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#you can still come home you know this
randys-ranch · 29 days
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damnnnn i miss my friend lol ahaha *kills self
Im not exactly happy about Gyro. I was a really lonely kid prior to 2020, i had like one friend and being part of Fersona earnestly changed my life, Gyro was one of my longest friendships, i loved this person, but to defend their participation in fetishizing child abuse and other such materials would just go against my morals, i'd really just like to see them reflect and get better, i didnt really want to leave but what fucking choice did i have if it was posting joyously about "t4t incest" or writing about a demented, lobotomized, transgender woman raping a child after school hours. Just why did you have to do this? this isnt how you cope, this isnt normal or healthy and it feels like self harm so why would you go ahead and say all these things. i dont wanna assume but yknow.yknowww it feels like Mallory coaxed them into it, entering a relationship with Mallory only to randomly one day get exposed for getting off to actual child abuse feels weirdly connected. but these were the people i'd suspect last of such a thing. i was raised on drama content, on callouts and whole essays dissecting how a child predator or a fido fucker was exposed and their descent into madness. i try to be normal, i try to have that voice in the back of my mind at all times. and yknow. i do struggle with weird things too, i did so at their age, i wouldnt say i was groomed, but i was influenced, i was influeneced and conditioned and i knew it was bad but i was told it wasnt bad as long as a very flimsy condition could be met and im seeing that in Gyro, someone their age takes their hand, pats it, and says "hey...its weird to be a freak" and you say "yeah! yeah! i know that! i advocate for freaks!" but at some point its not being a freak, its being a danger to yourself, its a slippery slope into something very very bad. i know you cant exactly control this sorta feeling i know this is a mental illness i know you have to get treated for paraphilias but for fucks sake you dont need to indulge it, when you have an urge to self harm you might self harm, or you might try to not self harm, you might find ways to hurt yourself without saying its self harm. as long as its not strictly "knife to wrist" you cant call it self harm right? like beating your legs until theyre purple or slamming your head against the wall or scratching yourself or bumming cigs or actually fucking slicing up for vulva for no fucking reason or trying to get yeast on purpose and then years later it happens okay WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT. i miss my friend, they were my friend, i know we stopped talking as much, it hurt, i wanted to talk more, to both of them, but maybe its good i didnt get too attached.
fuck 4th of july
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introspectivememories · 3 months
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nah because crofty is genuinely insane because why would you say that about your coworker???? and to his face??? "this man knows lewis hamilton. friends, teammates, childhood buddies, rivals, everything but a lover." hello???? why are you saying that to nico rosberg's face???? why are you, as the lead f1 commentator, writing fanfiction about your coworker???? about him and his ex???? and also, what an insane thing to say about someone else's relationship!!! "everything but a lover"... just show them having gay sex onscreen, it would be less intimate than whatever the hell you just said.
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senseearly · 24 days
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For a moment, imagine yourself in Mithrun's brother shoes.
Your brother - stronger, prettier, more charismatic, but also distrustful and disdainful of everyone especially you - is to be sent to the Canaries. It is the rule, it is the duty of all noble houses. But you know what goes on there, Mithrun knows what happens there. Yet you see him off, bidding a temporary farewell as you do, because someone from the House has to go and it won't be definitely you. Mithrun knows this, you know this. And you wonder, very briefly, if Mithrun hates you now more than he does already.
Your brother - powerful, agile, a good soldier just as he is as an heir, if he could only be an heir - suddenly disappears. The unit he belonged to suddenly disappeared. And you're speechless because - how? why? No one wants to answer you; they will instead try to bring back a body, they promise to you. But that is not what you want. You grieve for your brother. but your own family doesn't grieve with you. Wasn't Mithrun family too?
Then you found out: MIthrun is alive.
Your brother - now weak, despondent, his eyes always looking for something that is not here nor there - is to be sent home where people can take care of him. It is not your first choice, you want him home. But he is - sick. Not quite there. He needs someone who can look after him and you look at yourself - your gait, your constitution - and you know it can't be you. So, you follow the advice of your family and pour out all your resources to find him the best of healers and caretakers. You ask yourself, almost daily, if Mithrun would ever return to who he once was.
Your brother - strong, pretty, uninterested of anything and anyone else aside from what he calls 'the demon' - is now better. He can walk on his own now, eats without throwing up on himself. The color on his skin is back and the scars of his injuries have faded into thick bumps and discolored skin. But he still isn't quite there; still needs help and probably will for the rest of his life. And you can live with that. You can provide that. Just as long as he comes home.
But doesn't. Your brother - now a husk of his former self, and you hate thinking of him that way, but you can't help yourself, the Mithrun you knew is gone - runs straight back to the Canaries. His mission is not over, he says. He doesn't care how long it takes, he says. And you see him off, again, because someone from the House has to go and it still can't be you. Mithrun knows this, you know this, and you can't help but wish, very briefly, if things would've been different if you went instead of him.
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adeleine-everyday · 6 days
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day 102
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no sabo kid
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darubyprincx · 9 months
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to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)
#ray's tag#keys' art#undescribed#skeletons#ok to reblog#the skeleton model that i traced for this was provided by the incredible kiku @kikunai whom you can find right here on tumblr!#so uh. This is a piece about chronic fatigue although the original idea i had for it drifted a bit as soon as I started coloring the linear#(i really enjoy shading and lighting things and got a bit carried away here but i stand by my choice because this is my favorite thing#that i've ever drawn)#anyways. i often feel especially lately with school being back in season that my bones are leaden with this sort of. weariness. theyre heav#it weighs on our mental health and energy a lot and although there's a couple of reasons we have been given for it#that doesn't remove the fact that this is still a thing that affects us in a very real way day to day although we are good at masking it.#often i come home to find that i do not have the physical mental or creative energy to work on things i really want to#especially project: nexus which i feel extra bad about even though i can't help it because i just started it so recently#it is a mild to moderate struggle to make it day to day and i just. wanted to represent this somehow#my original concept for this was a skeleton with some black goop gunk whatever leaking from its joints#but as i started adding the cracks and coloring them gold (a personal touch; kintsugi is a concept that is very dear to us)#i realized that the focus here was less on the condition itself and more on the body that it afflicts.#so i put it into a spotlight.#ironic i know since very little people acknowledge this irl or even know it exists at all but i added rim lighting. I added color gradients#I colored the lineart and made it all fancy and even added a flare for the head to get the point across that even at its core; disability i#a performance. this is not implying that disabilities are fake in fact this is the opposite of that. i wanted to show that with disabilitie#especially i think in my personal opinion the invisible ones#we are all masking at least a little bit during the vast majority of the day. humans are social creatures and it is only when we are alone#or with someone we deeply trust where we allow ourselves to be who we truly are without fear and even then that can be rare#so i wanted to show this bit of the soul in as broad a limelight as i could. idk this is a really abstract piece and i dont know if anyone#will even get it but it matters to me at least. and even though we've been largely bedridden for the past week i think that's okay#we will get it figured out. all of us. okay? okay. i love you. i fucking love you. we are going to fucking make it#(also the xes over the eyes are because i thought they looked cool they have no deeper meaning at least i think they dont#actually i think they do but i cant put it into words idk. Art is subjective assign your own meaning i'm gonna go get a shower)
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swordmaid · 4 days
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i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…
#the whole setting is jb hanging out in the rock post war#and tyrion became lord of the westerlands / the rock is his but he’s off doing stuff in kingslanding and jaime is just filling in for him#atm . but after tyrion comes back his original plan WAS he’ll get married to brienne right away and they can move back to tarth or be#travelling hedge knights together or whatever brienne wants to do he’s down for it. but the important thing is that he wants to stay with#her .. so he’s using the time they have together currently to court her bc she deserves that at least !!#so jaime goes off trying to court and woo brienne but she just thinks they’re hanging out bc they got relatively close in the war#so jaime being touchy feely isn’t anything new. jaime making innuendos and being kinda flirty isn’t anything new either#but this time he means it LOL he’s like I want to kiss you SO badly and brienne will be like lol silly jaime (:#I was also thinking they’d help rebuild lannisport just bc it’s a time for healing now and it would be good for the people to get to know#jaime and the lannisters in general bc of how they would just used to sit high above the rock looking down on everyone#but now jaime is like. actively helping and being known and being with the people rather than just being that absent distant lord#also he’s thinking he might as well try and foster some relationship with the commoners to his house bc it’s for tyrion anyway#so he’s off doing that and brienne is tagging along bc she does not want to go home yet#she wants to stay with him and she’s helping out as an excuse to stay a little longer but she doesn’t exactly want to leave him#but how do you tell someone that and ignore the big glaring part that she’s actually in love with him and the fact that they both survived#the war is getting her hopeful???? u want her to admit that?? like a normal person??? no..!!#so she’s just staying and helping out bc a) it’s the sensible thing to do b) so she can bask on the sun that is Jaime Lannister#for like a few more days. weeks. maybe a month bc the weather is soooo bad in the stormlands rn 🙄😳#anyway jb hanging out! and everything is going well and good but jaime is now getting popular w the people and he’s also looking quite#rugged and handsome post war now that he’s thirty flirty and thriving and he also has a new scar across his lip that makes his#smirks even more ! rogueish … ! and he looks quite nice with the greying hair 👀 so now there’s gossips around him#not to mention he’s single too and I think if you were one of the heroes who helped win the war they’ll forget the kingslaying#man with no honor business so lo and behold brienne eavesdrops a group of ladies bc she’s a chismosa at heart and they’re talking about a#potential marriage for a lord lannister (!!!) and there’s going to be a big tourney held in Kingslanding for it (!!!)#and brienne remembers jaime mentioning the ought to go to Kingslanding in the next few weeks (!!!) and now she’s remembering jaime IS a#lord though not theee lord of the westerlands STILL a lord from one of the seven houses and he’s single and very eligible for marriage rn#and now she’s realising everything is returning back the way it was before the war where society rules matters and she has her own role as#now the evenstar bc rip selwyn and jaime has his own role too and the court is a whole different battlefield#one that she isn’t equipped in and even though she had found some new confidence in herself bc killing a bunch of ice invisible zombies#with your own magic sword will do that for you she doesn’t think (and she’s being objective not negative) she stands a chance in THAT
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i think the actual disconnect between nie mingjue and jin guangyao is that nie mingjue is dying and knows he's dying and has to stick so so so closely to his morals and virtues or else it'll have been for nothing and then he'll have to come to terms with the fact that maybe he didn't actually have to die after all vs jin guangyao who wants to live, he wants to live and be safe and have all the things he was told he could never have-was told he was never good enough to have-and will do almost anything to make it so. and these are two like irreconcilable point of views right (and both Correct and Wrong at the same time) and so they can't understand each other because they aren't even having the same argument and neither of them can see that
#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#nieyao#it's good!!!#i think nmj never expected to survive the war against the wen too maybe so after he's both floundering and STILL dying#characters that didn't HAVE to die like that but did anyways because societal/family/narrative pressure etc >>>>>>>#⚰️#I've been told it's real sweet to grow old#i think there's also this disconnect between the two of them in the story as a whole re that steinberg quote i posted earlier about kleos#nostos (glory seeking vs home coming)#where jgy is the kleos or glory seeker and nmj SHOULD be the nostos (@#(and he IS to an extent) but also he ISNT because again he is dying-he knows hes dying you cant extract that from his character#and so there SHOULD be this conflict here from that but there just isnt because nmj isnt filling that role properly and i think that's part#of why jgy cant understand him#jgy is the kleos but nmj isnt a glory seeker (not outside of like the war and he's not doing that for glory etc) but he's also not nostos#he's theseus in the king must die#(sorry for referencing a bunch of shit in th tags pls pls pls ignore my rambling to myself about characters that are barely ever on page/#screen and so we can never actually fully contextualize them because we dont actually know them but oh boy oh boy can we try)#so like what does a guy who will (allegedly) give up anyone and anything domestic to gain/retain status do against a guy who otherwise#would be the opposite and unwilling/unable to sacrifice anyone for these things do when said guy does neither 🤷‍♀️#mine
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heich0e · 3 months
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getting into a fight with roommate atsumu (who you definitely do NOT have feelings for) so one night you swap out his bed for a race car bed while he's out on a date
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timey-fandom-stuff · 3 months
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well, guess who lost control of my hands again and was compelled to scribble down designs for ANOTHER Deltarune AU? yeah. me. it doesn't really have a proper name yet so I've just been calling it Changeling AU for now, I'll figure that out later.
these would be the cast's dark world designs; they parallel early Deltarune concepts in which the lightners would turn into monsters in the dark world-- with a few medieval fantasy fae-flavored twists this time around. mortals become a variety of magical beasts in the fae's dark realm, with only 'Kris' strangely unaffected... aside from the hue shift and conspicuously pointed ears, that is.
the main 'Kris' of this AU isn't the only human in town. instead, they're ironically the only one in town who ISN'T human, though not even they know it yet. in reality they're a Changeling, a fae creature that was left as a 'gift' to replace a taken human child. they can do things, strange things. animals come to them in the night, and the cool touch of iron burns their skin. they're afraid of what they see in the mirror; human eyes don't gleam in the dark, and their teeth shouldn't be so sharp. so they hide their features, and they ignore the whispers of the townsfolk, and they keep their head down.
they made a mistake, a terrible one... and they need to set it right.
meanwhile, the human they replaced is still out there somewhere in the fae world, twisted by its curse into a cornered, desperate beast seeking any escape from the realm that has held them prisoner all their life. it's said that when the full moon casts deep shadows over the woods, you can still hear their anguished howls in the dark begging for the name that once was theirs. they can never leave the dark world without it. they'd do anything to get it back.
all they've ever really wanted was to find their way home.
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scattered-winter · 1 year
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there's something sooooooo heartbreaking about quests as a narrative piece. you set out on this journey to rescue someone or defeat a great evil and along the way you face hardship and horror and you grieve and fight and love and lose and then when it's all over you come home. everything is the same as when you left, but you're so irrevocably different that you no longer fit in the one place you used to be truly at peace. you're tired from your journey but you find no rest or recovery, only ghosts. and you almost wish for another quest, another dangerous mission, because at least then you know your purpose.
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invaliowat · 2 months
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I don’t often acknowledge the fact that Nick Bradshaw canonically died in Top Gun, BUT, if I were to do such a thing it would be like when I was thinking the other night (I know- dangerous) and I was like rip to Nick Bradshaw you woulda LOVED the 2008 classic movie Step Brothers.
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crystallizsch · 4 months
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silver eye appreciation post because look at em,,, aurora-colored eyes,,,
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softesttangerines · 7 months
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As someone who LOVES a good old time travel au, and after seeing amazing fanart of kid!Mihawk i have to let it out!!
I just wanna read a time travel fic where baby Mihawk wakes up and finds himself in the world of adult Mihawk and he's like wtf is going on?
And word goes around that a kid that looks exactly like Hawkeyes and carries the same cross knife as him is roaming around this island and rumors say it's the son he abandoned to fend for himself.
And so, marines and every pirates he ever wronged come after him for revenge and the little guy is just thinking why is everyone trying to get me? While doing his best with his cross dagger to rid of them.
And Shanks, good ol' shanks could have sworn that if his old rival had an 9years old, he would know about it (also he refuses to let the bitter taste in his heart take over unless his own eyes see) so he's skeptical about the whole thing and that's the only thing that gets him to leave his hideout in a reclused ghost island waiting for whatever is his big plan to take place.
News say Red Shanks is on the move after being mia for a few years and everyone got their panties in a twist, what could have raised the emperor from the dead.
He follows from island to island because apparently the young boy knows how to avoid the marines and pirates coming after him.
Till one night, on their stop at some bar on an island that wasn't really on the plan, he sees the boy. Just outside the bar in an alley, where he went to empty his guts from the booze overfilling his body, there stood bloody faced, cross dagger in one hand, a tiny version of his old rival with a bounty hunter's body at his feet.
The boy furrows his eyebrows even more at the new arrival and strikes another pose in case the new guy tries something funny. But Shanks, drunk ass Shanks, who knows his rival by heart is a 100% sure the little guy is in fact his rival for whatever magical reason, there he stands in front of him in the form of an 9years old and Shanks giggles at that -to which the child takes great offense- and just say "hey kid, i'm a friend of your dad's, want me to take you to him?"
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#mishanks#Ok so here I'm running with the fandom's theory that rayleigh is mihawk's dad#And after getting all these murder attempts on his person he's just so fckn tired of anyone that approaches him So he's completely on guard#when this red haired dude comes out of nowhere n tells him he knows his dad#Which no one did before all they did was charge at him screaming HAWKEYES YOU'RE GONNA REGRET WHAT YOU DID#And here's the thing#he may be inclined to believe the red haired guy because no one knows his relation to rayleigh#so this guy must really know his dad and he's tired of running all the time he just wants his bed and parents#so cut him some slack when he follows a random one armed red haired pirate#On the other hand the crew is equally creeped out and charmed by the little fella because even young he still installs the chills in them#How can he be as equally as skilled as he is cuuuuute#They try their best not to say it to his face because he threatens to stab them at any given chance but they cant HELP IT#it's Dracule Fucking Mihawk as an 9years old!!!! Ofc he's cute#Shanks cant fucking wait to get his adult Mihawk back to tease the shit out of him about the little version of him lol#When they got him to rayleigh he fckn cried because that's his fckn son znd the last time he saw hus baby that way was more than 30years ag#Mihawk is just confused as fuck why is his dad's grey n have much more wrinklesBut it's still one familiar face so he just sticks to him#The red haired pirate keeps telling him that he should look for him when he gets home but he doesn't understand!!!#He also keeps challenging shanks on a duel once he discovers he's a swordsman and keeps on losing#And truth be told shanks is embarrassed as fuck because it took him his rival being a child for him to win over mihawk#opla#one piece#mihawk#dracule mihawk#red haired shanks#shanks
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sysig · 8 months
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He was a human pirate, which you wouldn’t think you’d have to specify and yet (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#ZEX#The Captain#This isn't even a sci-fi pirate adventure anymore this is just straight up human pirates lol#How many layers deep can we go until it's unrecognizable! Next up is Pirate AU!Helix! (Kidding. For now) Lol#There is something funny about it all to me as well considering how in-line it fits with the research I was doing for a Vargas fic concept#All these bodice-rippers coming home to roost lol ♪#Which is also interesting 'cause I hadn't thought about this particular fic from that perspective before but it also fits! It works well!#Yet another angle to approach it from on a reread haha ♫#ANYway lol - human!Pirate!SCII specifically finally lol#I do love just how openly attracted the Captain is to ZEX as a human haha - his attraction/disgust to VUX-ZEX is wonderful of course#It's just so silly and cute how honest he is when ZEX is in a body that he's aesthetically attracted to haha#And ZEX recognizing and utilizing that! But it still not quite tipping him over to being completely sold on the whole kidnapping thing lol#''I don't understand it! I look beautiful and I /know/ he's attracted to me! What could be stopping him from sleeping with me???" lol#Keep trying ZEX I'm sure you'll get it at some point haha#Finishing off with an idea of ZEX having to deal with a hostile and still not quite trusting the Captain not to run away#Or risk him getting hurt! ZEX can handle this! Let him protect you!#But the Captain also wants to help! And/or escape y'know whatever's most convenient haha#He's proud <3 And he does have an affinity with ZEX at this point - he knows he can be useful! But that's not what's most important to ZEX#Also being scolded and blushing a bit hehe ♪ Given just a bit of pause to be told by such a pretty face to ''Behave'' ♫#I do really like ZEX with the coat and braids hehe <3 Handsome
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nyatbinary-81 · 1 day
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@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.
#my art#this is how I think theyd present themselves either in person or in headspace. the slouchers <3#sifs outfit is simple; the boots i always give them (but with star laces for funsies); loose sweater; simple pants#the pants are Meant to be jeans but isat doesnt Specifically Have Jeans so. theyre just Pants.#the sweater is slightly looser bc sif doesnt seem like a Form Fitting Clothes kinda guy to me but hes Trying to be more open#on particularly good days theyll roll the sleeves up or wear a sleeveless one methinks#even if everyone Knows abt the self-harm scars its hard to Look at them.#i also associate them being more open with them not wearing an eyepatch. esp bc hes the only one of the three to go without it#for mal (or 'ami' as i like to call it) i wanted smth reminiscent of a mourning outfit bc mal du pays means homesickness#and i picked 'ami' as a nickname bc ami means friend :] at least according to my basic translator. i dont speak french <3#ami's outfit being dark is also reminiscent of the inversion thing its got going on in canon.#ik the veil is starred in the original but i think ami would want the fewest reminders of home. on account of The Issues#(actually if i can come back to sifs laces sif also has issues with reminders of it bc of the memory loss but the shoelaces are His Choice—#—which gives them a form of control over it and they can keep it subtle or undo it if he wants. which makes it easier)#anyway. i put amis hair in an updo and smoothed the hat bc i think ami wants to be Unremarkable. Unknown. so it keeps its silhouette Simple#(it still keeps the pins. theres smth comforting abt them. they shine like stars and theyre not stars and theyre not Home. but theyre You.)#and i kept the long hair i gave loop. dont ask me why its so long when the canon hair is short. maybe their hair kept growing over the loop#OH and i drew ami in a side profile bc Silhouette and also bc i think itd make an effort to keep people away from its blind spot#andddd i think thats about it? plus i actually managed to keep this one within a reasonable timeframe.#if their hair changes lengths/the proportions change between drawings. no they dont 💛 peace and love and body craft#OH AND YOU FINALLY GET TO SEE WHAT I MEAN ABT SIFS BOOTS BC THESE ARE THE BOOTS I GAVE THEM ON MY REGULAR DESIGN ARENT THEY NEAT#i did actually try to give sif a different font but nothing Works for them like the pixel font. i cant explain it.#i think 'ami' would be a nickname that mira gives it. bc. shes Fantasy French. and its a sort of 'youre more than your yearning/loss' thing#me every time i think abt sifstem: yeah they just rotate in my head. nothing major#me every time i talk abt sifstem: oh hey im almost at tag limit again#au Good what can i say
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bigothteddies · 8 days
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one of my dreams as a bright-eyed freshie noob nsfw tumblr user was to one day have my own place with tons of extra rooms and to have partners and kink friends rotating in an out of the house like all the old big kink creators used to on here, making content and gif sets with my friends and enjoying our sexuality together
#unimportant thoughts#doable still? maybe one day#I don’t know !#used to dream about it a lot#there used to be a big (since cancelled) creator that did a lot of stuff like that#creators would come and stay in his house for month(s) long vacations in between jobs and school#like could you imagine?#going and living with a creator you love for a summer?#getting to make content together snd have fun with no stress or pressure?#I don’t know maybe im alone in this!#BUT#I don’t know itd be nice!#i love the idea of being a Home#maybe not peoples permanent home#i csnt imagine being a lot of peoples healthy long time permanent partner lol#but yk its enough to be Somebody in peoples lives yk?#im happy to be someone who was right for you for a little while#be it a few months or a summer or a year or a few years#im happy with that#i want to end it on a high note and keep going as friends after#i want to still have occasional flings and catch up on each orhers lives all the time#i dont think i can be everyones forever#and itd be greedy to think i could be !#but i want to be someone people look back on fondly#that people say ‘he was a good influence in my life. i’m happy I was with him. he was the right person for me in a lot of ways’#i want to be someone people are proud of havin been involved with#i want those tumblr gifsets and relationship maps and talking about how x is moving out to go to grad school soon but we still love each#other and im proud of them for moving to the next stage in life#i want to be a revolving door thats always open!#but it only works if other people want it too! and if those people DO actually value me like tjat
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