes and get you warm again,” Hen tells him.

A part of him wants to smile, let her know that's fine, but how can it be? When all the voices he couldn't reach say otherwise.

The building incinerates, the cries for help swallowed up by more explosions.

Blackness closes in, sucking all the heat from his body. Anxiety grows around him, the voices of his team becoming urgent.

A part of him feels like a puppet with its strings cut, his arms and legs manipulated without his permission. His clothes are peeled away, limbs flopping back in place, dead and useless.

His skin begins to tingle all over, sharp pin pricks, angry bites of a million insects. He panics at the sensation, writhes and fights----running towards the flames.

"Eddie, it’s okay."

The hands are back, soothing, rubbing, holding him. Warm breath at the nape of his neck...coarse hair that tickles his bare shoulders. Heat soaks into his weary bones and he leans against strong muscle, rests the back of his head along a collarbone.

"Cold,” he whispers.

"I’ve got you, Eddie. I always have," Buck tells him, holding him closer.

Of course he does, Buck has always been there with him through thick and thin. Always light in the darkness.

Fingers curl around his left hand, and he’d recognize Hen's firm but gentle grasp anywhere. Goose flesh spreads across his arms, but her fingers try to soothe it away, rubbing up and down his arms.

A calloused hand pushes down on his other shoulder, and he opens his eyes, not realizing they've been closed all this time. Chim sits at his right side. “Stay under the blanket and be still."

His team surrounds him, sharing heat he so desperately needs. Chim huddles closer and Eddie feels his cheeks grow pink.

“Don’t get modest on us," Chim admonishes. "You’re slipping into shock."

Eddie understands these types of survival techniques. Body heat mixes with fresh adrenalin, causing all the hair all over his body to stand on end, hyper-aware of the close proximity of everyone.

The energy of waking saps the rest of him and despite the inner-self that yells about breaching all of his private barriers, Eddie relaxes within the warm glow.

Weapon's fire becomes a muted, fuzzy memory....one to be locked away with all the other bad stuff that if he allowed himself to dwell on, would drown him in the blackness of it all.

“You know there was nothing you could have done, right?” Buck whispers in his ear, soft and gentle. He thought he’d been sending everyone toward shelter. That was his job. To search for survivors in an all-consuming wasteland.

Eddie had guided them all toward shelter, telling them it was safe. Except it wasn’t. An explosion occurred----then nothing. It’s his fault, it’s his---

A hand squeezes his shoulder. “Don't,” Chim breathes.

Hen buries her head in his side. He can feel her eyelashes open and close against his skin. “It was an accident, Edmundo."

Eddie can still hear the screams. He rubs his thumb over her knuckles.

"You would have died if you had gone in,” Bobby’s voice rumbles off to the side where he stands guard over them.

It was his Captain who had kept Eddie from running toward the shrieks of death---yanking on his coat, the others wrestling him to the ground without a word.

"They’ll be others who need to be saved," Chim says, taking Eddie's other hand, squeezing. "And we need to be ready."

Buck holds Eddie tighter, chin resting in the crook on his neck, pressing a soft kiss to his ear. "I'll be by your side. Like always."

Maybe they’re right.

But that hadn't kept Eddie from going back out there, searching, hoping that maybe, there’d been one person left, one person out there wandering...

Eddie closes his eyes fighting against what-if’s, allowing his body to melt against Buck, basking in the protection of his team. Of his family.

"Okay,” he whispers. Knowing tomorrow, they'll all go out there again.

Maybe this will kick-start the Muse.

AO3 Link

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 on abc #future fic #all vibes #hurt comfort #alternate universe #kristen999 writes

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lonely-writer · 2 years

Note

“i’ve been worried sick! where the hell were you!?” with buck/reader pls <3

Of course bby!

Title: First Impressions

Pairing: Evan "Buck" Buckley/GN!Reader

Tags: Meeting the parents, slight angst, swearing, anxiety, dinner dates, gender neutral reader, dinner dates gone wrong, unsupportive parents, reader needs a hug, Buck being a sweetheart

Warnings: One count 'em one swear word, talk of anxiety, unsupportive parents

Drumming your fingers against the table for what feels like the thirtieth time you check your phone and sigh at the time, he's late….again. You know you really shouldn't be anxious by this, Buck's a firefighter after all so he's often busier than most other people you've dated, but due to his occupation you can't help but fear for the worst every single time he's late for something important like this. He's supposed to be meeting your parents after all and they're already less than impressed with his tardiness. Hell, they haven't been happy with anything regarding him from the moment you decided to tell your parents the two of you were dating. 'A firefighter? Why didn't you date that nice boy from law school?' Your mother had asked, 'A firefighter isn't a good match for you, he'll always be out in the public eye getting attention from other women- he'll cheat on you in an instant and then you'll be heartbroken again dear!' Your father had pointed out, but it wasn't like that. Buck never paid attention to any other women when he was on shift- and he got plenty of attention from them. They're just trying to make you afraid that he's out with some random woman right now.

You're certain that he's just running late, that time got away from him and he'll walk through the restaurant doors any moment now, but another moment passes by and you begin to wonder if somethings happened at work. Had there been an earthquake? No, your phone would've been blowing up with news stories and you're certain that you would've felt it so you decide that it wasn't an earthquake….maybe it was a last minute call that was taking longer than expected. Buck is fine. He's just…busy. A little heads up would be nice so that you could calm down but it's okay because he's probably just busy. Occupational hazards be damned, Buck is a fantastic firefighter so you're sure everything is okay and that the 118 are just caught up in a call- not in a this is a very dangerous situation we're in kind of call but more of a this is taking longer than we expected type of call…except those two calls usually went hand in hand with one another. Would it be bad to call him? Probably. If he's still at work you don't want to bother him…but your growing anxiety won't be settled;ed until you've texted him at the very least.

Message From: Sweetheart.

Hey babe! Just wanted to make sure everything's alright and we're still on for tonight? Love you!

Sending…sending…sending.

The fact that your message refuses to send makes your anxiety worse. A cell tower must be down, or maybe you're just in an area with bad signal? Maybe he's in an area with bad signal. There has to be some kind of explanation as to why your messages aren't sending, hesitantly you put your phone down and smile tightly at your parents and they return said smile. "So…is your date going to be joining us any time soon or will we be here for another half hour waiting?" Your mother asks, she's the one whose been the least supportive of your relationship so it's no wonder she's taking the moment to point out her distaste for your boyfriend's tardiness. You force yourself not to point out that the only one to show up on time to the restaurant had been yourself.

"He's just running a little late mom, he's going to be here soon." You promise, though whether you're trying to convince her or yourself is another conversation entirely. Your father scoffs beside her and you swallow a lump in your throat- no- there's no reason to pick a fight with them, he's going to show up, he's just running late, he loves you, he's coming.

"Are you sure he's even going to show up? What if…what if he's just not as interested as you thought he was?" Your father asks and it's enough to break the camel's back.

"Okay, that's it. We're done here. I have done everything you two have ever wanted! I went to law school, I had the best grades, I never drank, I never smoked, I never had a boyfriend, I never partied! I never got to live my life the way I wanted to because I was so busy living up to all of your unreal expectations! Buck lets me do what I want! He doesn't yell at me if I'm late, he doesn't berate me because I don't want to be a lawyer, he gives me compliments and tells me he loves me and he's proud of me!" You yell grabbing the entire restaurants attention, people have stopped what they're doing to turn your way and listen to the ongoing argument.

"Stop it! This isn't the time or the place!" Your mother hisses in embarrassment but you don't care, you've spent all of your life doing exactly what they wanted when they wanted it and now it's been enough. You're done living your life according to them.

"There's never a right place or time with you, I'm never allowed to speak my mind and I can't take it anymore! And you know what? I don't need to hear anymore bullshit from the two of you regarding Buck and my choices, you two don't run my life anymore and until then, we're done talking." You state with an air of finality. Before either of them can respond you stand up from the table and move to the exit, bumping straight into someone's chest, you move to apologize until realizing that it's Buck dressed in a lovely suit holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

Immediately any and all anger leaves you, replaced with worry as to where he has been. "Hey! I'm so sorry I'm late but I got you-!" He begins to explain with that charming smile across his face before you suddenly pull him into a hug, relief flooding through you, nothing that happened with your parents matters anymore.

"I've been worried sick! Where the hell were you?!" You ask lightly punching his arm.

"Ow! Geez I said I was sorry, I got stuck in traffic on the way here. I would've texted you but my phone died while I was at work…is everything okay?" He asks in concern, you can't help but smile and nod.

"Yeah, yeah everything great now." You answer matching his smile from earlier.

"Oh, good! Well then I'm ready to meet your par-" He begins before you take him by the arm and begin leading him out of the restaurant, "Wait where are we going? I thought we were having dinner with your parents?" Buck asks in confusion with a small frown as the two of you walk out of the restaurant.

"We were but…they didn't show up, so I think pizza at your place sounds so much better."

#my writing #my fic #fanfic #angst #911 #evan buck buckely #reader #Evan buck Buckley x reader #lonely answers asks #lonely writes #first impressions

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andavs · 1 year

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ah, "saddest angel baby or secret hardened navy seal" THANK YOU. i needed that laugh. i'm mostly a fandom lurker so it's extremely gratifying to see someone give voice to what i've been wondering about for a while now. like, where do these fanons come from? how are they in nearly every fandom ever?

I don't even know, man, but people in the Teen Wolf fandom used to do it with Stiles too. I can't tell you how many fics I saw where everyone treats him horribly so he leaves town and comes back a few years later to save the day as a surprise badass.

It's the same as all the post-lawsuit fics where Buck takes off and shows up later on some super elite firefighting/SEAL team to save the 118, who watch in awe and fall over themselves to apologize and beg him to come back.

Buck is a great character who's fun and sweet and charming and who can also be a dumbass sometimes! He can be a little self-centered and sometimes he messes up, and it's not being mean for the people who love him to point out when he's caught up in his own shit. He does it for them too, like telling Eddie to stop stringing Ana along, because they all love and care about each other.

At this point, I automatically filter out the "Evan Buckley needs a hug" tag because for every fic where Buck’s strong emotional reactions, life trauma, and tendency to view himself as the problem in any situation skews his judgment and makes him spiral for a bit before the people in his life who love him help him see things clearer...

...there's like five fics where poor baby Buck is horribly dismissed and ignored by everyone through no fault of his own until he breaks down and cries in big strong Eddie’s arms, and then Eddie lectures the team for being so mean to Buck by not constantly and obsessively monitoring his emotional/physical wellbeing like a child.

And you never know which one you’re going to get.

#i also filter out the navy seal tag too because he was not in the fucking seals #he didn't train with the seals and then quit #that's not how the military works #anyway #it's especially confusing with stiles because he's such an asshole!#i love him and he's my favorite character but he's A Dick #and people have him like packing school lunches for people who treat him like dirt for no reason #'pack mom stiles' my beloathed

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littlespoonevan · 1 year

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one line, any fic

thank you so much to @mellaithwen and @homerforsure for tagging me!! 💛💛💛💛

Rules: Pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the midpoint, pick a line (or a few), and share it! Then tag 10 people

(initially i was gonna just go back chronologically but then i sort of veered off into posting my favourites so here’s a mishmash of both askjdh)

i will admit it (if you admit it)

Eddie sighs, rubbing his hands over his face before fixing Buck with a pleading look. “I don’t know. I’m still- Buck, I’m still really fucking angry at you-“

“I know,” Buck cuts in before he can say anymore. He doesn’t need to hear it, doesn’t want to. “I know,” he repeats, stepping forward and cradling Eddie’s face between his hands. Eddie doesn’t brush him off; he only stares up at Buck like he’s begging him to offer up a solution to fix all of this.

Take What You Need, Darling

“How nice,” Margaret smiles – though it looks more like a grimace. “If you’re sure, Evan…”

“I’m sure,” Buck insists. “My place. Tomorrow night.”

Eddie mouths a silent thank you when the Buckleys’ backs are turned, biting down on a smile when Buck winks at him.

if you love me, wake me

“I’m really tired,” Eddie admits, half on a laugh as he casts a sidelong glance at Buck.

“I’ll get your meds and help you get ready for bed,” he starts, already making to get up again but Eddie puts a hand on his arm to stop him.

“In a minute,” he mumbles, head dropping down until it’s resting on Buck’s shoulder.

It makes Buck freeze before he forces himself to relax, resisting the urge to rest his cheek against Eddie’s hair.

Look How They Align

“Why? What’s different now?”

Eddie searches his expression, something unreadable in his eyes, and eventually, he smiles. “Moving here, meeting all of you, hanging out with you and Sophie- I’ve got…support here. I don’t feel so alone anymore, y’know?”

Buck knows. Buck knows so deeply that for an insane moment he considers doing something monumentally stupid like taking Eddie’s hand and just- holding it while he tells him he never has to be alone ever again.

i'm someone you maybe might love

The rest of her question gets cut off by a quiet, disbelieving, “Eddie?” and she and Eddie turn just in time for Buck to slam straight into Eddie.

Eddie takes a step back with the force of it but his arms come up around Buck immediately, hugging back just as fiercely. She catches sight of his blinding smile before he tucks his face into Buck’s shoulder and Lucy stares, can’t help it when they’re hugging like long-lost lovers being reunited.

Close Enough for Comfort

“Hey,” he replies quietly. And all he does is lift a hand but Buck takes it for the invitation he knows it is. He sinks down onto the couch and burrows himself under Eddie’s arm, pillowing his head on the spot where Eddie’s ribcage gives way to the softness of his stomach. Eddie’s arm settles over him, a grounding weight that finally pulls Buck back to reality.

“How are you feeling?” Eddie asks, voice hushed and undemanding.

“I’m fine,” he replies, muffling the words in Eddie’s hoodie.

Say Anything...As Long As It's I Love You

Buck shrugs, a faraway sort of look on his face. “Do you remember the old couple we were called to a couple of years ago? The guy’s husband died and when we left them alone together so he could say goodbye he passed away too?”

Eddie does remember. He also remembers how hard the call had hit Buck. He nods, waiting for Buck to continue.

“Well, before Thomas died I was talking to him and he said you don’t find a love like that. You make it.” Buck looks down at his hands, mouth curving up just slightly. “So it’s not like- I don’t think fate is what keeps people together or anything. But I think it knows a thing or two about ‘right place, right time’, y’know?”

a touch of someone else (to save me from myself)

“I’m okay with blurring the lines like this sometimes,” he murmurs. “If it helps.”

Buck cranes his neck to meet his gaze and they’re so close it would take nothing at all for Eddie to close the distance and bring their mouths together. For all that Buck’s flirted, for all that Eddie’s indulged him in his own way, this is first time he’s actively thought about it. The first time he’s pictured kissing Buck in his head and wants.

nobody knows you, baby, the way i do

“Uh okay,” Ravi says, looking uncertainly at the flashcards in his hands that they’d appropriated from Hen’s stash. “Why are we doing this again?”

“Because me and Eddie are obviously better best friends than Hen and Chim,” Buck says and Ravi’s frown deepens.

“But I thought you and Eddie were-“

“Just get on with the questions, Probie,” Chimney interrupts.

Buy Back the Secrets

“Hey come on, you didn’t even make it a week hating me,” Eddie quips. “You’re physically incapable of being impolite for that long.”

“Or maybe you were just too fucking likeable,” Buck grumbles, making Eddie’s grin widen.

And it’s weird because Buck doesn’t know Eddie – or, well, he does but this version of him doesn’t – and yet he just feels…comfortable. Sure in Eddie’s presence in a way he doesn’t expect. There’s obviously a barrier between them, something clearly unspoken in the way Eddie knows everything about their relationship and Buck knows nothing, but it’s nice and it’s easy.

i wasn’t here yesterday so apologies if i double tag anyone but if you haven’t done it yet and would like to i’m tagging @buckactuallys @hmslusitania @evanbucxley @capseycartwright @finduilasclln @hattalove 🌷

#meme thing #scrolling to the midpoint of each of these fics was fascinating actually lmao #long post

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snarkythewoecrow · 1 year

Text

in it for keeps, always

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)

Characters: Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley

Word count: 3,850

Additional Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Suicide Attempt, Worried Eddie Diaz, Mental Health Issues, Buck goes through bouts of depression, but this is more about Eddie and his fears of losing Buck, Established Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Eddie Diaz Needs a Hug (9-1-1 TV), Angst, Miscommunication, minor argument, Evan "Buck" Buckley Has Mental Health Issues, But he's actually handling them well, Comforting Evan "Buck" Buckley, Reassurances, Insecurity

Read on AO3

@buckybeardreams @eddiediazandhiszipties @leewithme

Summary:

“You good?” he asked, and he didn’t need a mirror to know his brows were definitely forming the Worried Eddie Look, as Buck liked to call it.

“Yeah,” Buck said, then coughed again, wincing and holding his stomach before a visible shiver rocked his shoulders. “Damn, never gets easier.”

And seeming to read his confusion, Buck smiled and shrugged, then said as casually as ever, “It’s nothing really, just took too many once upon a time, you know? One of those big Costco-size bottles—or half of one, I guess—haven’t been able to really stomach them since.”

A chill ran through him, his blood crystallizing, the cold numbing him.

If he had any color in his face, it was gone now. He and a ghost had more in common than complexion, as suddenly he didn’t feel very alive. The mental image of Buck swallowing a bottle of pills had him feeling no better than a hollowed-out husk of whom he used to be moments ago.

—or—

A casual comment from Buck sends Eddie spiraling. Cue the drama and angst, then finally comfort.

#tw: suicide #buddie fanfiction #buddie fic #buddie fanfic #buddie #buck x eddie fic #buck x eddie #911 fic #snark writes #hurt/comfort #angst

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evanbuckleyrecs · 6 months

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cut me slack (I've watched your heart stop)

Written by kat_atthewisco

Words: 5,441

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Relationship: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)

Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Firehouse 118 Crew (9-1-1 TV), Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Carla Price

Additional Tags: Major Character Injury, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley Whump, Stressed Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Eddie Diaz Needs a Hug (9-1-1 TV), Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Eddie Diaz is Evan Buckley's emergency contact, We all know itso why won't the writers give us emergency contact content, anyway, Medical Inaccuracies, Hospitals, tiny bit of emotional hurt/comfort, buck just needs some help understanding that he! is worth! being helped!

Summary:

“Well, unfortunately I am calling you specifically for your role as Mr. Buckley’s power of attorney. He does need a couple of decisions made about his care that he’s not fit for at the moment. If you’re able to get here soon that would be best, I can’t tell you much over the phone.” To her credit, Deirdre does sound apologetic, and Eddie’s panic has begun to ratchet back up. “I’ll be there as fast as I can, is he- please, how bad?” Eddie repeats. In which Eddie gets The Call from Cedars-Sinai while he's off work thanks to a healing injury. Being Buck's emergency contact is suddenly a very real thing.

#911 #buddie #911 on abc #buddie fanfic rec #buddie fanfiction #rated g #getting together #hurt/comfort #hurt evan buckley #evan buckley whump #hospitals #major character injury #eddie diaz needs a hug #stressed eddie diaz #5 10k

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redtapesworstnightmare · 6 months

Text

cut me slack (i've watched your heart stop)

In which Eddie gets The Call from Cedars-Sinai while he's off work thanks to a healing injury. Being Buck's emergency contact is suddenly a very real thing.

read on ao3 | word count: 5,441

tags: Major Character Injury, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley Whump, Stressed Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Eddie Diaz Needs a Hug (9-1-1 TV)Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Eddie Diaz is Evan Buckley's emergency contact, We all know it, so why won't the writers give us emergency contact content, anyway, Medical Inaccuracies, Hospitals, tiny bit of emotional hurt/comfort, buck just needs some help understanding that he! is worth! being helped!

When Eddie’s cell phone rings on the coffee table, he almost doesn’t answer it. He’s honestly not sure he has the mental capacity to be civil to someone trying to check on his well-being after spending the last half hour fighting his dryer, which he swears has it out for him. He’s aware that it was probably a stupid thing to be doing with a very freshly healed wrist fracture, but he’s going out of his mind being stuck at home and knowing he’s still got another couple weeks minimum off work.

He misses his team.

Maybe that’s what drives him to glance over at his cell and see the caller ID: Cedars Sinai Hospital. The location directly underneath indicates the caller is in Los Angeles, which is a fact Eddie knows very well. He’s been there too many times for too many terrible reasons.

Seems he’s about to be there again.

“This is Eddie Diaz,” he answers, already half-breathless. He can feel the beginnings of that same feeling he’d had in the suit shop, those tendrils grabbing at every corner of his chest and pulling it in on itself, but, in a move that would make Frank proud, Eddie validates his own panic and breathes through it.

“Mr. Diaz, my name is Deirdre, I’m an RN at Cedars-Sinai. Could you verify your date of birth for me?” Eddie blinks, nearly forgetting his own birthday.

“I- uh, 5-17-89,” he stutters out, absently realizing that being forced to recall the date has oddly helped to settle his panic for the moment. “Can you tell me what this is about?”

“Thanks so much, Mr. Diaz,” Deirdre says. “I’m calling on behalf of Evan Buckley, you are listed as the primary for… let’s see, pretty much every form of contact on here, actually, for an Evan Buckley, this something you were aware of?”

“I- yes, yeah, we’re each other’s- how bad is it?” Eddie doesn’t finish a single thought but Deirdre doesn’t even miss a beat.

“I’ll be there as fast as I can, is he- please, how bad?” Eddie repeats.

“Let me put it this way–we took the time to get a POA here instead of just following full emergency protocol. He needs a lot of help, but he has time for someone close to him to weigh the options and make the decision he would want.” Somehow, that doesn’t make Eddie feel much better at all. “Listen, there’s a note here that you’re a firefighter,” Eddie’s heart aches, he was so close to having Buck’s back again, “so you and I both know I can make no promises. But he’s holding steady and in great hands until you get here.”

By the time Eddie has let Carla know she needs to keep Chris overnight or drop him off with Pepa (a very rushed affair, and Eddie is honestly not sure Carla had even finished processing his words by the time he was hanging up) and gotten himself and his truck in one piece to Cedars-Sinai, it’s been no more than half an hour and yet an entire lifetime since Deirdre first called. He charges in the front doors and past the front desk to the first nurse’s station he spots with an unerring path, so clearly familiar with the space that neither receptionist stops him. By some stroke of luck, a nurse with a nametag that says Deirdre with a big blue RN tag hanging below it is standing at a computer on a rolling table just to the side of the station, and Eddie walks right up to her.

“My name is Eddie, I think we spoke earlier,” he says, cringing at the slight wobble in his voice. Deirdre’s already kind face splits into a smile.

“We did indeed,” she answers kindly. She’s got a soft Southern accent that didn’t really register on the phone and it catches Eddie off-guard in a hospital in the heart of Los Angeles. “I didn’t see you check in or I would’ve had Mr. Buckley’s chart up.” Eddie winces.

“I, uh-” he clears his throat. “I apologize, ma’am, I’m here a lot and I kind of just charged on back,” he says, and Deirdre’s smile turns amused.

“You firefighters, you’re all the same,” she teases as she taps around on her computer. “Alright, you’re all checked in, I’ll swing by to grab you a visitor’s badge after I get you up to speed and get things rolling with Mr. Buckley.” Eddie nods, realizing he’s fallen into parade rest in front of Deirdre’s little mobile station. It’s something he rarely does anymore–something he really only falls back to in uncertain moments.

“Alright, first things first…”

Eddie’s ass is numb.

Buck had gone into surgery almost two hours prior, and Eddie’s had enough time to sort through all of the frantic texts and voicemails from his team that he’d missed–while wrestling the stupid fucking dryer, which he’s never going to stop being angry about–and update Carla, who promised to explain things to Christopher.

Even two hours later, Eddie’s head is still swimming from the sheer amount of paperwork he’d signed, which had taken nearly the first forty-five minutes after Buck had been wheeled off. Eddie’d had to consent to about four different surgical plans and a backup for each, and he still can’t decide whether his medical knowledge was a blessing or a curse for his conversations with Deirdre and Buck’s doctors as they ran through Buck’s injuries and how they wanted to fix them.

The story from the medical team was purely clinical, just the run-down of the torn ligaments in Buck’s elbow and shoulder, severe burns on his neck, and “somewhere between moderate and severe” concussion–not to mention the general internal bruising to a not-insignificant portion of his organs and the swelling along his spinal cord that would likely lead to temporary paralysis but should subside on its own before Buck leaves the hospital. The story that Eddie got once he got a hold of Bobby was worse, so much worse, and his words are still on repeat in Eddie’s brain.

“Bobby, you’ve gotta tell me what happened,” Eddie finally pleads after five minutes of Bobby attempting to placate him without a direct answer about how Buck had gotten so injured. There’s a pause, and then Bobby finally releases a long, pained breath.

“It was a house fire. We were on the second floor, and we just kept uncovering more code violations every time we walked into a room to clear it.” Eddie winces; he’s seen his fair share of those, and it never gets easier to see a situation so preventable become so deadly. “A patch of the floor couldn’t hold the weight of Buck plus his turnouts, and it gave out right underneath him.”

“I’m guessing the elbow and shoulder injuries are from trying to catch himself?” Eddie realizes, knowing damn well that, for all of Buck’s clumsiness, the man’s reflexes on the job are impeccable. Bobby makes a noise of agreement.

“I swear I heard at least two different things snap by the time he finally lost his grip, and then- God, the sound when he hit the ground…” Bobby trails off, another shaky breath escaping. “He landed flat out on his back all the way in the basement and lost his helmet somewhere on the way down.”

Eddie feels like he can’t breathe.

“I’m not even sure how the burn on his neck got there–we finally got him out and it was just there. He must’ve hit something on his way down.”

Buck had stirred once while Eddie was working through the plan with his doctors, letting out a groan and turning his head a little towards the sound of Eddie’s voice as if even while unconscious he could feel Eddie’s stress. Eddie had just tightened his grip on Buck’s hand and brushed the curls off his forehead with the other, murmuring softly. Buck had settled quickly, and Deirdre had had a very soft look on her face when he’d turned his attention back to the task at hand.

At about hour three, Maddie finally arrives, murmuring hushed apologies about shift work and childcare that Eddie waves away. She pulls him into a hug, and the sisterly affection is grounding in a way he hadn’t been expecting.

“How is he?” she asks him as she settles in the chair next to him. Eddie’s not sure how much she knows, and he thinks for a moment, wondering how much to let on without her asking.

“I- well, not great,” Eddie finally settles on, wincing as it comes out. “He’s in for a long surgery, but his doctors were using way more when than if, you know?” He knows Maddie will catch his drift, nurse-turned-dispatcher brain intimately familiar with the language of medical professionals. She nods immediately, relief clear on her face even through the obvious worry. “His injuries are pretty extensive, but the surgical plan is thorough as hell.” Maddie snorts, knowing smile on her face.

“Isn’t being his power of attorney fun?” she asks teasingly. “He’s never been one for simple medical care.” Eddie chuckles, running a hand through his hair.

“God, isn’t that the truth,” he says. “Nothing else I’d rather do, though. I like knowing what’s going on with him, y’know? Especially after-” he cuts himself off. Maddie still understands immediately.

“Especially after he went and died?” she says, and it catches Eddie a little off-guard.

“I- well, yeah,” Eddie says. “And I know you probably want to know just as much, you went through it too-”

“But I only knew the aftermath,” Maddie says gently. “By the time I knew he’d died, I had a heart monitor to watch for reassurance. You-” Maddie pauses. “You had to sit through not knowing if there was gonna be a heartbeat to watch again.” Eddie releases a long, shaky breath.

“It was- it was so bad,” he admits, surprising himself. “I’ve been through hell but it honestly does not compare to those three minutes and seventeen seconds without him.” Maddie’s got a calculating look on her face, and then it lifts into a soft smile.

“You love my brother the way he deserves to be loved,” Maddie says. Eddie’s heart jolts.

He- he does love Buck, he supposes, if he thinks too hard about it. Which is why he doesn’t, probably, because he had vowed never to think of a friend like that again ever since he and Trent had kissed in the seventh grade–and then Trent had promptly ended the best friendship Eddie had ever had.

(Trent is out and proud now, which Eddie only knows because the guy had reached out over Facebook to apologize–and ask to meet for drinks.

Eddie thinks he might’ve given the guy a chance if he hadn’t had Buck in his life.)

“I don’t know if it’ll ever be as much as he deserves,” Eddie finally says, “but I do know he’s the best thing that ever happened to me and Chris.”

“Honey, I apologize, I just realized I forgot to pass along the message from your crew,” Deirdre says, popping her head into Buck’s still-empty hospital room just as it’s going on hour five of surgery. Maddie had left, needing to go look after Jee-Yun but demanding any updates and swearing she’d be back within a couple hours. “They wanted me to make sure you knew they’d be here as soon as they could, but your captain was having trouble getting things covered.” Eddie nods.

“Don’t worry, Bobby let me know over the phone,” he assures Deirdre. Bobby had apologized profusely even as Eddie had tried to reassure the man that it was okay, there wasn’t much to be done at the hospital anyway.

“Oh, good,” she says. “It sounded like they were running with a skeleton crew even before your boy landed himself here, and LA has just gone wild today. My ER’s been busier’n a stump-tailed bull during fly season.” Eddie has to huff a laugh at that, exhausted as he is. The remnants of an accent and the phrases that can only come from life as a Southerner flowing from Deirdre’s mouth are making Eddie feel at home–he’s pretty sure his own long-forgotten Southern twang has crept back in on some of his words in a way it hadn’t since his early Army days. “Well, I’ll be back around soon enough–your captain said they should be here around now, barring the overtime he was already desperately trying to avoid judging by the phone call he was on as he walked outta here.” Deirdre’s gone again just as quickly as she’d appeared.

Eddie’s phone rings almost immediately.

“God, what-” he starts to groan, until he picks it up and sees that the caller ID says Carla. Shit, he’d promised to call at some point so he could update her and talk to Christopher. It’s a FaceTime, so Eddie tries to make his hair look less insane before giving up and just accepting the call.

“Carla, hey, I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t even think about it,” she interrupts, “you had bigger things to worry about. How’s our boy?” Eddie sighs, letting Carla’s calm voice soothe him.

“Well, he’s been in surgery for five hours now,” Eddie says, “but the prognosis was good. I’m guessing they ran into some complications. I’d be surprised if they hadn’t, and that’s probably why it’s taking so long, but so far I’m taking no news as good news.”

“That’s usually how it goes,” Carla agrees. “What do you want to tell Chris?” And that’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? The last time Buck was hospitalized, he hadn’t even been able to breathe for himself. “Eddie?” Carla prompts. Eddie sighs.

“God, I don’t even–what do you think I should tell him?” he asks, scrubbing a hand down his face.

“The truth,” Carla says simply. “He knows the reality of yours and Buck’s job, has for a while. He already knows something is up.”

“Can you put him on?” Eddie asks. He decides he should probably just get it over with–and, selfishly, he really just wants to see his son. Carla smiles knowingly and calls for Chris, who appears remarkably quickly.

“Dad! What’s going on, why couldn’t you come get me?” Chris demands immediately.

“Hey, buddy, I’m really sorry,” Eddie says. As soon as he speaks, he knows Chris can tell something is wrong. A poorly-timed announcement on the PA system calling for a rapid response somewhere on the other side of the floor Eddie’s goes off just then, and the realization cements on Christopher’s face.

“Dad, why are you in a hospital? Are you okay? Is Buck?”

“I’m all good, buddy, but Buck got really hurt at work today and they needed me here to make some decisions for him.” Eddie isn’t sure how much more of what happened he can keep kid-friendly, and he braces himself for the questions Chris is bound to ask.

“What happened, is he gonna be okay?”

“From what Bobby told me, he got pretty hurt because of a fall,” Eddie says, hoping it’s not so vague that it prompts more questioning. “His medical team here is really good, and they think he’s gonna be just fine.”

“He’s Buck,” Christopher says, tone the same one from the day before when he’d said Da-ad, everyone knows Apollo 13 is the one that blew up. You’re thinking of Apollo 11 during a heated discussion about the moon landing. Eddie has to smile.

“Yeah, mijo, and Buck’s pretty tough, isn’t he?”

“The toughest,” Chris agrees. “You’re gonna stay with him, right? Can I come?”

“Not yet, kiddo, he’s still in surgery and he won’t wake up for a while afterwards, either,” Eddie says. “I’ll stay with him the whole time, though, promise. If I have to leave there will be someone else here until I’m back. I’ll make sure he knows you said hi, okay?”

“And tell him I’ll be there as soon as you let me,” Chris adds, making Eddie chuckle.

“I’ll tell him that, too,” he says. “I’m sorry I’m missing dinner with you, kid.”

“That’s okay, you should be with Buck,” Chris says decisively. God, how did Eddie get the best kid? Eddie’s about to ask to be handed back to Carla, but Deirdre pops in with a smile on her face that Eddie recognizes from all the times he’s waited to see Buck in a hospital.

“Hey, I gotta go, okay? I love you so much, be good for Carla.”

“Love you, too,” Chris chirps. “And tell Buck I love him.” Eddie can’t help but grin.

“I will, kiddo.” They hang up and Eddie looks up at Deirdre expectantly, making her chuckle.

“Your partner’s in recovery, they’re monitoring him for just a little while longer and then he’ll be back down here. I also just saw some familiar names on the check-in log, so I think you’ll have some company soon.” Eddie smiles and checks his watch–they’re right on time. Bobby must have worked some magic to get the crew off shift with no overtime.

If Eddie thought Bobby had sounded exhausted and frazzled over the phone, it’s nothing compared to seeing him in person. The bags under his eyes could probably count as a personal item on an airplane, his shirt buttons are misaligned, and his hair is sticking up in ways Eddie didn’t realize Bobby’s hair was even long enough for. The rest of the team doesn’t look much better, honestly, and Eddie has the urge to go ask a nurse for several cots.

“You look terrible,” is, inexplicably, the first thing out of Bobby’s mouth. Eddie has to fight down a nearly hysterical giggle.

”Me?” he demands instead. “Bobby, when’s the last time you looked in a mirror?” Hen snorts. Bobby doesn’t even try to fake offense, scrubbing a hand down his face as Eddie stands to pull him into a hug.

“He’s gonna be fine, Bobby,” Eddie whispers. “He’s on his way back in now, and everything’s been holding steady.” Bobby doesn’t fully relax, but by the time the two of them separate some of the tension has fallen away.

Hen follows with another tight hug, and Chimney pulls Eddie in for a brief but tight squeeze accompanied by a firm clap on the shoulder that Eddie reciprocates. Deirdre, bless her, had placed enough chairs for everyone in Buck’s room, and so as Eddie sits back down, Hen, Chimney, and Bobby settle in for the wait. Maddie arrives merely moments later, Jee-Yun settled with the Lees for the night, and goes right to Chimney’s side, tsking at the state he’s in from his shift. Athena’s with her, similarly discontent with the condition Bobby’s in.

It’s only ten more minutes before they hear the distinct sound of hospital bed wheels just before Deirdre’s smiling face appears in the doorway.

“Y’all got one more comin’ in,” she says, and Eddie’s entire body tenses. He’s not sure why, he’d seen Buck before surgery still covered in grime and blood. The sight awaiting him is sure to be so much better.

He’s still stressed about it.

“Eddie, you wanna meet me out here to talk details once he’s settled or should we stick in here?” Deirdre asks.

“Here’s fine,” Eddie says almost too quickly, and Deirdre nods and steps fully inside. The head of a hospital bed appears in the doorway behind her and she reaches out to help guide it in, two orderlies and another nurse stepping in when the foot of the bed makes it through. Watching them snap everything in place and switch lines and leads from portable monitors to the full-size versions is mesmerizing. It’s like watching a choreographed dance, and even though Eddie’s wound so tightly he thinks a tendon might snap, he’s really impressed by the whole thing.

“Eddie,” Hen whispers from beside him, “breathe, would you?” As Eddie looks over at her, he realizes how much air he’s been holding in his lungs. He lets it out slowly as she watches expectantly, and she pats his leg appreciatively as he looks back over at Buck.

Buck, who looks both better and worse than the last time Eddie saw him nearly six hours prior. The blood and dirt have been washed away, cuts sutured and bandaged. He’s wearing a proper sling now, one that has a cushion to prop the arm up a little and attaches around the torso in addition to the usual over-the-shoulder strap. Eddie knows Buck’s going to hate it, but he also knows a regular sling absolutely would not keep Buck stationary enough to actually heal.

The problem is, without the layer of blood and grime on Buck’s skin, Eddie can see just how sallow his face is. He’s so pale he’s nearly gone white, but there’s such a significant amount of bruising that a lot of him just looks gray. Eddie closes his eyes, breathes for a moment–it’s a gesture he never would’ve allowed himself around others a few months ago, but he supposes that’s what all the therapy is for.

“What do we need to know?” Eddie finally finds his voice to ask as he reaches to take Buck’s hand, deciding he’s earned that small comfort. Deirdre smiles softly.

“I’ve got some more paperwork so you don’t lose your mind trying to remember all this, but here goes,” she starts.

In the end, Buck wakes up exactly seven seconds after Eddie decides that if Buck doesn’t wake up in the next twenty minutes, he’ll call Bobby to sit with him so he can go home and give Chris a hug and an update. Buck has been out of surgery for going on 72 hours and while Eddie’s seen Chris when Carla brought some clothes and a snack, he has yet to actually leave the hospital since Deirdre called him. He’s sliding his phone out of his pocket to set a twenty-minute timer when Buck’s hand tightens around his, and he’s standing immediately, sending his phone skittering across the floor.

“Buck? Buck, Ev, can you hear me?” Eddie asks. He’s trying not to sound too panicked, not wanting Buck to pick up on it and worry when all he needs to focus on is opening his eyes, but it’s hard. All Eddie can feel is the way his heart seems like it’s hammering against his ribcage and his skin feels just a little too tight.

As soon as Buck opens his eyes, Eddie feels at home in his body again.

”Hey, there you are,” he breathes. A ghost of a smile passes over Buck’s face, and with the color that’s come back to his face he looks almost okay. The bruising is still there, but Eddie knows that beggars can’t be choosers. “I’m gonna get Deirdre in here, how do you feel?” Without letting go of Buck’s hand, Eddie smacks the call button and then reaches for the water that’s been living on Buck’s bedside table, getting dumped and re-filled every so often since Buck got back from surgery.

“Ca- can’t feel…” Buck’s voice isn’t more than a whisper, and even after drinking some water it gives out before he can clarify exactly what he can’t feel. He lets go of Eddie’s hand to gesture instead, letting his own hand flop around on his left leg before reaching back for Eddie.

“Can’t feel your legs?” Eddie asks, praying that’s all he can’t feel. That had been the doctors’ prediction, and if it were more than that Eddie’s not sure what it would mean. Thankfully, though, Buck nods. Eddie sighs, oddly relieved. “That’s what they expected. The way you landed caused some swelling around your spinal cord, doctors warned us there could be some temporary paralysis.”

Buck’s face drops a mile, and Eddie’s heart breaks a little. The gaze Buck casts at his legs is pure dismay.

“Buck, hey, look at me,” Eddie says firmly, and Buck drags his eyes back to meet Eddie’s. “Temporary. Okay? Should get better in the next couple days. You’re not done being a firefighter.”

Because Eddie knows exactly what Buck is thinking. He and Bobby have had a few conversations about where they went wrong after the ladder truck bombing and Buck’s embolism, how things got so bad that Buck felt backed into filing a lawsuit. Despite what he’s told Buck, Eddie still feels bad about the whole situation, but he also knows that it’s in the past and they’ve done the work of understanding how things got as bad as they did. In all honesty, now he’s just relieved that he and Bobby, in one of their talks, decided to form a loose contingency plan should Buck’s typical luck continue and land him in a condition where he can’t work again.

Case in point, the hospital room Eddie is currently standing in.

“Rest ‘f team’s… ‘kay?” Buck croaks out, because of course that’s the next thing he’s worried about with the paralysis addressed. It brings Eddie out of his own head just in time–as he’s answering that yes, Buck, everyone is totally okay and just worried about you, Deirdre appears with all her usual joy.

“Well, look who I finally get to meet!” she declares, bright grin on her face that has Eddie smiling reflexively. “Buck, I’m Deirdre, I’m the nurse in charge of your care while you’re here. Let’s run through a few tests and then I’ll let Eddie fill you in on the rest.”

“Eddie, why are you insisting on letting me put you out?” Buck asks, casting another look at the cane propped against his hospital bed. It’s about the fourth way he’s found to ask that question since the topic of discharge the following day has come up, and Eddie and Bobby exchange an exasperated glance.

“Because I’d be real annoyed if you tried living in an apartment with stairs while your legs are still being weird and broke your neck, and then I lost all my free childcare. Is that what you wanna hear, Buck?” Eddie finally demands, having exhausted all of his usual kind reassurances. Buck rolls his eyes. “You- oh, Jesus Christ.” Eddie breathes, knowing suddenly that there’s really only one way to get this through Buck’s staunch denial that he is worth any kind of trouble, and he was really hoping to not do it in front of the man that is essentially Buck’s father.

But, honestly, he figures it’s a small price to pay if it finally convinces Buck that he’s worth every kind of effort Eddie could possibly put forth.

“Buck,” he says softly, taking the man’s hand. Buck senses the shift immediately, eyes snapping to meet Eddie’s. Eddie can see exactly when he registers the look that’s being directed at him. “Buck, it is never putting me out to have you with Christopher and I. Do you hear me? We love having you there. Honestly, I wish you didn’t have to leave.”

“Me too,” Buck admits in a near whisper.

“That does not change just because you need a little extra help for a while. Okay? Certainly didn’t seem to change things for you when you were sleeping on my shitty couch taking care of me after I got shot.” Buck shakes his head. “That’s love, though, isn’t it?” Buck inhales sharply. Eddie swears he hears Bobby doing the same. “I love you, Buck. Stop convincing yourself you aren’t worth my time or care.”

“Okay,” Buck breathes. “Okay. I- Eddie, I love you, too. I’m sorry I didn’t get to say it first.”

“I think you needed to hear it first,” Eddie says, smile pulling at his lips. “I’ll never begrudge that.”

“Thank you for bullying me into staying with you,” Buck says softly one night. They’re laying together in Eddie’s bed, and it’s just over three weeks after Buck’s accident; two since his release from the hospital. The two are gently intertwined, one of Buck’s legs tossed across both of Eddie’s. Even weeks out from the accident, it had taken them nearly ten minutes to get comfortable in a way that didn’t put pressure on Buck’s shoulder but also didn’t press on Buck’s back in the specific way he said made his legs go tingly, but Eddie thinks it was worth it.

“Thank you for finally agreeing,” Eddie answers. He presses a kiss to the top of Buck’s head, still giddy at the fact that he gets to do that now. “You still up for coming to the station tomorrow?” Buck shifts so he can look at Eddie, grin on his face.

“You think I’m gonna miss your triumphant return to the 118?” he asks. Their second true, blowout fight ever–the first being in a grocery store in front of their entire team and the poor staff members nearby–had occurred the week prior when Buck found out Eddie was planning to push off his return to work in favor of taking care of Buck.

“I’m not a little kid, Eddie! Why is it that you seem hell-bent on treating me like one?”

“You almost fucking died, Buckley, would you cut me some slack? Excuse me for being a little cautious when I have literally watched your heart stop. And it’s not like you can do much for yourself right now. What are you gonna do, piss in a bottle when you realize you haven’t been getting up unassisted?” Buck scoffs.

“Oh, I just knew you’d be difficult about this,” he spits. “I talked to Carla, alright? Got myself on her schedule. Your technophobe ass probably wouldn’t know this, but it’s actually still pretty easy to use a cell phone even when only one limb has total function.”

“How are you turning this on me right now?” Eddie demands, incredulous that his distaste for technology has ended up on the table. “Excuse me for not loving your track record when injured, alright? You don’t exactly have a very strong history of taking care of yourself. Or did you forget about almost dying in Bobby’s backyard because you pushed yourself so hard?”

Eddie decides it’s time to stop replaying the argument in his head. The insults had only gotten more creative and finally the fight had only ended when Buck had worked himself up so bad he had a coughing fit and Eddie had promptly nearly tripped trying to get over to Buck to start taking vitals. Eddie’d had to acknowledge that, okay, maybe he did tend to get a little worked up over Buck’s health. Buck, in turn, admitted that he hadn’t exactly given Eddie a shortage of reasons to worry.

He looks at Buck instead, still smiling up at him, and lets the love he’s finally stopped bottling up wash over him.

“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to drag yourself all the way out there just to come home after like an hour,” Eddie says. “You’re still healing, I don’t want you to feel like you have to put on a show.”

“Supporting you has never been some performance,” Buck insists. “Neither has taking any excuse I can get to eat cake from the bakery Hen goes to. That shit has never not hit the spot.” Eddie laughs.

“Okay, alright,” he says, “I get the picture. I won’t stand between you and your cake.”

“Good choice.”

“So. Hit the spot again?” Eddie asks Buck, unable to contain his grin.

“You have no idea, Diaz,” Buck answers through a mouthful of cake. “Might be even better than yours.” Eddie scoffs in mock outrage.

“How dare you?” he demands. “Mine had a screenshot of my wrist X-ray. Yours just says Congrats on not being paralyzed! I can’t believe nobody called HR.” Buck snorts.

“Baby, if anyone were gonna call HR, they would’ve done it when you stuck your tongue down my throat in the locker room this morning.”

“Trust me, we all wanted to!” Chimney shouts. Hen cackles from somewhere behind him.

Eddie decides it’s the perfect opportunity to kiss his boyfriend again.

#911 fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #injured evan buckley #my writing #buddie fic

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the-flaming-nightmare · 3 months

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Get to Know Your Fanfiction Writer

Thank you for the tag, @snowviolettwhite! 💛

When Did You Post Your First Ever Fanfiction:

In 2014

First Characters You Wrote For:

It was Sebastian and Ciel

Main Characters You Currently Write For:

Malcolm Bright

Ciel Phantomhive

Sebastian Michaelis

TK Strand

Owen Strand

Evan (Buck) Buckley

Bobby Nash

Athena Grant

Characters You Haven't Written About Before But Plan On Writing About Soon:

Joyce Byers

Geralt of Rivia

Steve Harrington

Fandoms You're Currently Writing For:

Black Butler

Prodigal Son

Supernatural

9-1-1: Lone Star

9-1-1

Platonic Pairings You Currently Write For:

Gil Arroyo and Malcolm Bright

Sam and Jack

Dean and Jack

Owen and TK Strand

Bobby Nash and Evan (Buck) Buckley

Athena Grant and Evan (Buck) Buckley

Romantic Pairings You Currently Write For:

Wincest (Sam and Dean)

Bathena (Bobby and Athena)

Vincent/Rachel Phantomhive

Top 3 Tags On AO3:

Non-Sexual Age Play

Sickfic

(Character) Needs A Hug

Your Currently Platform Where You Post Your Work:

AO3 and AO3 only

Snippet Of A WIP You're Currently Working On:

This is from the next chapter of my mini-series "Footprints," which is like a prequel to my Papa!Seb and Lil!Ciel verse.

Ciel poked at the roasted carrots on his plate with his plastic fork, glaring down at them as if they'd done something to personally offend him.

"Finish your carrots, Ciel," Vincent said, before returning back to his own plate of food.

"I don't like carrots, daddy," Ciel replied, lip curling in disgust. "They're gross."

Vincent couldn't help the laugh that escaped him.

Ciel pouted, letting his fork fall to his plate so he could cross his arms over his chest. "It's not funny, daddy."

"I'm–I'm sorry, son." Vincent forced himself to get a hold of his laughter. "Daddy didn't mean to laugh at you. It's just, well, you didn't always feel that way about carrots." The man turned in his seat to give his full attention to Ciel. "In fact, you loved them as a baby."

Tagging (if you wanna): @angelique-of-the-volturi-guard, @snarkythewoecrow, @tomwise and anyone else who wants to join!

#tag game #thekingspeaks

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bidisasterevankinard · 10 months

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Inspiration Saturday

do it now because soon I will hang out with friends (and it's 2 pm so)

Tagged by @panbuckley thank you love 💙💙💙

I will share two songs which inspire some scenes in street dancer Eddie au

gif (by @evanbuckleydaily )for another scene + snippet (sniper in LA in 4s, buddie are established in that moment but trust me it would be looooooong way for this)

Buck feels rather than hears Eddie gently approach him from behind and leaves a gentle kiss on his neck, hugging him around the waist and burying himself between his shoulder blades. “I should go. That’s my job,” the only thing Buck can say, but the truth is that if Eddie would ask him to quit firefighting, he'd do it in the blink of an eye. “I know. Just please, please be careful,” without raising his head, Eddie almost whispers it into his back, but Buck still hears in the silence of their bathroom. He turns to face his boyfriend and lifts Eddie's face by the chin in a gentle motion. Having established contact with the gorgeous eyes of his beloved, in which he sees a thick fog of sadness and fear, and hates that he can do nothing to ease the anxiety of the most important person in his life, even despite his unwillingness to destroy the silence around them, he says in a firm, but expressing all his love voice. “I will always fight to come back home to my family,” Buck emphasizes “fight” because it’s exactly what he does every time he is in danger after he met Eddie. Especially now when they are together. He fights to come back home, he fights for not leaving his boys too early.

Buck 1.0 would be shocked to find out how much Buck values his life now because he doesn’t want to lose his boys, his happiness, his family. “I will never willingly leave you or Chris,” he gently strokes Eddie's chin with his thumb, wanting to calm his anxiety a little with this touch. “So I, Evan “Buck” Buckley swear to you Eddie Diaz in this bathroom that you once decided to share with me, in this house where you let me feel at home for the first time in my life, in the house that you let me in to share with you and to build our life together, that I will behave like a good boy every second of my shift, that I will obey Bobby’s orders, that I will not rush into danger and most importantly, that every minute I will think about you and strive to get home. To you, to Chris, to our life. I swear I will do anything I can to enter our door safe and sound,” Buck kisses Eddie’s forehead and sees a tear rolling down his cheek, but his a little bit stupid, as they both know, heartfelt speech has done its job, Eddie smiles. It's not bright how he smiles when he's happy, but that's something. Buck gently kisses his partner, sealing his vow with their lips, promising all these words once again, but now only with the movement of his lips on Eddie's lips. He doesn't want to break away from Eddie, but it's time for him to go out.

Eddie sees him off at the door, gives him his bag, and kisses him again. “I love you,” Eddie whispers to him on the lips. “I love you too,” Buck uses all his willpower to break away from Eddie and walk out the door

and song which inspired complete new idea about singer Buck and dancer Eddie(I need to stop, but song is so buckcoded)

Tagging if they want to share 💙 : @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy @honestlydarkprincess @911onabc @ebdaydreamer @alyxmastershipper @transbuck @cowboy-buddie @lover-of-mine @heartshapedvows @bekkachaos @rogerzsteven @devirnis @the-likesofus @elvensorceress @shortsighted-owl @barbiediaz @buddierights @spaceprincessem @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @wildlife4life @wikiangela @hippolotamus @transboybuckley @heartbeatdiaz @spotsandsocks @monsterrae1 @djdangerlove @mandzuking17 anyone who wants to share

#Spotify #inspiration Saturday #fic: dance my way to your heart #street dancer eddie and firefighter buck #singer Buck and dancer Eddie #buddie wip #buddie

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ao3feed-hockey · 1 year

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homesick

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/d3ctN6r

by strxbryy

Family is not something you are born with. It is something that is found. It is not always with people who you share blood with and it will not stay the same. Just like seasons change, people change and they will come and go. Family is the people who stay, the people who put in the effort to stay in touch and the people who pull you out of the waters when you are drowning.

This is Evan's family.

Words: 709, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV), Men's Hockey RPF

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M, Other

Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Bobby Nash, Howie "Chimney" Han, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Maddie Buckley, Original Characters

Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Firehouse 118 Crew, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Howie "Chimney" Han, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson

Additional Tags: Hockey, ice hockey, Post-Lawsuit (9-1-1 TV), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Angst, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Sad Evan "Buck" Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley plays hockey, Insecure Evan "Buck" Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs A Hug, Evan "Buck" Buckley Gets a Hug, Eventaully, and yes his hockey name is justin taylor as in, the justin from queer as folk im sorry i love that boy, i know nothing about hockey, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/d3ctN6r

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #hockey rpf

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biboybuckley · 1 year

Text

wip wednesday!!

tagged by @swiftiebuckleys here’s some texas au cause it’s all i am working on :)

Eddie reaches in and pulls out a set of ropes and wood planks. They both frown at it, then turn to Helena. Ramon interjects before she has a chance to reply,

“A rope ladder, mi amor?”

Helena’s gaze flicks to him before settling back on the boys. “Well, you boys mentioned wanting to maybe make a tree fort in the old oak, and we certainly don’t need Evan falling off anymore branches.”

“It wasn’t my fault!” Evan immediately protests, throwing his hands up and rolling his eyes.

Helena laughs and leans forward to kiss the top of his head. “I know mijo, we just have to protect that precious little head of yours.” Evan’s throat suddenly becomes tight and there’s a slight burn behind his eyes.

“Thank you, mama,” Eddie says before Evan has to figure out a way to reply. His gaze turns to Evan and his smile wavers slightly. He looks at his father. “Dad, will you help me set it up while Mom takes Evan home? Mrs. Buckley wanted him home for dinner, right?”

“Yes, she’s probably waiting for you now. Did you bring anything over, sweetheart?”

Evan blinks, caught off guard by the sudden change. “Um- no, no I didn’t, but-”

“Well then, we better get you home to your mama before she thinks we’re stealing you.”

“Thanks for coming over, Evan,” Eddie says. Evan almost thinks he’s going to hug him, but all he gets is a tight smile.

“Yeah,” he replies softly, “of course. I’ll um, I’ll see you-”

“Later,” Eddie cuts in. “I’ll see you later.”

no tagging cause wednesday is almost over but if you see this and wanna post tag me!!

#texas au #wip wednesday

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lonely-writer · 2 years

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Your lover wakes up to you gasping for air, eyes wide as you just saw horrors beyond your own comprehension. They sling an arm around your waist and pull you close, face tucked against your neck buck x oc please 🥺❔

Anon, you know I love me some whump. Here's hoping you enjoy!

Title: Hold Me Closer

Pairing: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Original Female Character

Tags: Swearing, Whump, Angst, PTSD, Nightmares, mentions of bombs, mentions of drowning, mentions of guns, mentions of death, temporary character death, bc he doesn't actually die but it's better to tag it and not need it, Guilt, Post-Tsunami, Post-Lawsuit, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Insecure Evan "Buck" Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley needs a hug

Warnings: Some swearing, mentions of drowning, mentions of guns, mentions of bombs, mentions of death, temporary character death, PTSD

There is a burning in his lungs unlike any other, he can't breathe and he's coughing up blood like there's no tomorrow- pain rips through his body but he can't- he can't move no matter how hard he tries because he's stuck and trapped under a firetrap, because there'd been a bomb in a firetruck- their firetruck- someone was trying to kill him..or maybe it hadn't been meant for him and he was just the unlucky one. It's not surprising really, all his life he's had bad luck- no he was the cause of his own bad luck because getting hurt meant getting attention. But this attention? It's unwanted, unneeded- what he needs is to get up even though he's certain he can't- his lungs burn as he sucks in another desperate breath, there's a god awful ringing in his ears that tells him he's somehow still alive..he shouldn't be. There's too much blood in his mouth, his heart is pounding or slowing or both at the same time and it's painful to move. His leg is crushed that much he knows because there's a thirty ton ladder truck turned sideways on top of him and fire and smoke and he can't move and the pain and the blood and there's a teenager- oh god he has a gun and a bomb and- Bobby- the kid, he is just a kid after all shoots him- a scream rips through his lungs that burn- there's not nearly enough air in his lungs to be screaming and crying like this but Buck can't help it because he just watched his dad get shot and then Bobby is on the ground bleeding out and Buck is clawing at the ground trying to get to him as sobs flood through him.

Where is everyone? Why hasn't somebody stopped the kid? Why didn't he shoot him instead? Why was he still alive? Questions flood through his mind as he squeezes his eyes shut tightly trying to drown everything out- drown out the pain, the burning, the bleeding, the fear, the smell.

Drown.

He's drowning now. The world has shifted and he's struggling to swim, tossed and turned and the weight is off his legs but his lungs burn nonetheless. Water. He's underwater. How did he get here? Wasn't he just trapped under the ambulance? That shouldn't matter as Buck breaches the water's surface, he gasps for air and relieves some of the pain from his lungs but that vanishes the next moment as he's dragged under the water again, something hits his head- sure to leave a cut as he grasps for something solid to gain purchase to pull himself above the rising tide and thankfully he finds a ledge of some kind. Air. Sweet, sweet air rushes into him as he sputters lightly coughing up water in a panic- there's something he's missing, he knows that there's something wrong because he's seen this- done this all before- and- "Buck!" Christopher.

Buck's heart sinks into his stomach, the tsunami..he'd been on the pier with Christopher because he couldn't go back to work yet- the blood thinners had made sure of that, so he was watching Eddie's son and they'd gone to the pier to get him out of the house and now- now there'd been a tsunami. Why was everything going so god awfully wrong? Quickly he starts to scan the water's edge trying to find the young boy- there's screaming again and he's not certain where it's coming from because so many people are screaming and crying and "Buck! Buck help!" Where is he? The burning in his lungs is back followed by the familiar sting of tears in his eyes- Christopher is calling to him and he can't- he can't see- the water is too high- he needs to find him because Eddie will never forgive him if and he'll never forgive himself if- the scene changes and there's a conference room now.

McKay is sitting next to him with that god awful smug grin of his and sitting across from them is Eddie who looks so fucking disappointed in him- and Chimney- and Bobby- and Hen- they all hate him. 'You're useless, there's no way I'd want you back with my family.' Bobby tells him with a tone of venom in his voice, 'You destroy everything you touch. It's no wonder no one else wanted you.' 'Is this really what you want? To ruin all your friendships?' No. No it's not. But he can't speak. McKay told him not to and for once in his life he wants to do the right thing- that's what this is right? He's doing the right thing here- and suddenly the face is Raven. She's hurt and upset and there's nothing he can tell her, 'You're the most selfish person I've ever met, your parents were right to hate you. There's nothing special about you.'

Buck bolts up in bed gasping for air. There's no water, there's no tsunami or bomb or fire around him- he's supposed to be safe but nothing around him feels safe, instead the gnawing anxiety is still there with a vice like grip wrapped around his throat choking all of the air out of him. He tries the deep breathing exercises his therapist once showed him when ever he'd have a panic attack like this, in and out. Simple. It doesn't help, nothing can ground him to this moment as suddenly he feels tears stinging his eyes harshly, he doesn't like to cry but he's too far gone now- still he tries to keep himself quiet by biting his knuckle to keep the sobs muffled, he doesn't want to wake- movement next to him catches his attention and suddenly Raven is wide awake. It's not the first time she's had to deal with his nightmares waking the two of them up but it makes him feel worse nonetheless, he tries to speak something of an apology to her really it's the least he could do for all she has to go through dealing with him but no words leave him. He's choking back sobs as he tries to turn away from her, ashamed that he's unable to speak, upset with himself, and still reeling from the nightmare.

Raven is much faster than he is as she wraps her arms around his chest and pulls him into a tight hug, there's a moment of surprise in his heart, "It's okay...you're okay now. None of that was your fault, everyone's okay, we still love you." She assures him gently running one of her hands down his back. She doesn't know what he's been dreaming about and she doesn't seem to let it bother her because right now Buck needs comfort and she's more than willing to be his shoulder to cry on. With another harsh sob he all but collapses into her arms letting the pain and agony out as tears steadily flow down his face, it's cathartic in a way and helps him feel much better than he had before so they stay like this for what feels like an eternity until Buck manages to calm down.

"Rae..how.." Buck takes a deep breath and clenches his eyes shut, talking about his feeling has always been difficult, "How come you still stayed with me? After everything I put you through, after everything I told my lawyer? I gave him private information you trusted me with and I just- I threw that away like it meant nothing to me. But it did! I'm...I'm so sorry Raven, I don't deserve-"

"Shhh, I don't want to hear you bringing yourself down anymore...okay? You broke my trust sure, but you know what? I forgive you, besides you're making it up to me every day so you don't have to keep beating yourself up over it anymore, I'm over it. It may take time for the others to feel the same and to understand fully but they'll come around, you don't need to worry about anyone leaving you. If they do I'll beat them up for you okay?" She asks with a small teasing smile, it's the first time all night that Buck manages to crack something of a smile, he silently nods feeling a massive weight lifted off his chest.

#lonely writes #lonely answers asks #my writing #my fic #evan buck buckely #fanfic #911 #angst #tw mentions of death #tw mentions of guns #tw mentions of bombs #tw mentions of drowning #whump writing

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