#you deserve someone who loves you

[swedenis-h]

Change

#me when leia deserved a better outfit for the end of the original trilogy #anyways do you guys ever think about the conflict Luke would have with Ben #like it’s the same thing with Leia and Vader #where Luke forgave him and leia would NEVER #but this is leia loving him and Luke conflicted because Ben was the one who told him to suppress his emotions #like of course he still loves him but #I’d be a little mad at someone who to me to suppress all my emotions #anyways bye #art #fanart #digital art #fan art #star wars #star wars fanart #luke skywalker #leia organa #ben kenobi #my art #obi wan kenobi

[inkskinned]

in recent years, there's been a push in therapeutic circles to shift the language from "attention-seeking" to "connection-seeking" behavior.

i was an attention-seeker. i was the textbook example of an attention-seeker. i was a troublemaker. i would self-harm. i destroyed my own relationships. i was uncontrolled, dramatic, sensitive. i took everything personally. i had "nothing" to be depressed "about," but made a big show of how sad i was nonetheless. i was really unsafe about myself in a lot of ways.

the strange thing about that is: it meant others could ignore me. the prevailing wisdom behind knowing something is "attention seeking" is to say: well, since you want it that bad, you're not getting any. it meant i was lower-on-the-list of concern. it meant an eye-roll.

the belief was that: since i was obviously doing these things on purpose, it would be bad behavioral training if i was "rewarded" for it. it would "teach me" that i simply had to make enough fuss, and i'd finally get all that missing attention and love. no, it was better to ignore that stuff.

i was suffering. and it felt like - oh, it doesn't matter how loudly i am in pain, nobody gives a shit about if i'm living or dying.

awhile ago, i went through my journals from that time. a lot of them read the same thing. in them, i am convinced i am invisible. that nobody wants to hear me, to see me. that i could die or vanish and nobody would even notice. i didn't even want attention - not really - because it was always dismissive, mocking. nothing i ever did would be good enough to get someone to actually-worry about me.

that's a terrifying thing for me to read as an adult. that is a child who fully has no problem committing. that is a child who has no concept of feeling loved. the most basic human instinct is missing from her life.

i needed help. i didn't know how to ask for it. i was a kid. i was a kid in a bad home, and whenever i thought things couldn't get worse there - they almost always did.

and the ways i showed that - the ways i tried to deal with that - they made others dismiss me. i wasn't suffering prettily. after all, if i was really in trouble, why wouldn't i just march into the first counselor's office and ask someone to help me? i had the opportunities, right? what did i think would happen, exactly? that someone would finally stand up and do something? who even wants that kind of responsibility?

i heard connection-seeking for the first time about three months ago. my therapist mentioned it when we were talking about my history. it rang some kind of horrible bell, deep inside me. i don't know what she said in the rest of her sentence. i just started... crying.

"oh no", i said to her. "i think i just realized: i have no idea how to forgive them for minimizing the ways i was hurting."

how many other kids, though. how many other kids were out there drowning, snatching around for a lifevest, some kind of rope - how many were straight-up ignored.

how many of those kids aren't gonna get old.

#the thing i teach my preschoolers is #if something bad happens to u #and it hurts you #tell someone #and KEEP TELLING SOMEONE #UNTIL SOMEONE BELIEVES YOU #it is NEVER your fault for telling the truth #it is THEIR fault for not hearing you #if you are like me and ''attention seeking'' #please #if u can #GET HELP. GET THE HELP YOU NEED. #at some point we all have to do this on our own #it has to be our own personal work #but you DESERVE someone who will help you to do that work #a therapist a teacher a doctor whomever #YOU DESERVE HELP. #you deserve connection #and i love you #suicide implied #tw self harm

[fairyhaos]

bro do u know who's an idol that i wanna gatekeep soooo bad? dokyeom. like this is a man who's so crazy talented that he's lead vocal of a hugeee group, belts high notes Just For Fun, is moodmaker, energizer, sunshine of the group, cute and funny and adorable and sexy buff all at once and is ALSO the leader of the incredibly successful bss on the side?? he's been in a musical, TWICE (bc he was so good that they called him in to reprise the show), and no matter how much he struggles he literally never fails to have the hugest smile on his face. he's caring and gentle and loud and bubbly and he's so fucking GORGEOUS. like it's actually insane how beautiful he is. people don't appreciate him enough and i think that this is a sign that we start gatekeeping him bc if lee dokyeom is gonna be treated with anything other than kindness and love, then others don't deserve to know about him at all.

#yena talks #ramble post #dokyeom.svt #came home with many deekay feels today bc i saw is wv post and it made me flip #im so serious when i say that he needs to be gatekept because hes literally so precious #he's someone who deserves to be only loved because of the sheer akount of love he gives out to the rest of ghe world no matter what #and if you cant treat him with that same care and respect then you dont deserve to fucking know him #dk #dokyeom #svt #seventeen

[jkvjimin]

KIM SEOKJIN + music videos ↳ happy birthday, kayla! @cordiallyfuturedwight 🤍🌼

(beautiful background art made by @kithtaehyung)

#kim seokjin #seokjin #jin #bts #btsedit #seokjinedit #gif #userdimple #userkelli #usersky #annietrack #raplineuser #rjshope #tuserandi #useremmeline #usermaggie #dailybts #userbangtan #underbetelgeuse #hi kayla!!!! this is nothing compared to what you deserves but i hope this brings a smile to your pretty face #firstly i want to wish you the happiest of the bdays i've found in you someone who truly brings me comfort and happiness #u since day 1 was the most adorable and lovable person with me #forever grateful to bangtan to bring me someone like you into my life #you deserves nothing but the best because YOU ARE the best #i love you to the jin (moon) and back 🤍 the prettiest daisy of my flower field 🌼 #the amount of times i've listened to awake while making this was crazy #i'm so glad to have you in my lifeeeeeee aaaa #what a lovely day the 24th april #this is prob not in the correct timezone but i'm going to celebrate your day in any time 🥳 #*smooching you*

[canisalbus]

I really appriciate how often Machete is depicted struggling and feeling like a burden, while still being loved and supported by Vasco. It gives the top tier angst of "i'm not good enough, I'm not worth it" but you frame it in such a way where it's clear that's just how he *feels* and is not how things really are, but also it's so nice to see someone who struggles quite often in a loving and unique relationship that suits them. The narrative of not being able to love or be loved unless you're consistently healthy is really tiring lol.

.

#ah thank you! I'm so glad these themes come through the way I intended #this touches on something that I've been thinking a lot so sorry if this gets a bit ranty #but I have massive personal beef with the sentiment “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else/someone else can love you ” #I hate it with a passion #I know it's meant to encourage positive growth and I get that self-love and healthy self-image are something you should strive for #but it also sort of sends the message that people who struggle with these sort of issues don't deserve to be loved #not until they reach some external invisible standard of “okay I'm normal and well adjusted now” #“perhaps now I'm worthy of entering a relationship without the danger of dragging the other person down with me” #people who aren't in perfect health mentally or physically already feel like they're inconveniencing others with their mere existence #depriving them of the possibility or even the idea of loving and being loved won't make them better #it's just a stupid idiom it doesn't matter but to me it just comes across as unspeakably cruel way to think #and it rustles my jimmies #answered #anonymous

[zillychu]

I feel like what the world needs aren't messages like "do your best and all your dreams will come true!" but rather "no matter your success, you can still be happy!"

we need more media telling us it's okay to fail. that most of us fail. that trying your best and not succeeding doesn't mean you effort was wasted. that you don't need to always try your best for everything. do what you can, when you can, and realize that no matter how things turn out, you can still find a way to be happy day to day. dreams come and go, it's okay to miss your catch and watch them pass by or change into something else entirely.

life is always full of opportunities to be happy!

#this post brought to you by someone who became disabled in their teens #and watched their dreams crumble the harder they tried to cling to them #took me a long time to realize how much i mourned a ship that sailed #while i ignored the sand and shells at my feet #I'm making sand castles now! #i wish i had started making them sooner #they're not what i wished for when i was young #but they're lovely and bring me such joy #we all deserve to notice the sand and shells now and enjoy making sand castles

[tardxsblues]

Doctor Who | 8.11 Dark Water

#look someone said in the tags of one of my posts that this clip made them feral or something #i can't find it now #so if that was you then this gifset is dedicated to you #i also love the whole 'i'm exactly what you deserve' #it's another piece of the doctorification of clara #she tried to manipulate him in a way the doctor might do #but he knows her too well #they really do deserve each other with all of their toxicity and insanity #doctor who #dwedit #dwgifs #dw companions #twelve #twelfth doctor #clara oswald #twelveclara #whouffaldi #dws8 #episode: dark water #peter capaldi #jenna coleman #gif warning

[rooolt]

my thing with normals epilogue is that I think it comes from normal and sparrows like fundamental misunderstanding of each other. Like I think normal is unable to see sparrow as a full person past his parenting decisions, but I also think that sparrow doesn’t really understand the full extent of the effect his words had on normal and what it would’ve taken to rectify that. Like they’re both so caught up within themselves to fully understand the other and that’s so real and true to me.

#As someone who loves both normal and sparrow #I really like this ending #I like that it’s messy and I like that it’s unsatisfying and I like that it’s real #Sure we as an audience can maybe say “well sparrow doesn’t deserve that” #But if that was really your dad? If that was really what you went through? #Plus a whole other host of traumas and horrors on top of it #I think it would be very hard to reckon with #Especially as a young person #dndads #dungeons and daddies

[toffeecoco1]

Yue Qingyuan finds Shen Qingqiu objectively more pleasant to be around than before, but he doesn’t like it. Because deep down, he knows this isn’t the person he grew up with. And while he may be more tolerable, this… isn’t the man he’s in love with.

#qijiu #svsss #yue qingyuan #shen qingqiu #scum villain #the devastating ordeal of having to mourn someone who isn’t exactly gone #whose face is still in front of you #losing your feelings because the person you love isn’t there anymore. even though he’s right there #they make me ILL #he deserves to know the truth 😭

[napping-sapphic]

i love sapphic people so much we’re all so beautiful and deserve so much love i love you i love you i love you

#hiiii! #it is emotion time for me #listened to some of my favorite songs after midnight #im very emotional #i love you so much #i hate how many people interact with this blog #because i want to grab your faces and tell you how much i hope you’re happy #and how badly i hope you feel loved #i hope you read my posts and feel the love in them #it’s for you #i wrapped it up in all my silly little words and hit post l #and now i just get to live hoping someone could feel it #because i desperately hope they do #because you’re just like me and im just like you and we both deserve SO much from this world #@ future me u can delete this but i hope you’re still this in love with the world when u do #@ people who read all these tags srry it’s late and im having a cry sesh and a lot of emotions #pls ignore me

[comradekatara]

i read somewhere that, after the war, zuko at least hands hama over to the swt instead of keeping her in fire nation prisons 'till the end of her life. Which is nice, I think. But I'm also curious as to how that would work out.

Most notably: how do you think it'd go down if she were to meet Pakku? given they both have some sort of connection to kanna's life, the idea of them being forced to interact even once entertains me very much. like, old waterbending master pakku—white lotus member—who has grown up in a patriarchal society and actively forbidden women from training to fight, under the precedent they are somehow ontologically weaker, fragile, and belonging in the healing huts... THAT guy, meeting his former fiancé's old friend: (or current wife's if you go by canon, which, eugh) A woman who not only fought in the front lines but ended up becoming one of the most skilled, creative, and deadly waterbenders in history. How would he react when finding out that a woman came up with blood bending? How badly would Hama mind-fuck him?? Because I'm confident they'd hate each other's guts-- no way she'd tolerate him,,,

And on a similar note—how would Kanna feel upon reuniting wirh Hama and discovering what she put Katata through, in your opinion? Idk, I'm just full of puppetmaster thoughts today. Hama is incredibly interesting and I wish she wasn't handled so much like a Halloween Specisl creepy witch, (even though katara herself is handled and written pretty well in this episode, i think. but i digress.)

i mean obviously i think about this all the time. i personally think that zuko hands hama over to the swt upon katara's request, and she and aang personally deliver her on appa (sokka is not there, for the very deliberate reason that if he knew what they were doing he would very vocally disapprove). and so katara is sort of retraumatizing herself by doing this, but she also feels like it's necessary specifically because she needs to be able to look hama in the eye and tell her why they're not actually the same (especially now that she actually did bloodbend someone in cold blood). katara has the love and support and safety to step back from her anger and her pain and her grief and hang onto her own humanity and allow herself to be the bigger person even in moments of abject rage and acute trauma, and hama doesn't. hama is a victim of her circumstance, and that's part of what makes her so uniquely terrifying to katara, because katara has that same capacity to make people hurt, she has the same tools at her disposal, and she has the same justifications to exercise that power. but unlike hama, she hasn't actually been pushed past her limits. sometimes she can see the cliff's edge, and sometime she even teeters on the line, but hama was fully just shoved off without a parachute, and that's really what separates them above all. i think katara should be allowed to acknowledge that and forgive herself for that, even if hama doesn't directly apologize to her (although in my mind she does, and it's not enough, but it's also so much more than katara ever expected to hear). even if it is too late for hama, katara deserves to heal.

frankly, i don't really give a shit about pakku or his reaction to hama. i also don't actually think that he thinks woman are ontologically incapable of being talented waterbenders of whatever; he's a pretty worldly guy, the reason he clings to these traditions isn't born of the belief that they're grounded in logical evidence like sokka's is, it's because he believes in the preservation of a system that benefits and valorizes him. pakku thinks katara belongs in the healing huts because he comes from a culture that dictates that women belong in the healing huts. like, he might also subscribe to the bioessentialist logic that women are better healers and men are being fighters, but that honestly doesn't really matter, because (unlike sokka) his epiphany lies not in the fact that woman can fight, but in the fact that his role in upholding these systems has actively driven his loved ones away due to his cruelty. he decides to be kinder, to women and in general, because he realizes that being an asshole has negative consequences. but frankly, who cares what he thinks of hama. realizing that your sister tribe in the south deserves aid and protection after being subjected to a century of genocide is kind of too little too late imo. unlike katara, sokka, aang, or kanna, who can approach this situation from the perspective of being a genocide survivor who even remotely understands hama's trauma, pakku really has no place in this conversation to me.

as for kanna...... god. hama/kanna reunion is genuinely one of the most heart-wrenching concepts to me in all of atla. as a sidenote, hama/kanna fanfic goes so hard every time. there's a total of like 15 fanfics for them on ao3 (last i checked) but they're all sooooooo. fucking delicious. tide locked........... ugh. anyway. i cannot fathom kanna's reaction upon learning that her closest friend once upon a time is not only alive, but also a convicted felon, for crimes including but not limited to manipulating her granddaughter, violating her (and sokka's) bodily autonomy in cruel and perverse ways, and forcing her to participate in that mode of violence in a way that traumatized her forever. even if you don't read them as former lovers (although it is indubitably better that way) it's so gut-churning. kanna lost so many people over the course of her life, and to learn that one of them has returned but in the worst way possible must be mind-boggling and distinctly unreal. like how do you even process that. first, how do you process how much pain she must have went through to become the kind of person who is capable of doing this, and then, how do you process the knowledge that the person you once loved most in the world irreparably hurt the person you now love most in the world? obviously she would always prioritize katara's safety over anyone else's no matter what, but god. kanna has led such a fascinating and impossibly difficult life, and it's not over yet.

#kallianthi #asks #analysis #postwargaang #hama #katara #pakku #kanna #hamaxkanna #hama&katara #also i didn't mention it in the post itself bc i've talked about it before but yeah i very much agree that i wish hama had been framed #differently because i do feel like making her into a cackling witch kind of undermines the whole point of the episode #she's someone who is deserving of our empathy and understanding despite her violence and by reducing her into a caricature #we lose that nuance #but otherwise it's such a fascinating episode.... #kataraaa.... katara i love you katara <33333

[andorerso]

always thinking about Jyn choosing to die with Cassian despite not being critically injured instead of like… trying to find a way to survive. after like a few days of knowing him? their codependency is insane. idk what they'd be like if they actually had the chance to know and love each other, but I just know they wouldn't wanna live without each other

#and it's funny because i see people sometimes say that jyn would handle his death better or whatever #and i respectfully but very strongly disagree #the girl who was abandoned by everyone? who had everyone she loved die? you'd think she'd handle it better? nah #they're equally unhinged about each other and they would equally be destroyed #and you know what? i love it #they both deserve to be loved that much by someone #me at 3am unable to sleep #im kinda writing a fic about this actually #shut up sissi #rebelcaptain

[ssaseaprince]

I'm going to say something controversial that I hate, but is completely true.

Will and Abigail barely knew each other. Their relationship was born solely out of a trauma bond, not any kind of love or substance. The obsession Will has towards her does not correlate with how weak of relationship they actually have. If Abigail saw anyone as a father figure, it would've been Hannibal because she barely knew Will. Will loved Abigail because she was such an important tool in his becoming. He didn't love her because he loved how passionate she was about dance, or how smart she was, how amazing her humour was, or how witty and sarcastic she was, or any of the things that made her who she was. He loved her for her darkness, and that's all he knew about her. Will's level of obsession with her did not match the depth of their relationship, and he did not love Abigail for the girl that she was, he loved her as a killer that complimented his own darkness. And I think it's sad that nobody ever truly loved Abigail for who she was fully.

#I love the murder family and I wished it worked out so don't get me wrong #And I love Will as a father to Abigail #It's just that if you really step back Will's obsession with her is so extreme #And I understand why he's like that but it still is out of proportion #Abigail deserved someone who loved her for who she was and didn't see her as a tool #hannibal #nbc hannibal #will graham #hannibal nbc #abigail hobbs #kacey rohl #hugh dancy #murder family #hannibal meta #idk if she danced but it was just an example

[thebroccolination]

As someone who has never been interested in vampires, I am extremely excited for BounPrem's vampire series.

It's partially because I love BounPrem, sure, but it's mostly because I respect the amount of very professional research and preparation Boun has committed to the role over the past several years.

I just think his artistry should be honored by my diligent attention.

Boun is a professional vampire fetishist, and that man will neck like no man has ever necked before.

#in fairness i did love first kill #give me back my soft vampire lesbian and her soft monster hunter girlfriend netflix you bastard #the other two thai bl vampire series airing this year will probably be enjoyable to the people who enjoy vampires as a genre #i just had no interest based on the teasers and the couples #i also trust bounprem to make it feel very very queer #whereas like #i do not trust the other two series to do that #the bp one is exciting because boun has been begging for a vampire series for years and i love when someone puts their soul into a thing #he's just been so cute and happy about it #and the fact that boun's passion project is part of what got prem's interest and motivation back is just #man #i so hope they just have a total blast with it because boun and i deserve it #bounprem #the vampire project #dear boun please give the series a real name please thank you please

[thebestusernamepossible]

‘We need more morally gray women’ you can’t even handle Ceroba from Undertale Yellow

#undertale #undertale yellow spoilers #undertale yellow #uty #you see when I was playing I saw the cutscene with kanaka and understood she was at her absolute low #and that she’s NOT. a bad person #(bad people isn’t someone I believe in anyway but you get my point ) #she’s grief stricken #and mentally unwell #also the fact we demonize her and not chujin?? #hello?? #nether of them are evil #but still #but I just a saw a playthrough with the most dogs hit take #dogshit take #that ‘I’ll mercy her because she doesn’t deserve death she’s too evil’ #fuck that!! #and I just KNOW if she was a man who had lost his wife and daughter that way she would NOT get that much hate (and she would be more popular #but I’m not picking that fight) #anyway yeah I love morally gray women #and y’all are the same people who couldn’t handle the Steven universe women #and also Alphys #she has so many haters but she’s genuinely one of the most interesting in teh game #fandom misogyny #I love fandom but my god I just KNOW half of my favourite women would not get this hate if they were a man

[sunnyside-sunset]

i am a sunny defender until the day i die; that is my shining star, my little baby girl who deserves the world. but dear god. some of the people “defending” sunny by only dragging leo to hell and back without making any attempt to understand leos character are going to be the death of me……

qsmp fandom i love you all but a select few of you get on my nerves sometimes </3 but hey at least on here it isnt as bad as twitter

#qsmp #qsmp sunny #qsmp leo #qsmp leonarda #leonarda my baby i may love sunny more but you deserve so much more than youre getting #qsmp fandom try not to forget about leo or misunderstand her character challenge #i love you qsmp fandom i really do #but sometimes peoples takes on the girl characters can be so……. #btw this is not an excuse for people to turn this into ‘yeah leo is so much better than sunny’ #‘people need to stop babying sunny and realise that someone needs to put her in her place’ or whatever #let my girls have complex emotions and make bad decisions #theyre kids!!!! just let the girls be girls!!! trust the admins and ccs to know what theyre doing!!!! #cough cough sidenote maybe also give tallulah some slack cough cough #cough shes also going through a lot and isnt constantly out to get sunny cough #cough and shes more than just a character thats angsty and gas daddy issues all the time cough cough #woah who said that thats crazy #that was an insane coughing fit i just had sorry guys