damnnnn i miss my friend lol ahaha *kills self
Im not exactly happy about Gyro. I was a really lonely kid prior to 2020, i had like one friend and being part of Fersona earnestly changed my life, Gyro was one of my longest friendships, i loved this person, but to defend their participation in fetishizing child abuse and other such materials would just go against my morals, i'd really just like to see them reflect and get better, i didnt really want to leave but what fucking choice did i have if it was posting joyously about "t4t incest" or writing about a demented, lobotomized, transgender woman raping a child after school hours. Just why did you have to do this? this isnt how you cope, this isnt normal or healthy and it feels like self harm so why would you go ahead and say all these things. i dont wanna assume but yknow.yknowww it feels like Mallory coaxed them into it, entering a relationship with Mallory only to randomly one day get exposed for getting off to actual child abuse feels weirdly connected. but these were the people i'd suspect last of such a thing. i was raised on drama content, on callouts and whole essays dissecting how a child predator or a fido fucker was exposed and their descent into madness. i try to be normal, i try to have that voice in the back of my mind at all times. and yknow. i do struggle with weird things too, i did so at their age, i wouldnt say i was groomed, but i was influenced, i was influeneced and conditioned and i knew it was bad but i was told it wasnt bad as long as a very flimsy condition could be met and im seeing that in Gyro, someone their age takes their hand, pats it, and says "hey...its weird to be a freak" and you say "yeah! yeah! i know that! i advocate for freaks!" but at some point its not being a freak, its being a danger to yourself, its a slippery slope into something very very bad. i know you cant exactly control this sorta feeling i know this is a mental illness i know you have to get treated for paraphilias but for fucks sake you dont need to indulge it, when you have an urge to self harm you might self harm, or you might try to not self harm, you might find ways to hurt yourself without saying its self harm. as long as its not strictly "knife to wrist" you cant call it self harm right? like beating your legs until theyre purple or slamming your head against the wall or scratching yourself or bumming cigs or actually fucking slicing up for vulva for no fucking reason or trying to get yeast on purpose and then years later it happens okay WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT. i miss my friend, they were my friend, i know we stopped talking as much, it hurt, i wanted to talk more, to both of them, but maybe its good i didnt get too attached.
fuck 4th of july
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nah because crofty is genuinely insane because why would you say that about your coworker???? and to his face??? "this man knows lewis hamilton. friends, teammates, childhood buddies, rivals, everything but a lover." hello???? why are you saying that to nico rosberg's face???? why are you, as the lead f1 commentator, writing fanfiction about your coworker???? about him and his ex???? and also, what an insane thing to say about someone else's relationship!!! "everything but a lover"... just show them having gay sex onscreen, it would be less intimate than whatever the hell you just said.
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For a moment, imagine yourself in Mithrun's brother shoes.
Your brother - stronger, prettier, more charismatic, but also distrustful and disdainful of everyone especially you - is to be sent to the Canaries. It is the rule, it is the duty of all noble houses. But you know what goes on there, Mithrun knows what happens there. Yet you see him off, bidding a temporary farewell as you do, because someone from the House has to go and it won't be definitely you. Mithrun knows this, you know this. And you wonder, very briefly, if Mithrun hates you now more than he does already.
Your brother - powerful, agile, a good soldier just as he is as an heir, if he could only be an heir - suddenly disappears. The unit he belonged to suddenly disappeared. And you're speechless because - how? why? No one wants to answer you; they will instead try to bring back a body, they promise to you. But that is not what you want. You grieve for your brother. but your own family doesn't grieve with you. Wasn't Mithrun family too?
Then you found out: MIthrun is alive.
Your brother - now weak, despondent, his eyes always looking for something that is not here nor there - is to be sent home where people can take care of him. It is not your first choice, you want him home. But he is - sick. Not quite there. He needs someone who can look after him and you look at yourself - your gait, your constitution - and you know it can't be you. So, you follow the advice of your family and pour out all your resources to find him the best of healers and caretakers. You ask yourself, almost daily, if Mithrun would ever return to who he once was.
Your brother - strong, pretty, uninterested of anything and anyone else aside from what he calls 'the demon' - is now better. He can walk on his own now, eats without throwing up on himself. The color on his skin is back and the scars of his injuries have faded into thick bumps and discolored skin. But he still isn't quite there; still needs help and probably will for the rest of his life. And you can live with that. You can provide that. Just as long as he comes home.
But doesn't. Your brother - now a husk of his former self, and you hate thinking of him that way, but you can't help yourself, the Mithrun you knew is gone - runs straight back to the Canaries. His mission is not over, he says. He doesn't care how long it takes, he says. And you see him off, again, because someone from the House has to go and it still can't be you. Mithrun knows this, you know this, and you can't help but wish, very briefly, if things would've been different if you went instead of him.
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well, guess who lost control of my hands again and was compelled to scribble down designs for ANOTHER Deltarune AU? yeah. me. it doesn't really have a proper name yet so I've just been calling it Changeling AU for now, I'll figure that out later.
these would be the cast's dark world designs; they parallel early Deltarune concepts in which the lightners would turn into monsters in the dark world-- with a few medieval fantasy fae-flavored twists this time around. mortals become a variety of magical beasts in the fae's dark realm, with only 'Kris' strangely unaffected... aside from the hue shift and conspicuously pointed ears, that is.
the main 'Kris' of this AU isn't the only human in town. instead, they're ironically the only one in town who ISN'T human, though not even they know it yet. in reality they're a Changeling, a fae creature that was left as a 'gift' to replace a taken human child. they can do things, strange things. animals come to them in the night, and the cool touch of iron burns their skin. they're afraid of what they see in the mirror; human eyes don't gleam in the dark, and their teeth shouldn't be so sharp. so they hide their features, and they ignore the whispers of the townsfolk, and they keep their head down.
they made a mistake, a terrible one... and they need to set it right.
meanwhile, the human they replaced is still out there somewhere in the fae world, twisted by its curse into a cornered, desperate beast seeking any escape from the realm that has held them prisoner all their life. it's said that when the full moon casts deep shadows over the woods, you can still hear their anguished howls in the dark begging for the name that once was theirs. they can never leave the dark world without it. they'd do anything to get it back.
all they've ever really wanted was to find their way home.
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As someone who LOVES a good old time travel au, and after seeing amazing fanart of kid!Mihawk i have to let it out!!
I just wanna read a time travel fic where baby Mihawk wakes up and finds himself in the world of adult Mihawk and he's like wtf is going on?
And word goes around that a kid that looks exactly like Hawkeyes and carries the same cross knife as him is roaming around this island and rumors say it's the son he abandoned to fend for himself.
And so, marines and every pirates he ever wronged come after him for revenge and the little guy is just thinking why is everyone trying to get me? While doing his best with his cross dagger to rid of them.
And Shanks, good ol' shanks could have sworn that if his old rival had an 9years old, he would know about it (also he refuses to let the bitter taste in his heart take over unless his own eyes see) so he's skeptical about the whole thing and that's the only thing that gets him to leave his hideout in a reclused ghost island waiting for whatever is his big plan to take place.
News say Red Shanks is on the move after being mia for a few years and everyone got their panties in a twist, what could have raised the emperor from the dead.
He follows from island to island because apparently the young boy knows how to avoid the marines and pirates coming after him.
Till one night, on their stop at some bar on an island that wasn't really on the plan, he sees the boy. Just outside the bar in an alley, where he went to empty his guts from the booze overfilling his body, there stood bloody faced, cross dagger in one hand, a tiny version of his old rival with a bounty hunter's body at his feet.
The boy furrows his eyebrows even more at the new arrival and strikes another pose in case the new guy tries something funny. But Shanks, drunk ass Shanks, who knows his rival by heart is a 100% sure the little guy is in fact his rival for whatever magical reason, there he stands in front of him in the form of an 9years old and Shanks giggles at that -to which the child takes great offense- and just say "hey kid, i'm a friend of your dad's, want me to take you to him?"
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