#yeah....... killing it w my mind

[clericlost]

lately i’ve been feeling so much like. cheering clapping applause to be here with y’all but all the enthusiasm is stuck in a snowglobe that i can’t figure out how to break cause it’s made of fear pain agony because social anxiety every time i log on :/

#out. #negative // #it sucks to experience but honestly it sucks more than like. i know people are here to have fun and often write better when #they can actually get along w their writing partner? #and i hate that this Thing is just in the way of me and everyone else but idk how to get rid of it #it's just Paralyzing like i just get stuck and it feels impossible to shake myself out of it #and then i feel anxious about THAT lmao so. wondering if i need to just throw the towel in instead of doing this to my partners jdskfs #like i logically know it's not That big of a deal but i also know it can feel so discouraging to be excited abt smth and not feel it back #but it's not even the feeling it back that's the issue! it's just talking w people idk why my brain just flatlines over it but it's so bad #lately. when i'm in a good headspace i'm the exact same way and LOVE when i can iron down my interactions to ppl i just Enjoy being around #but when i'm in a bad headspace it's so hard to do anything other that hide in ic replies indefinteily #even with people i'm so so comfortable with cause it is very much a state of being that stems from Me not anyone else #idk. i just feel shitty for ghosting but then i feel too shitty to fix it :/ #wish i could psychically link w all of you so u could know how happy i am to write with you #idk why it's so hard to translate ooc one on one #idk why it's like there's an actual physical wall in my brain stopping me most of the time #social anxiety fucking sucks i guess lol #yeah....... killing it w my mind #i know it's probably just made worse by my recent caffiene addiction but it'll probably be a while before i can kick that shit so #idk if i should quit while i'm barely ahead or just. try to be okay with ic replies #but i Hate that cause it feels like such bad rp etiquette like. i don't wanna rp like that lol #but idk how else to while i'm like this :/ #which probably means i should take a break!! but i selfishly don't wanna lose more writing partners than i already have but then #i guess either way i might lose some people but at least if i took a break it'd feel like less shitty of a reason #ugh...... #too much to think about on a sunday afternoon

[nibeul]

my favorite theory rn is that hobie killed the cop captain that was a part of his "canon event".

#yeah it deviates from the “mold” but mind you so did Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man as well as Tom Holland's Spider-Man as far as we know #like u r not telling me mr blue laces punk anarchist hobie brown was buddy buddy w a cop #lace theory is mostly dead but blue feels like something that's always been widely accepted as 'killed a cop' #my guess is it was probably someone close to him who ultimately chose to side with a fascist state for power #across the spiderverse #atsv spoilers

[skitskatdacat63]

For everyone who wanted bullfighter Nando when I mentioned it the other day, here you go :D

+ this one I don't feel like coloring yet(imagine he's in Ferrari colors!!!)

#did you know bullfighters dedicate their kill to a friend or member of the public by giving them their hat? #i really wanted to draw silly vettonso where fernando offers seb his hat #seb retires from bullfighting(yeah its an au now) and fernando in his green costume is like; #'here is my hat. now will you come back from retirement? 🥺' #but yeah feel very abnormal abt that ^ and also the thing abt them having someone who helps them get into their costume as a sacred ritual #theres just a lot of thoughts and ideas floating around in my head bcs of it #anyways i liked drawing this but it was very suffering too and took me like 5 hours #its like. you see the intricate embroidery and im like ah! omg! i love painting details!!! #and then remember im not the best w coming up with ideas for the embroidery pattern itself #so pls bear with me 😭😭 mainly i was trying to reference the diamond logo of renault #but most of it kinda just ended up being austrian knots i guess bcs thats what my mind defaults to #i thought the shoulder pad would be the most difficult but that came together the easiest and made the rest actually work in my head #aaahhh also im surprised w the angle of his face! im usually not good at side profiles as well as tilted down heads #but i think he looks pretty good honestly??? #also w the sketch i just wanted to post it bcs i liked his face okay 😭😭😭 #i wanted to paint it too but I realized im so naive thinking i could paint two of these horrifically detailed things in one session #but his face 🥹🥹 i like it!!! theres some renault era pic of him i really like where hes sun drenched and angry looking #^ and i think i captured the vibe well so!!!!! #well anyways mayhe ill draw more of this. it was fun but also like sucked my life force out bcs it kept going from easy to 'I CANT DO THIS' #the pictures of matadors are just...insane to me. tiny waist fat ass flamboyant costume. im dead 🫠 #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #catie.art. #fa14 #matador au

[winkle-pickers]

somehow this party doesn't suck anymore (this one's 4 @wistfulclown my bestie in stubbornship 💙)

#i really think kaiba would struggle at parties #even in a situation where he reconciles w everyone #like hey my mind is constantly churning w paranoia and self loathing at literally all times #and remember that time i tried to kill you all #yeah thats a no to beer pong thanks #ANYWAYS lol #its been a hot minute since i had time to draw #so enjoy these dorks #kaiba seto #seto kaiba #honda hiroto #ygo #art tag #stubbornshipping

[distraughtlesbian]

literally the best part of this whole stupid book iwlove weird obsessed horndogs thee villain archetype of all time. he’s so silly. “we could’ve had a life together”, he says to his lesbian ex-neighbour who he’s just shot with a crossbow bolt meanwhile her girlfriend who he’s also just shot is half dead across the room. god i love it here he said me and the bad bitch im going to fumble

#WHAT A FUCKING FREAK IJBOL!!!!!! #MORE PSYCHOSEXUALLY OBSESSED WEIRDO VILLAINS PIXELBERRY I KNOW YOU HAVE IT IN U. #their villains are usually so cringe and one note at least this one is memorable #mind you this could have used more buildup. up until like chapter 19 he still had the benefit of the doubt #his ass was NOT beating the twist villain allegations but the fucking freak allegations were a whole separate beast #and he could be presumed innocent in those. like sure i guess these are just average fanatic werewolf hunter antics. #like EYE had my suspicions. him sending that frat bro to sexually harass mc was a fucking freak move #but like in general he was coming off as someone who was just a normal amount of concerned about a friend of theirs falling in w a cult #like girl why am i following my cringe fwb into the pool house to be all ‘babe this isnt u :(’ #i dont CARE i wanna go engage with the twist antagonist who at this point my mc still thinks is kind of normal/their friend!!! #but alas that’s just pb for you. we WILL NOT stick a landing ever. they make all the new writers swear to never write a villain that makes #sense or is well foreshadowed. ONLY side characters who you would never suspect bc they have like 5 lines in the whole book. #like you’ll never be duffy veilofsecrets you’ll never recapture that magic. #anyway. markus choicesalpha the fucking weirdo cringefail stalker incel loser you could have been…kermit looking out rainy window dot png #maeve speaks #playchoices #choices #pixelberry #choices alpha #channing lowe #markus barnes #side note this whole thing probably has a Much different vibe with a male mc #but as it is it’s like ijbol. channing is cringe and emotionally unavailable but how could you POSSIBLY compare to a buff werewolf bitch #he is so completely not a contender that its comedic to me. you think WE could have had a LIFE TOGETHER? #even if my mc had never ever met channing SHE IS A LESBIAN!!!! SHES GAY DUDE STOP IT LOL #and with a female mc and male channing its like yeah whatever average incel number 10 billion. wow youre going to kill me bc some other guy #is hotter than you? eyeroll. at least channing canonically gives great head.

[midigated]

I'm probably in the minority with this but I wish the first 3 arcs of Sailor Moon Crystal were a two-part movie series (like they did with Eternal and Cosmos.).

This will probably make the Crystal fans seethe at the mouth bc God forbid anyone has an opinion different from them. But we probably would've avoided a lot of the embarrassing poor animation choices had they turned the material into two-part movies for each arc. They'd have more time to focus on the good bits that moved the story along. They'd have more time to also focus on the animation quality of the movies.

Maybe, as a result, they could've spent more time honing their character designs versus getting better after three FULL seasons of SMC.

Sorry not sorry, the designs in Eternal and Cosmos are way better than the poor attempts to copy Naoko's style that plagued the first 3 seasons of SMC.

#yeah i said it. i think the infinity arcs character design sucked balls #before anyone goes ugh youre a 90s fan ... all i have to say is: and? so what? i like versions of sailor moon and will criticize all of them #nothing is above criticism you dinguses #the musicals? the bandai ones are a YMMV in quality. the later ones are good but sometimes the songs suck. #manga? inconsistent artwork but i actually like that about the manga tbh - gave it a lot of 'action' in its line work. but 1d baddies #90s anime? theres a lot of filler. some of the filler is good. others are BORING. series does not grow w/ audience after 3rd season. #90s anime pt.2? the aging up of mamoru and him having a relationship with rei. ew ew ew. they ruined mamoru for me lol #pgsm? nothing. its perfect. oh wait one criticism is that they only did the first arc. le sigh. woudve loved to had more #crystal? questionable designs. questionable additions that deviated from the manga. kept in some stuff that sucked about the manga #crystal pt.2? like keeping in haruka kissing usagi to uh intimidate her??? really fucking dumb and huge yikes. the first 3 seasons r boring. #crystal pt.3? which is funny bc its far more condensed vs the 90s anime but somehow manages to be just as boring as the 90s filler eps. #manga addition: i like the manga and i still prefer it over crystal any day of the week. #we good? good. now keep your reply in the drafts #incel + crystal = cryscel fans #btw this is true w/ dragon ball super. they decided to adapt the movies into the series and the series ended up having 🥚 #🥚very questionable animation choices that were fixed but still didnt look that great. like id rather watch the movies they came from. #because if im going to get disappointed that they didnt give vegeta the final strike on freiza - it may as well look good. #still mad about that. vegeta deserved so much more and no one will never change my mind #vegeta being denied from killing freiza was the same as denying venus landing the final blow Beryl. YOU KNOW IM RIGHT.

[nettleparade]

hi i made a tierlist of which one piece characters i think would go noodling for catfish

#one piece #op #opla #tierlist #note that this is based purely in which characters i know like. exist. there's way too many of these bastards. also it's based in vibes ONL #IMPORTANT NOTES: yamato's in the high noodling enthusiast tier because in my heart he talks like matty matheson #in my mind's eye i can hear him saying 'yeah we're just a couple of big dogs hangin out in the pond' while neck deep in a catfish burrow #idk if luffy would actually be a good fit for noodling considering he'd just. stretch #same w buggy if his arm disconnected he is NOT getting that thing back. #like he could THEORETICALLY be in the noodling god tier but he's also a wet noodle himself so idk if buggy would survive. sorry bud #also i was hesitant on where to rank sanji since he obvs values his hands and stuff #but then i saw that one cover of him popping out of the water w an eel in his hands and realized he'd do literally anything for fresh food #though risking life and limb for catfish would only be in dire situations for him i think #additionally i forgot helmeppo existed at all but yeah that thing would absolutely kill him #anyways i already posted this thing on twt but just so we're all clear. i made this for jack. hi jack :3

[cinna-bunnie]

love when u play a game and see some recurring themes in the negative reviews, then u actually play it yourself and know that people just aren't used to that kind of game or had preconceptions that just weren't correct.

#I'm playing a metroidvania that i think was tagged as souls-like too. and i see how both classifications tie into it. #and being someone who thoroughly enjoys and is used to both genres - and is coming from a ds3 replay #i picked up the parry timing IMMEDIATELY and think it's super fun. #i feel like the reviews r ppl who r used to metroidvanias wanting more healing items laying around and ppl who r used to souls games #not being used to having the platforming/traversal aspects incorporated into combat. but I'm sorta seeing #aspects from both games that I'd expect (or even want!) and idk it's just a lot of fun so far :3 #i got rly sucked into playing Grime on my lunch and it's very fresh on my mind (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) I'm excited to play more later #regarding the lack of healing abilities or loot though like they literally DO give u healing right off the bat u just gotta learn the #parry mechanic! if u time it right u can absorb an enemy (or part of it if it's a boss) and once this meter is filled u can regen health. #so it kinda encourages u to go fight and absorb things instead of just outright killing everything w melee/projectiles #there r ppl who claim to be fans of the genres too but yeah i just do not feel the same sry to y'all. #i think part of it too is this greater issue with art where‚ in my observation‚ people don't rly like going into things w no #expectations or preconceptions. also calling things bad for not being perfect even though they never tried to be there's just a #specific story they wanted to tell or experience they wanted to share and did that well. #the latter really bugs me (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠) and falls under the “u can say u didn't like it without it being Bad” umbrella. like it's fine to #just Not Like Something while still acknowledging it does what it set out to do.

[autoneurotic]

fuck you guys fuck everyone i’m employee of the month

#i work. fuckcjdbbdfnfj i work like fucking. at MOST. 8 days out of a month #this is so funny. #but also :) #‘our best friend rowan’ /) #i always sign off with hi it’s your best friend rowan am i good to skadoot orrrr #oh and it’s pride month? fuck yeah baby #i wanna go back in time to Rowan w a job at any point in my life and be like #check it out. you have a job. you work the partest of part time hours #at an art store (you’re an artist now btw) and you LIKE IT #you don’t DREAD going in. you like your bosses n coworkers #you’ve never had bad customer interactions and if anything have had extraordinarily sweet and fun ones #this is like. mind blowing for me. unprecedented. i’ve been working since i was newly 16 #and only just got a job that literally does not make me want to kill myself #only took fifteen years !

[mainfaggot]

another shit fucking day but in the most casual way possible bc all i did was sulk study cry study sulk and finally, sulk in the shower. chai next and then bed . fuck my stupid baka life forrealsies

#i almost had an argument w my mother over nothing at one point bc i was so anxious about nothing and everything at once and well #i keep thinking. idk what im doing anything for anymore #like when we were arguing i was like wait what if she brings up how shes giving me a ride to uni multiple times this week #and then i was like wait if she says that. I'll just tell her not to. and then ill skip class. and then ill drop my classes and get a refund #and then ill drop out of uni. and then ill kill myself! #mind you i was thinking about all of this and the argument didnt even go in that direction in the end bc it was over very quickly #ljke. what ks wrong with me #i keep thinking that if my parents get pissed at me for being good for nothing despite me trying my hardest not to be #i really will end it all finally like Actually #bc i dont understand anymore. why are they paying for my stupid medication and tuition #theyre too nice to me #i know they expect me to send them money in their ideal imagined scenario in which i get a good job after getting a masters degree #and i know they expect that I'll take care of them when theyre old bc in their ideal. imagined. scenario. i 1) dont off myself in the next #few years 2) am not a lesbian who ruins the whole family dynamic by coming out and 3) get a well paying job and a husband #so. so yeah #but right NOW theyre nice to me and they take care of me but also i think everything is pointless but i try anyway because they take care #of me and they want me to be well but how am i supposed to be Get Well if i don't believe in myself #like i dont think thats possible really. #maybe a tiny bit? like maybe i won't be Well but i can be better. yeah i can do that #so i guess thats why im still trying #but then it's like. being Better is so. marginally different from being at rock bottom in a way #like yeah its significant improvement clinically but to me it's still casually miserable in its own unique way bc it's better but its still #very much present lingering choking me etc #so that brings me to the following: #im trying so hard but for what exactly? 'just keep going!' but at what cost? but why when im still like this? #z.post

[trans-li-ling]

I think we should give Zora a gun and whatever happens to the Shadow Decree happens

#dislyte #Listen I'm going to be honest. I like a lot of shadow Decree characters. But also. #Given the chance I would kill them off in story because of how much I hate them. #Mainly the fact a good chunk of them are like. Okay with child murder? Like hello #The union 100% deserves criticism (hi Luo Yan the cop who got fired bc he thought the law was beneath him what's up w u being here) and #Tiye's story is. Whoooo boy. The union definitely has An Interest In Branding #But again. Orphanage burning was A Thing That Happened #And ofc there's the meta view of like... What are the bad guys ideals? Are they only evil bc they're extreme? And I try 2 keep that in mind #But like the Shadow Decree is kinda... Just full of selfish people. Ofc some ppl are more sympathetic but all of them Are Selfish #Honestly Bonnie is like the only one who stands out to me as like... Yeah the union failed her community and she's rightfully mad #Most of the others lost like. One person either to the union or just thought the shadow Decree would let them get revenge and #It's a case by case thing like some of them probably feel like they have nowhere else to go and that's understandable but the initial #Actions they took were selfish and I feel like dislyte puts too much into making the characters surface level sympathetic (Ophelia) rather #Than grappling with if they view themselves as good people or if they're disappointed in themselves or if they don't care #(forgot to say earlier Jiang Jiuli n Jiang Man r valid in hatred though like the union directly fucked them over and it's understandable #That they fucking hate them so like it's more grey) #(also this is why like... Nicole n Cecilia r some of my faves they don't give a shit they just wanna fuck stuff up and I can respect that) #And Catherine is actually well done because she's full of hatred and even if she has soft moments shes just. Mean as hell! #LYNN I love Lynn but girl you know about the orphanage burning right???? Right??????? #Anyway how well known is the burning of the union? Iirc it was both the HQ and the Orphanage so do ppl only know abt the HQ or both or???? #Anyway the union is flawed but trying unaffiliated espers are similar and the shadow Decree is 90% people who are selfish and toxic and #Really fucking annoying. I fucking hate Ophelia so much you have no idea I want to throw bricks at her. #Anyways Zora is the best character and deserves free therapy and a lifetime supply or tiramisu and a gun #JASPER TRIED TO FUCK W THE UNION WITHOUT JOINING YHE CHILD MURDER ORGINIZATION

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

#i need to stop doomscrolling its four in the morning im so exhausted i technically have school shit i needed to finish and i have to get up #to go to class in a few hours too #it helps nothing either. its horrible to look and its horrible to look away and they both do absolutely nothing past a point just like w th #other endless amount of absolutely horrible things going on in the world rn #theres no new information now either. just the fallout and seeing what comes next #this and no other horrible thing going on in the world is abt us and how it affects us emotionally obviously like that's just specs of dust #on the thing itself #but. yeah. i. i dont think the human mind copes well w going from locally based ape empathy to exposure to every horrible thing everywhere #....... russia has bombed more apartments and civilian buildings too :( ppl caught under the rubble and dead #just. dear god.. i just keep thinking that. i just keep saying that to myself. dear god #dear god oh lord of duamne ya allah yarabbi whatever variation its most of what goes through my mind on loop #while my mind runs through so much of it. palestina and all the videos of dead and murdered and the children the videos from last week of #that tourist girl in israel the war in ukraina whats happening in kosovo armenia the uyghurs and china all the conflict in india and #pakistan the state of afghanistan yamen civilians being tortured by gangs in south america torture in general and the prisons around the #world and the slavery and the torture and the killing and the starvation and the pain and the million other things going on i don't even #know about and the fucking climate jesus christ the climate change??? #and my mind just doesnt stop. it goes through so much shit it maps out this horrible web of pain and pain and pain throughout the entire #world ;;_;; #i uh. i desperately need to take more time in my life and for years on end ive needed to tske more time in my life to think #of the good things happening in ths world too. small things big things anything just anything good anything getting better anything thats #working any proof of humanity in this species #i just. . #. #i go through the full range of human emotion from rage to numbness and dissociation to bitterness to shock to nothing shocks me to endless #sorrow to disgust and i end up at the end #feeling like the same kid who wants to cry and ask why can't we just be nicer to each other please. as if its that simple. j wish it was. #god. i wish

[kelpiemomma]

i really need to draw khan and emmet hanging out bc they would be such buddies. ingo hates how quickly they bonded bc khan took one look at emmet, at how excited emmet is to battle, and seemed to Immediately like him (it only bc khan had already bonded w ingo, but like hell will he ever admit that. that proves he has emotions! he has to hide those.) khan & emmet battling each other. khan takes over for ingo sometimes on the multi trains except he and emmet get so into battles that they need a chaperone to keep them from getting too rowdy bc somehow (???) they've managed to destroy a couple of train cars??? khan challenges the subway himself (he battles using himself but also his pokemon. he'd rather battle using himself, but ingo and emmet get awfully concerned when he faints so he stops doing it so much). khan and emmet discuss battle tactics (khan insists "offense is the best defense" and "go balls to the walls immediately on attack" and emmet argues for better strategizing and well rounded move pools) and help each other train, offering suggestions and tips and "hey, let's try this maneuver" or "i think it would be better if you did this move first".

not that they don't enjoy an off day, but they definitely bonded well over battles.

#khan a. #just some thoughts #ingo is a little jealous over just how quick khan seemed to take to emmet but khan saw how ingo behaved around his brother and knew #he didn't have to worry. he based his reaction off ingo. not that he still liked emmet immediately (he didn't even immediately like akari- #he's been burned too many times to so quickly and willingly open his heart like that) but while it took him at least a year to go from #dubiously tolerating ingo for akari to hanging out with ingo with the excuse of 'having nothing better to do' and even longer to say #'yeah these are my people and i will protect them' (bc admitting he likes them?? that he loves that they love him?? that he would #keep them safe at the cost of his own life without hesitation? oh he'll admit he'll protect them but he would not say out loud #just how far he'd go to protect them.) it took him a few weeks to go from eyeballing emmet still suspiciously to going out of his way #to engage emmet in conversation and approach him. ofc he still approached emmet by way of 'i saw your battle. try me >:)' and challenging #him. but he wasn't threatening to kill him or anything. akari saw how khan watched ingo for his cues tho (bc she was doing the same thing. #that may have been her dad's brother but he was still just a stranger to her. she's been hurt by enough strangers.) #and she thinks its funny that ingo will grumble and complain about khan not threatening emmet like he'd threatened ingo in the beginning #(when khans not around ofc) but won't say it to his face. ingo is an Adult. he's Above Tthat. he's NOT jealous and upset that this #feral bastard has left him behind for a new treat (his OWN TWIN.) nevermind that khan will turn down emmet if ingo has a task for him #and that khan still drops in for dinner with them (drops everything if ingo invites him (through akari) for dinner). #ingo is still khan's preferred twin (unintentional human pack instinct & dog instinct bonding to ingo) but #he's glad that emmet exists as well. he's privately glad the twins exist and that ingo ended up in hisui and that nana yeeted him to arceus #bc what a sad & pathetic existence he'd have otherwise had. fighting w nana and getting his mind wiped. arguing w customers. #he'd have stagnated until he self destructed. #ANYWAY. i love my OC and the family he accidentally got himself inserted into.

[welcometoteyvat]

"the narrow eyes of Asians would be true purely because of the region"

my good brother in christ, DIE.

#went into the zhongli tag. day ruined #'I had almost no experience drawing such an appearance.' YEAH I CAN TELL BY HOW U REDUCE BEING (E)ASIAN TO JUST MONOLIDS AND NOTHING ELSE. #im sorry but also fucking saying this about GENSHIN of all things get a brain idiot #every character in the game has big ole anime eyes #including every single character from liyue and inazuma #like idk what a way to tell me that you haven't met a single asian person in your life and still think of us as stereotypes #i hold a special place of hate in my heart for people who. draw characters from easian media in a ''''''''realistic'''''''' style #and then make their eyes the stereotype slit eyes or otherwise hella fucking ugly . and justify w 'realistic style' 🤓🤓 #bro just say youre still xenophobic and go #anyways whatever. killing and maiming but in my mind. #the other thing abt this that makes me angry is this is literally zhongli. he's the epitome of chinese coded in the game. and then ur like #'he MUST have narrow eyes' DIE! fucking why was that comment necessary FOR GODS SAKE . he's chinese in ways that are not phenotypical #anyways whatever idc if op sees this if it's ignorance theyre on thin fucking ice and if its racism then im glad if it ticks them off #ramblings! #the kicker is also i wouldve rbed that without thinking twice if i didnt read the fucking caption. it was decent art but never fucking mind

[awek-s-archived]

I wish my mom would stop and think before she speaks but at the same time I don’t know if she does think and says hurtful things on purpose or just doesn’t realise at all

#I mentioned sammy is gonna need more hay next week and she was like yeah cuz mom works for the animals (sammy and toto) #and I was like when I start my new degree I’ll get my student loan and I’ll be paying for them entirely so it’s ok #and she got really mad at me for it like snappy and shit and tried to change the subject and claim she never said that #like it happened 10 seconds ago I think I’d remember #anyway like I don’t want to be financially dependent on her but she knows jobs are nonexistent here etc #also she’s the one who wanted to get sammy like I just made a comment abt wanting him and she was like ok we’ll get him. she always says no #when I make jokes abt getting another pet so him being her expense currently is her own fault lol #and when I was at university she never took the dog to the vet. he didn’t have treats ever. etc etc so he wasn’t a huge expense it was just #dog food every couple weeks or once a month #when I came home for uni I dropped all my savings on his vet trips. £200 at a time #bc he was really sick #and I’ve been killing myself w worry ever since I’ve been broke entirely and not able to afford anything bc she brags about how he’s her dog #as well and she doesn’t mind paying for stuff for him but she does bc she shoves it in my face every time she can #idk it’s just a miserable existence to live I wish I wasn’t here #it’s not like she takes care of either of them outside of taking photos for sns or walking toto on weekends #and changing sammys bedding twice #aweks.txt

[chooey]

kinda came out (?????????) to an old middle school friend i dont really keep up with much i dont know if that was wise

#i think. unwise #but idk !!!!!!! theyre like the only queer person i know irl 😭 so in my mind i'd be safe with them .... #also i dont think it was that shocking shdjdk we always freaked out about girls love shit in middle school & i rejected their male friend #without really giving a real (lol) reason bc haha i am straight right !!!!!!! (no) #i want to trust them to not tell bc thats common decency right . as a queer person themselves ... #anyw i didnt come out super formally it was kinda in passing and they were cool with it !!! dont wanna make a big deal out of it 😭 #but as u can see it IS a big deal as im shaking crying throwing up writing this tumblr post . #i joke ab it everyday w my sisters . my best friends could maybe have an inkling ??? think theyd be cool w it #my parents would KILL me. i know it 😭 all my extended family would think bad of me sjdkd esp my sweet grandma who raised me :((((( #at this point i just . wanted solidarity bc theres . no one around me that im friends with so !!!!!!! it just . came out :/ #yeah.... yeah #izza💭 #maybe i'll delete this :///