#you kill your abuser? hell

[bruciemilf]

Adam should be more worried about his son’s admirers than some bisexual’s hotel (Hazbin hotel folks you’re welcome)

#what I basically had in mind is that cain handles the murderers/killers but he judges them unjustly #you kill your abuser? hell #which is obviously an extremely unfair system. just because HIS murder was unjustified he views all of them to be the same #to me it’s an allegory of how little empathy and critical thinking the justice system puts into these things #very hot tho #hazbin cain #hazbin hotel #fanart #art #digital art #hazbin oc

[craycraybluejay]

Btw i do block anti para discoursers. If u believe in thought crime you're going to annoy the shit out of me if you're not just full on trying to harm people who aren't doing anything wrong. And I don't want someone like you around me. Also it feels like abuse apologia and false conflation of a thought or feeling with abuse. And that is cruel to victims of abuse.

only exception is if we're mutuals and you in good faith want to learn more about why the idea of thought crime is BAD NEWS. Oh yeah and it puts innocent people behind bars, and i don't mean for stuff like csem which actually is abuse. What I'm referring to is known as Obscenity Law in the US, barring the possession or distribution of ANY generally legal pornography if it "doesn't align with your community's values" and "is obscene/gross" and "has no artistic merit," all of which are extremely subjective and up to judges, juries, and lawyers. Don't panic though, furries and bdsm likers and lolicon havers. These things alone are not illegal, and you cannot be charged for obscenity law unless someone specifically goes through the effort to take you to court with an incredibly good lawyer. Basically, unless you think that someone who has legally obtained proof (e.g: not stolen, etc.), a lot of money, and a burning hate for you, and you live in a very conservative community, the chances you will ever have to deal with obscenity law are extremely low to none.

#pro para #obscenity law #us law #disclaimer that i am not a lawyer and simply heavily into law research of all kinds but cannot give legal advice as a lawyer #(yet) (might become a lawyer someday idk we'll see) #paraphile safe #thought crime #btw antis before you use the legality argument as a gotcha for the millionth time #your cute fluffy gay fanfic with no age difference can still apply under obscenity law #tw csem mention #also 'proship antipara' people are cringe as hell #if you can acknowledge that thinking about a character is not abuse you can acknowledge the same of thinking ab something real #cause thing is thinking about something does nothing to anyone #like right now im choosing to think about killing idk some guy walking his dog. the guy and the dog are fine and alive and well. #nothing happened or will happen #hope that helps

[edandstede]

“stizzy” and “edizzy” this “steddyhands polycule” that i’m being violently sick on my shoes actually

#ofmd spoilers #fucked in the head if you think stede would touch izzy with a ten foot barge pole #stede might come to respect his skills as a pirate but fucking hell #he actively daydreamed about killing him for hurting ed #he left ed for fucking dead on the ship #and you think this is gonna be a love story that includes izzy #i’m seeing people genuinely thinking their ‘arc together’ this season is a love one #bro 🤡 #it is fucking not and sometimes you really are just wrong #like you’re actually radged. off your rockers #just. you have this beautiful love story between ed and stede #and you want to invite the dude who almost killed them both to the party #who is racist and homophobic and emotionally abusive to the point of pushing ed to suicide #the fuck is wrong with you actually #fandom wank #quill to paper #swinging a bat at a hornet’s nest i don’t care. ship what you want but it’s a no from me

[lilflowerpot]

Heyo! So, less of a question, but I just wanted to say that your fic has officially become my go-to whenever I need some delicious Good!Lotor in my life. Like just the other day I started thinkin how dirty canon did him and had to reread your fic to make me feel better. Oh! heres a question (tho you may address it in LB, but...): what are your thoughts on Canon's Haggar/honerva redemption where as lotor was last scene as a melted blob? I could sorely use some Lotor defense rn....

(⁄ ⁄>⁄‿ ⁄<⁄ ⁄) ahhhhhhhh that's very sweet of you to say, tysm my love!! Lotor honestly deserved so much better than canon ultimately gave him, so I am happy to be of service ♡

As for condemned!Lotor vs redeemed!Honerva....................... I have gone OFF on this topic several times before and it drives me absolutely mad every damn time because,,, like,,,,,, what a fucking joke?? So the abused child was, yes, willing to sacrifice the few to save the many, but in wHAT FUCKING WORLD IS THAT WORSE THAN HAGGAR WHO EXPERIMENTED / TORTURED / KILLED FOR PERSONAL GAIN AND ALSO CREATED THE KOMAR?

R E A L L Y

I don't think I can surmise my distaste for this particular Choice™ any more concisely than I did in the tags of a post from three years ago:

#here's a complaint I have from canon: you're telling me that little star-explorer Lotor- #-who did everything he could to work //with// the people of Ven'tar's planet rather than subjugate them as Zarkon wanted- #-failed at Oriande.. while Haggar succeeded?  H a g g a r #I don't CARE that she used to be Honerva or that she retrieved her memories of that time before entering Oriande #the last trial was presented as one designed to unveil the participants' moral disposition.. and you want to tell me that it found: #''I will work alongside the people and beg my father on my knees to spare them'' Lotor #somehow a //worse person// than ''I designed the Komar turned Naxzela into a bomb and enjoy experimenting on conscious beings'' Haggar #...........nah

#//do not// what they did to my boy was an abomination #not to mention the way canon essentially doubled down on the ''you will inevitably become your abuser'' narrative- #-by having Lotor ultimately declare he wanted to kill the entire galra race.. what the hell were they THINKING #canon and I are not friends #Ao3 Little Blade #sa screams back #the author speaks #prince lotor

[laniidae-passerine]

Honestly I think Dean Highbottom has some shit to answer to as well. The mockery, the derision, the outright admittance that he was hoping Coriolanus would fail and the Snow family would continue to suffer. How someone who loathed the Games still treated a young man with cruelty because of the past, because of social divides that would be so easy to tear down. In the end, it wasn’t just Gaul who shaped Snow into the man he became. So bitter and hateful. So incapable of compassion and forgiveness. Just like his father. Just like his Dean.

#like yeah there were a lot of things questionable about Snow even before he was chosen as a mentor in the games #but like. damn. you didn’t even consider the idea he could be better than his father did you? #the way kindness could have unravelled some of the hate in Snow’s heart #listen to me tell you the horrible things your father did. listen to me tell you that you can be different. you are not the past. #the divides between us do not truly exist. look at the weapon in your hand. it is real. and it can do real damage #but if you never hate someone - if they never fool you into letting violence into your heart - they can never make you use it #it breaks my heart. how could you hate a ghost so much that you’d kill a child. I don’t know. but the Dean does. and so does Snow. #the cycles run and run until somebody stops. and burns some bread. and shares berries. and takes an arrow. and says no more. I love you #it is difficult. it could hurt me. it could be the very last thing I do. it may not even serve me well. but I love you. I love. always. #how pathetic hate makes you. how strong love makes you. like staring at the Dean and staring at characters like Haymitch #like two substance abusing men who know the system inside out. who are complicit. who are victims. both embittered and angry. #but one saw a child and decided to punish him for the past #and the other saw a child and decided - okay. it’s been 23 years. my heart hurts. I want to give in. I want to hate you. I want to not care. #I’m going to care anyway. I’m in so much pain. It’s killing me. I’m going to care anyway. about you both. it won’t be perfect. but I care. #and I’ll be here through hell. and I will fuck up. so fucking badly. because I’m still addicted and angry and god knows I have suffered. #god knows these hands are bloody and they always will be. but I will keep coming back. I will keep trying. I will still love. #and in the end I will write names in a book that belongs to you and I will find a little bit of peace in a house where the sun shines #and the geese make ridiculous noises in the yard. and love will have seen me through. #HAYMITCH YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS I LOVE YOU MY IMPERFECT DARLING #dean highbottom #coriolanus snow #the hunger games #a ballad of songbirds and snakes #haymitch abernathy #thg #abosas #suzanne collins #SHE WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS

[yuridovewing]

Feel like one of the best ways you can convince someone that no, villains with compelling motives that have sad backstories are not terrible writing compared to straight up born evil villains who just want to kill everyone and be done with it, is to tell them that Warrior Cats writes born evil villains constantly while literally preaching “That’s how evil works, you can’t CHANGE, you’re either touched by demons at birth or you aren’t!” and it blows chunks

#brokenstar tigerstar hawkfrost darktail one eye etc etc would all be so much more interesting if they werent so one note #and just had ‘’born evil’’ slapped on as their explanation for being evil #‘’ew why are you woobifying tigerstar’’ because i think a villain who feels emotion besides ‘’evil’’ and ‘’angry’’ and actually does care #about his clanmates but is also a bigot that deserves to be beaten down is more interesting than canon #to get like real world political here… abusive people and bigots like. are not one note born evil demons #they have loved ones and reasons for turning out the way they did. and im not saying that to go ‘’so you need to give them grace!’’ #im saying that because the line of thinking that every bad person is a super obvious mustache twirling villain with no soul #makes it so that people justify abuse and crimes from REAL people. like ‘’oh my friend says some racist things but he isnt BAD! he loves me! #would an abusive person be nice to his wife in public? of course not!’’ #and its rhetoric like that that lets abuse and bigotry thrive. if you put the world in categories of born evil and born good #then you will dismiss all the ‘’good’’ people in your life who have done horrible things with ‘’but she donated to charity once’’ #i mean. hell this LITERALLY happens in wc where the ‘’born good’’ characters are abusive and murderously xenophobic #where characters like clear sky and blackstar just get a sticker like ‘’oh you cant be TOO mad at them! theyre good at heart!’’ #‘’ignore all the times they killed vulnerable people for the crime of being born somewhere they didnt like! they were nice to a kid once!’’ #the message there is literally ‘’bad people cant REALLY be bad if theyre nice to people sometimes’’ #like. im not even mad at clear sky being motivated by witnessing his loved ones starve to death for why hes such an abusive control freak #thats an interesting reason to become a villain especially since the change happened when he was put in a position of power #the problem is not him having a sad backstory. the problem is the erins think his sad backstory means he was never that bad #and anyone who’s upset at him can go eat shit and die cause he looked sad #like. i get this line of thinking often comes from writers doing this for abuse apologism and just wanting to see abusers be held accountabl #accountable #but how exactly does it help victims of abuse to portray abusers and bigots in a christian ‘’touched by the devil’’ light

[anne-bsd-bibliophile]

I’ve realized that it’s hard to change after being told it was selfish and wrong for me to talk for most of my life. I don’t even consider telling anyone most of what I think, and I don’t even know where to begin bringing up a topic of conversation. I always let other people do most of the talking in social settings or it’s a work related conversation. Even here on Tumblr, I mostly just post quotes from books I like or reblog stuff. I don’t know if I even have the words to express myself and I have to borrow what other people have said. It feels really awkward because I really have no idea what to say and I don’t have any confidence that anyone would want to hear my thoughts or opinions. Now that my father is dead and he’s not going to punish me for talking I still have a long way to go before I will be able to express myself the way I want to. Even if I want to open up, I can’t think of how to do that and I’m scared that I will just be annoying and awkward the whole time.

#coping with narcissistic abuse #I wasn't allowed to exist as myself #so my father tried to kill who I was and make me into what he wanted me to be #which was just something to make him look good and allow him to live vicariously through me #and when that didn't work I became the scapegoat #everything was suddenly my fault and I was the selfish daughter who was destroying the family #all because I wanted to enjoy Shakespeare plays and be an honors student instead of being a cheerleader and a social butterfly #I would always ask my mom and my counselor what I did wrong to make me a target #and they kept saying I did nothing wrong #none of it made sense until I learned more about Narcissistic Personality Disorder #when I learned that they hijack your super ego and brainwash you it made more sense #me being myself and not letting him control every aspect of myself was what I did /wrong/ in his mind #and that was reason enough for him to make my life a living hell #and that is also why no matter what I did I could never earn my father's love #nothing could have made him love me for who I am

[piplupod]

the reason Juno can be so pleasant and niceys to be around is because me and a couple other chucklefucks back here are taking on the brunt of the less pleasant symptoms that you get when you are abused your entire life by the people who are supposed to keep you safe. if you think Juno's pleasant and kind and soft, it's because some other parts of the brain have to hold all the ugly "bad victim" reactions and temperaments.

I'm just pissed that people who haven't gone through this shit get so shocked and horrified at some really common sentiments among abuse survivors.

#saying ''bro are you okay??'' at a REALLY common sentiment is so stupid #no dude we are not fucking okay!!! #there is no way to BE okay when you have this type of life #the closest thing you get to okay is not wanting to kill yourself for a while and maybe finding a bit of joy during the day #but you still have to live with the knowledge that you will never get that safe childhood. your brain will never be normal #you will just be fucked up for your entire life. there will always be triggers and flashbacks and the chance of you slipping back into shit #even if we get over a lot of things (doubtful) our brain still never got the chance to develop properly. its going to be skewed forever #there's always going to be the chance of you relapsing back into having triggers or seeking out being abused bc its familiar #or other maladaptive behaviours #and i KNOWWW this sounds pessimistic and I'm being a huge downer right now lmfao I'm so goddamn aware #but I'm pissed the hell off at people being so shitty to abuse survivors who don't act all nice and pleasant all the time #not to say we should get a free ticket to being a piece of shit all the time but just like. if we're not hurting anyone... shut up. yknow? #chase on the mic #abuse tw

[kittykatinabag]

Astarion really taking a page out of Mary Shelley's book by initiating romantic happenings over his grave.

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #but also me on the verge of tears watching him grieve over giving up the opportunity for absolute power #the realization that if he took it then it would be killing the person he had finally started building away from his abuser #that intertwing complexity of wanting to make all his own decisions but when the ultimate choice came he still had to be persuaded by tav #that 'thats what you want right?' line to tav about taking the power of acendence piereced my heart because thats such a familiar feeling: #thinking you're doing this all for the person who believed in you but realizing that doing that isnt fundamentally different than before #and that the choice you want will destory your entire identity as you understand it #anyway i still need to level up more because fucking hell i was the same level as cazador and he wrecked me 5 times before i beat him #and lae'zel is currently trapped behind a level 16 boss that basically 2-3 turn total party wipes me rn #will say im really annoyed at how fast orin comes after one of your camp members when youre doing the logical flow of the game #like cant this wait until ive at least exolored more than 50% of the lower city? #why does going into the elfsong taverns basement for a quest (not even down to the emperors lair) trigger this? #its gonna probably be like 10-20 more hours of gameplay before i can even attempt a rescue mission now #late night ramblings

[craycraybluejay]

i should get more method by smoking more weed + remembering the million times i got too fucked up and thought i was going to die or just very but not too fucked up and how it felt in the moment. the confusion, weird fixations, wack visuals, nausea, dissassociation, shame, real and vivid fear of death.

i can tell y'all i have had someone make active attempts on my life but there is no death as frightening as the idea of dying in a puddle of puke and other bodily fluids feeling so disoriented and so much physical pain and discomfort that you'd pay a million dollars to crawl directly out of your body. there's easier OD concepts to stomach like one depressants but the concept of dying on a psychedelic or an upper or even a stimulating dissociative is terrifying. or dying from contaminants which injure you a lot more than whatever you were meaning to take ever could.

i want to write angel having a seizure the way i did. i want to write him compulsively adding different substances because just the one isn't enough. i want to torture this lil guy as he tries and fails to save himself :3

#as i always say please test your drugs im begging you #delete later #getting too personal up in here #but fr the world of serious substance use is a crazy place to even visit let alone live in #the entirety of reality just does not work the same way #its beautiful and scary and you dont want to become a permanent resident there #but its a lot like toxic relationships and maladaptivelt returning to them over and over #i want to parallel angel's drug abuse with his relationship to valentino #because even if you OD or have some kind of serious problem from it or get spiked with something awful #chances are you will always have that curiosity and urge to try again. try more. different new novel fun #bc even when it feels like hell its a unique hell. and more importantly its not your life anymore #no worries about being abused or homeless or very sick if the drugs bring a whole new hell #sometimes when you almost die you just get grateful it wasnt the real world that almost killed you #sometimes when youve looked in the void you laugh at how ridiculous your pain and grief and life is #its all stupid! none of it matters! we are all going to die and your exit card from the real world is in a box of mints #idk. sometimes a drug is an enhancer of reality and sometimes a different reality altogether. a lot of the experience depends on why you #take it. if you get high socially youre going to lean into related effects more heavily. if you do it to escape or explore thats what youll #get. ive never had the level of Problem Angel does but I Get It. i get why #im too broke to sustain a Problem of that nature lmao. like ok if i spend all my money i can lose my mind for a week #then ill be withdrawing and hungover from 20 diff things and penniless. no ty #however i will rarely say no to sharesies ill suck ya dick for my DOC 👍 #JOKING. ish

[praetorqueenreyna]

LISTEN! both sides of the pirate poll are fucking losers. but the OFMD fans are something else. yall getting way too worked up about a show where a seagull's wife kills the person who murdered the seagull.

#jalsdfkjdslf MY TWO CENTS #like the whole 'if you like ofmd you SUPPORT THE ATLANTIC SLAVE TRADE' is cringey as hell #can yall fucking CHILL jesus christ #but also the fandoms for cute lighthearted shows are the most annoying people on god's green earth #'this show stops me from killing myself and everyone around me and if you insult it ur stabbing me in the heart' #lighten UP #yall need to become fans of hated characters more often #builds up your resilience #get thicker skin #when most of the fandom calls your character an ABUSER you learn to let that shit go #am I talking about tamlin or aang? YES

[theorderofthetriad]

again with this shit

Stop acting like Ed’s some unhinged abusive monster for the toe thing while trivializing Izzy’s bad choices in the same breath.

Stop acting like Izzy is some unhinged abusive monster for his litany of bad choices while trivializing Ed's violent actions in the same breath!

Everyday I get less and less tolerant of people acting like Ed overreacted and Izzy did absolutely nothing to justify what happened to him in episode 10.

Everyday I get less and less tolerant of people acting like cutting off someone's toe while they sleep and forcing them to eat it is ever a justified action!!!! It does not matter what the person you're doing it to did in order to "justify" having it happen to them, you are still maiming someone!

Besides “Ed’s becoming a different person so Izzy has the right to be upset” does not track

I don't think i have ever in my time scouring the Izzy Hands tag seen someone say that Izzy has the right to think or do the things he's done. I've seen people explain the why of those things, but never justifying the actions. Someone explaining why Izzy thinks his actions were the right choices in the moment is not the same as them actually saying that Izzy's actions were the right thing to do.

I think the reason people see these things as lesser than the choking or toe incident is because of the subconscious tendency we have to deemphasize emotional abuse.

I think the reason people are trying to justify Ed permanently maiming Izzy is because they subconsciously think that some abuse is okay and maybe even deserved if the victim is an unpleasant or "bad" person. I mean this person literally said "people acting like [...] Izzy did absolutely nothing to justify what happened to him." as though what Izzy did justified what happened.

The pain Ed caused Izzy was not worse or “disproportionate” to what Izzy caused Ed just because it was physical.

yeah actually it fucking was disproportionate. like, yeah, the things Izzy said were supremely shitty, but i've had people say things to me that were way worse and I'd chose the mental trauma of those cruel words over the physical trauma of getting my toe cut off (and the mental trauma of being forced to eat my own fucking toe) literally any goddamn day.

"just because it was physical" as though there's gonna be no mental element to that trauma. jfc

#if you see the post i'm addressing please just to the mature thing and block them and vague about it if you need to say something #it's not really productive to directly respond to these sort of posts #like TRUST ME i've been in the fandom discourse trenches since ATLA fandom's deviantart days #anyways this just in! nonconsensually cutting off someone's toes in a nonmedical context will never be okay! #and hell! nonconsensually cutting off someone's toes in a medical context is also morally iffy! #i genuinely find it disturbing how quick people are to excuse the maiming bc izzy is a shitty person #and the same people who excuse the maiming are also the ones vehemently condemning Izzy's actions as abusive #so premeditated physical violence in retaliation to emotional abuse is totally okay to these people?? #in some situations where the abuser has all the power i can understand that but Ed is on a ship full of guys who would happily kill Izzy #if ed needs izzy dealt with or removed from the situation he can do so in many ways that don't include forced auto-cannibalism #honestly if Ed had MURDERED Izzy in his sleep i woulda been fine with it #(i mean other than the part where Izzy is dead and Ed has a new murder to feel guilty about) #resorting to murder to get a toxic element out of your life is fine. maiming the toxic element and keeping it in your life is FUCKED UP #izzy hands #ofmd #santagno

[adastra121]

Touchstarved OC Backstory: Alon the Hound

tw: abuse, child abuse (a super brief mention and not focused on the MC, but take care just in case!)

Alon grew up in the walled city of Acaelia, one of the old cities that had survived Fogfall, but one with a huge wealth disparity between the affluent citizens of the Inner District and the impoverished working class of the Outer District.

She was born in the Outer District and abandoned to an orphanage at a very young age. They don’t really remember their family anymore, but she does wonder from time to time where they went, if they managed to make it out of the Outer District and so on.

Alon’s childhood friend was an orphan named Erick. They grew up on the streets together. He was the only one who knew about their curse, who saw its effects and didn’t run. Probably because she once used it to save him when they met.

When Alon was young, they saw his father beating him. She was just a child, she wasn’t strong enough to stop the him, so she pulled the old and worn mitt off her hand and used her curse. The man went mad and lunged for Alon instead, poisoned with a deranged urge to kill her, heedless of everything else around them.

Erick knocks him out with a wooden plank and they escape. They never see him again, he could be dead, he could be imprisoned by the city. He’s essentially dead where it matters, though, become a zombie of sorts to the madness Alon inflicted on him.

Ever since Alon helped Erick, they were inseparable, sticking together through thick and thin.

They were sent to the same poor orphanage in the Outer District.

That place was pretty shitty. Abusive teachers and caregivers, food shortages, and so few resources that it was normal for the older children to form their own small trade businesses within the orphanage. Cold medicine for three days worth of food, a thick blanket for a pair of new shoes, a bag of Inner District candy for a pack of playing cards.

Alon and Erick were the most skilled thieves in the orphanage, who made frequent trips to the Inner District to busk and con their way into wealthy people’s pockets.

Alon was usually the actor while Erick kept an eye on everything from the shadows. Alon was good with grifting, pickpocketing, and most importantly, jumping right into whatever action was needed for the job, which usually involved causing a huge disaster as a distraction or making a quick getaway. Meanwhile, Erick strategized, memorized escape routes, planned for the unexpected, and made sure they stayed out of trouble.

One night, they made a pact to become the best thieves in the world so they could get enough money and resources to run away from the wretched walled city and find a cure for Alon’s curse.

Time passed and Alon and Erick formed the Greycloaks, a group of young thieves and mercenaries with Erick as their leader. They do jobs for themselves but they also have a whole Robin Hood-esque “steal from the rich and give to the poor” routine. They take care of those in the Outer District, basically.

Unfortunately, their deeds steadily attract the attention of both the Inner District elite and the Outer District kingpins.

Eventually, Alon pulled an ambitious heist and pissed off all the wrong people and now, everyone’s calling for their head.

The Greycloaks planned another mission, a last ditch effort to climb out of hot water. Alon realized too late that it was a setup.

There’s a fight, it’s bloody, Erick slashes a scar on the right side of Alon’s face after their glasses are knocked off in the scuffle. He picks them up and gives them back to her later, because she needs them to see.

Erick betrayed Alon for the good of the Greycloaks. The crew needed the money for the oncoming war, and Erick, having grown into his leadership role, no longer planned to flee the city like they'd dreamed when they were kids.

In the chaos, Alon manages to escape and Erick gives chase. Alon's good at running away, but Erick had dodged and escaped city guards with her since they were children. And he knows them. Eventually, he corners her and they end up just the two of them, just like the beginning. 

They fight and it is bloody and desperate. But Erick had always been the better fighter between the two of them.

His blade ends up just shy of her neck when he sees it. Fog grey and cracks of gold, a mere inch from his face. They’re at a standstill.

Alon’s eyes are wide and feral, a million different emotions flashing through them in that one moment. Shock, horror, disgust, and desperation.

Then it all disappears. Their eyes go blank, and the thief drops their hand. “Do it.”

Alon was left with barely enough to get out of the city and reach Eridia. As far as everyone else knows, they’re dead. No point going after the Greycloaks now.

“This is all I can do. Get out of Acaelia. Don’t ever return.”

Alon’s feelings about her crew’s betrayal are an entire mess.

They say they’re over it. They’re not over it.

They understand Erick and the Greycloaks’ betrayal. She gets it, really, she does — so there’s no point in getting angry about them or crying over them or missing them. She’s fine.

Alon doesn’t hold grudges. Or, well, she’s trying really hard not to dwell on it.

And if they drunkenly belt out an entire set of angry, heartbroken breakup songs with personalized lyrics in the local taverns, that’s neither here nor there…

She’d say with their whole chest that they weren’t singing about anyone in particular.

“You stink, where’s the bard?” “You want the bard, buddy? The bard’s gone! Sometimes the performers you want on your stage leave and you’re left with nothing but shit booze and silence and the crushing absence of the music that you should’ve appreciated when you still had them!” *said bard slowly approaching the stage* “Um. Sorry, I think it’s time to start my set now? I’m going to have to ask you to step off the stage.”

Alon doesn’t hate Erick. They can’t. And what also sucks is that Erick never hated her and still doesn’t — she knows this. No, they love each other and he still betrayed her. And damn, doesn’t that just fuck you up, knowing that someone who genuinely loves you can still willfully hurt you like that.

“I hear a lot of people are nervous about going to Eridia because there are more Monsters there compared to other cities, but so far, no Monster has made an escape pact with me during childhood, co-started a crew just close and crazy enough to be family, then used said crew-slash-family to ambush, rob, and promptly exile me from my hometown, haha, so…you know. How much harder could they hit, really? So much for ‘thick as thieves’…‘But, oh, what if they try to kill you?’ Yeah, the guy I used to bunk with already tried — and let me tell ya, nothing’s more insulting than an attempted murder by someone who used to hog the blanket and shove you off the bed, when you’re both on the. Top. Bunk. I think if anyone has a right to kill somebody in that situation, it should be me! So to answer your question, good sir, yeah, I’d shag a Monster. Or at the very least, kiss with tongue.”

I also made this playlist for Alon and Erick's relationship, which I guess is just Alon's coping-with-a-breakup playlist. :

"A Million Dreams" by Hugh Jackman, Michelle Williams, and Ziv Zaifman

"Secret Worlds" by The Amazing Devil

"Fair" by The Amazing Devil

"To Noise Making (Sing)" by Hozier

“Kids Again” by Artist vs Poet

“Garden” by Dua Lipa

“Gravity” by Against the Current

“Snakes” by PVRIS

“So What” by P!NK

“Burn Butcher Burn” Cover by Fruitlegs

"The One That Got Away" Cover by Brielle Von Hugel

“Dynasty" by MIIA

“What Could Have Been” by Sting ft. Ray Chen

“Farewell Wanderlust” by The Amazing Devil

“Good Riddance” by Darren Korb ft. Ashley Barett

I never really decided whether Alon and Erick are just extremely close friends or at-one-point lovers or angsty, pining idiots who never confessed nor got together but somehow still had the most dramatic breakup. All I know for sure is that they're exes.

#i took the hound backstory and i just ran with it #alon is the only one of my mcs that intentionally used the curse on someone and has prepared to do it again #hell the bandages in her case are a thought out decision for emergencies #because a bandage wrapping is a lot easier to rip or slice or shift out of place compared to a glove #all you need to do is dig a thumb under a loose section #or undo the trick knot and boom! #your enemies suddenly have to deal with a goon that's impossible to control or command and only has the singular goal to kill you! #er...alon's still working on the “avoid getting killed” part but it's a solid backup plan to help the rest of their crew escape if needed #haha…huh…alon never really prepared for needing to escape from their crew… #touchstarved #touchstarved oc #alon the hound #erick the wolf #my oc #original character #my original character #backstory #character backstory #alon x erick #erick x alon #tw abuse #tw child abuse #touchstarved game #I might rewrite the heist and their final confrontation

[asteralien]

"actually it's not good ace representation if the ace character is a demonic mass murderer who is basically a homicidal maniac" WRONG. aces have put up with enough. we get to kill now.

#guess what web cartoon i finally watched #and like. once again. i Get It. #maim kill massacre threaten use and abuse all the powers of hell? absolutely. engage in s*xual act*vities? fuck no. #'it's not good representation if the characters are evil or act badly' #what if you sat on the rooftop at midnight and released your inhibitions and felt the rain on your skin. #what if we let queer characters be more complex than Representation and felt the free wind on our faces and laid in the grass for hours. #also asexual characters are just allowed to do whatever they want. it's okay. they've got a permit (postit note that says 'ace' on it) #mythtakes

[cainite-bite]

Here’s my gaming hot take;

im so saddened, and sick and tired of the fact that so many games are being flooded with chuds who want to turn everything competitive and don’t know how to fucking have fun

“I only play to climb ranks/win for a team/will scream insults if you aren’t in a clan” thats fine and dandy but you keep joining matches and staying in matches with like 9 other players who do not give a flying fuck and would rather not deal with your howler monkey ass screaming at the top of your lungs when you die once and decide to rage quit. Most people don’t care about your K-D or the fact you’re in some superficial and stupid clan full of other fragile egos. Learn to have fun instead of compensating for the fact you never bothered to practice anything else to become skilled in and can’t make your parents proud of you with literally anything (and thus screaming at others to take it out on them).

And I hate the fact that devs, sometimes much to their own detriment, are trying to cater to the merry little band of shrieking donkeys by gearing up all their shit for just that and trying to pretend the casual crowd isn’t there

#its like the whole difficulty setting thing with how many wanna launch into the whole we have NORMAL AND SUPER HARD AND LEGENDARY #and mock the people who chose normal still and pretend they're a niche batch of cry wimps #but the reality is normal was still the highest played shit but you gotta poke at your core base to look cool to the loud posers #hell even EA went over their one new games when the chuds were pretending the hardcore mode was more popular than super easy #and saying super easy should be taken off #and turned out there was 10% more playing super easy than the hardcore one which had a whopping small 4% of players #not that either should be removed but its the same concept of shit flinging to try and appear cool and awesome #and meanwhile they just eat their own foot #but anyways im sick and tired of just hearing these fucking asshole rambo wannabes #and if they all just died out and never had to hear one scream obscenities into the mic and verbally abuse others i would be happier #especially with the pathetic crowd who do this with co-op games of all things #like what was the point of shouting slurs and saying everyone ruined everything because you ran off on your own #and got killed by a boomer in l4d2 #if you take shit this seriously and verbally abuse people every time you play a game then you need to get the fuck off #if dying in a game once reduces you to punching a wall or breaking a controller/keyboard you need to get the fuck off #and you desperately need to learn better ways to cope with your life because normal people are NOT like this

[katyspersonal]

Anon from last time here - I am being 100% genuine, from a non-westerner to another non-westerner. Americans who believe they own the internet will be the death of me one of those days, thinking that their country's culture should be the universal standard... Well, i understand why you might think it wasn't genuine given your complicated situation right now. I really do hope that things settle down soon and you'll be left to enjoy things in peace, though, because i did enjoy reading your lore posts and the thought you put behind all of the things you say. I also hope you have a good day today! ❤️

Awwwwh, I can't help but to use this image again:

Yeah, it is.... Absurd, how MANY people without basic comprehension of how humans work and having cultish level of purism towards whatever person they decided to dehumanise just happen to be Americans. I want to find a better name for this phenomenon than "SJW wokeness" because this term is ruined by people that throw it at literally anyone who is as much as not strictly conservative, but whatever this mentality is sure it comes from USA.

On the OTHER hand, I am not doing good by generalising, especially as someone who should be well familiar with my entire nation seen as evil because of...... well, SOME things outside of control of the normal ones of us, let's call it that ok? I don't really want to automatically shun Americans who are normal and have second-hand shame for what they're associated with in worldwide internet, like... sure there must be a nicer way to communicate this anger and frustration than attributing it to nation, it is a dangerous path you know? Some people from other countries pick that mentality too, like, what about them then? sighhhh,,,.

_____________________

I side-tracked, but thank you very much nice anon, you are so cool 🥺 My trust issues increased, mostly thanks to A. who faked forgiving and chillness for 40 days and then just could not resist the temptation to participate in cancelling, but it comes down to the 'do I suffer betrayals in search for genuinety or lose both forever'? Even if things never calm down, 1) I am obnoxious canon purist ( /j) and my love for these videogames lays within source material first and fandom second, so I am past the stage of letting bad fandom experience ruin my passion and 2) They're self-isolating from the sane people within crazy witch-hunters like themselves by compiling every single time I was angry (or my friend on my behalf) through years to paint me as a monster that should be cut off from society; the problem with sanitized groups like this is that their bonds are based on hatred for external enemies and fear, they eat their own, so they won't see a happy future anyway. If one of them happens to develop mental problems that are not something tame like social anxiety and defensive self-loathing... I dread to think what happens, really. Their """allies""" will whisper and mock behind their back and plot against them.

Okay, I side-tracked AGAIN, but there are just so many things to cover @_@" No matter how clear I make myself, there is always something else I want to add! But there will be more lore posts, that's sure!

And I hope you have a good day too!

#ask replies #positive #personal #fandomry rambles #drama #as for the last paragraph of my 'speech': #if any of your circle is reading this: if you get betrayed by your own cult for a dumb reason you can always seek us! #(me and the girls and also Val) #we are forgiving and it will kill us one day but you guys are caught in a diet version of cult dynamics #so yeah #perhaps i am running too far into the future #my friend who's been through similar situation (except all alone and harder and for over a decade) told me that- #-such things would come around only years later #but ya'll are in the community where people will lie in your face you're fine and accuse you of being abusive and toxic behind your back #that's why if a few years later one of you sees they threw away you too after all? I'll be here lol #i am stuck in soulsborne hell for all eternity because no chance in hell more Insight-granting games will ever be created